4 minute read
Self Love
By Carolynne Melnyk
From Self-Sabotage to Self-Love
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Do you love yourself? I mean, really love yourself.
Or, are there two of you? The one you show the world and the one inside who questions, doubts and critics. For many years, I did not love myself. In fact, I may have been on a path of self-destruction. I would look at my life and couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. I had a taste of this inner peace once in my life. Where did it go, and how do I get it back?
I was on a roller coaster of incredible highs and devastating lows. With the lows came solo binge drinking, cascades of tears fuelled with self-pity and self-loathing, gorging on junk food, smoking, and unhealthy relationships.
Those of you who know me now might be thinking no way! But, underneath the smiling, self-assured confidence that you see today, once hid a cauldron of self-pity, insecurities, a craving for love, victimhood and unhappiness. Why couldn't I stay happy? Why did the lows always follow the highs? Why couldn't I be like other people and be content?
I know I'm not alone... We hide our secret selfloathing behind a mask of self-assuredness and the smile of deception. We think we are fooling the world, but we are only fooling ourselves.
On the outside, my world was amazing! I was my family and friends' envy as I travelled the world, had a successful career, and a high income.
The sad part was, I played my role on the stage of life so well that I fooled everyone except myself. Within me was a little girl crying out for love, wanting to be seen and acknowledged that she was good enough.
On my quest for reassurance of my self-worth, I looked to the world for self-validation. I was looking in the wrong place!
Eventually, a quiet inner voice began to whisper to me again, and through the chaos of my
I took small steps by starting to meditate. After a year of daily meditation, I had a profound experience in which my deceased mother came to me. Our conversation was the catalyst that flipped the switch within me and turned my life around.
I saw that many of my problems began in my mind and not in the world around me. I knew at that moment that there was nothing wrong with me. I was okay as I was. I just needed to unravel and unclutter my thinking.
Over the next 25 years, I began to reconnect with my inner self and use my life experiences to test out theories and practices that I came across. I lived far away from the new age movement with its workshops and classes, which was entirely experiential for me. With each unique inner insight, I grew in self-love, self-compassion and self-worth.
Yes, I have moments when the insecure little girl pops up and starts to whine, but I know how to nurture her so that her insecurities are transformed back into love.
Each of us is perfect as we are. It's only the cloud cover of our personal thinking that keeps us from knowing this! Everyone has the ability to tap into their inner wisdom and reclaim their inner peace, joy and love. It is this process that I share with others in my Guided by Insight Programs.
YOU hold the keys that unlock the door to your self-worth and self-love. If you need help to part the clouds to see your inner love and light, I am here for you.
You can find information about my Guided by Insight Programs and Carolynne’s Qigong Club here.
Carolynne is a gifted teacher, spiritual coach and intuitive, who has always known there was more to life than which could be seen, understood or touched. She is a professional educator with a B.Ed & MA with over 25 years’ experience, a Spring Forest Qigong Trainer, Qigong healer and a trained shaman.
Over the years, she has guided many individuals to transform their lives using Qigong and a deeper understanding of the nature of thought. This guidance has helped others deal with stress, anxiety, a major illness, grief and being overwhelmed by life.
