Portland State Vanguard Transporation Guide 2013

VOLUME VOLUME68 68||ISSUE ISSUE129

OCTOBER 8, 29,2013 2013

TRANSPORTATION GUIDE NEWS

OPINION

ARTS & CULTURE

SPORTS

Students New deaninof thethe Urban College Honors of the program Arts, Robert Bucker, analyze paper currency plans to for reach traces out to of Portland’s art chemicals, including community. cocaine. pg.pg.

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Listen up, Horror movies dudes: with Your characters lady deserves who know to climax they’re justinashorror much movies as you and do. why you should love them. pg. 9 pg.10

Fright night is upon us! Experience the spooktacular with our A–Z guide to modern horror! pg. 24

Vikings football ends three-game losing streak during weekend homecoming game. pg. 29

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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NEWS

SIMON BENSON AWARDS DINNER BRINGS IN RECORD-BREAKING FUNDS GEOFF WALLACE

Setting records for audience size and funds raised, the 14th annual Simon Benson Awards dinner on Oct. 22 proved to be the most successful in Portland State history.

With speeches from award laureates, standout PSU students and CNN news anchor and journalist Anderson Cooper, the dinner inspired an especially celebratory atmosphere at the Oregon Convention Center.

Dubbed by emcee and PSU geology professor Dr. Scott Burns as “Portland’s premier philanthropic event,” the event set new records for attendance and funds raised, with 1,832 attendees raising more than $1.2 million for the night—an unprecedented success that prompted PSU President Wim Wiewel to proclaim the 14th Awards dinner the “most successful Simon Benson awards ever.”

Award honorees for 2013 include long-time PSU donors Rick and Erika Miller and PSU alum Bill Stoller.

The recipients for this year’s Simon Benson Award for Philanthropy, the Millers have donated gifts totaling $8 million toward the expansion of PSU’s School of Business.

Stoller, this year’s recipient of the Alumni Achievement Award, co-founded Express Employment Professionals and the Stoller Family Estate, the first LEED Gold-certified winery in North America.

Continuing a similar trend of increased gifts to PSU, the financial success of the Simon Benson Awards dinner has risen dramatically in recent years. Figures supplied by PSU indicate the dinner raised $285,000 in 2010, $465,000 in 2011

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and $1 million in 2012. Proceeds from the evening go to the PSU Foundation and are utilized to fund scholarships, university programs and faculty endeavors.

‘Being a human first’

Monetary figures ultimately took a back seat to human generosity, with speakers’ stories providing inspiration and insight into more than financial matters.

The keynote speech by Anderson Cooper and his subsequent Q&A with The Oregonian editor Peter Bhatia drove home the evening’s message of generosity.

Amid bursts of jokes on topics ranging from politics to celebrity to his own self-image, Cooper related details from his early career, including the decision to go to “places that [were] dangerous” as a means of meeting “[little to] no competition” from other journalists.

While reporting from war-torn and impoverished countries in the 1990s and early 2000s, Cooper began to recognize the importance of helping people when the opportunity arose.

Acknowledging the importance of being a dispassionate observer, Cooper related a story about dropping his camera and aiding a badly injured boy in the aftermath of the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. His decision to help the boy was subsequently criticized by other journalists and media figures, and Cooper acknowledged these criticisms.

“There are times when it’s important to just be a person and help someone,” Cooper said, later emphasizing his

belief in occasionally “being a human being first [and a reporter second].”

“The frailty of the heart should not be denied,” he said, later adding a further realization of his journalistic drive: “I knew I couldn’t stop [suffering in the lives of others],” Cooper said, “but I could give testament to their lives.”

Media as an educator

While Cooper provided the night with humanistic insight born of experience, it was student speaker junior Zanele Mutepfa who gave the evening an emotional and motivational center. A junior at PSU, Mutepfa is the founder and director of Empowering Sisterhood, a communiy-building initiative run under PSU’s Diversity and Multicultural Student Services that caters to African and African-American women.

Delivering her speech, Mutepfa drew on her personal story to illuminate her sense of gratitude to PSU donors as she offered details on her early life in Zimbabwe, including the death of both her parents before she reached age 11 and her subsequent adoption by a “simply amazing” American family.

In 2009, Mutepfa returned to her village in Zimbabwe to mourn her parents.

“It was the first time in nine years that I was able to return to Africa,” Mutepfa said, “and feel the sun of my homeland hit my face and the people of my heart gaze into my eyes. I promised myself I would learn and embrace my culture, my family’s traditions and most importantly, the legacy my parents had left behind.”

After detailing the story

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

PETER BHATIA, editor of The Oregonian, moderates a Q&A session with CNN news anchor and journalist Anderson Cooper.

MILES SANGUINETTI/VANGUARD STAFF

of a woman committed to tending the village, Mutepfa spoke of an afternoon when she volunteered to watch the woman’s children.

“Immediately, six girls [swarmed] around me, singing and dancing,” Mutepfa recounted. “One of them pulled my arm and said, ‘Take me to America with you. I want to learn. I’m a smart girl, just like you.’”

As the girl began to recite poems and demonstrate her prowess in solving mathematical problems, Mutepfa found herself delightfully baffled by the child’s talents— and suddenly discovered her calling, too.

“My heart [filled] with pride, hope and a profound sense of responsibility,” Mutepfa said. “At that moment, I believed that it is my responsibility to get a college education and achieve a position that would allow me to grant opportunities for young women, worldwide.”

Mutepfa also praised

PSU donors for helping her achieve success.

“My parents have the same heart for generosity as each of you in this room,” Mutepfa said.

“Because of you, there are programs at PSU…which allowed me to found and serve as the director of Empowering Sisterhood. This program empowers women by providing mentoring resources and encourages community outreach.”

With a playful joke about “[working] for Big Bird” as an intern at Sesame Street Workshop in New York this past summer, Mutepfa outlined her ambitions for empowering women and children through educational media.

“I aspire to build my career in the media industry as an author and TV personality, serving as a catalyst for women and youth,” Mutepfa said. “I believe the media is the largest educational platform in the world.

“Therefore, if I can travel the world and broadcast stories [that] influence people

globally, I would be fulfilling my ultimate purpose. I believe everyone has a story to tell; they just need someone to amplify them.”

And in a surprise moment, after a standing ovation from the audience that Mutepfa said made her “[feel] at home,” she received exactly the kind of amplification that she had championed moments before.

“Shortly after my speech,” Mutepfa said in an email to the Vanguard after the awards dinner, “Anderson Cooper [followed] me outside and offered his mentorship and guidance [to me].

He said, ‘There you are. I’m Anderson Cooper. So, you’re interested in the media?’”

“I must say,” Mutepfa said, “Mr. Cooper has kept his promise and we’ve stayed in [touch]. I feel honored and blessed.”

For a recap of Anderson Cooper’s small-group Q&A with PSU students, visit psuvanguard.com

NEWS

DIRTY MONEY HONORS CHEMISTRY SEMINAR TESTS PAPER CURRENCY

STUDENTS IN THE HONORS CSI CLASS congregate before separating into groups to collect and compile data from their labs.

RIZA LIU/PSU VANGUARD

STEPHANIE TSHAPPAT

This school year, the Urban Honors program is offering some of its students a unique opportunity to obtain an in-depth look into chemistry and its real world applications through a new Honors general chemistry class.

As part of this endeavor, Dr. Gwen Shusterman, the professor of the class, recently had the students conduct a lab to see what kind of chemical traces, like cocaine, they could draw off of paper currency.

“I am really impressed; the class did really well,” Shusterman said.

The class tested several denominations of paper currency—$1, $20 and $100 bills—and when all was said and done, the chemical traces the students found included traces of cocaine, phthalates (used to make plastics soft), glycerine (most likely from hand lotion), urea (a chemical found in urine) and caffeine.

“The purpose of the lab was to analytically or quantitatively figure out how much of a chemical is present instead of just which chemical is present,” Shusterman said.

In a lecture given before the students had their lab, guest lecturer Dr. Jim Pankow, whose lab the students used to run their experiment, explained how besides the traces of cocaine found, the phthalates located are also something to be studied.

“Studies have found these plasticizers, these phthalates, along with BPA, as the cause of some fertility problems,” Pankow said.

The lab, entitled “Extraction and analysis of paper currency: Introduction to analytical principles of gas chromatography/mass spectrometry,” was based on a government case study published in Alabama that suggested that finding chemical traces of methamphetamine on paper currency in an area could indicate an in-

crease in methamphetamine use and production.

This means that by testing paper currency for chemical traces of compounds found in illegal drugs such as cocaine and methamphetamine, officials ideally would be able to pinpoint where the use and manufacturing of these drugs will become a problem.

Being an Urban Honors seminar, part of the class’ purpose is to put chemistry into real world problems, Shusterman said.

“We’re trying to balance fundamentals with things the students haven’t done before” she said.

In his lecture, Pankow explained that what the students were performing was open tube gas chromatography. He also had the students perform a simple experiment in class to demonstrate the principles involved in chromatography.

Each student was given a plastic cup, a piece of tape

and a small slip of paper with a green marker dot on it. Students taped the paper to a pen or pencil and laid it across the top of the cup after pouring a small amount of water into the bottom of the cup—just enough so the very bottom of the strip of paper touched the water, but not enough to cover the green dot. Within a minute, the water wicked up into the strip of paper, causing the marker dot to bleed and streak into different colors.

This experiment showed the two phases of chromatography—the mobile and stationary phases.

The lecture continued by informing students that in their lab they would be able to figure out the identities of the different chemical traces they had found by the weight of the molecules in each chemical. Urea, for example, has a very light molecular weight, which can make it difficult to find in tests.

Pankow said he hoped the students would be able to identify not only cocaine but one or two other compounds as well in their data analysis and gave examples of the chromatograms the students would be using.

“The students will view their chromatograms on the computer so they can analyze their data and check to see what additional compounds were found in the samples,” Pankow said.

Dominic Galen, a freshman Honors student studying environmental engineering, explained the step-by-step process the students performed in the beginning of the lab.

“We put the bill in a tube, put in the solution containing the solvent, then extracted certain amounts from the tube into a vial, and Dr. Pankow ran the samples,” Galen said.

Freshman Honors student

Alyssa Clayton, who is taking pre-med classes but hasn’t decided on her major, explained that the actual running of the samples was a very time-consuming process.

“I think each sample took about an hour, over a period of three days,” Clayton said.

Both Galen and Clayton agreed that they were drawn to the class due to the more in-depth chemistry they’d be studying, as well as the smaller class size.

Shusterman said the class is an exciting opportunity for students since it’s a smaller seminar.

“We couldn’t have done this lab in a regular general chemistry class due to the class size and how long it took to run the samples in the lab,” Shusterman said.

The seminar is not a required honors seminar but does fulfill degree requirements for students pursuing science-based degree programs.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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NEWS

New PSU Student Union holds first general assembly ROBERT EVERSMANN

On Oct. 18, the newly formed Portland State University Student Union held its first general assembly meeting in the Native American Student and Community Center.

The event, organized by the Student Action Coalition and Students for Unity, saw a panel of students and faculty discuss student debt, student rights and how a student union might address these issues.

Indeed, the discussion of student debt was central to the afternoon’s agenda.

“Students leave the university today with an unconscionable debt that you’re going to carry for the rest of your life,” said Michael Chamberlin, a panelist and executive council member of PSU’s chapter of

CRIME BLOTTER

STEPHANIE TSHAPPAT

Oct. 21

Oct. 22 Arrest

Exclusion

Smith Memorial Student Union/Cramer Hall Officer Denae Murphy contacted non-student Alejandro Jesus Gonzalez-Martinez at 2:51 p.m. due to him asking people to sign a petition but having no badges or a uniform to indicate he was a legitimate signature gatherer. Gonzalez-Martinez issued PSU exclusion.

Arrest

University Place Sergeant Michael Anderson and Officer Murphy were contacted by non-student Scott Reeves, who was staggering and appeared to be under the influence of methamphetamine, at 8:49 p.m.

A consent search of Reeves located methamphetamine in his bag and he was taken into custody. A search of Reeves’ wallet at the jail located a small amount of marijuana. Lodged at Multnomah County Detention Center for Unlawful Possession of Methamphetamine and Possession of Less Than One Ounce Marijuana.

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the American Association of University Professors.

According to data compiled by the Oregon University System, 64 percent of PSU’s class of 2011 graduated with student loan debt. That same year, the average student loan debt amounted to $26,287 at PSU. Chamberlin argued that the administration is not leading the university in a way that benefits PSU students, faculty or non-administrative staff. “Students need to put demands on the administration, and we as faculty will support you,” he said.

“The problem in Oregon is there’s not enough state funding to go around,” said Diane Saunders, director of com-

Market Center Building parking lot Officer Jared Schuurmans responded to a report of a subject sleeping in the university president’s parking space.

Upon contact the subject was identified as non-student Clarence M. Jones III, who had a current PSU exclusion.

Jones was arrested for Criminal Trespass II, issued a new PSU exclusion, and lodged at Multnomah County Detention Center.

Oct. 24 Disorderly Conduct

Park blocks At 9:50 p.m. Officer Brenton Chose and Officer Peter Ward responded to a report of a suspicious, possibly intoxicated, male subject yelling rude and racist things in above area. Officers contacted nonstudent Michael Wayne Lee who declined to speak with the officers and walked away.

Officers contacted Lee again 30 minutes later in the Urban Plaza due to Lee talking loudly to himself. Lee again declined to speak with offi-

munications at OUS. “Twenty years ago the state paid 70 percent of the higher education budget and students paid 30 percent—this has flipped.

Students have had to pick up the slack. Students can’t take much more.”

Cameron Frank, a StAC organizer and PSU student, hopes PSUSU will become an activist community for students. The student union, he said, could help unite students for common causes, as well as support students pursuing their own projects in activism.

In a later interview, Jackie Balzer, vice president of Enrollment and Student Affairs at PSU, said, “If [PSUSU members] have a desire to be heard or to collaborate, we [in

Week of Oct. 28-Nov. 3 cers and walked away. No further information.

Oct. 25 Disorderly Conduct

Cramer Hall Officer Nicola Higbee and Officers Chose and Ward responded to a report of a former PSU graduate being disruptive and refusing to leave, subject would only give her name and her age.

Officer Ward accompanied her to the Financial Assistance Office in Neuberger Hall, where her appointment with them was confirmed.

Oct. 26 Narcotics Information—Marijuana Detox

Peter Stott Center At 8:39 p.m. Officer Ward assisted with a student who was removed from the OK GO concert because of severe intoxication. The student was transported to the detox center.

Read the full crime blotter at psuvanguard.com

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

administration] stand ready to really work with them.”

So far, PSUSU is seeing substantial buy-in from students. As of Oct. 26, more than 500 students have joined the student union.

PSUSU is not a part of Student Activities Leadership Program, nor is it a part of the existing PSU government structure. “PSUSU is necessarily operating outside of the preordained political process reserved for students by the university administration,” Frank said.

