You’re Negative

These include: personal insults; invading someone else’s personal territory; uninvited physical contact; threats and intimidation, both verbal and nonverbal; sarcastic jokes and teasing used to deliver insults; withering emails; status slaps on social media intended to humiliate the victim; public shaming or status degradation rituals; rude interruptions; two-faced attacks; dirty looks; and treating people as if they are invisible.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR WORKPLACE?

Now, think of your own workplace. Really think. Is it possible you have one or two assholes kicking around?

If so, it's not all bad, Sutton insists. Steve Jobs of Apple was notoriously difficult but went on to lead a global technology empire. People who knew him suggested that he was one of the most imaginative, decisive, and persuasive people they'd ever met. Sutton suggests that it's naïve to assume that assholes always do more harm than good. Sometimes they can bring out qualities in people that wouldn't have been apparent otherwise. But, this of course, doesn't mean anyone should have to put up with it.

So, how do we deal with the firehouse assholes we encounter – and avoid becoming one?

Sutton suggests useful strategies to avoid becoming a party to a negative workplace. A popular adage says that the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but the secondbest time is now. In the context of this topic, it's best to assess potential workplaces for the concentration of assholes in their ranks. Too full? Consider keeping your distance. Failing that, the next best thing is to leave a toxic workplace as soon as possible or, if you can't leave, avoid toxic people whenever possible.

Further, although there is natural competition in workplaces, fostering a culture of commonality is very useful. Sutton puts it this way:

"Adopt a frame that turns your attention to ways in which you are no better or worse than other people. Don't focus on all the big and little ways that you are superior...or inferior. Think of all the ways that fellow human beings are just like you, such as the needs that we all have for love, comfort, happiness, and respect." This seems like a powerful, simple way to defuse the flame of workplace negativity before it ignites.

ARE YOU THE PROBLEM?

Lastly, consider a critical evaluation of yourself. Are you a workplace asshole? Sutton suggests that admitting you're one is the first step. While it's cheeky advice, it should be carefully considered. How do others really perceive you? Is it possible you're contributing to a negative workplace for others? If so, it’s best to take steps to stop.

We all want the same thing, which is the purpose and mission of the fire service writ large: to help people in times of crisis and need. As firefighters, we have unique knowledge, skills and qualities that enable us to carry this out in particular ways.

Let’s not allow negativity to make us lose sight of the tasks, relationships, and experiences that lie before us. Remember: if you’ve evaluated everyone around you and still haven’t solved your workplace negativity problem, it’s likely time to swallow that pride and look inward.

So…how’s your self-esteem? Feeling pretty confident about yourself —or is there a niggling hint of self-doubt that creeps in from time to time?

WHILE IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL –AND REFRESHINGLY HUMAN – TO HAVE MOMENTS WHEN WE FEEL LESS THAN COMPLETELY CONFIDENT, LONG STRETCHES OF SELF-DOUBT CAN SIGNAL SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEMS.

And statistics show that low selfesteem is one of the issues most often uncovered when we seek counseling.

Many of us find it hard to admit to our self-doubt, think it’s a shameful emotion, and instead, try to hide behind shows of false bravado. Sometimes, those shows can be pricey.

We buy bigger vehicles and spend more than we can afford to make our