Portland State Vanguard Volume 75 Issue 25

VOLUME 75 • ISSUE 25 • FEBRUARY 9, 2021

NEWS PSU professors discuss Trump’s legacy P. 4–5

ARTS & CULTURE Portland’s best dog parks P. 26

OPINION In defense of min-maxing P. 29

CONTENTS

COVER BY SAM GARCIA

NEWS COVID-19 CHECK

P. 3

ARTS & CULTURE IT’S GOOD TO BE A DOG IN PORTLAND

P. 26

ASKING THE QUESTION: WHAT WAS DONALD J. TRUMP’S PRESIDENCY?

P. 4-5

CLASSICAL GAS

P. 27

BRAZILIANS CALL OUT BOLSONARO FOR COVID-19 MISMANAGEMENT

P. 6

FARMER’S PROTESTS CONTINUE IN INDIA DESPITE BACKLASH

P. 7

OPINION CONGRESS DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU

P. 28

INTERNATIONAL THIS WEEK AROUND THE WORLD

THE VIRTUES OF MIN-MAXING

P. 29

P. 8

COMICS

P. 30-31

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

P. 9-24

VIRTUAL EVENTS CALENDAR

P. 32

SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY LOOKING BACK AT A YEAR IN SCIENCE

P. 25

STAFF

EDIT ORI A L EDITOR IN CHIEF Justin Grinnell MANAGING EDITOR Nick Townsend NEWS EDITORS Hanna Anderson Dylan Jefferies INTERNATIONAL EDITOR Karisa Yuasa SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY EDITOR Béla Kurzenhauser ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR Morgan Troper OPINION EDITOR Nick Gatlin

ONLINE EDITOR Lily Hennings COPY CHIEF Sophie Concannon CONTRIBUTORS Sean Bascom Rhian Beam Conor Carroll Sofie Grant Mary Joaquin Nova Johnson Analisa Landeros Claire Plaster Eric Shelby Sierra Still Mackenzie Streissguth Zoe Vandal

PHO T O & MULTIMEDI A PHOTO EDITOR Annie Schutz MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Olivia Lee PRODUC TION & DE SIGN CREATIVE DIRECTOR Sam Person DESIGNERS Farah Alkayed Sam Garcia Shannon Steed

T ECHNOL OGY & W EB SIT E TECHNOLOGY ASSISTANTS Juliana Bigelow Kahela Fickle George Olson A DV ISING & ACCOUN TING COORDINATOR OF STUDENT MEDIA Reaz Mahmood STUDENT MEDIA ACCOUNTANT Sheri Pitcher

STUDENT MEDIA TECHNOLOGY ADVISOR Corrine Nightingale To contact Portland State Vanguard, email editor@psuvanguard.com MIS SION S TAT EMEN T Vanguard ’s mission is to serve the Portland State community with timely, accurate, comprehensive and critical content while upholding high journalistic standards. In the process, we aim to enrich our staff with quality, hands-on journalism education and a number of skills highly valued in today’s job market.

A BOU T Vanguard, established in 1946, is published weekly as an independent student newspaper governed by the PSU Student Media Board. Views and editorial content expressed herein are those of the staff, contributors and readers and do not necessarily represent the PSU student body, faculty, staff or administration. Find us in print Tuesdays and online 24/7 at psuvanguard.com.

Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @psuvanguard for multimedia content and breaking news.

COVID-19 CHECK CONOR CARROLL

TOTAL CASES AT PORTLAND STATE AS OF FEB. 7: 41

Eight January cases, 0 February cases After 10 new cases in the month of December, and eight new cases in the month of January, there are zero cases related to PSU that have been reported thus far in the month of February.

In the month of January, four resident students and four non-resident students tested positive for COVID-19. Some potential on-campus exposures have been identified and have undergone testing and quarantine, according to PSU’s Center for Student Health and Counseling (SHAC).

TOTAL CASES AND DEATHS IN OREGON AS OF FEB. 7: 146,741 REPORTED CASES AND 2,019 REPORTED DEATHS

Total Vaccinations as of Feb. 7: 532,451 first and second doses administered; 734,950 delivered According to a guide by OPB, illustrating how Oregon plans to “beat COVID-19,” Oregon needs to reach at least 70% citizen immunity from COVID-19. That is an estimated 3.3 million people, or about 165 “sell-out crowds at the Moda Center.”

Oregon is averaging, as of Feb. 5, 16,000 “first doses” of vaccinations per day, and at this rate it would take more than a year in order to vaccinate 3.3 million people completely. It currently requires two vaccine shots, placed two to four weeks apart, in order to provide maximum assumed protection from the virus.

According to the same report, about 150,000 of those required vaccines are shipped in from out of state each week, and are then distributed statewide at locales like hospitals, public health clinics, tribal health centers and pharmacies.

State officials have planned three phases of the vaccine rollout: Phase 1: limited supply, where vaccines are only available to specific groups.

Phase 2: likely sufficient supply, with vaccines available to the general population.

Phase 3: Routine distribution, with completely open access, perhaps similar to the seasonal flu shot.

Which demographics, professions, and ages that will receive the vaccine at which phase are still being determined. As of Feb. 3, Oregon is in what is called “Phase 1b.”

Phase 1a is only health care workers and skilled nurses. Phase 1b is educators, adults over 65, BIPOC community members, people with underlying conditions, farm workers, food processing workers and people in multi-generational housing. This list is subject to change.

According to reporting and state officials, herd immunity isn’t required to begin returning to “normal life,” rather a combination of continual vaccinations, masks, social distancing and other non-pharmaceutical interventions (NPIs).

TOTAL CASES IN THE U.S. AS OF FEB. 7: 26,796,705 CASES AND 454,134 DEATHS Total Vaccinations in the U.S. as of Feb. 7: 31.6 million received at least 1 dose; 9.1 million fully vaccinated.

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

NEWS

3

ASKING THE QUESTION: WHAT WAS DONALD J. TRUMP’S

PRESIDENCY? 4

NEWS

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

PSU PROFESSORS WEIGH IN ON HOW TO ACADEMICALLY DEFINE THE PRESIDENCY

DONALD J. TRUMP. MATT A.J./FLICKR

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

CONOR CARROLL The presidency of Donald Trump is over, despite active denial from some supporters of the former executive of the United States.

Nevertheless, pundits, academics and political aficionados have slowly begun to ask the question: How does one objectively define this former President and his political ideologies and practices?

American citizens, politically active or otherwise, often have a personal opinion of Trump and what took place during his presidency. The past few years have included instances from a transgender ban in the military and separating immigrant or refugee children from their parents, to a trillion-dollar tax break for the overwhelmingly wealthy and an alleged failure to address a global pandemic.

However, personal opinion is separate from an academic assessment of a political leader’s actions during their respective tenure.

Recently, several Portland State professors gave a brief, albeit informative, assessment of the 45th president’s activity while in office, within the sphere of their individual area of expertise and study.

This is by no means an exhaustive analysis of Trump’s time while leading the nation. This is a brief elucidation of how one could assess the policies and impacts, negative or positive, of the previous administration.

Professor David A. Horowitz, Ph.D., a prolific educator at PSU in the History department who focuses on U.S. cultural and political history—especially 20th century and populist expression— delineated quite clearly how Trump’s presidency could possibly be viewed.

Horowitz stated, regarding Trump’s presidency: “For historians who appreciate the 250-year-long span in which Americans have sought ‘a more perfect union,’ [Trump’s presidency] ranks as the nation’s most demoralizing chapter. It has made a mockery of the Founders’ aspiration that a coherent and rational government can rise above personal interest to act for the public welfare.

To build a political movement designed to tear apart the democratic fabric which voters assign leaders the responsibility to uphold is among the worst of crimes. It is only surpassed by those of a sadistic demagogue who has pandered to the very worst xenophobic and intolerant remnants of our national psyche.

To say that Trump is the worst president in American history suggests a comparison that elevates him far beyond his sorry and pathetic station. Beyond that, he will not be remembered.”

John B. Hall, Ph.D., professor of economics and international studies, stated: “The Trump presidency has already been skillfully characterized by academia. Readily, I can note just one example of the many that could be cited.

In her several books, Professor Ruth Beth-Ghiat of New York University has focused on the personalities associated with those seeking to construct authoritarian regimes. Her insights into Benito Mussolini and his switch from posing as a democratically elected leader after three years in power, to El Duce, a dictator espousing what he introduced to Italy and the world as ‘fascismo,’ is comparable to our recent president, who went into office with an election and over time endeavored to apply his powers towards transforming the presidency into an authority operating beyond the controls of the legislative and judicial branches of our federal government.”

Bruce Gilley, professor of political science, who focuses on urban and public affairs in the Mark O. Hatfield School of Government, stated: “The academy has veered sharply to the Left since the 1960s, and since President Trump positioned himself unapologetically on the Right, the academy will classify him under all sorts of pejorative labels, as they did George W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, and Richard Nixon.

So, the academy’s judgement on Trump is not very interesting, other than a reflection of the extreme intellectual monoculture in the academy. The more interesting question is how the academy will classify the 74 million Americans who voted for President Trump in 2020.

While potentially aware of the arrogance and elitism of dismissing half the electorate as racists, deplorables, or idiots, the academy has so far indicated this is precisely how it will classify Trump voters in its assessments. Again, this speaks more to the crisis of intellectual integrity, objectivity and legitimacy in the academy than to anything else.”

Sarah Tinkler, Ph.D., a professor of economics, stated: “As an economist, my temptation is to stick to economics.

However, doing so would ignore the elephant in the room: an armed insurrection in which participants were goaded by President Trump to intervene to undermine the democratic process.

So, I will not get into the weeds of individual policies enacted by President Trump, some of which I agree with. Rather, I would like your readers to think about why democracy which, of necessity, implies the peaceful transfer of power is important to the economic wellbeing of citizens.

One of the most famous economists, Amartya Sen, proposed that famines are the result of a lack of democracy rather than a lack of food. A government that is responsive to the people will ensure that the food supply is maintained. Daron Acemoglu of Massachusetts Institute of Technology has studied the link between democracy and economic growth and found that democracy promotes an substantial increase in economic well-being.

Lastly, riots and other types of disorder create an environment that increases business uncertainty. I believe that history will remember the insurrection and forget the specific economic policies that President Trump enacted.”

Chris Shortell, Ph.D., professor of political science, who also focuses on urban and public affairs, stated: “Evaluations of presidencies in political science usually reflect four categories from scholar Stephen Skowronek—reconstructive, affiliated, preemptive and disjunctive.

Each of those categories speaks less about the individual in office and more about the political circumstances and coalitions that led them to power. Many scholars have classified Trump as a disjunctive president, one who comes to power at the end of a political era, representing the final gasp of a previously dominant split between the political parties.

Others, though, have characterized Trump as a reconstructive president—one who fundamentally changes and resets the divisions between the political parties, creating new electoral coalitions that will last well into the future.

Which is true? We don’t know.

The lesson from this is that it is almost impossible to make this characterization in the moment. We need to see what happens in the years that follow to truly understand the impact of his presidency on the underlying political landscape.”

Joshua Eastin, Ph.D., an associate professor of political science in the Hatfield School of Government, said: “If the question is ‘where will [Trump] rate on the best/worst president scale,’ then I don’t think it’s a stretch to predict that he will vie with James Buchanan for the bottom spot. What is harder to predict is whether his presidency will be viewed as an aberration of ‘business as usual’ in U.S. politics, or as the embodiment of and impetus for a new anti-democratic sociopolitical movement, one rooted in deference to a charismatic leader and exclusion of non-believers rather than some unifying ideology.

The answer will hinge on the success of Trump’s elite followers—Gaetz, Hawley, Nunez, Jordan, Taylor-Greene, for example—at harnessing disinformation to build on and exploit the outrage of Trump’s core base of support; their ability to draw on the levers of power to disenfranchise political opposition and their canniness at maintaining what could be a key foundational myth—that of a stolen election.

It will also depend on the willingness of non-Trumpist Republicans to confront and counteract these efforts, as any Trumpist attempt to form a new political party is likely to fail.

The sentiments Trump drew upon to attain the presidency— racial and class-based animus, demonization of outsiders and retreat from international alliances and entanglements—have always existed in U.S. politics and always will. So has the willingness to use disinformation—the deliberate dissemination false information—to attain (or maintain) power.

The difference is that we had yet to witness all these forces manifest so fully and completely in the Office of the President.

I am heartened by the resilience of our democratic institutions in thwarting Trump’s attempts to stay in office. At the same time, I am horrified at the willingness of so many in the Republican party to assist him in doing so or to simply look away, especially because the continuing durability of our institutions rests on a shared commitment to maintaining them.”

