Van13 10 15

VOLUME 68 | ISSUE 10 | OCTOBER 15, 2013

KPSU AIMS FOR LPFM

NEWS

OPINION

ARTS & CULTURE

SPORTS

Richard New dean Dawkins of the College discusses of his the autoArts, Robert Bucker, biography, An Appetite plans toforreach Wonder, out to at Portland’sState.

Portland art community. pg. 5 pg. 5

Obamacare: Horror movies Why with millions characters of Ameriwho knowno cans they’re longerinhave horror to think moviestwice and why you about seeing should a doctor. love them. pg. 9pg. 9

It’s treadmill time! Portland State gears up to bring renowned act OK Go to PSU. pg. 18

Timbers showcase their fighting spirits against the Sounders in a battle to first place. pg. 23

CONTENT NEWS OPINION COVER ARTS & CULTURE CALENDAR SPORTS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

4 9 14 17 21 23 COPY EDITORS

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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NEWS

TO END VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN, ‘START WITH MEN’

GEOFF WALLACE

On Oct. 9, anti-violence educator Tony Porter delivered his keynote speech, “A Call to Action: Creating Safe and Healthy Communities,” to a large audience of Portland State students, faculty and alum in the Smith Memorial Student Union ballroom.

As the co-founder of A Call to Men, an organization committed to ending violence against women, Porter is an international lecturer and activist. He has consulted with the White House, presented at the United Nations and worked with professional sporting organizations like the NFL and NBA. Drawing on themes related to Domestic Violence Awareness Month, the keynote called attention to the attitudes and behaviors that lead to and perpetuate violence against women, and devoted special attention to the young men in the audience.

“Tony Porter offers an example of how to be an ally in the movement to end violence against women,” said Jessica Amo, director of the Women’s Resource Center in an email. “He speaks from his own experience as someone who is actively addressing the ways in which gender socialization affected him and his behavior. His focus on talking to other men helps to shift the issue of violence away from being seen as a ‘women’s issue’ to one that needs to be addressed by our whole community.”

Porter lectured on stage before taking to the ballroom floor.

“We don’t really do podiums,” said Porter. “We really need space to be with the men and have conversations.”

With slideshows and questions that probed normative attitudes toward violence, Porter focused the conversation on student athletes in particular, noting that many of them will likely become

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coaches and play a defining role in the lives of young men.

“When you’ve got 40 young athletes crouched around you,” Porter said, pausing for a moment, “what a wonderful moment that is to talk about something other than football.”

Throughout the night, Porter moved among the crowd, frequently engaging audience members with questions and opinions as he explored and attempted to explode male stereotypes as outlined in his concept of the “Man Box.” “These are the ingredients we use to define what it means to be a man,” said Porter, noting admirable qualities such as respect, trust and strength before explaining the Man Box’s downsides, such as men inhibiting their feelings, limiting their language and hiding their weaknesses.

“This thinking presents a dichotomy—men are strong and women are weak,” Porter noted, later adding that it leads men to work hard to stay outside the “experience” of women—a collective behavior that divides both genders and keeps men from creating the space to have conversations about these issues.

As Porter sought to have dialogues that created “fertile ground” for bridging the gender divide, his interactions with the crowd seemed to produce unity, if not joy. At one point during a discussion of male stereotypes in movies, Porter called a group of male audience members to the front of the ballroom to ask why they liked romantic films.

One student, noting his general enjoyment of romantic films, admitted to being “a simp” to his girlfriend, a response that drew a curious look from Porter.

“Now I’m old school,” Porter said, “and you’re gonna have to

educate me. What’s a ‘simp’?”

The student’s proud response (“It means I’m whipped,”) sent Porter staggering backwards, grinning with his hand on his head while the audience roared with laughter.

Porter, however, quick to seize on teachable moments throughout the keynote, posed a followup question to the audience. “Instead of saying ‘I’m whipped,’ how about we just say ‘I’m in love’?”

Another poignant conversation drove home one of Porter’s central points. After asking a male student, Alex, about his feelings for his fiancee, Porter asked Alex to explain his love to three young boys up at the front of the ballroom. Asked what they thought, one of the boys responded that it sounded like a perfect relationship, and that hearing men talk like that “provides a positive influence for future relationships.”

Porter seized the moment to drive home a central point of the night. “It’s one thing to speak about the next generation,” Porter said, “but there’s something to be said about the urgency of now.” Thinking about the future, Porter wondered aloud about the day when Alex might see his potential daughter off to college, then examined some misogynistic components of today’s culture before questioning if she would be confronted with a similar culture of violence toward women.

“Will we have gotten worse?”

Porter asked, “Or will we be in the same place?”

Echoing a sentiment often attributed to Mahatma Gandhi, Porter presented a call to action in response to questions posed during the keynote speech: “Envision the world you’d like to see for your daughters,” he said, “and how you’d like men to be acting in that world.”

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

TONY PORTER leapt upon teachable moments during his two-hour presentation.

MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

“It’s one thing to speak about the next generation...but there’s something to be said about the urgency of now.”

Tony Porter

NEWS

AN APPETITE FOR RICHARD DAWKINS RYAN VOELKER

Can religion and science truly coexist?

According to Richard Dawkins, the answer is no. The critically acclaimed evolutionary biologist and author visited Portland State on Friday to promote his new autobiography, An Appetite for Wonder.

Hundreds of people were attracted to his talk on why the closest thing to a religion, for him, is science.

“What you believe is not important,” Dawkins said to the audience as he eased into an hour-long appearance on stage. “It’s about what the evidence shows.”

The notoriety of Dawkins’ lifelong campaign to, in his words, “cure” the world of religion, has brought him a mixture of both gracious support and vehement criticism. While some praise him for liberating them from their own religious lifestyles, others see his work as an offensive attack on their faith.

In response, Dawkins poses the question, “Why shouldn’t you offend people?”

Dawkins was accompanied on stage by Peter Boghossian, a PSU philosophy professor and author of A Manual for Creating Atheists. Boghossian gave voice to

a series of questions that touched upon mysticism, reason and the multitude of theories for why the universe exists.

“What would it take for you to believe in God?” Boghossian asked Dawkins.

After pondering the question for a moment, Dawkins was met with laughter when he answered, saying, “I used to say [it would take] the second coming of Jesus, or this great, booming voice saying, ‘I am God!’” With reddened cheeks, he added, “But the more probable explanation is that it’s a hallucination—or a trick by David Copperfield.”

Dawkins went on to explain that despite his responsibility as a scientist to remain unbiased, he admits there is likely nothing that could prove to him the existence of God. “Trouble is,” he said, “I can’t think what that evidence would look like.”

Following the conclusion of Dawkins’ and Boghossian’s public discussion, the microphone was turned over to audience members for questions. In one of the few questions that time allowed, one

woman asked Dawkins what his hope for the future is.

“I hope for a world in which everyone is rational and believes things only when there is evidence in favor of them,” Dawkins responded. “And does not believe things because of tradition, authority, scripture, revelation… but only because of evidence.”

A many-sided coin While few in attendance professed to holding religious beliefs, the event did draw a large number of self-declared “free thinkers” who shared in Dawkins’ sentiment of reason. Among a handful of booths at the event were representatives of the local chapter of the international group nonprofit Center for Inquiry.

“We promote reason, science and secularism,” explained Sylvia Benner of CFI. “Atheism is one of our agenda items, but our broader scope involves looking at how you form beliefs, reliably, through critical thinking.”

When asked if she thought that science and religion could coexist, Benner stated that she

personally finds them to be fundamentally incompatible.

“Religion starts with an answer, and seeks ways of supporting it,” Benner said, “whereas science begins with facts and adjusts conclusions accordingly.”

The notion may raise questions of whether faith versus science is even a fair argument.

Some free thinkers, however, still feel it’s an important conversation worth having.

“I don’t think anybody’s going to be satisfied with an answer, but I think it’s good that people discuss it,” said PSU student Rett Mutchler while working at a booth for the university’s debate team.

“I think people on either side can learn a lot from each other and at least appreciate why they hold to their beliefs,” he added.

Mutchler explained that as a member of the debate team, it’s necessary to maintain open-

mindedness in case he has to argue in favor of a point of view that he doesn’t personally hold.

So which side would he choose in the faith versus science debate?

“Well,” Mutchler pondered with a laugh. “I think it’s almost more fun to argue the faith side.

But everyone has their own moral system and value system, and I think it’s interesting how people develop them.”

RICHARD DAWKINS (LEFT) AND PSU PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR PETER BOGHOSSIAN engaged in a public conversation about science and religion.

JINYI QI/VANGUARD STAFF

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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NEWS

PSU SCHOOL OF SOCIAL WORK LAUNCHES NEW ONLINE MASTER’S PROGRAM

ANN CURRY-STEVENS (LEFT) AND SARAH BRADLEY are running the new online MSW program.

KAYLA NGUYEN/PSU VANGUARD

KENNEDY MARTIN

Scheduled to begin in fall 2014, the Portland State School of Social Work has announced that they will offer an online version of their Master of Social Work degree program.

Already the only school in Oregon with an accredited graduate social work program, PSU’s new online MSW program will also be the first in the Pacific Northwest.

The new program is constructed specifically for the nontraditional student.

“Many people who work in social services struggle to get to campus for classes while balancing work and family,” program

coordinator Sarah Bradley said.

“This new program will really impact access.”

The conception of this new degree is in part thanks to PSU’s recent effort to offer more online programs. Open to students everywhere, the program strives to embody the definition of a more flexible academic schedule. For example, most lectures will be recorded and posted for students to view on their own time.

Focusing on community and organizational leadership practice, the new program will help prepare students for careers in human services, policy advocacy and community practice. It also targets students already working in the field who are interested in improving their leadership skills

or want to learn more about community practice.

Students in the new program will follow a dictated course sequence, taking six to nine credits each term (fall, winter, spring and summer), and graduate after three years.

Students will only need to visit the PSU campus once at the beginning of each year for a three day intensive informational session in which they will meet the faculty and other students, as well as participate in some face-toface instructional time. While on campus, students will also have an orientation for Desire2Learn, the learning management system that will be used for the courses.

Entirely online, the courses will require that students stay

engaged and be self-directed.

Time management skills are a must for those who wish to succeed in this program.

Bradley believes that “some students will discover that this style of learning may actually be more appealing and help keep them accountable.” Those who are unsure if online learning would be a good fit for them can take a five minute assessment to help gauge their learning style.

Applications for the online MSW Program at PSU are due Feb. 3. The school will admit 40 students for the first year of the program.

For more information on and to take the online assessment visit http://www.pdx.edu/ssw/mswprogram.

Confirmation of PSU’s institutional board candidates delayed by Senate GEOFF WALLACE

Following a dispute in the Oregon Senate, the process for finalizing Portland State’s first institutional governing board is currently on hold.

PSU Associate Vice President of University Communications Chris Broderick said the dispute arose when Senate Republicans in Salem, Oregon took issue with some of Gov. Kitzhaber’s suggested staff and faculty appointments.

“The confirmations were delayed because some senators had questions about whether student, faculty and staff rep-

6

resentatives on the governing boards of PSU, [University of Oregon and Oregon State] should be voting members or non-voting members,” Broderick said in an email.

“In the bill passed by the legislature, that determination was to be made by the governor.

Gov. Kitzhaber decided that those representatives should be voting members of the boards at all three universities.”

Following prolonged debate from Senate Republicans over the full extent of power granted to Gov. Kitzhaber by Senate Bill 270, however, the Senate approval of institutional board can-

didates was ultimately delayed.

Alongside PSU, UO and OSU were granted the ability to create independent institutional boards with the passage of SB 270 in August.

As previously reported in the Vanguard, these boards will begin operation on July 1 of next year and will allow many decisions to be made at the university level, including the hiring of the president, salary rates for staff and faculty and land purchases for future development.

The boards will also operate as separate legal entities and set tuition levels, with additional oversight from the Higher Education

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

Coordinating Commission.

As outlined in the bill, each institutional board will consist of up to 15 members, nominated by an executive committee, including one student representative, one classified PSU employee and PSU’s president as a nonvoting member. Faculty, staff and student members will serve two-year terms, while other members will serve four-year terms.

After the bill’s passage, PSU established an executive committee to undertake the nomination process. As part of this search, the Associated Students of Portland State University initiated an interview process for PSU’s

student board member, eventually recommending Pamela Campos-Palma for the position.

A former U.S. Air Force intelligence analyst, Campos-Palma is the director of PSU’s Latina empowerment organization, Las Mujeres de la Raza, and works in PSU’s Veteran’s Resource Center.

Other notable nominees include former Oregon Supreme Court Justice Paul J. De Muniz, former Portland City Commissioner James Francesconi, and Port of Portland’s Government Affairs Director Tom Imeson.

According to The Oregonian, not enough Democrats were present for a full voting majority

during the Senate’s most recent voting session, meaning the confirmation of the board nominees has been postponed until the Senate reconvenes on the matter in November.

“Until then, the Oregon University System is still running all seven universities,” said ASPSU’s Director of Legislative Affairs Eric Noll.

Noll expressed there is little to be done about the boards until the Senate makes a decision.

“Our part at this stage is done,” he said. “We’re just looking forward to July 2014, when we can adjust ourselves to work with the board.”

NEWS

CHEMISTRY DEPARTMENT HOSTS WEEKLY SEMINAR SERIES GWEN SHAW

At 3:15 p.m. every Friday, about 200 people pack into room 107 in Science Building One to watch that week’s one-hour lecture as part of the chemistry department’s seminar series.

