Portland State Vanguard

VOLUME 68 | ISSUE 35 | MAY 20, 2014

NEWS

OPINION

ARTS & CULTURE

SPORTS

PSU Institute for Sustainable Solutions and Neighbors for Clean Air host screening of A Fierce Green Fire. pg. 5

Are today’s police too militarized?

Arming CPSO officers could make them part of the problem. pg. 8

Need some noodle in your life? Head down to Boxer Ramen for some of the best ramen in town. pg. 25

Former Santa Clara University head coach Jennifer Mountain joins PSU women’s basketball coaching staff. pg. 31

CONTENT NEWS OPINION OUTDOOR GUIDE ARTS & CULTURE CALENDAR SPORTS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

4 7 10 24 27 29 COPY EDITORS

EDITOR@PSUVANGUARD.COM Whitney Beyer

Sabrina Parys Margo Pecha

MANAGING EDITOR

ADVERTISING MANAGER

MANAGINGEDITOR@PSUVANGUARD.COM Jordan Molnar

JGEKELER@PDX.EDU Jordan Gekeler

NEWS EDITOR

ADVERTISING DESIGNER

NEWS@PSUVANGUARD.COM Coby Hutzler

Michelle Leigh

ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR

Reaz Mahmood

ARTS@PSUVANGUARD.COM Turner Lobey

OPINION EDITOR

ADVISER

ADVERTISING ADVISER Ann Roman

OPINION@PSUVANGUARD.COM Breana Harris

SPECIAL SECTION ART DIRECTION

SPORTS EDITOR

DESIGNERS

SPORTS@PSUVANGUARD.COM Jesse Tomaino

ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR ASSOCIATENEWS@PSUVANGUARD.COM Ashley Rask

PRODUCTION MANAGER PRODUCTION@PSUVANGUARD.COM Sean Bucknam

PHOTO EDITORS PHOTO@PSUVANGUARD.COM Miles Sanguinetti Corinna Scott

COPY CHIEF COPY@PSUVANGUARD.COM Chelsea Lobey

ONLINE EDITOR ONLINE@PSUVANGUARD.COM Jaime Dunkle

Sean Bucknam

Alan Hernandez-Aguilar, Rachael Bentz, Brendan Mulligan, Christopher Peralta

WRITERS

Brie Barbee, Mike Bivins, Ryan Delaureal, Andrew Echeverria, Patricia Grant, Hannah Griffith, Joel Gunderson, Adam LaMascus, Colleen Leary, Alex Moore, Jay Pengelly, Matt Rauch, Jeoffry Ray, Sebastian Richardson, Tobin Shields, Brandon Staley, Derek Sun, Stephanie Tshappat, Adam Wunische

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Alex Hernandez, Shaylee King, Valarie Kittle, Jeoffry Ray, Christopher Sohler

ADVERTISING SALES

Robin Crowell, Muhsinah Jaddoo, Casey Jin, Vivian Vo

The Vanguard is published weekly as an independent student newspaper governed by the PSU Publications Board. Views and editorial content expressed herein are those of the staff, contributors and readers and do not necessarily represent those of the PSU student body, faculty, staff or administration. One copy of the Vanguard is provided free of charge to all community members; additional copies or subscription issues may incur a 25 cent charge.

The Vanguard is printed on 40 percent post-consumer recycled paper.

Cover: Designed by Sean Bucknam ©2014 PORTLAND STATE UNIVERSITY VANGUARD 1825 S.W. BROADWAY SMITH MEMORIAL STUDENT UNION, RM. S-26 PORTLAND, OR 97201

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

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NEWS

ASPSU debates end with town hall Colleen Leary

Following the heated Student Fee Committee debate last Tuesday, candidates for the Associated Students of Portland State University senate participated in a town hall debate on Thursday.

The debate featured 13 of the 20 students running for the ASPSU senate. Students will vote to elect 15 senators in the election, which closes May 23.

Candidate representation was largely dominated by the Students for a Better Tomorrow, Today platform. One of the three senator candidates from Community Rising was in attendance.

The slate not represented at the senate debate was Take Back PSU!, whose senatorial candidate is Bobby Zaman.

Also present was independent candidate Nathan Claus. Claus is running on his own platform, Your Senator, Your Advocate.

Senate candidates fielded questions from students, as well as the Student Media panel, which has served at all three ASPSU debates. Candidates discussed issues regarding the function of the student senate, ASPSU constitutional changes, PSU’s new Board of Trustees, online classes, identity politics and campus safety.

SFC candidate Romain Bonilla asked candidates to address campus safety and the proposed arming of Campus Public Safety officers. All of the candidates who spoke on this issue openly opposed the deputization of CPSO officers.

“Every day here I talk to so many students who are concerned about their safety on campus,” said Students for a Better Tomorrow, Today candidate Greta Gibbens. “My first week [at PSU], my freshman inquiry mentor told me the buildings I shouldn’t go into,

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so I wouldn’t get raped,” she said. “This is an issue. I don’t think having more armed people on campus is a solution— especially when CPSO is still something so many people on campus here fear.”

“I am of the opinion that increasing the amount of guns found on campus only increases the amount of bullets to find people,” added Students for a Better Tomorrow, Today candidate Galen Russell.

Students for a Better Tomorrow, Today candidate Saad Alnuwaif echoed the points made by others and added, “I think we do need better lighting. We need more officers, we need more security…I think most people on campus don’t feel safe.”

Panelist Whitney Beyer, editor-in-chief of the Vanguard, asked students to describe what they see as the senate’s most important function.

“In my opinion, the government serves to improve the quality of life for its citizens,” said Students for a Better Tomorrow, Today candidate Gregory Elkins. “Student government is no different…

Their entire role is to improve the academic quality of the school, the life on campus [and] the culture the school has,” he said. “Really, nothing else matters because those students are the ones providing student fee money to us.”

Students for a Better Tomorrow, Today candidate Patrick Vroman echoed Elkins and added, “One important function is to encourage students to be civically engaged.”

Candidates responded to a question posed to address the new PSU Board of Trustees and its perceived threat to shared governance. Many candidates expressed a lack of knowledge about the Board of Trustees.

“I actually am not as educated on this as I would like to be,” said Students for a Better Tomorrow, Today candidate Melinda Joy. “We need more advertisement for student senate; more advertisement for student forums when there is going to be any sort of student involvement with the administration, so students can have that voice.”

“When we were campaigning to get people registered to vote in classes…one of the things I emphasized was that we are gaining a Board of Trustees—and making sure the students realize that now Wiewel has a Board of Trustees as his boss. There’s a student on that board,” Russell said. “I believe education and close communications are key to ensuring the Board of Trustees is a benefit, not a detriment.”

Candidates responded to a question from Student Media panelist Theo Burke of KPSU about the increase in online classes. They were asked to comment on the place for online learning in education.

“Personally, I am not a fan of online classes,” said Students for a Better Tomorrow, Today candidate Jefferson Wiley. “I definitely prefer the inclass experience, but if it’s something certain types of students are going to be attracted to, they should be able to pursue that.”

“I would say one of the university’s main jobs is to help teach students in the way they are comfortable learning,” said Claus. “Many students are more comfortable working at home alone.

I personally believe, when it comes to online courses, we should continue to offer online, in-person and hybrid classes.”

Burke asked the candidates, “Do you feel…too much attention is being paid to identity politics at ASPSU these days, and why?” Burke followed up the question by pointing out that many candidates are running on platforms that emphasize the desire to promote underrepresented student populations.

“Cultural competency is one of the most important things we have looked at in a long time,” said Community Rising candidate Luis Perez.

“I have talked to people who say that teachers don’t care enough about where they come from.” Perez said that

no two people are alike, adding that “this needs to be taken into account by all staff.”

“To be honest, we could do a better job at diversifying,” said Students for a Better Tomorrow, Today candidate Andrew Von Tersch.

“We have people from everywhere, but I don’t think we’re all as connected as we really should be and can be.”

Voting for ASPSU student government opened May 16 and closes May 23 at 7 p.m.

Students enrolled in one or more credits during spring term are eligible to vote for ASPSU candidates. Students can vote by visiting elections.aspsu.pdx.edu. For coverage of the SFC debate on Tuesday, May 13, visit psuvanguard.com.

ArOUND 30 People attended the debate on Thursday.

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

‘A Fierce Green Fire’ screens at PSU Jay Pengelly

The Portland State Institute for Sustainable Solutions partnered with Neighbors for Clean Air to host a screening of the film A Fierce Green Fire on May 15, which details the history of environmental movements around the world. Current executive director of the City Club of Portland and former Mayor Sam Adams was on hand to host a Q&A with one of the film’s featured activists, Lois Gibbs. “[We] have an environmental hero with us today to inspire us, to take it to a whole new level because we haven’t even begun to scratch our potential,” Adams said before the discussion began.

ISS Communications Director Christina Williams believes that Gibbs is a role model for a new generation of people who care about the environment.

“Lois Gibbs is one of the early forebearers of the environmental health movement, and so I think it’s important for students who have benefited from a lot of what she’s done to hear from her firsthand about her struggles,” Williams said.

Gibbs’ efforts began in 1976 in Love Canal, a neighborhood of Niagara Falls, New York. The area where she lived had been built atop 21,000 tons of toxic chemicals stored underground.

The resulting pollution soon led to disease among the infants and children of the neighborhood.

A study by locals determined that 56 percent of children born had birth defects. This study and the general outcry was led by Gibbs, whose own two children had become ill.

The government sent officials from the Environmental Protection Agency to conduct studies. According to Gibbs, they advised residents to stop growing vegetables, going into their basements or walking barefoot, but they refused to take any action.

The film portrays a climactic moment when Gibbs organized a hostage situation.

The officials from the EPA were barricaded inside a residence and Gibbs, now in contact with President Jimmy Carter, told him immediate action was necessary. Carter acquiesced, making a personal appearance and putting into motion an emergency evacuation. The aftermath with Gibbs’ sick children was overwhelmingly positive.

“We moved from Love Canal,” Gibbs said. “They got healthy, as did many kids from Love Canal, which also shows you how resilient the American person’s body is.”

The film, directed by Mark Michell, featured celebrities as narrators. Robert Redford, Ashley Judd, Van Jones, Isabel Allende and Meryl Streep added their voice talents, and the film debuted at the Sundance Film Festival in 2012. Learning from mistakes in the past and the successes of people like Gibbs were some of the big takeaways from the film.

“She’s very inspiring, in terms of one person can make a difference,” Williams said. “So I’m hoping that students will hear what she has to say and learn a little more about the Love Canal experience, which was before a lot of students’ time, or they were very young. That’s a really empowering message for students to hear, especially when we’re faced with all the big challenges we are.”

Gibbs sees things getting better, but also a need for people to stand up when they see a problem. She was motivated by her family and strong emotions.

“My strength just came from the anger within me that the system doesn’t work.

At first it was, ‘If I didn’t do it, who would?’ Afterwards, many community people called me from all over the world and said, ‘We think we have a problem like that and we don’t know what to do. What did you learn and how can you share that?’ And that’s what kept me going.”

Today, Gibbs is the executive director for the Center for Health, Environment & Justice, a national nonprofit organization that provides organizing and technical assistance to grassroots community groups in the environmental health and justice movements.

Sharing her thoughts with the audience, Gibbs states that change must come from common places.

“I think it totally takes an everyday citizen getting into a politician’s face. Politicians are only as powerful as you make him or her. A politician will only do what he or she has to do to stay in office,” Gibbs said.

“And yeah, corporations will give them huge donations, and if you’re not in their face, they’re going to answer to the corporation.

But they have to come home to get voted back into office.”

As Adams sat across from Gibbs, he was full of praise for her grassroots efforts, but he also sees the issue of environmental sustainability as far too low on the nation’s priorities.

“We are very lucky,” Adams said. “Portland is ranked one of the most sus-

NEWS

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR of the City Club of Portland and former Mayor Sam Adams and environmental activist Lois Gibbs field questions after the showing of the film.

Christopher Sohler/PSU VANGUARD

tainable cities in the United States, but when I served as mayor and served as chief of staff to mayors…I would always follow the ethic that Portland might be the most sustainable city in the United States, but that’s high praise on an incredibly low standard.

“To give a local example, there are political action committees, which focus on a lot of local issues here in Portland.

There isn’t a single political action committee whose mission is to focus on Portland’s urban sustainability.”

Adams sees PSU as a key player in the development of urban sustainability.

“We see it in the Institute for Sustainable Solutions

having a partnership program, so students have the opportunity to either work in departments of government or non-profits that allow a student to be both an advocate for sustainability out in the community, and then take that real world experience back into the

classroom,” Adams said.

“This is the best urban university in the United States, and a key reason for that is long term planning, public health, green business and all the sustainable practices.

PSU is key for the future success of Portland’s urban sustainability efforts.”

CORRECTION

Due to a production error last week’s story, “Rearguard/Spectrum merger discussed,” incorrectly stated the suspected cause of the disappearance of two issues of The Rearguard. It is believed to be the result of a miscommunication between The Rearguard and facilities, not the Vanguard. We regret the error and apologize for any confusion it may have caused.

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

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NEWS

Student Housing Website RentComfy expands service to PSU campus Colleen Leary

Austin-based student housing company RentComfy extended its service to the Portland State campus on April 7. RentComfy. com calls itself “eHarmony for the apartment search.”

The website and mobile app is a service for students to create profiles and find matches for local apartments and home rentals.

For students who live off campus, finding housing can be challenging. “We have an off-campus housing guide, but once students live off campus, we don’t really facilitate housing,” said Brittany Land, a senior and front desk assistant in PSU’s housing office.

PSU encourages its students to live on campus to enrich their educational experience. “Our mission is student success and engagement,” said PSU Housing Director Michael Walsh.

With PSU’s large student demographic, housing every-

one is impossible. “We recognize we can’t house 30,000 students, so we try to help people find something that’s going to work for them,” Walsh said.

“We refer almost exclusively to University Pointe,” Walsh added. University Pointe is owned by American Campus Communities, an Austin, Texas based for-profit company that specializes in college student housing.

Oregon native Jordan Wright co-founded RentComfy to address student housing needs throughout the country. “We pull all kinds of listings and only match students with apartments within their price range,” Wright said.

