Being True To Yourself

Ask Lonnie

5 Steps To Being True To Yourself

Photo by Jared Rice on UnSplash

What does this mean?

It means honoring and respecting your needs, wants and desires. Making yourself a priority, without the guilt.

Here Are 5 Steps You Can Utilize To Help You Stay True To Yourself: 1. YOU Time:

Be honest with yourself about what you need/want. If you need some YOU time, then take some. I know the world is a busy place, but, if you take a closer look, you’ll find moments that you can carve out for your needs. Instead of watching that late night show, run yourself a luxurious bath with your favorite salts or bubble bath. Put on some relaxing music. Light a deliciously scented candle even. Or sit in a quiet comfy place where you won’t be disturbed. Perhaps the perfect YOU time is reading that book you’ve been eyeing forever. Whatever you choose to do during YOU time, make sure you breathe! Deep breaths in and out. That helps to de-stress, refocus and defog the mind so you can think clearer. Making dealing with life alittle easier.

2. Check In:

When you’re asked to do that thing, say that thing or go somewhere, check in with yourself to see how you really feel about it. Are you going along with what’s asked of you simply to make others happy? Are you overlooking how you feel? It’s time to stop. You can’t please everyone. In fact, you’ll burn yourself out trying. If it isn’t important and a ‘must do’ of your responsibility, then answer truthfully. Saying, “I am unable to fit that in right now” or “I’m not interested in doing that”, is allowed. It’s more than ok! It’s necessary! The more you start making decisions that feel good to you, the better you’ll feel and then the better you’ll be for yourself and others. By setting your boundaries, you’re actually making it ok for others to set their own too.

3. Honesty and Acknowledgment:

Be honest with yourself about your thoughts and feelings. Notice your self talk. Don’t just brush a negative comment or criticism off. Acknowledge how you’re feeling and what you’re saying to yourself. Just ignoring things doesn’t make them disappear. In fact, the more we stuff them down and try to lock them up, the stronger they get! If you catch yourself saying things like, “Why am I always so tired”? Or “I can’t do anything right”!, Flip the script and try saying, “I’ve noticed I’ve felt tired the last few days. I’ll plan some me time so I can rest and refocus”. And “I’ve noticed I’ve been spreading myself thin, trying to do ALL the things. I’ll reprioritize and focus my attention on the job at hand”. Remember to be gentle on yourself. Be loving. Your own thoughts are the ones that you hear 24/7. Use them to build you up, not tear you down.

4. Clean Up The“People In Your Life” List

They say you are the 5 people you hang around most. So take a good look. Are you surrounding yourself with people that lift you up and make you want to be better? Or are you surrounded with people you feel an obligation to? Fact: the only person you owe anything to is yourself. This is your life. You get to decide how you want it to be. There’s no such thing as a ‘small’ action. Everything you allow and don’t, effects your world. So if ‘Debbie’ always puts you down or just has to give you the negative side of everything you say and do, it’s ok to cut her out. So you’ve known her for 10+ years, so what? People out grow people and situations all the time. It’s a part of life. And it just might be a part of like that’s holding you back! Be thankful for the lessons and grateful for the opportunity to move on.

5. This Is A Big One. Speak Your Truth:

No matter what it is. No matter what you were taught growing up. You are an adult now. You have experience, insight and intimate knowledge about the things that feel like home to you or feel like razor blades run on raw skin. If you don’t want to follow that certain way of thinking, don’t. If you can’t stand the way someone in your circle belittles others, then speak up and cleanse your inner circle. If you don’t really like that ‘help’ someone always tried to give, say no thank you. Whatever you believe, feel, who you Love, who you are and who you want to be, all are ok! Don’t be ‘fluffy and agreeable’ just to win friends. Because you’ll lose them anyway when the real you shows up. And you’ll still feel lonely in a crowded room. Speak and live your truth, and your tribe will come. We all have a truth. What’s yours?

My final advice is this. Forgiveness. Forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made, are making and will make. You’re human and mistakes come with the territory. When you know better, do better. I See You ~ Trelawnie Gartner

Trelawnie Gartner is from Alberta, Canada. She is a Reiki Master and Empowerment Coach, healer of moments, a catalyst, energy shifter and truth teller. As a fixer of other women’s crowns she encourages all souls and offers advice and guidance with knowledge gained through courses, books and life experiences.