Portland State University

PORTLAND STATE Vanguard

A look into PSU’s sustainable and local food options on campus

VOLUME 69 | ISSUE 32 | May 5, 2015

Let knowledge

feed the students NEWS

OPINION

aRTS & CULTURE

SPORTS

ASPSU confirms officers. pg. 6 new round of candidates for student government elections. Polls close May 6 at 7 p.m. pg. 5

We're talking campus. pg. 9 water! Specifically, the California drought and Nestlés move toward Cascade Locks. pg. 8

Instagram pients. pg. talk 16 gets into the finer qualities of the app, like dog poop. pg. 17

Marathon.

L o o k i n g pg. t o 23 shed the pounds?

Why not shed your clothes? pg. 22

The Vanguard is

Multimedia and news reporters Apply at psuvanguard.com

CONTENT NEWS OPINION COVER ARTS & CULTURE CALENDAR SPORTS

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NEWS

don’t shoot pdX calls for change at may day rally lISA DUNN

Don’t Shoot PDX and 15 Now PDX organized a May Day rally and protest in the Park Blocks behind Smith Memorial Student Union on May 1. More than 50 people gathered initially. The crowd grew substantially during the half hour rally.

People held red “Black Lives Matter” signs and chanted.

Several people brought homemade signs. One sign read, “Is humanity a human rights issue? Support the Black/African Revolution.”

Several people got up in front of the crowd and spoke.

One woman, Amy Driscoll, said, “Everybody has a story.

But this is about Black Lives Matter. I’m tired of seeing my brothers and sisters continually profiled out there…It’s about having a conversation.

If you’re scared, listen. You don’t have to give an opinion.

That doesn’t mean you don’t have something to offer, but listen to the story…This pain is real.”

Driscoll continued, “There’s a change coming, and we’re going to break [the system]. You know what? Change is coming.”

One woman got up in front of the crowd and spoke about her cousin who was murdered by police in Prince George County outside of Baltimore 15 years ago. She said this isn’t a new issue, and that she stood in a crowd similar to this one when she was 10 years old.

“Your mainstream media is bullshit,” the woman continued. “You care about the broken windows at CVS. I care about the severed spine of Freddie Gray.” She then started a “no justice, no peace” chant.

Antonio Greeley, a student at PCC, said this march is for everyone.

“It’s just another form of slavery,” Greeley said. “If we don’t

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fight, there won’t be change…

Everybody has a story…everybody that’s out here today can make a difference.”

The organizers of the rally then announced the beginning of the protest march.

The march headed toward the PSU Market Center Building in order to express solidarity with students fighting rising tuition and then made its way downtown.

After the rally made its way toward MCB, Francisco Holdman, a graduate of PSU, said 15 Now PDX and Don’t Shoot PDX/Black Lives Matter are connected because exploitation and oppression are at the root of both issues.

“The criminalization of black people is because they’re being exploited economically,” he said. “Statistically speaking, in the last 50 years, African Americans have gone backwards. We’re fighting for basic human rights.”

“There’s so many systemic problems,” he continued.

“It’s sad that it takes somebody dying to talk about this.”

“We’re moving to a police state,” Holdman said. “The reality is, the more guns there are, the more people will get shot. Something’s got to give.”

Several hundred people participated in the march through downtown, blocking traffic and public transit. Police attempted to control the crowd by using pepper spray and flash bangs.

Protesters moved to SW 4th and Yamhill, where they blocked the street and MAX line in front of the Apple store. Several people voiced their concerns about police brutality over a shared megaphone. They dispersed around 8 p.m. while some congregated at the Pioneer Courthouse Square.

Additional reporting by Jaime Dunkle.

Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

STUDENT aCTIVIST aLySSa PagaN (second from right) rallies a crowd of demonstrators as Portland State Student Union representative Leona Kindermann (second from left) speaks on social justice in front of the Market Center Building.

SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD

PROTESTERS gaTHER before the Market Center Building after marching from the PSU Park Blocks during a May Day rally.

SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD

yOUNg PEaCE PROTESTERS join a crowd of protesters marching in solidarity with protesters against police brutality in Baltimore, MD.

SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD

NEWS

Meet the 2015 ASPSU executive candidates: round two EVAN bIRKElAND AND MIlES SANgUINETTI

The Associated Students of Portland State University Judicial Review Board voted April 22 to restart student government elections, citing an effort to create a fully democratic process for student voters.

The decision came in the wake of a J-board vote to deem Dr. Khalid Alballaa, the presidential candidate of Students for Affordable Education, ineligible to hold office, leaving former Multicultural Affairs Director Tony Funchess, of the Step Up, Speak Out, Stand Together slate, the only candidate running for president.

ASPSU reopened candidate applications until April 28. After eligibility checks were completed, ASPSU announced an updated list of candidates.

There are four declared slates and several independent candidates on the ballot.

Of these candidates, there are 4 presidential and vice presidential teams, 19 Student Fee Committee candidates and 22 Senate candidates. Voters can also write in candidates.

The four slates are Let Knowledge Serve the CommUNITY; Students Together for Advocacy, Reform and Tomorrow (START); Student Power Coalition; and Students for Students.

Ballot-registered candidates gathered April 30 at a candidate meet and greet event in Smith Memorial Student Union, where candidates had the opportunity to speak on behalf of their campaigns.

Kaitlyn Verret, President, Let Knowledge Serve the CommUNITY According to Verret, one of the chief goals of her slate is to engage students.

“It’s a commuter school, so everyone has their own little groups,” she emphasized. “[We are] putting the unity back in community… getting the glue back into our community.”

The slate’s name, she explained, partially incorporates PSU’s slogan “Let knowledge serve the city.”

“Especially after last year with the elections and this year with all the drama, and obviously our slate kind of incorporates it, but getting the community and the unity back, so getting more students involved, feeling like it’s a safe and inclusive space and spreading knowledge about ASPSU,” Verrett said.

In light of the conflicts that she mentioned, Verret added that another of her goals is centered on garnering more cooperation within ASPSU and PSU, even among parties that differ from one another.

“Even if we all aren’t crazy about each other, we disagree, if we all can come together to actually get the key issues addressed and worked on, then things can get done and it doesn’t matter if we’re all best friends,” Verret said.

Before the election was restarted by the J-Board, Verret was the vice presidential candidate for the slate Step Up, Speak Out, Stand Together alongside presidential running mate Tony Funchess.

Now running for student body president, she explained some of her reasons for supporting Tali Aynalem, her new slate’s vice presidential candidate.

“She’s great at socializing with people and getting people to come together,” Verret said.

“She’s great at organization and motivating people, so I thought she’d be a great vice president.”

DaNa gHaZI aND DaVÍD MaRTINEZ Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates for Student Power Coalition SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD

Dana Ghazi, President, Student Power Coalition

aNDy MayER aND KEIKOaNNE HOLLINS Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates for Students for Students SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD

KyLE SaLLEE aND DONOVaN POWELL Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates for START MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

Tali Aynalem, Vice President, Let Knowledge Serve the CommUNITY Aynalem spoke about what she brings to the table as Verret’s new running mate.

“I started to attend PSU in September,” Aynalem said.

“I am a part of…the Jewish Student Union, the Black Student Union, the [Black Cul-

tural Advisory Board], the African Association. So I bring a very diverse background, and I feel like I can really help to bring the community back together at PSU.” One topic that Aynalem particularly wants to address, should she be elected, is the ASPSU Student Food Pantry, stating that improvements could benefit student athletes who might not have time to work due to their academic and athletic obligations.

“I think that bringing that to a different level to where we have more food there and we have more toiletries and more students are aware of it and it’s open for more than two hours [per weekday],” Aynalem said.

KaITLyN VERRET aND TaLI ayNaLEM, Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates for Let Knowledge Serve the CommUNITY MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

Ghazi, presidential candidate for the Student Power Coalition, said her slate is tied together by their commitment to representing diverse student voices.

“That’s something unique to our slate—that it’s the most diverse slate,” Ghazi said. “I’m really very happy and inspired that we have so many women running for so many of the positions.”

Ghazi added that one of her slate’s main goals relating to diversity is to make PSU’s campus a more inclusive place. Sexual assault in particular, she said, is a significant focal point of the Student Power Coalition’s direction.

“There hasn’t been a lot of engagement from students around this issue recently in the past few terms and around how to ensure security but also safety for the students themselves and for sexual assault victims, so we want to ensure this is at the forefront of what we are doing,” Ghazi said.

Citing preexisting efforts toward creating a unilaterally welcoming campus, Ghazi said collaborating with other stu-

dents on issues of inclusivity is a priority.

“The only thing we could add is [to] introduce measures where these services are more accessible…introducing it in different languages, having trainings around cultural competency and sexual assault and how it’s expressed across culture.”

Davíd Martinez, Vice President, Student Power Coalition “We are very diverse,” Martinez said. “We have students from Africa, students from southeast Asia, students from Latin America, students from Mexico.”

Additionally, according to Martinez, unlike many of the slates he has seen in the past at PSU, most of the Student Power Coalition’s candidates are women.

“We want to break those habits of student government when the man is always the president and the woman is the vice president,” Martinez said.

He added that another goal of the Student Power Coalition is to end what he perceives as a tendency of student government to speak on behalf of groups not actually represented within the governments themselves.

“For me as a student, I think a student government should speak up so the students [can] have more voice in the decision,” Martinez said. “I feel there was not enough voice or participation from the students in general, and that’s something that I want to change, too. I want to get students engaged with student government and participate more.”

Kyle Sallee, President, START Sallee transferred from Willamette University in 2013. He is

Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

See aspsu on page 6

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aspsu

NEWS

Continued from page 5 majoring in history and considering a future law degree.

Sallee said his focus as student body president would be on mental health issues.

“We feel it’s incredibly important to bring a dialogue [about] mental health issues on campus because it’s not talked about, and it should be,” Sallee said.

Sallee’s previous political experience includes an Associated Student Body presidency at Scappoose High School, a chair position in the Highway 30 Safety Board, and an Oregon Congressional Internship.

“Our second plan is a longitudinal study of ASPSU,” Sallee said. “The study will incorporate ASPSU’s effectiveness to communicate with the student body.”

“Following that study, we’re hoping to start immediately restructuring PSU,” he added.

In Sallee’s candidacy statement for ASPSU, he said, “Going forward, I hope to inspire a sense of pride and ownership on this campus to reverse the disenfranchised culture that runs so deep. It is time for a new face inside ASPSU.”

Donovan Powell, Vice President, START

a board which restructured ASPSU’s constitution.

“ASPSU, historically, is a powerhouse in the [Oregon Student Association], a powerhouse in legislature, and we’re known for taking people and getting them somewhere,” Powell said in his slate’s presentation.

“If we want to better represent students, then we need to know what they want to be represented on,” he added.

Powell discussed one of his slate’s three major platforms: the creation of a student hub, which would increase ASPSU’s visibility and allow for more direct communication between ASPSU and students.

Powell is majoring in social science and minoring in law and legal studies. He has two years’ experience in ASPSU, though he is not part of this year’s student government body.

Powell co-chaired the Visions and Reform Committee,

Mayer is an engineering major in his third year at PSU. He has been a member of the

property,” to alleviate this problem for students.

“The task force reviewed and investigated initiatives and strategies to reduce the costs of textbooks and course materials for PSU students,” Moody said. “We looked at a broad range of possibilities and reviewed models and initiatives successfully used by other colleges and universities. We then developed a set of 14 recommendations and strategies for their implementation.”

The report provides a list of other university systems that are used as models in developing PSU’s successful system.

Examples include the California State University system providing students with free or low cost digital textbooks, and University of Massachusetts’ library that functions exclusively for textbooks.

Many of the recommendations revolve around the PSU library. One of the most effective strategies the task force advocates is to use open textbooks and other open resources at the library, such as the pilot PDX Open reThink project.

“More than 200 students enrolled in these pilot courses and saved from $100 to $141 in one term for a total savings of $23,805.6” the report states.

“We have already begun initiatives on campus to create and use more open textbooks and course materials,” Moody said. “The recommendation to ASPSU to facilitate student-to-student textbook reuse through strategies such as organizing textbook swaps could also happen quickly.

Policies promoting the early adoption of textbooks and other course materials so that students can have time to find the cheapest purchase price can also have an immediate impact.”

When asked if the task force has faced any challenges, Moody said, “The task force had to review a huge amount of information and think about many different possibilities. It was a challenge to narrow our recommendations down to those with the greatest potential impact for PSU students.”

Although some implementations may take longer than others, students will begin seeing results in the next academic year.

Andy Mayer, President, Students for Students

SFC for the past year and now serves as SFC Chair.

“We’re trying to focus on what we can actually do next year,” said Mayer. “Overall, we’re working towards a safe and inclusive environment on campus. What that means for us is revamping the University sexual assault policy.”

