Coulture Spring 2019 by Coulture Magazine

SPRING 2019

EDITORS-IN-CHIEF Cassandra Cassidy Patrick Rosemond

ASSOCIATE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Caroline Farrell

DESIGN

Editor • Anna Bradsher Editor • Emily Cunningham Editor • Carter Frye

PHOTOGRAPHY

Director • Sabah Kadir Director • Gabrielle Thompson Associate Director • Nash Consing

VIDEOGRAPHY

Director • Landon Cooper Director •Anabelle Scarborough

STYLE

Director • Susie Altz Director • Sterling Sidebottom

BEAUTY

Editor • Clara Matthews Associate Editor • Jasmine Wilson

MODELING

Director • Maia Guterbock Director • Margaret Cullum

PRODUCTION

Creative Director • Carson Goodwyn Set Designer • Sydney Wood

ARTS

Editor • Claire Ruch Editor • Joanna Zhang Associate Editor • Drew Wayland

FEATURES

Editor • Ruth Samuel Editor • Chloe Williams

HEALTH

Editor • Carly Christensen Editor • Sarah Park

COPYEDITORS

Editor • Liz Chen

SOCIAL MEDIA

Director • Caroline Sink

DEVELOPMENT

Director of Fundraising • Sarah Lundgren Director of Fundraising • Lizzy Laufters Director of Campus Engagement • Shadi Bakhtiyari Director of Events • Sidney Morris Director of Events • Maddie Dyer Associate Director • Masaaki Kamiya

FINANCE

Director • JoLynn Smith

DIGITAL

Editor • Molly Weisner Associate Editor • Michelle Li

WEB DESIGN

Director • Rachel Thimsen

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

ARTS

Mingxuan Shen Delaney Dodge Janet Alsas Miranda DiPaolo Ellie Glass Ares Zerunyan Caroline Levine Alley Steele Alicia Robbins Jo Snow Harris Wheless Nupur Shah Jodie Londono

BEAUTY

Natalia Brache Emmy Smith Shelby Brown Rachel Putnam Charity Frye Lindsay Rusczak Mitva Patel Madelyn Welch Jasmine Wilson Sophia Ong Faith Allen Montia Daniels Mckenzie Mixon Sia Kennedy Jehan Ramji Olivia Maddix

COPYEDITING Shelby Voss Natalie Plahuta Maddie Fetsko Emily Siegmund Emma Spears Sophie Roth Tran Nguyen

DEVELOPMENT Julia Slawek Kathryn Kelly Ann Mariah Burton Julia Zanzot Blair Gattis Ann Rogers Emily Holler Nina Dakoriya Claire Blossom Haley Creech Isley Jepko Tanya Slehria Taylor Bolden Madison Nance Kennedy Meehan Lucia Hagert Lucy Rose Anna Patricios Morgan Pestyk Laura Shanahan Hailey Hawkins Isobel Bookman Tanya Slehria Isabella Canovai Sydney Downes Jaylene Cruz Mia Hodges Bethany Collier Neil Patel Izzy McGoey Braeden Personius Kendall Harrow Cam Edson Willie Yang Jen Katsnelson

DIGITAL

Sarah Park Sofia Wieland Alexa Cardoso Kate Meadows Janis Arrojado Caroline Kennedy

FEATURES

Catherine Earp Virginia Blanton Olivia Kupec Liz Johnson Madeline Pennington Elizabeth Thompson Arabella Saunders Anna Mudd Gabby Basora Joseph Held

FINANCE

Alyssa Floyd Amanda Cheung Lindsay Hoyt Emily Gotschalk Norma Techarukpong

GRAPHIC DESIGN Zoe Hambley Annie Rudisill Shephard Sullivan Kaki McNeel Wesley Harwood Lauren Wilkinson Elizabeth Bryant Briana Merrigan Mingxuan Shen Sydney Seferyn Casie Hahn Kendal Orrantia

HEALTH

Hannah Keel Emma Ravenberg Carolyn Blackburn Adriana Diaz Grace Stroup

PHOTOGRAPHY Jordyn Burrell Travis Cheung Barron Northrup Landon Cooper Helen Hong Lawson Brooks Sydney Farris Sarah Kreitzer Tristan Brown Anisha Datta Madison Speyer Alina Grubnyak

SOCIAL MEDIA

Delainey Kirkwood Madison Blevins Caroline Willard Lizzy Laufters Helen Johnston Madison Carr Briana Humes Alexandra Sacristan Xinyu Xu Gabby Kromah

STYLE

Olivia Gibson Ian Dowling Cecilia Fang Samantha Ferris Caroline Kloster Elizabeth Baron Martha Pope George Adanuty Avanish Madhavaram Eleanor Fayette Plambeck Juliana Koricke Margaret Cullum Collin Flynn Ami Patel Amanda Cheung Philecia Klein Savannah Fowler Ginny Howey Hannah Snow Naly Dagout Sterling Roberts Macy Meyer Jerry Yan Paris Hackett Jackson Byrne Lauren Fowler Maggie O’Brien Madeline Frellick Kate Meadows

VIDEOGRAPHY

Alex Manwill Vanessa Agunobi Savannah Sowers Lizzy Campbell John Bigelow Chrissy Humphrey Taylor Tyson Rainey Scarborough Giselle Pagunuran Melissa Rademaker David Restrepo Trinity Turlington Britney Nguyen Isabel Pernia

WEB DESIGN

Natalie Russell Marigrace Seaton Kristin Van Epps

ADVISORS Dana McMahan Chris Roush

INSTAGRAM • @COULTUREMAG TWITTER• @COULTUREMAG FACEBOOK • @COULTUREMAGAZINE WEB • COULTURE.ORG

7 9 13 15 21 23 25 27 31 35

CULTURE UPDATE - TRUSTING LOVE

COSMETIQUE - MAKEUP OUR MOTHERS TAUGHT US STYLE FEATURE 1 - IN DEFENSE OF CULT WEDDING OBSESSIONS CURRENTLY TRENDING - GETTING READY IS BETTER THAN GOING OUT STYLE FEATURE 2 - LOOK GOOD, FEEL BETTER STUDENT SPOTLIGHT - ANGUM CHECK: LOVE ISNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T SILENT CHECKUP - ON HEARTBREAK

HEALTH FEATURE - AIDS: PERPETUATED BY HATE IN THE ABSENCE OF LOVE ARTS FEATURE - DIAMOND-CUT: THE TOUGH AND SHINING WOMEN OF JAZZ PHOTO SHOOT 1 - CHOSEN FAMILIES

DEX

IN41 43 47 57 65 77 78 79 81 83

LOCAL SPOTLIGHT - CHANGING SPACE

TRAVEL FEATURE - PLACES OF THE MIND

CAMERA OBSCURA - REQUIEM

MAIN FEATURE - THE BUSINESS OF PLEASURE PHOTO SHOOT 2 - MAKE YOUR OWN LOVE STORY MINI ARTS FEATURE - GIRL IN RED

CONTENTION - COMMODIFYING THE PRIDE MOVEMENT CAUGHT OUR EYE - Q & A WITH HEARTBREAK COACH CLAIRE BYRNE CONNECT - WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT MINI FEATURE - IT’S ALL THE SAME THING

PATRICK ROSEMOND

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

CAROLINE FARRELL

ASSOCIATE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

The theme of this issue is love. This is The Love Issue. When we were brainstorming what this issue would look like, our minds kept racing back to the people who make this organization a family: our staff. Coulture is more than a magazine. It’s a community. Behind these pages are roughly 200 student creatives that come together in any capacity they can to make what you are reading right now a collection of the voices of UNC students. We could sit here and tell you what love should be, defining it for you, maybe drawing a diagram, but love is so many things. It’s relative. What love is for you may not be what it is for the person sitting next to you. This issue was created with love about love for people who were told they were not deserving of love, people who have just dipped their toes into their first love and for those that have lost love. This issue was made by a team who understands the power of love and that it’s a constant work in progress. As we both approach our senior year, we can’t help but stop and think about all that has happened in the past year. Coulture gained three new leaders, rebranded our identity, created two issues near and dear to our hearts, celebrated with some fun events and did it all with the help of a stellar team that challenged and inspired us. Cassandra, our fearless leader, you took this organization, ripped it apart and saw the good that it had. You challenged what we never thought could be done and are a ray of sun we will miss dearly. When Patrick and Cassandra started working together, they both dreamed of doing a hot air balloon shoot. Though that dream is still in the air, one day, we’re going to make it happen. To our senior staff, we wish you the best and thank you for the time you have invested into making this organization a community. Thank you for embracing authenticity. You matter and we are excited for everything that is to come from each and every one of you. To our readers, we encourage you to embrace and radiate love. In this issue, we celebrate all forms of love, from familial and chosen families to friendships and breakups, because love slips into our lives in ways seen and unseen. In our role, we want to make every student, regardless of race, sexual orientation, gender, ability and socioeconomic status, feel represented and heard. Hopefully, through this process, an overwhelming sense of love can rise from it. We hope we’ve done that for you and are ready to take it all to the next level in the coming year. Spread love and accept love.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

CASSANDRA CASSIDY

Some type of love note.

I used to hate this place. I hated the way people sat on the quad when it was sunny and the way everyone called this home and the way seniors cried when their four years ended. Now I don’t leave the quad—not for classes, not for meetings. If you need to see me, you can see me on the quad. Now I love this place. I love this magazine. I love how people invest their time in it and how people get excited when a new issue is coming out. I love waking up at 6 am on a Saturday morning before a 12 hour photoshoot. Coulture made me comfortable with myself. This magazine gave me the launch I needed to intern in New York, to be hilarious and weird. To love the parts of people that I don’t like. To love the parts of myself I don’t like. I had the time of my life with you all. I could not have done this without my rock, Anna, who made sure I was awake for early meetings and who always brought me fresh bread. I could not have done this without Patrick, my other half throughout this whole mess that we love so dearly. I could not have done this without complete and utter faith in my successor, Caroline. I couldn’t have done this without Carter and Emily who managed to make 9 am Sunday meetings actually fun. I wouldn’t be in this position most of all without Alexandra, the founder of Coulture, who took me under her wing when I didn’t know what I wanted to do and didn’t know if I could stay at this school. It turns out, I love this school. I love the person I’ve become while being here. Sometimes love isn’t a date and it isn’t a kiss and it isn’t having someone to cuddle up to. For me, in college, love was making banana bread. It was singing “Closer” by The Chainsmokers at Goodfellows karaoke. It was getting closer to people the more I screwed up. I can’t wait to look back and smile at the days when we drank Aristocrat and I aimlessly searched for meaning in relationships that weren’t meant to be, or when I aimlessly searched for relationships and found my closest friends. This issue is about love. For me, love is writing this letter right now as I sit in the Coulture office late at night surrounded by my favorite people. I hope you find what love is for you. One day I’ll think about those early mornings and these late nights and the weirdly deep conversations I have with myself, and I’ll smile—I won’t know why, but I think I’ll just smile, as if the memories are coming out. 6

REMEMBER, LOVE IS WHAT BROUGHT YOU HERE AND IF YOU TRUSTED LOVE THIS FAR, DON’T PANIC NOW. TRUST IT ALL THE WAY.

