The Spot Mag~Celebrating Women in Business Nov/December 2019

CELEBRATING WOMEN IN BUSINESS

spot THE

mag

1

CRYSTAL’S REALT Y TIPS:

F INDING TH E RI G H T H OM E F O R YO U !

MINDFUL NESS:

F INDING TH E RI G H T T HE R A PI ST FEATURE:

E V VE MI: HA IR MATC H M AKE R

N O V E M B E R / D E C E M B E R 2 0 19

IN THIS

Issue E M OT ION AL F ORE C AS T

page4

C RYS TAL ’S RE AL E S TAT E T IPS

page 5

C RYS TAL ’S C HAM PION S

page 6

M IN DF U L N E S S

page 8

LOC AL S P OT L IGHT

page 12

FAS HION

page 14

N AT ION AL F E AT U RE

page 20

GU E S T F E AT U RE

page 26

Feature: MARIA MALAVENDA See the article on page 20 2

Cover photo by Emmalee Schaumburg, Schaumburg Photography Hair and Makeup by Paisley and Stripes

Contributors

CO -FOUND E R & EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: CRYSTAL SWEARINGEN

CREATIVE DIRECTORS: CRYSTAL & ADRIANNA

SWEARINGEN

BRIT TANY SWEARINGEN ANTHONY GONZALEZ ANIKA JACKSON CRYSTAL SWEARINGEN ANGIE WILLIAMS AMANDA GREGORY ALEXIS VICTORIANO W RI TERS:

PHOTOGR AP HY:

EMMALEE SCHAUMBURG SCHAUMBURG PHOTOGRAPHY

N O V E M B E R / D E C E M B E R 2 0 19

Crystal’s Ball As we wrap up 2019 with so many great memories and wonderful things on the horizon, a special highlight that will remain with me will be modeling in “Cooper’s Couture!”

Created as another way to raise money for Cooper’s Cause, Cooper’s Couture is an organization started to help congenital heart patients, and it’s named after the founder’s son, Cooper! It was such an honor to participate in this amazing fundraiser and bring a spotlight to such a great organization! (You can check out their website at www.cooperscause.com.)

I set my goals at the beginning of the year to give you guys six issues of fabulous women, as well as suggest tips to create your most successful life, as we “Celebrate Women in Business!” In this regard, I’m so very excited for all that we have accomplished, in addition to everything we have in store!

I’m ending this year with some amazing new friends, writers, and business partnerships with our supportive advertisers. And, I’m just excited to continue to grow with our strategic partners in Lawrence, Kansas City, Houston, Dallas, Chicago, and Los Angeles!

Hope each of you has a wonderful Holiday Season, and I’m so excited to show you what we have planned in 2020!

Crystal Swearingen Crystal Swearingen, Co-Founder | Editorial Director

The Spot Mag

@the.spot.mag

women@thespotmag.com

3

EMOTIONAL FORECAST

Well, we made it to the last couple of months of the year. I want you to take a moment, breathe, and reflect on all of the highlights that this year has gifted you.

As we stroll the colorful, fall streets in November, we begin to allow our peaceful nature to guide us into the month. Notice how life seems to slow a little, allowing time for friends and gatherings. Your high emotional state will now be softened with nostalgic memories and new, exciting experiences that blanket you and keep your soul warm. You’ll have thoughts that actually connect with previous ideas this month, and you’ve gained the knowledge that patience was truly all that you needed to help give you clarity.

November does have a bit of nervous energy, only because you’ve tried to achieve all that you wanted to this year. Rest assured that you can pick up right where you left off next month.

Enjoy the opportunity for downtime, and regroup in the beginning of December.

4

With the momentum of the New Year quickly approaching, take this month to gather your intentions for next year, and stay the course! We dibble-dabbled all year long with different directions and ideas, but the absolute must have for 2020 is FOCUS! Focus on a definite direction and course of action, and follow through with all of your might!

This coming year will only be more rewarding than last, especially if you create the path to manifest. Stay the course, and be impeccable with your word! Going back or aborting the mission will only present more obstacles, especially when we’re talking about your heart’s desires! Have a Blessed Holiday Season and a Remarkable New Year! And, from my family to yours - Best Wishes!

The Southern Psychic

C r y s t a l ’s R e a l E s t a t e T i p s

Finding The Right Home For You If you’re a first time home buyer, the stress of choosing the perfect house for your family can feel overwhelming at first. While that stress may seem very real, it is often unnecessary. Instead of entering the market trying to find a house that is perfect in every way, keep an open mind. Approach the situation with a willingness to hear ideas and you are much more likely to find a home that you and your family will love. The process can be long and require work, but it will be worth it in the end and i doesn’t have to drive you crazy. Here are some tips to guide you when you are trying to find potential new homes and how to know if it is the right one for you.

