Portland State Vanguard

PORTLAND STATE VANGUARD

VG

NEWS OPINION ARTS & CULTURE SPORTS

FOOD CART INFERNO, AAAGH! P.4 AMERICAN SOCCER IS A THING P. 7 WHY WALK WHEN YOU CAN RIDE? P. 10 USA IS NOT NUMBER ONE P. 15

VOLUME 70 | ISSUE 6 | JULY 28, 2015

The Vanguard is

WRITERS for all sections Apply at psuvanguard.com

CONTENT NEWS OPINION COVER ARTS & CULTURE CALENDAR SPORTS

4 6 8 10 12 14

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

ADVERTISING MANAGER

EDITOR@PSUVANGUARD.COM Turner Lobey

NEUB@PDX.EDU Stuart Neuberger

MANAGING EDITOR

ADVERTISING DESIGNER

MANAGINGEDITOR@PSUVANGUARD.COM Tim Sullivan

Tessa Millhollin

NEWS EDITOR

Reaz Mahmood

NEWS@PSUVANGUARD.COM Colleen Leary

ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR ARTS@PSUVANGUARD.COM Brandon Staley

OPINION EDITOR OPINION@PSUVANGUARD.COM Chelsea Lobey

SPORTS EDITOR SPORTS@PSUVANGUARD.COM Turner Lobey

ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR ASSOCIATENEWS@PSUVANGUARD.COM Lisa Dunn

PRODUCTION MANAGER PRODUCTION@PSUVANGUARD.COM Hunter Sharp

PHOTO EDITOR

ADVISER

ADVERTISING ADVISER Ann Roman

DESIGNERS

Nimi Einstein Elise Furlan Terra Dehart

WRITERS

Brie Barbee, Jacqueline C. Bryan, Phuoc Francis Nguyen, Brenden Leary, John Pinney

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Ahn Duc Do Silvia Cardullo Seleny Diaz Chavelin Gonzalez Christian Profeta Miles Sanguinetti

ADVERTISING SALES Eva Spencer

PHOTO@PSUVANGUARD.COM Jeoffry Ray

COPY CHIEF COPY@PSUVANGUARD.COM Molly K.B. Hunt

ONLINE EDITOR ONLINE@PSUVANGUARD.COM Jaime Dunkle

COPY EDITOR

Alexis Woodcock

MARKETING MANAGER Ryan Brewer

The Vanguard is published weekly as an independent student newspaper governed by the PSU Student Media Board. Views and editorial content expressed herein are those of the staff, contributors and readers and do not necessarily represent those of the PSU student body, faculty, staff or administration. One copy of the Vanguard is provided free of charge to all community members; additional copies or subscription issues may incur a 25 cent charge.

The Vanguard is printed on 40 percent post-consumer recycled paper.

Cover: Nimi Einstein, Elise Furlan and Terra Dehart, Photograph by Christopher Sohler/Vanguard Archives ©2015 PORTLAND STATE UNIVERSITY VANGUARD 1825 S.W. BROADWAY SMITH MEMORIAL STUDENT UNION, RM. S-26 PORTLAND, OR 97201

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Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

3

NEWS

FIRE DAMAGES FOOD CARTS NEAR PSU, CAUSE UNDETERMINED COLLEEN LEARY

A fire broke out July 21 just after 4:30 a.m., damaging and destroying several food carts near the Portland State campus.

The fire affected a row of food carts on a popular pod located across from the Engineering Building on Southwest 4th Avenue between College Avenue and Hall Street. Portland Fire Station

4 is located nearby at 5th and College Avenue, so response time was very short, according to a press release from the City of Portland Fire & Rescue Department.

The news release reported that six total food carts were damaged by the fire. Carts affected include Comfortably Yum, Rice and Noodle, Krua

Bangkok, Fusion Box and Phat Cart.

Portland Fire & Rescue Public Information Officer Rich Tyler said representatives were on the scene July 27 to continue investigation into the cause of and damage by the fire.

As of Monday afternoon, Tyler said, “Our investigators

PEDESTRIANS LOOK OVER THE DAMAGED RICE NOODLE AND COMFORTABLY YUM FOOD CARTS THE MORNING AFTER A RECENT FIRE.

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Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

have determined that [the fire] did start outside the food cart.”

“Propane tanks were not involved in the ignition,” he continued. He added that any other aspects of the fire remain undetermined. This includes the total cost of damages.

The news release mentioned that propane tanks—which are typically used in food carts—

vented for more than an hour following the fire. Tyler clarified that this is in accordance with manufacture specifications, as propane tanks are designed to vent when exposed to increased external heat caused by a fire.

This is a safety function meant to keep the tanks from exploding, and the carts’ tanks functioned properly in the case of this fire.

The newly installed PSU Parklet—which stands within feet of the affected carts—was not damaged in the event.

The food carts not damaged by the fire remain open, and patrons utilized the Parklet Monday afternoon.

Additional reporting by Turner Lobey.

SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD

NEWS

PSU HOSTS SUMMER BLOOD DRIVE LISA DUNN

Portland State and the American Red Cross are teaming up again for the third of four annual campus blood drives this week. From Monday, July 27 to Thursday, July 30, students and non-students alike can sign up to donate blood on the third floor of Smith Memorial Student Union.

In a January issue of the Vanguard, Gwyn Ashcom, the Health Educator for PSU’s Center for Student Health and Counseling and Blood Drive Coordinator, said that PSU and the Red Cross have been doing these blood drives officially since 1979, but the relationship between the two organizations was established much further back than the 1970s.

“We did one as far back as the Korean War in the 1950s,” she said.

PSU hosts these blood drives every term throughout the year. According to Ashcom, the Portland metro region requires roughly 5,000 units of blood every week, and the PSU blood drive provides a significant portion of that blood.

In order for someone to qualify as a donor, they must be in good overall health, at least 110 pounds and at least 17 years of age.

The PSU blood drive is being held in SMSU 327/8/9 and is open July 27 until July 30, 11 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Interested donors must make appointments beforehand.

For more information, please visit redcrossblood.org.

LEFT TO RIGHT: Donor Savannah Russell registers to give blood with the help of Red Cross volunteers Katia Chica and Vittoria Tanisha. Tanisha serves as president of the PSU Red Cross Group, which facilitates regular on-campus blood drives.

JEOFFRY RAY/PSU VANGUARD

CH-CH-CH-CHANGES...

COLLEEN LEARY

Over the summer and spilling into next year, Portland State’s campus is getting a facelift through the implementation of several capital projects. According to PSU’s Finance and Administration website, here’s what’s scheduled to change in the near future:

SCHOOL OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION

With construction scheduled to start in August 2015, PSU’s SBA will receive a new addition at its north end, which includes a new entrance. Project plans also include modernization of the existing SBA structure. Preparation for this project dislocated Electric Avenue, the electric car charging station that used to occupy Southwest Montgomery Street between 6th Avenue and Broadway.

