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Regular faux pas in career of accidental fashionista

Step forward broccoli bread and cauliflower pizza

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M AY 19 2 5

The thrill of an actor’s life Thespian couple who met on a Streetcar Named Desire in Russia and rode it all the way to Nicosia

WIN a night for two at the Alexander the Great

02 THOUGHT Crowded in parts but can the UK really be described as full up?

contents

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People: The Streetcar named desire that brought one thespian couple together and to Cyprus

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I

boarded a plane not long ago with a friend who had been slogging away, writing historical fiction. As we scanned the rows for empty seats, she pointed out that there was one Dan Brown novel being read every four rows, a sight to confound literary critics.

“As a stylist,” sniffs a reviewer in the Telegraph of his latest work, “Brown gets better and better: where once he was abysmal, he is now just very poor.” Well indeed; but he never claimed to be the natural heir to F Scott Fitzgerald. Such pursed-lips critique will not stop readers flocking to Inferno, the new Brown conspiracy quest, featuring a chase from Florence to Venice and Istanbul: an itinerary now so familiar in paperbacks that they should lay on a special train just for thriller-writers.

At the heart of this latest dystopian potboiler is an idea that Brown correctly divines to be part of the zeitgeist: the notion that a Malthusian population restraint is the way to greater health and happiness. His anti-hero is out to “thin the human herd” by inventing a new plague.

Some affinity with this objective, if not the actually homicidal bit, is suggested. His posthumous protagonist

Lifestyle: The life of a fashion misfit

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Population control won’t make us happier or nicer

Whatson: High quality performances at upcoming chamber festival

Fashion: Are you ready to dress like those in The Great Gatsby?

Bertrand Zobrist (easily mistaken for a Swiss watch manufacturer) may be a nutter but the author’s leaning towards non plague-bearing Malthusianism is clear.

That simplicity puts him in line with modern doom-mongers about population growth ranging from Prince Charles to Joanna Lumley.

And while I would hesitate to take on two such pillars of scientific wisdom, the panic about population growth has become an unquestioned fashion, on the assumption that if there are “too many” humans now, we would all be better off if there were fewer of us in the future.

Exactly where and how to arrange this remains stubbornly tricky. My family of three children is a joy: yours is a planetary liability. The evidence favours Dr Malthus’ descendants no more now than it did when he wrote his alarmist own bestseller An Es-

say on the Principle of Population in 1798. Family size and fertility are declining in most parts of the world, which means that population rises have more to do with people living longer. The best weapons against over-population remain education and affluence, not the kind of intervention that has skewed China’s population to create a generation of older people with too few of the one-child generation workers to support them.

More worrying are the traces of the doleful Malthusian message in the immigration debate today: a number of callers to Radio 4’s Any Answers last weekend used the phrase “full up” to refer to a Britain allegedly sinking under the weight of migrants. Yet countries with much lower population density, such as France and Germany, are just as prone to deciding that they are too “full” of outsiders. This is nothing to do with space, and immigration debates are the poorer for pretending that it is.

Calm down, Brown might chide, “It’s only a novel.” But his theme is one that indulges one of the less life affi rming human beliefs: that thinning out humanity will make us more humane. There’s an awful lot of evidence to the contrary on that one.

We don’t need to keep up this endless snacking

By Lucy Tobin

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In his new novel Dan Brown is right to identify over population as part of the zeitgeist says ANNE MCELVOY

It started just five minutes after the lights went down. As the audience collectively wiggled bottoms to squidge a little deeper into the red velvet seats, that distinctive smell drifted out. It was followed by soft thudding noises as pieces of rind gently dropped to the floor: there was an orange-eater among us at the theatre. And that was just for starters. Soon the culprit was on to a second orange, then rustling, unidentified chomping, and the definite rip-hiss of a can being opened and drink slurped. And all this in a theatre production of just 75 minutes’ duration.

It’s not just the theatre. A while back I saw a couple turn up to a cinema with an entire rotisserie chicken.

They noisily shared it between them and polished the whole bird off wishbone pulled and all - by the time the lights came up. Apart from anything else, it left the rest of us feeling starving.

Sometimes, you can’t help needing a snack. We’ve all used the odd journey to stuff in a sarnie between meetings. Some medical conditions necessitate a bite now and then.

And you can’t make angry eyes at a popcorn-eater at the cinema when chains spend millions working out ways to lure movie-goers towards those very concession stands – and said muncher has quite possibly spent the very same amount buying that bucket of kernels.

But on the whole, we don’t need to engage in this endless snacking.

The instant gratification culture means everywhere we go there are snacks in hand. Even a walk in the park takes place to the soundtrack of rustling wrappers.

It seems to me that hand visiting mouth so often is a pretty obvious cause of obesity. And while a quarter of us are already at that stage, the majority of the population is expected to be obese by 2050. What can we do about it? Well, Singapore’s metro fi nes commuters $500 for using it as an eaterie. It’s much cleaner as a result.

Some cinemas search bags for food on entry: it’s an obvious revenue raiser (they welcome their own popcorn and snacks through the door with open arms). But at least it keeps out the roast chickens.

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

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by Richard Dickenson

I

once had a patient by the name of Peter Datchett.

His pals called him The Genie because of his ability to appear whenever anyone opened a bottle. His workmate, Eric, was known as The Gas Man because it was alleged that he had serviced more old boilers than anyone else in the village.

Anyway, Peter believed in all that recent Mayan calendar tripe, that the world would end last December, and for Pete it did. He was run over by a bathchair on Brighton Promenade.

Sad, really.

I tell you all this as Pete suffered from an unusual medical problem. I have named it miafasoliophobia as Pete was afraid of baked beans. I don’t mean Heinz Beanz or Block and Crasswells’ or any other kind in particular but baked beans in general and, in particular a single bean such as might remain on the plate when the last scrap of bread had mopped up the rest of the usual slime, and missed one little bean. That was the oddest phobia I ever encountered. A close second was a gent, unnamed as he is still living, whose problem was angourakixithatophobia, meaning that he fears pickled gherkins. I know you are now despairing but you have my word that these two did exist and, one of them, uncured, still lives in Paphos.

With that light-hearted intro I come to the main point of today’s column. Almost as if it were an epidemic, in the last two years or so there has been a spate of unusual phobias reported in several countries and areas. Professionally, I am quite often asked about them by some hard-pressed sufferer. Some are severe enough to cause virtual disablement and raise fears of being symptomatic of underlying mental disease. Fortunately, this is seldom the case. The majority of cases are the ones we’ve all heard about, fear of knives, blood, blades, furry or feathered animals, spiders and mice. There are also lots of the most unlikely things people

So, what are you scared of? can be afraid of. These include water (aquaphobia), lightning (astrophobia), cats (ailurophobia), washing (ablutophobia), bright colours (chromophobia), public speaking (glossophobia), fi re (pyrophobia), homosexuals (pooftophobia), hospitals

(nosokomeophobia), Heaven (ouranophobia) and Hell (stygiophobia), and even sex (erotophobia) and the drinking of alcohol (dipsophobia).

Adequate explanations are often lacking though others start as perfectly reasonable fears of

people are to be appointed to look into the events that led a plainclothes police officer to shooting and severely injuring an alleged robber at a bakery in Lakatamia on Monday, the attorney-general has said.

Police handed over evidence along with CCTV footage from the incident to the committee.

The officer who shot and injured the 34-year-old alleged knife-wielding robber on Monday was performing his duty as a policeman and had no other option but to fi re, according to police association head Andreas Symeou.

According to police the officer had initially asked the suspect to surrender and hand over the knife but he allegedly refused, and the officer was forced to shoot him in the foot as a warning. The suspect refused to drop his knife resulting in the officer having to shoot him again, once in the chest and once in the head.

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May 19, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

per cent of children in primary schools and five per cent in secondary schools in Cyprus suffer from asthma, it was revealed this week.

The data was cited by the Cyprus Respiratory Society and the Pediatric Society, which are organising events, for the second consecutive year, between May 19 and May 23 to mark asthma week under the slogan ‘As long as I am breathing, I hope’.

During the week, a number of events will take place to educate people about asthma and to promote treatments.

“Our message, as far as children are concerned is that they should not restrain from physical exercise as long as their asthma is being treated. Parents should accept that their child has asthma and teachers should also be told,” Michael Iasonidis, president of the Pediatric society said.

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Fishermen to opt out

Bone marrow donors

fishermen are expected to opt out of the profession this year, as overfishing and dwindling fish stocks draw dolphins closer to shore looking for food while the puffer fish continues to damage nets.

About 120 fishermen holding a licence to operate smaller vessels less than 12 metres long, have applied to a different scheme to encourage fishermen to retire, leaving behind a smaller and more sustainable number of fishermen.

There are currently between 450 and 500 licensed fishermen - applications have not been fully processed yet so a precise figure couldn’t be given.

Kyriacou said the fisheries department expected to help between 70 and 80 of those licensed fishermen to retire, with some €3.0 million available in total.

Fishermen who retire their small vessels will get €20,400 plus the value of their boat.

viable bone marrow donors have been found for five-year-old George Philippides from Kili in Paphos who has been diagnosed with leukaemia and needed urgent treatment.

The good news was given to the Phillipides family on Monday according to the boy’s uncle, Marios Philippides.

He revealed yesterday that during the last few days suitable donors had been found in five countries including Germany, Israel and the USA, although only two of those donors were currently available.

According to Philippides, if the donor is from a country in the same region then arrangements are made to bring that person to Cyprus in order to carry out specialised examinations to see if they are a match with the little boy.

According to the head of Paediatrics at the Makarios Hostpital, Loizos Loizou, both available donors are around 90 per cent compatible with the young boy.

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THEWEEKINNUMBERS

Police shooting probe Asthma affects 10%

things that really are potentially hazardous in day-to-day living, lightning, falling, enclosed spaces, or, for example, a fear of poisonous snakes. Although these are understandable enough to start with, gradually, by conditioning, the fear becomes gen-

eralised and comes to include all snakes and, eventually, anything long and even vaguely resembling a snake, a lizard’s tail perhaps, a length of cord or, in one instance, a dressing gown sash. On the other hand everyone knows that car injuries are common, yet a fear of cars (aftokinetophobia) is rare.

The optimistic note I want to stress is that fears and phobias are, as it were, nothing to be afraid of. In other words they are eminently treatable and usually curable. One rather heroic technique, known as ‘flooding’ requires overwhelming exposure to the feared object or situation. The theory is that when the ‘claustrophobe’ is shut in a cupboard through a tiny window of which he can see and communicate with the therapist he comes to realise that nothing actually happens and this steadily diminishes the phobic effect. It is not a technique I favour.

Most therapies involve deconditioning commonly with the use of hypnotherapy. If there is a known start to the phobia the situation is recreated during hypnosis and better, rational interpretations are steadily substituted. For example, someone who is afraid of birds is first exposed to dandelion seeds and their parachutes. Later very light feathers are substituted, then bigger pinion feathers, a dried wing or a stuffed bird. Hypnotherapy also has the ability to explain the fear as unnecessary and rebuild the confidence required to resist the fear. This is the method commonly used to overcome fear of flying (avrophobia) or heights (acrophobia) and so on. There are excellent self-treatment CDs available and I will pass on the address to anyone interested. There is every reason for optimism.

By the way, speaking of brain conditions, which we were, roughly, if you are ever offered the unlikely choice between suffering Parkinson’s or developing Alzheimer’s ’tis said one should choose the Parkinson’s. Better to spill a little than to forget where you hid the damn bottle.

04 PEOPLE

The thrill of an actor’s life 15 years ago in St Petersburg a couple of students practised a scene from A Streetcar Named Desire. It has since brought them to Cyprus.

THEO PANAYIDES meets a couple given to a life onstage

T

he youthful-looking man with the unlined, elfi n face you’d recognise as Russian at 100 paces smiles, and shakes his head: “Andrei without Nicoletta is not possible,” he says, and indicates the woman sitting next to him – his co-star, business partner, mother of his children and wife of about 15 years, ever since they met at the St Petersburg State Academy of Theatre Arts. The fi rst scene they played, still at school, was from A Streetcar Named Desire (she was Blanche, he was Stanley). “And we sat in that streetcar,” he says fondly, “and it took us all the way to Cyprus!”

Nicoletta Christoforou was born and raised in Cyprus, but Andrei Krupa didn’t even speak Greek when he came here in 2000, in his early 20s (he’s now 35). “Sooooo many people told me ‘What are you doing?’,” he recalls. “‘It’s a different language, nothing’s going to happen, you’re always going to have an accent’” – and of course having an accent is a problem for an actor. His dad, an officer in the Russian Diving Corps, had only recently come to terms with

Little Worry People: Andrei Krupa Photo Christos Theodorides

the fact that his son was going to be a thespian (not a military doctor, as he’d hoped), let alone a thespian on a small, far-off island. Not to mention that the couple had a child, Christina, who’s now 13.

Christina is presumably at school when I visit the drama studio on a rainy Friday morning; her brother, five-year-old Giorgos Ioannis, is apparently hiding. (“Your son is hiding,” says Nicoletta as she joins us in the small theatre). ‘The Little Worry People’ reads the sign on the red wooden gate – a reference to a Mayan custom of little dolls that absorb your tension, leaving you fresh and angst-free. Andrei and Nicoletta run workshops and stage plays here, especially children’s theatre (Andrei worked for seven years with Theatre Antidote in Larnaca), and he may have named the place after Theatre itself – the little worry person that salved his own youthful worries and lack of self-confidence. As a teenager, “I had many complexes, many phobias,” he recalls. “Theatre helped me very much”.

I note a poster for their most recent production Hello, a 40-minute

play aimed at very young viewers, designed to give three and four-yearolds a fi rst experience of theatre (the show includes songs, mime and puppet theatre). The plot concerns a boy who doesn’t talk – “not because he has a problem, just because he’s shy, like many people” – at least till he meets a little girl, who plays a game with him and gets him talking. Andrei plays the boy, Nicoletta the girl.

‘Is it autobiographical?’ I ask, thinking back to his teenage phobias, and they both laugh.

Well, is it?

He shrugs: “OK, I’ve changed…”

“He’s changed a lot.”

What happened?

“I changed him!” she laughs.

“I was influenced by Nicoletta, I was influenced by Cyprus. OK, Russian culture is rather different.”

Russians don’t smile much, as we know. Russians don’t hug, and aren’t very tactile in general. When Andrei fi rst came here, he was stunned by how boldly Cypriots – especially children – looked you in the eye without dropping their gaze, compared to Russia (kids in Israel, he reports, are even bolder). There’s a certain servil-

ity in the Russian psyche, a result of the nation’s bloody history; Andrei quotes Anton Chekhov, and his description of the Russian man “who, drop by drop, squeezes the slave’s blood out of himself”. His own life, he says, has been a process of gradually gaining in self-confidence, after the low point of his teenage years.

Getting into the Academy was one boost to his ego (only one in 1,000 applicants made it) – “And then,” he adds, indicating Nicoletta again, “after meeting this beautiful Mediterranean girl, I said ‘That’s it!’.”

That’s the way they talk about each other. We all know those couples who are obviously soulmates, always completing each other’s sentences – but Andrei and Nicoletta aren’t like that. What’s more likely to happen is that Andrei says one thing, Nicoletta says the opposite, then they both look tickled by how differently the other person sees things. Mutual admiration seems to be their watchword. They seem to get a kick out of building each other up (at least in public), as if secretly congratulating themselves on having snagged such a marvellous specimen. “Andrei has

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

05

a set of skills as an actor that’s rare, you don’t fi nd many actors who can do so many things. That’s why he’s so much in demand”. Like what? “First of all he’s very good at physical theatre, he’s a master at physical theatre – mime and so on.” Andrei looks pained, as if begging her to stop. “I’m saying it so you don’t have to say it,” she explains. “Because I know you won’t say it!”

How exactly do their personalities match?

“They don’t match! We’re completely different! We complete each other.”

How? “Andrei’s more reserved. It’s a different sensibility. I’m more communicative”. At work, “he’s very strict, a perfectionist”.

“But I listen, though.”

“I’m looser in general.”

Nicoletta is small, bubbly and vaguely maternal. Andrei’s comparatively aloof – not unfriendly, just cooler – his ethereal gaze giving him the look of a noble forest sprite. If they were elements, they’d be Earth and Air respectively. His air of detachment may have something to do with the family having moved around a lot when he was a child (that’s the downside of being an Army brat), making him withdraw into his own head. School was even worse, geared to maths and science whereas he was very much the artistic type. “I was in my own world,” he recalls, “making up stories all the time. My favourite thing was wandering in parks, or in the woods, alone with my dog, and imagining stuff. That turned out to be very useful later, in the theatre!”

He was doing theatre from his mid-teens, taking juvenile roles in local companies. Then came the gruelling audition for the Academy, a fourstage process that included not just acting but also music, dancing and even acrobatics. Andrei didn’t care: “I had lots of energy. A huge amount of energy. Because I really wanted to pass the exam. I was ready to do anything”. The move to Cyprus was inevitably a step back – but he got noticed a year later when a visiting Russian director staged an innovative production of Chekhov’s The Seagull at the Cyprus Theatre Organisation (THOC), with Andrei in a small-but-striking role doing physical comedy and playing the balalaika. His career (so far) has generally flourished, though he reserves his warmest praise for Xenakis Kyriakides at Theatre Antidote, a pioneer of young people’s theatre in Cyprus (Andrei has fond memories of playing ‘special’ schools for violent or disruptive pupils, and watching the kids sit totally rapt as the story unfolded).

And of course he and Nicoletta have their own theatre now.

‘The Little Worry People’ doesn’t only stage children’s theatre, but that’s the main focus. Are kids receptive, especially the very young ones?

Absolutely, they reply in unison. Better yet, the parents are receptive, treating theatre as a “must” for their kids, not just something to keep them amused for a couple of hours. “What I like in the relationship between parents and children in Cyprus is that there’s a lot of love,” says Andrei. “A lot of love and support, so the children can gain self-confidence. Most families I’ve seen have this. Unfortunately, in Russia they don’t.”

What about his own kids? Does he

May 19, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

‘We’re never alone or helpless. The force that moves the stars moves us too’

people

Double act: Andrei Krupa and Nicoletta Christoforou

Bone match Five viable bone marrow donors have been found for five-year-old George Philippides from Kili in Paphos who has been diagnosed with leukaemia and needed urgent treatment. The donors are located in Germany, Israel and the USA, although only two of those donors were currently available.

Pariah status

parent in a Cypriot or Russian style?

“Mixed,” he replies cagily. “Andrei is the balance in the family,” laughs Nicoletta, “because I’m a mum who never says no, never gets angry…”

Can he think of an incident when his reaction was typically Russian? “Tell the story of the watch!” she urges. A few years ago, he relates, when Christina was younger, they were in Ayia Napa and she wanted a watch – but she already had two watches, so Andrei refused and sternly lectured her on “how it will affect her when she’s grown up, if she always gets what she wants and doesn’t appreciate, and so on”. Christina sat there, listening in mounting horror as her dad expounded on how her lack of thrift would spoil her rotten and probably ruin her whole life. “Am I bad?” she wailed fi nally.

Andrei Krupa is undoubtedly a bit intense. He’s not just an actor, he’s a zealot, a true believer in the creed of drama and catharsis. “What are you like as a person?” I ask – a question that seldom gets answered (‘That’s for others to say,’ is the usual response) but Andrei treats it seriously, and pauses to think for a minute.

“For me, creativity is very important. It’s like a need. It’s not like ‘Oh he’s creative, how nice’ – because it’s not always nice, it can be disastrous when you can’t work without being creative. So yes, creative. I’m a bit egotistical, but I’m working on it”. When he gets angry, he explodes (then apologises later), unlike Nicoletta who – despite her extrovert nature – tends to keep it all in. He doesn’t seem to have any bad habits: he doesn’t drink, very seldom smokes, has never done drugs.

Is he religious? No. But he’s deeply spiritual, which is no surprise – not just because it’s ‘a Russian thing’ but also because his belief in the Magic of Theatre is already proof of a mystical nature. “I’m one with God,” says Andrei simply, whether God is to be found in church or meditation or yoga – then hesitates, as if wondering whether to divulge this next part. “I’m lucky, because I had certain spiritual experiences in my life,” he begins. “There’s a line for me. Some people are on one side of

the line, and others on the other. After I had those spiritual experiences, I crossed the line. And I saw a magical world.”

When did this happen? In childhood?

Later, he replies. In his twenties. He’d always read books – spiritual books, everyone from gurus to Church Fathers – and one day, as he was reading a book… well, something happened. “It can’t be described,” he says. Not even to himself.

Well, but surely he can tell us something more?

“Equality,” he ventures. “Brotherhood. Being one with everything and everyone. But like a vision – seeing a vision with yourself, and all living beings, and you’re all one.”

He saw that?

“I can’t really say I ‘saw’ that…”

He shakes his head: “I can’t describe it”.

Maybe not – but his words recall something he told me earlier, about the thrill of an actor’s life when you “become one” with the character you’re playing. There’s no doubt that acting is a kind of alchemy, hence a kind of magic. “For me, every person contains a whole universe,” says Andrei, “as long as you’re open”. What does it mean to be open? Does it mean to be in touch with one’s feelings, the ‘whole universe’ within every person?

– but both he and Nicoletta shake their heads. To be open is “to be receptive,” they reply. Like all forms of religious experience, it’s about submission, not ego. To be open is to look, listen, and learn. That’s the secret of acting.

Andrei Krupa doesn’t regret coming to Cyprus. “I’m one of those people who fell in love with Cyprus,” he tells me. “I’m one of those who came here, liked it, and I feel I belong here”.

But maybe what he means is that he belongs here, in The Little Worry People, with a stage to absorb his creative ideas and a partner to support him, challenge him and – last but not least, for a boy who always lacked self-confidence – make him feel less alone. “We’re never alone or helpless.

The force that moves the stars moves us too,” he says, quoting one of his many gurus – then looks again at the woman sitting next to him.

Cyprus is slowly losing its pariah status among EU partners though the country still has a way to go before proving its reliability, Finance Minister Harris Georgiades said on Monday. Can he see a light at the end of the tunnel?

Shooting probe The attorney-general has appointed a three-person committee to investigate the events which led to a plainclothes police officer shooting and severely injuring an alleged robber at a bakery in Lakatamia on Monday. The victim has since been pronounced clinically dead.

Fishermen opt out Up to 80 fishermen are expected to opt out of the profession this year, as overfishing and dwindling fish stocks draw dolphins closer to shore waters looking for food while the puffer fish continues to damage nets.

Zero credibility The previous government’s economic policy was wide off the mark, leading to devastating consequences for the country, former finance minister Michalis Sarris told the committee of inquiry looking into Cyprus’ near financial collapse.

Handbag at dawn Customs officials allegedly humiliated and interrogated a 59-year-old woman from Nicosia on Tuesday after claiming she had brought over a counterfeit handbag from the occupied areas. The woman said she passed into the north with the same bag as she left with.

Hardest hit The rate of unemployment at the end of last year stood at 11.8 per cent, according to a labour force survey for 2012 released by the Statistical Service yesterday. The highest rate of unemployment was observed among persons aged under 25 years, where it accounted for 27.8 per cent of the labour force of that age group.

06 FEATURE

Be Awesome: Modern Life for Modern Ladies by Hadley Freeman is out now

Myy life as a fashion misfit Sitting critically: Hadley Freeman (far left) reporting on a 2008 graduate show.

Right: on a piece for the Guardian when she worked as a changing room assistant for 24 hours in Top Shop

‘Who let a CHILD into the Dior show?’ I shouted, only for said child to turn around and show herself to be Kylie Minogue

By Hadley Freeman

I

t was, if memory serves, the Louis Vuitton fashion show and I was there in my very professional capacity as a fashion writer for The Guardian newspaper. But someone caught my eye who made me feel a little less than professionally excited. I grabbed my notebook and stepped down from my third-row seat to the front row. “Um, Kanye West?” “Yes?” he said, looking up at me through his sunglasses.

“Could you sign an autograph for me? It’s for my niece,” I said, handing him my notebook. “Sure - what’s her name?” “Uh, Hadley - that’s H, A, D, L…” The US Vogue editor Anna Wintour, who was sitting next to West, looked up and raised a sarcastic eyebrow.

Before becoming a full-time columnist and writer I worked on the fashion desk of The Guardian for eight years, but it’s fair to say I was never anyone’s idea of a fashion editor. I don’t own a single pair of tights that is hole-free and most mornings I forget to brush my hair. Anna Wintour I am not. While my grandmother studied to be a fashion designer and always loved reading French Vogue, I did not inherit her interest, let alone her natural style. My idea of dressing cleverly was to wear a pair of turquoise shorts with a turquoise shirt at summer camp when I was 12. I thought I was stylish; I looked like Smurfette.

Then, while I was at Oxford, I won a writing prize and on the back of that an editor at The Guardian asked me to write some stories. At the time, my biggest ambition was to be a film critic, but after I graduated I swanned off to study in Paris, where you can’t walk down the street without smacking your nose against a fashion story, so I just happened to write up a few of those, including a piece on the rise of Colette, the ridiculously trendy Parisian boutique, and another on the revival of the French label Balmain.

When I returned to London after my year abroad, realising I needed a job, I called up my editor at The Guardian.

“Well, you seem to like writing about fashion,” he mused. “How about

if you work on the fashion desk?” To my surprise - and to the enormous surprise of my parents – I started to love it. It was hard not to be utterly charmed by an industry that seemed to revolve around such extraordinary characters as the extravagantly behatted Isabella Blow; the deliriously camp man-mountain André Leon Talley, then US Vogue’s editor-atlarge; the cartoon-in-human-form Karl Lagerfeld; and Daphne Guinness, who looked more wild-bird-ofprey than human. It was impossible to imagine how any of these people could have functioned in the world outside fashion. At first I assumed that Lagerfeld, Guinness and the rest merely dressed up for the shows. But one Sunday night I went to the Curzon cinema in Soho and there was Daphne, teetering along in McQueen heel-less high heels, a pencil skirt and Chanel jacket, black and white hair in its usual beehive - at 7pm, on Shaftesbury Avenue.

But despite slowly learning about fashion, and coming to love it, I never grasped how to play the game. My reviews of fashion shows were a bit, shall we say, blunter than the ones fashion editors tend to write - for instance, describing the outfits in one Paul Smith collection as resembling those worn

by Desperate Dan, and claiming that no animals had ever died so much in vain as those in one particular Jean Paul Gaultier collection. As a result I was banned from a slew of shows,

My reviews of fashion shows were a bit, shall we say, blunter than the ones fashion editors tend to write

Karl Lagerfeld

from Versace to Paul Smith, either by having PRs phone me up to tell me of the ban, or simply sniffily refusing to allow me entrance to their show. They always thought they were inflicting some terrible punishment on me. I just saw it as extra shopping time.

My regular faux pas at the shows became legendary among my colleagues. There was the party in Paris when I hung out shyly by the bar, and a bearded man who appeared to be a tramp wandered up to me. To my surprise, he was English and while we made small talk I was wondering how on earth a homeless man had got past the door. Eventually, he headed off and a friend came fluttering up to me.

“Get you!” she shrieked. “He seemed very nice,” I shrugged. “Of course he’s nice - he’s Jarvis Cocker!” But perhaps my finest hour came at a Dior show when I shouted out “Who let a CHILD into the Dior show?”, only for said child to turn around and show herself to be Kylie Minogue.

Then there was the shopping.

Oh, the shopping! When you’re away for fashion weeks, ten weeks a year, surrounded by glamorous fashion editors, blowing hundreds of pounds in the Marni outlet store suddenly seems totally normal. Well, you’re in Milan - it would be crazy not to, right?

(My bank account begged to differ.)

This didn’t mean, though, that more shopping led to improved taste. I remember coming back from one typically expensive fashion week in Paris and showing my sister my new pair of pink Chanel shoes. “You bought those?” she asked, horrified. “Who are you, Paris Hilton?”

Now that I’m off the fashion desk, I don’t miss the shows and I definitely don’t miss having to read the ridiculous press releases consisting, sometimes, of not sentences but rather randomly strung-together adjectives.

But I do miss fashion; working with the industry taught me a kind of selfreliance I probably wouldn’t have gained if I’d had an office job, simply because it involved travelling around the world so much. More importantly, and somewhat ironically for a fashion job, it taught me not to judge people by their appearance; just because someone turns up to a fashion show wearing a recreation of a Japanese pagoda on their head, or is swathed in a gigantic velvet cloak, or wears heelless high heels, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be taken seriously. Life can be fun - have fun with it. And yes, I do still have that Kanye West autograph.

It’s on my dressing table, right next to my pink Chanel shoes.

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

For more information visit http://collectivebahce. wordpress.com or www. facebook.com/UtopiaCollectiva

07

Community gardening Before and after: the garden in Kaimakli

A disused park has become Nicosia’s first community garden.

ALIX NORMAN meets two of those behind it

T

he Oxford English Dictionary defi nes a collective as a cooperative enterprise, relating or shared by all members of the group. All well and good, but let’s face it, when we think of a collective, we likely envisage a bunch of scruffy idealists lolling on bean bags hoping to change the world by the light of a lava lamp. But nothing – and I do mean nothing – could be farther from these imaginings than the dedicated and industrious Utopia Collectiva, whose ongoing dedication to the community – especially in these times of crisis – is both innovative and timely.

Based in Nicosia, the group comprises eight impassioned individuals

Stepping stones: a path has been created

with more degrees than the Harvard faculty, and the practical knowledge and drive to move mountains.

Formed in January 2012, Utopia Collectiva is based on the principles of sustainability, local products, healthy lifestyle and above all, the idea of community. Highly-educated and extremely well-travelled, Stephanie Polycarpou and Anastasia Georgiou are two of the group’s founding members. “Each one of us has a special interest in activism,” says Stephanie, whose Masters in Communication Science has led to her interest in cultural project management. “Although we’re all freelancers in our chosen fields, each one of us translates our skills and knowledge to the Collective.”

It’s this pooling of know-how that

May 19, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

has allowed the group to set up Nicosia’s first Community Garden in Kaimakli. “We’d always hoped to set up a Community Garden,“ says Stephanie, “it’s hands on and advocates our principles of self-sufficiency. We had lots of ideas, and one of our number, Constantinos Georgiou, is a skilled landscape architect and farmer who markets his organic produce at the Municipal Market near Oxi roundabout. Other members had participated in similar projects in Europe, so we’ve had a wealth of expertise to draw from.”

Securing €7,500 in funding from the Youth Power Small Grants Advocacy allowed the group to make their plans a reality, and with the aid of the Municipality of Nicosia, the Community Garden Project was born. “We met with the Municipality, and they suggested we could adopt a space that was not currently being maintained,” she explains. Having examined various locations, the Collective chose a disused park in a corner of Kaimakli, close to the buffer zone and in a quiet residential neighbourhood, and began their work.

The Collective’s first move was to inspire and involve the local community. With houses bordering the park on two sides, it was crucial that local residents support the idea and get involved in the project. “Before we began the planting, we went round the neighbourhood handing out pots of herbs; we hoped the residents would take care of the pots and then join us to plant the herbs in the garden,” says Anastasia. “Then we planted some thyme and enclosed it with chicken wire. We wanted to see what would happen, and we were pleased to fi nd that it remained intact – nobody destroyed anything we’d done.

In fact, on the actual day we began planting the vegetable plot, the residents turned out in droves to help.

One of the children was so into it he planted half the garden!”

This idea of fostering an ethic of community responsibility is crucial to the survival of the project. “Any collaboration of this sort should involve the neighbourhood, the Collective, the authorities and volunteers.

The houses directly in front of the park saw what we were doing from day one,” says Stephanie, “And now some of the residents have already joined in. The Municipality gardeners have helped us a great deal, and we’ve had a lot of help from various

With houses bordering the park on two sides, it was crucial that local residents support the idea and get involved in the project

Local residents have got involved

organisations who have donated time, materials and even money to the success of the project. Premier Shukuroglou, for example, has donated organic fertilisers, and we’ve been given a good price on lots of plants.”

Under the shade of cypress, olive and pepper trees, the Collective have already started their planting with a full day’s work involving many of the local residents. “It’s a huge space, with a path running through the middle, and we decided to divide it into allotments and fi x the garden piece by piece,” says Stephanie. “We started with one end, organising the water supply - with the help of the Municipality - and planting a vegetable garden.” The Collective also hope to include constructions made from natural materials and paint the benches that are spaced around the park: “The idea is to make the park functional and beautiful, with herbs in the shade, pumpkins around the edge and plants everywhere.”

With such a great amount of help, the garden is sure to succeed. But what will happen to the produce?

“It’s a Community Garden,” Anastasia explains, “therefore the whole community will benefit. We’ve even talked about setting up a community kitchen based on what is grown in the garden. We are running the project for three months, and at the end of that time, we hope the community will take over the garden. Of course we will still be involved as individu-

als, but we think the transition will happen naturally.”

But the Collective’s activities won’t stop there, as Stephanie explains: “Our aim is to transfer knowledge to the youth, to pass on the idea of the Collective and its benefits, ultimately creating a network for this type of initiative in Cyprus. We’re pleased to see that a lot of people are now beginning projects similar to ours, and we’d like to share our knowledge.” The Collective have organised a number of theme days, focusing on initiatives such as self-sufficiency (in which participants will have access to experts’ knowledge in upcycling, baking bread, mending clothes etc) and natural building techniques.

And come September, the group will be working closely with a number of schools and students to pass on their skills and expertise in collective gardening.

With basic survival now a very real issue for much of the populace, many are now advocating a return to the land in a bid for self-sufficiency. And it seems Utopia Collectiva is ahead of the curve: “We could see it coming,” Stephanie says. “And we knew what would happen. In the month when the final structure of our plan was getting the go-ahead, the whole of the Cyprus system collapsed. In a very short period we went from being seen as romantics, hippies and idealists to being experts in a field which is now necessary to the survival of our society.”

08 TRAVEL

Freeze frame: polar bears walk the ice at Hudson Bay

To witness the huge gathering of polar bears in remotest Canada each autumn, so beloved of author IRVINE WELSH, you need to book now

Going on a bear hunt T he polar bear follows the ice. It’s what they do.

The problem is, there’s none here in Churchill, Manitoba, a frontier town of around 900 hardy souls on the fringe of Hudson Bay. Even seasonal pancake ice, forming in preparation for its big freeze, is almost absent. So the local bear population lies deeper in the tundra, sheltering from the sun in scrubby woods, too

far out for us nosy tourists.

I love bears. I just don’t care about them that much. If I did, I probably wouldn’t come here. The eco-friendly train, known as the polar bear express, takes 16 hours and I’m a busy sort. As my fl ight burns 900kg of CO², I’ve already melted a good few feet of ice cap. Theoretically, there should be no shortage of that. The fresh water from the Churchill River freezes as it flows into the Hudson Bay, icing half of this huge stretch of water.

The bears ride this non-permanent ice as long as they can. It’s richer in food than the pack ice, letting in the light, therefore growing the algae to attract the fish, which bring the seals. Then, at the top of the food chain, the bears appear.

The nomadic nature of the polar bear makes their population hard to calculate. Current estimates range from 20,000-25,000, with 60 per cent of them in Canada, around 1,000 in the West Hudson Bay area. They cover a large home range of 3,000 square miles, displaying high seasonal fidelity. Their main drive is to get on to the ice from autumn to spring.

In autumn, the bears are emerg-

ing from a state of walking hibernation, still mobile while their metabolism operates at the same level as a sleeping black bear’s. Global warming loses them a week’s feeding time per decade and this may rise. The number of cubs produced is regulated by female fat ratios. Three used to be common, now one is the norm.

My wife and I stay at the Lazy Bear Lodge, which also runs tours.

It’s a comfortable spot, with friendly and knowledgeable staff. They lament the warm weather, lack of ice, and therefore bears. Meals are excellent, with local food such as braised caribou, arctic char and homemade blueberry pie. It isn’t licensed for alcohol but there are basic bars in town.

The next morning we get into an old school bus and drive to the edge of the tundra, where Arctic Crawlers are parked. The crawler is a 40-seat vehicle with big windows, a rear observation deck and a sign warning you not to feed or “bait” the bears.

The scenery appears, on fi rst glance, to be uniform, then starts to become nuanced and the result is hypnotic. The terrain is mesmeris-

A bear reaches up to a tourist laden truck

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SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

09

ing: ponds of fresh bluish water nestle in the brown scrub and piles of rock by green moss and lichen, broken only by an occasional sprouting fi r tree. But there are no bears.

Suddenly, excitement grips the vehicle as we see an adult male, striding across the prairie. He’s pretty far away, however, and as the crawler tries to get closer, he moves behind some rocks. The bulk of the day is spent searching the prairie without getting close. Then, as we get into the bus to drive back, two large bears are casually slumped on opposite sides of the road. One intimidates a justifiably nervous pack of husky sleigh dogs, chained to the ground.

Another basks in the sun. Cameras click, then as the light fades it’s time to go back to our lodge.

The next day, the temperature has dramatically fallen. The bears, however, continue to tease; people gasp when one seems to be coming close, groan when it heads off or collapses behind a rock. I’m witnessing the strange power these animals have over us, by virtue of their scarcity; holidays, even life experiences, are vindicated, or otherwise, by the whims of these bears.

With a gust of snow, the temperature drops further. Rock pools freeze. And then on cue: a proper polar bear experience. One 10ft pearshaped patroller, a young adult male, lumbers up to the vehicle, posing for photos like a red carpet veteran. It sets off a frenzy as folk jostle for position like paparazzi. Abruptly, as if

One 10ft pear-shaped patroller, a young adult male, lumbers up to the vehicle, posing for photos like a red carpet veteran his PR person has signalled him, the bear quietly slips off to his private screening in the rocks.

His abrupt absence makes us briefly embarrassed at our digital recording greed. But this is quickly replaced by the acknowledgment of what we’ve just shared. There’s something so visceral and humbling about being this close to such a powerful animal in its natural habitat. I sensed this moment would stay with every stranger on that observation deck. One woman, looking at her young daughter, informed me, “If she has kids, they’ll probably never be able to see anything like this.”