DECIDE ON DEAL BREAKERS The easiest way to narrow down the right house for you is to start by deciding what you either can’t live without or cannot tolerate. If two bedrooms will never work for you, or you must have a large backyard for your pets, create a list of those things so that you can rule out properties that just aren’t worth your time.

TRUST YOUR GUT There may be times when you walk into a home and it seems like it may fit what you need, but there is just something off that you can’t shake. On that same note, if you tour a home and you instantly fall in love, don’t doubt your feelings. Sleeping on a house you love for too long can end up in you losing that home to someone else. Trust your instincts and you will end up in the home that is perfect for you.

TRY TO VISUALIZE Can you see yourself in this home? Can you imagine your children playing in the backyard and doing homework in the kitchen? If you are touring a home and can already picture what it would be like for your family to live there, you are heading in the right direction.

KEEP LOCATION IN MIND While a house may check most of your boxes, don’t forget to consider the neighborhood. Are things that are important to your family close by? Are you close enough to good schools or your place of employment? Make sure that you consider location factors so that you don’t end up in a home that becomes an inconvenience.

TRUST YOUR AGENT While it is important to know what you want and trust your gut in the process, don’t forget that your agent has your best interest in mind. They want to find you the perfect home, and they have worked hard to do that for many others before you. They know the ins and outs of the real estate world, and are there to help you if you are willing to trust them!

Crystal Swearingen Broker/Owner Crystal Clear Realty Realtor NestSeekers Beverly Hills 785-550-3424 www.CrystalSavesTheDeal.com REALTOR®

5

C r y s t a l ’s C h a m p i o n

Women Build: Habitat for Humanity

6

Lawrence Habitat’s 102nd homeowner, Haley Patterson, and her four children, Larkin, Kenadee, Kambree, and Knox 1. Where did the idea of women build come along?

Since 1991, Women Build volunteers from all walks of life have come together to build stronger, safer communities. Though our neighborhoods are comprised largely of women and children, they are also the population’s most likely to be affected by poor living conditions. Our Women Build events provide the opportunity for women to take a proactive step in serving their communities. Women Build opportunities are available across the U.S., and any woman who wants to learn how to build and construct a home is invited to join us.

No experience is necessary. Volunteers work under the guidance of construction professionals, and also alongside other volunteers and future Habitat homeowners.

Whether you are learning new skills or simply adding a few to your tool belt, this is a rewarding experience

for all involved, and improves the community that you share. Women Build is also a terrific way to involve your friends and family of all ages in crucial work with a lasting impact. Women helping women sends a positive and powerful message. You can also come alone, and make new friends. The atmosphere is collaborative and friendly.

2. What is the mission behind women built and how do you put that message out to the community?

See above! Locally, we want to empower wo men (and men) to get involved in the affordable housing initiative and we use our Happy Hour event and our Women of Lawrence calendar to gain exposure and community involvement.

3. How much has this event raised for the families?

The Women Build program has provided funding for 9 homes since 2002. We just started the building on our 9th Women Build home on October 5, 2019 for the Patterson family.

4. What is your key takeaway from working so closely with these families?

Owning a home is a dream come true for many of our homeowners. It is an opportunity to have a stable, secure place to raise their families without livi It is an opportunity to have a stable, secure place to raise their families without living outside their budget. Lawrence Habitat’s 102nd homeowner, Haley Patterson, and her four children, Larkin, Kenadee, Kambree, and Knox (pic attached) Haley and her family have lived in Lawrence for a little over five years and have only. glowing things to say about the area. “We absolutely love this town and the schools,” she says. Haley says that she has always had to rent a place to live in Lawrence, and required roommates to help her pay the bills, although she always dreamed of having a place of their own.

“The day I found out that my family and I were chosen...it

was surreal,” she says. “Our lives were going to get better, my family was going to get closer, and my dream was actually going to come true!” Haley says she had no words at the time, and could only think of how excited her and her children were to have their “forever home.”

5. How can someone get involved in helping habitat for humanity?

We always need volunteers! As you can imagine, we need volunteer support on building the actual houses, but we also utilize volunteers to execute our fundraising events, participate on our committees (finance, construction, family selection, etc) and help in our Habitat ReStore. Any person interested in giving their time to Lawrence Habitat can contact our volunteer coordinator, Erin Schmidt, at 785-8320777 or volunteer@lawrencehabitat.org.