However, PSUSU and the Associated Students of Portland State University intend to work together. “We believe ASPSU does valuable work,” Frank said, adding that

the student union and student government are “fundamentally complementary rather than antithetical.”

“In order to transform PSU into a university that treats its students sustainably, it is vital we work together to shake the present system from within and without,” Frank said.

Eric Noll, legislative affairs director at ASPSU and chair of the Oregon Student Association’s Board of Directors, said that the OSA works to “represent, serve and protect the collective interests of students in postsecondary education in Oregon, for the sake of a more affordable, accessible and quality education.”

Noll explained that the OSA,

like PSUSU, uses direct action to advocate for students. “A lot of our work is about empowering students,” he said.

While Frank said that he sees the student union working with ASPSU and with PSU OSA representatives, he also hopes the student union will be “more decentralized and agile.”

“The framework of the student union is still developing,” Frank said. “PSUSU could provide a scaffolding that folks can plug into, however they can use their skills and knowledge.”

“We want to create opportunities for people to get creative,” he said.

For more information, visit the PSU Student Union website at www.psusu.org

NEWS

TUITION TO DECREASE THIS WINTER JAY PENGELLY

Portland State students have reason to celebrate: School is about to cost less. After 14 years of increase, in-state tuition will lower by 1.5 percent during winter term 2014. After the decrease, the rate will be frozen through spring 2015.

The budget is planned two years in advance. Before this school year began, the Oregon University System hoped to decrease tuition across the board if they could come up with $50 million.

In this year’s legislative session, which ended in June, $15 million was allocated

specifically for the purpose of reducing tuition. It was the first time since the 2008 recession that the higher education budget was increased.

The legislature also capped next year’s tuition increase to 3.5 percent, which is significantly lower than previous years, when rates rose up to 11 percent annually.

In late September, the Oregon Legislature met for a special session in what is being called “the grand bargain.” It involved divergent political issues: a farming regulation bill, modifications to the Public Employ-

ees Retirement System and money toward public education. An additional $25 million was added to the $15 million, all going toward lowering tuition.

OUS fell short of its goal by $10 million, but it was enough for a tuition decrease.

According to data provided

by OUS the average public university student in Oregon pays more than 70 percent of the cost of their education— nearly double the amount paid by students during the 1991-2 academic year.

The OUS, which governs the seven public universi-

tion, said that their audience for the new program management certificate are those who are out of school and interested in the athletic and outdoor industry.

“We’re really targeting students who probably already have a degree and are currently working in an A&O retail store or in an A&O company already, but maybe want to move into a position or want to move up,” Pederson said Or it’s people who are doing something totally different and want to get into the industry. That’s who our courses are for.”

There are five required courses that will start in midJanuary. Each course is five evenings long, Mondays and Wednesdays, from 6–9 p.m.

Since the people taking these courses most likely have a degree already, it is not necessary to be a PSU student. The program is open to anyone, and registration opened last week.

“I think the cool thing about [this program] is that the instructors all currently work in the industry,” Pederson said. “So anybody taking the non-credit program is going to get a lot of exposure

to people [who] are in the job that they may want to do themselves.”

The first course in the series, Introduction to the Athletic and Outdoor Industry, will be taught by Beitelspacher. The next is Product Planning, taught

by Mitch Menendez, the director of football apparel at Nike.

Austin Davidsen and Will Sandman will teach the third class, Material Sourcing, together. Both men work for leather and synthetic leather companies that distribute to other big companies who make shoes.

The fourth class is Merchandise Management, taught

by Sue Parham. Parham has worked for Columbia, Nike, as well as other athletic companies, and also founded her own marketing firm.

The fifth and final course is Branding and Positioning, taught by Ian Yolles, who is currently working in the sustainability side of Recyclebank. He was also the co-founder of Nau, a social venture apparel company.

“We have a great breadth of instructors that have direct connections with the indus-

ties in the state, allocates the budget after it has been submitted by the governor’s office and approved by state legislature. They have faced challenges as Oregon universities grow larger.

“In the last decade, the budget has gone up and down, but mostly down,” said Diane Saunders, OUS communications director.

“We are at the same level as 10 years ago, not adjusted for inflation, and with 30,000 more students.”

But Saunders believes it is essential for higher education to be available to as

many people as possible.

“If you don’t have highly educated citizens, it’s hard to attract the large companies that everyone needs,” Saunders said. “It’s a chicken and egg. They won’t come in if you don’t have a strong cadre of educated employees to hire. It’s not just selfinterest, it’s public interest.”

While the decrease is a victory for students, one political challenge is getting young people to participate.

“A major legislative hurdle facing students as we try to win priority in statewide budgeting and policy deci-

Portland State starts new certificate program

sions is the low turnout of youth (ages 18–29) in elections,” Eric Noll, legislative affairs director for the Associated Students of Portland State University, said in an email. “Students are not seen as an important part of the electorate and as a result are often marginalized in political decision making. If students registered and turned out to vote in elections at a similar rate to people ages 40–65, our needs will be prioritized, including the need for an affordable, accessible and quality education.”

GWEN SHAW

Last year, the Portland State School of Business Administration began offering undergraduate classes in the athletic and outdoor industry in order to appeal to students and those in the industry.

With positive feedback and interest in the courses, the Athletic and Outdoor Industry Certificate Program was launched this fall.

“When we announced last spring that we were going to begin offering this program in the fall, the response was overwhelming,” said Lauren Beitelspacher, assistant professor and director of the program. “We had tons of undergraduate students inquiring about the program.”

Beitelspacher said they had working professionals inquiring about the program as well.

“This led us to develop the Athletic and Outdoor Product Management Certificate through our Center for Executive and Professional Education,” Beitelspacher said.

Though they’re similar in content, the primary difference between the two programs is the intended audience. Kristen Pederson, director of Center for Executive and Professional Educa-

©ASSOCIATED PRESS

try,” Pederson said. “I think it’s a fantastic opportunity for anyone that wants to go into the industry.”

Beitelspacher added that students who are interested in working in the industry are really at an advantage. “[They] are better prepared to understand the nuances and unique challenges of the athletic and outdoor industry,” she said.

The program is also the first of its kind. “There are so many companies in this area of all sizes and I really think this will get people excited and give them a lot of information,” said Melissa Endicott, a program manager for the Center for Executive and Professional Education.

Currently, Oregon has over 800 athletic and out-

door companies.

“The industry has a huge impact on the Oregon economy and is a competitive advantage for the region,” Beitelspacher said. “We hope that we are poised to add to the talent pool to make this area even more attractive for athletic and outdoor firms.”

For more information, visit http://www.pdx.edu/sba/ athletic-outdoor.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

7

OPINION

ENDER OF THE LINE WHY YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE ORSON SCOTT CARD YOUR MONEY

Just a Phase

by Konrad Juengling

©SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT

“He actively campaigns against marriage equality. He advocates that sodomy laws should be kept on the books in America to punish gays. He’s claimed that gay people are self-loathing victims of child abuse.”

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

The feature film adaptation of Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game will be released Nov. 1. What I’m hoping to see are lots of empty theater seats, rather than a rush to the theaters. Why the antipathy for a much-lauded book coming to film? Because I am a firm believer in the old adage, “With every dollar you spend, you are casting a vote for the kind of world you want.”

The world that I want to live in doesn’t have anything to do with the world Orson Scott Card wrote about in Ender’s Game.

It’s much, much closer to home, and something that would be better for all of us. The kind of world I want to live in is one where everyone is treated with respect, everyone has the same rights and freedoms and people respect one another’s decisions. This is not a world that Orson Scott Card wants to be a part of in reality (or in his book, for that matter).

Card is on the board of directors of the National Organization for Marriage. NOM has been classified by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a hate group. The SLPC has been instrumental in public education and legal representation against all sorts of hate groups, including the Ku Klux Klan, white supremacists, neo-Confederates, racist music groups, Holocaust deniers and many more. These obviously aren’t groups that people with a rational worldview seek out. If you truly respect others, you don’t desire any affiliations with groups like the KKK, Aryan Nations or the Westboro Baptist Church. Card, on the other hand, champions the efforts of NOM and believes that “the homosexual agenda” is something worth fighting.

He actively campaigns against marriage equality. He advocates that sodomy laws should be kept on the books in America to punish gays. He’s claimed that gay people are self-loathing victims of child abuse. He doesn’t stop there, though. He argues that gay marriage “marks the end of democracy in America,” homosexuality is a “tragic genetic mixup” and that allowing courts to redefine marriage to include same sex couples is a slippery slope into gay rule, where anyone who does not agree with gay marriage will be categorized as “mentally ill.”

Say what?

We can dismiss the paranoid gay conspiracies Card sees all around him. It’s pretty obvious he comes from the “Obama is a shape-shifting alien” camp when it comes to conspiracy theories. What I don’t think we should dismiss is the fact that Card actively advocates for people to be denied rights that he himself enjoys. Not only does this make him a bigot, it makes him a hypocrite. Although marriage equality and putting everyone on an even playing field within the law would not affect him personally, Card feels the need to go out of his way to make sure no one who isn’t like him has the same rights he does. Is it hetero-centric? Homophobic? Prejudiced? Bigoted? Yes, yes, yes and yes.

Do we really want to be giving our money to someone who campaigns for inequality, social stratification of people according to his personal morals and laws that criminalize love? Do we want to line the pockets of someone that donates to a hate group? By spending money on this film, his book or any other Card works, we’re casting a vote for a world in which the rights of gay people are nonexistent and being gay is criminalized. We’re voting for a world that is dependent on one man’s extreme views; views that are hateful, spiteful, ignorant and demeaning.

A sci-fi film like Ender’s Game may look alluring, but to boycott this film sends a message that we are not complacent about meaningless oppression. Seeing Ender’s Game supports hate, oppression, stigmatization and bigotry. Let’s stand up for what we know is right and steer clear of contributing to Card’s coffers.

OPINION

FALLEN STARLETS STOP USING CELEBRITIES TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF

The Pop Culture Ephebe

by Joshua Benson

I feel weird about how people have perceived Britney Spears over the course of her career.

“Baby One More Time” and “Oops! I Did It Again” convinced us she was a tame adolescent. Spears rocked turtleneck chic and wholesome morals. She reigned as America’s 21st century darling.

Her next two albums incorporated occasional tier-three profanity. She made out with Madonna. She strategically matured into America’s 21st century young woman.

Suddenly, as Spears’ meticulously contrived trajectory approached its zenith, she broke script. She shaved her head, married a couple bums, accosted an innocent automobile with an umbrella and stumbled through an infamous Video Music Awards performance.

What happened next is the really interesting part. Though Spears disintegrated before our eyes, America couldn’t forsake its paragon of sensibility in an era of relaxing morals. So when Circus delivered an aged, post-meltdown Spears who wielded half of the star power she used to, the public granted her an illusory comeback.

Now glassy-eyed and childlike, Spears recites cliches so blatantly rehearsed she might as well hold a script during interviews. Still, no matter how weird she looks dancing “’til the world ends,” nobody raises an inquisitive eyebrow, because she’s at least somewhat our Britney again.

Spears’ management effortlessly shoved the 31-year-old mother back into the persona of a 16-year-old pop princess.

Well, since Britney fills that archetype, the train wreck slot is freed up for Lindsay Lohan. Ever since her first DUII in 2007, the public has fetishized Lohan’s spiral because she provides an image against which the public may contrast its own poor behavior and guilt.

Unsurprisingly, this renounced young woman continues with her unsavory actions. Why wouldn’t she? She’s not allowed to change her persona. Like Spears’ 2007 rebellion, Lohan’s commended performances and cultural and political interests cannot overcome her public role once it’s been bolted into place.

©2013 BRITNEY SPEARS

What about Rihanna, who documents her faded-ness on Instagram? Despite the booze and bud that make up a good part of her life, she’s not lambasted like Lohan.

See, Rihanna’s the renegade—the pop star whose opposition to common decency is alluring. This time, the public regonizes similar counter-cultural acts in itself, because, in Rihanna’s case, it’s sexy. If Rihanna were to take on Britney’s decency, she’d lose her appeal. If Lohan commandeered Rihanna’s bad-girl tendencies, the public would be disgusted.

These stars are forced to stay within the boundaries of the character that all of us have created, including them. We follow these starlets as if we’re waiting for what they will do next in order to judge them, but we’re fooling ourselves. We’ve already judged them into a box out of which they can’t escape, no matter what behavior they exhibit to the contrary. We need these prototypes in order to create a paradigm of social behavior.

The stars aren’t people anymore, but projections that maintain our sense of good and bad.

So what happens when someone forms her own unsanctioned persona? We have no idea how to call it, so we eradicate it. For example, the strange case of Amanda Bynes.

Over the last year and a half, Bynes has treated the public to her torrid pursuance of Drake, her DUIIs, her public pot smoking and, most oddly, her retraction and denial of all of these things.

Bynes succeeded in getting everyone’s attention, to three distinct effects. Celebrity outreach pitied her (only to be called ugly and sent packing). Fans made game of her, sharply increasing her popularity. Others, like Drake Bell, claimed nothing was wrong— that her bizarre actions weren’t as strange as everyone thought.

Bynes’ behavior was so all over the place that she failed to create or inhabit an identifiable archetype. Not surprisingly, when she was finally committed, she faded into obscurity. We never found much use for her, so we disposed of her.

It is time to stop looking at these stars’ personal lives at all. We are supposed to value these people for their work, not their media identity. The fact that people behind keyboards tell them to die, or that they’re QUEEN or even stand up for them shows that both rabid fans and detractors are delusional. It shows an inability to live one’s own life without a scapegoat for one’s self-assessment.

Comparing and contrasting your choices with a celebrity’s certainly doesn’t make them any less your own.

Leave Britney alone.

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OPINION

GOOD GUYS FINISH LAST FOR THE RIGHT REASONS The Cuddlefish

by Adam LaMascus I’m willing to bet that most of us have heard the saying “nice guys finish last” and the modern rewrite “nice guys finish last because they make sure their women come first.” The second part of this statement is true; however, there needs to be an addendum to it. Please insert “for the right reasons” at the end of the phrase.

“What do you mean?” you may ask. To which I say: There are many men who make women orgasm for the sole purpose of bragging rights, and this is not cool at all. I’ve overheard their idiotic conversations and I’ve seen their moronic Facebook posts. In short, work hard to make women orgasm because you like them and want them to enjoy themselves.

Before we get too far into this editorial, I would like to say that this article is geared toward men. This is because, frankly, I’ve never met a lesbian who didn’t already know all of the things I’m about to say, while I have met plenty of men who do not.