RentComfy relocated to Austin to develop a relationship with American Campus Communities, which uses RentComfy at some of their student housing communities.

RentComfy provides students with incentives for using their service. When students sign a lease on a home they’ve found through the website, RentComfy pays them a percentage of the fee charged to property managers. “We’re making money off the students, so we think we should share that with the renter,” Wright said.

Students using the service receive personally tailored listings, and RentComfy users can interact with each listing. When they decline an apartment listing, they can explain why they’re not interested. This aspect helps the website to offer only the most relevant listings in an apartment search.

For many students, living off campus can be too expensive in comparison to PSU housing. Each year, PSU makes an effort to provide affordable housing for students. “We do market

Rentcomfy results are listed on a map based on the location of the user’s school.

@rentcomfy.com

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Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

analysis each year to peg our prices a little lower. We’re usually about 85–90 percent lower than market prices,” Walsh said. Students can find housing cost comparisons on PSU’s housing website.

RentComfy tries to orient students to the housing expenses near their schools. “A lot of students don’t know what price they should be looking for in their campus area. Our website automatically provides the average price for the area,” Wright said.

The website also provides a subleasing service. RentComfy contacts property

managers as a third party for students in order to find good matches for apartment and house subletters. “We do this for students without giving away any personal information,” Wright added.

“One of the big challenges [for students] is finding compatible roommates. Most landlords don’t care about whether or not roommates are going to get along,” Walsh said. “Our on-campus staff is specifically designed to help students sort out any issues with roommates. The forprofit market doesn’t focus on that.” On-campus students fill out questionnaires

CRIME BLOTTER

Week of May 12–19

Stephanie Tshappat

May 12 Arrest

Blumel residence hall, south side At 3:55 p.m., Officer Denae Murphy and Officer David Baker contacted and arrested non-student Mark Ellis for disorderly conduct II and harassment.

Ellis was causing alarm and annoyance by yelling in a tumultuous manner and striking his shirt on the ground in a violent manner. Ellis also advanced toward two separate males as though he was going to strike them, and advanced toward officers with a raised shirt as though he was going to attack. Ellis eventually complied with commands but grabbed an officer’s arm while being taken into custody. Ellis

about lifestyle, interests and other pertinent information.

RentComfy plans to add a similar service to their repertoire, addressing the gap that is usually found in off-campus housing. “We’re working on having an option for finding roommates, but we don’t have it yet,” Wright said.

Since RentComfy extended its service to PSU and other Oregon universities, they’ve been consistently gathering data to improve service for students. “We’ve had a couple thousand visits [per] month from Oregon in the short time we’ve been there,” Wright said.

claimed his girlfriend injected him with cocaine, and was issued a citation in lieu of arrest for the above charges before being released to paramedics to be transported to a local hospital. A later check of records showed Ellis had a current PSU exclusion under a slightly different name.

May 15 Criminal Mischief

Neuberger Hall At approximately 7 p.m., Officer Chris Fisher and Officer Brenton Chose responded to a report of a subject punching a window on the third floor mezzanine. Upon arrival officers followed the blood trail to a student who was trying to provide first aid to himself. Sergeant Robert McLeary arrived as well and assisted in applying pressure

to a large laceration on the student’s right hand. The student stated he was mad and attempted to open the window but made contact with the glass. A witness stated the student was mad and punched the window. The report was forwarded to the Dean of Student Life, CARE team and Risk Management.

Read the full crime blotter online at psuvanguard.com

OPINION

Brunei: Hype and hypocrisy BRUNEI

Against the Current

by Sebastian Richardson When Russia first passed a law banning the spread of homosexual propaganda, people all across the western world were up in arms. All major news outlets were extremely critical if not blatantly outraged, bars boycotted the sale of Russian vodka and people even called for the United States to boycott the Sochi Olympics.

Recently, another international scandal has arisen after the Sultan of Brunei, Hassanal Bolkiah, announced the first implementations of Sharia law within the country. The Islamic-based criminal law is set to include punishments such as flogging, dismemberment and death by stoning for crimes such as rape, adultery and sodomy. These religious tenants will operate alongside the civil law and will apply to both Muslims and non-Muslims.

Luckily, I do not feel as if I even need to humor this development with any opinion condemning such actions because any sensible person will recognize that this is a horrible travesty that should be stopped. Unless of course you’re a moral or cultural relativist.

My main concern, aside from the fact that countless human rights violations will potentially occur, is how people, the media, our government and celebrities have chosen to respond.

I’m sure I would not surprise anyone by claiming that the current state of our mass media and international relations have degraded to the point where you can’t put your trust in any outlet, but this situation really exemplifies why.

Firstly, the media delayed quite a bit when it came to reporting such developments abroad. In fact, Ellen DeGeneres, the NBC hostess, tweeted about the situation nearly a week prior to any publication from CNN or Fox News. In fact, most articles regarding Brunei have more to do with the fact that celebrities have begun protesting the Beverly Hills Hotel rather than how awful such a reality is for those who live there.

I can’t help but feel the fact that Brunei sits on a large amount of oil reserves has something to do with the reluctance of any government official or major news outlet to make a large fuss about it. While the spokesperson of the State Department has expressed some concerns over the implementation of the law and its possible implications, not one government official has issued any statement condemning the actions on a political level or a moral one.

I do not wish to seem like a conspiracy theorist, but to me this just serves as a great example of political maneuvering. I can only imagine that the reluctance to issue any official con-

Indian Ocean

CHRISTOPHER PERALTA/PSU VANGUARD

demnation is done in order to avoid provoking unfavorable reactions from leaders and countries the United States has a vested interest in.

It always amazes me that the United States will topple regimes in the Middle East and attack the Russian Federation, but will twiddle its thumbs when countries like North Korea have forced labor camps, and will ignore war crimes committed by its allies.

Aside from the hypocrisy of our own government, I can’t help but be extremely critical of this public outcry from our glamorous Hollywood stars.

I can’t tell if they are simply naïve or if they are just acting for the sake of publicity, but their protest of a famous Los Angeles hotel owned by the Brunei Investment Agency does very little to effect Brunei and will probably just result in some uninvolved people losing their jobs.

There are currently over 80 countries where homosexuality is illegal, but you hardly ever hear people outside of

full-time advocacy groups raising alarm bells over this. Such knowledge hasn’t stopped movie stars from filming in these countries, musicians headlining shows there and celebrities vacationing there.

You don’t see celebrities getting upset over laws condemning homosexuality in Belize, the United Arab Emirates, Morocco and Jamaica, but as soon as a hotel located in their own backyard is owned by an investment firm located in a country that condemns homosexuality, all hell breaks loose.

To me, it seems that a few celebrities act in such a way not because they care, but so they can feel a momentary wave of self-righteousness by “making a difference.”

While I’m not sure what’s worse—a media that manipulates news, a government that puts political and economic interests over human rights, or rich celebrities seeking public recognition to satisfy their egos—the whole situation makes me sick, and my heart goes out to those who experience violence at the hands of extremist regimes.

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

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OPINION

Portland’s pistol army Keep CPSO from joining the militarized police

The Illuminator

by Mike Bivins

Gone are the days of Barney Fife with his one bullet that Andy gave him in case of emergency. Nowadays, cops have more bells and whistles hanging from their uniforms than Batman’s utility belt. They also have pistols with clips that can be reloaded with great speed.

So much for Barney and his one bullet. Yet even this one bullet gave Barney plenty of problems, as he was always figuring out a way to make the gun misfire. It’s lucky that no one got killed.

The police in Portland make a bad habit out of brutalizing the citizens they are supposed to protect and serve. In 2011, Portland Officer Dane Reister mistakenly fired four live shotgun rounds, rather than less-lethal bean bag rounds, 15 feet away from an unarmed and mentally disturbed man named William Monroe. Monroe was left with a softball-sized hole in his leg, a fractured pelvis and a punctured colon and bladder.

According to his lawyer, Monroe would have died of blood loss had the incident not taken place near the Oregon Health & Science University, a level 1 trauma center. Monroe received a record $2.3 million settlement from the city of Portland. A just amount considering that the only reason Monroe did not receive further injuries was that Reister was firing so quickly that the gun jammed after the fourth round. Rather than come up with an explanation, I just think back to Barney Fife and how he could not have bungled this situation any worse.

Cases like this make the common citizen mistrust police and their ability to safely use firearms in a tense situation.

All I can think about is the body count that the Portland Police have racked up over the last 20-something years I’ve lived here. PortlandCopWatch.org has chronicled dozens of officerinvolved killings, along with dozens more involving beatings.

I do not buy into the trite argument that arises whenever a cop tramples someone’s civil rights: We trust them to make the tough decisions, and they are putting their lives on the line. If this sounds familiar, it was the same line of reasoning given in American History X as to why the officers who beat Rodney King should be excused.

It is easy to say that maybe the police got caught up in the moment and overreacted. However, is it so easy to dismiss a civil rights violation when it is your own family member whose life is being rubbed out all over the sidewalk?

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Corinna Scott/PSU VANGUARD

These clowns who talk about how much they trust the police to make decisions have clearly never been unlucky enough to be on the bad side of the police. I have been stopped several times over the years for just walking down the street at night, resulting in a pat down and brief detainment I’m not so sure was legal. It is a good thing I did not have psychiatric problems, as I would have undoubtedly feared for my life and might have tried to get away.

This brings me around to the idea of arming Portland State Campus Public Safety officers. Are you kidding me? May 5 marked the 44th anniversary of the Kent State massacre. This event is indicative of what could take place if there was an armed presence on campus. The National Guard was undoubtedly trigger happy, and since they could not take out their aggression on the Vietnamese, they took it out on defenseless students. No one knows why they opened fire. Just like we do not know what was going through Reister’s mind when he did not double check to make sure that he was firing beanbag rounds instead of buckshot.

I have had discussions with CPSO officers in the past, and they do not like to be reminded that they are not in the same league as the real police. “But I went to the same academy

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

they did!” Big deal. If you want to carry a gun, then go work for the police department. With this upgrade, you get to use tear gas and attack dogs, as well as dress up like a paramilitary thug wearing a black mask. That is, if you get selected to be a member of SERT (Portland’s version of SWAT.) Besides, PSU is supposed to be a place where we can learn and be at ease. I would not feel at ease if I have to worry about encountering a modern-day Barney Fife with an itchy trigger finger and a monkey on his back.

Since Portland’s officer-involved shootings reached critical mass in 2011, they seem to have gotten their act together.

I would not want CPSO officers to have to go through the trial and error that the Portland Police went through before, presumably, they realized that they cannot shoot first and ask questions later. This is not the South: We do not place blind trust in the police in this town.

Anyone I know who remembers the Portland Police of the 1990s-2000s does not trust the police. These police were similar to self-styled Judge Dredds, playing the role of judge, jury and executioner. Portland State CPSO officers should not be given the same chance to screw up.

OPINION

Time is not on our side Global Thinking

by Derek Sun

Last month, Der Spiegel featured a story on 89-year-old Werner Christukat, a Wehrmacht soldier and World War II veteran who is being investigated for allegedly participating in the massacre of over 640 men, women and children in a French town in 1944.

Christukat is among a number of aging soldiers of Nazi Germany suspected of having escaped justice for about seven decades. Prosecutors now intend to find out how

large his role in the killing of residents of the town called Oradour-sur-Glane was, and whether he can be charged as a war criminal. For his part, Christukat acknowledges being at the village during the massacre but insists he did not kill anyone and instead actually helped some French villagers escape from the massacre.

Around the same time that Christukat’s case came to light, a flurry of remakes and sequels to classic 1980s films were announced with fanfare. A sequel to the 2010 remake of The Karate Kid is confirmed. A sequel to The Goonies is also being planned, with the goal of reuniting the original cast. Plans are also underway for a remake of Gremlins, and the 800-pound gorilla in the room is the coming onslaught of new Star Wars movies. As with The Goonies, many original actors are being persuaded to return to maximize the nostalgia factor and box office profits.

I felt somewhat ashamed and puzzled at myself for initially being more concerned about the movie remakes than with the case of the unpunished Nazi soldier, but it is to be expected.

These movies hold plenty of sentiment in my heart and mind.

Guest editorial illustration from Juliana Johnson & Kate Gaimbrone’s Graphic Design 210 students

Plenty of successful television shows, from Mad Men to Pawn Stars, capitalize on our strange and dangerous attachment to things of the past.

I had to spend time contemplating the savagery of the Oradour-sur-Glane massacre, an event I previously never knew anything about, before becoming emotionally invested in Christukat’s story. The suffering of countless real people can easily seem unimportant when compared to some kitschy movies.

Nazi war crimes and popular 1980s films may appear unrelated, but they actually share some major similarities. Both situations involve the evanescence of memory and how any emotion, positive or negative, invariably fades simply with the passage of time. The most horrific and destructive actions mankind is capable of can be gradually erased by neurons that decay, stories that contradict one another and hearts that cease beating.

Regarding endeavors to prove whether Christukat is guilty or innocent, Der Spiegel touched on neuro-scientific research which suggests that with increasing time, people tend to form slightly more positive memories and convince themselves that whatever they experienced had some silver lining.

Christukat argues that he was responsible for rescuing some women and claims to feel intense hatred of Nazism and remorse for victims of the Third Reich. But 70 years after the incident, it is nearly impossible to accurately reconstruct the true events.

Records of Christukat and the massacre are scarce, statements from prosecutors and Christukat are backed by little evidence and, most shamefully, the ideal time for convicting and punishing Nazis is nearly over. Most participants of Nazi Germany’s empire are suffering from dementia or have already died and escaped justice. Had Germans taken a widespread and serious approach to investigating the Third Reich’s supporters during the 1950s and '60s, there might not be so much confusion and inability to discover the truth as there is today.

We are currently entering a dangerous new era with regards to World War II. The Greatest Generation, along with the people who carried out Hitler’s plans of genocide and conquest, is shrinking in number every day. Holocaust survivors, American GIs, French Resistance fighters, comfort women and all other people with firsthand memories of the war will, in several decades, be as foreign and inaccessible to us as veterans of the American Revolution or the Civil War. Time is ruining our ability to recall a catastrophic event, and without any of the original survivors of World War II, our recollections of the conflict will grow less and less accurate. We lost the last World War I veteran several years ago. When we finally lose the last World War II veteran, we will come closer to being less cautious about violence and closer to igniting another war to generate fresh memories. A couple of generations from now, young people will have no ability to personally see and hear World War II veterans, the Beatles, Barack Obama and all other living figures we take for granted. All human achievements, no matter how important, wonderful or terrible, will fade and become the subject of jokes and questions.