6. How many homes have been built in our community with habitat for humanity?

We have completed 100 homes and have 2 houses underway!

Above: Volunteers for 2019 Women Build

7

MINDFULNESS

GOOD THERAPY

FINDING THE RIGHT FIT

BY ANTHONY GONZALEZ, LCSW

8

Good Therapy – Finding the Right Fit In my position, I have the good fortune to meet a lot of clinicians, whether it is through networking or through the interviewing and hiring process. And, with this experience, I’ve learned a fundamental truth about our field: You cannot pay someone to truly care.

I point this out as a reference point for beginning your search for a good therapist - one who will truly help you through periods of struggle in your life.

If you scour the internet, you will find a great deal of valuable information explaining different types of schools, credentials, trainings, and about finding someone covered by insurance or within a reasonable proximity. While all of those are important, they inform very little about what it would actually be like to connect with a therapist.

Significant research has been conducted in the last 10-15 years identifying the fact that only two primary characteristics are important for “good” therapy. One is if you truly feel trust or an authentic connection with the therapist.

Another is whether you sincerely feel they have your best interest at heart with a focus on your goals.

We often look to therapists who seem to have a deep technical or theoretical understanding of psychology or the ability to conceptualize the problems you’re facing, which is necessary. A great therapist will also be able to have a deep compassion and empathy for you. They will work toward not only understanding the complexities of your experience, but they will also frame feedback and guidance in a way that is easily digestible for you. They don’t simply solve the problems, like you are a puzzle. Rather, they prioritize gaining an appreciation of what a day in your head or your heart is like.

There is a stereotype that therapists are blank slates that listen attentively (or not! Yikes!) and ask questions that help you come to your own conclusions.

Sometimes that’s necessary, but I do not think of one important relationship in my life that would be so unilateral. I find that the best therapists I know - and the ones most clients seem to prefer are ones who are willing to be open with you. They allow for appropriate self-disclosure and transparency with their thoughts and feelings, while maintaining appropriate clinical boundaries.

They may use examples from their lives or meaningful stories to help normalize experiences or illustrate how to work through steps of healing. You’re an interesting person with an important story, and a therapist who’s a good fit for

9

you will be incredibly curious about your troubles and hopes, as well as how you got to where you are and the intricacies of the changes you’d want to create in your life. They are good models of vulnerability and do not close themselves off from the genuine emotion that is regularly present in a session.

10

Finally, a good therapist is willing to read between the lines and fill in gaps. If you knew how to solve all of the problems in your life, you obviously wouldn’t be seeking support. A great therapist is willing to help you uncover the “Whys and Hows” of your life, sometimes taking the risk to call out elephants in the room with enough humility to admit if they are wrong. A therapist who is a good fit for you will help you find the kernel of truth in why you’re hurting and help you find the path to healing, as opposed to solely pushing you to change. You need to know and feel you actually matter to them.

As you continue your search, you want to ensure that the therapist has experience in the area you’re having a particular struggle or, at the very least, is willing to educate himself or herself. Graduate school teaches us very general practices, so for areas such as trauma, postpartum depression, complex family issues, etc., make sure the therapist you seek has specialized training in these subjects.

Ultimately, I encourage you to trust your instincts. And, if you ever feel you are not getting what you need, move on. There are likely reasons, as sometimes it’s just not a good fit. When you find a therapist that is good for you and what you need, stick with them. It can be one of the most important choices - and one of the most vital and valuable relationships - in your life.

Anthony is the Clinical Director at The Delray Center in Delray Beach, FL, which is one of the most clinically and medically advanced mental health treatment centers in the United States.

Anthony is a proud alumnus of the University of Kansas School of Social Welfare. Anthony has advanced therapeutic training in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Prolonged Exposure Therapy.

For Advertising Information email us at women@thespotmag.com

11

LAWRENCE LADY BOSS

JESSICA MOONEYHAM

12

LOCAL SPOTLIGHT

At one point or another a lady boss takes a giant leap from the known and jumps into the unknown. She takes the path untraveled and follows the road not yet mapped. Most of us will never know the level of courage required to take a dream and turn it into a reality. If it were not for these brave women, businesses like Cisco, Build-A-Bear Workshop and Spanx would not exist.

Here in Lawrence, Kansas we are blessed to live in a town thriving with incredible woman owned businesses.

