Portland State Dining Guide 2012

portland state vanguard

dining guide 2012

portland state vanguard

dining guide 2012 contents

contributors

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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Erick Bengel EDITORS Whitney Beyer Marco España Louie Opatz Meredith Meier Corey Mimms Deeda Schroeder PRODUCTION MANAGER Elizabeth Thompson Art Director Danielle Fleishman PHOTO EDITOR Kayla Nguyen Online Editor Claudette Raynor COPY CHIEF Emily Gravlin ADVERTISING MANAGER Iris Meyers ADVERTISING DESIGNER Romeo Salazar ADVISER Judson Randall ADVERTISING ADVISER Ann Roman DESIGNERS Tom Cober, Danielle Fleishman, Dillon Lawerence, Colton Major, Maria Perala WRITERS Kat Audick, Whitney Beyer, Zach Bigalke, Mary Breaden, Shanna Cranston, Melinda Guillén, Breana Harris, Isaac Hotchkiss, Ravleen Kaur, Emily Lakehomer, Meredith Meier, Andrew Morse, Louie Opatz, Patrick Rogers, Deeda Schroeder, Gwen Shaw, Maya Seaman PHOTOGRAPHERS Daniel Johnston, Karl Kuchs, Maria Perala, Jinyi Qi, Miles Sanguinetti, Corinna Scott, Adam Wickham VIDEOGRAPHER Jann Messer COPY EDITORS Kylie Byrd, Rachel Porter ADVERTISING SALES Sam Gressett, Brittany Laureys, Kari Tate DISTRIBUTORS Erik Mutzke, Katie Quick

Who boasts the best roasts?

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Carts you should heart

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Farmers market

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Not just ‘please’ and ‘thank you’

Cheap date page 34

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Take it from tea

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The McMenamins franchise of fun

Gnarly Grey

International flavor, around the corner

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Carnivores vs. herbivores

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Dorm gourmet

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Cookin’ up comfort

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Try something uncanny

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Culinary classroom

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Service by the slice

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Hitting the sweet spot

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A different kind of ‘freshman 15’

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Urban picnics

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A long, cool brew in a pint glass

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Beer snob

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Cheap date

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Drink your beer...and eat it, too

coffee

who boasts the best roasts?

Gwen Shaw Photo by Maria Perala

Java Man Coffee

Coffee and Portland are two words that just go together.

And it’s no wonder: Just walk outside your door and you’ll likely be at a coffee place in a matter of minutes. But where is the best place?

And where do you go if you don’t want to spend four or five bucks on a daily drink?

Though it’s nearly impossible to narrow the coffee places in this city down, here are some suggestions. Some are close to campus, and some are worth a trip. But either way, these places are solid choices with which to start.

1432 SW 6th Ave.

Food For Thought Cafe Basement of Smith Memorial Student Union Just about as close to campus as you can get (in the basement of Smith) we’ve got PSU’s very own cafe, a student-run and -operated cafe that features many vegan-friendly options.

Aside from the large selection of healthy, homemade food they’ve got available, Food For Thought is an easy, cheap and convenient place to get some coffee.

They offer a drip Trailhead coffee for $1 if you bring your own cup. And even if you don’t, the price only goes up by a couple of quarters. It’s a great place to sit and work, and no

one cares if you’re there with a group for a couple of hours.

Park Avenue Cafe 1535 SW Park Ave. In the Park Blocks, just a couple blocks away from Lincoln Hall, Park Avenue Cafe offers Illy coffee, known for its espresso.

It’s a classic, homey cafe that offers a great alternative to the Starbucks a couple blocks away.

The seating is nice, but may get a little more crowded now that it’s getting too cold to sit at the outdoor tables. Since there are not a lot of outlets, studying alone with a laptop isn’t ideal, but it’s a great spot to meet with groups to chat about a project.

Java Man sits a bit further away from the main part of campus, right across the street from PSU’s Clay Building. It’s a cool little place, with stairs leading down to a lower level. The prices average about $3 for anything more than a black coffee, and the service is superfast. Java Man is a great place to meet for a study session. They also have bar seating right against the window, perfect for peoplewatching on Broadway.

Latte Art:

Portland offers a bevy of caffeinated beverage choices near campus.

and if you go in on a regular basis he will remember you.

Kobos Coffee 200 SW Market St. Heading toward the water, we’ve got Kobos Coffee. As a place to hang out and study it may not be the best, but for someone who just needs some coffee, it’s perfect. Fill your own cup for only $1, and the coffee they offer is locally roasted.

World Cup Coffee and Tea

Broadway Coffee

1005 W Burnside St.

1924 SW Broadway

Last, we’re going to go a little further from campus, to , World Cup Coffee and Tea, located inside the Gold Room at Powell’s.

Aside from being constantly surrounded by a mature environment, books and interesting people, The cafe offers something most other cafes don’t–an open sign until 11 p.m. every single day. It’s a student’s dream: a place to get coffee late at night that’s not 7-Eleven or Plaid Pantry. v

Broadway Coffee resides on the other end of campus, right underneath the Baan Thai restaurant. From the outside, all you see is a door and a window, but stepping in, the space opens right up. With seating options ranging from tables and chairs to couch and coffee tables, this place has a lot to offer. Broadway has house coffee for under $2 and a homemade chai that is to die for. The owner is very friendly,

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Food Carts

Carts you should heart Kat Audick

Photos by Kayla Nguyen

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The fo od ca rts ev ery Po rtland er mu st try

gimme that cornbread! the hog and hen’s moist yet crumbly cornbread just melts in your mouth Savor Soup House Location: Southwest 10th Avenue and Alder Street Specialty: Tomato fennel orange soup Rainy days call for soup, and Savor has the very best of that. Every day of the week has its very own unique soup menu full of mindblowing flavors. Savor’s healthy soups are velvety smooth and filled with vibrant ingredients. Many options are either vegan or glutenfree or both, and they sport splendid textures that will leave your taste buds craving more. Create your own sandwich from Savor’s grilled cheese bar, and you’ll have a crunchy and melty companion with which to soak up your remarkable soup.

Hog and Hen Location: Southwest Fourth Avenue and College Street Specialty: Cajun crockpot soul food This little wonder-cart serves amazingly tasty Cajun and Creole home cooking—so warm and delicious you’ll swear the little lady running the cart has her crockpot full of goodness teleported from the swampy bayou every morning. There are only two dishes on the menu at a time: one meaty, one vegetarian. Both options are hearty, stick-to-your-ribs creations that come with a side of warm, buttery cornbread. Portions come in small or large sizes, so if you’re not looking to tote around a backpack full of jambalaya from class to class, no problem. These delicious concoctions can warm up a gray day faster than you can say “gumbo.”

hog and hen

The Honey Pot Location: 4290 SE Belmont St. Specialty: Sweet and savory personal pies There are no disgusting Sweeney Todd surprises here. Honey Pot’s got little savory pies that are filled with loads of ingredients spiced to perfection. Each week brings a new selection featuring the wonderful taste of local produce and natural Northwest flavors. Whether you’re looking for lunch or treating yourself to a little dessert, Honey Pot has exactly the pie you want, even better than grandma made it. It is yet to be confirmed, but rumor has it that either a wizard or a unicorn is baking at this cart, because every single pie is magically delicious.

Number 1 Bento Location: Southwest 10th Avenue and Alder Street Specialty: Homemade bulgogi Don’t let the most generic name of all time fool you; this cart is packing some of the best Korean food you can find in our fine city.

This place is a student’s best friend—heaping piles of food that are incredibly rich and flavorful at a fraction of the price you’d expect.

Every bento comes with a saucy main protein, steamed rice, a chilled Korean noodle side dish, green salad and a little cup of kimchi for those unafraid of spice. The sign says “number 1,” and never was a statement more true.

Bro-Dogs Location: Southwest Fifth Avenue and Stark Street Specialty: Dogs, bro!

You won’t find your average hot dog at this cart, but what you will get is a tasty experience like no other. Whether you choose a traditional Sabbrett dog, a Polish, a chicken apple sausage or a vegan dog, it’s made just for you with love and care and about 100 topping variations. Try everything from savory grilled onions to homemade mac and cheese piled on top. Owner Scott is the man behind the madness, with such a passion for food he even developed a specialty gourmet bun that won’t fall apart no matter how much sloppy goodness you pack on top. Dude, bro, do yourself a solid and go mack on some Bro-Dogs. v

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Farmers mark Deeda Schroeder Photos by Daniel Johnston

It’s probably the best—if not the most famous— farmers market in the state. and it’s right at our doorstep

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You may not know it, but on Saturday mornings, the Park Blocks outside the Smith Memorial Student Union and Neuberger Hall transforms into a foodie’s paradise.

Picture it: heaps of organic vegetables and fruit—picked that morning—mounds of musky mushrooms and loads of loaves, dusty with flour and still warm from the bakery.

