Portland State Vanguard

NEWS OPINION ARTS & CULTURE INTERNATIONAL

STUDENTS RALLY AGAINST ARMED FORCES P. 4 DON’T ALWAYS TRUST THE NEWS P. 6 THE TROUBLE WITH COMING OUTP. 20 “EL CHAPO” COZIES UP WITH DEA P. 23

VOLUME 70 | ISSUE 12| OCTOBER 27, 2015

Where students love living.

CONTENT NEWS OPINION WEIRD GUIDE CALENDAR ARTS & CULTURE INTERNATIONAL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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EDITOR@PSUVANGUARD.COM Turner Lobey

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Featured Events OCT. 27

#PSUTweetUp + Strategic Ice Cream II Pizza, ice cream, entertainment. Share your thoughts on PSU’s strategic plan.

Noon–2 PM, Urban Plaza

OCT. 28

Van Jones: Environmental Justice for All CNN commentator speaks on social justice and the green economy.

7–9 PM, Peter Stott Center

ADVERTISING SALES Eva Spencer Becca Propper Dennis Caceres

An article in the Oct. 20 Vanguard issue inaccurately credited Melissa Bennett, program coordinator for the Native American Student and Community Center with a grant application. The grant application should be credited to Elena Avilés, professor of Chicano/a-Latino Studies.

Football Game: PSU vs. Montana 2:05–5 PM, Providence Park

Jaime Dunkle Miles Sanguinetti

Corrections:

ONLINE@PSUVANGUARD.COM Jaime Dunkle

OCT. 31

PHOTOGRAPHERS

COPY@PSUVANGUARD.COM Molly K.B. Hunt

Homecoming Tailgate 12:30–2 PM, The Cheerful Bullpen

Brie Barbee, Ellie Bradley, Jacqueline C. Bryan, Yuni Choi, Allie Clark, Nimi Einstein, Catherine Johnson, John Pinney, Sebastian Richardson, Miles Sanguinetti, Kayla Townsley

COPY CHIEF

ONLINE EDITOR

OCT. 31

DESIGNERS

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Victor’s Pep Rally Food and fanfare with Victor E. Viking.

Noon–1 PM, Peter Stott Center

Ann Roman

INTERNATIONAL EDITOR

ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR

OCT. 30

ADVERTISING ADVISER

OPINION@PSUVANGUARD.COM Chelsea Lobey

INTERNATIONAL@PSUVANGUARD.COM Molly Ozier

Homecoming Football: PSU Vikings vs. Montana Grizzlies

ADVISER

Terra DeHart Nimi Einstein Elise Furlan Rachel Goldstein Shannon Kidd

OPINION EDITOR

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The Vanguard is published weekly as an independent student newspaper governed by the PSU Student Media Board. Views and editorial content expressed herein are those of the staff, contributors and readers and do not necessarily represent those of the PSU student body, faculty, staff or administration. One copy of the Vanguard is provided free of charge to all community members; additional copies or subscription issues may incur a 25 cent charge.

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ILLUSTRATION BY ELISE FURLAN

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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NEWS

#DISARMPSU RALLIES IN A PHOTO ESSAY RECAP OF THE OCT. 21 DEMONSTRATION

JAIME DUNKLE

A PSU STUDENT UNION AND DEMILITARIZE PSU SUPPORTER paints a sign before the rally in the PSUSU Green Space office, Oct. 21, 2015. The rally’s focus was to “further protest the armament of campus security,” according to the official PSUSU and Demilitarize PSU press release.

MORE SUPPORTERS ARRIVE to the #DisarmPSU rally in the Park Blocks at Portland State, Oct. 21, 2015. The rally began at 1:30 p.m. and moved to the second floor of the Smith Memorial Student Union where PSU President Wim Wiewel held office hours. When President Wiewel left, some protesters gathered in the lobby of the Market Center Building.

KATE STUBBLEFIELD APPROACHES PHILLIP ZERZAN, chief of Portland State Campus Public Safety, outside the White Gallery on the second floor of Smith Memorial Student Union during the Oct. 21 rally. Stubblefield, a PSU Student Union member, and other #DisarmPSU supporters confronted Zerzan after PSU President Wim Wiewel left his office hours in SMSU, room 294. #DisarmPSU entered the room as a group without being called to turn. President Wiewel exited and told those outside that he’s also concerned with other challenging issues, such as emergency preparedness. “I look forward to those discussions,” President Wiewel said. He departed soon after.

and

fresh...

OLIVIA PACE SITS OPPOSITE PORTLAND STATE PRESIDENT WIM WIEWEL with other #DisarmPSU supporters in Smith Memorial Student Union, room 294. Pace and her group split from the main rally in the Park Blocks to sign up for President Wiewel’s office hours, which only allowed small groups of four to five people in at a time. The group in the park moved upstairs to the hall outside of SMSU 294. The rally on Oct. 21, 2015, was 30 days after (Sept. 21, 2015) members of the #DisarmPSU movement interrupted President Wiewel during the incoming freshmen convocation.

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

PHOTOS: JAIME DUNKLE/PSU VANGUARD

PARK BLOCKS Demonstrators protested armed campus officers at a #DisarmPSU rally in the Park Blocks at Portland State on Oct. 21.

PSU Student Union and Demilitarize PSU led the assembly at 1:30 p.m. PSU Student Union and Demilitarize PSU led the assembly at 1:30 p.m. The group of approximately 50 protesters moved to the second floor of the Smith MemorialStudentUnionataround2p.m., then a smaller group occupied the lobby of the Market Center Building around 3 p.m.

The purpose was to “further protest the armament of campus security,” according to the official PSUSU and Demilitarize PSU press release.

Olivia Pace, a PSUSU member and organizer, said PSUSU members feel ignored by campus administration.

She also said she believes administrators strategically make it hard for students to engage with them.

“This term, we’ve grown our base and upped our tactics,” Pace said. “We’re just trying to communicate that we’re not going to compromise on this.”

PSU President Wim Wiewel held office hours on the afternoon of the rally in Smith Memorial Student Union, room 294, at 2 p.m. He only allowed formally signed-in groups of four or five to enter at a time.

The rally in the Park Blocks moved to the second floor of SMSU near room 294, where #DisarmPSU speakers such as Alyssa Pagan, member of PSUSU, raised concerns about racial profiling. Pagan told supporters to make themselves visible to President Wiewel.

Demonstrators interrupted the meeting between President Wiewel and fellow supporters.

President Wiewel addressed the crowded hall before he left, emphasizing issues related to emergency preparedness.

President Wiewel discussed campus security enhancements, the PSU alert system and concerns about racial profiling with the Vanguard in the Oct. 9 press conference.

“It’s totally valid for people around the United States to have concerns about the issues of police treatment around mi-

CRIME BLOTTER

ELLIE BRADLEY

Oct. 19

Oct. 20

SUSPICIOUS PERSON

GRAFFITI

Officer Chris Fischer took a report of an unknown white male, scraggly brown hair, dark clothes, skinny, with a bike following a student from Shattuck Hall into the elevator at PS1. Inside the elevator the male tried talking with the student. When the student arrived on the fourth floor, she ran to her car and upon getting there, the male jumped out from behind a wall and walked toward her car. She avoided him by driving away.

Officer Gary Smeltzer took a report of graffiti discovered in the gender-neutral restroom on the SMSU fourth floor. This graffiti is the latest example of the “Arm Trans Women,” “Arm the Poor” and “Kill the Kops” tags that have been documented twice in this same restroom and once in a women’s restroom in the Art Building.

Parking Structure I

Oct. 21 COERCION, MENACING

Officers Brian Rominger Fischer took a report from students who claimed that unidentified men menaced

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OCT. 19–OCT. 23

Smith Memorial Student Union

Motel on 6th Ave

norities,” Wiewel said. “I know you’d have to be crazy not to see that there have been very serious issues around the country.”

“So for people to call attention to that, to express concern and their desire to make sure that none of those kinds of things ever happen at [PSU] or in Portland is a totally valid opinion,” he continued.

John Monroe, a PSUSU member, helped organize the event.

Monroe said the most pressing matter addressed at the rally was the question of police and race.

“Right now we’ve got the largest, most diverse incoming freshman class in PSU’s history, and suddenly the cops have guns,” Monroe said. “And those of us in PSUSU don’t see those as disconnected.”

After President Wiewel left, #DisarmPSU confronted Phillip Zerzan, chief of PSU Campus Public Safety, as he stood in the hall on the second floor of SMSU. Other demonstrators went to the Market Center Building, where President Wiewel’s office is located, according to a reporter from the Rearguard.

They rallied in the lobby before dispersing.

NEWS

and two two one

of the students, telling him he was going to be shot if he tried to run from them. The men were later identified and the Portland Police Bureau was contacted at the 6th Ave. motel. One of the men was arrested for menacing and coercion.

