RELATIONSHIPS
By Carrie Fleetwood B.A., M.Ed., R.P., O.A.M.H.P.
relationships are rarely easy.
Each partner brings an array of hopes, realities, disappointments, challenges, rewards, and successes to the table. And we all have expectations we place on ourselves and on our partners. Ideally, we work as a team to meet those expectations but all too often, we fail miserably. Things get particularly challenging when one partner is gone half the month or more, isn’t home for the frequent small or occasional big decisions, and can have a set of expectations that might be realistic at work, but not at home. Sound familiar? First responders work in intense environments with little to no margin for error, and where repetition, practice, and perfection are key to the best outcome. While dealing in absolutes is expected at work, it can become a detriment to home life. Why is it so hard for a first responder to let the small things go at home – knowing well enough that perfectionistic behaviour is a relationship-killer? When you get home from work, do you ever catch yourself on the edge of anger at the sight of a sink full of dishes? Try as you might, does the edge in your voice still sneak out? Does a pile of laundry and a mess of toys make you feel frustrated and disappointed? Surely your partner had the time, or should have made the time to clean. You know you would have! Why is there such a feeling of disappointment when our expectations aren’t met? Rest easy – you’re not alone. Let’s break down these reactions to some basics that every first responder couple should understand.
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CRAC KYL MAGAZ I N E