NEWS

5

BRAZILIANS CALL OUT BOLSONARO FOR

COVID-19 MISMANAGEMENT

A MAN HOLDS A SIGN THAT READS "VACCINE NOW. GET OUT BOLSONARO." BRUNA PRADO/AP PHOTO

KARISA YUASA Hundreds of people joined caravans across Brazil on Jan. 31 calling for the impeachment of President Jair Bolsonaro over his handling of the COVID-19 pandemic for the second consecutive weekend, according to Al Jazeera.

Protests emerged on Jan. 23 when thousands took to the streets angered by the government’s response to the pandemic and the end of the emergency financial assistance in December that helped 68 million Brazilians.

“President Bolsonaro downplayed Covid-19, which he called ‘a little flu’,” Human Rights Watch stated. “He fired his health minister for defending World Health Organization recommendations, and the replacement health minister quit in opposition to the president’s advocacy of an unproven drug to treat Covid-19.”

As of Feb. 6, Brazil has had over 9.4 million cases of COVID-19 and over 230,000 deaths. Protestors accused Bolsonaro of mishandling the response to the pandemic and vaccine distribution.

In June 2020, Brazil announced it signed a $127 million deal with AstraZeneca to produce their vaccine in a Rio de Janeiro facility, in an effort to produce 30 million doses by the end of January 2021. According to Reuters, the facility has yet to produce a single dose, caused by the lack of a necessary active ingredient due to a shipping delay.

Bolsonaro, an outspoken critic of China, announced that he would refuse to purchase any vaccines from China. When the Chinese Sinovac shot showed just a 50.4% efficacy rate during its Brazilian trials, he emphasized the disappointing number to his supporters. Due to many difficulties, Brazil’s Health

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Ministry announced the purchase of 100 million doses of the Sinovac vaccine from the Butantan Institute, a public biomedical research center in São Paulo.

Due to the delays, Brazil did not start giving out the vaccine until Jan. 17, while other Latin American countries were able to begin weeks prior, according to Reuters.

“I feel as if Brazil doesn’t have a government,” said protester Ana Claudia on Jan. 23. “Brazil has been left to fend for itself.

We’re not going to wait for a million of our people to die for our people to rise up.”

In the Amazonas city of Manaus, hospitals ran out of oxygen and the federal government was forced to fly in tanks from across the country. On Feb. 5, Brazil’s prosecutor general opened an investigation on Bolsonaro and Brazil’s health minister, Eduardo Pazuello, for possible negligence in regards to the response to the COVID-19 outbreak in Manaus.

Organized by leftist groups, approximately 500 vehicles paraded along the capital’s Esplanade of Ministries with signs such as “Bolsonaro out” and “vaccination for everyone” on Jan. 23.

On Jan. 24, many people in attendance at protests had supported and voted for Bolsonaro during his 2018 presidential campaign, but have since become discontent with the President’s performance.

“I’m so revolted by my vote,” said Meggy Fernandez at a proimpeachment rally organized by right-wing groups in Rio de Janeiro, according to Reuters. “Bolsonaro is overseeing a terrible government. He’s doing a disservice to the nation. His handling of the pandemic is completely wrong.”

Professor of public administration at the Getulio Vargas Foundation, Gabriella Lota, commented on the contrast of the protests from Jan. 23–24. “We had two protests, one on Saturday and one on Sunday. The one on Saturday was about the people on the left side and the Sunday one was from the people on the right side,” Lota said. “Society is very divided but everybody is somehow blaming the president about the crisis—the economic and pandemic crisis.”

Bolsonaro’s approval rating has dropped during the recent pandemic wave. According to January polls from Datafolha, 40% of respondents rated the Bolsonaro administration “bad” or “terrible.” That rating is up from 32% in early December.

Despite growing disapproval rates, the poll also showed that support of impeachment proceedings had dropped 3% since the previous survey.

After announcing that he will not be taking any vaccine, Bolsonaro has defended his government’s vaccine distribution plans. “With respect, nobody would do better than my government is doing,” Bolsonaro said in a Jan. 15 television interview.

According to Reuters, Brazil has a “long history of successful inoculation drives, and its state-funded production facilities can churn out vaccines at scale.” This may put Brazil in a better position than many countries that also struggle with making vaccines accessible.

“It’s a succession of errors that began from the start of the pandemic,” said Marcia Castro, a native Brazilian and professor at the Harvard TH Chan School of Public Health, according to Al Jazeera. “And sadly, we’re measuring those mistakes in the number of deaths.”

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

FARMER’S PROTESTS CONTINUE IN INDIA DESPITE BACKLASH

A WOMAN PARTICIPATES IN A PROTEST AGAINST NEW FARM LAWS IN MUMBAI, INDIA. RAFIQ MAQBOOL/AP PHOTO

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

KARISA YUASA On India’s Republic Day, Jan. 26, protesting farmers in India broke police barricades to storm the historic Red Fort where hundreds of police officers were injured and one protester is reported to have died, according to Al Jazeera.

Farmer’s protests in India started in November when new farming laws were proposed, which many farmers fear will allow large corporations to have all of the control over the market.

Following the events on Republic Day, internet access was blocked in several districts in the Haryana state near New Delhi, according to CNN. Internet restrictions started in three districts on Jan. 26 for 24 hours, but were extended while more districts were added to the list until 14 of the 22 districts had restricted internet access by Jan. 31.

India’s Ministry of Home Affairs argued that the blocking of internet access was “in the interest of maintaining public safety and averting public emergency.”

“The government does not want the real facts to reach protesting farmers, nor their peaceful conduct to reach the world,” said Darshan Pal, leader from Samyukta Kisan Morcha, a united front of over 40 Indian farmer’s unions. “It wants to spread its false spin around farmers. It is also fearful of the coordinated work of the farmers’ unions across different protest sites and is trying to cut off communication means between them.”

Under the direction of the government, Twitter temporarily suspended accounts and tweets that were deemed a “grave threat to public order” on Feb. 1. Most of the approx. 250 accounts affected belonged to protesters and journalists.

“By ordering these blockings, the Home Affairs Ministry is behaving like an Orwellian Ministry of Truth who wants to impose its own narrative about the farmers’ protests,” Reporters Without Borders said.

According to Human Rights Watch, eight journalists who covered the violence that erupted at Red Fort also face baseless criminal charges.

“The Indian authorities’ response to protests has focused on discrediting peaceful protesters, harassing critics of the government, and prosecuting those reporting on the events,” said Meenakshi Ganguly, South Asia director at Human Rights Watch. “The government instead should conduct a transparent and impartial investigation into the January 26 violence in Delhi.”

Protesters and their supporters have called the government’s response repressive.

“We want to send out a signal loud and clear,” Pal said, according to Deutsche Welles. “We will not tolerate the repressive measures unleashed by the government against farmers, including the discriminatory laws, the arrests of farmers and the internet shutdown.”

“We call on the authorities and protesters to exercise maximum restraint in ongoing #FarmersProtests,” the United Nations tweeted. “The rights to peaceful assembly & expression should be protected both offline & online. It’s crucial to find equitable solutions with due respect to #HumanRights for all.”

On Feb. 6, thousands of protesters held three-hour-long road blockades across the country except in the capital of New Delhi. According to Al Jazeera, farmers squatted on the roads in some states with signs protesting the laws.

Even as harvest season begins in March, protesters have made plans that would allow them to continue the protests throughout the season.

“We have worked out detailed plans to ensure that our movement does not lose steam even during the next harvest season when farmers will gather their wheat and other winter crops,” said Rakesh Tikait, a prominent leader in one of the largest farmer’s unions, according to Reuters. “We have prepared a set of rota for every village to ensure that a new batch of farmers comes to the protest sites every time a group from here leaves for villages to collect crops.”

The protesters are not planning to back down until their demands are met.

“To ensure that the deadlock ends, the government must roll back the laws, make it mandatory for buyers to pay stateset guaranteed prices and take back police cases filed against protesting growers,” said Tikait, who is also a leader in the movement as a whole. “Farmers are not going to budge if the government does not concede to the three core demands.”

INTERNATIONAL

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THIS WEEK

around the

WORLD

Jan. 31–Feb. 6

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Februaru 3

OTTAWA, CANADA

Noting their role in the attack on the United States capitol on Jan. 6, the Canadian government has become the first to designate the Proud Boys as a terrorist organization, according to AP News.

“The Proud Boys is a neo-fascist organization that engages in political violence and was formed in 2016,” the Public Safety Canada website stated. “Members of the group espouse misogynistic, Islamophobic, anti-Semitic, anti-immigrant, and/or white supremacist ideologies and associate with white supremacist groups.” Although France 24 called this motion “purely symbolic,” this designation allows the groups assets to be frozen and members can be charged with terroristic charges if they commit violent crimes. “There is no basis for it. It’s infringement of free speech rights. All the Canadian Proud Boys have ever done is go to rallies,” said Enrique Tarrio, chairperson of the Proud Boys. “They used what happened at the Capitol to push for this.” Tarrio was arrested in Washington prior to the capital riots and accused of destroying a Black Lives Matter banner.

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Februaru 3

PARIS, FRANCE

A French court ruled that France has not followed through on its

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INTERNATIONAL

commitments to fight climate change, including its multi-year plan to cut carbon emissions in the 2015 Paris Climate Accord, according to Reuters. The complaint was filed by four nongovernmental organizations and backed by more than 2 million French citizens. According to Al Jazeera, the court ordered the French government to pay a symbolic one euro fine to each of the NGOs that filed the case. “For the first time, a French court has ruled that the state can be held responsible for its climate commitments,” said Cécile Duflot, Executive Director of Oxfam France, one of the NGOs that brought the case. According to Duflot, the ruling was “a timely reminder to all governments that actions speak louder than words.”

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Februaru 5

PALAU

The Pacific Islands Forum (PIF)—now a 17-member regional body—is facing growing uncertainties after Palau withdrew from the organization, according to The New York Times.

“They’ve said in the past that the relationship in the Pacific is unique—it’s like a family,” said Jonathan Pryke, the director of the Pacific Islands Program at the Lowy Institute. “To have a family member leave altogether, it’s just a very bad sign.” Palau

withdrew after a dispute on which countries had the power to select the new PIF secretary-general. This conflict between north pacific countries and south pacific countries in addition to the inability to host in person talks due to COVID-19 has made diplomacy unstable. “The process regarding the appointment of the secretary-general has clearly indicated to the Republic of Palau that unity, regionalism and the ‘Pacific Way’ no longer guide the forum,” Surangel Whipps Jr., Palau’s president, said.

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Februaru 6

N’DJAMENA, CHAD

Hundreds of protesters were met with tear gas and arrests by police in the country’s capital, according to Al Jazeera. The protests erupted following the governing party’s confirmation of the nomination of President Idriss Deby for his sixth term.

Deby first came to power in the 1990 rebellion that overthrew former leader Hissene Habre. In 2005, a referendum was passed to abolish presidential term limits. Although term limits were reinstated in 2018, the constitutional change would let him stay in power until 2033. According to Reuters, hundreds of protesters were seen with signs reading, “No to a sixth term” and “Leave, Deby.”

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

UP HERE, DOWN THERE: EXPLORING TRANS SEX

A BRIEF HISTORY OF AROMANTICISM

LOVE IN THE TIME OF TUMBLR

A materialist history of Valentine’s Day

VALENTINE’S DAY CARDS. ERIC SHELBY/PSU VANGUARD

NICK GATLIN As Valentine’s Day approaches yet again, the familiar accoutrements appear as well: fancy chocolates in fancy heart-shaped boxes, valentine cards bought from either a boutique stationery store or a supermarket card section, red roses 30% off at the local florist, etc. Why are all of these things associated with love, romance and sex? Do they have anything to do with Valentine’s Day? For that matter, what is Valentine’s Day, even? Is all of this just fake shit made up by corporations to make a quick buck by exploiting feelings of affection every February 14?

Yeah, basically.

Let’s start from the beginning, in Victorian England, where the commercialization of Valentine’s Day got its start. According to Dr. Sally Holloway, gender and material culture historian at Oxford Brookes University, Valentine’s Day shifted from a folk tradition to a commercial holiday replete with pre-printed valentine cards—as well as a popular revolt against that same process of commercialization.