This trip was marvellous, with the caveat that it’s for bear nuts only.

It’s a relatively sedentary excursion and you (sensibly) can’t leave the truck. In the two days it took to write this article, we have lost, statistically speaking, a polar bear or two and gained around 421,856 new humans. All will grow up wanting food, homes, cars and travel. Some might even want to see polar bears in their natural habitat.

So maybe it’s daft to feel sorry for the polar bear, relentlessly being phased out of existence. Our pity should be saved for the next generations of our own species. Maybe we can turn it around; then again, perhaps asking humans to stop following the money is a bit like asking the polar bear to stop following the ice.

May 19, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

Cruise the Seychelles this summer with Century Travel To mark the launch of the summer season, Century Travel, the only worldwide luxury cruise specialist in Cyprus is now offering the perfect summer holiday onboard Variety Cruises’ ms Pegasus, with an amazing Gardens of Eden cruise to the magnificent Seychelles! An exciting voyage with an exclusive seven-night itinerary where you will discover the Seychelles the best way: by small ship!

Variety Cruises’ signature style of small-ship cruising offers a new way to cruise with life-enriching journeys for inquisitive minds. The twin-hulled Pegasus accommodates up to 44 guests in a relaxed, congenial atmosphere with magnificent sea views. You can relax with friends

in the handsomely appointed lounge, browse in the well-stocked library or enjoy ocean-view dining in the convivial and spacious restaurant area. For your added relaxation, Pegasus offers a zen mini spa located on the Lower Deck with massage services provided on the Upper Deck.

Hop from island to island in perfect harmony with this unspoilt paradise and visit islands which will capture your senses. Everywhere amazing fauna and flora.

Snorkel or dive and watch an amazing underwater world. Walk into centuries old rain forests with unique species of wild life and see the rare black parrots, the world famous Coco de Mer palm trees or giant land tortoises. The Gardens of Eden itin-

erary embarks from Mahe (Seychelles), visiting Aride Island & Anse Lazio, Cousin & Curieuse, Praslin & Baie St Anne, Coco Island & St Anne Island, and La Digue.

The perfect summer getaway cruising an unspoilt paradise and visiting islands which will capture your senses.

Century Travel’s exclusive fare of €2,369 per person includes flights, transfers, a seven-night cruise on full board basis, business class lounge in Abu Dhabi, two-nights’ accommodation in a 4-star hotel in Abu Dhabi and with departures in May, June, July, August, September and October.

For further information call 70000970 or visit www.centurycyprus.com

Hospitable prices for all on the Salamis Filoxenia The Salamis Filoxenia begins its new routes for 2013 on June 5, travelling to combinations of favourite Greek islands and enchanting destinations in Greece and the Holy Land.

Great weekend and longer cruises of 4-day, 5-day, 7-day and 8-day duration take in Corfu, Kefalonia, Zakynthos, Kalamata, Nafplion, Piraeus, Mykonos, Santorini, Syros (Tino), Ayios Nikolaos, Crete, Alexandroupolis, Volos, Patmos, Lesvos, Kalymnos, Kos, Leros, Chios, Samos, Rhodes, Symi and Castelorizo.

During all cruises children aged up to 12 travel free, paying only port charges, when sharing a cabin with two adults.

The Salamis Filoxenia has nine passenger decks and can accommodate up to 800 passengers in comfortable cabins of different categories and luxurious suites, all equipped with private facilities and TV LCD. All cabins are above sea level.

Enjoy a cruise on Orient Queen at affordable price The picturesque harbour of Ayios Nikolaos in Crete, the beautiful Edipsos, the Cycladic Andros, Volos Argonauts, Flor di Levante Zakynthos, Heraklion in Crete Leventogenna, Corfu, Kefalonia, Cos, Milos and Mykonos are just some of the stops on Louis Cruises timetables on board the popular Orient Queen this summer.

With 355 cabins, the ship can accom-

modate 912 passengers in spacious and impressive public areas and cabins. Destinations featuring the Hellenism of yesterday and today are available at affordable prices that include recreation and free travel for kids.

For more information call 7777 8555 or visit click www.louiscruises.com

10 FOOD & DRINK WINES with George Kassianos

A devil in the home Some of the finest wines in the world come from an impressive Chilean winery

A

mong the many things that impress me about Chile, the size of Concha y Toro come almost top.

It is the big boy of Chilean winemaking, with more bottles than we can keep track of and a distribution network that boggles the mind. While quality varies, they are capable of producing a good wine, as the Reserva series of Casillero del Diablo suggests.

The beautiful vineyards of Casillero del Diablo are home to some of the fi nest wines in the world. But few outsiders know the dark secret that lies beneath them. For the locals he celsay that in the depths of the lar lives the Devil himself. A tale e wine so infamous, they named the Casillero del Diablo, the Devil’s Cellar.

For a country with so many tures, different people and cultures, I was not surprised that Chile gend. is steeped in myth and legend.

Check their art, folk song and g enwhat you fi nd is an enduring able thusiasm for potions, available in any marketplace, both to cure common ailments and to ward off evil spirits. d The best story I heard concerns the origins of the land shrouded in mystery.

When the Creator fi nished making the rest of the world, so the story goes, He had many pieces left over – lakes and forests, meadows and hills, mountains and deserts. Rather than let so much beauty go to waste, He tossed them all together into the remotest corner of the earth. And so Chile was formed.

But one of the mostt he amusing stories concerns the wines of Casillero del Diablo. The story that the devil himself lurked in the depths of the winery was actually put about by the owner of the cel-

lars, Don Melchor de Concha y Toro, to deter would-be thieves. In fact, the word is that the wily nobleman even had a tunnel built from his mansion, so he could walk the cellars, clad in a long black cloak, keeping an eye on things and giving credence to the rumour.

But the taste in the bottle is not a rumour. Starting with 2012 Shiraz Rosé Reserva, Rapel Valley, Abv 13%. A devilishly delicious dry drop bursting with flavours and aromas of fresh red forest fruits, particularly strawberries and raspberries with an herby edge. The fi nish is crisp and dr dry with a hint of mouth-watering spice. Enjoy this wine as ap an aperitif or with salads, grilled chicke a treat for prawns and chicken, c cold cuts as well as fresh fruit.

Th slightly chilled 2012 PiThe N not Noir Reserva, Valle de Casablanca Abv 13.5%. A staple of blanca, Burgu Burgundy in France, Pinot Noir se is a semi opaque wine with light body and medium acidity. It can be described in terms of its be best com complex ripe red fruit aromas tha are accompanied by floral that an earthy notes. Pinot Noir and te tends to be lighter in style t than many other red wines, and is recognised by its elegance and fi nesse. Packed with flavours of summer fruits, this Pinot Noir is medium bodied with hints of coffee and chocolate.

The fi nish is elegant and complex.

Pinot Noir is the most flexible red wine in terms of matching with meat, poultry, vegetarian dishes and even some seafood, such as salmon and tuna. Foods with light aromatic spices w go well with fruity styles will of Pinot Noir. Due to its delicate nature, it is best not to overwhelm Pinot Noir with dishes that are too powerful or hearty - keep it light.

2011 Merlot Reserva, Rapel Valley Abv 13.5%. Was tested next. With it’s origins in the Bordeaux region of France, Merlot can be found in all corners of the wine-growing map and is now the second most harvestnds ed red variety in Chile. Merlot tends ity to be a smooth-bodied and fruity oth wine with soft tannins. This smooth nd Merlot perfectly combines plum and herbaceous flavours with smoky ceity dar wood aromas. This is a fruity wine with a full, rich texture.a diMerlot is a great match for mediry, um-weight dishes, including poultry, ds. pork, pasta and more robust salads. nic, If the Merlot is particularly tannic, ala little sprinkling of chopped walhe nuts or pecans as a garnish in the on dish will help reduce the impression lot of the tannin. Furthermore, Merlot ity is also a good ingredient for quality marinades and sauces. hThe most famous red devil othd er than the champions of England n is the 2010 Cabernet Sauvignon %.

Reserva, Vale Central, Abv13.5%. o Cabernet Sauvignon is able to y adopt successfully in almost every d type of soil. This classically styled as Cabernet Sauvignon has aromas rand flavours of blackberries, cherries and cassis with subtle notes of ins clove and nutmeg. With fi rm tannins s is that tend to soften every day, this ne an excellent value for Chilean wine fans. ect Cabernet Sauvignon is a perfect udmatch for flavourful food, includhes ing red meats, herbaceous dishes

and mature hard cheeses. It works particularly well with meats that contain some fat for example rib eye steak or roast duck – the fat from the meat that coats the palate balances the youthful tannins in the wine. As Ca Cabernet ages, it becomes less inten tense, thereby altering the type of dis that is best suited to it. Intense dish red reduction sauces are no longer as suc successful a match with older Cabern ernets.

And fi nally back to Shiraz and the 2011 Shiraz Reserva, Rapel Valley Abv 13.5%. From the Rapel Valley Vineyard, we taste this lovely Sh Shiraz.

Quite complex cedary notes her with a certain pencil-shaving here, n fi nesse and quite exotic, incenselik spice. Big, dry, quite complex like pal palate.

There’s a dustiness to this, but at the same time a terrific fruit sw sweetness with lots of blackcurrant con concentration.

Lovely hint of somethi thing liquoricy, but very juicy and del deliciously vibrant, fresh fi nish with lov lovely fruit. Big, bold and rich, Shiraz matches particularly well with ful avoured grilled meats and full-fl gam as well as hard cheeses and game, pep peppery foods that complement the win wine’s spicy qualities. Try it with a rar roast venison fi llet, char-grilled rare ll fi llet of beef and barbequed foods.

Ch Cheese wise, a mature cheddar will cer certainly fit the bill.

Imp Imported and distributed by Ghalan lanos

Taiwan dumpling eatery tops 101 Best Asian Restaurants poll

By Elaine Lies A Taiwanese eatery famed for its dumplings was crowned Asia's best restaurant, while restaurants in Beijing claimed the lion's share of spots in the top ten of a new survey of the food-obsessed region's best dining.

Din Tai Fung in the Taiwanese capital Taipei was ranked number one in the inaugural 101 Best Restaurants in Asia list, released on Thursday by the US-based food website The Daily Meal, which does similar polls in the United States and Europe.

"Ultimately we chose... a place best-known for doing one thing absolutely perfectly," said Colman Andrews, editorial director of The Daily Meal, adding that they

were aware their selection of the restaurant, which has spun off into an international chain, would be controversial.

Half of the top ten restaurants were in Beijing, with Duck de Chine - noted for its Peking duck at second place, and the Chinesestyle nouvelle cuisine Green T House at third.

"Our feeling is that Shanghai has had a good reputation as a restaurant city for some time, due both to a strong regional cuisine and the early incursions of Western celebrity chefs... but that Beijing is definitely catching up," said Andrews.

"It's an imperfect analogy, but in a way the culinary contrast between the two, mirrors that

Tom Cruise and Din Tai Fung president Yang Chi hua between New York City and Washington DC. The former is more famous as a food city, but Washington increasingly offers serious competition - usually just with a little less fanfare."

Food critics, writers and longterm foreign residents in Asia, among others, voted on a list of restaurants pulled together over a six-month nomination period, considering cuisine, style, value and overall buzz, to select the top 101.

Beijing's Temple Restaurant was fourth and Capital M, a modern Australian restaurant overlooking Tiananmen Square, was fifth. Another Beijing establishment, Dali Court, hit seventh.

Varq, in the Indian capital New Delhi, came in sixth. The top ten was rounded out by Hong Kong's venerable Lung King Heen and Michel Bras TOYA, Japon, a Michelin three-star restaurant on Japan's northernmost island of

Hokkaido.

Andrews said that Asia's flourishing restaurant scene was developing some interesting new trends. Five Indian restaurants made the list, including one in Bangalore.

"India, indeed, will continue to develop in restaurant terms - and I hope not entirely through the efforts of the top hotel chains - but I also think South Korea shows great promise, and frankly I'm surprised that more of its top restaurants didn't place on our list."

The list included restaurants in Cambodia, China, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Japan, Macau, South Korea, Singapore, Sri Lanka, Taiwan, Thailand and Vietnam.

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

11 RECIPES

with Maria Socratous

Sunday lunch Enjoy fabulous roasts which satisfy family and friends

Slow-Roast Fennel and Coriander Pork Belly with Chilli-Spiked Salsa Verde Serves 8 1tbsp sea salt 2tsp coriander seeds 2tsp fennel seeds 3kg pork belly, ribs removed but retained and skin scored For the salsa Large handful parsley, finely chopped Small handful each of basil and mint, leaves picked and finely chopped 3 anchovy fillets, finely chopped 1 red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped 2tbsp capers, drained, rinsed and roughly chopped 75-100ml olive oil Juice of 1 lemon to taste Preheat the oven to its highest temperature. With a pestle and mortar, roughly crush the salt, coriander and fennel seeds, then rub all over the pork. Put the ribs in the middle of a roasting tin and rest the pork belly on top.

Roast for 30 minutes, reduce the oven temperature to 140C/gas 1 and cook for 6-7 hours until tender. If the crackling isn’t as crisp as you’d like, increase the temperature again at the end of the roasting time and cook for a further 15-20 minutes.

For the salsa, put the herbs, anchovies, chilli and capers in a bowl. Drizzle in the oil and mix until you have a luscious green sauce. Season with salt and pepper and lemon juice to taste, and serve with the pork.

Rib of Beef with Porcini, Tarragon and Port Gravy Serves 8 3.5kg bone rib of beef Vegetable oil for rubbing 2 red onions, roughly sliced 1.2 litres beef stock 6 fresh tarragon sprigs 10 dried porcini mushrooms 2tbsp flour 150ml port, plus extra to finish Splash of red wine vinegar Preheat the oven to 190C/gas 5. Rub the beef all over with oil and season.

Put the onions in a roasting tin and sit the beef on top. Pour in half the stock and add 4 tarragon sprigs. Roast for 25 minutes, turn the heat to 170C/ gas 3.5 and cook for 1hour 30 minutes for medium rare (add 20 minutes for medium). Don’t let the tin dry out – keep adding splashes of stock.

Meanwhile, soak the porcini in 300ml boiling water for 30 minutes, dry, chop and set aside, reserving the

Whyyoushouldeat Lemons Lemons. Not the fruit with the most positive of connotations but my word they’re good for you. A genetic hybrid of sour orange and citron, their origin remains a mystery, though it’s thought they may have stemmed from southern India. Although known in Roman times, lemons were not widely grown; the first large scale cultivation of lemons began in Genoa in the 15th century. Transported to the New World on the Hispaniola, lemons have long been associated with sea voyages: though the attributes of Vitamin C were obviously unknown at the time, it was this fruit that stopped sailors dying in droves from scurvy.

It’s this vitamin C that is the obvious benefit of lemons and lemon juice.

May 19, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

Rich in the vitamin, lemons help fight the symptoms of different respiratory disorders – including asthma – and, due to their antibacterial properties, can help cure throat infections and boost the immune system. And when you’re at the feverish stage, a glass of lemon juice can increase perspiration and help decrease your body’s temperature.

While we’re on the subject of drinking the juice, rather than eating the fruit, a glass of lemon water every day will reduce your body’s overall acidity; although lemons contain citric acid, they’re actually one of the most alkaline foods around. Lemon juice is also an aid to the digestive process, helping to flush out unwanted materials and encouraging the liver to produce

soaking juice.

Remove the beef from the oven and place on a board loosely covered.

Strain the juices from the tin, skim off the fat, reserving 2tbsp. Heat the fat in a pan, stir in the flour and cook to a thick paste, add the 150ml port, stirring, and bubble until the alcohol smell has gone. Strain in the roasting juices and porcini juice, stirring to a glossy gravy that just coats the back of a spoon (add the rest of the stock if you wish). Stir in the porcini, add an extra splash of port, the vinegar and the remaining tarragon, chopped.

Check the seasoning and serve with the beef.

Slow-Cooked Shoulder of Lamb with Fennel and Marsala Serves 6 g shoulder of lamb 2.5kg

400ml chicken stock 100ml dry white wine 3 fennel bulbs, thickly sliced 2 onions, cut into wedges 2tsp fennel seeds 200ml Marsala or Madeira Preheat the oven to 160C/gas 3.

Season the lamb well and put in a roasting tin with 150ml of the stock and the white wine.

Roast for 2 hours, add the fennel and onions to the roasting tin and sprinkle over the fennel seeds, adding another splash of stock if it looks dry.

Cook for a further 1½ hours until tender. Remove the lamb to a warmed platter together with the vegetables.

Strain the meat juices from the tin into a small pan. Add the remaining stock and the Marsala, and season.

Bring to a simmer, then reduce to a flavoursome sauce. Once the lamb has rested, serve it along with the sauce vegetables and sauce.

COMPILED BY ALIX NORMAN ORMAN bile, thus reducing heartburnn and constipation, and – at the other end of the scale – preventing the dehydration caused by prolonged bouts of diarrhoea. Also a good way to ensure the health of one’s urinary tract, lemons help prevent the for-mation of kidney stones andd act as a diuretic, increasing the rate of urination and therefore the amount of toxins being flushed from your system.

Lemons are a great source of potassium, extremely beneficial for dealing with stress-related diseases; the mineral can ease high blood pressure, keeping your heart healthy, your body calm and your

mind relaxed.

Bizarrely, the aromatherapy oil is frequently used to treat insomnia, and yet it is often recommended as an aid to increasing concentration and keeping the mind alert.

Best of all, lemons are a boon during bikini season, helping your body to burn fat faster, and acting as an aid to weight

loss. But Bu their beauty-boosting benefits don’t end there: while eating le lemons will help your skin stay healthy, youthful and fresh, their alkaline nature fights bacteria on the skin, helping prevent breakouts during beach season; many products ddesigned to treat acne, eczema and blackheads contain a considerable amount of lemon extract. And if you want your lovely locks to shine in the sun, there’s nothing better than lemons: not only will they lighten your hair, they also alleviate dandruff and stimulate hair growth. If life hands you lemons, make lemonade, and you’ll be in tip-top shape come the summer.

12 FOOD & DRINK RESTAURANT REVIEW by Nan Mackenzie OTHER PLACES TO TRY NICOSIA DISTRICT Trattoria Romantica Evagora Pallikaridi Street, Tel: 22 377276 La Pasteria Spyrou Kyprianou Ave, Tel: 22 460460 Il Forno Ledras Street, Tel: 22 456454 Marzano Diagorou Ave, Tel: 22 663740Pizza Mia Prevezis Street, Tel: 22 676233 Da Paolo K. Paleologou Street, Tel: 22 438538 Il Baccaro Prodromos Ave, Tel: 22 676969 Pene e Vino Verenikis Street, Tel: 22 784545 Pizza Mia Spyrou Kyprianou Ave, Tel: 22 374444 Occhio Alkeou Street, Tel: 22 255111 Diosmos & Kanella Onasagorou Str, Tel: 22 681070 Vivere Holiday In, Tel: 22 712712

LIMASSOL DISTRICT Artima Charoupomylos Laniti, Vasilissis, old port, Tel: 25 820466 Pasta Mia Kolonakiou 26, Tel: 25 376999 Pizza Express Akadimias street, Tel: 25 318709 Al Pesto Amathountos Street, Tel: 25 328782 La Boca Columbia Plazza, Tel: 25 278000 Vivaldi Four Seasons Hotel, Tel: 25 858000 San Lorenzo Amathoundos Avenue, Tel: 25 322922 Baguette Brasserie Andrea Themistocleous Str, Tel: 25 107398

LARNACA DISTRICT Al Dente Athinon Ave Tel: 24 664540 Casa Mia Ristorante Italiano Okeania street, Oroklini, Tel: 24 644575 Italia Spaghetteria Academia Centre, Tel: 24 629450 Just Italian Kappari Street, Paralimni, Tel: 99 337890 La Casa Di Napa Solomou street, Ayia Napa, Tel: 23 722137 Zizi Ayia Napa, Tel: 23 723823 Zizi Protaras, Tel: 23 831414

Comfort food in Anarita Olivio Restaurant, Paphos

P

aphos has a good selection of rural eateries that genuinely try to please their customers. The owners aren’t pretending to offer ‘fine dining’ but offer instead a genuine warm welcome, the chance to eat good food, drink decent local wines and experience an atmosphere so authentic that it’s difficult not to be charmed by it, with the result one can ignore the occasional slip up.

People only want to know sufficient to then go try it themselves; they need to know if it’s expensive with true value, or if just expensive.

They will also be comforted if the chef has a genuine level of passion and integrity for his craft and isn’t going to be tipped over the mental precipice after table 5 gleefully requests chips to accompany his home made Pizza.

We all eat out, and all try new dishes but we also know deep down that regardless of the so called food revolution that nobody has yet improved on bacon and eggs, and if there’s Shepherds Pie on the menu, there is no point ordering anything else, so a menu that incorporates a strong ‘comfort food’ formula is well on its way to becoming a popular destination for diners who with limited cash in hand are still needful of a good night of honest feeding and drinking.

Opened in 2012, the Olivio Mediterranean restaurant and wine bar is run by Cypriot born Pambos and English wife Elaine, both are heavily into comfort not only food wise but in the way they have created the interior with good, comfy seats, proper wine glasses, nice crockery and cutlery and a genuine, smiling and ever helpful waitress.

Chaps also feel cosseted with draught English ale on tap and for those visitors lacking wifi in their villa then you can combine communicating back home with a glass or two of wine, while nibbling on warm black olives, some Brushetta or a plate of g rich mussels Picante with steaming garlic and tomato sauce.

The owners have a delightfully relaxed attitude to their customers with no formalised eat-

ing order and yes here you can with confidence order chips with your pizza and no one cares as long as the customer is happy. The food is purely Mediterranean with compass readings leaning more towards mainland Italy so the ingredients fairly sizzle with pesto, balsamic, prosciutto,

Salads with pomegranate, dried apricots and figs, pine nuts, cherry tomatoes - all the true essential taste goodies Parma ham, rocket and fresh handmade pastas. Salads with pomegranate, dried apricots and figs, pine nuts, cherry tomatoes - all the true essential taste goodies one would expect to find in a passionately run Mediterranean kitchen.

Chicken Olivio, stuffed with spinach and mushrooms and wrapped in

bacon, is one hit, as is the four cheese ravioli Toscana, and my fi llet of sea bass hit the spot beautifully. The menu truly has something comforting for everyone and it’s credit to this husband and wife team that they have also invested a good deal of time and thought into their wine list without forgetting their avowed loyalty to good local producers as well as their selection of decently priced imported Italian wines.

Main course salads offer a classic plate display of pure Med dining with mixed prawns, mussels and crab in a dill and honey dressing for €9.90, pastas from Penne Arabiata to Fettuccini beef fi llet in a creamy saffron sauce for €8.90. Steak lovers can go blue, rare, or medium, without fear that chef will succumb to popping a handful of Zanex and neither will the bill cause your tooth enamel to flake off as the prime fi llet steaks come in at under €20 with beef stroganoff at only €12.50.

The finale had to be when chef wrapped me in his warm sticky toffee pudding embrace - well I am now of an age where food has taken the place of sex in my life so I enjoy this type of culinary cuddle. Maybe the next step now for Elaine and Pambos would be to put a mirror over every diners table!

PAPHOS DISTRICT Cavallini 65 Poseidonos Avenue, Tel: 26 964164 Grazie Ristorante Anastasias & Theoskepastis Street, Tel: 26 818298 Mare E Monti Aphrodite’s Ave, Tel: 26 967979 Risto La Plazza Cafe Bar Restaurant Alkminis street, Tel: 26 819921 Ristorante Bacco Elysium Hotel, Tel: 26 844444

VITAL STATISTICS SPECIALTY Mediterranean WHERE Olivio Restaurant, Anarita village, Paphos CONTACT 99 126 992- 26 423385 WHEN closed Tuesdays PRICE very reasonable and good value from €15 upwards

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

games The Sims 3 Worlds Bundle Journey to new worlds and meet new Sims as you explore the wonders that await in The Sims 3 Worlds Bundle. Celebrities and the rich flock to Hidden Springs in search of relaxation, escape, and the seemingly miraculous healing powers found in the woods and waters. Is it really magic at work? In rich and charming Monte Vista, visit renowned museums and learn the culinary arts on an authentic wood fire oven. Discover a landscape rich with charm and money, where villas featuring sweeping views dot the gently rolling hills.

The Sims 3 Hidden Springs Discover the Magic The curious magical properties of Hidden Springs have intrigued many for ages. Will your Sims find the Fountain of Youth and become forever young?

All-New Sims and Stories An exclusive retreat for the rich and the famous? Or a mysterious

discs Vampire Weekend

world with curious healing powers? Whatever the answer, one thing is certain: the Sims you meet in Hidden Springs will have all-new stories that are out of this World.

Exclusive New Items Customise your game with dozens of exclusive objects, clothing, and hair that are only available with Hidden Springs.

Make a variety of breads, calzones, lasagnes, and pizzas!

The Sims 2 Legacy Family Meet the Monty Family from Veronaville! Before they started their dire feud with the Capps, the Monty family spent peaceful days in Monte Vista.

Exclusive New Items Discover exclusive objects and clothing only available in Monte Vista.

The Sims 3 Monte Vista The Wood Fire Oven Gameplay Item Expand your Sims’ culinary world with new recipes!

Console: PC

Agnetha Faltskog

Of course a cheese store has a tiny grater business card

grater comes in a protective sleeve, which probably also helps to minimise the inevitable cheese smell from permeating your pocket.

Since printing its address and contact details on a slice of Munster cheese would probably do more harm than good for Bon Vivant, the Brazilian-based cheese shop hired ad agency JWT to come up with something better. And in every way possible, this miniature cheese grater business card is a much better idea.

So as not to also turn your wallet into a pile of shredded leather, the May 19, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

JVC Kenwood’s heads-up nav system keeps your eyes on the road Sure, in-car GPS navigation systems make it easier to know where you’re headed. But it’s all for naught if you’re so distracted checking the map that you end up rear-ending someone. So to help ensure you’re at least keeping one eye on the road, JVC Kenwood’s new MDV-737HUD nav system includes a see-through heads-up display that sits right next to your rear-view mirror.

A more traditional and highly detailed map

iSwap Faces iSwap Faces won’t change the world, it won’t reform the political landscape, and it certainly won’t find the cure for cancer - but it will make you laugh. If photo apps are your poison then this is the one you’ll want lighting up your screen.

Incredibly easy to use - just import your two images and then rotate the faces at the swipe of a well-trained finger, either swap faces between the same image or from one to another, then post the results to Facebook or Twitter and let your friends see!

The app saves images at nine times the resolution of an iPhone screen, making for crystal clear razor sharp images that can’t fail to raise a smile. www.itunes.apple.com

Primal Scream More Light There is a tendency to think of Primal Scream as precisely the sum of their parts: a dash of Rolling Stones; a hint of Kraftwerk; a lingering aftertaste of Jesus & Mary Chain. The truth is that the band transcend their influences and More Light is conclusive proof of that. The five years since the last album have proved to be fruitful ones. The opening 2013 is a notable rocker, enlivened by fruity sax and evil gusts of guitar from almost member Kevin Shields. Much of what follows is acoustic-based, notably River of Pain, complete with string section, Tenement Kid and Culturecide. Invisible City and Sideman are unreconstructed rockers while Goodbye Johnny gets wistful. Robert Plant has his paws all over the nouveau swamp Elimination Blues, while gentle psychedelia abounds elsewhere.

By Pete Clark

is still available via a pop-out LCD display in the dashboard, but the smaller HUD, which uses the same LCOS (liquid crystal on silicon) technology as a projector, provides simplified directions and easy-to-read instructions.

You don’t need a wookiee to build this laser-cut falcon puzzle There are endless situations where a Wookiee co-pilot can come in handy, from repairing intergalactic spacecraft, to tearing

Endomondo Endomondo Sports Tracker App puts a whole lot of va va boom into your daily exercise plan, allowing you to track any outdoor activity with the exact number of calories, speed, distance and above all duration expended.

Because the USP’s are many and varied; there are fun filled features such as the ability to get friends pre-recorded motivational diatribes streamed live to your device if you’re in need of a shake up. Plus there’s audio feedback from the app itself for every mile or kilometre you manage (your personal fitness coach if you will) - seriously handy when you’re flagging on the third lap of your local park.

There are plenty of other exercise apps on the market, but there’s a very good reason why Endomodo has been downloaded by well over 15 million people thus far; because it’s comprehensive, incredibly well designed and actually makes it (shock horror) more enjoyable to exercise. www.play.google.com

people’s arms off. But when it comes to assembling this miniature laser-cut Millennium Falcon puzzle, you won’t need a big walking carpet, just a pair of scissors, pliers, and plenty of patience.

Available from Strapya World, this puzzle assembles and stays together thanks to a series of small folding metal tabs - so you don’t need tape, glue, or solder either. There’s also a tiny R2-D2 version if spaceships aren’t your thing, and both come with a display stand for showing off your handiwork.

TOYSFORTHEBOYS

Modern Vampires of the City While popular, to date New York’s Vampire Weekend have often been considered too clever by half with their Ivy League backgrounds, University Challenge lyrics and smart sweaters - a Wes Anderson movie on record. With this third album, their afropop mimickry has vanished and what’s left is a gift for sparkling melody that deserves to make this an essential summer soundtrack. There are baroque flourishes on Don’t Lie and Step and barely a guitar in sight as the synths buzz and fizz on the tremendous Diane Young.

As well as some of their most energetic moments in Unbelievers and the galloping Worship You, they also find a new stillness on several tracks that shows a band getting more interesting as it grows up.

By David Smyth

A Back in 2004, Agnetha Faltskog failed to reach the UK Top 10 or the American chart at all with My Colouring Book, and the former Abba siren seemed set for money-counting retirement. Now comes A. Tellingly, she’s neglected to write anything, aside from the closing I Keep Them on the Floor Beside My Bed, and the results are phoned in rather than emoted. Flatly co-produced and mostly written by Jörgen Elofsson, best known for his work with Westlife and Kelly Clarkson, it’s shrill where it should be stately (bar the lovely, rueful opener The One Who Loves You Now) and unimaginatively derivative of Westlife and Clarkson where it should be bursting with ideas. She’s 63: it’s hard to imagine that this isn’t her final bow.

By John Aizlewood

websites&apps

TECHNOLOGY 13

14 FILM FILM REVIEW by Preston Wilder

SIX DVD ALTERNATIVES A half-dozen films to check out when the multiplex lets you down

but it’s still fairly cherishable, a literal shaggy-dog story as our hero (a put-upon loser) goes looking for his lost pet. Along the way we meet a dog guru, author of the bestselling My Life, My Dog, My Strength (Volumes I and II), a truculent neighbour who refuses to admit that he likes jogging, a pizza restaurant whose logo is a rabbit on a motorcycle – this troubles our hero greatly – and a random man who likes to paint people’s cars: “Sir, I took it upon myself to paint your vehicle blue…”

TAKE THIS WALTZ. Michelle Williams: what an actress. She’s girlish in this one – blue toenails, red T-shirt reading “Freeloader”, lots of sputtering and frowning – and she’s married to Seth Rogen. The marriage is happy, despite (or because of) being based on friendship more than passion, but then she falls for the artist who lives across the street and realises (in the words of her troubled sister-in-law) that “Life has a gap in it. It just does”. An odd duck, full of unrealistic dialogue and eccentric fl ights of fancy – but it’s offbeat and not at all stodgy, the colours are eyepopping, and Michelle Williams … well, words fail me.

THE MASTER. Actually wondered whether to include this one: it’s bound to turn up on the big screen sooner or later, maybe at the Friends of the Cinema like Moonrise Kingdom – but that won’t be till autumn at the earliest (if at all), and that’s too long to wait for one of the best American fi lms of 2012. Joaquin Phoenix (a stunning, terrifying performance) is a walking wound, a

A

ccording to my records, I did this most recently in February, ‘this’ being a list of half-a-dozen movies you can watch instead of going to the cinema (we call it ‘DVD alternatives’, though in truth it’s more likely to be an illegally-downloaded .avi fi le than a DVD nowadays). Three months isn’t very long between lists – but the multiplex is currently in dire straits, marking time with a Nicolas Cage B-movie while waiting for an onslaught of sequels (Hangover 3, Fast and the Furious 6) which are almost guaranteed to offer nothing new, so here we go again.

I don’t know why I always feel apologetic about ignoring the big screen. After all, it’s now a truism that only a sliver of available fi lms, and a sliver of a sliver of the best fi lms, are to be found at the multiplex (especially if you extend ‘best fi lms’ to include TV shows, which is what most people seem to watch these days anyway). Good fi lms are still being made, of course, they just don’t come to Cyprus cinemas. They open at festivals – like Cannes, which is currently in full flow – then move on to a few big cities, or else they’re made on a medium budget with notquite-stars like Greta Gerwig or Michael Shannon and end up playing on a Thursday night on Novacinema (that, for instance, was the fate of Margaret, the best American fi lm of the past few years). Increasingly, the cinema is where kids go to let off steam and eat popcorn on a Friday night; the role of the fi lm is to be as formulaic as possible, so as not to distract from these pursuits. I’m not

even exaggerating here.

Lest I seem like a snob, I’ve chosen six accessible English-language fi lms for this list of alternatives – non-arthouse movies that could be screened in place of Hangover 3, at least in a different marketplace with different expectations. Check them out; they’re good fun, albeit with one exception where ‘fun’ isn’t really the point.

DREAMS OF A LIFE. Let’s start with the exception: a British documentary on Joyce Vincent, who died in her North London flat in 2003. Her body wasn’t discovered for three years – which is already quite horrific, but Joyce wasn’t a recluse or a senile old woman: she was young (38), with family and friends who describe her as vivacious and charismatic. So what happened? How could she drift so badly, to the extent that no-one even thought to check up on her for three years? The fi lm isn’t always well-made (the dramatic reconstructions, with Joyce played by a lookalike actress, are a mixed blessing), but the story is potent, and the fi nal shot – a quick glimpse of the real woman – has a desolate melancholy that’s hard to shake.

WRONG. Quentin Dupieux made Rubber, a fi lm about a car tyre that kills people (!). Clearly, the man has a mad sense of humour – and the follow-up, Wrong, isn’t quite as inspired

barely-repressed sociopath, Thwarted Masculinity tamed in the name of religion or self-improvement – except that the man doing the taming (‘The Master’, played by Philip Seymour Hoffman) is a fellow sufferer, drawn to Joaquin’s violence and hiding his own behind a veil of mumbo-jumbo. A fi lm of remarkable intensity, though it doesn’t always have much to say – least of all on Scientology, on which the cult is (allegedly) based.

VAMPS. The Twilight rip-offs keep coming (Beautiful Creatures, most recently) – but it takes a middle-aged director, 50-year-old Amy Heckerling, to hone in on the poignant aspects of a vampire existence, especially the fact that times change but you don’t grow any older.

Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter are two young (or young-looking) vampire ladies in New York – and this squealy-girly horror comedy is a true original, using the genre to muse on mortality while adjusting its clichés to a chick-fl ick template. Jokes are often lame (and a few are a bit disgusting), but it’s still a semi-guilty pleasure.

DREDD. Well, yes. A strippeddown action fl ick with a wonderfully brusque hero (Judge Dredd, of comic-book fame) played as gritty copsin-the-ghetto mayhem more than dystopian sci-fi. I don’t have much to say – except that it’s stylish, exciting and clearly a multiplex movie, at least if the multiplex were a bit more accommodating to non-Hollywood fare (maybe they’ll bring it during the dog-days of summer, like they did with The Raid). Happy viewing, folks; the fi lms are out there…

filmsummaries Stolen

Evil Dead

The Host

Will Montgomery (Nicolas Cage) is a master thief who gets double-crossed in a heist gone awry and sent to prison for eight years. Upon his release he’s ready to leave his criminal past behind and try to rebuild a relationship with his estranged daughter Allison – but the FBI and his old cohorts believe that he’s hidden the $10 million loot from the heist, so his old partner Vincent (Josh Lucas) kidnaps Allison and demands the entire $10 million as ransom. Montgomery only has one day to get the ransom – but, much to the disbelief of the FBI, he doesn’t actually have the money. Instead, he teams up with his old partner in crime, the sexy and smart Riley (Malin Akerman), to pull off one more heist and get his daughter back alive before it’s too late. Also starring Danny Huston. Directed

by Simon West. (Action thriller, 96 mins.)

Five young people head off to a dilapidated cabin in the woods. They’re staging an intervention designed to get Mia (Jane Levy) off the drugs that have consumed her life. Her four supporters are her estranged brother David (Shiloh Fernandez), his girlfriend Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore), registered nurse Olivia (Jessica Lucas) and bookish Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci). In the cabin’s dim, dank basement, they discover a bunch of dead cats and the Necronomicon, a book made from human skin that contains dark magic spells. Eric, in an act of extreme stupidity, starts reading things from the Necronomicon out loud – and suddenly the five friends are being hunted by a demon.

Directed by Fede Alvarez. (Ultra-violent horror, 91 mins.)

The world has been invaded by a species of alien parasite that enters a body through a slit in the neck and eradicates the host’s personality. Humans are now an endangered species, with almost all of Earth’s population having been converted except a few small clusters of rebels. One of these dissidents, Melanie Stryder (Saoirse Ronan), is captured by a ‘Seeker’ (Diane Kruger) when attempting to distract the aliens from finding her brother. Melanie becomes the host for an alien named Wanderer and the two struggle for control of her mind. When the Seeker threatens to remove Wanderer from Melanie’s body, she escapes and goes in search of the rebels, who are led by her uncle, Jeb (William Hurt); when she finds them, however, she is not given a friendly welcome.

Also starring Max Irons and Frances Fisher. Directed

by Andrew Niccol. (Sci-fi drama, 125 mins.)

