PORTLAND STATE VANGUARD VOLUME 71 • ISSUE 32 • MAY 9, 2017
P. 4
MAY DAY MAYHEM
ASPSU ELECTIONS
P. 5
DEMOCRACY, DEMAGOGUERY AND DISSENT IN SOUTH ASIA
P. 6
ALISON MACLEOD’S ‘ALL THE BELOVED GHOSTS’
P. 7
PERIOD PROBS AND PARTIES
P. 8
RESULTS ARE IN
MARTHA GRAHAM DANCE COMPANY
Katherine Crockett and Kenneth Topping in Martha Graham’s Circe. Photo copyright John Deane.
The oldest and most celebrated modern dance company in the world
STUDENTS & SENIORS RECEIVE 20% OFF
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MAY 10
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CONTENTS COVER DESIGN BY AARON UGHUOC
NEWS ASPSU ANNOUNCES INCOMING LEADERS AND PASSED 15 NOW PROPOSAL P. 5 INTERNATIONAL THIS WEEK AROUND THE WORLD P. 6
STAFF EDIT ORI A L BABY-IN-CHIEF Colleen Leary MANAGING EDITOR Tim Sullivan NEWS EDITOR AJ Earl ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR Alanna Madden INTERNATIONAL EDITOR Chris May ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR Matthew Andrews OPINION EDITOR Evan Smiley
ONLINE EDITOR Andrew D. Jankowski COPY CHIEF Thomas Spoelhof COPY EDITORS John Falchetta Nada Sewidan Harlie Hendrickson CONTRIBUTORS Sarah Alderson Randee-Jo Barcinas-Manglona Gray Bouchat Delaney Bigelow Joan Brown Cassie Duncanson Jake Johnson Steve Olson Jennee Martinez Nada Sewidan Justin Thurer
ARTS & CULTURE VERITE IN CONCERT: A REVIEW P. 7 OPINION PORTLAND MENSTRUAL SOCIETY UNPACKS PMS STIGMAS P. 8 EVENTS MAY 9–15 15TH ANNUAL PACIFIC ISLANDERS CLUB LUAU THIS SATURDAY P. 23
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A DV ISING & ACCOUN TING ADVERTISING ADVISER Ann Roman STUDENT MEDIA ACCOUNTANT Sheri Pitcher COORDINATOR OF STUDENT MEDIA Reaz Mahmood To contact Vanguard staff members, visit psuvanguard. com/contact. To get involved and see current job openings, visit psuvanguard. com/jobs MIS SION S TAT EMEN T The Vanguard’s mission is to serve the Portland State community with timely, accurate, comprehensive and critical
content while upholding high journalistic standards. In the process, we aim to enrich our staff with a quality, hands-on journalism education and a number of skills that are highly valued in today’s job market. A BOU T The Vanguard, established in 1946, is published weekly as an independent student newspaper governed by the PSU Student Media Board. Views and editorial content expressed herein are those of the staff, contributors and readers and do not necessarily represent the PSU student body, faculty, staff or administration. Find us in print every Tuesday and online 24/7 at psuvanguard.com.
NEWS
A CHANGE IS GONNA COME ANNUAL MAY DAY MARCH CALLS FOR EQUALITY, RESULTS IN 25 ARRESTS ANNA WILLIAMS, JOAN BROWN, JAKE JOHNSON A crowd of Portland State students, faculty, and 11 PSU and community organizations rallied in the Park Blocks at noon on Monday, May 1 before joining over 1,000 May Day marchers in downtown Portland’s Shemanski Park.
formed a march at 12:40 p.m., chanting, “No one is illegal, power to the people,” on their way to Shemanski Park. PSU groups included The Graduate Employees Student Union, PSU Faculty Association, and the Association of African Students. Jamie Partridge, student leader of 15NowPSU, emceed PSU’s rally. Partridge said he wanted to show solidarity with undocumented workers. “When one part of the working class is forced underground, all workers suffer,” Partridge said. “The current [presidential] administration is using racism and anti-immigrant rhetoric to divide workers and weaken us. That is why it is important to have a day to represent workers of all nations.” Joslyn Sparling, student member of PSU’s International Socialist Student Organization, said she was marching to represent undocumented students. The recent rise in student tuition and recent ICE raids have left people “disenfranchised,” Sparling explained. “Everyone deserves an education without fear of their security when they go to class,” Sparling said. “We need to stand up for their families who could be taken up in an ICE raid. That’s just wrong. The [Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals] program is only five years old, but the amount of change that would
“No one is illegal. Power to the people.” Portland’s May Day march, organized by the Portland May Day Coalition, was cancelled by the Portland Police Bureau nearly as soon as it began. Twenty-five people were arrested for disorderly conduct or riot. Some protesters contested the extent of PPB’s response. May Day began in 1886, with the Federation of Organized Trades and Labor Unions demanding better working conditions, including an eight-hour work day. In Portland, May Day 2017 drew folks whose goals included resisting the negative effects of capitalism on the working class, tenant rights in an increasingly expensive city, stopping ICE detentions and deportations, and protesting police brutality.
STUDENTS LINE UP FOR RALLY IN THE PSU PARK BLOCKS. BRIANA YBANEZ/PSU VANGUARD happen if it’s taken away from students is monstrous.”
STUDENTS JOIN FAMILY-FRIENDLY PROTESTS DOWNTOWN
Attending groups, including Portland Black Lives Matter, Portland Tenants United, Standing up for Social Justice, and Portland Anarchist Black Cross, set up tables and tents PSU STUDENTS HOST “A DAY with informational fliers about their causes, WITHOUT IMMIGRANTS” RALLY IN free food, and pins and patches for sale. Rose PARK BLOCKS City Redneck Revolt handed out free vegetaIn PSU’s pre-march rally titled “A Day Withble starters at its table because, the group’s out Immigrants,” students and faculty held a representatives said, “It’s hard to organize banner that read, “PSU stands with students when you’re hungry.” and workers of all nations.” Rally attendees Adam Smith, a member of theInlandboatmen’s Union, described the story of Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti, two Italian-immigrant anarchists framed for murder and executed in the 1920s. “I’m really here about people dying for labor rights,” Smith said. A youth and family zone offered free water bottles, granola bars and materials for kids to make their own signs. Some read, “Black Lives Matter” and “Immigrants and refugees are welcome here!” in neon marker. Professional clowns Olive Rootbeer and Dingo Dizmal handed out free balloons. Between speeches from social justice and labor rights organizers, local dancers performed a colorful Aztec dance that represented the HEAVILY ARMED POLICE LINE UP ON SOUTHWEST MORRISON STREET AND SOUTHWEST 3RD STREET. JOAN BROWN/PSU VANGUARD
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sun, life, and family. The Portland Immigrant Coalition, led by Marco Mejia, organized rally speeches and entertainment. “We are here for the rights of everyone,” Mejia said. “[Especially] refugees and immigrants. It was bad [for them] before, but now, with the current administration, it’s much worse.”
PROTESTERS PREPARED TO MARCH Dozens of black-and-yellow-clad bicycle police surrounded the crowd, as well as Legal Observers from the National Lawyers Guild and American Civil Liberties Union. The May Day Coalition encouraged attendees to write their phone numbers on their children’s clothes. They also encouraged attendees to write the NLG’s legal support number on their skin in sharpie, in case police action violated attendees’ First Amendment rights. Police-to-attendee interaction remained minimal until 2:45 p.m. when black-clad marchers, including self-titled “medics” began offering cans of Pepsi to police. At 3 p.m., police confiscated stacks of homemade shields from rally participants “for safekeeping,” to be returned after the event if rally attendees showed identification.
MARCH BEGAN, RIOT POLICE APPEARED IMMEDIATELY As participants began their march formation at 3:30 p.m., Portland police officers dotted downtown, already fully-suited in armor and helmets with face shields. Loudspeakers topped police SUVs. Rally members started marching away from Shemanski Park around 3:40 p.m. Marchers proceeding down the middle of the street chanted, “Whose streets? Our streets,” “No justice, no peace,” “Now’s the time to organize,” and “Stand up for workers’ rights.”
NEWS A helicopter hovered overhead and security personnel guarded the outside of buildings from street corners. Meanwhile, two shoppers from nearby businesses walked in the opposite direction. One asked, “What are they protesting about?” Their companion replied, “It’s not a protest, it’s terrorism.” Rally marchers chanted, “No ban, no fear, no wall!” and “anti, anti, anti, anti, Antifa!”
FLYING PEPSI NOT AS REFRESHING AS PEPSI FROM FROM KENDALL JENNER
At 4:15 p.m. masked protesters began throwing empty cans of Pepsi at photographers. Protesters seemed to target one photographer, hurling a homemade smoke bomb made of a toilet paper tube and what smelled like sage at them. Protesters started throwing full cans of Pepsi, followed by blue, orange, yellow, and white smoke bombs. Most flying objects targeted fully-armored police. Police began following the protest with three squad cars and two SUVs carrying more armored police. At least three flashbangs were launched.
POLICE CANCELLED PERMITS FOR MARCH, ENDING EVENT At 4:26 p.m. police announced on loudspeaker, “The city has cancelled the permit for this march. The assembly at this time is unlawful. Persons involved in violent activity are subject to arrest for disorderly conduct in the second degree—assault of a public safety officer and other safety contingency officers.”
“Let’s go another way. We need to stick together. There are a lot more of us than them.” Protesters continued to throw objects and screamed, “We won’t take this! Fuck you!” “This is the Portland Police Bureau,” police announced on sound cannons. “Officers have observed the throwing of Molotov cocktails and metal objects.” “Yada, yada, yada, yada,” protesters responded. Organizers directed the march west on SW Pine then looped back onto SW Third and headed south where protesters at the back of the march released a smoke screen and threw yellow smoke bombs at police.
FLASHBANG BANG Bursts of two and three highly repercussive rounds rocked the streets. Police formed a human wall and put on gas masks, blocking SW Third past Morrison and forcing protesters west on Morrison. Police gathered into squad formation, launched more flashbangs and followed protesters up Morrison, directing them not to backtrack. “Let’s go another way,” one marcher said. “We need to stick together. There are a lot more of us than them.” Flashbangs became increasingly frequent. “Persons who remain on the roadway or
participate in violent behavior are subject to arrest and/or, as emergency basis require, are subject to the use of force, including riot control batons and impact weapons,” police announced. “Abandon your positions!” an agitator yelled.
PROTESTERS CREATED BARRICADES IN STREET AND STARTED SMALL CONTAINED FIRE
Protesters flung obstacles in the roadway, including folding retail signs, chairs and tables. At 4:46 p.m at SW Fourth and Morrison, protesters threw newspapers and other items into the middle of the intersection and lit them on fire. One protester gave a rallying cry of “Whose streets? Our streets,” and other cries for resistance. Police formed a line blocking SW Morrison headed toward the water. Shortly thereafter, 22-year-old protester Damion Zachary Feller broke Target’s storefront window and threw a road flare inside. According to Oregon Public Broadcasting, Feller was arrested on May 2 and charged with rioting and first and second degree arson. On SW Tenth, between Taylor and Salmon, a PPD vehicle was destroyed. The SUV’s tires were flattened and “ACAB” was written in black on the
driver’s side before being reportedly set on fire. “ACAB” is an anti-police acronym that stands for “All Cops Are Bastards.” A blue plastic trash bin could be seen burning across the street from the incinerated police vehicle.
TWENTY-FIVE PEOPLE ARRESTED Arrests appeared to have taken place mostly at SW Fifth and Jefferson. Trimet buses were used to cart those arrested to the Multnomah Corrections Facility. Reporter Mike Bivins noted these buses don’t have seat belts, and carrying protesters with zip tied hands created a safety problem, reminiscent of Freddie Gray’s death in Baltimore. Trimet buses were used the previous weekend to give pro-Trump rally attendants a free ride at the end of their route. Police and protesters stood around with an air of uncertainty. By 5:30 p.m. the area was calm while the blue trash bin was half melted and still smoking.
IT’S NOT OVER UNTIL PROTESTERS ARE RELEASED By 9:30 p.m. the area was quiet except for a crowd of friends and sympathizers occupying the precinct entrance. Officer Hythum Ismail said the central command radios were dead. “Party’s over,” Ismail said. The crowd shouted, “Fuck you!” when riot police rounded the precinct building. The crowd cheered when each of their friends were released. Of the 25 suspects, the three minors arrested for riot were among the first sent home. For the rest of this story and coverage of May Day, including photos, interviews, and journalist observations, please visit psuvanguard.com.
ASPSU ELECTION RESULTS OFFER FEW SURPRISES ANAMIKA VAUGHAN Associated Students of Portland State announced the results of the 2017–18 student government leadership elections at 1 p.m., Friday, May 5 at the Simon Benson House. 1369 students voted in the election, as compared to 1401 votes last year. Brent Finkbeiner and Donald Thompson III, who ran unopposed, won president and vice president, respectively. The incoming president and vice president team received 88 percent or 1200 of the 1369 votes cast. The remainder of votes for president and vice president, 12 percent or 166 votes went toward write-in candidates [notable write-ins included "your mom," "Hugh G. Rection" and "Turd Ferguson"]. “I don’t think it was unexpected, necessarily,” Thompson said of his win. “There had been a slate of other people presenting themselves as potential candidates early on, but late into the application process, I think day of, they dropped out. About 5 percent of the campus voted this year, and so I think that is telling in that maybe people aren’t as engaged with it as we’d like them to be.” Student senator positions went to Alex Herrera, Luis Balderas Villagrana, Jocelyn Rodriguez, Sabrina Stitt, Zia Laboff, Katie Kennedy, Catherine Everett, Lihn Le, Zoe Stuckless, Cuautli Verastegui, Emily Korte, Nikolas Hash, Hakan Kutgun, Josephine Claus, Brenton Davis and former ASPSU president Liela Forbes.
