4 minute read
The Power of Unfollow
One Of The Greatest Gifts Of Self Love Is The Power Of The UNFOLLOW.
By Candice Smiley
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Unfollow; for Peace. Unfollow; for Less Anxiety. Unfollow; and Lead.
I spent years being befuddled and anxious about the overwhelming access people, so called “friends”, had to me online. This was, in part, due to the fact that I had made some missteps in who I had befriended. The one drawback to my idyllic, and relatively secluded, childhood is that I lacked a certain amount of what I would call “street smarts.” When you grow up and everyone knows your father or grandfather or other family members, and they are well respected, it means that people treat you differently. It wasn’t until I got out on my own and began making my own acquaintances and connections that I started to get into trouble.
Seems not everyone operates in integrity or kindness… Not everyone was fortunate enough to be raised by loving, hardworking, integrity bound individuals as I was. Legacy is such a powerful word. It took me a long time to untangle myself from these connections. I got into a serious relationship with one that ultimately left me in financial ruin; not to mention the connections he had connected me to. I’ve seen first hand that like truly does attract like. It took a great amount of courage to begin to untangle from these relationships. These people were used to me doing things in a certain way and being able to access my time, energy and money for themselves. They did not like it when it changed... when I decided to change.
I did what could be considered a cowardly thing... I ran away.
I ran far far far away! I began to unfollow, unfriend, block… unfollow, unfriend, block. It was so scary. It felt like I was betraying people... I was. I felt like I was being watched... I was. I felt like everyone would hate me, and some of them did. I felt unsafe... I was!
I found that the more I unfollowed, unfriended and blocked, the freer I felt. Nothing bad happened beyond a few nasty text messages or phone calls. I blocked and deleted those too. I started to gain and regain strength. Slowly. I started to take radical responsibility for my life. I stopped blaming, shaming or calling out...and I just said, ok. This is my shit. It's shitty. Its really fucking shitty. And I am going to sit in it. And as I sit in it, it's going to get on me. It's on me anyway... And then, I’ll stand up. I wash it off. I will let it go. And I will walk on. I will go my own way. Make my own amends. I will fix what I can, and I will never ever, ever, go back there again. And I haven’t.
My block list is incredibly long. The places I won’t go in Edmonton are also long. The people I won’t associate with? Very long. And I don’t compromise that decision.
That is one of the single greatest gifts I have ever given myself
Freedom always comes at a price; and the price is usually high... and so very sweet.
A final note, Jim Rohn talks about knowing who your “5” are. You know the ones? The 5 people you spend the most time with; you become like them you know? I’ve also come to realize that it would be wise to know who is in their “5”... because they will be like them. When I applied this idea to my life it meant a final release of people I really didn’t want to, but I knew that they were a) compromising their integrity by being friends with a certain person of questionable values and morals or b) they were lying to me by saying they were nothing like me… When people tell you who they are you really ought to believe them; and, actions really do speak so much louder than words. I am so very pleased to tell you that through the years I have continued my hard practice of deleting that which is out of alignment, causes anxiety or doesn't serve me. I Trust the Niggle and I Tell the Truth (Link to my Podcast by the same name here!) This has resulted in a slow and glorious creation of a life I truly, truly love... one I feel safe in!
This is the great gift I wish, and hope, you can find the courage to give to yourself.
The permission to unfollow, unfriend and block; without comment, explanation or conversation. It is life changing, and I would suggest that you consider it too.
With love,
You will find links to connect with Candice in the main magazine.