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

Trusting Love: IF BEALE STREET COULD TALK

WRITTEN BY RUTH SAMUEL | DESIGNED BY ANNIE RUDISILL Content warning: This article mentions sexual assault. “Every Black person born in America was born on Beale Street… Beale Street is our legacy,” he wrote. “This novel deals with the impossibility and the possibility, the absolute necessity, to give expression to this legacy.” These are the words of social critic, playwright and African-American novelist James Baldwin, who authored “If Beale Street Could Talk,” in 1974. Barry Jenkins, the creator of award-winning film “Moonlight,” adapted Baldwin’s novel into what is now a critically acclaimed, Golden Globe caliber motion picture. The film follows 19-year-old Clementine “Tish” Rivers and her 22-year-old fiancé, Alonzo “Fonny” Hunt, as they navigate the challenges of love, life and being young and Black in America. The movie is set in the 1970s in Harlem, New York — the same period in which mass incarceration, particularly of Black men, began to skyrocket in the United States in response to crimes committed during the preceding decade. The first scene opens with the couple gazing wistfully into each other’s eyes while standing on a rooftop overlooking the city. The two are wearing coordinating outfits of yellow and blue which symbolize their kindred spirits, providing a soft yet powerful depiction of Black love contrary to what is usually portrayed in media. The plot thickens when Tish, a department store clerk who sells perfumes, learns that her husband-to-be, a humble craftsman and cook, is falsely accused of sexually assaulting a Puerto Rican woman. Jailed indefinitely and targeted by a broken

justice system, Fonny leaves Tish pregnant, unmarried and at odds with his Biblethumping mother who disapproves of their relationship. While serving time, Fonny momentarily breaks down, yelling over the phone to Tish that she is unaware of what he endures in jail, but she responds, “I know because I am with you.” Love prevails amid the stress, the numerous legal consultations and conversations through glass windows as we watch the two characters evolve and learn to trust that their past and present intimacy will empower them to carry on. With appearances from the Academy Award-winning Regina King, who plays Tish’s mother, and “Atlanta’s” Brian Tyree Henry, “If Beale Street Could Talk,” is a love story about family and injustice in America that deserves audience introspection and discussion. Regardless of its age, the themes present in the novel are timeless and serve as reminders of the issues that still pervade through today’s society. In a country continuing to struggle with providing equitable, nondiscriminatory housing and grappling with racial profiling and corruption, the film hits home for many. The movie not only highlights the continued, cyclical oppression of Black people in America, but stands as a testament to the resilience that we, as Black people and as human beings, possess in spite of adversity. On the verge of losing hope, hold the words of Mrs. Rivers dear: “Remember, love is what brought you here and if you trusted love this far, don’t panic now. Trust it all the way.”

Makeup Our Mothers Taught Us WRITTEN BY CLARA MATTHEWS | DESIGNED BY WESLEY HARWOOD MODELED BY LAUREN + SABRINA KANE, SAVANNAH + JOHANNA FOWLER, BROOKE + GABRIELLE SMALTZ, SABAH KADIR + SUFIA SIDDIQUE

Anyone who wears makeup got into it somehow or somewhere. Some of us learned from our friends, but a lot of us picked up tricks from our family members. These people could have been moms, dads, aunts, grandmas â&#x20AC;&#x201D; maybe even close family friends. We all have the tips we started with before we developed our own approach to makeup, but at the end of the day, a lot of us never forget our roots and why we grew to love makeup. The way that we get introduced to makeup can say a lot about our relationships and the ways that our families pass down what they find beautiful.

SAVANNAH FOWLER

My mom has always taught and displayed to me a very natural essence of makeup. Her makeup is very simple only using a little bit of concealer, subtle brown eyeliner, mascara and a little bit of blush. When I started wearing makeup she always told me to just conceal my blemishes, under eye circles and put on a little bit of mascara but nothing else, to enhance my natural beauty. Because of her example, I still now rarely wear makeup and if I do I just wear very natural tones.

COULTURE MAGAZINE â&#x20AC;˘ THE LOVE ISSUE

BROOKE SMALTZ

Makeup is an art form I share with my mom. When I was around 13, I started my interest in makeup. My mom would take me to the boutique in the mall and each time I was allowed one or two products to add to my collection. These products were like art supplies to me, and I learned to use them with creativity and care. Through our tradition, my mom instilled an appreciation for makeup as an outward expression of inner beauty.

SABAH KADIR

My mom always taught me that makeup is for fun, to express myself, and that being bold is never a bad thing. She never makes me think I need it - I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, and no one does for that matter - but that if you want to slap on some lipstick and show the world you mean business, do it! My mom is all I am and ever want to be: bold, independent, caring, and intelligent. Makeup is just one way we share our selflove and love for others with the world.

In Defense of Cult Wedding Obsessions HOW WEDDING ATTIRE EMBODIES MEANINGFUL FASHION

WRITTEN BY CAROLINE KLOSTER | DESIGNED BY LAUREN WILKINSON In an age where live television gradually flounders at the hands of platforms like Netflix and Youtube, 29.2 million people in the United States glued their eyes to their TVs for one event in May 2018: the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Later that year, photos of Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas’ extravagant wedding celebration went viral, receiving upwards of five million likes on Instagram. Within that same month, Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth’s wedding snaps captured the hearts of thousands — precisely, the 62 thousand people that retweeted a low-quality photo of the pair hugging with Cyrus’ white dress at the center. With new stories and tidbits of gossip seemingly available by the second online and on television, why is it that weddings — particularly photos and videos of them — have managed to capture the rare golden snitch of sustained public attention? One convenient hypothesis is that the human race is superficial. Weddings typically involve fanfare and lavish attire, and humans are easily excited by flashing lights and shiny diamonds, especially when one pops up on their television or Instagram feed. Even a tiny 13

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

baby would be enthralled by Markle’s diamond tiara or Chopra’s 75-foot veil. Viewing “fashion” as a dirty word is an easy way for some to make sense of what they see as an unfounded infatuation with weddings or clothing in general. Synonyms for such a word might include materialism, self-absorption, superficiality or exclusivity. It’s easy to equate fashion, or an interest in Miley Cyrus’s wedding dress, with blind privilege and a lack of intelligence. But does making such a wide characterization of the human race not seem a little too easy, a smidge too cynical? Here’s an alternate hypothesis: The human race values love, and wedding attire plays a meaningful and exciting role in the way love is expressed. At its core, fashion is putting clothing on your body and letting it speak for you. It’s playing a role in the trajectory of your life. In its purest form, it’s the opposite of exclusive — it’s something that anybody can participate in. People use fashion every day to achieve the noblest of goals: When a young boy puts on a Cinderella dress, he’s allowing himself to explore every facet of his identity. When a woman puts on her favorite power suit for a job interview, she’s actively

pursuing confidence, achievement and self-worth. When a coming-of-age teenager locks in the perfect slip dress and turtleneck combination, she uses a fun outfit as a jetpack to propel her towards making that day the best one yet. These small moments of triumph with clothing carry people through life’s events, miniscule or monumental. When a bride chooses her wedding ensemble, she’s using fashion as a powerful symbol of humankind’s greatest pursuit: love. The ensemble Meghan Markle wore in front of millions of people last May wasn’t merely chosen in pursuit of looking beautiful or “showing off.” It was a living mural of her values and the values of the family she was joining. The flowers hand-embroidered onto her veil weren’t used to add a girly flair: Wintersweet is grown outside the Kensington Palace, the California poppy grows in Markle’s birth state, and the 53 other individual flowers represented the states of the Commonwealth. Through incredibly detailed embroidery that some might deem as excessive, Markle quite literally wore her commitment to her new home, her respect for her past, and her interest in continuing the work of the Commonwealth in the future. For her Hindu wedding to Nick Jonas, Priyanka Chopra didn’t wear a red lehenga because she knew it would stand out in an Instagram picture or because it made her eyes pop. The color was instead a nod to her heritage: Indian brides often wear red because Indian culture ties the color to love, passion and fertility. The names of her parents were sewn into the waistband of her skirt in her native language, and the ensemble was paired with a Western inspired veil. Chopra called her wedding attire “an amalgamation of who I am.” Examining cross-cultural differences in bridal attire is like discovering a treasure chest filled with unique, region-specific tools for embodying love, commitment, sacrifice and happiness through clothing — and the journey to reach such a chest doesn’t

when they first saw her try it on. Niki Shamdasani graduated from UNC-CH in 2015. Growing up Indian-American in Fayetteville, Shamdasani’s experiences of Indian attire unfolded at Indian weddings, where she was able to dress in elaborate ensembles that they wouldn’t wear in their daily life. After attending an Indian wedding in California, Shamdasani and her sister began their own clothing brand, Sani, an ode to the intricacy and beauty of Indian formal wear. With Shamdasani’s case and her clients, the unique experience of outfitting oneself for an Indian wedding serves as a meaningful connection to their own culture. The time and effort spent planning a wedding outfit elicited joy, confidence and pure excitement about getting dressed in a way that is not founded on superficiality but rather deep cultural practices and heritage. “The cool part about it has been seeing young Indian women actually get more excited about this part of their culture. Getting to see people’s increased excitement for dressing up for this wedding and celebrating these couples is the coolest part of getting to dress people,” Shamdasani said. The Western white gown interprets the celebration of love in a different way than the colorful Indian sari. Both ensembles are pivotal emblems of what their wearers want to illuminate as worthwhile, but one is translated through something borrowed, blue, old and new, while the other celebrates traditional jewelry, henna and colorful fabrics. Almost nobody is immune to excitement over clothing. Even those who spend no longer than two minutes picking out an outfit; or those who wear a uniform every day and skip the ensemble conjuring process altogether. Everyone understands that clothing plays some sort of inherent role in their lives, even if that role is in establishing their identity as one who doesn’t care about clothes. Clothing’s greatest feat is its ability to amplify a message, whether saliently like Viktor & Rolf ’s couture gowns with phrases like “I’m not shy, I just don’t like you” plastered across the front, or subtly like Chopra’s mix of Indian and Western-inspired elements to emphasize her multifaceted identity. Weddings are an opportunity to emphasize the human race’s greatest message of all: We are capable of love, and that is worth celebrating. The next time controversy arises over the lavish spending involved with weddings, accompanied by articles characterizing newlywed celebrities as “brandobsessed” or “prone to flaunting,” consider taking an alternative approach: Instead of tipping your head high and scoffing at those who spend hours researching a certain someone’s wedding dress, try checking inside the waistband. It could be telling a story you might want to hear.

WEDDINGS ARE AN OPPORTUNITY TO EMPHASIZE THE HUMAN RACE’S GREATEST MESSAGE OF ALL: WE ARE CAPABLE OF LOVE AND THAT IS WORTH CELEBRATING. require sailing the seven seas or finding an “X” on a map. Each bride, wearing a sari or a white gown, has a specific story to tell through her clothing, whether she does so consciously or unconsciously. Hayley Church, a senior at UNC-CH, got married in a traditional Western wedding in the summer of 2018. She decided on the dress she wore because nothing had ever made her feel more confident in her life. She felt that she had found a piece of clothing that perfectly embodied her personality, and her guests agreed — so much that her mother and grandma cried

GETTING READY

GOING OUT

DESIGNED BY ZOE HAMBLEY | PHOTOGRAPHED BY ANISHA DATTA, ALINA GRUBNYAK, HELEN HONG, SABAH KADIR, MADISON SPEYER MODELED BY DOROTHY COLON, HOPE CONN, MASAAKI KAMIYA, KELLY PHAM, JESSICA HERNANDEZ 15