First, and perhaps most importantly, guys, do not just jackhammer away and expect your lady friend to suddenly experience a world-shattering orgasm. Or any orgasm, as it turns out. A study by Harvard University showed that 75 percent of women do not orgasm from vaginal intercourse. I think that bears repeating. Only a quarter of women can reliably orgasm from vaginal intercourse. The study showed that penis size, duration of sex, skill in bed and emotional closeness had no effect on how often women experienced orgasm. The same study also showed that 50–67 percent of women fake orgasms. I suspect there was a lot of overlap between these women and the ones whose lovers just flop on top of them and expect it to be good enough.

Therefore, guys, usage of your fingers and tongue should come standard; vibrators are also wonderful helpers in that regard. Whether you use a toy or go au naturale, provide some sort of clitoral stimulation and take your time. Don’t monofocus on the clitoris, but give it plenty of attention. And for god’s sake, be gentle with it. Don’t be afraid to ask what she likes—you may be surprised or learn something new. Besides, what women want is as varied as women, so asking can’t hurt.

CORINNA SCOTT/PSU VANGUARD

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On a related note, be supportive. As a man, I didn’t really realize until fairly late that many women suffer from self-esteem issues revolving around their vaginas.

While completing my undergrad work at Oregon State University, I saw a production of The Vagina Monologues that really made me realize how self-conscious women often are about their vaginas. Similarly, last week I skimmed a book alleging to be a how-to guide for giving women orgasms; the entire book was effectively “ladies, you are beautiful, just relax and let it happen.” I was both disappointed by the lack of variety of content and rather forcefully reminded of how common sexual self-esteem problems can be.

Guys, be kind, relaxed and attentive, and work to make your partner(s) orgasm as much as they’d like. I’ve been told by female friends that few things make them feel as attractive as when a guy takes his time and enjoys orally pleasing them.

Now, on to the second portion of my thesis. Again, this bears repeating: Work on giving your partner an orgasm because, y’know, you actually like her and want her to enjoy herself.

Once upon a time I was standing in line at a Circle K down in Corvallis, and my ears were subjugated to the blatherings of some mega-prick, loudly yakking away about how he was such a stud for making his latest squeeze orgasm.

I’m sure some people may be thinking, “Isn’t an orgasm for the wrong reasons better than no orgasm at all?” Possibly, but that is highly contentious. I’ve had conversations with friends who talked about having orgasms with losers like the guy in Circle K, and without fail, all of them said it made them feel used, like they were just another conquest that the guy would brag about (maybe loudly in Circle K).

On the topic of bragging: I get that talking about sex is fun; I enjoy talking about sex (you kind of have to to write a sex column). However, don’t kiss and tell. Yes, it’s natural to want to discuss some of the details of your sex life, and that’s fine, within reason. What counts as “within reason” definitely varies from relationship to relationship and person to person (that means you, your lady friend and the friend(s) you are talking to), but loudly boasting about it is such an obvious “don’t do it” move that I shouldn’t have to waste the energy to say so.

Believe it or not, if you make women feel really good physically and emotionally, they are more likely to want to spend time with you in the future! Crazy, I know.

In this regard, and in general, don’t be selfish about sex.

I’d also like to emphasize that during and after orgasms, both men and women are often feeling especially sensitive or vulnerable, so work extra hard to be conscientious. Taking care of your partner is a really rewarding experience in so many ways.

OPINION

SELFIES: EMPOWERING OR JUST PLAIN SELF-ABSORBED? WHAT THIS PHOTO TREND REALLY REFLECTS

Everywhere and Here

by Eva-Jeanette Rawlins The word “selfie” is defined in the Urban Dictionary as “A picture taken of yourself that is planned to be uploaded to…[a] social networking website…usually accompanied by a kissy face or the individual looking in a direction that is not toward the camera.”

I wonder if there’s an entry for the word “kissy” as well.

Not that any of us would need one. These days, selfie kissyfaces are pretty much standard fare on Facebook, Instagram and wherever else social networking happens. We all know that unmistakable pucker. Generally, a raised eyebrow completes the look, as well as a feigned look of oblivion to the fact that you’re holding the camera a few inches from your face.

It is now completely normal for people to take the most inane pictures of themselves—in the car, in the bathroom, in bed, at the store or wherever it seems necessary to document what you look like. Taking photos of or with other people is becoming rarer and rarer. You page through some people’s photo albums and find the same close-up photo of them—just on a different day.

Some suggest that the phenomenon of selfies, which are generally but not exclusively taken by teenage girls, is a sign that the photographers are embracing their bodies, celebrating their beauty and proudly asserting themselves. Research psychologist Dr. Peggy Drexler points to examples like Lena Dunham of the TV show Girls, who is the queen of selfies in real life as well as on her show. Drexler discusses her tendency to appear “naked or in various states of undress” in pictures that “aren’t necessarily flattering by typical standards. They challenge the ‘Hollywood ideal’ and that…is a good thing, especially when size zero celebrities dominate so much of the modern day visual barrage. The more we see a range of body types, the better.”

CORINNA SCOTT/PSU VANGUARD

Dr. Pamela Rutledge, director of the Media Psychology Research Center, even goes as far to say that the intimacy of selfies gives them a “level of self-conscious authenticity that is different from even a candid photograph—they are more raw and less perfect.”

On the one hand, there’s truth to the idea that the more we are exposed to varying expressions of beauty, the more our appreciation will grow for all types. This is important. Very important.

But on the other hand, why does beauty have to be defined physically? Just because more girls are snapping their looks doesn’t mean they feel any more beautiful inside. Chances are they’re not taking selfies when they’re bloated or on an especially bad hair day. It’s still based on looking beautiful.

Further, I disagree with Rutledge’s assessment that selfies are more “raw and less perfect.” In whose world? Selfies are carefully orchestrated shots. Even when someone looks like they’ve just rolled out of bed, the sexy, tousled hair, dewy eyes and rosy cheeks scream anything but “raw.” I wake up with crusty eyes, matted hair and traces of dried drool across my cheek. I’m not reaching for the camera.

No, selfies are beauty shots that are not meant to look like beauty shots. We’re supposed to think the subject has been caught in the act of just being naturally beautiful. Which is only slightly ridiculous. Catching yourself pursing your lips and looking off into the distance is the epitome of unrehearsed, right?

Drexler goes on to suggest that rather than an expression of confidence, the selfie is a “manifestation of society’s obsession with looks and its ever-narcissistic embrace.”

I couldn’t agree more. There’s nothing liberating about this trend. If anything, it’s sucking people into the continued deception that they are the center of the universe and it’s their beauty that makes them special. As Drexler comments, “It’s like looking in the mirror all day long and letting others see you do it.”

Imagine that! No one would be so vain, right? People checking the mirror and primping every few minutes? That’d be embarrassing. So why is it perfectly normal if it’s on Instagram?

It’s funny how technology seems to do away with so many social etiquettes. Like, say, talking.

Technology makes it okay to bully people, “chat” away to a screen, befriend and un-friend people, and now to be publicly obsessed with how we look. I like the phrase “ever-narcissistic embrace” because it’s just that—a fake hug. When we constantly glorify our physical beauty and allow it to define our worth, we may feel a slight burst of comfort and reassurance for a few minutes, but then we have to rush back into the race of staying perfect.

We don’t need any more of that. Instead, truly seeing others, allowing them into our frames and building a community of authentic and kind people around us is so much more beautiful. So much more.

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ARTS & CULTURE

THE EVIL OF THE CHILLER Dark Horse releases new horror comic Colder

TRISTAN COOPER

It’s about that time. The days are getting shorter. The sky is getting darker. The weather is getting colder.

Just in time for Halloween, Dark Horse Comics has released Colder, a psychological thriller written by Portland’s Paul Tobin and drawn by Juan Ferreyra.

The story doesn’t fit into traditional expectations for the horror genre. There isn’t a new breed of serial killer on the streets. There isn’t a creepy cabin that preys on teenage fornicators. There isn’t a mysterious benefactor daring a group of strangers to spend the night in a haunted house.

The title is derived from its protagonist, Declan, who is doomed to get colder every year of his life. With a temperature below 50 degrees, Declan sits in an apartment, mostly

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©DARK HORSE COMICS

motionless, under the supervision of his caretaker, Reece.

A being named Nimble Jack is responsible for Declan’s condition, having cursed him during a fire at a mental institution 70 years prior. Jack is an enigma, a slithering kind of demon that looks like the Joker dressed as the world’s most menacing mime.

We see Jack slinking through the world, invisible to most, eating the souls of the vulnerable and driving them to suicide. In an early scene, Jack creeps into a jail cell and coaxes an inmate into a new belt noose. It’s hard to nail down Nimble Jack; from beginning to end, it’s hard to predict what he will do or even what he’s capable of.

That uncertainty is consistent throughout Colder.

Nimble Jack’s return awak-

ens Declan, who whisks Reece away to “The Hungry World,” a parallel dimension that looks like a post-apocalyptic M.C. Escher painting.

In an effort to escape Jack’s grasp, Declan accesses this world using insane people as conduits, usually the homeless ranting and raving.

Part of the surprise is the fact that there is a surprise at all. So many horror plots are simple padding between each hapless victim’s gruesome demise. Without a familiar setting and cast of disposable young adults, Colder already had a leg-up before its intriguing premise. Though long bouts of expository dialogue slow the story down in spots, for most of the duration Colder is a unique and unpredictable story well-told.

Its use of the mentally ill as a plot device is either troubling or illuminating, or maybe both. In Colder, the saddest and most tortured people Declan runs into on the street are actually linked to the insanity of the parallel Hungry World. He’s conflicted about using them for his own ends and even attempts to make amends at one point. But the story itself is still writing in a fantasy explanation for the real agony of actual people we see every day on the street.

It could be considered insulting, but if we decide to be offended by Colder, we then have to consider the rest of comics in popular culture.

For decades, Batman has been sending the criminally insane back to Arkham Asylum. Characters like the Joker, Two-Face and the Riddler are specific kinds of crazy, but the only lenience comics and movies afford them for their condition is that they are rarely killed or executed for their actions. Perhaps Colder feels different be-

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cause its mentally ill are victims with faces and names that could be real, instead of fantasy villains armed with fatal laughing gas.

As nebulous as the story can be, its illustrations are undeniably impressive Ferreyra does a fantastic job of creating an entire dimension in the Hungry World and a creepy and frightening villain in Nimble Jack.

His idiosyncratic look is like a refined version of a cartoonists’ sketchbook.

The “real” world is lush, filled in with soft textures that look like they were made from colored pencil with watercolor highlights.

That same technique is used

to illustrate the grisly and inventive gore (not to mention Hungry World in its entirety), making it all the more remarkable.

Ferreyra’s greatest achievement might be Nimble Jack himself. Whether he’s crawling sideways through a doorway or faking empathy with a pouty lip, Jack always feels like a fully realized character, a fresh kind of pure evil.

You have a lot of options when it comes to Halloween

media. There are a ton of safe and predictable routes to go down if you don’t want to be creeped out. Assuredly, at some point the SyFy Channel will let you watch Jason hack a bunch of kids to death, this time on a boat. Or you could ditch the security blanket and go for something a little bit different.

Available at comic shops and bookstores everywhere and at www.darkhorse.com

DARK HORSE COMICS presents COLDER Paul Tobin, Juan Ferreyra $17.99 paperback, $7.99 digital

Have you ever heard of KPSU? Have you ever made the trek deep into the dungeons (i.e. sub-basement) of Smith Memorial Student Union to enter the utopian plane of creation, collaboration and radical rock ‘n’ roll shred of Portland’s College Radio? Two hundred feet below ground level in our nuclear bunker with solid concrete walls, we drop radio bombs 24/7. KPSU has a deep commitment to student-driven free-format radio, which means that DJs create their own programming. We don’t tell them what to do. We’ll leave the brainwashing to Clear Channel, Fox News, The Church of Scientology and your mother.

KPSU has our ear to the ground. We’re hip to the times. We hate twerking. We love Halloween.

When we were asked to create this column, we sought to invoke the spirit of the noble ant and combined to create a cerebral capacity that truly reflects the station as the sum of its parts. Each week there will be words from KPSU in the Vanguard. If we’re lucky, these words will create intelligible sentences. If the stars align, we’ll bring you the latest music news, album reviews, playlists and everything you need to be cooler than skinny jeans, thick-rimmed glasses, Doc Martens and PBR. This week marks the date when the veil between our world and the great beyond is most transparent. Souls, ghouls and spirits come out to play. Don’t give the stink eye to miscreants. The undead are to blame for the smashed pumpkins and TP’d trees in your front yard. To help you get in touch with the season, our DJs have contributed to KPSU’s spooktacular Halloween playlist.

Below are the first 10 tracks. The rest of the playlist can be found at www.tinyurl.com/ KPSUhalloween Queens of the Stone Age–“Burn The Witch” Tracy Jordan–“Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” The Cramps–“Creature from the Black Leather Lagoon” Screamin’ Jay Hawkins–“I Put a Spell on You”

Lydia Lunch–“Spooky” Release The Bats–“The Birthday Party” Tobin Sprout–“Cereal Killer” The Sonics–“The Witch” David Bowie–“Please, Mr. Gravedigger” Harry Belafonte–“Zombie Jamboree”

TRANSPORTATION GUIDE

THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE POSSIBLY CRAZY A LOOK AT PORTLAND’S TRIMET SYSTEM BRIE BARBEE ATTENDING A university in the heart of a big city can cause certain problems that you wouldn’t experience at a more rural campus, especially regarding transportation and parking.

It seems like your only options if you want to drive to school are to drive the streets around campus until you find an open parking spot, buy one of the overpriced parking passes or pay by day to park in a third-party structure.

Even if you happen to find a spot on the street to park your car, it’s likely that you’ll have to find another before the day is up, because most parking spots on the streets around Portland State are only valid for three hours—or, more likely, just one hour.

You could also buy a parking pass through the school or through an independently

owned parking garage somewhere downtown, but the cost of doing that is just terrible.

Driving your car downtown can easily mean paying too much and going to far too much trouble to find an open parking spot, only to get stuck in rush hour traffic on your way back home.

There has to be another option, right?

Your best bet—besides walking or riding a bike to school—is to use public transportation. TriMet offers three different types of publicly funded transportation around the greater Portland area: the bus, the MAX and the streetcar.

Depending on where you live, you could use any three of these forms of transportation to get to school and around town, or even a combination of all three.

The cost of riding TriMet is much cheaper than it is to drive your own car. You don’t have to pay for gas or outra-

geous parking fees when you ride public transportation.

Five dollars gets you a day pass, which works for all of the TriMet services and can get you nearly anywhere within the Portland metro area.

If you have a PSU ID on you, you can even ride the streetcar for free and make your way to the waterfront, Lloyd Center or NW 23rd whenever you want during the day.

However, despite the money it can save you and the good you’re doing the environment by not driving, some people are very against the idea of using public transportation.

There was a major pushback in Vancouver, Wash., last year when TriMet proposed extending the MAX line across the river. People didn’t want to see the MAX in Vancouver, even though its existence would dramatically alleviate traffic going into Portland and lessen the stress on the I-5 bridge.