People will begin to wonder whether Hitler was really that evil or if he actually existed, or whether World War II was really that destructive. The pain of the Holocaust will grow more trivial with each day, as no Holocaust victims will remain to tell their stories and remind people of the Holocaust legacy.

Time, with its ability to age and kill off everything in this world, will destroy all of our memories, no matter what we do.

Eventually, there may be a third world war that dwarfs World War II on the scale of death and tragedy, yet even that will not be enough to survive the human mind for more than a century.

Out of lack of creativity and forgetfulness, we remake films and reenact similar events to capture certain emotions, and when those emotions fade, we repeat the process.

Courtesy of Gavin Miller

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OUTDOOR GUIDE

Bigfoot isn’t real, but Sasquatch is An exclusive 'Vanguard' look at the life of a Bigfoot hunter Andrew Echeverria & Turner Lobey

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he rural forests of the Pacific Northwest are a daunting and labyrinthian sea of trees that undoubtedly house many dark secrets, one of which may or may not be the crafty, camera-shy Sasquatch.

Jermy, a Sasquatch hunting expert, knows this about as well as his name is ridiculous.

“They spelled my name [ed: Jeremy] wrong on the birth certificate and didn’t give me no last name neither,” Jermy explained. “But I never changed it outta respect for ‘em.”

Jermy, a 42-year-old Skamania County resident who would prefer we not share his name with you (though we did anyway), lost his parents in a house fire when he was a teenager. Although his parents’ home was in a densely populated suburban neighborhood far from the deep forests of Washington state, Jermy maintains that they were actually murdered by the elusive Sasquatch and not burned alive because they fell asleep while smoking cigarettes in bed. Jermy now makes it his life’s work to track down Bigfoot and exact his revenge.

Hunting Bigfoot is serious business for the man, but even so Jermy was kind enough to take us along on a trek to hunt for the elusive creature. After making us roll naked in mud to mask our “city scent,” we found ourselves on a miles-long hike through the deep forest north

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of Washougal, Washington, a popular stomping ground for Sasquatch, according to our guide.

“To all the naysayers who read your magazine or whatever, I say that Sasquatch has to exist. The proof is all around us.” At this point Jermy raised his arms and spun around, pointing to the dense forest that surrounded us. “There wouldn’t be no woods here if not for him. Ya see, he plants the trees.”

Jermy raised several such enlightening points on our journey into the forest. Though we never spotted a Sasquatch or anything more than a few squirrels and crows, Jermy told us more than enough stories of adventure and intrigue to sate our Bigfoot-hunting palates. One such anecdote took place on a life-altering night drive.

“I was driving through them woods up north and east of Seattle. It was real dark and I couldn’t see nothin’ but the road in front of me and the tree branches all whippin’ past me on either side. And that’s all I did see that night. I never saw no Sasquatch because they know not to cross the road when any cars are comin’.

They know that you’re comin’ before you even know you’re comin’. And that’s the night I realized: These Sasquatches is smart. Think about it.

D’you boys see any Sasquatch on our drive up here?”

We responded negatively.

“Proof,” Jermy said.

“Can you honestly say the lack of seeing a Bigfoot on the road is proof of his existence?” we asked.

“Bigfoot? Yer kiddin’ me, right? There ain’t no such thing as a Bigfoot. Sasquatch, on the other hand, now he’s real,” Jermy said. “Ya know where the name Sasquatch comes from, ya city slickers? The official scientific name Sasquatch is derived from the Halkomelem word Sésquac, meaning wild man.

The vulgar term ‘Bigfoot’ is disrespectful for Sasquatch hunters of my ilk. Show some gat’dang respect.”

Jermy may be an experienced hunter who knows the woods like the back of his meaty paws, but he doesn’t rely on his wits alone.

Though he seemed hesitant, Jermy gave us an exclusive look at his arsenal of surveillance equipment.

He uses standard video cameras that record straight to video cassette, as well as

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a “night vision” flashlight, mousetraps and darts he has stolen from bars over the years that have been dipped in NyQuil.

His favorite tool for tracking Bigfoot is a device he calls the Floatograph, which is pretty much just a fancy way of saying a second-hand weather balloon with a plastic onetime-use camera he bought at Goodwill attached to it.

The idea is that the balloon is launched into the sky where it hovers over the canopy of the forest in the hopes that it will capture the nocturnal activities of the monster. Despite Jermy’s failure to realize that the camera is not digital nor capable of automatically taking photographs, he maintains that the Sasquatch is at fault for deleting all of the Floatograph’s pictures with aid from psychic powers.

“One night last week I got woke up from my slumber in a real cold sweat by the sound of some terrible screechin’.

I raced down the trail, but what I thought was the howls

of a wounded Sasquatch was actually the boisterous matin’ sounds of two North American black bears.”

Not all of his adventures have brought him closer to Bigfoot, however. Perhaps the most heartbreaking moment for Jermy since losing his parents was when he attended Sasquatch Fest 2013, assuming it to be the secret meeting place for all Sasquatches.

Thinking that he had outsmarted Bigfoot once and for all, Jermy burst into tears amidst a crowd of 20-somethings while “some shit-assed kids [ed: Vampire Weekend] sang some song about that Mexico drink [ed: Horchata].”

“Ya know, I may never find ‘im, but gat’dang, I know he’s out there. Y’all ever hear a’that guy Oxum [ed.

Occam]? He’s got this razor, see, which is a fancy way of sayin’ the simplest somethin’ is better than some complicated somethin’ or whatever. You think all them peoples who been seein’ him been makin’ it all up? It’s

much more simpler just’ta believe it’s all the true: Sasquatch is real.”

After several hours and miles hiking through the woods, we returned to civilization in defeat. Unable to find Bigfoot in the wilderness, we departed nature to drown our failure at Jermy’s favorite bar, the conveniently named Sasquatch’s Speakeasy.

Behind the bar stood a monolith of a man, easily 6 feet 5 inches and covered in hair. From under his knit cap, flowing hair cascaded down and met with a beard that would put Tolstoy to shame.

The sleeves of his flannel were rolled back showing long, lanky arms where hair grew so thick it was impossible to see naked flesh. The large creature grinned at us and slid an ice cold brew down the stand.

“I haven’t caught ‘im yet,” said Jermy, just as he caught the beer, “but I’ll get ‘im one day. I’ll hunt down that Sasquatch if it takes my whole gat’dang life.”

Rare bigfoot sighting at The Freaky But True Peculiaruim Museum located at 2234 N.W. Thurman St. Suprisingly, she was pretty easy to work with.

Christopher Sohler/PSU VANGUARD

OUTDOOR GUIDE

The great outdoors: majestic, mighty, murderous Brandon Staley

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ummer vacation is right around the corner, and the nice weather is coming with it. You might be tempted to make the most of it and venture outside. Obviously that’s a terrible idea. Do you have any idea what’s out there? Well neither do I, but I’ve heard about it in hushed whispers. So, in the interest of keeping you safe, here are the top three things I’ve heard are vying to kill you, gross you out or kidnap you outside this summer.

Allergies (and the Things They Make You Eat) It’s that time of year again. Your throat is scratchy. Your eyes are red and weeping. You’re sneezing constantly. The pollen has returned, and you’re susceptible to allergies. You could take some medicine, but let’s face it, this is Portland, so there’s got to be some “alternative.”

There was a time when honey was considered the go-to alternative medicine for combating allergies. The premise is simple: Bees gather pollen from local flowers and take it back to their hive. The bees digest the pollen, barf it back up and voila, honey! By consuming the barf–I mean honey–you are also consuming the pollen which, in theory, builds up your immunity. It’s delicious, it’s nutritious and it has pretty much no foundation in actual science. But are you really gonna let that get you down? It’s so alternative!

Like most alternative medications that go out of style, honey has fallen out of favor because it just wasn’t a direct enough solution. You’re a busy person, and you need those fads—I mean medicines—to go straight to your veins! Enter pollen pellets, balls of pollen that bees roll with their chitinous little legs, harvested before the pollen can be ingested. Now there’s a world of options open! So the question falls to you: If you’re going to go outside and face allergy season, what alternative method will you choose? The vom or the yoga ball? Better yet, why not stay inside, sucking at your air filter until all of this just blows over.

Snakes, Insects & Most ANYTHING Smaller than You Nature is an efficient monster. Make no mistake: Any species that has proliferated to the point that we know about it has done so by leaving a trail of bodies behind it. Evolution does not reward winning smiles and polite demeanors; it rewards whatever can bite the necks of the most things in rapid succession and with great aplomb. Consider, then, the number of very small creatures in the animal kingdom. They must be fabulous at killing things. Big things.

CORINNA SCOTT/PSU VANGUARD

Let’s start off simple: snakes that look like the ground. What’s up with that? If nature is so warm and invigorating, why did it spawn an animal that is basically just a long, angry, poisonous syringe that you can’t see? Seems counterintuitive. Luckily, Oregon is home to only two types of poisonous snake, and they’re rattlesnakes. I respect rattlesnakes—at least they have the decency to warn you before they liquefy your tummy guts.

Snakes might be a rare sight in the Oregon wilderness, but ticks are pretty much everywhere. Recommended methods of removing ticks vary, with results that range from “probably safe” to “no, that will make it barf inside of you and you will get a disease that only deer should get.” There’s no reason you should have to suffer like a deer, the elongated rodent of the animal kingdom.

Ice Cream Vans You’re in the depths of summer and the heat has come in force. You took the advice of crazy people who insisted “you

don’t need an air conditioner” because “it’s only hot for, like, a few weeks.” Well, the weeks have dragged on and now you’re melting.

But lo, what’s that melodious, plucky tune? Could it be? It must! You run out into the street, wad of cash in hand. What do you see? If you’re lucky, you find a boxy ice cream truck containing a cheerful mustachioed man, who is ready to serve you ice cream in the shape of Ninja Turtles and who will probably wink at least once. In reality, you find an ice cream van.

You’ll know an ice cream van when you see it. They’re the unmarked, white vans with pictures of maybe-still-in-production ice cream putty’d to their tinted windows like newspaper clippings in a serial killer’s trophy room. You find them trolling neighborhoods like the sirens of yore. They sing their mournful tune, filling children’s ears with promises of sweets, but the only promise they can fulfill is that of Stranger Danger. I would advise you to stay away from ice cream vans, but it’s pretty obvious. They’re the only vehicles to successfully broadcast an aura of whatever the opposite of “come hither” is.

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OUTDOOR GUIDE

Geocaching

VALARIE KITTLE/PSU VANGUARD

Patricia Grant

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ooking to tap into your inner Goonie? Just whip out your smartphone and you’ll be on your way.

Geocaching is an outdoor, modern-day treasure hunting game using GPS-enabled devices to hide and seek caches containing trinkets left by other members of the geocaching community. Right now, there are over two million active caches hidden all over the world waiting for you to find.

It’s no surprise that geocaching originated in Oregon, home of the ultimate treasure hunt flick The Goonies, but you don’t need to travel all the way to the coast to start your caching adventure. In fact, right now there is a cache located here on the Portland State campus.

So, how can you begin your own treasure hunt?

The first step is registering with the official geocache website, geocaching.com.

The company also has two applications, a free introduction app and a $12.99 all-inclusive app. Once you’re a member, you can decide what kind of cache to look for by using the location services on your phone, or typing in your zip code on the website.

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Both the website and applications will give information about the caches available in your area.

Would you like to enjoy a hike while hunting down your cache? Mount Tabor and Forest Park have several located among their grounds, so you can take in Portland’s breathtaking scenery while getting closer to your treasure.

Or perhaps you are more interested in navigating the streets of the city? Hundreds of urban caches are located near the riverfront, Pioneer Square, the Park Blocks and more.

After you’ve decided what type of cache to look for, it’s time to head outside and try to find it. Just follow the coordinates provided by your phone or GPS device, and once you have arrived at the location, look high and low for the hidden cache. Caches can be nestled in the hollows of trees or underneath rocks, but some are hidden in plain sight, so make sure to keep your eyes open.

Geocaches can come in all shapes and sizes—from a Tupperware container to a small film canister. The website or app will provide

you with a general idea of what size the cache is. All caches contain a logbook (so don’t forget to bring a pen) and many contain fun goodies left by previous geocachers. Caches have been known to contain everything from small toys or customized coins, to gift cards.

If you plan on taking a treasure from a cache, make sure to replace it with something you’re willing to trade.

Portland has a large geocaching community, and judging by our famous motto, “Keep Portland Weird,” the caches located in our city are bound to contain something out of this world.

The Pacific Northwest has become a playground for geocachers. Treasures can be found up and down the Columbia River Gorge, Mount Hood and along the Oregon coastline.

Whether you’re an avid outdoorsman or just looking for some laid-back fun to get your mind off that paper due next week, geocaching is a game for any lifestyle. So throw on some shoes, fire up your GPS and say hello to the Goonie inside of you.

Happy hunting!

OUTDOOR GUIDE

Have no fear, get your outdoor gear Ashley Rask

T

o be completely honest, there are people who are more outdoors-y than me.

I like to go camping from time to time and I’m a casual rock climber (when I say casual, I mean really casual), but one thing I do enjoy about the outdoors is all the sweet gear. Below I’ve compiled a list of places in Portland where you can get some quality outdoor equipment, both to rent and buy.

Next Adventure

426 S.E. Grand Ave. No matter your outdoor activity of choice, Next Adventure has a broad selection of equipment to choose from. Pop in and chat with the friendly and knowledgeable staff and they’ll get you hooked up with whatever gear you’re looking for. The store also offers equipment rental, including kayaks, paddling gear, snowboards and snowshoes.

bags. They also offer equipment for half of their regular price if you’re a PSU student.

Andy and Bax

324 S.E. Grand Ave. A quick 15-minute ride on the bus from PSU, Andy and Bax, a military surplus store, sells outdoor clothing and camping supplies at an affordable price. No matter how into camping you are, Andy and Bax has something for everyone. They also have a wide selection of rain gear—lightweight to heavy duty—so you can stay

dry during Oregon’s rainy months (i.e., year-round).