COULTURE MAGAZINE â&#x20AC;¢ THE LOVE ISSUE

FEATHER EARRINGS FROM MONKEE’S

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

COULTURE MAGAZINE â&#x20AC;¢ THE LOVE ISSUE

LOOK GOOD, FEEL BETTER WRITTEN BY ABIGALE SPEIGHT DESIGNED BY WESLEY HARWOOD Redefining self-love through fashion, Ararose, the Londonbased fashion brand, works to empower the women wearing their clothes and the women making their clothes. The sustainablysourced clothing company started by sisters Hannah and Sophia work to make you look good and feel better. The experience of shopping for clothes can be demoralizing, unrealistic and overwhelming. Ararose has shifted that stigma to create an enjoyable and relatable space for women to purchase clothing. As fast fashion, Instagram influencers and digitally retouched images dominate the fashion industry, the raw, untouched images on the Ararose site stand out as refreshingly authentic. The inclusive representation presents a realistic portrayal of how the clothes will look on a variety of figures. It is time to fall in love with slow fashion and brands that create with purpose. Inspired by the desire to shift away from mass-produced fast fashion, the brand’s first collection was produced on a small scale by employees in a factory in Bangladesh. The factory the sisters worked with ensured a living fair wage, fair working hours and a safe working environment. As consumers, knowing who is making the clothes allows people to use their purchasing power to support ethically sourced garments. “The majority of people have absolutely no idea of the damaging effects of the fashion industry—particularly the fast fashion industry has on our planet and the workers. When you say the terms ‘slow fashion’ or ‘organic cotton’ to the average fast fashion consumer they won’t understand what you mean,” Hannah said. In contrast with fast fashion brands, Ararose seeks to produce garments that will last. The introduction of their project Conscious Outlet ensures no garments are being sent to a landfill because of a minor flaw. The conscious outlet is a unique addition to the shopping experience that lets consumers buy discounted pieces that have been previously worn in a photo shoot, have a small misprint or are missing a tag—seemingly insignificant flaws that other companies believe is reason to discard tons of wearable garments. In today’s social media-driven society, many young women feel the pressure to fit in and ‘be perfect’. Ararose hopes to empower women through their clothing and reclaim this experience. Giving graphic t-shirts a modern update, the brand sells the idea of empowerment through feminist slogans and mindful messages. Featured in both 2018 British Vogue and Brazilian Elle, the t-shirt with “Society has a distorted perception of beauty” written in bold print has gained global media attention with their call to action against the unrealistic societal expectations women are faced with. The clothing items Ararose designs and produces are classically 21

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

cut with fabric and patterns that the company hopes will remain timeless and outlast the ever-changing fashion trends propagated through fast fashion. One of the ways Ararose promotes an online community of women being their natural, greatest selves is through their Ararose Interviews. Hannah and Sophia want to “showcase the power of authenticity and vulnerability, particularly in the online world.” They aim to create a sisterhood of women who open up about their insecurities and struggles because everyone has them. “It’s okay that you’re still a work in progress. It’s okay that you’re not perfect and you are so much more than your physical appearance,” the sisters stated proudly. The models in the interviews are representative of the women you see in the real world. Through their interviews, they share personal insecurities, what they love about themselves and how they would personally style specific clothing items. The inclusive range of body types and races is breaking the stereotypical image you generally see when shopping online and is giving women a range of identities to relate to while shopping. “In a world where we are constantly bombarded by false perfection portrayed by the media and social media, I felt it was essential that the stories behind the models were showcased to our customers. The aim was to break unattainable perfection barrier by highlighting that absolutely everybody has a story behind the image, and sharing that story can be a real positive influence on someone else,” Hannah said. Ararose prides itself on the basis that small details go a long way. When a customer purchases an article of clothing, they receive a “mirror message” that serves as an affirmation or quote it hopes you will find loving, thought-provoking and inspiring. It hopes the mirror message inspires you to spread the love and pass it on to a loved one, friend or stranger. One mirror message that a customer received with her purchase was: ‘You were born to make a difference in the world, so don’t waste a second. Know your value, know your worth. You are powerful simply for being you.’ Harnessing the power a simple piece of clothing holds, Ararose believes clothing has the ability to empower women wearing and making the clothes. From production to purchase, love for women is at the heart of Ararose.

LOVE ISN’T SILENT

ANGUM CHECK

WRITTEN BY RUTH SAMUEL DESIGNED BY SYDNEY SEFERYN “That was the first time I had seen that many white people in my life, and the first time I had felt so poor without anyone having to say anything… Then of course, there was the Confederate march that happened my first semester. That was when I was like, ‘This UNC is not for me. They don’t want me here,’” Achieve-Covenant scholar Angum Whitney Check said. Before orientation, she had never visited UNCChapel Hill. However, a sparkly campus tour could not convey what would become evident to her time and time again: This University does not care about her safety, her identity or that of anyone who looks like her. 23

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

As a queer Black woman, she initially hit a low point grasping this sad truth, but rather than continuing to wallow about her predicament, she took matters into her own hands. Four years later Check has not only been awarded the 2018 Martin Luther King Jr. Scholarship but is also a community organizer, a co-founder, and one of the most visible and influential student leaders in the fight for social justice. Check immigrated to the United States from Bali, Cameroon, at the age of seven and since then has lived in Prince George’s County, Maryland, a county composed predominantly of African Americans.

Deceived by the bubble of successful Black individuals able to attain the so-called “American Dream” in PG County, Check experienced a rude awakening in Chapel Hill that propelled her to where she is now. “My senior year of high school, the Baltimore Uprising happened as well as [the murder of ] Trayvon Martin,” Check said. “That was when things started to arise and I was like ‘Ok, there’s something wrong going on here and the world’s fucked up.’ But I didn’t have the language or full educational knowledge to understand why people were rioting 45 minutes from my place.” From her first-ever #StandWithMizzou protest to directly confronting Chancellor Carol Folt in a December 2018 faculty meeting, the 21-year-old Philosophy and African Studies major has dedicated her entire college career to dismantling literal and metaphorical monuments to white supremacy and other forms of oppression on campus. Check says that her purpose lies in advocating for Black queer women, who are always at the forefront of social movements yet are the most marginalized. She aspires to create “a community in which we tell each other we matter.” The protest that affected Check most profoundly took place during the second semester of her first year at UNC. It was about HB2. “The Real Silent Sam Coalition was leading it. These were my friends and mentors and they helped me accept my queerness fully in a way that I had never really imagined,” Check said. “To have this protest centered around Black queer and Black trans people, I had never felt so powerful in that moment but so connected to people — like we are all struggling together, but we have each other.” Among many of Check’s mentors are Eunice Sahle, the head of the department of African, African American and Diaspora Studies Joseph Jordan, the director of the Sonja Haynes Stone Center for Black Culture and History, and UNC alumnae Ebony Ragine George and Samone Oates-Bullock. George and Oates-Bullock were fundamental in starting the Real Silent Sam Coalition and took

sponsored by the Chancellor’s office, Check continues to march on — whether it’s related to the closing of the Center for Civil Rights at UNC or in opposition to the white supremacist monument Silent Sam. For that alone, Check is an inspiration to many. In the eyes of the 2018-2019 UNC Campus Y Copresidents Alli Whitenack and Jessica Bolin, she is a visionary. Whitenack and Bolin spoke of what they admire most about her, highlighting her ability to “galvanize community,” her kind spirit, and some of the untold burdens of what it means to be a student activist. “We feel like we learn about a new leadership responsibility Angum has everyday. While we are sure there are some administrators who are counting down the days till she graduates, student activism on campus will have a huge gap to fill when she leaves,” Whitenack said. Check gravitated to the Campus Y as a first-year student, but found it tiring being in a space she felt fostered a white savior complex. She was on the cusp of “radicalization,” which she defines as “an uncompromising consciousness that will eventually lead to the conclusion of fighting for liberation of all people.” As a sophomore, Check conceived the idea of Black Congress, an organization of Black students for Black liberation, with her comrade Ajamu Dillahunt, a North Carolina Central University student and member of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc. Check later co-founded it with her best friends and fellow seniors, Dominique Brodie and Deshawn Dazevedo, along with 11 other Black leaders on campus. Alas, community organizing is not for the faint of heart. An article published by Essence Magazine in February 2019 revealed that many Black activists suffer from mental health issues at a higher-thanaverage rate. Although Check finds solace in her sorority sisters, her passion for acting and Ebony Readers/ Onyx Theatre (the spoken word subgroup of the Black Student Movement), she grapples with suicidal ideations, anxiety and eating disorders — all of which

ANGUM IS A CHALLENGER, A LEADER, A FIGHTER AND A TRUE CHAMPION FOR CHANGE. Check under their wing. As a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc. and one of Check’s prophytes, OatesBullock shared that watching Check grow from her first year has truly been a journey, and she has always known Check as “passionate, fiery and absolutely hilarious.” “I met Angum in 2016 through my sorority sister, Ebony, as they were close friends, and through my work with UNC Black Congress. What I loved most about Angum was her willingness to stand in her truth,” Oates-Bullock said. “She’s not the type of person to follow a crowd or side with the majority out of convenience. Angum is a challenger, a leader, a fighter and a true champion for change.” Despite receiving numerous death threats online, having her car illegally searched by police and being uninvited from student leadership gatherings

are exacerbated by the work she does. Both Brodie and Dazevedo do their best to support their friend by sending her heartwarming or funny text messages, checking in and giving her space when needed. Check and members of the Black Congress board are ensuring that underclassmen are receiving the mentorship and training needed to continue this work. They understand that the movement is about more than one person or group—it’s about enlisting as many people as possible. As Check finishes up her final semester at UNC, she leaves us with the words of Audre Lorde: “Your silence will not protect you.” She reminds students that while it is okay to be fearful, time is of the essence and there is an urgency to speak up and use your fear and anger to empower you.

ON HEARTBREAK WRITTEN BY ADRIANA DIAZ | DESIGNED BY CASIE HAHN

Heartbreak comes in many forms. Throughout our lives you deal with romantic heartbreak, heartbreak from friendship, from family, even from ourselves. The constant disappointments from those you love and the failures or breaking points of certain relationships can lead to loss and pain. How you choose to face that pain is what shapes you as a person, and what prepares you for future heartbreak to come. One of the most common forms of heartbreak is those that stem from romantic relationships. It’s hard to comprehend the way in which heartbreak works, especially when it means cutting ties with someone you romantically loved. You meet someone, you fall in love -- and then one day they suddenly become a stranger to you, and you’re left to deal with the pain that follows. I never understood how, when a person wants to stop hurting and thinking about the things that cause them so much heartache, their bodies refuse to give them this relief. There are few things more difficult than to finally feel indifferent. Heartbreak is defined by Merriam Webster as “crushing grief, anguish, or distress.” Physical pain often accompanies heartbreak, as found in a study by the Touch Research Institute, where researchers described a “broken heart” as “physical pain in the heart or chest after losing someone” (Field 383). That physical pain is a deep ache inside of your chest, an intense and constant pain that squeezes your heart, making it feel as if it has been broken into a million little pieces. The sadness you feel weighs your heart down, making a home in your body that is so heavy and convinces you that you will never get over this heartbreak. There are many stages of heartbreak. It is not a linear, succinct process with a clear-cut ending. Getting over heartbreak is a precarious balance of trying to ignore the pain while also wanting to work through it. It is exhausting, especially in the digital age where heartbreak has taken on a new meaning. Social media lets you stalk anyone at any time, and exposes you 25