Budget: About $60 million

LINCOLN STATION

Starting in September 2015, light rail service will extend to connect downtown Portland to Milwaukie, in what

willl eventually be the MAX Orange Line, according to the Finance and Administration website. A new transit rail will be installed on Southwest Lincoln Street, in the South of Market Ecodistrict. PSU partnered with Trimet to complete a strategic development plan for this project. The project is not funded by PSU. Budget: $500,000

KOINONIA HOUSE RENOVATION

Also known as the K-house, this two-story structure located near Southwest 6th Avenue and Mill Street will be remodeled to house the Campus Public Safety Office.

A start date for the project is not currently listed.

Budget: $500,000

FOURTH AVENUE BUILDING

Ongoing renovations in the Fourth Avenue Building, located at 4th Avenue and Southwest Harrison Street, include the relocation of the Graduate School of Education, a replacement of a 500-ton chiller and the creation of

several specialized labs, among other projects.

Budget: $5.4 million allocated between the various projects

STUDENT RECREATION CENTER

The fourth floor of PSU’s Student Recreation Center is currently undergoing renovation and expansion, which includes “infilling approximately 3,000 [gross square feet] in a twostory space above the weight room.” According to the website, construction is 25 percent complete.

Budget: $1.4 million

PETER W. STOTT CENTER

The Stott Center, located at 10th Avenue and Southwest Hall Street, currently houses several athletics events, classes and recreational activities. In 2016, the building is scheduled for a major renovation and a 30,000 square foot expansion meant to accommodate advising, tutoring, classrooms and two arenas.

Budget: $45 million For more information, visit pdx.edu/construction

TERRA DEHART/PSU VANGUARD

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

5

OPINION

WHAT MAKES A STORY LAST? Page by Page

by Brie Barbee

How do certain stories—recently the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Game of Thrones series—attract the attention of so many fans? Why these stories, but not others?

Listening to and reciting stories is perhaps one of the oldest and most distinctly human experiences. We all enjoy stories in one form or another—films, books or video games­—making them our chief means of entertainment. For as long as we could speak, there have been stories and people who’ve been enjoying them.

The longest-lasting story to date is thought to be the Epic of Gilgamesh. It was written down nearly 3,000 years ago in Babylonia; its contents still live on today. The tale has been passed down through the generations (hundreds of them!) and written down on stone tablets.

Against all odds, stories like these outlive their creators and become the stuff of legends. They encourage professional retellings (think Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s character Sherlock Holmes) and fan fiction, as well as inspire art, clothing and accessories.

But why these particular stories? What makes them so successful?

If we knew the answers to these questions, every story or movie out there would be an instant success. There would be no bad movies and all books would sell equally well. With the perfect formula right under our noses, there would be no need for risk-taking or innovation. Thankfully, perhaps, no such formula exists.

We might try to find commonalities in the most popular stories of our time, shared character tropes or similar events, but there has never been a foolproof means of capturing this success. Try as we might, despite the hundreds of thousands of new books being published every year in the United States alone, we have not been able to find the secret to the perfect story.

Yet every year (at least), we see the inadvertent rise to popularity of another excellent story. These examples might be works of already well-known writers or directors, but besides that, there is little to suggest which books will get popular and which ones won’t.

For some success stories, it might be as simple as being in the right place at the right time, hitting the market exactly when people are itching to devour it.

But other stories come out of the woodwork, surprising even the market experts who attempt to study them. Harry Potter,

by British writer J. K. Rowling, radically changed the landscape of children’s literature, finding unimaginable success. By taking a risk and telling the story she wanted to tell, it paid off big. Bigger than big.

So if there is no magic formula for the perfect story, how are we supposed to continue to create the stories people want to hear?

It’s the job of editors and film producers to test the waters of their respective markets, so even if we don’t know exactly why stories are popular, that’s not to say we don’t see the patterns.

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ILLUSTRATION BY TERRA DEHART

Right now, fantasy is incredibly popular. Publishing houses are paying more attention than ever to works of fantasy, hoping they will become a commercial success.

Even a series like A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin, which was published in the early 1990s, can make a comeback as the right market comes back around. It was a moderately popular novel until recently, when it became super popular, selling 60 million copies worldwide.

Continuing to create the stories that people want to consume and that might stand the test of time is often a gamble.

But with all the enjoyment and passion stories can spark in us, it would be a shame to stop taking these risks.

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

One of the worst things that could probably happen to us is for people to stop telling stories just because success isn’t guaranteed or because they were afraid no one would like the story they were trying to tell. Many of the stories that have become so popular in the last few years might as well have happened by accident.

To create art is human, and to be human is to make mistakes.

But in order to enjoy the most human forms of entertainment out there—rich and fulfilling stories—we have to be willing to make them, even if we might fail.

And if we are lucky, or if someday we find the secret to the perfect formula everyone’s been looking for, we’ll have a timeless story on our hands—one that will last for centuries.

OPINION

SOCCER IS MAKING ITS NAME IN AMERICAN SPORTS AND IT’S ABOUT TIME

The Bigger Picture

by Brenden Leary

With the recent victory against Japan by the United States Women’s National Soccer Team in the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup, Americans have been recognizing and paying attention to the potential that soccer (otherwise known as football in almost every other country besides the U.S.) has as a growing professional league. We Americans have always had a well-known reputation throughout the world for having a certain disdain toward the game, but that cultural stigma is fading. Soccer is on its way to becoming one of America’s favorite pastimes.

Ever since hosting the 1994 FIFA World Cup, the popularity of soccer as a spectator sport has been booming. The governing body of soccer in the U.S. has stated that “the cumulative attendance of 3,587,538 (during the 1994 cup) broke the previous record by more than one million.” The average attendance for the 52-game tournament of 68,991 still stands today as a record for the largest average attendance. U.S. stadiums were filled to approximately 96 percent capacity during the World Cup. One of the conditions that FIFA imposed on the U.S. in order to host the World Cup was to require they create a professional soccer league, giving birth to Major League Soccer.

With the successes of major professional leagues like the NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL, the “big four” leagues have con-

FIRST LT. RICHARD CULLEN attempts a block for the Seattle Sounders.

stantly overshadowed MLS in viewers since its first games in 1996. MLS has persevered and continues to draw more of an audience, being close competitors to the NHL and NBA in attendance rates. According to a BBC article, “Though the crowds here are significantly smaller than in the Bundesliga in Germany, the Premier League in England and Wales, La Liga in Spain or Serie A in Italy, they are on average bigger than in Argentina, Brazil, China or the Football League Championship.

The Seattle Sounders, America’s most-watched team, attracts larger crowds for home games than Everton, Tottenham, Aston Villa or even Chelsea.”

One of the biggest contributions to their popularity is the rise of participation in youth. In 1974, the amount of registered players in U.S. youth soccer was about 100,000. As of 2014, that number has boomed to more than 3 million. An article in Al Jazeera reported that “almost 90 percent of soccer fans in a recent survey said they have played the sport or have an immediate family member who does.” The rise in participation will only boost the fan base for American soccer and help American culture assimilate the sport.