The Portland State chemistry department has been hosting these seminar speakers for decades.

“Inviting speakers from other chemistry departments across the country, and even worldwide, is one of the ways in which we chemists share our results with peers,” said Dr. Tami Clare, an assistant professor of chemistry at PSU who helped run the lecture series last year.

Dr. Dave Stuart, the assistant professor of chemistry who is in charge of planning the se-

ries this year, added that it’s also a great way to learn about research going on in the scientific community.

“It’s just a way for the students to become aware of current research areas and the most cutting edge research in their respective fields,” Stuart said.

Each Friday during fall, winter and spring terms, a different speaker is chosen to present their research to students and faculty. Aside from speakers being brought in from outside of PSU, master’s students and Ph.D. students within the university are able to present their own research or discuss an area of research they’re interested in.

This upcoming week, Clary Clish from the Broad Insti-

tute of MIT and Harvard will be speaking on metabolic profiling of human disease and model systems. The talks can be somewhat technical and hard to understand for someone who’s not in a scientific field, but non-chemistry students and the general public are welcome to attend.

“Non-chemistry students would get a sense of the sorts of research that takes place in chemistry today,” Clare said. “Speakers this term will be talking about metabolic profiling of human diseases, the use of an optoelectronic nose used to sniff out low amounts of chemicals and new materials for x-ray contrast agents, computer processors and bio-sensors (a tool used to detect or observe chemicals in a material).”

Stuart pointed out that the series is a good way for people to familiarize themselves with new advances in chemical research. He also mentioned that although chemistry is often associated with negative environmental impact, the field is making strides in a more positive direction.

“There’s really a lot of research going on, both in our department and in other departments that are working towards minimizing pollution [and] detecting various pollutants in the air and developing procedures that are more environmentally friendly,” Stuart said “Then there’s the whole biology side looking into the benefits of how chemical research can lead to better drugs.”

The seminars also give students a chance to connect to scientists with similar interests in the hopes of working with those researchers to gain vital research experience.

“I know it makes a real difference to some students’ academic careers,” said Dr. Erik Johansson, another PSU assistant professor of chemistry who worked on the series last year.

Last year, a chemistry department undergraduate student met with one of the visiting speakers and is now working in that professor’s lab as a graduate student. Currently, that student is working with one of the big researchers in semiconductor surface chemistry, and it’s all because they gave up an hour on a Friday afternoon.

“The department seminar series provides opportunities to start and foster collaborations,” Johansson said.

“It stimulates researchers to think about problems in new and exciting ways. I could go on and on here; the benefits are numerous.”

The idea of looking at things in new ways is something Johansson and Stuart both said are important.

“It’s so easy to get bogged down into the particulars of what you’re looking at for your thesis or something like that,” said Stuart. “And [these seminars are] a way to broaden your horizon in terms of other things going on in the industry.”

For a full list of this term’s lectures, visit pdx.edu/events.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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NEWS

PSU RECEIVES FEDERAL TRANSPORTATION GRANT JESSE TOMAINO

A few days before the federal government shut down on Oct. 1, it awarded a $2.83 million grant to the Oregon Transportation Research and Education Consortium to fund various transportation studies around the country.

OTREC is based out of and led

by Portland State, but it works in partnership with the University of Oregon, University of Utah, University of South Florida and Oregon Tech, formerly know as Oregon Institute of Technology.

OTREC is made up of several branches, chief among them being the National Institute for Transportation and Communities, which conducts and oversees the approved studies. The NITC’s goals, according to the institute’s website, are to improve safety, increase efficiency, optimize analysis of transportation data, better integrate transportation options with land use and make significant improvements to vehicle emissions.

With the Students in Transportation Engineering and Planning program, the NITC is able to ensure a high level of involvement from students and faculty with forward-thinking ideas.

“For each project, the principal investigator is a faculty member, and every project we’ve done involves student researchers as well,” said Justin Carinci, the communications director at NITC. PSU has more than 25 specialized transportation courses, so the STEP program acts as an incubator for ideas that vie for approval to receive NITC funding.

One of the current NITC projects that will receive funding will seek to create an application for smartphones to collect data about levels of bicycle and pedestrian service in order to identify areas where the experience of urban cyclists and pedestrians can be improved. The project is a collaboration between researchers at PSU and USF and will be tested in both Oregon and Florida.

Another project underway attempts to evaluate space reallocation and safety effects on how cities split up right-of-way on a roadway surface. Many of

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the different options for routing cars while limiting congestion have already been extensively analyzed, but there is still much to learn about how to keep these areas safe. PSU students and faculty are likely familiar with the complicated traffic patterns that emerge in a downtown area, where cars, bikes, pedestrians, streetcars, light rail, buses and the occasional unicycle are sharing one road surface.

With all of the projects the NITC chooses to pursue, they take a close look at the potential real world effects.

“If you build a hub with transit options but no one can afford to live there, then you’re not really affecting the people who take transit,” Carinci said.

Other aspects of transportation- and transit-oriented developments are being studied by the NITC as well. Andree Tremoulet, a research associate and adjunct instructor in the school of urban studies and planning at PSU, is leading a project about encouraging low-income families to make location-efficient housing choices, which could potentially improve lives by shortening commutes and increasing convenience of services. Robert Bertini, a civil and environmental engineering professor at PSU, is studying the connections between road vehicles and other kinds of transportation, looking at the links between vehicles and transit, bikes, and pedestrians.

Another project, overseen by Oregon Tech associate professor James Long, will examine the feasibility of reducing or eliminating emissions from large service vehicles—like garbage trucks—through the use of a hydraulic electric drive system for use at low speeds.

All the projects the NITC is funding are investigating transportation developments that could improve our urban areas in the future. The recently awarded grant will provide financial backing for two funding cycles, meaning important transportation research will be full speed ahead at PSU for the next couple of years.

JINYI QI/PSU VANGUARD

CRIME BLOTTER Oct. 7 Exclusion

Smith Memorial Student Union, second floor Officer David Baker and Office Denae Murphy contacted nonstudent Brandon Featherstone at 7:10 p.m., as Featherstone had been the subject in a call from earlier in the day regarding a potential charity scam.

Featherstone’s criminal history showed a trespass arrest stemming from similar activity in Salt Lake City. PSU exclusion issued to Featherstone.

Oct. 8 Suspicious Subject

Smith Memorial Student Union, basement Officer Baker received a report from non-student Conner Burnett regarding a male subject following her from the 300 block of West Burnside to the Food for Thought Cafe. Burnett stated the subject was an AfricanAmerican male, approximately 30 years old, approximately 5-feet-7inches tall and weighing approximately 250

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

Week of Oct. 7-Oct. 13

STEPHANIE TSHAPPAT

pounds, wearing an orange pullover sweater and possibly blue jeans. The subject made no physical contact or threats to Burnett but followed about 50 feet behind her mumbling to himself.

Oct. 10 Exclusion

Blumel Hall, southeast corner At 1:30 a.m. Officer Jon Buck and Officer Shawn McKenzie contacted and issued a PSU exclusion to non-student Travis Lindsey for camping in the above area.

Menacing

Lincoln Hall, southwest doors Officer Peter Ward received report from a student who stated he was accused of taking pictures of a subject while looking at messages on his phone and that the subject verbally threatened to shoot the student. There was no physical suggestion of a gun and no physical assault of the student. Suspect was a white male between 42 and 45 years old, approximately 5-feet8-inches and 170 pounds with a dark brown goatee, wearing a blue ski jacket, blue jeans and a blue baseball hat.

Oct. 11

Oct. 12

Theft

Exclusion

Epler Hall, sixth floor Officer Brenton Chose received a report from a student who stated that her $220 blanket was stolen from the laundry room between 10 p.m. on Oct. 9 and 3 p.m. on Oct. 10.

Arrest

Broadway residence hall At 5:44 a.m. Officer Buck and Officer Brian Rominger contacted non-students AJ Escalderon and Jessica Poitras, who were sleeping in front of the entrance doors.

Poitras had a PSU exclusion under the alias Hannah Andrews and was taken into custody for trespass. Inventory search of her backpack revealed one small ecstasy pill, three syringes with heroin residue and a cooker with oxycodone residue inside.

Poitras was issued a new PSU exclusion with her correct name and Escalderon was issued a PSU exclusion as well.

Smith Memorial Student Union, fourth floor staircase landing, north side At 11 a.m. Officer Nichola Higbee contacted non-student Roger Steinberg, who was settled in with personal belongings scattered around him and his shoes and socks off. Steinberg stated he was working out there and had just completed his pushups and sit-ups. Steinberg issued a PSU exclusion.

Oct. 13 Arrest

Southwest Hall Street/Southwest Sixth Avenue Officer Chris Fischer was flagged down by non-student Jason Pinard, who wished to report he had lost a knife.

Pinard had an outstanding warrant as well as a methamphetamine pipe and small amount of methamphetamine on his person and was arrested. No further information.

For full crime blotter listing visit psuvanguard.com

OPINION

GOT COVERAGE? WITH THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT, PEOPLE WON’T HAVE TO THINK TWICE

Everywhere and Here

by Eva-Jeanette Rawlins It’s here.

Amid all the politics, the grandstanding, the bitter diatribes and the tantrums, the Affordable Care Act made its way into the world. Unfortunately, its parents were too busy unsuccessfully fighting to prevent a government shutdown to give the bill its due attention. After one last weary push, President Obama’s pride and joy squeezed its way into the scene and became official. There were no flowers, balloons or cards. It just kind of happened.

For people like me who, for months, had been anxiously anticipating the first of October, it felt like a bit of a let down. The government shutdown and Ted Cruz and his cronies’ fight to keep Obamacare from seeing the light of day took center stage, and what should have dominated the headlines as the event of the decade became a sort of afterthought. On a menu, it would have been the last item on the back page where all the unexciting stuff is. An aftertaste—and a sour one at that.

According to an NBC News story, rising medical bills are expected to push 1.7 million American households into bankruptcy this year. Cruz, and those like him, have never faced the heartbreaking reality of bankruptcy, their house being foreclosed on or their savings wiped out just because they had the misfortune to get sick. What’s worse is that people like him could sabotage millions of other people’s chances of having healthcare—something that is an expectation in every other developed country in the world.

So, on Oct. 1, when I Googled “insurance exchange” with House Speaker Boehner and his buddies stomping and posturing in the background, I wondered if it would all turn out to be a pipe dream. Would I and the 48 million other uninsured people in this country check all the right boxes, only to find out there had been a sick joke played on us?

When Portland State made it a requirement to have insurance, I received my Aetna card in the mail and suddenly realized I could go to the doctor. The last time that happened was in 2006, when I worked for a huge corporation that could easily afford to provide me with benefits. I thought it was normal to have insurance. Fast-forward a few years, and I’d forged my way into the self-employment world, realizing all too quickly what a gift I’d had back then—what a luxury.

Aetna was a relief, but there was still that looming question—what would happen when I graduated? Yes, I had youth and a great immune system on my side, but then someone asked me, “What if you’re in an accident?” Then, all the other questions started occurring to me. What if I slip and fall? What if I get cancer or some other non-discriminatory disease? What if? What if? What if?

Last year, my husband, also uninsured, started experiencing horrible abdominal pain. We didn’t know what to do. So, we stayed in “wait and see” mode. How bad should we let it get before going to the ER? We waited about a week and then one night, when I woke up to him gasping for breath from the pain, I knew we’d waited too long. We took him to an urgent care clinic. All I could think was, why did we wait? How could I have put money before his well-being?

The answer was very simple. It’s the same answer that too many people in this country come to each day. We gamble with our lives because we’re afraid of how much a single test will cost. They’re not unfounded fears. Just to be seen by the doctor that night, we were charged $150,

BRITTNEY MUIR/PSU VANGUARD

“When I first heard the word Obamacare in 2008, I laughed because it sounded impossible.

Nice, but impossible. Affordable healthcare in America? Yeah, right.” and all he could tell us was that my husband had undiagnosed abdominal pain. Thanks. He offered to do a few tests but wasn’t sure they’d be conclusive. In our vocabulary, tests translated to hundreds of dollars.

For 48 million people in this country, this story is familiar. You know you need to go to the doctor, but the reality of a bill in your mail box with a few zeros on it makes you think twice. We should never have to think twice. Never.

When I first heard the word Obamacare in 2008, I laughed because it sounded impossible. Nice, but impossible. Affordable healthcare in America? Yeah, right. Then, when it was signed into law, I could have cried. I wouldn’t have to think twice anymore.

I get that it’s not perfect and that there are probably several wrinkles to iron out, but in a country of almost 314 million people, why would we assume anything like this would be straightforward? All I know is that I’ll take peace of mind over perfection.

I got that on Oct. 1 when I went to Cover Oregon’s website. In a few simple steps, on the world’s friendliest government forum, I saw a clear

and simple list of plans that matched my income, and what excited me was that they were doable. The deductibles weren’t sky-high and the maximum out-of-pocket expenses were realistic, not bank-breaking. I breathed a sigh of relief. We could do this.

The one snag I encountered was when I entered my income. A red error message popped up saying “enter a valid income.” My cheeks flushed, even though no one else was around. Were they saying my income was so low it didn’t make it into the valid column? Then,I discovered you’re not supposed to put a comma in the number. After that, it worked. Phew, crisis averted.