Our rating:

Our rating:

Our rating:

Iron Man 3 Brash but brilliant industrialist Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr), a.k.a. Iron Man, is up against The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), a terrorist whose reach knows no bounds. When the ruthless supervillain destroys his world, Stark vows revenge, using his arsenal of gadgets and remote-controlled suits – but he soon finds out that things aren’t entirely as they seem. Also starring Gwyneth Pal-

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

15 STOLEN DIRECTED BY Simon West STARRING Nicolas Cage, Josh Lucas, Danny Huston, Malin Akerman US 2012 96 mins

Stolen girl, stolen plot T

here’s something gloriously inane in making a fi lm about an actionhero dad looking for his kidnapped daughter, casting Nicolas Cage instead of Liam Neeson, and calling it Stolen instead of Taken. It’s even more inane because ‘Stolen’ isn’t really a synonym for ‘Taken’ if we’re talking about a person (‘Snatched’ might be more appropriate) – but maybe the title refers to stolen money, specifically the $10 million bank robber Cage took from a New Orleans bank before being caught and doing eight years in jail. Now a free man, he fi nds himself tailed by FBI agent Danny Huston, who’s convinced Cage will lead him to the loot – and meanwhile his deranged ex-partner (Josh Lucas) has ‘taken’ his teenage daughter, threatening to kill her unless he gets a cut of the $10 million, refusing to believe Cage’s protests that he burned the money before being captured.

Lucas is the joker in the pack here, already wound a bit too tight in the 20-minute prologue that opens the movie – then we go Eight Years Later and he’s downright demented; his face is scarred, the hair lanky and greasy, his eyes bulge like a junkie’s and he has what looks like a golf club for a leg, the result of Cage having shot him during that long-ago heist. The shooting was an accident, but losing his leg made him “numb” to everything – and, as

Stolen is Friday-night fun, with a few amusing nuggets and wall-to-wall action another cohort tells our hero, “He blames the leg on you, so he also blames the numb on you”. Huston, meanwhile, has fun in a role that recalls Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive, wearing a natty hat and vowing that Cage will be caught “as red-handed as the boy who put his palm on the gas stove to see how hot it really was”. He also quotes his grandma, apropos of Cage being released and trying to reunite with his daughter: “Love makes time pass,” he opines poignantly, “but Time is certain to make love pass”.

I mention these little nuggets because that’s what you look for in this kind of B-movie – a few amus-

trow, Guy Pearce and Rebecca Hall. Directed by Shane Black. In 3D. (Comic-book action comedy, 130 mins.)

Our rating:

Olympus Has Fallen When the White House (Secret Service Code: ‘Olympus’) is captured by a North Korean terrorist mastermind (Rick Yune) and the President Benjamin Asher (Aaron Eckhart) is kidnapped, disgraced former Presidential guard Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) finds himself trapped within the building. As the national security team scrambles to respond, they are forced to rely on Banning’s inside knowledge to help retake the White House, save the President and avert an even bigger disaster. Also starring Dylan McDermott and Morgan Freeman. Directed by Antoine

May 19, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

ing nuggets, plus wall-to-wall action. It helps if the hero is self-aware (like Jason Statham) or super-cool, and admittedly Cage is neither: his default expression is distraught verging on tragic, and he seems determined to suffer as much as possible (he gets stabbed, shot, falls from a roof and gets hit by a cab, not to mention the constant distress of trying to convince people he’s tell-

Stolen is fun, and I’ve seen enough of these things to know fun from formula. About an hour in, Cage needs to pull another multi-milliondollar heist asap – so he simply does so, with zero preparation and only feisty Malin Akerman for a sidekick ing the truth) – but he seems a tad more committed here than he did in, say, Trespass. It also helps if the action isn’t too absurd, and Stolen generally steers free of blatant implausibility. There’s a bit involving mobile phones which didn’t seem to make sense, and another bit with a wrong number on a cab which I didn’t get – but I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt and blame those on myself for not paying close attention.

It’s easy not to pay close attention to Stolen. This is watch-onDVD-on-a-Friday-night fare, not

Fuqua. (Action, 120 mins.)

Our rating:

The Croods The cave-dwelling Croods are a prehistoric family who live largely in the dark. The family consists of father Grug (voiced by Nicolas Cage), mother Ugga (Catherine Keener), son Thunk (Clark Duke), daughter Eep (Emma Stone) and Gran (Cloris Leachman) – but one day their cave is destroyed by an earthquake, forcing them to embark on the journey of a lifetime. Travelling across a spectacular landscape, they meet a young man named Guy (Ryan Reynolds) and discover an incredible new world filled with fantastic creatures. Directed by Kirk De Micco and Chris Sanders. (Kids’ cartoon, 98 mins.)

Our rating:

Silver Linings Playbook Pat Solatano (Bradley Cooper) has lost everything – his house, his job, and his wife. He now finds himself living back with his mother Dolores (Jacki Weaver) and father Pat Snr (Robert De Niro) after spending eight months in a mental health facility. All Pat’s parents want is for him to get back on his feet – but Pat is obsessed with reuniting with his estranged wife Nikki, even though she’s the reason he went off the rails in the first place. When he meets Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), a mysterious girl with problems of her own, things get complicated. Tiffany offers to help Pat reconnect with Nikki, but only if he’ll do something very important for her in return.

As their deal plays out, an unexpected bond begins to form between them, and silver lin-

worth schlepping out to the cinema for. Yet the little nuggets keep it fresher than expected. Director Simon West pumps up the Mardi Gras setting, then cross-cuts action with a trio of tap-dancing boys for no reason at all. A young Aussie tourist turns up, babbling about some girls he’s picked up (“Lemme tell you about these sheilas, eh?”) and grumbling he hasn’t had his “doner dipped” since arriving in New Orleans. A hilariously shifty cab controller reports that Lucas – who’s working as a cabbie – hasn’t caused any problems, but scares his kids when they visit their daddy at work.

Pause: “My kids are in their 20s”.

Stolen is fun, and I’ve seen enough of these things to know fun from formula. About an hour in, Cage needs to pull another multimillion-dollar heist asap – so he simply does so, with zero preparation and only feisty Malin Akerman for a sidekick. “There’s no way you can walk in there and steal $10 million worth of gold bricks in the middle of a business day!” protests Malin, implying that it might work better if he tried it later in the day. But the best part is when Nic calls her up, seeking help, and talks to her in Swedish on the phone (Ms. Akerman, for what it’s worth, was born in Stockholm). “As you’re speaking in Swedish, something must be up,” she observes with a totally straight face. Stolen is no Taken, but no fi lm with such gloriously inane dialogue can be all bad.

ings appear in both their lives. Directed by David O. Russell. (Drama with comedy elements, 122 mins.)

Our rating:

Sammy’s Great Escape Sammy and Ray, a pair of leatherback turtles, are captured by a poacher and shipped off to a spectacular aquarium show in Dubai.

The kingpin of the place, Big D the seahorse, enlists them in his plans for a great escape – but, with their new friends Jimbo the bug-eyed blob fish and Lulu the snippy lobster, Annabel the sweet octopus and a whole family of penguins, Sammy and Ray hatch breakout plans of their own. That is when little Ricky and Ella arrive, determined TURN TO PAGE 16

16 FILM

Films change on Friday. Check the Cyprus Mail for details of new films for Friday and Saturday.

newreleases

filmsummaries continued from page 15

Fast & Furious 6 Ever since Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker) pulled off the Rio heist that left their crew with $100 million, our heroes have scattered across the globe.

Meanwhile, Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) has been tracking an organisation of lethally skilled mercenary drivers across 12 countries, whose mastermind (Luke Evans) is aided by a ruthless second-incommand revealed to be the love Dom thought was dead, Letty (Michelle Rodriguez). The only way to stop the criminal outfit is to outmatch them at street level, so Hobbs asks Dom to assemble his elite team in London. Payment? Full pardons for all of them so they can return home and make their families whole again. Directed by Justin Lin. (Action thriller, 130 mins.)

Our rating:

The Expatriate Ben Logan (Aaron Eckhart) is an ex-CIA agent and single father living in Belgium. Supposedly hired by the Halgate Group as a security expert, Logan arrives at work one day to find the operation gone with no trace remaining; even his emails from the company have been deleted. With his sulky teenage daughter Amy (Liana Liberato) by his side, he digs deeper and finds the bodies of all his co-workers, all illegal immigrants, at a Brussels morgue. Meanwhile, representatives of the US government and European private interests search for both him and a stolen document that incriminates Halgate. Also starring Olga

Our rating: N/A

You, the Living

Kurylenko. Directed by Philipp Stolzl.

(Action thriller, 100 mins.)

FROM WEDNESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 1) at 7.45 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 1) at 5, 7.45 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 11.30am and 2.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383

The Expatriate (12) TILL TUESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 3) and K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 3) at 10.15pm. FROM WEDNESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 2) and K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 2) at 10.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Scary Movie 5 (15) K-Cineplex (Screen 4) at 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5.35pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 4) at 5.35, 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 11.30am, 1.30pm and 3.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Stolen (12) TILL TUESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 1) at 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5.30pm; KCineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 1) at 5.30, 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 11.20am, 1.20pm and 3.30pm. FROM WEDNESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 8pm, weekends also at 5.30pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 3) at 8pm.

Tel: 7777-8383

Our rating:

Scary Movie 5 Happily-married couple Dan (Simon Rex) and Jody (Ashley Tisdale) begin to notice some bizarre activity once they take custody of their two nieces and baby nephew. When the chaos expands into Jody’s job as a ballet dancer and Dan’s career as an Ape researcher, however, they realize that their family is being stalked by

To Tama

a nefarious demon. Together, with the advice of certified experts and the aid of numerous cameras, they must figure out how to get rid of it before it’s too late. Also starring Erica Ash, Terry Crews, and Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan as themselves. Directed by Malcolm D. Lee. (Comedy, 86 mins.)

Our rating: The Expatriate

TILL TUESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at 7.45pm (daily) and 10.30pm , weekends also at 5pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 2) at 5 and 7.45pm (daily) and 10.30pm (till Tuesday), weekends also at 11.30am and 2.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Olympus Has Fallen (18) K-Cineplex (Screen 6) at 7.45 and 10.15pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 5) at 7.45pm. Tel: 7777-8383

The Croods (K) K-Cineplex (Screen 5) (in Greek), weekends only at 5.30pm; K-Cineplex (Screen 6) (in English), weekends only at 5.30pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 3) (in Greek) at 5.30pm, weekends also at 11.20am, 1.20pm and 3.15pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 5) (in English) at 5.30pm, weekends also at 11.20am, 1.20pm and 3.15pm.

Tel: 7777-8383

Spanish Film Festival (tonight: El Mal Ajeno) Cine Studio, daily at 9pm, Sunday at 8pm, presented by the Friends of the Cinema Society. Tel: 96-420491, www.ofk.org.cy

LIMASSOL Fast & Furious 6 (N/A)

K-Cineplex (Screen 5) at 8 and 10.15pm; K-Cineplex, Mall of Cyprus (Screen 5) at 10.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383

FROM WEDNESDAY: Rio 1 at 7.45 and 10.15pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 1) at 7.45 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 7777-8383

The Host (12)

The Expatriate (12)

Evil Dead (18)

Scary Movie 5

Our rating:

Iron Man 3 (12)

Fast & Furious 6 (N/A)

A series of short sketches, each filmed in one take, dealing with the human condition in all its joy and sorrow, self-confidence and anxiety, greatness and weakness.

In Swedish, no subtitle details supplied. Directed

by Roy Andersson in 2007. (Dark comedy, 95 mins.)

Fast & Furious 6

What’sonwhere NICOSIA

to break in to rescue them. Directed by Vincent Kesteloot and Ben Stassen. DUBBED INTO GREEK. (Kids’ cartoon, 92 mins.)

Stolen

Rio 5 at 7.45 and 10pm, weekends also TILL TUESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 7.45pm, FROM WEDNESDAY: 10.15pm , week- at 5.15pm. Tel: 25-871410; TILL TUESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 10.15pm. FROM ends also at 5.25pm; K-Cineplex, TILL TUESWEDNESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at DAY: Mall of Cyprus (Screen 3) at 7.45pm, 10.30pm. Tel: 777710.3 FROM WEDNESDAY: (K) All Audiences 8383 838 10.15pm . Tel: 7777-8383 (12/15/18) No admittance to Under-12s/15s/ 18s (N/A) Not Available

Evagoras (Georges Corraface) is a family man who lives in Cyprus in the 1940s.

He has five daughters and longs for a son – so he makes a vow to Saint Andreas that if he has a son he’ll go all the way to the Saint’s monastery on foot with his donkey and be there on the Saint’s feast day. He finally has a son, and must now keep his word. Before he sets out on the long trek from one end of Cyprus to the other, his father admonishes him: “My son, the road ahead is full of temptations. Take care, for you must be

clean and pure when you reach the Saint”. Evagoras promises, but unfortunately, even though he tries to do only good, in the course of the journey he commits all the deadly sins, except murder.

Also starring Valeria Golino and Elias Aletras. Directed by Andreas Pantzis in 2001. In Greek. (Drama, 153 mins.)

Our rating: N/A

El Mal Ajeno Diego (Eduardo Noriega) is a doctor so used to working in extreme situations that he has shut himself off from other people’s pain. Over the course of a disturbing meeting, Diego is threatened with a gun. Hours later, he can only remember the sound of a bang and the strange feeling of having being hit with something more than a bullet. Diego has to take an irreversible decision which will affect his own life and that of his loved ones. Also starring Belen Rueda. Directed by Oskar Santos.

In Spanish, with Greek subtitles.

(Drama, 107 mins.)

Our rating: N/A

Ratings Key

Unforgettable Unmissable Recommendable Watchable Regrettable Abominable

Scary Movie 5 (15)

You, the Living

To Tama

Rio 1 (then Rio 4, from Wednesday) at 7.45 and 10pm, weekends also at 5.30pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 4) at 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5.35pm.

Tel: 7777-8383

‘Ston Dromo’ Coffee Shop (Genethliou Mitella 34), Monday at 8.30pm, presented by the Limassol Cine Club. Free entrance.

Tel: 99-477333

Larnaca Municipal Theatre, Thursday at 8.30pm, presented by the Larnaca-Famagusta Cinema Society. www.lfcinema.org

Stolen (12)

LARNACA

Rio 3 at 7.45 and 10pm. Tel: 25-871410; TILL TUESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 1) at 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5.30pm. FROM WEDNESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 8pm.

Tel: 7777-8383

Fast & Furious 6 (N/A)

Evil Dead (18)

TILL TUESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 10.15pm. FROM WEDNESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at 10.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Scary Movie 5 (15)

Scary Movie 5 (15)

Stolen (12)

TILL TUESDAY: Rio 4 at 7.45 and 10pm.

FROM WEDNESDAY: Rio 6 at 10.15pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 5), daily at 10.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383

The Host (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 7.45pm (till Tuesday), 10.15pm (from Wednesday).

Tel: 7777-8383

Iron Man 3 (12) Rio 2 (in 3D) at 7.45pm, weekends also at 5pm, and (in 2D) at 10.10pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at 7.45pm (daily) and 10.30pm (till Tuesday), weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Olympus Has Fallen (18) FROM WEDNESDAY: Rio 6 at 8pm, TILL TUESDAY: 10.15pm , weekends also at 5.30pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 5) at 7.45pm. Tel: 7777-8383

The Croods (K) Rio 3 (in Greek, in 3D), weekends only at 5.15pm; Rio 4 (in Greek, in 2D), weekends only at 5.15pm. Tel: 25-871410; K-Cineplex (Screen 3) (in Greek), weekends only at 5.30pm; K-Cineplex (Screen 5) (in English), weekends only at 5.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Silver Linings Playbook (12) TILL TUESDAY: Rio 6 at 8pm. Tel: 25-871410

FROM WEDNESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 1) at 7.45 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 7777-8383

The Expatriate (12)

K-Cineplex (Screen 4) at 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5.35pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Stolen (12) TILL TUESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 1) at 8 and 10.30pm, weekends also at 5.30pm. FROM WEDNESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 8pm, weekends also at 5.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Evil Dead (18) K-Cineplex (Screen 5) at 8 and 10.15pm. Tel: 7777-8383

The Host (12) TILL TUESDAY: K-Cineplex (Screen 3) at 7.45pm, FROM WEDNESDAY: 10.15pm, weekends also at 5.25pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Iron Man 3 (12) K-Cineplex (Screen 2) at 7.45pm (daily) and TILL TUESDAY: 10.30pm, weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 7777-8383

Olympus Has Fallen (18) K-Cineplex (Screen 6) at 7.45 and 10.15pm.

Tel: 7777-8383

The Croods (K) K-Cineplex (Screen 5) (in Greek), weekends only at 5.30pm; K-Cineplex (Screen 6) (in English), weekends only at 5.30pm. Tel: 7777-8383

PAPHOS Fast & Furious 6 (N/A) FROM WEDNESDAY: Rio 1 at 7.30 and 10pm. Tel: 26-207000

The Expatriate (12) Rio 4 at 7.30 and 9.45pm, Fridays and weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 26-207000 Rio 7 at 7.30 and 9.45pm; Rio 5, Fridays and weekends at 5.30pm. Tel: 26-207000 Rio 6 (then Rio 5, from Wednesday) at 7.30 and 9.45pm. Tel: 26-207000

Evil Dead (18) Rio 3 (then Rio 2, from Wednesday) at 7.30 and 9.45pm. Tel: 26-207000

The Host (12) TILL TUESDAY: Rio 2 at 7.30pm. Tel: 26207000

Iron Man 3 (12) Rio 1 (then Rio 6, from Wednesday) (in 3D) at 7.30 and 9.50pm, Fridays and weekends also at 5pm. Tel: 26-207000

Olympus Has Fallen (18) Rio 5 (then Rio 3, from Wednesday) at 7.30 and 9.45pm. Tel: 26-207000

The Croods (K) Rio 6 (in English, in 3D) and Rio 7 (in Greek, in 3D), Fridays and weekends at 5.15pm, weekends also at 3.15pm. Tel: 26-207000

Silver Linings Playbook (12) TILL TUESDAY: Rio 2 at 9.45pm. Tel: 26207000

Sammy’s Great Escape (K) Rio 3 (in Greek), weekends only at 3.30 and 5.30pm. Tel: 26-207000

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

17 The 13th International Pharos Chamber Music Festival 21 May The Shoe Factory, Nicosia Baroque Recital with Mahan Esfahani (Harpsichord) & Michala Petri (Recorders). 24 May The Shoe Factory,

Nicosia Piano Recital with Elisha Abas. 27-31 May Royal Manor House, Kouklia Five Concerts. 1 June The Olive Grove, Delikipos Open-air concert for Strings Concerts start at 8.30pm. Ticket price: €10. BOX

OFFICE: Tel. 7000-9304 (daily 9.30-11.30am) www. pharostickets.org. Kyriakou Fullpage Bookshops: 30 Ellados Ave, Paphos, Tel. 26 822850. For further information contact Pharos Arts Foundation, Tel: 22 663871, www.pharosartsfoundation.org

Festival goes on despite crisis As many performers waive their fees, annual Pharos Chamber Music Festival promises a top quality event says ALIX NORMAN

T

he Pharos Arts Foundation may be synonymous with music and the arts, but what you probably didn’t know is that it’s also at the forefront of tourism! And at a time when many are advocating a return to an industry much depleted in recent years, this can only be a good thing. But before you start picturing Ayia Napa awash with vacationing violinists, remember that our island has a great deal more to offer than merely sun, sand and sea… for 13 years the Pharos Chamber Music Festival has been offering the more discerning visitor a week of world class performances in exquisite Mediterranean settings. With more than 2,000 cultural tourists – many from Italy, a number of Brits and some from as far afield as New York – expected to attend the festival this year, Yvonne Georgiadou, the Artistic Director of the Pharos Arts Foundation, is quietly proud of the number and class of visitor attracted by the festival.

“The majority of musicians performing in the festival belong to the top of their league; to hear them play elsewhere is often prohibitively expensive. So with tickets costing €10 a head, it’s often cheaper for devotees to fly to Cy-

prus. It promotes a different class of tourism: we’re not attracting people whose greatest expense is their sun lounger. The festival appeals to visitors who are interested in history and culture, who have money to spend and an appreciation for the fi ner things in life,” Yvonne explains.

And as a nonprofit organisation, the Pharos Trust ploughs every cent back into their work. “We do struggle,” Yvonne says, “we count every little penny in order to save the money to pay for the event. But the result is worth it; the festival is an established music event and it’s worth it.”

Things have been especially difficult for the organisation this year, with the financial crisis robbing the Foundation of much of its financial backing. “We found ourselves at a crossroads,” Yvonne reveals. “Everything was all ready to go, and then the haircut took place.” With many of the regular sponsors unable to continue their support, the Foundation considered calling the whole thing off.

“The Festival is a huge expense for us,” continues Yvonne, “and we knew our position would be very difficult. But in the end we decided that it’s at exactly times like this that people want music the most, and we chose to go ahead.”

Yvonne explains that she tentatively wrote to each of the participating artists, asking them if they could possibly reduce their fees. And the result was overwhelming: “These are top fl ight musicians, their fees are often astronomical. So we couldn’t believe it when there was immediate assent, with many of our returning artists saying that they would happily waive their fee altogether!

It’s allowed us to reduce the ticket price and enable local audiences to enjoy the festival.”

One of the returning performers is Alexander Chaushian, world-renowned cellist, who will play in the five concerts organised at The Royal Manor House in Kouklia. “He’s extremely talented, and he’s been here so many times he’s regarded by many as a Cypriot himself,” smiles Yvonne.

The foundation has also received support from the Embassy of Isra-

Top notes: Michala Petri and (above) Mahan Esfahani

el in bringing the hugely talented pianist Elisha Abas - an ex international football star who looks like a ruffian and plays like an angel - to these shores. And both Michala Petri – whose playing of the recorder will move many to tears – and Mahan Esfahani – a Bach aficionado who’s a legend in the making on the harpsichord - have waived their fees to give a Baroque Recital at Nicosia’s Shoe Factory.

“We always try to use alternative venues for our concerts,”

What’sonlistings

Exhibition

Exhibitions Nicosia district

The Real Truth Solo painting exhibition by Anna Varelli. Until May 31. Apocalypse Gallery, 30 Chytron Street, Nicosia. Monday- Friday: 10.30am-1pm and 5pm-8pm. Saturday: 10.30am-1pm.

Tel: 22-766655 May 19 , 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

Yvonne discloses. “The Shoe Factory feels like a friend’s living room, while The Royal Manor House is surrounded by antiquities and lies right next to the sea.”

The third location is The Olive Grove, a purpose-built open-air site located in the forests of Delikipos, where the fi nal event – a Strings Concert – will take place on June 1; wooden decks, shallow pools and olive groves allow the audience to delight in the musical offerings encircled by the beauty of nature.

“At Pharos, we’ve always aimed for the highest standards in everything we do,” Yvonne concludes. “We take great pride in our professionalism, and above all, we try to offer quality.” And without a doubt, The 13th Pharos Chamber Music Festival will be maintaining its standards of excellence to both local audiences and discerning visitors from abroad.

A Matter of Choice Solo art exhibition by Lefteris Olymprios. Until May 30. Gallery Gloria, 3 Zinonos Sozou Street. Monday-Friday: 10.30pm-12.45pm and 5pm-8pm.

Saturday: 10.30pm-12.45pm. Tel: 22760286 Cluster A generative audiovisual performance

by Kurt Hentschlager. Until May 31. The Office, 32 Kleanthis Christofides Street.

Tel: 99-848495 The Real Truth Solo painting exhibition by Anna Varelli. Until May 31. Apocalypse Gallery, 30 Chytron Street. Monday- Friday: 10.30am-1pm and 5pm-8pm. Saturday: 10.30am-1pm. Tel: 22-766655 The Playroom Solo art exhibition by Elina Sophocleous. Until June 7. Argo Gallery, 64E D. Akrita Avenue. Monday-Friday: 10am-1pm and 5pm-8pm. Saturday: 10am-1pm. Tel: 22-754009. www.argogallery.org Beautiful Things for Beautiful People at Affordable Prices An exhibition of collectors’ items, small antique furnishings, engravings and more. Until June 10. Opus 39 Gallery, 21 Kimonos Street. Monday: 5pm-8pm.

Tuesday-Friday: 10.30am-12.30pm and 5pm-8pm. Tel: 22-424983 DIY Cyprus Group exhibition. Until June 15. Is Not Gallery, 11 Odysseus, Chrysaliniotissa.

Monday-Saturday: 10am-1pm and 4pm-8pm. Tel: 22-343670

Terra Mediterranea – In Crisis Group contemporary art exhibition curated by Yiannis Toumazis scrutinising the current turbulence experienced globally, from both a political and a poetic stance.

Until July 21. Nicosia Municipal Arts Centre 19, Palaias Ilektrikis. Tuesday-Saturday: 10am-3pm and 5pm-11pm. Sunday: 10am4pm. Tel: 22-797400. info@nimac.org.cy. www.nimac.org.cy The project includes a second contemporary art exhibition curated by Re Aphrodite team. The exhibition deals with the unwritten feminine histories of Cyprus and their private and public structure. Until July 21.

Ethological Museum – The House of Hagjigeorgakis Kornesios, 20, Patriarxou Grigoriou. Tuesday, Thursday, Friday: 8.30am3.30pm.

Wednesday: 8.30am-5pm.

Saturday: 9.30am-3.30pm. Tel: 22-305316 The World of Cyprus Exhibition of monumental work consisting of 11 panels by famous Cypriot artist Adamantios Diamantis, which return home after over 30 years of absence. Until October 6. The Leventis Municipal Museum, 15-17 Hippocrates Street, Laiki Yitonia. TuesdaySunday: 10am-4.30pm. Wednesday: 10am10pm. Tel: 22-661475 Cyprus Icons and Mosaics Makarios III Foundation, Archbishopric, old Nicosia. Monday-Friday 9am-4.30pm and Saturday 9am-1pm. Tel: 22-430008 Old Maps and Engravings 16th-19th Century Permanent exhibition: Cyprus and other Greek lands, Europe and America. Viewing by appointment. Gallery Leventi, 6 Polykleitos St. Tel/Fax: 22-348451/ 99-658694.

Cyprus Yesterday and Today Permanent exhibition. Diachroniki Gallery Idalion, 32 Makarios Ave., Dhali. Open Monday-Saturday 11am-5pm. Tel: 22-525691

Larnaca district Water Stories Solo painting exhibition by Ero Farmaka.

Until May 20. Kypriaki Gallery Gonia, 45 Stadiou Street. Monday-Saturday: 10am-1pm and 4.30 pm-8pm. Sunday: 11am-2pm and 4pm- 7pm. Tel: 24-621109 Bread and Roses An exhibition of art by graduating students of the Cyprus College of Art 2013. Until May 25. Cornaro Institute, 23 Mehmet Ali Street.

Open daily: 10am-5 pm. Tel: 24-25 4042 Helen Tumelty’s Mosaic Studio Permanent exhibition of mosaic pictures, tables and mirrors. Just off Zenon Kitieos St. Studio also offers mosaic classes in a small friendly environment throughout the year. Tel: 99-925315 Cyprus Artists Pieces from the Larnaca municipality’s permanent collection on display. Larnaca Municipal Gallery. Monday-Friday: 9am-4pm, Saturday: 10am-1pm. Tel: 24-657745

Limassol district Woman in Art Solo painting exhibition by Giorgos Kotsonis. Until May 31. Peter’s Gallery, 31 Ioanni Polemi Street. 10am-1pm & 4pm-7pm.

Tel: 99-679242 Within Narratives Solo art exhibition by Stelios Kallinikou.

Until June 15. Penindaplin Gallery, 49 Ellados. Open daily: Monday-Friday: 4pm-8pm. Saturday: 12-4pm. Tel: 25-340727 Blackdove Art Studio Permanent exhibition of artwork in oils, acrylic, print and mixed media, including painted driftwood, by Mary-Lynne Stadler.

Commissions welcome and art tuition on offer in a number of media. Tel: 99-048369. www.marylynnestadler.com

TURN TO PAGE 19

18 WHAT’S ON Nightlife Nicosia district Marlenka Café Music Weekends Come and enjoy a glass of wine, your favourite cocktail or dinner while you listen to violin pedagogue Professor Robert Hovanesyan and member of the Cyprus Symphony Orchestra.

Marlenka Cafe, 92-94 Phaneromenis Street, old Nicosia. Every Saturday and Sunday evening from 8.30pm. Tel: 70-001129 Live Jazz Event Jazz music with band ‘D Lirious’, food and drinks available. Every Friday night at Baroque Lounge Bar, Cleopatra Hotel. 9:30pm.For reservations contact 22-844000 Music Nights Entechno and folk music at RED. Every Saturday. Red, Dionysus 15, old town hall square.

Tel: 22-767711. www.music.net.cy/red Agapiou Escuela de Danza Parties Latin parties every Sunday at Sitio Cafè, 20 Makarious Avenue, Nicosia.10pm Milonga/Argentinean Tango Regular Milonga/Argentinean Tango every Thursday at Enallax,16-17 Athinas Avenue, Nicosia. 10pm Blue Wine and Lounge Bar Serving over 140 selected wines from across the world. 96 Rigenis St, Classic Hotel, Old Nicosia. Open daily except Sunday. 12 noon until late at night. Tel: 22-664006 Marco Polo Playing live Latin music. Marco Polo Bar, Holiday Inn rooftop, 70 Regina St. 11pm until late.

Monday- Thursday €10 with one drink. Friday and Saturday €20 including two drinks. Tel: 22-712712

Funky Jelly at Domus With DJ Yiotis and Theo playing uplifting lounge tunes. Domus lounge bar, 5 Korai St, Old Nicosia. 10pm until late. Tel: 22-433722 Arabesque Sundays With belly dancers and ethnic music. Mberdema Gold, 30 Nikiforou St, Famagusta Gate. 11.30pm until late. Tel: 22-345946 Club Red Live Greek music and various events. 15 Dionysiou St, Old Municipality Square, Nicosia. Thursdays-Sundays, 10pm onwards.

Tel: 99-516799/ 22-767711 Lush Playing R&b, hip-hop, basement and old school music. Friday and Saturday, 11.30pm.

6 Evagorou Avenue. Tel: 99- 853333 Scorpios Platinum With various theme nights from Wednesday-Sunday. Stasinou 3, Engomi. Wednesday and Thursday 11pm- 3am, and Friday and Saturday 11pm-4am. Tel: 99-545690 Skaraveos Restaurant, café and bar with Persian Cuisine. Wednesdays: electronic music, Thursdays: reggae and Fridays: progressive psychedelic and Saturdays: rock and funk. 11pm-2am. 4 Nikokreontos St. Tel: 99-935777 Amalfi Lounge Bar Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday live music with Yiota Louka, Christos Andreou, Konstantinos Koutras and Yiannos Hadjiloizou. Enjoy exotic cocktails, finger food and Cuban cigars daily from 5pm-2am.

Hilton Park Hotel. Tel: 22-377777

DMC An uplifting atmosphere with a range of stimulating weekly events. Laiki Gitonia, 1 Watkins St, Finikoudes. Open daily from 9.30pm. Tel: 99-458138 Salsa Island Regular event every other Friday featuring DJ Escobar. Music includes Pure Salsa, with a twist of Pure Salsa, Merengue, Mambo, Son and Cha Cha Cha. Blitz Roof and Pool Bar Terrace, 4th Floor, Kition Hotel. 10pm until late.

Tel: 96-717271 Horseshoe Pub 60s, 70s and 80s music from Monday-Sunday.

Horseshoe Pub, Larnaca-Dhekelia road, opposite Palm Beach Hotel. Tel: 24-646111

Limassol district Crowne Plaza Lounge-Bar On Mondays rediscover your romantic side with Violin Duo playing classical music and popular melodies on the violin. Every Wednesday, local guitarist - Byron Athinodorou will be playing a mix of Spanish melodies, pop-rock hits and Greek classics on the guitar, alongside his own compositions. Every Friday Jazz – Blues night with a mix of upbeat and smooth jazz classics. Crowne Plaza. Tel: 25-851515 Cuba Tropical Local band playing live Cuban-Latin sounds every Sunday. Wet Beach Bar, Amathountos Avenue. 9pm-11.30pm. Tel: 25-320006 Harleys Café Bar Happy hour 10am-6pm. Every Tuesday, pub games night. Every Thursday, quiz night. Special theme nights once a fortnight. Near Esso station, Amathus Area. Tel: 25-328533

Woodman’s Pub Traditional English pub, serving an excellent range of foods including Sunday Roast. Big Screen TV’s, Karaoke every Friday evening and a quiz with a rolling jackpot every Monday. 73 Georgiou Avenue. Tel: 25-879082

REVIEW

by Anna Hassapi

Paphos district Cyprotel Cypria Bay Hotel Every Monday Jezebel & Lisa-Marie present a themed show 9.45pm for an hour at Cyprotel Cypria Bay Hotel. Free entry Moonlight Bar Every Friday Jezebel sings golden oldies 9pm – midnight in the Moonlight Bar inside the Aloe Hotel on the harbour road in Kato Paphos. Free entry The Sea Gypsies Live acoustic blues and country music every Friday from 10pm. The Old Fishing Shack Ale and Cider House, Margarita Gardens, Tefkrou Street, Kato Paphos. Tel: 99805390/99-170667 Latin Nights at Notos Latin music in a rooftop bar. Notos, Harbour area. Every Thursday and Saturday.

10 pm until late. Tel: 26-939616 Paphiessa Hotel Thursday: Dave Roberts sings hits, Paphiessa Hotel, Kato Paphos. Tel: 99185952 Square Bistro Saturdays: David East entertains on the guitar. 8 pm. Square Bistro, Tala Square.

Tel: 26-930408/99-966139

Get in the swing of things with the Barry Rowe Big Band Roll out the red carpet, dim the lights and raise the curtains - it’s showtime.

The swinging jazz sounds of the big band era will fill amphitheatres across the island, when Barry Rowe and his amazing 18-piece Echoes of Swing band come to town. There’s nothing more electrifying than the sound of the big band era and the nightlife scene in Cyprus is bringing you just that.

As part of an island tour, they’re booked to play four concerts – in Paralimni, Latchi, Pissouri and Tala – with some of the island’s best musical stars. The Band is a classic 16 piece Big Band, with four trumpets, four trombones five saxophones plus bass, drums and piano, accompanied by jazz singer Alice Zawadzki and vocalist Simon Barter.

For their tour of Cyprus this May, they’ve chosen works from The Great American Songbook, which lists the best, most important and influential American popular songs of the 20th century, mainly from Broadway and musical theatre, together with Hollywood musical films from the 1920s to 1960, guaranteed to get you singing along.

The tour kicks off with a show on Saturday at Paralimni Municipal Amphitheatre, in aid of The Alzheimer’s Association (Famagusta Branch) and the Cyprus Anti Cancer Charity.

And, if it is an evening under the stars you fancy, bring a cool box and listen to the foot tapping music with a nice

Ithaki Bar Charismatic bar with outdoor summer area.

33 Nikiforou Foka St. Old Nicosia. 7pm-2am expect Mondays. Tel: 22-434193 Avlaia Music Stage Live bands on weekdays and regular Greek music weekends with George Arestis and Dimitris Makris. Avlaia, Corner of Emmanuel Roidis and Prodromou St. Tel: 22 675638 Chateau Status A café/bar and restaurant with various theme rooms catering to different tastes. Ledra Palace Road. Monday-Sunday 10am-2am. Tel: 77771167 Potopion to Ellinikon With live Greek music on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Potopion to Elinikon, 18 Theophani Theodotou St, Zina Palace building. 9pm until late. Tel: 22-722760 Brew Lounge and tea bar. Brew, 30b Hippocrates St, Nicosia. 11.30am-2am on weekdays, 11.30am3am on weekends. Tel: 22-100133 Mystiagogia Relaxed bar playing both Greek and English rock, and a selection of chill out music. Mystiagogia, 42 Areos St, Old Nicosia. Open daily 8pm-2am. Tel: 99-788486 Baroque Live music every Thursday night from the 70s, 80s and 90s, 9.30pm until late. Open on a daily basis as regular bar from 10am-2am.Baroque Lounge Bar, Cleopatra Hotel. Tel: 22-844000 The Petsteppers Trio playing live every Monday. Lotofagi Bar, 8 Athinas Avenue, Old Nicosia. 10pm. Tel: 22347573

glass of wine.

Barrie Rowe Big Band Echoes of Swing performing The Great American Songbook. The 18 piece Big Band from the UK featuring singer Alice Zawadzki, with local musicians and acclaimed Paralimni vocalist Simon Barter. Online tickets: www.tickethour.com.cy. www. andrewoliver9.co.uk May 25: Paralimni Municipal Amphitheatre. 8pm. €10. In aid of: Cyprus Alzheimers Association, Famagusta Branch and Cyprus Anti Cancer Charity, Famagusta Branch. Tel: 99-172179/99479078/97-809424 May 26: Y & P Latchi Hotel. Dinner 7pm, showtime 8.30pm. €25 inc. dinner in advance, €30 on the door May 27: Pissouri Amphitheatre. 7.30pm. €12 in advance, €14 on the door, €10 for PRA and Pine Bay Club members and military personnel. Bring cushions and a cool box. Tel: 99-832538 June 2: Tala Amphitheatre. Doors open 6.30pm, water only in amphitheatre, no cool boxes, bring cushions, bar available. €12 in advance, €14 on the door. Tel: 99-832538

Enallax With various live music shows each week, with a focus on English and Greek rock. Athinas St. old Nicosia.