It’s probably the best—if not the most famous—farmers market in the state, and it’s right at our doorstep.

The Portland Farmers Market comes to life weekly from March to December, bringing dozens of local farmers, fishers, foragers and artisanal food producers into the heart of the city.

If you’ve lived on campus or nearby for a full school year, you’ll know that in late summer peaches, squash and tomatoes will fill the market.

Come fall, the New Mexicostyle chile roasters will load up their metal mesh drum roaster with fresh green chiles and, thanks to a roaring fire, fill the air with the rich, tempting smell of roasted hatch chiles.

Looking for apples for a pie?

You’ll find dozens of varieties to sample and great advice from the farmer herself.

If you’re not a chef, don’t despair. You’ll find several rows of vendors ready to cook up your breakfast or lunch, from vegan Indian soup to pasture-raised corn beef hash and free-range eggs.

Here are a few tastes you shouldn’t miss: If you’re into baked goods, you’ll find some of the city’s best bagels—baked in a mini wood-fired oven that’s a tiny trailer on wheels—from Tastebud Farm, usually parked between SMSU and Cramer Hall. Also try their thick-crust pizza and amazing pita pocket sandwiches.

If you love mint, amble over to Seely Family Farm for mint tea and handmade peppermint patties that will make you forget the name “York.”

The all-butter crust in Lauretta Jean’s full-size pies and smaller hand pies is guaranteed to make you swoon. Rich, tender and crispy at the same time, the crust is almost as amazing as the sweet and savory fillings inside.

At Jacobs Creamery, you’ll find rich, velvety vanilla and chocolate pudding, handmade butter, ricotta, fromage blanc and creme fraiche. Sample a variety of cheeses. v

farm fresh

et

Buy Local!

For the freshest in local produce, grab some bags and hit up the Portland Farmers Market.

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Not just ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ Manners and etiquette from an expert (sort of) Isaac Hotchkiss Photo by Daniel Johnston

MIND YOUR P’s AND Q’s:

Being well behaved pays dividends for one’s self and for others.

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manners

“A guide to manners and etiquette?”

you might be thinking incredulously.

“You’re not my mother, Dining Guide!”

Well, that’s true. But let me offer a case for thoughtful etiquette that has nothing to do with authoritarian figures yelling at you.

No, my argument is simple, entirely selfish and very easy to follow: Acting nice makes you feel nice. Making other people happy does, too.

I know you barely have pocket change for your own coffee, much less somebody else’s— but trust me, you can do this.

At PSU, those quick breakfasts often involve coffee or tea, and you can easily grab coffees for your whole group for just a couple bucks.

What better place to start than the dinner table? First, there are some lessons from cultures outside the U.S. that should be taken to heart. That means more of a focus on group harmony and mutual favors than on individual needs.

In Ireland, there is a cool tradition that the popular phrase “buy a round” stems from: When you’re out at the pub with your friends, one person buys a round, or “shout,” of drinks, and then the next person is expected to buy the next round, and so on. It’s not just an occasional nice gesture, it’s standard practice! The money evens out this way, more or less. Try it some night with your friends.

First of all, buy things for other people sometimes. And I’m not talking about trying to impress that cute girl you like by buying her drinks. This is something more sincere. Remember the feeling you got when somebody did something nice for you, for no reason, with nothing to really gain from it. Remember that feeling, and reciprocate.

If that’s too much booze for you, the collectivist spirit can continue at home, too. Simply buying the ingredients for a home-cooked meal and putting

the time and effort into something more sophisticated than mac and cheese is a majorly underrated skill for many college students. I was shocked to find out that quick curry—that chiefly incorporates curry paste and canned goods—was considered fine dining by some of my fellow college students. Invite your friends over, because anthropologists agree: Dining together is one of the best catalysts for group bonding.

And when you eat, remember this fun fact: Proper table setting is to place the fork to the left of the plate and knife to the right of the plate, followed by the spoon.

Finally, this last piece of advice cannot be said enough times: Put your cell phone away.

And remember, if you don’t feel like being nice for others, then do it for you. v

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steep

TAKE IT FROM TEA America is a nation of coffee drinkers, but tea lovers need not feel left out in the tea-friendly city of Portland. Here are some of the best tea spots in town.

SHANNA CRANSTON Photos by Corinna Scott

Behind the Museum Cafe

Tower of Cosmic Reflections

1229 SW 10th Ave.

239 NW Everett St.

For a tea shop that’s very close to campus, try the Behind the Museum Cafe. Since it specializes in Japanese teas and foods, sencha (green tea) is a good starting selection for first-timers. The tea served at the cafe is pretty affordable: A 12-ounce cup of tea starts at $2.50, while a whole pot starts at $3.50. The cafe also offers matcha (finely powdered green tea) along with manju (traditional Japanese sweet tea) that is served in the ryurei style of tea ceremony, for $5.50, every day except Tuesday.

If you are looking for a gorgeous atmosphere in which to sip your tea even though you’re on a budget, look no further than the teahouse located in the Tower of Cosmic Reflections at the Lan Su Chinese Garden.

All meals are presented in the classical Chinese style, including tea selections that change to match the seasons. Green tea is a popular tea choice in China, but white and oolong teas are also worth a try. The cost for informal tea presentation starts at $4 per person, while a formal presentation starts at $6. Tea connoisseurs may also like to try a “tea flight,” starting at $14, that allows you to sample three or more types of tea.

The Tea Zone and Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. A tea lover’s paradise in the Pearl District that’s accessible by streetcar, TeaZone offers more than 100 types of tea for sale in loose leaf form or brewed in-shop. Bubble tea is probably the most popular drink here, and tea lattes are also offered. Depending on personal preferences, a purist should try one of the green or black teas, such as the Gyokuro or the Cream of Assam. For those who like more flavor, the chocolate mint or the Dragon Pearl Jasmine are wonderful choices. TeaZone is also a great hang-out place for those wishing to get some work done on their laptops.

Clockwise from top left:

The Heathman Hotel Restaurant and Bar 1001 SW Broadway Any Anglophile should try high tea at least once, so why not try an afternoon at the Heathman?

Located in one of the last historic hotels still standing in Portland, the Heathman boasts the best traditional English afternoon tea service in the city.

Despite its pricey menu ($32 per person), the large array of finger sandwiches and pastries is well worth trying. Women usually wear nice dresses or skirts, and men wear slacks and a smart shirt to afternoon tea. To make the required reservation, call 503-790-7752. v

Hand with tea; woman with tea; bird with tea; hour glass with tea; just tea.

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GNARLY GREY The local watering hole you’ve always wanted MAYA SEAMAN Photos by Adam Wickhmam

to his burger and chips. But at only $6, he couldn’t resist. “I’m not going to pass up a deal like that,” he said. “I’m not an idiot.”

And neither is Ozimkowski.

After only one month of business, Gnarly Grey has accumulated a swath of regulars by creating an atmosphere without social barriers. The place beams with Portland pride, is already throwing fundraisers for PSU associations and encourages camaraderie among its patrons, whether PSU-affiliated or not.

“We love our customers,” head chef Steve Ryan said. “We can’t do it without them.”

So the next time you’ve had a long day, grab a friend, a professor or that cutie you’ve had your eye on and stop by Gnarly Grey.

Cheer on the Vikings, jump into a game of interdepartmental darts, play pinball or shoot some pool.

Unlike other nearby pubs, you’ll shell out less cash, and your pool cue won’t hit the wall. v

1235 SW Jefferson St. (between 12th and 13th avenues) There’s nothing better than meeting a group of friends for a drink after a long day juggling school and work. The problem is finding a place that everyone can afford, that offers cheap yet delicious food and that isn’t a food cart.

An eatery where you can duck out of the rain and enjoy a pint without having to scream over the music or split an entree because of the price. Where the service is friendly and the atmosphere begs you to stay for just one more drink—maybe two. These were some of the criteria that John Ozimkowski had in mind when he opened Southwest Portland’s newest sports bar, Gnarly Grey.

“What happened to the place where you could get a couple micros and a burger for under 12 bucks in the gnarly, gray winter?” Ozimkowski asked, explaining both his thoughts on

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planning the bar and the origin of its name.

In a city full of trendy restaurants and overpriced dives, Gnarly Grey’s menu actually caters to the student budget without ditching the quality.

According to Ozimkowski, the last thing he wants his patrons to be thinking is, “Can I afford to be here?”

With a happy hour menu that includes cheesy nachos and pulled pork sliders that don’t exceed $5, you can definitely afford to eat here. I dove into a $3 bowl of macaroni and cheese that Ozimkowski described as “trucker-style mac.” Soaked in Velveeta and covered in baked Tillamook cheddar, each gooey shell was like a time machine to childhood.

Amazingly, the regular menu isn’t far removed from happy

hour prices. Gnarly Grey serves breakfast (all day), soups, salads and Southern sides like cowboy beans over corn polenta.

Entrees include basic burger and sandwich choices, with a few classy exceptions.