Plans won’t go into effect until January, and you can’t actually see any of the plan details right now without making an appointment with an actual human being. I know, how inconvenient, right? Regardless, I look forward to 2014, and I think of the night we will all shout “Happy New Year!” For the first time in a really long time, it feels like there’s hope for a heck of a lot more people in this country. Happy New Year it will be, indeed.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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OPINION

BECOMING ME IS GRAD SCHOOL REALLY WORTH IT? The Basement Troll

by Reid Tyler

We find ourselves in the midst of yet another term, and life (and our education) goes on. The freshmen jaunt through campus from one class to the next like the forest fauna of a Disney film. For those of us nearing the epilogue of our undergraduate adventure, the dark riddle of our rapidly approaching post-grad futures has begun to put a despondent drag in our step. The rain hasn’t helped.

This is the point at which we truly ask ourselves if we are on the right path. Did I choose the right major? Will I love my career in that legendary Confucian manner so emblematic of “the dream”? Will I have a career to love at all? Am I actually thinking out loud, or am I simply drawing stares with my strikingly winsome features?

Ring a bell? I thought as much.

Having thrust myself with all of my heart and all of my money (including the promise of my firstborn) into the study of the humanities, I have been looking at life with the funereal sentimentality of one seeing their final days of safety slowly slip away. With skyrocketing grad school prices, a diminishing cutthroat job market and no preset career path, what lies ahead for me remains an unheralded campaign.

My undergrad focus has congealed into an inordinate concoction. I am majoring in English, with a double minor in writing and medieval studies. Feel free to raise an eyebrow.

My dreams have drifted from SFX makeup (which I pursued), to audio engineering (which I pursued), to professional ghost hunter (which I think I attempted with a friend once, but never really pursued). Regardless of direction, I have always come back to writing, dusty books and academia.

As my undergraduate degree path may suggest, I would love to be a historical fiction author. That by no stretch means that I plan on becoming one. I am far too irresolute to be bound for that sort of letdown.

I am the sort of fellow who wants it all. I want a wife to spoil and kids whose lives I can ruin with absurdly erudite names like Faulkner, Desdemona or Charizard. I’ve never lusted after power or great wealth, simply enough of each that I no longer worry about unfounded disrespect or whether I can afford to eat. I am not willing to gamble my security on the dubious probability that I may actually write something worthwhile.

This realization has dragged me out of the clouds and planted me firmly in the actuality of the life that I want for myself. It doesn’t mean giving up on myself, selling out or any other such capitulating expression. It means re-framing my dreams in practical means. I still plan on writing that novel. In fact, I have been for two years, but my grail lies nearer to home.

Well, sort of.

All of this thinking has thrown me headlong into the search for qualifications, expertise, job security and specifically, continuing education. My question becomes, thus: Is grad school worth it?

Having seen the wealth of articles that attempt to answer this question, my aim is to ruminate rather than provide a conclusion (as is the way of all waffling English majors). Even with a myriad of

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evidence that suggests one path or another, this choice is individual and highly emotional.

Most of what it comes down to depends upon your chosen field and the position to which you aspire in that field. I will use myself as an example.

Investing your major in the humanities is a precarious decision, but for most of us, there really is no other option. If you are like me, you simply can’t see yourself spending your days elsewhere. It then comes down to what you want to do. Do you want to write? Teach? Research?

For medical and science majors, your educational provisions dictate precisely your career. The disciplines of history and English, however, apply to a dizzying scope of possibilities.

I have been and still am struggling with this very decision.

Do I focus on English and literature, bent on burying myself in academia? That leaves me bound to the violently political and competitive track of professorship if I plan on being paid.

Should I choose to steer my academic career toward the medieval history for which I have such affection? The potential for a decades-long tenure struggle are comparable. Government positions are also more likely, ranging from analyst, to translator, to consultant or expert witness.

Let’s choose medieval history. What would my requirements be?

Like a select few other fields, education level in history dictates not only the positions for which you can apply, but how much you will be paid. This means grad school.

Now, having such a focused sphere of study, where would I apply, and for which program? Assuming that a majority percentage of state schools are lacking in graduate courses in medieval Europe and its respective dead languages, that leaves the option of applying to a “good university.” This essentially means paying more money and having a fraction of the chance of being accepted, but wield-

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ing the authority which said university commands in the scholarly world (e.g. getting a better job).

In that case, where better to apply than the heart of medieval study itself? England.

I don’t know about you, but this consideration floods my mind with all manner of terrifying possibilities. International tuition rates, visas, foreign vs. domestic acceptance bias. The list goes on. Is it getting hot in here?

Nothing looks better on a medieval historian’s resume than having received an M.Phil in Anglo-Saxon at Oxford and a Ph.D with various research grants at Cambridge. Having no money for this, I would have to make applying for competitive fellowships and full-pay scholarships a 24-hour-a-day job, while simultaneously exacting a flawless GPA. Then upon acceptance, I would be looking forward to two to 10 of the most difficult years of my life.

I will ask again, is grad school worth all of that?

The only answer that rings with any truth is, it’s worth it if it’s worth it to you.

Not all worth equates to financial worth. A major factor that drives people away from grad school as an option is the extra debt. They say that a graduate degree more than pays for itself in your following career. I say, sometimes. The presupposition is that this career is one which caters to those with higher education (I don’t think you make more money for having a master’s degree in interior design).

The fact is, you have to balance practical rationality against your own emotional thirst for expertise.

I will spend my whole life learning, that much I know. I love it too much to steer clear of extraneous knowledge. The determining factor in where that learning takes me is a faraway man, and how much I want that man to be me.

WE THE PEOPLE

OPINION

How crowdfunding can change everything

The Rec List

by Katherine Palleschi The Internet is a marvelous thing. A terrifying, marvelous thing. It's full of creepy people and cat videos, yes, but it is also full of talented people trying to do amazing things, and sometimes they succeed.

One of the newest and most interesting trends on the Internet right now is crowdfunding, which is pretty self-explanatory: a crowd of people who like a specific project help fund it. Of course, there’s more to it than that, and several different ways it can work. The most popular venue for crowdfunding is Kickstarter.com, which may sound familiar to you if you’re a fan of Veronica Mars.

On March 13, 2013, producer Rob Thomas, along with actress Kristen Bell, launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund a full-length Veronica Mars movie. They had a month to raise $2 million. As with all Kickstarter campaigns, the project had different pledge levels depending on how much a person, called a backer, was pledging. A pledge isn’t a donation—Kickstarter projects only get the money that has

been pledged to them if they reach their goal. Only then are any of the backers charged.

This particular campaign had 32 levels, from $1 to $10,000. Each level only allows a specific number of people to pledge that amount, because each level has a sort of reward for pledging the money. The one person who pledged $10,000 to the Veronica Mars movie, for example, has a speaking role in the film, as well as several rewards from the other pledge levels. As with the pledge money, the rewards are only received if the project reaches its goal.

Fans have been begging for the film since the show was cancelled in 2007. While there is a precedent for rabid fans helping Hollywood production companies see reason and fund a movie that would wrap up a beloved but canceled television show (I’m looking at you, Browncoats), companies like Kickstarter are giving us, the consumers, the chance to choose what products are made.

And boy, did the consumers choose. The Veronica Mars campaign met its $2 million goal in 11 hours. By the time the 30 days was up and pledging closed, 91,585 fans had pledged $5,702,153.

You’re probably asking yourself the same question my mother asked me when I told her: “Why do I care about this?” Here’s why: How many times have you looked at something for sale—I don’t care what it is—and thought to yourself, “Why did anyone agree to produce such a thing?” It happens to me a lot. And how many times have you thought to yourself, “Man, I wish there was (insert product here) that I could have/read/watch/play with?” That happens to me a lot too.

What crowdfunding does, whether through Kickstarter or someone else, is give power to both the consumer and the creator.

Beyond a televisual reality ARE YOU TOO OBSESSED WITH TV SHOWS?

I have this problem where I quote television without citing my sources. I stole a line from Friends to ask out my first boyfriend, lifted a sardonic Nip/Tuck jab during a rather melodramatic high school squabble and Six Feet Under has been huge for my personal phraseology.

There’s more. In adolescence, I treated friendships in a particularly televisual manner. Aside from modeling my relationships (even the boring ones) after the rising action-climax-denouement structure, I generally compartmentalized emotional and moral eras in my life, as if writing my own show’s narrative.

I’d act especially misunderstood and weak for a few months, then have a catharsis, resulting in a new empowered me. It was like the change television characters make between seasons.

As I get older and begin to value authenticity, this happens less frequently.

However, thanks to the folks at Netflix, I recently watched The Office (U.S. version) in its entirety and became addicted. I started relying on the show to get me out of emotional funks, give me something to do while I ate lunch and make me feel better about my own workplace antics. Surely, I thought, if Michael Scott can play a wildly distasteful game for Diversity Day, I can make a few inappropriate jokes at work.

That thought brought me back to my old penchant for copycatting television. It occurred to me that I was doing more than just borrowing ideas. By copycatting television, I felt close to the people and places in the television shows I love. By acting like a character, I was virtually

Crowdfunding gives power to creators—artists, musicians, actors, writers, game developers, fashion designers, dance companies, inventors and so many more. It used to be a matter of finding something to create that would appeal to an overwhelming number of people—something that would sell—and a small number of investors to give you large sums of money.

Now it’s about finding the core group of people who actually care about what you want to create, and what’s more, want to help you create it by pledging however much they can spare.

I believe we have the opportunity to make a change in the kinds of things we spend our money on, and I think that's incredibly important. Crowdfunding has the potential to change the way that companies look at consumers. That, in turn, could change the way companies produce things, which, let’s be honest, is pretty cool.

Crowdfunding isn’t just for creative projects, though. Got a small business idea? A charity? A personal thing, like medical bills? There are crowdfunding platforms for all of those things. Along with Kickstarter, Indiegogo and RocketHub also fund creative projects. Crowdfunder is there for small businesses, CrowdRise is there for causes and charity, and GoFundMe has the opportunity for personal campaigns.

America prides itself on the power of democracy, right? Well, here it is. The power of individuals to make something happen. We the people, indeed.

As always, if there’s something that you’ve totally fallen in love with and want to tell the world about, let me know—I’m always looking for new things to love.

The Pop Culture Ephebe

by Joshua Benson

sitting in Central Perk, or the Scranton branch or the RV where Walt and Jesse cook.

That’s what episodic television does. It makes the audience privy to the “everyday” occurrences in the characters' lives, whereby some creepy viewers feel like a part of the televisual universe they’re watching. I see it everyday in people who heatedly discuss plot twists or debate a character’s moral fiber like it’s so much water cooler gossip.

In everyone’s defense, TV is a comfy place, free from realistic consequences. Nonetheless, it’s not real. The characters are in the hands of writers who decide their fate, and, Red Weddings aside, we can count on these writers to follow a certain set of guidelines based on audience satisfaction.

Some people forget that. So we have guys like William Duncan, a chemistry teacher who got busted for selling handmade meth in Texas—a man who, I think, leveraged how commonplace cooking meth looks after watching Breaking Bad into a nice little business venture of his own.

Do not mistake me. Just because I can see how TV nurtured Willy D into slinging glass does not mean I want television to censor its subject matter. On the contrary, I want viewers to recognize that after they’ve engaged in television (certainly, that’s what it’s there for) the rules of that mythology no longer apply.

Though Ross and Rachel made it, your ex probably won’t get back together with you after eight seasons. Dunder Mifflin didn’t fire Andy for putting his fist through a wall, but your boss will definitely sack

you for the same. The inmates of Orange is the New Black are not your friends, no matter how close you feel to them. Although, people like them might be your friends if you pull a Heisenberg.

I’d also like to touch on flagrant catch-phrase quoting. I’m talking about those pervasive, self-referential TV quotes that people randomly throw into conversation to test your knowledge, or look cool or whatever. To those people whose quoting invades my real life conversations, I have to say that letting television stand in for real communication in this way alienates everyone who has no idea what you’re talking about. It forces them to find out what you’re talking about, which is then reinforced as something they definitely don’t care about.

I dealt with you people when you were watching Family Guy in high school, then in my undergraduate years with Lost, and I’ve had it. Stop using obscure quotes to protect yourself from real conversation. It defeats the purpose.

Listen, television’s power to reach us so profoundly that we want to be a part of it and copycat it is actually a beautiful thing. It means we connect with it, and it can help put the banal daily struggles we face on hold. Television is also a place where lessons can be learned.

The problem is when we consider television our reality to the point where we lose ourselves in it. Don’t confuse the entertainment you consume for reality just because the latter is more painful, confusing and loose-ended.

Television will fabricate a weird imitation of you. Real life is the disaster where you may actually be found.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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OPINION

MUTT, NOT PUREBRED This, not that

by Chelsea Lobey So, you want a dog, huh? You think a corgi’s short legs are funny, and you think a pug's squishy face is oddly charming? Yeah, well, so do I. The problem is that these and other dogs are being bred in an extremely unhealthy and cruel manner.

Genetic mutations and other diseases run rampant in purebred dogs because the genetic pool they come from is considerably smaller than for mutts. It’s similar to the way inbreeding tends to cause health problems in humans. Inbreeding is inherently wrong for us, but for some reason, dogs are different. With dogs, society deems it perfectly okay to breed them for specific physical traits even when it causes a wide array of health issues.

Bulldogs are one of the most extreme examples of dogs that have been bred into dangerous genetic waters. The problems those poor dogs have to live with every day are numerous. Their heavy-set bodies give them joint pain in their little legs, their noses do not allow them to breathe properly, meaning they can’t run or play without running out of breath, their wrinkly skin is susceptible to infections and they can’t even give birth without human intervention. It is a life of unjust suffering.