As one of the 90 percent of fans who have played before, soccer has always been a part of my life. My parents signed me up to play when I was five years old and I continued for eight years.

To me, one of the many reasons why Portland is such an amazing city is because we actually give a damn about MLS. The Pacific Northwest is known as the haven for American soccer fans; the teams of Portland, Seattle and Vancouver are prime examples of just how big MLS can become. With average seating ticket prices ranging from $50–60, overpriced concessions, and a harmonious mix of plastered spectators and die-hard fans, it already sounds like a professional American league game.

Professional soccer has found a home in Portland. People throughout America have taken note of the popularity and more clubs are popping up across the nation. International greats such as Kaká, David Beckham, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and David Villa have either played or been involved in MLS, accumulating an even bigger fan base than ever before.

Big networks such as Fox and NBC are now fighting for airing rights over the Premier League and MLS with bids that are exponentially larger every year.

It’s time to end the myth that Americans are disinterested in soccer. Soccer has proven to be one of the biggest sports throughout the world and continues to inspire devoted fans.

With all the current opportunities, the future for American soccer is as optimistic as ever.

COURTESY OF MASTER SGT. LANCE CHEUNG/U.S. AIR FORCE

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

7

pooooool party!

An Olympic-sized guide to keeping your summer above ground Lisa Dunn Who doesn’t love swimming at high noon during the dog days of summer? It’s hot and sunny, and there’s little solace found in the air conditioning-bereft rentals lining the streets of Portland. Thankfully sweet, watery relief is only a short drive in any direction. There’s Sauvie Island, the North Santiam, the Clack. But you know what sucks about rivers? Rivers are chock full of people who throw their empties into the water, screaming matches between strangers, and dogs pooping, among other pleasantries.

Sometimes you just want to swim in some overly-chlorinated water until your fingers are pruny and your hair is a little green.

Maybe even throw some food onto an open flame and consume it. Hell, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to push your good friend into the shallow end during a game of competitive rock, paper, scissors. Is that so much to ask? No. No, it is not.

But there’s a certain art to throwing a good pool party, one that transcends the sticky popsicle-mouthed gatherings of yesteryear. I’m here to help you throw the ultimate pool party.

step 1:

find a pool This one seems kind of obvious, doesn’t it? You need a pool in order to have a pool party, duh. But it’s harder than you might think in Oregon. I mean, given the whole clean-natural-bodies-of-water thing, pools seem kind of…superfluous. Not to mention it rains nine months out of the year—or it should anyways, amirite Portland?

But no matter where you go in the world, you’ll be able to find at least one family that has money to burn or, at the very least, a public pool with passable cleanliness.

The pool at that one friend’s parents’ house Because, honestly, no one our age owns a home, let alone one with a pool in the backyard. If you want the privacy that comes with one of those fenced-in bean-shaped dudes, you probably need to look to any and all friends who live with their soon-to-be-retired parents while they pay off their student loans.

You’ll know it when you see it: both the parents and the children will have the thousand-yard stare after 25 years of family dinners and arguing over who takes out the trash. But, hey, private pool.

Pros: Private, quiet, no creepy kids around to pick their noses and flick their treasures in the pool. Can drink without getting stared at and/or kicked out.

Cons: Feels like high school, what with the hovering parents or, if said parents are on vacation, a worried host who keeps reminding you not to fucking touch that, Mikey, and for christ’s sake do not use those plates, my mom loves those!

The shitty apartment complex pool in Lake Oswego or Beaverton Your friend is renting one of those generic beigecarpeted apartments in a winding complex on Barbur Blvd. You hate going there because it smells weird and there are always dead-eyed kids playing on the jungle

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ELISE FURLAN & TERRA DEHART/PSU VANGUARD

gym and you can’t for the life of you figure out if you take the third left or the fourth, so you end up driving around yelling your friend’s name until she comes outside to rescue you.

But hey, they have a pool that is generally devoid of people after dark. If you keep things relatively calm, the neighbors are cool with you throwing a little party, as long as Neighbor Dave can come hang out and drink his Twisted Tea. Gew. Pros: Relatively small amount of people use the pool, deep enough to dive into for games and stuff, and there’s patio furniture and one of those questionable barbecues in the corner.

Cons: You have to stay pretty quiet. Plus, you can’t really stop other people—fucking Neighbor Dave—from joining.

The public pool You know what I’m talking about. Swim-band systems, an overwhelming amount of kids running around like crazy and screaming like they’re being stabbed, weirdly wet bathroom floors. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

Alternately, there are quasi-public pools like the one at the Motel 6 on Powell Blvd, which just requires you and your crustiest friends to split the cost of a room in order to use the dubiously clean pool.

Pros: It’s a pool. And, uh, it’s big enough to avoid other people.

Cons: You should probably wear aqua socks.

The kiddie pool in the shared backyard of your duplex A last resort and, perhaps surprisingly, probably your best bet. Water is water, and in this heat, it doesn’t really matter whether you all soak your feet or take turns sitting in the six-inch-deep lukewarm hose water. Something is better than nothing.

Pros: Can take it anywhere. Easy to fill and clean. Can use it in the privacy of your own shitty rental home.

Gives you the appearance of being irreverent, playful.

Cons: Shallow, gets warm really quickly, limited space, really not made for adults.

step 2:

snacks & libations It’s not a party if there’s not a table full of snack food for anxious partiers to hover around, is it? But the question is: how deep into the culinary game do you need to get in order for this party to be worth remembering?

Keepin’ it casual with handfoods People need to be able to punctuate their sick backflips with occasional snacks. It takes a lot of energy to swim around and dunk your friends. At the very least, these finger foods need to be easy to eat, especially with chlorinated, wet hands.

That means no goddamn Cheetos or cheesy poofs. Got it? Do you know what happens when you introduce aerated corn snacks to water?

They melt. Like the Wicked Witch of the West, they morph into the sickest, stickiest gunk known to man, and you will leave your dirty orange finger prints everywhere you go, no matter how many times you go into the water to secretly try to wash them off.

For the love of Marco Polo, just stick to carrot sticks, grapes and maybe, I don’t know, those little finger sandwiches that British people love. Easy cleanup, keeps people full and happy.

The ultimate pool party barbecue If you want to go all out, obviously barbecue is the way to go. But, you know, you should keep it simple, since you don’t want to miss any of the action or start a fire.

Hot dogs are obviously the way to go.

Throw them on for, what, like five minutes or something, I don’t know. Just make sure they get that nice, carcinogenic burnt thing going on. Pile them onto a plate next to some buns and mustard, and sit back while people eat their weight in reconstituted pig hoofs.

mixing Mad Dog 20/20 and an eightfoot-deep pool. But if you are going to drink—which you are, because adults plus pools and whatnot—the world is your proverbial oyster. My personal favorites? Rainier for lighter fare, and the radioactive-blue Splash-tail for something with a tropical twist.