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to things you may not be prepared to see. You can “just take a peek” at their profile, or old messages and photos, and are always hurt by what you see. The toxicity of technology when recovering from heartbreak is exemplified in Huck magazine’s article, “Splitting up and heartbreak in the world of social media,” where author Emily Reynolds argues that modern technology impairs human connection and intimacy. Speaking on her personal experience with heartbreak, she describes how technology worsened a painful breakup by “text[ing] him more than I should have, reading back our conversation from the start...I looked at my LastFm to see what songs we’d listened to together in person. It was during this final act of minor obsession I realised that, had I wanted to, I could even locate exact timestamps of when we talked, kissed or had sex.” This ability to get sucked into reliving each moment in a relationship that’s no longer viable keeps you from moving on, and instead traps you in a world of “what-ifs” and “what does this mean.” Social media also allows you to show yourself off. Breakups can turn into competitions, making you want to prove to the person that hurt you, and everyone else, that you’re fine, great actually! You want to seem like you’re the one doing better without them, having the most fun and moving on. But at the end of the day it’s all an act. When you’re alone none of that seems to matter. The distractions are gone, and it’s just you alone with your heartache. To heal, you delete whoever causes us pain from our life—even if it is just temporary. There is no way to overcome the hurt when it’s available at the click of a button. The recovery process becomes easier when you don’t have constant reminders of them everywhere. While heartbreak is filled with loss and pain, it’s something that makes you so much stronger in the end. It shapes you to become a better person, to see the trials and triumphs, practicing patience and even forgiveness, forcing us to face our

emotions and learn from the pain. While it is an exhausting process, heartbreak truly does subside with time. It may never fully go away, but it’s important to remember that over time these thoughts will no longer fill you with pain. There are many ways to deal with heartbreak: you can go out with friends, take up a new hobby, throw yourself into your work and do anything that allows you to be distracted from the heartache you feel. These kinds of activities are important as they often remind you that life goes on, still filled with happiness and love. They remind us that you were okay before and will be okay again. When activities keep you in constant motion, they can turn into distractions that cause you to avoid your emotions and keep you from confronting them. To heal, it’s important to learn how to validate your emotions. Pushing your feelings away and ignoring them only leads to the inevitable: bottling it up only for it to pour over one day. Learn to face your heartbreak instead of ignoring or belittling it. Remember it’s okay to feel whatever emotions you have, whether it’s sadness, anger, nostalgia, bitterness or emptiness. Every single emotion is valid and serves as a reminder that you can survive heartbreak. Pain cannot and should not be ignored: cry when you want to and scream if you have to. Whatever you find necessary to help the healing process is valid—as long as you confront the pain. In the meantime, learn to love your own company; face the loneliness because it makes you stronger. While this is easier said than done, it truly allows you to look within yourself and pick up the broken pieces. When you’re the one that must heal your own broken heart, you empower yourself and realize just what you’re capable of accomplishing. Self-love stems from the ability to recognize your inner strengths, and what else better pinpoints that than picking yourself up at your lowest point? A study conducted by the University of Minnesota shows how self-empowerment and growth come from heartbreak. The

study investigated the possibility of positive life changes following relationship breakups. Ninety-two undergraduate students who recently experienced a breakup were examined, and researchers found that the most frequently reported positive changes were “person types of growth” (Ty Tashiro and Patricia Frazier), which reflects how individuals can improve their own characteristics, traits and beliefs following a breakup. The most commonly mentioned positive changes given by the participants included responses such as, ‘‘I am more self-confident,’’ ‘‘Through breaking up I found I can handle more on my own,’’ ‘‘I don’t always have to be the strong one,’’ and ‘‘I’ve learned what I do and don’t want in a romantic partner.’’ So while breakups are painful, they give us a new perspective on ourselves and our relationships, allowing for selfimprovement. Heartbreak encapsulates the epitome of what it means to be vulnerable. You see the downfalls of love and face the aftermath of that downfall. The process seems never-ending, leaving you worn down and questioning yourself and your relationships. You are raw and hurt in the worst possible way. Yet the vulnerability of breakups teaches you so much about ourselves. By mending your broken heart, you are able to reflect on how love affects and shapes you. So embrace the pain. Tough it out. Remind yourself that heartbreak is proof that you are capable of loving hard and surviving the pitfalls of that love. Most importantly, see heartbreak as a learning opportunity and know you are growing from this.

PUSHING YOUR EMOTIONS DOWN AND IGNORING THEM ONLY LEADS TO THE INEVITABLE OVERFLOW OF IT ALL RUSHING BACK UP ONE DAY.

PERPETUATED BY HATE, IN THE ABSENCE OF LOVE

WRITTEN BY SARAH PARK AND CARLY CHRISTENSEN DESIGNED BY KENDAL ORRANTIA The AIDS crisis is far from over in the United States, but this epidemic remains hidden from the general public. The reality of the situation is critical and, quite honestly, heartbreaking. AIDS is an epidemic perpetuated by hate in the absence of love. An epidemic fueled by stigmas, bigotry and intolerance. AIDS is no longer a death sentence thanks to antiretroviral medication (ART), a medication used to treat the virus by blocking the HIV replication cycle. But, the virus continues to affect communities at alarming rates. ART helps reduce the viral load of HIV/AIDS by slowing the lifecycle of the virus and preventing further growth. Furthermore, depending on the success and consistency of treatment patients are able to live longer lives with the disease and even become non contagious to sexual partners. The epicenter of this crisis has shifted from large metropolitan areas like New York and San Francisco to small, rural towns and cities in the South. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the Southern United States, in which 37 percent of the country’s population resides, has experienced a disproportionate HIV burden accounting for 54 percent of all new HIV diagnoses. Eight of the 10 states with the highest rates of new HIV diagnoses are in the South, but the lack of awareness among those affected is the most alarming statistic. In 2014, nearly one in five Black gay men in the South who had been diagnosed with HIV had progressed to AIDS by the time they learned of their infection. Of those suffering from the disease, African-Americans have been hit the hardest. 54 percent of new HIV cases in the South were African-Americans. Even more severe is the rate of diagnoses for Black gay and bisexual men; they account for 59 percent of all HIV diagnoses among African-Americans in the South. The problem stems from our societal flaws. The longstanding prejudices of our nation, especially in the South, have caused yet another burden on those on those who are already institutionally excluded.

“THE SOUTH’S DISTINCT CULTURAL NORMS MAKE IT AN UNCONDUCIVE ENVIRONMENT FOR PROVIDING STIGMAFREE CARE TO THOSE WITH HIV.”

People suffering from HIV in the South face multilevel discrimination from HIVrelated stigma, racism, heterosexism and anti-immigrant sentiments, not to mention the various other social and economic inequalities. The stigma associated with being a Black male who is gay or bisexual in the South drives men away from the health care system in fear of judgment and rejection. Consequently, many do not receive timely medical care, missing out on crucial treatments and eliminating their chances of suppressing the virus. In 2016, there were 15,807 people with HIV diagnoses that died in the US. Among those, 47 percent were in the South compared to only 23 percent in the Northeast, 16 percent in the West, and 11 percent in the Midwest. In small southern towns, many Black HIV-positive men may avoid treatment in local clinics in an attempt to escape the “small-town” gaze that would inflict further isolation. Many Black gay or bisexual men do not seek treatment until they are critically ill. Nearly 60 percent of people living with HIV in Alabama and Mississippi are not receiving HIV care. Compare this statistic with the national average of 25 percent and the issue becomes clear – there is a present-day HIV/ AIDS crisis that prevails overwhelmingly and disproportionately in the South. The South’s distinct cultural norms make it an unconducive environment for providing stigma-free care to those with HIV. Characterized by its largely conservative politics and deeply religious beliefs, the South often isolates minority populations. Furthermore, the South has some of the nation’s poorest health infrastructure systems, lower rates of health spending and tax bases. With fewer health facilities in the region, patients are forced to travel long distances, making treatment less accessible. What’s even more unsettling is the criminalization that has been attached to the virus. A total of 34 states in America have enacted laws that criminalize the virus through HIV specific criminal laws and/or enhancements applicable to people living with HIV. The HIV specific criminalization laws target sex nondisclosure, exposure to bodily fluids, needle-sharing, sex work, and blood, organ/semen donation. All southern states with the exception of Alabama have some form of HIV criminalization laws, some 28

RATES OF HIV DIAGNOSES PER 100,000 PEOPLE

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with additional enhancements allowing for harsher punishment. Tennessee and Florida include enhancements applicable to people living with HIV who commit an underlying sexual assault crime. Arkansas, Louisiana and Tennessee may additionally require registration as a sex offender as part of the punishment under HIV-specific laws. The laws are doing more harm than good and in most cases, citizens aren’t even aware that the laws exist in their state. A 2017 study conducted by University of Minnesota associate professor of epidemiology and community health Keith Horvath, Ph.D., found that 75 percent of men who have sex with men were unaware of their state laws. The laws increase stigma associated with the virus and discourage those living with HIV from speaking openly about the virus, even with doctors or physicians in fear that medical records could be used against them. Facing potential criminal charges and even jail time, those affected tend to stray from bringing attention to their HIV status and

“EIGHT OF THE 10 STATES WITH THE HIGHEST RATES OF NEW HIV DIAGNOSES ARE IN THE SOUTH.”

<10.0 people

10.0 - 19.9 people

20.9 - 29.9 people

seeking the medical attention they need and deserve. Additionally, these policies take away from the responsibility that we have to both our own sexual health and sexual health between partners. Government programs do not provide adequate support to the Black community, particularly in the South. In January of 2003, President George W. Bush launched the U.S. President Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR), designed to combat the global AIDS crisis, particularly in African countries where the disease was spreading quickly. President Bush dedicated $15 billion to this program, which became a large success in providing ART to several developing nations. Many people called for the implementation of a similar program in the United States, particularly addressing the crisis in the South where the number of AIDS-related deaths steadily increased. Despite this call to action, the federal government implemented no program. In a 2014 study, Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health stated that the U.S. government would need to invest almost $2.5 billion to meet the current healthcare needs of Black gay and bisexual men living with HIV/AIDS. There are some programs and policies implemented in the United States to support Americans afflicted with the disease. Low income or

uninsured individuals with HIV can seek treatment through the Ryan White HIV/ AIDS Program. This federal program, enacted after Congress passed the Ryan White Comprehensive AIDS Resources Emergency Act, provides primary care services, support services and medication to over half a million people living with HIV in the U.S. The program’s name celebrates the legacy of Ryan White, a young high school student who contracted AIDS from a blood transfusion and was expelled from school following his diagnosis. In an attempt to target all levels of community-based organizations, the program seeks to help underserved populations, like Black southern communities, by providing financial support for both medical and non-medical services. Through this effort and other campaigns such as the AIDS Drug Assistance Program (ADAP), more lowincome individuals are gaining access to the expensive ART medication necessary to decrease chances of transmission. Programs that provide funding and treatment, as well as vital services like housing, mental health counseling and medical support, help boost the patient retention rate during HIV treatment. We look toward a future with increased access to treatment as awareness is moving from large metropolitan areas, like New York City, to Southern states like Mississippi and states in between like the District of Columbia. Politicians such as District of Columbia Rep. Eleanor Holmes Norton are calling for more HIV/ AIDS educational resources for younger generations. Norton is advocating for policies that educate children about HIV/ AIDS in schools, similar to how sexual education is taught. Many patients are finding love in a growing community as gay and bisexual Black men in the South are beginning to speak out about their disease. The Black AIDS Institute is an organization that sheds light on these issues and offers a place for those with HIV/AIDS to share their stories in an effort to stop the epidemic. The Southern HIV Impact Fund, with its dozens of funding partners, also uses leadership and advocacy to address prevention, care and support disparities faced by those with HIV in the South. Here at UNC-Chapel Hill, the Institute for Global Health and Infectious Disease. These organizations do more than raise awareness; they create a safe and loving community for Black gay or bisexual men in the South — a remarkable act of love toward those most vulnerable. 30

Diamond-cut: The Tough and Shining Women of Jazz WRITTEN BY ALICIA ROBBINS DESIGNED BY EMILY CUNNINGHAM

When most people think about jazz, they envision the snoozing tunes of elevator music or the chaotic sounds that jazz performers play at concerts. Perhaps they’ve heard the cool tones of Miles Davis or the bold brass of Dizzy Gillespie — two men responsible for jumpstarting different eras of jazz. Throughout the history of jazz, men have claimed the genre’s breakthroughs. What remains noticeably absent is the impact of female musicians on jazz, especially instrumentalists. Women were commonly ridiculed for even attempting to enter the realm of jazz. Many people are aware or have at least heard of Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald, two famous female jazz singers. Even Fitzgerald, one of the greats, couldn’t find work as a jazz singer because the community considered her “too ugly” to lead a group. Most people are unaware of the innumerable great female instrumentalists of jazz history. One group called the International Sweethearts of Rhythm formed the first all-female racially integrated band and surpassed the abilities of many male swing groups performing in the same era. They helped pave the way for female instrumentalists then and now, proving what we already know—that any female artist can be just as talented as a man.