Corgis are another example. While cute—and I will admit, they are goddamn adorable—corgis were originally sheep herding dogs. They are meant to chase things and run. A lot. Their instincts tell them to herd and chase everything they can find, and they have defiant, stubborn personalities. But they've also been bred with those tiny legs that can barely get them off the ground. It seems to me like a life of constant frustration.

It’s frustrating for the owners as well. Corgis look like lap dogs, but they are decidedly not. This has a tendency to surprise and mystify new corgi owners, who do not know how to handle a dog that is much more difficult than they thought it would be.

It’s not just the animals I have listed above that have health problems.

Nearly all purebred dogs are susceptible. According to petmd.com, some of the most common genetic problems found in purebred dogs include a higher risk of cancer and tumors, eye and heart disease, joint and bone disorders, immune system disorders and even neurological diseases like epilepsy.

While pure breeding itself poses significant health risks to the animals, there are a wide array of both responsible and irresponsible breeders in this country. The most horrible aspects of the industry as a whole come from the puppy mills. A large number of purebred dogs are born in puppy mills. These are essentially breeding factories that exist to turn a profit for the breeder, who has no invested interest in the dogs themselves—only the money.

Malnourishment, neglect and disease run rampant as the older dogs live solely to produce as many puppies as possible, despite the health

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concerns. Because these puppies are brought into the world under these inhumane conditions, they are often born with severe genetic defects.

The majority of the adorable pet store puppies you see in the mall are puppy mill puppies that are extremely likely to develop dangerous and expensive health problems. I can’t imagine how devastating it would be to buy an adorable puppy, only to have them come down with liver failure, a blood disorder, heart failure or cancer.

Dogs are simply not meant to breed in mass quantities, and they are not a source of profit. Buying from disreputable breeders only encourages and supports their business. It’s a matter of supply and demand. If people want a certain type of dog, the breeders will breed to meet those desires. If people want cute, short legs and squishy faces, that's what they will get, despite what's best for the dog.

Instead of supporting the inhumane treatment of animals, it is imperative that we instead consider the positive attributes of mutts. Often called “mixed-breeds,” these always-unique and everloving animals have a reputation of being healthier, heartier and longer-living because they have a more diverse genetic background, which means that the harmful genes have been selected out over time—think Darwin’s theory of evolution.

The best place to find a mixed-breed dog is at an animal shelter like the Humane Society. The Humane Society estimates that every year approximately 6 million to 8 million dogs and cats come into their shelters across the U.S., and roughly 3 million to 4 million of these animals are euthanized due to overcrowding and lack of resources. The dogs that live in these conditions desperately need someone to save them. They have a lot of love to give, if given the chance.

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One of the only downsides to adopting a mixed-breed dog from a shelter is that it can be susceptible to respiratory infections and other contagious diseases from being in close quarters with other unknown animals, but most of them are relatively harmless if treated quickly and effectively. And they pale in comparison to the generally incurable and quite unnecessary genetic diseases suffered by the purebreds.

There is also the added bonus that shelter dogs often come at a fraction of the price of a purebred, and it is hard to discount this factor.

You can't put a price on the love of a pet, but when a shelter dog is less likely to have health problems and just as likely to be full of unconditional love, why wouldn't you choose to save money while supporting the organizations that are working to save as many animals as possible, instead of the organizations that are selectively breeding painful and cumbersome traits into animals purely for aesthetic purposes? By choosing to adopt a mutt, you would literally be saving the life of a living being, and that is truly an admirable act.

Most purebreds are cute; that is undeniably true. And they look good walking on a leash, the same way you look good wearing a designer jacket or sitting in a brand-new car. But finding a dog isn't all about looks, is it? It most definitely should not be, and if it is for you, I think you need to seriously reconsider your priorities. Dogs are not status symbols. They are love machines, cuddle buddies, running partners and enthusiastic door-greeters.

If you want a dog, I highly recommend avoiding expensive dog breeders and pet stores and instead visiting your nearest Humane Society or other animal shelters first. There are an endless number of dogs who need care and a good home and want to give and receive love.

OPINION

STUDENTS RE-THINK PSU, PART ONE

10 WAYS TO BETTER THE STUDENT EXPERIENCE The Campus Critic

by Theo Burke

Earlier this year, Portland State allocated $3 million for the Provost’s Challenge, part of President Wim Wiewel’s reTHINK PSU initiative. The initiative asked faculty and departments, with a few student advisers, to “re-think” PSU through proposals for new technology initiatives.

What if the university asked the 28,000 students here—the students who pay 70 percent of the cost of their education now through tuition—to re-think PSU? Today we begin a countdown of 10 ways to improve PSU students’ academic and campus life through amenities, good practices and a new structure.

10. Brown bag it. Students who would like to bring their lunch from home have virtually no place to keep it refrigerated. I know of two student groups with their own small fridges, but even several more of those could hardly accommodate 28,000 of us.

Procuring a small battalion of full-size refrigerators for students would be a relatively small expense, but it would support students immensely and could bring about more nutritious eating and better student health.

9. Why copy that document in two seconds when you can spend two hours learning to scan it? PSU has eliminated copy machines for student use on campus in the name of going green and being sustainable. Instead, the university suggests we should scan our documents and print them.

PSU’s scanning software may have dozens of beautiful functions, but making simple copies is often not one of them. You can spend 45 minutes or more figuring out PSU’s scanning software. Or you could use a copy machine and take two seconds.

“Arg! That is so true,” said a senior French major. “And really annoying.”

We tried out a scanner on an iMac in the library’s first floor computer lab, first using the scanning software intuitively, then following the online help, then bringing over the OIT staff person to our workstation.

After 45 minutes, we still had no copy of our single piece of paper.

But we were green and sustainable.

PSU should restore a copying service for students. Remember, whenever any large organization talks about going green, they are also talking about going cheap. PSU can employ copy machines with economies of scale, using toner and paper more cheaply than we can at home with our inkjet printers.

8. Where have all the power naps gone? You can get better grades and refresh your brain if you take 20-30 minute naps, according to the National Sleep Foundation and other researchers.

But where can Viking sleepyheads go except for the kink-inducing vinyl chairs on the second floor of Smith Memorial Student Union?

Now, at least, the new Quiet Study Lounge on Smith’s fourth floor has

BRIAN NGUYEN/VANGUARD STAFF

some soft furniture that can be arranged to let you stretch out a little bit, with the Park Block trees rustling in your ears. But these chairs aren’t all that big or cushy. We are far from having a real crash lounge like there are at some other universities.

The University of Chicago has an enviable list online of their top 10 favorite napping spots. There’s a tea room with leather couches, grassy quads shaded by walls covered in ivy, a lounge with couches by a fireplace, a trophy room and even a point just off campus with a view of Lake Michigan. Jealous yet?

At Arizona State University, there is an exquisite crash lounge in the Memorial Union. The lounge has slit windows of stained glass, many cushy couches and chairs with big pillows that can be dumped onto the carpet, and a baby grand piano. Music majors come by and play quiet classical music or jazz.

But nothing beats the University of California Davis, which has a sleep research center! The center has produced a four-year napping campaign to boost academic performance, where sleep researchers and health professionals hand out nap kits and team up with the campus newspaper and student government to tout the benefits of naps. There’s even a UC Davis Nap Map online, showing dozens of prime napping spots.

Earlier this year, students at Harvard submitted a proposal to create a napping spot in the college’s famous Yard. What about us, Vikings?

Let’s begin our napping campaign now and demand the money for it.

The Davis researchers would say it could make us smarter.

7. Buy a clue on computer ergonomics. You could easily get carpal tunnel syndrome or back or neck pain at PSU computer labs.

You are reaching up too high to use your keyboard. It should be below the desk on a keyboard tray so that your forearms are parallel to the floor.

Your monitor is too close to your eyeballs. It should be two to four feet away from you—four feet for eyeglasses wearers.

Computer mice are one of the top five contributors to carpal tunnel syndrome in society. Wherever possible, they should be replaced by touchpads or trackballs. Apple makes a freestanding bluetooth track-

pad that could run the iMacs elegantly with the gestures commands.

Right now, if a student attempts to arrange her workstation ergonomically during a work session, she’ll get comical results. The cables to the keyboards and mice are locked and don’t yield enough slack to place them properly. Rarely can students push the monitor back to its proper distance without risking knocking it off its perch. And most of the keyboards OIT uses for the iMacs are tiny, with tiny keys resembling Fisher Price models for four-year-olds.

Keyboard trays and trackpads would go a long way toward solving this, as would simple adjustments to cable lengths and monitor distance. The money should be lying around; after all, we now have new color monitors in many of the computer labs, showing us the obvious and observable—which seats are occupied and which ones are not. If we have money to waste on that silliness, then we have money to spend on the basic tools to keep students free of carpel tunnel syndrome and eyestrain.

6. The right to know what the heck is going on. How many times have you gone into the eighth, ninth or 10th week of the term without being completely sure of your tabulated scores in a class, your current grade standing or what you need to do on the final to get the grade you want?

Probably most of the time. Some teachers post this information on D2L; most do not. Unless you are keeping your own spreadsheet of every score you’ve received, you may have an incomplete understanding of where you stand in the class.

To this end, instructors should be required to provide a progress report after the eighth week. Students should also be entitled to automatic notification of the score on their final exam or final paper.

I propose this for any class that uses a point system in its syllabus, which covers many departments, colleges and disciplines. Some creative classes, such as writing classes, have a different way of grading that does not rely on a weighted points structure. I give them a pass.

Check out next week’s issue of the Vanguard for the top five ways to improve PSU for students.

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COVER

KPSU AIMS FOR LPFM WHITNEY BEYER

Hidden deep in the basement of Smith Memorial Student Union there sits an unimposing set of stairs; the kind of staircase most people don’t even take note of unless they’re deliberately searching for it. Even those who actively seek this elusive gateway to the heart of the building can be made to feel like they’re searching for the Room of Requirement at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Put simply, the sub-basement of Portland State’s most well-traveled building is hardly a campus hotspot, and if the average student knows anything about what lies beyond the door at the bottom of the stairs, it usually has to do with the trash dock. Little do they know there’s a fully functioning radio station—staffed by 11 paid students and upwards of 60 to 70 volunteers—all fighting for a chance to amplify their voices over the city’s FM airwaves.

PSU’s student-run college radio station, KPSU, turned 19 on Oct. 1, but the real celebration is set to take place tomorrow evening at the station’s 19th Birthday and LPFM Party.

The event will feature Karaoke From Hell, a five-piece band that asks audience members to get on stage and sing with them. McMenamins has promised to donate 50 percent of all food and drink sales to the student-run station’s LPFM fundraising efforts.

For nearly two years now, KPSU staff have been diligently preparing for the day the Federal Communica-

tions Commission would open a rare licensing window for LPFM applications.

In the world of radio, an LPFM is a low-power broadcast signal transmitted over FM airwaves that reaches a smaller area than its neighboring conglomerates.

“Basically, what it means for the listener, is a citywide signal on the FM dial,” said Promotions Director Gabe Granach.

Licenses for LPFMs are free, and only nonprofit organizations such as KPSU can apply for them. But licensing windows are also rare, and the number of available channels is significantly less than the number of

PRODUCTION EDITOR PETE BEJARANO uses Logic, a piece of audio editing software, to fine-tune some music.

MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

hopeful applicants.

The FCC was slated to open its first LPFM licensing window since 2000 today, with the deadline for applications set for Oct. 29. Due to the partial U.S. government shutdown, however, that window has been further delayed.

“Everything that was supposed to be submitted during the shutdown window will be due 24 hours after they reopen,” Granach said. “So what that means is that

See KPSU on page 16

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COVER MUSICIAN NATHAN REICH performs live in the KPSU studio.

KEVIN ELTON (LEFT), a former student at PSU, speaks as a guest on Ian Uponen’s radio show, Ian’s Hour of Musical Power.

MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

KPSU Continued from page 15

CHRISTOPHER PERALTA/PSU VANGUARD

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there’s going to be a pretty serious backup, and that the already lengthy waits for the FCC to process things is going to be even longer.”

“Hopefully this gets figured out quite soon,” he added. “Because we’re raring to go.”

Tomorrow’s 19th Birthday and LPFM Party—which will start at 7:30 p.m. at Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom—was strategically planned for the day after KPSU had anticipated submitting their application.

With the shutdown still in effect, Granach said the event will just be more of a birthday celebration now. He’s not too discouraged by it, though.

“After two years, what’s another—I don’t know, hopefully it’s not longer than a month,” he laughed. “I guess all we can really do is smile and wait.”

Keegan Meyer, who stepped into the role of station manager in June, is confident that KPSU will get approved for one of the highly coveted LPFM licenses after the window opens.

In addition to meeting five of the six FCC requirements for licensure, the station’s freeform radio format, which allows DJs to broadcast whatever kind of show they want, is relatively rare.

“There isn’t a college radio station on the Portland FM spectrum,” Meyer said. “It is a very homogenous market.”

If KPSU does receive an LPFM license, Granach said the possibilities are endless. He sees Portland as lacking a station that caters to upand-coming local bands, as well as a station that reflects the diversity of the city’s young culture.

“I think a lot of the future of the station is kind of hinging on this LPFM application,” Granach said. “It’s really a make or break time for the station.”

Meyer estimates five to six LPFM licenses up for grabs in the Portland area, and he feels strongly that KPSU deserves one of them.

“I think having an FM signal [would] be a huge game-changer,” Meyer said. “Because PSU has 30,000 diverse student backgrounds, we [would] be able to be much more of a pipeline for students to amplify their voice and experience.”