Portland Outdoor Store

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304 S.W. 3rd Ave. First opening around 1914, the Portland Outdoor Store is known for selling quality clothing made mostly of down, leather and wool. They also have one of the biggest boot and saddle selections that I’ve ever seen. If you’re like me and don’t know anything about cowboy garb, the staff are more than willing to answer any questions.

Dale McBride, equipment center attendant, and Jessica Strack, rafting trip leader, at PSU’s Outdoor Program.

REI

1405 N.W. Johnson St. #150 While REI tends to be on the more expensive side, there’s no doubt that they carry some quality equipment for pretty much any outdoor activity that you can think of. Before you let the higher prices deter you, REI frequently has huge sales that offer hefty discounts. They’re currently having their biggest sale of the year, which offers up to 30 percent off of a wide selection of items. The sale lasts from May 16–26.

Portland State Outdoor Program

505 S.W. Harrison St. If you’re looking for a place to rent some outdoor equipment without breaking the bank, check out PSU’s Outdoor Program. Their extensive list of rental equipment includes everything from water sports clothing to sleeping

CHRISTOPHER SOHLER/PSU VANGUARD

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OUTDOOR GUIDE

Hand-in-hand through the day Joel Gunderson

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aking that special someone on a date can cause a myriad of reactions, depending on the level of your relationship. A new beginning will often be highlighted by nerves, an unusual amount of sweating and handfuls of awkward moments. Throw in the added wait of the day, and that first or second date can be more agonizing than enjoyable.

On the other hand, a long-term relationship comes with pitfalls as well. Reaching that next level with somebody can be a wonderful thing. Only when you find true comfort with someone can you truly appreciate who they are as a person. However, with complacency comes laziness, and with laziness comes feelings of rejection.

The answer to both of these situations? It’s simple, and fortunately, it’s usually cheaper than the alternative. It’s called daytime.

Taking your partner, current or potential, on a day date can be a wonderfully rewarding and eye-opening experience. Wondering what she’s like in jeans and a T-shirt, and not dolled-up?

Wondering if his slick moves are a product of a cocktail or the real thing? Taking a person out into the real world and away from overpriced dinners and dance clubs gives you a true perspective of who they are.

It’s also a great way for long-time couples to rediscover the pure joys of just being with each other.

Portland, for all of the downtown options it has to offer, also offers a litany of daytime events that are perfect for couples.

One of the most simple yet overlooked is the zoo. Yes, the zoo.

Smelly, overcrowded and with way too many screaming kids, the zoo is actually the perfect getaway, no matter the state of your love life. In fact, my wife and I went there for Mother’s Day. Watching our 16-month-old baby smile and point to all the doggies—all animals to her are doggies—was the perfect way for us to reconnect and see how the simplest things in life are the most important. As our lives grow more hectic and it becomes easier to splinter apart, spending an afternoon alone, the three of us together, was quite simply the best date we have had. We weren’t staring at a movie screen or looking at our plates of food.

The only thing we held was each others hands and our baby.

On top of that, we noticed lots of very obvious first dates. Sure, there were still nerves, but seeing young couples out and about was nice. They always had things to look at, conversations could always be found, and the pressure was off. All and all, it appears that the zoo may be the best place in Portland to take that special, or potentially special, someone.

But if you’re wanting to stay with the outside theme, there are other great options as well. The Portland Japanese Gardens offers the best of both worlds—for the lady, she is surrounded by flowered beauty, the gardens swallowing you whole; for the male, aside from walking along with her, you allow the woman to be in her element. If she’s comfortable, you’re comfortable.

It’s a win-win situation and again, whether you’re just starting or re-kindling, a daytime stroll through the gardens could be just what you’re looking for.

The beauty of Portland, however, is that if there is one version of something, there are always more. Japanese Gardens too crowded? Simply jump over to the Rose Garden (no, not the real Rose Garden, aka the Moda Center), but another land of petalled beauty. Yes, there is in fact more than one place to walk around and look at flowers. Who would have known?

Not into flowers? That’s OK. The point of this is to show you that sometimes it’s the alternative to the norm that works the best. Date nights are great, but cliché. Want to spice things up, or show them that you’re different from the rest? Offer to take them out at 12 p.m., not 12 a.m. Stand out. Be unique.

Maybe you’ll find that you really enjoy being with that person, sans the pressure. Maybe you’ll rediscover why you fell in love in the first place.

MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

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OUTDOOR GUIDE

Au Naturel

Just the Tips for outdoor sex

Adam LaMascus

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ast week was the first of May. Those of us who are Jonathan Coulton fans know what that means. If you don’t know, look it up, but not at work or while people who are iffy about sex humor are within earshot. Anyway, this week I was asked to discuss the possibilities of getting romantic in the great outdoors.

Before I continue, I must emphasize that I am not going to encourage anybody to have sex anywhere outside of their home, partner’s home, hotel, etc. Oregon law states that having any kind of sexual intercourse, “deviant sexual intercourse” (what the hell does that mean?) or “exposing the genitals with the intent of arousing the sexual desire of the person or another person” while in a public place is a Class A misdemeanor with potential jail time.

Keep that in mind.

But should you be out in the wilderness and be overcome by the urge for some outdoor romance—so swept away by passion that any heartfelt pleading of mine to be good, law-abiding citizens would fall on deaf ears—then here are some thoughts to keep in mind.

Portland is surrounded by woods and has some very large, often very empty parks.

A local friend of mine said that Washington Park and Forest Park are nice and full of secluded romantic spots.

If you have a car, your options open up substantially for potential getaways. As mentioned, there are forests EVERYWHERE around here. Also, the Oregon coast is a gorgeous and lovely place during the summer, like-

wise with long and secluded stretches of forest and a picturesque beach.

Interestingly, canoes, kayaks and other small boats also give you lots of options. The Columbia and Willamette rivers are both right here, and both of them have many uninhabited islands and long stretches of empty beach or woods along them. In terms of islands, my friends told me that Government Island, Ross Island and Sauvie Island are all wooded, empty and a lot of fun to walk around on, regardless of whatever activities you decide to indulge in.

Keep all the dirt, sand and general particulates around in mind, and do your thing in a way to minimize pain or yeast infections in the morning. Bonus points if you bring a blanket.

Beyond the criminal repercussions, I would doubly encourage any outdoor lovers to stay away from places where people can see you.

Frankly, intentionally putting yourself in a position where people are likely to unknowingly walk in on you having sex is not cool. Having people watch you have sex, whether they want to or not, is getting them involved in your sex. You only get people involved in your sex when they have expressed consent.

Exhibitionism is fine, but be an exhibitionist in front of people who want to watch it.

Surprising random passersby with your heaving passion is forcing yourself upon them in a manner that is similar to being a flasher. Don’t do it. It isn’t cool.

The last thing to keep in mind is your surroundings.

Pay attention to your envi-

ronment. I have three short stories that all happened to good friends of mine to illustrate the possible outcomes of not paying attention.

The first couple were having sex in an empty office at their university late at night when nobody was there. A security guard walked in not even ten minutes after they finished (and clothed themselves). They still laugh about it and said it was fun, though they acknowledge that they were lucky with timing. Before doing anything, look around to see who is or may be around. Like I said before, due to legalities and such, way out in the woods is about the only place I would personally recommend for this very reason.

Lucky for you, Oregon’s got over 30 million acres of forest to choose from. The Oregon government estimates 48 percent of the state is forest.

If you are into it, you might also try going way out into the desert, since 45 percent of Oregon (most of Eastern Oregon) is desert. I would be hesitant to suggest that though, sunburns and sand aren’t especially sexy in my humble opinion.

Second, when a friend of mine from Los Angeles was out in the hills one day, she was overcome by passion and had sex on a random tree stump in the foothills overlooking the city. She said it was a great and incredibly romantic time, but definitely not worth the poison oak she got all over her back, butt, arms and thighs.

Look around any place you are feeling frisky in and check out the foliage in that area. Bringing a large blan-

ket is a good way to preempt any possible plant problems.

Lastly and most seriously, pay attention to possible wildlife. As an addendum to this, be sober while paying attention to possible wildlife. Another friend of mine from Los Angeles thought it would be fun to smoke a ton of weed and then have sex with his girlfriend out in the woods near the Jet Propul-

sion Laboratories (I used to hike there fairly often, it is a lovely place). They were having a great time until they looked up and noticed a black bear sitting about 30 feet away from them. Nothing kills sexual arousal quite as quickly as raising your addled eyes to find a 500 pound bear staring at you from a stone’s throw away. Fortunately for my friend and his date, the

bear was apparently more curious than anything. It just sat and watched them as they quickly got dressed and briskly walked back to the car. Apparently it did follow them back to the parking lot.

So while the great outdoors can make the best fun even better, be extremely careful and aware if you decide to do that. Wishing you a fun and bear-free sex life.

RACHAEL BENTZ/PSU VANGUARD

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OUTDOOR GUIDE

Waterfalls that are not Multnomah Alex Moore

Latourell Falls near Portland, Oregon.

E

very Portlander has heard of Multnomah Falls; it’s the picture-perfect day hike for anyone who is looking to get away from the city and enjoy beautiful views without having to work too hard to climb to the top.

With that in mind, Multnomah Falls is also packed with tons of people on nice days, and is definitely not the only beautiful hike near Portland. One of the cooler aspects of this city is that we don’t have to drive far to see nature. So why limit yourself to one waterfall? Here are some waterfalls that aren’t as well known as Multnomah.

Oneonta Gorge Starting it off easy, the Oneonta Gorge hike is less than a two-mile loop and is not a difficult hike. The hike only climbs 400 feet of elevation, and is unique because there really isn’t a trail—instead you walk up the river.

The water is not very deep, but it can be up to three feet deep in places, so this hike is not for very small children.

But other than that, Oneonta Gorge is different from a lot of hikes around Portland and it all becomes worth it when you reach the final destination: the falls.

Ponytail Falls Once again, this hike is not difficult, but it is another sce-

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nic hike in the gorge with great views of falls. You don’t need to be an incredibly experienced hiker to enjoy Ponytail Falls. This hike also includes a great transition from the noise of the freeway to silence and then the noise of the waterfall. It’s a quick hike, as the entire route is less than a mile.

Once you get to Ponytail Falls, the trail goes right underneath the water where the rock has been eroded, creating a cavern. This hike is available year round, and it only elevates 360 feet, making it easy and family friendly.

Bridal Veil Falls This hike includes an absolutely beautiful view of the Bridal Veil Falls, which is among the best falls in the Portland area. This waterfall is over 100 feet in height and 30 feet in width.

Viewing these falls is not difficult, and it’s just over a half mile round trip. It’s also supposed to be visible from I-84.

These falls are much thicker than a lot of the waterfalls in the gorge, which makes for a larger volume of water thundering through the air.

Latourell Falls These falls are not visible from the freeway, but quickly become so after a short walk up the trail. Hikers can con-

©Wikipedia User Cacophony

tinue on a 2.4 mile roundtrip hike that includes views of multiple waterfalls. Unlike all the other hikes I have listed, this hike is a little more difficult, as it gets rocky in places. But it is completely worth it because the trails are loaded with viewpoints of

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the falls themselves, as well as the full range of Oregon’s natural beauty which is on display on this trek near the Historic Columbia River Highway.

In the summertime when the trees have their leaves, the hike loses some of its

secondary views of the waterfalls. But during the winter and fall the waterfalls can be seen from many different angles during this hike, making the whole trail very scenic.

There are a lot of hikes in the Portland area, and I was

only able to list a few of the many beautiful views of falling water we have not too far from our city. Multnomah Falls is spectacular and everyone should go, but there is so much more in this area; to ignore that would be an injustice.

OUTDOOR GUIDE

Get outside, Portland is your oyster Brie Barbee

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ortland State students should feel incredibly lucky to call the Pacific Northwest their home (or home to their university). The city of Portland is both beautiful and earth friendly. We recycle, have a myriad of local and sustainable food sources, are constantly riding our bikes, are shopping at farmers markets, and have wonderful locations for hiking and other outdoor activities.

Unfortunately, people in different parts of the country are quick to attribute Portland with rainy weather, and what person would want to go out and do things in the rain all the time? While one

could argue that people living in Portland eventually get used to the rain, in reality we don’t get nearly as much rain as people might think. So maybe it’s a good thing that more people aren’t in on our little secret.

While it does seem to rain considerably in the fall and spring, and we are prone to the occasional windy rainstorm, the East Coast is known to have substantially rainier weather than the Pacific Northwest.

According to livescience. com, the rainiest city in the United States is Mobile, Alabama. The website lists Mobile as having 60–65

inches of rainfall annually.

Portland, on the other hand, only gets 35–40 inches.

While some of the nonraining days of the year might include overcast clouds, Portlanders generally get to enjoy good weather spaced throughout the year. And with summer right around the corner, we can expect to have plenty of opportunities to enjoy the green and thriving environment that the area has to offer.

Spending time outside in Portland during the spring and summer can help you connect with the area. On top of that, being outside frequently can make you happier. Time spent

inside during the day, especially if you are in front of a computer all the time, has been linked with seasonal depression. Getting up and out of the house early in the day to hike, volunteer, go out to a farmer’s market, plant a garden, ride your bike or simply go for a walk can decrease depression and make you feel happier.

Feeling well and staying active is good for your overall health, but it can also really improve your ability to concentrate in school. While you may not want to think about school if you can avoid it, spending your time off doing things outside with friends can make the school work you

do less stressful. Fresh air, no matter how you get it, can rejuvenate your body and make you feel relaxed. You don’t have to put away your phone or computer and go on an all day hike in Forest Park, but it might do some good. You can connect with nature as much, or as little, as you wish. And that’s totally fine. But you can’t begin to feel the benefits of an active lifestyle if you don’t give it a try.

Going outside and enjoying everything the Pacific Northwest has to offer can be as simple as taking a walk around your neighborhood, or as in-depth as a daylong hike around Multnomah

Falls. Portland is a great city, with many different options for outdoor fun. But for those new to the area or who are convinced that it only rains in Portland, don’t let that get to you. There are plenty of cities with more rain than us—you just can’t let it prevent you from getting outside.

