Alone Together: Spring 2020 by DAMchic Magazine

ALONE TOGETHER

SPRING 2020

ALONE TOGETHER LETTER FROM THE EDITOR “Are you sad to be ending it all like this?” crackled through my headphones during my twelfth Zoom call of that day. Three weeks ago, Aaron Sanchez, a freshman photographer asked me this. My first reaction to this question was to throw my computer across the room while screaming that, YES!!! I was absolutely heartbroken to be ending these four incredible years of college and my time as editor on a somber note due to a global pandemic. Like many people around the world, I was incredibly sad, frustrated, angry, and felt tricked by the universe’s cruel turn of events. In an effort to remain transparent, I almost expressed this devastation to Aaron, but I didn’t. I stopped because at that moment I heard something else. When Aaron asked me that question I heard it as, will you stop grappling and accept defeat? As I looked at his pixelated expression splayed across the screen, I didn’t feel the sadness or defeat that he just described. I saw myself, four years ago when I wanted someone to tell me that I could do it, that the hard work would be worth it, and to never give up. In some backward twisted way, that’s what this has taught me, to be resilient when things go wrong, nights are long, and obstacles continue to pile up forming one giant junkyard in your brain. We’ve once again been challenged to think creatively, to search for truth, to trust the process, to be resourceful, and to keep going. So that’s what I told him, that it’s because of these four brilliant years at school that I cannot be sad for absent moments and I see millions of diplomas passing through post-offices all over the world proving our resilience in times of uncertainty. Whether you’re getting a diploma or a copy of our first virtual issue, we wish you well on whatever comes next. Alone Together has brought us from light to dark, from alone to together. By being stripped down to around thirty creative minds and the power of video chat, we’ve turned inward, examining our own identities and turned outward to give the community a platform to tell their stories. The longest issue in DAMchic history is filled with brilliant stories about identity, community, family, art, life, death, and resilience. Thank you for sticking with DAMchic through it all and we are so proud to share this moment in time with you.

OLIVIA HARBAND E DIT O R - IN - CHIEF 2

Olivia Harband

Photographer: Stefany Harband

THE TEAM

From top left to bottom right: Cameron Black, Olivia Harband, Kelsey Bigelow, Cooper Baskins, Draken Reeves, Aaron Sanchez, Emma Johnston, Meaghan Evans, Jessica Thompson, Jo Carstensen, Ryan Nelson, Alex Reich, Chloe Kehn, Owen Preece, Hanna Helft, Logan Howell, Lanikai Yatomi, Vicki Liang, Claire Nelson, Jacob Lagmay, Orion Bibee, Jade Webster

E DITOR - I N- CH I EF OL IV I A HARB AND

A SSISTANT ED I TOR M EAGHAN EVANS

LE A D P H OTOG R APH ER L OGAN HOWELL

DE S I G N ED I TOR PA ULI NA V Y LE

MOD EL S

PAY TON SYMNER CL AYTON NELSON PRISCI LA ARECHI GA JAS MI NE ESTRADA K E ANNA RUB I O L IDI A AGUI LAR L A CEY JACKSON USACH NELSON L AURA REI CH S H ARON REI CH W H ITNEY BASKI NS L EE ANN P HI LLI P S

DAMCHIC TEAM O R IO N BIBE E LO GAN HO WE L L HANNA HE L FT CHL O E KE HN AL I FUE RT E VICKI LIANG CO O PE R BASKINS RYAN NE L SO N E MMA J O HNSTO N J E SSICA T HO MPSO N KE L SE Y BIGE LO W J O CAR ST E NSE N L ANIKAI YAT O MI NYJ AH GO BE RT AME E R FO FANAH O WE N PR E E CE R AMZY AL -MUL L A CL AIR E NE L SO N J ACO B L E DR AKE N R E E VE S J ADE WE BSTE R MO HAME D AL SAIF J ACO B L AGMAY J E F FR E Y WU J AYCE E KALAMA AAR O N SANCHE Z