The fear that many people had about the MAX making its way into Washington state and the supposed increase in crime that it would cause resulted in several proposals to fix existing bus stops by making them cleaner and brighter, but the proposals were immediately shut down.

People just didn’t want the MAX. But why?

What about all the benefits of extending the reach of Portland’s public transportation?

Couldn’t these people see that making TriMet more accessible would lessen the amount of traffic going downtown and ultimately be better for the environment and our wallets?

Are the few negative aspects of riding public transportation (which were greatly exaggerated during last year’s discussion) really outweighing its benefits?

Don’t get me wrong, there are negative aspects to riding public transportation; I’m very aware of them as I ride

the MAX to school every day during the week. However, there are negative things about everything that we do in our lives. It’s just a matter of deciding which option has the least amount of negative aspects.

If you choose to ride public transportation, you are limited to travel by the set schedule put down by TriMet, and missing any of the scheduled stops can add an additional 15 to 45 minutes to the time it takes to get somewhere.

You also have to deal with other people who are using public transportation. That means that during rush hour it might get busy, similarly to the way the freeway gets busy during rush hour. The main difference is that it doesn’t usually delay the schedule.

You might be stuck riding on a crowded bus or MAX train, but you’ll be able to travel more quickly to your destination than if you were stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeway.

It’s also likely that you’ll have to deal with loud, annoying or potentially scary people while riding public transportation. It can’t be helped, but the TriMet drivers are there to help you out.

If you are riding the bus at night, the drivers will stop at any point along the route to get you closer to your destination. You can also easily report disruptive people to the TriMet driver, and they will handle the situation.

There are negative aspects to riding public transportation, but there are also negative factors in choosing to drive your car downtown. However, I believe that the positive aspects far outweigh the bad. Making use of public transportation is a cheaper and better alternative for any student.

Of all the things that students worry about during college, looking and paying for parking just to get to school shouldn’t be one of them.

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TRANSPORTATION GUIDE

BIKE SAFE! DERA VICK

❱ ❱ RIDE WITH TRAFFIC!

❱ ❱ ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET!

Once upon a time when I was living off campus and commuted in every day, I refused to wear my helmet because “I didn’t want helmet hair.” One bike accident later in which I almost split my head open on the pavement, I changed my tune. It’s not worth it. Perfect hair means nothing when you’re putty in the road. A good friend of mine was blind-sided recently and thrown completely over the car; he would have died had he not been wearing his helmet.

Fortunately, he’s still here, albeit concussed and brokenfooted, and it was because he wore his helmet.

❱ ❱ USE LIGHTS!

Portland is gray and rainy and it’s only going to get grayer and rainier in the coming months, which makes it super important to use lights. Use a white light in the front and a red light in the back. They tell cars that you’re there so you won’t end up underneath one.

❱ ❱ WEAR REFLECTIVE CLOTHING!

It’s not necessary to go out and buy a bright orange rain jacket, but it is necessary to wear reflective gear. If you don’t want to purchase a snazzy new raincoat, you can get reflective strips to put on your bag or the back of your (hopefully not black) jacket, or reflective arm or ankle cuffs. It doesn’t matter what you do; just be seen.

There will be times when you won’t have a bike lane to ride in.

When that happens, you’re another vehicle on the road, just like cars. Ride on the right in a predictable manner, according to the rules of the road. When you ride against traffic, cars won’t necessarily see you, especially those pulling out of side streets.

❱ ❱ KEEP YOUR BIKE MAINTAINED!

Make sure you check your brakes and tire pressure at least once a week. It shouldn’t take you more than 10–20 feet to stop. If it does, take your bike into the Bike Hub and tighten them up!

Worse case, you need to replace your brake pads, which is decently inexpensive. It’s better than the alternative—you uncontrollably going down a rainy hill with no way to stop.

❱ ❱ BEWARE OF TRAIN TRACKS!

There are MAX tracks everywhere in Portland, and it’s painfully easy to slip on one and crash your bike. However, a crash is easily avoided if you cross the tracks as close to a right angle as possible.

❱ ❱ WEAR A HELMET!

Seriously guys, I can’t stress this one enough. These tips are certainly not exhaustive, and I encourage you to download ODOT’s bicycle manual to get even more tips. You can also check out the Bicycle Transportation Alliance (BTA) for safe biking routes. At the end of the day, lights are cheap and helmets are cheap, you have no excuse not to ride safe.

Happy riding!

CHRISTOPHER PERALTA/PSU VANGUARD

RAIN GEAR HEATHER WILSON IF YOU bike, walk or take public transportation in Portland, you will need gear to help you stay dry. The cost of decent rain gear doesn’t have to have to break the bank; a little work and planning can keep you—and your money—warm and dry.

❱ ❱ NEXT ADVENTURE

426 SE Grand Ave. Portland, OR 97214 If you’re looking for pro outdoor gear, but don’t want to cough up the exorbitant price, Deek & Brian’s Next Adventure have a bargain basement that offers gently used or clearance items at remarkable savings.

❱ ❱ REI

1405 NW Johnson St. Portland, OR 97209 REI also has regular “garage sales” that can net serious savings on used or returned items, with the price of a $20 membership.

❱ ❱ ROSS DRESS FOR LESS

618 SW 5th Ave. Portland, OR 97204

❱ ❱ T.J. MAXX

604 SW Washington St. Portland, OR 97204 If fashion is important to you, stop by Ross or T.J. Maxx.

While the coats may be a little pricey, these stores often carry an excellent selection of gloves and hats that will keep you cozy at a comfortable price.

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❱ ❱ GOODWILL

838 SW 10th Ave. Portland, OR 97205 Secondhand stores like Goodwill are the perfect place to get some decent winter gear. Even though scoring quality fashion at secondhand stores can require a little extra work and dedication, it is possible. Quality winter items are harder to get when the demand is high. Luckily, secondhand stores rotate inventory at lightening speeds, so don’t give up if you don’t find what you’re looking for on the first visit.

❱ ❱ ANDY AND BAX

324 SE Grand Ave. Portland, OR 97214 A less troublesome—but much uglier—option is the military surplus store. These stores offer a large selection of durable (if unfashionable) cold and wet weather gear at low prices.

❱ ❱ HOME DEPOT

10120 SE Washington St. Portland, OR 97216 If you are looking for light weight rain gear and don’t mind looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Tyvek coveralls cost about $12 from any home improvement store. They are lightweight, breathable, and guaranteed to keep you dry.

Just be sure to select a size big enough to slip easily over street clothes.

❱ ❱ MORE TIPS:

Keeping your backpack dry is an important consideration.

There is always the go-to garbage bag cover that is quick and easy.

No matter what you buy, the most important thing in your rain gear arsenal is a $10 bottle of waterproofing product like NikWax. Whether cotton, wool or nylon, as long as the garment is washable, you can make it waterproof. Just follow the directions on the bottle, and your coat, gloves or hat will keep you warm and dry for many winters to come.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

RAIN GEAR Women’s Novara Headwind bike gloves–$39.50, rei.com Women’s Merrel Angelic Peak waterproof boots–$139.99, nextadventure.net Tyvek no elastic coverall–$12.05, homedepot.com 300ml Nikwax Basewash–$9.50, nikwax-usa.com

TRANSPORTATION GUIDE HOW TO KEEP YOUR BIKE FROM GETTING STOLEN COBY HUTZLER 1. Make it as unattractive as possible. If your bike looks like a bigger pile of junk than the one next to it, you’re off to a good start.

2. Cable locks are better than no lock at all and will stop the most opportunistic of thieves. However, they can be shockingly easy to get through with the right tools. Consider upgrading to a u-lock or chain (or both) if losing your bike would devastate you.

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3. If your bike has quick release wheels, consider investing in a pair of security skewers. These require a special tool for removal, preventing sticky-fingered thieves from snatching your wheels and leaving the rest.

4. If you want to keep your bike lights, take them off when you rack your bike.

5. Consider renting a space in one of the Bike Hub’s six secure bike parking rooms and garages on campus. A space is $15 per term or $45 per year.

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6. Make sure you’ve actually locked your bike to the rack. It can be easy to miss the fact that, in threading your long cable or chain lock through your frame and your wheel, your bike’s really only locked to itself. It’s a humiliating mistake that you only need to make once.

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7. If you’re allowed to take your bike into your workplace, do it. Even then, consider locking it to something like a chair or some furniture. Anything you can do to make your bike more difficult to walk off with is a good step to take.

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HOW TO RIDE YOUR BIKE IN THE RAIN WITHOUT HATING YOUR LIFE COBY HUTZLER A GOOD set of full-coverage fenders will go a long way toward keeping you dry. A quickie clamp-on rear fender will keep your butt dry, but not much else. Your wheels sling water in all directions, and full-coverage fenders will keep grimy wheel water from soaking your legs. These start at around $35 at the Bike Hub on campus.

Rain gear, like jackets and pants, can get spendy—but it’s worth it, especially if riding in the wet is something you’ll be doing often. Look for used rain gear that’s in good shape or watch for sales at bike shops and outdoor stores.

If it’s wet and cold, you’ll need to layer up; rain gear is designed to keep you dry, not warm. If it’s wet out, but not too cold, anything more than a rain jacket over your regular garb is likely to steam you like a lobster.

Covers for your shoes and gloves for your hands will go a long way toward keeping you comfortable. These come in as many shapes and sizes as there are flavors of ice cream, so shop around and find what you like.

Make sure your bike is in good working order. Nothing sucks more than hoofing a busted bike across town in the rain.

Accept that despite everything you may do, you’re still going to get a little wet. “Waterproof” is a silly word here. Pretend it doesn’t exist.

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CHRISTOPHER PERALTA/PSU VANGUARD

ALAN HERNANDEZ-AGUILAR/PSU VANGUARD

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TRANSPORTATION GUIDE ALTERNATIVE PLACES TO PARK

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BREANA HARRIS PARKING IN downtown Portland is never a picnic, and these days, it’s getting harder to find a spot on campus than ever before. With parking permits that cost over $300 per term, you may be looking for alternatives. The city of Portland owns and operates SmartPark, which includes six centrally located public parking facilities with over 4,000 public spaces. More than 300 local businesses will validate your parking so you don’t have to pay, but otherwise, the prices are the same as the city’s SmartMeters: $1.60 per hour. In addition to SmartPark, City Center Parking operates its U-Park lots, including some that offer monthly parking. Be aware of the fees involved any time you park in a private lot, and make sure you don’t get gouged. You may not be able to park next door to campus, but with the right maneuvers, you can get the most out of your trip downtown.

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THE BIKE Hub at Portland State is the go-to cycle shop on campus. Students, staff and faculty can learn basic repair and maintenance skills or drop off their bike for discounted professional repairs.

The Bike Hub offers clinics and classes throughout the year for students to attend, such as Basic Bicycle Maintenance 101, which is offered every Monday in November at noon. The Bike Hub is in the Academic and Student Rec Center at the corner of SW 6th and Harrison.

Another popular Portland bike service is River City Bicycles.

They handle repairs, regular maintenance and upgrades. Although there is not a student discount offered at River City Bicycles, people have the opportunity to receive a discount with a $40 annual membership to the Bicycle Transportation Alliance. River City is located at 706 S.E. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.

Universal Cycles on 2202 E. Burnside St. may have the most comprehensive inventory of sprockets, cogs, widgets and other bike parts in the city. Again, you won’t be able to get a student discount, but they have an experienced repair staff along with their retail goods.

If your tire just needs some air, you may not even need to go to one of these shops or the Bike Hub. There are strategically placed repair stands around campus where you can inflate a tire or perform a quick tune-up. The repair kiosks are in between Cramer and SMSU, SMSU and Neuberger, outside the library and right outside the Bike Hub.

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If you’re looking to get a scenic stroll in between classes, there’s no better place to go than the Tom McCall Waterfront Park. Just a minute away from PSU, this two-mile route takes you along the Willamette River on a path that is foot-, bike- and pet-friendly. Apart from a scenic view you’ll find a score of food carts, street performers and fountains. What better way to stretch your legs?

Location: Naito Parkway, between SW Harrison and NW Glisan How to get there: The park is accessible by countless buses and MAX lines, but when it’s only seconds away from PSU, why not walk?

Named after former Portland Mayor Vera Katz, the Eastbank Esplanade is an ideal getaway for the student looking to escape the confines of the PSU campus. It may be only 1.5 miles BELMONT long, but justSE minutes away from the university, it’s too good to pass up. The floating walkway allows for a beautiful view of the waterfront with the opportunity to see a variety of wildlife, ships and aquatic activity on days where weather allows it. Those looking for a longer walk can follow the loop to connect with the Tom McCall Waterfront Park.

Location: SE Water Avenue & Hawthorne Boulevard How to get there: Fleets of buses and MAX trains can drop you right by the esplanade. If you’re on campus, it’s not too far to get to via foot power.

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This 140-acre park is only minutes from Portland’s downtown. Overgrown with Douglas firs and western red cedars, the park is a local staple for hikers, bird watchers, dog walkSE HAWTHRONE ers and those looking for a weekend getaway or a romantic picnic. The park boasts nearly 50 miles of trails and hundreds of species of birds, flowers and leafy fauna. If you’re looking to experience a bit of nature, give this park a shot!

Location: NW 29th Avenue & Upshur Street How to get there: You can get to Macleay Park by hopping on the 15 and 77 bus lines.

❱ ❱ TRAIN, TRAIL, TRAM & TROLLEY

(THE 4-T EXPERIENCE)

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Nicknamed the “4-T Experience,” this trail gives you a little taste of outdoorsy Portland. Starting at the Oregon Zoo, you take a quick hike on the Marquam Trail to Council Crest, which happens to be the highest point in all of Portland. From there you mosey on through OHSU, where you take a ride on the Tram to the south waterfront. Once you’re there you can catch the streetcar into downtown, where you’re free to explore before catching the MAX train back to the zoo.

Location: The Oregon Zoo is the best place to start.

How to get there: Hop on the Red or Blue MAX lines to the Oregon Zoo to start your trip. It’s easy trekking from there!

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Leafy lovers, this one’s for you! If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the enveloping man-made structures of Portland’s downDIVISION town area, head two miles west to the Hoyt Arboretum.

There you’ll find over 1,400 unique species of greenery and 12 miles of trails waiting for exploration. This makes for a perfect getaway from the concrete jungle.

Location: 4000 S.W. Fairview Blvd How to get there: The Arboretum is just minutes away from the Washington Park MAX Station, accessible from the Red and Blue MAX Lines.

CHRISTOPHER PERALTA/PSU VANGUARD

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TRANSPORTATION GUIDE ALIEN SURGERY AND DOLLS THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE GIGGLES at The Freakybuttrue Peculiarium and Museum.