Oct. 21 WARRANT ARREST

Blackstone Residence Hall

Officers Denae Murphy and James Dewey contacted and subsequently arrested a nonstudent/non-resident found drinking in the fire escape of Blackstone with another nonstudent/non-resident. Both were drinking Mike’s Hard Lemonade and one was found to have a warrant for PCS-Heroin, but was not in possession at the time. The

man with the warrant was excluded and arrested.

Oct. 22 SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR, SUSPECTED THEFT Market SMSU

Officer Peter Stuart Ward responded to a report of suspected theft of a lighter by a an unknown male in his forties. The employee at the market saw the male appear to take a lighter from a stand, but was unable to confirm if a lighter had been taken, as there had been no counting of the lighters when the store opened.

Oct. 23 WARRANT ARREST, POSSESSION OF METH 12th and Montgomery

Officer McKenzie recognized past car prowlers on SW Hall and 6th.

Officers Matthew Masunari and McKenzie caught up with the suspects at 12th and Montgomery. The suspects were later identified; one of the men was found to have two warrants out of Lewis County, WA, and after a search, a baggie of methamphetamines was found on his person. One of the men was issued an exclusion and the other was released.

Oct. 23 CRIMINAL MISCHIEF III

Parking Structure III

Officer Masunari took a report from a student who had taken their car to a mechanic after trouble with the turn signal.

The mechanic told the student that someone had cut the wires to the turn signals.

Oct. 23 WARRANT ARREST

West of Stott

Officer Matthew Masunari contacted two sleepers who dragged a futon couch onto the west side of Stott. After a brief investigation, one of the sleepers was found to have a warrant out of Multnomah County and was arrested. Both were issued exclusions.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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OPINION

SPOTTING BULLSHIT IN SCIENCE NEWS: A HOW-TO Science for Everyone

by Allie Clark

A week or so ago a news story came out about a new study, which found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to be psychopaths. Unsurprisingly, it went viral. But within a day the study had been debunked.

It’s not that drinking black coffee makes you a psychopath. It’s that, of the people tested, those who said they like bitter foods (like black coffee or grapefruit) also scored a tiny bit higher on a 50-question survey designed to detect personality traits like narcissism and Machiavellianism—traits thought to be tied to psychopathy.

If it sounds like that’s a lot of weasel words, congrats, you are correct.

Scientists use phrases like “associated with” or “linked to” when the data shows that the variables increase or decrease at the same time, or that one increases as the other decreases. Those are called correlations. But the fact that two things are correlated does not mean that one causes the other. They might not actually be related to each other at all. For example, the number of films Nicolas Cage appeared in per year is correlated with the number of people who drowned by falling into a pool, but I think we can all agree that’s not Cage’s fault. Science is all about relationships, and relationships are complicated. But the complicated, somewhat weasel-y language scientists use to describe their findings doesn’t fit into a headline well.

I’m not just blaming the media for this one, though. Yeah, the headlines were sensationalist, and yeah, claims were exaggerated, but part of the job of being a scientist is being able to accurately tell people what you found in an understandable way. It’s a two-way street, and it’s a lazy scientist who blames it all on the media without thinking about if they did a good job explaining themselves.

Even if the news articles had been completely accurate, there’s still a problem: the study itself. The researchers were looking at people’s food preferences without thinking about the fact that taste is incredibly subjective. It’s so subjective that the researchers and the participants didn’t even agree on what foods were bitter. The authors said grapefruit was a bitter food, but some participants said it wasn’t. So that’s a problem.

Taste is a very complicated sense, and it can be influenced by many factors. For example, cilantro tastes like soap to me because I have a genetic mutation that affects how my brain perceives the taste of cilantro. When I ask my friends what cilantro tastes like to them, the best description they can come up with is cilantro-y. It’s like trying to describe colors to someone who can’t see colors. You just can’t.

Taste can even be influenced by our other senses. No matter how good a stew is, if it has the misfortune of looking like vomit, you’ll most likely find it less tasty than you would if you ate it blindfolded. Same thing goes if you are told that a glass of wine is very expensive. You can throw Franzia in a fancy bottle and say it’s extremely expensive and people will think it’s absolutely amazing, because they are expecting that an expensive wine in a fancy bottle will taste better than cheap wine that comes in boxes.

And that’s not news to scientists. The researchers on the cof-

JEOFFRY RAY/PSU VANGUARD

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

fee study probably heard about that phenomenon when they were undergrads. But scientists are human, and humans forget things and make mistakes. Being a professional scientist does not mean you can always design a flawless experiment and always interpret the results accurately. Science is designed to catch as many of those errors as possible, but those aren’t perfect either. Scientists work together to catch each others’ mistakes. We have our peers read and critique our findings before they’re published, and we fully expect that other scientists will tell us if we messed up or missed something. Criticism is necessary for good science, but sometimes it just fails to show up for the party.

So how are we supposed to know what science news is legit and what science news is a giant cluster of communication breakdowns?

Remember that science is all about complicated relationships, so it’s very uncommon to be able to say that you are 100 percent sure that this thing causes that thing. Also, studies need to be replicated before we can be sure their results are legit. If someone else does exactly what you did but has different results, your findings probably aren’t that strong. It could be that your results were a fluke. It could be that somebody accidentally sneezed into a petri dish and contaminated it with their nose germs. No matter what, you need to be able to replicate your results in order to call them valid.

Also, dishonest scientists exist. A while back I was reading a study that compared several drugs and noticed that one of the graphs was missing a column. It seemed weird that the authors compared three drugs in all of the graphs except one, so I checked the financial disclosures section. Sure enough, the missing column was for a drug made by the company that the head researcher works for. I’ve also seen papers where the authors straight-up misquoted other research to back up their findings. Never mind that the paper they cite says the exact opposite of what the authors claim it says, and that anyone could figure it out just by reading the cited paper.

The most important thing is to be skeptical. Very few things in science are absolute, especially when you start talking about living things.

OPINION

EXPLORING THE WORLD CAN CHANGE YOUR WORLD When I was younger my mom made sure to pass on her love for travel to my sister and I, so from a very young age, I began to embrace the idea of visiting new places. Now my sister and I are both travel junkies, addicted to the concept of discovering places we’ve never been before. We save our hard-earned money and make these adventures happen, one by one.

Two years ago I took a term off school and decided to backpack through South America with two of my best friends. Miraculously, we made it to four countries in a month and a half and did it all under a very tight budget. It was easily one of the best experiences of my life. That trip truly changed my life and has prompted me to encourage others to do the same.

If you haven’t already begun your traveling experiences, it’s never too late. Here are a few reasons why making time in your life for travel will completely change your world.

Happiness booster

Research has shown that the act of planning a trip or time off boosts your mood quite a bit. Unfortunately, our country has developed around the concept of long work days and limited vacation time. According to USA Today, the United States is the only country in the world that doesn’t have legally required vacation time, while many countries in Europe make it mandatory. Austria, for example, boasts 22 paid vacation days and 13 required paid holidays.

The result of our country’s strict work regime is a population of individuals who feel stressed, tired and to some extent quite unhappy. Therefore, it is up to us to plan for some time away from home, even if it’s just one week out of the year.

Prioritize your happiness above all else and give yourself the gift of embracing your freedom.

Health and Wellness

by Jacqueline C. Bryan

You’ll never be the same

Traveling is life-changing. Not only will you come home with a broader perspective of the world, chock-full with new information, but you’ll also come home feeling like a different person. That time on the road forces you to experience yourself in a new light, and may end up prompting you to change things within yourself as well. You’ll come back wiser, stronger and most likely injected with the travel bug. Be ready to want to explore every nook and cranny in this beautiful world we live in .

A SUMMER AFTERNOON IN TUILERIES GARDEN in Paris, days before the official Paris Tour started via the University Studies Abroad Consortium Summer Session 2 (June though July 2014), which is based in Pau, France. USAC is a program provider in partnership with Portland State’s Education Abroad Office. JAIME DUNKLE/PSU VANGUARD

KAYLA TOWNSLEY

Meet and greet

It’s inevitable that you will meet people during your travels, especially if you choose to stay in hostels or use services, such as Couchsurfing or Airbnb. Some of the greatest people I know I’ve met during my travels. It’s amazing how having a conversation with a local or a fellow traveler can broaden your mind. They’ll give you a different perspective on life and encourage you to try new things, and they may even become lifelong friends.

Up your street smarts

Traveling is going to force you to use your brain, whether you like it or not. You’re going to have to learn how to interact with people, find your way around new places and even figure out menus at restaurants. You’ll be using your smarts to avoid dangerous situations and instances where people are trying to hustle and rip you off. Every culture is different and will have different things you’ll have to learn by trial and error—just always remember to think twice in all that you do.