My Vanguard coworkers and I teased Marco España for ordering the steak as an appetizer

HOURS: Sunday–Thursday, 9–12 a.m.

Friday and Saturday, 9–2:30 a.m.

Follow Gnarly Grey on Facebook for daily specials, discounts and Mickey’s Under the Cap Puzzles.

International flavor, around the corner Ravleen Kaur Photo by Jinyi Qi

You don’t have to travel far to experience a wide world of food.

The PSU area is a treasure-trove of international finds. Here are four staples on or within five minutes of campus to get you started on your food hunt, along with additional restaurants to venture out to when you’ve got a bit of extra time. You’ll find it easy to squeeze in a delicious voyage between classes.

LEBANESE

MEXICAN

THAI

JAPANESE

Alexandrya Mediterranean Cuisine

Locos Locos

Baan Thai

Blue Fin Sushi

1728 S.W. Broadway Monday–Friday 11a.m.–9 p.m.,

1924 S.W. Broadway Monday–Saturday 11a.m.–10 p.m.,

1988 S.W. Broadway Monday–Friday; 11a.m.–9 p.m., Saturday, 12 p.m.–9 p.m.,

Keep your eyes peeled for a narrow stairway on Broadway that leads to this basement location run by husband-and-wife team Ana and Pablo. A grand, colorful mural looms large in the spacious dining hall big enough for large groups. “People always come back,” Ana said.

Why? Generous, affordable helpings of freshly prepared food. Burritos reign supreme at Locos Locos, with the breakfast bacon, ham and potato burrito a popular choice. “If you’re really hungry, get a burrito,” she said, recommending the pastor marinated pork lunch burrito. If you just want a snack, grab a taco.

Vegetarian options are available.

Spice up lunchtime with this neighborhood favorite. If it’s your first time visiting Baan Thai, try the pad thai noodles with shrimp, chicken or vegetables.

“We have the best pad thai in town,” one server boasted. Nestled between a coffee shop and a bakery, this brightly painted space brims with customers at lunchtime. Other popular items on the extensive menu include the yellow curry and cashew-nut stir fry. Most dishes can be customized for vegetarian, though not vegan, diets. Fair disclaimer from a server for the faint of tongue or stomach: “Our food is very, very spicy,” though heat levels can be adjusted.

More Mexican cuisine: Santeria (703 SW Ankeny St.), 1000 SW Morrison St.

More Thai cuisine: Kinara (1126 SW 18th Ave.), Thai Chili Jam (1243 SW Jefferson St.)

420 SW College St. Monday–Friday 11a.m.–7p.m.

Forgo the food carts and turn the corner for an authentic, cozy slice of the Mediterranean.

From baba ghanouj to baklava, the food at Alexandrya hovers somewhere in the realm between Mediterranean and Middle Eastern cuisine. This intimate space pays homage to its origins with adornments like hand-painted murals and ornamental teapots. Popular items, owner Hassan said, include the vegetarian meza plate, the mediterranean chicken salad and the generously portioned lamb kafta.

More Middle Eastern cuisine: Abu Rasheed (1921 SW Sixth Ave.), Mummy’s (622 SW Columbia St.)

Most popular item at Blue Fin? “Everything!” the manager said.

This giant “sushi-go-round” is a hit with students who want taste without fuss. With a few exceptions, $1.50 buys your choice of a ready-to-eat sushi plate that winds its way around the sleek space on a conveyor belt.

Freshly prepared by sushi chefs, plates include a variety of both seafood and vegetarian rolls featuring ingredients like crab, salmon, shrimp, avocado and edamame. v More Japanese: Chef Naoko Bento (1237 SW Jefferson St.), Murata (200 SW Market St.)

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Portobello Vegan Trattoria

Blossoming Lotus

1125 SE Division St.

Blossoming Lotus offers up a gorgeous assortment of vegan dishes that will tantalize your eyes with lively colors and satisfy your stomach with tasty flavors.

With gluten-free, soy-free and raw options, this restaurant is the perfect gathering place for friends of any diet. The menu features food fusions from around the world, including dishes of Indian, Mediterranean, Mexican and Thai inspiration.

Lotus’ servings are generous, and every meal can be paired with an equally delicious house cocktail, freshly blended juice, sweet smoothie or hot herbal tea. Every plate looks like a carefully constructed work of art and tastes like a true masterpiece.

Portobello Vegan Trattoria produces some of the most inventive food creations in all of Portland. Each incredible dish is bursting with flavors that honor the local and seasonal produce being used. It is the restaurant that could surely turn sworn meat eaters into full-on veggie worshipers. Between delicately crafted pizzas, warm buttery gnocchi and their famous peppered Portobello mushroom steak, customers can experience a menagerie of prime vegan eats. All of the items take a classical Italian approach and turn it on its head to generate unique aromas and flavors that will definitely land a place in your heart.

1713 NE 15th Ave.

Herbivore havens

Papa G’s 2314 SE Division St. Papa G’s proudly presents grub that is always organic, vegan, GMO-free and sustainable, which means that it’s great for you and for our planet. Between mixed bowls, fresh sandwiches, spicy tacos, crisp salads, warm soups, curries and a full deli case you’ll be dizzy deciding what to stuff your face with. Their flavors are bold and impeccably spiced with herbs and oils that are also local and organic. If your stomach is longing for food that is as decadent as it is healthful and absolutely swelling with Northwest style, Papa G’s is the place to be.

Carnivores v

Local hotspots for the best of bot Kat Audick 16

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Photo by Corinna Scott

Carnivore hotspots

Podnah’s Pit Barbeque

Acadia New Orleans Bistro

1625 NE Killingsworth St.

1303 NE Fremont St.

Podnah’s is king of the most quintessential down-home barbecue in Portland. Its pride and joy is a selection of slow-roasted barbecue that skimps on grease and allows the delicious natural integrity of the meat to stand out. It’s classic Texas-style food at its very best, with no complicated sauces to mask the natural smoky and savory flavors. Podnah’s is so passionate about their food that they fire up their pit every day at 5:00 a.m. They only use the highestquality natural ingredients available, which truly makes each dish shine. It’s a meat-lovers dream, and every patron is guaranteed to leave stuffed and happy.

Acadia’s claim to fame is carnivorous variety in the form of fish, poultry, beef, pork and every combination in between, all cooked up with kickin’ Cajun flavor. Their rustic menu genuinely respects every piece of meat served by thoughtfully combining it with the most mindmelting flavors on the planet.

Succulent smoked duck rillettes, spicy crab and crawfish etouffee and tender rabbit with andouille sausage gumbo represents just a handful of Acadia’s hearty goodness. If you’re searching for food that sinful and soulful, head up to Acadia for some serious good eats.

Shut Up and Eat 3848 SE Gladstone St. Shut Up and Eat is the most deliciously abrasive sandwich shop in all of Portland. While their customer service is actually quite friendly, their sandwiches are practically shouting at your taste buds. One of the few food trucks to gain so much popularity they had to open a storefront, Shut Up and Eat features mouthwatering ingredients packed into soft, fresh-daily Pearl Bakery bread. No matter which beast you wind up choosing, rest assured that it will be juicy, savory, melty and meaty—practically everything a carnivore could dream of. . v

vs. herbivores

th worlds

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Dorm Gourmet Two non-chefs duke it out in a bitter (and potentially food-poisoning-inducing) culinary battle Louie Opatz Photos by Daniel Johnston

The Food Network is a veritable hotbed of competitive cook-offs, none as entertaining or absurd as one of its most popular shows, Chopped. For the unacquainted, Chopped forces professional chefs to cook gourmet meals in 20 to 30 minutes using four secret ingredients, which are hidden in the infamous “mystery basket.”

The show’s producers always choose maddening combinations (black cod, puffed rice cereal, pineapple and chorizo; or baby bananas, black-eyed peas, poblano chiles and ostrich steak, to cite two especially diabolical examples) and complain about the kind of minutiae that makes normal people hate foodies. (You know you’ve become a true Chopped fiend if you find yourself tut-tut-ing a contestant for undercooking a ramp.)

Sure, Chopped is intense, but those snobs have world-class facilities complete with ice cream makers, mandolins, pressure cookers and pantries stocked with a bizarre and comprehensive list of complementary ingredients. If you want a blood orange then, by God, there will be blood orange.

Most of us will never operate a blast chiller or clean a squab. But most of us still have the luxury of an oven, four burners, a spice rack and various kitchen accoutrements. No, it’s not “Kitchen Stadium,” but it will do just fine.

But what about those who consider adding canned veggies to ramen cooking? Those who have more varieties of Gatorade on hand than varieties of oil or vinegar? What about those who live in dorms?

The Vanguard deigned to find out. Erick Bengel, our eminent editor-in-chief, descended from his lordly perch and tossed aside his slow-roasted mutton leg to issue an edict: Photo Editor Kayla Nguyen and I were to enter the nearest “den of iniquity” (he meant “dorm”) to “cook a meal of common food.”