COMMUNITY CONTRIBU T O R S BE LL A J O HNSO N YO UNG O UM MAR IA DUO NG J E SUS R E YE S ME AGHAN E VANS INE S MBO USYA L ILL IAN CAR MAN SYDNE Y DO L AN ISABE LL A MILL E R AR DE N T O BE Y MO HAME D AL SAIF J E SUS R E YE S MAR IA DUO NG DE STINE E DAVIS ANNA R O TH CAMILL A NAPPA DANA BE AN MADISO N J O KI ISABE L L A J O HNSO N MADDIE L ADUE CAT HRYN L IZO T TE GINNY GO NZALE S L ILLY KUR O PAT MIT HR IL AJ O O TIAN BR E NNA F O X WINNIE WO O KHE IL AN KUSSAL ANAN T

TABLE OF CONTENTS 06 THE ART OF PERSEVERANCE

ALL DRESSED UP AND NOWHERE TO GO

A DAY IN THE LIFE

STIR CRAZY STAYCATION CULTURA CUARENTENA

PINK LADY

REFLECTIONS SNAPSHOTS QUARENTUNES

30 32 33

KEEP CONTACT

GRAVEYARD GARDENING

A CROWDED ROOM

MEDUSA SAVE ME FROM THE DARK IDOL WORSHIP 4

19 20

46 50

COMMUNITY IN QUARANTINE 54-85

Created by: Lilly Kuropat

Director, Writer, and Model: Vicki Liang Photographer: Jacob Lagmay Silk handpainted by Artist: Kailea Warouw

Definition: 1. dubious; indecent 2. nondescript; neither fish, flesh, nor fowl. 3. neither one nor the other; non-identifiable.

Identity is said to be a culmination of one’s being, a smorgasbord of entities that define a person - aspects such as age, gender, race, ethnicity and culture. To have an identity is one thing, to know and willingly accept your identity is another matter. Growing up, I was always very wary of being Asian American. My Chinese heritage seemingly clashed with my American childhood, and I remember being almost embarrassed of this culture that was laid upon me. As early as I can recall, I had always ignored the clothing of Chinese culture. Though fashion had been a longtime interest of mine, I deliberately dismissed those garments that bore mandarin collars and fabrics brocaded with traditional symbols, all which were too reminiscent of the stereotypes that came with being Chinese. It wasn’t until recently, when I discovered my mother’s cheongsam, that I began to acknowledge this part of my culture. The cheongsam, also known as a qipao (respectively Cantonese and Mandarin), is a long dress that is often depicted with Chinese women. Its sheath-like form bears slits on the sides, an asymmetrical opening that is fastened by frog closures, topped with a stiff, mandarin collar which reaches high over the neck. Although associated with Chinese culture, its origins actually come from the Manchus, a smaller ethnic group that ruled during the Qing dynasty. The first cheongsams were worn by female students in 1912, when they modified the men’s Manchurian long robe in an effort for gender equality. It was in the late 1920s however, that the cheongsam finally gained popularity in Shanghai,

and eventually spread to Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Singapore. Chinese women began to style the gowns with Western influences such as high heel pumps, stockings, and marcelled waves in their hair. By the 1960s, the slits of cheongsams had risen and the style became more formfitting. Nowadays, the cheongsam is regarded as an elegant formal dress by the older Chinese generation, and a fashion statement by their younger counterparts. Despite its cultural significance in both historical and modern contexts, it had taken me years to approach traditional Chinese clothing in either of the aforementioned perspectives. My main resistance had stemmed from the garments produced by Western designers and media, as well as the horrifying yet laughable Halloween costumes that perpetuated the stereotypes that I feared would be pinned on me. My identity would somehow be compromised, if I did not distance myself enough, if I did not ‘Americanize’ myself adequately. 7