“I made a joke Facebook post about it and some people took it seriously I guess,” said Forbes of their surprise win from four writein votes. Forbes recently resigned form their ASPSU presidency. “I’m still working out my plans for next year in terms of whether I’m going to be at PSU. But if I am around, I mean it’s not off the table. I left ASPSU as an intentional choice, and I am likely to stick to it, but I’m not ruling anything out.” Students Violet Gibson, Suwadu Jallow, Patrick Meadors, Nhi Dao, Amber Hastings, Mahamadou Sissoko and Andy Mayer were elected to the Student Fee Committee. The 15 NOW Referendum, a proposal to raise the minimum wage of all campus workers passed 1113–256. The proposal will be sent to the Board of Trustees and PSU administration for review, and 15 NOW hopes the newly elected “Engage PSU” members of student government will continue to push this movement forward. “The thing about the elections is that not a lot of people vote in general and a lot of people who have voted have come out specifically to vote for 15 NOW just because we’ve been campaigning all over campus,” said student Kaitlyn Dey. PSU Student Union and the “Engage PSU” candidates were the main supporters for this ballot measure, as well as endorsements from campus unions AAUP, PSUFA, GEU, SEIU 49 and 89.
“Given that most of the candidates are running unopposed, the people who vote are probably voting for 15 NOW,” said Jamie Partridge, a 15 NOW organizer. “For the last year we’ve been petitioning, we delivered 3,000 signatures to the board in June last year and they ignored us. We’ve testified before almost every board meeting for the last year, we’ve had faculty unions and the nonfaculty unions testify and present letters to the board in support of the $15 minimum wage for all workers. We’ve held teach-ins and speak outs, marches and rallies. We are using this tool as the latest in a series to attempt to influence the board.” 15 NOW will hear results from the proposal wage increase by June 22 of this year. At a May 5 student media press conference, PSU President Wim Wiewel responded to the 15 Now proposal and election results. When asked if the proposal is a realistic endeavor for student government to pursue, Wiewel said, "Faced with the challenge of having to raise tuition, that’s probably not the most likely time that the Board is going to say, 'Oh, let’s add a couple more million dollars to the bill and raise tuition to 12 percent instead.'" "But a year ago, that might have been a very productive discussion," Wiewel continued. "Because a year ago we didn’t raise tuition by all that much." He also referred to state initiatives already in place to raise state-wide minimum wage to over $14 by 2021.
When asked his hopes for the newly elected ASPSU leaders, Wiewel said, "I hope that the incoming leaders will...approach the new [PSU] president as an ally and a friend who is here to achieve the same things that everybody else is: the create the best education experience, to make PSU a great place to learn, to do research, to work, etc." "And that by working together, a lot can be accomplished," he continued. "I would urge the new student government to pick a number of issues that they can actually make progress on and that are actually in the power of the [PSU] president realistically to affect and change." He continued by encouraging ASPSU leaders to focus on campus-specific issues including food insecurity, campus safety and culturally competent and responsive curriculum. Newly elected ASPSU leaders will assume their roles at the beginning of summer term, at which point they will begin to appoint special committee chairs, executive board directors and various unfilled positions. To learn more about ASPSU, visit go.pdx.edu/ aspsu. Additional reporting by Colleen Leary.
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INTERNATIONAL
SPOTLIGHT ON SOUTH ASIA
FLIPS THE SCRIPT OF SOCIAL JUSTICE CHRIS MAY
On April 28, Kanak Dixit, a prominent journalist, political activist, writer, and publisher from Nepal, began his talk entitled, “Democracy, Civil Society, & Human Rights in South Asia” by encouraging the audience to look at this part of the world in a different way. Maps with nonstandard orientations have occasionally been used to make statements about the political and socioeconomic relationships between the northern and southern hemispheres of the globe. During his speech, Dixit referred to an inverted map of South Asia as a catalyst for considering the people and places of the region in more humanistic terms. “If you turn [the map] upside down, then you hopefully look at something other than the nation states, which means first and foremost...the people that make up nearly a fourth of the world’s population,” Dixit said. Barring the exceptions of Afghanistan and Nepal, all countries included in South Asia were part of former colonies, and the borders drawn represent political boundaries which sever the continuities of history shared by the people in the region. “The reality is,” Dixit explained, “South Asia as defined by the nation state was only created in 1947. The way we have been groomed to become nation statists, each of us citizens of a different country, is to look at something that is as little as 70 years old.” Dixit emphasized that in order to exist on a practical plane, the call to reach for a South Asian identity should include both national and local identities.
HUMAN RIGHTS IN SOUTH ASIA
Local identities highlighted included the story of Nanda Prasad Adhikari and Ganga Maya, a couple whose son was murdered by Maoist sharpshooters in Nepal in 2004. Rather than go to
human rights organizations or the various embassies, they decided to seek justice through the courts. “They were ideal citizens of Nepal, or of any country,” Dixit said. “That you feel that you’ve been wronged, your son has been murdered, and you want accountability and closure. You want the murderer to be brought into court and assigned a sentence—but through due process.” After eight years with no resolution, the couple went on hunger strike and was later detained multiple times, including being placed in a mental asylum. Adhikari died on Sept. 22, 2014, while his wife continues her fast in critical condition today. “Nanda Prasad should be the name that is emblazoned across South Asia and the world for somebody who dies for a belief in justice, pure and simple,” Dixit said.
CIVIL SOCIETY IN SOUTH ASIA
Civil society often refers to individual citizens or organizations in society that are independent of the government, but also can refer to any elements or institutions of a democratic society that allow the will and interests of the citizenry to manifest. Dixit attempted to illustrate how civil society was being compromised by violence and the fear of violence. In particular, he described recent cases where individual citizens who utilize tools of the modern pulpit to promote a plurality of views find themselves under threat with no organizational protection or support. “You’re not part of an Amnesty International,” Dixit said. “You’re just doing a blog, speaking up for rationality, speaking up against Hindu fundamentalism or Islamic fundamentalism. But there’s nobody to back you up, and you’re fair game for the machete or the gun or the knife.”
APRIL 29 MANILLA,
“The saddest of course is Bangladesh and Pakistan,” Dixit said. “In Bangladesh there’s a particular way of using the machete to kill. So it’s not even a bullet in the back, but frontal attacks and the horror of it all. It’s happening continuously.” India’s dominance of South Asia geographically, economically, and militarily is one reason Dixit feels a new understanding of South Asian regionalism is required. “There is this humongous country in the middle, and therefore you cannot rely on the [Association of Southeast Asian Nations] model or the EU model to look at South Asia,” Dixit explained. These concepts were developed by Dixit and the editorial staff of Himal Southasian, a regional review magazine where Dixit served as a founding editor. In November 2016, the magazine suspended operations after 29 years of publication. Despite these setbacks, Dixit announced that the process of moving Himal outside of Nepal has been finalized, and the paper’s new home will be Colombo, Sri Lanka. When addressing the coming challenges to overcoming the widespread lack of human rights standards and weakening of democracy and civil society across the region, Dixit didn’t mince words. “I don’t have a real answer other than to say, most unromantically, that we just must keep on fighting,” Dixit concluded. “More democratically, strengthening democracy at the grassroots. I see that as the only way out.” The event was made possible by a grant from the Internationalization Council awarded to Portland State faculty Bishupal Limbu, Priya Kapoor and Sri Craven. The grant also funded the Film Southasia Festival, which featured documentaries and nonfiction films highlighting the diversity of experience in South Asia.
PHILLIPPINES
An Association of Southeast Asian Nations summit in Manila ended amid controversy over the lack of a joint statement by leaders, mainly due to concerns about backlash from Beijing should the statement address ongoing Chinese expansion in the South China Sea. References to “land reclamation and militarization” present in previous drafts of the statement were omitted in a final version of the report two days later.
MAY 1 WORLDWIDE
Continuing a long tradition of celebrating and affirming the values of organized labor and the working class, people across the globe marched, protested, boycotted, rallied, and battled to make their voices heard. Common themes included increased benefits and expanded protections for workers, highlighting the contributions of immigrant communities and demands for basic civil rights for citizens.
MAY 1
SOUTH KOREA
MAY 2
SOCHI, RUSSIA
A newly operational advanced missile defense system installed by the United States in South Korea became operational, as escalated tensions with North Korea have led to security concerns from China and South Korea itself. Disgraced former President Park Geun-hye originally agreed to the installation of the antimissile battery, but the shoe-in candidate to replace her, Moon Jae-in, has promised to review that decision.
April 29- May 5 Chris May
German Chancellor Angela Merkel met with Russian President Vladimir Putin for the first time in two years in an effort to improve bilateral relations. Instead of continuing to press Russia to fulfill terms of the Minsk peace agreements brokered by Germany and France in 2014 and put an end to the fighting in Ukraine, Merkel took the opportunity to press Putin to exert his influence to protect homosexuals in Chechnya from continued, systematic abduction and violence.
MAY 3 CARACAS,
VENEZUELA
Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro announced plans to rewrite the nation’s constitution while national guardsmen launched tear gas at thousands of protesters who were attempting to reach the National Assembly. Maduro addressed supporters and called for a constitutional assembly to address the ongoing political crisis which has prompted widespread civil unrest and prompted U.S. senators to draft legislation that would sanction corrupt Venezuelan officials and mandate $10 million annually in humanitarian assistance.
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ARTS & CULTURE
SCREAMING AT BOOKS: ALISON MACLEOD’S ‘ALL THE BELOVED GHOSTS’ REVIEW BY CASSIE DUNCANSON Alison MacLeod’s All the Beloved Ghosts is a collection of short stories that blur the lines we traditionally expect from fiction, biography, and memoir. It is a journey spanning continents, royalty, celebrities, and everyday people over the course of a century. The stories weave the voices of famous characters—Oscar Wilde, Angelica Garnett, Anton Chekhov—with relatives of MacLeod and other ordinary, contemporary people whose lives have been impacted by significant events. In the background of “Solo, A Cappella,” the 2011 London riots reach their peak. In “Dreaming Diana: Twelve Frames,” readers travel from Nova Scotia to France to the Brighton pier, following the author and Princess Diana at different points of their lives and the moments when they intersected. I have been thinking a lot lately about how stories get braided together. The Tin House fiction workshop at Portland State, led by author Christine Schutt, has spent a lot of time this term talking about how stories can be braided: what makes differ-
ent threads of a story work with each other, and how certain elements can sometimes feel like they’re effectively woven together, and other times don’t. The braiding effect of All the Beloved Ghosts is one of the beauties of this collection from story to story. Each piece deftly ties together moments of human connection, of isolation, of our ties to the past and the infinite possibilities of choices we haven’t made. Each story is similarly tied to the next. They don’t always connect in voice or style, but in smaller ways—in images and references. The flowers that appear on Sylvia Plath’s grave in “Sylvia wears Pink in the Underworld” make a reappearance on the London Underground in “There are Precious Things.” In the title story, Angelica Garnett’s history as a talented musician echoes the classical music played during the heart surgery in “The Heart of Denis Noble.” These are not stories to be ingested all at once, as they hold conversations with weighty themes—death, war, love, and the
power of memories. They all capture moments of something that feels real. They deserve to be read slowly, each word given its own breathing room. The contradiction, though, is that by reading the collection at a slower pace, it might be easier to lose the lovely details that connect the stories. So on one hand each piece stands as a wonderfully crafted work on its own, while on the other it is harder to tie them all together when read at the pace they deserve. It would be interesting on second reading to experience these stories in a different order. Perhaps the most enjoyable aspect of All the Beloved Ghosts is how unique each story is. Each voice, and character stands on its own, every one as different as the next. The stories are equal parts unexpected and familiar. The voices are so well-defined and grapple with such recognizable themes that each one almost feels unanticipated.
VÉRITÉ, BETTY WHO AND THE STATE OF POP MUSIC 2017 REVIEW BY ANDREW D. JANKOWSKI
CONCERT ETIQUETTE
Before we talk about Vérité or Betty Who, let’s take a refresher on concert etiquette. Dear Washington Squares and Lloyd Center frumpkins: When you get one of the rare seats in any venue, you stay in your seat. After your ninth pass to get beer or pee or smoke or cry I wanted to trip you, hard. Not just you, but your friends too. I get that Vérité was the opener, but that does not give you or your #AllLivesMatter boyfriend permission to spill your messy lives all over me, talk throughout her set, and then have the audacity to be boring on top of it all. I get it, being a gay in the Midwest is hard. Not as hard as the rest of the world, but you know, save it for crying in the taxi. That being said, April 28 is not a bad night in Portland. There are pre-teens and teens here with their parents, or with their friends, or by themselves. There are twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings, and there are more heteronormative gay men than I’ve ever seen outside of the Pearl District. There are probably queer femmes here too, hopefully? There’s a promotional candy booth for a candy that sounds like a burlesque jazz band and tastes like a lighter malted milk ball. The marketing campaign reminds me of buying two-dollar cigarette packs at the Crown Room during my two weeks as a smoker. Before Vérité came on, the house music played Rihanna’s “We Found Love.” Someone within earshot gave me the quote of the night: “If this was 2012, people would be losing their shit.”
ALT-POP
Vérité, the alt-pop singer whose Applebee’s W-4 reads Kelsey Byrne, took the stage with her guitarist and drummer. She opened with a cover of The 1975’s “Somebody Else,” and sang songs including “Underdressed,” “Weekend,” “Living” and “Phase Me Out.” Vocally, Vérité is pop by way of Lorde, Tinashe, Banks, FKA Twigs, and, yes, Betty Who. Intellectually, Vérité has a B.A. in studio composition, and it’s clear that she has spent years on her artistic craft—but still has to deal with sexist audience members screaming “I LOVE YOU” or “UR HOT.” “How about some compliments for these guys, huh?” she said, to applause.
Vérité is exemplary of alt-pop.Remember how alt-rock, a cornerstone of 90’s nostalgia, had some of the angst of grunge without going expressly anti-corporate or post-grunge? Post-Recessional angst has permeated pop, rap and R&B. Pop 2017 is the fusion of these genres with rock and electronic sensibilities, like if Ariana Grande, the Weeknd, Florence + the Machine and her dance producer were subsumed into one performer, with all that pressure on their career. Pop music is still visual-heavy, but now sounds like someone gave Xanax to Lady Gaga ten years ago. Vérité sounds like if Katy Perry was as down with the raps as her marketing team is paid to make you think. She sounds like the type of femme vocalist that regularly turns down duets with Bastille, if they’re even still a thing. Vérité knows she’s the opener tonight and isn’t trying to steal the spotlight. If she has never performed the summer festival circuit, she’s ready. Portland with Betty Who is the end of one tour and predates the start of another later this year that will bring her back to the Doug Fir Lounge. That will be Vérité’s fourth time in Portland: twice at Doug Fir, and twice at the Wonder Ballroom. I’ll be interested to see what she is like in a more intimate setting, where there is less pressure to create a visual audience experience. As Vérité’s publicist is the one who reached out to me, she is the focus of this review. But let’s talk about Betty Who really quick.
