KIRSTEN’S CORNER

Finding The Authentic You

I’ve been on a journey. A journey through time, relationships, doubt, raising children, taking chances, changing jobs, failing again and again, and cases of wine. This journey has taken me to places that I’d never dare go again, to places that feel so comfortable I want to sink down inside and curl up for a month.

Through this journey, I have come to find the true me. With every journey there are moments of doubt. I hid my true self by purposely taking a step back, and turning my lips into a smile that only reached as far as….well, my lips. I stayed quiet. I took a backseat. I became small when others would question my motivation or dominate the conversation. I would apologize for the actions of others and make excuses for their behavior.

I was told that you learn by watching others. Strong, independent, successful people would run right over me because I let them. A few saw the spark that was hiding inside and offered me these opportunities that turned out to be one-sided. From the outside, these opportunities appeared like a golden ticket. Most of the time I was being seen as an assistant rather than an executive, with an affiliation with a big name, the ability to get in the door, and on occassion dealing with the sexual harrassment that came with it.

This had to change. The voice inside my head was too powerful to ignore, and my belief in my own abilities needed to see the light.

Now, don’t think I was ever a shy person - I’m not. I’m a very outgoing, pseudo-extrovert (is that even a word?) who thrives in the spotlight, but I need some downtime in her own cocoon every once in a while. Over time, I realized an outstanding truth about myself and others: FEAR is our greatest enemy. Fear can cause us to squash the ideas of others because they might be better than our own. Fear can keep us playing small. Fear means losing control.

The fear we experience keeps us from taking steps to who we truly are meant to be.

On September 10, 2021, I launched Clear Choice Commercial with my business partner (and The Spot Mag publisher) Crystal Swearingen. I had been thinking about starting my own company for years. I’d had the business plan, the understanding of the industry, and the financial ability to make it happen I understood the risks. I had a google docs library of spreadsheets and marketing plans that were tweaked and molded constantly with the changing economy and business environment.

I had connections. I served on a multitude of Boards and Advisory Councils and had a database of contacts in the thousands. I had started a podcast, published two books, and created an online course.

So, what was I waiting for?

I was waiting for permission. I was waiting for someone to tell me that now was the time and that it was ok to say “Yes.”

I recognized I was the only person that could give that permission! It’s my life! I’m in charge. How often do we hold ourselves back because we have not yet been affirmed in our ideas? We tend to put way too much stock in what others think of us.

I want to challenge you to overcome that. Put the power back in your own hands and create your own path!

The way I tend to process ideas is to start asking a lot of questions. Very few people have completely original ideas, but instead have taken something that already exists and made it their own. There is no reason why you should have to start from scratch when others have already blazed a trail for you to follow.

Take the opportunity at the start of this new year to find out what you are made of. Ask yourself: - What is it in my life that makes me come alive? - What am I really good at? - Where can I provide value? - What do I need to learn and understand before taking the next step?

My hope is that my journey can help you along yours, so you can can determine just where the Authentic You resides!

Kirsten Flory is the Co-Owner of Clear Choice Commercial. She is the author of Golfing in Heels and the e-book, How to Turn Your Idea Into a Business. She’s also the host of the podcast The Small Business Mindset. www.kirstenflory.com