Mayer’s slate will also focus on the Campus Public Safety Office’s policing practices after they are deputized next year.

“Eighty-five percent of students say they feel that they’re safe on campus all the time,” Mayer said. “We want to make sure that what they’re afraid of isn’t our own officers.”

In Mayer's ASPSU candidacy statement, he also addressed higher education costs and student debt.

“I’ve chosen between textbooks and groceries, all while working 20 hours a week for the university for minimum

wage,” he said. “These are problems that need to be addressed now, not later, and I’m looking to do that.”

Keikoanne Hollins, Vice President, Students for Students Hollins is a senior majoring in Child and Family Studies. She has served as a member of the SFC for the past academic year and is currently SFC Vice Chair.

Hollins stressed the importance of fighting increases in student fees in next year’s budget.

“Student affordability, working with the payment plan: those types of things where we really consider how policy affects students is important to me,” Hollins said.

Hollins reiterated her slate’s focus on sexual assault awareness at PSU.

“My view on our platform is that it’s really about giving voices to people that don’t have them,” Hollins said.

She also spoke about how her major affects her approach to student politics.

“I’m a Child and Family Studies major, and that’s in the school for social work, so I understand people that want to make changes for people,” Hollins said.

This coverage only represents executive candidates.

Several students are running for SFC and Senate positions either independently or in association with declared slates.

For a full list of candidate statements and the open ballot, visit aspsu.pdx.edu.

Voting closes May 6 at 7 p.m. and results will be announced no later than May 9.

Watch the video story online at psuvanguard.com

PSU Reduce Student Costs Task Force lowering textbook costs for students SERINA HERSEY

The Portland State Reduce Student Cost Task Force recently published a report which outlines recommendations and strategies on how to make textbooks and class materials more affordable for students.

The task force was created in Fall 2014 and continued its work through Winter 2015. Members were appointed by Bob Liebman, presiding officer of PSU Faculty Senate; Eric Noll, president of Associated Students of PSU; and Sona K. Andrews, provost and vice president for Office of Academic Affairs. Led by Marilyn Moody, dean of Library, the task force consists of both faculty and students.

According to the report, the average undergraduate student spends more than a thousand dollars on textbooks and supplies. The report focuses on five themes: “Expand on the initial investment of the Task Force,” “pursue collaboration among all stakeholders,” “develop and incentivize use of open education resources,” “investigate other cost-reduction initiatives,” and “address challenges of copyright and intellectual

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Vanguard | MAY 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

Courtesy of Logan Ingalls through Creative Commons via Flickr

NEWS

Where science and music collide PSU hosts brain development and childhood education researcher Dr. Adele Diamond JoN RAbY

Dr. Adele Diamond will lecture at Portland State on May 7 at 12 p.m. on the subject of her most recent research on brain development, which uses knowledge about the brain to improve education systems and help children thrive.

Diamond is the research chair professor of developmental cognitive neuroscience at the University of British Columbia. Her work effectively created the field of developmental cognitive neuroscience and has made signifigant progress in integrating developmental psychology, cognitive science and neuroscience.

Diamond will discuss her research in child development and the brain, which can inform parents and educators on ways to improve academic, career and health outcomes for children. “My focus will be on the [neuroscience and psychology] of what children need to thrive, and the science behind why programs like El Sistema address so many elements of what children most need,�

Diamond said.

El Sistema is a system of youth orchestras started in Venezuela in 1975, which has spawned similar programs in more than 50 countries.

Diamond’s work highlights programs that create a supportive, caring environment in order to foster development. Her TEDx lecture names not just music programs, but also dance, youth circus, theater, positive sports which, she said, address our physical, cognitive, emotional and social needs and Montessori Schools that focus on kids training other kids. “They learn much better from a child teaching them than from an adult teaching,�

Diamond said. “There’s lots of research on that. And that’s done in El Sistema. It emphasizes community. It doesn’t emphasize that you have to start out playing perfectly. It emphasizes that you have to

start out playing together,� she continued.

Diamond said children don’t learn as well when they’re stressed, feeling alone or ostracized. “So if we reduce stress in school, if we increase joy and motivation through programs that they love, if we create community by having them work together and having them all pulling for each other to do well, we know the kids are going to do better,� she said.

Much of Diamond’s research focuses on executive functions, which depend on the prefrontal cortex and the other brain regions to which it is connected.

Social Determinants of Health Initiative, and local NPO, Oregon Bravo’s El Sistema program in Portland are bringing Diamond to PSU as a part of their May 4–9 series of events called Discover Bravo.

SDHI is an inter-disciplinary group of academic and community partners from PSU, Oregon Health and Science University, state and local agencies and community organizations and local health systems. SDHI focuses on creating shared research, education and action in an effort to increase social health equity for all, according to their website.

Oregon Bravo is a tuitionfree youth choral singing, symphony and orchestra after school program at Rosa Parks Elementary School, directed toward at-risk youth.

Bravo began in 2013 and currently has 60 students in their program, which takes place after school two hours per day, five days per week. “Dr. Diamond cites El Sistema as a helpful example of structured activity which leads to development of executive function in participating youth, and our contention is that this leads to prosocial behavior,� said Seth Truby, co-founder and executive director of Oregon Bravo. “Bravo is the first El Sistema-inspired program in

Oregon, so we are a local case study of the example she cites in her research presentations,� Truby said. “I focus on what things impair executive functions, like stress, and what things improve them‚ like school programs such as Tools of the Mind or MindUp, and presumably programs like Bravo,� Diamond said.

She also looks at how biological factors—such as chemical, hormonal, or genetic factors—influence executive functions.

Though Diamond’s work often moves into the realm of social programs, it is founded on scientific data. “It uses hard science to look at what would be a good social program and to evaluate social programs,� Diamond said.

In the 1990s her work made advances in treating phenylketonuria, an inherited amino acid processing disorder.

In the 2000s, she made discoveries which changed common understanding of the dopamine system. She has also studied ADHD. Now her work on school curriculums and the executive functions of the brain is approaching education issues that could affect participating school systems and possibly the entire American education system.

Many of the programs that Diamond cites are inschool programs, but others, such as Bravo, are now after school programs. “I think kids need to do things after school that they love, that make them feel like they are part of a community bigger than themselves, and they need to be active,� Diamond said. “So I think El Sistema is at least as good as going outside and organizing a game and playing together. I don’t see a negative.�

The seminar will take place at PSU in the Smith Memorial Student Center, 1825 SW Broadway, Cascade Room 296, on May 7 at 12Â p.m.

STUDENT MUSICIaNS HEZEKIaH aND LUIS lead the viola section during BRAVO's performance for an audience of thousands at the Downtown Waterfront Concert in Tom McCall Park on Aug. 28, 2014.

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Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

7

OPINION

uBer Is not the good guY, despIte theIr catchY advertIsIng Uber’s arrival into Portland will provide competition to conventional taxicab companies, such as Broadway

That's What's the Matter

by Kevin Rackham At the end of a months-long dispute, Portland has finally worked a deal out with Uber to allow the ride-sharing company (and competitor Lyft) to operate in Portland. After ignoring a ban and operating in the city in violation of it, Uber will pay off its more than $67,000 in fines to the city of Portland and Portland will allow it a trial period of four months. Having Uber in the city comes with a lot of drawbacks and bad precedents though.

Uber tried to spin their entry into Portland as a scrappy startup trying to provide a valuable service to Portlanders, and maybe that narrative isn’t totally wrong. Portland has a pretty obvious lack of cabs, and Portland’s tech-friendly reputation and love of AirBnB made Uber seem like a natural fit.

Plus, the City Council jerked them around by delaying votes and going back on promises. But Uber wasn’t doing anything noble by flouting city regulations. Businesses ignoring laws because they think it’s their right to conduct business is a horrible precedent. Real concerns still exist about how to regulate Uber, and the whole situation should leave a bad taste in people’s mouths.

Their drivers can’t obtain comprehensive insurance and can only rely on company insurance if there’s a passenger in the car, they don’t receive benefits due to their status as contractors, and they can be fired if they have a rating lower than 4.5 stars on the app. Forcing Portland’s cab companies—which have to pay their workers actual wages and give them benefits—to compete with Uber’s dirt cheap fares and unlimited cars is unfair.

More transportation options are great, but they come at the cost of these kinds of poor working conditions. They’re com-

ANH DUC DO/PSU VANGUARD

ing at the cost of further encouraging the emerging practice of giving workers uncertain hours, part-time employment, and employing contractors and temps instead of actual employees that businesses have to be accountable to.

This company exemplifies some of the worst aspects of the so-called sharing economy while also demonstrating Silicon Valley techie entitlement by strong-arming their way into the city and trying to make it look like a movement. In emails and messaging leading up to the City Council vote, Uber ran a sappy astroturf campaign about getting Uber accepted into Portland, complete with rhetoric about “serving the community” and MoveOn.org-style online petitions. Uber is a taxi company with an app, it’s not a community organization.

Uber has a trial period of four months while the city and the community taskforce design new regulations, and I really hope that the city is able to come up with something that is a better deal for both the city’s existing cab drivers, future Uber drivers and customers. Uber has more or less made it clear that they won’t give up unless they receive an outright ban, and maybe not even then.

It’s ignoring a ban in India, and it initially refused to pay fees while operating under a ban in Eugene. This same situation has played out in other cities and will keep playing out in more. Portland has the opportunity to create stricter, fairer regulations on how Uber operates in our city, and I hope we do.

no nestlÉ In the columBIa rIver gorge against the Current ANH DUC DO/PSU VANGUARD

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Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

by Sebastian Richardson

I never thought I would have to write about a water rights issue here in Oregon. In a state where recycling is more widely practiced than Christianity, you’d think that Oregon would be the last state in the country that would surrender water rights over to a transnational corporation.

When I heard about what’s happening in the Columbia River Gorge with Nestlé, I couldn’t help but feel a little upset. Nestlé has had their eyes on Oregon for a long time and has been working to build a water bottling plant in the town of Cascade Locks since 2008.

However, in the past few months, Nestlé has been trying to navigate around the lengthy process that would be required to build a plant, and it seems that both Cascade Locks and the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife are going along with their plans with minimal public oversight.

A sHiFt in BeAUty

OPINION

Vices and Virtues

by Carli Gibson

For centuries, women and men alike have been plastered across billboards, magazines, televisions, etc. broadcasting to the world their magnificent, seemingly flawless, photoshopped bodies.

Of course, behind the scenes, all the creators of these ads are trying to do one simple thing: promote their product or project. They use models, actors and actresses who are desirable, and they photoshop them until they create the ideal body type—the type of body young men and women are influenced to believe are the achievable normal. In doing so, the media has made our youth self-conscious about who they are inside and out: how they should dress, how they should act, how their bodies should be shaped. It’s as if we should all be clones of one another in order to really fit in.

Fortunately for the physical and mental health of all generations, society has begun to take a leap in a better direction. Celebrities are beginning to use their fame as a way to address this issue, especially since they’re the ones being altered. Lorde, for example, has taken to Twitter to post side-by-side photos of herself: one untouched, and one influenced by technology. She captioned the photos, “Remember flaws are ok.”

Not only is there a stand being taken against edited photographs, but there’s also an attempt to take back the definition of what beauty really means, as opposed to what the media would have us believe.

Sandra Bullock was recently named People Magazine’s “Most Beautiful Woman of 2015.” Bullock’s remarks could not have been more perfect, calling the title ridiculous and explaining that she sees beauty as something that comes from within.

But if we stop to talk about outer-beauty, then Lane Bryant is a great place to start with their latest “I’m No Angel” campaign, which is taking a stand for plus-size models.

Lane Bryant models their lingerie on varying body shapes and sizes, essentially working to break down what Victoria’s Secret has forced into our minds for too many years: You have to be thin to look good in lingerie (which is just absurd).

When anyone asks a person to define beauty, the answer shouldn’t pertain to what a person weighs, or what size of clothes they wear. Beauty is dependent on the beholder. If a

person feels beautiful, then they are, because real beauty is the confidence, the joy, the whatever, that a person exudes when they feel good about themselves.

Our culture needs to stop putting strict definitions on the words beauty and attractive. We need to realize that each individual has their own shape, their own size, and their own characteristics, and that’s what makes us so great! We aren’t clones; we aren’t photocopies of one another; we are ourselves—our confident, good-looking, good-feeling

selves. You can’t boil a person down to a single definition, and it’s insulting to try and do so.

To quote Ralph Waldo Emerson, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

So next time you go to pick up a magazine and see the flawless model on the cover, just remember all the extensive photoshop that has taken place. No one is flawless. You are you, and you are beautiful.

Originally, the proposal called for the city of Cascade Locks to exchange water rights with ODFW by trading water gallon for gallon.