While it may rain occasionally, there are plenty of opportunities, especially in the next couple of months, to enjoy the nice weather. So get out there and do whatever outdoor activities suit your fancy. But it might be safe to bring an umbrella, just in case.

A group of students with the PSU Outdoor Program on a backpacking trip at the Opal Creek trails near Mt. Hood.

SHAYLEE KING/PSU VANGUARD

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

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OUTDOOR GUIDE

Urban grazing Where and how to forage for food in Portland

MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

Adam Wunische

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t’s pretty common in the Northwest to see a blackberry bush on the side of a bike trail in the city. A little less common, is using those bushes and hundreds of other edible plants and trees around the city to forage for your meals.

If living like our Paleolithic ancestors sounds fun, without all the saber-tooth tigers and short life expectancies, you can get your foraging kicks right here in Portland.

Need some snacks on the go? Grab some cherries on Southeast 13th Avenue and Taylor Street. Looking for something a little more tropical? Try some kiwis on Northeast 11th Avenue and Knott Street. Want to brew up some beer?

You can even pick up some hops on Southeast 14th Avenue and Salmon Street.

Before you go chow down on some dandelions though, you might want to do some research first. EdiblePortland.com lists different resources available in the area. These include books, websites and even a class called Urban Foraging 101.

One potential resource is a service called Wild Food Adventures, which provides a wide range of classes, expeditions, presentations, guides and outfitting. They seek to help people connect to the Earth and traditional ways of eating, and provide their services anywhere in North America.

John Kallas, director of Wild Food Adventures, has been

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publishing books on the subject of wild edibles since 1983.

Kallas has a doctorate in nutrition, a master’s in education and degrees in biology and zoology.

After you’ve done your research and think you can distinguish between the good stuff and the bad stuff, you can head to UrbanEdibles.org. Here you can search the edible plants, trees and bushes in your neighborhood with an interactive map.

At the Urban Edibles website, anyone can post locations of edibles they have stumbled across. In Northwest Portland for instance, you can find a rosemary bush, blackberries and a pear tree. On Portland State’s campus, between Fifth and Sixth Avenues on Mill Street, you’ll find a tasty fig tree.

Southeast Portland contains the most logged points, with everything from Asian pears to plums, and raspberries to walnuts. On Urban Edibles you can also search by your address and browse by category.

Even if foraging for food isn’t your thing, you can spend your time in search of herbal remedies. In Northeast Portland, there are 10 different locations listed for Ginkgo Biloba plants.

With benefits like eating locally to cut down on transportation emissions and consuming food that would otherwise go to waste, some groups in Portland are taking full advantage.

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Created in 2006, the Portland Fruit Tree Project works throughout the city to harvest and maintain fruit trees. In 2013 alone, the project donated over 20,000 pounds of fruit to families in need.

The Portland Fruit Tree Project has registered over 2,700 fruit trees in Portland and almost 2,000 more in the surrounding area. They host harvesting parties to collect their fruit, and volunteers help and learn how to live sustainably.

The volunteers are not there to just have fun, however. Fruit that doesn’t get donated goes home with the volunteers, 50 percent of whom are living on low income. The project’s list of awards includes the 2011 Oregon Urban and Community Forestry Award, the 2010 Innovators Award and the 2010 Light a Fire Award for best new nonprofit organization from Portland Monthly Magazine.

Along with the benefits and joy that can come with foraging through Portland, there is one warning that you should always keep in mind: Correctly identifying the plants, trees and bushes that are edible is your own responsibility.

Considering the dangers faced by the foragers that have come before you, at least you don’t have to worry about getting trampled by a wooly mammoth when you go foraging through Portland.

OUTDOOR GUIDE

A beginner’s guide to trout fishing in Oregon Matt Rauch

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veryone who lives in Oregon knows the state has no shortage of exciting and refreshing outdoor activities just waiting to entertain its residents.

Whether it’s hiking, boating, camping, disc golf, mountain biking or swimming, Oregon’s pristine forests, lakes and rivers provide an outdoor playground that is ripe for adventure. One adventure provided by Oregon’s luscious and bountiful landscape is something many locals have done at least once in their lives: fishing.

From the Columbia to the Willamette, from Detroit Lake to Lake Billy Chinook, there’s no shortage of fishing holes that not only provide family-friendly fun, but also an opportunity to put a delicious dinner on the table.

Depending on the fisherman or fisherwoman’s preference, there are a variety of freshwater fish just waiting to be caught, filleted and devoured.

Oregon’s waters hold salmon, steelhead, large and small mouth bass, blue gill, crappie, catfish, sturgeon, and the list can go on and on. According to the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife, there are over 60 species of native freshwater fish found in Oregon’s waterways.

With so many species of fish available, and hundreds of ways to go about catching them, where does the beginning angler start? For most people who’ve grown up fishing in Oregon, they usually start with trout, the most common and well stocked fish in the state.

Trout are the easiest fish to catch because Oregon’s lakes, rivers and streams are regularly stocked throughout the fishing season via a wide variety of trout hatcheries located throughout the state. Not only are trout abundant and frequently stocked, but they are also a delicious treat that can complement any dinner or barbecue.

Even though trout are plentiful, there are some requirements that must be met to legally fish for them.

Before someone decides to fish for trout in the state of Oregon, one must first purchase an Oregon angling license. These licenses can be purchased based on fishing location, trip duration and angler’s age. There are a variety of different options available and their cost varies depending on which one is needed.

Trout fishing licenses can be purchased directly through the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife via their website. They can also be purchased at most sporting goods stores like Cabela’s, Sportsman’s Warehouse, Dick’s Sporting Goods, Sports Authority, Bi-Mart and even Walmart. If the angler has fished before and knows what they need, purchasing directly from the website is probably the best route to go. Once purchased, you can print off a temporary license, if needed,

SHAYLEE KING/PSU VANGUARD

while waiting roughly 10 days for the official license to arrive in the mail.

However, if you have never fished for trout before and still need to buy the gear, figure out where you want to fish, and figure out what gear is needed to fish at your fish-

ing hole of choice, the best bet would probably be to head to your local sporting goods store for some expert advice.

Each store will have different levels of expertise, so choose carefully. The best place for advice would be somewhere like Sportsman’s Warehouse,

where the employees most likely spend their free time fishing. Not only will they be able to provide you with the best knowledge on where to fish, but also the best gear and techniques to catch as many fish as possible on your future fishing adventures.

CALLING ALL SPORTS ENTHUSIASTS THE VANGUARD IS LOOKING FOR Sports Writers Apply online @ psuvanguard.com

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OUTDOOR GUIDE

Getting there on public transit Ryan DeLaureal

Washington Park & Forest Park

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Washington Park, one of Portland’s most famous and well loved inner-city escapes, is accessible via the MAX blue and red line trains and the TriMet 63 bus line. Wherever you may be in the city, $5 will get you a TriMet day pass and access to Washington Park hiking trails and attractions such as Hoyt Arboretum, the Oregon Zoo, the International Rose Test Garden and the Portland Japanese Garden.

A quick trip west on the 20 bus line takes you down Burnside Street to the boundary between Washington Park and Forest Park, the former’s more rugged counterpart. At over 5,000 acres, and with 80 miles of hiking trails, Forest Park allows for

oing outside? Help cut CO2 emissions and avoid paying for gas by using public transportation! Whether you’re sick of your car breaking down, want to avoid dealing with traffic or just don’t have a car, public transit is there for you. This is your guide to getting outdoors by bus, shuttle and train.

Portland’s excellent public transit system provides multiple ways to enjoy the outdoor beauty of the Pacific Northwest. Whether you’re going to Forest Park, Mount Hood, the Pacific coast or to Washington state and beyond, there is likely to be a bus or shuttle to help you get there. Here are just a few.

Trimet Bus 20 route to Pittock Mansion.

an outdoor adventure without the necessity of ever leaving the limits of Portland. The 20 provides access to the Wildwood Trail, the backbone of Forest Park’s many hiking trails, the Hoyt Arboretum and Pittock Mansion. The 16 bus line takes you from downtown Portland to the outskirts of North Portland, providing access to the wild extremities of Forest Park.

Mt. Hood Looking for a bit more of an escape from the city? Pack your hiking gear and head to the mountains. The Mt. Hood Express is a bus line that goes east along Highway 26 from the Sandy Transit Center all the way up the slopes of Mt. Hood to the famous Timberline Lodge. It runs seven days a week, and the fare is $2 one way. The bus makes multiple stops along the way, including Mt. Hood Village, Rhododendron and Government Camp, providing excellent access to the many outdoor opportunities along scenic Highway 26. The Mt. Hood Express can be reached from Portland through Gresham and Sandy Area Metro, providing access to many hiking trails and outdoor activities east of Portland.

Trip guide: Take the MAX blue line east to Gresham Transit Center. Take the Sandy Area Metro-Gresham bus from Gresham Transit Center to Sandy Transit Center, and voila.

Wait for the Mt. Hood Express.

Astoria The Northwest Public Oregon Intercity Transit bus line runs seven days a week between Portland and Astoria on Highway 26, making multiple stops along the way. The bus provides access to Tillamook State Forest, including stops in small-town locations such as Manning and Elsie, before turning along the Pacific coast, with stops at Cannon Beach, Seaside, Gearhart, Warrenton and Astoria. The grand total fare from Portland to Astoria is $18, with lower rates offered for shorter distances inbetween. With twice-daily service and free Wi-Fi, this is one of the best bus services running from Portland with access to the great outdoors.

The Columbia Gorge Columbia Area Transit provides a bus service that runs between Portland, Hood River and The Dalles along Highway 30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a fare of $8. The limited service and limited stops of this route makes it better for longer trips into the wilderness of the Columbia Gorge, as the bus runs only once on service days, leaving Portland at 2 p.m. and arriving in The Dalles at 5 p.m.

Finding a Ride

ALEX HERNANDEZ/PSU VANGUARD

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In addition to public trains and buses, there are many private shuttle services which provide tours and access to Oregon’s outdoors for the happy Portlander. If you’re coming up short on TriMet or other public buses, you can also try Amtrak or Greyhound.

OUTDOOR GUIDE

The future is here, and it came by segway Jay Pengelly

Tour guide Kerissa Mott, Skip Magoney, Barb Magoney, Shawn Prowty, Nancy Prowty, Nick Blattener, Chris Blattener (left to right).

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ortland is a city with options for walking and biking tours, and in the last few years a new mode of transportation has become available: gliding.

Segways, once considered the wave of the future for casual transportation, are now associated with mall security and sprawling corporate campuses. But one can also book a guided Segway tour from any of the Portland tour companies which have sprung up recently.

There is Portland By Segway, Segway of Portland and Portland Segway Nation— all three of which offer a similar tour featuring historic and scenic features of the Rose City.

Geoff Karlavage, the owner of Portland By Segway, sees this area as a prime location to take advantage of.

“The Northwest is great with springtime, summertime, the changes in season,” Karlavage said. “There’s beautiful scenic views. I like how you can go on a great tour near the water, then go through PSU [and] see all the cool history.”

A typical tour for this company begins at Lovejoy Fountain in Southwest Portland, where a tour guide goes through a safe operations training session.

Common stops on the first half of a tour include Ira Keller Fountain Park, Chapman Square, Portlandia, the South Park Blocks and the Portland State campus. After a break at Starbucks or Rogue Ales, the tour continues going across the Hawthorne Bridge and then down the entire Eastbank

Christopher Sohler/PSU VANGUARD

Esplanade. Some special tours will explore deeper into Northwest Portland or up to Washington Park.

Leading these tours is not always easy. Kerissa Mott is entering her second summer as a Segway tour guide and often feels the eyes of the public on her group.

“The peanut gallery,” Mott said. “Pedestrians will scream obscenities if they think we’re going to crash. Bikers yell if we get into the bike lane.”

The perception of bicycle riders in Portland is not always a positive one. Cole Lalomia is a student mechanic at the PSU Bike Hub and considers himself a Portland biker.

“There’s a wide range of people who ride bikes, and there’s a percent of people that are rude—they exist,” Lalomia said. “It’s everything that people remember and it doesn’t give them a great image. I have encountered it.”

Lalomia has also encountered those congested areas where pedestrian, bike and other forms of transport get in each other’s way.

“If you know better, you stay away from the waterfront,” Lalomia said. “Trying to cross over the steel bridge with those double wide tour bikes, that’s probably the worst. I haven’t got stuck behind one Segway. They swarm, but they haven’t

been in the way too much. I don’t think there’s enough of them yet.”

Segways fall under the same classification as motorized wheelchairs, meaning they are required to stay on sidewalks and use crosswalks when operated in an urban setting. In some instances, like going across the Hawthorne Bridge, the bike lanes and pedestrian avenues are combined.

“Bikers are all about sharing the road, but just for them, not the other way,” Mott said.

Portland By Segway exclusively uses i2 model Segways, which offer more speed and turning capacity than the first

generation built in the early 2000s. They feature a “turtle mode” with a slower top speed for beginners.

Three common questions are asked of tour guides by both customers and gawkers: How much does a Segway cost? How fast do they go? How long does the battery last?

The answers come like second nature for an experienced guide like Mott.

“Six thousand dollars, 12 miles per hour, 26 miles on one charge depending on how heavy someone is or how fast you’re going.”

According to Mott, about 80 percent of current customers are from the Portland

Metro area. As we get into summer months, that number will shift to out-of-town tourists. Many tours begin at around $50 with longer tours costing more.

Segways, which are gyroscopically stabilized, offer speed comparable to a bicycle without the physical exertion. They are also a way to casually travel with friends.

“They are easy to use combined with their stealth mode. You can ride and talk without hearing a big motor drowning you out,” Karlavage said.

“To quote a 12-year-old, it’s a fantastic standing-up activity,” Mott said.

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

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OUTDOOR GUIDE

hunting: sport vs. slaughter The bright side

The dark side

Derek Sun

Breana Harris

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unting doesn’t initially seem like the ideal outdoor activity for those interested in keeping wild animals happy and alive. For environment-conscious Portlanders, hunting can appear a downright anathema at first glance.

A closer look, however, reveals that there are plenty of aspects of hunting that don’t conflict with a desire to maintain and protect nature, and hunting can even be helpful to many species.

The main objection some people have to hunting is that it unfairly kills animals in a cruel manner and is a disturbance that can lead to fluctuations and decreases in populations of animals. If the animals being hunted are an endangered species, then the fear is magnified.