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MARY LOU WILLIAMS One of the most influential female instrumentalists of jazz history is pianist Mary Lou Williams. Although Williams never kick-started one of jazz’s many eras like Davis or Gillespie, she proved essential to the genre’s stylistic evolution. Williams taught herself to play the piano at the age of three and possessed perfect pitch. At a young age, Williams began to play with swing bands. Williams started composing and arranging music around 1930. She eventually led her own bands and became an irreplaceable player and composer for many of the jazz greats. Duke Ellington, one of the most prolific and talented male swing composers, clarinetist Benny Goodman and Bebop trumpet player Dizzy Gillespie all played some of Williams’s arrangements. Williams’s arrangements foster a diversity that reflects her successful transition from one era of jazz to the next. While Ellington played Williams’s pieces reminiscent of the swing era, Goodman played works slightly influenced by the Bebop era (1940-1955) and Gillespie played more purely Bebop tunes. Williams also participated in the Avant-garde era of jazz by playing with pianist Cecil Taylor. Avant-garde jazz extends a step beyond Bebop in terms of audience relatability. It often sounds like nothing more than chaotic madness. Eventually, during the last few years of her life, Williams ended up in Durham at Duke University. Williams clearly made her mark on the evolution of jazz, and the musical community viewed her as a valuable asset. Her legacy deserves to be celebrated. Williams’s career demonstrates the impact women can have in the music world, especially because she was a triple threat — an instrumentalist, an arranger and a composer. It can be challenging for women to partake in the world of jazz, but Williams’s involvement in all aspects of the genre serves as an inspiration for female musicians. She proves that women have historically impacted jazz and that they can continue to do so. They can be invaluable as instrumentalists, composers, arrangers and singers. 32

ESPERANZA SPALDING Esperanza Spalding, another impressive female player, is an American jazz artist from Portland, Oregon. She is not only a jazz singer, but also a bassist. Spalding taught herself to play the violin as a child and eventually learned to play the bass in high school. Earning her degree from the Berklee College of Music in three years, Spalding became a Berklee faculty member at only 20. She began to release albums featuring her sultry, gorgeous singing and carefully-crafted bass riffs in 2006. Just five years later, Spalding won the Grammy for Best New Artist, defeating the overwhelmingly popular Justin Bieber. In 2017 Spalding became the professor of the practice of Music at Harvard University. Spalding has said that as a “pretty girl” no one expected much from her. Initially, the music industry did not care how or what she played because they only viewed her as an attractive, marketable girl. But she has proved to be much more than a pretty face. Spalding writes, plays and sings her own music and lyrics, and her works are not simple pop tunes, either. Her music is reminiscent of jazz fusion players like saxophonist Wayne Shorter and pianist Herbie Hancock. In fact, Spalding has actually collaborated with Hancock and another fusion artist, Pat Metheny. Jazz 33

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fusion paints elements of traditional jazz into a new explosion of color, incorporating elements of more recent genres like rock and funk. Spalding is inspirational — she sings live as she plucks the bass, mastering the art of both vocal and instrumental stage performance. She composes and records her own complex music while overcoming the prejudice of a society that deems a woman’s talent inseparable from her appearance. But Spalding’s background is arguably her most inspiring quality. Lots of jazz musicians have elaborate stories detailing their origins in the genre. Spalding’s, though, is sweet and simple. She was home-schooled, learned an instrument, joined a nearby chamber group and went to college for music. Despite these seemingly standard origins, Spalding has a Grammy. She embodies the talent procured from years of hard work, showing young women who dedicate hours of practice to mastering challenging blues scales, or anyone at all, that music is a worthwhile pursuit. Perhaps with more strong, talented and innovative women like Spalding, women will be less afraid to leap boldly into the world of music.

TIA FULLER Tia Fuller is another modern-day female jazz instrumentalist. Coincidentally, Fuller also served as a faculty member for the Berklee School of Music and was nominated for a Grammy. She plays alto and soprano saxophone, as well as the flute. Born in Aurora, Colorado, Fuller grew up surrounded by a family of musicians. She graduated with a Masters in music, jazz pedagogy and performance from the University of Colorado, Boulder. Fuller has released multiple albums and has taught master classes at the Jazz Institute of New Jersey, the Mile High Jazz Camp, Colorado Boulder and the Stanford Jazz Workshop. Fuller even toured with Beyoncé as a saxophonist in her all-female band. In 2018, Fuller released the album “Diamond Cut,” which was nominated for a Grammy for Best Jazz Instrumental

Album. “Diamond Cut” is a sharp and clean album saturated with Fuller’s technical prowess and lush timbre. To describe the process of developing her “artistic craft,” Fuller uses the metaphor of diamonds forming under extreme heat and pressure. The term “diamond cut” refers to the formation of a diamond so that it reflects the most possible light. Like a cut diamond, Fuller wants to shine as much light as she can through both her teaching and playing. She is especially inspirational for her attentiveness to craft, as well as her dedication to playing jazz and spreading a love of the genre to others. She is a strong, talented and empowered Black woman. As an unbreakable and sparkling diamond queen, Fuller fills her listeners with liquid light and hope.

Though gender inclusion in jazz has improved with time, an imbalance in representation remains even today. At UNC-Chapel Hill during the 2019 spring semester, there are only three female students enrolled in the jazz band, which typically consists of anywhere between 10 and 20 players. A clear imbalance persists. This is not to say that the female players are any less talented than the male players; this disproportion reflects the isolation that women have experienced in jazz throughout history. Female musicians may fear rejection or seclusion from jazz bands simply for not being male. This is an issue. The fantastic female players of today deserve more recognition, which hopefully will inspire more women to pursue jazz or any other musical craft. Jazz continues to be associated with the great male instrumentalists of the

past. Women and other minorities have been denied the privilege of opportunities that lead to success because of lingering prejudices. It is because of these outdated biases that young women may be too nervous to play their first melodies on the clarinet or to belt tunes on stage in front of a packed audience. Mary Lou Williams is possibly the only female instrumentalist known today for her role in jazz’s growth as a genre. Williams’ influence reached nearly every era of jazz, and the female players after her deserve appreciation. Today, Esperanza Spalding, a bassist, singer, lyricist and composer, as well as Tia Fuller, a saxophonist, flutist and educator, continue to further Williams’ legacy. With tough and shining diamond-cut ladies as these, one can only look forward to a future of female musicians with promise and excitement. 34

PHOTOGRAPHED BY SABAH KADIR, LANDON COOPER, NASH CONSING, GABRIELLE THOMPSON DESIGNED BY CARTER FRYE

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WE ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.

CHANGING CHANGING CHANGING

WRITTEN BY PATRICK ROSEMOND | DESIGNED BY ELIZABETH BRYANT | PHOTOGRAPHED BY NASH CONSING The process of making a house into a home is similar to that of falling in love. When you first meet, things can be a little awkward. Maybe something feels a little out of place. Are things looking funky? You may see something there, but are you relying on the sparkle in their eye to hint at something more? Regardless of circumstance, in any relationship, whether it be with your best friend or your passion project, you want to see the best in that person. You see potential and know that growing together is a never-ending process that comes with a lot of life changes. For UNC junior Cameron Champion, that process of seeing such potential in something takes a unique form with his renovated shed-turned-home in the Southern Part of Heaven. A short walk from Franklin Street and buried deep in Chapel Hill’s version of the Hundred Acre Woods, Champion’s abode stands decorated in colorful prayer flags intertwined with outdoor lights, creating an ambiance that graciously welcomes summer nights with open arms and lures out a deep nostalgia for crisp fall evenings. Upon entering, there is a sense that this is a musician’s hidden retreat from

Champion’s display of both old and new album covers. Together, they form a nearperfect square shape, similar to that of a DJ’s launchpad, mixing like a fine tune with Champion’s band’s scattered instruments. A light fixture reminiscent of a ball of fire hangs motionless in the center of the room while a poster of Bob Dylan stares at Champion and his bandmates as they practice below for their first gig. Melodramatic lights line the edge of his room, bringing a sense of movement to the space. Below Champion’s lofted bed is his book shelf, a host to his assortment of gold and silver medals, relics from worldly adventures and copious books full of exploration. The objects complement the ever-growing polaroid collection to the left of the door, each one marking a friend’s visit, and the scratch-off world map across the room that adds to the home’s motif of constant change. It took Champion and his father a week under the hot summer sun to renovate the shed. To him, this experience with his father meant the world, but what has proven the most transformational in his quest to making the space a home have been the spontaneous moments, both with

himself and in the company of his friends, that have made the shed a time capsule honoring Champion’s junior year. This is where his friends come to talk; it’s where he can be alone with his thoughts; it’s where his band practices; it’s where he can dance; it’s where he can be vulnerable; it’s where his friends can be vulnerable; it’s where memories are created. As time passes, new memories will be made in the shed as it continues to play a living, breathing representation of the process of change in Champion’s life. Even though the shed appears sedentary, it’s a living, breathing ode to what once was and what lies ahead. It may be manifested more physically, with more polaroids on his wall or with another destination scratched off his world map or something special and secret, but Champion’s love for this space and the experiences that he has had will always be safe in the back of his mind, like Pooh Bear’s treehouse in the Hundred Acre Woods.

PLACES OF THE

MIND A WRITER’S INTRODUCTION WRITTEN BY ELIZABETH THOMPSON | DESIGNED BY ZOE HAMBLEY In Joan Didion’s 1968 book, “Slouching Towards Bethlehem,” there’s a sub-section composed of several different essays she had written called “Seven Places of the Mind,” where she talked about places. Whether we realize it or not, the places where we have lived and travelled define us, stick with us and often teach us lessons about love. Here are the places of my mind, and what they have taught me about life.

When I was a young girl, I used to think that New York was my country, and America was the world. The idea of something beyond the microcosm that was my life on Long Island was inconceivable. Long Island is home to good Italian food and Billy Joel—what more could you want? If you have never been to Long Island, then you don’t know how provincial and divided it can be. Long Island is a world of opposites, organization and polarization. It sticks to this tradition, and no one questions it. The Long Island Expressway serves as a natural boundary that cuts the island in half and leaves the wealthy in the North and the less privileged in the South. It has been this way since my parents grew up on Long Island, and I doubt it will ever change. Long Islanders like tradition. It gives us something to hold on to when the cold winters and skyrocketing taxes make us want to leave for good. I lived in Dix Hills, situated almost perfectly in the middle of the island, at an intersection of North Shore and South Shore, east and west. I grew up with a culture that was a combination of the wealth and entitlement from the North Shore and the grit, stubbornness and pride from the South, the city elite from the west and the locals out east. Long Island is a place where people stay for their whole lives. Maybe you work in the City for a couple years, but there is no sense of yearning to get out of that old crummy town. Long Islanders seem to love Long Island

out of default. They love the gray strip malls that cover the island and the bagel stores and Italian restaurants that are inside of them. They revel in their hour-long commute that would only take 15 minutes if the traffic weren’t so bad. The general consensus seems to be that it’s expensive and noisy, and people are rude, but it’s better than anywhere else. In this case, love is more of an assumption than a choice, and by leaving Long Island, I started to realize that I didn’t belong there. Long Island is the home to good Italian food and Billy Joel, but it is old and tired just like the people who live there. It is the home to “real life,” and a constant daily grind that seems to bring you nowhere but the same places. Time may pass on Long Island, but the same shopping centers are filled with the same pizzerias, nail salons, Chinese restaurants, barbershops and drycleaners. The yacht clubs on the bay are still there, but they have lost their glamour—as have many things on Long Island that were new 80 years ago. And yet my mind still wanders to Long Island because it is home, and home is our first love the same way our parents are. It is our first introduction to what love and life are, but it is also often our first disenchantment the moment we realize that the world does not stop at the boundary between home and real life.