The spring is controlled by the ODFW, which currently uses the water source for a nearby fish hatchery. The initial plan would have given Cascade Locks spring water they could sell to Nestlé in exchange for the city’s well water. However, instead of trading water by the gallon, Cascade Locks and the ODFW will simply exchange the rights to the water which requires less oversight.

Such a plan would have required state regulation and public oversight but was still not very popular with locals.

Rather than following through with their original plan, Nestlé has now asked the ODFW to transfer its water rights directly to Cascade Locks, which would not require any review by state regulators.

I am against any surrender of water rights to corporations to be sold for a profit, but I am particularly concerned with such water being given to Nestlé. While they would be by no means the largest water bottle producing company in Oregon, their current actions in California don’t make me eager for them to establish themselves in my beautiful state.

Currently, California is facing a major drought and the governor has limited water usage for all residents. California residents could face up to $500 fines for overwatering lawns and hosing down driveways.

Yet despite this environmental concern, Nestlé is still extracting water from many natural springs all across the state and even in drought stricken areas.

While they may be doing this on land they own or lease, the idea that a company could financially benefit from an environmental crisis makes me sick. Seeing as they are using groundwater, their extraction is completely unregulated.

This is not something I want to see from a company that doesn’t disclose its profits to the public.

Despite the fact I’m not a fan of any water bottle production, at least EARTH2O, Oregon’s largest water bottling company, is somewhat environmentally friendly.

EARTH2O has eliminated cardboard from packaging, which has eliminated 350,000 pounds of waste per year and is the first water bottle company in the entire nation to create a closed-loop manufacturing system that can infinitely reuse recycled materials.

The only incentive Nestlé even has to offer is that they will create jobs—a whole whopping 50 of them.

At a time where unemployment is rampant, I tend to support growing the private sector. However, even 50 jobs are not worth the environmental impact of creating all the plastic bottles and using fossil fuels for shipping and deliveries.

To top it off, our lovely new Governor Kate Brown, who is already nice and cozy with companies like Comcast, has not developed a stance on the issue despite the more than 2,000 letters she’s received protesting the plant. I hope she’ll soon make a statement against this and prove to us that she’s truly an Oregonian.

It’s upsetting this is a debate we have to have in the 21st century. I’d hope by now public consciousness would unite against corporate interests taking a biological necessity and selling it back to us at inflated costs. I can tell you this much: I plan on never buying a plastic water bottle again. But I doubt that will end the privatization of public utilities.

The only time we should put drinking water in plastic bottles is when we need to send clean water to people dying of thirst, those plagued by war, and those facing natural disasters. Bottled water should be for those in severe need, not for some well-to-do person on their way to work who forgot their water bottle.

Water isn’t a commodity; it’s a basic right.

NEW ZEaLaND SINgER-SONgWRITER LORDE performs at the 2014 Lollapalooza.

COURTESY Of LILIANE CALLEGARI THROUGH CREATIVE COMMONS VIA fLICKR

Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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OPINION

the calIFornIa drought: SAY GOODBYE TO CHEAP PRODUCE The Campus Oracle

by Nathan Anderson

COURTESY Of ART SIEGEL THROUGH CREATIVE COMMONS VIA fLICKR

What’s the dumbest idea you’ve ever heard? Pet rocks, maybe? The anti-vaccination movement? Or how about growing rice in the desert?

California has recently implemented mandatory water restrictions due to the drought that has been plaguing the region for the past four years. Unfortunately, the water restriction bill is a classic case of too little too late. The water restrictions do not address agriculture, which is the largest consumer of water in California. Eighty percent of California’s water goes to agriculture to grow crops such as cotton, rice and alfalfa. The idea of rice paddies in a desert is so alien to me that I had to find several sources before I was convinced that it was not a joke.

No, it’s not a joke. Conservation by individuals will not address the problem.

Almond trees are a good example of this conundrum. One almond—one single nut—requires 1.1 gallons of water to grow to full harvest ripeness. Let’s do the math. I happen to have an unopened bag of Trader Joe’s finest almonds in the cupboard.

One pound. Opening it up, I count 107 nuts in that bag. That’s around 118 gallons of fresh California water, sitting in my cupboard. Another way of looking at it is that is three standard American bathtubs worth of water.

If California Governor Jerry Brown thinks that five-minute showers and skipping the rinse tub when doing the evening dishes will make a significant impact while ignoring agricultural usage…well, you know what they say about politicians and intelligence.

California’s current thirst for water can only be met by the wholesale destruction of the aquifers that the region so conveniently sits upon. Since surface water is only a fraction of what it once was, farmers are drilling ever more numerous and deeper wells to tap into one of the only sources of water that remains in the state. Before long, that source will be gone and there will simply be nothing to replace it.

But it needs to be noted that the current fight is not over water per se, but cheap water. After all, California is sitting right next to the largest body of water on the planet: the Pacific Ocean. Desalination plants are one option to meet the residential needs of Californians (the farmers, with their rice paddies and thirsty almond trees, are pretty much out of luck). However, desalination is astronomically expensive, requires massive amounts of power to run (say hello to new power plants), and is bound to cause unpredictable but probably bad changes to the marine ecosystems of the California coast. Not a good solution, but hey…any port in a storm.

There is a lot involved in tackling this issue, most of it political. The agricultural industry in California is only 2 percent of the state’s Gross Domestic Product. However, that 2 percent uses the aforementioned 80 percent of the water. Politicians are loathe to make any changes that cost their constituents jobs (in theory, at least), but it appears that the future of California water will be one of farmers abandoning their fields and finding work elsewhere (dustbowl redux) and the U.S. importing an ever increasing amount of produce from overseas.

This will mean higher prices for produce—as is already apparent in the price of oranges and nuts—and a more limited supply. Parts of Texas have seen recent drought conditions that are just as bad as the current California troubles, and the price of beef is reflecting that. It’s no doubt California will be next. There is no solution to the water crisis, absolutely none, that does not involve a massive transformation of the agricultural industry. It has to happen.

Of course, Michigan might be nice and let California build a water pipeline from Detroit to the central valley.

4 Bars, 1 campus, no good optIons The First National Taphouse, which opened in the 2014 Fall Term, closed its doors without warning on Feb. 11, 2015.

New Kid On The Park Blocks

by Molly Ozier

CHRISTIAN PROfETA/PSU VANGUARD

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Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

It’s 8 p.m. on Thursday night. Do you know where you’re supposed to be? That’s right. The Cheerful Tortoise for dollar beer night. As you walk into the dimly lit sports bar, you’re first repulsed by the $3 cover charge and 49ers décor, but then you remember it’s also $2 wing night, and you let the gross red and gold colors and ridiculous cover charge fade into the background. Except, wait, something is off. As you order your beer the waitress tells you it’s…$2 dollars?

Don’t panic just yet. If you’re not a frequent patron of Cheerful than you should now that they have a buddy bar, which is just a section of the main bar that’s partitioned off. Starting at 8 p.m., the buddy bar serves two kegs that rotate weekly that are $1, as well as $1 domestic beers. At the main bar, every beer on tap is $2. So it’s not really dollar beer night if you want something other than cheap domestic beer or whatever the kegs are dishing out.

A new policy that I find to be ridiculous is that it doesn’t matter when you’ve entered the establishment—either before 8 p.m. or after—they will still charge you a $3 cover fee.

So don’t think you can beat the system by getting in before 8 p.m. When you put the $3 cover fee and potentially $2 beer together, you’re really paying $5 at what’s supposed to be dollar beer night.

As brilliant as this concept is, Cheerful is not my first pick for bars around Portland State. It’s usually packed (especially on dollar beer night), and let’s just say the cleanliness could be

OPINION

out oF the spotlIght gUEST AUTHoR JoHN PINNEY

My first semester here at Portland State, I met a lot of people who were disillusioned in my major. They had various gripes that I couldn’t relate to, and I thought I would never have any serious complaints as a transferring junior. I was wrong.

It’s not to say that there aren’t a lot of good points to being a student at PSU, but I have had one event happen this past month that brought me past the point of infuriation and into the mode of action.

To those who don’t know, I am a theater and film double major, and the student organization that represents my interests and holds the purse strings of any allotted funding for student-run productions is called Spotlight. Perhaps you’ve seen them on Orgysync, or perhaps you’ve only heard rumors of them.

And that was acceptable for a little while. I knew there were some bumps in leadership and that the theater major is quite a busy major. However, there has been an inexcusable action against myself by the leadership of Spotlight, and I wouldn’t be writing about it except that it affects you.

Imagine that in this creative expression major, the only place you can take your student-made item and have it showcased for good or for ill and where you can get your name out in both the PSU and greater Portland community, is through Spotlight. That they hold all the power, all the cards and all the chips unless you already know someone who likes your work and has a space to perform it in. And you’re very gracious about Spotlight and very patient to get your work shown because you know you have a lot of growing to do before you have something good enough to produce.

Now, let’s say Spotlight premieres a competition for script writing. The parameters are slightly restrictive, and you have a previous larger body of work that you have to cut down to fit them. And it stings to do so, but you move on because you are eager to have something produced so that you can not only see the final result but participate in the creation and get to a better place in your craft.

Imagine how you feel turning in that application and creative work. About how you toiled and birthed and sweated over each word. Imagine the thrill and hope coursing through you as you wait patiently to hear about the contest.

When the deadline goes by and you don’t hear anything right away, you get a little nervous. And then you are told verbally (no email is sent that confirms this) that the contest deadline has been extended, so you have to wait until the end of the term, and that seems acceptable. The term ends and you come back from break. Still no news. Now, imagine it is the second week of this new term and you casually mention to someone else at the end of a class that you are not frustrated but a little

heartbroken because you kind of assume your work wasn’t good enough and that you just haven’t been emailed to be told you didn’t win.

But then imagine that a person from Spotlight overhears this conversation and says that there were not enough entries, so the contest is being scrapped. And you don’t get an email about this new event until many days after that near shouting match (it’s very one-sided in the anger department), but that email is pretty damn unsatisfying. And it has subtexts like: there were some monetary snafus, people just decided that a live script reading would be more passable and do-able, and that the only entrant into the contest—your entry—doesn’t matter.

That is what Spotlight did to me recently. I have waited a little while so I could try and write something measured and impassionate and give myself time to process and cool down.

But I find I am still hurt and angry, and I find it unacceptable that the organization I was told was my lifeline and my help into making me better in my craft is at best inept and at worst impotent. Can you imagine my anger and frustration and pain throughout all this and how it never seems to be the fault of the Spotlight board, merely it seems to be an inconvenience that I am angry and pushing the issue? That I cannot “accept” a live script reading open to all because it’s easier and that there is something wrong with me not wanting to see something I

birthed and then chipped away at performed lazily at a microphone because one group couldn’t get its act together?

I think if I were 21, I’d have a different attitude toward this story. It wouldn’t hurt so much because I’d be a lot younger than I am now at 29, and I wouldn’t know the cruel tick of time and the march toward obscurity. But as a 29-year-old transfer student, this is one of the few chances I’ll have to do this. Perhaps there are other festivals or competitions, but PSU is my family and community, and it seems unfair that I have no opportunity to present my goods and my craft to this world, my world, because of the inept nature of the group that holds the purse strings.

To Spotlight: You can make this right. You have the opportunity. Take it and honor the original agreement of the contest.

No excuses.

To students: Don’t stop fighting for yourself and your rights.

I am not taking this lying down. If something like this happens to you, make it known that it is unacceptable to have your voice shuttered because of organizational oversight or inability. Take a chance, be fearless. That is what they tell me that PSU wants and stands for, and now I’m exercising my right to be fearless.

I’m John Pinney, and I am a playwright and a screenwriter, and this is my opinion piece.

better. But when you look at your options around PSU, you’re not really left with much to choose from.

If you’re over 21, not only are the choices for bars with cheap drinks around school limited, but the ambiance is also seriously lacking. Sure, PSU is located downtown and the targeted audience isn’t necessarily just college students, but you’d think there would be more options in terms of watering holes within a 1-mile radius. Shouldn’t these businesses be catering more to their audience: mid-20s students on low budgets? And seeing that PSU is a commuter school, I, for one, wouldn’t mind a cheap beer after class before hopping on the MAX. First, there’s Rogue Hall. As much as I love BLTs and Honey Kolsch beer, Rogue is going to break my bank. You’d think they would offer some kind of student discount, if not one night per week when their food and drinks are discounted. One perk would have to be the endless supply of board games they offer.

But seriously, Rogue, if you’re going to be located on a college campus, you could do more to offer your audience a reason to come in for a visit.

Oh, McMenamins. How I so love your Ruby Ale and tots, especially during happy hour. But let’s be honest, this is not the best McMenamins to attend. Unlike some of the other locations, there aren’t any couches, pool tables or a better scene overall. Besides the nice patio area, which is only really accessible when the sun’s out, there’s not much to it besides booths and a bar. If PSU’s location had comfy chairs or a pool table, I know I’d be spending lots more time there, whether to study with a pint or hang out on a Friday night. It’s like they made it as minimal as possible and didn’t think about the fact that they could make so much more money if they catered to students and gave them a place to hang out.