Immerse yourself in the culture

This is probably the best part of traveling, as it requires you to learn the little details that make up a culture and requires you to respect and follow the various customs associated with each culture. You may end up eating, sleeping, communicating and traveling way differently than you are used to. You’re also going to have so many new sights, sounds and smells to experience everywhere you go.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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ILLUSTRATIOIN BY SHANNON KIDD

WEIRD

Keep Portland Weird

BRIE BARBEE

I’ll admit it, I’m not from Portland, at least not originally. I grew up in Vancouver, Washington, a whopping 20 minutes north of downtown Portland.

For all intents and purposes, I am from Portland. That’s what I tell people who aren’t from around here. Besides the fact that most Americans (and even some Oregonians) have no idea where Vancouver is, Portland has always felt like home to me.

I board planes at PDX and buy my books at Powell’s, just like every other Portlander. Late-night Voodoo runs were a staple during high school. To me, Vancouver never felt like a separate city, but rather a physical extension of the place I’ve come to know and love.

So when Vancouver rolled out its “Keep Vancouver Normal” slogan in response to “Keep Portland Weird,” I found myself identifying as a Portlander more than ever.

I couldn’t understand why they felt the need to distance themselves from all the unique people and places that make my home so unlike many other cities in the country.

Some have criticized Portlanders for stealing the motto from our sister-hipsters in Austin. And while they did have the motto first, with a little bit of friendly borrowing, we’ve taken it and made it our own.

The “Keep Austin Weird” movement first began as a way to encourage residents to spend more money at local businesses.

When it was introduced in 2003, the same notion drove the slogan in Portland, but it has evolved since then.

Don’t get me wrong, Portland is very pro-small business. But the “Keep Portland Weird” slogan doesn’t encourage us to shop at local businesses any more than it encourages us to drink beer or ride bikes.

The desire to shop locally is an important piece of our identity as Portlanders, and it is not something that any slogan (or anti-slogan in the case of Vancouver) is going to change.

What “Keep Portland Weird” really does is embrace the quirks and oddities of all the people living in and around the city, as well as promote individuality, local art and alternative lifestyles.

I can already hear the critics calling, “But we don’t want to be weird! Weird is bad!”

A quick search in your handy-dandy dictionary will tell you that weird “involves or suggests the supernatural.” Okay, not exactly what we’re going for. But it also describes weird as “conceived by unrestrained imagination” or “odd and remarkable.”

None of these definitions equate weirdness with being bad, and we shouldn’t treat it that way. Why would anyone want to “conform to the standard” or the “common” or “typical”?

We should embrace our weirdness because choosing not to conform is what makes us stand out, and I think that’s a great thing. No one seems to know where Vancouver is, but a lot of people have heard of Portland.

Sorry fellow Vancouverites, I’m sticking with Portland on this one, and I plan on keeping things super weird.

I still love you, Vancouver! No hard feelings, right?

Keep Portland ^ Weird

SEBASTIAN RICHARDSON

This past July, the lead singer of Modest Mouse made headlines when he made some less than flattering comments about Portland during an interview.

In the interview he called Portland “crappy” and a “collection of human turds.” He also went on to say that the whole keeping Portland weird thing just “allows people to be complete pieces of shit.”

Let me preface this next statement: I love Portland. I’ve lived here now for three years and I’ve enjoyed every minute, but after my most recent return to Portland, I think Isaac Brock might be onto something.

When I first read this article I was living in Russia, studying at university in St. Petersburg. That city was weird, but not in the way Portland is.

The weirdness of St. Petersburg was merely a consequence of the diversity of people, ideas and history. You might see a man with a pet monkey outside a giant orthodox cathedral built in the early 1800s. The surrealism of St. Petersburg felt genuine and authentic, and was devoid of any bumper stickers to remind you of its “weirdness.”

I’ll admit when I first moved to Portland, I loved how there was a show that was dedicated to simply poking fun at the quirkiness of the city and its people. I even chuckled the first time I saw the unipiper.

While this city has become my home, my distaste for the city’s weirdness has grown.

Portland’s weirdness is propagated by a bunch of youngish white people who find some sort of validity in weird modes of

self-expression and lifestyle choices, ranging from the overtly eccentric to the annoyingly inconvenient.

At the end of the day, Portland’s weirdness isn’t authentic. It’s entirely fabricated. You could argue that Portland’s weirdness is a mask used to cover up the fact that we live in one of the least diverse cities in the entire country.

What Portland lacks in true diversity it makes up for in Naked Bike Rides, dumpster diving, hipster culture, vegan strip clubs, microbrews and penis-shaped doughnuts.

The worst part about the whole “Keep Portland Weird” thing is that when Portland does something strange, unique or inherently idiotic, people just shrug their shoulders and say, “That’s Portland for you.”

The best example of this was the nonsense surrounding water fluoridation a few years ago. People in Portland acted as though water fluoridation was some sort of conspiracy planned by an evil league of supervillain dentists and voted against it. Now people in Portland who can’t afford regular checkups at the dentist are deprived of one of the most effective preventative measures utilized by every major city in the U.S. People just attributed it to Portland’s weirdness and moved on.

So while I don’t think Portland is a bunch of “human turds,” I do think the whole “weirdness” of Portland does give people an excuse to be jerks who put way too much stake in what makes them “unique.”

Portland’s “weirdness” is overrated and I don’t feel it’s anything to laud.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY TERRA DEHART

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

9

WEIRD

Strange but Free Places to Hang 0ut Near Campus

MILES SANGUINETTI

Whether you’re looking for a quiet spot to kick back with a book or somewhere off the beaten path to check out over the course of a night on the town, there are plenty of places near campus that fit the bill.

With its wealth of fountains, parks and quirky cultural landmarks, southwest Portland is definitely the place to be.

Bart Simpson: SW Salmon & SW 18th Ave.

One little-known spot that falls under the category of landmarks with a bit of history to them is a portrait of Bart Simpson etched into concrete by none other than Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons. The concrete etching is on the corner of 18th and Salmon Street, just outside of Lincoln High School, Groening’s alma mater.

The illustration is right off of the blue and red MAX lines, so while it isn’t likely to pro-

vide hours of entertainment, it’s definitely a neat little sight to see if you’re in the area.

Keller Fountain Park: SW Clay & Southwest 4th Ave. Just a couple blocks north of campus is Keller Fountain Park, which takes up an entire block right by the intersection of 4th and Clay Street. The Ira Keller fountain itself is really only anything to write home about over the summer, when it’s a great way to cool down and relax during a hot day.

What really makes the park weird and interesting is the architecture and landscaping of the block. Built in 1970 and designed by Angela Danadjieva, the park has towering concrete bluffs and a host of trees and bushes that evoke the Columbia River Gorge and give the space a relaxed, natural feeling even in the middle of the city.

So long as the weather permits, Keller Fountain Park is a great place to sit down and do some reading, take a break for lunch or hang out with your friends.

Riverplace Marina Breakwater: Near SW Montgomery on the Willamette River

it’s still arguably the best spot in Portland to see the river from.

There’s definitely something neat about getting right down on the water and watching the geese and boats go by, be it in the middle of the day or late at night.

Mill Ends Park: Pacific Highway and SW Taylor St. A few blocks north at the intersection of Pacific Highway and Taylor Street is still another of Portland’s curiosities.

Touted by the Guiness Book of

Further eastward is another gem. Nearly anyone familiar with the waterfront has spotted Riverplace Marina; with its rows of yachts and other boats, it’s pretty hard to miss.

What’s less visible to the casual observer is a short pier that loops around the rest of the docks and—unlike most of the marina—is completely open to the public.

While the bench that used to sit at the pier’s end has been removed, PHOTOS

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Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

World Records as the world’s smallest park, Mill Ends Park is just two feet across and plopped square in the middle of a median across the highway.

Owing to its small size, Mill Ends has little vegetation besides some flowers and a single tiny fir tree and isn’t exactly the kind of park where you can sit down at a bench and relax. It’s a cool sight to see, though, and a perfect intersection of Portland’s token weirdness and fondness for the outdoors.

Watch the video at psuvanguard.com

WEIRD

Kookiest Campus Crimes of 2015

JAIME DUNKLE

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SHANNON KIDD

Being an urban campus lends itself to an array of unique encounters. Crimes on campus are often just as unpredictable as Portland weather. Here’s a list of this year’s wildcards.

Random AF Exclusion at University Services Building on Jan. 6 Officers contacted a nonstudent who had been sitting on a forklift parked in the building’s loading dock. He was excluded after officers found a bottle with marijuana residue on him.

Will work for weed?

Exclusion at Market Center Building on Feb. 11 A non-student flagged down officers because someone was sleeping in the back of her car.