LONG ISLAND, NY

WHERE THE HEART IS

River valley civilizations were the foundation of the ancient world—rivers meant life. For my father, the river means an escape. In just two and a half hours, he can leave his house in the cramped chaos of Long Island and go into the hills of the Catskills, on the foot of the Delaware River, to a small town called Callicoon. Callicoon barely has phone service, much less the stresses of city life, so he can leave everything for the serenity of nature. This has been the love of his middle age, his solace. And there is nothing he wanted more than for the rest of my family to share in that. The idea of a small town is somewhat foreign to me. I grew up in suburban Hell for most of my life and then moved to a college town, so when I go to Callicoon it seems a cacophony of fate that we should both exist in the same time and place. It is hard for me to put aside my suburban prejudices, but they never go away long enough for me to clearly see how I feel about Callicoon and life on the river. Callicoon is a town of change and up-

and-coming. Due to its close proximity to New York City, it is a unique combination of retired city-slickers and locals who have barely left the state. The river hosted a rich market years ago, when upstate New York used to be a tourist destination, before flights got cheaper and city-goers started choosing a Disney World vacation instead. Now, exhausted hipsters from the city are coming to the river to live—to the dismay of the locals who want to reject these intruders but can’t. Even though Callicoon shudders at the thoughts of visitors, it is the summers on the Delaware that keep it alive. Its relationship with the Delaware is parasitic, and even though the river systematically floods, tearing apart the homes of those who do not have the money to rebuild them, the natives stay, often to their own detriment. The Callicoon natives regard the town with an intense, almost unwarranted sense of loyalty, and that’s what scares me about this small town on the river: their commitment.

CALLICOON, NY

ON THE RIVER

During my last two years of high school, I had a creased brochure of Georgetown University haphazardly pinned up on my bedroom wall. I called it motivation, but it was really a form of self-torture I had imposed on myself as a reflection of the holy trinity of firsts—my first toxic relationship, my first love and my first heartbreak. I was in love with Georgetown the same way you love a person. I convinced myself that it was not just the perfect school for me, but the perfect future, so I worked tirelessly on grooming myself to be a perfect candidate. I stared at that brochure when it was 3 a.m. and I was still doing my homework. I was convinced there was nowhere else I could be happy, and I would

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

have done anything, including selling my soul, to get in there. My relationship with Georgetown was a one-sided one. I gave everything to it, and it chewed me up and spit me out whole, but I kept coming back. My love was an obsession, and each half-hearted rejection was just inspiration to work harder, to do more, to be better. I was first deferred, then wait-listed and finally rejected the summer before I was to start at the UNC-Chapel Hill in the fall. “The dream is over,” I remember thinking to myself. I wish I could go back and tell myself that any dream that is dependent on something or someone who doesn’t want you is not a dream at all.

GEORGETOWN, WASHINGTON D.C.

WHERE THE HEART BREAKS

I like to say that my heart brought me to Mannheim, but it was in Mannheim where my heart and myself were found. You probably haven’t heard about Mannheim. It’s an ugly, industrial city just a 30 minute train-ride south of Frankfurt. Most of it was bombed to the ground during World War II, so it is mostly composed of stark post-war architecture that carries with it something resembling a great sadness. There is a saying in Mannheim that you cry twice there. You cry when you get there because the city is so ugly, and you cry when you leave because you have somehow learned to love this ugly city and the people who live there. I cried on my first day because I had just arrived in Germany, really alone for the first time in my life for the next five months of my study abroad experience. I cried because it was hot, I couldn’t find my apartment and Germans don’t believe in air conditioning. I was stuck there for the entire fall, and it already felt like the worst mistake I had ever made. In Mannheim, I learned important life

lessons. I realized that it is dangerously possible to up and leave everything at home and move somewhere else for a fresh start, and ugly cities are the best places to make lifelong friends. I learned that I don’t like Germans—or at least their coldness and how condescending they can be—and you should really pay attention to that announcement the conductor is making on the train because chances are, it’s important. I cried when I left Mannheim because I left as a different person than the scared, lonely girl who first arrived. I conquered Germany alone, but not lonely. And it was because of this aloneness that I was able to grow and cultivate myself, because being alone is not the same as loneliness. In Mannheim, I learned to love my solitude and take comfort in it, and I was able to give more of myself to others in return because I was not looking for anything from them. I cried when I left Mannheim because I was not the same. It is presumptuous to say I had learned to love myself since that is a journey in itself, but for the first time in a long time, I had trust in myself.

MANNHEIM, GERMANY

YOU CRY WHEN YOU GET THERE, AND YOU CRY WHEN YOU LEAVE

REQUIEM DESIGNED BY ANNA BRADSHER | PHOTOGRAPHED BY GABRIELLE THOMPSON, NASH CONSING, SABAH KADIR

My grandmother gave me this necklace when I was born, and she added a small pearl onto it for every “significant event” in my life before she died (the day I was born, my first Christmas and my first birthday). She died when I was one and a half, but I have worn this necklace every day since my dad allowed me to have it when I was 13. The reason why the necklace and my grandmother are so special to me is because my grandmother was so kind and loving, and she left such a lasting legacy on everyone around her. I remember growing up, random people from my town would come up to me and say, “Are you Mary Susan’s granddaughter? You’re so lucky that she is your grandmother,” and then they wold proceed to tell me a story about her. My grandmother went to UNC-Chapel Hill where she joined Pi Beta Phi (the sorority that I am in now), and then after graduation she met my grandfather. They got married, and soon after my grandfather went to fight in World War II. My grandmother had four children, one of them being my dad, but her second child died when he was 2 years old. She became an English teacher at Orange High School in Hillsborough, North Carolina, which is the same high school I attended. She taught English for at least 30 years, and was known to be a tough teacher and a lover of Shakespeare. However, she was also everyone’s favorite teacher, which is something that I often heard from people in my town who remembered her well or who were friends with her. My grandmother was also known to be a fashionista. She loved to shop and was often seen wearing stylish hats and wild, colorful jackets. Wearing this necklace and being reminded of my grandmother reminds me that in my life I want to be as loving, courageous and stylish as she was. BLAIR GATTIS

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

This shirt used to belong to my dad in his college days. He was really proud of his alma mater and cared a lot about his education. It means a lot to me because my dad passed away when I was 13 so he didn’t get to see me go to college, but I know he would be so proud of me for taking his lessons and getting an education. A lot of what i’ve accomplished has been a product of his positive influence on me and his affirmations growing up. He constantly reminded me that I was smart, capable and one-of-a-kind. It’s funny to me that the T-shirt fits me because my dad was such a small guy but he had a really big personality and an even bigger heart. ELLIE GLASS

Ever since I was a little kid, I have worn a Buddha around my neck. Sometimes when the monks came or when we traveled to Thailand, my dad would get me a new Buddha. On my first trip to Thailand I got to pick out my own Buddha. I kept it in a jewelry box for a long time until I found the right necklace to put it on. When I was in high school my mom gifted me a gold locket. It’s somewhat unclear where the locket came from or how it got to me, but we think it came from my grandmother (who I am named after) as it was one of her aunt’s. My mother’s great aunt Mary survived a concentration camp in Poland during the Holocaust. The necklace belonged to her. It got passed on to my grandmother Norma and on to my mom. It’s a simple gold locket with obvious wear but nonetheless still just as special. I have worn it everyday since I got it. Going through my jewelry one day, I found the Buddha I had picked out in Thailand with my dad’s family. I decided to add it to the chain with the gold locket. The two don’t exactly match, but it works. The golds are different, but so are the two families that make me, me. I hardly ever take the necklace off, I feel naked without it. It is a constant reminder of who I am and where I come from. It reminds me of my dad, who grew up in rural Thailand and made everything he has from almost nothing. And it reminds me of my mom and all the hardship her family endured to make a wonderful life for all future generations. NORMA TECHARUKPONG

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

My grandma made this pillow for me a long time ago, and I’ve had it for as long as I can remember being on this planet. I had my first one until like middle school, and it was so old and tattered that my grandma remade it in my favorite color instead of its original pinkish color. Everywhere I have ever been or any big milestone in my life, the pillow has gone with me. It’s been through preschool, my awkward skatergirl middle school phase, the tears of losing my dad unexpectedly in high school, to my first real night away from home in college, on most of my family vacations and abroad to Italy. She was supposed to be making me a third one, but unfortunately she passed away before she finished making it for me for Christmas this past year. She taught me to sew and has the pattern hand drawn out, so I plan to make an attempt to make it for myself once I finish school. I plan to continue the tradition of making my kids and grandkids pillows to carry with them through life for comfort. It’s my forever piece of home and a constant reminder that grandma is always there to comfort me even if she isn’t here physically. A lot of people asked my grandma throughout her life to make or sew them things because she spent her life working as a home economics agent for North Carolina for over 35 years. So, it’s even more fitting that I have something she handmade and sewed by hand because that’s what she loved to help others in life do as well. LAUREN WILKINSON

WRITTEN BY MARGARET CULLUM | DESIGNED BY BRI MERRIGAN

When people think about love, sex work may not immediately come to mind. While it’s not entirely based on the concept of love, sex work is deeply rooted in intimacy, vulnerability and acceptance. Activists have been fighting for legitimacy and decriminalization of sex work for decades, but there is still a lot of stigma surrounding the industry. The term ‘sex work’ encompasses many different jobs, both legal and illegal. Sex workers are just like everyone else with regular jobs, except they get to mix business with pleasure. Sophie Saint Thomas is a professional sex writer who has been featured in publications such as Allure magazine, Playboy and Forbes. Saint Thomas said that sex work can include a range of jobs including strippers, professional dominants (or pro-dommes), adult film actors, escorts, nude models, erotic massage therapists and more. Generally, it’s up to the workers’ discretion whether they consider themselves a sex worker. Saint Thomas explained that it’s becoming more common for workers who don’t actually have sex with their clients, like pro-dommes, to still call themselves sex workers. “Neither strippers nor pro-dommes will have sex with their clients,” she said.“They more and more consider themselves sex workers because there’s an undeniable element of sexual gratification that is part of the job.” Although not a sex worker herself, but someone closely affiliated with the industry, Saint Thomas has observed what she considers an “unfair hierarchy” in the industry; a number of sex workers all provide similar services, but because these occupations may classify themselves with different titles, some are considered more appropriate than others. Websites that provide the setups, such as SeekingArrangement, are intentionally created to provide protective loopholes in regards to this. So instead of the word ‘escort,’ they’ll choose ‘sugar baby’ instead. “For instance, someone who calls themselves a sugar baby and has a sugar daddy, and is paid through gifts or through living arrangements, may be hesitant to

MANY PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME EMPATHIZING WITH SEX WORKERS BECAUSE THEY ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH WHAT SEX WORK TRULY IS, OR THEY CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WOULD CHOOSE THIS PROFESSION. call themselves a sex worker,” Saint Thomas said. “Where other escorts will be like, ‘What you’re doing isn’t really any different than I’m doing.’” Saint Thomas even acknowledged that her privilege as a sex writer for esteemed publications keeps her from being known specifically as a sex worker because of the companies’ positive reputations. “I mean, it helps that I’m a cis-white woman, but yeah, I do think a lot about—if I’m testing a sex toy and then writing about it, I wonder how different that is than a cam girl using a sex toy as people watch,” she said. “I love my job,” Saint Thomas continued, “and I’m incredibly grateful for it, but I wish that sex workers were treated with the same respect because it’s not a profession that’s ever going to go away.” Though the types of relationships between sex workers and clients vary, many have a very intimate connection. Some sex workers even describe their work as a kind of therapy for people who may not be able to form these connections elsewhere. “I know that whether you’re a stripper, or a cam girl, or a pro-domme, or an escort, or a sugar baby, a lot of these relationships with clients can 59

COULTURE MAGAZINE • THE LOVE ISSUE

last for a really long time,” Saint Thomas said. “Emotional connections are formed, and when they end, it can be emotionally painful.” Despite the occasional reluctance to embrace the label of sex worker, Saint Thomas said she’s recently observed a general increase in support throughout the sex work community. “A trend as a sex writer who writes about the subject is that I’ve noticed that more and more people of all these various trades have become comfortable saying ‘I am a sex worker.’” Saint Thomas attributes this change to the introduction of SESTA-FOSTA. SESTA (Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act) and FOSTA (Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act) were two separate bills that were combined to create the Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act of 2017, or SESTAFOSTA. It was signed into law in April 2018. SESTA-FOSTA prohibits websites from displaying content with the intent to “promote or facilitate the prostitution of another person.” However, it has received huge amounts of backlash from the sex work community. Its critics argue that the bill makes it more dangerous for legal sex workers to operate, and that it violates the First Amendment.