OK, Pizza Schmizza I will give kudos for having a bomb happy hour and a full bar. Other bars on campus could learn

a thing or two about pricing from you guys, but there’s nothing really else about you that screams you’re worth going back to. The pizza is meh and the ambiance is just like any other sports bar.

Let’s not forget the five months First National Tap House was open. Without any warning to the employees, upper management or any sign of financial struggle, First National Tap House shut their doors. No, their prices were not student friendly, but the environment was clean and lively, and the drinks were on-point, making the few extra dollars definitely worth it. And on Sunday their happy hour was all day! Hopefully something cheaper but just as nice will pop up soon.

And those are the only bars on campus. It’s pathetic, really.

There are only four bars on a campus of nearly 30,000 students. With any luck, something that’s more student friendly will open up soon.

STUDENT aCTORS perform a rendition of Mozart's 'Le Nozze di Figaro' at the Lincoln Performance Hall in 2015.

MILES SANGUINETTI/PSU VANGUARD

Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

11

COVER

Let knowledge

A look into PSU’s sustainable and local food options on campus

nimi einstein/PSU VANGUARD

Jeoffry ray/PSU VANGUARD

feed the students

nimi einstein/PSU VANGUARD

jeoffry ray/PSU VANGUARD

Colleen Leary

A recent change to Portland State’s contract with global food provider, Aramark Services, has raised questions about sustainable and local food options on campus.

Vice President of Finance and Administration Kevin Reynolds signed an amendment to the PSU-Aramark contract on Dec. 10, 2014 that states PSU and Aramark will strive to increase total local and third-party certified food expenditures within each food category by 5 percent annually until the contract expires in 2017.

The food categories cited in the contract include fruits and vegetables; dairy; eggs, frozen, canned and dry; poultry, meat; salmon, tuna and other seafood; and beverages. The contract also outlines provisions for waste reduction.

Health Equity Project Manager Monica Cuneo commented on the 5 percent increase in local and sustainable food purchases on campus.

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“That’s a big shift,” Cuneo said. “And that’s not even taking into account what already exists. I think that’s going to have a[n]…impact on the selection and what [PSU] can do to support markets for local farms. And it’s certainly cause for celebration that Aramark is taking on a new element of a contract that’s probably not very standard for them across universities.”

“It’s a partnership and a relationship that has been cultivated,” she continued.

“However, there’s always room for growth. [It’s] something to continue to work towards and maintain, monitor and adjust if necessary. If 5 percent is really easy to come to, then we can scale up at a faster pace.”

In 2005, PSU adopted a Declaration of Support for Sustainability, which states: “We, the students, faculty, staff, and administration of [PSU] hereby commit to helping create a more sustainable world…[PSU] recognizes its public responsibility to lead by mobilizing university and external resources to create educational, research and operations programs that are demonstration models.”

PSU’s website describes sustainability as taking an integrated approach to addressing present and future needs while recognizing the interconnectedness of social, environmental and economic systems.

Juan Carlos Rueda Callejas acts as PSU’s Sustainablity Student Ambassador. His

Vanguard | MAY 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

position requires up-to-date knowledge of campus sustainablity initiatives. He acts as a liaison between campus sustainability offices and current and prospective students, community groups and sustainability professionals.

Rueda Callejas explained sustainability in the context of food.

“In general, I like to think of [sustainability as] the efficient and responsible use of our livelihoods,” he said.

“Food is a little part of the spectrum, since it is the only thing, along with water, that we need to be able to live.”

PSU and Aramark First-year students living on the PSU campus are required to purchase a PSU Campus Dining Services meal plan. Plan options differ in price depending on the number of meals per week and Dining Dollar funds. The least expensive of these plans is $923 per term for 10 meals per week and includes zero Dining Dollars, according to PSU’s housing and residence website.

The food provided by these meal plans is contracted

through global food provider Aramark Services, which PSU has been contracted with since July 2007.

PSU also provides its catering services through Aramark. Student fee-funded student groups hosting events in SMSU, Ondine or Meetro are required to use Aramark.

Exceptions are sometimes made for special events or ethnic food events. In those cases, student groups are required to submit a food waiver request and pay a $20 cleaning fee to PSU. The Aramark restaurants in PSU’s dining halls include Sbarro, Greens-to-Go, Stir Crazy, Einstein’s Bagels, Zoca Mexican Grill, Starbucks, Miso and Grille Works.

Campus Sustainability Manager Jenny McNamara said the contract amendment reflects certain sustainability practices already in place on campus.

“I think some of the contract change was about acknowledging the good work we were already doing in some aspects,” McNamara said. “I think a strong point for us is local purchasing.”

“There’s still room for improvement,” she continued.

“But we’re already at around 40 percent for local food purchases, so that’s not bad. And I think we’re lucky to have access to a lot different food producers here in Oregon and Washington.”

CDS Director Ted McClain said Aramark and PSU’s combined sustainability goals have been ongoing.

“We have always partnered with the PSU Sustainability Department and have ongoing dialogue surrounding the school’s sustainable goals and how we can support and help support those goals and sustainability efforts,” McClain said.

The CDS website outlines several areas in which the department addresses sustainability and social responsibility.

This includes taking steps toward being a Zero Waste dining facility, which means introducing innovation to prevent trash being sent to incinerators or landfills.

The website says that 109 tons of food waste were diverted from landfills last year through Ondine Residence Hall’s and SMSU’s composting efforts.

CDS encourages less waste by incentivizing students through

COVER a reusable mug discount, and by selling reusable to-go boxes that dining hall employees wash and return to participating students for $4.50.

The department purchases beef from Country Natural Beef cooperative in eastern Oregon and cage-free eggs from Stiebrs Farms in Yelm, Washington, as well as fairtrade products to support sustainable agriculture.

When asked about concerns regarding potential price increases as a result of the contract amendment, McNamara said she does not expect prices to rise in the immediate future, though this could happen eventually.

“Sometimes organic produce, for instance, is more expensive than more traditional methods of producing that food, but sometimes it’s not,” she said. “The market is changing, and things are becoming more equitable in terms of cost. In the next couple of years, for the duration of this contract, I don’t expect the price would increase for students. But eventually we may have to make tougher decisions and figure out how to balance a cost effective but also more sustainable approach.”

STARS sustainability reports A report submitted to Sustainability Tracking, Assessment and Rating System (STARS) by the Association for the Advancement of Sustainability in Higher Education (AASHE) on April 8, 2015, awarded PSU with a Gold status in sustainability. PSU’s highest rankings are in the categories of research, campus engagement, diversity & affordability, and innovation.

In the food and beverage purchasing category, PSU received 1.64 out of 4 points.

According to the STARS report, 41 percent of PSU’s food and beverage expenditures are spent on local and communitybased and/or third party products verified to be ecologically sound, fair or humane.

STARS defines this as food sourced through communitybased producers, containing raw ingredients verified as organic or local. It excludes purchases from Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations; products with low nutritional value like soda, chewing gum and candy; and purchases from producers who have been convicted of labor law violations within the past three years.

When compared to other Oregon educational institutions on the same STARS reporting scale, PSU makes greater proportions of local and thirdparty verified food purchases.

Portland Community College’s report states, “between 26 percent and 30 percent of the total amount Dining Services spends on food each year is spent on products that are produced, grown or manufactured within 250 miles of a PCC campus.”

Oregon State University reports spending 18 percent of its food expenditures in this category, and University of Oregon reports 7 percent.

UofO Food Services manager Tom Driscoll discussed some strategies UofO uses to address sustainability and food on campus.

UofO’s dining services are self-operated. Driscoll also said the university’s local and thirdparty certified foods are driven by customer preference.

“There’s a robust recycling program here,” Driscoll continued. “We have full composting in all of our preconsumer and post-consumer food waste.”

“On the food side, we work with a lot of different local vendors—both farmers and producers. One example is Surata Soy Foods, a Eugene company that makes tofu and tempeh. We buy well over 15,000 pounds of tofu. ” Driscoll also mentioned UofO’s relationships with nearby produce farms.

“We buy 4,000 pounds of blueberries at a time and freeze them so we have them throughout the year,” he said.

“We’ll buy salad mix and spinach mixes from local farmers when those are in season.”

Student voices: room for improvement Some students expressed concern over barriers between students and sustainable and healthy food access on campus. These concerns included food quality and affordability, transparency in PSU’s food purchasing and contract negotiations, and validity of third party verification.

Elyse Cogburn serves as Associated Students of PSU’s Sustainability Affairs Director and is part of PSU’s Food Service Committee.

Cogburn said despite the university’s focus on sustainability and the amended contract with Aramark, sustainable food access is lacking on campus.

Cogburn said that because of her ASPSU position, ties to the PSU Student Union and her studies in Environmental

AASHE STARS Oregon Higher Education Food & Beverages Purchases

Percentage of dining services food and beverage expenditures that are local and community-based and/or third party verified: Portland State University: 41 percent, reported April 8, 2015 Portland Community College: 30 percent, reported Sept. 23, 2013 Oregon State University: 18 percent, reported April 30, 2015 University of Oregon: 7 percent, reported February 28, 2014 Information gathered from stars.aashe.org

Studies and Geography, she often hears students complain about access to healthy and sustainable food at PSU. “It’s a constant frustration,” she said. “Especially for people with very strict dietary needs like I have, there are no options through PSU or Aramark—there are no options for me to eat.”

Rueda Callejas mentioned Green Roots Café as a source for sustainable food.

“On campus, our Student Incidental Fees helped reopen the Green Roots Café, which is a sustainabilityfocused café, with affordable food options, and addresses the Food Sustainability issue at multiple levels,” Rueda Callejas said.

Cogburn said Green Roots Café’s options for increasing sustainable food access are limited because the café is funded by student fees.

“Green roots is very limited with what they can and can’t do,” Cogburn said. “I was part of the final planning stages, and it’s hard when Green Roots is a Student Operated Service and is subject to SFC dollars for its funding.”

“I would say sustainable, local and healthy food is very limited on campus,” Cogburn said. “We’re lucky enough to have food carts on this campus. That’s something that’s really great about PSU, but it’s also not as affordable.”

She added that on-campus food carts are not contracted with Aramark, so students enrolled in meal plans cannot eat there using their Dining Dollars.

PSU student Andrew Mautz echoed Cogburn’s concerns about sustainable food access on campus.

Mautz has been involved in several campus projects related to sustainability. He is an organizer for PSUSU, CoChair of the Food Action Collective, a member of the PSU Village Building Convergence Orchard Team and the Sustainability Leadership Center’s Garden Intern Program.

He is also a former employee of Green Roots Café, and a caretaker for the Grazing Garden, formerly Food For Thought Café’s garden space.

“I’ve heard about [the contract amendment] but I don’t really have much faith in that being a real positive change at PSU,” Mautz said. “I feel like local and organic have become buzzwords now rather than meaningful terms. In general, Aramark is not a sustainable company in any aspect.”

Mautz emphasized the social aspect of sustainability, pointing out concerns over Aramark employee wages.

“We need to be thinking about sustainability from a social aspect as well,” Mautz said. “In discussions about sustainability, too often the social side is left out.”

The efficacy of third-party certification has come into question as well.

“In many cases even organic produce will still be exposed to toxic agricultural chemicals because they’re using things that haven’t been officially recognized by organic certification standards,” Mautz said.

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture website, the USDA only prohibits the use of certain pesticides on organic certified crops.

Cogburn said the sustainable catering menu is unrealistic for student groups to be able to afford within their budgets. Aramark’s sustainable catering menu options are priced at $12.99 per person and higher, which in some cases is higher than Student Fee funded groups are permitted to spend per person at events.

“The initial problem is that prices are absurd,” Cogburn said. “But also I have an issue with their sustainable box lunches. The menu says everything is individually wrapped.

If everything is individually wrapped, how is that sustainable? I understand with food allergies they’re trying to keep everything separate—but if they’re each wrapped with plastic, how is that supposed to be sustainable?”

“I think when people think of sustainability or sustainable food, they think organic: healthy, fresh, spinach, green, salmon, etc.,” Cogburn continued. “They don’t realize that sustainability is much more than that. It encompasses economic, social, environmental issues. Those do not line up at all with what this [sustainable] menu is.”

Cogburn said she would like to see greater transparency for students in regard to contract negotiations and food service.

“It falls back on Aramark,” Cogburn said. “They need to hold forums or conversations just so students know who Aramark is and what they do…

Give them a chance to communicate and engage.”

Mautz expressed similar concerns over transparency.

