Submit to The Knowledge That I love You By Amy Davidson
Amy Davidson is a blogger and writer at graceandrecovery.com. Her mission is to communicate the reality of life and grace in Christ to those trapped in their habits, addictions, and mental illnesses.
Submit to the knowledge that I love you. That’s what he said. It was raining outside, and my hubby and I were having our devotions by candlelight early this morning. As I began praying, a question arose in my mind and I looked up at Jerry. “How can I better submit to you?” Submission has been on my mind a lot lately, specifically because of what an enormous difference it has made in my marriage in the last week. I’ve only been married a little shy of two months, but in that time, I became so aware of the tone of voice I took on with my husband. Snippy. Frustrated. Impatient. Dismissive. I would let stress get the best of me and I wouldn’t know what to do with the overwhelming feelings. I had always been aware of how I could come across, but I didn’t believe there was anything I could do about it. Daily I prayed that God would help me be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Daily I would beg God to help me have self-control over my reactions and responses. But then something would happen and I would raise my voice again or I would make a remark that I knew wasn’t right. It would slip out and I would internally kick myself yet again because of what a failure I felt like. No matter how much I prayed, nothing “worked.” As I was expressing this frustration to my husband one day last week, he asked me, “what are you daily submitting to Christ?” The question took me aback because I wasn’t “submitting” anything. It’s a whole 6PAGE | M5 AG A Z I N E N A M E 3
lot easier to ask for things, isn’t it? He challenged me to begin submitting struggles to Christ each day during my morning prayers. So I tried it. My favorite spot to pray is in the rocking chair on my front porch. I went outside the following day and prayed. “I submit to you my need to be right. I submit to you my pride. I submit to you my need to do things my way. I submit my thoughts and words to you. I submit my heart to you. I submit my day to you. May your will be done, not mine.” I began recognizing that it isn’t about restraining my tongue, but really about honoring God and my husband. I can’t “make myself have self-control” but when I submit to Christ, acknowledging how much I desperately need him, the power of Christ works in and through me. It has been a night and day difference from how I once spoke to my husband, to how I speak now. It started with submission to Christ, followed by submission to my husband, and ended with a fierce joy and gentle spirit that had been absent for quite a long time. If I begin over-stressing or getting an attitude, instead of my husband retaliating, he will ask me if I have spent time with Christ yet that day. I can assuredly say that submission to Christ has led to me having