In her article “Love, Custom & Consumption: Valentine’s Day in England c.1660–1830” published in the journal Cultural and Social History, Holloway traces the material history of Valentine’s Day and the ways in which the commercialization of the holiday has challenged and influenced how we experience love. Originally, Valentine’s Day celebrations consisted of valentine’s “lotteries” and gift exchanges, as well as the practice of children going door to door soliciting either food or money, saying, “good morrow to you, Valentine.” This type of celebration is certainly nothing like modern Valentine’s Day. The traditions began to shift, Holloway writes, in the second half of the eighteenth century. Lotteries and gift exchanges were slowly replaced by the exchange of paper valentines. By 1780, one could buy a “valentine writer”—essentially a pamphlet with various poems and short stories about love and romance—that one could copy into their handwritten valentine card. By the 1790s, pre-printed valentines were widely available in stores. Here we can see the first steps that Valentine’s Day took away from a community tradition and toward a commercial holiday.

Valentine’s Day was not alone in this shift. The popularity of printed goods exploded in the 18th century, with pre-written greeting cards, satirical prints, trade cards and more becoming widespread. This proliferation of printed goods mirrored the larger social and economic trends of the Industrial Revolution,

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LOVE & SEX GUIDE

where machines were seemingly churning out uniform products left and right.

Not all people followed the trend of premade cards. In fact, it became somewhat of a badge of honor to make handmade valentines, as members of every class and social status chose to write their own cards, tie their own lovers’ knots and fold their own puzzle purses. This “self-consciously archaic languag[e] of love,” as Holloway puts it, was a response to the commercialization of romantic culture and the impersonal nature of modern love.

Handmade valentines, often made by urban poets and other city dwellers, extolled the virtues of rural living. These “pastorals” used deliberately archaic language and imagery—things associated with ancient knights, troubadours, country cottages and the like—as a contrast to their present material conditions.

Holloway argues these valentines had a dialectical relationship between urban and rural: between the thesis of industrial capitalism and the antithesis of an earlier, medieval age. The advent of capitalism had severed the traditional relationship between craftsmen and the individual means of production, instead transforming each person into a wage worker with no connection to the goods they produced. Handmade cards harkening back to a sentimentalized past were simply a natural response to this historical development.

So that’s the history of valentine cards; what about chocolates?

Here we can see a similar story to valentine cards. Richard Cadbury, co-owner of the Cadbury chocolate company, decided in 1861 to market heart-shaped chocolate boxes covered in Cupids and rosebuds for Valentine’s Day. In Victorian England, Cupid imagery was already immensely popular, and Valentine’s Day had long since become a commercial holiday. But what Cadbury did inextricably linked chocolate to Valentine’s Day, and forever reinforced the connection between chocolate and romance.

The heart-shaped boxes Cadbury sold were designed to last long enough to hold valentine cards and other romantic mementos— which conveniently doubled as free marketing for Cadbury the longer the box stayed in the house. Other chocolatiers quickly jumped on the trend; Milton Hershey actually switched his business from caramel to chocolate-making in 1894, and in 1907 he introduced the famous Hershey Kiss. Russell Stover, now one of the biggest chocolate sellers in the world, makes bank every year on its “Secret Lace Heart” box of chocolates.

According to the National Retail Federation’s 2021 Valentine’s Day spending survey, consumers each plan to spend an average of $164.76 on their loved ones this February 14. In total, they project around $21 billion will be spent on various Valentine’s Day gifts and expenses. Valentine’s Day, like most other holidays, is a cash cow.

In the age of international capitalism, it would be silly to think of Valentine’s Day as restricted to England and the United States, or even the English-speaking world. Valentine’s Day has spread to almost every country on the globe, and its reception has been more positive in some places than others.

In Japan, for example, Valentine’s Day was popularized by confectioners who began to market heart-shaped chocolate boxes in the 1930s. As a result, you don’t give any cards or flowers or jewelry to your significant other on Valentine’s Day; you only give them chocolates, and lots of them. Furthermore, women are expected to give chocolates to men on February 14, not the other way around.

In the 1980s, the Japanese National Confectionery Association successfully lobbied for “White Day,” a holiday on March 14 where men reply to women’s gifts from Valentine’s Day and give them chocolate in return. Men are expected to give women a gift that’s worth about two to three times the one they received in February; coincidentally, Japanese chocolate shops make around 70% of their annual income in the lead-up to Valentine’s Day and White Day. In contrast, in 2003, protests against Valentine’s Day in Bombay sparked violence after Hindu and Muslim activists called for the banning of the holiday and members of the right-wing group Shiv Sena raided some stores selling valentine cards. One Shiv Sena leader said of the holiday, “[Valentine’s Day] is nothing but a Western onslaught on India’s culture to attract youth for commercial purposes.”

The Indian left has its criticisms of the holiday too: Professor Satya P. Sharma sees Valentine’s Day as an outgrowth of the “liberalization and globalization” of India’s economy, the “inevitable fallout of the distinct global mass identity forged by television” in the world capitalist system.

One can celebrate Valentine’s Day as a simple holiday meant to kindle romance and bring out expressions of love. But before you celebrate this year, consider: do you celebrate the way you do because it truly expresses your feelings? Or have you been conditioned to consume for consumption’s sake? Has the commercialization of Valentine’s Day shaped how you experience romance?

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

TOP SPOTS TO TAKE YOUR PUP ON VALENTINE’S DAY! 4. Mount Tabor is an escape from the bustling city life and is filled with giant trees and a few reservoirs. It is a refreshing place to take a dog on a walk and smells incredible.

5. The Bite on Belmont is a cute food truck court located on SE Belmont where you can find delicious Thai food, Coffee, and mac & cheese. It is an exciting place to bring a dog because you can sit outside and eat with them right next to you while being socially distant.

SOFIE BRANDT

To see more cute content of Harvey, check out his Instagram @harvey_minidox

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1. The Tilikum Crossing bridge is a beautiful place to take your dog out to explore the Willamette view and see both Southeast Portland and the Southwest Waterfront at the same time.

2. The waterfront is a beautiful walk along the Willamette River. It is a great place to bird watch, and you will catch runners, bikers, dogs, commuters and more. During COVID-19, it is a fun place to explore outside.

3. The Portland Nursery, located on the Southeast Division St., has everything from houseplants to trees and seeds. It is a fun place to take a small dog to explore this fantastic store’s outside section.

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LOVE & SEX GUIDE

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HOW TO MAKE A GOOD MIX FOR VALENTINE’S DAY AND BEYOND

MORGAN TROPER At the risk of sounding like a Nick Hornby character, creating a mix for someone is a delicate task. It has to be eclectic, but you also want to cater to the recipient’s tastes somewhat or they won’t actually listen to the thing. It probably shouldn’t contain any tracks off Weezer’s Pinkerton, but it has to be obvious that you’re making this person a mix because you like them and not because you’re a pop evangelist attempting to impose your tastes on them.

It’s long been my personal opinion that mixes are the greatest Valentine’s Day gift of all—they indicate a certain degree of effort, which is always more meaningful than a box of chocolates or a card with a pug on it from the grocery store. They’re not too corny as far as romantic gestures go—making someone a Valentine’s Day mix allows you to acknowledge the holiday without forsaking the anti-materialistic position you likely purport to hold.

Mixes are great; I love making them and I love receiving them. They are also hard. I’ve spent entire days toiling over track substitutions and trivial sequencing decisions. Of course, a lot of what makes a great mix is subjective—but there are a few basic guidelines you always want to follow no matter what.

Choose a format.

There are some insufferable purists who insist that mixes are only legitimate when they’re impressed on some physical format. This is really weird to me, since in my experience, producing the actual mix itself—whether it’s a playlist, tape, or CD—is the easiest part of the entire process. If you both have Spotify, then that’s obviously the easiest method. That said, I used to

buy Memorex CDs and Sharpie out the letters so they said “emo.” Funny stuff!

Figure out what you’re trying to express.

It may seem like making a romantic mix for someone is as simple as throwing some love songs on a playlist—for the “I don’t really pay attention to the lyrics’’ crowd this is possibly sufficient, but under any other circumstance it won’t fly. It’s important that you tailor your mix to your unique situation.

For example, a couple of years ago I returned to Portland after a failed stint in Los Angeles as a copywriter for a niche Jewish marketing agency where some of my duties included writing newsletters about Matisyahu and leaving messages on Mike Huckabee’s voicemail. I started sleeping with an old flame while her boyfriend was banging pots and pans together at a musique concréte artist retreat in Switzerland or something, and I feel like I can safely publish this because me and this person live together in a very messy apartment now. The mix I made for them had to encompass these three themes: my big return home, my desire to properly rekindle a romantic connection and last but not least, clandestine sex. Naturally, I included “I Want You Back” by the Jackson 5, “The Boys are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy and “Little Red Corvette’’ by Prince among others.

This point works both ways—if you’re comfortable with this person already and you’re using a mix to strengthen your bond, then it’s helpful to be sort of explicit. On the other hand, if it’s mostly puppy love and you’ve only been on one or two dates, I would steer clear of Prince.

A

Keep an eye on the runtime.

Do not make a mix that is absurdly long—10–15 tracks is reasonable and 20 should be the absolute maximum. The mix should be a demonstration of your feelings in the form of songs you both think are good, not an opportunity to flaunt your familiarity with the pre-amitriptyline Nick Drake oeuvre.

Include at least a couple of horny songs.

Listen, we’re all adults here. A mix ideally runs the gamut of human feeling and one of these feelings is horniness. It shouldn’t be overwhelmingly horny or creepy, but you should probably include at least a couple of songs about sex so this person doesn’t just think you’re courting them to be your rock climbing buddy or something.

Always include “Silver Springs” by Fleetwood Mac and/ or “Hot Burrito #1” by the Flying Burrito Brothers.

Full stop. Either one of these bring the house down each time, and they’re perfect for the penultimate slot. Some people pay thousands of dollars for the wisdom I’m imparting here.

Avoid famously cancelled artists.

I used to not believe it myself, but you can make a perfectly good mix without “Girlfriend” by Michael Jackson. A mix for someone you like is no place to take a stand on the art-versusartist dilemma, regardless of your personal philosophy. It’s a nonessential risk, and worst case scenario, the recipient will think you’re sort of a flippant asshole with a questionable moral compass.

From: Me To: You

SAM GARCIA

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PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

LOVE IN THE TIME OF TUMBLR

HOW I MET MY FIANCÉ THROUGH TRADING MEMES AND BAD POETRY ONLINE

RHIAN BEAM

In 2013, I was a mere 17 years old. I was also an avid Tumblr user, as were many of many of my peers in those days. This was the halcyon era of Doge meme social media—so many Doge memes.

About four months earlier, when I was 16, I had gotten out of a relationship that ended pretty badly. It was a tale as old as time—the guy was in a band and he thought it was more important than me. Also, we simply weren’t mature enough to be in a relationship. So, we had an awkward six months. When our friends said we started to look like one another—we both had shoulder-length black hair and wore band t-shirts and bad cologne—I decided our relationship had gone a little too far. I ended it with him, even though he told everyone that he broke up with me. High school life continued on as if nothing happened, as it’s wont to be.

For me, high school was pretty rough. I was constantly questioning my sexuality, my gender, my neurodivergence and my personality. I felt like I didn’t know what kind of person I was.

Tumblr helped with this. I was able to find fandoms based on media I was interested in and converse with other people on things I couldn’t talk about in school. And, of course, the memes made it hard to stay away.

Enter: the poetry fandom. I stumbled upon the poetry fandom because it related to creative writing, which I loved. At the time, I was in two high school creative writing courses and they were the two classes I cared the most about. Poetry fandom might sound boring—at the risk of sounding pretentious, it is an acquired taste. It appealed to me because it was an outlet; it was a way to convert my angst into something beautiful.

Little did I know, I’d soon become a cliche myself—I’d find love through poetry.

The poems my amoureux-to-be and I wrote were not exactly stellar. He and I agree now that they weren’t even good.

They were depressing and sad, but we were depressed and sad.

Just two depressed teenagers complimenting each others’ depressing poetry.

Back in 2013, Tumblr’s messaging was similar to how Snapchat’s messaging system still is, where your conversation is partly one-sided, and your messages disappear after a while.

“Hi, I saw your poetry,” I messaged him. “I think it’s really nice, you should make more.”

“Oh, thank you,” he replied. “Do you write poetry?”

At the time, I did not. Despite being an active participant in the poetry fandom, actually writing it was not my strong suit.

Thankfully, we realized that wasn’t our only common interest. We both liked Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes. Then, we started sharing memes back and forth. We even made memes for each other. After about a month of messaging, we finally disclosed our ages: He was two years older than me at 19, but had just recently graduated high school later than his classmates.

Knowing that my mom wouldn’t want me dating a boy long distance from Tumblr who was two years older than me, I settled for the next best thing: Skype. We Skyped almost every day. It kind of became obsessive, actually, at one point. We just

wanted to be in the same room, to hug and to kiss. We watched Netflix together by starting and stopping movies at the same time. We even slept together over Skype. Hypothetically, if we had dated through the pandemic, it would have made no difference in our relationship.