The officers removed Sleeping Beauty from the vehicle and charged him with unlawful entry and theft II, and he was issued an exclusion.

Portland really needs to do something about the housing crisis.

Warrant Arrest in University Honors Disorderly Conduct and Arrest in the Building on May 5 Montgomery Parking Lot on June 26 Someone was seen “observing a cold, refreshing Steel Reserve beer.” He was arrested after a background check.

Cheers!

AssistinSWCollege/SWParkonMay9 An 88-year-old non-student drove through the Park Blocks.

Witnesses said he almost hit pedestrians when he drove on the sidewalk next to the Shattuck tennis court. A tree and parkingsign crash stopped the driver.

Unable to communicate, he was transferred to OHSU. No comment.

Theft II in the Blackstone Residence Hall on May 19 Eight loads of laundry were stolen from the laundry room after sitting there for two days.

At least the thief saved somebody a lot of ironing time.

Exclusion Near Walk of Heroines on June 24 A person got caught crapping on campus.

That pretty much says it all.

Two dudes threw glass bottles at Portland State parking enforcement officers. One of the officers said he did not think the men intended to hit them.

Just goes to show that no one likes meter maids.

Bizarre Jerks Exclusion in Smith Memorial Student Union on Feb. 21 Officers responded to a report of a non-student holding a shank and asking to see the dean. He admitted to being under the influence of an amphetamine salt that he said was not illegal.

As if that was somehow comforting.

Harassment in the Academic and Student Recreation Center on May 8 A male was reported to have doused a woman in icecold water from behind.

Maybe he thought he was still at spring break in Florida.

Student Conduct on May 25

A student said “she wanted to drug a professor and take incriminating photos” in a message to another student. The female student told CPSO she was joking and that “she did not wish harm upon the professor.”

She also said she was only trying to flirt with the other student and that she has “an odd sense of humor.”

Is this a screenplay for a horror movie? No? It is now.

Possible Racially Motivated Incident in Cramer Hall on June 3 Two female students reported that they were talking after class on the west side of Cramer Hall “when they were approached by an elderly white female” who said ‘Welcome to America’ and tried to dump a cup of soda on them. They ran and the woman chased them, yelling, but they were able to leave.

Maybe she needs a welcome-to-the-21st-Century rude awakening.

Exclusion in Branford Price Millar Library on June 4 An allegedly masturbating male was contacted by the officers and excluded.

Homie, get a room for that librarian fetish.

Stranger than Fiction Sexual Assault in Millar Library on Jan. 8 A non-student reported sexual assault to the Portland Police Bureau. The individual was a chronic caller and often falsely reported sexual assaults, according to PPB. When CPSO responded, the individual stated that he had been molested after noxious gasses that caused him to faint. He also stated he had been injected with a stimulant that had caused his penis to become erect.

This sounds like a Joker plot gone awry.

Unlawful Possession of Meth, Criminal Mischief I, Disorderly Conduct II near SW Broadway/SW College on May 28 A seemingly intoxicated man was disturbing bystanders and then tried to lift an ATM. The man picked up a brick and threw it at the ATM as officers approached. They ran toward him, telling him to stop. After a brief pursuit, the officers spotted him at SW Fourth and SW Hall. A small bag of meth was found on the man when he was detained at the Multnomah County Detention Center.

Did he just watch the Breaking Bad episode “Peekaboo,” about the stolen ATM?

Exclusions from Parking Structure Exclusion at Hoffmann Hall on May 30 Three on May 17 Two people were sleeping on the outside of the southwest stairwell. “Human waste, orange hypodermic needle caps, burnt tin foil and garbage” covered the stairwell. When asked what the paraphernalia was being used for, they said it was “just for weed.”

Yeah, like that is going to work.

A non-student male was digging through the bushes for an hour before CPSO responded. The man pulled out a used syringe containing blood when identification was requested.

Thanks for the DNA sample.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

11

WEIRD

Weird and Totally Real Oregon Laws

COLLEEN LEARY

Have you ever gotten married on an ice rink? Whispered sweet dirty nothings in your lover’s ear? Left a Tupperware of your poo on the side of the highway? Who hasn’t? We’ve all had those days—but if you’re not careful, you might just find yourself crushed under the long weird arm of the Oregon law.

Portland’s got a reputation for being a weird place. I bet you didn’t know the weirdness is structural and systematic—it runs deep. Real deep. Take a look at some of the weirdest laws to pass through our state legislative system. Every law on this list still stands today.

1 No weddings on ice skating rinks.

4 Women may not wrestle in Salem.

For the last time, no weddings will be happening on the ice. remove yourself from Lloyd Center immediately.

This is problematic.

2 No whistling underwater.

This is just irresponsible swimming.

5 No pet reptiles in the city limits of Springfield unless you’re a school or a city.

Are you a school or a city? No?

12 You cannot eat a 14 Dishes must drip doughnut and walk dry.

Keep that towel a legal disbackwards on a tance from your sauce pan or city street in Marion pay the price.

County.

15 It is illegal to Marion County officials have seen the kind of shenanigans whisper “dirty” that come out of Voodoo Doughnuts, and they’ve set things in your lover’s rules to make sure none of that fritternizing happens on ear during sex. their streets.

13 Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.

7 No predicting the future in Yamhill.

9 No ice cream on Sundays.

While we’re at it, let’s just go

3 Shoelaces must Sorry, Cuddles theChameleon Sorry, Miss Cleo. ahead and rule out ice cream has got to go.

Back up your crystal ball and on Sundays. You’ve been hitbe tied while walking head on back to Portland. ting the Salt & Straw a little hard lately. I know you say down the street.

6 No Animal Sex in you can stop any time you 8 Marion County want, but I’m starting to worRemember what your moth- the city of Stanfield. ry about you. Everything in er taught you: Bunny ears, ministers are moderation—even ice cream. bunny ears, jumped into the Now I’m not close-minded. hole... Imagine the look on If Milo and Otis feel com- forbidden to eat poor Ma’s face when she has pelled to express themselves 10 Juggling is to bail you out of jail for walk- through the universal lan- garlic or onions ing down the street with your guage of physical L-O-V-E, strictly prohibited shoe laces flopping around all they can go right ahead. All before their Sunday nimbly-bimbly.

I ask is they don’t do it here without a license in in my quaint little town of sermons.

Stanfield, Oregon. We’re lawHood River. fearing folk around here, and we can’t have any of that meow-meow-hanky-panky nonsense driving the women off their rockers.

Pastor Joe cannot possibly deliver the Lord’s message with that devil stank wafting from the pocket behind his uvula.

Mrs. Flannigan did not put on her Sunday best for this.

Juggling is not funny business.

11 One may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway.

No lifting. No flexing. No if’s and’s or butt’s about it.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY RACHEL GOLDSTEIN

12

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

This is just common sense.

Canned corn fish-baiters are probably the same whackos doing that underwater whistling.

“Penis.”

16 It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal matter on the side of any highway.

Did this really happen enough that somebody had to spell it out?

Uncanny Cuisine AISLINN RENNISON

There’s more to weird food in Portland than just putting bacon on your maple bar at Voodoo. There are some other odd, unheard of and downright scary plates out there—but you just might surprise yourself and get seconds. If you’re looking for adventure in your food, try out some of these crawling meals.

Start off slow in your feast feat and try something just a little out of the ordinary. Xocolatl de David makes high-end chocolates, caramels and other treats for sale in stores around the country.

But he also has a foie gras bar in southeast Portland. Haven’t

you tried liver before? No? Try pairing it with high-end Bolivian

chocolate. Anything will taste good with Bolivian chocolate.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SHANNON KIDD

Your weird city events Aislinn Rennison

WEIRD Sample something a little more peculiar, but not yet rare, at Lincoln Restaurant in north Portland.

Start your meal off with baked hen eggs soaked in cream, served with olives and breadcrumbs. Afterwards, warm up with Bone Broth. The delectable soup is filled with chicken, corn, parmigiano-reggiano, duck egg and—what’s that? Pig’s ear. Don’t forget to share the boiled elk tongue, when the restaurant is serving it.

Let’s get a little more weird.

Hop on over to Le Bistro Montage in southeast for some frog legs. Glazed with Cajun gravy and deep-fried, these frog legs are a very popular dish, especially for kids.

It’s also served with honeywheat bread and a few dipping options, such as cocktail sauce and horseradish. After gobbling up those legs, order some gator bites, which supposedly taste like chicken.

Still not full? Still not weirded out? Let’s take it to the big leagues. Stop at Le Pigeon on East Burnside. Here you will find an array of (expensive) rare

meats and animals. Order the grilled breast of a…pigeon. Yep, pigeon. It’s a thing, apparently.

If you can’t bring yourself to try the pigeon—made by professional and experienced chefs— I bet you will gladly take a bite when you know what it’s paired with: coconut glazed carrots, roasted garlic peanut butter and celery coriander vinaigrette.