BETTY WHO
Betty Who and Vérité together is an example of what it looks like when two talented women are not in competition with each other, whose talents together justify the living Boolean search for “What is cool 2017?” that is this concert (spoiler: both of these artists will appear in the living Boolean search for “What is cool 2018?” et al). Betty Who is in love with herself, and it’s the kind of love that radiates, that gives you permission to love yourself, that gives this white boy permission to Drop It Like It’s Hot. It’s infectious, and it’s what’s going to save our sanity. Maybe that’s what all these people are here for: not the malted milk balls, not to argue about who has more courage to leave Wisconsin in a leased Ford Fiesta, but for authentic expression.
Q&A WITH VÉRITÉ
The following Q&A was conducted over email, and has been edited for clarity Vanguard: How does truth relate to you and your artistry? Vérité: I try to write candidly and don’t really put on an act or persona. VG: How has touring been with Betty Who? Vérité: Great. We definitely are on different ends of the pop spectrum, so it’s good to meet new people and introduce myself to new people. VG: Name a goal you want accomplished in 5 years. Vérité: I want to headline Radio City. VG: You’ve previously described your surprise at being labeled a pop musician. What is the State of Pop 2017, and the difference between pop and the rising “alt pop/alt R&B” movement, according Vérité? Vérité: If we’re not considering top 40 radio, pop is whatever you want it to be. The term is really used to describe whatever taps into the mood of masses. Pop currently blends in with every genre. VG: What is something you wish you had known before you started touring? Vérité: Don’t get the cheapest Airbnb. You will regret it. VG: Seemingly, you went from total obscurity to critical acclaim (mentions in TIME, Paste, SPIN and Billboard) within 18-24 months of starting your professional music career. What has that been like? Vérité: It’s been a surreal experience that I’m grateful for. The feeling of people resonating with something you built from nothing is indescribable. VG: Who is an artist you would like to be compared to, and who is an artist that you’ve been compared to but don’t understand the comparison? Vérité: I’d love to be compared to Florence + The Machine. Every once in a while people will compare me to Katy Perry or Taylor Swift and those are lost on me.
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OPINION
PMS: PERPETUATING MENSTRUAL STIGMAS Words of a Wonderer by Jennee Martinez Portland Menstrual Society Board Member
I remember first reaching the mark of “womanhood” two days before my teenage years began. Maturation movies in elementary school had provided us useless insight to what having a period would involve, and the nervous chatter among junior high friends had begun to excite us for the first moment we would truly be recognized as women. However, I neither felt excited nor woman-like when my first period came. I remember feeling nervous and confused, unsure of what to do with the product my mother had shoved at me, and petrified of the thought of someone finding out. Before even menstruating—and before having been fully welcomed into the age of constant insecurity—I had somehow received a subconscious message that periods should be kept private and talked about only in whispers. What would I tell everyone when I was feeling sick? Would anyone notice that I was spending more time in the bathroom? What would someone think if they saw the wrapper in the garbage can? Could anyone tell that I was walking differently because of this new discomfort? What would happen if someone saw me sneak this tampon into the bathroom? As it turns out, I wasn’t the only young girl who had the opposite reaction of what we were told we would feel when our menstruation cycles finally made an appearance. And although I have become more familiar and comfortable with the products, the mess, the random leaks, and the almost-unbearable pain, the shame and stigma never leaves despite how old I get. Despite the fact that periods are a necessary, natural, biological process completely normal to anyone with a uterus, nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to see it, and nobody wants women to complain about it openly. Angered over the fact that my tampons had cost me more money than I had wanted to spend, after publicly displaying my woes, I was pointed to a group on campus which focused on periods. Portland Menstrual Society is a student group on campus whose mission is to “promote menstrual hygiene management and to empower all menstruators through advocacy, education, and service.” PMS provides and distributes hygiene kits around campus available to any menstruator and
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conversation, making menstruators realize that period problems you thought were exclusively yours—things you were embarrassed about, ashamed about, or worried about—are truly problems held by many. And there’s nothing more comforting than realizing that you’re absolutely normal. After attending weekly meetings and delving more into the world of periods, I quickly came to realize that the stigma around periods isn’t the only thing that has got to change in our society. Though recent campaigns have rallied to break the stigma of period-shaming, periods seem to be thought of as a woman-only issue, meaning services, support, and resources are not often extended to members of the trans community or the homeless population. Despite the fact that members of the trans community have the ability to purchase menstruation products in the store, the question of safety plays a bigger part in their mind than in the mind of females. If anyone sees them purchasing these products will they be approached and harassed? Will they be physically attacked? Will they be verbally destroyed? Using these products in public places also brings up another question of safety, as male bathrooms are not equipped with the trash can boxes found in the inside of stalls in all female bathrooms. Where will the wrappers be disposed of to the ensure the safety of the menstruator? Will they be approached in the bathroom if another male sees them carrying in these products? People who purchase hygiene products regularly understand how expensive tampons, pads, and medicine to treat menstruation side effects can add up to be. In many cases, some people are faced with either securing food or buying these products. Members of the homeless community are faced with an even harder decision. The money they receive on the street will almost never go toSHANNON KIDD ward hygiene products. Instead, they use old wrappers, old clothes, and any other type of paper available. If periods are going to become normalized, we have to normalize them and explore menstruation with the idea of intersectionality to the Portland State campus. The period-centered party will in mind. Otherwise, as periods hopefully become more acinclude a hygiene fair and a dance party in an effort to address cepted, a hierarchy of privilege and oppression regarding menstruation problems and break the stigma. who menstruates will inadvertently form. Normalizing and publicizing events like this not only PDX Red Party will be 4-6 p.m. Friday, May 12 in Smith change our society’s views, but open up a dialogue and Memorial Student Union. meets weekly to deconstruct the stigma and address other issues regarding menstruation. Working to specifically address the stigma, PMS and Periodic Inc. have recently teamed up to bring PDX Red Party
G I N
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PARTY BABY WANTS YOU TO LIVE YOUR LIFE d the e just aroun r a s t h ig n r ut me r. Those sum 2017 Night O e e m r th a h w g u s t o r h th e nig wl your way a nger and th r c lo u g o in y tt lp e e g h nightlife. e d to te e r e e c h a if is lt y u The days ar m Ba b te Por tland’s uard’s Par ty a g ig n v a a V n ! r to e n s r co hack as, tips and e id h it w e Guid This weekend around the world: Tired of bars? Find alternatives here P. 10 PSU delivers: pizza options near campus P. 10 Dude...remember that one time? Stories of epic nights out P. 12
Uber horror stories P. 14
international nightlife P. 16
Staying sober in nonsober spaces P. 15
Consent culture 101 P. 20
Best of Portland’s barcades P. 17
I’m board! Games for a rousing night in P. 21
N I G H T OUT
HAPPIEST OF HOURS DELANEY BIGELOW
BARTINI
4–6:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.– Close 2108 NW Glisan St. For an upscale happy hour complete with a large drink selection, wings, and even chocolate and cheese fondue from their sister restaurant next door (Urban Fondue), Bartini is the place the go. This small, intimate bar has dim lighting, cool seating, and friendly staff. During happy hour, their delicious cocktails go $6–10, and their small plates are half off.
SAUCEBOX
Open–6:30 p.m. (Closed Sunday and Monday) 214 SW Broadway If you’re craving Asian fusion food for happy hour, Saucebox has you covered. They have a large happy hour food menu that includes dishes such as pad thai for $5, mochi ice cream for $3, potstickers for $4, and burgers for $6. The ambiance here is fun, the food is colorful, and the staff is friendly and energizing.
AALTO LOUNGE
5–7 p.m. 3365 SE Belmont St. Aalto Lounge’s happy hour features a $3 menu that includes cocktails and food such as grilled cheese with tomato soup, hummus and pita, and an oven-baked pretzel with cheese sauce. The decor here is fresh and modern and you can choose to sit in the bar area, back room, or in the cozy patio area.
MOMO’S
3–8 p.m. 725 SW 10th Avenue This dive bar features cheap, good drinks that are surprisingly even cheaper during happy hour. A cocktail for $3 and beer for $2 simply can’t be easily beat! The atmosphere here is laid-back cool with arcade games and plenty of different seating areas for hanging out. AALTO LOUNGE, LOCATED ON SOUTHEAST BELMONT STREET. COURTESY OF USER ANOTHER BELIEVER THROUGH WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
BAR FATIGUE JOAN BROWN
Suffering from bar fatigue? Need a different type of entertainment? Tired of sitting on a bar stool with little to occupy yourself? Here are some alternative options to make the most of your night out without relying on alcohol to have fun. Night out for pool sharks • Classic Billiards 3636 SE 122nd Avenue
• Rialto Poolroom Bar & Café 529 SW 4th Avenue • Sam’s Hollywood Billiards 1845 NE 41st Avenue • Uptown Billiards Club 120 NW 23rd Avenue Strike out! • AMF Pro 300 Lanes 3031 SE Powell Boulevard • Grand Central Restaurant & Bowling Lounge 808 SE Morrison Street
• Milwaukie Bowl 3056 SE Harrison Street • Punch Bowl Social 340 SW Morrison Street Putt Putt Golf • Glowing Greens 509 SW Taylor Street • The Tiki Putt 1694 NW Fairview Drive Gaming • Guardian Games 345 SE Taylor Street
• Hour to Midnight: Room Escape Games 11525 NE Halsey Street • Red Castle Games 6406 SE Foster Road Skate the night away! • Gresham Skate World 1220 NE Kelly Avenue • Lloyd Center Ice Rink 953 Lloyd Center • Oaks Park 7805 SE Oaks Park Way
CHLOE KENDALL
PSU DELIVERS
FIVE PIZZA PLACES CLOSE TO CAMPUS
SARAH ALDERSON Everybody can appreciate a good slice of pizza, especially on a night out with friends. All around Portland there are notable pizza places, and we have sought out five within walking distance of the Portland State campus. First on our list is the tried and true Pizza Schmizza. Schmizza is known for its great pizza and good prices. This one is close to campus, just blocks away on 4th and Montgomery. Daily specials differ depending on the day
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and usually include a drink and a slice. Slices alone usually range between $3 and $4 a slice. Schmizza is open daily 11 a.m.–1:30 p.m. On SW 6th and Hall, stop by Hot Lips. This location is perfect for PSU students. This site offers student I.D. discounts for pizza and microbrews, trivia night every Monday 6–8 p.m., and for a limited time 10” pizzas for $5. With a different pizza flavor offered every day of the week, there’s
really no reason to eat anything other than pizza for the rest of your university career. Next is Pieology on SW Yamhill between Park and Broadway. This one is a bit farther—a little over half a mile from campus. Pieology sells whole pizzas instead of pizza by the slice, and a personal pizza goes for $8.50 a pie. The cool thing about Pieology is the set up. Similar to a subway, the patron chooses their toppings as
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they go through the line and then their pizza is cooked at the end. Their hours are 11 a.m.–10 p.m. daily. Just over half a mile away on Jefferson between 12th and 13th is 21st Century Pizza. Here you can enjoy pizza by the slice and they offer different daily specials. Slices are typically $5 and they have interesting pizzas like Pepperoni Bacon Spinach and Chicken Bacon Jalapeno. 21st Century Pizza is open 11 a.m.–11 p.m. daily.
Mod Pizza is just over three-quarters of a mile away, but is similar to Pieology in that you pick whatever toppings you want for one price. Their personal pizzas are $4.50 for whatever kind of pizza you would like and they do offer vegan options. They are open 10:30 a.m.–11 p.m. daily. The closest pizza place on our list today is Pizzicato. Located on campus across the streetcar tracks from Starbucks, it is a nicely cen-
tral location. Whole pizzas can be ordered as well as pizza by the slice, with a variety of different toppings. Pizzicato not only offers meat pizzas, but also carries a decent selection of vegetarian and vegan offerings. This restaurant closes the earliest of them all: Its hours are 11:30 a.m.–8 p.m. So there you have it: five great pizza places within walking distance of PSU! Happy eating!
N I G H T OUT
It’s the vegan weekend, baby I’M ABOUT TO HAVE ME SOME—CRUELTY-FREE—FUN EVAN SMILEY It’s late. You’re drunk. You’re vegan. Here’s some of the best vegan-friendly bar stops you should know about!
$ $$
Each item is below $10 Each item is $20 or below
THE BYE AND BYE $
1011 NE Alberta St., near NE 10th Ave. Open ‘til 2 a.m. Happy Hour everyday 4–7 p.m. The entirely vegan menu ranges from rice bowls to awesome sandwiches to spaghetti with meat—less—balls. One dollar off entrees, draft beers, and well cocktails during happy hour, and the entire menu is served ‘til 10 p.m.
HUNGRY TIGER $
213 SE 12th Ave., between Ash and Pine Open ‘til 2:30 a.m. On weekends brunch goes ‘til 3 p.m. Happy Hour everyday 3–7 p.m. Every item on Hungry Tiger’s classic bar food menu is or can be made vegan, including their Portland-famous vegan corn dogs and macaroni & cheese.
SWEET HEREAFTER $
3326 SE Belmont St., Between SE 33rd and 34th Ave. Open ‘til 2 a.m. Happy Hour everyday 4–7 p.m. Another completely vegan menu with rice bowls, burgers, and sandwiches. Snack plates are about five dollars each!
TARBOUSH $$
3257 SE Hawthorne Blvd., near SE 32nd Place Open ‘til 9 p.m. Hummus, pitas, grape leaves, eggplant rolls, and more, TarBush Lebanese restaurant offers a satisfying range of vegan options in a convenient spot on Hawthorne.