Meet Jessica Mooneyham, the proud owner of AR Workshop Lawrence, a new boutique DIY workshop located at 1520 Wakarusa St. Jessica and her husband, Kirk, opened AR Workshop just a few months ago filling a local need for that creative meeting space that offers just about everything DIY. Through hands on classes, they offer wood signs, canvas wall hangings, pillows, chunky knit blankets and each day they add new and exciting projects that visitors are able to create themselves. Most pieces are home decor made from raw materials with a custom aspect to it, but all pieces are handmade and unique to each guest. This space is one that will hold many memories of laughter and celebrations that mark the essence of what life truly is. Jessica is also a mom of two boys and someone you can’t help but feel drawn to in that she makes you feel at home the minute you walk in the workshop doors. The following conversation does a good job of showing you someone with a dream that had the courage to turn it into a reality.

What is your favorite thing about being a lady boss in 2019?

“I am amazed constantly by the way the Community of Lawrence steps up to help it’s people and I am so honored to be amongst those who have witnessed and helped firsthand. My husband and I opened AR Workshop Lawrence as a place FOR the community to create and connect. We’ve already met THE most amazing people and spent quality time with them. I have enjoyed learning and working with all of the members of my team. Each and every one of them brings something different to our space and we can’t wait to watch them grow and develop as we go on this journey. I love being lifted up by all of the other women business owners who strive to shine their light on each other and not try to steal all the spotlight for themselves.”

Who or what inspires you?

“The color aqua....clouds, paint palettes, poetry and music. Music is literally my mantra, my lifeline and my outlet when I need to feel something. As an artist, I rely on how music makes me feel to get whatever is inside of me out.

Same with the inspiration I get from makers...from my own

children to local artists like Megh Knappenberger, who is extremely well-known, to those who dabble in creativity and walk in my doors with a fresh idea to the completely non-artistic patron who I get to witness experience fear turn into pride as they make an amazing piece of decor for their home. Watching or listening to art in any form is truly what inspired me to open a space for all to create and find their outlet in any way possible.”

How do you see yourself making our community better?

“If nothing else comes from my experience as the owner of AR Workshop Lawrence, I can say with utmost pride that I have created a safe, friendly, and welcoming environment that strives daily to leave the town of Lawrence (and surrounding small towns) a little better every day. Art, at it’s truest sense, is creation and I am honored to provide a place for people to laugh, love, learn, share, create, make and experience the joys of art with others in a space where they can put their phones down, look each other in the eye and walk out with their heads high for what they’ve made. In a grander sense, Kirk and I have grand goals for charities and organizations with which we want to work with to leave a mark on our community. Our family has been very blessed and we look forward to finding a true cause that our family can support more regularly.”

Where do you see your business 5 years from now?

“I see my sons working there after school every day on their homework and then stepping up to help at events as much as they can. I see my team having a sense of pride for what they have helped me build and, in turn, considering AR Workshop Lawrence their own. I see large corporations and small non-profits in our doors. I hear music continuing to blast within our walls. More laughs than one can count. More stories of what brought a mother/ daughter in to celebrate or honor a lost one. More stories of people creating art for their homes with words that are meaningful to them. I see Kirk and I on the beach more regularly and our parking lot full of friends gathering in love.”

What piece of advice would you encourage others with?

“If you do nothing else in this life, what good is living without trying? You may fail..you WILL fail...but you MUST try.

Fear is no reason to not try or to quit...fear is a lie and you just have to look it in the eye and say, ‘not today!’ Also, get a good coffee machine because caffeine will keep you alive.”

13

FASHION

The inherent piousness of fashion and its detriments to us all

BY BRIT TANY SWEARINGEN

14

I will be the first to admit, that as a self-pro-

The purpose of any art form in society is to bring

claimed taste maker and fashion enthusiast that each

light, perspective, awareness, and innovation to society,

day my consciousness is racked with judgements and sly

so why has fashion specifically become such a classist

comments towards the men and women I see around me.

marker of Do’s and Don’t’s? Is all the world a stage,

But why must my proclaimed values and appreciation

or to each their own? One question I cannot attempt

lead to a contribution of negativity, even if only within

to answer, is do the unfashionable not care about their

my mind?

clothes or enjoy the clothes they wear? I feel much more inclined to respect the latter, for doing what brings you

It feels almost as a disrespect to the art when I

joy is always a noble act.

witness such crude casualties. I become envious of the constant blur of fashionable intention and awareness