With windows slated to open in markets across the country, Meyer is hopeful this LPFM window will lead to a culture-enhancing revolution in broadcast.

“This is going to be such a golden-age movement for radio, and to be a part of that is going to be really helpful in letting people know that KPSU is back on the air, that we have a college radio station,” he said.

Meyer, who likes to joke that he’s been with the station longer than he’s been at PSU, got his start as a volunteer DJ during summer 2010, right before his first term of classes.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

He arrived to KPSU just two months after the station went silent over the airwaves due to a lost time-sharing agreement with KBPS 1450 AM, a local station owned by Portland Public Schools. The station has been limited to streaming online at kpsu.org ever since.

“As soon as the 1450 AM slot came off [the air], it was what we call the dark ages,” he said.

The dark ages, according to Meyer, were characterized by apathy, ego and a deliberate abuse of participants’ privileged access to studio equipment. It wasn’t until last year when former station manager Jay Turk stepped into the leading role that the culture began to shift.

“Jay was such a colorful and warm, fuzzy spirit, and he had been here for so long,” Meyer said. “[He] should’ve been a manager earlier but the Publications Board decided not to hire him, and the station suffered the consequences, unfortunately.”

Meyer credits Turk with restoring values to KPSU and cultivating a spirit of unity among the staff and volunteers—the roughly 60 to 70 DJs who donate their time to produce regularly scheduled programming for the station. “[Volunteers] make our vision happen,” Granach said. “Everyone’s job is really to help the volunteers anyway. It’s not like we’re just here to play radio with our tiny little group; it’s about the entire station.”

Volunteer DJs are both students and non-students from the Portland community, the latter of which must pay a fee to host a show. A few of them have been with the station for as long as 18 years.

Meyer said some volunteers land at KPSU because they are fascinated with the idea of media, and others simply because they want to get involved on campus.

“It seems like a lot of people come here because they don’t have anywhere else to go,” he said. “They’re in college, they want to make the most of their experience, and then they come here and are like, ‘Oh my god, everyone is so warm and welcoming!’”

Granach, who stepped into the picture after the dark ages had already ended, said that everyone who is currently a part of KPSU has a genuine love for the station.

“None of us are getting paid enough to be down here without wanting to be here,” he said. “We’re having fun, and people can see that; it’s starting to sort of permeate into the whole structure of the station.”

While hopes at KPSU are certainly high given the years of work staff have dedicated to the pursuit of an LPFM signal, Granach doesn’t see a denied application as the end of the world.

“Would it be soul-crushing? No. It would definitely put a stop to the vision that we’ve been working toward for the last couple of years, but to me, that wouldn’t be a cause to stop at all,” he said.

Meyer shares this sentiment. The important thing, in his opinion, is that they tried. “I don’t think I could feel disappointed or ashamed at all if it weren’t to go through,” he said. “If it doesn’t, it was still worth our time.”

ARTS & CULTURE

DONTCHA KNOW? FARGO COMES TO 5TH AVENUE CINEMA FINDING THE AMERICAN EXPERIENCE IN ‘FARGO’ ANDREW ECHEVERRIA

“One of the best films I’ve ever seen,” raved legendary critic Robert Ebert.

“All copies of this stereotype-reinforcing, overly violent piece of junk should be destroyed,” ranted the unread news periodical The Brainerd Dispatch.

Depending on whether or not you’re speaking with someone from the north-central states (specifically the western and eastern borders of North Dakota and Minnesota, respectively, which is as north and central as you can get), you will more than likely get a positive response when inquiring about the Coen brothers’ sixth feature film, Fargo, which is playing Oct. 18–20 at Portland State’s 5th Avenue Cinema.

But why should anyone give a “hi hello” about Fargo?

“This is a true story,” reads the opening credits of the film. “The events depicted in this film took place in Minnesota in 1987. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred.”

Leading off with the preceding passage, Fargo tells the darkly hilarious intertwining tales of Jerry Lundergaard (William H. Macy) and Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand, in an Oscar-winning performance): two eccentric Midwesterners who serve as vessels on opposing spectrums of the American experience.

Lundergaard, a corner-cutting entitled American desperate for the money and power he feels he deserves, resorts to hiring criminals to kidnap his own wife in an attempt to net a hefty ransom from his wealthy father-in-law.

Gunderson, a hardworking bluecollar American, is the unassum-

ing chief of police in tiny Brainerd, Minn., who follows the trail of chaos that Lundergaard’s hired hands inevitably leave in their wake, despite the fact that she is seven months pregnant.

These two reveal the furthest corners of our ability in facing the challenges presented by our society, our most clandestine ambitions and our more luminous aspirations. Hanging precariously on a wire between bleak introspection and fantastic humor, Fargo leads an all-star cast—including Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare—into a nightmarish caricature of Midwestern America and, arguably, America as a whole.

Just how much of Fargo is factually based?

According to the Coen brothers themselves, who also wrote and directed The Big Lebowski and No Country for Old Men, the film is based on a mish-mashed collection of real murders that occurred throughout the U.S. Most notably (and without ruining anything for those who have yet to see it), Fargo draws much inspiration from the murder of Helle Crafts, a case in Connecticut involving a woman who was shoved into a piece of heavy machinery used for the convenient disposal of wood—among other things—by her husband.

“The basic events are the same as in the real case,” said director Joel Coen, “but the characterizations are fully imagined… if an audience believes that something’s based on a real event, it gives you permission to do things they might otherwise not accept.”

So while the “true story” tag may be a bit of a stretch, Fargo retains a realistic approach in its pursuit of a great American story.

Fargo is pure Americana. It is a film about our thirst for control

and power over minuscule situations, each other and our own lives. The Coen brothers playfully dissect the brightest and darkest aspects of our humanity and nature, tugging out each fleshy organ to present them bloodyhanded in front of our eyes. It is a film of vital importance to our culture and experience. In fact, I would argue that Fargo is one of the most important American films made within the last generation. This may sound hyperbolic, and I don’t fault you for making me out to be biased and maybe a little sentimental. My passions notwithstanding, Fargo was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress in 2006 for being “culturally, historically or aesthetically significant.”

“I think it’s the Coen brothers’ best film,” said Matt Ellis, cinema coordinator at 5th Ave Cinema. “It’s one of the most important movies about the late 20th century American experience and…it’s just a good movie. [You can] just forget about reading into it; it’s a fun movie to watch.”

Fargo closes with the expectant and hopeful line, “Two more months…” which is, coincidentally, the same amount of time we have to wait until the Coen brothers’ newest film, Inside Llewyn Davis, opens for wide release. In light of this, the ability to catch Fargo over the weekend is a welcome chance to tide ourselves over while waiting for Llewyn Davis’ arrival in December.

5th Avenue Cinema is free for Portland State students, $3 for other students, $4 general admission. Visit 5thavenuecinema.org/ upcoming-films for showtimes and a full schedule of other films being screened over fall quarter.

©GRAMERCY PICTURES

5TH AVENUE CINEMA PRESENTS

FRIDAY OCT. 18 7:00 p.m.

9:30 p.m.

FARGO 510 S.W. Hall St. Portland, OR 97201 $3 General Admission, Free for Students

+

SATURDAY OCT. 19 7:00 p.m.

9:30 p.m.

SUNDAY OCT. 20 3:00 p.m.

= $6.75

FREE FOUNTAIN DRINK WITH WRAPPIT!™ FRIDAY, AFTER 3PM | SATURDAY - SUNDAY, ALL DAY Choose any medium Yumm! Bowl™ and we will “Wrappit!” in a big, warm tortilla for a Beautiful, Delicious, Nourishing™ handheld meal.

PSU Rec Center, 1806 SW 6th Ave 503.226.9866 | cafeyumm.com Offer excludes alcohol and bottled beverages. Valid at above location only; expires 12/30/2013. Each Café Yumm! independently owned and operated by members of the community.

Lizzieout, Inc. dba Café Yumm! - #100010.

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ARTS & CULTURE

OK GO GETS PSOM PORTLAND’S MARCHFOURTH MARCHING BAND TO OPEN FOR CHICAGO-BASED HEADLINER BLAKE HICKMAN

OK GO is coming as part of Portland State of Mind. ©2013 BB GUN PRESS

Feel like there’s nothing worth doing on campus? What if you could see one of the most exciting bands in the country perform live for about as much as a Subway Value Meal, right here at Portland State?

Portland State of Mind, an on-campus community celebration with over 50 events, culminates in a live performance by the world renowned OK Go at the Peter W. Stott Center on Saturday, Oct. 26. Local MarchFourth Marching Band, who have built a growing legion of Portland followers with their dance-inducing live act, are set to open the festivities.

For those not familiar with OK Go, it’s worth checking out their iconic low-budget music videos, like the one for the song “Here It Goes Again” in which the band dances on motorized treadmills.

The band’s recent material includes the 2010 dance-funkmeets-dream-pop album, Of the Colour of the Blue Sky. Apart from their music, OK Go is also known for being one of the most progressive bands, supporting causes like Hurricane Katrina relief, net neutrality and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

In an era where most bands turn to outlets like Twitter and Tumblr to promote themselves, MarchFourth Marching Band has built their audience the old fashioned way: through blistering, exuberant live performances.

Other than fun, the key word to describing their live set is “eclectic.” Their songs range from funk to jazz to global textures, including the styles of eastern Europe, Brazil and Africa.

The concert is possible because of a collaboration between KPSU, Portland State Professional Sound and the PSU Programming Board. The organizations were able to bring the bands to PSU, leaving the door open for other acts in the future.

“I think it’s great to see such strong support from the university for an event like this,” said KPSU Promotions Director and Event Organizer Gabe Granach.

“I think we’re all hoping this event is a huge success that will lead to even more on-campus events.”

Tickets are only $10 with a student ID and $18 without, which is still substantially less than these bands typically charge when playing other venues in town. Tickets are available for purchase at the PSU Box Office.

JORDAN MOLNAR

DANGIT that’s

SPICY VEGAN CURRY INGREDIENTS Serves: 6 | Costs: $12-15 4 potatoes, peeled and cubed 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1 yellow onion, diced 3 cloves garlic, minced 2 teaspoons ground cumin 1 1/2 teaspoons cayenne pepper 4 teaspoons curry powder 4 teaspoons garam masala

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1 piece fresh ginger root, peeled and minced (1 inch or to taste) 2 teaspoons salt 1 can diced tomatoes (14.5 oz) 1 can garbanzo beans (chickpeas), rinsed and drained (15 oz) 1 can peas, drained (15 oz) 1 can coconut milk (14 oz)

So. Curry. It’s a thing. You have probably heard of it and possibly never made it before. That’s alright, we can get through this together. We will start with the easiest and most violent part of the recipe: You are going to need to cut up all of those things that need to be cut up. The potatoes will need to cook for the longest amount of time, so beginning with those is a wise choice. Peel, cube and place them into a pot of salted boiling water until they get to a point where they are tender. It’s probably going to be around fifteen minutes, so you can also cut up the rest of the things that need to be cut up to save some time.

When the potatoes are done boiling, remove them from the stove, drain the water from the pot and set them aside. Don’t worry, they’ll be fine for now. They need to steam dry for a while. Seriously, just leave them where they are for now. You have other things to worry about, like heating your vegetable oil in a skillet. Medium heat will do; you don’t want to get too crazy with the heat. You really don’t want to burn your dinner, and oil can get really hot if you give it the chance. You are not trying to execute your veggies medieval-style. You just want to stir in your onion and garlic until the onion turns translucent, which takes about five minutes or so.

After the onions are looking good and glassy you can throw in your cumin, curry powder, garam masala, ginger and salt. Go nuts! Cook this mixture for about two minutes before you add the tomatoes, garbanzo beans, peas and potatoes. It is at this time that you turn it all down to a simmer and add your coconut milk. Remember, this is a vegan recipe— no coconut livestock were harmed or exploited to make your dinner.

After simmering for five to ten minutes, you can likely enjoy your meal completely guilt-free!

Curry is a great dish, and one of the best things about it is the fact that you can make it so many ways. Feel free to experiment with your veggie combos and types of curry powder or spices. If you want to add some meat or tofu, you can do it. Chicken, pork, beef—it’s all good in a curry and entirely up to you to use or not use. You can eat it plain or throw it over your favorite kind of rice. This recipe makes about six servings, so you can even share it if that’s the sort of thing you’re into.

The important thing is that you actually can make it, and you should be very proud of yourself.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

CORINNA SCOTT/PSU VANGUARD

ARTS & CULTURE

A NEW HOPE FOR STAR WARS DARK HORSE COMICS PRESENTS

© 1986-2013 BY DARK HORSE COMICS INC. AND ITS RESPECTIVE LICENSORS

TRISTAN COOPER

Star Wars might have the biggest expanded universe of any franchise. With so many books and video games, it’s tough to know where to start if you’ve just watched the movies. Dark Horse Comics is pushing its new comic series, simply titled Star Wars, as the place to start. The first collection has just been released in a hardcover collection.

Written by Brian Wood and drawn by Carlos D’anda, the book takes place right after the original movie following the destruction of the first Death Star. This makes it easy for pretty much anyone of reading age to pick up the comic and know what’s going on, as Star Wars is one of the few givens when it comes to common movie knowledge.

Wood has a real challenge in making this story exciting.

Because we already know what happens to the characters we care about, there are no stakes when it comes to dangerous situations. In one scene, Han Solo admits “I’m not dying here!” during a fight scene with some Stormtroopers, and we all know it’s true—he still needs to live to be frozen in carbonite in The Empire Strikes Back and later rescued by Luke and Leia in Return of the Jedi.