“The bill is intentionally incredibly vague, and despite [being] labeled an anti-sex trafficking bill, all it does is hold websites accountable for any content posted by anyone,” she said. “So, for instance, the creators of Backpage [a popular website shut down after SESTA-FOSTA because it helped sex workers promote their services] are all facing up to 10 years in federal prison because people have used their website to post ads.” Saint Thomas said that SESTA-FOSTA is “specifically being wielded against sex workers” and its consequences are especially hard on workers from marginalized communities, who use free websites to advertise their services. “Just to be very blunt about it, a Black trans woman is going to have a harder time making money than a white cis woman,” Saint Thomas said. “Since [these sites] have been shutting down, [these workers] are actually going back to street sex work, where it is really dangerous.” The law also prevents sex workers from being able to share lists of clients who are safe to work with, and of clients who are abusive. Beyond its effects on the sex work industry, many believe SESTA-FOSTA affects the whole country by unconstitutionally restricting freedom of expression. The Electronic Frontier Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to “defending digital privacy, free speech, and innovation,” is representing a number of plaintiffs challenging the U.S. government over SESTA-FOSTA in the case Woodhull Freedom Foundation et al. v. United States. The plaintiffs include the human rights organizations Woodhull Freedom Foundation and Human Rights Watch, nonprofit and digital library The Internet Archive, licensed massage therapist Eric Koszyck and sex workers’ rights activist Alex Andrews. They argue that SESTA-FOSTA violates the First Amendment by targeting specific kinds of speech (“including expressing certain viewpoints that advocate for decriminalization of sex work”) and that it is not narrowly tailored. They also argue the the law is overly vague and doesn’t explicitly define what it prohibits, violating the Fifth Amendment’s due process clause. The original lawsuit was filed in June 2018 but was dismissed by a federal court in September. They filed for an appeal in February 2019. Many people have a hard time empathizing with sex workers because they’re unfamiliar with what sex work truly is, or they can’t understand why anyone would choose this profession. That’s why I spoke to Mandy, a student at UNC-Chapel Hill who has been a stripper since she was 18.

Even though she asked to be identified only as Mandy, her stage name, she made it clear that this anonymity doesn’t come from a place of shame; it’s simply because her father still doesn’t know she is a stripper, and she’s not ready for him to find out yet. Mandy met me for a late brunch the day after her first night dancing at a new club. As she sipped her iced coffee, she told me all about why she started stripping, her favorite parts of the job and some of her funniest stories. “I feel like it’s like the typical story,” she said of how she got started. “Me and my friend were both having money problems. We were broke college kids. We couldn’t even afford to eat Chipotle once a week. That’s how broke we were!” Mandy, now 20 years old, is from a small town in New Jersey. Before attending UNC-CH, she went to New York University for two years. After a couple of her friends tried dancing at the club and liked it, Mandy decided she’d give it a shot. She started at a club called Lace in Wayne, New Jersey, and after her first time, she was hooked. “It’s fun, and also you kind of get addicted to the income, as weird as that sounds,” she said. “You just get accustomed to like, having a certain amount of money always, and so you just keep doing it because you’re like, ‘I need more money.’” She said most of her income comes from dancing, and that dancers almost always get to keep all of the tips they make dancing. Dancers also have the option to do private rooms with customers, in which they can make more, but she said most clubs take a cut of money from rooms. “Generally, you’re only recognized as an independent contractor,” she said. “Usually when you go into a club, you’ll sign a contract saying, basically, the club is not responsible if you, like, fall and break your face if you fall off the stage. They don’t have healthcare, nothing like that. So everything that you make is from dances and rooms.” Even though Mandy really enjoyed her time dancing in New Jersey, her club wasn’t far from where her dad lived and she was afraid he would find out. “That was a constant anxiety for me, and that’s part of the reasons why I switched clubs,” she said. Mandy decided to leave the club in New Jersey and move to one in New York City. She ended up at Sapphire 39 in Midtown Manhattan. Once she was in New York full time, Mandy established a routine that balanced school and work. She only worked weekends, which included Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Describing her day-to-day routine, Mandy said she would “go to class, eat, study. Normal school

things. And then 8 o’clock rolls around. If you’re broke and you need money and you’re done with your work, then yeah, you just go to work.” Mandy said that she felt really lucky with her experience at Sapphire 39, and she always felt safe and comfortable. But, eventually, being in New York took a toll on her mental health. “NYU was my dream school for as long as I can remember. I was like ‘It’s gonna be like Gossip Girl, like Sex and the City! I’m gonna be like Carrie and find my Mr. Big! Um, it was not like that,” she said with a laugh. “I was very depressed...It didn’t feel like [the city] was fostering an environment of like, ‘I’m going to grow better as a person.’ If anything, I feel like it was just like making me a worse person, in a sense.” Mandy explained that being a stripper is incredibly emotionally taxing because of the constant confidence and strong mental health required. So, she decided to take some time off to focus on herself. “It does take a toll on you emotionally, I will say,” she said. “Taking your clothes off every night in front of all these random men, and then having them touch you and say things to you and living out their fantasies in the club with you, it does-it’s very emotional. And last year, I think I was just in a really bad place, too, and so I couldn’t handle going back to work I don’t think.” That’s when she decided she needed a change. Although she didn’t enjoy New York City anymore, she loved her time at NYU. She wanted to go somewhere just as academically rigorous, so she transferred to UNC-CH to pursue a degree in advertising and public relations. When Mandy first moved to North Carolina, she didn’t plan on stripping again. “I made a promise to Jesus,” she said with a

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big laugh, “and I was like, ‘Jesus, if I get into UNC, I will never, ever strip again, ever in my life.’ So it really was not my intention, but I’ve just been really tight on money lately.” In addition to dancing at a club in Durham, Mandy picked up a waitressing job at a local taco restaurant. Despite her hesitation to start dancing again, she said that since she’s in a much better place now with her mental health, she has no problems with it. “Now I’m in a better place, and I’m more confident, and I’m feeling good again. I think that I’m back to being me.” Mandy said she hopes that by being open about sex work, some of the stigma surrounding it will be broken down. “I think that one misconception that people have the most is that we’re all drug addicts, or stupid and like—no. We’re not,” she said. “A lot of women have kids that they can’t support on their teaching salary. A lot of girls are putting themselves through school, or trying to buy themselves a car, or just got out of a bad relationship and don’t have money to get away from their boyfriend. So it’s stuff like that, I think. That’s what bothers me.” Mandy said one of the other common responses she gets that bothers her is when people tell her things like she’s “too smart” or “too pretty” to be in that line of work. But those kinds of comments only build her confidence. “I’m like, ‘I am beautiful. I am smart. And that’s why I am doing this--to take advantage of that.’” Mandy is smart, hardworking and sure of herself. She is a proud sex worker, and she hopes that people will understand and be more accepting of sex workers of all kinds.

MAKE YOUR OWN LOVE STORY

PHOTOGRAPHED BY GABRIELLE THOMPSON, HELEN HONG, LANDON COOPER | MODELED BY ELIZABETH TERESITA, KATHRYN BROWN DESIGNED BY EMILY CUNNINGHAM

COULTURE MAGAZINE â&#x20AC;¢ THE LOVE ISSUE

DRESSES FROM REVOLVE

COULTURE MAGAZINE â&#x20AC;¢ THE LOVE ISSUE

GIRL IN RED WRITTEN BY JODIE LONDONO | DESIGNED BY KAKI MCNEEL

Marie Ulven, releasing under the name Girl in Red, produces rhythmic sound that encapsulates the unadulterated and bittersweet tinge of young love. Her most recent album, “chapter 1,” released Sept. 14, 2018, follows Ulven’s experiences with love and sexual identity. As a young lesbian woman, Ulven delves into the physical and emotional aspects of LGBTQ+ relationships. Ulven started Girl in Red in September of 2017, steadily releasing songs through Bandcamp, Soundcloud, YouTube and Spotify. Her discography includes: “girls,” “we fell in love in october” and “summer depression.” A large portion of her work relies on the implicit emotions connected to young love. Songs like “i wanna be your girlfriend” and “girls” explore Ulven’s sincere love of and attraction to women. She combats the offensive misrepresentations of female sexuality, focusing on the ways she has experienced love throughout her life. Ulven makes love tangible, imparting the listener with warmth and closeness. She released a song on Jan. 23, 2019, called “watch you sleep,” a simple song highlighting the beauty and intimacy of hours spent asleep. Ulven springs from the bedroomacoustic craze spearheaded by artists such as Clairo, Beabadoobee and Cavetown. Bedroom sound originates from amateur singer-songwriter’s producing their music without professional help, opening the door for young artists of our generation, like Ulven, to share their views on love, gender, sexuality and mental health without needing a studio. These young singer-songwriters address the issues and opinions of the modern generation, of an age characterized by new freedoms and social identities. Her calming, bedroom-produced tunes highlight the LGBTQ+ teen experience.

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She intermingles the concepts of love and sexuality in a way that is relatable to the listener. Her sound is familiar. It reminds us of the times we’ve laid on a friend’s floor, face lit with the soft glow of cheap string lights, listening to the strum of a ukulele or guitar. She transports the listener into a realm of understanding, free of judgment, voicing the truths of modern youth. Ulven validates the experiences young adults face with love, desire and attraction across all sexualities.

ULVEN VALIDATES THE EXPERIENCES YOUNG ADULTS FACE WITH LOVE, DESIRE AND ATTRACTION ACROSS ALL SEXUALITIES Ulven represents the way that sexuality is both relevant and irrelevant in today’s culture. Her music shows that LGBTQ+ relationships may differ in dynamics from heteronormative relationships, but at their core, a relationship is just a relationship. Sexuality is not an equation begging to be solved. Sexuality does not hinder the bounds of love. Ulven’s sexuality molds her experiences but is only a fraction of what makes her music relatable. Girl in Red conveys the feeling of being a young adult and trying to hold onto the preciousness of innocence, the simplicity of love and the sting of youth. Ulven establishes that at its core LGBTQ+ relationships hold the same emotional affinities as straight relationships.