Another blow to the construction of this identity came with the COVID-19 pandemic. As the number of cases increased, so did the amount of hate crimes against Asian Americans which are fuelled by racism, xenophobia, and prejudice. A website created for Asian Americans to report such incidents recorded over 100 reports that are being submitted daily, with 60 percent of the cases coming from outside of California, where the efforts of the site were based. As I gaze upon my mother’s cheongsam, with its elaborate embroidery and, deep red color, I realize its existence, in a particular vein, is like mine. It is “ ”, bu san bu si. The literal translation of the Chinese idiom is ‘not three, nor four’, with its metaphorical meaning used to describe someone who is questionable, not entirely one thing nor another. I am not completely Chinese or American in the typical sense, nor do I hold a neat position in the middle. Like the dress, coming from and being influenced by many different cultural factors, I am not a product of a singular place, but a culmination of various entities. The course of current events is only a part that makes up a complicated subject. If I were younger, I would’ve had the benefit of obliviousness, yet still would’ve been doubtful of myself. However, as I continue to navigate the cultures of both my Chinese and American self, I know that my identity cannot be erased so easily, even with the present uncertainty of the world. In light of everything that is happening, I choose to fully embrace this bu san bu si identity 8that I know will never be simple, neither one nor the other.

Director, Writer, and Graphic Illustrator: Orion Bibee

by Orion Bibee

Towards the end of World War II, Poland came under the rule of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union and was rebranded as The Polish People’s Republic. Up until the late ’40s, poster design had already been an established medium for Polish artists; but it wasn’t until this change in government that Polish designers began to use posters as a form of communication and expression. Henryk Tomaszewski, deemed “the father” of the Polish School of Posters, began working closely with the National Film Institute in Warsaw, designing foreign film posters to make them more accessible for Polishspeaking people. What started as a smaller collaboration blossomed into a movement that had widespread influence on not only poster design, but on the art world as a whole.

(left) Posters in frames are reference images of historical

One of the most impressive aspects of the Polish Posters served as an underlying rally cry and gave hope to an oppressed public. The designers often used symbolism and subtle metaphors in their work to reflect the state of Communism in which they were living. While many of these designers came from graphic design backgrounds, artists of all mediums were able to contribute their own aesthetics to the movement. The use of bright colors, combinations of collage and paint strokes, created the often allegorical imagery that brought life to the streets of Poland. This made the posters hanging on the streets all the more inspiring and meaningful to the Polish people.

Polish posters gathered from the National Museum in Warsaw

by Orion Bibee

Earlier this term, I had the opportunity to interview the professor who brought this art form and its history to the students at Oregon State University. Andrea Marks, professor of design and program director of the Design and Innovation Management major at OSU, described how the art world tends to react to hard times; as well as how the COVID-19 pandemic has inspired creativity. For example, people are taking the time to learn new skills, to connect with each other while social distancing, or as she points out, “scientists across the globe [are] coming together so quickly, to try and make a vaccine--that’s creativity unto itself.” Not only is Marks something of an expert when it comes to Polish posters, but she has also been in the game long enough to expect great things after troubling times. American designers often worked directly for clients, and Marks notes that “sometimes your hands are tied to some degree as a designer, or illustrator when there’s profit on the line, in terms of how much freedom you can have with your idea, but there was no money on the line in Poland.” To circumvent the Soviet censorship board, the Polish designers used metaphors within their designs freely, and successfully. In the midst of extremely hard times, the expression of these ideas became an international movement that still remains influential to this day. As countries around the world fight this pandemic, people will continue to innovate, support each other, and create new and exciting things. The Polish Poster is an example of how this has been done in the past—how adversity can lead to amazing creativity. This DAMchic magazine issue you are currently holding in your hands is an example of how this is being done during the pandemic, and YOU are the key to continuing this pattern of perseverance and creativity. Whether it’s through personal growth, complimenting someone, or going as far as creating a new innovation or art movement, we all have a part to play.

by Orion Bibee

all dressed up Director, Photographer, Writer and Model: Chloe Kehn

& nowhere to go How dressing up for yourself can empower and inspire This shoot is inspired by the desire to maintain a sense of normalcy during uncertain times. We arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t able to do much, but if anything we are still able to get dressed each day. I think that now more than ever, fashion has the ability to affect our daily mentality. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not getting dressed to impress anyone; I can dress up simply to make myself feel good. Shooting a self-portraiture project for my final DAMchic spread is something that I never would have anticipated, but I found that it was a special process for me. This magazine and all of the people involved have blessed me so much throughout my college experience. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sad to say goodbye, but excited to see what the team continues to create.