THE GEMS OF PORTLAND

JINYI QI/PSU VANGUARD

WHERE TO GO TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR CAMPUS GETAWAY BRANDON STALEY PORTLAND MIGHT be small, but it’s still got its fair share of secrets. Luckily our city’s size makes it easy to get around by public transit and experience all the weird wonders it has to offer. Here’s an abbreviated list of some bizarre things you may not have heard of but simply must experience.

1. North Portland Easily accessible via the 4, 44 and MAX Yellow Line, North Mississippi Avenue lives up to its namesake, as it’s brimming with scrumptious Southern fare.

If you’re looking for a sit-down meal, then Miss Delta Restaurant might be right up your alley. Miss Delta has all the staples of Southern cooking that can be hard to find in Portland: Gumbo, jambalaya, po’boy sandwiches, catfish, pulled pork and mac and cheese. They’ll even mix some of their soups into the mac and cheese. Yes, this is delicious.

Yes, this is legal. I have researched these things.

Waffles are a point of contention in Portland. It seems that once you’ve found a place that serves your kind of waffles, the two of you are bonded for life. With that weird foodlationship in mind, I make the bold claim that Miss Kate’s Southern Kitchen, a food cart on Mississippi and Skidmore, has the best traditional waffles in Portland.

2. NW Portland Maybe you’ve been here a term or two and you think you’ve “done Portland.” You’ve eaten your hangover pancake at the 24-hour Hotcake House, you’ve bought the doughnut that looks like a wiener at Voodoo Doughnut and you’ve posted your obligatory selfie with the Made in Oregon sign. But tell me, dear reader, when was the last time you ate some ice cream bugs? Or posed with an 8-foot-tall yeti? Or rummaged through old projector slides you found in a wicker basket? At the The Freakybuttrue Peculiarium and Museum, (ac-

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cessible via the Portland Streetcar, which is free to students) you can accomplish all of these things!

The Peculiarium is actually an offbeat museum. There are some permanent exhibits like an alien autopsy, a fluorescent bathroom and Al Capone’s safe (it’s not actually Al Capone’s safe), but there are temporary exhibits and artwork coming in and out of the place all the time. The important thing to remember about The Peculiarium is that it’s not just some room where a hoarder keeps his junk. The exhibits, while strange, are artful, and the stories surrounding them are funny and expertly crafted. Admission is free, but if you visit you might consider buying something to support the continuation of such weirdness. It doesn’t have to be ice cream with bugs in it, but if it is they’ll put your picture on the wall.

When bigfooting has left you famished, you might consider stopping for the criminally cheap happy hour at Brix Tavern that runs from 3 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. daily. Food ranges from about $3 to $8. Select cocktails, which run the gamut from redneck Iced Tea to Wild Strawberry Lemon Drop, are just $4. Right now Brix is also offering infused vodka cocktails, like fig vodka in Bailey’s, for $3. If that sounds like it fits nicely into a student’s budget, it’s because it does.

3. SE Portland Maybe you’re not really looking to spend the day traipsing around Mississippi or striking poses with a Sasquatch.

Maybe you just want to sit back, have a drink and relax. If beer’s your thing, I have good news for you: You’re in the right city. If you’re not down with beer though, Bushwhacker’s Cider, right off the 9 and the 19, might be the perfect alternative for you.

While Bushwhacker is a cider company, it’s not just their product that they’re selling at their Powell location. This bar might have every conceivable cider known to humankind, and they’re all ridiculously cheap. They don’t stop at apple, either. Sure, you can get your standard bottled fair

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

like Strongbow or Angry Orchard, but you can also find rarer drinks like the delicious Fox Barrel Pear ciders. Imagine it: pear ciders that are actually good!

If you’re feeling hungry, you might stop by the Brooklyn House Restaurant, a restaurant that serves European comfort food right across the road. If you call your order in, they’ll walk it right over to the bar.

4. SW Portland Portland is a brunch city, but sometimes I am my own city.

This city is called Impatience. Population: I don’t want to wait around until 11 a.m. for you to open your restaurant.

Enter breakfast.

Much can be made of a fancy breakfast of poached eggs and delicately prepared sauces atop slow-cooked potatoes, but sometimes I just need a warm tube filled with eggs and bacon. Deli Plaza sells such things, called “burritos,” and they’ll basically put anything you want inside of them fast and on the cheap. Maybe you’re a traditionalist and you just want your eggs, bacon and salsas. That’s cool. Maybe you’re the adventurous type and want to try a burrito stuffed with an entire hash brown. While you’re more than welcome to assemble your own, there are also burritos with predefined ingredients named after regular customers and people who like weird things in theirs.

Did I mention that they’ll put the hash browns inside the burrito?

If early mornings aren’t your thing, take a look at Luc Lac, a Vietnamese restaurant within walking distance from campus but also accessible via the 44, 19 and 9. Luc Lac is unique in that they offer delicious food, a fantastic bar, fast and courteous service and are open until the completely unreasonable hour of 4 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. I won’t cast any aspersions as to what activities one might be involved in at such an hour, but you might do well to grab some pho, salad rolls or sugar cane shrimp after having committed them and presumably outrunning the authorities.

TRANSPORTATION GUIDE

HELL IS OTHER PASSENGERS TURNER LOBEY LIKE THE city we call home, the riders of Portland’s public transportation are an eclectic crew, made up of unique individuals caught in the midst of the urban scramble to get from here to there. Your journey may be long and include inconsistent transfers and drawnout waits, but you’re never too far from your fellow rider.

Though they can be loud, abrasive, silly or sweet, they’re always exceptional. When you’re caught in the monotony of work, school or travel, the person beside you is what defines your ride. You never know whom you might find yourself sitting with, but chances are it’s one of these people.

❱ ❱ THE TRANSIT DJ

This Tapout-wearing, Beatz-blasting, Rockstarslamming gentleman is kind enough to grace the rest of the train with his masterfully crafted playlist. What’s that? You wanted to unwind with some Philip Glass after your excruciating nine-to-five? No need, because the Transit DJ has a full hour of Waka Flocka Flame, Wu Tang and Disturbed on repeat.

Ask him to turn it down?

Big mistake. It’s not happening. There’s only two ways of getting out of this: He leaves or you do.

❱ ❱ THE MAX MISSIONARY

Everyone has experienced the street preachers and the plaza pastors, but there’s

nothing quite like being trapped in enclosed quarters with a man who has his heart set on converting you. He’s out to save your soul, but there’s nothing to save you from 30 minutes of polite nodding and awkward conversation while he reads you scripture. A simple “no, thank you” won’t send him away, and any debating only throws fuel on his heavenly fire.

❱ ❱ THE WEEKEND WARRIOR WITH A CLIPBOARD

Don’t make eye contact.

Whatever you do, don’t ma—ahh, shit. It’s too late.

He’s singled you out. You’re trapped. These sneaky buggers are bad enough on sidewalks and bus stops, but it’s even worse getting cornered on the MAX with someone who is trying to guilt you into signing a piece of paper to put marijuana legalization on the ballot. Once you get sucked into a conversation with these clipboard weekend warriors, there’s no escaping until you’ve signed their petition with blood. I mean, come on! What sick son of a bitch doesn’t care about starving children, protecting the rain forest and stopping sex trafficking? All they need is your signature (and sometimes an address, phone number, social security number, credit card number, blood type, first born child, etc.).

❱ ❱ THE DESPERATE ISOLATIONIST

For the love of God, please leave this person alone.

Can’t you see they have their headphones on and they’re trying to read? The only way they could be more obvious about wanting to be left alone is if they hung a sign around their neck. This poor person is always the victim of unwanted conversations from the Drunk Daves, the High Harrys and the awkward flirters. They’re the only glimmer of hope humanity has on the bus. Just… try to not extinguish that spark, okay?

❱ ❱ THE ONE WITH RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

It looks like she’s having relationship problems again.

Things are going downhill fast. How do you know?

She’s choosing to use this quiet time on the bus to break up with her boyfriend. If you wanted to get the juicy details without any obvious eavesdropping, you’re in luck. She isn’t afraid to tell Brad off at the top of her lungs, and it doesn’t matter that the bus is packed tighter than a can of sardines. The only thing louder than her fiery yells is the uncomfortable silence from the rest of the riders around her.

❱ ❱ DRUNK DAVE AND HIGH HARRY

It’s a miracle they can even get on the bus, really. They

stumble on giggling and reeking of intoxicants and stale tobacco. Bracing for support, they meander to the back of the bus before collapsing into a lethargic pile on a bench. Drunk Dave is hiccuping and sweating booze and High Harry’s giving off a mean contact high that is fumes away from turning the bus into a rolling hotbox. Be warned: They aren’t just TriMet’s comic relief. They range anywhere from Beavis and Butt-Head to Mac, Dennis and Charlie on the rowdy scale. These two have been known to projectile vomit and relieve themselves of other less ideal bodily fluids in motion. It’s best to keep your wits about you when these two are on board.

❱ ❱ PLAN YOUR TRIP AHEAD OF TIME ❱ ❱ AVOID WEIRDOS ❱ ❱ PAY YOUR FARE

❱ ❱ THE VANCOUVER VISITORS

These people aren’t from around these parts. It was probably the fanny packs that gave them away.

Paranoid of coming into the “big city,” they keep their belongings close and their pepper spray closer.

You want to feel sympathetic when they can’t find their way into downtown Portland, but after missing your MAX because they fumbled with the ticket machine for ten minutes, it is vengeful yet oddly satisfying to send them hiking in the opposite direction, hoping they get lost on Burnside.

ALAN HERNANDEZ-AGUILAR/PSU VANGUARD

TRIMET SAFETY TIPS ALEX MOORE LIKE A lot of Portlanders, I am a constant rider of TriMet. I ride the MAX all over Portland. I have ridden dozens of different bus lines to different locations.

Everyone who rides TriMet knows some trips are more “interesting” than others, and if you don’t know what you are doing, it is

not necessarily the safest of places. Trains, buses and streetcars are often populated with interesting characters, you have to figure out where you are going and when you have to leave to get there on time. Keeping this all in mind, here are a few tips to having a safe enjoyable ride on TriMet.

BRITTNEY MUIR/PSU VANGUARD

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TRANSPORTATION GUIDE

ON TRIMET HARASSMENT JOSHUA BENSON

I’M SURE most of you deal with copious amounts of schoolwork and extracurricular activities, not to mention collegiate romantic nomadism and requisite hangovers. This undoubtedly gets stressful, and I’m positive there are times that you think to yourself, “If I have to interact with a single human being right now, I’m going to snap.”

Sorry to say, you will almost certainly interact with someone. What’s more, this person may go so far as to ask you for money. This has happened in most of my Portland bus stop experiences. Luckily, I’ve kept an eye out, and have some advice that may ameliorate the situation.

First off, don’t show your frustration. You’re in Portland, where this is the norm. The reason people feel so comfortable asking for money is because they don’t expect venom, and it’s important that you don’t give them any.

On a recent Sunday around midnight, I waited for the 8 bus at SW 5th and Burnside. I’ll admit, the dirty Shirleys had been flowing like Pepsi, and I was feeling saucy and happily bed-bound.

A man came up and addressed the five or six of us standing at the stop. “Ladies and gentlemen, I need a few dollars.

Now I have to believe there’s some liberal person here to help me.”

Now, in my jacked-up consciousness, this man was leveraging my integrity for cash and I was wildly offended. “How is your financial problem any of our political concern?”

I shouted.

This protracted the situation into an argument, to the distress of the other people waiting, and would have spiraled into a full-fledged battle if the arrival of the bus hadn’t intervened.

I guess the major lesson here is drink responsibly. Also, the idea is to keep your panhandler interactions brief and curt. These guys want your money, not your philosophy.

While they don’t expect attitude, they’re well-acquainted with getting denied. If you maintain steady eye contact and give them a decisive “no,” you should be okay. And believe me, if you fabricate an excuse for not sparing some coin, they’ll spend the rest of your wait trying to reason with you.

If you absolutely cannot bear human interaction while traveling I suggest downloading the TriMet app, which will give you the next two arrivals of all TriMet buses and trains

within a three-mile radius. You can time your departure to avoid any of that insufferable bus stop waiting and minimize the potential of being approached. Also, if you’re like me on a strict schedule, you possess a “don’t screw with me” look that generally keeps the happy-go-lucky drifters at bay.

Feel free to invoke this face even when you’re not in a rush.

It should keep away all disturbances, from pesky canvassers to local junkies.

This is another trick, but I notice that when I’m severely engrossed in music or a book, I’m not confronted as much.

The more involved you are in your distractions (or the more involved you look), the more unapproachable you are.

Portland’s generally safe, but people get weird sometimes.

Someone mugged my friend one night in the Alberta Arts District. Stranger danger exists in Portland just like any other city, and the same rules apply. Use the aforementioned app to ensure shorter nighttime waits at bus stops.

Keep your wits about you. Travel in groups when possible, especially when downtown or at Portland’s northern, southern and eastern limits. Don’t carry anything too valuable if you can help it.

TOP TECH TOOLS FOR TRIMET TOBIN SHIELDS SINCE THE construction of the first MAX light rail in 1986, Portland commuters have been looking for the quickest, most efficient way to navigate through TriMet’s complex public transportation system. In recent years, TriMet and other software developers have created online and mobile devices to help the navigation and payment of trips run much more smoothly.

After extensive review, the Vanguard has compiled our top list of desktop and mobile applications to plan trips, receive real time stop information and even pay for fares!

TRIP PLANNERS: Even for the most seasoned TriMet rider, having to stray away from their normal bus or MAX line can result in utter confusion and misdirection. Thankfully, there are a handful of great ways to plan a trip ahead of time or on the go!

1. “Transit App” for Android and iPhone 2. TriMet.org ’s “Trip Planner” for Desktop 3. “Google Maps” for Desktop, Android, and iPhone

REAL-TIME STOP INFORMATION As TriMet has been able to remodel and build new stops, the integration of TVs that display real-time route information has been a highly used feature for daily riders. For those older or less frequented stops, however, that luxury seems far off. Thankfully there are a few methods to receive accurate information about routes and times through your mobile phone.

1. “Portland Transit” for Android 2. “Transit App” for iPhone and Android 3. TriMet’s “Transit Tracker” ALAN HERNANDEZ-AGUILAR/PSU VANGUARD

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TRANSPORTATION GUIDE

CAR2GO VS. ZIPCAR COBY HUTZLER

ZIPCAR (ZIPCAR.COM): ❱ ❱ WHAT’S IT COST?

Occasional driving memberships start at $60 per year with a one-time $25 signup fee. Costs can run $8 to $10 per hour and $73 per day. Portland State students and faculty can sign up for $15 on Zipcar’s website.

❱ ❱ KINDS OF VEHICLES

Just about everything you can imagine, from sedans and SUVs to pickup trucks and moving vans.

CAR2GO (CAR2GO.COM) ❱ ❱ HOW TO USE

Reserve online or with the mobile app, then unlock it with your membership card and you’re off.