SHANNON KIDD
JACKKNIFE $
614 SW 11th Ave., between SW Alder and Morrison Open ‘til 2 a.m. Happy Hour M–F 4–6 p.m. Jacknife hosts live DJs Tuesday–Saturday and offers some awesome vegan options like crab cakes, burgers, mac, and potato cheese dumplings served with house-made kraut.
BLOSSOMING LOTUS $$
1713 NE 15th Ave., off Broadway near the Lloyd Center Open ‘til 9 p.m. and 10 p.m. on Fri. and Sat. Brunch Saturday and Sunday 9:30 a.m.–3 p.m. Blossoming Lotus is 100 percent cruelty-free for brunch, lunch, and dinner. Serving up house-made pastries, cheeses, and kale chips, Blossoming Lotus also serves raw/live, gluten-
free, and soy-free options—not to mention, awesome cocktails.
EPIF $$
404 NE 28th Ave., near NE Glisan Open ‘til 10:30 p.m. on weekends Closed Sunday and Monday Happy Hour everyday 4–6 p.m. Traditional South American dishes with a vegan upgrade. Sweet potato chips and salsa, ceviche, empanadas, and chocolate cinnamon cheesecake are just a few of the options on the menu. They also cater to soy-free, gluten-free, and nut-free diets.
VICTORIA BAR $
4835 N. Albina Ave., off N. Humboldt St. Open ‘til 2 a.m. Happy Hour everyday 4–6 p.m.
Brunch Sat. and Sun. 11 a.m.–4 p.m. Got those brunchy munchies after a night out? Over half of their brunch menu is vegetarian and vegan. Vegan dinner menu includes fried chicken, burgers, and tofu bowls. Not to mention, snack and side dish options— like jackfruit turnovers, garlic fries, and hush puppies—will rock your vegan socks.
DEPARTURE $$
525 SW Morrison St., off 5th Ave. Open until Midnight, and 1 p.m. on Fri. and Sat. Happy Hour everyday 4–6 p.m. Departure’s Asian cuisine vegan menu has options from salads, to sushi, to wok fried dishes, along with vegan meal recommendations from the chef. They also have a gluten-free menu. Less harm, less guilt. More yum, more fun.
Late night snack shacks
MORGAN WATKINS
Although Portland is gorgeous and unique in a variety of ways, it seems to be the city that always sleeps. By 9 p.m. the streets are completely empty, businesses are closed ‘til dawn and the city becomes a literal ghost town. But if you look close enough, squint, maybe tilt your head a little bit and put on a special pair of glasses, it’s totally possible to find some really rad restaurants that stay up way past Portland’s early AF bedtime.
SIZZLE PIE
Looking for a slice late at night for a hella good price? Hit up Sizzle Pie! Doesn’t matter where you are: Sizzle Pie has a ton of locations around Portland, most of which are open until four in the morning. You can get a slice or an entire pie and wash it down with some tasty craft beer. Even better is their plethora
of incredible pizza options, including vegan-friendly choices. Their motto is: “The best vegan, vegetarian and meat pizza in Portland, Oregon.” Obviously, they’re not fucking around.
SOUTHEAST GRIND
If “late” isn’t late enough and you need some caffeine to keep the party rolling, grab a cup of joe at Southeast Grind on Southeast Powell Boulevard ( just a few blocks away from the notorious Hotcake House, another great 24/7 spot). Not only is Southeast Grind open 24 hours a day, every day, they also offer some bomb-ass coffee and tea to warm you up on chilly nights. Along with offering delicious espresso beverages, Southeast Grind serves up tasty vegan/vegetarian smoothies and juices as well as yummy bagels, salads and sandwiches, perfect to help you recharge after a long night on the town.
THE ROXY
My personal favorite, and a restaurant that absolutely had to be mentioned on this list, is The Roxy. There’s nothing I love more than breakfast at midnight, and Roxy’s throws that shit down with an attitude and gusto that I can’t even begin to describe. Want a plate full of pancakes, bacon, eggs and sausage? Need a juicy burger to sink your teeth into? The Roxy has you covered, 24/7. Set up like an old-fashioned diner, this place is not only a go-to hot spot for late night eats, it’s also great for photo ops and just all around good vibes. While it may seem like Portland shuts down when the sun sets, there’s always a needle or two in the haystack and a few diamonds in the rough if you look hard enough.
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N I G H T OUT
‘DUDE, REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME?’ A COLLECTION OF MEMORABLE NIGHTS OUT VANGUARD STAFF
STRIPPER DOUGHNUTS
“I got super lit and got into a really messy argument with a guy I was seeing at the time. I stormed off and ended up sitting at the Old Town MAX station waiting for a train that wasn’t due for another 20 minutes, completely distraught. Seemingly out of nowhere, a pair of strippers holding a bucket of doughnuts came by and asked what was wrong. I told them, and they gave me doughnuts. It didn’t completely cheer me up, but it definitely helped.”
MYSTERY SANDWICH
“A friend and I were getting baked and watching movies when we decided to go get a sandwich. All I remember was standing at the side of the street, then standing in the store, then marveling at a sandwich in my hand and proclaiming, ‘HOW DO I HAVE A SANDWICH?’ Suddenly we were out dancing? Then I was asleep on the couch?”
LARGELY KNOWN
“My friends and I went to a party, and we were pretty much gone halfway through. The host of the party was a fairly well-known stripper in the area, largely because of his, uh, being largely known. He and I hit it off really well, and by really I mean we ended up totally nude and going at it on the couch in front of everyone. At some point I recall him saying, ‘Rawr, I’m a vampire’ and biting me, at which point his friend loudly announced to me and my friends, ‘You guys need to put on some clothes and go home. Your friend just beat up a plant outside.’”
PIGEON ARMY
“One time I got really drunk and realized that I could befriend pigeons by walking like one: hands in armpits, wing flaps, head bobbing and all. I started walking around a bunch of rando park pigeons and gained their confidence and infiltrated their ranks. Now anytime I go anywhere, I check out the
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local pigeon scene and find new recruits for my growing global army. The revolution is coming.”
GINGER ALE CATASTROPHE
“About eight years ago when I was a freshman in high school, my friends and I got too stoned. I had never had ginger ale before, something that baffled my friends. They decided to play a prank on me, something that would only work at a certain level of intoxication. They laid out three cans of ginger ale and told me that one was explosive, which I believed, and when I opened one up I proceeded to run outside into a tree out of fear. When I looked up, I saw my friends and was convinced that they were gods waking me up from a ginger ale-induced coma. I never smoked that much again.”
they were good sports and returned in kind. We ended trivia dead last, paid for our beers and started heading out. Outside, in the parking lot of the pub, we heard, ‘Hey! Penis drawers!’ We looked toward the shouts and there were our trivia rivals motioning us to their car. They asked us if we wanted to go to the strip club. My friend and I gave the ‘why the fuck not’ look and jumped in the car. In retrospect, it was a stupid move, but hey, it makes for an interesting story. We were barreling down Hawthorne in the backseat
of these strangers’ car, our trivia rivals, and I noticed that in the front passenger seat is a member of a band that I enjoy. The whole, ‘Hey, are you in… Yes, that’s me,’ exchange occurred, and I tried not to nerd out. Now at the speed of drunk, we made it to the strip club. From the time we entered the club to when we exited is a blur of drinks and acrobatic strippers. We kept getting handed beers, and we continued to drop dollars at the rack. By last call, the two of us were stumbling out of the club, the world a tilt-a-whirl. We checked with each other if
we were both good to walk our way back home, as both of us lived in opposite directions. I held up a ‘give me a sec’ finger, bent over and vomited the night’s contents all over the sidewalk and partially on my friend’s shoes. We gave the most ‘bro-ish’ of hugs, and we stumbled our ways back home.”
BLUNTS AND TREE TATS
“Fall term was going rough, so a friend and I decided to ditch studying and go to a nearby dispensary to get some weed. We were walking back to her apartment smoking a blunt, and both
of us being light weights, it didn’t take much for us to get super high. My friend starting talking about tattoos and how she really wanted to get a little tree somewhere. And me, being the great influence I am, said, ‘Let’s go right now!’ We found a tattoo shop that only charged $60, so we went and, literally as we were sitting there talking to the dude, we were looking at stuff online trying to decide on what tree we wanted. I don’t know if the guy knew we were super high or not, but we walked out of there with new tattoos and a great story.”
TRIVIA NIGHT
“The night started at Pizza Schmizza. A buddy and I stopped in to have a few mighty mugs and a slice. We drank our beers and brought up the fact that we’ve never done a trivia night. Well, as it so happened, there was a trivia night going on at a pub near his place on Hawthorne. We paid for our drinks and caught the 14 down to said pub. In the speed of buzzed, we made it to the pub and ordered our next round, created a catchy trivia team name and sat down for trivia night. The theme that night was ‘Portland History,’ and being that I was an in-state transplant and my friend was from Washington, we were SOL. Also, unbeknownst to us, you passed your answer sheet to the closest table to you. So the rest of the patrons of the bar would know that we sucked at Portlandbased trivia. Now, what do you do when you bomb at trivia and redeem yourself with the table that’s grading your answer sheet? Well, you order another round and start drawing penises on their answer sheet. Luckily,
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AARON UGHOC
N I G H T OUT HOW TO DRINK AT A MUSEUM
“The first time I ever left the United States, I ended up in Lisbon, Portugal. A stroll around the city on a balmy early spring day was bringing a bubbling sensation of euphoria to the surface of my soul. There were a lot of places to go and sights to see in the city, and one of the first places I intended to go was a naval museum. I stopped into a few shops to try to buy a map of the city. Although I was not having a ton of luck with good maps, I was being offered booze in
every store I stopped in. In between a few stores, some strange characters popped out of alleyways and roadside stalls to offer more illicit intoxicants. I swerved into a post office, or something much like a post office, to make sure I was on the right street and the clerk pulled a bottle of whiskey out from under the counter with a shot glass. This bottle, the clerk assured me, contained a special whiskey that was native to Portugal. The potion seller made a convincing case for the cheaply labeled glass bottle he had placed on the counter.
Ten dollars later I was walking down the street with a shot glass in my pocket and a bottle of cherry whiskey in my backpack. To my surprise, no one cares if you just walk around drinking in the middle of the day in Portugal. Just as likely, no one cares when an American is doing something stupid in a foreign country because it’s just par for the course. When I arrived at the naval museum with a bottle of whiskey now seated in the drink pocket on the side of my backpack, I decided to play a game. Every time I saw a painting of a ship I
would take a shot. The first room contained no paintings of ships, so I thought I was playing it safe. The second room, however, was filled with paintings of ships. After about five shots in this room, I decided to revise my little game. If I saw any real pieces of ships then I would take a shot. Surely there couldn’t be too many relics of actual Portuguese naval ships. A room or two later and I was surrounded by authentic memorabilia recounting the storied and illustrious history of the Portuguese navy. The bottle was now about a third of the way gone. I was start-
ing to feel a bit like I was at sea myself. As I slowly ambled into the next room on unsteady legs, I substituted my rule once again. This time, if I saw any modern Portuguese navy ships or equipment I would take a shot. Everything up to this point had been old, old wooden ships. I should be safe, right? I tripped into a room filled with models, photographs, and descriptions of the most current pieces of equipment the Portuguese navy had to offer. The room spun from disbelief. It also probably spun from whiskey. I took a
shot for maybe every other submarine I think. I quit the game about halfway into the bottle and three sheets into the wind. By the time I went stumbling through the gift shop and cafe I was probably the drunkest I had ever been in a museum and definitely the drunkest person in that museum. A very understandably upset tour guide showed me how to leave, and I meandered out of the Museum around one or two in the afternoon to try to continue the rest of my day now completely smashed and smelling like cherries.”
NEVER KNOW WHERE THE NIGHT’LL GO GOING OUT FOR THE NIGHT? ALWAYS BE PREPARED FOR WHEREVER THE NIGHT TAKES YOU JAKE JOHNSON Most nights, I find it’s easiest to stay at home watching Netflix. When I do go out, I make sure I’m prepared for whatever crazy shit any given night may have in store. Get started by 10 a.m. so you have enough time to gather all these supplies.
Stylish carrying bag Wear what you may, but I recommend carrying your supplies in a handy backpacking pack. When selecting a pack, I highly recommend making sure it’s a pack versatile enough to not clash with any outfits you may wear. The most important thing is always being prepared, but second, is looking good. Damn good. So head down to REI and take a look at all those sweet sacks. You’ll want something that says, “I’m ready for anything,” but make sure it doesn’t look like you’re trying too hard. Once you’ve selected a pack, don’t worry about overloading it because most backpacking packs have handy hip-belts to remove some of the weight from your back, better distributing the weight and helping you remain limber should dancing occur. Get yourself a travel toothbrush. Aurelle makes a sweet TOOB brush that protects your bristles and the handle doubles as a toothpaste dispenser that you can fill with Tom’s or some other natural option, because Portland.
Versatile cooking device The last thing you want to pick up here is a travel stove. I recommend the PocketRocket stove kit, it’s small so it won’t take up too much precious space in your bag but comes with ev-
erything you need from pots and mugs to sporks. Be sure to grab a little can of fuel for it. Most people think this is a waste of time to bring when going to shoot some pool or get your dance on, but just wait until someone cons you into checking out the latest meteor shower. Once you get to the middle of nowhere you’ll realize the last Taco Bell is one hour away. Now you won’t have to worry. I often hear of people bringing cups of noodles, but why do that when you can bring something wayyyy better. The last time this situation happened to me, my friends told me their stomachs were grumbly. They were skeptical when I told them not to fear, my PocketRocket is here, but after their bellies were filled with Mango
Sticky Rice, Pad Thai, and Crème Brulee, their fears subsided and the stars never looked better. After a meal like that you might want to take a snooze, so prepare for that too. I can’t tell you how happy you’ll feel if you and your date just hitchhiked to Crater Lake but remembered to pack a mummy-style sleeping bag and a pad to protect your back from the harsh pebbles of nature. So be sure to pack two of each to avoid looking like an asshole.