We stayed together through my senior year of high school.

He moved states, from Missouri to Colorado, and I went to prom with my best friend while confidentially wishing he could come as my date, instead. After I graduated, we did it again for another year—two full years of long distance dating over Skype. The first time we met in person, he was finally able to visit for a weekend in the summer of 2014. We met in Pioneer Courthouse Square at the Starbucks, under my aunt’s supervision. It was worth it.

When I finally hugged him for the first time, my whole body was shaking. It took us a second to get our bearings, but we talked and stayed attached at the hip the whole weekend, not wanting to let go of each other’s hands. We swam in the pool at his hotel, I showed him all of Portland’s sights and then we went back to his room.

He visited Portland again during Christmas in 2014, and by then our plans had solidified. In 2015, we would move in together. By this point, Tumblr had simply been a jumping-off point. We were still on the platform a lot, but it had become background noise to a relationship that was much larger in our lives than a social media platform. We both worked fulltime at our jobs to save up enough money to move out of both of our parents’ houses. In the fall of 2015, we moved into a studio apartment together. I brought a cat from my mom’s house and we adopted a kitten together.

As for the poetry fandom and Tumblr, neither of us are on the platform anymore, but we’ll never forget the cursed social media site that facilitated our relationship. As for us, well, we’re engaged—with no money to get married. But, at least we’re no longer depressed teenagers with a penchant for bad poetry.

SAM GARCIA

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JORIELLE LIVINGSTON ERIC SHELBY I chose to talk and do a photoshoot with my friend Jorielle Livingston because I, a cis man, have so much to learn from her about being transgender. It was inspiring and powerful to listen to her story.

In an interview after the shoot, Jorielle shared this: “I grew up in Fairbanks, Alaska. Growing up, I did not have any reference point for LGBTQ+ people in media, so it was a foreign concept to understand what being trans was or what that meant.

I came out as trans in my freshman year of high school, and I was lucky to go to a high school that had an accepting environment. I quickly became involved in my high school’s GSA (Gender and Sexuality Alliance) and was the club’s president. In our GSA, with my best friend’s direction, we gave educational presentations to freshman health classes and school-wide staff meetings about respecting transgender students and approaching LGBTQ+ history. I was lucky to have been born in a time and place where being a young trans girl was not an indictment of my personhood or moral character. I have two households that love me, and my close friend group supports me.”

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PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

SEX CLUB CHECK HAVE PORTLAND’S SEX CLUBS CLOSED FOR GOOD? DYLAN JEFFERIES Portland has a lot of sex clubs. There are swingers clubs, there are bathhouses, there are dungeons, and none of them, as they regularly function, are conducive to a COVID-safe environment. While many of them serve alcohol, few have patios, and the redolent wafts of weed and soap that used to emanate from the enclosed patio of Hawks bathhouse on MLK are no more. According to The Velvet Rope’s website, sex clubs did not qualify for grants related to federal COVID-19 relief. So how are the sex clubs? Are they shut down for good?

Whether you’ve been attending sex clubs for years and want to know if your favorite has closed, or if you’re looking for a COVID-safe, sexy event to attend with your boo—or boos— for Valentines day, virtual or in-person, here’s an update on Portland’s many sex clubs.

SWINGERS CLUBS

SANCTUARY CLUB IN DOWNTOWN PORTLAND. DYLAN JEFFERIES/PSU VANGUARD

Sanctuary Open / Hosting events Located downtown near the Portland State campus, Sanctuary is a sex-positive club that welcomes LGBTQ+, poly, swing, kink, POC and all gender identities and relationship configurations.

They host many sexy events, and they’re one of the few clubs making it work this COVID season.

Make sure to check out their detailed COVID-19 restrictions if you’re interested in attending their “game-bang” night on Feb. 18. Restrictions include: Masks required in all common areas, temperature checks prior to entry and no roaming or cruising through the club.

Club Privata Temporarily closed / no events Also located downtown near campus, Club Privata, Portland’s high-end swingers club, is temporarily closed.

Velvet Rope Temporarily closed / no events Portland’s oldest swingers club, located in southeast Portland, is temporarily closed. Towards the beginning of the pandemic they held virtual sex events, and those might return if the club is unable to open in the spring. Until the club reopens, you can read about patrons’ prior sexy experiences at the club on their website.

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BATHHOUSES

Hawks Temporarily closed / no events Hawks, a popular Portland bathhouse known for its weed-friendly patio and gender inclusive “bi-nights,” has shut down its original location due to the pandemic.

According to their website, “Our landlord did not give us any rent concessions through the pandemic and the amount of rent due through July was just too much. This, combined with the pandemic closure, pointed to permanently shutting down the SE Grand location.”

However, the club isn’t gone for good—it’s moving to a new location near Mall 205 in southeast. The club plans to open their new, updated facilities next spring.

Steam Temporarily closed / no events Portland’s oldest and largest bathhouse, Steam, located in northeast Portland, is temporarily closed.

DUNGEONS

Catalyst Temporarily closed / open for private events Portland’s premier sex-positive dungeon is temporarily closed and—according to their GoFundMe page—struggling. However, if you’re looking for some dungeon fun this Valentine’s Day, you can still rent the dungeon. Additionally, the club holds various virtual events.

MISC.

Oregon Theater Permanently closed The Oregon Theater, Portland’s last adult theater, is the only sex club to permanently close amid COVID-19, and it wasn’t because of the pandemic. According to Willamette Week, “The Oregon Theater, an adult entertainment venue along gentrified Southeast Division Street, could not be reached for comment. But documents filed with Multnomah County show the owner, Gayne Maizels, went into foreclosure Feb. 13.”

The new owner intends to renovate the theater, and hopes to show “more family-friendly films” in the near future.

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LOCAL SHOP OFFERS HIGH QUALITY SEX TOYS AND SEX ED THAT’S MISSING ELSEWHERE 16

LOVE & SEX GUIDE

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

SHE BOP. COURTESY OF CULTURE TRIP

PORTLAND’S SHE BOP CREATES POSITIVITY, INCLUSIVITY AND SEX EDUCATION

HANNA ANDERSON Sex is great. We don’t talk about it enough.

Everyone has some relationship with sex, regardless of how— but it’s still so often repressed. Spaces to talk about sex, from sex education and sex toys to sexual identity and orientation, are scattered.

Enter She Bop. If it has to do with sex, you’ll find it there.

She Bop is a local adult boutique that’s operated out of Portland since 2009. It specializes in sex toys, education and a mission: like the 80’s jam they’re named after, to celebrate personal pleasure.

She Bop was opened by Evy Cowan and Jeneen Doumitt, and since its inception, has focused on creating a unique space for sex toys and education that would be welcoming, safe and encourage exploration Amory Jane, or or AJ, is She Bop’s general manager and one of their in-house educators, with a Master’s in psychology specializing in sex therapy and queer studies.

“It was a place where folks could come in if they didn’t feel comfortable going to a traditional shop, where maybe it felt a little seedy or dark,” AJ said. “So there was really a huge need for that, and they saw that need.”

Shortly after, She Bop joined the Progressive Pleasure Club, a collective of small, independent local businesses across the United States that focus on feminist ideals. To be included, shops have to be dedicated to high quality, non-toxic sex toys, offer the important information most sex education forgets to include and be wholeheartedly a sex-positive experience.

Before the pandemic, that work was done in either one of their Portland locations in North or Southeast. Customers who came in could easily ask what information they needed to know. Many toys had floor models, so customers could know exactly what they were buying before they bought it.

Since the pandemic, the store’s operations have all moved online, but still provides a personalized shopping experience with virtual appointments, or through phone calls with customers.

She Bop is a small business, but a local one. An entire section of their online store is dedicated to local products made in Portland. Every Tuesday at She Bop is a 10% Tuesday, where

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

10% of their profits that day are donated to local nonprofits.

“Even though we are part of capitalism...we want to be capitalism with a consciousness, capitalism with heart,” AJ said.

“You know, a new form of capitalism that can actually serve communities and help benefit people, instead of just having the CEOs make a bunch of money, while everybody else is miserable and working for them.”

In addition to the shop’s clean, aesthetic atmosphere, creating a universally comfortable experience had to include inclusivity for everyone.

“We don’t have a lot of imagery around the shop that might be exclusionary or offensive,” AJ explained. “A lot of places, when you go into the traditional adult shop, it’s going to be the same types of Hollywood porn stars that are on all the packaging...We try to find products that use more neutral packaging, like pictures of the actual toy that’s in the package instead of bodies.

We don’t use the additional merchandising that they send us, if it’s super gendered or super heteronormative or seems racist.

So we really try to be very cognizant of what kind of environment we’re creating visually.”

She Bop also features an entire section on their site dedicated to gender expression, selling binders, breast forms, packers and other supplies for trans and nonbinary communities.

And, whenever something is skin-toned, She Bop has a variety of skin tones available.

“We really try to have everyone feel like they’re represented, or that they’re welcome here,” AJ said.

In addition to sex toys, She Bop also offers sex education through events and blog posts.

“We have all sorts of different topics—loving yourself, sexual self touch, roleplay, gender expression, polyamory, you name it,” AJ said. “If it’s a sex or relationship topic, we have either already had a class on it or are trying to get a class on it.”

The events, like all else, have moved online since the COVID-19 pandemic. But the move online has come with a unique opportunity—the new format has allowed She Bop to move from offering three to four classes a month to around seven or eight, according to AJ.

“I personally believe that a good sex education can make the person more well-rounded and more accepting of themselves and others,” AJ explained. “It can decrease shame in our society. It can help build a consent culture. So I think those are important, but also, good sex education can help keep people safe, both emotionally and physically can help bring pleasure, which I think is incredibly important to experience in our lives.”

In the U.S, that sex education is lacking. Sex education in America is a patchwork system of laws that vary by state, and methods that vary still by city and school district. Only 30 states and D.C. require sex ed is taught, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures—and only 22 require the information to be medically or factually accurate.

However, despite its desperate need for improvement, sex education is still incredibly important. It betters relationships with sex and reproduction that many have—no matter how much abstinence-only education would try to convince students otherwise. Abstinence only education doesn’t delay or reduce sex, but hinders knowledge to go into it prepared.

“I think that getting yourself as educated as possible is important, because you can’t rely on the systems to do it,” AJ said.

“Most schools are afraid of being too sex-positive, so a lot of education isn’t going to be as comprehensive or as pleasure focused as many students would really want it to be.”

AJ’s key advice for college students, so many of whom have only ever experienced America’s lackluster sex education: Find that knowledge. Focus on products that are non-toxic and phthalate free, and buy them from authorized retailers; Avoid sites like Ebay and Amazon that, according to AJ, are rife with knock-offs.

“I think a lot of people sometimes just think what we do as selling sex toys, but we really believe that it’s a lot more than that,” AJ said. “When you give somebody a sex toy that maybe gives them their first orgasm that could open up a whole new world of possibilities to them.”

Sex positivity, and good sex education, go beyond the bedroom. They improve people—and when they improve enough people, it improves our society as a whole.

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WHAT THE FUCK IS A V-CARD ANYWAY? Debunking the virginity myth KARISA YUASA Growing up, I was always taught that one day a guy would come along and sweep me off my feet. We’d fall in love, he would take my virginity and I would be a different person.

So you have to imagine my confusion when my first relationship was with a person who also happened to have a vulva. As I lay there in bed, after we had some “us time,” I thought to myself: “So I should probably stop referring to myself as a virgin, right?”

Well, what even is virginity?

Etymologically, the word “virgin” saw its first use around the year 1200 to refer to an “unmarried or chaste woman.” The word did not even start applying to men until the 1400s.

According to Google’s English dictionary, virginity is the state of never having had sexual intercourse. In the first sentence of the Wikipedia page “Sexual intercourse,” it specifies intercourse as involving a penis and vagina.

In 1999, a study found that, while over 99% of people considered vaginal intercourse sex, only approximately 80% considered anal intercouse sex and aproximately 40% said oral sex was sex.

Yes, a lot can change in 22 years, and it has. With the increase of LGBTQ+ representation and acceptance, people’s ideas on sex are changing. But views are still split.

Last year, I had a friend explain to me that, since she didn’t have intercourse, she was still “technically a virgin,” although she had done things that I would argue constitute as sex.

Although satire, a TikTok showed up on my “For You” Page last month with audio from the “Fuck me in the ass cause I love Jesus” video, playing off of the idea that virginity can only be lost through vaginal sex.

This explanation seems simple enough and is what most of us grew up learning, but there seems to be more to it.

According to Planned Parenthood, “a virgin is someone who’s never had sex—but it’s not quite as simple as it seems. That’s because sex means different things to different people, so virginity can mean different things, too.”