Lord Bengel couldn’t be bothered to come—he said something about lazily eating grapes from a commoner’s hand —but Kayla and I entered the Broadway Housing dorm room of Vanguard photographer Daniel Johnston to have a Chopped cook-off, dorm style.

This is what transpired.

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Procuring the foodstuffs News Editor Deeda Schroeder—a former pastry chef and current food writer extraordinaire—selected the four mystery basket ingredients. Her selections were based on one criterion: the ingredient’s dormishness. (Dormitude? Dormability?)

Schroeder’s rigorous selection process culminated in a cryptic text message a mere 45 minutes prior to the culinary showdown. It read: “Here are your dorm kitchen mystery ingredients: ramen noodles, catsup, oranges and baked beans.” And we were off.

I snagged the no-longer-amystery ingredients from a local grocer which will remain unnamed (that, incidentally, does not allow photography) and began planning my “menu” as I walked its flash-photographyfree aisles. I filled my cart with one bottle of generic ketchup,

a 56-ounce can of baked beans, a six-pack of Top Ramen and six navel oranges.

My first thought was to cook the ramen, squirt the ketchup, squeeze the orange and dump the beans into a bowl. I knew that my stomach could handle it. But what of Daniel, the judge, jury and photographer for our adventure?

He seemed far more squeamish than I, so I began brainstorming a more edible entree.

Kayla and I were both held to a strict $20 budget. I purchased two limes, a head of cabbage, one red onion, one carrot, a clove of garlic, one red bell pepper, two kaiser rolls and two thin slabs of pork. (They were out of mutton.) My menu, formulated while frantically prowling the aisles, cost a grand total of $7.98.

I gave the rest of my $20 to a nice bearded man who was offering a “good time.” (Just kidding, accounting department.)

As I shopped downtown, Kayla perused the aisles of a

supermarket across town. As I chose my ingredients I could feel her Eye of Sauron-like gaze.

She would be a formidable opponent.

Manipulating the foodstuffs with fire We arrived at Daniel’s dormitory, and I took the lay of the land: a mini-fridge, sink, microwave and two-burner stovetop comprised our cookery. The kitchen area was cramped, though I found enough space for our “pantry”: Sriracha, vegetable, sesame and olive oil, rice and balsamic vinegar, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce and a standard spice rack like you’d find at Fred Meyer.

Kayla arrived with her groceries in tow and we set the timer: We’d have 35 minutes to prepare, cook and present Daniel with something edible. His

primary concern was avoiding food poisoning, which I took as a vote of confidence.

I created a “marinade” of baked beans juice, ketchup, Worcestershire, Sriracha, olive oil and cajun seasoning, and threw the sliced pork into it. It marinated for all of two minutes before I had to throw it in the hot pan. As it sauteed, I was able to gauge my competition: Kayla thought that creating two separate dishes—a salad and a stir fry—would sway Daniel, and she worked at constructing a salad while water boiled for her noodles.

As the pork cooked, I started chopping veggies for what I was calling my “Asian slaw”: cabbage, onions, peppers and raw, crunchy ramen in a vinaigrette of orange juice, lime juice, olive oil, soy sauce and rice vinegar. Not bad, right?

I added some sliced onions and peppers to the pork and all

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my ingredients got good and coated in the baked bean/ketchup mixture. (Hungry yet?)

Once I had completed my slaw, I tossed it in the mini-fridge to let it get more slaw-y. Kayla’s noodles were cooked, and she added the tricolor rotini to a saute pan with oil, sliced beef, ketchup and a bottle’s-worth of store-bought stir-fry sauce.

(Not to nitpick, but Kayla used store-bought salad dressing and store-bought stir-fry sauce, which think would appall the Chopped judges. If “making a salad” involves throwing ranch on vegetables, then I can make the shit out of a salad.)

As our concoctions sauteed on the stove, I grew confident: Surely Daniel, the dorm denizen himself, would select the homemade dinner free of premade sauces that are so very un-Portland. Surely he would see that I am awesome, right? (Pretty good contrived suspense, right?)

Determining the superior preparation of the foodstuffs As Daniel sat and contemplated our two finished dishes, he reiterated that his primary concern was dodging food poisoning.

He asked if my pork was cooked through, and I replied in the haughty manner in which I’m accustomed to speaking.

“Of course,” I said, rolling my eyes as dramatically as possible.

But wait: Kayla’s dish lacked two of the mystery ingredients!

She hadn’t incorporated the ramen or the baked beans, which, as an avid Chopped viewer, I knew meant certain disqualification. Even if Daniel spent the rest of the night on the toilet because of my meal, I was pretty sure I had to win. Rules are rules.

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Daniel tried my meal first, which I had christened the “Spicy Pork Sandwich with Asian Slaw.” He looked ill as he picked it up. After a trepidatious bite he offered his analysis: “It’s not as bad as thought it would be. It tastes better than it looks.”

Huzzah! I know a compliment when I hear one, folks. Crown me king. Let’s do this thing.

As he continued eating, Daniel said that my slaw was “pretty crunchy.” A few bites later, he added, “still pretty crunchy,” before offering his final verdict on my meal: “I think ‘crunchy’ was your main idea when it came to your food. Your coleslaw is definitely more edible than your sandwich.” (Again, I’m not questioning the validity of our inimitable judge, Daniel, but are there really levels of edibility?

Aren’t things either “edible” or “inedible”? Also, and this is a total coincidence that I’m mentioning this now, did you know that Kayla is Daniel’s boss? Pretty interesting, right?)

Next, it was time for Daniel to try Kayla’s meal. His premeal statement boosted my confidence a bit. “God, give me strength,” Daniel said as he stared at the plate of noodles that Kayla had garnished with a generous portion of black pepper. Kayla had not named her meal, so I took up the task: “Tri-Color Beef Noodle Ketchup Pepper Pile Surprise.” Sounds gross, yes? Tell me about it.

“It’s all right,” Daniel said as he chewed on the (probably either under- or overcooked) noodles, the (store-bought) stir-fry sauce and the (potentially life-threatening-raw) meat of my competitor.

“I like my burgers and steaks a little pink, but this is a little too pink,” Daniel said. “It’s cold.”

“Crunchy beats cold every time,” I told myself, rubbing my hands in anticipation of the nonexistent prize money and utter

lack of formal recognition.

Daniel tried the (storebought, probably highfructose-corn-syrup-filled and super-processed-ranch-dressing-drenched) salad next.

“As expected, it tastes as salad should taste,” Daniel said.

More damning words I have never heard, dear reader.

As he munched on the salad, Daniel came to a decision.

“Kayla wins,” he said, as the world gasped in disbelief.

Dumbfounded, I asked Daniel for an explanation, which he offered after a lengthy pause.

“Hers wasn’t as crunchy,” he said.

So there you have it: I lost to a competitor who used half the mystery ingredients and lathered her food in processed, store-bought swill. (Sorry,

Kayla. I don’t mean to throw you under the bus, but the bus is there for a reason: to throw cheaters under. Boom!)

I had planned a denouement on the vagaries of cooking in confined spaces, on how one must muster inspiration to craft a delicate masterpiece amid the pulsating sounds of coitus and dubstep and the scent of Axe and weed smoke—of how, even in a dormitory, culinary magic can happen, blah blah blah.

But instead I will say this: I was robbed. If you want a more “objective” account of the Vanguard’s inaugural Chopped: Dormatorium, then look somewhere else, because this is my byline, damn it.

Sometimes history is written by the loser. v

cookin’ up comfort Portland’s best comfort food pampers the homesick heart

Maya Seaman Photo by Miles Sanguinetti

When you’re far away from home, feeling stuck in an unfamiliar place, food is an easy way to find solace. Sometimes just sitting in a warm, bustling restaurant where the waitress calls you “sweetie” before serving you a steaming vat of mashed potatoes and meatloaf can give you the strength to carry on—or at least put you in a food coma until you feel better. When you need a pick-me-up, try these Portland comfort food staples.

Screen Door 2337 E Burnside St. While dinner here is amazing, brunch is even better. Three breasts of crispy fried chicken atop a sweet potato waffle with maple syrup will ease a broken heart. Rum-infused bananas on Foster French toast will soothe your soul. You’ll walk away from Screen Door full, happy and ready to climb back into bed to sleep away the day and dream of a warm Southern bayou.

Mac! Mac & Cheesery 3936 N Mississippi St. Sometimes there’s no better cure for homesickness than gorging on a giant bowl of macaroni ’n’ cheese just like your mom used to make. But this isn’t your mom’s mac—it’s better. There’s truffle mac for more discerning palates, vegan mac for the herbivores and grandma’s mac for the lost little kid in you (this one has pieces of cut-up hot dog in the mix).

And for 50 cents, you can make any mac dish into a burrito— need I say more?