Vital supplies This is Portland, so you’ll want to bring a raincoat. It might be sunny now but by 3 a.m. it could be a downpour. You’ll also want to bring tons of raincoats for people’s penises too. Keep Portland safe y’all.
doesn’t mix well with everything, so you might as well grab orange, pineapple, and cranberry juices. You can’t be over-prepared. Stop by a liquor store and grab fifths of bourbon, vodka, tequila, gin, rum and scotch, ensuring everybody has something they enjoy. You might as well grab some tortilla chips and guacamole from Green Zebra; you’ll be everyone’s hero at 2 a.m. after your Uber driver refused to drive you through McDonald’s and it’s gonna be an hour till Postmates brings you Sizzle Pie. By following these simple steps you can head confidently to karaoke knowing that if anything else happens, you’re ready.
Head to Costco where you can find a box of 40 condoms for less than 20 bucks. While there, you might also want to grab a box of tampons so you’re prepared to help out women who may not have planned ahead; as a plus, if anyone has a nosebleed, the absorbent material works great for that too.
After-party ready On your way home be sure to stop by Freddy’s for after-party supplies. There’s a couple things you’ll need to get so make sure to have this list handy. First, you’ll want to get a box of Franzia, chillable red—there’s no point bringing any products that can’t hang. Also, grab a 36-pack of Rainier for those not wine savvy. For our under-21 buds and those not boozing, grab four gallons of water; this will also come in handy for cooking that sticky rice. You should also pick up an 18 pack of coke in case people want nonalcoholic bubbles or someone needs a mixer. Unfortunately, Coke
AARON UGHOC
PSU Vanguard • MAY 9, 2017 • psuvanguard.com
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N I G H T OUT
RIDESHARE HORROR STORIES NIGHTMARES FROM BEHIND THE STEERING WHEEL OF A NIGHTCRAWLER
JAKE JOHNSON
DRIVING MRS. PUKEY
Nightcrawlers are what some people in the rideshare industry call people who work the graveyard shift. Personally, I used to drive five days a week from 5 p.m. to about 6 a.m. The flexibility of rideshare driving dictates that you find a schedule that you hate the least. And since traffic infuriates me, I chose to drive at night. Ninety-five percent of passengers are fine, 4 percent are rude, and less than 1 percent are total fucking assholes. What I’m about to share focuses on those rare gems that every now and then you’ll get the displeasure of dealing with. I could talk about the time a middle-aged guy in a Hawaiian shirt tried to ask me to find him some prostitutes that he could drag back to his hotel room… Or we could look at the time a crazy drunk guy asked,
“Do you like BJs?” and I told him their pizza was pretty good, only to have him clarify that he wanted to get his dick sucked by some girl who was “hanging out with a bitch” that I could keep occupied while he was “doing his thing.” But no, I’m gonna talk about the thing that scares everybody about driving drunk people.
THE FIRST GUY THAT PUKED IN MY CAR
It was around 3:30 a.m. when the girls who flagged me down realized they got into the wrong car. The women had originally stepped into an Escalade with the doors held open by a dude wearing a suit and a man-bun. I called my passenger, but he sounded pretty drunk and very confused about where he was actually located. Finally, I found him a few blocks away. He stumbled to my car. As soon as his first leg entered my car, I smelled some
combination of maybe piss and puke, but I decided to do the right thing and help this guy get home. I rolled down the windows because the smell was nauseating. I started driving slowly and taking easy turns. After five minutes he said he might have to puke, so I gave him a one gallon zip lock bag. He puked. I don’t know if you’ve ever smelled the puke of someone you don’t care about, but it smells way worse than the puke of anyone you actually know. A few minutes passed and I noticed another smell: It smelled like the guy had shit himself. We were almost to his house, and he kept apologizing and thanking me for taking him home. I told him, “It’s fine,” and to just keep the puke bag upright and puke into it if he has to. I couldn’t wait to get this asshole out of my car so
I could clean it and keep making money with passengers that don’t lose control of themselves on a fucking school night. I actually wanted to stop driving for Lyft after that, but I didn’t have any other jobs. I also figured, “Well, it can’t get worse than this,” and, “At least I got this shitty experience out of the way.” No pun intended.
MY TROUBLES BEGAN WHEN THE RIDE ENDED Finally, we arrived at his address. As he began to get out of my car he started saying, “Oh no! I’m so sorry! Oh no!” I had a bad feeling. Sure enough, dude spilled the fucking puke bag on my backseat. Rage. All the goddamn rage, boiling to the surface. I knew there was no amount of money that Lyft could give me to clean this up and “un-spoil” my backseat.
TERRA DEHART The passenger was then standing in the middle of the street asking me if we’re cool. His pants and hands were covered with puke as he watched me look at the mess he just made. Not wanting to make the situation worse, I told him, “We’re cool” and I bailed as quickly as I possibly could. I stopped on the side of the road and wondered what the fuck I was going to do. Fortunately, a car stopped 100 feet from me, and from inside it I saw a glowing pink mustache.
I ran over to the car and the driver was confused. If Fred Armisen played an Uber driver on Portlandia, it would look just like this fuckin’ guy. I told him what happened and immediately he sprang into action. He showed me his emergency puke kit; he told me all the supplies I would need and the way I need to go about using them. I cleaned it up. It wasn’t the end of the world. I’m still a rideshare driver. Thanks Fred. Fuck you, Pukey McGee.
HANGOVER BEGONE! TOP SIX TIPS FOR TACKLING THE MORNING AFTER ANAMIKA VAUGHAN I’m sure most of you reading this are college students, and sometimes you like to dabble in a little casual (or not so casual) drinking. Drinking can be fun and can take the edge off the stresses of higher education. But hangovers are never a good time. Here are some quick tips on how to tackle those nasty hangover symptoms.
DRINK WATER
This is more of a prevention method because you don’t have to cure a hangover you don’t have. It’s also the most effective and healthy way to ease the morning after partying. Alcohol is a diuretic, which will leave you quickly dehydrated after a night out of drinking. Drink one glass of water for every one alcoholic drink, and drink around 16–20 ounces of water before going to sleep. You won’t regret it.
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THINK AHEAD WITH A PRICKLY PEAR EXTRACT
According to medscape.com, prickly pear extract has been proven through actual clinical trials to have some effect on hangover symptoms. But don’t get too excited. In order for it to be effective at all, it has to be consumed hours before the first drink. Also, the extract was only really effective for severe hangover symptoms, which it reduced by around 50 percent. Doctors also recommend staying hydrated.
HAIR OF THE DOG (MORE ALCOHOL)
This one is not so much a cure as it is a way to delay the inevitable. While it is true that having another drink in the morning does lessen the effects of a hangover, in the long term you will have to pay a dear price. And boy,
COURTESY OF USER INSIGHTZAOYA THROUGH PIXABAY is that headache going to be worse than ever. You might be better off just staying hydrated throughout the night with water.
FORGET ALCOHOL, TAKE SOME PILLS INSTEAD
No, not party pills. Pain pills. If the headache is really bad and you have class in 10 minutes, definitely pop a couple ibuprofen or Advil.
PSU Vanguard • MAY 9, 2017 • psuvanguard.com
This will help, at least for a little while. But make sure you stick to NSAID’s like aspirin, ibuprofen, and naproxen, and stay away from acetaminophen (like Tylenol). When acetaminophen mixes with alcohol it can cause liver damage and in some cases be deadly. You know what won’t be deadly? Staying hydrated. Just a thought.
FOOD
You’re probably feeling quite tired. This is because your liver is working really hard to process all of that alcohol you drank and it doesn’t have the time or energy to increase your depleted bloodsugar levels. So go for it. Eat a big breakfast. Go to a diner and order a big plate of greasy, delicious food. Or if you or your friend
keep throwing up, eating some bread or crackers will help ease their woes. Food also slows the absorption of alcohol, so you may want to eat something while you’re still out on the town. And make sure you also order a big glass of water as well. And remember, water is always an option. Make sure you drink plenty of it and keep your system flushed.
N I G H T OUT
HOW TO NOT DRINK IN DRINKING SPACES NADA SEWIDAN
There’s no shortage of drinking spaces in Portland. From restaurants, bars and clubs to concerts, events and parties, Portland seems like a drinking city. But for those who’d rather experience the atmosphere without the alcohol, here are tips on how to not drink in drinking spaces. Opt for the usual soda such as Coke, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, etc. as an alternative when out with friends. Besides soft drinks, there are many other creative substitutions for alcohol. For brunch, instead of having a waitress take drink orders, go to the bar and ask for a virgin Bloody Mary or an Apple Citrus, which looks like champagne but tastes even better. At a club, the best substitutes for mixed drinks are simply tonic water with lime or soda water with lemon. Both drinks are alcohol-free (but still appear alcoholic), and most bartenders won’t charge for just soda water or tonic water. Plain ginger ale or Perrier in a cocktail glass is another alternative. For all other drink orders simply ask the bartender for whatever cocktail minus the alcohol. For example, “Sex on the
Beach” without the alcohol will translate to a cranberry and orange juice mix without the vodka, schnapps or liqueur. The usual dive bars and breweries will almost always offer nonalcoholic beers. Ask for Kalibar, Clausthauler or Erdinger, all completely nonalcoholic and delicious. Opting for kombucha is another nonalcoholic alternative to beer. When on a wine tasting tour or at a wine bar, most of the time nonalcoholic red and white wines are available. Ask for a pour of Fre white wine or Ariel Cabernet Sauvignon red wine. Ariel offers flavors and aromas found in usual red wines such as black currants, cherries, blueberries, chocolate, with soft tannins and a dry finish, and without the actual alcohol content. When dining at a restaurant bar it’s possible to get a little more creative with nonalcoholic drinks. The usual Shirley Temple mix in exchange for cocktails is a traditional substitution. There’s also pink lemonade or pomegranate lemonade, Arnold Palmer (half lemonade, half iced tea), or Tiger
Woods (1/3 lemonade, 1/3 iced tea, 1/3 pomegranate lemonade) as a not-too-far-fetched replacement to the usual fruity mixed drinks. Ginger beer with cranberry juice or seltzer, cranberry juice and a slice of lime are among some of the substitutions available. Other creative alternatives include iced tea or ginger ale with a dash of Angostura bitters; the bitters do have a miniscule amount of alcohol, but overall it’s a viable nonalcoholic substitution. At concerts, order the well drinks without the alcohol. Ask the bartender for a Tequila Sunrise without the tequila, which is orange juice, grenadine and cherries. Even speciality drinks can be easily made nonalcoholic. Virgin espresso martinis (which is espresso and cream in a martini glass), piña coladas, margaritas and mojitos can be made virgin, losing the alcohol but none of the flavor. Remember, most alcoholic cocktails can be made without alcohol, and most drinking spaces will accommodate those nondrinkers with appropriate alternatives.
HOW TO DRINK IN NONDRINKING SPACES GRAY BOUCHAT Drinking in nondrinking spaces can be kind of a drag. Like, how are you supposed to get your buzz on if you’re in a place that doesn’t call for that kind of fun? Well, don’t you worry, I got you covered. Music festivals, libraries, clubs, conventions: All these places would be prime locations to get a little tipsy, yet most of them don’t allow you to bring your own alcoholic beverage, and some don’t permit drinking at all. There has to be a way around that. Water bottle? Check. Vodka? Check. Kool-Aid packet? Check. If you have a water bottle, even if it’s clear, you can totally pour some vodka in there and spice it up with your favorite flavor of Kool-Aid. But with this method (and all of these methods, frankly) you must be aware of your breath and the stench of the alcoholic beverage you are consuming in secret. I would always have a breath mint on hand, even though alcohol and breath mints don’t really blend. You have to do what you have to do. If you’re a person with long hair, the classic way to hide your booze is in that long-ass, thick-ass ponytail of yours. Simply start with your hair down, put the bottle of your choice in the middle of your hair and secure it inside with two hairbands (or more, depending on the weight of your drink). Then pull the hair over the bottle to ensure maximum coverage. If you want to make it even more obscure, you could top it off with a bow. Or if you’re too paranoid, this may call too much attention to your massive pony tail. This next one is genius if you want to seem like a wholesome person. Acquire a BabyBjörn-style front baby carrier and insert a fake, plastic child. Make a hole at the top of the baby’s head and pour your liquid of choice into the baby (remember to sanitize the baby first). Grab a long straw and insert it into the baby’s head. Cover with a hat. Sneak a couple sips when no one is looking. Now you have a portable drinking device, and people will think you’re a decent human taking your baby to the library to learn! Win-win! Another idea is to stock up on those little mini fridge bar bottles from the hotel. These are the perfect size to sneak into
anywhere. If you have a purse or bag, you could have a secret pocket inside of it, so if your bag does get checked, they won’t see the small little bottle you have hiding in the secret compartment. I suggest cutting a hole in the inside of the fabric between the inner lining to the outer lining. Secure the compartment with some kind of material to make a pocket. These small bottles would also hide in a hat or in your shoe. Another alternative is to soak some gummy bears in alcohol and
have those as a snack. You can munch on them forever! You can also inject strawberries with alcohol; basically anything that can absorb or be injected with alcohol will work. No one will suspect a thing. Remember, only take these tips if you don’t plan on driving! And whether you’re sneaking drinks in your hair or a baby’s head, happy drinking! Disclaimer: The Vanguard does not endorse irresponsible or illegal drinking. Fill a fake baby with booze at your own risk.
LYDIA WOJACK-WEST
PSU Vanguard • MAY 9, 2017 • psuvanguard.com
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N I G H T OUT
SPORTS NIGHT OUT
ALTERNATIVE SPORTING EVENTS TO OCCUPY YOUR SPRING EVENINGS
STEVE OLSON
AARON UGHOC
BASEBALL
The Hillsboro Hops are a Class A short season affiliate of the Arizona Diamondbacks. The Hops offer the highest level of baseball in the Portland area. Tickets go on sale May 20, so get them early and be prepared for the start of baseball season in June.