Almost all hunting, however, is closely regulated by government wildlife agencies to ensure that hunters do not exceed the established number of animals that can be hunted each season. Zookeeper and animal expert Jack Hanna has stated that some of the world’s foremost conservationists and animal lovers are hunters, and that respect for nature and the health of animals is a quality shared by many hunters.

It is not enjoyable to watch animals die, but it is worth noting that animals are constantly being preyed upon by predators in the wild, and they may die due to natural disasters, lack of access to resources and countless other reasons.

The conditions of life faced by most animals are fundamentally dangerous, and human hunters are merely one of those dangers. Hunters, like animal predators, disease and natural catastrophes, act

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to reduce and cull populations of animals to prevent one species from growing uncontrollably and wiping out other species.

In essence, hunters function as a force for biodiversity, and as long as hunters keep the number of animals they hunt within sustainable limits, there are benefits for both animals and humans.

The appearance of hunting as a recent trend among hipsters, documented by Slate magazine in 2012, came as a tremendous shock to many, including myself. However hunting, after producing one’s own honey or eggs, is merely a natural progression in the road to self-sufficiency in food sustainability.

Almost all animals face the risk of predation, and most species rely on eating other animals to survive. Humans are not very different in this respect, and hunting allows us to understand the traditions

and standards of food consumption that many of our ancestors were familiar with.

Hunting has suffered a decline in popularity in recent years due to the lengthy procedures required to obtain hunting permits, the vanishing space suitable for hunting and public disapproval of hunting. However, the past era of hunting allowed more people to understand how prevalent scarcity of food was and how important appreciation of one’s food sources were.

The promotion of hunting corresponds to the desire and necessity to preserve more land so that animals remain abundant and hunting can continue. There are many ways in which hunting can be taken to extremes but in moderation, hunting can be just as effective as any other method of helping us value and care for the world we live in, if not more.

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ost of us are carnivores (well, omnivores hopefully) who consume meat that has been processed in factories. In Eric Schlosser’s famous book Fast Food Nation, he describes the ConAgra Beef Company in Greeley, Colorado, which permeates the entire town with the smell of steroid-injected cattle being slaughtered by workers who are up to their knees in blood all day long.

We’re a nation of animal killers, and it’s not surprising many people see hunting as a more honorable alternative to ground-up cow coming off an assembly line.

But when you’re talking about hunting as a sport, much of the issues raised have to do with access to weapons instead of the act of killing animals. I have no doubt the majority of hunters are responsible people, and I don’t agree with taking away everyone’s guns—I actually like guns. However,

there is a psychological aspect to the violence of hunting that may be genuinely bad for humanity and is almost always bad for children.

Just because we live in a violent, carnivorous culture doesn’t mean that we have to become numb to it or perpetuate that violence further.

Adam Lanza, the 20-yearold who murdered 20 children and six adults at Newtown Connecticut’s Sandy Hook Elementary in 2012, was taught to shoot by his mother, Nancy, who was among his victims. He was far from the first school shooter to have been taught gun violence by their parents. In fact, if you read PETA’s blog, you will find a myriad of examples of crimes committed by children who were taken hunting by their parents.

The Jonesboro school shooting of 1998 involved a 13-year-old and an 11-yearold who took their grand-

White-tailed deer hunted in Accomack, Virginia, with an Olympic Arms AR15.

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

Creative Commons Attributions to Matthew O’Brien

father’s hunting rifle, with which they were taught to stalk and kill animals, and killed four students and a teacher. An 18-year-old deer hunter in Pennsylvania shot his 14-year-old girlfriend’s parents in 2008. The incidents go on and on.

Hunting enthusiasts and NRA lobbyists are deeply offended by the insinuation that hunting has something to do with creating killers. But why is it more acceptable to blame movies and video games for society’s violent tendencies than the fact that children are being taught from a young age that killing a living thing and watching it die qualifies as a sport? Don’t we already know that most of the famous serial killers throughout history were cruel to animals as children? Psychologists will tell you that this is the sign of a disturbing mental problem in a child, and yet we accept the idea of giving this child a weapon and teaching them how to use it “responsibly.”

I know that infringing upon the rights of adults to hunt is a slippery slope and that not every person who hunts would ever harm a human being— I’m sure the vast majority wouldn’t. But if we are having a conversation about our violent culture, it seems ridiculous to ignore the fact that killing animals for fun can impact your psyche as easily as killing computer-generated humans in Call of Duty. And most hunters do not manifest after age 18. As PETA said in a letter to President Obama after Sandy Hook, condemning gun violence against humans but condoning it against animals sends “mixed messages.” We can worry about the hypocrisy of slaughter houses later.

OUTDOOR GUIDE

Identified Flying Objects An introduction to disc golf in Portland Jesse Tomaino

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isc golf, often called Frisbee golf or frolf (although that irritates some purists who are still holding a grudge against Wham-O) is just about the best time you can have outside with your clothes on. Since finding al fresco places to be amorous is (un)covered elsewhere in this here Vanguard Outdoor Guide, let’s keep our shorts on and talk about throwing stuff.

Those crazy things in your local park that look like a mutant hybrid of a barbecue grill and a miniature basketball hoop are, in fact, disc golf baskets. The array of chains hanging from the frame catches a thrown disc and deposits it into the basket, and just like that we’re playing golf!

But wait, isn’t golf all about wearing plaid shorts and smoking cigars while tooling around a gardener’s nightmare in a go-kart?

It can be. At its core, golf is about conquering geography, moving your ball (or disc) from the tee to the green and into the cup or basket. It’s also about being out in the sunshine enjoying nature with your friends.

Disc golf offers an experience that is analogous to traditional golf, but without the country club atmosphere or expense. The disc golf courses in the area are either free or require a daily fee of a few dollars. They range in setting from an easy stroll in a nicely manicured park to a serious hike up and down hills, fighting through underbrush while throwing over lakes and rivers.

Whatever style of scenery you prefer, there are dozens of courses within driving distance of Portland. In the city itself, Pier Park in North Portland is free and a relatively easy walk, and it has a minimum of ferns and other ground cover in which to lose an errant throw.

Just a few minutes from the Portland State campus on the property of the Greater Portland Bible Church is a 15-hole course known as Lunchtime, because of the ability to play a round there in about an hour. I can reliably report that a two-hour break between classes is plenty of time to get there, play and get back to campus on time.

There is a very well organized website called DGCourseReview.com that players can use to find other nearby courses. In addition to current course conditions, there are also detailed driving directions, reviews, photos and maps of the courses.

Portland is home to a very active disc golf community, with local clubs like Stumptown Disc Golf and Disc Golf or Die! taking a leadership role in maintaining the courses, helping to design and build new courses, and putting on tournaments.

The Professional Disc Golf Association is tournament disc golf’s governing body, and their sanctioned tournaments make up a big part of the local disc golf calendar. This summer, Portland will host the PDGA World Championships, which will attract all of the biggest tour-

SHAYLEE KING/PSU VANGUARD

ing pros—yes, there actually are people who make a living playing disc golf—as well as top local players.

The World Championships will be spread out over five of the area’s best courses. Pier Park, Milo McIver in Estacada, Troutdale’s Blue Lake Park, Trojan Park in Goble, and the newest area course at McCormick Park in St. Helens will play host to competitive disc golf at the highest level Aug. 9–16.

While new players won’t be ready to jump into competition at the World Championships, there are plenty of events aimed at beginners. The PDGA website maintains a calendar of upcoming sanctioned events,

but there are unsanctioned informal events as well.

4DiscGolf.com is a website that allows you to register online for upcoming tournaments. You can also get information about local events at any of the area stores that specialize in disc golf.

The newly opened Huk Lab store in the St. Johns neighborhood is right down the street from Pier Park, so it’s easy to swing by to grab a new driver or putter on your way to play a round. Disc Golf Depot on the east side of town has been catering exclusively to disc golfers for ages, and owner Jerry Miller is considered the godfather of Oregon disc golf. Disc Heroes in Gresham is another new

shop with a good selection, and Next Adventure is also a great place to buy plastic.

If you visit any of the above shops you will find someone who is willing to walk you through a selection process that can be intimidating to newcomers. There are hundreds of different discs out there and they all have fancy names, graphics and colors, as well as claims to be the “fastest and longest, the only disc you’ll ever need to buy!” Ignore the marketing and trust the people at the store.

It’s important to start with something that is relatively easy to throw, so you don’t get discouraged by trying to use a disc designed for an ex-

perienced player with a big arm. Try to find a putter and midrange disc that feel good in your hand, and trust your shopping Sherpa to pick a driver or two you’ll actually be able to throw.

Once you find a disc and get a couple of rounds under your belt out in the sunshine, I bet you’ll be hooked. It’s a quick spiral from there to watching throwing tutorials on YouTube and planning your vacations around favorite disc golf destinations.

Pro tip: Camping at Whistler’s Bend outside of Roseburg is on the yearly must-do list for every Oregon disc golfer. I’ll see you out on the course; throw them long and straight!

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ARTS & CULTURE

Lizzie Borden took an axe…

Jeoffry Ray

Lizzie Borden was acquitted of murdering her parents on June 20, 1893, but the Massachusetts debutante gained a reputation as an axe-wielding, murderous rocker—at least, that will be the telling of the tale performed by a group of actors and musicians in Portland later this month.

Styled as a rock-show retelling of the Borden legend, the production LIZZIE will run at the Pearl District’s Portland Center Stage, from May 24 to June 29. The production schedule will feature evening performances throughout the week, with additional Thursday and weekend matinees. The culmination of years of scripting, songwriting and editing by writers Steven Cheslic-deMeyer, Tim Maner and Alan Stevens Hewitt, the upcoming performance will feature New York-based actors directed by Portland’s own Rose Riordan.

The narrative follows the trial of Lizzie Borden, who was acquitted due to a lack of witnesses to the crime. Many theories have circulated about the truth behind the story, but the play asserts the narrative that Borden committed the murders. As Riordan pointed out, many at the time probably couldn’t imagine a Victorian-era woman being capable of committing an axe murder.

“The fashionable way for women to murder was poison,” she said. “The jury of her peers, which was twelve white men, possibly didn’t believe a woman could murder with an axe. So that could have been one reason she was acquitted. There’s a lot of questions about who could have gotten in, who would have done it. She was really one of the only likely suspects.”

Despite the fact that the play’s tone asserts Borden’s guilt, the majority of the tale is told through the facts of the case.

Much of the play centers around Borden’s trial, with direct dialogue adapted to song for the production.

“They stay pretty close to what is written in the record, there’s no other alternate theory presented,” Riordan said.

“There’s a part of the show where the girls are testifying, and their dialogue comes directly from the court transcripts. It’s kind of head-warping while you’re actually watching it. It’s really fun, but it’s also disconcerting.”

LIZZIE is most certainly a musical. Just about all of its dialogue is delivered lyrically. Yet it is anything but traditional, said Carrie Cimma, who portrays the Bordens’ maid, Bridget Sullivan. She pointed to the punk roots in the songwriting, which began with the script’s initial experimental writing in 1990.

“It’s almost totally immersed in music, the mood and everything,” she said. “The first number is so powerful that people think it’s pop rock music. But we sort of smack you in the head with it, it’s not like something you’ve seen before. Because the music is so dynamic, I think people catch onto that really quickly.”

“It’s an interesting hybrid,” Riordan said. “It definitely feels like a show, but it doesn’t feel like a traditional musical. We have some amazing musicians who are on stage with them. You think of Victorian women being barely able to breathe in their dresses, but then you watch them tearing up the stage.”

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Actress Carrie Cimma stars as Lizzie Borden’s maid, Bridget Sullivan.

JEOFFRY RAY/PSU VANGUARD

Viewers won’t hear much from Borden’s character onstage, who didn’t testify during her trial. But Cimma will perform an outgoing, punk-rock adaptation of the maid, who will also serve as a sort of narrator and go-between for the audience.

“She was a historical character, and was in fact a maid for the family,” Cimma said. “In this particular story, she’s in events that she’s where she isn’t supposed to be, sort of seeing, hearing and interacting with the audience. I always have my ear pressed to the door, I always know what’s going on with everyone, in every place.”

Cimma, who was nominated for the 2010 Drama Desk award for a previous portrayal of Bridget Sullivan in LIZZIE, noted that the musical closely matches an album produced for the play. But she pointed out that there are aspects to the live performance simply lost in the album. She also credited Riordan with bringing out the contrasts between the two formats.

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“There were far fewer scenic elements and narrative elements in the album,” Cimma said. “Here, [Riordan] has been really great about keeping the narrative a reality. Yes, there is a concept album that exists in the world. But in the day, this is the story of a person, a story that needs to be told and is worth listening to. This is really a story focusing on the why, and the people involved, and less about being a rock album.”

Riordan, in her 16th season at Portland Center Stage, has directed a number of performances for it and other theaters. She has become known for dark stagings similar to LIZZIE. She noted that her previous work prepared her for directing the upcoming musical.

“I think what attracts me about [Borden], and learning about that when I was younger, was thinking about how See LIZZIE on page 26

ARTS & CULTURE

Get your noodle on Boxer Ramen has really, really good ramen

Ryan DeLaureal

Three easy steps for your ramen enjoyment: Step 1: Go to Boxer Ramen.

Step 2: Order ramen at Boxer Ramen.

Step 3: Enjoy ramen.

These three steps, like Boxer Ramen itself—simple and straight forward—are guaranteed to brighten your typical rainy Portland day.

Boxer Ramen, a somewhat new restaurant on Southwest Stark Street between 10th and 11th Avenues, might be the best thing to happen to ramen since you stopped eating Top Ramen. The restaurant offers a grand total of four authentic ramens and an assortment of other menu offerings, including spicy, non-spicy and vegetarian options for the enjoyment of the ramen lover.

Ramen, like the taco, is a dish that achieves perfection in its simplicity. I have been to Boxer Ramen multiple times and have ordered nearly everything on the menu. The first item, a ramen called Tonkotsu-Shio, features a traditional pork broth served with roasted pork belly, soft poached egg, scallions and, of course, ramen wheat noodles. It is a delicious, feel-good dish imbued with roasted pork flavor and grounded by the excellent broth and hearty noodles.