Instead of inventing some massive world-ending conflict that secretly happened between two movies, Wood builds upon implications from the first movie that weren’t explored in subsequent films.

Part of the story revolves around Darth Vader and his quest for redemption. His boss, the Emperor, is understandably a little miffed that his moonsized space station was blown up on Vader’s watch. Stripped of his ship in favor of a young, lantern-jawed upstart, Vader has to find a way to get out of the galactic imperial doghouse he has found himself in. And he’s not playing around; those who cross him find that Vader doesn’t have time for the traditional Force-choking run-

around, instead favoring a more classic method of punishment.

On the light side of the Force, Leia is tasked with heading up a kind of starfighter black ops team, one that may or may not have a spy among its ranks.

Between secret missions, spyhunting and struggling with her feelings of Luke, Leia has no choice but to bury her grief for her home world, Alderaan, and the billions of citizens that were annihilated by the Death Star.

Aside from a slow start, the book is well-paced and full of fun moments (usually involving Han and Chewbacca) in between the self-serious space opera plotting. The ending wraps up a few story threads while leaving many more dangling, more like the episode of a TV show than a cohesive standalone film. More volumes are on their way, promising to explore finer points introduced in the initial arc, like Vader’s new middle-aged female protege.

Star Wars comes with high expectations from fans, especially dealing with its most established characters. Wood does an admirable job of capturing the essence of the major players—there are no lines that seem off-key, no actions that seem out of place.

Though no character is given inner monologue, sometimes an omniscient narrator chimes in with a tone that echoes the famous opening scrawl at the start of each film. It can be helpful at times, explaining details and recapping particular histories, but in some cases it can be a nuisance.

In one scene, the yellow narration boxes simply explains what is happening during a

space battle, culminating in a single box reading “And then…” followed by an explosion. Narration isn’t necessary here—the visuals should be enough to carry the action, and the yellow boxes only slow down what should be an exciting scene.

Artist Carlos D’anda is more than capable of handling a space dogfight on his own. The various ships and star cruisers are probably the best-looking in the book, meticulously detailed down to the circuit-like surface of a Star Destroyer.

In the cockpit, we see that Luke and Leia aren’t perfect replicas of their on-screen counterparts. Whether artistic choice or contractual obligation, the characters from the movies look less like actors and more like, well, buff and buxom comic book heroes. It works because it’s consistent with the rest of the world within the comic, but sometimes it’s easy to confuse the generic strong chin of Han Solo with that of bit player Wedge Antilles.

Filling in the lines is colorist Gabe Eltaeb, who knows how to light blaster fire just as well as he knows the tint of a space helmet visor. Maybe most impressive is his Vader, whose iconic solid-black garb can’t be easy to color in a provocative way, as Eltaeb does.

Dark Horse has scores of great Star Wars comics to choose from, but it remains to be seen if Disney’s acquisition of the franchise (thus bringing it under the same house as Marvel Comics) will affect its legacy going forward. For now, Wood, D’anda and Eltaeb’s Star Wars is good place to get started with a lot of potential.

DARK HORSE PRESENTS STAR WARS, VOL. 1: IN THE SHADOW OF YAVIN Brian Wood, Carlos D’anda, Gabe Eltaeb $19.99 hardcover, $10.99 digital Available at bookstores and comic shops everywhere and at darkhorse.com

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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ARTS & CULTURE

CLEVER GAME

©BEATSHAPERS, ©TATEM GAMES

Vogster Entertainment and Tatem Games present Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter HD Platform: PSN Price: $12.99

HUNTING DINOSAURS IS BETTER THAN EVER, KIND OF BRANDON STALEY

Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter HD is a solid remastering of Carnivores 2 on PlayStation® Network, a dinosaur hunting simulation game originally released for the PC in 1999. While the pacing and lack of story render the new game incapable of competing with modern shooters, that doesn’t seem to be its aim. Instead, Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter HD is about breathing life back into a genre long extinct.

In Hunter HD, you play as a space-faring hunter who has caught wind of a planet full of dinosaurs. Before descending to bestow your taxidermist wrath upon the unsuspecting reptiles, you have your choice of stages, weapons and perks. Weapons and perks are unlocked using the game’s currency, which is accrued by bagging dinosaurs.

Perks are indispensable for tracking and remaining concealed from dinosaurs. Stages are unlocked using trophy points, which serve only to unlock more stages and signify your leaderboard ranking. You get more cash and trophy points for killing better quality dinosaurs, which is largely dependent upon the weight of the beasts. You can save trophies from your hunts, in the form of stuffed and mounted dinosaurs, if you buy a license for a particular breed prior to embarking.

At its core, the game is surprisingliy relaxing. The alien landscape has been lovingly remastered. Certain stages are picturesque at dawn and dusk, but foreboding when a layer of fog is applied. The opening stages, which are free of carnivores, are pleasing to explore. Pterodactyl circle overhead and perpetually startled gallimimus skitter past you. The accompaniment of certain ambient sounds, like a waterfall or birds chirping in trees, make the sometimes-plodding speed of the game, in which you can go for minutes without seeing a dinosaur, not only bearable but enjoyable.

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Adding to the laid-back nature of the game, failure is downplayed to the point that you might not realize you had died on a hunt unless you were paying close attention. When a predatory dinosaur tracks you down the screen simply fades to black. You’re not forced to view your gory dismemberment. There’s no “game over” or “you died” screen dripping with blood. It’s a very civil affair, your evisceration. The game's philosophy on death can be summed up by a tip frequently seen on loading screens: “Got yourself killed? No worries, just try again.”

The game even counts all the kills you got during a round in which you die. If you’re paying attention, though, you’d be hard-pressed to actually die. The evacuation mechanic, the only way to leave a hunting ground besides death, is instantaneous. You can beam yourself out of trouble at a moment’s notice. The only truly stressful moments arise when you have to mark a dinosaur as a confirmed kill, which happens automatically when you get close to a downed dinosaur, and you never know what might have been alerted by your gunshots.

The more zen-like moments of the game can sometimes be disrupted by the sloppy sound design. While it’s clear that the game was meant to include ambient noises appropriate for the jungle setting—the sound of insects buzzing and frogs croaking—the effect is sometimes ruined by the cacophonous volume and sheer abruptness with which these sounds present themselves.

Imagine you are concealed in the dense jungle grasses, stealthily hunting an ankylosaurus. You raise your weapon, hold your breath, take aim for the heart and are about to pull the trigger when the sound of bees, thousands of bees, explodes into existence all around you.

You whirl, startled, not sure if you’ve triggered an environmental trap or if you’re just having an Animal Crossing flashback. You do an alarmed little dance in the grass. By the time you’ve realized that the bees are just a

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

sound effect gone mad, your quarry has escaped, likely musing on what a weird person you are. That was how my first hunt in Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter HD went. After a while I was no longer alarmed by the surprise auditory onslaughts; I just found them annoying.

There are some visual issues with Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter HD, as well. Rocks and other landscape features will sometimes fizzle out of existence if you’re not looking at them dead-on. The propellers on your spaceship, which houses the trophies you collect and supposedly hovers in the atmosphere, don’t move.

Perhaps there are performance reasons for the fizzling rocks.

Perhaps there are very scientific reasons relating to my spaceship and its ability to stay aloft in the absence of seemingly essential mechanisms. But when taken as a whole, the issues in the game make a fairly good low-budget game look all the more low-budget.

A lot has changed in games since Carnivores 2 came out, which has the effect of making Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter HD feel like a game out of time. There are no world-ending machines to shut down or undead plagues to beat back. There are no terrorists. There is no socially awkward, nerdy engineer sidekick or an exhausting, buxom love interest. It’s just you, an island and some dinosaurs that occasionally want to eat you.

As someone who played a good deal of Carnivores 2 when it was released, it’s good to see a remake do right by the original spirit of the game by not adding any of the aforementioned fodder. It’s a little broken, no doubt, but I’m still drawn to it. I can’t recommend Carnivores: Dinosaur Hunter HD to everyone, but if you feel like you’re in need of a palate cleanser, this might be the right game for you at the right time.

ETC FEATURED EVENT The Jews of al-Andalus: Understanding Medieval Spanish Jewish Culture 4:30 p.m.

Smith Memorial Student Union, room 296 1825 S.W. Broadway Portland, OR 97201 Dr. Maria Angeles Gallego, a tenured researcher and chair at the Institute Institute of Languages and Cultures of the Mediterranean and the Near East, Spanish High Council for Scientific Research (CSIC), in Madrid, Spain, will be visiting Portland State to give a lecture on Medieval Jewish culture in the country of Spain. FREE

©CENTER FOR SOCIAL AND HUMAN SCIENCES

EVENT CALENDAR Tuesday, Oct. 15

Wednesday, Oct. 16

Insurance Workshop 101

Remembering Rachmaninoff

11 a.m.–noon Smith Memorial Student Union, room 236 1825 S.W. Broadway Portland, OR 97201

Noon The Old Church 1422 S.E. 11th Ave. Portland, OR 97201

Have questions about the Portland State student health insurance plan? This insurance workshop is meant to help you understand the resources that are available for you through a student health plan and how to navigate the healthcare system. Students are highly encouraged to attend this event and to ask any question that they may have. FREE

Every Wednesday at noon the historic Old Church holds a concert where you are invited to bring your own lunch and enjoy some good music for free. This Wednesday the featured artist will be Dr. Beverly Serra-Brooks, a concert pianist who will be performing a tribute to the composer Rachmaninoff. FREE

The Science of Body Language: How to Become a Human Lie Detector 7 p.m.

Mission Theater 1642 N.W. Glisan St. Portland, OR 97209 The Oregon Museum of Science and Industry is delighted to bring you another fantastic Science Pub experience. This time you will be learning the art of detecting lies without the aid of any machinery beyond your own human body.

Join guest speaker Vanessa Van Edwards for a few drinks and turn yourself into a human lie detector. Admission is $5. Minors are admitted with adult guardians.

Mistakes Were Made 7:30 p.m.

Morrison Stage 1515 S.W. Morrison St. Portland, OR 97205 For only $20 as a student, you can find yourself at the Morrison Stage watching a production of the off-Broadway hit Mistakes Were Made. The show is about a New York City producer who negotiates with a playwright, a movie star, a deep-pockets funder and an agent, all while mediating a Middle East crisis and confiding in his pet fish. For tickets and more information, visit www.artistrep.com

KPSU’s 19th Birthday Celebration 8 p.m.–1:30 a.m.

Crystal Ballroom, Lola’s Room 1332 W. Burnside St. Portland, OR 97209 Join your own Portland State University radio station at Lola’s Room to celebrate 19 years of operation! Come sing karaoke and help support KPSU, who will receive 50% of the profit from the sale of food and drinks at Lola’s Room during the party. For more information, visit www.kpsu.com FREE

Thursday, Oct. 17 Desert Mothers in the Past and Present in the Wilderness of Egypt Noon Neuberger Hall, room 407 724 S.E. Harrison St. Portland, OR 97201 This presentation by Dr. Heba Sharobeem, of Ain Shams University, Cairo, Egypt, will examine the tradition of desert mothers, their lives and teachings and their influence on monasticism worldwide from a feminist and new historicist perspective. The presentation will focus on three major points:

Who the desert mothers are; major figures in the early centuries, particularly during the fourth century; and a contemporary example of desert mothers.

Following the presentation, Dr. Sharobeem will also be offering a Q&A about her political activFREE ist work in Egypt today.

The Pretty Little Nightmare, or A Selfie in Love 7 p.m.

Neuberger Hall, room 407 724 S.W. Harrison St. Portland, OR 97201 The Department of English and the Department of Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies will present a fun and fascinating lecture by Michael Cobb, a professor of English at the University of Toronto, with topics that range from narcissism and Freud to Lana Del Rey, Lena Dunham and you. FREE

Friday, Oct. 18

Come to the Oregon Convention Center to be a part of the Multnomah County Food Justice Summit, where discussion of the future of our food system and peer networking will help foster awareness and activism for food justice. Lunch will be provided for those who attend.

For more information, visit www.multnomahfoodsummit. com

Friday Flat Fix Clinic Noon – 12:30 p.m.

Portland State Bike Hub 1818 S.W. 6th Ave. Portland, OR 97201 Bring your bring to the Bike Hub this Friday to learn how to fix a flat quickly. This is a great clinic for both cycling vets and those who are new to the occasional setbacks associated with getting around via bike. FREE

Saturday, Oct. 19 Geography of Wine: Unraveling the Mystique of Terroir

Multnomah Food Justice Summit 9 a.m.–4 p.m.

Oregon Convention Center 777 N.E. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Portland, OR 97232

8:30 – 9:30 a.m.

Smith Memorial Student Union, Multicultural Center, room 228 1825 S.W. Broadway Portland, OR 97201 Dr. Greg Jones, professor at Southern Oregon University and Climatologist and Oregon

Wine Press 2009 Person of the Year, will talk about the geography of wine. Discover the importance of climate, soils and geology in wine production and take a photo journey teaching you where types of wine and grapes are produced. This talk is perfect for fans of wine and FREE agriculture alike.

Fright Night: A Haunted House 7 p.m.

Montgomery Court 1802 S.W. 10th Ave. Portland, OR 97201 Looking for a haunted house to satisfy your craving for Halloween fun? Look no further than your own campus this season! Montgomery Court, one of PSU’s most historic residence halls, is hosting a haunted house that is both frightening and family friendly, the proceeds of which will be donated to Outside In and the Ken Irwin Memorial Housing Scholarship Fund. Admission is $3, or $2 with your valid student ID.