Wednesdays & Thursdays 11pm-2pm, Fridays-Saturdays 11.30-3pm. Reservations: 22-430121/99-617820 Orpheas Piano Bar With live jazz and piano on various nights. Orpheas Piano Bar, 24 Athinas St, old Nicosia. Free entrance. Tel: 22439311/99-697259

Larnaca district Club Deep Mayday Fridays: with DJ Ruda, hosted by Marshall. €10 incl. 1 free drink. Super Saturdays: with DJs Dekzta and Ruda, hosted by Marshall. €10 incl. 1 free drink. Wednesdays, student night: Pure Vibes with DJs Cos and Dekzta, hosted by Marshall. Free entrance. Phinoikoudes Promenade. 12-4.30am. Tel: 97-843001 Cosmopolitan Lounge Bar Every Friday night: English & Greek music from 11-2am. Cocktail night with cocktails created and designed by Cyprus’ No.1 mixologist, Marios Zeniou. Music provided by DJ Tommy Gee. Every Saturday night: Live music & DJs from 11-late. Cocktails created by top mixologist, Marios Zeniou. Every Sunday night: Classic lounge bar grooves with DJ Harry Borg playing the best deep house grooves from 11pm.

Free entry. Strictly over 21s. Phinoikoudes Promenade. Tel: 97-843001 Times Bar ‘Manic Sundays’ with Manic Mike playing progressive/electro. 73 Athens Avenue, Finikoudes Promenade. Tel: 24-625966

Electronic music at Barfly Quality house, techno and minimal beats with guest DJ. Every other Friday. Barfly, 1 Elenis Paleologinas St. 10pm until late. www. myspace.com/pmdj Mandaloun With Lebanese food and DJs every Friday and Saturday night playing a variety of ethnic, world and chill out music. Mandaloun, opposite Le Meridien Hotel. 7pm-2am. Tel: 25636845 Graffiti House, tribal house, oriental and mainstream hits. Enjoy your drink with finger food and nargile. Wednesdays- Saturdays, 9pm-2am.

Graffiti bar, 236 Ayios Andreas St. Tel: 25747552 Jazzy B With live jazz music on various nights each week. JazzyB, Corner of Anexartisias & Athinon str. €8. 10.30pm. Tel: 99-605502 Half Note Blue velvet play classic soul, funk and RnB every Saturday night. Half note Music Bar, cnr Saripolis and Socratous st. Tel: 25-377050

Famagusta district The Live Lounge Venue Napa Live’s spiritual home continues for 2013 with an exciting roster of top bands and acts.

From 8pm every night of the week. Live music on stage from 10.30pm. The Live Lounge Venue, Katalymata St, next to Red Square bar. www.liveloungevenue.com Sirena Bay Bar Diverse range of music, from chill out to upbeat electronic tunes. Sirena Bay, near Golden Coast Hotel, Paralimni. 7am-1am. Tel: 99-511701 Guru Bar Live music with DJ Dimi, bongos and dancers.

Guru Bar, 11 Odysseos Elitis Street, Ayia Napa.

Every Thursday, 10pm. Tel: 23-721838 Vanilla Bar Playing funky house tunes. Vanilla Bar, 41 Makarios III Avenue, Ayia Napa. Monday-Sunday 9am-2am. Tel: 23-721126 Cliff Bar Open air bar/café playing chill out music. Grecian Park Hotel, Konnos Bay, Cavo Creco, Protaras. 12noon-2am daily. Tel: 23-832000

The exception to the rule Milk Bar, Limassol I am not too fond of the café/bars on the main Makarios Avenue in Limassol. In a town that boasts idyllic seafront cafes, and cute old city charm bars, why would anyone want to take in the noise and congestion of the town’s main avenue?

To make matters worse, some of these establishments are a bit pretentious and lack character. This is definitely not the case with Milk Bar, a recent addition to the avenue strip that exudes retro charm and offers some fantastic menu options, including some great cocktails.

The name Milk Bar was chosen as a tribute to the owner’s grandfather, who produced milk in the 1930s. In 1937 he opened the original Milk Bar in the British Bases at Akrotiri.

The whole concept of Milk Bar is based on this story; the ambience is casual, but chic, quite reminiscent of a French bistro, with black and white floors and 50s-style furniture.

Milk Bar opens really early for breakfast and stays open until late in the evening. The breakfast options are actually superior and cannot be found in many other places. For one, I haven’t been able to find an American bagel anywhere else in Limassol, and was really excited to see this on the breakfast menu. There’s also an unmatched variety of egg and omelette options at reasonable prices (€2.90 to €4.20). On weekdays, Milk Bar offers a 15 per cent discount on ‘Happy Breakfasts’ between 7.30am and 11am.

The drinks menu is extensive and offers a great selection of delicious cocktails, wine and beer. I tried the Grandpa’s Favourite cocktail (€7.50) that includes apricot marmalade, apple, fresh lemon juice, whisky and apricot brandy. The food menu incorporates classic, wholesome dishes, a good example of which are the burger options. The word ‘homemade’ actually means something here, as these juicy burgers are obviously made with real ground beef and subtle spices.

Milk Bar is a place I would definitely recommend. It even made me change my mind about Makarios Avenue bars; quite simply, it is the exception to the rule and totally worth a visit.

Milk Bar Where: 226 Arch. Makarios III Avenue, Limassol Contact: 25 354100 When: Daily 7.30am-1.30am

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

19 What’sonlistings Anoyira Mosaic Artwork Discover the magic of mosaics and Anoyira.

Friday-Sunday 10am-4pm, other times by appointment. Tel: 99-108710 Katie Sabry Studio Permanent exhibition of paintings in oils, watercolours and pastels. Mosaics Workshop, 9 Georgiou Malekidi St, nr Rialto Theatre. Tel: 99-571139. www.katiecolours. com Art by Susanne Gallery with contemporary artwork. Shop 2, Marina Beach, Amathus Avenue. Daily 10am-4pm. Percentage of profits go to children with Cystic Fibrosis. Tel: 99-247668 Theomaria Art Gallery Permanent exhibition of Vera Parlalidou’s ceramics. 7 Vassilisis Karlotta St. MondayFriday 8am-1pm. Tel: 25-745777 Michael Owen Galleries Permanent exhibition of oil and watercolour paintings. Lania. Tel. 25-432404. www. michaelowengallery.com Olivera Papathoma Permanent exhibition in City Art Gallery.

255A Saint Andreas St. Monday-Friday 9am-1pm, 4pm-7pm. Sat. 9am-2pm Sea King Permanent exhibition of old aviation photos. Sea King restaurant, near Akrotiri base.

Tel: 25-954500

Paphos district A Letter to Cyprus An open-call exhibition, wherein artists were asked to send a letter as art work which is addressed to Cyprus. Until June 1. Chiaki Kamikawa Contemporary Art, 10 Solonos Street. Tuesday- Friday: 10am-1pm and 4pm-6pm. Saturday: 10am-1pm. Tel: 99-311225 Judith Constantinou Permanent exhibition of watercolours.

The Studio, Stephanie Village, Tala. Tel: 26652760 Stewart B Johnson Open house viewings of Scottish artist’s works by appointment. G. Xenopoulou st.

Tel: 26-930525 Gallery at Home with Theresa French Watercolours, prints and cards. 2 Modestou Panteli, 2 Nicolas Cliff, Yeroskipou. Tel: 26962597/ 99-316485 Stone Sculptures Permanent exhibition by Andreas Constantinou. Polis Chrysochous, near central square. Call artist for viewing. Tel: 26321227/99-585543 Michael Gorman Figurative paintings and prints. 20 Theodorou Kolokotroni, Peyia. Open daily. Tel: 99-952376/99-006832/26-621424 Harry and Sheila Hawkins Art by Harry Hawkins and books by Sheila Hawkins. Ayias Zonis St., Neo Chorio. Open daily. Tel: 26-321123 Herbs and Wild Flowers Arts and crafts inspired by the flora of Cyprus. Medicinal herbal teas and oils available. Information Centre for the Akamas National Park at the School of Pano Arodes.

Tel: 99-616748 David Lester Working Studio in Peyia, with permanent exhibition of oil paintings and other works by the author of ‘Wishful Thinking’. Tel: 26621130

Famagusta district Blue Spice Restaurant Permanent exhibition of Carolina Alotus’ works. Blue Spice, 29 Aphroditis St (between Perneras and Protaras rd), Ayia Napa.

Tel: 23-832088. www.CarolinaAlotus.com Where are the Rights of the Children of Karpasia?

Permanent photographic exhibition.

Famagusta Cultural Centre, 35 Evagorou St, Dherynia. Closed Sundays. Monday-Friday 7.30am-4.30pm and Saturday 9.30am-4 .30pm. Tel: 23-740860

Music Nicosia district International Pharos Chamber Music Festival Encompasses eight magnificent concerts with over 15 world renowned artists in three different venues in Cyprus. May 21-June 1. Royal Manor House, The Olive Grove and The Shoe Factory. 8.30pm. €10.

Tel: 22-663871/70-009304. www.pharosartsfoundation.org May 21: Baroque recital with Mahan Esfahani (Harpsichord) & Michala Petri (Recorders). The Shoe Factory May 24: Piano Recital by Israeli pianist Elisha Abas. The Shoe Factory June 1: Open-air concert for Strings. The Olive Grove, Delikipos Bright Days and Romantic Nights in the Mediterranean Cyprus Symphony Orchestra concert with works inspired from the history, myths, and characteristic rhythms of Cyprus, Spain and Italy. May 23. Strovolos Municipal Theatre.

8.30pm. €12/7. Tel: 22-313010

compiled by Ledha Socratous

Red Moon Concert by the Cyprus Symphony Orchestra Ensemble under the direction of maestro Roland Melia and featuring mezzo-soprano Katie Economidou as soloist. May 24.

Pallas Theatre, Paphos Gate. 8pm. Free. Tel: 22 463144, www.cyso.org.cy The Warrior’s Tale Chamber opera by composer Sotiris Kasparides presented in different classical music styles. May 25. Casteliotissa Hall, old Nicosia. 8.30pm. €10/5. Tel: 99-564405

Larnaca district Red Moon Concert by the Cyprus Symphony Orchestra Ensemble under the direction of maestro Roland Melia and featuring mezzo-soprano Katie Economidou as soloist. . 8pm.

Free. Tel: 22- 463144. www.cyso.org.cy May 21: Larnaca Municipal Exhibition May 22: Events Hall, Alambra Primary School

Limassol district Hot Nuts Rock’n’Roll the Chas & Dave way. May 19. Chasers Seafront. 7pm. €10 inc. BBQ. Dinner. Reservations - Tel: 99-284118/99832538. www.andrewoliver9.co.uk Bright Days and Romantic Nights in the Mediterranean Cyprus Symphony Orchestra concert with works inspired from the history, myths, and characteristic rhythms of Cyprus, Spain and Italy. May 24. Rialto Theatre. 8.30pm. €12/7.

Tel: 77-777745

Paphos district Red Moon Concert by the Cyprus Symphony Orchestra Ensemble under the direction of maestro Roland Melia and featuring mezzo-soprano Katie Economidou as soloist. May 20.

En Plo Exhibition Hall, Kato Paphos. 8pm.

Free. Tel: 22 463144, www.cyso.org.cy International Pharos Chamber Music Festival Encompasses eight magnificent concerts with over 15 world renowned artists in three different venues in Cyprus. 8.30pm. €10. Tel: 22-663871/70-009304. www.pharosartsfoundation.org May 27-31: Five Chamber Concerts with some of the world’s leading soloists. Royal Manor House, Kouklia Barrie Rowe Big Band Echoes of Swing performing The Great American Songbook. The 18 piece Big Band from the UK featuring singer Alice Zawadzki, with local musicians and acclaimed Paralimni vocalist Simon Barter. May 26. Y & P Latchi Hotel. Dinner 7pm, showtime 8.30pm. €25 inc. dinner in advance, €30 on the door. Tel: 99-832538. Tickets: www.tickethour.com.cy. www.andrewoliver9.co.uk

Famagusta district Barrie Rowe Big Band Echoes of Swing performing The Great American Songbook. The 18 piece Big Band from the UK featuring singer Alice Zawadzki, with local musicians and acclaimed Paralimni vocalist Simon Barter.

May 25. Paralimni Municipal Amphitheatre. 8pm. €10. In aid of: Cyprus Alzheimers Association, Famagusta Branch and Cyprus Anti Cancer Charity, Famagusta Branch. Tel: 99-172179/99-479078/97-809424. Online tickets: www.tickethour.com.cy www.andrewoliver9.co.uk

Theatre & Dance Nicosia district The Essence of the Inseparable An improvisational physical theatre piece by the Transcendental Theatre Workshop team with extracts from N. Kazanzakis’ Askitiki. May 19. ARTos Foundation. 6pm and 8pm. €3. Tel: 99-832370. www.illusionofseparateness.org. artforchange@ cytanet.com.cy Flying ship Moscow musical theatre Experiment present a musical for children and their parents based on the cult of a Soviet animated film. May 24. Russian Cultural Centre, 16 Alassias Street. For children 3 years and up.

6.30pm. €10. Tel: 96-302770/22-761607 Troika? Game… Over!

A Cypriot comedy by Vassilis Konstantinou.

May 25. Vladimiros Kafkarides Cultural Centre, Aglantzia. On Saturdays and Sundays at 8.30pm. In Greek. Tel: 22-421609 Incognito Small story-confessions accompanied by music. May 25-June 1, 4, 8, 11 & 15. THOC New Theatre Building, 9 Gregori Afxentiou Street. May 25 at 8.30pm, on specific days at 9pm. In Greek. €12/6. Tel: 22-864300 Centuries Away from Alaska Dionysos Theatre presents play by Akis Dimou, directed by Tonia Misiali. Until May 26. Dionysos Theatre, 29 Diagorou Street.

On Fridays and Saturdays at 8.30pm and Sundays at 6.30pm. In Greek. €15. Tel: 99621845/22-818999

May 19, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

FESTIVAL

Welcome in summer in bi-communal village Potamia is hosting a May Fair on Sunday to celebrate the efforts of its residents in rejuvenating the local history and heritage of the village.

Located in the district of Nicosia, close to the Green Line, together with Pyla and Rizokarpaso, Potamia forms one of the few remaining ethnically mixed communities in Cyprus. Prior to the invasion the village had a Turkish-Cypriot majority, however most Turkish Cypriots have subsequently moved to the north, and now the village is mostly inhabited by the remaining Greek-Cypriots.

Nonetheless, there is widespread bilingualism and cooperation between the two communities and the village has both a Greek and a TurkishCypriot mayor who work together. In line with the bi-communal character of the village, the community of Potamia has decided to transform an abandoned traditional house into a museum.

The idea is to create a shared community space where different events can take place celebrating the multicultural heritage of the village, where publications highlighting the village’s significant historical background and addressing factual examples to conflict resolution can be placed and where internet facilities for young people can be housed, among other activities.

The community has made a concerted effort to make this endeavour a participatory decisionmaking process by involving the entire community (past and current residents) while planning the creation of such a space.

The actual work on the traditional house will start soon, but before renovations can begin, Potamia is getting ready to say hello to summer with a May Fair. The Potamia community is hoping to create an opportunity for others to visit their village and support the local residents in their efforts in fostering a more inclusive peace process.

The event will include photography exhibitions, traditional dances, historical elements of the bicommunal Potamia village and its residents, entertainment for children and traditional Cypriot food. Of course you can’t visit Potamia without enjoying a guided village tour of the museum/ library, there’s also a chance to discover the bewitching world of the mediaeval summer mansion of Caterina Cornaro.

Potamia May Fair Event aimed at celebrating the efforts of Potamia residents in rejuvenating the local history and heritage of the village. The Fair will include traditional foods, drinks, dance and music performances and a guided village tour. May 26.

Potamia Village Centre, Nicosia. 10.30-2.30pm. www.potamiaheritage.com

Dear Mr. Strindberg Theatre Group Solo for Three present play based on the work of August Strindberg Miss Julie. Until May 28. Melina Merkouri Hall, Athina Avenue. Every Monday, Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday at 8.30pm. €10/5. The net proceeds from the performances will be given to charity. In Greek. Tel: 22-797650 Gethsemane A play about British public life by David Hare. Until May 31. THOC New Theatre Building, 9 Gregori Afxentiou. On specific days at 8.30pm and on Sundays at 6pm. In Greek. €12/6. Tel: 77-772717/22-864300 Sovrakaless Play based on the book by Terrence McNally and the film The Full Monty. Until June 9.

WhereHaus 612, 5 Michael Kousoulide, Pallouriotissa Industrial Area. On Specific days at 8.30pm. In Greek. €15/12. Tel: 70-000612 Educating Rita Theatro Dentro presents stage comedy by British playwright Willy Russell. Until June 8. Theatro Dentro, 1 Digenis Akritas Avenue. On Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays at 9pm. In Greek. Tel: 99520835/99-384606

My Romantic History Neos Kosmos Theatre presents award-winning comedy by D.C. Jackson. May 25-26.

Rialto Theatre. 8.30pm. €15/10. In Greek.

Tel: 77-777745 Flying ship Moscow musical theatre Experiment present a musical for children and their parents based on the cult of a Soviet animated film. May 26. Agios Athanasios Municipal Theatre, 42 Stavraetou tou Machera Street. For children 3 years and up. 12midday. €10. Tel: 96-302770/257724135

Larnaca district

Taxidi 2013 A forum where the Cypriot traveller can obtain valuable and comprehensive information on tourist destinations and travel packages. May 17-19. Hellenic Pavilion, the Multiple Use Hall of the Cyprus State Fairs Authority and the adjacent Pavilion 4. May 17-18: 4pm-10pm. May 19: 2pm-10pm. €5 / Free for children under 12. Tel: 22-203600 Sixth Annual Exhibition of Cacti and other Succulents Admire rare cacti and succulents as well as plants suitable for growing in Cypriot gardens, sales of plants and books and photography exhibition. May 19. Exhibition Hall in the caves at the Akropolis Park.

10am-7pm. Tel: 99-614686 An Evening for Niki An event dedicated to Niki Marangou, with video screening, presentation of her new poetry, book presentation, music and more. May 24. Famagusta Gate, old Nicosia.

7.30pm The Thrillionaire Revolution How to protect yourself from the financial crisis and create wealth in any economy with self-made multi-millionaire Nik Halik & special guests. May 25-26. Hilton Park Hotel. €69 limited early bird special. Tel: 70-008087. info@thrillionairerevolutioncyprus.com www.thrillionairerevolutioncyprus.com

Gethsemane A play about British public life by David Hare. May 22. Larnaca Municipal Theatre.

8.30pm. In Greek. €12/6. Tel: 77-772717 The Tale of Tsar Saltan Moscow musical theatre Experiment present opera by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. May 25. Skala Theatre, Larnaca. 6pm.

For children 6 years and up. €10. Tel: 24652800/ 96-302770 Playing Doctor Theatro Skala presents the contemporary American comedy by William Van Zandt and Jane Milmore. Until May 26. Skala Theatre, 15 Kyriakou Matsi Street. On Saturdays at 8.30pm and Sunday at 6.30pm. In Greek.

Tel: 24-652800

Limassol district This House – NT Live Screening of James Graham’s political drama performed by the National Theatre Live. May 22. Rialto Theatre. 8.30pm. €8/5.

Greek and English subtitles. Tel: 77-777745 The Tale of Tsar Saltan Moscow musical theatre Experiment present opera by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. May 25. Agios Athanasios Municipal Theatre, 42 Stavraetou tou Machera Street.

12midday. For children 6 years and up. €10.

Tel: 25-724135/ 96-302770

Paphos district Flying ship Moscow musical theatre Experiment present a musical for children and their parents based on the cult of a Soviet animated film. May 26. Markideio Theatre. For children 3 years and up. 6pm. €10. Tel: 96302770/26-932571

Other Events Nicosia district

Potamia May Fair Event aimed at celebrating the efforts of Potamia residents in rejuvenating the local history and heritage of the village. The Fair will include traditional foods, drinks, dance and music performances and a guided village tour. May 26. Potamia Village Centre.

10.30-2.30pm. www.potamiaheritage.com Berlin – Alexanderplatz Remastered Screening of 14-episode mini-series by Rainer Warner Fassbinder. May 8 until June 6. Hall of the Goethe-Institut Cyprus. Every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday at 7pm.

In German with Greek subtitles. Free. Tel: 22-674606 Kyriakos Michaelides Tailor Museum A sightseeing attraction for visitors in the area as well as a space where the young and new generations may become aware of the richness of the traditional tailor’s craft dating back to the sixties. Old Nicosia, Phaneromeni area. Tel: 99-796333 Singing Group Singing for fun. All kinds of music in harmony small Nicosia group Tuesdays 5.30pm-7pm, all welcome. Call Olivia 99-497318 Rooftop Theatre Group Regular play script-writing workshop. In the room next to Kala Kathoumena coffee shop in old Nicosia (Phaneromeni Square).

6pm. In English. Tel: 22- 661354 Kindermusik with Vaso Come and see how music and movement can stimulate your young child’s developing mind and body. Tel: 96-693462. For full details please visit: www.kindermusikwithvaso.com. kindermusikwithvaso@gmail. com Childrens African DrumagiQ Includes: Drums and rhythm tuition with educational approach, psychological expertise, culture, customs, games, dance and innovative creative techniques. Every Friday. Kisa Centre, old Nicosia. 5-6pm for children under 12, 6-7pm for children 12-15.

Tel: 22-878181 Serenity House Offering classes in yoga, tai chi and anger management, self awareness seminars traditional Thai and classic massage, and more. Serenity House, 2 Einstein St, Ay. Omologites. Tel: 99-434353, Rebecca (Yoga) 99-487927 or splishys@cytanet. com.cy Healing Rooms Free 20 minutes healing sessions for the well-being of spirit, mind and body in a loving atmosphere. Confidential. Every second and fourth Thursday of the month.

8-9.30pm. 225 Strovolos Avenue, near Metro roundabout (above Afrikanos Bath Store). Tel: 99-771084

Inter-faith prayers and meditation Every Friday. Baha’i Centre, 11 Parthenonos, Kaimakli. Tel: 22-624283 HIV Discussion Group Discussing issues around HIV for sufferers and friends of sufferers. Every Thursday. UNESCO Amphitheatre, Intercollege, Makedonitissas Ave. 7pm. Free Nicosia Horrible Hash House Harriers Exercise, eat, drink and be merry with Nicosia Hash House Harriers. Meetings every Tuesday 7.30pm for a walk, jog or run around Nicosia. For directions to the run or more info, Tel: 99-308436 or visit www. nh4.com.cy Nicosia Writers’ Workshop If you enjoy creative writing and want to meet people with similar skills, then the Nicosia Writers’ Workshop is the place to be, so bring your ideas and we’ll open a new world together. 48 Rik Avenue, Angantzia.

Every Sunday from 11am-1pm. Free membership to new candidates. Ring Machela on 99-867315 Writing Workshops Unleash your creative side with Rhay Christou. Rhay’s Studio, Old Nicosia. Tel: 99 522333 Italian for Beginners Lessons offered by the Dante Alighieri Society and the Italian Embassy. Monday and Wednesday 6.30pm-8pm.Tel: 22358168/99-339644 Children’s Theatre Workshop Dionysus Theatre brings kids closer to theatre. Three different age groups, ranging from 6-18+. Classes are in Greek. Dionysus Theatre, 29 Diagorou St. Tel: 22818999/99-621845 or visit www.music.net. cy/dionysos Play in a Day Fun theatre workshops geared towards adults. Every Thursday 6-8pm. (lessons for youths between 14 and 17 also take place on Wednesday 5pm-7pm). €15 per session or €50 per month. Taught in Greek and English. For registration Tel: 99-130916/99552654. theatrenicosia@gmail.com Arts & Moods Creative workshops for children of all ages.

15 Averoff Street, Strovolos. Tel: 22313142. email: artsandmoods@cytanet.com.cy Brocante Antique and vintage furniture market.

Every Sunday 9am-7pm. In front of the old municipal market in old Nicosia and outside the Akanthos workshop space. Tel: 22-100984. www.facebook.com/akanthos. furniture St Paul’s Thrift Shop Thrift Shop for clothes and bric-a-brac is open every Saturday morning from 10ammidday in St Paul’s Cathedral car park. Lots of bargains on offer at very reasonable prices. Tel : 22-445221 St Paul’s Babies and Toddlers Non-religious, non-political and multi-national organisation that caters for newborn to pre-school kids with activities including outdoor and indoor play equipment and toys. St Paul’s Church Hall, Byron Avenue.

No membership required. babiesandtoddlers.googlepages.com Cans for Kids Quiz Nights First Friday of every month. 8.30pm. Esogba, behind the Junior School. €5. Drinks and home cooked food available. Tel: 99666011. www.cansforkids.org Cyprus Go Association Meetings every Saturday to learn the game and improve skills. Oktana Café, 2 Aristidou St. 5pm. Tel: 99-476253. cyprus@europeango.org, cyprus.european-go.org Porcelain Painting Paint your own dinner set or special gift for your loved ones. Beginners classes morning and afternoon. Strovolos. Tel: 99620992 Saint Andrews Bridge Club Wednesday, Friday and Saturday 4pm, Saturday 7pm-10pm; 15 Heroes Avenue. Tel: 22-781063 or 96-510121 Tarot Card Game Lessons Not lessons in the divination art but rather the strategy and memory game. Every Wednesday evening. Brasserie Au Bon Plaisir, 15 Alasias Street. 8pm. Tel 96-755111 The World of Wine Beginners and advanced specialised courses for enthusiasts who wish to become more confident in understanding and enjoying fine wines and spirits. Tailor-made courses, wine classes and tasting can also be organised on request. Spectus shops, Nicosia and Limassol. Tel: 25-341525 Coffee Morning A warm welcome for all women. Interesting talks and a chance to get together socially. Second Thursday of the month. (except July and August). 9.30am St.Paul’s Church Hall, Byron Avenue. In English. Tel: 22-329293/99-924363 Walking Tours of Nicosia Mondays: Palouriotissa and Kaimakli: the past restored guided bus and walking tour.

Thursdays: walking tour of Nicosia. Free.

Tel: 22-674264

20 WHAT’S ON

LECTURE

Healing arts in time of crisis Bird Watching in Cyprus Birdlife Cyprus regularly arranges bird watching trips around the island. Tel: 22455072, 99-059541. www.birdlifecyprus. org Horse Races Every Wednesday and Sunday at the Nicosia Race Club. Tel: 22-782727. Subject to change check website. www.nicosiaraceclub.com.cy

Leon Friendly Darts League Meetings carried out at selected pubs: Tuesdays, 8.30pm. Tel: Bob Johnson on 24-427275 Mazotos Camel Park Adventures for the family. Camel rides, swimming, play areas and more. Tel: 24991243/99-416968. www.camel-park.com

Larnaca district

The FXTM International Boxing Cup Final 2013 Boxers of Olympic standard from three continents and 15 countries compete for the Cup. May 19. Spyros Kyprianou Athletic Centre. 6pm. Free but space is limited- register https://www.facebook. com/events/424760550954384/. Tel: 25818164 Lanes and Courtyards of Lania The women of Lania will be pleased to welcome you to walk along the picturesque lanes and visit their open courtyards. May 18-19. Lania Village. 10am-7pm. Sunday 6pm raffle, 6.30pm-8pm music at the museum International Christian Fellowship East Please join us, Sundays 10.30am, Angel’s English Nursery School, 37 Ampelakion, Germasogia. Sunday school available, small groups meet midweek. Tel: 99815033. www.icf.org.cy Day out in Lania Visit the museum, church, olive mill, wine press and the artists’ galleries. Lania. Glennis208@gmail.com Island Blend Barber shop group sing a wide repertoire of songs at events and raise money for Friends for Life. Every Thursday at UKCA, 4pm-6pm. Tel: 25-397456 The World of Wine Beginners and advanced specialised courses for enthusiasts who wish to become more confident in understanding and enjoying fine wines and spirits. Spectus shops, Nicosia and Limassol. Tel: 22511521/25-341525 Food for Friends Vegetarian social group, with monthly lunch-time outings to tavernas and short presentations on related subjects. Monthly lunch on last Saturday of month. Tel: 25634487/25-634487 Rising Star Youth Theatre of Limassol Theatre workshop for aspiring actors and actresses from the age of 6 years and up.

Call 99-608826 for information.

Children’s Theatre Workshop Organised by the Versus theatre group.

Theatro Ena, Limassol Municipal Market, old town. Classes for ages: 5-9, 10-13, 17-17.

Saturdays 9am-3pm. Tel: 99-428691. www. theatroversus.com Magic Craft Supplies For the latest on Magic Craft Supplies & Penny’s Parties, please visit www.pennycyprusmagic.com 25-634487/99-304237 Theatre Workshops Open to students between six and 16. Every Saturday. ETHAL Theatre. Basement, 76 Franklin Roosevelt Ave. Tel: 25-877827 Premiere Group Theatre group producing annual musicals.

The group conducts monthly social events that include camping, picnics and sports evenings. Tel: 25-775922. www.premiere. com.cy C3A Limassol Join us and share educational, creative and leisure activities in friendly, sociable groups. Attend Open meetings, listen to informative talks, enjoy social activities.: C3A gmail (c3a.limassol@gmail.com) C3A, PO Box 51922, 3509 Limassol. Find out more: http://c3a-cyprus.org/limassol/ Help Me Grow Lecture on child development by the Health Ministry. Every Wednesday. Lecture hall, New Limassol Hospital. 6pm. In Greek.

Free Baha’is of Limassol Weekly discussion circle. Tel: 25-340021 Happy Valley Hash House Harriers Weekly runs on Thursdays around the southwest of the island, times vary, see www.hvh3.org.uk. Tel: 99-434794

Amathus Hash House Harriers Run, jog or walk every Sunday afternoon. For more info Tel: 99-905746. www.ah3.freeservers.com Limassol Walks Get to know the historical centre of Limassol. Mondays at 10am. Walks begin at the CTO Information Office, 115A Spyros Araouzos St. Free. Tel: 25362756 Limassol Crusaders Rugby Club Training on grass for Cyprus League matches, or just to get fit, Tuesdays 6.30-8.30pm and Thursdays 7-9pm, AEK Katholiki Stadium, Tagmatarchou Pouliou St. Seniors and Juniors. Tel: 96-323962. www.limassolcrusadersrfc. com Table Tennis Monday and Friday at 10 am at UKCA, 37 Termopilis Street. Contact Antonio 99-334706 Limassol Bridge Club Mondays and Fridays, 3.30pm at Limassol Sporting Club. Tel 99-645338 Car Boot Sale Every Saturday and Sunday at Moni Station. Tel: 25-323525/25-365102 Linopetra Corner Car boot sale on Saturdays, 8am-2pm.

Tel: 99-612832 Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffaloes Social and benevolent organisation.

Aphrodite Bitter Lake Lodge meet at the UKCA Club. Wednesdays, 6pm. Tel: 99-425527. The Troodos Pride of Cyprus Lodge meets at the UKCA Club. Every other Sunday, 10am. Tel: 99-345384

Paphos district ing the role that art has to play, if any at all, in the current crisis that is not solely economic but a crisis of society itself.

The following day at the Limassol Municipal Market MoCC and NeMe present A Pound of Flesh, a series of interventions and new artworks by Lanfranco Aceti. The artworks, installations, performances, videos and photographs focus on the current social crisis and question relationships of power and money.

Trimming the Arts: Art Cuts and the Role of the Artist within Societies in Crisis A talk by Lanfranco Aceti addressing the role that art has to play in the current crisis. May 22. Point Centre for Contemporary Art, Megaro Hadjisavva, 2, Evagorou Avenue, Nicosia.

7.30pm. Tel: 22-662053 A Pound of Flesh A performance by Lanfranco Aceti that questions the current European economic crisis and its social impact. May 23.

Limassol Municipal Market, Kanari Street. 10.30-12.30. Tel: 25-354719 Riding for the Disabled Horse riding for disabled riders from The Red Cross and Theotokos Foundation every Thursday morning 8.30am-11.30am.

Happy Valley, Episkopi. Volunteers greatly needed to assist with rides. Tel: 25-773058.

Email: rdaroster@gmail.com RAFA Aphrodite Branch Social Meeting First Wednesday of every month. Sergeants Mess. Akrotiri. No food provided. 7.30pm.

Tel: 25-932196 RAF Akrotiri Voluntary Band The band plays a large repertoire of classical music at military dinners, Episkopi Fete and charity fund raisers. Meetings every Monday: 7.30pm. Padre’s Centre at RAF Akrotiri. Tel: 99-925524 The Royal Military Police Association The Cyprus branch seeks new members.

First Friday of every month. The RMP Corporals Mess, WSBA Episkopi. 2pm. Tel: 26642120/99-453867 Cyprus Donkey Sanctuary Visitor centre with shop, refreshments, hillside walk and picnic area. Friends of the Cyprus Donkey, Vouni. Daily 10am-4pm.

Tel: 25-945488 Ocean Bar Restaurant Every Thursday: Bingo Night, 8pm. Tel: 96381509. Every Friday: Multi Media Quiz with many prizes to be won, 8.30pm. Tel: 99032876. Ocean Bar Restaurant, 10 Christina Court, Onicilliou St, Ayios Tychonas

Remembering Niki The family and friends of the late Niki Marangou are organising an evening in her honour at Famagusta Gate, this Friday.

Marangou tragically died in car accident while in Egypt in early February and her death has left a significant void in Cyprus’ cultural society.

Not only was she an accomplished poet and author but also an acclaimed painter. An individual of varying talents, she recorded each moment through her sketches, verses, colours and tracings illustrating the history and beauty of Cyprus.

During the event on Friday, audiences can enjoy a presentation of Marangou’s latest poetry

collection, a video screening, a book presentation and singing by Nicoletta Demetriou.

An Evening for Niki An event dedicated to Niki Marangou, with video screening, presentation of her new poetry, book presentation, music and more.

May 24. Famagusta Gate, in Nicosia. 7.30pm

MEMORIAL

Medical Event Cultural event to mark 2000 year anniversary of the death of Dr Apollonios of Kition (The Cypriot Hippocrates), with lectures on medical theatre, Dr Apollonios and ancient Greek wrestling. May 23. Kyriazis Medical Museum, 35 Karaoli & Demetriou Street (off Hermes Street near St Lazarus area).

7 30 pm. General discussion in Greek and English Tel: 97-606424 Cyprus Sub Aqua Club Divers with their own equipment can join this BSAC dive club for fun shore and boat diving around the island. Social meetings and training sessions held regularly in Larnaca. Qualified divers from other dive affiliations can undertake cross-over training to the BSAC system on joining. Tel: 97-767200 Transformative Tarot Course Fun & educational, meet other like-minded people. Tuesdays and Wednesdays. 7.30-9 .30pm. contact: seekersofthetarot@yahoo. com for more details Kara – Mind & Body Centre Gain a certificate in Tarot Reading. An 18week course that covers symbology, colourology, numerology and much more.

KARA - Mind & Body Centre, Oroklini. Tel: 99-029952. tarotcyprus.yolasite.com/ about-us.php Fisu Meditation Learn Fisu Meditation. Free introductory talks on why meditate and what meditation is all about. Book by appointment, 24532479/99-665330 Larnaca Hash House Harriers Every Monday, 5pm. For more information call Fred-the-web on 24-647175 Kition Hash House Harriers Run/jog/walk from a pub/taverna round the town and back. Wednesday evenings, 7.30pm. All welcome. Join us and have some fun. Tel: 24-647283 Antidote Theatre Workshops Drama workshops for children aged 5- can attend weekly workshops to learn about theatre through games and play, and participate in productions staged at the end of each year. Theatre Antidote also offers its students the Trinity Guildhall drama examinations in June, a useful qualification for university applications. Antidote Theatre, Apothikes st.Lazarus. Tel: 24-822677. info@theatreantidote.com/ www.theatreantidote.com Baby Antidote Brings the young tots up to 3yrs in touch with theatre, by combining storytelling, fairytales and play. Through interactive performances inspired by favourite children’s books, the heroes come to life as the little ones embody them in their own unique way. Apothikes st. Lazarus. Every Monday and Friday, 9.30-11.30am. Entrance is €4 per family, and includes refreshments and snacks.

Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffalos Social and benevolent organisation supporting charitable groups. The James Mercury Lodge meets at Dhekelia Barracks. Every Tuesday, 7.30pm. Next to ‘George’s Taxi’ on the South Road. Tel: 24-635812 RAFA Larnaca Bay Branch Social gathering taking place on second Tuesday of each month. Beachcomber Restaurant, Makenzie Beach . 7pm. Tel: 24363752. www.rafacyprus.co.uk/larnaca Larnaca Reading Group If you enjoy reading and debating the pros and cons of a book, you are welcome to join, the group endeavours to read a diverse selection of books. Larnaca Reading Group (LRG) meets the first Monday of each month in the Reading Lounge, upstairs in the Academic & General Bookshop, address: 41 Hermes Street. Tel: 24628401/99-597094/99-925315 Cash Bingo Eyes down every Wednesday, 8.30pm, and Sunday, 8.30pm, Makedonas restaurant, Dhekelia road. Food and drinks available at venues. Tel: 99-108391 Line Dancing Every Friday, 8pm. Makedonas restauraunt, Dhekelia road. Tel: 99-108391 Royal Engineers’ Association Meets on second Tuesday of the month at venues around the Island. For details of next meeting contact Bob Beer (Chair) on 97-633728 Larnaca Chicago Bridge Club Thursdays, 9.30am-1pm. Tel: Pete on 24424899 Larnaca Walking Tours Wednesdays: Larnaca Past and Present, 10am from CTO office in Vassileos Pavlou Square. Fridays: Skala and its Craftsmen, 10am from Larnaca Fort. Tel: 24-654322

Limassol district

As the financial crisis strengthens its grip across Europe, artistic and cultural institutions are among the first to face cuts, with theatres, galleries and educational programmes all facing uncertain futures as their budgets and public subsidies are slashed.

But what role do artists within societies play in working to minimise the negative impacts of the downturn?

This is the underlying theme of two events taking place on Wednesday and Thursday in Nicosia and Limassol respectively. The first happening will see Lanfranco Aceti – an academic, artist and curator present a talk – entitled Trimming the Arts: Art Cuts and the Role of the Artist within Societies in Crisis. The talk will be delivered at the Point Centre for Contemporary Art, in Nicosia on Wednesday.