If eating a city-bird is just a little too weird for you, try their

famous fried lamb neck. Herbed grits, sweet habanero honey and spiced carrots will spice up the neck for anyone’s liking.

Before you go out and munch on some pig’s ear, ingest liver and devour pigeon, try a light appetizer at Sushi Mazi: grasshopper.. You can look your sushi in the eyes as it sits atop your rice and veggie roll.

Embrace your weird side and try some unusual cuisine tonight!

To no surprise, most involve drinking or biking, or both

March: Urban Iditarod “Idiots” in costumes tied to a decorated shopping cart, mush all around downtown, stopping here and there for a drink. Sadly, the Iditarod no longer happens in Portland, but you can travel down to Eugene to watch the idiots every spring!

May: Hero/Villain Power Struggle At this annual pub crawl, you are welcomed to dress up as your favorite hero or villain and go drink with the enemy.

May/June: Bearded Lady Competition Exactly what it sounds like. Plus vendors, live music and entertainers!

Proceeds always go to a different organization and/or charity.

June: Pedalpalooza Every summer, bicyclists can choose from hundreds of different biking events during Pedalpalooza, including Dropout Prom Ride. If you didn’t get the chance to attend your prom, you can make up for it by dressing in your best prom attire and going out on the town to cycle. You just might get awarded king or queen.

June: Naked Bike Ride Part of Pedalpalooza, Portland’s Naked Bike Ride is world famous and is dedicated to protesting oil dependency and oil transport. Thousands of bikers, wearing underwear and body paint at the most, join together to cycle all around Portland as spectators cheer them on.

June: The Quiet Music Festival of Portland The festival brings in quiet and soft music from musicians all around the country to simply sit comfortably and listen to the music. Yes, sleeping is allowed and actually encouraged.

August: PDX Adult Soapbox Derby At the end of the summer, adults meet at Mount Tabor to race down the hills with their homemade soapboxes, each with its own decorations and theme. The Portland community is encouraged to come watch the races and have a picnic and glass of wine.

December/July: SantaCon Dress up like good ol’ St. Nick and join hundreds of other Santas in a pub crawl! Don’t worry if you can’t make it to the crawl in December­— a summer SantaCon happens every July, too.

Every Sunday: Zoobombers Grab your little brother’s wheels and join other adults with kid’s bikes to race down the West Hills by the Oregon Zoo.

Every day: Portland Different weird events are happening every day in Portland, though they may not be specifically listed anywhere. Expect the weird, like seeing hundreds of dildos hanging from power lines around the city. Do the weird, like working out at the Green Microgym that uses generated electricity from the exercise equipment to stay lit. Embrace the weird, like supporting your local vegan strip club.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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WEIRD NOW HIRING

VANGUARD INTERIM EDITOR-IN-CHIEF The Vanguard is seeking an interim Editor-in-Chief, who will be responsible for oversight of all facets of the organization and its published content. The EIC will complete the academic year in the role and will have the opportunity to apply for a full year of appointment in spring 2016 during the annual editor/manager competitive application process. The time commitment for this role is 20–30 hours per week. The position is currently funded at $2,400 per term.

INTERESTED STUDENTS MUST FILL OUT AN APPLICATION BY 5 P.M., WEDNESDAY, OCT. 28.

VISIT PDX.EDU/STUDENT-MEDIA/POSITION-ANNOUNCEMENTS FOR MORE INFORMATION

WENTWORTH SUBARU SKI FEVER AND SNOWBOARD SHOW PORTLAND EXPO CENTER NOVEMBER 6-8, 2015 FRIDAY 11/6 1-10PM, SATURDAY 11/7 10AM-9PM, SUNDAY 11/8 10AM-6PM PORTLANDSKIFEVER.COM 14

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

WEIRD

Get Weird This Halloween MOLLY OZIER

A FEW OF THE WEIRDEST EVENTS HAPPENING ON HALLOWEEN IN PDX Portland is many things, especially weird. With one of the weirdest holidays around the corner, things are bound to get freaky in the City of Roses. Why, you ask? Because it’s Portland.

Want to laugh and be terrified all in one evening? Then Murder Mystery Machine is the act for you. Watch your favorite Scooby-Doo gang improvise live slasher movies that will make you scream from fear and cry from laughter. Presented by the Funhouse Lounge, the crew will take suggestions from the audience as they solve mysterious murders. This is not an act for the whole family, folks—the event is rated R.

Oct. 22–24, Oct. 29–30, Nov. 5–7. $12/advance, $16/door.

The words “horror” and “musical” don’t usually go hand in hand. But thanks to the weird, creative minds at Stumptown Stages, you can go see your favorite thriller live, as a musical.

Carrie by Stephen King comes to the Brunish Theatre. With Academy Award–winning names behind the production, it’s sure to be a hit. Oct. 22–Nov. 8.

If you’re looking for creepy this Halloween, look no further than the Doll Asylum.

The house opens its doors only five days a year for those who are brave enough to walk the halls lined with skewed, tortured and macabre dolls. The purpose of the house dates back to 1867, when German

D I Y Halloween

doctor Hermann Reinhardt began taking in dolls that were abandoned, neglected or, most significantly, showing signs of psychotic or murderous behavior. If you like testing your horror level, this is the asylum for you. Oct. 23–25, Oct. 30– 31. Free to the public.

Get your sexy freak on at Crystal Ballroom’s Portland Erotic Ball. For its 16th year in a row, the Pacific Northwest’s sexiest Halloween event returns. Get your tastebuds tingling by visiting the fetish room, or win $5,000 in their costume contest.

Hosted by Emmy-nominee Sasha Scarlett, experience three floors of fun. This is a strictly 21+ event. $39/general, $89/VIP. Ever wanted to play Clue in real-life? Here’s your chance with the Dinner Detective

Murder Mystery Show. Enjoy a four-course meal with a side of crime-solving and humor.

Everyone’s a suspect at this dinner table. Cast members will blend in with the audience to ensure your experience is as authentic as can be. Involvement in the show is encouraged, though not expected.

Oct. 31. $59.95/person.

Have you ever wanted to learn the “Thriller” dance?

What about Bollywood style?

If you’re wondering what that means, you should probably just go see for yourself at Jai Jo! Bollywood Thriller Halloween Costume Dance Party at the Hawthorne Theatre. Dance with DJ UV and Justina Nashif on her LED Hula Hoop, or enter their $1,000 costume contest. Either way, you’re sure to have

a thrilling good time. Must be 21+. $8/advance, $10/door, $5 each for groups of four or more.

There ya have it, folks: some of the weirdest Halloween events happening in our neck

of the woods this year. Be sure to put on your weirdest costumes, grab some of your weirdest friends and head out into our weird city for a wicked good time!

Costumes and Where to Get the Materials

MOLLY OZIER

When it comes to picking out your Halloween costume, you could be the type that decides the night before or the type that plans months in advance. Either way, having a clever costume is always the

best route. And something that I always find to be key when making my costume is to make sure I’m comfortable! There’s nothing worse than wanting to take off your costume after four hours of putting it together.

One of the easiest costumes I’ve found is the Fannie Mae. All you have to do is tape or staple the May page from a calendar to your fanny.

If that’s not the direction you want to go, take a handful of nickels and glue them to the back of your shirt and you’ve got Nickelback.

Still not floating your boat?

Grab or borrow a bra that’s way too large for you, get maybe 10 or so spices from your shelf, put the bra on the outside of your shirt, stuff the

spices into the bra and you’ve got yourself a spice rack.

If these aren’t complex enough for you, grab your pom-poms and an old shirt, write “go ceiling” on the shirt, and you’ve just made yourself a ceiling fan.

Looking for something on the cuter side? Try one of these: Take a large, clear trash bag, cut holes out for your arms and legs, write the nutrition facts for jelly beans on the back with Sharpie, blow up some colored balloons, stuff them inside the bag, get in, and you just became a bag of jelly beans, my friend.

Or, if that’s not doing it, grab your favorite basketball jersey, an inflatable donut, a toy hoop and a basketball—now you’re dunkin’ donuts. Just don’t forget to dunk!

Planning ahead is always best. But sometimes work, school or life can just get in the way of that—understandably so. If that’s the case, then be sure to check out these stores for lastminute treasures: Red Light Clothing Exchange on Hawthorne is your year-round go-to for any clothing out of the ordinary. From miscellaneous costumes to monocles, you’ll definitely find what you’re looking for.

If Red Light didn’t have what you were looking for, just across the street is Buffalo Exchange. Although still vintage, the clothes have more of a modern twist.

For cheap knickknacks and things you won’t mind ruin-

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SHANNON KIDD

ing for your costume’s sake, Goodwill is your one-stop shop. Just be careful to avoid the high-end ones; you won’t find costume essentials that are nearly as good at those.