“A lot of people think that having penis-in-vagina sex for the first time is how you lose your virginity,” Planned Parenthood states, “but this leaves lots of people and other types of sex out of the picture…there are lesbian, gay, bisexual or pansexual people who may never have penisin-vagina sex at all. But they probably don’t see themselves as lifelong virgins just because they haven’t had penis-in-vagina sex.”

Everyone has a different view on what constitutes as sex—which makes a general definition of virginity difficult.

Why does it even matter?

Short answer: it shouldn’t.

If there can’t be a consensus when it comes to what sex even is, why should virginity carry so much weight in the first place?

Swiping your v-card shouldn’t make you a completely different person as I once thought it would. Virginity isn’t anything to be taken or to be lost—instead, it should allow you to grow and gain new experiences.

Virginity is a social construct and a myth that continues to carry weight in society. If you “lose” your virginity early in life, people will judge you. If you “lose” it late in life, people will judge you. If you never “lose” it, people will judge you.

There’s no winning.

WHY ASEXUAL REPRESENTATION MATTERS What the Netflix series Sex Education did right MARY JOAQUIN From season 2 of Netflix’s Sex Education, “Sex doesn’t make us whole. And so, how could you ever be broken?” This line is perhaps the best asexuality validation yet from modern television.

In the episode, drama student Florence (Mirren Mack) comes to the realization that she doesn’t view sex in the same way as her peers. As her friends try to convince her that she needs to have sex in order to understand the character Juliet—from Romeo and Juliet—she realizes she’s never wanted to have sex. Not only does the entire conversation between Florence and the school’s sex therapist Jean Milburn (Gillian Anderson) resound with the asexual community, it also allows for those who do not yet know about asexuality to understand it.

To more accurately pinpoint what makes the conversation so great, let’s break down the important lines: “I don’t want to have sex,” Florence said.

“I don’t want to have sex at all. Ever, with anyone.”

This is the general feeling aces have.

In its simplest terms, aces are individuals who don’t experience sexual attraction toward anyone and often don’t want to or have a need to have sex.

Ace people often have to hear comments such as “maybe you’re not ready yet” or “you just haven’t felt FARAH ALKAYED

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how good sex is” when asked about their asexuality. The issue that arises from this viewpoint is that aces get labeled as being broken, and therefore need fixing. Until 2013, a lack of sexual desire was even diagnosed as a mental disorder—hypoactive sexual desire disorder—by the American Psychological Association.

“I think I might be broken,” Florence said.

Far too often, ace people may feel broken, as they do not experience the sexual attraction that the majority of people do. They might feel as if they are missing a seemingly vital part of their life.

It becomes increasingly difficult as well in the hyper-sexualized media landscape we are faced with today. People are expected to be into sex—after all, sex sells—and aces just are not.

“It’s sort of like I’m surrounded by a huge feast with everything I could want to eat but I’m not hungry,” Florence said.

While food metaphors are the nearest approximation of having people understand what it is to be asexual, it gives off the notion that sex is a necessity in the same way food is. Humans need to eat to survive, but humans do not need sex to survive.

However, Florence’s line still rings true in a way that aces are content not participating—or more accurately, not experiencing—in the feast that is sex. “Sex just doesn’t do it for some people,” Jean said.

“But I still want to fall in love,” Florence replied.

Florence’s line does two things: first, it introduces the notion that sex and love always go together in a relationship. Second, this mindset has been so ingrained in society that it has led to the belief that if aces forfeit sex, they forfeit love.

Asexuality and aromanticism do not always have to be linked together. Aces can still experience romantic attraction. Both asexuality and aromanticism have spectrums of their own that can better define what exactly they feel is best for their identity.

Asexual characters in popular media most often seem to surface when creators confirm their characters’ identity without being explicit about it in their dialogue. The Shadowhunters series character Raphael Santiago and BoJack Horseman’s Todd Chavez come close to overtly mentioning their asexuality, but Sex Education’s Florence cuts no corners.

Only time will tell how many more ace characters will appear on television to validate other aces out there.

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

LABELS CHANGE, BUT FEELINGS PERSIST A BRIEF HISTORY OF AROMANTICISM

Family Love PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

on Feb.17–23—though it differs slightly in each participating country, it always falls right after Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is the heightened reflection of romantic cultural norms; it emphasizes the “one true love” complex, succinctly coined by aromantic Medium writer Michon Neal in 2016, and dismisses the significance of other types of relationships.

Neal argues it’s not only restrictive, but exclusive—limiting your view and expectations to only romantic love closes off infinite possibilities. As they wrote in a later article, their love “ builds slowly, it has so many layers, it grows exponentially. It is not the sharp blissful, overwhelming love of romance.

It is clear, it is solid, it is full.

Eventually, I stumbled upon the term aromantic and I breathed a sigh of relief.”

It’s fitting that a holiday centered only around romantic love is followed by a celebration of the people who don’t experience it. Take the time on both Valentine’s Day and

Self Love

the week following it to consider what other types of love—platonic, familial, self—mean to you. While you’re considering, if you stumble across something that resonates, keep in mind there is no right or wrong way to be aromantic. Some aromantic people are

a·ro·man·ti·cism /ā'/rō'man(t) ,siz m/ e

Aromanticism as a label is relatively new in its existence—and it was born purely out of the digital age. One writer on the blog AUREA, an online community created by and for aromantic people in 2019, wrote “if it were a person, with a life of its own, it would probably be a Gen Z.” The term was allegedly first coined in 2002 by a user in Yahoo group Haven for the Human Amoeba, one of the first online communities for people who identified as asexual. The user wrote, “I’d have to say that i’m not so much asexual...as averse to having ‘romantic’ relationships...what would be an appropriate term for somebody who is not quite asexual but who dreads the concept of being in a ‘relationship?’ Aromantic (LOL)?”

The term wasn’t picked up in a serious manner until 2005 when it was utilized by the largest online asexual community—Asexual Visibility and Education Network, or AVEN. According to AUREA, some AVEN users utilized the term “asexual-asexual” to denote they did not experience sexual or romantic attraction. Somewhere along the line, potentially lost to a deleted webpage or archived forum, the usage of aromanticism spread to other asexual forums, and led to the creation of aromantic-centered spaces divorced from asexuality such as Aropocalypse and aromantic.lgbt in the 2010s. In 2014, the most recent version of the flag was created, the word was incorporated into the LGBTQ+ acronym and the term gained popularity among both those on the asexual spectrum and those outside it.

Even though aromanticism was termed and communities were formed through existing asexual communities, the two are not the same.

Some asexual people may idenitify as aromantic, and vice versa. The identities can overlap, but they both fall somewhere underneath the

split-attraction model, which was popularized in the 2010s and separates the concept of romantic love from sexual attraction.

Aromanticism as a term might be relatively new, but the recorded absence of romantic attraction is not. In 1979, Dorothy Tennov wrote of limerent and non-limerent people—limerence being an outdated term for feeling romantic attraction. In her book Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love, she theorized romantic and sexual love were not necessarily linked. In 2019, a blogger on AUREA put the pieces together and concluded that the term “non-limerent” was a precursor to the word aromantic. Whether or not this is the case, it served as a precursor to the split-attraction model, and allowed for a greater freedom of expression.

Fragments of aromanticism linger through less recent history, too. The Golden Orchid Society, a group of women in China during the 17th–20th century, is often cited as an example of textual evidence of public lesbian relationships, but it potentially included aromantic people, too. Within the society, women could marry women, but they could also remain unmarried.

Unmarried women wore their hair as married women, and had individual ceremonies to celebrate their choice. We can’t ascribe labels to the women that chose not to marry, but as one volunteer for AUREA wrote, “it’s difficult not to see elements of our identity in their stories.”

Just because aromanticism was only recently coined in the last decade and doesn’t have a long recorded history doesn’t mean aromantic people didn’t exist. We can’t retroactively assign labels to historical figures, but no behavior or identity is unique. Maybe they were given degrading names, like spinsters or loners, or maybe they chose to marry or live with a platonic partner. Either way, traces of aromanticism exist and have existed for centuries.

This year’s aromanticism awareness week falls

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SOPHIE CONCANNON

An orientation in which someone does not experience romantic attraction.

—them.us asexual; some aren’t. Some aromantic people form queerplatonic relationships; some don’t.

Some aromantic people have been in relationships; some haven’t. Aromantic people aren’t a monolith; their experiences span centuries, even if the words for their identity do not.

Friend Love LOVE & SEX GUIDE

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THE BEST COUPLES VIDEO GAMES FOR A VALENTINE’S DAY DATE

6 COZY GAMES TO CUDDLE UP TO BÉLA KURZENHAUSER As Valentine’s Day approaches, many couples are planning the perfect romantic date night with their significant other.

Whether it’s a candlelight dinner in-person or a little bit of Netflix and chill over Zoom, this year has provided a unique challenge for lovebirds all across the country. Some may prefer a simple night of gaming with their partner, and thankfully, there’s a hefty list of great co-op and competitive games for two.

Here are six excellent two-player (or more!) games to cuddle up to this Valentine’s Day. Stardew Valley (PC/Mac/Linux, PS, Xbox, Switch, Android/iOS) Stardew Valley was met with overwhelming appraise when it first launched five years ago and remains a gem to this day. The cozy farming sim takes place in the titular Pacific Northwestinspired valley, and situates the player as a farming newbie who inherits their grandfather’s farm and tidies the plot up after quitting their soul-sucking day job as a corporate lackey.

It’s delightfully charming, beautiful and will engross you with its calming atmosphere and ever-grow-

ing pursuit for economic fruition. You can run a farm with up to four other players, and for a touch of romance, you can even marry one of those same friends in-game after a certain amount of progress (a hopefully suitable replacement for any COVID-delayed wedding ceremonies). The PC, Mac and Linux releases of Stardew Valley were recently just updated with local co-op, but you can play the game online as well on all platforms.

Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime (PC/Mac/Linux, PS, Xbox, Switch) Have you ever wanted to fulfill your childhood Star Trek fantasies and work with others to flawlessly man a space vessel through uncharted territory? If so, Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime is the game you’ve been waiting for ever since you learned that you couldn’t afford a VR headset to play Star Trek: Bridge Crew VR. This bubbly space management sim has up to four players taking various positions on a spaceship moving through the dangerous fringes of space to rescue various animals and defeat deadly creatures. As players can only control one aspect of the ship—like navigation or weaponry—at a time, they’ll have to work together to juggle tasks and prevent their vessel from exploding into deep space. Although Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime only supports local co-op, remote couples can use tools such as Steam Remote Play to stream the game to another player.

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SAM GARCIA

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Portal 2 (PC/Mac/Linux, PS3, Xbox 360) Although Valve’s 2011 smash-hit sequel Portal 2 has been played by nearly everyone and their grandmother at this point, many players have left the arguably much better cooperative campaign untouched. Portal 2’s two-player mode casts both players as the dynamic robotic duo of Peabody and Atlas, two test dummies whose sole existence is to suffer through dozens of brain-scratching chambers. Each chamber has a multitude of mind-bending challenges that will force you to cooperate with your partner to complete puzzles otherwise impossible to complete with only one player. The online co-op campaign is a perfect experience even for beginners to the Portal franchise and is the best couples communication therapy that $10 can buy.

Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes (PC/Mac/Linux, PS, Xbox, Switch, Android) Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes is a tense but exhilarating bomb defusal simulator that places the bomb in one player’s hands and the defusal manual into the other’s. The catch is that the player defusing the bomb can’t read the manual (and vice versa), so success is dependent on a constant stream of effective communication between players. Levels start out challenging albeit accessible, but will escalate to a shouting match over colored wires, phrases, numbers, and convoluted games of Simon Says. With enough practice, dedicated and studious couples will reach a flow of communication unrivaled by any other gaming experience. Because the defusal manual is available for free online as a printable PDF, only one player needs to own the game, making this a perfect fit for remote and inperson dates.

Overcooked 2 (PC/Mac/Linux, PS, Xbox, Switch) Overcooked 2 is the final gauntlet of couples gaming, putting every fiber of your relationship to the test with extraordinarily challenging levels that rely on elite cooperation and team management. This co-op cooking simulator puts up to four online or local players into unwieldy kitchen layouts, forcing them to work together to cope with incoming orders from hungry customers. Contestants will have to seamlessly weave between cooking, serving, and dishwashing all while the heat in the kitchen continues to grow. Overcooked 2 is certainly not for any but the most veteran of gaming couples but makes for an exciting, anticipating challenge that will have you shouting at the TV while on the edge of your seat. Success is triumphant and satisfying, but failure will likely leave someone sleeping on the couch.