BOXING
With the rise of mixed martial arts in popular culture, the sport of boxing, especially local boxing, has been overshadowed. The multiple events on the regional circuits are nice to see and give the boxing fan plenty of events to see in the Portland area. 21ST ANNUAL FRED ENSLOW MEMORIAL TOURNAMENT: MAY 20–21 Location: Garden Home Recreation Center, 7475 SW Oleson Road, Portland, OR
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Times: Saturday at 1 p.m. and 7 p.m. Sunday championship begins at noon.
RACING
WEEKLY THURSDAY NIGHT MOTOCROSS Thursday Night Motocross offers multiple classes that are available to the beginning track racer, serious racer, or even the old man that just wants to race again. Most classes are open to two-stroke and four-stroke bikes. Spectators are treated to up close intense racing action. They also get their fix of motocross action until AMA motocross comes to Washougal at the end of July. Location: Portland International Raceway Time: Gates open at 4 p.m. Motos start at 6 p.m. Tickets: Ticket prices for adults start at $8 and $5 for kids. The cost of participation for racers is $22 and requires a racing license.
WEEKLY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY LATE NIGHT DRAGS Would you like to see how fast your car can drive without being arrested? If yes, then this is the most perfect and safe place to do it. Multiple passes allow you to get your car dialed in to where you want it. Even if you’re not competitive, it’s a good time to see what your car can do. If you don’t have anything to drive though, watching is the second best thing and prices are fair. Location: Portland International Raceway Time: 5:30–11 p.m. Tickets: Spectator tickets are $9. Racing tickets are $30. BUD LIGHT LIME-A-RITA LADIES NIGHT: MAY 6 Sunset Speedway in Banks, Oregon is one of the nicest dirt tracks in Oregon. The race track is also fairly close to Portland so travel time is no worry.
PSU Vanguard • MAY 9, 2017 • psuvanguard.com
Speedway offers weekly racing every Saturday along with a variety of race classes, so the racing never gets stale and is always exciting. Location: Sunset Speedway, 12765 NW Main Street, Banks, OR 97106 Time: Gates open at 4 p.m. and racing starts at 6:30 p.m. Tickets: Tickets are $13 for adults and $10 for seniors, military members, and juniors. Tickets for kids are $5. Ladies who wish to attend the special event can purchase their ticket for a special price of $5.
MIXED MARTIAL ARTS
RUMBLE AT THE ROSELAND 92: MAY 13 The explosion of MMA around the globe has also found its way to Portland. Multiple MMA gyms have sprung up around the Portland area offering various martial arts to practitioners. Perhaps the most famous gym in Oregon is Team Quest, which
spawned UFC legend Randy Couture and other fighters like Chael Sonnen and Matt Lindland. With the rise of MMA’s popularity, the quality of MMA has grown fast in Oregon. Many of the best fighters compete at this annual Roseland event. Location: Roseland Theater, Portland OR Time: Fights start at 7 p.m. Tickets: Tickets range from $29–59 depending where you sit and must be purchased online. Balcony tickets can be purchased for those who are 21 and over. SUBMISSION UNDERGROUND 4: MAY 14 MMA Fighter Chael Sonnen is set to host this year’s Submission Underground 4 on May 14. Sonnen himself has competed in the series against former UFC champion Jon Jones where he lost the fight by submission.
The main event features Dillon Danis fighting against Jake Shields, who are both black belt Brazilian jiu jitsu fighters. The two also happen to have a long, heated history. Danis was hired by Connor McGregor for his rematch with Jake Shields’ teammate, Nate Diaz. Diaz lost the rematch, though many felt Diaz won. The trash talk has made this grappling match all the more exciting. In addition, the co-main event features newly retired UFC fighter Urijah Faber. With big name events like this, Submission Underground is becoming increasingly more popular and fans can check it out in their own urban backyard. Location: Roseland Theater, Portland, OR Time: 3 p.m. Tickets: Tickets range from $30– 50 depending on the seat. The event will also be live streamed on Flograppling.com.
N I G H T OUT
BARCADE FIRE: BEST PORTLAND BARCADES RANDEE-JO BARCINAS-MANGLONA Stuck between wanting to be a grown up and a kid at the same time? What better way to not have to choose than by checking out some of Portland’s greatest barcades? Our city offers some awesome barcades that allow you to be both. These places give you the opportunity to indulge in much-needed alcoholic beverages and at the same time blow off some steam by playing your childhood-favorite arcade games.
they offer numerous options to fit everyone’s interests. From monthly comedy shows, kickass DJs, and trivia nights, Ground Kontrol is the definition of a good time. They welcome all ages from noon–4:50 p.m., and switch to 21 and over starting at 4:30 p.m. Don’t miss out on their awesome recurring events such as Free Play, when you and your friends can play on all video games and pinball tables for free.
GROUND KONTROL
C BAR
Located in Old Town Chinatown, Ground Kontrol is known to be Portland’s hottest barcade and should be in everyone’s “Must Visit” list, whether you’re a local or tourist. Not only do they feature a full-service bar, they also offer over 60 classic video games, pinball machines, and other fun activities, such as karaoke and game tournaments. The place is guaranteed to give you and your friends a fun and unforgettable night, especially since
If you’re looking for something simple to keep you entertained while you grab a few rounds, C Bar, located on Portland’s lower east side might be your best option. The bar is considered one of the city’s hottest spots to play pinball, as it features about 15 games from Rose City Pinball. Kids are welcome until 9:30 p.m as long as they are accompanied by a parent or guardian. Word on the street is that C Bar’s awesome beer selection and
food menu will keep you coming back for more. They also frequently change it up to keep regulars interested and indulged. C Bar is perfect if you’re looking to simply relax and avoid a busy crowd.
QUARTERWORLD ARCADE
Settled in SE Hawthorne, QuarterWorld is one of Portland’s newest barcades and is most appreciated for its great selection of food and drinks, clean and spacious atmosphere, and lenient hours. People of all ages are able to enjoy the wide range of new and classic games up until 8 p.m. For those 21 and over, doors are open until 1 a.m. The place is perfect for families looking to spend quality time together and is available to rent for birthdays, fundraisers, or company parties. Lastly, their top-notch musical Tesla Coil is too awesome to miss! You can catch it in action on Tuesdays and Sundays at 4 p.m. and 9 p.m.
PUNCH BOWL SOCIAL
Located in Pioneer Place, Punch Bowl Social is the ideal place to accommodate a large group of friends, family members, or colleagues. Perfect for social events, the spot is equipped with arcade games, karaoke, a bowling alley, and music entertainment. Staff members are said to be extremely nice and accommodating and the food very satisfying. The huge space itself is enough to keep your group feeling comfortable and free the whole time. Depending on whether or not you’re going out with a few friends, alone, or family, these barcades contain different amenities and offers to fit your needs. Nonetheless, each of them is certain to make your night out both successful and enjoyable. Don’t forget to have fun and drink responsibly!
PORTLAND IMPROV NIGHTS ANAMIKA VAUGHAN
Are you heading out for a night on the town, but you’re not sure how to get your kicks? Why not check out Portland’s growing improv comedy scene? There are so many places you can go these days, and in some places you can get in for as little as $3 (if you don’t mind watching amateurs and rookies).
BRODY THEATER
The Brody Theater is located in downtown Portland and is the home to both improv shows and classes. The Brody Theater hosts events almost every night, costing between $3 (for performances from beginners) and $12 (for more seasoned professionals). Here are a few upcoming events to note: The Supernova Student Showcase, Thursday, May 11, is a showcase put on by the students of their various comedy improv classes. Girls Girls Girls, Friday, May 12, is a show put on by both Brody Theater and Portland’s longest running female improv comedy group (running since 2002). You can also catch Sexy Secrets, a more mature-themed show the following Saturday night. Recurring shows include Three Bucks Yuck on Mondays, Odd Couples on Thursdays and Diabolical Experiments on Sundays.
KICKSTAND COMEDY SPACE
The Kickstand Comedy Space is a performer-run comedy space located at the Siren Theater in Old Town, Portland. Every Tuesday night is jam packed with improvised comedy with two shows running: The Velodrome and Beyond the Velodrome. All ages are welcome.
CURIOUS COMEDY THEATER
The Curious Comedy Theater is located in NE Portland and hosts a wide variety of improv comedy. Feel like you and your friends have what it takes to be improv stars? Why not turn up for their Thursday Night Throwdown this Thursday, May 11? It’s a first come, first served basis, and the event is free (with a $5 suggested donation). Perhaps you want to see some more seasoned professionals improvise their comedy? No problemo. On Saturday, May 13 CCT is hosting the musical comedy show Pipes. That’s right: improvised musical comedy. Portland has something for everybody.
COMEDYSPORTZ
ComedySportz is a more fast-paced, competitive take on improvised comedy. Every Friday and Saturday night, two teams improvise against each other like a sport. ComedySportz events are located in the CSz Portland Arena in NW Portland and begin at 8 p.m. Tickets to the event cost around $15 and all ages are welcome.
PEACHY CHICKEN
The Peachy Chicken is an improv comedy troupe that performs at the Oregon Public House every Friday night for $10.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE...
If you just can’t get enough of Portland’s improvised comedy scene, mark your calendars for Stumptown Improv Festival this August 3–5. SIF will be featuring local comedy talents from all the theaters and shows mentioned in this article. So get out there and embarrass yourself already!
THE CURIOUS COMEDY THEATRE, LOCATED ON NORTH EAST MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BOULEVARD NORTH PORTLAND. SILVIA CARDULLO/PSU VANGUARD
PSU Vanguard • MAY 9, 2017 • psuvanguard.com
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N I G H T OUT
THIS WEEKEND AROUND THE WORLD DEVON STOEBER
From quad-vods to family nights smoking cigars and dipping churros in chocolate sauce, four Portland State students describe what a typical night out looks like around the world and how it differs from nightlife in Portland.
Sheffield, England
It was a typical Thursday morning and student Anna Conner watched as fellow international students rushed to change out of their white button-downs and ties from the night before in order to make it to lecture on time. Wednesday nights in Sheffield are “Corp Nights,” a reference to one of the most popular nightclubs in town, Corporation. On Wednesday, the club gives discounts to students as long as they are wearing the traditional English school uniform of a white button-down shirt and a tie. Conner explained that a night out at Corp was always a night you were planning on getting wasted. For example, the signature drink is called a quad-vod—four shots of vodka mixed with a bright blue energy drink that, when accidentally spilled, leaves a lot of the white button-downs looking less than school uniform appropriate. According to Conner, while some students left the club earlier in order to squeeze in a few hours of sleep before lecture started at 8 a.m., there were many students who had just left the club, giving themselves only enough time to change into new clothes for the school day. One of the biggest differences in night life abroad that Conner noticed is the timing of a typical night out in the United Kingdom. In Portland, Conner imagined a typical night out lasting from about 9 p.m. and ending no later than 2 a.m., since that is last call at bars in Portland. However, in Sheffield, most bars and clubs stay open until 5 or 6 a.m. “Pre-drinks—they don’t call it pregaming,” Connor explained, “It’s always pre-drinks—those don’t even really start until like 10 p.m. Most people don’t leave their flat until midnight.” Conner attempted to try the nightlife culture a handful of times while abroad, ultimately deciding it wasn’t really her scene. “I traveled quite a bit around Europe while I was abroad, but the United Kingdom, from my experience, is maybe one of the most intense places to go out and participate in nights out,” Conner said. While the crazy clubs and bars might not have been Conner’s ideal night out, she said there is another option for those not attracted to the idea of stumbling into a lecture straight after a night of binge drinking. “A pub night is much quieter,” Conner said. “That’s going to be closer to the hours I think Americans are comfortable with because pubs usually close at 11:30 p.m. or 12 a.m.” Conner said pubs drew her in more with the calmer environment, the option to have food while drinking and the addition of televised sporting events and trivia nights. “Pubs are more occupied by middle-aged men,” Conner said with a laugh. “But that’s the kind of scene that I’m comfortable with.”
Quezon City, Philippines
Evening fell in Quezon City and student Amy Klein and her family crouched into the sidecar of a motorcycle to get to the local shopping center. According to Klein, this “trike” is a common mode of transportation. “It’s like a taxi,” Klein said. “It’s so fun, but sometimes you feel like you’re going to die. [There are] no traffic rules there and you’re in this little, dingy, metal sidecar.” Around town, young boys played basketball at local parks and Klein recalled her dad going to smoke a cigar with other family members over a drink. However, for anyone in their
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teens to early twenties, the shopping center is the place to be. “Quezon city has a few all boys schools, all girls schools and two colleges, so it’s a lot of young people,” Klein said. For the most part, Klein described the atmosphere of a night out as much more laid back than ones she has experienced in Portland. “Everyone’s just out eating food,” Klein said. “There’s an arcade, there’s the movie theater, there are outdoor grass areas—all at the shopping center.” After arriving at their destination, Klein would head to her favorite dessert place. Inside, groups of friends gathered around tables sharing churros and dipping them into chocolate sauce. “You see groups of girls and it’s really cute, young girls like 15, they walk and they all hold hands,” Klein recalled. “Friendship is so different to them there than it is here. These girls grew up going to school together forever and they’re all walking around hand-in-hand, giggling.”
Koror, Palau
“They like to get crunk,” student Neal Ngirarois said of his family’s home country, Palau, located in the western Pacific Ocean. “Everybody just goes to the club and dances.” A big difference Ngirarois noticed is the age difference between those who typically go out drinking in Portland compared to who goes dancing in Palau. From cousins ages 12 and 13 to aunts and uncles getting down in their 50s and 60s, Ngirarois said everyone spends their nights out clubbing there. “They start in middle school,” Ngirarois said. “I don’t know if that’s right, but that’s what they do. All ages.” Ngirarois has spent most of his time in Palau on the main island, Koror. When his dad tells him stories of living on the island he remembers playing guitar at the club while everyone danced. “My pops was popping back in the day,” Ngirarois said, but he thinks it is just part of the night-life culture there. “I mean, it’s in the middle of the ocean, so you can’t really do anything else.”