These are just a few out of an endless array of shops and costume ideas to get the ball rolling for your Halloween.

Word of advice: Start thinking about it now.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

15

WEIRD

A Tip of the Hat to the

Truly Weird Portlanders LISA DUNN

ILLUSTRATIONS BY SHANNON KIDD

Portland, of late, has cultivated a reputation for being ground zero for quirkobsessed, pickling, knitting, handlebar-mustaching hipsters of the world over. And sure, seeing a guy cruise down a bike lane riding a 12-foot-high unicycle is weird. But there’s weird and then there’s weird.

And Portland’s weirdness is so much more than its facialhair-obsessed-coffee-snobPortlandia persona.

Don’t believe me? Just take a look at some of the more colorful people Portland has produced in the last few decades.

Sally Struthers Hey sugah! You probably know my girl Sally from her role as husky-voiced, overenthusiastic, gossiping whirlwind Babette on Gilmore Girls.

Struthers is an actress extraordinaire. Her career spans decades. Not to mention she’s also known for those creepy Christian Children’s Fund “Save the Children” infomercials from the ’80s and the subsequent Jabba the Hutinspired South Park parody of said commercials. Needless to

16

say, Struthers’ raspy, in-yourface persona has Portland written all over it.

Glenda Goldwater A badass who is frequently seen out and about in the Portland art scene. Tattooed.

Loves France. A shock of white, mad-scientist hair.

Hexagonal glasses and an attitude to match the aggressively cool frames. She is older, wiser and way cooler than you. Way more interesting than any of the straw man trust fund Californians floating through town with their uninspired beanies and perceived shitty attitudes.

Tonya Harding This ’90s ice princess is originally from the Clack.

Harding is an Olympic figure skater perhaps best known for hiring someone to break Nancy Kerrigan’s knees with a pipe. She is the best of Portland weird. She is what Fred Armisen was talking about when he said that the dream of the ’90s is alive in Portland—if

the dream of the ’90s were the mullet-rocking, acid wash jeanwearing variety.

Alyce CornynSelby aka Hat Museum Lady I can’t even begin to describe her. She has a private hat museum in Ladd’s Addition and she’s supposedly a consultant. She helps clients overcome their crippling procrastination. I would go into more detail, but I waited until the last minute to write this, so I don’t really have time.

Jed from Portlandia aka Jedediah Aaker

He’s a citizen of Portlandia. I had to throw in his big-bearded Portlandia-loving self because duh.

The ViolinPlaying Chicken This speaks for itself. A man regularly puts on a chicken costume and plays the violin—badly—around the city.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

It Keeps Getting Weirder In addition to this list of ,uh, gems, at some point in time Portland has hosted the likes of Miranda July, Courtney Love, Matt

Groening, Sam Elliot and a laundry list of other lovably strange characters.

If you embrace the Keep Portland Weird Mantra—

and don’t ride a unicycle down Burnside—, maybe you’ll show up on a list of Portland’s strangest in the future.

WEIRD

Haunted PDX Happenings AISLINN RENNISON

White Eagle Saloon and Hotel Part of the McMenamins chain, White Eagle is a rock ’n’ roll–themed bar and hotel located in north Portland. It opened in 1905 and has kept some memorabilia from the past around the hotel. Guests can rent a room on the second floor—shared bathrooms—and enjoy live music on the main floor stage, which also has a restaurant and saloon. There is a basement, now used for food and restaurant storage.

Almost 100 years ago, Polish immigrants Barney Soboleski and William Hryszko opened White Eagle to try to create a place for other immigrants to gather and enjoy recreational activities such as poker, drinking and spending time in the brothel on the second floor or the opium den in the basement. Although the White

Eagle has morphed into many other functions, such as a soda shop, a rock concert venue and a respected hotel, the supposed hauntings come from its early 20th century spinechilling happenings.

In the basement, there was a tunnel used to shanghai men into working on ships. Legend has it that these ships also supplied women from around the world to be used as sex slaves in the hotel. There have been reports of room doors opening and closing by themselves, coins falling from the ceiling and objects moving on their own. Guests have also claimed to be groped by cold hands! The most famous entity of the hotel, a prostitute named Rose, is believed to still live on the second floor.

While working at the hotel, she supposedly fell in love

ILLUSTRATION BY ELISE FURLAN

with one of her customers.

So when she refused a marriage proposal from another man, he violently killed her.

Some guests have claimed to hear a woman crying in the night, perhaps from the spirit of Rose. Although charming, this hotel and saloon has a lot of creepy history in its walls.

Old Town Pizza Old Town Pizza, located in downtown Portland, was once known as the Merchant Hotel over 100 years ago in 1880. Similar to the White Eagle, the establishment sits on top of the Shanghai Tunnels, where sailors were kidnapped for forced labor.

Again resembling White Eagle, the Merchant Hotel housed prostitutes who were forced to be sex workers. One of them, Nina, tried to make a deal with a traveler; she would give information about the sex industry in exchange for her freedom. Although she allegedly cooperated with the deal, soon after she was found at the bottom of the hotel’s elevator shaft, dead. Nina has been seen walking around the restaurant in a black dress, giving guests the occasional chill and scent of strong perfume. Although you can grab a delicious slice and a cold beer at Old Town Pizza with your friends, you might meet Nina in the process, maybe by the brick that has her name mysteriously carved into it.

ILLUSTRATION BY SHANNON KIDD

Hoodoo Antiques and Design Travel down to Old Town and check out the drawing of the woman in a lace headscarf at Hoodoo Antiques and Design. According to Jeff Davis, author of Portland’s Rose City Ghosts, the 19th-century picture is a haunted object that has been documented in police reports. The owner’s motherin-law found the painting hidden in the floorboards of her Portland bar, formerly known as Barracuda. There have been reports of motion-sensored alarms going off—more often on New Year’s—and people seeing a woman standing in the back of the shop wearing lace around her head and hair.

There have also been claims that objects will go missing and then be found in obvious places, some time later.

and 12th floors. Simon Benson himself has been spotted in the banquet hall—fooling a staff member into thinking he was a real man—and around the hotel. The entity of Benson has allegedly knocked drinks out of people’s hands, if they had been drinking to excess.

The former owner has also been seen in a suit, floating at the back of staff meetings.

Besides Benson, there are a few other ghosts roaming about the hotel. Supposedly

you can spot a woman wearing blue in the lobby mirror and a woman in white wandering various parts of the building.

You may also get assistance from a porter who once helped a disabled person get into bed and then quickly disappeared.

A mother and visitor to the hotel professed to seeing a boy outside of her covers, making silly faces at her. She tried to grab him to make sure he was all right and he was apparently very warm. She hid under her blankets, peeking up at the boy’s face once more. After she felt the boy move to the bottom of the bed, she looked to see if he was still there and he had evaporated into thin air!

Benson Hotel The Benson Hotel was originally built by wealthy businessman Simon Benson in 1913, who sold it in 1919. The hotel has since undergone a series of multimillion-dollar renovations, transforming the already large lodging into a grand, upscale hotel on Southwest Broadway.

Although most of the paranormal activity has not been considered extremely frightening, guests and staff have described seeing different spooky spirits throughout the hotel, mainly on the 7th, 9th

ILLUSTRATION BY ELISE FURLAN

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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ETC WEDNESDAY OCT. 28

Event Listings for Oct. 28–Nov. 1 THURSDAY OCT. 29

FRIDAY OCT. 30

SATURDAY OCT. 31

Portland State ’70s Strike

An Evening of Storytelling

Zombie Dodgeball

Halloween at the Zoo

Ongoing through midDecember, this fall exhibit documents the student strike activism in the Park Blocks that was archived from May 1970, in response to the killings at Kent State. Corinne Rupp supplements with research of her own.

Everyone has a story, and the diverse population of PSU is no different. Come and hear stories from students, faculty and staff about their varied life experiences and feel closer to your community.

If dodgeball used to give you hives, imagine bringing a team as your favorite four superheroes and coming to defend your childhood honor. Prizes are awarded for best costume, but spots in the tournament bracket are first come, first served—so don’t snooze or you’ll lose!

Bring your kids in costume for a scavenger hunt, plus some activities about wildlife and where they live. And, of course, add in some special zoo treats to the mix for a ghoulishly good time. Adults can probably come in costume, too.

Animated Horror

10 a.m.–2 p.m.

Farmers Market (Park Blocks) Free (with sign-up)

8 a.m.–8 p.m.

Millar Library, 1st Floor Free

Study Abroad Crowdfunding

1 p.m.