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Switch) Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is the only game on this list that pits you and your partner against each other, duking it out over red shells and banana peels as you race across eye-popping circuits to a heart-racingly groovy soundtrack. The Mario Kart franchise’s success can easily be attributed to its accessibility to non-gamer audiences, with intuitive motion controls and pure fun factor accelerating the series to mainstream success since Mario Kart for the Wii. Anyone can pick up a controller and hop into the action immediately despite having no former expertise with kart racers or video games at all. Although Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is a great way to ruin your friendships with last-minute steals and perfectly-timed blue shells, it’s also a wonderful way to develop fond memories with friends, such as that one time you made your partner so mad that they said they would never play Mario Kart with you again. ‌

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

UP HERE, DOWN THERE: EXPLORING TRANS SEX RHIAN BEAM Trans sex is a topic that many seem to avoid in conversation because it includes talking about not only sex and how to have it, but also the many variables that come along with trans sex such as dysphoria, hormones, sexuality, gender, presentation, toys and, of course, communication.

It might sound daunting, but transgender sex isn’t different from cisgender sex in that you will need consent, good communication and a safe word. Trans sex just adds a few nuances unique to trans people and even cis, lesbian, gay, bi or pan folks as well.

Let’s start with partners. Trans sex can look like many different kinds of couples. Trans sex can include two nonbinary individuals, one trans woman and one trans man, two trans men, two trans women, even a cisgender person or a trans person and a nonbinary person—there are so many possibilities. Gender identity can be unique and personal; ideally a partner understands this themselves and about their partner. Sexuality can also be unique and the common understanding between yourself and your partner about each other’s sexualities, even if you’re questioning, should be taken into account in partner communication.

Trans folks have a tricky line to walk when it comes to their bodies and the way that society sees them. Some have dysphoria surrounding their genitals, chest or other body insecure areas. Some have gotten surgeries like top or bottom surgery to feel more at home in their bodies. Hormones are also used by those who want to modify their body in a way that gives them bodily characteristics that they didn’t have before such as facial hair or breasts. Some trans people also have social dysphoria, feeling very uncomfortable with how society sees them. Dysphoria can range widely with all sorts of trans folks from severe, to mild to not at all.

Some trans folks only feel gender euphoria in certain gender-affirming situations and that is how they realize that they are trans. During sex, these body lines don’t have to be walked alone.

Communicate with your partner about the type of dysphoria they have, if any. Make sure you aren’t touching anywhere that will make them feel dysphoric about their body and, again, consent is key. Ask them throughout whether they like what you are doing and whether it feels good.

If it doesn’t, stop and talk through what would feel good. These are vulnerable conversations, but they can pay off in the long run when your partner is potentially feeling bliss later on.

BDSM AND TOYS

LGBTQ+ folks have a long history of participating in BDSM—bondage, domination, sadism and masochism. Not all trans people participate, of course, don’t go assuming that your partner

likes bondage—please communicate with them.

One constant that is used throughout BDSM is the use of sex “toys,” or tools used for pleasure. Most people probably have at least one toy at their home for masturbation, but they are extremely useful with partners. In BDSM, common toys include fuzzy handcuffs (for beginners), restraints, whips and a variety of vibrators, dildos and cock rings, just to name a few—and I mean a few. BDSM tools and toys are so vast and varied, a whole essay wouldn’t cover it.

You can find many of these kind of toys at Portland’s trans-friendly and feminist sex shop She Bop, where you can also find many other tools and guides for LGBTQ+ sex.

Again, never assume your partner is involved in BDSM. If you want to try BDSM with a trans partner, make sure that they fully consent, because it can be an awkward process starting out.

However, once they are into the scene, they might never want to leave. From personal experience, it gives a sense of liberation and freedom in your body, gender and sexuality.

GENDER PRESENTATIONS AND SAFE WORDS

A few last topics to touch on with trans sex is gender presentation and a safe word. Gender presentation doesn’t dictate someone’s gender. If they are femme-presenting, they can still be nonbinary. Same as if they are masculine-presenting, they can still be a woman. Gender is innate, while presentation is outward and can look different than stereotypes. Always make sure to respect your partner and gender them correctly. If you don’t know their exact gender, ask. And if they don’t know yet, that’s okay. Use what works for now and check in with them again later on.

Lastly, safe words. Make sure you have one.

They can feel silly and unimportant, but they are necessary. They should be simple and easy to remember, such as “blue” or “grape.” Words like “stop,” “please” or “no” shouldn’t be used as safe words because they can be connotated with pleasure in certain sensual situations. However, you should talk about these with your partner beforehand, and make sure that they know that no means no before starting any sexual touch.

Overall, just check in with one another.

Cisgender sex should be this way too, but with transgender sex it is extra important. As long as partners are treating one another with utmost respect and care, then trans sex can be easy and fun.

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

SHANNON STEED

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VALENTINE’S DAY CAN BE SHITTY FOR QUEER COUPLES

FOR MANY, THE HOLIDAY IS MERELY A COLLECTION OF PAINFUL REMINDERS

ZOE VANDAL Valentine’s Day tends to garner a reaction like no other holiday. Whether it’s excitement about the opportunity to remind your significant other how much they mean to you, or feelings of loneliness and anger, everyone has an opinion.

As Valentine’s Day falls into the category of “holidays you still have to go to school for,” its history isn’t exactly common knowledge. The holiday’s origins are blurry, but a 2011 article from NPR offers one possible account: At the feast of Lupercalia, Roman men would kill a goat and a dog, then proceed to hit women with the dead animals’ hides, which “they believed would make [the women] fertile.” While this tradition has thankfully not withstood the test of time, it highlights a rather dark aspect of a holiday that is today generally considered innocuous at best and materialistic at worst.

Valentine’s Day has obviously deviated from its origins, but the hard fact is it hasn’t evolved to be completely inclusive in practice. Hanging over the holiday is a heteronormative pall which encourages public displays of affection, cheesy gifts and dinner dates. These activities often exclude LGBTQ+ couples in subtle and insidious ways.

Walking down the card aisle at a CVS around Valentine’s Day can be an exhausting affair for queer people looking to celebrate the day with their significant other. A majority of the cards are saturated with inherently heterosexual language. Rarely will there be a card that contains rhetoric pertinent to queer couples. This forces the customer to either choose a card that is general enough to get the point across, or to simply skip the Hallmark stuff entirely.

Another extremely popular way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is to go out for a romantic and often expensive dinner date. Restaurants will typically capitalize on this tradition by advertising Valentine’s Day specials—maybe by offering a small discount or a free dessert for couples. But, the concept of romantic dinner dates is somewhat inaccessible to queer couples. While the general public’s perception of the LGBTQ+ community isn’t as hostile as it once was, the awkward scenario of being called friends or siblings by a server who made the wrong assumption is enough to discourage a couple from going out.

That might only be the first hurdle in a series, however; public displays of affection between queer couples can be met by judgmental stares and silently disgusted expressions. Not only that, but in many parts of the world, it is still dangerous to be openly queer. In fact, an NBC News report from 2019 stated almost 19% of hate crimes committed are motivated by anti-LGBTQ+ ideologies.

These Valentine’s Day traditions exclude queer couples, but that fact doesn’t stop straight couples from taking advantage of the day. As a result, LGBTQ+ people may feel animosity toward the holiday due to double standards. Straight couples can go on dinner dates and be unafraid to make out in public every day of the year. Valentine’s Day, for many, can be an unwelcome reminder of the hardships queer people face in today’s society. As the world progresses and becomes more accepting, LGBTQ+ people continue to fight for a seat at the table.

Valentine’s Day supposedly began as a barbaric—and frankly delusional—way to celebrate fertility and good health in ancient Rome, and has since evolved into a so-called Hallmark holiday that mostly encourages straight couples to celebrate their straight love. On the surface, exclusionary cards from the supermarket and the awkward moment of telling the Olive Garden server that your date isn’t your sister so that you can get the Valentine’s Day couple discount may only seem like minor inconveniences. In reality, these moments demonstrate the deep-seated heteronormativity that continues to permeate our superficial, fundamentally conservative culture.

Maybe it’s time for Valentine’s Day to evolve again.

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SHANNON STEED

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

THE WACKIEST BREAKUPS IN SEINFELD

BLUNDERS THAT WILL MAKE EVEN YOU LOOK GOOD

SEINFELD TELEVISION SERIES. COURTESY OF HULU NICK TOWNSEND Believe it or not, not all relationships survive Valentine’s Day. Sometimes, the pressure of the supposed most romantic day of the year is too great. Sometimes, it’s just not a good fit. If your relationship ends in tragedy this year, why not contextualize your breakup with some of the worst breakups in television history—the Seinfeld breakups.

All good things must come to an end, sometimes in a catastrophically hilarious way. Such is the case on many episodes of Seinfeld. The “show about nothing” ran from 1989–99 and produced 180 episodes. By some estimates, Jerry dated 66 women, Elaine dated 56 men and George dated 47 women. Kramer got in his fair share, too. All four deeply-flawed protagonists ended relationships for silly, petty reasons, perhaps none as petty as when Jerry breaks up with a woman for eating peas the wrong way: one at a time. But the truly provoking, deeply wacky breakups on Seinfeld are not just petty. They are disasters that twist multiple plotlines together and break them over the head of some poor suitor. Your relationship will look fine by comparison.

Number 5: Jane in “The Hamptons”

In perhaps George’s most iconic breakup, the gang heads to the Hamptons to get some sun. While George is out shopping for groceries, his girlfriend, Jane, sunbathes topless and is spotted

by Jerry. George, being the man he is, demands to see Jerry’s girlfriend topless for the sake of fairness. Instead, Jerry’s girlfriend happens to catch George changing after coming out of the very cold pool, prompting George to utter the line that men across the country still rely on to this day: “There was shrinkage!” She immediately tells George’s girlfriend, prompting her to leave wordlessly in the middle of the night. This episode contains about five different plotlines, with some characters involved in several different plotlines at the same time, so it’s easy to lose the thread. What makes this breakup so satisfying is the way George’s actions immediately backfire on him. This is a frequent occurrence on Seinfeld, but it plays particularly well in an episode where other characters are engaged in more sophisticated buffoonery.

Number 4: Dolores in “The Junior Mint”

Most of Jerry’s breakups are partly his choosing as the neatfreak, germaphobe character often breaks off relationships for silly, trivial reasons. In most episodes, George is the one backing himself into a particularly stupid corner. But in “The Junior Mint,” Jerry finds himself in a dumb puzzle of his own design; he has forgotten the name of the woman he is seeing. His only hint? Her name rhymes with “a part of the female anatomy.”

The bulk of the episode is spent saying names like Aretha, Bovary and Gipple. At the end, the girlfriend presses Jerry to say her name. Jerry guesses Mulva, and she storms out right as he remembers that it is actually Dolores. This sequence plays well in the context of Jerry’s serial dating habit, and also is kind of a fun wink at the audience—because remembering the name of Jerry’s girlfriend of the week is always impossible.

Number 3: Billy in “The Sponge”

Perhaps Elaine’s most iconic episode, “The Sponge” centers around Elaine’s preferred method of birth control going offmarket. After scrambling for a bit, she’s able to buy a case from a grocer. Realizing that her supply is limited, she begins to con-

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

sider whether her current boyfriend Billy is “Sponge-worthy.”

The phrase has become a euphemism for sexual worthiness and entered the popular consciousness alongside many other Seinfeld-isms. Eventually Billy is deemed Sponge-worthy, but only after trimming his sideburns. Technically there’s no onscreen breakup; but Billy isn’t seen after this episode—apparently his worthiness didn’t last for long.

Number 2: Sidra in “The Implant”

A common theme in Jerry’s romantic life is his general oafishness and ignorance in the face of his girlfriends. This is exemplified in “The Implant,” where Elaine convinces Jerry that his girlfriend, Sidra, has breast implants. Rather than communicate openly and ask her if that’s the case, he cancels his next date with Sidra and asks Elaine to spy on her at the gym’s sauna.

Elaine “trips” in the sauna, landing directly on her breasts and becomes convinced that they’re real. Sidra later sees Elaine and Jerry together and correctly judges that Elaine was doing spywork for Jerry. She breaks it off, announcing, “They’re real, and they’re spectacular.” This episode is a classic example of all the protagonists beings squarely in the wrong and learning nothing from it.