“I believe transparency is definitely something to be

concerned about, especially with a large corporation like Aramark that has not always been a great company,” Mautz said. “I feel like that’s something that should be pushed for—a high level of transparency so people know where this food is coming from. It’d be great if this information were a lot more accessible so people can readily access [it].”

McNamara said CDS and the Campus Sustainability Office are now carrying out detailed tracking of food purchases, including catering, retail and dining hall purchases.

When asked about student perception of sustainable food access on campus, McNamara said CSO faculty often hear from students concerned about food options on campus.

“We also tend to hear from the students who are already connected to other sustainability initiatives,” she added. “So I think if students really want to see change on campus they need to make their voices heard.

“I think it would be great to have some sort of survey of student perceptions on campus to help inform decisions a little bit more,” she continued.

“I mean, we certainly do hear from a lot of students who are concerned about the sustainability for their food options, but again that might be a fraction of the student perception on campus.”

Future of food at PSU McClain said Aramark would like to continue its partnership with PSU after its contract expires in 2017.

“With the university’s future expansions—including the 2020 Plan—Aramark is positive that we can work with PSU to update and grow the offerings to keep in line with what is important to our students,” McClain said.

McClain said he’s also seeing an increase in students who prefer vegan and vegetarian diets, and Aramark is trying to evolve along with students’ needs.

Cogburn emphasized the importance of being engaged with PSU’s food vendors and contractors.

“As we strive to be a sustainable institution, we have to look at who we contract with and who they are,” Cogburn said. “Do they line up with the institution’s mission? Are we really being served?”

Additional reporting by Elizabeth Hendrickson.

Vanguard | MAY 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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aRTS & CULTURE look haberdashing in a jaunty hat this spring MARgo PECHA

Adverb abuse and creepy sex in ‘Satisfaction’

SMALL COW PRODUCTIONS/2014

lISA DUNN

The young woman with short, dyed-blonde hair frowned over her computer.

Lisa Dunn was…reading, you might say, but it felt to her more like she was eating Cheetos while watching Real Housewives. She threw her head back and sighed deeply.

Her editor had foolishly assigned her a romance novel.

A bad one.

One with too many adverbs.

One that used the word “literally” literally three times.

It was unsatisfyingly called Satisfaction (Brothers Ink Book One) by Sarah Mayberry.

Satisfaction is the tale of Maggie Hendricks, a beautiful unicorn of a woman who doesn’t realize how utterly smart and amazing and hot she is. A woman who is clearly meant to be so bland that anyone who reads the book can pretend they are Maggie.

Maggie, when we meet her, is a 27-year-old bookshop owner who has never orgasmed. Not even on her own! So she is resigned to her shameful fate, until one fateful, destiny-filled night of fate, during book club, her slutty friend Cleo tells her and the other girls over wine and Wolf Hall about a sexcapade she had with a tattoo artist.

So Maggie comes up with a plan. A plan to achieve orgasm with the tattoo artist Eduardo, a sex-god sent from heaven. Because she tells herself: If he can’t do it, no one can.

By a stroke of luck, Maggie accidentally gropes the wrong brother and ends up in a strange pact with

14

Eduardo’s even sexier, even more amazing, even richer brother, Rafel. He’s tan with green eyes, narrow hips and abs. He reads pension-planning books at night and has a huge cock.

Rafel can’t quite figure out why he is so incredibly attracted to the reader’s proxy, but he is. And so he vows to help her overcome her problems.

Satisfaction is one of the highest-selling books on the Amazon Kindle store, and my editor is a mean man, so I had to read it.

“I don’t expect you to read the whole thing,” he said.

“It’s just for laughs,” he said.

But of course I finished it.

Every last goddamn page of insulting, pseudo-feminist, badly written word porn.

How could I not? I finally found a book that used the phrase bone-deep not once or twice, but seven times.

Hell, Mayberry described Maggie’s ear as “that small, secret space.” Rafel, at one point, sent “shockwaves of sensation ricocheting through her.”

At one point, Mayberry wrote the actual words, “[She] proceeded to tell the book club about it in intimate, very detailed detail.”

Not just intimate detail, but detailed detail.

But the bad writing is lowhanging fruit. What I’m really interested in is what the popularity of a book like this means. Maggie owns her own bookstore at only 27 years old. That doesn’t look like the typical romance novel wilting flower who

needs to be rescued by pirate Fabio. That’s a woman who is smart and driven.

But below the surface— behind the successful business, the supportive friends, the cutesy little cottage she owns—she’s miserable. As self-possessed as she seems, it’s all just an act. Because she can’t come. She’s utterly incomplete as a woman if she can’t experience the big O. She needs a man to do it for her, she says, or she’s doomed. She needs a man, in other words, to be whole.

And, thank god, Rafel understands Maggie better than she understands herself. She’s been living with this affliction for years, and yet it takes this dude’s insight for her to break free.

From what, you may ask?

Oh, you know, just from her brain and stuff. Mayberry wrote, “the challenge, he decided, was going to be getting Maggie to stop thinking.”

Oh, hunky Brazilian, save me from my burdensome brain, won’t you?

There is something disturbing at work in this book.

It’s not just 300-ish pages of poorly written sex scenes, awkward movement and adverb abuse. It’s demeaning to women.

In an age where we’re still fighting for fair wages and, hell, bodily autonomy, there’s something unsettling about the idea that a woman’s deepest fantasy is to give into the compulsion to just let the men decide.

But, hey, he does drive a Bentley. Maybe I’m missing something.

Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

So you’re about to leave your house for the day and decide to take one last look in the mirror. Outfit on point?

Check. But something’s missing, something to tie the whole shebang together. But what?

Enter the hat. Yes, you may have worn one before on a bad hair day, but beanies don’t really count—especially if you’re the kind of person who wears one in the summer. That doubly doesn’t count. So come with me, my friend, and we’ll discuss your headgear options.

Sunhats are a good starter hat, and they aren’t just for gardening. Even though they’re made of a wicker or straw material, they do come in more than one color—sometimes they’re even striped.

They look good with maxis, floral dresses, striped dresses, pretty much any summer outfit you can think of (maybe not basketball shorts). They’re a wardrobe staple once the weather starts warming up, and you can find anything from one with a ribbon band and cute curled rim to one with a flop-in-yourface, extra-large brim. They’re also functional, or something, for, like, keeping the sun out of your eyes. Bonus.

Felted hats are another great option because there are so many classic styles to choose from. Additionally, unlike sunhats, felted hats don’t look weird when you wear them with a thick coat in the fall and winter, and they can even be worn into the spring. Who woulda thought?

One of the nice things about felted hats is the many different shapes they come in. If you do your research, you’re bound to find one that suits the shape of your face and personal style.

You can even make them more your style by adding a colorful ribbon as a band or gluing some feathers to the side. You can’t go wrong with a felt hat; they’re a pretty alright choice. I mean, Jack White wears them.

So why can’t you?

MARGE IN CHARGE OF FASHION SHANNON KIDD/PSU VANGUARD

We can’t forget about baseball caps and visors, now can we? If you like adding a little street cred to your outfit, or enjoy looking like a ’90s tourist come summertime (as I do), these two are going to be your BFFs. Make sure you find one that has your favorite cheap beer logo on it and rock it like only you can. You go, you— and don’t’ forget your fanny pack!

There are also a wide variety of other hair and head accessories out there that

don’t fall under the hat umbrella, if you’re thinking a hat isn’t quite for you. Headbands, snoods, scarves and flower crowns are just a few other options out there— but those are all subjects for another discussion.

One last note: If you’re in the market for a fedora, please—for the love of god—at least get one with a wide brim that looks more like a sunhat than an accessory purchased at the Nice Guy Emporium. You owe it to humanity.

SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD

aRTS & CULTURE

‘Thrilling adventure Hour’ comic doesn’t care what evil lurks in the hearts of men

‘The Thrilling adventure Hour,’

by Ben Acker and Ben Blacker.

Illustration by Dustin Weaver

ANDY ANADY

The popular Nerdist podcast The Thrilling Adventure Hour has already dipped a toe into comic books with their recurring segment “Sparks Nevada,” which made the jump in mediums back in February.

Now Ben Acker and Ben Blacker are pushing another repeat segment into the realm of comics. That segment is “Beyond Belief,” in which Sadie and Frank Doyle, voiced by Paget Brewster and Paul F. Tompkins, drunkenly venture into the realm of the supernatural and swindling.

The Thrilling Adventure Hour is a live audio recording in the style of an old-fashioned radio show.

Sadie and Frank are mar-

ried socialites with martinis forever in hand and the power to see ghosts. They go around exorcising them and mooching booze off their clientele.

In the first issue, Sadie and Frank chase ghosts and evil spirits through Donna Donner’s new house, and later we get to see Sadie and Frank meet. It’s at a phony and accidentally legitimate séance.

The podcast has a delightful soundtrack done by both writers, Andy Paley and a variety of others. “Beyond Belief” is filled with accordion and piano tunes, like a dark parlor full of rich velvet curtains and the musk of shadow and liquor.

You might notice how frequently I mention liquor. There are a lot of spirits puns.

“Beyond Belief” really captures the aesthetic of the apathy and self-focus of the extremely rich in such a way that, even in the face of the darkest and most terrifying evil, they are nothing but pompously blasé.

Sadie and Frank just want to spend time together being drunk and rich, but they’re just so talented at ghost hunting that they are constantly being imposed upon by the world outside their own marriage.

Whether they’re booing faux priests for terrible exorcisms or gazing into each

other’s eyes while people scream and flee from the hellhounds of a demon, the two are immaculate.

Always dressed in evening gowns and three-piece suits, Sadie and Frank fight off possessed baby dolls and climb through time, dusty attics and dewy forests without a hair falling out of place, which is only expected.

An askew appearance is simply impossible to imagine for them; they’re just not those kinds of people.

Acker and Blacker met each other at a horror film class in college, and by Blacker’s own testament, that class culminated in their show.

And while very much a horror series, the Thrilling Adventure Hour is without a doubt a fantastic comedy.

Sadie and Frank are not only the ones with a special awareness of ghosts and the afterlife, but they’re genre aware and can’t stop them-

selves from breaking the fourth wall whenever it suits them, especially to mock the foley person or musicians.

I’d be surprised if the same thing doesn’t show up in the writing of the comics, but we’ll just have to wait for subsequent issues.

hosted the event and led participants through different forms of grounding.

“Mind-based grounding is a process that works to connect our mind with our physical body by focusing on our senses and awareness to bring us into balance with the present moment,” Ino said.

Though this event coincided with other SAAM events, it was not exclusively for survivors of sexual assault. College students encounter stress triggers on a daily basis, oftentimes ignoring time needed for self-care or relaxation.

Emotional stress burnout is one of the largest contributing factors to anxiety and panic attacks, and it’s important to know ways to deal with that anxiety or stress before it becomes consuming.

The first stage of the workshop focused on mind and body grounding.

Ino led participants through a brief, albeit helpful, guided meditation and relaxation technique. This included focusing on breathing and paying attention to one’s body, and it ended with self-affirmations and body gratitude.

Some very useful tips for engaging in grounding include finding a quiet space, knowing your needs, and noticing what is happening with your body and emotions.

Each individual is different and has different needs for dealing with stress or anxiety, so it is important to tune into the ways you personally feel most comfortable.

Do your eyes remain open or shut? Do you need calming music or complete silence? Is it more helpful to be alone, or with other people who can support you?

Ino then encouraged participants to spend some time

writing down a list of techniques for personal grounding and relaxation before transitioning into the zine-making portion of the workshop.

Zines are essentially small, self-published booklets, handmade with paper and scissors, and illustrated however the author chooses.

Kesheena Doctor has been making zines for about three years and led the group through the zine-making process.

“Zines are a really great way to ground you because it is a very positive form of selfcare,” Doctor said. “It has a final product, an end result

in creatively and healthily expressing emotion.”

Many of the zine templates Doctor handed out as examples included tips for selfcare, healing after an assault and understanding gender and sexual identities. Not all the examples were so serious, however. Other examples included zines about pickling, recipes and cats knocking things over.

“Zines can be about anything that you want them to be,” Doctor said. “It’s your time to do what you want with it; make it work for you. People like them because they are accessible and relatable.”

Students find grounding through zine-making

IMAGE COMICS/2015

MoRIAH NEWMAN

The Women of Color Action team hosted an intimate and interactive workshop titled “Grounding Through Zines: You Don’t Have to Do it All on Your Own” on April 21. The free event was held at the Women’s Resource Center as part of the many Sexual Assault Awareness Month workshops offered to students on campus.

The purpose of the workshop was for participants to find ways to relieve stress, focus and tune into their bodies as they encounter issues of stress or trauma.