The roasted pork belly complements the broth perfectly, and the dish is particularly excellent when served with a heaping helping of Sriracha chili sauce.

Another high point of the menu is the Shitake-Shoyu, a shitake mushroom-based ramen featuring a shitake

and pork-bone broth along with the aforementioned soft poached egg. Where the Tonkotsu-Shio is notable for its roasted flavor, the Shitake-Shoyu is a hearty, rich comfort food with an excellent broth and earthy mushroom undertones.

Boxer Ramen’s main vegetarian option, the vegetarian curry, is slightly less exceptional than its nonvegetarian friends, but is tasty nonetheless. Its flavorful yellow curry broth is made with vegetable stock and coconut milk, and the dish includes tofu, mushroom and corn. The slight sweetness of the tofu and corn offsets the almost overwhelming spice of the curry. While it is a good dish, the unfortunate overall lack of vegetarian ramen items on the menu, compared to the array of meateaters’ choices, may be disheartening to those on vegan and vegetarian diets.

Ramen is said to have originated in China, where the dish’s wheat noodles come from, but nobody knows for sure. Instant ramen was invented in 1958 by Momofuku Ando, a Japanese businessman who founded the Nissin Food Products Corporation.

Ramen’s instant versions, the broth of which is comprised mainly of water, salt, MSG and flavoring, approach nowhere near the richness and complex flavors of traditionally prepared ramen, like the kind found at Boxer Ramen.

The key to a successful ramen dish is an excellent broth. Tonkotsu, Shio and

Shoyu, from which some of Boxer Ramen’s menu names are taken, are three traditional types of Japanese ramen broth. The first refers to a broth made from slowcooking pork bones and other hearty things, which infuses the broth with a thick, milky consistency, giving it a deep and delicious pork flavor. Shio means salt and is another type of traditional broth, made with salt and various ingredients which may include chicken, vegetables, fish, seaweed or the occasional pork bones.

Shoyu means soy sauce and can be made with chicken, vegetable, beef or fish stock, and (of course) soy sauce. The items on the Boxer Ramen menu seem to be variations on these traditional styles of broth.

Boxer Ramen also offers delicious Japanese desserts like mochi. I’m told that mochi is a traditional Japanese rice cake, and that what I had at Boxer Ramen is actually mochi ice-cream, which is ice cream wrapped in mochi. It is something that has become popular worldwide, but I can’t be 100 percent sure. What I do know is that I really like mochi.

At $10 per ramen, $3 per mochi, and varying prices for drinks and appetizers, Boxer Ramen may be a tad bit pricey or exceptionally reasonable, depending on how broke you are. It’s a tiny bit pricier than your average food cart, but it is totally, most definitely worth it. It’s also cash only, so make sure to bring cash.

ALEX HERNANDEZ/PSU VANGUARD

Boxer Ramen boasts the best thing to happen to noodles since you stopped eating Top Ramen.

ALEX HERNANDEZ/PSU VANGUARD

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

25

ARTS & CULTURE

Portland Art Museum presents ‘Halcyon Days: The Camera in the Garden’ Hannah Griffith

This weekend I had the pleasure of visiting the Portland Art Museum. Walking around the museum never fails to fill me with positive energy. On this particular occasion I stepped off the elevator, rounded the corner and came face-to-face with one of the most powerful exhibits I have ever experienced.

Halcyon Days: The Camera in the Garden is a photography exhibit that captures unique moments through time.

I was paralyzed with awe the moment I walked in. The exhibit features photographs from the 1800s to the present day. Various photographers have reproduced the memories of lives that have come and gone through history. The exhibit began with mostly black-and-white photos and slowly progressed to color. I felt as though I were walking through time, catching microcosmic glimpses into the lives of random people.

The early works from the 20th and 21st centuries were captivating. My nose was practically touching the photographs’ protective glass as I reeled at our society’s progress. One piece that especially stood out to me was Wynn Bullock’s “Child in Forest, 1951.” Bullock is a critically acclaimed American photographer and has been categorized as one of the great master photographers of the 20th century.

This photograph of a young child lying naked in a forest struck me immediately. It was hauntingly beautiful. The way the photo

suggests youth and spirit put me in an almost euphoric state of mind. I suppose it could be because I fancy controversial art, and to me this pushed a societal boundary in a classic, beautiful way.

Throughout the exhibit I sensed a recurring, omnipresent theme that affected each photograph. Although the photos range from black-and-white to popping color, span multiple decades and alternate between portrait and landscape orientation, “youth” was the word that kept appearing in my head. I loved the gorgeous springtime nature shots and I admired the universal reaffirmation of life. Every picture expressed a feeling of vigor and adolescence, and inspired me to love life just a little bit more. I left feeling entranced, completely absorbed by what I had seen.

As I walked down the stairs through the other galleries, I couldn’t help but think of the faces I had just met and abandoned. I felt a true connection to this exhibit, and I knew anyone else would too. Halcyon Days: The Camera in the Garden encapsulates love, life and youth. No one should miss this incredible opportunity to travel through time.

You will unquestionably emerge feeling alive and exulted.

Halcyon Days: The Camera in the Garden runs through Aug. 10. Visit www.portlandartmuseum.org for times and tour information.

weekly missive

LIZZIE Continued from page 24 someone could do that to another human being,” Riordan said. “The music of rock and roll is kind of dark and very emotional. I thought it was the perfect pairing with the story. It’s sort of a perfect marriage.”

Riordan attributed her work to an interest in the darker side of human psychology. She noted that darker themes commonly run in popular media and that many people probably wondered what would drive others to commit crimes such as Borden’s.

“I think I do have a certain curiosity or interest in the darker aspects of human behavior,” she said.

“I think a lot of people do.

I think that it goes a lot deeper psychologically and that’s what attracts me to it.

26

I think most people are curious as to what would drive someone to do something that horrific.”

Cimma, no stranger to tours and performances throughout the country, had praise for both Riordan and the Portland Center Stage community. She credited the crew for producing everything, such as costuming and sets, specifically for this show. She also praised her fellow actors for their effort.

“I really enjoy working with [Riordan],” she said.

“She and I have a lot of similar vocabulary in terms of how we view this piece. The four of us really get on well as people that have to work together, as colleagues and friends, and we really click with [Riordan]. We really take the time to dig into what we want to dig into.”

So is LIZZIE for you?

Though Portland Center Stage warns that it is a production with violent and sexual themes, Cimma explained that the show appeals to just about everyone. The rock music is not watered down for mass appeal, according to Cimma, and viewers can expect a genuine experience.

But she also pointed to her parents as fans of the musical, and felt that older and younger people alike could have fun at the event.

“I think younger people will like it because it’s not just canned pop music,” she said.

“It’s real rock music. People in New York say it’s not a real musical, that it’s a different thing. I think it gets the story-telling side, and it gets the rock side too, and it really appeals to a big cross-section of people.”

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

ALEX HERNANDEZ/PSU VANGUARD

After three long years, KPSU Technical Director Tobin Tanner finally made our dream of being able to broadcast all over the city a reality.

“I am so stoked on this Blake,” Tanner nodded confidently. “I mean, really.”

This past Wednesday at Holocene, KPSU copresented a killer bill with Morning Ritual, Rio Grands and Mojave Bird (which, holy smokes, people were talking about). We’ve presented dope shows (’cause we’re all stars now) in the past, but this one was different. This one was broadcast all over the world on kpsu.org.

KPSU Promotions Director Gabe Granach arrived

By Blake Hickman Assistant Promotions Director

early because he knew this was important.

“I’m like Jordan, Blake,” Granach paused. “Only more clutch.”

Gabe got things working just right as I strolled down to the studio. I raised the fader on the broadcast booth (and labeled it “MBU” clearly, so as not to confuse people that we might have an alternate stream of Loveless going 24/7 titled “MBV”) and it sounded great. Once the bands started going, it sounded even better.

“I couldn’t believe how good it sounded, Blake,” KPSU Station Manager Keegan Meyer stated. “I was astounded, amazed, apoplectic, downright astonished, even.”

After wiping beads of sweat from his brow, Meyer continued, “I called everyone I know interpersonally and let them know that we were broadcasting from outside the subbasement for the first time.”

KPSU’s remote broadcast mojo will work tirelessly to bring you, the residents of Portland, live shows, live DJ sets and more, each and every month. In fact, come see us at Valentines (232 S.W. Ankeny St.) on May 31 for the next KPSU Social Hour, and we’ll be broadcasting sets live from there. It’s 21 and over, so only show up if you’re ready, willing and able to buy the best Gin Rickey in town.

EVENT CALENDAR Tuesday, May 20

From Cultural Revolution to Cultural Renaissance

Campus Red Open Forum

6 p.m.

Smith Memorial Student Union, room 327-8 1825 S.W. Broadway, Portland, OR 97201

5:30–6:30 p.m.

Academic and Student Rec Center, room 210 1800 S.W. 6th Ave., Portland, OR 97201 This open forum is a chance for students to make sure that their voices are heard.

Come prepared with feedback, questions, and/or concerns about campus rec and help to shape your Portland State experience. FREE

Wednesday, May 21 America the Beautiful 3 University Pointe at College Station 1955 S.W. 5th Ave., Portland, OR 97201 America the Beautiful 3 is a film by award-winning director Daryl Roberts, which investigates the messages of sexualization of youth and eating disorders in contemporary American society. A Q&A and panel discussion FREE will follow the film.

Hong Mautz, founder and president of Chinus Culture Productions, a Portland based company that strives to bridge the cultural divide through music, dance and performing arts, will give a personal account of growing up during the Cultural Revolution and the limited access to music, arts and culture of her generation, contrasted with the explosive cultural landscape that is shaping toFREE day’s China.

Thursday, May 22 Workin’ Hard for the Money 4 p.m.

Smith Memorial Student Union, room 236 1825 S.W. Broadway, Portland Do you have questions about the way that you get paid?

Do you want to know what your rights are as en employee when it comes to how and when you are paid? This workshop will answer any

and all of your questions about wage and hour laws in the state of Oregon. FREE

Museum by Moonlight 5:30–8:30 p.m.

World Forestry Center Discovery Museum 4033 S.W. Canyon Rd., Portland, OR 97221 You’re invited to a sneak preview of The Art of Dr. Seuss exhibit before it opens to the public. This rare glimpse into the artistic life of Theodor Seuss Geisel features rare and never-before-seen works from the 1920s to the 1990s.

Admission is $20 in advance, $25 at the door, and $15 for students with valid ID. This event is only for those who are 21+. To purchase tickets, visit www.tickettomato.com

Pankaj Jain: Cultures of Sustainability, Sustainability of Cultures 4 p.m.

Urban Center, Parson’s Gallery 506 S.W. Mill St., Portland, OR 97201 The Religion, Secularism and Political Belonging Project at the Portland Center for Public Humanities presents Dr. Pankaj Jain, assistant professor of anthropology and phi-

losophy and religion studies at the University of North Texas and author of Dharma and Ecology of Hindu Communities: Sustenance and Sustainability, for a discussion centered around the idea of the reverence of the environment versus economic demands on culture.

Friday, May 23 The Arab Spring and Syria: Why Has it Gone So Wrong?

1 p.m.

Smith Memorial Student Union, room 236 1825 S.W. Broadway, Portland, OR 97201 Dr. Joshua Landis, director of the Center for Middle East Studies and associate professor at the University of Oklahoma’s College of International Studies, will discuss the rise of ethnic and religious identities in the Levant states following WWI, in an effort to explain how Syria fits into a larger model of nation building in post-imperial lands. He will discuss possible outcomes of the Syrian struggle and consider how they may impact the states of the region. FREE

Body Respect: Kicking the Diet Habit and Moving On 3–5 p.m.

Smith Memorial Student Union, Multicultural Center (228) 1825 S.W. Broadway, Portland, OR 97201 Dr. Linda Bacon will be offering a seminar in which she debunks traditionally held myths about the relationship between weight and health, easing concerns that dieting or controlling your eating are necessary or valuable for a healthy or desirable body, and arming you with the knowledge, resources and confidence to combat the weight myths and stigma, and regain a trusting relationship with your body. FREE

Monday, May 26 Bicycle Maintenance 101 Noon–1 p.m.

PSU Bike Hub 1818 S.W. 6th Ave., Portland, OR 97201 The PSU Bike Hub will be offering a free workshop which covers all of the basics that are needed to properly main-

ETC

tain your bicycle, including demonstrations on proper methods of lubricating your drivetrain, adjusting your brakes, properly maintaining your tires and all of the other tricks to keep you rolling around town. You are free to bring your own bicycle if you have specific questions about it. FREE

Tuesday, May 27 Nelson Mandela Retrospective 9:30 a.m.

Native American Student and Community Center 710 S.W. Jackson St., Portland, OR 97201 The Black Studies Department invites you to join them for an event that looks back on the life of Nelson Mandela.

Enjoy workshops on social justice and other important topics as well as a free lunch.

FREE

FREE

21+

FEATURED EVENT

PSU FREE OPEN TO PUBLIC 21 & OVER

THE VANGARDE

BRENDAN MULLIGAN/PSU VANGUARD

Film screening: ‘Heathers’ 7 p.m. Thursday, May 22 5th Avenue Cinema 510 S.W. Hall St., Portland, OR 97201 Join the Northwest Film Center’s School of Film for a screening of a movie that can be considered the original Mean Girls. The screening is free and open to the public and light refreshments will be provided. FREE

©NEW WORLD PICTURES

ASPSU elections are going on until Friday.

Go online and vote at elections.aspsu.pdx.edu

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

27

ETC

Gemini May 21–Jun. 20

Leo Jul. 23–Aug. 22

Let’s face it. More than half the time you’re surrounded by idiots.

Take a deep breath, and don’t let people get under your skin no matter how hard they try. Your blood pressure will thank you later.

Nobody wants to hear your BS, Leo. Instead of acting like a lion, you’re sounding more like a whiny kitten. If you want to keep your pride and your integrity, it’s recommended you pipe down until you really have something to roar about.

Besides, nobody wants to see you run off with your tail between your legs.

Cancer Jun. 21–Jul. 22

It’s safe to say you’re probably feeling like you’re in deep water, Cancer. But if you keep dog paddlin’ and keep those legs kickin’ you’ll come across dry land. Just try to keep your head above water.