Number 1: Meryl in “The Wife”

A pre-Friends Courtney Cox plays the girlfriend in this episode to great effect. When Jerry accidentally does a big favor for the owner of his laundromat, he is gifted discounted dry-cleaning for life. Jerry quickly capitalizes on this by pretending that his new girlfriend Meryl is his wife, earning her the discount as well. Antics ensue when the couple must feign greater and greater degrees of intimacy and Jerry becomes attached to saying the phrase “my wife” (this was before Borat.) Eventually, another woman catches Jerry’s eye and he tries to give her the discount as well. His girlfriend discovers this when another woman’s garments start showing up in her dry-cleaning pickups. This is a classic case of no woman, not even Courtney Cox, being good enough for Jerry for longer than a week. Ultimately, this breakup is made wacky by the way a silly and short relationship is blown up into a high-stakes, extramarital scandal over a laundromat discount. It just works, people!

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T, N TE N CO E ATND Y EX BSIT M A AM S RE WE D.CO AGR O M UR AR NST R O FO SIT NGU UR I RD VI UVA W O GUA PS LLO VAN FO PSU @

THE BEST SCIENCE STORIES OF 2020

A YEAR OF INNOVATION AND TRIUMPH IN THE FACE OF TRAGEDY

A SPACEX FALCON9 ROCKET, WITH THE CREW DRAGON CAPSULE ATTACHED. CHRIS O'MEARA/AP PHOTO BÉLA KURZENHAUSER 2020 was a busy year for the world and an even busier year for the scientific community. The COVID-19 pandemic changed life as we know it while another pandemic of distrust and misinformation plagued society alongside it. Amidst all of this, plenty of unrelated scientific and technological accomplishments were made, some of which will shape the future of humanity in the coming years and decades. Here are some of the other biggest scientific stories of the last year.

This past year was one of great strides for climate science, with research and activism against a backdrop of devastation. Bushfires ravaged Australia for almost a year between 2019–20, peaking in January of last year and representing the worst ecological crisis in the history of the country. Nearly three billion animals were killed or displaced, according to a report by WWF Australia, and over 100 animal and plant species were pushed close to extinction. As of Jan. 12, 2020, the fires output an estimated 400 million tons of carbon—an unprecedented amount that is over two-thirds of Australia’s yearly emissions, according to NPR. The West Coast of the United States suffered similarly devastating wildfires later in the year, threatening species like the pygmy rabbit and northern spotted owl and burning more than five million acres across Oregon, California and Washington.

President Joe Biden announced an aggressive plan for tackling climate change. Climate change, clean energy and the COVID-19 pandemic were all hot topics in the 2020 U.S. presidential election.

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

Scientific journals such as Scientific American, Nature and The New England Journal of Medicine criticized the U.S.’s COVID-19 pandemic response, with some officially endorsing Biden’s campaign—a first in the 175-year history of Scientific American.

Cancer research also made great strides in 2020, with new experimental treatments paving the way to a cancer-free future and cancer death rates continuously decreasing. Last June, researchers from the National Cancer Institute (NCI) published their findings on a new testing approach that used artificial intelligence to greatly improve the accuracy and efficiency of cervical cancer screening. A month later, international researchers reported on a new experimental blood test developed for detecting some forms of cancer up to four years before symptoms appear, with a 90% success rate. Outside of new testing methods, Australian researchers at the Harry Perkins Institute of Medical Research found honeybee venom to be a possible supplementary treatment and one of the first promising treatment methods for triple-negative breast cancer.

Last summer, the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke (NINDS) found that astrocyte brain cells are capable of harboring and spreading HIV throughout the body. According to Dr. Jeymohan Joseph, chief of the HIV Neuropathogenesis, Genetics, and Therapeutics Branch at the National Institute of Mental Health, the “new HIV cures need to address the role of the central nervous system.” More optimistically, an August report by Nature found that some rare people, nicknamed “elite controllers,”

are able to cure themselves of HIV without additional treatment.

2020 was also a landmark year for space with SpaceX further carving out its reputation within the aerospace industry. On May 30, NASA and SpaceX’s Crew Dragon spacecraft shuttled two astronauts to the International Space Station as part of NASA’s Commercial Crew Program. The launch was the first time that astronauts had been launched to orbit from the U.S. since the final Space Shuttle mission in 2011, as well as the first time astronauts had entered orbit on a commercial rocket. SpaceX also faced criticism over their global broadband Starlink satellites, which have polluted the night sky due to their reflective surfaces.

In July, NASA launched its Perseverance rover, set to land on Mars later this February. Perseverance is the first Mars rover built by NASA since 2011’s Curiosity and will land at the same time as the Chinese National Space Administration’s (CNSA) rover Tianwen-1. NASA also found definitive proof that water exists on the Moon, leading researchers to question the conditions under which water can exist.

Finally, astronomers continued to investigate J2157, the universe’s largest supermassive black hole that is 34 billion times larger than the sun and chows down a sun’s worth of matter every day.

Despite all of the misery that was brought along by 2020, the future of science remains optimistic. New experimental treatments for previously-untreatable illnesses are being developed as humanity ventures further out into the unknown in search of new horizons and knowledge. We can only hope that 2021 will be a brighter year for science and the world. ‌

GUIDE

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IT’S GOOD TO BE A DOG IN MORGAN TROPER

PORTLAND

Portland is a great place to be a dog, even during the pandemic. One of the greatest things about this city is simply how much nature surrounds us—the greater metropolitan area boasts a wealth of parks and swimming holes. And sure, it rains a lot, but that’s ultimately a small price to pay.

Portland has consistently ranked high in lists of the best cities to raise or own a dog. The website dogtime.

LILLIAN SKELTON PLAYS WITH HER DOG COOPER, A MINIATURE LABRADOODLE, AT GRANT PARK com even ranked Portland ON SE 82ND. SOFIE GRANT/PSU VANGUARD first on its list of the “10 DogFriendliest Cities in America,” Grant Park ahead of notable dog havens such as Seattle, NE 33rd Avenue and US Grant Place Boston, Tucson and Albuquerque. While that The off-leash area at Grant Park—the greenery admay seem like a pretty arbitrary survey, Portland’s jacent to Portland’s Grant High School—is sort of placement on these lists is supported by hard, a secret handshake among the city’s seasoned dog cold data—we have 33 officially-designated off- owners. It’s not actually visible from the main enleash dog parks, which is more per capita than any trance to the park on NE 33rd, and you have to trek other city in America. We are one of the only cit- a bit past the track, tennis courts, playground and ies outside France—and certainly one of the only iconic Ramona Cleary statue to get there. Grant’s cities in America—where dogs are allowed inside off-leash area is nestled inside the center of the park, restaurants and some bars, a fact some Portland toward the less obvious east entrance and basketball dog owners take for granted. courts. I’ve found it’s ideal for puppies and runners Speaking anecdotally, Portland also has one who otherwise aren’t familiar with basic “come” of the most diverse and inclusive dog commu- commands yet. Its location near the Grant football nities of any American city I’ve spent any rea- field means there’s a lot of open space, and thanksonable amount of time in; people aren’t quick fully, the street next to the east entrance to the park to judge you for owning a pitbull here, and peak is pretty quiet, so if your dog does run off it at least hours at some of Portland’s more prominent won’t be near a busy street. Moreover, the specific dog parks really do feel and look like Best in breed meetups at this park attract some wonderShow. Here are some of my personal favorites. ful and unusual dogs.

TWO PUPS PLAYING AT ALAMEDA. SEAN BASCOM/PSU VANGUARD

FOUR DOGS CHASING BALLS AT WASHINGTON HIGH SCHOOL PARK. SEAN BASCOM/PSU VANGUARD

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Laurelhurst Park SE Cesar E Chavez Boulevard and Stark Street It makes sense that Laurelhurst Park—the landmark public park of Portland’s east side—is also home to one of the greatest off-leash dog parks in the city. The off-leash areas of the park are clearly demarcated, and while it can be a bit muddy during Portland’s wetter seasons, its colorful array of breeds is matched only by the dogs at Grant. Some other minor drawbacks: bicycle paths surround the off-leash area, which means it’s pretty much necessary your dog be familiar with basic commands.

Additionally, I’ve had a dog who wasn’t under command jump into the duck pond before, and it was absolutely disgusting.

A PERSON HOLDS THEIR DOG AT LAURELHURST PARK. ERIC SHELBY/PSU VANGUARD

Alameda Elementary School Park 2732 NE Fremont Street The park next to Alameda Elementary School leaves a bit to be desired in the open space department, but it’s a great alternative to any of the larger, woodsier dog parks on rainy days. In general, the cement and sawdust at this park make things a lot less muddy—I have two long-haired breeds, so that’s definitely significant for me. It’s good etiquette to go after school hours or on the weekends so you don’t disturb anyone from the neighboring elementary school.

Washington High School Park 1300 SE Stark Street Washington High School—which now houses the Portland music venue, Revolution Hall—used to be one of the creepiest buildings in town. The school officially closed in 1981 and was left in a quasi-dilapidated state for decades prior to its renovation at the start of the ‘10s. That said, the park next to Washington High School has always been tops—it’s huge, usually well-attended and incredibly flat— which is perfect because it means you never lose sight of your dog. It’s the ideal spot for frisbee and other recall games; it’s still a little spooky for jumpy, untrained or very young dogs, since the entire park is encircled by busy thoroughfares.

DOG BEING WALKED ON A LEASH AT FOREST PARK. COURTESY OF FOREST PARK Forest Park Not a dog park per se—and leash laws are strictly enforced on trails where dogs are allowed, with fines of up to $200 being doled out to violators—but the gorgeous trails at Forest Park, the lush jewel behind downtown, is one of the best parts of Portland. For larger breeds like retrievers, it’s also a great exercise opportunity. Obviously, a hike at Forest Park is not ideal if you’re looking for dog socialization, but it’s sure to get the blood pumping and that night they’ll sleep for like 14 hours.

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

CLASSICAL GAS

ERIC SATIE. COURTESY OF WIKIPEDIA COMMONS MORGAN TROPER

When I was a kid, I thought that the only people who listened to classical music were either very old or pretentious. I associated classical with the mellifluous if entirely inoffensive sounds of Mozart and Beethoven—composers whose work evokes crashing waves, gorgeous sunsets, aristocratic tea parties, and the ringtone on your grandparents’ landline. To my immature palette, it always just seemed like simple music masquerading as high-brow and emotionally complex.

This started to change when I was in high school. I became friends with someone whose actual name I won’t print but whose initials were “J.S.B.”—the same as Johann Sebastian Bach’s, a coincidence he absolutely relished. That’s because he was obsessed with Bach and specifically Glenn Gould—the renegade Bach interpreter who came under fire from the old guard for humming along to the piano on his recordings. J.S.B. owned two pianos and there was a bronze bust of Bach’s head on one of them. He is still one of the greatest musicians I’ve ever known, and he was only 16 years old. He did those initials justice.

Through this friend I developed a newfound appreciation for classical music. I gravitated toward Bach and other Baroque composers the most, because that was usually the type of classical he put on burnt CDs for me. During my senior year of high school, I became more interested in progressive rock and other athletic forms of music and requested a crash course

in experimental classical from the late 19th and early 20th centuries, since I knew this era of the genre was a touchstone for classic prog bands like Yes and King Crimson. He gave me a mix featuring pieces by Igor Stravinsky, Philip Glass, Arnold Shoenberg, Erik Satie, John Cage, Karlheinz Stockhausen and more. In my pursuit of a certain elusive aural fucked-up-ness, I was getting into harsher and harsher music. I finally found it in the form of experimental classical.

I am no longer a kid. I am now very old—29—and pretentious. When I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom I feel like I’m wearing sandbags, and when I perform a physical task as menial as reaching over my shoulder to grab the seat belt I feel as if my back is being crushed by a bronze bust of Bach’s head. True to my nature, I have sold most of my indie rock albums for a modest collection of video game soundtracks and classical records. Like Larry David I have come to loathe the timbre of the human voice—I’m trying to get back in touch with my high school roots as a tireless seeker of fucked-up music.

One of the aforementioned composers— French composer Erik Satie—is perhaps more deranged than the rest. You’re probably familiar with his gorgeous and comparatively conventional “Gymnopédie No. 1,” but that’s not all there is to Satie.

My partner is a big Satie-head, so we listen to a lot of furniture music, or musique d’ameublement, around the house. In fact, she was the person who turned me onto proper furniture music. Sometimes you’ll see art critics

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

CELEBRATING 119 YEARS OF ERIK SATIE’S FURNITURE MUSIC

use the term “wallpaper” pejoratively—this likely has its origins in the term furniture music.

But what is furniture music, you ask? In essence, it’s the music you hear in the elevator or in the doctor’s office waiting room. Satie’s furniture music, specifically, was a prototype of sorts to lounge or Muzak—it’s music designed for passive consumption that requires absolutely no cognitive engagement from the audience in order to be appreciated. In fact, cognitive engagement is explicitly discouraged.