DAY

THE

LIFE

When everything is uncertain, everything that is important becomes clear Director, Writer, Photographer, and Model: Cooper Baskins Models: Whitney Baskins and Lee Ann Phillips

Every day falls into itself, in the same rinse, wash, repeat pattern. It all has become a blur and I find myself unaware of what used to be â&#x20AC;&#x153;normalâ&#x20AC;?. My mom sits at the center of this mess as our family's lighthouse in the storm. She acts as a guiding force reminding us of the positives of being together while validating our down days. Her love language has been sanitation. She makes sure anything that has been in contact with the outside world has been properly cleaned. Although she enjoys doing it she also allows us to clean for ourselves and learn so that we can help carry the load. My step-mom on the right of the dinner table is the chef of the house. Her love language is cooking. She does her best to make sure everyone has had enough to eat and adds her own little something to each meal even when we get take-out. I do my best to help with cooking and cleaning around the house and sanitizing groceries when they come in, but my love language is photography. I was inspired to create this family portrait by photographers like A. Y. Owen and his photographs of Midwestern families in the US farmbelt in 1958 (A.Y. Owen, 1958). Photographs like this capture the essence of family in historical points in time. By capturing what my family is like in these times, these photos serve as a reminder for people to appreciate their own families and to not take this time together for granted. 18

Sew a shirt, paint a scene, throw a ball Go outside, learn ballet, take a jog Wash the floor, play croquette, bake a cake Take a hike, sketch a bird, learn to skate Learn to sing, climb a tree, workout Take a swim, play a game, learn to knit Write a book, shoot a hoop, get a dog Mow the lawn, make some art, play golf Learn to knit, weed the yard, make an app Check the mail, journal, write a play Send some mail, plant a tree, take a walk Win at chess, paint your walls, call a friend Wash the car, sell your clothes, get a tan Clean the sink, barbecue, take a bath Fix the pipes, catch a fish, clean your room Prune a bush, ride a bike, take a class

Stir Crazy

Play guitar, learn to sew, read a book

Stir Crazy

At first, I thought it’d be fine.

It’s nice to have some downtime I should love all this spare time I’ll finish all those projects I started I should be doing more Everyone else is being productive What day is it today Just one more episode When did I last eat Shit, that was due yesterday Just one more episode I miss my friends It’s already 4 am I should be doing more I like my bed, it’s comfy I’ll put it on my schedule It was nice to catch up Today was okay

Director, Photographer, and Model: Cooper Baskins Writer: Jo Carstensen

STAYCATION STAYCATION STAYCATION

Director, Writer, Photographer and Model: Kelsey Bigelow

In these odd circumstances we sacrifice what once was accessible and often taken for granted. We no longer can go to parties, clubs, pools, parks, work, school, anything where gathering is involved. When people remain in their homes, they get comfortable and their â&#x20AC;&#x153;going out clothesâ&#x20AC;? stay in their closet. We become content, and adapt to the situation, forgetting about the pride we once took in our appearance. In my work, I wanted to recreate social events that we are missing out on and bring them to life into my home to symbolize holding onto our sanity and the power in a good outfit.