No glass near a pool, by the way.

People are barefoot and generally careless in these situations. They’re too busy cheating at sharks and minnows. Stick to cans and red cups. And if you’re underage, those cans and red cups better be full of ginger ale and Kool-Aid.

step 3:

make a playlist Do you want this to be a bumpin’ party?

People are scared of silence. Don’t make them suffer. Do you want to live like you’re in one of those terrible high school party movies, where people are screaming and destroying shit? You should probably choose some form of what the kids call sticky EDM. Is that right? Sticky? Or is it stanky? Fire? You want to choose something that is “fire.”

I heard that dubstep is cool. You can play chicken to the rhythm of the bass dropping. Cops will be called by your uppity retired neighbors.

Do you like shoegazing?

Sitting quietly in a Jacuzzi considering where the word “Jacuzzi” came from?

(What even is a Jacuzzi? What’s the difference between a Jacuzzi and a hot tub? Ja-coooo-zzi. Juh-coo-zee. Jahcoo-zeeee.) Then you should probably put together a playlist made up of equal parts Explosions in the Sky and Eluvium. Throw in some Iron & Wine and Ryan Adams for good measure, you sad sack.

Do you just kind of want Hot food, lazy hearts to hang out with your Don’t want to worry about open flames? normal friends on a Order a pizza, ya dummy. There’s normal night? something for everyone, even the vegans. Minimal cleanup, maximum delicious.

Drink, drank, drunk Pool parties are nothing if not the sum of their alcoholic parts, right?

Now, I’m not saying I condone drinking alcohol near water. You should obviously use extreme caution when

Maybe things get a little wild when you’re playing rummy and you totally catch Tim cheating, and you call him out. But then things calm down again and you continue to play cards and drink a 6 percent IPA like the predictable dude you are. You should pick a nice mix of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs for those screaming matches and LCD Soundsystem for the cool down.

Do you want to do illegal drugs while swimming around because it totally feels like you’re floating through space?

First and foremost, make sure someone is there to babysit you, and secondly, put on some Battles and Fuck Buttons, and then lie back and enjoy the show.

Arriving in style

I live in a strict no-floppy-hat zone. I think they’re pointless, unless you’re having tea with the Queen or getting drunk at Preakness. But I suppose exceptions can be made for the event of the year. So go ahead. Put on your oversized sunglasses, your garish jewelry, and your inappropriate wedges for the first five minutes of the party.

Just don’t forget the SPF 1,000.

step 4:

don’t forget the accoutrements

The Radioactive Blue Splash-tail:

2 oz. vodka, bottom or top shelf, doesn’t matter.

Vodka is vodka as far as I’m concerned.

Life is in the details, right? No pool party is complete without some ambiance, whether your feet are all splashing around in a kiddie pool or you’re “not” running around the perimeter of the Motel 6 debating whether or not to go to Safari Show Club next door.

You can’t have a pool party without pool tools, both in and out of water.

1 oz. blue curacao 1 oz. Sprite, or 2 oz. if you want to drown it.

1 lime, squeezed 4 more oz. vodka, because 2 oz. is not enough.

Floaties and such The less suited to your age and weight, the better. Duckies, water wings—the works. Floaties made for little kids are not only cheaper, they also signal to potential mates that you’re young at heart.

If you’re afraid of popping a blowup alligator in front of all of your friends, try pool noodles. They’re the pool float that doesn’t quit. Plus, pool noodles double as water guns.

And if you don’t want to buy anything new, no worries. As you are an Oregonian, transplant or otherwise, bring your river raft so you can float around while drinking just like you’re doing Barton to Carver.

Setting the mood Depending on how private this party is, you should never say no to ambient lighting. If you’re going along with the tacky tropical Splash-tail theme for the party, you should definitely invest in tiki torches. If they still make those. If not, just stick a candle on a pole and call it good.

If you’re not so into the idea of your friends running around surrounded by fire or if you’re in a public place that might be a little peeved that you burnt the place down, LED lights are a funky alternative. They come in all the colors of the rainbow—well, almost all the colors. And you can stick them in bushes, under chairs, and in Becky’s tote bag without having to worry about igniting anything. Bonus points if your friends are doing mushrooms.

Pour into whatever cup is most convenient. Make sure you add ice, and, if you’re one of those hosts, a little paper umbrella.

ELISE FURLAN /PSU VANGUARD

step 5:

from theory to practice The only way to find out if I am completely full of shit is to try these steps for yourself. So go on. What are you waiting for? All of your friends are eagerly awaiting your beach umbrellathemed invitations.

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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ARTS & CULTURE

‘ELDER SCROLLS’ MMO BRINGS NEEDED CHANGES TO GENRE BRANDON STALEY

The massively multiplayer online roleplaying game is not in a good place.

Initially popularized by titles like Ultima Online, EverQuest and World of Warcraft, the MMORPG genre has been in decline for the past decade, dragged down as it were by unrelenting waves of creatively devoid clones and tales of hopeless addiction.

Realistically, there’s no way of re-establishing the good name of MMORPGs, but there’s a chance this dying genre might go out in a blaze of glory.

Recently, a new wave of MMORPGs has started to move away from the genre’s restrictive roots into a much more creative place. The Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited is one such game.

You might recognize the title from the wildly success-

ful Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, a single-player game released in 2011 to massive critical and consumer acclaim. While the differences in tone and playstyle between a single-player game and its MMORPG counterpart are usually stark (Warcraft III plays almost nothing like World of Warcraft and is much more farcical), that’s not the case with ESO. It feels every bit an Elder Scrolls game. There are differences, to be sure, but most are for the better.

I’ve been a fan of the Elder Scrolls series since the Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, so I know firsthand how lackluster the combat can be. Most players opt for the sword and shield route out of necessity. Stealth has always been a somewhat slapdash affair that has rewarded players more for their ability to cre-

ate contingency game saves than become adept at sneaking, and magic classes might as well be dumb-firing a stiff breeze for all the good it will do them. ESO fixes most of these problems while adding its own complications.

The simple addition of a sticky lock-on system makes using magic in an Elder Scrolls game finally, blessedly palatable. Hover your cursor on or around an enemy and they glow red, confirming the lock. Fire off a spell and it tracks right to them. It’s not rocket science, but it sure feels like it. Stealth classes also get a host of abilities to change up combat or feign death. It’s nothing revelatory; MMORPGs have had these features for a long time now.

But coupled with the active combat of an Elder Scrolls game—which has been stale

© ZENIMAX MEDIA | 2015

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Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

for a while—small changes feel big.

There’s also ample room for customization in ESO. The more you use a skill (such as a weapon-type or spell), the more it levels up. Eventually you can apply mutations to skills. These mutations offer added attributes like more damage or healing upon hit, among others.

Each class has their own set of skills. You can also become a vampire or a werewolf (which opens a new line of skills), but another player has to bite you. And before you ask: Yes, there are forums where you can arrange to be bitten in-game—we live in fascinating times.