Taking as its starting point Pier Paolo Pasolini’s analysis of exploitation of labour and Jean Baudrillard’s idea of ‘commodification’, Trimming the Arts examines the current metaphysical remnants of state, society and the citizen.

The talk will present and discuss the artistic and curatorial practice of the Museum of Contemporary Cuts, address-

The Kamares Festival Over 40 stands, charity games, tennis tournament and entertainment for adults and children. May 25. Kamares Club near Tala. 10am-5pm.

Refreshments available throughout the day. Free Entry. Tel: 99-387311 or contact mail@in-any-event.biz The Living in Paphos Expo A free weekly show with Local Businesses, exhibitors, market stalls, car boot, charities and attractions for all- with daytime and evening live shows. every Wednesday thereafter. La Fontaine, on the Tombs of the Kings road, between Pentaras Tavern and St. George Hotel. 2pm. Free. Tel: 99008577. livinginpaphos@gmail.com. www. facebook.com/livingin.paphos.1 Spiritualist Meetings.

Monthly Modern Spiritualists in Cyprus meetings held on the last Sunday of the month in Stroumbi. 7pm start. For full details www.yvebrooks.org or Tel 97-801472 Paphos Flower Club Courses in flower arranging. Anglican Church Hall, Kato Paphos. Beginners 2pm, intermediate classes 12.30pm. Beginners.

Tel: 99-475564. Intermediate: 99-744635 Orphean Singers Three times a year singing group delights audiences with an entertaining concert.

Meetings every Friday at Kamaras club, 9.30am-12pm. Tel: 26-913249 Paphos Light Music Society A new group starting up in Paphos for the appreciation of light opera, Gilbert and Sullivan etc. Non-singers also welcome.

Meetings every fourth Monday at 3.00pm in Paphos area. Tel: 99-370883 Paphos Town Centre Walking Tour Get acquainted with the newest part of the city and learn how the town evolved from the late Byzantine and Mediaeval times. Every Thursday, 10am. CTO Information Office, 3 Gladstonos St. Tel. 26-932841 The Corona Society Go along and meet new friends at monthly meetings held every second Wednesday of the month, 2.30pm – 4pm. Coffee mornings held every last Tuesday of the month, 10.30am – 12.00pm. Annabelle Hotel. All proceeds go to local charities.

Tel: 99- 177479 Scottish Country Dancing With the St Andrew’s Society, Paphos, at the Latin Parish Hall every Tuesday evening from September to May 6-8pm. Beginners welcome 5.30pm. Tel: 99-298512 Timi Village Car Boot Market Every Sunday 7am-1pm all through the year. Tel: 99-611637 Evans Plus Evans Comedy Magic Show, at the New Kikkos Bar Coral Bay - Alternate Tuesdays. 9.30pm.

Tel 99-173801 Singles Nights at Ollie’s Bar Every second and fourth Saturday of the month. Ollie’s Bar, Trimithousa. 8pm. Tel: 99-769899 Quiz Nights Play for weekly prizes and a jackpot. Every Friday. Kings Hotel, Tomb of the Kings Road. 8.30pm. €2. Tel: 26-939075 Quiz night Quiz at the New Olympus Hotel. Every second Thursday of the month. 7.30pm. To register your team call: 26-932020 New Friendly Bridge Chicago bridge every Tuesday with all bridge partnerships welcome. Fantasia Club. 6.45pm. Tel: 26-937551 Table Tennis Club Night Coaching for all levels by Gordon Allen.

Every Wednesday night. New venue, 7pm.

Tel: 99-841471, 26-652763 Badminton Club Atromitos Badminton Club for children and adults four times a week, days and evenings, to suit all levels, coaching available or play just for fun.

Tel: 99-971150/99-519504.badmintonpaphos@cytanet.com.cy www. atromitosbadmintonclub.org Emba Badminton club Emba Badminton club meets on Saturday mornings, and Tuesday and Friday afternoons. All levels of play are catered for. Tel: 99-276192. www.EmbaBadmintonClub.org.

Paphos Tigers RFC Mini Rugby: Tuesdays, 4.30pm5.30pm. Kinyras Centre, Cypria Maris Sports Ground. Tel: 99934315/26-652959. barrie@cytanet.com.cy Paphos Cycling Club Newly founded to help promote cycling in Paphos as a great form of exercise, meeting and making new friends and a perfect way to see areas of beauty in Cyprus you would never normally see. We are an informal club and we welcome new members from all walks of life and abilities. We meet every Sunday at Hectors Barin Coral Bay at 9am. Tel: 99-320213. www.paphoscyclingclub.com

Paphos Adonis Lions Club Meetings every second and fourth Monday of the month at Paphos Gardens Hotel Resort. New members welcome as well as visiting members of other Lions Clubs. Tel: 26-622810/97-635883 Alzheimer Self Help and Support Group Offers dementia patients and their carers the opportunity to meet others with this condition, share feelings and exchange experiences. Latin Parish Hall, Coastal Rd. Chlorakas. Every first Wednesday of the month at 10am. Tel: 26-621530/96767164 Cancer Patients’ Support Group Association’s Day Centre - 84 Ellados Avenue, Paphos, near Carrefour’s on Polis Road. Tel: 26-952478. Coffee morning on the second Tuesday of the month, 10.30am. Craft group meet every Thursday, 10am-12pm. New members always welcome. Quiz nights and meal on Thursdays and meal, 7 for 7.30pm. Tel: 26654007 or visit www.cancerpatientssupport.net Cancer Patients’ Support Group – Paphos Information Help Line Trained volunteers who will listen and assist anyone needing information, emotional support, befriending or referral to an appropriate professional. Available from 9am-1pm Monday to Friday. Tel: 97760989 Paphos Bereavement Support Group The Group meets the first Monday of the month from 2 – 4 pm at the Cyprus Samaritans Centre, Chlorakas. For more information please contact Sally on 99312662 or Rita on 99-175510 Gamblers Anonymous Support group for gambling addicts, partners and families. Meetings every Tuesday. Ayia Kyriaki Anglican Church Hall, Kato Paphos. 7.30pm. Tel: 26-622289 Self-Improvement and Fulfilment Dr. Eva Bratslavsky clinical psychologist and psychotherapist weekly discussion group meetings on self-confidence, selfesteem, relationship enhancement, assertiveness. 3pm. Tel: 99-495467 Hemi-Sync sound technology of The Monroe Institute Metamusic CDs for quantum learning, deep relaxation, meditation, workshops.

Contact Linda Leblanc, accredited Outreach Trainer of The Monroe Institute. Tel: 26-621272/ psygnos@spidernet.com.cy Reiki Training Philip Westwood, Reiki Master/Teacher is now taking bookings for Reiki 1 & Reiki 2 training courses.Tel: 99-407526/26271640 or email philipreiki@cytanet.com. cy Polis Charity Bookshop, Crafts and More Now open six days a week. Monday- Saturday, 10am- 1pm. Large stock of books, videos, talking books, jigsaws and greeting cards. Proceeds donated to local charities. Goods in first rate condition always needed. Arch. Makarios Avenue, Polis Chrysochous. Tel: 99-867511 Mums ‘n’ Toddlers Group Mums, Tots & Babies - Join us for a fun filled morning of Music & Movement, Story time, Arts & Crafts, Free Play, snack & coffee time etc. Spacious garden at our new location in Chloraka. Five groups per week offered. Also ongoing sale of nearly new clothing (1Euro per item) raising funds for local charities. Tel: 99-867662.

First Time Mums’ Club Come and join us for a cup of tea. Bring baby with you and meet other mums and get tips, ideas and advice on caring for your little infant. Weekly meetings where topics include breastfeeding, bottle feeding, sleeping tips for baby and mom, milestones, what works and lots more.

Thurs 10-12. Chlorakas. Tel: 96-429659 Apollo Branch of the Royal Air Forces Association Meeting on the third Thursday of every month. UKCA Clubhouse, Tombs of the Kings Road. 7pm. Tel: 26-991615 Basic Dog Training and Grooming Fridays. 3pm. Kallepia. Tel: 26-643079/99105557

Famagusta district Tours around Ayia Napa Ayia Napa and the Sea: a different dimension. Mondays in English and German; Fridays in English and Swedish, 10am from CTO office. Tel: 23-721796 Folk Art Workshop Art workshop for children. Cultural Centre of Famagusta, Evagorou 35, Dherynia. Tel: 23-721140 Bingo and Games Every Tuesday night. Quiz, bingo and games every Thursday night. Party night every Saturday. Woody’s Inn, Protaras. Tel: 23-831690 Charity Boot Sale Every Tuesday morning. Woody’s Inn, Protaras. 10am-12pm. Tel: 23-831690 Open Air Market Every Wednesday. St Thekla Beach restaurant, Ayia Thekla, 500m from the church.

9am-4pm. Tel: 23-743778

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

FASHION 21

It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing Do you dream of dressing like Daisy? Are you set on making Nick Carraway your style icon this season? KAREN y s stylish sy s DACRE sizzes with sartorial suggestions for today’s fans of flappers and sports jackets The Gatsby Gal The White Dress al Daisy Buchanan’s ethereal at white dress is one of The Great ial Gatsby’s best known sartorial streference points making it a musthave item for those who wish to hile pay homage to the fi lm. While gerDaisy’s gowns – used by Fitzgerald to project her innocence - were y 21st flowing and unashamedly frilly, s look should century adopters of this is puff detail steer clear of flounce. This s the purist’s dress (left) by Moncler is choice. (moncler.com) Something by Miuccia Prada Baz Luhrmann mustt y have jumped for joy when Mrs Prada agreed to robe collaborate with wardrobe ti on his hi designer Catherine Martin Gatsby remake. The costumes, a series of reinterpreted Prada and Miu Miu creations from previous collections, will delight fashion fans. This Daisy-ready iridescent dress (right) from Prada’s autumn/winter 2011 is sublime. Lucky Miss Mulligan.

Lena Erziak, otherwise make a beeline for Accesorize. (avenue32.com)

The Gatsby Guy

T-Bar Shoes Hail the T-bar sandal, the Twenties’ greatest footwear legacy. Glorious on both a practical and aesthetic level - try dancing the Charleston in a pair of these (above, top) by Alexander Wang - as well as serving as the perfect partners to a mid-length evening dress. (brownsfashion.com)

The Sports Jacket Guys looking to embrace Gatsby should start with a fitted sports jacket - preferably in seersucker and definitely in a pastel shade. All-American outfitter Brooks Brothers (right), the label responsible for the costumes in the film, is the best place to start your search (brooksbrothers.com).

Gilted Trims Art Deco accessorises are essential for Gatsby girls. Splash the cash on this hard-case clutch (top) by

Saddle up These leather saddle Oxfords (above, below) were created by men’s cobbler Mr Hare with Jerry Lee Lew-

is in mind - placing them decades after The Great Gatsby’s time.

But on this occasion throw caution to the wind - this is a shoe of which Gatsby’s revellers would be proud. (mrhare.com) Bling for him Jay Gatsby relied on metallic accessories to project his apparent wealth – a fact worth remembering the next time you arrange to meet your mortgage adviser. Or perhaps not. Team this Dolce & Gabbana tie (right) with a white shirt - Gatsby’s silver alternative may be a step too far. (mrporter.com)

M&S’ make-or-break clothing strategy gets early thumbs-up Coat, bag and hat from the new collections

Fashion media and analysts broadly welcomed Marks & Spencer’s new clothing strategy and a preview of autumn/ winter fashion ranges this week, giving the fi rm’s boss some respite from pressure over falling sales.

Britain’s biggest clothing retailer said it would focus on better quality and styles in womenswear, deliver more compelling and clearer sub-brands, and make shopping easier in stores, as it tries to reverse nearly two years of

declining sales.

Some key fashion editors who have already viewed the ranges liked them.

Lisa Armstrong of The Daily Telegraph called it “the most convincing effort I’ve seen for a long time,” The Times’ Laura Craik said “M&S is back in the game,” and the Guardian’s Jess Cartner-Morley said the collection “could be a high street game changer.”

Liz Jones, the influential fashion columnist at the Daily Mail newspaper, had

a sneak preview last week and said she was “pleasantly surprised”, praising much improved quality. “This new collection is ethical, it is cool, it is classy, and it is part of the fi rst collection from the new broom at M&S. And I think women will adore it,” she said.

Chief Executive Marc Bolland, CEO since May 2010, is under pressure from investors to revive M&S’ clothing business, which has reported seven straight quarterly falls in underlying sales.

Liz Jones trying the clothes for size

May 19, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

22 BEAUTY Will of the wisp: bun at Margaret Howell for this spring/summer

Buns are knocking the knot off the top A classic look gets a new twist says EMMA MCCARTHY

S

tyle isn’t always about perfection. Socks clash, jumpers sag and cans of Red Stripe are always room temperature. And, when it comes to hair, it’s best served three days old and piled on top of the head like a pineapple. For the past few years, fascination with the topknot can be largely put down to the fact that it requires practically no effort whatsoever (and looks as if it requires even less than that).

But it has now developed into an industry – in came the hair doughnuts, the smoothing combs, the cans of glossing spray and the handfuls of artfully arranged bobby pins, taking the style from the preserve of festivals and market stalls to the pages of bridal magazines.

Now, you’re far more likely to see a knot on the red carpet a-top of Kim Kardashian or JLo than you are on a teen. But while the style set may have turned their back on the topknot, it seems they haven’t shunned the style altogether. Instead, they’ve reverted back to a classic.

Lower and in some ways even lazier than its predecessor, this summer’s bun - positioned at the nape of the neck - has knocked the top-

Master of the undone bun (and right): Paul Smith sent out models with slicked barnets and low messy knots Chanel

knot off the top spot. But while the positioning may have shifted, the casual nonchalance has remained fi rmly in place.

The key, it seems, is texture. On the spring/summer 13 catwalks Paul Smith offered a lesson in achieving the perfect undone bun as he sent out models with slicked barnets and low messy knots to complement his fluid yet structured collection.

“To create the loose bun I used a hydrating styling cream applied throughout the lengths of the ponytail with the fi ngertips to create texture,” explains hairstylist Peter Gray, who used Moroccan oil to cre-

Lower and in some ways even lazier than its predecessor, this summer’s bun - positioned at the nape of the neck - has knocked the topknot off the top spot

ate the looks backstage. “The ponytail was then loosely wound around a tail comb to create a more organic look instead of the traditional twisted roped bun look. Small pins were used to secure the bun in place while allowing wisps of hair to fall free - adding to the loose textured appearance.”

Queen of casual attire Margaret Howell also championed the effortless up-do in her SS13 offering, with loosely braided buns helping to soften the masculine silhouette, while both Valentino and Chanel opted for roughly textured buns situated on the nape of the neck and feathered with wisps of falling hair.

Tiny tattoos are the new sleeves

Fa mentor role for Face model O’Connor m

By Susannah Butter

Mo Model Erin O’Connor is to join Na Naomi Campbell as a mentor in ne new TV series The Face which aim aims to fi nd a new top beauty.

Also added to the line-up of the Sk Sky Living contest is fellow catwa walk star Caroline Winberg.

The trio will each lead a team o of four hopefuls competing a against each other in an effort to fi nd n a new face to front a worldfa famous brand.

Contestants will take part i fashion industry challenges in including photoshoots, catwalk shows and commercials.

O’Connor said: “I can’t wait to get started.”

Campbell, who is also the execu ecutive producer of the show, said: “It going to be a really inspiring “It’s jou journey and as executive producer on the show I truly believe we will n the face.” fi nd

Now Cara Delevingne has another thing in common with her supermodel predecessor Kate Moss: a tattoo. This week she posted a picture on Instagram of her hand, complete with a miniature lion inked on her index fi nger, saying: “My fi rst tattoo!!

Lions rule! Thank you so much @ BangBang badgalriri.”

Indeed, tiny tats are certainly ruling the roost at the moment: singer Adele has her fi rst initial, “A”, inked on the nape of her neck, actress Gemma Arterton has an angel wing behind her ear and Delevingne’s chum Rihanna has a whole host of little inks - including everything from a Pisces sign to stars and musical notes.

“It’s the trend of the moment,” says Colin Jay of LoveHate Social Club Tattoos, the studio run by Huey Morgan from Fun Lovin’ Criminals and his friend Ami James off Lon-

Less is more: Cara Delevingne (right) showed off her new lion tattoo on Instagram

don’s Portobello Road. Meanwhile, over at Good Times studio on Curtain Road, where clients include Moss, subtle silhouettes of birds and infi nity signs are current top

choices.

Could it be that discreet stamps are this year’s decorative – and certainly more dramatic - sleeves? “Lots of clients now think small is the way to start,” confi rms Henry Hate of Prick Tattoo & Piercing in Shoreditch. “It’s about looking pretty rather than a commitet ment for ever. Some people get them as dares.” ls Following the lead of models nsuch as Delevingne and the Danrish star Freja Beha, who underle stand a small, easily coverable stamp is perhaps wise for work, is a shrewd move. So before you start sketching a large nt Harry Styles-esque statement ’s boy piece, like the butterfly that 1D’s p and wonder has on his stomach, stop all is think. This year, it seems, small beautiful.

SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

HEALTH 23

Plantoftheweek VICTORIA STEWART on why broccoli bread, cauliflower pizza and kale crisps are now on the frontline of the...

BY ALEXANDER MCCOWAN

Plant used in Irish folk medicine to cure shingles now being looked at for cancer Name: Stonecrop (Sedum acre)

War on carbs arbs

May 19, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

Habitat: An evergreen perennial member of the Crassulaceae family growing up to 15cm on stone walls, rocky outcrops and roofs in Europe. The plant creates a mat-forming herb with a creeping rhizome with numerous stems bearing triangular, fleshy leaves topped by a pale yellow star-shaped flower. It is poisonous in all parts.

What does it do: Stonecrop contains several alkaloids, principally sedamine and sedanine. In Celtic tradition the plant was known as Orpies and was thought to treat a variety of afflictions which ranged from rabies, snake and spider bite, and hives. In Irish folk medicine it was used to treat shingles (Herpes Zoster), kidney stones and parasitic intestinal worms.

Pliny suggests that the plant will procure good sleep, although he recommends it be wrapped in black cloth and

O

h, holy carbs! You have sweetened us up. You have plumped and energised us. But your exit is nigh. For 2013 could be the year that your erstwhile friend the vegetable gets one up on you. Former JP Morgan trader Paul Shackleton, 27, concocted a recipe for his practically carb-free broccoli bread after being made redundant last year. He now sells 300 sandwiches a day.

Meanwhile, Kimberley Hasselbrink, the San Francisco-based author of the blog A Year in Food, wrote recently about why cauliflower is her go-to vegetable this year. “While I could eat it almost every night simply sautéed with a generous sprinkle of salt and pepper in a little olive oil, when you do something like this you take the pale vegetable to another level. It’s kind of perfect - you have this large, handsome cross-section of cauliflower… providing a maximum surface for deep caramelisation and striking presentation.”

And she is not alone. Back in London, vegetable connoisseur Yotam Ottolenghi thinks the cauliflower is “one of the most exciting vegetables in the world... cauliflower is as versatile as potato but it has a wonderful flavour. It has so many properties that you can easily work with - as long as you give it the right kind of treatment. I always think that chargrilling is a way of introducing flavour to vegetables. And just marinades and spices and herbs and give it all the love in the world.”

Last month the UK-based blog Domestic Sluttery posted a recipe for cauliflower steak, charred and served with garlic and Parmesan sprinkled on top. On Pinterest there are pictures of the same vegetable drizzled with ginger soy sauce, topped with a hummus crust, or sitting on a bed of brown rice. Meanwhile, recipes for cauliflower pizza bases are showing up on American food blogs, the majority of which are made with either eggs and almond flour or mozzarella cheese.

On Mumset, Netto Superstar is enthusiastic: “It’s amazing, truly amazing. The base goes all crispy, and cheesy and delicious, and is just not cauliflower, the topping is what you make it (I put capers on it for me, nice ham for DD, and smoked cheese).”

Kale wants a piece of the carb-

Otherwise known as: Wallpepper, Bird Bread, Mousetail

‘As much as anyone I’ve always struggled with my weight,’ says Paul Shackleton. ‘I probably wouldn’t check if something was low GI or not but I would very purposefully not eat carbohydrates’ free cake too. InSpiral nSpiral Visionary an café near CamProducts is a vegan den Market run by Dominik Schllinik. Having just nell and Bella Willinik. g for their line of secured funding raw dehydrated kale crisps dusted with raspberry, cinnamon, wasabi or cheese, these will be sold online om and in Planet through graze.com Organic. ng this So will eating asta and food instead of pasta ly help sandwiches really t? “As you lose weight? ne I’ve much as anyone d with always struggled ys Paul my weight,” says Shackleton. “I probheck if ably wouldn’t check something was low GI uld very or not but I would purposefully nott eat carts of his banking bohydrates.” Lots colleagues had also cut sandeir diet. “It had wiches out of their … people didn’t a bad reputation… want to have justt a fi ller.”

Every day he eats up to 10 of his fat-free, protein-heavy e from a highsandwiches made

ly secret broccoli bread formula that contains “mainly broccoli with some oregano and other spices, a couple of mystery ingredients (but natural) added fibre and some dairy products and egg white with no supplements or chemical nonsense.” What’s more, on his broccoli sandwich “diet” he lost about a stone in a month.

“It must be stressrelated as well, and the weather’s been better and I’ve been cycling more so it’s all of it… but it’s defi nitely not impeded me losing a bit of weight.” Could this be the beginning of something?

Banking on broccoli: former JP Morgan trader Paul Shackleton

placed under the patient’s pillow without their knowledge.

Gerard recognised its worm expelling qualities and was responsible for making a vermicidal syrup known as ‘theriac’.

Culpepper, was the first physician to offer a note of caution when dealing with the plant because he had witnessed some serious consequences when treating a patient for kidney stones. He wrote ‘it is more apt to raise inflammations than cure them; it ought not be put in any ointment, nor any other medicine’. However, he grew to change his mind and claimed it was excellent in treating scurvy and the ‘King’s Evil’, scrofula.

In the 19th century it was still being used by herbalists to treat warts, swellings and dropsy. Other members of this family have proven efficient in the treatment of haemorrhoids, dysentery and diarrhea.

Current research into the Crassulaceae family suggest that it may have cancer treating properties.

mac123@cytanet.com.cy

24 BOOKS

Keira Knightly in The Duchess about some of the Devonshires

Illegitimate child gives rise to loss and longing

By Jane Shilling

Dynasty dependent on its women

By Adam Nicolson A Punch cartoon, two dukes at a party, one whispering into the other’s ear: “Don’t you think it must be just terrible being an earl?” He was right, of course. There is a beautiful, rubber-springed continuousness to ducal life that no other rank can match. No one, from one generation to the next, has to be particularly clever, virtuous or imaginative. Not much work needs to be done. Ambition might be something toyed with at breakfast but can be discarded in the afternoon. Catastrophically bad advice can be acted on regardless.

Money and property, invariably attached to marriageable young women, pours into their pockets like water down a plughole. Debts accumulate but it doesn’t seem to matter.

Rembrandts and Rubenses arrive as if from nowhere. Houses gather like sheep around a trough.

By the mid-19th century the Devonshires had enough houses to open a chain of luxury hotels. In London, Chiswick House, Devonshire House and Burlington House, plus Holker Hall in Lancashire, Hardwick Hall and Chatsworth in Derbyshire, Bolton Abbey in Yorkshire, Compton Place in Sussex, Lismore Castle in

PAPERBACKS

Ireland and Beaufort House in Newmarket, all of them surrounded by slabs of enviable land.

The human beings at the centre of this gathering of riches were spookily laid-back. One 18th-century Devonshire duke agreed to become prime minister on condition that if he didn’t like it, he could stop.

His Victorian descendant was asked to be prime minister on three separate occasions but refused each time.

A third was asked by Churchill if he wanted to be Viceroy of India but decided on the whole not. The 5th Duke (they were all called William Cavendish, but this was the one acted by Ralph Fiennes in the fi lm The Duchess) was so bored by life that he even found his debauchery dull, going through the routine of gambling, drinking and sex as if they were the sort of workaday tasks dukes were expected to perform.

His son and successor spent his life in what one of his friends called “a happy apathy”. Another “uttered fewer words in the course of his life than any man who lived to four score years”. The 3rd Duke was “not a man of superior abilities but a man faithful to his word”.

The result of these near-cataton-

The Devonshires: The Story of a Family and a Nation

By Roy Hattersley

ic levels of insouciance in the Cavendish males makes for an emptyhearted story (in The Devonshires: The Story of a Family and a Nation

By Roy Hattersley), at times not unlike the account of several generations of a breed of much loved but not wildly impressive Labradors.

The ardour and vigour in the story is in the sequence of magnificent women: Bess of Hardwick, the Elizabethan founder of the dynasty who outlived four husbands, pocketed their cash and numbered 20 dukes among her descendants; the “emotionally incontinent” Georgiana, who shot through Georgian London like a meteor; and at the very end the great Debo Devonshire, who is not really described or addressed here.

But in his focus on maleness and politics, Hattersley, who is sniffy about “feminist historians”, has left aside what is really interesting here - the whole question of how much of the family identity in this elevated class was carried by the women, their sense of discipline and destiny, their control of money and men, their relationships to the heirs they gave birth to. Was it not the women who kept the Cavendish show on the road?

Melvyn Bragg has written an astonishing number of books. His fi rst novel was published in 1965 and 32 titles are listed in his latest fiction (Grace and Mary). He turns frequently for inspiration to the events of his life.

His latest novel is based on the stories of his grandmother, Isabelle (renamed Grace), and of his mother, Mary, to whom Isabelle, then unmarried, gave birth in 1917, and who was raised by a foster mother. Mary was suffering from dementia when she died last year, aged 95. Bragg’s novel weaves together stories of the two women’s early lives with an account of Mary’s final, dementia-clouded years in a care home. Her 71-yearold son John visits regularly from London, where his days are filled with “committees, commitments, entertainment, engagements” and work on a book about the fi rst vernacular translation of the Bible (a subject on which Bragg has also written).

The novel addresses the ancient habits and prejudices of a simpler age. Grace’s childhood is sunny: her grandparents love her; her schoolteacher recognises her talents. But her desire to better herself is her undoing: she throws over her dull farmer boyfriend for a shifty, poetryquoting soldier who impregnates and abandons her to the wrath of her grandfather and sneers of the village.

John, meanwhile, on his visits to his beloved but failing mother, is groping in the opposite direction: from the complexities of his clever London life towards the kinder certainties of his mother’s stalwart cheerfulness. The emotional freight of loss and longing should have been a rich seam. In the novel’s closing pages, where something loosens Bragg’s tense grip on his narrative, there is an intimation of what his novel might have been if he had allowed himself to tell his story in terms of character or emotion. But he doesn’t.

This is a very personal book; it is clear how much it matters to its author, and, as a reader, you long for it to be good. It is deeply felt, and if that is the mark of good fiction, then Grace and Mary is an admirable novel.

By William Leith

The Dinner

Vanished Years

The Signal and the Noise

By Herman Koch

By Rupert Everett

By Nate Silver

Two couples arrange to meet in a swanky restaurant in Amsterdam. There’s Paul and Claire. They’ve got a teenage son. They’re not totally happy to be meeting the other couple, Serge and Babette.

Something is wrong. Serge is Paul’s brother. He’s a prominent politician. Serge and Babette also have a teenage son. The two boys are friends. And also the perpetrators of a horrible crime. They’ve done something really sick. The act has been caught on CCTV. Paul identifies his son on the news. The police don’t. Very intriguing; gripping too.

From the start of this book, in which Rupert Everett finds himself sitting on a bench in a Jamaican park, looking at a couple of ageing ladies, we can see that he is a first-rate writer - a writer who has somehow strayed into the world of celebrity and is reporting back to us. This is not the usual celebrity book. It’s like the work of a top memoirist, with misery to spare, who happens to be a celebrity. There’s a superb sequence on how American TV works, stuff about Everett’s schooldays, and a moving passage about the death of his father. He tells the stories of Natasha Richardson’s death, and her first wedding, with great skill and poise.

Nate Silver is a statistician - he looks for patterns and tries to use these patterns to predict the future. He’s most famous for “calling” the last US election - most people thought it would be closer than it was but Silver could see that Obama would win quite easily. He’s also good at understanding baseball and the way markets work. How does he do this?

Well, he says, we are saturated with information. This tends to lead us astray. The trick is to see that a small amount of information is important and a great deal is misleading. Silver tells you how to focus on what’s important. It’s not just a good statistical analysis. It’s a life lesson.

SUNDAY MAIL • May 19, 2013

25 Hard to stomach: beware of the consequences of eating chocolate cake

Horoscope

BY SALLY BROMPTON

ARIES Hopefully you’ve now sorted out your finances as once the Sun changes signs tomorrow you’ll want to travel and socialise, which requires money. If you’re still wasting cash on March 21 - April 20 things, and people, you no longer need there is just enough time to cut them out of your life.

TAURUS It will seem as if a great weight has been lifted from your shoulders this week - the weight of expectation. Recently all eyes have been on you and there have been times when you just wanted to spend time by yourself. Now you can.

April 21 - May 21 Enjoy it, you know it won’t last.

GEMINI

Big Brother

By Lionel Shriver

We need to talk about morbid obesity

F

ood matters to Lionel Shriver. Not just eating but the state of mind that dictates what and how much we eat.

In an interview last month she boasted that she herself rarely eats anything before 11pm and that she used to fast for up to three weeks at a time but stopped because it was damaging her health.

More poignantly, she wrote an article in 2009 for Standpoint magazine about her morbidly obese older brother.

At 5ft 7in and weighing 24 stone, Greg Shriver could barely walk and dragged a portable oxygen tank with him “like a faithful dog”. Chronic pain caused by two accidents left him unable to exercise but still, Shriver conceded, the fact remained that he ate too much.

The day she fi led her copy her brother had a sudden respiratory crisis and died a few days later in hospital.

Apparently a doctor had told her before he died that Greg was an ideal candidate for bariatric surgery but that he’d need someone to help him recover and it would take a long time.

Was Shriver up to that, she’d asked herself, prepared to leave her husband to care for her difficult brother? As it turned out, his death saved her from putting herself to the test but the dilemma has stayed with her and it’s what underpins her hefty new novel, Big Brother.

The publishers are flogging it as “Lionel Shriver tackles obesity, the big-

With a focus on overeating, Shriver produces an unlikeable but compelling read says KATIE LAW gest health epidemic facing Western society”, but it’s really more of a semifictionalised memoir, the made up bits being less important than what’s real.

Shriver is looking at obesity close-up and personal – and she doesn’t like it.

The storyline is simple enough.

Forty-year-old Pandora Halfdanarson lives in a town in Iowa with her husband Fletcher and two teenage stepchildren. She agrees to have her older brother Edison - a jazz musician in New York fallen on hard times - to stay.

A former caterer, Pandora now runs a successful business making creepy bespoke dolls and Fletcher is a furniture-maker. She’s a little podgy, he’s a fitness fanatic who cycles everywhere and eats frugally. They haven’t seen Edison for four years so when he arrives at the airport weighing 28 stone, Pandora barely recognises him.

His effect on the family is devastating, from breaking Fletcher’s furniture when he sits down to cooking up heart attack brunches, and his presence

soon begins to threaten the stability of his sister’s marriage. But in an improbable gesture of self sacrifice, Pandora offers to let him stay on if he agrees to go on a strict diet. She rents a nearby apartment and, leaving Fletcher to his own devices, moves in with Edison.

Together, brother and sister embark on a binge slimming odyssey, allowing Shriver to indulge in a sustained rant about appetite, addiction, eating and self-control. She describes with zealous insight the self-deceptions, little lies, body dysmorphia, smell of ketosis and the plain disappointment people with eating disorders experience when they try to eat normally.

While there are glimpses of empathy and attempts to understand Edison’s compulsive eating, what comes across most powerfully is Pandora’s disgust with food and Fletcher’s loathing of his wife’s “fat fuck lard arse bro”. A chocolate cake leaves “fecal smears of icing”, looking at diet plans makes Pandora feel “soiled”; even the Iowan landscape after a flood is “muted by a putrid, diarrhoeal silt”.

The climax, involving a Chocolate Cake “the size of a small suitcase”, is one of the most painfully brutal I’ve ever read, shocking but brilliant. The fact that it turns out to be a lie and that Pandora is an unreliable narrator doesn’t matter, because the book’s power lies not in its having one big theme but in its obsession over all the little ones. Unlikeable but compelling.

Slating of Inferno fails to deter Dan Brown fans Bestselling writer Dan Brown unleashed his latest page turner this week as eager fans made Inferno an instant chart-topper.

The writer, whose sales have already exceeded 200 million with his previous novels, has published his latest thriller starring Harvard professor Robert Langdon.

But despite a history of strong sales, his new adventure has once again come under fi re for the novelist’s literary abilities, with one reviewer calling it his worst book yet.

Brown’s new work sees Langdon in

May 19, 2013 • SUNDAY MAIL

a number of Italian cities, and other European locations, as he tries to stop the spread of a deadly virus.

It topped the Amazon book sales chart on the strength of its pre-orders, which were 24 per cent higher than those for his previous book, The Lost Symbol, published in 2009.

Amazon said interest in the new book has had a knock-on effect for Brown’s back catalogue, with sales for his books rising by 340 per cent year on year as anticipation has grown.

Although reviewers were in no doubt readers will lap the book up,

they were scathing about the writing.

Jake Kerridge in the Daily Telegraph said: “As a stylist, Brown gets better and better: where once he was abysmal, he is now just very poor.”

And he added: “In the end this is his worst book and for a sad, even noble reason - his ambition here wildly exceeds his ability.”

The Daily Mail called it “bilge, but one hell of a page turner”.

The Guardian said the book was “engineered with miraculous efficiency, a tasty cocktail of high culture and low thrills”.

The Sun moves into your sign tomorrow and a new solar year begins. You won’t be bursting with energy immediately but by the end of the week you will feel refreshed and renewed and ready to take on the world. But for best May 22 - June 21 results you must pare down your ambitions and focus on the two or three things that mean the most to you. The less you aim for the more successful you will eventually be.

CANCER You’ll find it easy to be emotional early this week but hard to show your feelings later. In both cases you must avoid extremes which will do your relationships no good at all. A tricky Uranus-Pluto link warns that if you lose your temper, June 22 - July 22 it will be you who loses out long term.

LEO One of the best times of the year for friendships is about to begin and to make the most of it you must be amicable to everyone you meet, socially and at work. This is also a good time to get more involved in political movements. Do your July 23 - Aug 23 bit to change the world for the better.

VIRGO

Aug 24 - Sep 23

You’ve accomplished a lot recently but don’t rest on your laurels as there’s still much to be done. The Sun’s transit of the midhaven angle of your chart this week will bring both challenge and opportunity so don’t hesitate to take advantage of what fate brings your way.

LIBRA

Sept 24 -Oct 23

You may have been feeling like doing something out of the ordinary, but with the Sun moving in your favour tomorrow you’ll start to feel better about yourself and you won’t want, or need, to do anything outrageous. Good times are coming sooner than you think.

SCORPIO What has seemed confusing will seem simple once the Sun changes signs tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean you need no longer make an effort, especially where relationships Oct 24 - Nov 22 are concerned. Extremes of passion could cause problems so think before you act.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov 23 - Dec 21

The Sun’s entry into Gemini will bring partnership problems to the fore and this time there can be no running away. Also this week, a battle over a money matter is likely. Don’t make an issue of it as this is one of those situations that could easily get out of hand.

CAPRICORN

Dec 22 - Jan 20

You’ve been moving so fast that it may seem as if life is a race but that simply isn’t true. As the Sun moves to focus on your work and wellbeing you’d be wise to slow down, even if it means cutting back on your activities. Speed isn’t everything, as you’ll soon find out.

AQUARIUS

Jan 21 - Feb 19

Recent worries will be swept away as the Sun enters the most dynamic area of your chart. No matter how hard things have been of late you’ll be suffused with a new lust for living. Deny yourself nothing. Indulge your every whim.

You’ve a lot of time to make up for.

PISCES Something will ruffle your feathers and make you retreat into yourself this week. Hopefully your sulk won’t last long as you have important things to do, especially at home Feb 20 - March 20 where loved ones are counting on you to make more of an effort. Or does that also fill you with gloom?

26 MARKETPLACE

Olfactory joy with Miyake’s Pleats Please

International awards for KEO The superior quality of KEO products have been confirmed internationally with new medals for the company’s wine making.

During the 13th Thessaloniki International Wine Competition, held in line with the requirements of the International Organisation of Vine and Wine (OIV), Comandaria St John KEO won the gold prize.

The jury of 28 distinguished connoisseurs awarded KEO this great honorary distinction.

Also, at the International Wine Competition in Lyon, Kthma Keo Cabernet Sauvignon - Lefkada 2010 was awarded with a silver medal.

These successes do not honour only the company but put up the name of Cyprus Wine making in the global map.

Jean Paul Gaultier launches strong new scent

Designer Issey Miyake is known for his conceptual purity and elegant simplicity.

His work exudes exuberance, dynamism, movement and colour - it is contemporary yet timeless.

A new adventure has been launched in the annals of Issey Miyake fragrance with the new Pleats Please, a scent that is an infusion of emotion and olfactory ode to joy.

The sparkling top note opens with the intriguing aroma of nashi, a hybrid fruit that oscillates between pear and apple, with the pear note predominating. ceful The middle note suggests a graceful sensuality, with fresh peony and sweet pea. Indole adds a fleshly, voluptuous touch. saThe base note prolongs the sensation of mildness, settling into thee rich woody notes of cedar while arpatchouli, taking on a vertical charn. acter, permeates the composition.

Sweet, sensuous vanilla infuses the trail with radiant warmth.

EEighteen years ago, Le Male irreversibly shook up the world of perfume by introducing an unprecedented masculine archetype: the sensual sailor with a soft heart.