Priscila Arechiga

Director, Writer, and Photographer: Aaron Sanchez Models: Priscila Arechiga, Jasmine Estrada, Keanna Rubio, Lidia Aguilar

How for one DAMchic team member, time spent at home served as a reminder of the beauty and power in the LatinX identity

This set of photos is expresses maintaining culture during the quarantine. Cultura Cuarentena is meant to communicate the importance of embracing your culture. In a time of isolation, I found myself looking at my motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s old family pictures and picking up on old Hispanic fashion trends and mixing them with modern-day fashion. Alongside fashion, I incorporated religious symbols, such as The Virgen de Guadalupe, who is a Catholic title of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Growing up La Virgen was a symbol of hope and comfort for my community, her form decorates candles and necklaces and is present at every event from a wedding to a funeral. La Virgen was something that was always around in my household and being back at home reminds me of my own identity and the importance of the Latinx community. Religion is something carried in my familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s roots for hundreds of years as it has given us strength and hope. While in quarantine I can take the time to remember who I am and how beautiful my background is.

Priscila Arechiga

Jasmine Estrada

Keanna Rubio

Penelope Estrada

Priscila Arechiga and Keanna Rubio

Priscila Arechiga

Jasmine Estrada

Priscila Arechiga

Pink Lady Director, Writer, and Photographer: Cameron Black Models: Payton Smyer, Handsome (the dog) Clothing: Suite Zero

REFLECTIONS How reflecting while in isolation can lead to self-growth and renewd sense of creativity

Director and Photographer: Claire Nelson Model: Clayton Nelson

Snapshots

How DAMchic team members are social distancing in style Director, Writer, and Graphic Illustrator: Lanikai Yatomi Models: Kelsey Bigelow, Jo Carstensen, and Meaghan Evans

Jo Ca rsten s

igelow

Kelsey B

Inspired by a Parsons School of Design project called “Atlas of Everyday Objects — “In the Age of Global Social Isolation,” directed by Pascal Glissman and Selena Kimball, where people across the globe document everyday objects by photographing them. They arrange them on a grid and then post the arrangement on Instagram, to demonstrate how their relationship with those objects has changed during quarantine. In the article Will Covid-19 Change Fashion Photography? By Daphne Milner, Milner writes, “The crisis might accelerate the process by which fashion’s visual language will engage with more than just its own beauty.” Now, everyone’s homes and pajamas have taken on a different meaning—our homes serving both our prisons and our refuges. 32

Meaghan E va

Images by Brian Riche, Soundwave Magazine

Quarentunes A recreation to pay tribute to two standout albums that will add to any quarantine playlist and inspire self-growth and reflection Director , Writer, and Photographer: Ali Fuerte Models: Lacey Jackson, Usach Nelson 33

Summer Walker

an Atlanta, Georgia native released her debut album, Over it, on October 4, 2019. She takes inspiration from 90’s R&B, sampling Destiny’s Child, 702, Lenny Williams and featuring Usher, all while providing an undeniably fresh and unique flow to the modern day R&B industry. Her album chronicles the rollercoaster of emotions she endures throughout her relationship which include anger, frustration, love and eventually acceptance. When listening to the

Models: Usach Nelson 34

album, the songstress illustrates the importance of letting herself become vulnerable in relationships, even though they may not always work out. Her deep rooted frustration in the inability to progress in her journey is relatable to listeners, as she recounts a story of her last relationship and the process of realizing the depth of her own self-worth. On the second to last track, “Playing Games” she describes the inconsistencies in how she

was being treated and how she is “Over it,” Walker ends the album with an anthem of reclamation of female love and power in the song “Girls Need Love Too.”

Mac Miller’s posthumous album Circles, was released January

17, 2020 over a year since his death. Jon Brion, who worked closely with Miller in the early stages of his career before his tragic overdose, produced the album which acts as a companion piece to Miller’s previous album, Swimming. The lyrics in Swimming indicate his hopefulness and readiness to take on the world. Miller’s family notes that “Swimming in Circles was the original concept” that he had in mind. Circles bears hiphop, funk and melodic tones, while depicting Miller’s journey of self improvement and growth after a lifelong battle with drug abuse. Regret is a major theme found throughout the album as he attempts to distinguish his current self from his old mentality in order to not fall into another destructive cycle. Swimming in circles, refers to daily setbacks that are a part of a necessary cycle that inspires growth. Miller recognizes both his highs and his lows in order to create an authentic narrative for his listeners.