FREE

21+

PSU FREE OPEN TO PUBLIC 21 & OVER

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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ETC

while, you’ll get through these turbulent times.

Libra Sept. 23 – Oct. 22 Feelin’ passed over, Libra?

Do you feel like others have taken priority while you’ve been put on the back burner? Now is the time for the scales to tip in your favor. Kick it up a notch and put yourself in the spotlight. All eyes are on you this week: Act like a dive and give ‘em a show.

the climb and take the path of least resistance. Fuck the invite. Kick down the door.

Sagittarius Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

Aquarius Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

You’re an adventurous one, my sweet, sweet Sagittarius; you’ll boldly go where no one has gone before. But tread lightly, my friend, or you could find yourself caught in quicksand. This week you’ll be tempted to deviate from the path for a too-good-to-be-true prize, but be warned: It’s a trap!

Keep your head down and don’t go chasing waterfalls.

Scorpio Oct. 23 – Nov. 21 You’re a passionate person, but maybe you should tone it down a bit. You tend to get a little extreme with your emotions, which can only get you in trouble this week. You can be overbearing at times, so you may want to check yo’ self so you don’t wreck yo’ self.

Simmer down. Relax. If you fly under the radar for a

Do you feel like you’ve been giving and giving without getting anything in return?

It’s time you went out and took something! Shoot for that one thing you’ve always wanted. Make a day all about you. Live a little. Don’t be afraid to treat yo’ self!

You’ve been looking for ways to get where you want to go for so long you’ve lost sight of the path. You may be weary from traveling and feel broken down from the journey, but don’t lose faith. The road to success may not be obvious, but all paths ascending must converge.

Like the mountain goat, you’re used to climbing obstacles and facing adversity.

You’ve been told many times, “If opportunity doesn’t knock, then build a door,� but maybe it’s time to skip

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Your fiery drive will be your saving grace this week. Trouble will find you, and it will flank you from all sides. Don’t get bogged down by drama and all that BS. If you keep your head down and keep moving full steam ahead, you can get through it. When trouble clears, make sure to hit the brakes or you’re likely to crash and burn.

You’re a social butterfly, Gemini. You flutter from group to group spreading warm affection and joy.

Stop. You’re exhausting yourself with endless social activity, so you should probably just knock it off for a while. You might as well take a note from your previous evolutionary form and take a quiet break cocooning.

Here’s the deal, Leo: You’ve had a lot of problems lately. Maybe instead of looking for answers in a horoscope, you should suck it up and confront the problems head on. Seriously, Leo. You’re a lion.

Act like one.

Taurus Apr. 20 – May 20

Cancer Jun. 21 – Jul. 22

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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SPORTS

TIMBERS GUT THE SOUNDERS

SCORES

UPCOMING

MLS

MLS

SEATTLE PORTLAND

Top Performers: Kalif Alhassan, scored lone winning goal.

0 REAL SALT LAKE vs. PORTLAND 1 SAT. 10/19 7:30 p.m. | ROOT SPORTS WHL

TRI-CITY vs. PORTLAND WED. 10/16 7:00 p.m.

WHL

KAMLOOPS PORTLAND

Top Performers: Derrick Pouliot, 2 goals.

4 NBA 7 PORTLAND @ UTAH WED. 10/16 6:00 p.m. | ROOT SPORTS PSU WOMEN’S SOCCER

NBA

UTAH PORTLAND

Top Performers: Damian Lillard, 23 points

86 PSU @ WEBER STATE 96 THURS. 10/17 2:00 p.m.

PSU CROSS COUNTRY

EMERALD CITY OPEN

PSU FOOTBALL

SOUTHERN UTAH PSU

Top Performers: Kasey Closs, 5 receptions, 57 yards

17 7

SAT. 10/19 10:30 a.m.

PSU VOLLEYBALL

IDAHO STATE vs. PSU THURS. 10/17 7:00 p.m.

PSU WOMEN’S SOCCER

NORTHERN ARIZONA PSU

Top Performers: Eryn Brown, 1 goal, now ranks 4th in career goals scored at PSU

1 2

PSU VOLLEYBALL

NORTH DAKOTA PSU

Top Performers Leigh-Ann Haataio, careerhigh 20.5 points

JOSE VALENCIA, forward for the Timbers, attempts a goal.

3 2

KAYLA NGUYEN/PSU VANGUARD

MATT DEEMS

“Welcome to your funeral,” bellowed intoxicated Timbers supporters as a group of Seattle Sounders fans entered Jeld-Wen Field last Sunday for a battle between two MLS Western Conference powerhouses. The game held heavy playoff implications for both teams as the season winds down and the playoffs wind up.

The Timbers were without strikers Ryan Johnson and Rodney Wallace, both away on international duty, and midfielder Diego Valeri, who was in attendance but did not play.

Filling in for the missing strikers was Kalif Alhassan.

The Timbers had a rough-and-tumble battle with the Sounders but scored the first and only goal and survived a few close calls, including two shots from the Sounders that hit the crossbar, sending the entire crowd into fits. The Timbers walked away the victor of the fight (1–0), nabbing the top spot

in the MLS Western Conference and tying with the New York Red Bulls for the Supporter’s Shield (the best overall team record).

The army of fans started the night with a “gut the fish” chant that the Timbers followed through on as the scrum started.

The first half of the match saw many hard tackles and questionable tactics as the rivals squared off in a tense showdown.

The Timbers walked onto the pitch with a different mentality than years prior. Head coach Caleb Porter explained, “There’s no reason why we would be inferior. There’s no reason why we should be the little brother. We should be capable of beating the Sounders and it not being a miracle.”

Although the first half seemed like it would go down in the books as a wash, the Timbers cracked open the Sounders defense for the first goal of the night. The 45th minute saw a free kick from Will Johnson get cleared away, but it bounced to the waiting Alhassan, who

blasted it past helpless Sounders keeper Marcus Hahnemann. The goal sent Alhassan to the corner of the field, ripping his jersey off and giving the crowd a little celebration two-step.

The first half ended with the Timbers ahead by only one, but holding 55 percent of the first half’s possession and nine attempts on goal.

The second half saw a complete loss of control by the referee after the two teams had a shoving match that ended with the Sounders’ Osvaldo Alonso being awarded a red card for taking an elbow to Johnson. Several Sounders players were also seen chasing the line judge before a teammate was able to restrain them; a yellow card was given to Sounder Jhon Hurtado as well.

“Anytime you have a rivalry match like this and it means so much, especially where both teams were in the standings, it’s going to get chippy at times, and it did,” Timbers right back Jack Jewsbury said. “I thought we handled it well. We stuck up for

each other, but at the same time we didn’t do anything that hurt the team.”

After the fight, the Timbers held on to their one-point lead and sent the Sounders, as the Timbers fans promised, further down the MLS standings into what could be their funeral if they don’t bounce back from a five-game losing streak.

As for the Timbers, Porter was seen smiling in the post-game press conference as he was asked about his team’s reaction to the night’s match. “If there’s a fight, we’re up for a fight,” Porter said.

“This team is not soft. I thought they [the Sounders] made it a fight, and that was no problem for us. We’re not going to back down.”

The Timbers have just two more matches to round out the regular season, the last at Jeld-Wen Field on Saturday Oct. 19 at 7:30 p.m. The Timbers will be playing the now secondplace Real Salt Lake, and the game promises to be another fight for the top spot in the Western Conference.

GOLFER A RAM CHOI’S FINAL ROUND SCORE. GOOD ENOUGH TO TIE THE PSU RECORD AND WIN THE PRICE’S GIVE ‘EM FIVE TOURNAMENT.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

23

SPORTS

THE PLATYPI ARE COMING? PORTLAND GETS AN ARENA FOOTBALL TEAM JESSE TOMAINO

The Arena Football League recently approved a Portlandbased ownership group’s bid to purchase a majority of the Milwaukee Mustangs with the intent to move them to Portland.

Terry Emmert, CEO of Emmert International, a company based in Clackamas that specializes in heavy haul transportation and rigging services, leads the new owners.

Hopefully Mr. Emmert has a sense of humor, because he has already had the opportunity to experience how hilarious and clever Oregonians can be. When they announced the purchase of the team last week, the new owners also announced that the Portland community would have a hand in naming the team.

Fans were encouraged to log on to PortlandAFL.com to suggest and vote on potential team names. Local radio funny-guy Jason Scukanec, or Big Suke, from Primetime with Isaac and Big Suke on 1080 The Fan has issued a call to all Portland sports fans to bombard the website with votes to call the team the Platypi. Or Platypuses, or some variation on that theme. He’s hazy on the spelling of the plural form of the word, but he’s very sure it’s what Portland’s team needs as their mascot.

Big Suke’s logic is that the platypus is a pretty reasonable answer to the question, “What do you get when you combine a duck and a beaver?” The football landscape in the state of Oregon is dominated by Ducks and Beavers, so to make the new team fit in, we should combine our collegiate powers into one ferocious, semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action.

The platypus as a missing link between Duck and Beaver has been exploited before in Oregon’s football history.

From 1959 to 1961, the Platypus Trophy was awarded to the winner of the annual Civil War game between the two schools.

The trophy was stolen and lost several times after that, re-purposed for use in the water polo Civil War games for a few years, and eventually re-

24

RACHAEL BENTZ/PSU VANGUARD

surfaced in 2007 when athletic directors from both schools decided not to resume the tradition. With such an appropriate regional football icon lying dormant, Big Suke may be on to something—maybe we should call the new team the Platypus after all.

Portland previously was home to an AFL franchise, the Forest Dragons, from 1997 to 1999. Forest Dragons is another one of the names currently on the list for fans to choose from when casting votes for the new franchise. Other options include the Grey Wolves, Loggers, Lumberjacks, Reign (groan), Pythons, Pioneers and Cascades. While many of those options reflect Portland and the Pacific Northwest as a whole, none of them have the same connection to the state’s football tradition as Platypus.

Before the potential fan base or the team’s owners reject Platypus as too ridiculous for serious consideration, they should

consider the AFL tradition of team names. This is a league that has teams named the New Orleans VooDoo, the Philadelphia Soul, and the recently added Los Angeles KISS. That’s KISS, as in, “I Wanna Rock & Roll All Nite.” Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley of the leather-clad glam band are the principal owners of the eponymous team. KISS owns a football team, and they have been publicly pursuing a contract with Tim Tebow, so this is not a league that is averse to a little bit of playful publicity.

Regardless of what the Portland franchise ends up being named, they appear to be assembling an organization that will field an exciting, competitive team. Emmert recently stated, “Sports fans in this state are used to seeing a high-energy, fast-paced brand of football.

The AFL delivers that kind of excitement in a unique and affordable family setting.” That setting will be the Moda Center, formerly the Rose Garden

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN Dear Portland State athletic program, The Portland State Vikings women’s soccer team has been nothing short of spectacular this season. Through their first four Big Sky games head coach Laura Schott and her team have yet to lose, outscoring their opponents 7–1.

Unfortunately for myself and the majority of our other Viking fans, we have not had the chance to see these women perform. When it says “home” on the PSU schedule, that really means the Vikings are playing out in Hillsboro, at Hillsboro Stadium.

Like a lot of other college students, I do not have access to a car. And even if I did, Hillsboro Stadium is far enough away to make me question if I would make the drive out there. It shouldn’t be this hard to watch arguably the most successful athletic team at PSU. And these women have been very successful. Last year they were co-champions of the Big Sky conference. They have never finished worse than second in the conference under Schott, who has only lost seven games in Big Sky conference play. On top of that, the Vikings have been to seven straight Big Sky championships.

Success is clearly not the problem with the women’s soccer program; the problem is that I have only been to one game, and this is my third year as a Viking. I know that PSU is not the ideal place for a soccer stadium with its city location, but it seems like some of the other sport teams do not have this kind of problem like the soccer team does. Men’s basketball plays at the Stott Center. Football plays at Jeld-Wen Field. Track and Field however, fall under the same fate.

They have to practice at Lincoln High School, and when the Big Sky championships were “held in Portland,” they were really in Forest Grove.

Is there a solution to this problem? Maybe not. It would be great if there could be a stadium where the Vikings could play home soccer games, but I know that is not very realistic. What if the women could play at Jeld-Wen? There are probably a lot of reasons why that would not be possible, and 90 percent of them are most likely money related. Is a shuttle to games more realistic?

It would be a solid opportunity for students and anyone interested in Vikings athletics to get out to events.

The women’s soccer schedule says they are playing at home, but it seems like their home games are actually played on a neutral field all the way out in Hillsboro. Do these Vikings consider Hillsboro their home, even though they play for Portland? Regardless of their homelessness, these women have been successful over the last seven years with or without a true stadium. That deserves some serious respect.

Unfortunately, this last weekend were the Vikings last two “home” soccer games. Portland State took on Northern Arizona and Southern Utah at Hillsboro Stadium. The Vikings now have only three games remaining in their schedule before the Big Sky Conference tournament. If the Vikings do host a game in the tournament, will they truly have a home field advantage at Hillsboro Stadium? Does this problem have a solution, PSU? Sincerely, Alex Moore

Arena, where the team will play nine home games in their first season starting March 2014.

Season tickets start at $99. The football staff that Emmert has assembled includes franchise president Jared Rose, director of football operations Meadow Lemon and recently hired head coach Matthew Sauk.

Sauk comes to Portland from a three-year stint as assistant head coach and offensive coordinator of the Utah Blaze.