Cheesy consolation:

Nothing beats a bowl of mac ‘n’ cheese when you’re down in the dumps. If the first one doesn’t work, just eat another bowl.

Southland Whiskey Kitchen 1422 NW 23rd Ave. If you only order one thing at Southland—which I find difficult—make sure it has a side of mashed potatoes. The consistency is so thick and creamy you’ll wish you could lie down in it and make a snow angel. Then eat it. This new, authentic barbecue joint is spicing up Northwest 23rd with its smoked meats, homemade sauces, grits and sweet potato pie. Streetcar accessible.

Besaw’s 2301 NW Savier St. Besaw’s features homestyle cooking that mixes classic American with old-fashioned

Southern. Their burgers drip succulent spiced meat juice down your fingers with every bite and the omelets are stuffed like pinatas with thick-sliced bacon or avocado. On icy days, nothing beats their steel-cut oatmeal smothered in hazelnuts, brown sugar and honey butter. They also offer a “$6 steal” menu for the financially strapped. Streetcar accessible.

Stepping Stone Cafe 2390 NW Quimby St. Great any time of day, Stepping Stone Cafe offers manhole-sized pancakes, moist buttermilk biscuits the size of softballs and juicy meatloaf. The atmosphere is 1950s diner with attitude,

decorated for Christmas at all times and run by hipsters you’ll actually want to befriend.

Streetcar accessible.

Podnah’s Pit 1625 NE Killingsworth St. Frito pie. All-meat chili. Banana pudding. These are the things you’re supposed to eat before and after you stuff yourself with spare ribs, pulled pork and brisket that’s been smoked for 10 hours. And each of these comes complete with two sides, like collard greens or potato salad.

My advice: Wear elastic pants. v

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Rimsky-Korsakoffee House

Try something uncanny Portland’s odd and peculiar eateries Emily Lakehomer Photos by Corinna Scott

Left:

Rimsky-Korsakoffee house has a huge selection of sundaes like this brownie fudge one.

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ODD EATS Portland’s food scene is a-hopping, a foodie’s veritable Candy Land of five-star restaurants and neighborhood food cart pods. But the scene isn’t all about nationally renowned chefs and restaurants.

A number of odd eateries and funky diners buttress the city’s reputation as a wellspring of weird. For those of you who dwell on the east side, you’re in luck. Southeast, Northeast and North Portland are havens for haunts steered toward the stranger side of dining.

Pattie’s Home Plate Cafe 8501 N Lombard St. Pattie’s will take you down memory lane. This joint boasts a traditional American comfort food menu—nothing too spectacular. It’s the service and setting that make it, well, a little strange. Like the shake and burger joint frequented by the cast of Grease, Pattie’s has everything a 1950s nostalgia restaurant needs: a jukebox, checkered floors and old records hanging from the ceiling.

Inside you’ll find used books for sale, along with various other wares: jewelry, lotions, greeting cards and a whole lot more.

Also, they serve malt shakes, and give you the leftovers in the silver cup. What’s better than that?

Shenzhen 707 NE 82nd Ave. Shenzhen, a Chinese restaurant, offers more exotic fare. The menu lists the standards—orange chicken, lo mein—along with dishes like chilled jellyfish and pig rectum. Yep. The decor is traditional and the ambience is great—just make sure you know what you’re ordering!

The Roxy 1121 SW Stark St. The Roxy, a downtown favorite for years, falls into the greasy spoon category. The food is

nothing special, but the menus are entertaining to read (“Too Snobby to Even Look at You French Toast,” “Soylent Green Omelette,” “Gus Van Sant-wich”), the walls are covered in Quentin Tarantino memorabilia, and the large-scale Jesus statue is a great addition to any dining experience.

RimskyKorsakoffee House 707 SE 12th Ave. In juxtaposition with nearly everything you know about your average cafe, and reality, for that matter, there’s the Rimsky-Korsakoffee House. This little place has been one of my favorite haunts since I first moved to Portland. The menu is small, offering coffee drinks and desserts with a rotating daily special. I suggest the orange cappuccino; it’s just the right ratio of sweet and bitter.

Housed in a large Craftsman, it’s a novelty with its creaking floors, mismatched chairs, and seance table for larger groups.

Strange pictures and marionettes hang from the ceiling, and an old player piano nestles in the corner.

Only open at night, this place is great fun for a late-night adventure with friends or a date. A few words of advice though: It’s cash only, and if you get scared easily, close your eyes before entering the bathroom. v

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Culinary classroom Photo by Corinna Scott

Oregon Culinary Institute offers affordable fine dining opportunies

Just a few blocks from Portland State, another group of students arrives on campus for a day of classes. They set down their bags and books and settle in to study.

But their laboratories come complete with stoves, ovens, grills and fryers. And those bags contain knives, peelers and other kitchen gadgets. These are the students of Oregon Culinary Institute, training for careers in the restaurants of Portland and beyond.

Why should a PSU student care about having a culinary school so close to the Park Blocks?

Let’s face it: Most college students can’t afford a multicourse dinner at a nice restaurant. The typical college budget and the words “fine dining” are usually incompatible.

But thanks to the open-to-thepublic restaurant integrated into the OCI curriculum, you don’t have to blow a week’s budget to enjoy high-quality dining.

The genius of OCI’s integrated restaurant is that it allows for patrons to actually enjoy the fruits of the students’ labors while also providing real-world experience for those students.

When you walk into the restaurant, you enter the ultimate culinary classroom. From start to finish, you are feted by students learning their art.

The server taking your order is studying for his or her restaurant management degree, as is the bartender pouring your drink.

The cooks preparing each meal are testing themselves in the culinary arts classroom, and the

Zach Bigalke

selection of desserts to finish each meal are crafted and plated by students in the baking and pastry program.

Guided by instructors, the student staff can accommodate as many as 70 diners each meal.

A creative menu, planned and implemented in the classroom in collaboration with the school’s local purveyors, is brought to life before each customer’s eyes in the open kitchen.

At lunch, diners can start their meals with one of three salads before selecting an entree. Choices include seared sea scallops with a corn, tomato and bean succotash; leg of lamb with ratatouille and lentils; and a crispy ham hock sandwich with arugula and shaved onion rings. Then, one must decide on the chocolate torte or the

cheesecake for dessert.

Dinner presents even more options, with a choice of soup or appetizer to start the meal.

The students prepare a variety of dishes, including grilled pork loin with caramelized apples and fingerling potatoes, or a bucatini pasta with shrimp, tomatoes and fennel pollen.

If you have time to sit down for a longer lunch between classes, you can indulge in three courses for less than $10, just a 15-minute walk from campus.

For the same price you would spend to have a pizza delivered, the restaurant at OCI will provide a full four-course dinner.

The students were going to have to prepare food, anyway, for class; your wallet and your stomach reap the rewards. v

Oregon Culinary Institute Restaurant 1701 SW Jefferson St. Open Monday through Friday $9 for three-course lunch; seating starts at noon. $18 for four-course dinner; seating starts at 7 p.m.

Call 503-961-6200 to make a reservation.

Low Price, Swank Taste:

This delicious grilled flatiron steak sandwich would be much more expensive at a traditional upscale establishment.

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Service by the Slice PSU and downtown Portland offer quality pizza selection Breana Harris Photos by Daniel Johnston

As a recent transplant from Southern California, I’m not exactly used to a wide range of fine dining options. Downtown Portland has a lot fewer junk food franchises and a greater variety of affordable, unique restaurants and food carts—and one thing I noticed right away is the pizza. If you’re looking for pizza, you might be spoiled by choices, especially close to the Portland State campus. Whether you’re looking to dine in, order out or get a pie delivered, the downtown area can meet all your pizza needs.

Pizzicato PIZZA 1708 SW 6th Ave. Located in PSU’s Urban Center, Pizzicato is a popular choice for PSU students. Diners can order by the slice or get a full pizza in one of their gourmet styles, which include vegan and gluten-free options. They offer happy hour specials—a pint of beer and a slice of pizza is only $5.95—and delivery is free after 5 p.m.

Hot Lips Pizza 1909 SW 6th Ave. Offering organic pizza with a twist, Hot Lips on the corner of Sixth Avenue and Hall Street is so good that it was recommended to me by at least three people my first week in town.

Their pizza uses one-of-a-kind meat, cheese and vegetable combos, and they even sell their own natural soda to accompany it. Minimum delivery order is $20, and there is a $3 delivery charge.

Pizza Schmizza 732 SW Yamhill St. With 26 locations throughout Portland, Pizza Schmizza has gained popularity since it first opened in 1993. Their Fox Tower location offers a variety of specialty pizzas from medium to XXL size, as well as a huge selection of pasta. You can get delivery, though the downtown location hasn’t added an online ordering system yet.

Give Pizza a Chance SW Stark Street between Fourth and Fifth avenues Give Pizza a Chance is one of Portland’s famous food carts, offering New York-style pizza with an organic wheat crust by the slice. Like Hot Lips, Give Pizza a Chance also offers its own handcrafted soda. If you’re ordering for delivery, their website suggests you call the afternoon prior, as they run low on dough quickly. It’s a 10 percent gratuity for pick-up orders, 15 percent to deliver.

