KIRSTEN’S CORNER
Finding The Authentic You I’ve been on a journey. A journey through time, relationships, doubt, raising children, taking chances, changing jobs, failing again and again, and cases of wine. This journey has taken me to places that I’d never dare go again, to places that feel so comfortable I want to sink down inside and curl up for a month. Through this journey, I have come to find the true me. With every journey there are moments of doubt. I hid my true self by purposely taking a step back, and turning my lips into a smile that only reached as far as….well, my lips. I stayed quiet. I took a backseat. I became small when others would question my motivation or dominate the conversation. I would apologize for the actions of others and make excuses for their behavior.
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I was told that you learn by watching others. Strong, independent, successful people would run right over me because I let them. A few saw the spark that was hiding inside and offered me these opportunities that turned out to be one-sided. From the outside, these opportunities appeared like a golden ticket. Most of the time I was being seen as an assistant rather than an executive, with an affiliation with a big name, the ability to get in the door, and on occassion dealing with the sexual harrassment that came with it. This had to change. The voice inside my head was too powerful to ignore, and my belief in my own abilities needed to see the light. Now, don’t think I was ever a shy person - I’m not. I’m a very outgoing, pseudo-extrovert (is that even a word?) who thrives in the spotlight, but I need some downtime in her own cocoon every once in a while. Over time, I realized an outstanding truth about myself and others: FEAR is our greatest enemy. Fear can cause us to squash the ideas of others because they might be better than our own. Fear can keep us playing small. Fear means losing control. The fear we experience keeps us from taking steps to who we truly are meant to be. On September 10, 2021, I launched Clear Choice Commercial with my business partner (and The Spot Mag publisher) Crystal Swearingen. I had been thinking about starting my own company for years. I’d had the business plan, the understanding of the industry, and the financial ability to make it happen I understood the risks. I had a google docs library of spreadsheets and marketing plans that were tweaked and molded constantly with the changing economy and business environment. I had connections. I served on a multitude of Boards and Advisory Councils and had a database of contacts in the thousands. I had started a podcast, published two books, and created an online course. So, what was I waiting for?