In his time at Utah, his team

set records in nearly every offensive category. Sauk played quarterback for Utah State University before a long AFL career as a player. He moved into the coaching ranks in 2008 but came out of retirement midseason to throw for 928 yards and 21 touchdowns for the Arizona Rattlers.

There are plenty of quality football players who aren’t able to land NFL jobs, so hopefully the coach won’t have to suit up and play in 2014. Many of those play-

ers who are looking for work on the AFL level are former Ducks and Beavers, so maybe the platypus nickname could make some sense for Portland. Some former Portland State players are likely to get a look with the new squad as well, so maybe we should suggest they put a Viking hat on that platypus to round out the state’s football representation. Regardless of what Portland’s quirky fans come up with, this new addition to the Rose City is bound to be exciting.

SPORTS

A RAM CHOI DOMINATES LAST GOLF TOURNMENT OF THE FALL SEASON JESSE TOMAINO

Portland State golfer A Ram Choi just finished up another record-setting fall season—her second at this school. Last year as a sophomore, she set a school scoring record with an average round of 74.90. During the fall season she bettered that mark with an average of 74.25.

The Price’s Give ‘Em Five tournament in Las Cruces, N.M., held Oct. 7–9 was the final event on the fall schedule. The play of Choi, along with a career best round of 68 from sophomore Riley Leming, had the Vikings two strokes off University of California Irvine’s lead going into the final day. With a third round 67, Choi was able to finish first on the individual scoreboard—six

under par with a three day total of 208. Her total for the week annihilates her previous 54 hole best of 216.

This was the second time Choi had a round of 67, the first time being when she joined Britney Yada as the PSU record holder for a single round. Choi had five birdies on the front nine and was able to coast into the clubhouse even-par after the turn, playing safe golf and guarding her lead. Leming’s individual total of 214 was good for a tie for second place and helped the Vikings finish the fall season with a win for the team.

Choi was named Big Sky Conference Player of the Year last season, and she is making a strong case to repeat this year.

With 32 birdies in competition, she is making it look easy. In addition to the year-end award,

Choi has also been honored as the Big Sky Golfer of the Week on six occasions during her time at PSU. The Surrey, British Columbia native is currently listed at No. 368 on the USGA World Amateur Golf Ranking, and No. 114 in the NCAA rankings.

Other highlights of her season include top ten finishes in the Washington State University Cougar Cup and the Rose City Collegiate Tournament, played at Langdon Farms Golf Club in Aurora. She finished second in the Bronco Fall Classic at Falcon Crest Golf Course in Kuna, Idaho. Choi also had a second place finish at the Folino Invitational in Industry Hills, Calif. The junior beat the field at the Oregon Women’s Stroke Play Championship at the Lewis River Golf Course, which is oddly enough in

Woodland, Wash., last August before PSU’s season started.

Choi’s play helped her team to strong finishes in all of the events they entered this fall: third at the Bronco Classic, sixth at the Cougar Cup, fifth at the Rose City and the win in New Mexico.

Recently hired coach Kailin Downs now has a few months to get her team—and her star golfer—ready for the spring season. The Vikings began the Price’s Give ‘Em Five tournament as the No. 111 ranked team in the country. Their win in New Mexico and the outstanding play of Choi should move that number well under 100 before play resumes.

The team plays the first of six spring events Feb. 24–25 at the UC Irvine Invitational. Look for Choi to continue her dominant play then.

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

25

SPORTS

ALL PLAYERS SCHOLARSHIPS ARE NOT ENOUGH: IT’S TIME TO PAY COLLEGE ATHLETES JESSE TOMAINO

Student athletes: that’s how players participating in sports at the collegiate level are described. That term used to be an accurate description. The young men at Harvard and Yale were already rowing crew in their free time, so in 1852 they decided to have a race and American college sports began.

It was an extracurricular activity that grew out of a pastime that the students enjoyed for their own sake, and it elevated in intensity when they competed against a rival school, similar to a debate team or a quiz bowl. Princeton and Rutgers played the first college football game in 1869. Now, almost 150 years later, things have become more complicated.

Recently some student athletes attempted to organize in a way that would look out for everyone involved in college sports. Writing “APU” on their wrist tape, standing for All Players United, members of several football teams attempted to draw attention to a grassroots movement to affect ongoing NCAA reform.

The APU movement is supported by the National College Players Association and is the kind of unity college players will need to demonstrate if they want to get their fair share. Their goals include compensation for current players, supporting players in concussion lawsuits against the NCAA and support for the players in a lawsuit against EA Sports that could force EA Sports to pay for the licensing of player images.

Reported revenue for the NCAA in 2012 was $871.6 million. According to USA Today, the average salary for an NCAA football coach is $1.64 million. The television contract the NCAA signed with CBS/Turner for the right to broadcast their basketball tournaments for the next 14 years is worth $10.8 billion. We

26

have moved a long way from a recreational game on the quad where the students put down their books for a few minutes to compete against the crosstown rival. This is big business, and the only people not getting paid are the ones who make it all happen.

The schools generate revenue, that they often turn around and reinvest in the athletic departments. Being competitive in sports raises the stature of a university, helps increase nonathletic enrollment and makes recruitment of even better athletes easier. The need to stay competitive in recruiting makes schools feel compelled to invest that money in the athletic programs—without high-end facilities and quality coaches, the best players go elsewhere.

Portland State is not one of the big money schools that is rolling in cash from exclusive television contracts and high-rolling donors to the athletic department. Most football programs in the Big Sky Conference operate at a deficit, but they are still important parts of the makeup of the constituent schools.

Many of the arguments about the big money aspects of college sports are muted at the Football Championship Subdivision level, but the fact remains that PSU spends a significant amount of money to help its teams compete.

According to Forbes, in the 201112 season the average salary for the coaches of the men’s teams at PSU was $211,328. I don’t begrudge coaches Burton and Geving their salaries, and in the context of quality NCAA coaches, they are both bargains and PSU is lucky to have them. But if they are able to keep their respective teams moving in the right direction, there will soon come a day when we won’t be able to afford to keep them. A school with deeper athletic department pockets will come along and offer them a salary

PSU won’t be able to match, because this is a business.

Many of the football players at PSU are here to get a degree and find a career that doesn’t involve wearing cleats to work. They just love football and appreciate the opportunity to play while going to school. Even the guys who think they have a shot at playing professionally know that a degree from PSU has value and is something that can help them in the future.

However, to say that all players are being adequately compensated for their time and effort with a free college education is absurd.

What about the player who is not interested in receiving a college education? Should he—and the university he nominally attends— go through the motions of going to class? He has to; there is no alternative. The NFL and the NBA do not allow players to enter their respective drafts straight out of high school, and unlike baseball, there is no minor league system.

College football and basketball effectively are the minor leagues for those sports. The player simply has to pretend to be a student while risking injury, putting in at least 20 hours a week of practice and game time and making money for the school.

This leads to a scandal every year or so involving a player taking money from a booster or signing autographs for money, just to have enough to go out for a pizza.

That’s right, NCAA players can’t even sign their own autographs for money. That doesn’t mean memorabilia signed by players is unavailable, just that the school and the NCAA are the only ones who can profit from the sale. These are the same players—I’m sorry, student athletes—whose scholarships often don’t cover their basic living expenses. When your average student can’t afford pizza, he or she

Vanguard | OCTOBER 15, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

All Players United (APU) is a recent unifying movement regarding college football teams. The goal is to get these well-known and hard-working players more benefits, potentially even a salary. The idea of paying college athletes is extremely controversial. Don’t they already get paid in scholarships and opportunities? Or are they drastically underpaid for the amount of commitment and skill they provide college athletic programs? The Vanguard sports staff is divided—where do you stand? can get a part-time job or take out student loans. Athletes don’t have the time to work a part-time job because they are required to commit 20 hours a week to practice, and asking them to end their college careers in debt seems ridiculous after the revenue they have helped bring in.

Any system that is developed to pay the players will need to be carefully considered and structured. There will have to be an acknowledgement of the differences between the sports and the level of play. Establishing one rate of pay for student athletes across the board could shut down entire athletic departments. The sports that currently generate income are football and basketball. Scholarship players within those sports should receive a stipend

in addition to their tuition that is commensurate to the value they bring to the program. If the outcome of this is the creation of a rate system wherein certain players of a higher caliber get paid more and it all starts to feel a little too much like professional sports for some people, too bad. It is professional sports, and it’s time we acknowledged it.

The NCAA and its member institutions are often strong proponents of tradition. Whether it’s the tradition of the annual exhibition games played in the football bowls or the tradition of student athletes just being happy to get an education, sometimes ideas become outdated. Nobody cares who won the Meineke Car Care Bowl, and in a world where athletes can sign eight- and nine-figure contracts in

the professional ranks, you can’t expect them to play in the minor leagues for free.

So far, most players who have wanted to do something about this inequity have resorted to finding a back alley way to get paid. They sign some autographs or hang out with a booster and get a prepaid debit card or a $500 handshake.

Every so often someone will shove evidence of these transgressions into the face of the NCAA, who, having no other options, will place some sanctions on the offending school. The player will have moved on to the NFL or NBA and will face no repercussions. Clearly this is a situation that needs to be addressed. Organizing is a good start, but they members of APU may need a more impressive display than writing on athletic tape with magic marker.

UNITED

SPORTS

VANGUARD SPORTS STAFF GOES HEAD TO HEAD

©COLIN DAVIS

COLLEGIATE ATHLETES HAVE ENOUGH ALEX MOORE

There seems to be an argument floating around in which people across the U.S. think that college athletes—who are most definitely exploited—deserve some sort of monetary compensation.

I fail to see the argument here.

I thought that scholarships, grants, free living expenses and the right to an education were forms of payment. Maybe I am wrong, but that sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.

I realize the argument is a lot more complex than this. These students do not have time for jobs. They put in so much work on their respective fields, and the colleges make millions, even billions, off their work ethic. Despite all of this, however, there is one underlying factor that is being forgotten: education.

College is not about sports.

It never has been, and it never should be. The fact that there is some sort of argument here about whether or not an athlete deserves money is taking the whole idea of college in the wrong direc-

tion. Are we completely forgetting why we are all here? The number of people in the world who have access to the kind of education we do is extremely low. Not many people get the opportunities we do as college students, and yet for some reason we want to take away funding from the education program and hand it to athletes.

It is already bad enough that coaches have these huge salaries—former Oregon head coach Chip Kelly was paid $3.5 million to coach the Ducks last year—while professors are arguably the most underpaid people in the world.

Individuals who have control over the next generation—who help mold the minds of the next group of individuals that will have a say in this world—are tremendously underpaid to make way for some silly guy who has “big balls” and a visor on his head. Where’s the sense in that?

Recently this situation has gained a lot more attention due to college athletes writing “APU” on their jerseys. APU stands for

“All Players United” and is supposed to be a protest against how the NCAA treats their athletes.

Personally, I think this is awesome. If the players feel they are being treated unfairly, then they should be speaking out.

However, one of the reasons certain players are writing APU on their jerseys is because they feel they should be compensated.

There are a lot of things wrong with the NCAA, and there’s definitely some truth to the claim that they do not do everything possible to protect their players, which should be their first priority. However, I do not understand how players can be asking for more money when we are still in a predicament where colleges and universities are constantly undergoing budget cuts. Anyone who was a part of Portland State’s summer program this year saw a lot of these cuts on their very own campus when a large portion of the summer classes were cancelled.

It’s happening; we can’t ignore it.

APU is great, and it does stand

up against the exploitation from the NCAA and television networks; however, that is not the only corruption that exists in collegiate sports. There is constantly news going on about which college athlete got a car or a house for playing for a specific team. The money that these programs have available to them is already going in the wrong direction. How could we trust them with more?

Put the situation into perspective. Let’s say we do pay college athletes. We can’t just pay football players; that would be unfair.

Although football is the highest form of revenue for universities, if you pay one sport, you have to pay them all. Even golf and tennis, sports that have much less revenue, would have to support their athletes financially.

So college athletes have money. Think of what would happen.

Why would athletes have any reason to do anything else but their respective sport? Financial compensation enforces the ideology of not having a back-up

plan. Regardless of how successful one is as an athlete, in a world that is filled with injuries, is this the right mindset to have?

You know who should be paid?

Not people who can run the fastest or jump the highest, but the students in the engineering program who are, staying up all night to study for a test. The students who are taking 20 credits and trying to make a difference in this world thought their field of choice. Why can’t they be paid?

They don’t have enough time to work. Or maybe they do—maybe they work on top of all of this so they can pay for their education.

Students aside, however, the most deserving and practical causes are the underpaid professors. Espacially all the adjunct professors, whom Univeristy of Arizona professor and cnn columnist Gary Rhoades recently dubbed “the new working poor.”

No one should ever talk about giving money to someone at a university other than professors until the molders of the next

generation are paid what they deserve. It’s a no-brainer.

I do understand the argument from the side of college athletes and all who agree with them.

The U.S. is absolutely obsessed with college football, as well as basketball come March. Television networks and the colleges themselves make amounts of money I can’t even imagine off of these students. But even with all the exploitation that exists in the NCAA, I fail to understand how compensation is the answer.

Look, college athletes: Be happy with what you’ve got. Life is pretty damn good for you guys!

Especially those with full ride scholarships. I wish I could have any kind of scholarship myself.

Education is number one. No one should ever think that sports are even close to what we learn in the classroom. And even when we are in the classroom don’t the people teaching us deserve more?

The money college athletes are demanding could and should be going to much nobler causes.

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