❱ ❱ WHERE DO THEY GO?

Back where you found them.

❱ ❱ PERKS

Free gas, 180 free miles and free insurance for the duration of the rental.

Reservations can be made days, weeks or months in advance. Some even come with free admission to state parks and national forests.

❱ ❱ KEEP IN MIND

Return the car with at least a quarter tank of gas. Return it late and fees start at $50.

You can extend your session on the go, provided that extensions don’t interfere with other reservations.

❱ ❱ SMARTPHONE APP

Free. Lets you locate and reserve cars, as well as lock and unlock the doors or honk the horn of the car you’re using.

❱ ❱ THE QUICK & DIRTY

Better for longer and more varied kinds of trips.

Using a Zipcar is a bit like borrowing a friend’s car.

❱ ❱ WHAT’S IT COST?

$35 one-time signup fee. 38 cents per minute, $13.99 per hour, $72.99 per day. Keep an eye out for promotions that lower or eliminate your registration cost.

❱ ❱ KINDS OF VEHICLES

Gasoline or all-electric Smart Fortwos. These are tiny and seat two occupants, max.

❱ ❱ HOW TO USE

Walk up to it, unlock it with your membership card and take off. Reservations up to 30 minutes in advance are available (at 38 cents per minute, remember) online or via mobile app.

❱ ❱ WHERE DO THEY GO?

Any normal street parking spot within the city’s “home area.”

CAR TROUBLES BREANA HARRIS

WE’VE ALL heard Portland touted as one of the best cities in the U.S. for people who don’t own cars. Last year, Travel and Leisure magazine put Portland on the top of its list of best cities for walking and public transportation. Though TriMet is the source of a lot of negative local issues, as a non-native of this city, I can assure you that the light rail system is well-respected from the outside.

But what’s the difference between a city that makes it easy to choose not to drive and a city that’s impractical, or even downright uninhabitable, for drivers?

As prestigious as Portland’s reputation for public transportation has become, its reputation for bad drivers is being cemented as well. Allstate Insurance company’s ninth annual “America’s Best Drivers” list ranked Portland 154 out of 200 major American cities. According to that list, the average driver in Portland experiences an accident every 7.9 years, which is 27 percent higher than the national average.

Many of you who have been stuck on I-5 in rush hour probably aren’t surprised by this.

What makes our drivers so bad? Is everyone behind the wheel in Portland an inconsiderate moron with road rage, or at least road myopia? Well, there are probably many of those types. But it cannot be ignored that driving in Portland is a complicated and difficult proposition. Portland operates under an urban growth boundary—one of the strictest in the country. That means every proposed expansion can easily become mired in legislation and debate as to whether the bound-

ary should be extended. This is a complex issue, and I’m no expert on urban development, but the question of growing the city to accommodate more residents and jobs has always been carefully considered, if not avoided.

In 1943, freeway consultant Robert Moses put together an 89-page manual of proposed freeway expansions, including the Mt. Hood Freeway and a downtown loop, to prepare Portland for a future of growth. In 1974, the year after the urban growth boundary was established, the city scrapped Moses’ ideas and abandoned freeway projects, pouring federal money into building the transit system instead. Harbor Drive freeway had already been torn down and turned into a park.

That’s all well and good, but unfortunately for Portland, population growth hasn’t been compatible with tight regulations on urban sprawl. More people have moved to Portland in the past 30 years than Chicago, Boston or New York City. Its population growth has outpaced the growth of the U.S. population as a whole. You can see where I’m going with this. In a city where having more roads is frowned upon and where flower beds grow in the place of freeways that existed 50 years ago, an explosion of new residents has been hell on traffic.

What is being done to change things? Here’s a recent example. According to Christian Gaston at The Oregonian, the Oregon Legislature will hold public hearings to address the revived Columbia River Crossing, a projected expansion and modernization of the I-5 bridge connecting Oregon and Washington that was drafted back in 2005. While the original plans for the project were scrapped due to the Washington Senate’s refusal to pay their state’s share, the new project would

❱ ❱ PERKS

Free street parking, free insurance and if you take the time to fill it from below a quarter tank with free gas, you’ll be rewarded with 20 free minutes of driving time.

❱ ❱ KEEP IN MIND

Parking tickets (and processing fees) are ultimately on you. Text messaging abilities are a required part of membership.

❱ ❱ SMARTPHONE APP

Free. Maps the cars’ locations and tells you how much gas or electric charge they have.

❱ ❱ THE QUICK & DIRTY

Incredibly convenient, especially if you use the mobile app to locate cars.

The spontaneous nature comes with an element of risk, however: Unless you pay to keep your trip going, the car might not be waiting for you when you come out of the store.

cost $2.7 billion and be paid for by Oregon alone. The new bridge would be a toll road, which would significantly reduce the number of trips made daily. Where would everyone else go? Over half of drivers polled would take the I-205 instead to avoid a toll, effectively trading one ridiculously congested freeway for another.

The CRC is a direct reaction to the number of commuters from Vancouver, which also speaks to a larger issue. According to the U.S. Census, over 98 percent of Portland transports actually live outside the UGB, which means the number of people driving into the city from the outskirts is staggering.

Since the Portland State campus is right downtown, students who drive to campus have experienced the insane congestion.

And, of course, finding downtown parking is a nightmare.

Neither the city of Portland nor the university itself have any plans to build more structures or increase parking availability. Instead, they focus their efforts on getting more students to choose alternate modes of transportation. PSU wants to make it easier for students to afford public transportation and car-sharing programs. They actually plan to decrease the number of available parking spots in order to force you not to drive.

So there you have it: Portland’s push for public transportation isn’t all about sustainability and green living. The city’s determination to go against the grain when it comes to urban expansion is admirable for many reasons, but it involves some sacrifice. The next time you get frustrated with other drivers on the freeway, remember that Portland’s infrastructure is working against everyone who still chooses to get on the road.

Bad driving is only one small part of the problem.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

21

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ARTS & CULTURE BLOODY BRAIN

DANGIT that’s

SPOOKTACULAR RECIPES! JORDAN MOLNAR

AUTUMN PUMPKIN CAKE

I am going to tell you a story. After you read this story, your life may never be the same; you may find yourself with an altered perspective and your view on reality and what is possible between this world and the next may completely change. There is only one way that this story can begin: canned pumpkin.

Wait, no, hold up. What actually needs to happen is that you need to pre-heat your oven to the approximate temperature to incinerate bone (300 degrees…It’s approximate…Like WAY approximate…Inaccurately approximate…) and mix together your dry ingredients first. Usually for this ritual I would recommend using some manner of grave dirt and maybe the ash of 1,000 corpses. But hey, we’re all on a budget, right? We’re students! So to save a little money you can try flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, nutmeg, salt, cinnamon and cloves. If you like a little extra flavor you can add the hand of a mummy or some chopped walnuts and cranberries to the mix.

So now you’ve got that stuff thrown together. Great job, young necromancers! I knew you could do it. But you’re not done just yet. Remember that other stuff? That’s right, the pumpkin, eggs, oil, orange zest and ectoplasm? Those have to go into the mix as well (add ectoplasm according to taste, or leave it out for a lower calorie/chance of possession cake).

It all has to be whisked together until relatively smooth, then poured into an 8-inch square pan that has been greased and floured. Just regular grease and flour. Don’t make it weird.

Okay, we’re almost done. Your oven is still nice and hot, right?

When you have the mixture poured into your pan and you’ve repeated the appropriate incantation three times (it’s the one in your copy of the Necronomicon…No, NOT THAT ONE! For the love of all things do NOT repeat THAT one!) you are ready to put your cake in the oven. Bake it for 55 minutes, or until you can stick a toothpick in the center and pull it out without your cake screaming or drawing any amount of blood. Let it cool, then serve it to your friends/family/co-workers/people who deserve to be cursed.

You’ve done well, my friends, but this is not over. How can you possibly eat cake without an alcoholic beverage?

I heard a story about this place once. It happened years ago, on a night not unlike this. Only the moon was full and it was in a graveyard, so not this place at all. Actually, the moon was probably at that stage where it looked full but the calendar didn’t say that it was full, so everyone was a little bit confused and questioned their own ability to spot a full moon when they thought they saw one. Regardless of these facts, it was still just like this: spooky. And it all began with a liquor of your choice.

The liquor you pick should be something that you would take shots of. For this reason, I would not recommend using rubbing alcohol or gasoline, or holy water if you are currently possessed from the ectoplasm you put in that cake. Some people use peach schnapps; some use strawberry vodka. I have even heard that some people use that strange bottle of strongsmelling liquid they found in the old chest, the one that has been in the attic for longer than anyone can remember. Really, it doesn’t matter so long as it tastes good with something creamy, because that is your next step.

Bailey’s Irish Cream is a drink normally best served from a shoe. In this case, however, you will be using it to go all Dr. Frankenstein on your drink and put a brain in it. Before you add your Bailey’s, make sure you’ve put lime juice in the liquor you already have. By doing this first you can make sure the creamy Bailey’s will curdle, generally become gross, and end up looking like a brain. You can shape it by adding it a little bit at a time with a straw and making the brain strands yourself.

It’s alive! Just kidding, it’s not alive yet. You have one more step to go. This drink isn’t called a Bloody Brain for nothing, so that is where the dash of grenadine comes in.

How bloody do you like your brain? Try to gauge that and add your grenadine accordingly. The end result should be a pretty spooky-looking drink that you can dare your friends to try or enjoy all by yourself. Don’t go giving this one out to trick-or-treaters, though. That’s probably illegal, and you wouldn’t want to do anything like that.

©PAGES, PUCKS AND PANTRY

INGREDIENTS Bloody Brain | Serves one 1 1/4 ounce of your favorite liquor 1/8 ounce lime juice 3/4 ounce Bailey’s Irish Cream A splash of grenadine

INGREDIENTS Pumpkin Cake | Serves 9 1 cup sugar 1/2 cup brown sugar 2/3 cup flour 1/4 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon cloves 1 cup pumpkin 2 eggs 1/3 cup oil 1/2 cup chopped walnuts 1/2 cup whole cranberries Orange zest to taste CORINNA SCOTT/PSU VANGUARD

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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ARTS & CULTURE

A TOZ BREANA HARRIS

A

American Horror Story: In October 2011, Glee creator Ryan Murphy debuted his unconventional horror anthology series on FX, and to everyone’s slight surprise, it wasn’t half bad. AHS, now in its third season, can lay claim to both rabid fans and serious detractors who are put off by the over-the-top, messy and sometimes even exploitative nature of the storytelling. Still, the show attracts massive talent. And for Coven, the illustrious third chapter of AHS about a coven of young witches that reads like Glee’s demented cousin, the show has added Douglas Petrie to the writing staff. Petrie and fellow AHS writer Tim Minear are familiar veterans of Joss Whedon shows, and they help elevate the material to the next level.

Barker, Clive: If your knowledge of Clive Barker stops at Hellraiser’s Pinhead, you may be pleasantly surprised by his fascinating body of work. The Liverpool-born Barker is a prolific author, once proclaimed by Stephen King to be “the future of horror.” He rose to fame with his wildly original horror story anthologies in the 1980s, including The Hellbound Heart, on which the first Hellraiser film was based. One of his early works, a play entitled History of the Devil, is a gruesome and funny recounting of Satan’s court appeal to get back into heaven. Barker also exhibits his macabre paintings, illustrates his own work and has been authoring and collaborating on comic books since the 1990s.

D

C

©LIONSGATE PHOTO OF CLIVE BARKER ©CREATIVE COMMONS ATTRIBUTION 2.0 GENERIC PHOTO OF STEPHEN KING ©GETTY IMAGES

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Dracula (2013): Can network television really do horror?

Actually, NBC might not be half bad at it, and we’re not just talking about Jeff Zucker (that’s a joke for all you Conan O’Brien fans). The new Dracula finds Prince Vlad arriving in 19th century London.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers has spent his career playing guys who are sexy and disturbing at the same time, so the first and arguably best literary vampire seems a perfect fit for him.

Here’s hoping it doesn’t suck.

OF MODERN HORROR

EVIL DEAD: From the original 1981 film to the 2013 reboot, the Evil Dead franchise has included comic books, video games and even ‘Evil Dead: The Musical.’ It has also cemented Sam Raimi as one of the most notable modern horror masters.

F

Fangoria: In 1979, Ed Naha and Ric Meyers launched Fangoria, now the most famous horror magazine in the world and a leading authority on the industry.

Their website, fangoria.com, is particularly cool. They regularly feature book, movie, game, toy and comic reviews, as well as their own radio drama series, Dreadtime Stories, hosted by Malcolm McDowell. While they took a stab at expanding to film production in 1990 with Fangoria Films, they now deal mostly in distribution, releasing their Frightfest titles with the famous Fangoria logo across the DVD cover.

H

©RENAISSANCE PICTURES

Hemlock Grove: Eli Roth’s horror drama has been the most polarizing of Netflix’s original series, with many critics downright hating it. But the show, based on Brian McGreevy’s novel of the same name, has a lot to recommend. The story of two teenage boys in a small Pennsylvania town—one a vampiric heir and the other a trailer-trash Gypsy werewolf—is kind of like Twilight in hell.

Lyrical, ridiculous and occasionally quite gory, it features what many have called the best werewolf transformation scene of all time. Season 2 airs in 2014.

I

GHOST HUNTERS: The “docu-soap” involving The Atlantic Paranormal Society (TAPS) and their investigations of haunted locations has spawned two spinoff shows and become the Syfy Channel’s longest-running unscripted series.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

©ALAN DAVID MANAGEMENT

©BLUMHOUSE PRODUCTIONS

ARTS & CULTURE

JAPANESE HORROR J

King, Stephen: The master of modern horror famously threw an early draft of his first novel, Carrie, in the trash. Now, 40 years after the book was published, the remake starring Chloe Grace Moretz has been released in theaters. King is at least as relevant now as he’s ever been. In 2013, he published a sequel to The Shining entitled Doctor Sleep. What does it mean for America that one of our most celebrated living authors is known for revolutionizing the horror genre? From Under the Dome to the possibility of a new It remake (please), his stories and his style have become a part of the culture that inspired them.

L

O

Q R

POLTERGEIST: Last month, Sam Rockwell confirmed he was in talks to star in a remake of the 1982 horror classic, which would feature new characters and a different story. The original ‘Poltergeist’ trilogy, while beloved for its terrifying tales of dead souls on the other side of the television, is also mainly remembered for the so-called Poltergeist curse. Dominique Dunne, who played the elder daughter in the first film, was strangled by her boyfriend the same year the film was released. And little Heather O’Rourke, the trilogy’s Carol Anne, was hospitalized with the flu after completing the third film and died from medical complications. Supposedly, many of the other actors experienced strange phenomena during the shooting. The cast of the remake, which also includes Jared Harris and Rosemarie DeWitt, is so far not worried. ©ESTA VIVO! LABORATORIO DE NUEVOS TALENTOS

© METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYER (MGM)

Queer Horror: From lesbian vampire novels like The Gilda Stories to slasher films about gay men like Hellbent, LGBT themes in horror fiction are becoming more prominent than ever.