Hope is on the horizon!

Virgo Aug. 23–Sept. 22

Juggling all the things life throws your way can be hard to handle, but sometimes the best course of action is to say “fuck it� and let the balls drop. Take ad-

vantage of your free hands to reach for a cold beer. Responsibility can wait!

to-dos and undones—just take a moment to breathe and realign.

Libra Sept. 23–Oct. 22

Sagittarius Nov. 22–Dec. 21

Whenever someone says it can’t be done, you go out of your way to prove that it can. Don’t let your stubborn arrogance come back to bite you in the ass, Libra; do what needs to be done and move on without making a show of it.

Scorpio Oct. 23–Nov. 21

28

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Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

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Your unique point of view will serve you well this week, Aquarius. Think outside the box, and you may be the one who stands out from the crowd by solving an important problem. You can do it!

With the change in weather, you’re feeling quite adventurous this week. Well take advantage of that spontaneous spirit!

Grab some friends and take a mini road trip. You deserve it!

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Taurus Apr. 20–May 20

Letting go of the past is much easier said than done, but you should be cognizant of how such holding on might be affecting someone close to you. The past is behind you for a reason, so move on.

Mistakes are mistakes and can easily be forgiven, but be wary of crossing the line into carelessness. You’re The New York Times Syndication Sales Corporation not done yet,The Capricorn, soTimes New York Syndication Sales 620 Eighth Avenue, New York, N.Y.Corporation 10018 620 Eighth Avenue,Call: New1-800-972-3550 York, N.Y. 10018 stay on top of your game.

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SPORTS

Timbers excite, but don’t play up to expectations Alex Moore

The Portland Timbers certainly don’t ever bore their fans. Instead, Timbers fans have gone through the full gamut of emotions.

This season has been exciting, even if the Timbers have only won one game, and that excitement shined through Providence Park last week when Portland scored in extra time to tie the Los Angeles Galaxy.

Of course, the only reason the Timbers had to tie that game was because just minutes before Portland allowed a long throw-in to get into the box. It was easily headed straight into the back of the net by Galaxy forward Robbie Keane.

Providence Park went quiet, only to explode minutes later when Diego Valeri scored the game-tying goal.

This game was very representative of the Timbers’ season, which has been full of performances that have been nothing special as far as the standings go, but incredibly exciting, especially during anytime past the 80th minute.

Unfortunately for Portland, this kind of heartstopping, late-goal scoring soccer won’t get them into the playoffs unless it concludes in three points at the end of the day instead of one. Even with that said, I’m sure some who follow the team closely would agree with me when I say that it would be nice for them to get a 2–0 or even a 3–0 win, with goals early and often. That way no one would have to pop out the antacids mid-game.

More important than singular wins for Portland’s

playoff hopes, will be consistently putting points on the table. The season is still in its early stages but with only one win in all the games the Timbers have played, their spot in the standings has suffered, and their chance of getting the amount of points necessary to make the playoffs has slowly decreased.

In spite of all of this, if there is one thing this Portland Timbers team does, it’s fight. And that is evident with their late game heroics.

Portland won’t back down from any team or any challenge. They play to the last whistle, with their best play often coming right before that whistle.

Portland is hoping that hard work will eventually pay off, especially if they play as well at the beginning of games as they do at the end.

SCORES

UPCOMING

PSU TRACK AND FIELD

PSU Golf

Big Sky Outdoor Championships

NCAA Championship Tues.–Fri. 5/20-5/23 Tulsa Country Club | Tulsa, OK

Big Sky Champions: Sarah Dean–1,500m Jazmin Ratcliff–100m Hurdles Baileh Simms–Long Jump Jazmin Ratcliff, Genna Settle, Baileh Simms, Jasmine Woods– 4x100m Relay PSU athletes Top Performers: CeCelia Jackson won the 100m hurdles, 13.95 seconds.

PSU Track and Field

NCAA West Preliminary Thur.–Sat. 5/29-5/31 | Fayetteville, AR MLS

Portland @ New York

PSU Spring Football

What is not going well for the Timbers isn’t that they are losing. Both the Timbers and the conferenceleading Sounders have the same amount of losses going into the week. The problem is that the Timbers aren’t winning.

Portland plays the New York Red Bulls Saturday to start a two game road trip, which continues on May 28 against Chivas USA. If the Timbers can string a couple of wins together on the road, it could potentially set up a very meaningful game against the Vancouver Whitecaps at home on June 1.

Winning on the road in two tough environments will be difficult for the Timbers, but with their start to the season, it’ll be necessary to get back into the playoff race.

PSU Green PSU White

Top Performers: Thomas Carter with 5 catches for 123 yards.

7 10

SAT. 5/24 4:00 p.m. | Root Sports AFL

Portland vs. San Antonio THUR. 5/22 7:00 p.m. | Moda Center

NBA Western Conference Semifinals

Portland San Antonio

Top Performers: LaMarcus Aldridge with 21 points and 10 rebounds.

82 104

MLS

Columbus Portland

Top Performers: Gaston Fernandez with the tying goal in the 85th minute.

3 3

AFL

Portland San Jose

Top Performers: Eric Rogers with 10 catches for 104 yards and 2 touchdowns.

27 64

DIEgo Valeri lines it up at Providence Park.

Out of 15 PSU athletic programs that are in good standing according to the NCAA Academic Progress Rate report.

Miles Sanguinetti/PSU VANGUARD

Vanguard | MAY 20, 2014 | psuvanguard.com

29

SPORTS

Looking back at the Blazers’ season A collage of memories, the poster of determination

Joel Gunderson

As the season drew to a late and ultimately merciful end, nostalgia rolled through the city as fans folded their Rip City shirts and tucked them away until a later date.

Along with the shirts, they are also putting away memories of a season that brought about unfathomable successes, unforgettable moments, and ultimately, an unmistakeable path toward the future.

The season may have ended abruptly in the cold San Antonio winds, but a calmness resided in the Blazers’ locker room. For a young squad that was pegged as a fringe playoff team at best, their magical ride to the second round came seemingly out

of nowhere—unless you ask the players responsible, who have never wavered in their belief that they belonged.

In the locker room, Jason Quick of The Oregonian showed the players a picture he snapped during the fourth quarter last night, a poignant visual that demonstrates where this team is at despite elimination.

All five starters sat together as the season drifted away, never leaving each other’s side.

Upon seeing the picture, they held their heads high, proud of the fact that not once did they flinch, even under the tidal wave of plays by the Spurs.

“That was, hey man, if we are going to go down, we are

not going to just lay down,” Damian Lillard said. “We are going to finish the right way… we are going to finish it out like a true competitor.”

The seeds of success have been planted for the organization; the wins just sprouted sooner than expected.

Built for the future When training camp began in October, and preseason projections began rolling out, it was not uncommon to see the Blazers picked near the bottom of the West, a fringe playoff team at best, yet presumably a year away.

Twenty-nine games into the season, and all the predic-

Damian Lillard displayed effort and determination all season.

tions had been blown out of the water.

They were 25–4, playing with a fire and attitude that had not been seen in these parts for some time. They approached every game as if it were their last, and in the process took down some of the elite teams. The Pacers, Thunder and Spurs, to name a few, all fell victim to the Blazers’ unrelenting style and 3-point barrages.

They played loose, hard and without fear. They were too naive to know any better. They shot without a care, passed as if no one were in their way, and never backed down even in the final seconds. They played like hunters, taking down unsuspecting prey one by one.

In the process, they saw two men rise above, showing the rest of the league that Portland was no longer a side show. They were legit contenders.

Two men, one weekend

©Flickr user Nikk_La

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It will eventually be a footnote, nothing more than a memory. But in the heart of Mardi Gras, Lillard and Lamarcus Aldridge, the faces of a franchise so desperate for an identity, took center stage at All-Star weekend and represented the Blazers as no one else could.

While Aldridge, in his third appearance, took the time to relax, Lillard took his profile and his brand to new heights.

Competing in five events throughout the weekend, Lillard was the talk of the town and ultimately helped push Portland into people’s consciousness.

He made it cool to be a Blazers fan again.

When Lillard and Aldridge walked through the tunnel that Sunday, taking their place next to the best the game has to offer, you knew instantly that something special was being built, perhaps sooner than later.

Rocky middle, sterling end As is expected from a young, inexperienced team, struggles abounded as the season drew to a close, hitting bottom after a loss to the lowly Magic in March.

Hit by injuries to Aldridge— who had established himself early on as a legit MVP candidate—the Blazers lacked an identity, a five-cylinder machine running on four.

They never turned on each other, not even in the darkest moments, signaling to all that they have something different inside them.

When Aldridge returned and order was restored, they finished the season strong, notching 54 wins and a fifth seed in the West—a far cry from where the so-called experts predicted they would be.

What awaited them was a match-up with the Houston Rockets, a rematch of the 2008 playoffs.

Both times Portland entered off a surprising season as a young, likable squad with 54 wins.

This time, however, things would be much different.

A stepping stone When Brandon Roy and Co. took the town by storm in 2008, there was a sense that things were just starting to take off. They had a young center in Greg Oden that had yet to scratch the surface, an All-Star in Roy and a building

block in Aldridge. They had shooters in Martell Webster, Steve Blake and Travis Outlaw.

They had a tough-as-nails enforcer in Joel Pryzbilla, and they had a young, energetic coach in Nate McMillan.

What they didn’t have was a taste of success. And after three straight one-and-done seasons combined with devastating injuries, it was blown up, a promising future ushered out the door.

This year, the same was feared. The Rockets were viewed as a match-up nightmare, with Dwight Howard and James Harden figuring to get the lion’s share of calls and breaks.

They did. Only this time, this team, this togetherness was different.

Portland never wavered, stealing the first two games in Houston and finally setting up a Game 6 in Portland, their first trip to the second round in 14 years was just one win away.

0.9 for a decade Every franchise has a moment, a memory that fans can look back on for generations. On May 2, Lillard etched his place in history, hitting the shot that propelled the Blazers past their demons.

You know the story. Ask anyone what 0.9 means and in all likelihood they’ll tell you they were there.

Whether Lillard’s shot ultimately propels them to greatness won’t be known for a long time, possibly years. But what it did for this team, this town, cannot be debated. For the first time in what feels like forever, there is now a feeling that Portland belongs.

There is, finally, a belief that something good can hap-

SPORTS

Another new face on the sidelines Women's basketball has a lot to look forward to this coming season Tobin Shields

Jennifer Mountain hopes to bring a holistic approach to developing basketball talent at PSU. ©Santa Clara Athletics

pen for a franchise so often snake-bitten.

Down, but a lesson taught With the second round came a date with a buzzsaw. The San Antonio Spurs, model NBA franchise, outclassed Portland on the floor in every way the last five games. It was never close, the veteran Spurs making a mockery of any Blazer run.

And it may be the best thing that could have happened.

When the picture was snapped by Quick, there were but eight minutes left in the season. There were no more last ditch hopes at a

comeback. The players and coaches knew it was over.

And yet there they sat, together, just as they did in October when no one thought they had a chance. They waited and watched, and hopefully let the moment sink in. For the lessons that San Antonio taught should be the driving force for an offseason that will go down as perhaps the most important in franchise history.

They’re close, yet far away What’s different is the players know what it’s like to surpass their goals, yet they still have plenty left to prove.

Just recently, Portland State excitedly welcomed new assistant women’s basketball coach Jennifer Mountain into the athletics department.

“Hands down I’ve found the best person and coach for this program,” head coach Sherri Murrell said in regards to hiring Mountain. “I have known Jennifer for a very long time and her character, class and integrity is second to none.

Her experienced background in coaching will help us immediately. She cares about the student-athlete’s growth both on and off the court and I can’t wait for her to help our players excel.”

Prior to taking on her position at PSU, Mountain spent six seasons as the head coach for the Santa Clara Broncos in California. During her time there, she improved her team’s win total, and acquired both local and national attention for her commitment to making sure that each of her

players are successful both on and off the court. She stresses student academic success, and even encourages her team to engage in community service.

“I share in coach Murrell’s vision in developing the entire student-athlete,” Mountain said. “Academic success is critical for our athletes. They must succeed in the classroom and we will focus on developing great relationships with the community surrounding us. I also believe that if you are happy and have great life balance you tend to get more from your athletes.

This is a way to share in the whole person and not just on the court.”

Not only does Mountain have a strong track record of raising her team’s grades, but their point totals as well. During her time at Santa Clara, her players earned three All-WCC Freshman Team selections, two All-WCC First Team selections, five WCC Honorable Mention selections, seven WCC All-Academic selections,

and three 1,000-point seasons.

During her time as assistant coach at Gonzaga University, she raised the team’s 2–12 WCC record to an impressive 140–70 overall record and a league mark of 72–40.

Prior to her work as a coach, Mountain played for Gonzaga University and scored a total of 1,422 points during her time playing college ball.

She ranked in the top ten in school history for career field goals made, 3-point goals made, free throws made, assists and steals. While she may have gone to school up in Spokane, Mountain is a Portland native.

“I am really excited about joining this talented staff and becoming a part of a great future here at Portland State,” Mountain said. “I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to come home, be close to my family and work with such great student-athletes. This is a great fit for me at this time in my life and I am really looking forward to this opportunity.”

The Vanguard asked Mountain how she felt about next season’s team. She said, “This is a special group of young women, who have a great foundation built. Now we need to elevate our program by working extremely hard in the off-season and developing individually.”

In the two weeks that she has been working with the team, she feels that there is already a difference. She said, “[The players’] workouts have changed and we are focused on developing great relationships with the team. I believe this is the foundation for our success: relationships.”

Not only does Mountain want to help build a strong team dynamic, but also their chances at getting back into the NCAA tournament. “It is a good time to be a Viking,” she said, “and I think the fans, athletic department and the community will enjoy watching this team play next season.”

The powers that be see what’s missing: A better bench and a lock-down defender.

Terry Stotts sees what he did wrong, and when he did it.

They can see all of this starting now, as the off-season begins anew. But for the moment, they need to be applauded for the gift they gave fans on a nightly basis.

They gave us hope, and they gave us a promise of better things to come. A year full of memories to put on the wall, highlighted by 0.9.

Fans get to enjoy it for what it was. Now the players get to go back to work, knowing full well they are capable of greatness.

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