Today, this object of desire is the leader of a new olfactory generation.

In keeping with the sharpness of his own view of our era and its cravings, Jean Paul Gaultier is now transforming the third millennium into ‘a freshness that makes men hot’.

This oxymoron signals the era of an “homme fatal” with self-assured sex appeal.

For this new sensua sensual alchemy, the potent ‘mint-mug ‘mint-mugwort-lavender’ o freshness is set cocktail of ablaze oon contact with the musks.

The iconic i metal can is dres dressed in magnetic ice bblue on which Le BBeau Male shows throu through.

Give the power to your skin Cellular Power Serum, the invisible, daily guard against ageing has been unveiled.

The sophisticated scientific approach of the new serum combines a revolutionary new complex aid and defence with Cellular Power Complex by strengthening the skin to regain its balance, vitality and beauty.

Engineered to meet the needs of women for a “daily dose of power”, the Cellular Power Serum joins forces with the Cellular Power Infusion and Cellular Power Charge Night.

The Cellular Power Serum really helps to strengthen the skin’s natural defenses against environmental threats while delivering energy to the cells, repairing the damage that already exists. Using a network of antioxidant defence, it works to combat oxidative stress.

SOCIETY 1

Alfamega supports the Red Cross Supermarket chain Alfamega has launched a campaign Buy, Take Part and Contribute to the Red Cross; an initiative to boost the charity, which will run until June 5.

The campaign will see Alfamega reduce the price of certain items, which when purchased will be translated into a contribution to the Red Cross.

The supermarket estimates the total value of contributions to the Red Cross will reach €100,000.

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1. Natasa Constantinidou, Georgos Theodotou, Fotini Papadopoulou, Andreas Papaellinas and Marina Demade 2. Andreas Papaellinas, Fotini Papadopoulou and Ledha Koursoumba 3. Yiota Papadopoulou, Melina Demetriou and Noni Drakou 4. Lillika Christodoulaki and Andreas Papaellinas 5. Natasa Constantinidou and Demetris Ioannides 6. Vanessa Kyprianou, Georgos Theodotou, Takis Neophytou, Ledha Koursoumba, Andreas Papaellinas, Fotini Papadopoulou, Lillika Christodoulaki, Niki Hadjikari and Marina Demade SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

PUZZLES 27 3 6

9 5 8 1

1 5 8 3 9 1

RATING MEDIUM

SAMURAI SUDOKU

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HOW TO PLAY:

KOUDUS ©

The rules for Samurai Sudoku are the same as usual: fill in the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1-9. There’s no maths involved, you solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic

No. 45

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Place a letter from A to I in each empty cell so that each row, each column and each 3X3 box contains all the letters A to I. lenloullis@hotmail.com

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Koudus No. 44 D E G C H B H

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Books of Koudus available from www.melrosebooks.com

Puzzle by websudoku.com

Whatzit?: Good riddance

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ANSWERS

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTIONS

Puzzle by websudoku.com

DOUBLE CROSSWORD no 2392 Cryptic clues

Across

Down

1 In handwriting, backs number one dedication (11) 9 Denial Sue removed was ineffectual (2,3) 10 N e e d l e w o m a n ’s fancy trinket (7) 11 Wandering from the crater, I stumbled (7) 13 Archdeacon has order for poison! (5) 14 Can be found in Constantinople (3) 15 I had followed 54 who were very angry (5) 16 Desert rodent (3) 17 It is stupid to give credit to a fool (5) 19 Competent to send message about parent (7) 21 Should be following doctor during the dry spell (7) 23 Cracked plate is a bit of a bloomer (5) 24 Occasionally but not for the third time (4,2,5)

2 Turn one into an uncharged particle (7) 3 Card-game fraud (5) 4 Flow of writing (3) 5 Edward included new hive that had been stolen (7) 6 Frequently decimal (5) 7 It could put an end to cricket (11) 8 Speedy offstage response (6,5) 12 Of a city going up and down (5) 15 Pasta dish will go down in the middle of the road! (7) 16 Automatic rubbish about old boy in charge (7) 18 It hurts to walk on a seed (5) 20 Pressmen handle the fruit (5) 22 Hill to the right (3)

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Quick clues

Down

1 In a tight spot (2,7,2) 9 Carved pole (5) 10 Irish county (7) 11 Dealing (anag.) (7) 13 Tarnish (5) 14 Spicy (3) 15 Anchored (5) 16 Preserve (3) 17 Also-ran (5) 19 Aquatic bird (7) 21 Sleeping (7) 23 S African antelope (5) 24 In police detention (5,6)

2 Loyalist (7) 3 Waif (5) 4 Irritate (3) 5 Greeted (7) 6 Middle Easterner (5) 7 Scottish region (11) 8 Reference (11) 12 Wither (3,2) 15 Domestic waste (7) 16 Male donkey (7) 18 Temptress (5) 20 Ship (5) 22 --- Maria (liqueur) (3)

Answers to the crossword will appear in Tuesday’s newspaper May 19, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

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Answers to Double Crossword 2391 CRYPTIC: Across – 1 Little bird; 7 In a spot; 8 Angel; 10 Sit-com; 12 Screen; 13 Pinch; 14 Horn; 16 Myth; 17 Quiet; 19 Bust-up; 20 Writer; 23 Scion; 24 Andorra; 25 High church. Down – 1 Leant; 2 Tiptop; 3 Late; 4 Branch; 5 Roguery; 6 Miss the bus; 9 Lunch break; 11 Mix-up; 12 Screw; 15 Rossini; 17 Quench; 18 Trader; 21 Torch; 22 Cash QUICK: Across – 1 Disclosure; 7 Apparel; 8 Ceded; 10 Fiddle; 12 Tomcat; 13 Layer; 14 Sock; 16 Flex; 17 Heath; 19 Eraser; 20 Hectic; 23 Pleat; 24 Attract; 25 Hurdy-gurdy. Down – 1 Duped; 2 Stroll; 3 Lull; 4 Sector; 5 Radical; 6 Half asleep; 9 Detoxicate; 11 Eager; 12 Teeth; 15 Chateau; 17 Heated; 18 Hector; 21 Toady; 22 Bang.

28 Photo: Katie Gianoulatos

A MINUTE WITH...

Rising star in today’s jazz world who is singing with the Barrie Rowe Big Band in four concerts this coming week

Alice Zawadzki Where do you live?

I live in the beautiful city of London with four friends - both the guys are wonderful musicians, one of the girls is the manager of a great bar/ music venue and the other is a super brainy lady doing a PhD in literature.

They’re good fun.

Best childhood memory?

I think it’s actually my earliest memory too. There was a hurricane in England and in the park several trees were blown down. The next morning was super sunny and there were puddles and rainbows everywhere.

One of the felled trees is a type called a ‘monkey puzzle’. It was lying on the ground and I walked into it but, being so small, got lost in the branches.

I thought the world had ended!

Most frequented restaurant and absolute favourite dish?

The ironically named Kim By the Sea in Manchester where I used to live and study is a quirky shabby-chic restaurant in the middle of a housing estate in Hulme and it has the friendliest atmosphere and delicious fresh food from many different cultures...

My favourite food is halloumi cheese.

shew nuts on the way to work - no time for anything fancy today unfortunately.

Would you class yourself as a day or night person?

A bit of both. There is something sacred about the very early morning.

Even places that seem plain or ugly look beautiful during sunrise. But my job means I don’t see it that often - I’m usually out late performing or at a gig.

Best book ever read?

Angela Carter’s Short Stories. Every paragraph of her prose is like a poem and combines bitchiness, beauty, tenderness, grit, the fantastical and the harshest reality, all in one swoop.

I love her. I also loved Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s 100 Years of Solitude for similar reasons.

amazed at how happy, content and welcome I felt! Future destinations include the Black Sea and the sea of Othosk - there’s so little about them The Story of which in British tourism literature Luke only fuels my curiosity.

What music are you listening ening to in the car at the moment? ent?

I don’t have a car - but ut a I’m listening to Anna Netrebko, Björk (right), Everything Everything, Sinatra and the Kronos string quartet. From ca performance perspective, I need to continu-ally learn new works, so there’s always that too.

What is always in your fridge?

Halloumi and tomatoes!!

Favourite film of all time?

It changes of course, as you discover more - my favourite today is Shutter Island for that brooding intense trickery and intricate plot.

Dream house: rural retreat or urban dwelling? Where would it be?

What did you have for breakfast?

Favourite holiday destination?

A massive bag of honey roasted ca-

I went to Izola in Slovenia and was

Impossible to choose - I d love both the rural and urban lifestyles. One

N I W

day I’d love to build my own house sustainable, eco-friendly and made of wood and glass. Or a massive penthouse somewhere awesome like New York, right in the middle of the buzz.

If y you could pick anyone at all (alive or dead) d to go out for the evening evenin with, who would it be?

Tod Today I’d choose my paternal grandmother - she had a c crazy life full of upheaval dur during the two world wars - I wou would have loved to know her bett better.

If the world is ending iin 24 hours what w would you do?

Tell all the special people in my life that I love them and try to tap into or create a feeling of peace for the last moments. These are heavy questions!

What is your greatest fear?

Wh Ru Running out of gin and ton tonic or being subjected to terrible music in your fa face.

Alice Zawadzki’s debut album as band leader will be launched next year and features Alex Roth, Kit Downes, Andreas Lang and Jon Scott.

Catch Alice’s performances at: Paralimni Municipal Amphitheatre - Saturday May 25 8pm, Y & P Latchi Hotel - Sunday May 26, 7pm, Pissouri Amphitheatre - Monday May 27, 7.30pm, Tala Amphitheatre - Sunday June 2, 7.30pm.

Online tickets: www.cyprustickets.com

A NIGHT FOR TWO WITH BREAKFAST AT

Answer: ........................... .................

COMPETITION

............................................................ ..........................................................

Name: ................................................ ............................................................

Poseidon Ave P.O.Box 60325 , CY 8102 Paphos Tel: +357 26965000 Fax: +357 26965100 E-mail: alexanderres@kanikahotels.com

Address: ............................................. ............................................................

Telephone: .........................................

Email: ................................................

Answers must reach us by May 27th .The winner will be announced on June 2nd.

Send replies to: PO Box 21144, Fax: 22 676385.

Email: competition@cyprus-mail.com (answers by email must be accompanied by full address and contact numbers) (Winners will be notified by telephone)

This long-established and award-winning hotel has just completed a major programme of renovations and upgrades. With its unique seafront location, its new enriched HB plus concept and its spectacular entertainment accompanied by upgraded accommodation and stunning new outdoor leisure facilities this hotel is determined to maintain its reputation as one of the best and most alluring hotels in Cyprus. Located on one of the few sandy beaches available in Pafos, which is also awarded with an ‘EU Blue Flag’; 50m from the nearest shops and other amenities; 150m from the resort centre and night life; Walking distance to Paphos old harbour. A new luxury infinity pool with rippling waterfalls and whirlpools; a swim-up bar (Infinity Pool Bar) with a large in-water seating area; New adults-only Serenity Pool; Infinity Pool Bar with all-new wooden deck overlooking the sea, and cushioned bamboo sofas and chairs; New wooden sunbathing decks; Sun bed allocation system to ensure your own sun bed and parasols during your stay; Health Club & Spa; Large fully equipped gym; Indoor pool with whirlpool overlooking Paphos old harbour; HB & FB plus with the choice of 4 restaurants including drinks with meals; Spectacular new outdoor entertainment venue hosted by Hotel-run professional entertainment & animation team; Large lobby & terrace with bamboo style seating and live piano music 4 times a week; Alexander’s main bar with daily entertainment and upgraded wine selection; New large Kids Club. Choice of 4 restaurants; Roxanne’s Restaurant with live show cooking and buffet style theme nights; Garibaldi serves a rich 4 course set menu of Italian cuisine (adults-only); Kiku serves à la carte Japanese cuisine; Limanaki Tavern serves traditional local Meze. Accommodation: All guest rooms have been completely rebuilt and upgraded with a series of new luxury facilities and amenities. These are described below: Deluxe Sea View Rooms; Deluxe Rooms Inland View, Garden Superior Cabanas, Royal Penthouse Suite.The magical outdoor scenery offers uninterrupted, breathtaking views of the Mediterranean Sea, the Pafos fishing harbour and the Medieval Castle. The elevated location of the Wedding Venue includes a scenic terrace for the actual wedding ceremony; a romantic bridge over a small man-made lake with waterfall leading to the private and exclusive terrace, which is perfect for hosting an intimate wedding celebration.

To win, answer the following question: Question:How many restuarants has the hotel?

And the winner is. . . Two weeks ago we offered a accomodation fot two at St Raphael the wiiner is Catherine Collins SUNDAY MAIL•May 19, 2013

T V FRIDAY 24/05 May 19, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00 11.30 12.00 15.30 16.00 18.00 18.15 18.45

Kaftes Piperies (rpt) Istories Tou Horkou (rpt) Apo Mera Se Mera Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi (rpt) Kaftes Piperies Live cookery show.

19.20

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30 17.00

18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10

22.00

20.00 21.00

News Patates 8 22.35

01.00

Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite Repeats

09.30 10.25 11.15

Biz/Emeis News In English News In Turkish Megastructures

NRG Zone Ce Jour Là, Tout A Changé

23.30

12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00 14.50

Top Gear Seventeenth season.

Episode 6: Jeremy Clarkson and James May set out for the seaside in electric cars the Nissan Leaf and the Peugeot iOn, stopping off in Lincoln along the way. Louis Walsh gets behind the wheel of the Reasonably Priced Car, Richard Hammond meets an extraordinary rally team and the new Lamborghini Aventador is taken out on the track.

FILM: The Firm

Series on Internet entrepreneurship.

07.50 08.40

A reenactment of the last day of King Henri IV of France before his murder by the fanatical catholic Ravaillac.

Historical drama, starring Arnaud Bedouët.

2009.

After the murder of two of his colleagues, a law graduate discovers the company that has head-hunted him is controlled by the Mafia. Thriller, starring Tom Cruise and Gene Hackman. 1993. With News at 23.30.

00.45

06.30 06.50 07.00

Discovery documetary series looking at the making of the greatest structures and machines ever created.

Paizoume Kypriaka

Local satirical show, using comedy sketches and embarrassing TV clips to skewer local politicians.

Kids’ TV Euromaxx Kati Psinetai (rpt) Amateur chefs each stage a dinner party to find who will be crowned the winning host.

Second season of local game show, asking questions having to do with Cypriot dialect.

20.00 21.15

ANTENNA

Repeats

15.45 16.40 17.30 17.40

MEGA

Proini Enimerosi Me Agapi Ellas To Megaleio Sou (rpt) Dis Madiam (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou (rpt) Karma (rpt) Panselinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia (rpt) Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) The Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Eleftheros Kai Oraios (rpt) Tin Patisa (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou

08.00 08.10

09.00 10.00 11.40 14.00 16.00 18.00 18.30 19.30 20.20 21.20 22.20 23.10

18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25 21.30

Aiyia Fuxia(rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Iroes Anamesa Mas

00.30 00.40

02.30 03.20 04.40

06.50 07.40

Greek competitive cooking reality show, open to amateur and home chefs.

08.50

Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson Yia Sena News Dr Cook Sto Para Pente News Klemmena Oneira Piso Sto Spiti FILM: Impact Point

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles The series picks up two years after the events of Terminator 2: Judgment Day with John and Sarah Connor hiding from the government. Sarah decides they need a change of scenery and in doing so they expose themselves to an FBI Agent and Skynet’s army of Terminators.

New show presented

by Sakis Rouvas.

22.20 00.00 00.05 00.30 01.40

Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt)

A pro beach volleyball star, faces challenges everyday, fierce competitors, the press, but nothing can prepare her for the biggest challenge yet. Thriller, starring Brian Austin Green. 2008.

With News at 18.00.

Laikes Paraskeves News Sports News Ola Bahalo Fetos To Kleidi Tou Paradeisou (rpt) To Paihnidi Tis Signomis (rpt) News Deal (rpt)

01.30 03.30

SIGMA

09.40 10.30

Anna Paola (rpt) Spiti Apo Tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt)

06.45 07.20

A Greek chef tries to turn around Greek restaurants in crisis.

09.05

Vasiliki (rpt) Aspra Balonia (rpt) Local drama series.

11..10

Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt)

12.00 15.30 18.00 18.05

Mesimeri Kai Kati Eleni News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama Anna Paola

Local drama series.

18.40

PLUS TV

08.30

10.00 10.45 11.40 12.30 13.00 15.30 17.15 17.50

19.40 20.20 21.20 22.00

01.10 01.15 02.00 02.45 04.10

Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites News Oikogeneiakes Istories Stin Igeia Mas

19.40

Variety show, with wellknown guests pretending to have a good time for the benefit of You At Home.

22.00

News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

Kid’s TV Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of I Kouzina Me Ti Dina (rpt) Mila (rpt) Ayio Eihame (rpt) Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kids’ TV Ayio Eihame

08.15

Local comedy series.

19.15 19.50 20.05

Fotis Maria Live Entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, health, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

Latin American telenovela.

CAPITAL 10.00 11.00 11.30 12.00 12.30 13.25 14.45 15.30 16.05 16.55 17.30

With News at 18.30.

21.00

Exelixeis Stin Showbiz FILM: Proof A woman withdraws from the world after the death of her academic father, afraid that she will follow his descent into dementia. Drama, starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Anthony Hopkins. 2007.

00.00 00.50 01.20

LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

Yia Sena (rpt) Proino Mou (rpt)

News Sports Time O Anthropos Tis Thalassas FILM: Only You A woman is told by a clairvoyant that she will marry a man with a certain name - and is shocked to receive a phone call from the very man years later. Comedy, starring Marisa Tomei. 1994.

Mila Discussions about various issues based on a woman’s life.

21.15

Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) Ston Asterismos Tis Imeras Kouzina Me Apopsi Kalitera En Ginetai Akti Oneiron Milagros Kids’ TV Best Off Live@4 Kalitera En Ginetai Top Models Akti Oneiron Sto Mati Tou Kiklona

23.00

FILM: Confidence A conman who foolishly swindles a crime lord’s accountant is forced to pull an elaborate fraud to settle his debt. Thriller, starring Edward Burns. 2003.

00.40

FILM: Mercenary For Justice A soldier for hire is forced by rogue CIA agents to break into a notorious African prison and free an arms dealer’s son.

Action thriller, starring Steven Seagal. 2006.

Tower Heist (Novacinema1, 23.55)

01:15 Love Life 02:05 The Weakest Link 02:50 EastEnders 03:20 Doctors 03:50 The World of Stonehenge 04:40 Watson & Oliver 05:10 Getting On 05:45 My Family 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 10:00 Keeping Up Appearances 10:30 The Weakest Link 11:15 EastEnders 11:45 Doctors 12:15 The World of Stonehenge 13:05 Hustle 13:55 My Family 14:25 Michael Palin’s New Europe 15:15 Keeping Up Appearances 15:45 EastEnders 16:15 Doctors 16:45 The Weakest Link 17:30 The World of Stonehenge 18:25 Doctor Who 19:10 Walk on the Wild Side 19:40 Doctors 20:10 Casualty 21:00 My Family 21:30 2 Point 4 Children 22:00 The World of Stonehenge 22:50 Lead Balloon 23:20 Watson & Oliver 23:50 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 00:35 Bedlam

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Inside West Coast Customs 08:40 Chasing Classic Cars 09:30 Trashopo-

lis 10:15 Extreme Engineering 11:05 Deadliest Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Alps From Above 13:05 Prehistoric 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Trashopolis 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman 17:50 Meteorite Men 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:05 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 How The Universe Works 21:10 Trashopolis 22:00 Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman 22:50 Meteorite Men 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 How The Universe Works 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman 02:50 Meteorite Men 03:40 Cafe Racer 04:30 Trashopolis 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 How The Universe Works

09:30 Football: Uefa Women’s Champions League 10:30 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 11:30 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 11:45 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 15:00 Cycling: Belgium 16:30 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 16:45 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 18:30 Football: Uefa Women’s Champions League 20:00 Strongest

Man: Champions League Germany 21:00 Boxing: Bigger’s Better Heavy Weight Contest 00:00 Equestrian: Horse Racing Time 00:15 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 01:15 Cycling: Belgium 02:15 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 18 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 11:45 The Simpsons 18 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 White Collar 15:00 Breakout Kings 15:45 The Simpsons 18 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 19:50 The Simpsons 18 20:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 White Collar 23:10 Criminal Minds 00:00 Da Vinci’s Demons 01:00 Wilfred 01:25 The Cleveland Show 01:50 The League 2 02:15 Criminal Minds 03:05 Breakout Kings 03:50 The Simpsons 04:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 04:40 Dollhouse 2

07:30 Arrangement, The 09:45 Invisible Sign, An 11:30 I Am Slave 13:00 Nowhere Boy 15:00 Last Samurai, The 17:30 Action Zone 18:00 Riding Tornado 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Beat The World 23:00 W.E. 01:00 Hustler Tv 02:25 Love Wrecked 03:50 Towering Inferno, The 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 17:00 2012 World’s Strongest Man 17:30 Planet Speed 18:00 Barclays Premier League World 18:30 Nba Action 19:00 La Liga World 19:30 Liga Bbva 2012-13 21:30 A’ Division Cyprus Soccer Championship 2012-13 23:30 Spirit Of Wimbledon 00:00 Ironman 01:00 Barclays Premier League Review 02:00 La Liga Review 2012-13 03:00 Volvo Ocean Race 03:30 Nba 2012-13 06:00 Volvo Ocean Race

07:15 PriVIleged 08:00 Friends 08:30 Alcatraz 09:20 Luck 10:30 One Tree Hill 11:15 C.S.I. New York 13:00 Closer, The V 13:45 PriVIleged 14:30 Alcatraz 15:15 Luck 16:25 2 Broke Girls 16:50 Harry’s Law Ii 17:35 Southland 18:20 C.S.I. Miami 19:05 Closer

19:05 Footloose 21:00 Friends With Benefits 22:55 From Prada To Nada 00:45 Margaret 03:15 What’s Your Number?

19:50 Pan Am 20:35 Friends 21:00 Mentalist Iv, The 22:30 Strike Back I 23:20 Pushing Daisies 00:05 Elder Son, The 01:35 Runaways, The 03:50 2 Broke Girls 04:15 Harry’s Law Ii 05:00 Southland 05:45 C.S.I. Miami 06:30 Closer

07:15 Paranormal Activity 09:00 Primal Fear 11:15 Remember Me 13:30 Ghost Writer 15:45 Homeless: The Motel Kids Of Orange County 17:00 Oh, God! You Devil 18:45 Flypaper 20:15 Dennis The Menace 22:00 Sleepless In Seattle 00:05 Daring! Tv 03:50 Lucky One 05:40 L’ Etoile Du Soldat

05:50 Once Fallen 07:25 Penelope 09:10 $5 A Day 10:50 Mad On Novacinema 11:20 Fast Five 13:30 Deadly Hope 15:00 The

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 17:00 The New Protocol 18:40 Hollywood Buzz 21:00 Ncis 22:00 Amador 23:55 Tower Heist 01:45 Being Flynn 03:30 Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance

05:45 Straight Story 07:20 Cine News 08:05 Big Miracle 09:55 Born Yesterday 11:40 The Iron Lady 13:25 Runaway Jury 15:35 Jane Eyre 17:40 Action Zone 18:20 Transporter 2 19:55 The Devil’s Own 1 21:50 Films And Stars At The Festival Cannes 2013 22:00 Drive 23:50 2 The Raven 01:40 Kill Bill: Vol.1 K15 03:30 Demeni Kokkini Klosti

19:25 One For The Money 21:00 Super 8 Bloody Fridays 23:00 Apollo 18 00:25 Cine News 01:30 Anna, Apprentie Soubrette X 03:05 House Of The Rising Sun 04:35 Hide And Seek

16:30 European Tour BMW PGA Championship LIVE 20:00 PRE GAME (E) 20:20 CHAMPIONSHIP 2012-13: APOLLON VS AEL (E) 22:20 POST GAME (E) 22:45 STIGMIOTIPA KYPRIAKOU PODOSFEROU 23:00 MLB: Minnesota Twins At Detroit Tigers

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 Quo Vadis 08:45 They Drive

by Night 10:20 Honeymoon Machine 11:50 Arena 13:10 Roberta 15:00 Ivanhoe 16:45 Raintree County 19:25 Forbidden Planet 21:00 Prodigal 22:50 Eye of the Devil 00:20 Prodigal 02:10 Eye of the Devil 03:45 Scarecrow

By Preston Wilder

Drive (Novacinema2, 22.00) Style is everything in this moody crime movie, and you should probably watch something else if you’re not even a little bit stirred during the first 10 minutes, when a car chase gives way to a discreet fadeto-black then the pounding thrum of ‘Nightcall’ by Kavinsky coming up over the opening credits (I got chills up and down my spine when I watched it in the cinema). Ryan Gosling is the man in the car chase, our hero, a laconic getaway driver who sticks his neck out for nobody but is nonetheless a good guy, a “real human being” like it says in the song; he fancies nextdoor neighbour Carey Mulligan and vice versa, but then Carey’s husband - fresh out of jail - gets involved

Drive

with some shady characters, including avuncular gangster Albert Brooks, and Ryan swings into action.

A hard-boiled thriller (the violence is shocking), a slow-burning series of pregnant moments - but also a battle of Blue vs. Red, the artful visuals tinged with those colours as Ryan alternates between Good and Evil. You see what I mean about style. Made in 2011.

Sleepless in Seattle (LTV3, 22.00) Seattle was the coolest place on Earth in the early 90s (remember grunge? remember Frasier?), and a fitting backdrop for this much-loved romantic blockbuster, the first pairing of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Tom is Sleepless, a widower still grieving over his late wife.

Meg is Helpless, falling in love with Tom’s voice when he goes on the air on Christmas Eve to talk about his pain with a radio shrink - except that she’s 3000 miles away, and engaged to a dull fiancé. Nine-yearold Ross Malinger is Reckless, engineering a meeting between his dad (that’s Tom) and winsome Meg in a bold attempt to find himself a new mother. The film itself is Harmless, mushy, old-fashioned and generally fun, borrowing its finale atop the Empire State Building from 50s tearjerker An Affair to Remember. Tom is Mr. Nice Guy, Meg is a doll though you’ll know what she meant when she joked (years later) “I have been known to cause diabetes”. Also with Bill Pullman (as the fiancé) and Seattle (as itself); made in 1993.

SundayMail Battleship Men glower, snarl and flex muscles in macho battle with aliens

Sunshine Family saga from Empire to Holocaust starring Ralph Fiennes

Sunday, NovaCinema1, 10pm

Tuesday, Capitol, 9pm

M AY 19 2 5

Moonrise Kingdom Magical masterpiece telling the story of two kids who run away Monday, NovaCinema1, 10pm

Complete guide to what’s on the small screen this week, including our selections and satellite choices

T V MONDAY 20/05 May 19, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00

Kaftes Piperies (rpt) Cookery show.

11.30

Istories Tou Horkou (rpt)

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30 17.00

18.45 19.20

Apo Mera Se Mera Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi (rpt) Kaftes Piperies Paizoume Kypriaka

18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10

News Vimata Stin Ammo Local period drama, based on true events.

22.00

20.00 21.00

22.00

Moiraia Fengaria

Kodikos Evropi Local investigative show.

23.30 23.45

News Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite Series on Internet entrepreneurship.

00.00

Repeats

Biz/Emeis News In English News In Turkish Megastructures

22.45

07.50 08.40 09.30 10.25 11.15

NRG Zone Survivors Second season of modern reimagining of the Seventies postapocalyptic drama returns, picking up moments after the climax of the first series.

‘Episode: 1’. Abby is held captive at the mysterious lab, where scientists runs tests on her immune system in search of a vaccine for the virus.

Local drama series inspired by Maro Kranidioti’s book ‘Otan i Moira Apofasizei’.

22.30

06.30 06.50 07.00

Discovery documentary series looking at the making of the greatest structures and machines ever created.

Local game show, asking questions having to do with the Cypriot dialect.

20.00 21.15

Kids’ TV Euromaxx Kati Psinetai (rpt) Greek version of show where amateur chefs each stage a dinner party.

Local comedy series, which happens to be the longest-running show on TV.

12.00 15.30 16.00 18.00 18.15

ANTENNA

Brothers & Sisters (rpt)

12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00 14.50 15.45 16.40 17.30 17.40 18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25

Fourth season. ‘On the Road Again’. The Walkers come to terms with the financial loss of Ojai Foods, but there is a glimmer of hope with William’s covert investments. Justin and Rebecca consider their future, Kitty and Robert go on the campaign trail, and Saul faces a nerve-racking test.

Last in series.

21.30 22.20

Repeats

02.30

Proini Enimerosi Me Agapi Ellas To Magaleio Sou (rpt) Vodka Portokali (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou (rpt) Karma (rpt) Pansellinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia (rpt) Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri (rpt) Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) Tha Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Vals Me 12 Theous (rpt) Oneiropagida (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou (rpt)

06.00 07.00 08.00 08.10 09.00

With News at 18.00.

22.20

Aiyia Fuxia (rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Vals Me 12 Theous Grey’s Anatomy Sixth season of US medical drama. ‘Hook, Line and Sinner’.

23.10

MEGA

Replay

10.00

Retiré News Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt) Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Lifestyle programme, hosted by real-life couple Giorgos Liagas and Faye Skorda.

11.40 14.00

Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson Local talk-show, with viewers phoning in to report instances of abuse or corruption.

16.00

Yia Sena

18.00 18.30 19.30 20.20 21.20

News Greek Series TBA Sto Para Pente News Klemmena Oneira

SIGMA 06.50 07.40 08.50 09.40 10.30 11.10

Local drama series.

12.00 15.20 18.00 18.05 18.45

Me Ta Pantelonia Kato

19.40 20.20 21.15 22.20

The Vampire Diaries First season of fantasy horror series.

00.00 00.20 01.40 04.30

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Yia Sena (rpt) Proino Mou (rpt)

Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) News Aspra Balonia Fones New local show, giving a voice to young people.

Greek comedy series.

23.10

Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama? (rpt) Anna Paola Latin American telenovela, known as ‘La que no podia amar’ in the original.

Local talk-show.

Greek drama series.

Anna Paola (rpt) Spiti ap’tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt) Vasiliki (rpt) Mila Mou (rpt) Epta Ouranoi Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt)

23.10 00.15 00.20 01.00 01.45 04.10

PLUS TV 07.20 08.30 09.00 10.00 10.45 11.40 12.30 13.00 15.30

Martha Speaks, Casper the Friendly Ghost, King, etc.

17.15 17.50 19.40 21.15 22.00

22.45

23.30

Live parady show.

01.40

00.15 01.10 02.00

To Kleidi tou Paradeisou (rpt) Late Programmes

06.45 08.15

15.25 16.05 17.00 17.30

Kids’ TV Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) Ston Asterismo Tis Imeras Kouzina Me Apopsi Kallitera En Ginetai (rpt) Akti Oneiron (rpt) Milagros Kids’ TV Best Off Live@ 4 (rpt) Kallitera En Ginetai Top Models Akti Oneiron Sto Mati tou Kyklona

19.15 19.50 20.05 21.00

News Sports Time Capital Sports FILM: The Contract

10.00 11.00 11.30 12.05 12.30 13.20 14.15

With News at 18.10.

A retired cop and his son stumble across a fugitive in the woods and try to take him back to prison, but his henchmen intervene.

Thriller, starring John Cusack and Morgan Freeman. 2006.

Supernatural Sixth season of sci-fi series. ‘Mommy Dearest’. Dean, Sam, Castiel and Bobby find Eve in a small town where the citizens have been converted to demons; Eve decides to torture Sam and Dean by bringing their mother back as a demon.

Dekati Entoli (rpt) News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

News Radio Arvila

Ayio Eihame Fotis - Maria Live Mila Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Human Target First season.

‘Sanctuary’. Chance is hired to find and protect a reformed thief who is believed to be hiding out in a remote monastery.

Greek sports show.

00.25 00.30

Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of I Kouzina Me Ti Dina Mila (rpt) Ayio Eihame (rpt) Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kids’ TV

CAPITAL

Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

22.45

FILM: Winter Kills Drama, starring Jeff Bridges. 1979. See Pick Of The Day.

00.45

FILM: The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone A recently widowed, once-famous actress moves to Rome to begin a new life and falls in love with an Italian gigolo with expensive tastes. Drama, with Anne Bancroft and Helen Mirren. 2003.

The Fighter (LTV3, 16.00)

01:15 The Green Green Grass 01:45 Lark Rise To Candleford 02:40 Watson & Oliver 03:10 The Weakest Link 03:55 After You’ve Gone 04:25 The Green Green Grass 04:50 Lark Rise To Candleford 05:45 Watson & Oliver 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 10:00 Lead Balloon 10:30 The Weakest Link 11:15 Walk on the Wild Side 11:45 Doctors 12:15 Casualty 13:05 The World of Stonehenge 13:55 My Family 14:25 Sahara With Michael Palin 15:15 Lead Balloon 15:40 Walk on the Wild Side 16:10 Doctors 16:40 Casualty 17:30 Tribal Wives 18:20 The World of Stonehenge 19:10 EastEnders 19:40 Doctors 20:15 The Weakest Link 21:00 My Family 21:30 The Green Green Grass 22:00 Waking The Dead 22:50 Ideal 23:20 Silent Witness 00:10 Lark Rise To Candleford

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Pyros 08:40 Rattlesnake Republic 09:30 Mega Beasts 10:15 Extreme Engineering 11:05 Deadli-

est Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Sons Of Guns 13:05 Alps From Above 13:50 Chasing Classic Cars 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Mega Beasts 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Crisis Control 17:50 World’s Top 5 18:40 Chasing Classic Cars 19:05 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 Extreme Engineering 21:10 Trashopolis 22:00 Crisis Control 22:50 World’s Top 5 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 Extreme Engineering 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Crisis Control 02:50 World’s Top 5 03:40 Chasing Classic Cars 04:05 Cafe Racer 04:30 Trashopolis 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 Extreme Engineering

09:30 Motorsports: Motorsports Weekend Magazine 09:45 Fia World Touring Car Championship: Round In Austria 10:30 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 11:30 Cycling: Tour Of California 12:30 Athletics: Greene Light 12:45 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 13:00 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 20:15 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 20:30 Football: Eurogoals 21:15 All Sports: Watts 21:30 Pro Wrestling: This Week On World Wrestling Entertainment 22:00 Pro Wrestling: Vintage Col-

lection 23:00 Equestrian: Horse Racing Time 23:15 All Sports: Watts 23:30 Table Tennis: World Championship 01:00 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 02:00 All Sports: Watts 02:15 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 18 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 11:45 The Simpsons 18 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 Criminal Minds 8 15:00 Breakout Kings 15:45 The Simpsons 18 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 19:50 The Simpsons 18 20:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 Criminal Minds 8 22:20 Elementary 23:10 Criminal Minds 00:00 Da Vinci’s Demons 01:00 Criminal Minds 8 01:50 The League 2 02:15 Criminal Minds 03:05 Breakout Kings 03:50 The Simpsons 18 04:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 04:40 Lost

20:00 W.E. 22:00 Roommate 23:35 Action Zone 00:05 Daring!

Tv 3:35 Action Zone 04:05 Mirror Has Two Faces 06:30 Fast Freddie Widow & Me

07:30 Lovely Bones, The 10:00 Rabbit Hole 12:00 King Solomon’s Mines 14:00 Triage 16:00 Sammy’s Adventures: The Secret Passage 17:45 Bodyguard, The 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 La Delicatesse (Delicacy) 23:00 Hole, The (2009) 00:35 Hustler Tv 03:15 Pina 05:00 Seven Minutes In Heaven 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 17:00 Barclays Premier League 2012-13 19:00 Nba 2012-13 21:00 Barclays Premier League Review 22:00 Planet Speed 22:30 2012 World’s Strongest Man 23:00 Barclays Premier League 2012-13 01:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 03:00 Barclays Premier League Review 04:00 Grand American Series 2012 05:00 Barclays Premier League 2012-13

07:15 Friends 07:45 Necessary Roughness 09:30 Big Bang Theory 10:00 Harry’s Law Ii 10:50 Southland 11:35 C.S.I. Miami 12:30 Pan Am 13:15 Gossip Girl 14:00 Necessary Roughness 15:30 Big Bang Theory 16:00 Two And A Half Men 16:30 Harry’s Law Ii 17:20 Ncis: Los Angeles 19:00 Closer, The V 19:45 One Tree Hill 20:30 Two And A Half Men 21:00 C.S.I. New York 22:30 Strike Back I 23:20 Pushing Daisies 00:05 City Of Angels 02:00 Flypaper 03:45 Two And A Half Men 04:10 Harry’s Law Ii 05:00 Ncis: Los Angeles 06:30 Closer, The V

08:00 Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood 10:00 Arthur (2011) 12:00 Hearts In Atlantis 14:00 Alaska 16:00 The Fighter 18:00 Penthouse 19:30 Action Zone

05:10 Cine News 06:10 L 07:40 Ever After: A Cinderella Story 09:40 Flicka 3: Best Friends 11:15 Hollywood Buzz 11:50 Chicken With Plums 13:25 Burden Of Evil 15:00 Micki & Maude 17:00 Cine News 17:15 A Dangerous Method 19:00 Films And Stars 19:35 The Avengers 22:00 Moonrise Kingdom 23:40 The Following 00:30 I Love You Too 02:20 That’s My Boy 04:15 A Gang Story

05:50 The Jackal 07:55 Two For The Road 11:35 Let’s Make Love 13:40 Brake 15:15 Good Morning Vietnam 17:20 The Hunger Games 19:45 Rounders 21:50 Films And Stars At The Festival Cannes 2013 22:00 From Here To Eternity 00:05 The Bone Collector 04:15 A Happy Event

19:15 Heaven 21:00 Inspector Gadget 22:30 Ncis 23:20 Fovou Tous Ellines 01:00 Viens Baisser Ma Femme

18:50 Music Of The Heart 21:00 There Will Be Blood 23:40 Think Like A Man 01:45 Against All Odds

14:30 Big Ten Outdoor Track & Field Big Ten Championships 17:30 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative 18:00 PRE GAME(E) 18:20 CHAMPIONSHIP 2012-13: APOLLON VS AEL (E) 20:20 POST GAME (E) 20:45 MLB: Tampa Bay Rays At Toronto Blue Jays LIVE

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 Treasure of the Sierra Madre 08:05 Human Comedy 10:00 Wonderful World Of The Brothers Grimm 12:10 Postman’s Knock 13:35 Captain Sindbad 15:00 East Of Eden 16:50 Come Fly With Me 18:35 Brothers Karamazov 21:00 Fixer 23:25 Something Of Value 01:15 Fixer 03:40 Julius Caesar

By Preston Wilder

Moonrise Kingdom (Novacinema1, 22.00) Suzy and Sam are in love. Theirs is a star-crossed love, so Suzy runs away from home and Sam runs away from the Boy Scouts (Suzy and Sam are 12 years old) and they have adventures on a rugged, photogenic island off the coast of New England. If that sounds twee and overly ‘quirky’ ... well, you have a point, but this film is so constantly inventive it becomes magical, full of dazzling details and small visual curlicues (including a cat that seems to stretch at precisely the right moment) - and there’s also something else behind the pastry-chef surface, a certain gravitas and melancholy, even moments of unexpected violence.