Road Trips: The Hills Have Eyes and Texas Chainsaw Massacre are a couple classic names, but the first decade of the 21st century was rife with road trip horror movies. Jeepers Creepers, Wrong Turn and Joyride aren’t quality cinema by any stretch of the imagination, but they’re fun guilty pleasures and memorable predecessors to the sub-genre’s more quality offerings like Wind Chill (2007).

Scream: When Wes Craven’s Scream premiered in 1996, nobody had seen anything quite like it, and ever since, audiences have been clamoring for more. Though Scream 4 in 2011 was a decent enough film, it underperformed at the box office, leaving the possibility of another sequel up in the air.

But the franchise has a massive, devoted following and Craven is currently developing a pilot based on the films for MTV. Scream 5’s biggest advocate turns out to be Harvey Weinstein himself. According to horror website Bloody Disgusting, Weinstein has been urging his brother, Bob, who heads Dimension Films, to give the series a big finale.

M

©SCREEN AUSTRALIA

Meta-Horror: The Cabin in the Woods wasn’t the first wittily self-referential horror film ever made, though it could easily be called the best. Way back in 1994, Wes Craven featured himself in Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, where the original Nightmare on Elm Street cast played themselves. And of course, the Scream movies ushered in an age of meta-horror by using characters who understand horror movie rules and conventions. But possibly the craziest example of meta-horror comes from French director Dupieux, who made the 2010 Rubber—the story of a telepathic and murderous car tire. Dupieux’s paved the way for things to get much weirder.

T

True Blood: Now that HBO’s sex- and blood-filled Southern vampire series is coming to an end, where does Alan Ball’s True Blood fall in the modern horror lexicon? Based on Charlaine Harris’ The Southern Vampire Mysteries book series, the seventh and final season is set to premiere next summer.

Longtime fans of the show won’t deny the fact that Sookie Stackhouse’s adventures in the supernatural world of Bon Temps, LA. have turned into something of a hot mess.

But True Blood boasts a long list of iconic moments of inspired storytelling, many of which involve Alexander Skarsgard as Eric Northman. When you consider that Northman may be one of modern fiction’s most memorable vampires, it’s no wonder Skarsgard became so famous from playing him.

Netflix streaming is a virtual treasure trove of undiscovered horror films, from the deeply terrible to the surprisingly awesome. For every offering that seems like torture-porn-lite filmed in a Van Nuys basement, there’s an unexpected foreign or obscure title you’ll end up loving. ©NETFLIX

URBAN LEGENDS: The 1998 film series is slightly less cool than actual urban legends.

V

© TRI STAR PICTURES

The Vampire Chronicles: Long after Dracula but long before Eric Northman, there was the vampire Lestat. Anne Rice wrote Interview with a Vampire in 1976. She followed it up with nine other books concerning the principle and secondary characters in her vampire world, with the 10th and supposedly last being Blood Canticle in 2003. She might be a bit kooky, but Rice is an eloquent and talented writer, and her New Orleans-centered tales have reshaped the vampire genre for a new generation.

W

The Walking Dead: They’re at the farm. They’re still at the farm. Now they’re at the prison. They’re still at the prison. What is up with this show?

AMC’s The Walking Dead is in its fourth season, but the Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore-created comic books of the same name are also still going strong.

XENOMORPHS: ‘Nuff said.

YOUNG ADULT HORROR Y

©20TH CENTURY FOX

Z

Zombies: You’ll hear all kinds of theories about the popularity of zombies in a recession age, but the fact remains that the undead are everywhere. They might be funny like in Zombieland or Warm Bodies, lightning fast like in 28 Days Later or World War Z, or simply rotting and hungry like in every zombie film since Night of the Living Dead. It’s the age of zombie apocalypse jokes. People are eating faces in Florida. Someone tried to bite Michael Bay on the Transformers 4 set in Hong Kong. It’s a fun time.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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ETC FEATURED EVENT Dia De Los Muertos 5:30 p.m.

Crystal Ballroom 1332 W. Burnside St. Portland, OR 97209

©McMENAMINS

Come to the Crystal on Nov. 1 for a post-Halloween celebration that honors the dead. The party will feature live music by the Tiburones, a wild new musical project joining the sometimes-unhinged vocals of Y La Bamba’s Luz Elena Mendoza with the fiery intensity of Nick Delffs of Shaky Hands and Death Songs. Before heading over to enjoy some music, paint your face in traditional style and walk with a procession from the South Park Blocks between Clay and Park Avenues to the ballroom. This event is $12 at the door and $10 in advance. Kids 12 and under are free. For more information visit www.crystalballroompdx.com.

EVENT CALENDAR Tuesday, Oct. 29 All Majors Career Fair 11 a.m.–3 p.m.

Smith Memorial Student Union, room 355 1825 S.W. Broadway Portland, OR 97201 At the All Majors Career Fair, students and alumni will have an opportunity to meet representatives from over 75 organizations, including many different employers, from the government, private industries to nonprofit organizations, who will provide attendees with information about career and internship opportunities. FREE

A Queer Feeling for Plato 12:30 p.m.

Neuberger Hall, room 407 724 S.W. Harrison St. Portland, OR 97201 Professor Emanuela Bianchi of New York University’s department of comparative literature will be at Portland State to talk about her forthcoming book, The Feminine Symptom: Aleatory Matter in the Aristotelian Cosmos, which explores how Aristotle’s ideas about sex and gender in his biological writings infuse his physics, metaphysics and cosmology, and argues that the traditional understanding of the female as allied

26

with passive matter is inadequate and should be supplanted by an understanding of the feminine as symptomatic, representing chance and what disrupts the teleological system. FREE

Wednesday, Oct. 30 Portland State’s Amazing Race 4:30–7 p.m.

Academic and Student Rec Center 1800 S.W. 6th Ave. Portland, OR 97201 This race through the Rec Center will take you and a teammate on a quest for clues that will lead you to to various challenges. But beware: Each challenge has a unique twist designed to throw teams off and make for a truly thrilling race. Compete for prizes against your peers and prove yourself as a true competitor. Entry fee is $5 for Rec Center members and $10 for non-members.

Twelfth Night of the Living Dead 7:30 p.m.

The Venetian Theatre 253 E. Main St. Hillsboro, OR 97123 The Twelfth Night of the Living Dead is a retelling of a Shakespeare classic with a significant twist: zombies. This play has been a hit in New

York and Los Angeles over the past 10 years, and now is your chance to see it in Portland, right before Halloween.

This show is open to all ages and tickets range from $15 to $24. They can be purchased at www.bagnbaggage.org or by calling the box office at 503-345-9590.

Thursday, Oct. 31 Halloween at Kennedy School 4:30 p.m.

McMennamins Kennedy School 5736 N.E. 33rd Ave. Portland, OR 97211 You are invited to Kennedy School for a free, all-ages Halloween Bash that starts in the afternoon and runs through the night. But look out, this location is said to be haunted. The events schedule features: 4:30-6:30 p.m.: Trick or Treating 4:30 p.m.: Willamette Radio Workshop: War of the Worlds 5:00 p.m.: Whiskey Widow Porter Release 5:30 p.m.: Young Frankenstein (PG) 6:00 p.m.: Willamette Radio Workshop: War of the Worlds 7:30 p.m.: Freak Mountain Ramblers 7:30 p.m.: Evil Dead II (R) – 21 & over

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

9:35 p.m.: Dead Alive (R) – 21 & over

Zombie Dodgeball

what to expect around the next corner, and though it can be a bit pricey at $20 for admission, the ratings seem to suggest that the attraction is well worth the money.

7 p.m.

Crystal Ballroom 1332 W. Burnside St. Portland, OR 97209

6–8 p.m.

Academic and Student Rec Center 1800 S.W. 6th Ave. Portland, OR 97201

Saturday, Nov. 2

Spend your Halloween at the Crystal Ballroom with live music, dancing and fantastic food. Be sure to where a costume for your chance to win some excellent prizes. This event is for those who are over 21 only. Cover is $20 at the door and $15 in advance. For more information, visit www. crystalballroompdx.com. 21+

Start your Halloween right by grabbing two friends and competing in Zombie Dodgeball at Mac Court, in the Campus Rec Center. Be sure to put on your zombie best, because not only will prizes be given out for tournament winners, there will also be prizes from particularly scary costumes. Single players will be matched up to create teams so everyone can participate, and all students are invited. For more information about the tournament, contact im@pdx.edu. FREE

FREE

Zombie Ball! Halloween at the Crystal Ballroom

Small Arms’ Second Annual All Ages Halloween Hoot and Costume Party 8:30 p.m.

Slabtown 1033 N.W. 16th Ave. Portland, OR 97209 Put on your costume and come to Slabtown for a party that features your favorite local bands covering their own favorite bands. The event will include The Good Sons playing Joy Division, Sorta Ultra channeling Buddy Holly and the Crickets, and The Small Arms’ interpretation of Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers. There will

also be a costume contest.

Cover is $5 at the door or $2 with costume. All ages are welcome.

Friday, Nov. 1 Fright Town 2013 7–11 p.m.

Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum 1401 N. Wheeler Ave. Portland, OR 97227 Not ready for Halloween to be over? Head to Portland’s Fright Town to get your fix of freaky fun! Fright Town consists of three large haunted houses that span an entire city block. You never know

Coffee Fair 10 a.m.–3 p.m.

Worlf Forestry Center 4033 S.W. Canyon Rd. Portland, OR 97221 A special sampling of world-class coffee is just a MAX trip or short drive away at the World Forestry Center this weekend. Join fellow coffee enthusiasts this Saturday and Sunday for an event where you can learn where your coffee comes from and how it is produced. Visitors can expect a total immersion in Northwest coffee culture through savoring and sipping coffees from around the globe provided by a variety of Pacific Northwest premier roasters and coffee-related vendors.

Admission is $5 and all ages are welcome.

FREE

21+

PSU FREE OPEN TO PUBLIC 21 & OVER

ETC

can try your best to escape, but you can only delay the inevitable. Beware the man in yellow.

Actually, if you notice him, it’s probably too late. Can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Scorpio Oct. 23–Nov. 21

Someone shadier than you (shocking considering you’re a Scorpio) will seek your company for a brisk evening walk this week‌a long walk down a short pier, that is. If I was you, I’d brush up on my doggie paddle and wear some layers. If you don’t, you might end up sleeping with the fishes. Permanently.

Aquarius Jan. 20–Feb. 18

Someone is trying to get your attention right now.

This person is after your heart. No, I mean this person is literally after your heart. It would go great in a stew or with a side of fava beans.

Capricorn Dec. 22–Jan. 19

Here’s the thing, Capricorn, I’m not here to beat around the bush. Truth is, you’re a goner this week.

And it’s not going to be pretty. No, no. Don’t try to fight it. You’re dead, okay?

Stop whining and just go with it. Hell can’t be that terrible, right?

Sagittarius Nov. 22–Dec. 21

Your harbinger of death awaits you. You

Pisces Feb. 19–Mar. 20

You’ll have a chance encounter this week with a tall, dark and handsome stranger. Turns out he’s a serial killer. Tough break!

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Aries Mar. 21–Apr. 19

By the time you read this, it’s too late. No! Don’t look behind you. Run! Turn left! Now right. No, the other right! Oooh‌

Taurus Apr. 20–May 20

R.I.P. Taurus. You were a good friend and an okay student. It’s such a shame things had to end so violently.

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This might sound weird, but best not to look under your bed any time soon. Or, you know, sleep there.

Open the book and repeat the words. Speak them loud to your Outer God: “ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.�

Leo Jul. 23–Aug. 22

Libra Sept. 23–Oct. 22

Cancer Jun. 21–Jul. 22

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

27

SPORTS SCORES

UPCOMING

MLS

MLS PLAYOFFS

PORTLAND CHIVAS USA

Top Performers: Diego Vaeri, 2 goals and 1 assist.

0 PORTLAND @ (COL vs. SEA) 5 SAT. 11/2 7:00 p.m. | NBC SPORTS WHL

BRANDON vs. PORTLAND WED. 10/30 7:00 p.m.

WHL

PORTLAND SPOKANE

Top Performers: Taylor Leier, 2 goals.

4 NBA 3 PORTLAND @ PHOENIX WED. 10/30 7:00 p.m. | NBC PSU FOOTBALL

NBA

PORTLAND GOLDEN STATE

Top Performers: Damian Lillard, 21 points

90 WEBER STATE vs. PSU SAT. 11/2 1:05 p.m.

74 PSU MEN’S BASKETBALL

N.W. CHRISTIAN vs. PSU

PSU FOOTBALL

NORTH DAKOTA PSU

Top Performers: David Edgerson, 2 INT

10 14

Top Performers: Cori Bianchini, 1 goal

PSU WOMEN’S BASKETBALL

SIMON FRASER vs. PSU FRI. 11/1 6:00 p.m.

PSU WOMEN’S SOCCER

PSU SACRAMENTO STATE

FRI. 11/1 8:15 p.m.

PSU CROSS COUNTRY

1 BIG SKY CHAMPIONSHIP 0 SAT. 11/2 10:00 a.m.

PSU VOLLEYBALL

PSU @ MONTANA STATE

PSU VOLLEYBALL

PSU SACRAMENTO STATE Top Performers Kaeli Patton, 17 kills

1 3

FRI. 11/1 6:00 p.m.

PSU WOMEN’S TENNIS

BULLDOG CLASSIC FRI. 11/1–SUN. 11/3 | FRESNO, CA

CHARLES “CHIP” DUNN’S SPOT ON THE BIG SKY’S ALL-TIME LIST. DUNN PLAYED FOR PSU FROM 1997-2000 AND STILL HOLDS SCHOOL RUSHING RECORDS. 28

DAMIAN LILLARD was named NBA Rookie of the Year in 2013. ©FLICKR USER NIKK_LA

WHERE YOU AT, RIP CITY?

BLAZERS BENCH IS THE KEY TO UPCOMING SEASON ALEX MOORE

With baseball still dragging on, the NBA season still seems like it is months away, but much like every year, it is sneaking up on us. Ladies and gentlemen, Blazers basketball is just under a week away. Even though many fans claim the beginning of the NBA season is nothing but meaningless games and air balls, there is still a lot of excitement about the potential of the new Blazers lineup.

And by lineup, I of course mean bench, which has been completely revamped this season. Hallelujah, Blazer fans, we never have to hear the words “here comes Luke Babbitt off the bench” again.

Those days are over. Now the Blazers have one of the better benches in recent memory, with sixth man Mo Williams leading the way.