Buenos Aires, Argentina
SHANNON KIDD Compared to a night out in Portland, drinking culture is extremely different in Quezon City. Although Klein spent a majority of her time there with family instead of experiencing nights out, she still believes that type of culture doesn’t really exist there. “It’s very family-oriented for everyone there,” Klein said. “I don’t think they really go clubbing with their girls. For example, I do have friends there who are our age and I see their snapchats of them drinking, but it seems very innocent.” According to Klein, there are no house parties, and from what she saw walking around there doesn’t appear to be many clubs. Klein believes this is because of the heavy influence of Catholicism in their culture. The most intense nights out Klein witnessed may have been a group of close friends drinking in their house. “They’re all very strict there. It’s very Catholic, so that’s not a thing they do,” Klein said. “They’re not going wild.”
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As the sun started to rise around 7 a.m., student Lee Baker crawled into bed, finally ready to fall asleep after a long night trying to keep up with the bustling city nightlife of Buenos Aires, Argentina. “I’ve never stayed up that late before,” Baker said, laughing. “I want to say that the place we went didn’t even open until like midnight or 1 a.m. and probably closed at 8 a.m., but we definitely didn’t stay that late.” Baker was not used to the timing of a night out in Buenos Aires after being accustomed to nights out in America ending much earlier. Regardless of the exhaustion of partying until the late morning, Baker remembered the clubs were nonetheless packed all weekend long. “If you want a night out, you go to the club,” Baker said. “Judging by the amount of people that were at the club leads me to believe people don’t really go to bars, you just go to a club.” Other than the timing difference, Baker noticed a much wider age range participating in the club scene than he felt was typical in the United States. “It was weird to see a wide range of ages,” Baker said. “It wasn’t just young people. Anywhere from 18 and younger, like 16 or 17, all the way to late 30s early 40s.” Baker didn’t think the drinking age in Buenos Aires was as strictly enforced as it is in the U.S. While there were bouncers at the doors, Baker felt they were mainly there for security reasons as he only had to show his ID once throughout the entire night. According to Baker, if you weren’t one of the people packing into the clubs, you were most likely leaving work and heading for the trains out of the city and toward home. “The trains are packed at a certain hour with commuters, and after that it’s just dead,” Baker said. “It’s immediate. The city is full of people one second, and then these alleyways and little streets, around like 8 or 9 p.m., were just empty like ghost towns.” During his time in the city Baker discovered the utility of communicating with hand gestures and impromptu sign language. “I thought I had more knowledge about Spanish before I went,” Baker admitted. “It was like a reality check for me on my Spanish.” While he was able to manage some Spanglish in order to communicate with younger individuals, his English was a lost cause when trying to communicate with the older people in the club. “It’s not even that you don’t know what the word is,” Baker said. “It’s just that they talk so fast. Then you throw drinking into the matter. I really learned how easy it is to communicate with numbers and fingers.”
N I G H T OUT
DON’T BE ‘THAT GUY’
JUSTIN THURER
Concert season is about to begin and it’s time to brush up on the spoken and unspoken rules of concert etiquette. Here are 11 tips to avoid becoming “that guy” at your next event. You know exactly who we’re talking about…
UNDERESTIMATING TRAVEL TIME
We all know that Trimet can be unpredictable sometimes, so if you’re taking public transportation to the Chelsea Wolfe show, make sure you leave 10–15 minutes earlier than normal. If you’re taking an Uber or Lyft to an event, leave twice as early.
SPEAKING OF UBER AND LYFT…
Once the event is over, try to walk two-to-four blocks away from the concert venue in order to avoid those pesky prime time fees.
WILL CALL HOLDUPS
If you have tickets waiting at will call, please put down your phone and put out your joint before you get to the window. The poor soul in the ticket booth just wants to help everyone as quickly as they can. Besides, the faster you get your ticket, the faster you get in.
PUSHING TO THE FRONT
If you arrive to the show late, especially with a group, don’t try to
push your way to the front. Not only is it super disruptive, but it’ll upset all the people around you who got there early so they could be up front. I can promise that the music is just as awesome in the back.
DANCING AND PERSONAL SPACE
If you want to dance, please do! However, keep in mind that the people around you might not share your enthusiasm. Also, it’s always important to ask someone if they’re comfortable dancing with you instead of assuming so.
HOLDING YOUR LIQUOR
This is an important piece of advice, literally and figuratively. I’ve had many an
alcoholic beverage spilled on me at shows, and it never gets less annoying. Make sure that if you’ve got a drink in your hand, you’re able to hold it steadily. If you start to feel sick, try to make it safely to the nearest bathroom or ask the venue’s bartender to call you a ride home.
TALL VS. SHORT
If you get to a show late and you’re particularly tall, try not to purposely stand in front of someone who is significantly shorter than you. The concert floor is fair game before the show begins, but after that it’s good to let everyone else have the same opportunity to see the band.
TURNING YOUR FLASH OFF
It’d be crazy for me to tell someone to never use their phone. Hell, I’ve wanted to take pictures at most shows I’ve been at. Be aware though, some venues will eject you if they catch you using the flash on your camera, especially when the camera’s flash is distracting to the performers.
BUYING MERCH
Never, ever, buy event merchandise before the show starts. You don’t want that vinyl copy of Kurt Vile’s new
album to get destroyed, do you? There should be plenty of merchandise available when the show is over. Plus, you’ll be able to take home your new item without the worry of your hard-earned cash being wasted.
BE RESPECTFUL
This is the most important rule of all. If someone doesn’t want you to buy them a drink, don’t. If someone seems too drunk, don’t try to flirt with them throughout the show. Remember, everyone is there to have fun and get home safely.
TALKING
For the love of Elliott Smith, please try not to talk during an acoustic performance. If it’s a heavier show, a little talking won’t hurt anyone. However, if you’re at an acoustic show, try and save the talking for after the set. Every whisper counts.
ROBBY DAY
BLAZED AND CONFUZED GRAY BOUCHAT
SHANNON KIDD
It’s been one of those nights. You know the ones. It’s after midterms and that huge test, and literally, all you need to do is take a night to yourself. Intoxication seems like a really nice answer. Like, seriously, get out there with some friends to your favorite bar—take that shot—or four. Hit that joint. But crap, now you have to get home. Phones are dead. No Uber. No cab. (Ha right, getting a cab in Portland?) Don’t worry, I got you covered. Navigating through Portland sober is hard enough. You can get turned upside down so easily. I do, 24/7. The only thing that lets me know where I am is if I somehow find some tracks. So the first step is to look on the street and see if you can find the streetcar tracks. Once you find those, they will help you get around Portland to your destination, even if it’s PSU. It’s a lot easier said than done, because at this point, you prob-
ably have no idea where you are. It’s dark, and your friend is an idiot, and it’s cold and most likely raining. You wonder if you will ever feel the soft comfort of your bed again. You begin to wonder if this is where you have always wanted your life. In the cold, dark streets of Portland, making sure your friend doesn’t puke on themselves. That college degree is worth it though. So find the tracks. But you’ll probably be distracted by one person. You can’t tell if they live on the streets or just have an odd sense of fashion. They are sporting a large backpack, so you assume the former. You tell them you don’t have any change, and they look at you, offended. You say, “Hey man, I’m kind of fucked here, can you please help me out? Where’s the streetcar stop?” The person, much to your surprise, just walks away and doesn’t bug you anymore.
You will later find out that person was, in fact, your professor. You think, maybe if you can find a bridge, you would be able to navigate where a streetcar stop may be in comparison to the distance from the bridge. You then realize that sentence makes no sense, and yet, you continue to look for a bridge. However, you forget it is dark and can’t see. Then you remember that bridges are large and have lights so people can see them in the dark. You wish you had a car. Then realize you shouldn’t smoke and step on the gas. At least, that’s what they taught you in middle school. So here you are, still, kind of on the sidewalk and kind of not, kind of questioning your life, kind of craving Voodoo. You continue to walk until you make it to what you believe to be Pioneer Square. You see the red, glistening sign of Target and won-
der if they sell Voodoo. Your friend is besides you, conversing with the man who frequents the sidewalk outside of Target, selling his colorful rocks. You enter the automatic doors and look beside you, now seeing your friend has an armful of rocks. You begin to question your life once again. Once determining you don’t really want Starbucks, you exit Target. Then you hear it. You hear the rumbling of the streetcar and its delightful honk as the conductor lays down the law on a stupid tourist who doesn’t understand city life. You grab your friend and pull them with you as they scream in protest, their rock family being left behind. The door to the streetcar opens and you wiggle into a seat, leaning your head on the window. It only takes you 20 minutes to realize you actually live in Beaverton.
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N I G H T OUT
CONTEMPLATING CONSENT CULTURE JENNEE MARTINEZ
Imagine a picture-perfect night out with your super-cute date who also happens to be your super-cute crush you’ve been lovin’ up on and spendin’ lots of time with lately. It started off as a night consisting of vegan whole bowls and lactose-free ice cream and has now been topped off with hours spent at Holocene dancin’ and drinking. This super-cute date of yours recognizes your drunkenness and your vulnerability and starts making some moves to get straight down to doin’ the dirty. But instead of simply making the moves without any conversation or consultation, this date asks for your consent. They express their desires, their needs, and wait for you to express yours. And when—or if—you say no, this super cute date of yours halts all efforts and thoughts and lets the sexual intentions die before the intentions become an actual act. Sadly, in our culture today, this scenario may have been played out much differently. Though the idea of consent has been more openly stressed and openly expressed, it has been assumed that a sexual act can first be attempted without asking for permission or receiving consent from the person who will become a sexual partner. It’s almost assumed that it’s okay if sexual acts are initiated because the simple initiation isn’t necessarily wrong. After all, how are you going to know how your partner feels about this sexual act unless you start doing it? In many minds, it only becomes wrong to continue with these sexual acts if someone expresses the desire for it to stop, although things have already started. However, consent is the only way to know what your partner wants, what your partner doesn’t want, and exactly what they are okay with. Consent is necessary before the sexual act even starts, before anyone is ever touched, and before anyone is ever put in a situation where they don’t feel safe, happy, or secure.
Ask • “Is this okay?” • “Are you comfortable?” • “Do you want to slow down?” Communicate your needs and wants. Respect your partner’s needs and wants. Silence is never consent. The absence of words should never be assumed to be a yes, a no, a maybe, or an answer. The only type of consent that will allow you to bring your fantasies and desires to life is a yes. No consent, no sex. No consent, no touching. No consent, no further action is allowed. Period.
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In a perfect culture where consent is mandatory—not sexy as those super cliche, over-sold sweatshirts actually say—consent is obtained before any sexual act starts. It’s gathered by asking questions, possibly coming to agreement, and solidified with a definitive answer. In a perfect culture where consent is mandatory, the inability to answer because of intoxication or drunkenness is not considered a green light. In a perfect culture where consent is mandatory, short shorts, halter tops, or any other form of clothing—or the lack of clothing—does not mean sexual acts are welcome or wanted. These things do not count as permission. In a perfect culture where consent is mandatory, coercion is not validated when things do not go your way.
Red flags to LEAVE THE SITUATION • Your partner guilts, pressures, or tries to persuade you to do things you do not wish to do. • Your partner reacts negatively to your no or advances despite it. • Your partner ignores your attempts to communicate needs and wants. In a perfect culture where consent is mandatory, no means no. And it doesn’t feel wrong to say no. When no is muttered, screamed or softly spoken, no violent act is taken out on the person who turned you down. In a perfect culture where consent is mandatory, permission to proceed is gathered before it feels too late to turn back: before shame or feelings of guilt or remorse begin to creep up. I’d like to live here, and it makes me sad to feel as if this culture is far-fetched from my own reality. Culture is fluid though, meaning it changes and fluctuates and may differ from time to time. So no, this culture is not unobtainable. We’ve just got to work to actually create it.
Red flags to STOP ACTION • Your partner says no. • Your partner is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. • Nonverbal cues such as pushing away or trying to leave. • Your partner says yes out of fear or pressure.
PSU Vanguard • MAY 9, 2017 • psuvanguard.com
TERRA DEHART
N I G H T OUT
I’M BOARD! SUGGESTIONS FOR A NIGHT IN PLAYING BOARD GAMES TIM SULLIVAN
Get to know how well your friends lie and later doubt the reasons on why they can’t hang out. Speaking of lying. How well do you trust that your friends are who they say they are? Are you even sure if you are really you? With the semi-cooperative card game “Total Rickall,” based off the “Rick and Morty” episode of the same name, you and four of your friends will play a 30-minute game doubting if they’re a real person or a parasite playing a real person. Eliminate all of the parasites and don’t kill any real people. Looking at you, Beth!
COOPERATIVE
TIM SULLIVAN/PSU VANGUARD Going out can be a hassle. From dealing with cover charges, overpriced drinks, blaring music that you have to yell over just to have a conversation, and people in general, sometimes staying in is the favorable choice. Why not bring your friends over to your place and do things differently? Certainly, you’ll have to clean up the stacks of old pizza boxes, pick up your scattered dirty clothes and blast your bathroom with a power washer, but, hey, it’ll be cheaper than a night out and less taxing on your anxiety. So what do you do with your friends in such intimate settings? Well, you revert back to your younger adolescent self and bust out a board or card game. I know, I know, only geeks, dweebs and nerds stay at home and play tabletop RPGs. But in today’s pop culture, geekiness is in. Why not embrace your inner dork and get lost in a game? Here are a few suggestions to get “board” with your friends.
CARD GAMES
Have you ever wanted to live the third act of The Deer Hunter and play a rousing game of Russian roulette, but without the guns, drugs and guilt of participating in the Vietnam War? You do! Well, then “Exploding Kittens” is up your alley. Created by
some people from The Oatmeal, Marvel and Xbox, 2–5 players try to avoid drawing an exploding kitten while collecting cards to screw over opponents and cause them to draw the dastardly feline that’ll ruin their night. Not wanting to gamble with your life? Then how about
gambling with your money? Play the card game that is the favorite of statisticians and people with liver cirrhosis, “Texas Hold’em Poker.” Every player gets two cards and hopes that the cards laid down in the center of the table will work to their benefit. Oh, and there’s bluffing too!