One of ESO’s biggest accomplishments isn’t what it changes, but rather what it doesn’t. Many will claim that immersion is the series’ big-

gest boon: There’s nothing quite like running around a pastoral meadow, icy tundra or ash-choked wasteland in first-person, harvesting wild plants and slicing up bugs that look like dogs. Well, you can do that in ESO. The first-person perspective is a completely valid way to play the game, and the graphics hold up under scrutiny— even on the consoles. I was taken aback by the framerate, which stayed solid even in densely populated, graphicsintensive areas.

The story is an area where, frankly, most MMORPGs sputter, falter and fall flat on their faces. Mounds of text that draw on ubiquitous tomes of lore pile up in quest logs and dialogue boxes, just begging to be skipped. ESO features a fully voiced cast, though, making the story

come to life. Sure, it’s a fantasy story about dread portals opening up and spewing forth the demonic. Yes, the bad guy is a necromancer with a silly name. Of course you’re the chosen one—this is still an Elder Scrolls game, after all.

But the voice acting is top tier, maybe the best the series has ever seen, and many of the actors really sell their roles, making for an endearing yarn.

In one instance I took some time to talk to a few characters that were absently milling around a town. I met a blacksmith’s apprentice who was being harassed by another villager.

I couldn’t do anything about the harassment, just listen. When the village was attacked and I had to choose between defending a fort or the nearby docks, I chose the docks because that’s where the apprentice was.

I can’t say I’ve ever had that kind of experience in an MMORPG, and I believe my decision largely had to do with the quality of the game’s writing and how it’s sold.

When ESO originally released, it came with a hefty price tag: $60 and a monthly subscription to the tune of $15. Since then, ZeniMax Online has wisely dropped the subscription model. There are in-game purchases, but most are for cosmetic items. The game has been out on the PC for over a year and the console versions were released not too long ago. Basically, sales abound and if you can pick up a copy of ESO for less than the market price, all the better.

It’s a massive amount of game for a reasonable price, and the multiplayer focus means you can finally play an Elder Scrolls game with a friend. Or with that naked guy blasting Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” over voice chat in the capital city. Thankfully, some things never change.

ARTS & CULTURE

BANNED SO WE PARTY THE OREGON BREWERS FESTIVAL UNINVITES 10 BARREL AFTER RECENT BUYOUT AISLINN RENNISON

The Oregon Brewers Festival celebrated 28 years of micro-brew drinking last week with 105 different beer samples, both domestic and international. Despite the festival’s success and massive crowds of people, there was one group who did not get to participate in the fun as planned. Based in Bend, 10 Barrel Brewing was banned from serving their beer at the festival, despite their previous years of participation.

Last year, Anheuser-Busch InBev bought out 10 Barrel, making the previously qualified company now illegitimate for the OBF’s participation standards.

The Brewers Association states that an American mi-

cro-brewery must be “small, independent and traditional.” Each of these words comes with a few rules and regulations. For example, in order to be considered small the company must not make more than six million barrels of beer per year.

The problem, however, lies with the word independent, which means “less than 25 percent of the craft brewery is owned or controlled (or equivalent economic interest) by an alcoholic beverage industry member that is not itself a craft brewer.”

A large, non-micro-brew company now owns 10 Barrel, 100 percent. Although 10 Barrel had still been planning on serving at the

OBF, they were told, short notice, that their beer was banned from the drinking festivities.

“We aren’t pissed off, we love this event,” said Mike Moor, employee of 10 Barrel.

However, it seemed that they were a little pissed off.

Employees from 10 Barrel were walking around the OBF together in black T-shirts with a big, bright red X on the front, promoting their created hashtag: #bannedsoweparty.

“We knew it was going to happen,” said a #bannedsoweparty shirt wearing employee, speaking on the basis of anonymity.

“The only thing we are bitter about is that they uninvited us last minute.”

ATTENDEES LINE UP for a pour at the Oregon Brewers Festival.

Although the employees seem to have known the regulations and expected the large buyout to cause their OBF invitation to be rescinded, the company placed a lot of at-

CHRISTIAN PROFETA/PSU VANGUARD

tention on the fact that they were banned at all.

“We still want to be a part of it, so this is us being a part of it,” said the 10 Barrel employee who preferred to stay anonymous.

The regulations are clearly stated and the OBF follows the Brewers Association’s rules. There is only one exception, for Widmer Brothers Brewing Company, because they were one of the three founders of OBF. Other 10 Barrel employees alluded that the shirts, hashtag and party held at their mini pub (directly following the OBF’s closing hours) is simply for promotion.

“We are literally just trying to have a good time and promote some people up to our pub,” Moor said. “Obviously it is disappointing not being able to showcase our beer, so that is why we are doing this.

We just want everyone to be a part of it.”

A BLOODY GOOD TIME WITH ‘THE BLOODY CHAMBER’ LISA DUNN

Once upon a time, there was no such thing as Walt Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Fairy tales were grim fables full of blood, guts and sex. Not everybody got a happy ending, and when they did it came at a price. Life, according to fairy tales told across centuries and cultures, is kind of dark and terrible. Women don’t have agency, and their capital lies solely in their ability to marry. Terrible beasts and ancestral curses crawl and haunt the land.

Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber is a collection of stories that harken back to the old tradition of life being just a teensy bit horrific.

She writes about everything from the legend of Bluebeard to Red Riding Hood. Delightfully dark and disturbing, some of the stories in here will make your skin crawl.

Carter rewrites Bluebeard in the eponymous story, “The Bloody Chamber.” With an

iron maiden, dead bodies and blood pooling on the floor— Carter definitely doesn’t shy away from gore.

Some of the stories in here— “Bluebeard” and the two versions of “Beauty and the Beast”—are similar to the original tales almost to the point of being boring. But Carter turns what looks like boilerplate fairy tale on its head by playing around with the idea of female agency. The hero in “The Bloody Chamber,” for instance, is the protagonist’s mother. It is the strength of motherly love that ultimately saves the girl from her own naivete, the thing which, in most contexts, is supposed to be her saving grace.

Carter takes on the idea that women, and their innocence and virginity, are to be seen as capital—things to be bought, sold and exchanged for goods and services—and instead gives these women

voices and self-awareness.

Marriage is not the ultimate saving grace, and in fact the only good marriages in these stories are the ones the women themselves choose while exercising full awareness. In “The Tiger’s Bride,” the unnamed Beauty notes the injustice of being victim to the whims of her father’s gambling addiction and ultimately being nothing more than a ransom for another round: “I watched with the furious cynicism peculiar to women whom circumstances force mutely to witness folly.”

The Bloody Chamber is short, clocking in at 126 pages, but don’t let that fool you into thinking you can read her collection of updated fairy tales in a day. For such a short book, Carter packs in a lot. Every word counts, and then some.

The prose is rich—decadent almost—entangling.