21st Century Pizza 1221 SW Jefferson St. If you’re looking for online ordering, 21st Century Pizza is a great option—they even have an option to build your own pizza on their website. Their pizza styles might not sound as gourmet as other places, but they have a wide selection, glutenfree options and a quick delivery time—plus they are open until midnight every day.

If you’re familiar with downtown Portland, you probably know that this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to options for delicious pizza at a great price. It might require some guilt-free experimentation to find out which one’s your favorite. But don’t worry: Good pizza is a staple of college life. v

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Hitting the sweet spot

A taste of Portland’s most palatable desserteries Meredith Meier Photos by Riza Liu

Dessert devotees, cupcake connoisseurs and macaroon munchers, take note! Sweet treats aren’t just after-dinner delights—here in P-Town, our desire for sugar rushes strike any time of day. And to appease the sweetest of sweet teeth, here are a few of the city’s most delectable destinations.

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DESSERTSPOONS Pix Patisserie 2225 E Burnside St. At Pix you’ll find 30-plus flavors of French macaroons, ganache-filled cakes, homemade ice cream, tarts, mousse creations and chocolates that will make your taste buds stand at attention.

Try the Shazam!, a towering display of thin rolled chocolate filled with caramel mousse and salted almonds atop a moist slab of chocolate-almond cake. The Royale with Cheese will satisfy even the most adventurous of diners: A chocolate mousse dome hides a hazelnut-praline filling atop a dacquoise cake, with a side of French Brillat-Savarin cheese.

For traditionalists, try the chocolate with chocolate (and more chocolate) Queen of

Sheba cake, or a perfectly torched creme brulee.

Pair your dessert with a drink: Pix offers a 30-plus-page drink menu with more than 150 types of champagne, wine, sherry and beer.

Papa Haydn 701 NW 23rd Ave. Get your cake here! Papa Haydn’s decadent cakes will satisfy any cake lover. Try the Cassata, a sponge cake soaked with Kahlua and espresso and layered with chunks of chocolate and ricotta.

The Triple Chocolate Cake promises near-chocolate-overload, with three layers of chocolate buttermilk cake combined with espresso ganache inside a glossy milk-chocolate shell.

Papa Haydn serves more than just cheesecake and mousse concoctions—there’s also a full dinner menu.

Saint Cupcake 1138 SW Morrison St. Mmmm…cupcakes. The memory of Saint Cupcake’s moist muffin-cakes will linger in your mind for days, until you’re compelled to have another. And another. With rotating flavors like chocolate and mint buttercream, pumpkin spice, chocolate and coffee buttercream, the Fat Elvis, and the ever-adored red velvet, choosing your favorite is a difficult decision.

The downtown bakery is a must for those seeking a bit of comfort on a rainy day. Saint Cupcake also offers cookies, brownies and other delights, as well as the latest menu additions: caramels and goody drops.

Pacific Pie Company 1520 SE 7th Ave. Pie. Pie. Pie! And not the kind you want to throw in someone’s face. Devoted to the art of piemaking, Pacific Pie Co. is a definite destination stop, especially for those (like me) who miss mom’s famous—and secret—pie crust. The sweet-pies menu changes with the season, baking in the best of seasonal fruits and offerings. Each week the bakers choose different pie recipes, making it almost a new experience every time you go.

Examples of Pacific Pie’s creations include: Key Lime, peanut butter chocolate, summer berry, peach blackberry and pumpkin.

Make it a full dining experience: have a Shepherd’s Pie or a Spinach and Feta Pastie for lunch or dinner.

sweets

Home-baked

Creme de la Creamery Ben & Jerry’s PSU Urban Plaza Ice cream’s a college student staple, and we’re lucky to have our very own shop right on campus. Get one or two—or even three—scoops of your favorite flavors in a cup, cone or shake; if you want a little more sugar with your sugar, get a chocolatecovered, nut-dipped waffle cone, or add a topping to your scoops.

My favorite? CoffeeCoffeeBuzzBuzz.

For the more health-conscious (Who are you? It’s ice cream!), B&J offers frozen greek yogurt in yummy flavors like Blueberry Vanilla Graham and Raspberry Fudge Chunk. Sorbet and real fruit smoothies also fill out the healthy side of the counter.

If you want something a little more experimental, have the B&J staff fix up a hand-packed pint of your favorites. But be a bit wary, peanut brittle ice cream and Mango Mango sorbet probably don’t taste very good together.

Tartberry 915 SW Ninth Ave. Frozen yogurt aficionados, take note. Tartberry’s got a menu just for you. With flavors like Gourmet Nutter Butter, Chocolate Mint Creme, Very Strawberry and Pomegranate Raspberry Vegan Sorbet, you can feel free to indulge your frozen-sweets craving without wasting your entire daily caloric allotment. Kicking it up a notch, Tartberry’s frozen yogurt is kosher certified and has tons of live and active cultures.

So grab a cup, fill it up, pile on the toppings and enjoy your sweet treat in a vibrant, friendly atmosphere. Bonus: Prices are relatively low, so indulging your cravings won’t kill your budget. v DINING GUIDE 2012

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A different kind of ‘freshman 15’ 15 easy meals each from two simple foods

Melinda Guillén Photo by Maria Perala

In a world filled with delicious food, it seems like fine dining has evaded the recipe boxes of poor college students for quite some time. Whether you are an “extreme couponer” or you mooch off of your parents’ Costco card, buying in bulk is the best way to save money on food. For those of us who cannot afford to be picky and go this route, here are two staple foods that, if bought in bulk, can serve many different purposes.

The first versatile, bulk-worthy food is the tortilla (either flour or corn). The best brand to buy is Guerrero, which can be found at any local supermarket. Depending on the store, these sell for $4 or less and last a long time when refrigerated. Below are some of the inexpensive meals my own mother used to make for our family using this simple food.

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Meals to make 1. Quesadillas 2. Sincronizadas 3. Chilaquiles (green or red) 4. Nachos 5. Fajitas 6. Chicken quesadillas 7. Crunchy Tacos 8. Taquitos 9. Tostadas 10. Enchiladas 11. Taco pizza 12. Tortillas dulce (cinnamon-sugar chips, also called Elephant Ears) 13. Breakfast burritos 14. Tortilla soup 15. “Real” tacos (like the ones sold at taco stands)

Another food I have found handy is chicken breast. Although it may seem expensive, when bought in bulk with the right coupons there is almost always an opportunity to lower the cost. Virtually anything can be made with chicken. However, these are the 15 I have found to be the easiest and least expensive. All recipes can substitute tofu for chicken.

Tortillas and chicken are just a couple of the staple foods that make a myriad of cheap, easy and delicious meals. Most people avoid buying in bulk because of the fear of getting sick of eating the same thing all the time. But each of the meals above give that particular food a unique and different taste from the rest, making it hard to get sick of eating the same food 15 meals in a row. v

Meals to make 1. Chicken panini 2. Chicken caesar salad 3. Orange chicken and vegetable stir fry 4. Sweet and sour chicken 5. Wonton chicken salad 6. Grilled chicken 7. Whole wheat chicken and veggie wrap 8. Chicken and mixed greens salad with walnuts 9. Chicken and vegetable shish kebabs 10. Lemon pasta with chicken 11. Barbecue chicken breast 12. Grilled chicken breast with rice and vegetables 13. Chicken pot pie 14. Chicken noodle soup 15. Chicken strips

Urban picnics Get away without crossing city limits

Whitney Beyer

Photo by Kayla Nguyen

Portland is considered a green city for a number of reasons, its landscape being the most obvious.

The city—dotted with patches of trees and colored by scenic parks—is nestled between vast forests, mountains and rivers, making it an ideal playground for outdoor enthusiasts and the perfect backdrop for city enthusiasts who appreciate a good view.

Portland is so beautiful, in fact, that not even the city’s cloudy reputation and annual rainfall statistics can keep people from arriving en masse.

So, while you’re here in the City of Roses with an adventure

land at your disposal, you might as well grab a rain shell, pack a lunch and set out for an urban picnic in one of the city’s many outdoor settings.

Tom McCall Waterfront Park Southwest Harrison Street and Naito Parkway The closest outdoor lunch spot Portland State students should take advantage of—aside from the Park Blocks, of course—is Waterfront Park.

The Oregon Brewers Festival and the Safeway Waterfront Blues Festival both take place on this stretch of park that runs

along the Willamette River. With the backdrop of downtown behind you and the scenic spread of what lies beyond the bridges to Southeast in front of you, Waterfront Park serves as the textbook definition of an urbanpicnic spot. It’s within walking distance of campus, so you have no excuse to not make the trek down to the water.