Williams is best known for his time with current Miami Heat forward LeBron James when the two were in Cleveland. Williams was an All-Star in 2009 and has traveled from team to team since then. The guard will fill a key role this season by providing scoring off the bench.

Williams is a prolific shooter and will play a role similar

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

to what Jamal Crawford was supposed to two years ago.

Williams is joined on the bench by forwards Dorell Wright and Thomas Robinson. The Blazers also drafted guard CJ McCollum, but the rookie broke his foot during training camp and is expected to miss at least six weeks after receiving non-surgical treatment. Both second-year player Will Barton and rookie Allen Crabbe are expected to step in and play minutes in McCollum’s place.

Last year, after an exciting start to the season, the Blazers couldn’t keep up their momentum and failed to make the playoffs. This season, Portland hopes this new bench will propel them into the top eight of a very tough Western Conference.

For the Blazers to make the postseason, it is going to take a lot more than stellar bench play.

Guard Damian Lillard is going to have to improve even after being Rookie of the Year last season. The second-year player has hopes of becoming an All-Star, but he’s going to have to have All-Star numbers—where Lillard goes, the Blazers go. Portland fans know LaMarcus Aldridge can bring it every night and will put up pretty consistent num-

bers, but the Blazers need to see that extra step. Higher assists. Lower turnovers. Better shots. Yeah, he was great last year, but Brandon Roy did not plateau after his rookie season, and no one should expect Lillard to. This franchise will only go as far this year as he is able to carry it.

If Lillard makes the next step, the question becomes whether or not Blazers general manager Neil Olshey gathered enough support talent through free agency and trades over the summer.

Olshey was one of the busiest GM’s this offseason, and he picked players who aren’t quite marquee free agents but are a bit better than chalupa hero Luke Babbitt.

The bottom line is Blazer fans should be excited. There are a few different ways to feel about this season’s team, with some people think playoffs while others are thinking lottery. I know next year’s draft is loaded, but I don’t really care. I want this team to have a chance. I want some exciting basketball that Rip City can enjoy. Another trip to the lottery would be boring, and Portland probably wouldn’t have a top-10 pick in any case.

This team has a chance to make the playoffs because

last year’s team had a chance.

And the worst part of last year’s team is the most improved part of this squad—the bench. The Blazers won’t win 60 games, probably not even 50, but look at what Golden State did last season. All they have to do is get into the crazy Western Conference playoff picture, and it could go anywhere from there.

Playoffs are quite a way down the road, and to get there the Blazers will have to stay healthy. Another huge priority is to assert their dominance at home.

No team should expect to win when they come to Portland. If the Blazers can do that while winning about half of their games on the road, they will put themselves in a good position.

So Portland, I leave you with this. This could be an exciting year, which we have not had in a while. Enjoy it.

Expect something from this team, because they can deliver. This roster can play.

Many of them have proven that, whether in Portland or on their last team. Let’s just hope LaMarcus rolls to the basket every once in a while, Nicolas Batum does more than just spot-up shooting,and Robin Lopez is as awesome as his hair.

SPORTS

VIKINGS SCORE HOMECOMING VICTORY FOURTH-QUARTER

PSU QUARTERBACK Kieran McDonagh rushes down the field with the ball.

SPECIAL TEAMS PLAY PROVIDES SCORING CHANCES KAYLA TATUM

The Portland State football team took care of business at the inaugural Turkey Bowl on Saturday, defeating North Dakota 14–10 at Jeld-Wen field.

The Vikings (4–4 overall, 1–3 conference) brought their three-game losing streak to an end against North Dakota (2–6 overall, 1–4 conference.)

In the first half of the game the Vikings struggled to score and fell behind by 10, but they managed to make big plays in the second half, ultimately scoring 14 points in the fourth quarter. When asked if he was surprised at the turnaround, head coach Nigel Burton said, “No, not at all. I think in the end we did what we needed to do for the win, and I think good teams do that.”

What did the head coach say during halftime to motivate his players to score? “All I really told them was to do what we asked them to do. They didn’t need to do anything different from what they’ve practiced and what we’ve coached, and if they did those things then we’d be successful, and that’s what happened,” Burton said.

Although the Vikings were losing 0–10 in the first half of the game, things began to change for the better when senior safety Michael Plummer

blocked a punt. Following the game Plummer commented on that play, saying “[Special teams coordinator] Coach Malloe called a block for our side and it was actually made by [running back] Justin Liley.

He was on the inside of me, he went through the A-gap, I went B and he crashed down their shield, so I had a short edge and just went and got it.

We both just got off the ball and did what we had to do.”

Plummer added, “I was just excited that he [the coach] even called the call that he did to get the punt block, because sometimes we’ll just go for a return, and we went for the block. I knew we had to do something. It was [the] fourth quarter and it was kind of slow on both sides of the ball. Defense was doing great, but as a special teams unit we knew we had to do something, so we finally did it.”

After that play, the North Dakota team struggled to get back in control of the game.

Vikings senior quarterback Collin Ramirez, who came on in the fourth quarter to lead the team’s two short touchdown drives, commented about the game-changing play made by the Vikings special teams: “I think it was big. I

JOSÉ-DAVID JACOB/PSU VANGUARD

think it lit everybody up. It gave us what we needed: to be on our side of the 50 and to get that touchdown. So it was really important.”

When asked about his fellow teammate Plummer and what he brings to the team, Ramirez said, “He is just incredible. I’m so happy that he was the guy that got to make that play. Plummer gives 100 percent and when his number is called he is [determined] to make a play.”

With 10:45 left in the fourth quarter, senior running back DJ Adams made a four-yard dash into the end zone, which got the Vikings back in the game at 7–10. North Dakota’s punting unit made their sec-

ond big mistake of the day when freshman punter Mitch Meindel dropped the ball, retrieved it and scrambled out of bounds. Adams ran 15 yards, scoring the touchdown that gave the Vikings the lead 14–10.

After their victory celebration in the locker room, Adams commented on the win, “Both [touchdowns] were made off of great special teams plays and that added to the momentum of our offense. It allowed us to catch [North Dakota] off-guard in both times, and we got to the edge before they realized what was going on.”

Adams added, “Towards the end of the third quarter and going into the fourth quarter, things started

working. We were able to run the ball a little bit more and a little bit more efficiently, and things just started working. Once we could run the ball and once we could get a balance it just worked out.”

The game against North Dakota was the Vikings’ first home game since their 34–38 loss against Cal Poly last month. The Vikings are building momentum going into the next two home games against Weber State (Nov. 2) and Sacramento State (Nov. 16). When asked about what improvements he thinks his team needs to make before heading to play against Weber State,

Burton said, “I think we need to start faster than what we did, make sure we are doing things to get [the other team] out of our way a little bit and just keep getting better.”

The number of people in attendance for PSU’s first Turkey Bowl was 5,120 Portland State Athletics and KPTV sponsored the event, and any adult who purchased a ticket ($19 general admission and up) received a free turkey.

The next regular season game for PSU is set for Saturday, Nov. 2, at Jeld-Wen Field, when the Vikings wil host Weber State (1–7 overall, 0–4 conference).

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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SPORTS TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN Dear Oregon, Are we a football state now? The Ducks have dominated the college football world for the last few years.

The Beavers are amid a very successful 6-2 season and just recently, the Moda Center signed a deal with an arena football team.

The list does not end there. The Seahawks—the closest geographical thing Oregon has to an NFL franchise—are a popular Super Bowl pick and have only lost one game this season. Most impressively, in the college ranks, Heisman-hopeful quarterbacks Marcus Mariota and Sean Mannion represent the Ducks and Beavers, respectively.

Mannion is leading the nation in passing yards and touchdowns, while Mariota is near the top of every statistical category as the leader of Oregon’s high-powered offense.

So Oregonians, are we a football state? I want to say the answer is no, but with all this success coming from local football teams, how could one argue that we are not? But even with the Ducks’ domination and the Beavers having a football team that wins sometimes, I personally don’t like the term “football state” being applied to Oregon.

“Football states” leave something to be desired, and usually that is anything else desirable within a state. Many states that are all about football don’t really have anything else to be proud of, and as Oregonians, we should feel the exact opposite. We have one of the most beautiful states in the country. Even in the sports world, we have two of the best fanbases in the country for basketball and soccer.

I could go on about how much more we have in Oregon than football, and that is precisely why we are not a football state, no matter how successful that green and yellow team is. If you want to define Oregon by sports culture, you would have to define them by the fanbases.

Ultimately, we are a state with some of the strongest fanbases in the country. Rip City and the Timbers Army make Portland one of the hardest cities for a visiting team to come in and steal a win from. Autzen Stadium is famous for being one of the noisiest stadiums in college football. Even the Seahawks up north are well known for their 12th man.

Success does not define Oregon as a sports state, but one thing that does put Oregon on top of the sports world is that we have fans that will not back down. Fans that will not accept mediocrity from the players or the staff.

It is not a coincidence that all the biggest sports franchises in Oregon are known for having a sizable home field advantage. In fact, it defines our sports atmosphere. We love all of our sports, and we are proud of them whether they are winning or losing. Oregon is not a football state, basketball state or soccer state; Oregon is a fan state. Every fan will proudly scream their head off for their team, no matter what the situation. Like the athletes who play in Oregon, people in Oregon represent their state proudly.

Sincerely, Alex Moore

Timbers close out regular season in dominant fashion MATT DEEMS

The Portland Timbers (14–515, 57 points) have clinched the No. 1 seed in the MLS Western Conference Playoffs after winning their final regular season match against Chivas USA. The Timbers went up early and often in the 5–0 rout Saturday at StubHub Center in Los Angles as they ramped up for the MLS Cup. The Timbers lineup was largely intact, with the usual back seven (Diego Valeri, Will Johnson, Diego Chara, Michael Harrington, Pa Kah, Mamadou “Futty” Danso and Jack Jewsbury) all fully healed and ready for the playoff push. The frontline, on the other hand, was a rotating group, but dangerous nonetheless.

The Timbers star center back was the first to strike Saturday. In the 15th minute, Jose Valencia attacked the left side of the Chivas box, but his attempt was deflected away. The rebound bounced to Valeri, who easily scored on distracted Chivas keeper Tim Melia.

Just 13 short minutes later, Valeri showed why he is the

highest-paid Timbers player.

He drove down the field, blew past multiple defenders and hit a chip shot goal from the top of the Chivas box to put the Timbers ahead 2-0.

“That chip was world class.

No doubt about it,” head coach Caleb Porter told The Oregonian. “He’s special.“ As if the match could get any worse for Chivas USA or any better for Valeri, the Timbers hit pay dirt again in the 33rd minute. Futty hit a perfect deep ball to the running Valeri, who lost one defender with fancy footwork, then hit a cross between the legs of another defender. The cross was met by Rodney Wallace, who volleyed the ball in. Timbers then stood 3–0 with Valeri’s two goals and one assist in just 45 spectacular minutes of play.

“I’ve been lucky to have the opportunities to score,” Valeri said. “I think the most important thing is to be productive and be practical for the team.“ Despite a blowout first half, Chivas USA was able to play some defense, holding Portland out-of-goal for

nearly 25 minutes in the second half. In the 71st minute, the Timbers’ Rodney Wallace took a nice blast on goal, but Melia was there for the save. The save was not reeled in, though, and Ryan Johnson made Melia pay as he booted the Timbers’ fourth goal of the night.

Sadly for the last-place Chivas punching bag, Timbers captain W. Johnson did not want to go home emptyhanded. Johnson lined up for a free kick at the top of the Chivas box in the 75th minute. Johnson and company deployed the set piece perfectly as the Timbers’ “wall” disappeared and Johnson sent a flaming shot into the back of the net, Timbers 5–0.

Well, Timbers fans, we did it. It happened. With the win, the Timbers are No. 1 in the MLS Western Conference and now await the winner of the knockout round (Seattle Sounders vs. Colorado Rapids) in the MLS Western Conference Semifinals. The Timbers will be on the road for the semifinal bout, 11/2 at 7:00 p.m., broadcast on NBC Sports Network.

Diego Valeri lead the Timbers with two goals and one assist.

CALLING ALL SPORTS ENTHUSIASTS THE VANGUARD IS LOOKING FOR Sports Writers Apply @ psuvanguard.com MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

SPORTS

50 YEARS OF BIG SKY SPORTS

Top athletes in conference history to be honored TOBIN SHIELDS

Portland State has been a member of the Big Sky Conference for over 21 years and has provided strong competition for the other 13 schools within the league.

Although PSU students might be familiar with the school’s sports program, very often the league itself is considered unimportant.

However, earlier this month the Big Sky announced something both exciting and worth talking about.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of Big Sky men’s sports and the 25th year for women’s. Traditionally, when a sports league celebrates this kind of milestone they might fly in all the coaches

for a large party or give out various “person of the year” awards, but the Big Sky wanted to do something different.

On Oct. 3 they announced on their website that that in light of the league’s anniversary, they will be honoring the “50 Greatest Male Athletes” and the “25 Greatest Female Athletes” in the conference’s history. Along with these lists, the league will highlight some memorable moments from both men’s and women’s competition.

Jon Kasper, assistant commissioner of the Big Sky Conference, said this project was started over a year ago.

“We came up with ballots to try and find out who we want-

ed to be included,” Kasper said. He wanted to make sure that every school was represented. “We recruited a wide variety of people for the voting pool… coaches, administrators, and Big Sky faculty. We wanted people who had a lot of knowledge in their sport,” he added.

After several rounds of voting and some modifications to the criteria, the Big Sky finally ranked their top players. Even though they rated them 1–50, during his interview, Kasper wanted to make abundantly clear that making this list was an extraordinary achievement. “It didn’t matter whether you were 50th or 15th,” he said.

When asked if the league was going to try to do any kind of advertising or fundraising to coincide with this event, Kasper said, “We are not in it to make money, so

no, there will be no fundraisers. This event is being paid for by the members of the league, and they are more than happy to do so.

Our hope is that every player that made the top 50 list is going to receive a plaque, and we are encouraging each school to bring back those players to honor them.”

Kasper has been working with the various schools to make this happen.

The Big Sky is honoring each player with a substantial online profile, including a personal history and the story of how they arrived at their respective college, as well as highlights from throughout their athletic career.

“I loved tracking every player down and really hearing what stories they could tell me,” Kasper said.

Through social media websites like Facebook, LinkedIn,

COURTESY OF BIG SKY CONFERENCE

and Twitter, Kasper said it was fairly easy for his staff to track down each player. “Our goal was to find everyone…even those who were across seas.”

There are hundreds of amazing players that Kasper and his team had to sort through, but he is absolutely sure that some of the accomplishments that occurred

within the league will surprise people.

Kasper and his team are only revealing portions of the list at a time. Recently unveiled was the men’s list from 50-35 and the women’s from 25-22. So far it looks good for PSU—the highest rated male athlete so far is Viking football great Charles Dunn.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 29, 2013 | psuvanguard.com

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