Reprogramming “thought” to exist as a choice

in cities around the globe. I desire more than anything

rather than a process done unto oneself is a feat tried

to be surrounded by the suckle of inspiration that is so

and accomplished by many philosophers, religious peo-

blatantly lacking in most rural areas. Even a mere thirty

ple, and pseudointellectual college students, read:me.

miles away you can find an array of diversity within ap-

That being said, I have begun the undertaking of living

parel in Kansas City, MO. What is in the water in grand-

a judgement free existence while contributing positivity

er areas that imbues this value into its citizens? No doubt

and kindness into the world around me. I don’t want you

there are those less aesthetically inclined in cities the

to think I go around spitting on every super-store shop-

same as there are those in towns with an eye for design,

per in sight, I in-fact do pride myself on a superior level

but the masses remain so unevenly distributed that I can

of politeness, but I am referring to those thoughts that

only wonder and marvel at the causation.

peak their head from behind the curtain of my conscious-

ness to make quips and comments you’re ashamed of

the most surprising sources. With my own take on them

thinking. We all have them, but the acknowledgement

of course.

is what controls the power that they hold. A complete blind spot for this voice of Ego can inadvertently feed

Even if you find nothing new from your imme-

into its power, whereas overidentification with the Ego

diate surroundings, you can fully form your own tastes

can also make you come off as kind of a dick.

from others as well. I won’t say I stopped giving the up-down to most people I pass by, but that up-down is

So where are we, those who pride ourselves on our keen eye of detail, and appreciation of the quality things in life, left without the superiority complex almost indistinguishable from ourselves? Happier, for one.

However impossibly daunting to separate the identity from the ideas, three brief months of self-conditioning I have not only been able to recognize and on occasion prevent negative thoughts from happening; it has even inspired me to try new silhouettes and ensembles from

now usually followed with a smile of contentment, not a struggled concealment of emotion.

15

Crystal's Spot

"Where Friends Become Family" 704 Mass St. Thurs.-Sat. 6-10 PM

16

Reviews "This is such a cool place with great staff and excellent desserts!! Live music, tarot readings, specials, and an amazing atmosphere. Will definitely go back and highly recommend for a place to have a good time. "~ Timberly on Google

"Just had an amazing evening at Crystal’s Spot! Intimate setting with an outgoing staff and great music. They made me feel like a regular right away. Such a nice vibe!" ~Josh on Facebook

17

PROUD TO ANNOUNCE I HAVE JOINED

18

1,000+

25

PROFESSIONALS

LOCATIONS

ACCOMPLISHED

19

GLOBAL

YEARS

IN THE MAKING

A Rising Star to be sure, Crystal Swearingen was born and raised in the Midwest, and she brings a strong Work Ethic and Perseverance to her Passion in Real Estate everyday.

After being named President of the local Board Of Realtors in 2015, Kansas Salesperson Of The Year in 2016, Realtor Of The Year in 2017, and serving on numerous committees for the National Association Of Realtors, Crystal created her own Brokerage - Crystal Clear Realty - where she serves Buyers, Sellers, and Investors in the Kansas City and surrounding areas.

In 2019, Crystal decided to expand her business to the West Coast, and Nest Seekers International in Beverly Hills seemed the right fit. “I felt the cohesive, international reach of Nest Seekers, combined with my extensive network of top producers around the country, would make for a great fit in helping Buyers and Sellers around the world find the right property that best suits their needs!�

A mother to three dynamic daughters - Brittany, Adrianna, and Halle - and in a relationship with John Falbo, former US tennis champ with Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras, Crystal looks forward to establishing herself in the Beverly Hills area and beyond, while making friends, educating clients, and serving the Real Estate industry she knows and loves.

NEW YORK

|

HAMPTONS

|

NEW JERSEY

|

MIAMI

|

BEVERLY HILLS

|

LONDON

19

salon company

MENTION THIS AD FOR

10% OFF

YOUR FIRST BLOWDRY OR MANI

EVVEMI

EVVEMI Revolutionizes Consumer Beauty Experience: The New Digital Platform Curates Matches for Women and Hairstylists

20

She suffered from multiple attempts and several hours spent at trying to find a decent hairstylist online. The horror she experienced not only brought about issues with her hair, but it rocked her confidence in a way that she never thought possible.

She confides, “In my career, I have worked in roles from speaking to thousands of people to being interviewed on MSNBC. During those moments, all I thought about was how I looked. For me, feeling and looking good starts with the hair. When you feel good, you’re empowered to enter any challenging situation - whether a new date, a divorce discussion, or an all-male board room.”