Moonrise Kingdom

When director Wes Anderson uses ‘Old Abram Brown’

by Benjamin Britten - a choral piece of ineffable sadness - to accompany a daring escape on canoes at first light, then segues to a bittersweet conjugal interlude between husband-and-wife lawyers Bill Murray and Frances McDormand, charges of quirkiness fall away and you know that you’re watching a masterpiece. Also with Bruce Willis (superb as a weary police chief) and Edward Norton. Made in 2012.

Winter Kills (Capital, 22.45) A good night for the offbeat and unusual, though you have to stay up pretty late for this mordant conspiracy thriller. Jeff Bridges is the scion of a filthy-rich

American dynasty, and the brother of a murdered US president (similarities to the Kennedys are obvious, and led to the film being ‘buried’ on first release); he finds a dying man who claims the assassination was a cover-up, and decides to investigate - but the truth is complex, so much so that the film starts to topple (deliberately) into black comedy. “They will pile falsehood on top of falsehood till you can’t tell a lie from the truth, and you won’t even want to!” says a grizzled cynic played by Richard Boone (one of many old Hollywood stalwarts in the starry cast); “That’s how the powerful keep their power - don’t you read the papers?”. Very late-70s, teeming with post-Watergate paranoia, twisted and darkly funny. Made in 1979.

T V SATURDAY 25/05 SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

CYBC 1 08.00

Moiraia Fengaria (rpt)

CYBC 2 08.00

Paizoume Kypriaka Local game show, asking questions having to do with Cypriot dialect.

13.00 14.00 14.30

16.30

News Patates Antinahtes (rpt)

18.30

18.50 19.00 19.10 21.00

Ego Ki Esi Local comedy series.

19.30

Ama Thelei To Grafton

22.45

20.00 21.30

News Savvato Ki Apovrado Variety show, with wellknown guests pretending to have a good time for the benefit of You At Home.

23.30 23.45 00.45 02.45

News Tete-A-Tete (rpt) Savvato Ki Apovrado (rpt) More Repeats

23.30 23.45

07.20 07.50 08.40

Futuris Latest news about the leading scientific and technological research projects in Europe.

11.20 12.10

News In English New In Turkish NRG Zone Weekend X-Factor USA

13.50 16.50 17.40

News in English & Turkish (rpt) Euronews

Proini Enimerosi Oi Detective (rpt) To Pio Glyko Mou Psema (rpt) Men Kai Den (rpt) Deixe Mou Ton Filo Sou (rpt) Ela N’ Agapithoume (rpt) Max adventures Santa Yiolanta (rpt) Poso Glyka Me Skotoneis (rpt) Ta Mahairomata (rpt) Laikes Paraskeves (rpt) Your Face Sounds Familiar (rpt) To Kafe Tis Haras (rpt) Niose Me (rpt)

MEGA 06.00 07.00 09.40 09.50 10.20 11.00

19.30 20.20 21.30 23.20

Vals Me 12 Theous News Exairetika Afieromeno (rpt) Fallen Fantasy mini-series.

18-year-old Aaron Corbett struggles to come to terms with his newly discovered identity - that he’s halfangel.

00.45 00.50 01.00 01.40 02.40 03.50 04.40

News Sports News Vradi Me Ton Petro Kotsopoulo Lefkos Oikos (rpt) Oi Dromoi Tis Polis (rpt) News To Soi Mou Mesa (rpt)

Retire (rpt) Proino Mou (rpt) Max Adventures Mia Stigmi Dio Zoes Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Chuck A computer geek finds himself in charge of the government’s most sensitive data.

12.00 13.00 15.00

Oi Vasiliades (rpt) Pername Kala (rpt) Mousiko Kouti Live (rpt) Greek music gameshow.

17.00

SIGMA 07.35 08.30

10.00

Me Ta Pantelonia Kato (rpt)

20.20 21.30 00.30

News Pername Kala (rpt) Kapse To Senario

Greek comedy series.

Greek edition of the improvised comedy show, in which guests create spontaneous routines and sketches based on suggestions from the studio audience.

01.40 02.20 04.20 05.00 05.20 05.20

Epafi (rpt) Eheis Meson (rpt) Mia Stigmi Dio Zoes (rpt) Patir, Yios Kai Pnevma (rpt) Oi Afthairetoi Ah Eleni

Mes Stin Kala Hara Weekend variety show, informative and entertaining.

14.00 15.40 17.00

Aspra Balonia (rpt) The Cooking (rpt) Annita SoS With News at 18.00.

19.00

Pame Paketo (rpt) Popular talk-show that deals with human interest stories such as reuniting people, fulfilling dreams and connecting individuals who want to correct past mistakes in their lives.

Epta Thanasimes Petheres (rpt)

19.30

Vourate Geitonoi (rpt) Barbie And The Three Musketeers Feature-length animated adventure, dubbed in Greek.

Long-running Greek comedy series about annoying mother-inlaws. With News at 18.00.

With News at 18.00.

Lost Sixfth season. ‘Happily Ever After’. Charles Widmore brings Desmond back to the island so that he can conduct a dangerous electromagnetic experiment, which sends him back to the alternate reality in Los Angeles, a reality where he has never met Penny.

Repeat of part 1 of local sketch.

06.00 06.20 06.50

09.30 09.40 10.30

American version of the talent contest, in which solo singers and groups compete to win a recording contract by impressing judges Simon Cowell, Nicole Scherzinger, Paula Abdul and LA Reid.

Local satirical show, using comedy sketches and embarrassing TV clips to skewer local politicians.

18.45

Album show FILM: Love Happy A gumshoe and a Russian adventuress chase a trio of hapless actors who have found a cache of stolen diamonds. Marx Brothers comedy. 1949.

Vimmata Stin Ammo (rpt) Two episodes of local period drama, based on true events.

18.00 18.15

16.10 17.00

Edoxe Ti Vouli Kai To Dimo News Me Kali Parea Vivian Kanari hosts new show featuring a mix of news, information and live music.

Kids’ TV Shown till 12.30, then repeated till midafternoon.

Local drama series.

10.30

ANTENNA

20.15 21.00

00.45

07.50 11.35 12.05 13.00 13.40 14.20 16.00 17.20 18.20 19.20 21.15 22.00 23.00

News Istories Tou Astinomou Beka (rpt) Mes Stin Kali Hara (rpt)

17.30 19.00 00.20 01.10 01.40

CAPITAL

Kids’ TV Exelixeis Sti Showbiz LTV Sports News Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Diet Please (rpt) Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Mila (rpt) Stin Kouzina Me Tin Dina (rpt) Greek FILM: Kamikazi Tsantakias

10.00 10.30

Comedy. 1982.

18.00 18.55 19.10 19.55 20.05

Exelixeis Sti Showbiz En Iordani Cold Case (rpt) Third season. ‘The River’. A new witness comes forward claiming to have information about the 1984 shooting, prompting Lilly to reopen the case.

She is soon led into the world of gambling when it becomes apparent the deceased had a big secret.

News UEFA Champions League Live coverage of the all German Final betweem Borussia Dortmund and Bayern Munich at Wembley Stadium in London, England. See Pick Of The Day.

00.25 00.30

PLUS TV

Mila (rpt) Exelixeis Sti Showbiz LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

12.00 13.10 13.45 15.20 16.15 16.10

Kouzina Me Apopsi Greek FILM: I Diki Enos Athoou Telemarketing Mila Mou Prasina Greek FILM: O Teleftaios Aihmalotos Call Of The Wild News FILM: Aquamarine A mermaid becomes stranded at a beach resort and falls in love with a lifeguard.

Fantasy comedy, starring Emma Roberts.

21.00

Remington Steele News Pacific Blue News O Anthropos Tis Thalassas FILM: The Winslow Boy A father fights for family honour and justice when his son is expelled from the Royal Naval Academy for stealing. Edwardian period drama, with Nigel Hawthorne.

1999.

23.00

FILM: Entrusted A boy memorizes the access codes of Swiss bank accounts that will be used to help French Jews escape the Nazis’ grip. Drama, starring Klaus Maria Brandauer 2003.

01.20

FILM:Judicial Indiscretion Thriller, starring Anne Archer. 2007.

Colombiana (Novacinema2, 00.05)

01:20 Doctor Who 02:05 The Weakest Link 02:50 Walk on the Wild Side 03:20 Doctors 03:45 Casualty 04:35 The World of Stonehenge 05:30 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 The Weakest Link 10:15 My Family 10:45 Walk on the Wild Side 11:15 Doctor Who 12:00 Tribal Wives 12:50 2 Point 4 Children 13:20 My Family 13:50 After You’ve Gone 14:20 Walk on the Wild Side 14:50 Casualty 15:40 EastEnders 17:40 Walk on the Wild Side 18:10 My Family 18:40 Tribal Wives 19:30 The Weakest Link 20:15 Doctor Who 21:00 Being Erica 21:45 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 22:30 Bedlam 23:15 Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle 23:45 Jam And Jerusalem 00:15 Getting On 00:45 Doctor Who

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Alps From Above 08:40 Prehistoric

09:30 Trashopolis 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman 13:05 Meteorite Men 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:40 Extreme Engineering 16:15 Mythbusters 17:00 Pyros 17:50 Rattlesnake Republic 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:30 Alps From Above 20:20 Crisis Control 21:10 Inside West Coast Customs 22:00 Pyros 22:50 Rattlesnake Republic 23:40 Through The Wormhole With Morgan Freeman 00:30 Alps From Above 01:15 Pyros 02:05 Rattlesnake Republic 02:50 Ultimate Journeys

09:30 Cycling: Belgium 10:30 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 11:30 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 11:45 Football: Uefa Women’s Champions League 13:15 Cycling: Belgium 14:15 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 18:30 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 20:45 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 21:00 Fight Sport: Total Ko 22:00 Fight Sport: Fight Club 00:00 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 01:00 Cycling: Belgium 01:30 Tennis: French Open Paris 02:45

Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:45 Rules Of Engagement 07:35 The Simpsons 18 08:00 Bob’s Burgers 2 08:50 How I Met Your Mother 09:40 Breakout Kings 11:10 Criminal Minds 13:35 Beauty And The Beast 14:25 Touch 15:10 Elementary 15:55 The Simpsons 18 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 20:05 White Collar 21:45 Homeland 22:40 Wilfred 23:05 The Cleveland Show 23:30 Episodes 00:00 Da Vinci’s Demons 01:00 The League 2 03:05 Breakout Kings 03:55 Lost 04:40 Lost

07:30 Facing Ali 09:15 St. Trinian’s Ii: The Legend Of Fritton’s Gold 11:15 Love & Dance 13:00 Practical Magic 14:45 Solitary Man 16:20 Fighting 18:10 London Boulevard 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Rumor Has It 23:00 Friends With Money 00:30 Hustler Tv 02:10 Lady In The Water 04:00 Biutiful 06:30 LTV Sports News

18:50 Pay It Forward «Pop Corn» 21:00 Blue Crush 2 22:55 Hemingway & Gellhorn 01:30 Michael 03:15 Trust

07:15 Pan Am 08:00 Friends 08:30 2 Broke Girls 09:00 Harry’s Law Ii 10:00 PriVIleged 10:45 C.S.I. New York 11:45 Southland 12:30 Ncis: Los Angeles 13:15 Alcatraz 14:15 Mentalist 15:00 Close 02:20 Green Hornet 04:15 Gossip Girl lector 03:55 Cine News 04:30 The Hunger Games 07:15 15 Pan Am 08:00 12 Friends 08:30 12 2 Broke Girls 09:00 15 Harry’s Law 10:00 12 Privileged 10:45 15 C.S.I. New York 11:45 15 Southland 12:30 15 Ncis: Los Angeles 13:15 15 Alcatraz 14:15 15 The Mentalist 15:00 15 The Closer 02:20 12 The Green Hornet 04:15 15 Gossip Girl

07:45 City Of Angels 09:45 I Love You, Man 11:45 True Stories 13:30 Tom & Jerry: Shiver Me Whiskers 15:00 Detroit Rock City 16:45 London Boulevard 18:45 Right Stuff 22:00 Roxanne 00:05 Daring!

Tv 04:05 Around The World In 80 Days

05:10 Take Me Home Tonight 06:50 Cine News 07:10 Home Alone 08:55 In Her Shoes 11:05 The Artist 15:00 Ncis X 16:40 Burden Of Evil 18:15 Cine News 18:30 Suspect Zero 20:15 Farewell, My Queen 22:00 Man At Sea 23:35 Battleship 01:55 The Following 02:45 Seeking Justice 04:30 The Bleeding House

05:20 I Am Legend 07:00 Cine News 08:00 Suddenly, Last Summer 09:55 A Thousand Acres 11:40 Pal Joey 13:30 The Bourne Identity 15:30 Two For The Road 17:25 Mad On Novacinema 18:05 Rounders 20:10 5 Lepta Akoma 22:00 The Skin I Live In 00:05 Colombiana 01:55 The Bone Col-

06:15 Cine News 07:00 Man On A Ledge 08:45 Unthinkable 10:10 Cine News 10:55 Midnight Run 13:05 Oi Apenantoi 15:00 Proof Of Life 17:20 Magic City - 21:00 Robinson Crusoe 22:35 Cine News 23:00 S.W.A.T. 01:00 Cine News 01:30 Jade, Secretaire De Lux 03:25 The Ward 04:55 Trespass

05:05 Cine News 05:50 Moneyball 08:00 Against All Odds 10:00 Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life 12:00 Les Emotifs Anonymes 13:20 Water For Elephants 15:20 Birth 17:05 Kala Krimmera Mystika, Athanasia

14:30 European Tour BMW PGA Championship LIVE 19:30 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative 22:00 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative LIVE 00:30 Mobil 1 The Grid 01:00 NASCAR Camping World Truck Series Highlights Charlotte Motor Speedway

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 Raintree County 08:40 Scarecrow 10:40 How the West Was Won 13:15 April in Paris 15:00 Singin’ In The Rain 16:45 North By Northwest 19:00 Streetcar Named Desire 21:00 Ryan’s Daughter 00:10 Ziegfeld Follies 02:05 Ryan’s Daughter

By Preston Wilder

Beat the World (LTV3, 20.00) The non-streetwise reader may be puzzled to learn that this film contains some of “the sickest routines ever captured on film,” according to the DVD cover.

‘What makes them sick?’ (s)he may wonder. ‘Are puppies dismembered on camera?’ Streetwise readers will have no such questions, reckoning correctly that the film is a dance movie (tag-line: “They live to dance. They dance to win”), a sequel of sorts to You Got Served in which “three dance crews prepare to do battle at the international Beat the World competition in Detroit”. That’s the plot, in its entirety - and of course plot is irrelevant, the main attraction being the high-energy (a.k.a. ‘sick’) dance routines. “If we wanna

win this competition, our moves gotta be fresh,” goes the dialogue - though the moves on display aren’t very fresh, according to the dance fans at the Internet Movie Database, leaving the film with no reason to exist. As for me, I’ve always found this ‘urban dance’ guff to be graceless and repetitive, then again I’m a Fred Astaire fan (i.e. not very streetwise). Made in 2011.

UEFA Champions League Final (Sigma, 21.00) There’s been talk, of course. We’ve all seen the blog posts on the Internet, we’ve read the graffiti on the walls. We’ve all heard rumblings of a ‘Fourth Reich’, and may have dismissed them as racist ramblings -

UEFA Champions League Final

but now it’s official! Never mind the Memorandum, never mind talk of a two-tier Europe - the proof of German dominance is finally here, in tonight’s allGerman Champions League final between Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund. Admittedly we had an all-Spanish final not too long ago and that didn’t lead to a Spain-dominated Europe (more like deep recession and 27 per cent unemployment), but why let real life get in the way of football-related wisdom? As for who’s likely to win tonight ... well, suffice to say that Bayern won this season’s Bundesliga with a 22-point lead over the runners-up, who were (yes) Borussia Dortmund. A monster in the making - and they don’t even have Pep Guardiola yet! Be afraid. Be very afraid.

T V SUNDAY 19/05 SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

CYBC 1 07.30 10.30

12.30

CYBC 2

Church Service Savvato Ki Apovrado (rpt)

08.00 14.00

Variety show, with wellknown guests pretending to have a good time for the benefit of You At Home.

17.00 17.30

I Ypaithros Kypros Eva Taxidi Eimaste Edo Local talk-show aimed at youth.

14.00 14.30

News Me Kali Parea Local talk-show, hosted by Vivian Kanari.

16.30

18.00 20.00 20.10 20.20 21.00

Tete-A-Tete (rpt)

Aminesthai Peri Patris Military and defence programme.

18.00 18.15

News Patates Antinahtes

23.05

Ego Ki Esi Local comedy show.

19.30

Mias Imera Erotas (rpt)

20.00 21.30

News Pame Paradosiaka

Part 2 of local sketch.

Yet another local veriety show.

22.30 23.30 23.45

23.45

07.20 07.50 08.40 09.30 09.40 10.30 11.20 12.10 13.50 15.15 16.50

News In English & Turkish (rpt)

19.30 20.20 21.15

Vals Me 12 Theous (rpt) News Your Face Sounds Familiar Greek talent competition where a group of well known personalities take on a new identity as an iconic music performer. But the catch is they could well find themselves transformed into someone older, younger or the opposite sex.

23.55 00.00 00.10 01.00 01.40 02.40

Tete-A-Tete News Repeats

Men Kai Den (rpt) Deixe Mou To Filo Sou (rpt) Steps (rpt) Max Adventures Santa Yiolanta (rpt) Poso Glyka Me Skotoneis (rpt) Ta Mahairota (rpt) Exairetika Afieromeno (rpt) Yia Tin Agapi Sou (rpt) Tha Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Niose Me (rpt)

MEGA 07.00 09.40 09.50 10.20 11.00 12.00 13.00 14.00 15.00

04.00 04.40

News Sports News Oikogeneia Tis Simforas (rpt) Vradi Me Ton Petro Kostopoulo Lefkes Oikos Oi Dromoi Tis Polis (rpt) News To Soi Mou Mesa (rpt)

Church Service Max Andventures Mia Stigmi Dio Zoes Klemmena Oneira Chuck Oi Vassiliades (rpt) Oi Kipouroi Tou Mega Piso Sto Spiti (rpt) FILM: Blue Streak A thief fresh out of prison finds a police station has been built where he hid his loot, forcing him to pose as a cop to get it back.

Comedy, with Martin Lawrence and Luke Wilson. 1999.

With News at 18.00.

Lost Sixth season. ‘The Package’. Sun and Jin’s search for each other is interrupted when Widmore’s crew kidnaps Jin, and Locke heads to the other island to bring him back.

In Los Angeles, Jin’s job for Sun’s father is sidetracked when his money is taken at customs.

Local satirical show, using comedy sketches and embarrassing TV clips to skewer local politicians.

19.00

FXTM Limassol International Boxing Cup News In English News In Turkish NRG Zone Weekend X-Factor USA (rpt) Two episodes.

American version of the talent contest, in which solo singers and groups compete to win a recording contract by impressing judges Simon Cowell, Nicole Scherzinger, Paula Abdul and LA Reid.

Tasos Tryfonos interviews Greek celebrities from the showbiz world.

17.30

Kid’s TV Eurovision Song Contest (rpt) Motor Sports The Human Miracle Documentary series exploring the many achievements of the human body. Part 2 of 6.

Farming programme.

13.00 13.30

ANTENNA

16.30

Anonymous News Mousiko Kouti - Live FILM: 21 A brilliant but penniless student finds an answer to his financial problems when a professor inducts him into a card-counting scam.

Drama, starring Kevin Spacey. 2008.

01.00

06.10 07.25 08.30 09.30

10.00 14.00 16.50 17.30

18.30 18.35

05.00 05.20 05.50

10.45 11.35 12.05 13.00 13.40 15.40 16.40 17.30 19.00 19.30

News Pame Paketo (rpt) Talk-show, that deals with human interest stories such as reuniting people, fulfilling dreams and connecting individuals who want to correct past mistakes in their lives.

20.15 21.30

23.45 23.50 00.30 04.20

21.00

News Istories Tou Astinomou Beka (rpt) Mes Tin Kali Hara (rpt) Magazino (rpt)

23.00

10.00

A teenager arrives in a new town and attends a fancy dress party, where he meets the girl of his dreams. The only problem is he doesn’t know her name.

Musical comedy, starring Selena Gomez.

2008.

18.10 19.10 20.05

10.30 12.15 13.55 14.25 14.40 15.55 16.25

21.00

Remington Steele Pacific Blue O Anthropos Tis Thalassas FILM: Hanging Up Three sisters are brought closer together by their father’s impending death, but sibling rivalry soon rears its ugly head.

Comedy, starring Diane Keaton. 2000.

22.45

FILM: Behind Enemy Lines: Colombia A military team is framed for murder and fight to return to base and clear their names.

Action thriller sequel, with Joe Manganiello.

2009.

FILM: The Legend Of Bruce Lee

LTV Sports News News Repeats

Kouzina Me Apopsi (rpt) Greek FILM: To Thavma Tis Magaloharis Telemarketing Kouzina Me Apopsi Kipotehnia Christopher Columbus Star Stories FILM: Woman Of The Ledge Story focusing on the close relationship between three female friends. Drama, starring Deidre Hall. 1993.

FILM: Body Of Lies

Bruce learns new fighting styles to best other boxing gangs.

Action, starring Bruce Lee. 1980.

00.30 01.20 02.05

CAPITAL

Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz LTV Sports News Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Quiz Fun Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of Stin Kouzina Me Tin Dina (rpt) Mila (rpt) Exelixeis Sti Showbiz FILM: Another Cinderella Story

A CIA agent on the ground in Jordan hunts down a powerful terrorist leader while being caught between the unclear intentions of his supervisors and Jordan Intelligence. Thriller, starring Leonardo DiCaprio. 2008.

News FILM: Rock V The former champ trains a young hopeful - only to see his protege turn against him. Drama, starring Sylvester Stallone.

1990

The Gathering

Eheis Meson (rpt) Mia Stigma, Dio Zoes (rpt) Patir, Yios Kai Pnevma (rpt) Oi Afthairetoi (rpt) Ah Eleni (rpt)

Mes Tin Kali Hara (rpt) Siga Min To’ Xeres (rpt) Efta Ouranoi Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) The CooKING

PLUS TV

Cookery show with Alexandros Papandreou, the titular King.

Mini-series about a surgeon who believes a secret group of witches kidnapped his wife.

02.20 04.20

Oi Adiafthoroi (rpt) Zoi Podilato (rpt) Vourate Geitonoi (rpt) UEFA Champions League Magazine A review of the latest matches in Europe’s premier club competition, plus a look ahead to forthcoming fixtures.

Epta Thanasimes Petheres (rpt) With News at 18.00.

19.00 20.20 21.30 23.30

SIGMA

00.30

FILM: Desert Heat A lone motorcyclist sets out to exact revenge on the small-town thugs who attacked him in the Nervada desert.

Action, starring JeanClaude Van Damme.

1999.

Person of Interest (Novacinema1, 21.00)

01:30 As Time Goes By 02:00 Being Erica 02:45 My Family 03:15 The Weakest Link 04:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 04:45 The Impressions Show With Culshaw &... 05:15 As Time Goes By 05:45 My Family 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 The Weakest Link 10:15 My Family 10:45 After You’ve Gone 11:15 Keeping Up Appearances 11:45 The Green Green Grass 12:15 2 Point 4 Children 12:45 Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive 13:15 Lead Balloon 13:45 Lark Rise To Candleford 14:35 One Foot In The Grave 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Doctors 18:25 Doctor Who 19:10 The Green Green Grass 19:40 Walk on the Wild Side 20:10 Lark Rise To Candleford 21:00 As Time Goes By 21:30 Watson & Oliver 22:00 Silk 22:50 Waking The Dead 23:40 Spooks 00:30 Being Erica

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Unchained Reaction 08:40 Meteorite Men 09:30 Extreme Engineering 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Pyros 13:05 Rattlesnake Republic 13:50 Chasing Classic Cars 14:40 Mega Beasts 16:15 Deadliest Catch 17:00 Sons Of Guns 17:50 Alps From Above 18:40 Chasing Classic Cars 20:20 Rattlesnake Republic 21:10 Alps From Above 22:00 Sons Of Guns 22:50 Alps From Above 23:40 Inside West Coast Customs 00:30 Northwest Wild 01:15 Sons Of Guns 02:05 Alps From Above 02:50 Chasing Classic Cars

09:30 Fia World Touring Car Championship: Round In Austria 10:15 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 11:00 Canoeing: Sprint World Cup 12:00 Table Tennis: World Championship 13:30 Fia World Touring Car Championship: Round In Austria 15:30 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 18:30 Cycling: Tour Of Norway 20:00 Fitness: The Box 22:00 Table Tennis: World Championship 23:45 Motorsports: Motorsports Weekend Magazine 00:00 Cycling: Tour Of California 02:00 Cycling: Tour Of Italy

05:30 Lost 07:45 The Simpsons 18 09:00 Bob’s Burgers 10:15 Rules Of Engagement 13:35 Criminal Minds 8 14:25 White Collar 15:55 Breakout Kings 17:25 Criminal Minds 19:00 The Cleveland Show 19:25 The Simpsons 18 19:50 Beauty And The Beast 20:40 Touch 21:30 Elementary 22:20 Da Vinci’s Demons 23:20 Sons Of Anarchy 4 00:10 Falling Skies 2 04:10 Wilfred 04:35 The Cleveland Show 05:00 Episodes 2

07:30 Eat Pray Love 10:00 Soccer Nanny, The 12:00 Road, The 14:00 American Flyers 16:00 Penthouse, The 18:00 Barclays Premier League 201213 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 W.E. 23:00 Centurion 0:45 Hustler Tv 03:00 48 Hrs 04:45 Another 48 Hrs 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 13:40 Max Adventures 14:05 2013 Wtcc 14:30 Planet Speed 15:00 Barclays Premier League Preview 15:30 Pre-Game 16:30 A’ Division Cyprus Soccer Championship 2012-13 18:30 Liga Bbva 2012-13 20:15 Barclays Premier League 2012-13 22:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 00:00 Nba Action 00:30 Barclays Premier League 2012-13 02:30 Planet Speed 03:00 Barclays Premier League 2012-13 05:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13

07:15 Big Bang Theory 07:45 Two And A Half Men 08:40 Friends 09:05 Harry’s Law Ii 10:00 One Tree Hill 10:45 C.S.I. New York 11:35 C.S.I. Miami 12:30 Ncis: Los Angeles

13:15 Luck 14:15 Necessary Roughness 15:00 Harry’s Law Ii 15:45 Fringe 00:05 Carlos 03:00 Action Zone 03:30 Closer, The VII

07:15 Arthur 3: The War Of The Two Worlds 09:15 Oceans 11:15 B-Girl 13:00 Greetings From The Shore 15:30 All Roads Lead Home 17:30 Whistleblower 19:30 All The President’s Men 22:00 Bachelor 00:05 Daring! Tv 04:05 My Afternoons With Margueritte 05:45 Greenberg

05:55 Being Flynn 07:40 Cine News 07:55 League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen 09:45 America’s Sweethearts 11:30 $5 A Day 13:15 The Artist 15:00 Person Of Interest 15:50 Cine News 16:50 Fast Five 19:05 Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes 21:00 Person Of Interest 22:00 Battleship 00:20 Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance 02:00 Once Fallen 03:35 The Son Of No One

05:50 Kill Bill: Vol.1 K15 07:40

Fame 09:55 Cine News 10:40 What A Way To Go 12:35 Big Miracle 14:25 5 Lepta Akoma 16:05 A Thousand Acres 17:55 Straight Story 19:35 Cine News 20:05 Green Card 22:00 Martha Marcy May Marlene 23:50 Drive 01:35 The Devil’s Own 03:25 Kingdom Of Heaven

05:05 Gone Baby Gone 07:00 Starsky & Hutch 08:40 The Caine Mutiny 10:45 Crimson Tide 12:40 Five Minarets In New York 14:40 Midnight Run 16:45 The Pelican Brief 19:10 Man On A Ledge 21:00 Unthinkable 22:30 A Man Without Honor 23:35 Conan The Barbarian 01:30 Story Of Jade 03:25 Paranormal Activity 3 04:50 American Gangster

05:55 Birth 07:35 Johnny English Reborn 09:20 Cine News 09:45 A Place In The Sun 11:45 Tha To Metaniosis 13:35 Puss In Boots 15:10 From Prada To Nada 17:00 Good Neighbor Sam 19:15 Alpis 21:00 What’s Your Number? 22:55 Pay It Forward 01:00 Moneyball 03:15 Margaret

12:00 European Tour Volvo World Match Play Championship Final LIVE 18:00 PRE GAME (E) 18:20 CHAMPIONSHIP 2012-13: APOLLON VS ENP (E) 20:20 POST GAME (E) 20:45 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative 22:00 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative LIVE

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 High Sierra 08:25 Party Girl 10:05 Human Comedy 12:00 Northern Pursuit 13:30 Postman’s Knock 15:00 Tribute to a Bad Man 16:35 Wonderful World Of The Brothers Grimm 18:50 Treasure of the Sierra Madre 21:00 Sweet Bird Of Youth 22:55 Streetcar Named Desire 00:55 Sweet Bird Of Youth 02:50 Streetcar Named Desire 04:50 Tribute to a Bad Man

By Preston Wilder

W.E. (LTV, 21.00) ‘Lady Madonna, tryin’ to be the best / You’re no good at ci-ne-ma, so give it a rest.’ When it comes to music Madonna Louise Ciccone hasn’t put a foot wrong, but she’s struggled to translate that iconic status into movies (could it be that the camera picks up a certain hollowness in her personality?). She’s dated, and even married directors (Guy Ritchie, Warren Beatty) to promote her as an actress - and finally turned director herself with this romantic drama, telling the tale of Wallis Simpson and King Edward VIII (W.E., get it?).

Abbie Cornish plays a modern woman who becomes besotted with the couple, especially Wallis (“I think it’s important to tell the story from her point of view”),

and discovers lessons for her own life in their grand romance. “Little girls love fairy tales,” she explains, and perhaps Madonna loves the fairy tale of being a movie star - but it hasn’t really worked out for her and this sideways move into directing didn’t work either, met with the usual critical brickbats and box-office failure.

At least she doesn’t act in this one. Made in 2011.

Battleship (Novacinema1, 22.00) What’s the answer when the Navy’s guns don’t work?

Bigger guns! “Prepare to fire,” says Admiral Liam Neeson with a clenched steadfast expression. “Which weapons, sir?” “All of them!” Alas, the whole thing is daft because (as in Battle: Los Angeles) the shock-and-

Battleship

awe tactics are being deployed against aliens from outer space, who are unimpressed by America’s military might. Taylor Kitsch is our hero, ordering “Full attack!” even though his fleet consists of about three destroyers and what they’re attacking is a huge alien mothership - and the film is so macho it becomes semi-enjoyable as men glower, snarl and walk around flexing their muscles (best bit: a montage of US Navy warships set to AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’) but pleasures are sparse, especially at 132 minutes. The Navyboosting is transparently obvious, the dialogue far from deathless, and pop star Rihanna looks hilariously tiny next to the big guns. In conclusion, space aliens are not the same as al-Qaeda. Thank you. Made in 2012.

T V THURSDAY 23/05 SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00 11.30

Kaftes Piperies (rpt) Istories Tou Horkou (rpt) Popular local comedy series, which is the longest-running weekly show on Cyprus television.

12.00 15.30 16.00 18.00 18.15 18.45

Apo Mera Se Mera Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi (rpt) Kaftes Piperies

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30 17.00

18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10

20.00 21.00

Paizoume Kypriaka

News Patates 8 Local satirical show, using comedy sketches and embarrassing TV clips to skewer local politicians.

22.00 22.30 23.30 23.45

Moiraia Fengaria (rpt) Proektaseis News Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite Series on Internet entrepreneurship.

00.00

Repeats

07.50 08.40

Greek version of show, wherein amateur chefs each stage a dinner party to find who will be crowned the winning host.

09.30 10.25 11.15 12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00

Biz/Emeis News In English News In Turkish Megastructures

NRG Zone A Touch Of Frost ‘Mind Games’.

Inspector Jack Frost reopens an unsolved murder case when the remains of a 14-yearold girl, who went missing 20 years ago are discovered. With the lead suspect back on the streets after serving a prison sentence for the murder of the teenager’s best friend, the inspector becomes more determined than ever to put the case to rest. Meanwhile, the detectives investigate when a late-night prank results in the death of a local businessman.

Second season of local game show, asking questions having to do with Cypriot dialect.

20.00 21.15

Kids’ TV Euromaxx Kati Psinetai (rpt)

Discovery documetary series looking at the making of the greatest structures and machines ever created.

Live local cookery show.

19.20

ANTENNA

22.35 23.00 23.45 00.00

Motor Sports Kati Psinetai (rpt) News In English & Turkish (rpt) More Repeats

14.50 15.45 16.40 17.30 17.40

Dis Madiam (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou (rpt) Karma (rpt) Panselinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) The Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Vals Me 12 Theous (rpt) Tin Patisa (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou With News at 18.00.

18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25 21.30 22.20

Aiyia Fuxia(rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Vals Me 12 Theous Grey’s Anatomy Medical drama, starring Ellen Pompeo as a surgeon, struggling with a series of private and professional crises.

23.10 00.00 00.05 00.20 01.40 02.30 03.20 04.40

Eilikrina News Sports News Iroes Anamesa Mas - I Arhi To Kleidi Tou Paradeisou (rpt) To Paihnidi Tis Signomis (rpt) News Deal (rpt)

MEGA 07.00 08.00 08.10

09.00 10.00 11.40 14.00 16.00 18.00 18.30 19.30 20.20 21.20 22.20 23.10

SIGMA

News (rpt) Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt)

06.50 07.40

Greek competitive cooking reality show, open to amateur and home chefs.

08.50

Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson Yia Sena News Greek Series TBA Sto Para Pente News Klemmena Oneira Oi Vasiliades FILM: Prom Night A teenager finds her parents’ murder coming back to haunt her at her prom when the killer crashes the party.

Horror remake, starring Brittany Snow. 2008.

00.30 00.40

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles The series picks up two years after the events of Terminator 2: Judgment Day with John and Sarah Connor hiding from the government. Sarah decides they need a change of scenery and in doing so they expose themselves to an FBI Agent and Skynet’s army of Terminators.

01.30 03.30

09.40 10.30 11..10 12.00 15.30 18.00 18.05 18.40

PLUS TV

Anna Paola (rpt) Spiti Apo Tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt) Vasiliki (rpt) Aspra Balonia (rpt) Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati Eleni News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama Anna Paola Latin American telenovela.

19.40 20.20 21.15

Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites News Pame Paketo

07.20 08.30 09.00 10.00 10.45 11.40 12.30 13.00 15.30 17.15 17.50 19.40 21.15 22.00

Third season.

‘Stowaway’. The team examines the case of a woman who appears to be immortal, having stayed alive after numerous suicide attempts, and receives help from an FBI agent.

Meanwhile, William Bell continues his stay in Olivia’s body.

Popular talk-show, that deals with human interest stories such as reuniting people, fulfilling dreams and connecting individuals who want to correct past mistakes in their lives.

23.10 00.15 00.20 01.00 01.45 04.10

Dekati Entoli (rpt) News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

22.45

Cold Case (rpt) Third case. ‘The Hen House’. The case of an ambitious newspaper reporter who was murdered in 1945 is reopened when new evidence suggests the woman was thrown in front of a train by someone she knew.

23.30

Yia Sena (rpt) Proino Mou (rpt)

Fotis - Maria Live Best Of Exelixeis Sti Showbiz Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of I Kouzina Me Tin Dina (rpt) Mila (rpt) Ayio Eihame (rpt) Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kid’s TV Ayio Eihame Fotis Maria Live Mila Exelixeis Stin Showbiz Fringe

01.00 02.00 03.00

Nistikoi Praktores (rpt) LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

CAPITAL 06.45 08.15 10.00 11.00 11.30 12.10 12.35 13.25 14.20 15.30 16.05 16.50 17.30 19.15 19.50 20.05 21.00

Kids’ TV Sto Mati Tou Kiklona Ston Asterismos Tis Imeras Kouzina Me Apopsi Kalitera En Ginetai (rpt) Akti Oneiron (rpt) Milagros Kids’ TV Telemarketing Kalitera En Ginetai Top Models Akti Oneiron Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) News Sports Time O Anthropos Tis Thalassas FILM: Hardball A hardened gambler is forced to repay a debt by coaching a baseball team of underprivileged youngsters.