Sheena Ino, the volunteer coordinator for the WRC, co-

Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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aRTS & CULTURE

Poet Emily Wilson visits PSU for talk, reading

RUbY KINg

Poet Emily Wilson came to Portland State on April 22 for a small reading and Q&A session. Native to Maine and educated at Harvard, Wilson has two published books of poetry, The Keep and Micrographia. Her third collection, The Great Medieval Yellows, will be published in 2015.

Introduced by James Galvin of Boston Review, Wilson’s poetry was described as “poetry of exquisite balance. Gener-

ous in her spareness, clear in her complexity, matching wildness of diction with precision of sense.”

Wilson read from her first two volumes, commenting on her influence from time spent in Missoula, Montana, and described some of her poems as landscapes and still lifes.

Reading and contemplating with quiet force, it was no surprise to hear that much of her poetic in-

spiration also came from Emily Dickinson.

“I’d say Dickinson was the most primary model for me in starting to write,” Wilson said. “What was there for me was the sense of words having a kind of density.”

In Wilson’s new volume, she was inspired by a book called The Materials and Techniques of Medieval Painting by Daniel Thompson.

“I stumbled on this book in a used bookstore, and it

became very important to me as I kept reading. It’s a book that really goes back and tries to figure out what the medieval painters used,” Wilson said.

Wilson’s fascination with color and how it can be used as a literary device is evident in her words.

“I’m very fascinated with terms for color, with the nature of color,” Wilson said.

“I’m fascinated with the perception of color and the way

that artists seem to possess color in individual ways…

It’s sort of seeing how color becomes the language, in some ways.”

When asked about her method for developing her sense of creative description, Wilson owed it to something many struggle with.

“Patience,” Wilson said.

“Staying with something for a while and trying to release yourself from the pressure of getting it right.”

Wilson now lives in Iowa City, Iowa, where she was educated at the Iowa Writer’s Workshop.

“I’ve had a long interest in craftwork,” Wilson said. “When I was a student in graduate school, you could learn how to make books and use a quill pen, things like that. I got very absorbed in that and learned how to use a letterpress.”

Wilson said she usually makes a book every 10 years, but she’s trying to be better.

kIss me, I make cakes and scones AISlINN RENNISoN

Molanna View Dairy Farm in Limerick, Ireland, have shared a few secrets of their favorite Irish desserts that have been passed down for generations.

The rich and delicious Guinness cake can be enjoyed at any time during the day. Of course, it is recommended to have a Guinness with your slice.

But don’t forget the proper Irish way to drink that dry

Chocolate guinness cake.

COURTESY Of KATHRYN CARTWRIGHT THROUGH CREATIVE COMMONS VIA fLICKR

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Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

stout. Coming from a draft, wait for the Guinness to turn completely dark. Then take a deep breath in through your mouth, gulp down a good amount of the beer and then breathe out through your nose.

Drinking Guinness this way allows for the many robust flavors to come alive. Now that you know how to drink a Guinness, you need to know how to eat it. Sláinte!

Rich guinness Cake Ingredients:

Cream Scones Ingredients:

1/2 lb. butter 3/4 lb. brown sugar 1 lb. flour 4 eggs 1 lb. currants 1 lb. raisins 1/4 lb. chopped citron peel 1/4 teaspoon grated nutmeg 1/4 teaspoon mixed spice 1 grated lemon rind 1/2 pint of Guinness 1/4 teaspoon bread soda

8 oz. self-rising flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 2 oz. butter 2 oz. extra fine sugar 1 egg 4 tablespoons milk

Steps: 1. Beat the eggs thoroughly with the creamed butter and sugar. Stir together while adding most of the flour throughout.

2. Warm the Guinness on low and pour onto the bread soda. Add the mixture to the eggs, butter, sugar and remainder of the flour.

3. Mix and stir the prepared fruit, citron, spice, nutmeg and lemon rind together. Then stir in with the other ingredients.

4. Put the finished mixture in a greased and lined 9" cake tin.

5. Bake on a low temperature (per your preference) for about 3.5 hours.

6. Allow to cool in the tin before removing.

Note: Although delicious, eating the entire tin of cake will only cause weight gain, not intoxication.

Not into Guinness? Don’t worry, there is more to Irish desserts than just alcohol.

Try your luck with Molanna View Dairy Farm’s homemade cream scones! Using less time and ingredients than the Guinness cake, Irish scones are a quick and tasty dessert.

Procedure: 1. Sieve flour and baking powder, run in the butter and stir in the sugar.

2. Add in the egg (beaten) and milk.

3. Mix and stir until it is a soft dough.

4. Knead until smooth.

5. Roll out about ½ inch strips and cut into rounds.

6. Bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes.

7. Allow to cool and add jam, fruit or whipped cream.

Take your pick from these authentic Irish recipes brought to Portland State from a family dairy farm in Limerick, Ireland!

The ingredients are cheap, the steps are simple and the end product is delicious.

Happy baking!

ARTS & CULTURE

Instagram and humor talk reveals Instagram is weird Lauren Moore

The presentation “Instagram and Humor: A Lecture

by Los Angeles Art Critic Alicia Eler” began with Eler asking the unsuspecting audience a series of true or false questions.

“Instagram is just as important as keeping up with contemporary art, true or false?”

Eler asked. “Serious shit! I post photos of dog poop signs on my Instagram, true or false?”

The Speakers Board and the Time Arts Club hosted the talk on April 23 at 7 p.m.

Befitting the tone of the talk, the Time Arts Club provided a free nacho bar for munching during the presentation.

Eler said in her introduction that she is writing about a lot of stuff people won’t write about or won’t take se-

riously. The presentation began with the warning it would be an informal talk.

Eler is not what one would expect from an art critic from Los Angeles. No tan, blonde hair or three-inch heels. Instead, she looked like she had just walked in from the streets of Portland and had a lovely personality to match the rainy weather of the evening.

“I’ve been having such a nice time in Portland,” Eler said prior to the presentation. “Everyone is so friendly and accommodating.”

Eler proceeded to highlight some of her favorite Instagram accounts, including Crazyjewishmom, who texts her kids ridiculous memes and images, and girl-

withnojob, who makes fun, sharable emotes.

“These accounts all use different conceptional approaches, but all use Instagram as a platform,” Eler said. “Quick visual jokes and quips.”

Eler said that Instagram is a locus for sharing art and producing Internet pop art. This has a Warholian underpinning.

“Instahumor is a one-liner joke turned meme,” Eler said.

“Warholian Instahumor is 15 minutes of fame through 15 seconds of daily humor.”

She followed this up with a Warhol quote: “Isn’t life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?”

Eler moved to Los Angeles about a year ago and, shortly thereafter, became

addicted to her phone. She became interested in the ways people make jokes on their phones.

At the time, Eler was attending a lot of stand-up comedy, which is all about timing and delivery of humor. These aspects are not relevant on Instagram unless the joke is a news item.

“What works on Instagram has everything to do with capturing attention,” Eler said.

This brings up the idea of taking what already exists and re-appropriating it. Users can take any image and put it into a meme generator and add text.

“Does originality matter, or is it whoever gets the most likes win?” Eler said.

A common theme running through almost all

INSTAGRAM LOGO

the Instagram humor accounts is pizza and Seinfeld.

For Seinfeld, people take a screenshot and write in new dialogue, re-grounding the joke.

Pizza images are just popular all around.

Eler said she believes this may relate to stoners getting high, passing out and eating more pizza.

During the Q&A portion of the lecture, Eler was asked what type of things she posts on her Instagram.

“Dog shit images,” Eler said.

Someone asked how the sense of humor you find on Instagram differs from other sites such as Tumblr and Imgur.

Eler said she sees a lot of crossovers between the three.

Eler said on Tumblr she sees more personal space, dialogue and connectedness. On Instagram you just choose who you follow or don’t follow.

“The rate of speed for consumption on Instagram is exponential,” Eler said. “Don’t take these platforms as the indication of death or beginning of something.”

Eler has been published in more than 25 magazines around the world. Much of her work focuses on selfies, comedy and social media. Eler’s talk was adapted from an essay she wrote for Via magazine.

Bridgetown Comedy Fest top picks Colleen Leary

The Eighth annual Bridgetown Comedy Festival is just around the corner. The festival has been touted as summer camp for comedians and is once again descending upon Portland with the fury of funny from May 7–10.

Performers include a selection of almost 150 headlining, up-and-coming out-of-towners, and Portland’s finest comedians.

The lineup includes Jonathan Katz, Andy Kindler, Janeane Garafalo, Dana Gould, Michelle Buteau, Kyle Kinane, Beth Stelling, Arden Myrin, Kate Berlant,

Steve Agee and Portland’s own prodigal son Ian Karmel, among many other noteworthy acts.

This year’s Bridgetown venues include Doug Fir Lounge, Bossanova Ballroom, Revolution Hall, Norse Hall, Rotture, My Father’s Place, Bunk Bar and Boogie’s Burgers and Brew.

Starting from Thursday night, the shows don’t stop. With stacked lineups happening all over town, it can be overwhelming to decide which show to attend. Here’s a list of shows you really don’t want to miss:

Peace Out

Thursday, May 10, 10–11:30 p. m.

Bossanova Ballroom

Hosted by Laura House, an Austin-based comedian, writer and meditation teacher.

“Peace Out” has a jam-packed lineup featuring Janeane Garofalo, Dana Gould, Neil Hamburger, Kira Soltanovich, Lizzy Cooperman, Matt Kirshen, Andy Wood, and Raj Sivaraman led through guided meditation by House.

Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction Friday, May 11, 11–11:59 p.m.

Bossanova Ballroom

This dirty and ridiculous Portland favorite features

comedians creating dueling erotic fan fiction on the fly.

Hosted by Bryan Cook, this show features Beth Stelling, Guy Branum, Patrick Keane, Ian Abramson, Bri Pruett, Caitlin Gill, T.J. Chambers and Paige Bowman. Stay late and get dirty, senpai.

Bridgetown installment’s theme is “sacred, sacred, we are one” and will feature a scientist, live musicians and comedians Brendon Small, Kate Berlant, Matt McCarthy and Caitlin Gill.

Heart of Darkness

Hosted by Bridgetown producer Andy Wood and British charmer Matt Kirshen, This quasi-science show is sometimes informative and always entertaining. The Bridgetown installment features Sex at Dawn author Christopher Ryan.

Saturday, May 12, 11–11:59 p.m.

Rotture’s lower stage

“Heart of Darkness” was created and is hosted by New York comedian Greg Barris, who describes the show as a “transformative act of immersive psycho-magic.” The

Probably Science Podcast Sunday, May 13, 2–3:30 p.m.

Bossanova Ballroom

Keep Everywhere Weird Sunday, May 13, 7:30–9 p.m.

My Father’s Place

This show features a mixture of comedians from Portland and beyond. Raj Sivaraman hosts a lineup that includes Chris Fairbanks, Laura House, Bri Pruett, Clare O’Kane, Jerron Horton, Noah Gardenswartz, Zak Toscani, Mac Blake and Veronica Heath. Don’t miss a chance to see a comedy show at My Father’s Place, because that seems weird enough on its own.

Four-day passes for the festival are $99 and available at bridgetowncomedy.com.

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ETC

EVENT CALENDAR John pinney

May 5

May 6

May 7

May 8

May 9

6 p.m.

SMSU 238

2:30 p.m.

SMSU 296–298 Free but need to register

4–8p.m.

Rec Center Rock Wall

8–10 a.m.

Rec Center (Courts 1, 2 & MAC)

11 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Oregon Convention Center Free

Stereotypes in East Asian Education This presentation by Dr. Hyunjoon Park sounds like it reveals many similarities between Japanese/Korean and some American philosophies of education. Dr. Park will discuss the strengths and weaknesses of certain sterotypes of high curriculum standardization, Common Core style testing that does not allow for creative thinking, and privatization of schooling. FREE

Sound Waves Pool Party 8 p.m.

Campus Rec Free

1. At almost all these free events provided by campus rec, there is always pizza and it’s always poolside. Cool or gross sounding? Discuss. 2.

PSU DJs will be playing tunes (under the water maybe?) and I wasn’t invited to play.

That makes me sad. FREE

The Student Debt Bubble

Adam Davidson hosts a symposium on the student debt bubble and how to “manage your debt for healthy financial beginnings.” To which all students everywhere say: What finances? What money is this dude talking about, and how am I going to get this soda I just snorted out of my shirt?

Female Climbing Night I kind of want to make a rock wall/rock star Joan Jett joke, but I’m refraining. So this event is called “Women’s Climbing Night,” but I assume this does not necessarily mean fem*trans or fem-identified folks can’t come. All skill levels are welcome—this is just about having an event for solidarity and safety.

FREE

FREE

Goalball

Have you ever wanted to find out how good you’d be at a sport where you’re blind?

Well, this is your chance.