The syntax is complicated and

oftentimes downright confusing. Carter switches points of view and tenses mid-sentence. The stories are riddled with comma splices and dangling modifiers.

By all accounts, this book should be considered poorly written, and yet it works.

Carter’s writing is so dense with imagery and detail that you can forgive the dizzying sentence structure. In “The Tiger’s Bride,” for instance, she writes, “Everything flowers; no harsh wind stirs the voluptuous air. The sun spills fruit for you. And the deathly, sensual lethargy of the sweet South infects the starved brain; it gasps, ‘Luxury! more luxury!’” It’s just so damn pretty.

By the end, you’re wholly transported to a realm of haunting beauty and decay. Expect to be bogged down. Accept it. Sink into the quicksand.

PENGUIN BOOKS | 1990

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

11

ETC

EVENT CALENDAR

JOHN PINNEY

July 31

July 28 Anthony Bourdain; 6:30 p.m.

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall Fee: $65–200

Perhaps you’ve read one of his books, seen one of his cooking shows or toured the world with him via your TV seat. A fan of meat, irreverence and gruff attitudes on his chefs and the people who love them, this event is titled “Close to the Bone.” It’s a very Anthony Bourdain monologueheavy set. I suggest YouTubing him to get an idea of what kind of host he is before you shell out the bucks for these, because not all people like him. (I’m a fan, though, and the open Q&A afterwards would be delicious to attend.)

Boogie Nights; 7 p.m.

Whitsell Auditorium Fee: $8

July 29

Also playing on Aug. 1 at 4 p.m., this movie introduced a lot of people to Mark Wahlberg. And yes, that is John C. Reilly as a porn star and yes, Burt Reynolds plays everybody’s boss. To be honest, this movie is pretty revolutionary for a lot of reasons. It’s honest, unflinching and ironically unsexy. It’s kind of like if That 70’s Show really went for realism and it somehow worked. If you’ve never seen this movie, before and can handle adult themes, you really need to see it, if for no other reason than to watch Heather Graham spend the entire movie in roller skates, including sex scenes.

OMSI After Dark; 7–11 p.m.

Pickathon

OMSI Fee: $13

Pendarvis Farm, Eugene, OR Fee: $260 (Weekend pass)

Be aware if you plan to go to the OMSI at any point between reading this advert and when school gets back into session that the CL Line (which would normally end at the OMSI) is currently under renovation and won’t be back up until the Orange Line to Tilikum Crossing and Milwaukie gets underway—or maybe a little before. This OMSI after dark focuses on energy and speed.

21+

This three-day festival focusing on folk and Americana is sort of a non-Portland Portland staple. A few folks from the theater department work the event (somebody’s gotta set up those six stages, right?), so say “hi” if you’re down there! You’ve probably seen the posters for this one with that creepy goat face. Definitely more geared toward family audiences while diminishing normal festi-

val hassles, if you’ve never been and really love the music style, it’s definitely worth the hefty ticket price. I think most people camp for that weekend, too.

Watershed Festival

The Gorge Amphitheatre Cost: $200

So the headliners of this country festival definitely sway this more toward the pop spectrum than the folk spectrum. The headliners this year are Carrie Underwood and Dierks Bentley and that should tell you all you really need to know.

Laser Def Leppard

OMSI Fee: $8

Bear in mind that the CL Line is still closed off, so you’ll have to take a car. And also the planetarium is not part of the museum ticket price, so know which you’re getting since you buy the tickets in the same line. That being said, OMSI is really trying to get people interested in the planetarium and it’s out of this world! The last show is usally at 3 p.m. so plan your day accordingly.

Hello Kitty Festival; 12 p.m.

Moda Center Memorial Coliseum Fee: $25

Everything I know about Hello Kitty I learned from RuPaul’s Drag

Race, so unless you have someone that really loves Hello Kitty I can only tell you that Sanrio is the company that created “her” (is Hello Kitty defined as a she?) and all of zhe’s friends, including the one that looks like a sad penguin.

It’s not my jam, but it might be yours although I’m not sure if you need to go all weekend.

Tarantino coaching Pam Grier to be a bad-to-the-bone momma getting revenge on the people who wronged her. Yes, that is Samuel L. Jackson, and Jane Fonda plays a stoner surfer. Roger Ebert wanted an even longer running time after seeing it, so buckle in, darlings!

Aug. 1

Funhouse Lounge Fee: $16–20

Inclusive Cycle; 2–6:30 pm

You probably saw this little internet movie that could, written by Joss Whedon-not-yet-taintedby-Marvel. Written, performed and produced during one of the writers’ strikes, this little gem of a film has been made into a live theatrical adaption of the web series. I don’t know who’s playing Captain Hammer, but they have really big superhero boots to fill.

Eugene, Oregon

Everyone is welcome to this event, but it is definitely more geared towards bikers that use adaptive technology to get around. There are options to bike anywhere from five to 40 miles and everyone finishes with some blackberry pie. Yum! Any questions should be directed to Jen Armbruster at (503) 725‑2927.

FREE

Jackie Brown; 7 p.m.

Quentin Tarantino’s homage to blackspoitation films (I think he was going for homage—it’s billed a crime drama but let’s call it like we see it) is probably best known for the spoof Beyoncé pulled off in the third Austin Powers movie.

Beyond that, this specific film is

A celebration of everyone’s favorite Portland-based body of water (and I’m not talking about Charlie Hales), even for the people that think it’s poisoned. (Note: If anything, the Willamette is totally not the river from the Simpsons that produces multi-eyed fish.

Most likely.) The Grand Ronde

Whitsell Auditorium Fee: $9

Flicks on the Bricks Pioneer Courthouse Square

I’ve been to this a few times over the past few years and it’s always a blast. Do remember to always bring something to sit on because otherwise Flicks on the Bricks becomes Flicks with a side of back pain! These free Friday evening movies feature different bands and free food and swag from 101.9 Kink. Always family friendly (including one year where the print of E.T. just wasn’t feeling it, apparently), these movies tend to start at dusk, but don’t just show up at dusk or you’ll never find a seat.

July 31: The Lego Movie: That one where Chris Pratt voices a Lego character and Morgan Freeman plays Lego Gandalf. You may also remember this as the movie with that song you couldn’t get out of your head (not “Let It Go”).

12

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

FREE

Aug. 3 Move On Tour; 7:30 p.m.

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall Fee: $59–91

Once again proving how little I’m keeping in touch with the times, I am just now finding out that Dancing with the Stars alum Derek Hough is performing a dance concert with his sister Julianne Hough (who I think used to host Biggest Loser). Anyways, he’s dreamy and she’s fit so it probably works.

Aug. 2 The Willamette River Revival Cathedral Park

FEATURED EVENT

UNIVERAL PICTURES | 1985

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog

Tribe, along with a whole bunch of Willamette-based businesses, are hosting a festival featuring guided walks, live storytelling and a salmon bake. The salmon bake probably isn’t free, but the live folk music is.