WRITTEN BY ELIZABETH JOHNSON | DESIGNED BY KAKI MCNEEL Pride grew from the seeds of protest. At the end of June 1969, the New York Police Department raided Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in Greenwich Village. Such raids were common at the time, and bar patrons grew angry at this suppression. Angry activists and passersby gathered outside Stonewall Inn as police made arrests; when an officer struck a bar patron, the crowd erupted. This conflict sparked three days of rioting in the Village as people fought for their right to love, catalyzing the gay rights movement. On June 26, 2015, gay marriage was legalized in all 50 states. Now, 50 years after the Stonewall riots, Pride parades bring millions of people together each year. The country came far in the name of equality, but this progress easily overshadows the rights that have yet to be won. Corporations now vie for leading parade floats and adorn their products in all the colors of the rainbow, and many people see celebration as synonymous with complacency. Countless businesses thrive on the publicity of Pride, advertising their colorful inclusivity, but there is an ongoing debate about the sincerity of this alliance. While many businesses support the LGBTQ+ community on paper, publicity without action is insufficient. The rise of Pride — “Pride-themed” apparel, accessories, etc. — in the consumer market brought attention to the LGBTQ+ community. However, many argue that capitalism tends to reduce Pride to an aesthetic statement and celebration, overlooking the movement’s roots in rebellion.

Nike, for instance, recently received criticism for its use of LGBTQ+ symbols in its annual Pride collection, BETRUE. The 2018 BETRUE line included a shoe featuring a pink triangle, a symbol used to identify gay men during the Holocaust. LGBTQ+ advocacy groups reclaimed the pink triangle as a symbol of activism and alliance in the 1970s and 1980s. One of these groups, the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (active to this day), felt that Nike was exploiting the LGBTQ+ community by using the emblem for profit. Similar grassroots movements

THE COUNTRY CAME FAR IN THE NAME OF EQUALITY, BUT THIS PROGRESS EASILY OVERSHADOWS THE RIGHTS THAT HAVE YET TO BE WON.

example, the Reclaim Pride Coalition in New York City plans to hold a Queer Liberation March in June 2019. “The March recognizes the powerful legacy of the Stonewall Rebellion by highlighting the most marginalized members of our community, as we commit to addressing the ongoing struggles that we face,” states the organization’s website. This is a decade of milestones for the LGBTQ+ community with a recordbreaking number of LGBTQ+ politicians elected in the 2018 midterms. However, not all alliances are created equally, and corporate sponsorship can make it easy to look away from the injustices that still persist. Around the world, regardless of how far society evolved, LGBTQ+ people still fight for equal rights and even for their lives. Human Rights Watch, a research and advocacy group in New York City, referenced several laws that prevent LGBTQ+ people from taking action against workplace or religious discrimination. In a more overt form of suppression, the Trump administration recently placed new restrictions on transgender people in the military. Equality came a long way, but equality has much farther to go. Consumers of corporate pride must be mindful of the line between alliance and appropriation, remembering and respecting the legacy of those who fought for freedom before them.

across the globe aim to reinstate Pride as the activism it once was, free from the influence of a capitalist agenda. For

WITH HEARTBREAK COACH CLAIRE BYRNE WRITTEN BY CASSANDRA CASSIDY DESIGNED BY MINGXUAN SHEN In pop culture and life in general, people paint love, relationships, and heartbreak as completely abstract ideas that cannot be defined or questions that cannot be answered. We are puzzled when someone doesn’t text us back, when someone cuts things off out of the blue, or when something doesn’t work out even though all the boxes are checked. It has no rhyme or reason, we say. Heartbreak just is. Claire Byrne spent most of her adult life moving between New York City and Los Angeles. She found herself lost in romantic relationships, and one specifically with an abusive narcissist. “There was gaslighting and smearcampaigning, and I thought I was going crazy, which made me act crazy,” said Byrne. “Everything in me knew something was wrong.” Byrne, already in therapy, sought help that was more action-based and transformative. “Therapy is very much about healing your past, but I was really still stuck on how do I transform my beliefs about myself and about my past.” Byrne worked on her relationship with herself, and the growth that she experienced by shifting inward led her to help others do this work by becoming a life coach. Now approaching her three-year mark as a life coach, Byrne recently shifted her focus to specialize in heartbreak and healing.

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WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT WRITTEN BY RUTH SAMUEL | DESIGNED BY SHEPHARD SULLIVAN Our generation might be finding unique avenues to pursue love and romance, but we are still adhering to eurocentric and hypermasculine norms. According to user data and statistics from dating apps such as OkCupid and Tinder, Black women and Asian men are considered the most undesirable suitors. When Vanity Fair published an article in November 2018 coddling conservative white women on UNC-Chapel Hill’s campus, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes when an interviewee claimed it was difficult for her to date as a Republican woman here. Ideology changes and evolves, but my Blackness remains the same. The dating struggle is exacerbated even more for me as a straight, cisgender Black woman at UNC-CH, which is a predominantly white institution that is approximately 60 percent female and 40 percent male. Furthermore, according to a 2017 article from the Daily Tar Heel, UNCCH has not managed to enroll more than 125 Black men in a new class since 2009. Though OkCupid’s study only analyzed racial attitudes in heterosexual

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relationships, I imagine that this struggle is magnified in LGBTQ+ spaces on campus as well. According to the article that OkCupid published in 2014, Black women and Asian men consistently received low QuickMatch Scores, meaning that when rated for attraction by other racial groups, they scored in the negative percentiles.

AS A BLACK WOMAN, I WALK A FINE LINE BETWEEN BEING HYPERSEXUALIZED AND FETISHIZED OR BEING SEEN AS ANGRY AND DOMINEERING Christian Rudder, co-founder and former president of OkCupid, delved deeper into this and a year later authored a novel called “Dataclysm: Love, Sex, Race, and Identity — What Our Online Lives Tell

Us about Our Offline Selves.” In January 2018, NPR covered this issue and the TV show “Grownish” later dedicated an entire episode to it. I didn’t need a book to tell me what I already knew. While it was partially affirming to understand why the prospect of dating was essentially nonexistent at the predominantly white private schools I attended, it also sucked. I was well aware that some form of systemic racism contributed to the general bias that eurocentric features are more attractive than mine. As early as sixth grade, I was told by a white, male classmate that his parents would not allow him to date Black girls because we are “less attractive” and “uncivilized.” As a Black woman, I walk a fine line between being hypersexualized and fetishized or being seen as angry and domineering — the latter of which are traits society typically associated with men. It wasn’t until college that I learned about the other side of this experience. Carolina Sophomore Sean Nguyen, a Vietnamese American, and I have been

engaged in conversation about this since we were first-year students studying together in Horton Residence Hall. “After watching Crazy Rich Asians, [a friend] told me that the scene where Henry Golding is returning from the shower without his shirt on was the first time he’d ever seen an Asian man’s body be sexualized in Hollywood,” Nguyen said. “After he pointed that out, I realized that was true for me too.” The supposed reason why Asian men receive the least amount of “right swipes” is because of their inability to fit the hypermasculine mold that our society puts on a pedestal. Whether it be racist jokes about genitalia size or the lack of diverse media portrayal of Asian men, these are all factors that contribute to a hegemonic system. Although we may have “advanced” culturally and technologically as a society, there are still several strides to go. We must ask ourselves: Does love have anything to do with my attraction to this person, or have I only been conditioned to think it does?

IT’S ALL THE SAME THING.

WRITTEN BY GABBY BASORA DESIGNED BY KAKI MCNEEL

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Despite the endless differences in our society, the experience of love is present across every culture. Love is both universal and multidimensional, but its expression is different depending on whom you ask. Our diverse cultural backgrounds cultivate experiences unique from each other, highlighting a variety of forms and manifestations of love. “I think that love is expressed so differently by other people. It is something that has been happening for centuries,” UNC-Chapel Hill graduate student Katherine Sosa said. In Sosa’s family, love meant sharing a family dinner and asking each other how the day went. Love consisted of little actions, such as picking up freshly-baked goods from Guglhupf Bakery every Saturday, and small gestures to make sure she was comfortable, like adjusting the thermostat when she was home. “My family shows me they love me in such a small gesture,” Sosa said. “By putting me first in that way.” Sosa drew attention to the ways in which her Latina identity influenced how she has experienced love. “Our music expresses so much love. It can be any genre, and I can feel love from the very start of a song,” Sosa said. “Bachata for instance … [we can] talk about how much love is expressed and felt.” For Sosa, love can be identified in every area of Latino culture, from the music to the way loved ones are greeted with a hug and a kiss. Jorge Monteagudo, a 21-yearold student and Cuban immigrant, described how he had to adjust from the Cuban ways of showing affection to those here. Monteagudo first noticed the role of culture in expressions of love in his isolation from Cuban culture as soon as he arrived in the U.S. “In Cuba, between families, we were a lot more physically affectionate than I’ve seen people here. Even amongst friends, greetings are different; the way we refer to each other, the nicknames we give to each other (are) less intimate here,” Monteagudo said. “Every time I go back to Cuba I see a big difference. I become more comfortable and more prone to explicitly showing what I am feeling.”

Expressions of love within cultures are powerful in the ways they link people together. People identify with others who love the same way that they do. The ways in which we love become a part of our personal identities, and contribute to our collective, cultural identity. While love is a universal emotion, when we experience it in a way we are familiar with, we feel at home. How one understands love and its role in building identity extends far beyond its own context, beyond culture and pervades throughout all aspects of life. For junior public policy and statistics major Cameron Yap, the differences between Western expressions of love and Asian expressions of love became clear at an early age. As a child, Yap noticed a stark contrast between how his parents showed him affection and those of his peers who were raised with Western ideals. “A lot of their parents were a lot more physically and verbally affectionate, whereas the parent-child relationship in Asian culture is a lot more hierarchical and less expressive,” Yap said. “Love was expressed in my home primarily by acts of service. I think the number one thing an Asian parent does to show that they care is set you up to succeed. Asian culture is so centered around merit, hard work and hierarchy.” For Yap’s parents, love was a way to express their desires for his success and wellbeing, and to further his aspirations. Expressions of love were not singular in the sense that love was used to bring about collective success, rather than being individually driven. “That’s why Asian parents care so much about their child’s success; their success represents the entire family’s,” Yap said. “Sometimes, this means they have to make decisions for their child that their child might not like.” For Yap, love was less of a form of verbal communication, and while it may have come off as very disciplinary or tough, it came from a place of genuine concern. “Early in my life, they were extremely tough on me and shielded me from activities or people they felt would not help my success,” Yap said. “Now, as I get older though, my

parents have found a balance and know how to let me handle what I can myself.” He says that in the same manner he has become more appreciative of his parents. Conversely, they have become more and more trustworthy of him and can confide in his decisions. Malin Curry, co-chair of the Multicultural Affairs & Diversity Outreach committee of student government at UNC-CH, stressed the importance that verbal communication of love held in his home. “Love was expressed verbally in my home. Acts of service were rare unless it was a holiday,” Curry said. “Whenever I left home, my parents would always make sure to tell me that they loved me.” In addition, Curry noted the influence of culture on love and how it was reflected in both his home and the African-American community. “Culture does have a part in how love is expressed. This is true especially for African Americans, as a big part of family for us is communicating and expressing love by verbalizing it.” Cee Cee Huffman, a junior at UNC-CH, has observed the differences between love in her own life, as well. “I have seen a lot of other families who express love more traditionally in physical or verbal ways,” Huffman said. “But like I said, in my family love is not something that we express but rather that we show.” Huffman’s family expresses love in a less conventional, more actionoriented form. “My mom and I do a lot of things for each other,” Huffman said. “We’re not all that affectionate, but we definitely do things to help each other out, like cleaning up the living room for each other or making dinner for each other. Just small things that can help make each other’s days easier.” Differences aside, love has a common thread. How we share and receive love has a role in building our identities and stems from our cultural experiences. Unique as we may be, love is central to who we are.

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