East Hall, Room 236 Free If funds are your main reason for not studying abroad, this might be the seminar for you. Come learn how to run a successful and personable campaign or reacquaint yourself with the basics of crowdfunding. Hosted by Portland State Education Abroad department, you will be well-supported in your traveling goals.

6:30–8 p.m.

SMSU Stage, 1st Floor Free

3rd Annual Brazilian Halloween Ball 7 p.m.

Analog Cafe Fee: $8 on Eventbrite, $10 at door

Ring in the Halloween weekend with samba, a carnival-style drum band and a mix of American and Brazilian DJing.

Stick around for the costume contest; first place will get a wicked prize.

There is also free Samba dance classes. Don’t miss the Multicultural side of Halloween!

6 p.m.

MAC Court Free

7 p.m.

Whitsell Theater Fee: $9

If you like your spooks more animated and less lively, then this compilation of animated shorts from around the world chosen by the good folks at Laika might be for you. A word of warning, this program is more for the adult set than the kiddos. Also, expect subtitles.

JOHN PINNEY

9 a.m.–3 p.m.

Oregon Zoo Fee: $12 for adults, $9 for kids 11 and under

Great PSU Pumpkin Event

You’re probably going to be hanging out at the farmers market anyways, so why not enter a pumpkin-carving contest with gift prizes for kids and adults? Winners are announced at 12:30 p.m. and must be present to win. A children’s costume parade will start a little before that at noon.

SUNDAY NOV. 1 All the Mushrooms

12–5 p.m.

Miller Hall at World Forestry Center Fee: $5 general admission, free with OMSI membership Do you like mushrooms?

Not just eating them, but growing them, drying them or even just identifying them for fun? Is this the fungus you talk most about? Then this annual show with a specimen display and mushroomgrowing kits is the place for you.

Opera on Screen 4 p.m.

OMSI Fee: Varies

This is the last screening in the opera series at the big Empirical Theater screen.

This final screening is the second part of the double feature for Halloween weekend and is a showing of the 1930s classic Phantom of the Opera— not the musical one with Gerard Butler.

FEATURED EVENT Spooky Theater Networking!

Thursday, Oct. 29, 6 p.m.

SMSU 333 Free

Portland State STAGE is one of the newest student groups on campus that— full disclosure—I help run.

Why should this matter to you? Well, Portland State STAGE is not just for theater majors. It is for the artist, the theater-adjacent and the theater-curious. This networking event is a safe and neutral way for you to enjoy finding out about different collaborations, nosh on some fantastic Halloween treats and experience the spooky joy of some secret surprises that will give you major nostalgia.

As with most group events on campus, it is free for any PSU student. For those with kids, they are welcome to accompany you, but the spooks may be too much for the under eight set.

JOHN PINNEY

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Sometimes you are thrust in a position of power you didn’t necessarily want.

However, this does not mean that you’re unable to rise to the occasion. Get on with your bad self!

Beware of your own selfish nature, for the darkness inside of you can quash any light and endanger you to be haunted by evil clown dolls.

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That one friend of yours that always seems to have a harebrained scheme up their sleeve is actually on to something this week.

Get involved and enthused!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, don’t open an antique chest, especially if you’re breaking into a haunted house on a dare.

Just don’t.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Your intelligence may work against you this week, Leo. There are those scheming to see you fail and seem to know just how smart you are. Can you outwit them?

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

This week your suspicions about authority will be proved correct. Sidestep the Harry Potter way, if necessary.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

You are not safe from a moment in your past that you regret. The universe always remembers and is always plotting. Seeking responsibility may be your only recourse.

Ride along with a friend this week seeking love and adventure. Not only will you go unexpected places, but even you may find something you’ve been seeking.

Scarecrows don’t always just strike fear into the hearts of crows. Legends have it that they can do much more and they are deadly when pushed or mocked.

It may seem strange to you, but the paranormal may come to your doorstep this week. Prepare to greet these entities with all the hospitality you can muster.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Those who seek to keep you in chains may find this week that not only are you more clever than they recently believed, but you are worth your weight in freedom.

Pisces (Feb. 20–March 19)

Evil forces beyond your control will test you to the limits of your will this week. But you do have your own power to defeat it, if you dare seek what it is inside of your heart.

ETC

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17 The train from Bury to London? (9) 19 Recluse regularly yearned to have child (7) 20 Renovates part of Oxford at last? (7) 23 So one side is up at end of game; the other side will be this (5) 25 National flag seen over hospital (5)

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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ARTS & CULTURE

IDENTITY MATTERS:

LGBTQ COMMUNITY & ALLIES ‘TROUBLE THE COMING OUT NARRATIVE’ CATHERINE JOHNSON

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The group identified the problem with this in-or-out dichotomy as not allowing space for complexities.

“In our contemporary discussion of coming out, there’s an assumption that everyone should come out and that coming out is the marker of being an empowered and healthy LGBTQ person,” Mehrotra said. “But the reality is that for a lot of people it’s actually much more complex than that. I think we need ways to understand that it’s much more dynamic.”

Some view coming out as one of several critical stages in a process toward obtaining a healthy identity. AndersonNathe described how being visibly gay and proud is treated as a necessary, but temporary, act before one is ultimately integrated back into the dominant culture.

However, this model reduces a variety of individual situations and experiences into a narrowly defined and linear path, and ultimately works within the dominant heteronormative power structure, instead of disrupting it.

“Coming out puts a lot of onus on the individual to be the person who’s the actor,” Mehrotra said. “The individual who’s queer has to come out, but there’s not really a questioning of the structure that creates the circumstance where someone even has to come out.”

Some are encouraging the need to acknowledge and talk about the conditions of homophobia and transphobia.

Leah Parker, a PSU junior, resented that the act of coming out is about making others more comfortable.

“They want you to be out so they don’t have to think about it,” Parker said.

Ironically, Mehrotra noted that when Milk advocated coming out thirty years ago, it was to intentionally make people uncomfortable,

whereas now labeling someone is an attempt for them to feel more comfortable.

“We don’t question the closet, we question the person in it,” Mehrotra said.

But how does one remove the burden of coming out?

In order to do so, Mehrotra encouraged those involved in the discussion to create communities that accept and understand all different types of gender identities and sexual orientations.

“If you change the culture to where there’s very clear acceptance and openness and understanding of the range of gender and sexual identities and experiences, I think it changes the onus on the person,” Mehrotra said.

Even though many participants voiced the need to define their own parameters and methods of coming out, which challenged the pressure to be marked by their sexual orientation or gender identity in prescribed ways, that wasn’t to say visibility wasn’t important. In fact, members of the audience agreed that it can be critical for survival.

The discussion also addressed how some within the LGBTQ community are not represented by or included in the current coming out narrative, which tends to be dominated by white gays and lesbians that may otherwise occupy positions of privilege in their lives.

“A lot of critiques are coming from LGBTQ folks who might be more marginalized in other ways,” Mehrotra said.

“So you’re talking about queer people of color or trans people of color or poor queer folks who have a different set of contextual circumstances to have to continue to navigate and negotiate in their coming out process. I think those voices getting amplified is part of needing to challenge this narrative more explicitly.”

DR. GITA MEHROTRA OF THE SCHOOL OF SOCIAL WORK (right) discusses coming out narratives with Erin Underwood and other students at the PSU Queer Resource Center.

COURTESY OF THE PSU QUEER RESOURCE CENTER

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On Wednesday, Oct. 14, allies and members of Portland State’s LGBTQ community gathered in the newly renovated Queer Resource Center for a conversation dedicated to “Troubling the Coming Out Narrative”—one of the many events featured in Coming Out Week, which started on the previous Sunday, National Coming Out Day. Doctors Gita Mehrotra and Ben Anderson-Nathe, and professors in the PSU School of Social Work, facilitated by explaining previous models of coming out and posing questions to the large group.

The first paradigm of coming out was informally referred to as the “Harvey Milk model,” after the first openly gay person was elected to public office in California in 1977. Craig Leets, the QRC coordinator, recalled the film Milk in which Harvey Milk was portrayed as claiming that everyone needs to come out immediately to everyone they know.

The problem is that he encouraged coming out “without any sort of contextualizing about what the repercussions or impact might be for those people,” Leets said. “It was just ‘Come out loud and often.’”

On the other hand, not coming out has often been considered by some as a kind of betrayal of gayness, AndersonNathe added.

“It’s also a discourse/narrative that obscures the risks people often experience when they come out and over-assumes that it’ll get better once people are out,” Anderson-Nathe said.

“For lots of people—including but not limitted to many people of color, poor folks, genderqueer or trans folks and people from collectivist backgrounds—this simply isn’t true and the expectation to come out puts people in a tight spot from which there’s no easy escape.”