Though Wikipedia doesn’t tell me much, I am personally amused by the idea of Calvin playing this with Hobbes while they’re both blindfolded. For the record, you are taught the game before you’re blindfolded and told to “lose havoc the dogs of war”

Super Colossal Spring Sale

4–10 p.m.

2030 NW 17th Ave

Crafty Wonderland always capitalizes this twice yearly sale as they are very excited about it. This spring version will have over 200 vendors to peruse, all local artists with different skills and offerings (though probably more jewelry than you can shake a stick at). Goodie bags for the first 200 shoppers will be available.

It goes without saying that this is a 21 and up event. I would also stipulate that if you’re under 21, you probably don’t drink much whiskey anyway (though I’ve been known to be wrong).

Also, this probably isn’t for you if you’re not a fan of whiskey.

This is the third year for Whiskey Town and they use proceeds from this event of 200+ whiskeys, 25 bands and a mechanical bull to raise funds for the Be the Match Foundation and Achon Uganda Children’s Foundation.

FREE

Photography of Scott Dalton 9 p.m.

Newspace Center for Photography Ongoing through May 30.

From Latin America to his new base in Houston, Texas, Scott Dalton was always interested in the intersections of culture in urban areas.

These photographs may just document the microchasm of Houston, but apparently also speak to every city and every place that culture and desire intersect.

NW Animation Fest

May 4–10 Hollywood Theatre See website for prices, times and films

Tick Tock Three

Portland is known for a lot of cool indie things, and this is one of them. Kind of underground, equal parts hilarious, subversive, and weird, this Animation Fest allows you to see both big-budget and indie cartoons from around the area and the world. To give you a pricing idea, the weeklong festival’s all-week pass is about $70, but it’s totally worth it—especially if you’ve never experienced life at the Hollywood Theatre.

I imagine (it’s fun in my brain) that a professor dresses up for this event like a giant stopwatch and has an airhorn, so at the end of three minutes the startled student really knows their time is up. But I think the event is slightly more classy and probably just as fun. A little competition does bring out the best in many people.

4 p.m.

Lincoln 355

Whiskey Town, USA

21+

2015 Pac NW Photo Viewing Winners 12– 5 p.m.

Blue Sky Gallery

Sixty-four local photographic artists were selected for this mega-event out of 195 submissions.

(How curious are you now about who won?)Each artist has a drawer that represents 10 of their most current and personal works. Also, May is Portland Photo Month.

Who knew?

May 10

A Night with Natalie 8 p.m.

Alberta Rose Theatre

There’s a good chance you don’t know who Natalie McKay is. I’m kind of a theater person, and I had to look her up. She does a lot of work for soundtracks, and the most mentioned of her film credits include her work as the little sister in PS I Love You, though she’s also done music for Boardwalk Empire. This Night with Natalie is a showcase of her latest work, Home Sweet Mobile Home.

FREE

21+

PSU FREE OPEN TO PUBLIC 21 & OVER

FEATURED EVENT Career Faire

When: May 6, 11 a.m. to 3p.m.

Where: SMSU 355 Hear ye, hear ye! Yon Advising and Career Services Centre is providing career path organizations and complimentary ye olde blood leaching and divination for the cost of nothing at this fair event! Translation: It’s the Spring Term Career Fair. Although there’s no quanitifiable evidence, (at least not when you’re lazy like me), as to how effective these career fairs are, honestly, it’s a great way to get your name out to prospective employeers. And for people (again like me) with less than stellar resumes but great people skills, it might mean the difference between a job offer and open weeping and gnashing of teeth during the summer break and beyond.

Advising and Career Centre Midterm stressServices relief poster

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Vanguard | MAY 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

ETC

horoscopes JoHN PINNEY

gemini May 21–June 20 Virgo Aug. 23–Sep. 22 Sagittarius Nov. 22–Dec. 21 Pisces Feb. 20–March 19

Why is it that we discuss Hamlet in more than one theater class? It’s because revenge is a popular topic, which is why you’re the center of attention this week.

Have a Snickers bar, Virgo.

You always turn into William Randolph Hearst when you get hungry—more narcissist Citizen Kane and less insanely cool castle.

If you’re looking for Chris- Nothing interesting is gotian lit this week for whatever ing to happen to you this wacky reason, don’t just grab week. It’s a good week to for the Chronicles of Narnia. dive into Life of Pi like you’ve Try the Screwtape Letters wanted to for awhile now. or, my personal favorite, The Great Divorce.

Cancer June 21–July 22 Libra Sep. 23–Oct. 22

Is your life like a Jane Austen novel, Aries? Are you in a garden and amazed? Or is your best friend really good at pianoforte?

Have you ever considered getting a dog? They’re really good companions and are pretty good at the unconditional love thing, which is always nice.

aries March 21–April 19

Capricorn Dec. 22–Jan. 19

Have you been to the Winchester Mystery House, Libra? It’s this cool haunted place that even offers an overnight slumber party package.

Time to add it to the bucket list.

Having a craving this week, Cappi? One of my favorite date night restaurants is the New Orleans inspired Tapalaya. I know you’re hungry for Chinese; I just don’t have any Taurus April 20–May 20 recommendations for that.

A sequel to To Kill A Mockingbird came out recently TauLeo July 23–Aug. 22 You should consider re-read- Scorpio Oct. 23–Nov. 21 aquarius Jan. 20–Feb. 18 rus. The sequel has no bird in ing Catcher in the Rye. It’s Pro-tip: Always carry a towel. If you haven’t done it yet, the title. This makes me sad actually more awful than you You never know when you’re don’t bother getting that box as well. remember, oddly enough, but going to become an interga- of Dunkaroos shipped from it might be handy for your lactic hitchhiker.

Canada. The cookies taste stale, thesis. and nostalgia can’t save them.

From Mystic J, permanent resident of Room 1313, Hollywood Tower Hotel ELISE fURLAN/PSU VANGUARD ELISE fURLAN/PSU VANGUARD

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Missing member of group: DoWN ____________________________ . 1 Sense the French to be involved with trickery (7) ACRoSS 2 Good metal alloy, with no 1 A guitar section playing hint of tarnish, should (5) with Dire Straits (11) 3 Eight-legged creature is 7 Return loan of transport (3) a natural mutant – time’s 9 Important businessman involved (9) shortly scolds and curses (9) 4 A new note given in ad10 One has to leave an abu- vance payment (4) sive woman (5) 5 Fashionable journal11 A diamond in Italy? (6) ist, describing passionate 12 Loses one’s temper when lust, caused offence (8) trousers are lifted? (6,2) 6 River has no point to di14 Character in Greek vide (5) semi-chorus (6) 7 Lawyers can be a joke in 16 Eastern girls love a Scotland (3) frolic here? (8) 8 Score after whistle has 19 Make a trip to a Greek finally gone: 3.14 to nil (7) island to see the birds (8) 13 Of minerals contain20 The Spices split up... (6) ing mixture of silicon and 22 ...as Geri heads off to aluminium compounds, America after a... (8) principally (5) 24 ...chart rating finds 15 A vulture you are, you Spices’ current number go- b–––, you, you hear! (5) ing from No 1 to No 6 (6) 17 Setter is in a race, show27 A right that is given to ing vigour (9) society (5) 18 Magical little man is 29 Is able to get hold of cut discovered in little house, price alternative (9) married to a relative (8) 30 It was familiar to Tolstoy (3) 19 A number coming in to 31 Mallard perhaps or follow Labour (7) cuckoo nesting around 21 Street on the Andes, river, note (5.6) say? That’s odd (7)

23 First off, searches person for weapons to eliminate these? (5) 25 Short sleeved bodice worn by melancholic (5) 26 Plans to return junk mail (4) 28 Affirmation made at the altar – in this language? (3)

Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

19

SPORTS MIKE EVaNS defends against the Washington Redskins in Nov. 2014.

2015 nFl draFt kIcks oFF

COURTESY Of KEITH ALLISON THROUGH CREATIVE COMMONS VIA WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

CoMMENTARY bY PHUoC FRANCIS NgUYEN

In the 2015 draft over April 30–May 2, we saw the storylines of Jameis Winston of Florida State and Marcus Mariota, as well as the numerous character red flags team, put on prospects.

After flip-flopping who would be number-one pick as well as first quarterback taken, draft pundits finally agreed that Winston would be the first one off the board. It came to fruition as Commissioner Roger Goodell announced “with the first pick in the 2015 NFL Draft, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers select Jameis Winston, quarterback, Florida State.”

The intrigue of the draft came at number two. Tennessee held that draft selection. The 2013 Heisman Trophy winner gives head coach Lovie Smith a potent one-two punch with Winston and 2014 firstround draft pick Mike Evans.

ESPN Draft Analyst Todd McShay has said that Winston is as good a prospect he has seen since Andrew Luck. At number two we would get

20

the questions we wanted answered. Would Chip Kelly and the Philadelphia Eagles be able to move up for his Marcus Mariota?

The question everyone wanted to know was whether or not there would be a trade to take the 2014 Heisman Trophy winner at number two, or the Titans would simply take him there. Commissioner Goodell announced that Mariota would be the selection at number two to the Tennessee Titans. Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt now has Mariota and 2014 sixth-round draft pick Zach Mettenberger of LSU as his top two signal callers heading into the 2015 season.

The first round we noticed a trend: Red flagged character prospects would be pushed down. Teams have been unwilling to pull the trigger on many of those prospects in recent years, and this year was no different. These teams wanted to steer clear in the first round.

First round talents Shane Ray, Randy Gregory and La’el Collins saw their stock drop far and hard. Ray is a top-10 pass rushing prospect from the University of Missouri, who dropped down to the 23rd selection. The Denver Broncos traded up from their 28th spot with the Detroit Lions in exchange for one fifth-round selection this year and next year, as well as offensive lineman Manny Ramirez to select Ray at 23. Randy Gregory of Nebraska was also a touted pass rusher who had a top-10 grade from many draft experts.

In the second round at pick 60, the Dallas Cowboys took a chance and selected Gregory.

They are hoping the Nebraska product can produce sacks the way Demarcus Ware did for them for several years. Collins, the offensive tackle from LSU, did not hear his name called in the draft. He is planning to meet with authorities in an investigation. His representatives had hoped that he could re-en-

Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

ter the draft in 2016, but NFL rules state that is not an option.

Offensive linemen were being selected left and right in the first round. At number five, the Washington Redskins selected the 2014 Outland Trophy winner offensive tackle Brandon Scherff from Iowa. Draft experts described the offensive tackle and interior lineman class to be very thin after Scherff and Collins. At number nine, the New York Giants chose Ereck Flowers of the University of Miami. At 14 we saw the New Orleans Saints take Andrus Peat of Stanford. Cameron Erving went to the Cleveland Browns at 19. The Cincinnati Bengals drafted Cedric Ogbuehi of Texas A&M at 21.

The Arizona Cardinals took D.J. Humphries of Florida at 24.

The Detroit Lions moved back from 23 to 28 in the draft and chose Duke interior lineman Laken Tomlinson to pair with one of the best young guards in Larry Warford, giving Detroit one of the best

pair of guards in the NFL. Other notable selections were former Oregon Duck Arik Armstead, who projects as a defensive end with the San Francisco 49ers. They are hoping he can replace recent Justin Smith if he does not decide to return for the 2015 season. The Pac 12 and the ACC led the draft with nine first-round picks over the SEC with seven.

Joining Mariota and Armstead for the Oregon Ducks was offensive tackle Jake Fisher in round two as the 53rd selection to the Cincinnati Bengals; center Hroniss Grasu who went in the third round 71st overall to the Chicago Bears; and cornerback Ifo Ekpre-Olomu, who went in the seventh round to the Cleveland Browns.

Ekpre-Olomu was projected to be a first-round pick last fall, but he tore his ACL during the season to drop in the draft.

The Oregon State Beavers had their first selections in round three picks 89 and 98, respectively. Quarterback

Sean Mannion was the first Beaver off the board to the St. Louis Rams. Cornerback Steven Nelson went nine picks later to the Kansas City Chiefs. He would be joined by teammate D.J. Alexander, linebacker, picked in round five. Obum Gwacham, a wide receiver converted defensive end, and safety Ryan Murphy were selected by the Seattle Seahawks in rounds six and seven, respectively. Mannion will compete with recentlyacquired Nick Foles and Case Keenum to be the starting quarterback for the Rams.

Some final notes were that the Dallas Cowboys passed on drafting a runningback to help ease the loss of Demarco Murray, who signed as a free agent to the Philadelphia Eagles. They will lean on free agent signing Darren McFadden and 2013 fifth-round draft pick Joseph Randle. Gerald Christian, a tight end from Louisville, was selected with the 256th pick (the final pick) in the NFL Draft by the Arizona Cardinals.