Tanner Springs Park Northwest 10th Avenue and Marshall Street In the Pearl District, modestly tucked between ritzy condos and fine dining, is Tanner Springs Park. After a first look at the Pearl, it would be hard to imagine the grimy and rundown industrial area it used to be. And if it weren’t for Tanner Springs Park, the area’s natural history would be doomed to obscurity.

Preserved in slightly less than an acre is a glimpse of the wetland that this part of the city once was. Now, park-goers can sit among the remnants of the marshy area and look out toward a stunning view of the Fremont Bridge arching over the Willamette. The park is super accessible from campus—it’s located directly along the Portland Streetcar’s North/South Line. All PSU students are granted free

access to the streetcar with a flash of their student ID cards.

Lower Macleay and Forest Park Northwest 29th Avenue and Upshur Street Forest Park is the farthest from campus, but it’s worth the trek.

And actually, it isn’t even that far away. If you catch the streetcar’s North/South Line up to Northwest 23rd Avenue and Marshall Street (the furthest point on its loop) you’ll have about a 20-minute walk to the entrance of Forest Park.

After that, it’s up to you to decide how far you’re willing to go: The park in its entirety spans 5,172 acres, making Forest Park the largest forested natural area within city limits in the U.S. As soon as you step into this forested wonderland, you’ll immediately forget you’re literally blocks away from bustling city life. The seemingly endless trails and babbling creeks, all under the cover of the park’s massive tree canopy, make the perfect setting for a pseudo“get out of town” day trip. v

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The McMenamins franchise of fun

Apricots are fruit, yo:

If you’re on a strict fried-chicken diet but have been forced to eat more fruits and vegetables, try these chicken hazlenut tenders with apricot sauce.

Touring McMenamins on a budget Patrick Rogers Photo by Kayla Nguyen

The owners of the McMenamins chain of brewpubs and venues have been purchasing historically significant buildings and repurposing them for of-age entertainment since the mid1980s. Their stable of notable properties includes a church, a movie theater, a funeral home, many old saloons, a former brothel, a poor farm, an elementary school and a pioneer homestead. In 1987, they first hit upon the idea of combining a movie house with a pub, the success of which led to an explosion of new additions. There are now more than 60 different franchise locations

Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside St.

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Crystal Ballroom features several different venues in one, making it one of the more compact McMenamins sites. Just 20 blocks from campus, it’s a trolley ride and a short walk away.

For those under 21 years of age, there isn’t much to do on the cheap, but Crystal Ballroom does offer medium-to-large music shows. For those 21 and over, Lola’s Room, directly under the ballroom proper, hosts both ’80s and ’90s dance nights for a cover charge of $5 and $6, respectively.

White Eagle

venue steeped in storied tradition, but one that’s said to be haunted as well. While the ghost stories might be a draw for some, White Eagle hosts free all-ages and 21-and-over shows most days of the week, which saves you a ton of money for beverages. According to their website, White Eagle has boasted such acts as ZZ Top, The Holy Modal Rounders and The Isley Brothers during its history. Shows usually start between 4:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.

Kennedy School 5736 NE 33rd Ave

836 N Russell St. For a $2.50 MAX ride—or, for the extra-thrifty, about a 45-minute walk—one can find not only a bar and music

Without a car, some of the more interesting locations are somewhat difficult to get to, but they are more than worth it. Kennedy School is

a $5 round-trip bus ride and represents one of the more unique McMenamins destinations. Multiple bars, a soaking pool, a restaurant, lodging and a movie theater aren’t just for the over-21 set—all ages are welcome before 8 p.m.

They offer cheap movies ($3 for most, occasionally free) and charge $5 per hour for the soaking pool.

With five different bars to choose from, Kennedy School makes for a novel drinking experience. Moving between the Honors Bar and the Detention Bar carries obvious connotations, while the exposed subterranean layers and vintage plumbing motifs of the Boiler Room Bar take over the senses, and make the trip to another time and place complete. v

A long, cool brew in a pint glass Three brewpubs to patronize DRINK IT UP!

Andrew Morse Photo by Adam Wickham

Imagine if ‘60s British rockers The Hollies were reborn as a Portland indie band. Instead of “Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress,” they might sing: Saturday night I was downtown Working for the PSUVG Sitting in a pub with good friends The beers were flowing free Breweries on the west side Full of people doing right Just about to call up the bartender When I saw this in my sight It was a long, cool brew in a pint glass Just 16 ounces strong…

Maybe it’s the wrong generation for classic rock parodies, but when it comes to Portland’s bestknown brewpubs, the classics are the only ones that will do.

Even if you don’t know the old Hollies tune to hum in your head, you can still go out and enjoy the sentiments at several brewpubs near campus.

When planning an outing, remember that the Portland Streetcar is free for Portland State students with student ID. Here are a few recommendations if you’re starting on campus and heading north.

Be it bottle or mug, the Chatoe Rogue packs a punch

Deschutes Brewery and Public House 210 NW 11th Ave. Food prices: $10–30+ Named after a river and rafting hotspot near Bend, Deschutes is arguably Oregon’s most wellknown brewing company. The decor of this Portland brewpub is rustic and wood-carved, like a miner’s mess hall. You won’t find anybody panning for gold, but it might take a small nugget to spend the evening there— entrees can run upwards of $30 for steaks or salmon.

If beer and snacks are all that is desired, Deschutes’ light atmosphere and wide range of beverage selections will satisfy any takers. Portland pub exclusives like the citrus-infused Fresh Hop Deschutes River Ale are on tap alongside standards like Black Butte Porter and Inversion India Pale Ale. Tip: The sweet potato fries are cooked to perfection and the beer nuts are, too. Deschutes offers a gluten-free menu, as well.

BridgePort Brewpub 1313 NW Marshall St. Food prices: $9–12 If the lights at Deschutes are too bright for your liking, finish up the night at BridgePort Brewpub.

Its dim brick-and-mortar industrial pastiche recalls Portland’s gritty past, but the company’s sustainable business practices could give PSU a run for its money.

BridgePort’s pub offers a fine selection of regular ales as well as seasonal varieties. This fall the pub introduced Witch Hunt, a haunting harvest ale with nutmeg and hints of cinnamon—perfect for a crisp night. The Bridgeport Brewpub offers specialties like meaty entrees, vegan options and pizza, while a late-night menu spares your pocketbook if those beer nuts from Deschutes didn’t fill you up.

Rogue Hall 1717 SW Park Ave. (on campus) Food prices: $6–15 Since its opening, Rogue Brewery’s campus outlet has become a staple for after class meetups. With over a dozen beers to choose from, including a rotation of seasonals and guest taps, it has options for nearly everyone. For something different, try the Chatoe Dirtoir Black Lager. Served in a bootleg-style mason jar, this malty beverage is like a light-bodied stout—heavy on the taste buds, easy on the tummy.

Rogue’s food offerings are just as flavorful as their beer. Kobe beef burgers, mahimahi tacos, sandwiches, soup specials and beer-crust pizza spike the menu.

When ordering a burger and fries, ask for a side of their wasabi mayonnaise. v

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Beer snobs Mary Breaden Photos by Kayla Nguyen

Last week, the Vanguard set out to solve the mystery of beer snobbery by conducting a good old-fashioned taste test.

Eight participants gathered on the first downpour of the season to make beer-drinking history and solve the ancient question: How cheaply can you buy beer and get away with it? Specifically, what does it take for your taste buds to protest and your guests to start looking as bitter as the cheap lager you purchased at Trader Joe’s?

The methodology of this beersearch (beer research) included a five-category ranking system: presentation, taste, body, flavor and palate sensation. Participants evaluated their beer samples in these categories on a scale of 1–10. At the end of each round, participants added up the points for a possible total of 50.

The testing was rigorous.

Participants were not allowed to leave the testing area (the kitchen) except to use the bathroom or to pet the often-yowling cat in the living room. Snacks were provided to keep the tasters’ energy levels up, and only once did the administrator of the project have to admonish three of the participants for huddling in the corner and chitchatting rather than filling out their beer test sheets promptly.

Research followed a progression from light (lager and pilsner) to full-bodied ambers and brown ale to dark beers such as stouts and porters.

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For the most part, the beers’ price points escalated as the tasting went on, beginning with the inexpensive Name Tag Lager and Simpler Times Pilsner from Trader Joe’s and ending in a blindfolded test between craft beer darling Deschutes Brewery’s Black Butte Porter and Boatswain Chocolate Stout, a cheap college student’s delight.

A few of the guests responded politely to the lower-income beers they sampled at the start of the taste test, providing delicate observations like: “Thin, light brown/golden apple. Bubbly,” or “No aftertaste, or hops, but still balanced,” or “I would rather drink this than PBR!” Others, such as fellow Vanguard reporter Andrew Morse, were more likely to respond with a humorously grim purse of the lips.

Onward the participants slogged through the “metallic” and “thin” beers, and were encouraged to stop whining and throw it back so they could move on.