FREE

21+

PSU FREE OPEN TO PUBLIC 21 & OVER

Aug. 7: Grease Sing-A-Long: It’s that movie that celebrates changing for your man with such clever hits as “Summer Nights” and “Greased Lighting.”Definitely more PG, but I think the kids miss most of the adult references.

Aug. 14: The Breakfast Club: Five teenagers (all from the Brat Pack) spend a Saturday incarcerated in the school library and learn that they’re not as different as they thought. Starring the guy that would later coach the Mighty Ducks and that girl from Sixteen Candles.

Aug. 21: Mrs. Doubtfire: I miss Robin Williams so much. Here he plays a divorced dad who does nanny drag so he can see his kids.

May be triggering for people from a divorced family, but also has Sally Field in it as the stern mother that just won’t let Robin Williams’ character be fun and fancy free.

ETC

HOROSCOPES JOHN PINNEY

Leo (July 23â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Aug. 22)

If the Mummy movies have taught me anything, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that going to Egypt is a rookie mistake. Not only is it hot, but nine times out of ten youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll meet a mummy out for revenge.

Virgo (Aug. 23â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Sep. 22)

Everyone has that mysterious boxintheattic,Virgo,butsometimesleavingwellenoughalone will keep you from looking into amirrorthatwillbringyourevil reflection into the real world.

Libra (Sep. 23â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Oct. 22)

Dummies are creepy and proof that the devil walks among us. You want an innocent new hobby? Stay away from dummies and magic.

Maybe try ghost- hunting.

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Aquariust (Jan.20-Feb.19)

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not funny to trick someone into thinking things that donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exist do exist. Because nine times out of ten, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re actually speaking that thing into existence.

Why canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t you just appreciate the costume your mother makes you for Halloween? Trying on some old person mask wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make you cool, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll just make you old and grumpy.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Dec. 21)

Capricorn (Dec. 22â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Jan. 19)

Premonitions are tricky things, Cappi. You might think one thing is happening but then find out that your next door neighbor is a ghost who saved your life. Or tried to.

ACROSS 1 Dry out in specially heated container? (9) 6 Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s unbounded gluttony, eating up the Indian bread... (5) 9 ...eating greedily, having energy for nothing, to be truthful (9) 10 Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a loaf around with two 3s (5) 11 Old soakâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s knocked back litre of alcohol (6) 12 3 needs a room without high rent (8) 13 Sounds like specialised skill? Not at all (5) 14 Appearing nervous of spelling test, first and foremost? (9) 17 Quiet, brave chap has lots of dosh â&#x20AC;&#x201C; thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an attractant (9) 18 3 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the real one? (5) 20 Advise old Leo to make new plans? (8) 23 Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s funny in a way?

On the contrary, 3â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s transported by it (6) 25 Authorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ebb associated with Ecstasy? (5) 26 Note leaves create train chaos â&#x20AC;&#x201C; delay results (9)

Taurus (April 20â&#x20AC;&#x201C;May 20)

People have been intrigued by the idea of cross-pollination for a long time, but there are just some things that shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be made into a hybrid. Chihuahuas are proof of this.

Pisces (Feb. 20â&#x20AC;&#x201C;March 19) Gemini (May 21â&#x20AC;&#x201C;June 20)

If campers at your summer camp start disappearing on you or getting mysteriously injured, chances are that you were actually all ghosts the whole time and none of it is real.

CROSSWORD

8 2 6 9 3

Scorpio (Oct. 23â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Nov. 21)

Do us all a favor this week and just be careful of what you wish for. Sometimes wishing to be a graceful ballerina can have dark consequences.

When you make a new friend, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always good to have common interests to bond over. For instance, stopping your evil aunt from taking over the world with a giant cat.

Aries (March 21â&#x20AC;&#x201C;April 19)

Cancer (June 21â&#x20AC;&#x201C;July 22)

Zombies that are afraid of sunlight are proof that sun can be good for you at the right moments. So lather on the sunscreen and head outside this week!

If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going to steal things, make sure theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not cursed items. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d hate for you to take a camera from someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s house only to find it shows you the most disturbing future possible.

COURTESY OF ALBERICHCROSSWORDS.COM

27 One used to hear about second ending of Heartbreak Ridge (5) 28 Nothing by English novelist mentioned colour (4,5) DOWN 1 Miles ahead of 3? (7) 2 Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lucky Regina puts on stockings before boot (9) 3 A clue for how to find Gallifreyan? (6,3) 4 Reassuring status report when in a frenzy? (4) 5 Be delighted by arrest in eastern Greece (9) 6 Time a boozer raised capital (5) 7 Dog drinks a bit of orange tea (5) 8 New driver in Prague breaking sound barrier (7) 14 Channel Tunnelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s opening just after 3 (9) 15 Struggling clubâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s recovering? (9) 16 Frequency of occurrence of violent events, say (9) 17 3 written with forward slash (7)

19 Agreement Northern Territory held in the past (7) 21 3â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arch foe is â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;ealthy, residing in Denmark (5) 22 Cut and run after the woman joins Academy (5) 24 Ethical but unmarried, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s said (4)

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

13

SPORTS

EIGHT SIMPLE DAILY MUSTS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE JACQUELINE C. BRYAN

Staying healthy can often seem like a lot of work, especially when you’re busy trying to keep up with things like school and work. Don’t fret! I have some solutions that are the definition of keeping it simple. Incorporate these little changes into your daily life, and you’ll be surprised the ways your physical and mental health improves, slowly but surely.

Hot water with lemon: First thing in the morning, boil some water, pour it into a cup and squeeze some lemon into it. Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, it turns out the benefits are amazing. Lemon water can reduce inflammation, help with digestion, assist with weight loss, cleanse your system and freshen your breath, among other things.

Hydrate: I cannot stress this enough—hydration is everything. We’ve all heard that we should drink eight cups of water per day, but re-

ally, that’s just a bottom line.

It really depends on your body weight, lifestyle, environment and so on. If it’s the middle of summer and you’re out all day working in your garden with the sun beating down on you, you should probably be drinking more water than usual. A good rule of thumb is to carry around a bottle of water with you and take a few sips every 20 minutes or so.

Stretch yo’ body: It’s a good thing to stretch in the morning, since this is when your body is still waking up.

Doing a round of yoga or even some simple stretches can help warm up your muscles, get your blood pumping, and inspire you to take bigger and deeper breaths. After a 10-minute stretch, you’ll feel more awake and energized.

Portion smartly: Truthfully, we humans should be eating as many veggies as we can. Whether you’re vegan, vegetarian or a meat-eater,

START YOUR DAY with a stretch to get the blood circulating.

14

you should be portioning your meals with as many vegetables as possible. A good rule of thumb is that vegetables should take up at least 60 percent of your plate. Green trumps all!