Maria explains, “We realized we could take my big data, healthcare, and consumer products background, and Evan’s It’s no surprise that 68% of women are unhappy with their experience building beauty apps, and we could use that hair, according to American Salon Magazine. Hair is a way knowledge to create a new experience for both consumers for us to express ourselves, yet it is often hard to find someand hairstylists. Thus, EVVEMI was born.” one who understands our personal hair needs, hair type, and Maria’s hair journey, however, truly started as the oldest of fit with our personality. four girls, whose mother had neither patience nor time, and Let’s face it, we date our hairstylist until we marry them. They would simply cut their hair short in order to save both. “I had go through every major life change with us – from bad a pixie cut until my freshman year of high school,” Maria breakups to job changes to the birth of our children and says, “and I’ll never forget that in the 8th grade, I became more. more aware of boys and myself as a woman.”

Enter EVVEMI and Co-Founders Maria Malavenda and She continues, “That said, I was bullied all throughout middle Evan Silverhorn. As a data-driven strategist who had recently school because of my hair, and being ethnic also meant othmoved to the West Coast from New York, Maria kept experi- er aspects of hair, like bushy eyebrows and hair on my upper encing the same issue. Beauty review sites would show ‘five- lip. It was so bad boys would bring in razors and put them star reviews’ for stylists that did not deliver five- star service. on my desk with notes saying, ‘You really should use this and The company was born out of Maria’s personal frustration. shave.’ Girls would also call me Mario.”

“I think that the most important thing a woman can have - next to talent, of course - is her hairdresser.” ― Joan Crawford

FEATURE

21

When Maria reached high school, she began realizing the power her hair had over her, when she convinced her mom to let it grow longer. Mom agreed as long as she paid for her own haircuts. She recalls, “This was great timing because my girlfriend, Stephanie, started cutting hair when she was 16. She was a brilliant artist and I was the guinea pig for many cuts and colors. This was also the period when product manufacturers were still providing classes in the salons. And, this was the time I developed my fascination with hair.”

Maria continues, “I learned I could express myself through various cuts or colors. I remember going to the Jacob Javitz center when I was 18 years old with Steph because she was working with Toni & Guy crew and needed a model. She worked with the lead artist on the team, and needless to say, I was on Cloud Nine. Myself and other hair models got totally transformed into something beautiful - a true piece of art.”

Maria concludes, “What was more amazing was how the models loved their new looks. We each became a new person.

I realized that I could change my mood through a cut and new style. So, the experimentation began.”

Considering both her childhood hair journey and experiences as an adult, Maria created EVVEMI to blend the human element of a personal beauty concierge with the most highly qualified and educated hairstylists and barbers. That blend has worked so well that the platform achieved a 92% retention rate

in matches, as measured after five visits booked through the platform.

Hairstylists and barbers, as well as consumers, fill out a beauty profile and are matched based on data and proprietary algorithms including personality, hair type and preferences, and epigenetics such as environment, allergy and other health factors. After making the first EVVEMI hairstylist match in 2016, the feedback received from consumers is the same - “You’ve changed my life!”

Today the company has brought the personal beauty concierge experience to men and women within California and is soon to launch in the Houston, Miami, Minneapolis, and New York markets.

Become one of the FIRST to meet your match and change your life! Sign up at https://EVVEMI.com, and as soon as there are providers in your area, you will be notified.

Meet Two of the EVVEMICodeÔ Approved Celebrity Hairstylists!

Cares Mills and Shane Vance Share Hair Tips and Trends for 2020 Cares on EVVEMI:

Cares’ Trend Report: “I see color and cut going a little retro for fall. We’ve seen the resurgence of the mullet, modernized. I feel we will follow the lead of our “It girls” of the past and going into 2020 you will see the Modern Shag popping up all over the place. Channeling Brigitte Bardot you will see a voluminous Shag with curtain fringe and lots of texture. Color wise Sadie Sink of Stranger Things is driving the desire for Ginger, Copper, and Rose Gold.

You will see shine and pops of deeper dimension to bring out the texture in the Shag haircuts.”

22

“The modern client is very savvy. They do their research and want to see who and what they’re purchasing before taking the leap. That’s why I’m very excited to work with EVVEMI. This platform will help introduce these savvy clients to their future stylists, and guide them in the right direction so they feel confident in their choice.”