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ARTS & CULTURE

EDITOR PICK OF THE WEEK MOVIE: CRIMSON PEAK AISLINN RENNISON

Crimson Peak looks like a scary movie, perfect for a Halloween date; however, it’s much more of a mystery-thriller. Sure, there were one or two parts that made me lose a little popcorn as I jumped, but I was enthralled by the two-hour mystery behind the story.

Edith Cushing, played by Mia Wasikowska, is the beautiful young daughter to a wealthy man in the turn of the 20th century.

Spoiler alert for the first 10-ish minutes: She suddenly loses him after he is inexplicably beaten to death. She then falls in love and marries a man, Sir Thomas Sharpe, played

by Tom Hiddleston, and moves to his enormous and decrepit estate in England: Crimson Peak.

Sharpe’s sister, Lady Lucille Sharpe, played by Jessica Chastain, lives at the mansion with the newlyweds, constantly lurking around Edith.

As Edith begins to meet the ghosts trapped at the manor, she learns about the Sharpe family’s dark and horrifying secrets.

You’ll have to watch the movie to find out why a spirit warned Edith as a young girl to “beware of Crimson Peak.”

I was impressed by the acting and the plot; it is

becoming rare to find a movie that gives you that perfect amount of fright— without making you sleep with a night light for the next week—while still carrying a decent and interesting storyline.

Crimson Peak brings life to those who have died tragically (yes, fictionally, but still tragically) through hope in Edith.

And yes, there is of course a gothic romance.

FYI Cost: Cost: $10 to $14 at most major movie theaters, $15 to $18 at IMAX

LEGENDARY PICTURES 2015

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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INTERNATIONAL

NOBEL PRIZE WINNER SHARES INSIGHT INTO MEASURES OF GLOBAL POVERTY

PRINCETON PROFESSOR LEADS EMPIRICAL RESEARCH IN DEVELOPMENT ECONOMICS YUNI CHOI

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PUBLIC DOMAIN

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

Over the past few weeks, the 11 Nobel Prize laureates were announced. Of these honorary contributors to global society, there was a specific individual whom the international media was particularly interested in: Angus Deaton. Deaton is a professor of economics at Princeton University and was awarded the Nobel Prize in economics this year for his works involving consumption, poverty and welfare.

In 1895, Alfred Nobel— remembered as the inventor of dynamite—drafted his will to give a portion of his fortune to establish special prizes in physics, chemistry, physiology or medicine, literature and peace. The prize in economic sciences was established in 1968

by Sweden’s central bank, Sveriges Riksbank, in memory of Nobel. Since 1901, a total of 900 people and organizations have been awarded Nobel Prizes.

Each year, the Nobel Prize is awarded by the Nobel Foundation in Stockholm, Sweden, to those whose work contributed to “the Greatest Benefit to Mankind.” The Nobel Prize is regarded as the highest form of international award and encourages continuation of dedicated works that enhance the human experience.

In past years, the Nobel Prizes in economic sciences were bestowed upon conservative economists who support the free market and hold critical views of government intervention programs.

Deaton’s works take a different twist; the Nobel Foundation recognized his dedicated scholarship as something valuable for everyone.

Before being appointed as a Professor of Economics and International Affairs at Princeton, Deaton held teaching positions

at Cambridge University and the University of Bristol, Britain. He currently holds both American and British citizenship. On his university profile, Deaton introduces his research as having “focuses on the determinants of health in rich and poor countries, as well as on the measurement of poverty in India and around the world.” According to NobelPrize.org, Deaton’s research deepened the understanding of consumption—of goods and services—in relation to population welfare. Consequently, his works changed modern microeconomics, macroeconomics, econometrics (application of statistical methods to economic anomalies) and development economics. His new insights in these areas further influenced policy-making and the scientific community.

To be more specific, Deaton was recognized for three achievements he has made over many years of study: a system for estimating the demand for different goods, studies of the association between consumption and income, and measuring living standards and poverty in developing nations using reliable household surveys. Of these achievements, his development of a new method in measuring poverty seems to have caused the most public hype.

In a 2010 speech to the American Economic Association, Deaton highlighted the problems in constructing coherent measures of global poverty. Measures of income don’t offer much insight unless they can be thought of in terms of differences in purchasing power. But it is impossible to assess who has more or less purchasing power when people in different countries face different prices and choose to buy different goods. Given this problem, Deaton makes the radical suggestion that economists just ask people about their well-being instead.

Throughout his studies in these nations, Deaton revealed that information about global poverty can be extracted from analysis of individual household surveys. For a long time, surveys have been regarded as unreliable by many economists.

Despite the controversy, Deaton developed detailed questionnaires to supplant gross domestic product statistics as measurements of poverty and welfare. Through the combination of surveys, and theoretical and statistical methods, many poverty-associated factors could be assessed, including living standards, causes of malnutrition and internal sexual discrimination. In developing these tools, Deaton created a valid way to interpret the imperfect data that arises from surveys.

There is something that everyone can take away from this year’s Nobel Prize Laureate in Economic Sciences: In order to combat macro-level problems such as global poverty, it is important to pay attention to the details. Trends in income level or consumption on a national scale may not accurately represent those of individual households.

In order to render effective solutions, it is essential to bridge macroeconomics with microeconomics, theory with reality and a nation with its individuals. “I think putting numbers together into a coherent framework always seemed to me to be what really matters,” Deaton said in the New Yorker.

And what really matters to Deaton is that we have a “moral obligation to reduce poverty and ill health in the world.”

INTERNATIONAL

DEA CUT DEAL WITH SINALOA CARTEL ROBERT EVANS

JOAQUIN “EL CHAPO” GUZMAN, head of the Sinaloa drug cartel, was incarcerated in 2014 but escaped with the help of corrupt prison guards.

While the U.S. Government has spent—and is currently spending—billions of dollars in the War on Drugs in Mexico, the real cost of the war is measured in blood. The New York

Times reported that between 2006 and 2012, “more than 55,000 Mexicans and tens of thousands of Central Americans [were] killed by drug-fueled violence.”

The Sinaloa Cartel is one of the

world’s largest crime syndicates.

Based in northwestern Mexico and headed by the world’s most wanted drug lord, Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, the Sinaloa Cartel leaves a trail of death and destruction in its wake.

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The history of violence within drug cartels highlights the questionable nature of an agreement made between Mexico’s Sinaloa Cartel, the U.S. Department of Justice and the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration. According to an investigation

by El Universal, citing court documents of corroborating Drug Enforcement Administration and Department of Justice testimony, U.S. officials and Sinaloa Cartel officials met 50 times between 2000 and 2012, particularly the period from 2006 to 2012.

According to Business Insider, the Sinaloa Cartel would provide U.S. authorities information about rival drug cartels and, in exchange, the “U.S. would dismiss its case against the Sinaloa lawyer and refrain from interfering with Sinaloa drug trafficking activities or actively prosecuting Sinaloa leadership.”

I interviewed a PSU student and second-generation Mexican-American, Tyler Gonzales-Aguirre, to find out what he thought about the DEA’s deal with the Sinaloa Cartel. He said that the deal was “unsurprising, but it’s important to empathize with

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the Mexican people.” He said that he has had a relative die due to cartel violence and concluded by saying that “the people of Mexico don’t deserve that.”

As reported by National Public Radio, the administration of former Mexican President Felipe Calderon followed the United States’ lead by also favoring the Sinaloa Cartel in the government’s War on Drugs, focusing much more intensely on the Gulf-Zeta Cartel, one of the Sinaloa’s rivals.

While the Sinaloa appeasement strategy is intended to mitigate violence in Mexico, it also had a direct effect on drug-related violence in Chicago, Illinois, as the Sinaloa Cartel provides the lion’s share (70–80 percent) of the drugs, especially heroin, in Midwestern states across the U.S., with Chicago acting as the Sinaloa’s import hub.

While El Universal has no information as to whether the U.S.-Sinaloa Cartel agreement continued past 2012, the arrest of high-ranking Sinaloa members in Chicago and the arrest of the Sinaloa’s boss “El Chapo” Guzman makes it appear that the agreement is no longer in effect.

Despite the effectual end of the United States’ agreement with the Sinaloa Cartel, the Mexican government still seems unable to stop Mexican authorities from aiding the Sinaloa.

Recently, corrupt prison officials allowed Guzman to escape his maximumsecurity prison in Mexico, an even more daring escape considering that U.S. officials had warned the Mexican government about several escape plots in early 2014.

When I asked GonzalesAguirre about corrupt Mexican officials, he said, “Of course they’re corrupt; if someone threatened your family, you’d do probably what they want.”

As college students in the Pacific Northwest, we are very isolated from the violence and fear looming over northern Mexico and the streets of Chicago. Marijuana legalization has steered profits away from violent cartels; however, whenever people buy hard drugs, they are not only hurting themselves but indirectly funding the drug violence destroying people’s lives across North America.

Vanguard | OCTOBER 27, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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