Juice it up: If you have a hard time getting fruits and veggies into your diet on a daily basis, the easiest way to remedy this is to make juice in the morning. You can either invest in a fancy juicer, or you can keep it simple and just use a blender. The important thing to remember is to incorporate as much color variety into each juice as you can by choosing different fruits and veggies of different colors. Additionally, try to change up your juices at least every few days so you’re, again, getting as much variety as possible.

Move yo’ body: I’m not asking you to go on a 10K run. In fact, I don’t even like running, so that would be insanely hypocritical of me

PUBLIC DOMAIN

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

to suggest. What I am asking you to do is go on a little walk, jog, hike or bike ride at some point during your day. Maybe instead of taking the MAX to school, opt to ride your bike.

Or, at the very least, walk around your neighborhood in the evenings. Or, hell, just have some good old-fashioned sex. The bottom line is to get your body, breath and spirit moving.

Vent it out: OK, let’s be honest—most of us have a really hard time talking about our feelings. What we maybe don’t realize is the large impact this has on our physical and mental health. Repressed emotions literally weigh us down and sink into areas of our lives that we would never think possible. Therefore, don’t be too embarrassed to reach out to a friend, family member or maybe even a friendly stranger to vent about things that are bothering you. At the very least, write it all down. Just get it out!

Get your Zs in: I know nighttime seems to be the ideal time to get homework done or crunch in some lastminute studying, but staying up late and losing out on sleep does more harm than good. Do yourself a favor

by going to bed at a reasonable time so you can get up a couple hours before class and get some studying in then. Feeling rested is going to completely transform the way you function on a day-today basis.

A DAILY BIKE RIDE is a great light exercise to get your body moving.

COURTESY OF CHRISTOPHER THOMAS THROUGH CREATIVE COMMONS VIA FLICKR

SPORTS

THE U.S. ENDS GOLD CUP ON A SOUR NOTE COMMENTARY BY PHUOC FRANCIS NGUYEN

The United States has been in every Gold Cup Final since 2005. This year, the team looked to replicate its decade of success.

In 2005, the U.S. won in penalty kicks over Panama after the regulation match ended scoreless. Since that win, Mexico and the U.S. have both won twice. In the semifinal, Jamaica looked to stop the five final consecutive appearances of the Americans. In 22 previous meetings, Jamaica had only one win against the U.S., which was in September 2012. Nobody picked Jamaica to win. The Caribbean nation has never advanced to the final of the Gold Cup. A David vs. Goliath analogy was used by Jamaica’s head coach, Winfried Schafer, in his pregame interview.

Jamaica received its spot in the 2015 semifinal clash by relying on speed, counters and creating off-set pieces.

It won Group B by drawing against Costa Rica and gaining one-goal victories over Canada and El Salvador. Jamaica moved through the quarterfinals with its third

straight one-goal victory over Haiti.

The U.S. made it to its eighth consecutive Gold Cup final by winning Group A with one-goal victories over Honduras and Haiti and a 1–1 draw against Panama. In the quarterfinal, the U.S. faced off against Cuba. The U.S. fired on all cylinders for the first time in the whole tournament, resulting in a 6–0 win, including four first-half goals.

Goal scorers included a hat trick by Clint Dempsey, Gyasi Zardes, Aron Johannsson and Omar Gonzalez.

U.S. kicks off against Jamaica At Atlanta’s Georgia Dome, the matchup took place with a spot in the final at a soldout Lincoln Financial Field on the line. The U.S. used a 4–2–3–1 formation. The back four consisted of Brad Evans (in place of Timothy Chandler due to injury), Ventura Alvarado, John Anthony Brooks and Fabian Johnson. The two defensiveholding midfielders were Kyle Beckerman and Michael Bradley. Johannsson started as the lone forward, with

Dempsey right below him and Zardes and Alejandro Bedoya as wingers.

Jamaica employed a 4–4–2 formation. Its two strikers were Giles Barnes and Darren Mattocks. At midfield, they had Jobi McAnuff, Jevaughn Watson, Rodolph Austin and Garath McCleary. In the backline, Jamaica had Kemar Lawrence, Wes Morgan, Michael Hector and Adrian Mariappa. Brad Guzan was the man behind the post for the U.S. while Ryan Thompson would do the same for Jamaica.

In the first half hour of the game, it looked like the U.S. would have a scoreline similar to its latest win over Cuba. But it was not meant to be, as the Reggae Boyz kept the Americans off the board. In the thirtyfirst minute, Lawrence threw a long throw inside the box to Mattocks, who headed it far post, past Guzan, to put Jamaica up 1–0. The goal was against the run of play where the U.S. dominated possession and chances until that goal.

Five minutes later, Barnes

took a free kick from outside the box and hit it near post, past Guzan, to put them up 2–0. The U.S. would go down two goals at the half. In the forty-eighth minute, Thompson failed to corral a routine shot, allowing Dempsey to take a shot, which was blocked. The rebound was followed up by Bradley past an empty net to make it 1–2.

Thompson would continue to struggle for the rest of the half.

Head coach Jurgen Klinsmann needed to get an equalizer and turned to substitutes Mix Diskerud, Alan Gordon and DeAndre Yedlin, to no avail. The equalizer never came, and the Reggae Boyz celebrated on the field when the final whistle blew. The fans in the stands shouted once they realized the upset had been completed.

Jamaica’s final matchup opponent was Mexico, who won 2–1 in extra time over Panama. El Tri scored a late equalizer in a controversial call by referee Mark Geiger to give Mexico a penalty kick that was converted by Andres Guardado. Geiger

awarded another penalty kick for Mexico in the stoppage time of the first extra time.

Guardado converted once again to make it 2–1, which was the final score. Panama played with 10 men from the twenty-fifth minute, when Luis Tejada was sent off with a red card. After angering the fans, Geiger had to be escorted off the field.

The third-place game against Panama at Philadelphia’s PPL Park proved to be a disaster of a finish to the Gold Cup for the U.S. After a goal-less first half, Panama struck first in the fifty-fifth minute, when Rolando Blackburn found Roberto Nurse. The U.S. would answer in the seventieth minute, when Yedlin picked out a pass to find Dempsey, who finished.

The game ended with a penalty shootout. Panama made three of their four penalties to win it 1–1 (3–2). The U.S. converted their first two shots but

failed to make another.

U.S. vs. Mexico In front of a supportive crowd of 68,930 at Philadelphia’s Lincoln Financial Field, Mexico secured their spot to face off against the United States. Mexico will face off against the Americans after a 3–1 win over Jamaica. Andres Guardado came up big again by scoring a sensational volley past Thompson in the thirty-first minute. Jesus Manuel Corona and Oribe Peralta added goals in the forty-seventh and sixtyfirst minutes to make it 3–0.

Mattocks would score in the eightieth minute for the Reggae Boyz to make the final score 1–3.

The dream matchup of the United States against Mexico on October 9 will most likely be played at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, Calif., which will surely sell out all 92,542 of the stadium’s seats. The winner will get a spot in the 2017 Confederations Cup in Russia.

Vanguard | JULY 28, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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