Would you rather build and foster trust with your buds instead of screwing them over? How about saving the world from unfathomable Lovecraftian horrors? Do you and your friends have fiveplus hours to kill? Then get lost in the nightmare world of “Eldritch Horror.” Play with up to eight people and travel around the world solving mysteries and stopping the Great Old Ones from destroying the Earth. This game is a beast to learn, hard to beat, and once you do feel the joys
of victory, another Old One is waiting in the wings to cause havoc. Do you and your friends enjoy terrible horror movies? Especially ones with a twist? Check out “Betrayal at House on the Hill,” a game where you and 2–5 friends explore a creepy house and solve its mystery. With every new game, the house changes and there are over 50 different scenarios to beat, so replayability is high. But what’s the twist? Well, let’s just say that one of your friends might not be on the up and up. So keep a close eye on them. I hope these suggestions have fostered the idea that it’s OK to stay in and play a game with some friends. The games featured here are only a drop in the bucket of possibilities. Portland has numerous stores (*cough, cough* Guardian Games *cough, cough*) that sell a multitude of board games in all types of genres and styles. If you’re unsure about investing in a game, there’s a whole assortment of YouTube channels, like Geek and Sundry, that provide reviews and playthroughs. So, go forth my friends, invite people over and nerd out!
COURTESY OF USER GERALDSHIELDS11 THROUGH WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
PSU Vanguard • MAY 9, 2017 • psuvanguard.com
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May 9–15
EVENT LISTINGS
OFF CAMPUS FEATURED EVENT
NIGHTLIFE WHITE OWL SOCIAL QUESTLOVE CLUB SATURDAY, MAY 13 $25, 21+ 9 P.M. The Roots’ legendary frontman/drummer and Hamilton producer plays a DJ set.
TUESDAY, MAY 9 ART TALK CLINTON STREET WHAT IS ART? THEATER 7 P.M. $7–13, ALL AGES Shane Bugbee and Rick Shapiro host an accessible, open-ended discussion on the power of art and what this power means for artists. DRAG DARCELLE XV CATCH A RISING STAR SHOWPLACE 7 P.M. $5, 21+ Poison Waters hosts this revue to decide which new artists will be allowed to perform in the eponymous drag queen’s legendary Friday revue. Drink + food specials abound.
WEDNESDAY, MAY 10 ROCK 7:30 P.M. THURSTON MOORE MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS BAND SOLD OUT, 21+ Kim Gordon’s ex-husband’s “solo” project includes fellow Sonic Youth member Steve Shelley and My Bloody Valentine bassist Debbie Googe. The group tours in support of their freshly released album, Rock n Roll Consciousness. FOLK ROCK REVOLUTION HALL AIMEE MANN SOLD OUT, ALL AGES 7 P.M. The ‘Til Tuesday frontwoman and Portlandia alum tours in support of her new album, Mental Illness. INDIE ROCK LAGUNITAS TINY DESK CONTEST ON COMMUNITY ROOM THE ROAD SOLD OUT, 21+ 7 P.M. NPR’s Tiny Desk comes to Portland with recent contest winners Tank and the Bangas, with OPB hosting Portland’s supporting talent: Haley Heynderickx, Lola Buzzkill and Family Mansion. FILM CLINTON ST. THEATER SISSI (1955) $8–10, ALL AGES 7 P.M. The Austrian cinema classic about a Bavarian princess (Romy Schneider) who courts and marries Emperor Franz Josef (Karl Heinzböhm) screens on the 35th anniversary of Schneider’s death. Sissi was meant to restore national confidence and alleviate the stress of postwar reconstruction through presenting idyllic country scenes.
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HIP-HOP 7:30 P.M. CHRIS BROWN, O.T. MODA CENTER GENASIS, FABOLOUS, $50+, ALL AGES KAP G Chris Brown is still an unrepentant, violent misogynist, and at this point I wonder if America even cares any more. MODERN DANCE ARLENE SCHNITZER MARTHA GRAHAM CONCERT HALL DANCE COMPANY $26–76, ALL AGES 7:30 P.M. America’s oldest contemporary dance company performs their namesake’s masterpiece Diversion of Angels (1948). FUNDRAISER CENTURY FLAWLESS BINGO FREE, 21+ 9:30 P.M. Bring your dollar bills to both play bingo and tip emcee Flawless Shade. Dollars raised benefit the 501(c)3 nonprofit Sweethearts of Portland.
THURSDAY, MAY 11 ROCK 6 P.M. EVERCLEAR, VERTICAL CRYSTAL BALLROOM HORIZON, FASTBALL $37.50–225, 21+ McMenamins brings the #1 band Portland loves to hate to celebrate the 20th anniversary of their ’90s classic So Much for the Afterglow. THEATRE ALADDIN THEATER STRAIGHT OUTTA OZ $30–80, ALL AGES 7 P.M. Todrick Hall (American Idol, YouTube, RuPaul’s Drag Race) brings his semi-autobiographical Wizard of Ozthemed show back to Portland. COMEDY DATES/TIMES) BRAD WILLIAMS HELIUM COMEDY CLUB 8 P.M. (MULTIPLE SHOW $15–23, 21+ The actor and comedian (Mind Of Mencia, Live at Gotham, The Tonight Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Pitboss, U.S. troops) brings his observational humor to Portland.
FRIDAY, MAY 12 READING PORTLAND ART QUEEN OF THE NIGHT MUSEUM READING SERIES $5, ALL AGES 6:30 P.M. Readers Anna Doogan, Mary Rechner, and Patricia Romero read works from Zora Neale Hurston during PAM’s $5 After 5. CIRCUS ALADDIN THEATER TAPE FACE $29.50, ALL AGES 7 P.M. The America’s Got Talent alum performs his signature mime-work.
PSU Vanguard • MAY 9, 2017 • psuvanguard.com
DANCE MUSIC 8 P.M. THE POLISH CRYSTAL BALLROOM AMBASSADOR $27, 21+ The DJ’s semi-annual Portland appearance marks the release of his new album, Color of Flight.
CABARET HIGH WATER MARK THE CRAMPS LOUNGE BURLESQUE TRIBUTE $12, 21+ 9 P.M. Mystic O’Reilly hosts this burlesque tribute to “the trashiest, sleaziest ’50s throwbacks to ever besmirch the good name of rock ’n’ roll,” with performances from Baby Le’Strange, Diamondback Annie (L.A.), Rummy Rose and Wanda Bones. NIGHTLIFE 9 P.M. DANCE YOURSELF HOLOCENE CLEAN $5–8, 21+ Popular monthly indie-pop dance party from Lights & Music Collective.
SATURDAY, MAY 13 INDIE ROCK 8:30 P.M. GOODTIMES, BULLETS SECRET SOCIETY & BELLES, STREETNIK & $10, 21+ FRIENDS HHP presents a release party for the headliners, who are debuting a new E.P. CABARET FUNHOUSE LOUNGE FILTHLESQUE! $12–100, 21+ 8:30 P.M. Vera Mysteria hosts this burlesque and drag tribute to the filmography of John Waters, with performances from Hai Fleisch, Johnny Nuriel, Baby Le’Strange, Wanda Bones, Carla Rossi, Isaiah Esquire and Diamondback Annie (L.A.). PARTY 9 P.M. VAMPIRE MASQUERADE MELODY BALLROOM BALL $45–50, 21+ Two-story goth prom celebrates its 15th year. NIGHTLIFE 10 P.M. JUMP JACK SOUND MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS MACHINE $8, 21+ This edition of N Mississippi’s coolest dance party features a mini drag ball with a $100 cash prize. Music by DJs Chanti Darling and Princess Dimebag, hosted by Shitney Houston, judged by Shitney Houston, Daniel Ada, Brandon Harrison and Daphne Fauna. FUNDRAISER PICA AT HANCOCK HOT HOUSE $35, 21+ 10:30 P.M. Afterparty for the PICA fundraiser. Garden party/greenhouse attire encouraged.
SUNDAY, MAY 14
HOLIDAY EVERYWHERE MOTHER’S DAY FREE, ALL AGES ALL DAY CALL YOUR MOM(S). And not just because you need more dining dollars. THEATRE THE ARMORY CONSTELLATIONS $25–45, 12+ 2 P.M., 7:30 P.M. Silas Weir Mitchell (NBC’s Grimm) stars in a romantic play about love in infinite universes. SYMPHONY ARLENE SCHNITZER PERSÉPHONE CONCERT HALL 7:30 P.M. (PLAYING MAY $23–100, ALL AGES 13–15) Michael Curry (Walt Disney Company, Cirque du Soleil, the Olympics) contributes his signature stage design touch to the Oregon Symphony’s performance of Stravinsky’s classic on the Greek myth about the origin of the seasons. Student Rush and Arts for All tickets may be available at the door. DRAG 8 P.M. SUPERSTARS DIVA CC SLAUGHTERS SHOWCASE FREE, 21+ Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Isaiah Esquire and special guests host a weekly, traditional drag revue at one of Portland’s landmark gay bars that is also conveniently outside the legal border of Old Town’s “Entertainment” District.
MONDAY, MAY 15 ART BAZAAR 6 P.M. EXHIBITION + FLEA THE KNOW MARKET FREE, ALL AGES Opening reception for new murals by Jazmyne Johnston and Jennifer Parks. Art market for other artists too + music from DJs Mare McCheese & Skelly Skell. MUSIC WINNINGSTAD EMEL MATHLOUTHI THEATRE 7:30 P.M. $21–31 The Tunisian singer/songwriter tours her latest release, Ensen. Pacific Northwest vocalist and composer Briana Marela opens.
Andrew D. Jankowski
ON CAMPUS FEATURED EVENT
FESTIVAL 4:30 P.M. 15TH ANNUAL PACIFIC SMSU BALLROOM ISLANDERS CLUB LUAU $10–13 (FREE W/PSU SATURDAY, MAY 13 ID), ALL AGES Pacific Islander cultural showcase and dinner with live performances, cultural activities & vendors, photo booth and more.
TUESDAY, MAY 9 FITNESS ACADEMIC STUDENT WOMEN-ONLY AND RECREATION CLIMBING NIGHT CENTER 4 P.M. FREE, ALL AGES Supportive climbing environment for selfidentifying women of all skill levels. GAME NIGHT 5 P.M. TRANS + GENDER NON- QUEER RESOURCE CONFORMING STUDENT CENTER NIGHT FREE, ALL AGES Play Wii U and board games and eat snacks with students during PSU’s spring term queer pride programming. Tonight centers on transgender and gender nonconforming students. POOL PARTY REC CENTER SOUND WAVES FREE, ALL AGES 7 P.M. Drag queen emcee Poison Waters hosts the LGBTQ Pride edition of this combination laser show/aqua dance party. Fun fact: you can bring up to three non-PSU students for free!
WEDNESDAY, MAY 10 FAIR NOON NOURISH WELLNESS REC CENTER FAIR FREE, ALL AGES Learn about off/on-campus wellness resources. Free on-site acupuncture, massage, snacks and other activities available. ART TALK AUTZEN GALLERY MELANIE FLOOD FREE, ALL AGES 4 P.M. The MFA candidate gives a gallery talk during her new exhibition, Passionfruit. ART RECEPTION MK GALLERY ROZ CREWS FREE, ALL AGES 6:30 P.M. This exhibition, Can Art Inspire Me to Think Critically About . . ?, incorporates a PSU FRINQ course and readings from a collection of essays from Distinguished Socially-Engaged Art(ist) Educators of the Region (DSEAER) Award winners.
THURSDAY, MAY 11
KEYNOTE 6:30 P.M. FEMINIST QUEER CRIP: SMSU BALLROOM IMAGINING ACCESSIBLE FREE, ALL AGES FUTURES Author Alison Kafer speaks during the 5th Annual Walk of the Heroines lecture on “challenging the (dis)ability system and compulsory heterosexuality” and the intersections of disability, trans and feminist activism.
MONDAY, MAY 15
SEMINAR 3:15 P.M. CAPTURING SOLAR SCIENCE BUILDING 1, CELL NANO-PHYSICS #107 IN THE TWINKLING OF FREE, ALL AGES AN EYE Dr. Matt Graham of Oregon State University’s Micro-Femto Energetics Lab talks about harvesting photo-excited electrons in emerging nanomaterials.
MUSIC LINCOLN MILES FORTE SENIOR PERFORMANCE HALL RECITAL (LH75) NOON FREE, ALL AGES Portland State jazz vocalist Forte presents his senior recital as part of the School of Music’s Noon Concert Series, accompanied by PSU students and faculty.
FRIDAY, MAY 12 FITNESS URBAN PLAZA PRIDE KICKBALL PARTY FREE, ALL AGES NOON Play or watch a game of kickball. Pride attire encouraged. Free food! PARTY PARKWAY NORTH PDX RED PARTY FREE, ALL AGES 4 P.M. Fair, food and dance party recognizing Menstrual Hygiene Day from Periodic and the Portland Menstrual Society. RECEPTION WIEDEN + KENNEDY BE HONEST FREE, ALL AGES 5 P.M. Not technically on campus, but a crucial PSU event: showcase reception for graphic design students’ portfolios. Celebrate their hard work and learn about new graphic artists.
SATURDAY, MAY 13 MUSIC LINCOLN PAAVALI JUMPPANEN PERFORMANCE HALL 4 P.M. (ALSO PLAYING $45–55, ALL AGES MAY 14) The Finnish pianist performs as part of Portland Piano International, playing Debussy preludes and Beethoven sonatas. Student Rush and Arts for All tickets may be available at the door.
AARON UGHOC
SUNDAY, MAY 14 FILM DATES/TIMES) HAIL THE NEW PURITAN 5TH AVENUE CINEMA (1987) $4–5 (FREE W/PSU ID), 3 P.M. (MULTIPLE SHOW ALL AGES Part documentary, Charles Atlas’ post-punk ballet fantasy focuses on Scottish dancer Michael Clark’s “flamboyantly postured eroticism and the artifice of his provocative balletic performances.”
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The PSU transfer student leasing priority period ends June 15th.
WALK OR BIKE TO CLASS P R I V AT E B E D R O O M S & B AT H R O O M S A V A I L A B L E F U L LY F U R N I S H E D A PA R T M E N T S A M E N I T I E S F O R A F I T & H E A LT H Y L I F E S T Y L E INDIVIDUAL LIABILITY LEASES R O O M M AT E M AT C H I N G A V A I L A B L E
Apply online today at
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