Sporting drama, starring Keanu Reeves.

2001.

23.00

FILM:The Constant Gardener A widower is determined to get to the bottom of a potentially explosive secret involving his wife’s murder, big business, and corporate corruption.

Thriller, starring Ralph Fiennes. 2005

01.15

FILM: Dream for an Insomniac Romantic comedy, starring Ione Syke and Jennifer Aniston. 1996.

We Need to Talk About Kevin (Novacinema2, 22.00)

01:25 My Family 01:55 The Weakest Link 02:40 EastEnders 03:10 Doctors 03:40 Love Life 04:30 After You’ve Gone 05:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 05:45 My Family 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 10:00 After You’ve Gone 10:30 The Weakest Link 11:15 EastEnders 11:45 Doctors 12:15 Hustle 13:05 Love Life 13:55 My Family 14:25 Sahara With Michael Palin 15:15 After You’ve Gone 15:45 EastEnders 16:15 Doctors 16:45 The Weakest Link 17:30 Hustle 18:20 Love Life 19:10 EastEnders 19:40 Doctors 20:15 The Weakest Link 21:00 My Family 21:30 Keeping Up Appearances 22:00 Spooks 22:50 Getting On 23:20 Little Britain 23:50 Watson & Oliver 00:20 The World of Stonehenge

07:00 07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Rattlesnake Republic

08:40 Northwest Wild 09:30 Trashopolis 10:15 Extreme Engineering 11:05 Deadliest Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Inside West Coast Customs 13:05 Chasing Classic Cars 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:15 Cafe Racer 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Trashopolis 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Alps From Above 17:50 Prehistoric 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 Extreme Engineering 21:10 Trashopolis 22:00 Alps From Above 22:50 Prehistoric 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 Extreme Engineering 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Alps From Above 02:50 Prehistoric 03:40 Cafe Racer 04:30 Trashopolis 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 Extreme Engineering

09:30 Equestrian: Nations Cup Series France 10:30 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 11:30 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 11:45 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 15:00 Cycling: Belgium 16:30 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 21:00 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 21:15 Football: Uefa Women’s

Champions League 23:30 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 00:30 Fight Sport: Total Ko 01:15 Football: Uefa Women’s Champions League 02:15 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 18 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 11:45 The Simpsons 18 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 Touch 15:00 Breakout Kings 15:45 The Simpsons 18 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 19:50 The Simpsons 18 20:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 Touch 22:20 Beauty And The Beast 23:10 Criminal Minds 00:00 Da Vinci’s Demons 01:00 Touch 01:50 The League 2 02:15 Criminal Minds 03:05 Breakout Kings 03:50 The Simpsons 18 04:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 04:40 Lost

Soeurs 07:30 Dave 09:30 Beatdown 11:00 Hollywood Buzz 11:30 All Good Things 13:30 Black Sunday 16:00 Hollywood Buzz 16:30 Black Beauty 18:00 Lucky One, The 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Middle Men 23:00 What Women Want 01:10 Hustler Tv 03:00 Twilight 04:40 Ma Part Du Gateau (My Piece Of The Pie) 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 17:00 A’ Division Cyprus Soccer Championship 2012-13 19:00 Barclays Premier League Review 20:00 Inside Line 20:30 La Liga World 21:00 Barclays Premier League World 21:30 CocaCola Cup 2012-13 23:30 Spirit Of Wimbledon 00:00 Planet Speed 00:30 2013 Wtcc 01:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 03:00 2012 Pga Tour Highlights 04:00 Grand American Series 2012 05:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13

07:15 Harry’s Law Ii Two And A Half Men Ncis: Los Angeles Friends 10:30 Pan Am Necessary Roughness

08:00 08:30 10:00 11:15 12:50

Closer, The V 13:40 Harry’s Law Ii 14:30 Ncis: Los Angeles 16:00 Two And A Half Men 16:30 One Tree Hill 17:15 C.S.I. New York 19:00 Closer, The V 19:45 PriVIleged 20:30 Friends 21:00 Alcatraz 21:55 Luck 23:05 Strike Back I 00:05 Faces In The Crowd 01:50 Arthur (2011) 03:50 Two And A Half Men 04:15 One Tree Hill 05:00 C.S.I. New York 06:30 Closer

08:15 Groupie 09:45 His Way 11:15 Everything Must Go 13:00 Unknown (2011) 15:00 Barbarian Princess 16:40 Burlesque 18:40 Oh, God! Book II 20:15 Ticking Clock 22:00 Shutter Island 00:25 Daring! Tv 04:05 Skyline 05:45 Yogi Bear

05:10 Miss Bala 07:05 There’s Something About Mary 09:05 Lower Learning 10:45 Action Zone 11:20 Like Crazy 12:55 The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 15:00 The Art Of Getting By 16:30 Cine News 17:15 The Three Musketeers 19:10 Mad On Novacinema 19:50 Hara Kiri: Death Of A Samurai 22:00 Le Prenom 23:55 Rites Of Passage 03:30 In Darkness

05:40 The End Of The Affair 07:25 Do No Harm 08:55 Cine News 09:25 The Adventures Of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn 11:10 Fun With Dick And Jane 12:50 War Horse 15:15 Abduction 17:05 Hollywood 1 On 1 20:00 Friends With Kids 21:50 Films And Stars At The Festival Cannes 2013 22:00 We Need To Talk About Kevin 00:00 The Hunting Party 01:50 How I Spent My Summer Vacation 03:25 Cine News 04:00 Margin Call

19:30 Paraggelia 21:00 The Conspirator 23:05 The Following The Final Chapter 23:55 Cine News 01:00 Russian Institute Lesson 15 - Anna Et Ses

19:15 Poker Face 21:00 Hugo 23:10 Bounce 01:00 We Bought A Zoo

16:30 European Tour BMW PGA Championship LIVE 20:00 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative 22:30 Ringside Boxing 00:30 NASCAR Camping World Truck Series Charlotte Motor Speedway 02:30 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative LIVE

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 24:00:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 Texas Carnival 07:15 Rebel Without a Cause 09:05 Robin And The Seven Hoods 11:05 They Drive by Night 12:45 Prize 15:00 Honeymoon Machine 16:25 Quo Vadis 19:10 Roberta 21:00 V:I:P:S 22:55 Dirty Dozen 01:20 V:I:P:S 03:15 Dirty Dozen

By Preston Wilder

Oh God! Book II (LTV3, 18.40) Not the best night for Pick of the Day: one of our selections is in French [see below] and the other is this sequel to a very unlikely 70s hit, popular in America where anything God-related always strikes a nerve in the Bible Belt (this is the nation that gave us Joan Osborne singing “What if God was one of us?”). George Burns - cigar-smoking ex-vaudevillian who wrote a book called ‘How to Live to Be 100 or More’, and died a month after his own 100th birthday - makes a suitably roguish Almighty, appearing to a young girl (bob-haired moppet Louanne) and asking her to spread his Word; “They don’t believe in Me as much as they should,” He kvetches - but Louanne soon comes

up with the catchy slogan “Think God” and makes the world a better place, at which point you may well lose faith in the whole misbegotten enterprise. Not exactly recommended, but anything so cheesy and outdated comes with its own must-see value. Made in 1980.

Le Prenom (Novacinema1, 22.00) A third French-language Pick in three days! - and this is the French-est of the lot, proving the well-worn adage that the country of Brie and Bordeaux also makes the talkiest movies in the world. Fortunately this one is a comedy - and a good one, once you get used to the constant chatter (it’s based on a play), appropriately set among the chattering classes. Charles

Le Prenom

Berling is a rather stuffy professor, hosting a dinner party for some close friends including his brother-inlaw (Patrick Bruel), a noisy fellow with a penchant for tasteless jokes. Patrick’s wife is pregnant - and Patrick brings the party to a standstill by announcing that he and the missus plan to name their offspring Adolf (as in Hitler, though of course that’s just a coincidence).

The comedy depends on everyone being exorbitantly touchy about everything that happens, whether it’s being called stingy or finding out some unexpected news about one’s mother - and the plot may be implausible but the highlights are undeniable, and the second half reels very amusingly from one comic fracas to another. In French, and lots of it. Made in 2012.

T V TUESDAY 21/05 SUNDAY MAIL• May 19, 2013

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00 11.30

Kaftes Piperies (rpt) Istories Tou Horkou (rpt) Popular local comedy series, which is the longest-running weekly show on Cyprus television.

12.00 15.30 16.00 18.00 18.15 18.45

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30 17.00 18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10

20.00 21.00

Second season of local game show, asking questions having to do with Cypriot dialect.

20.00 21.15

22.00

News Vimata Stin Ammo

Moiraia Fengaria (rpt) Local period drama, based on true events.

22.30 23.30 23.45

Eponymos News Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite Series on Internet entrepreneurship.

00.00

Repeats

07.50 08.40

NRG Zone Survivors

Desperate Housewives

22.45 23.30 00.00

09.30 10.25 11.15 12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00 14.50 15.45 16.40 17.30 17.40

Erotas (rpt) Proino Enimerosi Me Agapi Ellas To Magaleio Sou (rpt) Dis Madiam (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou (rpt) Karma (rpt) Pansellinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia (rpt) Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) The Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Eleftheros Kai Oraios (rpt) Oneiropagida (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou

MEGA 06.00 07.00 08.00 08.10

Kati Psinetai (rpt) SOS Calling Earth More Repeats

18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25 21.30 23.10 00.00 00.30 01.40 02.30 03.20 04.40

Aiyia Fuxia(rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Local Football Awards Enopion Tou Laou News Radio Arvila To Kleidi Tou Paradeisou (rpt) To Paihnidi Tis Signomis (rpt) News Deal (rpt)

Retire News (rpt) Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt) Greek competitive cooking reality show, open to amateur and home chefs.

09.00 10.00 11.40 14.00 16.00 18.00 18.30 19.30 20.50 21.20

Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson Yia Sena News Greek Series TBA Sto Para Pente News Klemmena Oneira

22.20

Oi Vasiliades

23.10

Vampire Diaries

Greek drama series.

SIGMA 06.50 07.40 08.50 09.40 10.30 11.10 12.00 15.20 18.00 18.05 18.45 19.40 20.20 21.15 22.30

Greek comedy series.

00.00 00.20

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Set after the events in Terminator 2 Sarah Connor and her son John, trying to stay under-the-radar from the government as they plot to destroy the computer network Skynet in hopes of preventing Armageddon.

01.00 03.00 04.30

Anna Paola (rpt) Spiti Apo Tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt) Vasiliki (rpt) Aspra Balonia (rpt) Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati Eleni News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama Anna Paola Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites News Aspra Balonia (rpt) FILM: When Harry Met Sally Harry and Sally have known each other for years, and are very good friends, but they fear sex would ruin the friendship. Romantic comedy, starring Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan.

1989.

A high school girl is torn between two vampire brothers. First season.

With News at 18.00.

Sixth season. ‘Nice Is Different Than Good’.

The identity of Mike Delfino’s bride is revealed, and while one of the Wisteria Lane women is struck by happiness, another finds her world falling apart. Meanwhile, Lynette becomes hostile toward her unborn babies, Bree begins a reluctant affair with Karl Mayer, and a new family with a dark past moves to the street.

Third season of local period drama, based on true events.

22.00

05.30 06.30 06.50 07.00

Season two. ‘Episode: 2’. Abby remains in the clutches of the ruthless Whitaker. Meanwhile, Greg discovers a vital clue in the search for his missing friend, and sets off on the trail of a sinister pharmaceutical company thought to be responsible for a series of recent abductions.

Apo Mera Se Mera Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi (rpt) Kaftes Piperies Paizoume Kypriaka

Kids’ TV Euromaxx Kati Psinetai (rpt) Biz/Emeis News In English News In Turkish Megastructures Discovery documetary series looking at the making of the greatest structures and machines ever created.

Local live cookery show.

19.20

ANTENNA

00.15 00.20 01.00 01.45 04.10

News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

Yia Sena (rpt) Enimerosi Tora Proino Mou (rpt)

PLUS TV 06.45 07.20 08.30 09.00 10.00 10.45 11.40 12.30 13.00 15.30 17.15

Classic Cartoons Fotis - Maria Live Exelixeis Sti Showbiz (rpt) Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of I Kouzina Me Ti Dina (rpt) Mila (rpt) Ayio Eihame (rpt) Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kids’ TV Ayio Eihame Greek comedy series.

17.50

21.25

With News at 18.00.

19.15 19.50 20.05 21.00

Mila Popular tear-jerking talk-show following women’s issues, with showbiz guests.

Hosted by Tatiana Stefanidou.

21.00

06. 45 Kids’ TV 08.15 Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) 10.00 Ston Asterismo Tis Imeras 11.00 Kouzina Me Apopsi 11.30 Kalitera En Ginetai (rpt) 12.30 Milagros 13.20 Kids’ TV 14.30 Telemarketing 15.20 Kalitera En Ginetai 16.05 Top Models 17.00 Akti Oneiron 17.30 Sto Mati Tou Kiklona

Fotis - Maria Live Entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, health, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

19.40

CAPITAL

Epic drama, starring Ralph Fiennes. 1999.

See Pick Of The Day.

00.20

23.00

Ta Kopelia

23.40 00.50 01.50

LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

Local comedy series.

FILM: Code 11-14 FBI agents fly to Australia to arrest a serial killer and take him back to the US. But during the return journey, they learn they’ve got the wrong man.

Thriller, starring David James Elliott. 2003.

Exelixeis Sti Showbiz FILM: Love N’ Dancing A bored teacher gets some excitement in her life when a former professional swing dancer asks her to compete with him in the world championships. Romantic drama, starring Amy Smart. 2008.

News Sports News Igeia & Zoi FILM: Sunshine

02.00

FILM: Hard Cash Released from prison, an infamous thief and his new crew pull of a brilliant robbery but then become embroiled with a corrupt FBI agent when they discover the money is marked. Action thriller, starring Christian Slater and Val Kilmer.

2002.

I Don’t Know How She Does It (Novacinema1, 15.00)

01:00 The Impressions Show With Culshaw &... 01:30 The Weakest Link 02:15 Ideal 02:45 My Family 03:15 EastEnders 03:45 Doctors 04:15 The Green Green Grass 04:45 The Impressions Show With Culshaw &... 05:15 Ideal 05:45 My Family 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K,

By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 10:00 The Green Green Grass 10:30 The Weakest Link 11:15 EastEnders 11:45 Doctors 12:15 Lark Rise To Candleford 13:05 Waking The Dead 13:55 My Family 14:25 Sahara With Michael Palin 15:15 The Green Green Grass 15:45 EastEnders 16:15 Doctors 16:45 The Weakest Link 17:30 Lark Rise To Candleford 18:20 Waking The Dead 19:10 EastEnders 19:40 Doctors 20:15 The Weakest Link 21:00 My Family 21:30 The Royle Family 22:00 Lark Rise To Candleford 22:50 As Time Goes By 23:20 Little Britain 23:50 Silk 00:40 After You’ve Gone

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Sons Of Guns 08:40 Alps From Above 09:30 Trashopolis 10:15 Extreme Engineering 11:05 Deadliest Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Crisis Control 13:05 World’s Top 5 13:50 Chasing Classic Cars 14:15 Cafe Racer 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Trashopolis 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Rattlesnake Republic 17:50 Northwest Wild 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:05 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 Extreme Engineering 21:10 Trashopolis 22:00 Rattlesnake Republic 22:50 Northwest Wild 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 Extreme Engineering 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Rattlesnake Republic 02:50 Northwest Wild 03:40 Cafe Racer 04:30 Trashopolis 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 Extreme Engineering

09:30 All Sports: Watts 09:45 Football: Eurogoals 10:30 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 11:30 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 11:45 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 21:00 Tennis:

Get Ready For Roland Garros 21:15 Boxing 23:15 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 00:15 Fia World Touring Car Championship: Fia Wtcc Mag 00:45 Rally: Inside Erc 01:15 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 02:15 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 18 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 11:45 The Simpsons 18 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 Beauty And The Beast 15:00 Breakout Kings 15:45 The Simpsons 18 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 19:50 The Simpsons 18 20:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:05 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 Beauty And The Beast 22:20 Touch 23:10 Criminal Minds 00:00 Da Vinci’s Demons 01:00 Sons Of Anarchy 4 01:50 Beauty And The Beast ) 02:40 The

League 2 03:05 Breakout Kings 03:50 The Simpsons 18 04:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 04:40 Lost

07:30 Kiss The Girls 09:30 Falling Down 11:30 Poor Boy’s Game 13:30 Akeelah And The Bee 15:30 Hollywood Buzz 16:00 Eva 18:00 Tootsie 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Normal Life 23:00 Mercy 00:35 Hustler Tv 02:45 Underbelly Files - Tell Them Lucifer Was Here 04:30 Freebie And The Bean 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 17:00 Nba Action 17:30 Barclays Premier League World 18:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 20:00 2013 Wtcc 20:30 Planet Speed 21:00 La Liga Review 2012-13 22:00 Liga Bbva 201213 00:00 Volvo Ocean Race 01:00 Ironman 02:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 04:00 Grand American Series 2012 05:00 Barclays Premier League 2012-13

07:15 One Tree Hill 08:00 Two And A Half Men 08:30 C.S.I. New York 10:00 Harry’s Law Ii 10:45 Two And A Half Men 11:15 Ncis: Los Angeles 12:45

Closer, The V 13:30 One Tree Hill 14:15 C.S.I. New York 16:00 Friends 16:25 PriVIleged 17:10 Alcatraz 18:05 Luck 19:00 Closer, The V 19:45 Harry’s Law Ii 20:30 2 Broke Girls 21:00 Southland 21:45 C.S.I. Miami 22:30 Strike Back I 23:20 Pushing Daisies 00:05 Sin Nombre 01:45 Easier With Practice 03:30 Friends 03:55 PriVIleged 04:40 Alcatraz 05:35 Luck 06:30 Closer, The V

08:00 Not With My Wife, You Don’t! 10:00 Chain Of Fools 12:00 Rabbit Hole 13:40 Action Zone 14:15 Rudo Y Cursi 16:15 Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed 18:00 Sympathy For Delicious 20:00 La Delicatesse (Delicacy) 22:00 Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard 23:30 Action Zone 00:05 Daring! Tv 04:00 Pina 05:45 Elder Son

05:55 Seeking Justice 07:40 Albert Nobbs 09:40 Cine News 09:55 My Life So Far 13:15 The Women On The 6th Floor 15:00 I Don’t Know How She Does It 16:35 Cine News 17:30 The Amazing Spider Man 19:50 Hollywood 1 On 1 20:25 Dirty Girl 22:00 Game Of Thrones 23:00 The Double 00:45 Grey, The 02:40 Damsels In Distress 04:20 Fantastic Four

06:05 I Fouska 07:50 Bob & Carol, Ted & Alice 09:35 Cine News 10:30 The Illusionist 12:20 Emma 14:20 Lady From Shanghai 15:50 My Super ExGirlfriend 17:30 Hollywood Buzz 18:05 Glory 20:10 Salvation Boulevard 21:50 Films And Stars At The Festival Cannes 2013 00:00 The Bourne Identity 02:00 Chasing Amy 03:55 This Must Be The Place

19:00 Gran Torino 21:00 The Perfect Storm 00:05 Shame 01:45 Orgy: The Xxx Championship X

19:20 Management 21:00 Tooth Fairy 2 22:35 Happythankyoumoreplease 00:20 Hemingway & Gellhorn

15:00 European Tour Volvo World Match Play Championship Final 18:00 PRE GAME(E) 18:20 CHAMPIONSHIP 2012-13: APOLLON VS ENP (E) 20:20 POST GAME (E) 20:45 STIGMIOTIPA KYPRIAKOU PODOSFEROU 21:00 NHL: Playoffs Date & Time Tentative 23:30 Pinks All Out Tucson

06:00 MTV Morning 12:00 MTV Daily Hits 18:00 MTV Out Loud 00:00 MTV After Hours

06:00 Captain Sindbad 07:25 East Of Eden 09:15 Come Fly With Me 11:00 Johnny Eager 12:55 Julius Caesar 15:00 Grand Hotel 16:55 Friendly Persuasion 19:10 Green Mansions 21:00 Travels With My Aunt 23:00 Wild Bunch 01:25 Travels With My Aunt 03:20 Wild Bunch

By Preston Wilder conventional when it comes to love - nor is the affair terribly passionate after an initial, unexpected office smooch (the title translates as ‘Delicacy’), reflecting the un-gallant truth that Audrey’s persona is low on sexual crackle (it’s why she made such a good Amélie, helping other people from a distance). A civilised, rather flat entertainment. In French; made in 2011.

La Delicatesse (LTV3, 20.00) Somewhere there’s a corner of Paris that will always be Audrey Tautou - maybe somewhere with bistros and street musicians, a cosy setting for the perky French actress with the button eyes and rather boyish features, still looking young a decade after Amélie.

Audrey’s perkiness is severely tested when her husband is killed in a car accident - but depressed Audrey soon gives way to rom-com Audrey, trying to shake the blues via a relationship with a shaggy, not especially attractive Swedish colleague (Francois Damiens).

“The two stars appear to be as bewildered by the turn of events as we are,” notes Entertainment Weekly acidly, then again Ms. Tautou has always been a bit un-

Sunshine (Capital, 21.00)

La Delicatesse

Got three hours to spare? Fancy watching the saga of a Hungarian-Jewish family, moving through three generations from Empire to Holocaust to Communism? Capital TV is full of surprises - and this Englishlanguage period piece (not to be confused with the

more recent, sci-fi Sunshine) is a bit obscure though it won quite a few awards, including Best Actor for Ralph Fiennes at the European Film Awards. He plays three roles, father, son and grandson, suffering along with Europe’s 20th-century vicissitudes - and the film is briskly done and never boring, it just never builds any momentum. Its three hours could easily be two, or four, or six. Years pass, shots and lines recur (“Please God, may we always go on singing”), themes - above all the betrayal of ethnic identity - get re-stated from generation to generation, and we finally wind up in bathetic conclusion. “Politics has made a mess of our lives,” sighs wise old Granny. “Still, life was beautiful...”.

Three hours, just for this? Thanks Gran. Made in 1999.

T V WEDNESDAY 22/05 May 19, 2013• SUNDAY MAIL

CYBC 1 06.45 08.15

Proti Enimerosi Kali Sas Mera Early morning entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

11.00 11.30

Kaftes Piperies (rpt) Istories Tou Horkou (rpt) Popular local comedy series, which is the longest-running weekly show on Cyprus television.

12.00 15.30 15.35 16.00 18.00 18.15 18.45

Apo Mera Se Mera State Lottery Draw Entehnos Mazi Sto CyBC News Kypros Ena Taxidi (rpt) Kaftes Piperies

CYBC 2 08.00 16.30 17.00 18.00 18.50 19.00 19.10

20.00 21.00

20.00 21.15

22.00

Moiraia Fengaria (rpt) Local period drama, based on true events

22.30 23.30 23.45

I Kypros Konta Sas News Diktiotheite Kai Exelihtheite Series on Internet entrepreneurship.

00.00

Repeats

09.30 10.25 11.15

22.45 23.30 00.00

12.10 13.00 13.20 14.00 14.50

NRG Zone Survivors

Desperate Housewives Sixth season. ‘Being Alive.’ As the residents of Wisteria Lane try to make sense of a recent attack in the neighbourhood, Lynette withholds a secret from Susan. Meanwhile, Gabrielle gives her niece Ana advice on how to get a man’s attention, and new resident Angie works tirelessly to protect her family’s past.

News Vimata Stin Ammo Third season of local period drama, based on true events.

22.00

07.50 08.40

Second season.

Episode 3: A chance encounter with Billy, a generous travelling trader, has dire consequences for Greg and his friends, who are tracked down by Samantha’s men. Determined to reintroduce the judicial system, she forces Tom to stand trial for his crimes.

Paizoume Kypriaka Second season of local game show, asking questions having to do with Cypriot dialect.

Kids’ TV Euromaxx Kati Psinetai (rpt) Kato Apo Ton Idio Ourano News In English News In Turkish Megastructures Discovery documetary series looking at the making of the greatest structures and machines ever created.

Live local cookery show.

19.20

ANTENNA

Kati Psinetai (rpt) SOS Calling Earth More Repeats

15.45 16.40 17.30 17.40

Dis Madiam (rpt) Fila To Vatraho Sou (rpt) Karma (rpt) Panselinos (rpt) Tis Agapis Mahairia (rpt) Niose Me (rpt) News Mera Mesimeri Konstantinou Kai Elenis (rpt) The Vreis To Daskalo Sou (rpt) Eleftheros Kai Oraios (rpt) Tin Patisa (rpt) Lefta Sto Lepto Yia Tin Agapi Sou

MEGA 06.00 07.00 08.00 08.10

Greek competitive cooking reality show, open to amateur and home chefs.

09.00 10.00 11.40 14.00 16.00 18.00 18.30 19.30 20.20 21.20

21.30 22.20

Aiyia Fuxia(rpt) Niose Me News Allantopoleio Grigoriou Vals Me 12 Theous Grey’s Anatomy Medical drama, starring Ellen Pompeo as a surgeon, struggling with a series of private and professional crises.

23.10 00.00 00.05 00.20 01.40 02.30 03.20 04.40

Oikonomahies News Sports News Ola Bahalo Fetos To Kleidi Tou Paradeisou (rpt) To Paihnidi Tis Signomis (rpt) News Deal (rpt)

Klemmena Oneira (rpt) Proino Mou Enimerosi Tora Eheis Meson Yia Sena News Greek Series TBA Sto Para Pente News Klemmena Oneira Greek drama series.

With News at 18.00.

18.40 19.30 20.15 21.25

Retire News (rpt) Max Adventures Master Chef (rpt)

22.20

Oi Vasiliades

23.10

Vampire Diaries

Greek comedy series.

A high school girl is torn between two vampire brothers. First season.

00.00 00.20

News Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles Set after the events in Terminator 2 Sarah Connor and her son John, trying to stay under-the-radar from the government as they plot to destroy the computer network Skynet in hopes of preventing Armageddon.

01.00 03.00 04.30

SIGMA 07.40 08.50 09.40 10.30 11..10 12.00 15.30

Spiti Apo Tin Arhi (rpt) Efialtis Stin Kouzina (rpt) Vasiliki (rpt) Aspra Balonia (rpt) Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati Eleni Variety show featuring entertainment as well as segments on cooking, health, astrology, lifestyle, youth issues and more. Hosted by well-known presenter Eleni Menegaki.

18.00 18.05 18.40 19.40 20.20 21.15 22.20

News Ti Tha Fame Simera Mama Anna Paola Efta Ourani Kai Sinnefa Alites News Aspra Balonia 60 Lepta

PLUS TV 07.20 08.30 09.00 10.00 10.45 11.40 12.30 13.00 15.30 17.15 17.50

Entertainment magazine featuring segments on cooking, health, fashion, lifestyle issues and more.

19.40

01.45 04.10

Dekati Entoli (rpt) News Epistrofi (rpt) Se Fonto Kokkino (rpt) Mesimeri Kai Kati (rpt) Eleni (rpt)

Mila Tear-jerking talk-show following women’s issues, with showbiz guests.

21.15 22.00

Local investigative show.

23.40 00.15 00.20 01.00

Fotis - Maria Live Exelixeis Sti Showbiz (rpt) Mesimeriani Meleti Best Of I Kouzina Me Ti Dina (rpt) Mila (rpt) Ayio Eihame (rpt) Star News Mesimeriani Meleti Kids’ TV Ayio Eihame Fotis - Maria Live

FILM: The Legend Of Hell’s Gate Action, starring Eric Balfour 2012. See Pick Of The Day.

Yia Sena (rpt) Enimerose Tora Proino Mou (rpt)

00.30 01.15 02.20

08.15 10.00 11.00 11.30 12.05 12.30 13.20 14.35 15.30 16.05 17.00

LTV Sports News Star News Repeats

Sto Mati Tou Kiklona (rpt) Ston Asterismo Tis Imeras Kouzina Me Apopsi Kalitera En Ginetai (rpt) Akti Oneiron (rpt) Milagros Kids’ TV Best Off Live@4 (rpt) Kalitera En Ginetai Top Models Sto Mati Tou Kiklona With News at 18.00.

19.15 19.50 20.05 21.00

News Sports News Epi Topou FILM: The Banger Sisters A former rock groupie decides to recapture the excitement of her youth with a fun-loving friend, but her pal isn’t too keen on the idea.

Comedy, with Goldie Hawn and Susan Sarandon. 2002.

Exelixeis Sti Showbiz The Closer Sixth season. ‘High Crimes’.The Chief of Police assigns Major Crimes a case involving the armed robbery of several medical marijuana dispensaries; Brenda is tested on her readiness to move up in the department.

22.45

CAPITAL

22.50

FILM: Frozen River A stockbroker’s life seems to be falling apart: until he adopts the guise of a newspaper agony aunt. Comedy, starring Charlie Sheen. 2001.

00.35

FILM: Three The sinking of a yacht maroons a wealthy businessman and his beautiful wife on an island with a former servant. Action, starring Billy Zane. 2005.

The Social Network (LTV, 21.00)

01:10 The Weakest Link 01:55 The Royle Family 02:25 As Time Goes By 02:55 EastEnders 03:25 Doctors 03:55 Lark Rise To Candleford 04:45 Little Britain 05:15 The Royle Family 05:45 My Family 06:15 The Weakest Link 07:00 Penelope K, By The Way 07:10 Me Too! 07:30 Teletubbies 07:55 Balamory 08:15 Penelope K, By The Way 08:25 Me Too! 08:45 Teletubbies 09:10 Balamory 09:30 My Family 10:00 Little Britain 10:30 The Weakest Link 11:15 EastEnders 11:45 Doctors 12:15 Silk 13:05 Lark Rise To Candleford 13:55 My Family 14:25 Sahara With Michael Palin 15:15 The Royle Family 15:45 EastEnders 16:15 Doctors 16:45 The Weakest Link 17:30 Silk 18:20 Lark Rise To Candleford 19:10 EastEnders 19:40 Doctors 20:15 The Weakest Link 21:00 My Family 21:30 After You’ve Gone 22:00 Love Life 22:50 Jam And Jerusalem 23:20 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 00:05 Spooks 00:55 Getting On

07:00 Sunrise Earth 07:55 Crisis Control 08:40 World’s

Top 5 09:30 Trashopolis 10:15 Extreme Engineering 11:05 Deadliest Catch 11:50 How Do They Do It? 12:15 Rattlesnake Republic 13:05 Northwest Wild 13:50 Cafe Racer 14:35 Ultimate Journeys 15:25 Trashopolis 16:10 Mythbusters 17:00 Inside West Coast Customs 17:50 Chasing Classic Cars 18:40 Cafe Racer 19:30 Ultimate Journeys 20:20 Extreme Engineering 21:10 Trashopolis 22:00 Inside West Coast Customs 22:50 Chasing Classic Cars 23:40 Deadliest Catch 00:30 Extreme Engineering 01:15 Mythbusters 02:05 Inside West Coast Customs 02:50 Chasing Classic Cars 03:40 Cafe Racer 04:30 Trashopolis 05:20 Ultimate Journeys 06:10 Extreme Engineering

09:30 Fia World Touring Car Championship: Fia Wtcc Mag 10:00 Marathon: Sand Marathon 10:30 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 11:30 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 11:45 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 15:00 Cycling: Belgium 16:30 Tennis: Atp Tournament Germany 21:00 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros 21:20 All

Sports: Wednesday Selection 21:25 Equestrian: Nations Cup Series France 22:25 Equestrian Sports: Riders Club 22:30 Golf: U.S. P.G.A. Tour Byron Nelson Classic 23:25 Golf: The European Tour World Matchplay Championship 23:50 All Sports: Alexia S Selection 23:55 Golf: Golf Club 00:00 Sailing: Yacht Club 00:05 All Sports: Wednesday Selection 00:15 Cycling: Tour Of Italy 01:15 Marathon: Sand Marathon 01:45 Cycling: Belgium 02:15 Tennis: Get Ready For Roland Garros

05:30 How I Met Your Mother 06:15 Criminal Minds 07:00 Breakout Kings 07:45 The Simpsons 18 08:10 Bob’s Burgers 08:35 Rules Of Engagement 09:25 How I Met Your Mother 10:15 Criminal Minds 11:00 Breakout Kings 11:45 The Simpsons 18 12:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 12:35 Rules Of Engagement 13:25 How I Met Your Mother 14:15 Elementary 15:00 Breakout Kings 15:45 The Simpsons 18 16:10 Bob’s Burgers 2 16:35 Rules Of Engagement 17:25 How I Met Your Mother 18:15 Criminal Minds 19:00 Breakout Kings 19:50 The Simpsons 18 20:15

Chan’s First Strike 20:00 Fools Rush In 22:00 Hot Coffee 23:30 Action Zone 00:05 Daring! Tv 03:45 Agora 06:00 Knight’s Tale

Bob’s Burgers 2 20:40 Rules Of Engagement 21:30 Elementary 22:20 Homeland 23:10 Criminal Minds 00:00 Da Vinci’s Demons 01:00 Elementary 01:50 The League 2 02:15 Criminal Minds 03:05 Breakout Kings 03:50 The Simpsons 18 04:15 Bob’s Burgers 2 04:40 Lost

07:30 American, The 09:30 Everything Must Go 11:15 Machete 13:00 Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory 14:45 Dangerous Attraction 16:15 Easy A 18:00 My Best Friend’s Wedding 20:00 LTV Sports News 21:00 Social Network, The 23:05 Bad Boys 01:05 Hustler Tv 02:50 Assassination Games 04:35 Beerfest 06:30 LTV Sports News

07:00 Kids TV 17:00 2012 Pga Tour Highlights 18:00 CocaCola Cup 2012-13 21:30 La Liga World 22:00 Inside Line 22:30 Planet Speed 23:00 2012 World’s Strongest Man 23:30 Spirit Of Wimbledon 00:00 La Liga Review 2012-13 01:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13 03:00 2012 Pga Tour Highlights 04:00 Grand American Series 2012 05:00 Liga Bbva 2012-13

07:15 Harry’s Law Ii 08:00 2 Broke Girls 08:30 Southland 09:15 C.S.I. Miami 10:00 Friends 10:25 PriVIleged 11:10 Alcatraz 12:05 Luck 13:00 Closer, The V 13:45 Harry’s Law Ii 14:35 Southland 15:20 C.S.I. Miami 16:05 Friends 16:30 Pan Am 17:20 Necessary Roughness 19:00 Closer, The V 19:45 Harry’s Law Ii 20:30 Two And A Half Men 21:00 Ncis: Los Angeles 22:30 Strike Back I 23:20 Pushing Daisies 00:05 Mercy 01:45 Bachelor, The 03:50 Friends 04:15 Pan Am 05:00 Necessary Roughness 06:30 Closer, The V

07:15 Dance Flick 08:45 Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy 11:00 Rain People 12:45 Above The Law 14:30 Green Hornet 16:45 Flirting With Flamenco 18:30 Jackie

06:10 Men Vs Women 08:10 Gattaca 10:00 Hollywood 1 On1 10:45 Mao’s Last Dancer 12:45 The Way 15:00 Serendipity 16:35 Cine News 16:50 The Lorax 18:25 Sister 20:10 O Annivas Pro Ton Pilon 22:00 John Carter 00:20 Blitz 02:05 21 Jump Street 03:55 Turn Me On, Dammit!

07:40 Shampoo 09:35 Notting Hill 11:45 No Reservations 13:30 Walk Don’t Run 15:25 Oi Apenantoi 17:15 Films & Stars 17:50 The Client 19:55 Contraband 21:50 Films And Stars At The Festival Cannes 2013 22:00 Polisse 00:15 Safe House 02:10 Oi Tempelides Tis Eforis Koiladas 04:05 Catch. 44

19:15 Starsky & Hutch 21:00 Page Eight 22:45 Cine News 23:00 The Prince Of Winterfell 00:00 2ttr 00:50 Cine News 01:30 Fuck Vip Stars X

By Preston Wilder

Polisse (Novacinema2, 22.00) I apologise for all the French-ness in Pick of the Day this week. I like French people, their food is superb, their culture inspirational, the Eiffel Tower is a miracle of engineering - but this is the second French film in two days, and we’ve got a third coming up tomorrow!

Sorry, non-French-speakers - but we can’t ignore Polisse, both because it won the Jury Prize at Cannes two years ago and because it’s so perversely ... um, French in its sensibility. The subject is child protection, our (fictional) heroes being the cops of the Juvenile Protection Unit - tracking down child molesters, working with abused kids and oversexed teens - but there’s none of the righteous moralism you’d expect in an

Anglo-Saxon equivalent, in fact the ending (a happy ending for one character cross-cut with a sad ending for another, seeming to argue for a more tolerant line on paedophilia) is incredibly un-PC. These cops are sloppy, flawed and often unprofessional - “Can’t we do a rape, or a gang rape? It’d be cooler for me” - and the film isn’t very good (director Maiwenn is notably bad as a toothy journalist) but it’s still a breath of fresh air. Vive la difference, and so forth. Made in 2011.

The Legend of Hell’s Gate (Plus TV, 22.45) The title sounds like horror, the subtitle (‘An American Conspiracy’) makes it sound political - yet the film is

actually a Western, telling the tale of three outlaws in 1870s Texas. They include Eric Balfour, whom you’ll know if you saw Skyline (he’s got the pointiest chin in Hollywood), and Henry Thomas who once played Elliot in E.T. - and the film is just a straight-to-DVD adventure but it’s got a decent story, taking in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln and a cliff formation known as Hell’s Gate, a haven for notorious outlaws and men on the run. “My husband gave up and went to bed. I stayed and watched to the end thinking it would pick up at any time. It just never did,” grumbles ‘kozykitten’ at the Internet Movie Database - but it’s probably worth a quick look, just to see how the kid from E.T. is doing these days. Made in 2011.

The Legend of Hell’s Gate

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