SPORTS

Nontraditional school spirit is still school spirit

Courtesy of Visitor7 through Creative Commons via Wikimedia Commons commentary by Lauren Schlangen

Sacramento, California—It’s the Conference Championships, and the Portland State Women’s Tennis team has just advanced to the quarterfinals. Despite being a larger competition than

what they typically experience throughout their normal season matches, there was only a slightly larger turnout in Sacramento than matches back home.

According to freshman

PSU Women’s Tennis player Siena Peri, about 10 people regularly attend home matches, and there were 14 in the stands in Sacramento.

You could probably hear a pin drop at either of

these events. But it would not be due to the suspense of the tight matches. It would instead be the complete lack of background noise due to the complete lack of attendance.

It may come as no surprise that PSU isn’t exactly oozing with school spirit. School spirit does not seem to be a major selling point—or really a selling point at all—for prospective students interested in PSU. But then again, maybe it all depends on how you define school spirit. PSU might lack school spirit in the traditional or assumed sense of the phrase, but students express it enthusiastically in other ways.

“School spirit isn’t about sports,” said PSU tennis coach Jay Sterling. “It’s about pride in an institution as a whole. It’s about respecting and appreciating where you are and the opportunities that exist because of it. It’s about being proud of being a part of something and what that something stands for.”

Peri said PSU has some school spirit, but could use some imporvement. “[PSU] has a very diverse population

that I think can become more connected through more school spirit,” Peri said. “It would be nice to see a schoolwide appreciation for all groups on campus, including athletics.”

With all the work that students athletes put into their craft, it would be great if other students appreciated them and showed their support a little bit more. The Women’s Tennis team practices nearly four hours per day, including time specifically dedicated to lifting. In addition, all student athletes must attend mandatory study hall sessions. For freshmen like Peri, that means six hours per week on top of practice and academic schedules. With all the work they are putting in, it’s unfortunate that only about 10 people show up to watch their matches.

“We have a fan-friendly venue,” Sterling said. “So when the fans are there and cheering, it can get really loud and really exciting, and the players feed off of that energy and support. The fans definitely helped us through a couple of hard matches

this season. These ladies are grinding it out year-round for the sole purpose of representing their team and their school in the best possible way, and for their pride for [PSU] as a whole, and what it means to be a Viking.”

With the spring season now at an end, Sterling said, “this season was a good season. We qualified for the Conference Tournament and competed well, in spite of some untimely injuries or sicknesses with key players throughout the season. We had a good season, we accomplished most of our goals, we set lots of new records. Even more than we did last season, and the team is still hungry to keep getting better.”

Although PSU doesn’t seem to posses the assumed ideals of school spirit on the surface, we have our own unique style of expressing it.

PSU is unique in many ways. Although it might not seem as spitired against some of the more prominent universities in Oregon, such as Oregon State University or the University of Oregon, it shines in its own light.

Don't Be That Guy: Pickup Basketball jason susim

In the Vanguard's ongoing commitment to keeping our sporting events and gymnasiums free of riffraff, we'll be presenting you with a series of guides on how to avoid being "That Guy" everyone hates.

This week: how to not be a douche on the court.

Now that the NBA playoffs are in full swing, many are taking to the basketball court to step up their game because, as we all know: Ball is Life. Weather it’s the blacktop or the hardwood, many of us have often bared witness to “those guys” during a pick up game. B-ball culture

tends to attract a certain type of dude who has managed to strike the perfect/imperfect balance of cockiness and delusion. Some of these guys are much easier to spot than others and have certain notable characteristics.

There’s the “I swear I can dunk” guy who is looking for that perfect alley-oop to slam it down and draw the cheers of onlookers. More often than not, this aerial attempt results in a sloppy turnover, which looks nowhere near as cool as it did in homeboy’s head. But don’t worry, bruh, he’ll "get it" next time, he swears.

Another one to look out for is “Mr. Fashion Show.” This guy shows up to the court in all of the latest and most expensive basketball apparel.

He’s often rocking the latest Jordans he’s spent hundreds of dollars on, and alongside his head and wristbands is a Nike shirt with some motivational saying on it like “Basketball Never Stops.” Underneath said Nike shirt is yet another shirt which he reveals halfway through the game if for no other reason than to show everyone how much he shops at the Nike outlet. One thing to remember when stuck in

a game with this guy: Do not step on his kicks!

You might also encounter “The Coach.” He’s usually the first to criticize his teammates but takes no responsibility for his own shortcomings. If he misses a shot, he’s likely yelling for his teammates to crash the board and get rebounds. If he gets layed up on, he’ll tell you “switch on that screen next time.” This dude will likely be preaching to his team about the importance of defense just as the game-winning shot goes up uncontested.

The Coach is hindering the

cohesiveness of the team and should be avoided at all costs.

Then there is "The Old Timer." He is hands down the oldest guy on the court coming back to relive his glory days and teach these young bucks how it’s done. Adorned in short shorts and knee high socks, the Old Timer is always quick to remind you that he’s still got it. Exercise caution when guarding the him, and maybe let him knock down a couple bank shots. His pride is on the line and his self-image is all he has left.

Finally there’s "Mr. BuzzerBeater." This dude wants to be

the hero of the game and takes excessive amounts of long-range shots. No matter how many he’s already missed, he holds out hope that he’ll sink that gamewinning three-pointer. Although the rest of the team has stopped passing him the ball, he still camps out in three point country hungry for the glory of the long-range game.

Next time you’re out on the court keep an eye for any of these dudes, and don’t ever let yourself become them. Remember that you’re out there to ball out and have a good time, not to feed your ego.

Vanguard | MAY 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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SPORTS

Shed your clothes and shed the pounds

Sex is the most exciting workout you’ll ever have

commentary by Jacqueline C. Bryan

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to inform you there are now reasons to have sex besides working to achieve that ever-so-desirable orgasm.

Don’t get me wrong, sex for pleasure is fantastic, but did you know sex is also ridiculously good for your health?

Truth: it will add years to your life.

You’ll be hard-pressed to get the same workout during sex as you do when you’re going for a morning run, unless you’re determined to go at it non-stop for hours on end—and if you do, then hats off to your determination and

stamina. Even if you don’t, you’re still using every damn muscle in your body when you have sex—all 600 of them. These muscles are being contracted and released constantly as you get it on, and this helps to strengthen and stretch them, as well as get you sweating. In other words, it’s probably the most exciting workout you’ll ever have.

Research has also shown that sex can help balance your estrogen and testosterone levels, which goes hand-in-hand with maintaining your heart health.

HEALTH& WELLNESS

On the same wavelength, it can help lower blood pressure, reduce risk for prostate cancer in men, improve bladder control in women and help boost your immune system. Sex increases the level of immunoglobulin A in your body, which is pretty much the gatekeeper to your immune system. The stronger the gatekeeper is, the less likely you are to catch a cold or other kinds of ailments.

Oddly enough, sex also serves as a pain reliever.

The pain-reducing hormones released during frisky time can help you

find relief from leg pains, menstrual cramps, arthritis, headaches or migraines and other issues.

Forget the aspirin because your headache will probably be obliterated during climax.

Stressed out with midterms? Go get laid! Sex releases endorphins in your body that help diminish stress and increase pleasure and a sense of calm into your life. This will undoubtedly help you study and perform better during stressful situations, such as test-taking or public speaking. Likewise, you’re going to be able

to sleep a whole lot better.

The oxytocin rush you feel after climax, along with the hormone prolactin that is released after sex, will help relax both your body and mind.

Sex just makes you happy—unless it’s really bad, and that’s a whole other story. Think back on the last time you had a good romp. How did you feel afterward? Like a badass, right? Not only were you in a better mood, but you probably felt invincible in a way.

Sex improves mood and self-esteem, and even more so when orgasms

are achieved. It’s almost like acing a test you studied really hard for or being recognized for something awesome you did—a total ego boost!

I’m sure I don’t really need to convince you to have sex in the first place, since most of you are undoubtedly making it happen on the regular, but being informed about all the magical things happening as you have sex are going make it that much better.

Do your body and mind some good, and go get your freak on!

Courtesy of Bryan Brenneman through Creative Commons via Flickr

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Vanguard | MAY 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

The Fight of the Century:

SPORTS

Mayweather-Pacquiao PHUoC FRANCIS NgUYEN

May 2 was called the greatest day in sports. The NFL Draft, NBA Playoffs, NHL playoffs, the Kentucky Derby, and the soon-to-be richest fight in the history of boxing all fell on one single Saturday.

The Fight of the Century pitted the two best poundfor-pound fighters in the sport of boxing. The technician and defensive mastermind in Floyd Mayweather against Manny Pacquiao, the congressman from the Philippines known for his southpaw creativity in finding punching opportunities.

This was the boxing match all boxing fans hoped would save the sport.

Coming into the fight, 38-year-old Mayweather had an unblemished 47-0 record while 36 year-old Pacquiao was 57-5-2. To watch the fight, viewers would have to shell out $99.95.

Since 2009, the two sides have been trying to make a fight happen. The CEO of Golden Boy Promotions at that time was Richard Schaefer who represented Mayweather and Bob Arum the President of Top Rank, Inc. for Pacquiao.

The hope was to reach an agreement for a fight in 2010.

Eventually the fight was called off at the end of 2009 and weeks later was almost salvaged by the two parties.

They entered into mediation with a retired federal judge, but once again it was not meant to be.

After seeing each other at a Miami Heat game in late January 2015 against the Milwaukie Bucks, they exchanged phone numbers and met after the game at the hotel Pacquiao was staying at.

That helped the two parties come to an agreement. On Feb. 20, Floyd Mayweather posted that the contract had been signed for a May

2, 2015, fight at the MGM Grand. The welterweight unification bout would see the World Boxing Council, World Boxing Organization, and World Boxing Association super titles on the line at 147 pounds.

Heading into the fight, Mayweather has won his last five fights by decision with his last knockout against Victor Ortiz on Sept. 17, 2011.

Manny Pacquiao has won his last three fights by unanimous decision after two consecutive losses to Juan Manual Marquez and Timothy Bradley. He won his last fight by technical knockout in the Nov. 14, 2009, fight against Miguel Cotto. His last knockout was May 2, 2009, against Ricky Hatton. Experts, fans and spectators expected the fight to go 12 rounds. Kenny Bayless was the referee in charge of the mega fight with judges Glenn Feldman, Burt Clements and Dave Moretti scoring the bout.

The fight became a onesided affair due to the strategic brilliance of Floyd Mayweather. Pacquiao only threw 429 punches, his lowest output since the rematch with Bradley at 563 punches and the third fight with Marquez at 578 punches. Mayweather landed 148 of his 435 punches for a 34 percent clip while Pacquiao landed 81 of his 429 punches for a 19 percent clip.

In the post-fight conference, Pacquiao stated that he had an injured right shoulder. The crowd was chanting “Manny! Manny!” every time the boxer threw combinations.

Mayweather used his ability to maneuver, defend and deliver tactful punches to score well on the score cards. Clements and Feldman had the bout 116–112 giving Mayweather 8 rounds to Pacquiao at 4 rounds. Moretti scored the bout 118–110 in favor of Mayweather at 10

FLOyD MayWEaTHER, JR. in 2011.

MaNNy PaCQUaIO at the 2011 NCAA opening ceremony.

COURTESY Of DEWALT fIGHT NIGHT CLUB 2010 THROUGH CREATIVE COMMONS

rounds to Pacquiao with 2.

The statistics backed their claims in their scores as well as the result of the fight.

The millions of viewers who shelled out to see the fight, as well as the history books, will not remember the Fight of the Century as an epic battle. But it will hands down be the richest.

For their efforts, Floyd Mayweather is expected to earn $180 million, and Manny Pacquiao is expected to earn around $120 million due to the 60-40 split the fights agreed to in the contract. The fight brought Mayweather’s broadcast home, Showtime, and Pacquiao’s broadcast home, HBO, two rivals, together.

The fight generated a live gate of an estimated $74 million. The $99.95 pay-perview is expected to demolish the record of 2.48 million and revenue of $150 million.

Organizers expected the fight to make over $400 million.

Mayweather has said that he will fight one more time before calling it a career. He hopes to tie Rocky Marciano’s 49-0 ca-

reer record in his next bout.

Names mentioned as possible next opponents are undefeated 25-0 Keith Thurman and 30-3 Amir Khan. Pacquiao will take a short vacation to heal and rest up for a possible fight later in the year. Two of his last four fights have been in Macau.

Do not expect a rematch between these two fighters.

COURTESY Of INBOUND PASS THROUGH CREATIVE COMMONS

Sports Schedule 5/5 — 5/11 Men’s/Women’s Track and Field

Softball

Oregon Twilight

2015 Big Sky Softball Championship

Hayward Field, Eugene, OR Fri., May 8, all day

TBD Thurs., Fri., Sat., May 7–9, all day

Vanguard | May 5, 2015 | psuvanguard.com

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