About Cares Mills: A Color & Extension Specialist at Martinez-Samuel Salon in Los Angeles, CA and diPietro Todd Salons and Academy in San Francisco, CA, and a Platform artist at L’Oréal, as well as a Matrix Artistic Educator, Cares began her career in New York City. After spending three years between Manhattan and Beverly Hills at Louis Licari Color Group, she joined the diPietro Todd Salon group in San Francisco, where she holds the title of Assistant Director of Color. She studied French Balayage techniques at the Jacques Dessange Institute in Paris, and she develops balayage programs for Matrix (a division of L’Oréal.) She recently won an award at the L’Oréal Professionnel Color and Style Trophy, a prestigious global hairdressing competition.

She specializes in dimensional balayage, creative color, extensions and is known for her distinctive knife-based highlighting technique. Her work has graced the pages of the Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Chronicle, and the Marin IJ. She has also been featured on Beauty Launchpad, BehindTheChair.Com, American Salon, Sophisticates Hairstyle Guide, and more. She works between Los Angeles and San Francisco with many famous models, actors, and musicians, including Robin Wright and Val Kilmer, and she’s gone on tour with members of the rock band Journey and the Real Housewives.

Cares spends a lot of time traveling between LA & San Francisco for her in-salon clientele as well as educating Nationally & Globally for Matrix, a division of L’OREAL. Outside of that she loves yoga, hiking, dining and traveling with friends.

Shane’s Trend Report: “I think a couple 2020 colors this year are cinnamon, rainbow punk, ombré, and rose gold. For styles and haircuts, ponytails are hot however you want to wear them, as well as pixie cuts and lob haircuts finished with curls or wavy texture!”

Shane on EVVEMI: “I’m very excited to be involved in this new, exciting platform! I think of it as online dating, but finding a true connection with a hairstylist. Brilliant concept!”

23

About Shane Vance: Shane started his hair journey in Portland, Oregon, 24 years ago. He moved to Los Angeles to experience the excitement of working in Beverly Hills, as it was “the” place to work. After continuing his career at many notable salons, including Louis Licari and Warren Tricomi, Shane landed at Michael Joseph Furie Salon. Shane is a color specialist and hairstylist, with emphasis on balayage, ombré, highlights, Brazilian blowouts, straighteners, color correction, and hair design, and he’s continuously focused on educating himself on new trends and techniques. Outside the salon, Shane loves nature, going to the gym, movies, plays, the Hollywood Bowl, concerts, traveling, and spending time with friends and family.

Anika has gained a reputation for her philanthropic work in the community in both Houston and Los Angeles, as a founder of multiple charities as well as chairman and thought leader for organizations including Junior League, Learn Grow Lead, and Planned Parenthood. In addition, Anika serves as a founding family and advisory council member for Greater Houston Community Foundation’s Center for Family Philanthropy.

24

YOU GOT THIS.

AND WE’VE GOT YOU.

Home Loans from Bison State Bank – Only 3% Down!

Don’t wait to buy your dream home – make it a reality today. With Bison State Bank, you can buy a house with only 3% down. I’ll guide you through every step, from origination to closing and everything in between.

I’m ready to help. Contact me today!

Joylynn Gutierrez at JGutierrez@BisonStateBank.com or call 785.452.8198 Bison State Bank NMLS #757416

Learn more at www.bisonstatebank.com

NMLS #409547

FEATURE

OCD BETTER Call TYRONE Alexis Victoriano

“Try saying, OCD is that all you’ve got?!.” I sat, dumbfounded, across from my therapist. He gleamed at me. In those words, he was attempting to simplify what had felt like a nightmare. Who would believe that I didn’t want to think these terrible thoughts about my friends and family? Who had any idea that they were really unwanted? And how the hell was I supposed to know that unwanted thoughts were a major symptom of having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

The more I tried to avoid my thoughts, the more they ran me down. So my therapist encouraged me to talk shit to my obsessive-compulsive thoughts to diffuse them. Saying, “is that all you’ve got” to my treacherous thoughts seemed corny and foolish to me, but I didn’t have the heart to tell my therapist that. After all, I needed all the help I could get. It was struggle city!

I would often fall on my knees and pray. I felt desperate, I 26 no idea what was wrong with me. Eventually I needed had to pray at least ten times before leaving the house in order to prevent any harm to my family. On several occasions, I turned around after being miles away from home just to be sure (even though I already checked before leaving) that I had turned the stove off. I crossed myself sometimes ten... fifteen…twenty times alone in my room. Distressing thoughts surrounded me like the hot Florida air. My mind had tried to gasp for relief with no solution in sight. This constant cycle of distressing thoughts was relentless, never ending. The more I ran from my unwanted thoughts and compulsions, the more they found me. I even almost dropped out of school. My prayers and rituals were growing into chains. I had become a prisoner to OCD. It ruled me, it fed me. Fixing my lips to say the words out loud to describe and confess what was going on mentally was painful, tormenting, humiliating, terrifying, and out of body.