The more you pay attention to furniture music, the creepier it becomes. It is repetitive, minimalist and punctuated by tiny moments of dissonance. It’s the soundtrack to waking up from a dream within a dream for eternity. And I am obsessed with it.

I’m usually against conflating aspects of an artist’s personal life and their art, but a little bit of background on Satie’s eccentricities really does seem necessary here. He hoarded umbrellas and carried a hammer with him wherever he went; he loved moldy fruit and boiled wine; he founded his own religion; his performance piece Parade—which featured contributions from Pablo Picasso and Jean Cocteau—started a riot and resulted in his imprisonment.

Like most of the canonical European modernists whose artistic naiveté was destroyed in the first world war, Satie had a real philosophical agenda that he attempted to incorporate into his art. This is perhaps why he didn’t even identify as a composer or musician—he claimed he was a “phonometrographer” which, in typical Satie fashion, is basically meaningless and is

at most synonymous with the terms musician and composer. When Satie premiered furniture music at a Paris art gallery in 1902, he begged prospective audience members not to come; during other performances, he supposedly berated the audience for “listening” to the music being performed. Again, according to the tenets of furniture music, listening wasn’t the point.

Despite Satie’s arbitrariness, a lot of his furniture music holds up on its own, even divorced from its high art underpinnings. It is often creepy and funny, sometimes gorgeous, and always maddeningly repetitive. It’s unique for extreme music in that it’s gradually taxing— it’s the musical equivalent of physical exercise.

But when you do consider its deep, philosophical underpinnings, Satie’s furniture music seems more profound and prophetic than ever. We live in an era when furniture music has a financial stranglehold on the music industry in the form of official Spotify playlists curated by a cabal of superficial AIs. It’s the future that Satie anticipated, but probably not the one he desired in earnest. Anyone who’s ever listened to a Spotify playlist can tell you how languid and aseptic the music usually is—it’s like Satie’s furniture music only without the humor, critical self-reflection, chops, or aesthetic sensitivity.

Spotify’s playlists are overwhelmingly tailored to environments and scenarios that do not call for challenging art whatsoever—coffee shop studying, late night chilling, drives to the beach.

It’s merely wallpaper and no one ever has to be reminded not to listen.

ARTS & CULTURE

27

CONGRESS DOESN’T CONOR CARROLL

WORK FOR YOU

FROM BLATANT CORRUPTION TO FAILED COVID-19 RELIEF, IT’S CLEAR CONGRESS ONLY WORKS FOR THE 1% ABOVE: CONGRESS MEMBERS ON CAPITOL HILL. ANDREW HARNIK/AP PHOTO

28

OPINION

The United States Congress is one of the most universally despised institutions in the U.S. According to a 2021 Gallup poll, Congress’ approval rating is a dismal 25%, and in December 2020, it was 15%. Needless to say, it sucks. Unless you are in the 1% of top earners in the country or you’re part of the upper class, Congress doesn’t work for you.

A recent report showed since the pandemic began, the 1% has seen an increase in wealth by 400%—over one trillion dollars. Americans as a whole lost over a trillion in purchasing power during this same period of time.

Congress consistently capitulates to the wealthiest Americans, especially their donors—for example, Ted Cruz, the fiscally conservative senator representing Texas, helped to manipulate the CARES Act aid program to get $35 million for Dan and Farris Wilks, a pair of Texas billionaire fracking brothers and major Cruz contributors.

The Wall Street Journal reported according to corporate records, the Wilks brothers collected the windfall even though their businesses were busy buying stakes in six other fracking companies. Clearly, they needed the funds.

This kind of corruption is not unique. Records show that days before being elected to represent Colorado’s 3rd District in Congress, Rep. Lauren Boebert paid off the last of nearly $20,000 in state tax liens that had accumulated on her restaurant since 2016.

Between August 2016–February 2020, Shooters Grill, the gun-themed restaurant Boebert owns, amassed eight liens for “nonpayment of unemployment insurance premiums,” according to records from the Garfield County Clerk and Recorder’s office.

In a congressional financial disclosure statement Boebert filed as a candidate in January 2020, she reported Shooters Grill had posted a net operating loss of $242,347 in 2018. Boebert also disclosed liabilities that included a “business loan” valued at between $15,000–50,000.

In May 2020, public health officials in Garfield County revoked Shooters Grill’s license after Boebert repeatedly opened the restaurant for in-person dining in defiance of state and local coronavirus restrictions. The license was reinstated two weeks later, and Shooters Grill was allowed to reopen under the condition that it followed

certain restrictions, including operating at 50% capacity.

Boebert’s campaign finances came under scrutiny this week when The Denver Post reported on reimbursements she made to herself, first cited by Colorado Polls, to cover certain travel costs when she was a candidate. Her campaign finance disclosures to the Federal Election Commission indicate she claimed “mileage” reimbursements of $1,059.62, reported on March 31, and $21,199.52, reported on Nov. 11.

Is it a coincidence that the amount she reimbursed herself late last year nearly matches what she owed on her restaurant? I don’t think so. This is yet another example of the blatant corruption members of Congress (or Congressional candidates) engage in all the time.

Despite all of this, she remains on Congressional committees, making laws that affect the entire nation.

Members of Congress are paid nearly $200,000 a year, paid with taxpayer money, while making decisions about how to spend that same money. Do they spend it to benefit ordinary people? No. Consider the COVID-19 stimulus package from December. Congress waited all the way until the end of the year to pass another relief package, this time with only $600 checks—sent out based on 2019 income!—and only $300 a week in extra unemployment benefits, after the CARES Act guaranteed $1,200 direct payments and $600 a week unemployment back in March! Does it make any sense at all for Congress to wait nine months to pass another relief package, only to cut its benefits in half? Would a Congress that truly cared about working people write that kind of bill?

All of this happened at a time when people were literally starving across the country. Feeding America’s 181 food banks distributed nearly 57% more food in the third quarter of 2020 than the year before. They saw an overall 60% increase in food bank users during the pandemic, 40% of which were first-timers. People in this country were in need, and all Congress could muster was a meager $600 check and half the unemployment payments in March?

This all illustrates a bigger picture, whether it’s Ted Cruz’s blatant corruption, Lauren Boebert’s manipulation of campaign finances or Congress’ shockingly lowball December relief bill. Congress doesn’t work for you. It never has.

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

THE VIRTUES OF

MIN-MAXING A SET OF DICE USED WHEN PLAYING DUNGEONS & DRAGONS. NICK GATLIN/PSU VANGUARD

HOW CRUNCHING THE NUMBERS CAN MAKE ROLE-PLAYING BETTER NICK GATLIN If you’ve played any kind of role-playing game, whether it be a tabletop RPG such as Dungeons & Dragons or a video game like Fallout: New Vegas, you’ve probably come across many tropes of the genre—role-playing being chief among them. The most important element of an RPG, in my opinion, is your success at playing your character’s role; how well you can put yourself in their shoes, immerse yourself in the game’s universe and feel like you really are your character.

When many people think of role-playing, they likely think of their character’s mannerisms: how do they think, speak and relate to the world around them? But just as important as their mannerisms, I think, are your character’s mechanics. How hard do they hit their enemies? What spells do they use, if they use them at all? How agile are they? These are all essential elements of a character that cannot be dismissed as simple numbers on a character sheet or tick marks on a skill tree.

That brings us to a topic of fervent debate in the RPG world: min-maxing. According to Urban Dictionary—an unimpeachable source of knowledge—min-maxing “refers to the act of designing a character in such a way that one minimizes its weaknesses and maximizes its strengths.” This description, taken to its extremes, can obviously get pretty ridiculous. Many have voiced their frustration at this strategy, like an article from the D&D site Dungeon Solvers that teaches you “How to Play D&D…with a Min-Maxer,” or one YouTube video I found with the simple title, “Min-Maxing Sucks!” One Reddit user by

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

the name of u/DantesInporno even lamented about their addiction to min-maxing, posting “Min-Maxing is ruining every game I play,” saying it “prevents me from enjoying the game a lot of the time.”

So is min-maxing just a tool for power-gamers to make their characters overpowered, ruining the game for themselves and everyone else? Not necessarily. Even though it can be a difficult balancing act to pull off, I think min-maxing can actually enhance the gaming experience for everyone involved. Minmaxing, contrary to popular opinion, can make your role-playing better, not worse.

Here’s an example: let’s say you’re playing a wizard in a game like D&D. You pump all of your ability points into Intelligence to get it as high as possible, cutting everything else to its minimum possible value. You only learn spells that do as much damage as possible, and chain your spell effects and class features to inflict ungodly amounts of pain on every enemy. Won’t that make the game worse for everyone else, if every combat encounter is finished in 20 seconds by the wizard casting Fireball four times in a round?

Now imagine that same character is a scheming, calculating master of the arcane. Imagine they learned at a young age that bullies only respond to force, and their physical strength wasn’t going to get them anywhere. Imagine that person grew up to be a cunning and cruel spellcaster who decided to end every battle with unflinching, overwhelming force—determined

to never again humiliate themselves in a fight like they did so many years ago. Well, that sounds like a case of character backstory-mechanics synergy to me.

Of course, this approach can go overboard. “I think it really depends on who you’re playing with,” said Nick Townsend, managing editor for Portland State Vanguard and avid D&D player, on min-maxing. “Because [it’s] not fun if everyone in the party is doing twice as much damage as you, but also you don’t want to be the jerk cleaning up the whole fight in one round and making everyone look useless.” It’s always up to the Dungeon Master’s discretion how far min-maxing should be allowed to go, and it’s a good idea for any min-maxing player to check in with their fellow party members to see how they feel about it.

But just as we shouldn’t min-max without considering the consequences, we also shouldn’t dismiss it out of hand. It can be an extremely rewarding experience to play a powerful character. In many cases, it can help tie your character’s backstory into the mechanics of the game. Imagine a fighter who once served as a knight in the king’s royal guard, who one day lost his wife to a gang of raiders; he thenceforth devoted himself to martial study to ensure no one else would ever be taken again, as long as he was there to stop it. Wouldn’t that character be powerful? That isn’t metagaming, that’s just good character building. As long as you always min-max in service of roleplaying, I think it can be a positive influence on the game. Try it out someday—you just might like it.

OPINION

29

S E E A V T O L ONE MAN’S VALENTINE’S DAY PL ANS SAM GARCIA

SAM GARCIA

30

COMICS

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

HOW TO CELEBRATE VALENTINE’S DAY WITH YOUR DOG SHANNON STEED

GO FLOWER SHOPPING

TAKE A BUBBLE BATH

TAKE A ROMANTIC BEACH WALK

ENJOY A DINNER FOR TWO

GET SOME NEW JEWELRY

WATCH A ROM-COM

PSU Vanguard • JANUARY 26, 2021 • psuvanguard.com

COMICS

31

VIRTUAL

EVENTS CALENDAR TUE FEB

9

WED FEB

10 MON FEB

15 32

EVENTS

FREE FLU SHOTS AND THE 31ST ANNUAL COVID TESTING CASCADE FESTIVAL OF AFRICAN FILMS PCC Cascade Campus 11 a.m.–6 p.m.

Free Ongoing through March 31

Uninsured and BIPOC folks are prioritized for free flu shots and COVID-19 testing. You have to call in advance to schedule. Walking, driving and biking are all permitted.

THE STRANGER WORLDWIDE SILENT READING PARTY Online event 6 p.m. $5–20

Every Wednesday, Seattle alternative paper The Stranger hosts a “silent reading” livestream, but it isn’t entirely silent—a live piano performance soundtracks your mostly-silent reading.

Online event, via PCC Different showings; free Ongoing through March 10

The Annual Cascade Festival of African Films— which, naturally, will be migrating entirely to the internet this year—features African films by African filmmakers. Among the films showcased this year are Sam Soko’s Softie and You Will Die at Twenty, Sudan’s first Oscar nomination.

POWELL’S BOOKS PRESENTS ELIZABETH COLBERT IN CONVERSATION WITH BILL MCKIBBEN 5 p.m.

Free with RSVP Author Elizabeth Colbert will give a virtual reading and take questions from the audience about her new book, Under a White Sky.

NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC LIVE—SCIENTIFIC EXPOSURE Online event 7 p.m. $25 Biologist and photographer Prasenjeet Yadav presents an hour-long lecture and photo exhibition highlighting natural science in Asia.

QUEER BLACK HISTORY MONTH Local Lounge 5 p.m.

Free 21+

Local Lounge has been hosting an in-person screening of a different movie each Monday of February in honor of Black History Month.

These last two weeks saw screenings of Kinky Boots and Moonlight, and tonight’s film is the ‘90s drag classic To Wong Foo.

PSU Vanguard • FEBRUARY 9, 2021 • psuvanguard.com