Next was the cornucopia round of ambers in which not one, not two, but three ambers were sampled. (The writer of this article had an overabundance of this particular variety of beer in the refrigerator, given her preference for this smoothest, maltiest of beers.)

MacTarnahan’s Amber Ale— an ale that some beer drinkers enjoy with a slice of lemon—was poured, and a general sigh of relief overcame the testing quarters. Next, Full Sail Amber, which was the most caramel-flavored of the ambers sampled, and the

From high to low brow A $2 tall boy or a $5 microbrew: What’s the difference?

Oakshire Amber Ale, from an up-and-coming brewery in Eugene, were tasted, with average responses. Most testers felt Oakshire’s beer had a bitter aftertaste, while the MacTarnahan’s was the most popular beer of the night.

“YUMM!” wrote one tester, while another wrote that the palate sensations “feel good.”

(Notice the lack of IPAs among the tested beers? Could it be that there are different types of beer to be enjoyed besides the hoppy, palate-distorting India Pale Ale?) By far the most popular tasting round of the evening was the blindfolded round.

First, tasters compared the Lagunitas Pils to Simpler Times Pilsner and (drawing from their recollections of how that pilsner tasted in the second round of the tasting) participants were asked whether they preferred the Lagunitas Pils or the cheaper brand; surprisingly, Simpler Times won.

Perhaps the palates of the tasters were too boozy at this point? Just to be sure about the implications of the first round’s results, a second round of testing was launched. This time, it was Boatswain Chocolate Stout against Deschutes Black Butte Porter. Which one did they prefer?

The majority of tasters shocked the researcher by voting in favor of Boatswain.

During both of what became known as the “blackout rounds,” tasters were unanimously able to determine the difference between the cheap Trader Joe’s beer and the craft beer in both categories.

Usually tasters preferred the cheaper version.

Morse offered that every palate experiences beer differently, and it’s difficult to predict which beer a taster will prefer.

“Can I get a pint of that with a blindfold, too, please?” one of the more boisterous testers asked.

One taster thought perhaps women participants scored high marks in discerning craft beer from cheap beer because of their gender.

So rest assured, humble beer drinker, you will find a beer for your budget somewhere in between the “no aftertaste” of Name Tag and a yummy craftbrewed amber, with or without the palate revelations sent your way while you’re blindfolded and handed a plastic cup in a student researcher’s garage.

As last week’s study showed Portland State beersearchers, a student beer drinker should evaluate more than price when selecting a six-pack or filling up their growler.

If price is a consideration— and when will is it not?—try to conceive of an interesting progression, a poor woman’s tasting, if you will. Start cheap, spend $10 or $20 treating yourself and your friends to a few different craft beers, and then take a hard right toward your price point. Don’t waste your money on expensive craft-brewed IPAs, which will sterilize your taste buds for the night and prevent you from enjoying a variety of beer.

Follow our modest suggestions and by the end of the night you’ll be well on your way to making your own beer-drinking history! v

taste test Lagunitas pils:

A Czech-style beer, the Pils’ mellow hops, light floral notes and sunshiny-gold hue will leave you wishing for lazy afternoons.

black butte porter:

Like velvet on your tongue. Almost black in color, this mediumbodied brew caters to your “darker”side.

boatswain chocolate stout:

Deep, bold and rich, this chocolate-y beer will satisfy all your heavier beer cravings.

full sail amber:

Caramel delicious!

Hoppy but not too hoppy, this ale’s sweet and malty with a nice smooth finish.

McTarnahan’s amber:

With a bit of a bite and mild hoppiness, this coppery-red ale’s a palette pleaser.

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Cheap Maya Seaman

date Photo by Karl Kuchs

Classy cocktails for the college budget “You need three ingredients for a cocktail. Vodka and Mountain Dew is an emergency,” says Peggy Olson, Don Draper’s secretary on Mad Men. Words of wisdom if you work at a highpriced advertising agency and can afford good liquor. For the poor college student, sipping a fancy cocktail in a Manhattan executive suite is a few years away.

But that’s no reason to let your loan-saddled budget dictate your swank. Here are a few cocktails that can be made cheaply in the comfort of your own home, where the dress code is up to you.

Moscow Mule This drink became popular in 1930s Hollywood. Use cheap vodka, but splurge on extraspicy ginger ale like Reed’s, Blenheim or Hansen’s to give your mule a kick. The best part about this drink is that it is traditionally drunk out of a battered tin cup, making your favorite coffee mug a perfectly acceptable substitution.

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2 oz vodka 2 oz fresh lime juice 8 oz ginger ale Serve over ice

Cuba Libre

The king of the three-ingredient cocktail, the Cuba Libre is a basic rum and coke with a splash of lime. For the best flavor, make sure to really muddle the pulp out of the lime.

Mix the juice with the vodka first, then add ice, followed by Coca-Cola to taste.

2 oz white rum 1 lime Coca-Cola Serve over ice Lemon Drop Martini

Martinis

The preferred cocktail of James Bond; it doesn’t get any classier than this. Depending on the brand of vodka you buy, the lemon drop can be a deliciously inexpensive drink. And if you

don’t have a fancy martini shaker or wide-rimmed glasses, feel no shame in buying a children’s insulated sippy cup.

Chill it in the fridge before mixing, instead of using ice, and it functions as the shaker and the glass in one.

1/2 oz vodka 1/2 oz fresh lemon juice 1 tsp simple syrup or dissolved granulated sugar (When in season, crush three blackberries and add them to the mix for a tasty twist.)

Cape Cod

A drink with many faces, the Cape Cod starts simply with vodka and cranberry juice.

Add pineapple juice and it’s a Bay Breeze. Add orange juice and you’ve got a Madras. Add orange juice and schnapps and it becomes Sex on the Beach.

The possibilities are endless.

1 1/2 oz vodka 4 oz cranberry juice

1 lime wedge Serve over ice

Hot Toddy

When your immune system finally succumbs to Portland’s endless winter—but not so much that you’re willing to succumb to NyQuil—try a hot toddy. Often used as a cold remedy, this honeyed concoction will soothe a sore throat, ease a stuffy head and lull you into a cinnamon-spiced dream state.

2 cups water (near boiling) 2 tbsp honey 2 oz brandy 2 tsp lemon juice (save the rind) 2 cinnamon sticks (a dash of powdered cinnamon works too)

Toss in the used lemon rind once the ingredients are mixed. v

drink your beer… …and eat it, too

Beer me: Incorporating your favorite brew into a recipe can breathe new life into a home-cooked meal.

Maya Seaman Photo by Miles Sanguinetti

Cooking with beer is a venerable tradition that is finding new life among culinary craftsmen.

Thanks to the delicious effects of the craft beer movement, using beer as an ingredient has progressed far beyond the basic beer-battered fish and chips we are used to seeing on happy hour menus.

Now, I know what you’re thinking—cooking with beer seems like a waste—but hear me out.

The malty and hoppy flavors will not only perk up your meal, it will make your food taste like beer. And nothing goes better with beer than more beer.

Add a cup of citrusy IPA to a teriyaki stir fry, flavor your next hearty soup with a nut brown ale or get creative and add a little smoked vanilla porter to your French toast egg batter.

The possibilities are endless, but to get you started, here’s

my favorite recipe using an old favorite—Guinness.

Guinness chocolate cupcakes Perfect for the upcoming holiday season, these little Irish gems will have you jigging around the potluck table. If Guinness isn’t adventurous enough for you, try this recipe with Rogue’s Double Chocolate Stout, Maui Brewing Company’s Coconut Porter or Captured by Porches’ Halloween offering, Punctured by Corpses Undead Porter.

ingredients 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 2 cups sugar 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp baking soda 1/8 tsp salt 1 bottle (12 oz) Guinness

1 stick unsalted butter, melted 1 tbsp vanilla extract 3 eggs 3/4 cup sour cream Frosting 2 packages cream cheese (8 oz each), softened at room temperature 1/2 cup butter, softened 2 cups confectioners’ sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract (Add 4 tbsp of Baileys in lieu of vanilla extract) for an extra kick

Directions Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a medium mixing bowl, sift together the cocoa, sugar, flour, baking soda and salt.

In a large mixing bowl, mix the stout, melted butter and vanilla extract. Add eggs, beating one at a time. Add the sour cream and mix until smooth. Add the dry ingredients slowly in three parts, mixing after each addition until combined.

Place cupcake liners in a muffin tin. Scoop the batter equally into the muffin liners, filling each one 3/4 full. Bake for 12 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Cool before removing and frosting. Makes 24 cupcakes.

frosting Mix softened cream cheese, melted butter and vanilla (or Irish cream) until smooth. Sift in confectioners’ sugar, mixing after each addition until combined. For sweeter frosting, add more confectioners’ sugar to taste.

Store any leftover frosting in the refrigerator.

Another option is to buy ready-made chocolate frosting and mix in 4–5 tablespoons of Guinness or espresso powder using an electric mixer. v

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