4 minute read
THE WRONG SIDE OF A GENDER EQUALITY DEBATE
By Candice Smiley
My friend Frisbee Rob found himself on the wrong side of a debate regarding gender equality. Unwittingly, perhaps even innocently, he waded chin deep into the dark water that is a twitter debate... And he lost... Horribly!
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Picture this; it's the World Games in Poland, 2017. These are the sports that are not yet in the Olympics but would like to be. It’s a big deal! The World Flying Disc Federation (WFDF) sends one commentator to the games on behalf of the sport, a man the best person they have for the job. Criticism of the lack of gender equality begins to happen on twitter with a tweet from one woman (#fuckthepatriarcy).
As he begins to tell me this story, I can feel my heart sink. I know what’s about to happen next, and I know it won’t be good.
As the Global Director of Communications for the WFDF brand, Rob hopped onto Twitter to respond to the comment and share that they believed they had sent the best commentator, male or female. This was not received well at all. Rob had recently watched the documentary, The Red Pill by Cassie Jaye. He was wandering into the conversation with a small amount of knowledge about the depth and width of the challenge facing him, but no idea of the anger that often comes from a conversation about this.
The conversation on Twitter very quickly became very one sided… and it wasn’t in Rob’s favour. Many then, and since, encouraged him to not engage and walk away; but he didn’t. He made the mistake to take the conversation to his personal Twitter account and things really went downhill from there. The exchanges got heated and taken out of context. Others with more experience and a lot of anger got involved. Rob was in over his head.
I don’t need to tell you how it ended. By the time the dust had settled, a petition had been signed calling for Rob’s removal from his position at WFDF. The impact was felt immediately and Rob was asked to resign... He did.
WFDF did end up sending a female commentator to the World Games as a result. That’s about the only win from all of this that I can see. It was good for the brand, and good for the sport (and for the gal who got to go!) but Rob became a common enemy for a very hot topic. Even now, I shake my head. Rob hurt for a long time over this as it impacted nearly every area of his life; dating, jobs, friendships. His reputation in the sport he loved was tarnished. It has taken him a long time to rebuild and refocus on his next steps; to be able to own it, forgive it and move forward from it.
I asked him if there was anything he wanted to share with me from what he learned. This is how he responded;
I find myself nodding… I get it. I’m not sure of the answer either.
Rob continues. “Candice, the thing I wonder the most is, how do we live side by side, holding different opinions, and not try to use those opinions to cancel each other out.”
Mind blown moment... Great question!
These questions enter my mind; • Why do I have to make you wrong so I can be right? • Just because I’m hurting, does that mean you can’t be hurting too? • Is one hurt bigger than the other, more justified than the other?
To be honest, I don’t know the answers to any of the questions Rob asked me at the end of the interview. I don’t have a clue how to wade in on this conversation. What I do know is that there is a great group in Calgary called CCMF Alberta, Canadian Center for Men and Families that is making a difference. Programs and services for men in need, men who are victims of domestic abuse and violence.
https://ccmfalberta.ca/
I’m excited for Rob who is now their Digital Media Manager; there are very few men’s support centers like this, versus the number of women’s centers. It’s amazing to see how Rob has turned this situation into a cause and become a champion for other men.
“Frisbee Rob” McLeod is a motivational speaker and frisbee ambassador living in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
He has 6 Guinness World Records, 13
World Championships and the Canadian
Distance Record. He is the co-author of The Davy Rule and the creator of the Unplugg’d Challenge.
You can find Rob's connection information on his page in the digital copy of our magazine. https://issuu.com/createtheripplemagazine/docs/create_the_ripple_magazine_march_2021/74