But holding up a mirror to my thoughts seemed to dissolve my nightmares. Not only was I able to face my worst fears and my worst thoughts by voicing them, but they no longer had control over me. Talking about them made me realize how irrational they were. I could never fully describe how much therapy saved me. The weight on my back had lifted, chains had shattered. I mean the relief I felt was measureless. It was euphoric, it was merciful. It was stronger than a mug full of

brewed coffee right after your alarm just nagged you out of sleep. It was more magical than Beyoncé with a marching band. I mean…I could be myself again! Me! Deciding to go back for my master’s degree in Social Work only made sense to me. I wanted to be for people what my therapist had been for me. Now, don’t get me wrong. There were times I wished me and my therapist had more in common. I was a young black teenager and he was an older white man. Even so, I had to check myself. In moments of extreme humiliation during my sessions, I would often shame myself for talking about this “white people shit.” I know, I know! That was a stigma in itself. Black and brown communities have every right to heal and talk about the nitty gritty of their mental trauma just as much their counter parts. My issue was that I had never before heard anyone of color speak raw and unapologetically about these symptoms. I’m sure I’m not the only person I know with this “chemical imbalance,” but a blockade of stigma continues to prohibit healthy discussions about these topics in black and brown communities.

And so…here I am six years later, getting my master’s degree so that I too can become a therapist and have these discussions with my diverse clients. I facilitate groups, work as a case manager, intern, go to class. I have come a very long way, dedicated to serving my community, educating myself, and giving others hope. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that there are times when my chest tightens, and my stomach twists into knots. Sometimes I replay that moment that I royally fucked up at work over and over and over again, my heart racing as fast as my thoughts can fly. The difference is that now I’m much more skillful than I was before. I remind myself to take a deep breath. I roll my eyes and tell myself that whatever went wrong will be forgotten by next week. I distract myself, watch a funny movie, listen to a podcast, run that mile at the gym.

This fight between me and mental wellness will last forever. If I let it, OCD will shower with me in the morning, it will dance with me at the club, study with me in the library, it will walk me down the aisle at my wedding. I have learned to

27

be intentional about not listening to my OCD related thoughts. It’s all very irrational. I mean, it’s obvious that OCD is just a hater that does not like to see me happy! I won’t let it determine my career, or my day, or my mood. It’s a message that I refuse to forward, a whisper that I know is full of lies. It is not me and I am not it. OCD has too much idle time. It will forever knock on my door knowing I know better than to answer. If I did, it wouldn’t serve me or let me breathe. Control and perfectionism is not what I want or need. OCD can no longer define or control me. If I have learned anything from this mental war I have had with myself, it is that I am strong enough and capable enough to let the obsessions go. I hope to teach my clients the same one day. Also, living with mental difficulties can be just as much as challenge for black cultures as any other race. I will not stop fighting the good fight and advocating for mental health issues. So here it is…OCD, is that all you’ve got?! NAH, better yet…OCD needs to call Tyrone!

Tell OCD to call Tyrone.

CHANNELING THE HOT SPRINGS EXPERIENCE Mud & Lotus is an outdoor soaking tub and sauna tucked away in a private garden in downtown Lawrence, Kansas.

Reserve an hour for yourself and/or your friends.

Book online at mud-lotus.com or call 785-371-1141 @mud.lotus.lawrence

700 massachusetts • lawrence kansas • (785) 331 4622

If your checking account isn’t paying you, it isn’t paying attention.

Ask for free rewards checking

HOME

Where your story happens.

meet kate & michelle - they are your people Start your home buying journey with them today.

Kate White | 785-228-8012 kate.white@envistacu.com | NMLS 979302 Michelle Fales | 785-331-7589 michelle.fales@envistacu.com |NMLS 780009

One Agent for Life

and Auto

and Home and Farm & Ranch and Business 30

Together, we’ll develop a customized plan that’s right for you.

It’s your future. Let’s protect it.™ Agent Photo

Patricia Reed Agent Info 5020 Bob Billings Pkwy, Ste A Lawrence (785) 856-8920

Logo

Disclosure Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company,* Farm Bureau Property & Casualty Insurance Company,* Western Agricultural Insurance Company*/West Des Moines, IA. *Company providers of Farm Bureau Financial Services M123 (8-18)

31

Thank you for Trusting us in 2019!

32

"Buying or Selling The Choice is Crystal Clear"