Models: Lacey Jackson 35

Director and Photographer: Alex Reich Poetry by: Megan Reich Models: Laura Reich, Sharon Reich

to the place where you yearn it what I sensed you said out loud and through the walls I could hear it you are not alone you are not alone you are not alone

keep contact keep contact keep contact keep contact

reach in to what draws you

keep contact

reach out to what pulls us towards the place where it hurts what you feel I take inside from the miles between us like a thread of invisible contact from heart to heart

Graveyard Gardening

Director , Writer, Photographer, and Model: Jessica Thompson

How to Push Up Sunflowers in a Marble Orchard Graveyard Gardening Let By Jessica Thompson

it grow Lift yourself Feel yourself becoming the ethereal Embrace the world around you Explore the world within Remember mortality Our time Here Together Is Temporary Your days are numbered You will die Memento Mori

Memento Mori Latin for ‘remember that you must die’ these concepts are practiced in several other religious traditions. In Islam, this is referred to as “Tazkiya” and in Tibetan Buddhism, “Bardo.” Remember your mortality because the day you die nothing of this world matters. No, not the calendar, no not your appointments or shopping sprees or coffee dates. The day you die all of the nagging regrets, sterling reputations, and material objects will all be resigned to the past. Your loved ones will grieve and your parting soul will leave a void. Reminding others to never squander a priceless moment. “Don’t let your life be stolen every day, by all that you’ve been led to believe matters because, on the day you die, the fact is that much of it simply won’t. Yes, you and I will die one day. But before that day comes: let us live.” Quoted from John Pavlovitz, social writer for the Huffington Post in their piece, “What Will Happen On the Day I Die.” This piece serves to raise visible fractures of exploring the art of dying. A symbol of our collapsing systems. In our time, the “inconvenient truths” are pandemics, mass extinctions, crop failures, climate chaos, and collapsing stock markets. Our current moral theories are devised to fit a separatist view of the world that is not serving us all holistically, and we are beginning to understand. We must realize that we suffer because we see ourselves as permanent and separated. Compassion flowers from the realization that we are not separate and have no fixed identity. When we let ourselves, love, we no longer resist the suffering of others. Julie Beck writer for The Atlantic, published in her article, “What Good Is Thinking About Death?” that during laboratory studies before and after 9/11, “when death was likely to top of mind for many Americans for quite a while... surveys found increases in kindness, love, hope, spirituality, gratitude, leadership, and teamwork, which persisted 10 months after the attacks.” 39

When faced with an idea as confounding as one’s own mortality, people turn to the other things in their lives that still make sense to them. While yes, this means defending your worldview and having derogative feelings towards the “others.” It elicits an almost primitive instinctual response, the vagus nerve, which directly responds to images of suffering from compassion. The narrator of the video, “Don’t misread Darwin,” Dacher Keltner, professor of cognitive science at the University of California, Berkeley, explains that humans have instinctualized their survival in empathy. The mechanic science worldview claims that Darwin’s theory proves man must be notorious and ruthless to progress individual survival. But, if one goes deeper into Darwin’s studies we understand that ‘survival of the fittest’ does not apply to the human race. Wired by mirror neurons our cognitive achievements have relied on, sympathy, our strongest instinct. Because out of vulnerability rises cooperative caregiving. Dr. Steven Greer, an emergency room trauma doctor and Sanskrit teacher, once quoted, “If you have died and know that there is no death, then you have no fear of it and until you have no fear of it you really cannot live.” We are but one drop in the boundless ocean of consciousness once you realize this, there is nothing to be afraid of. 40

Death is not this shackled existence a fear of eternal bleakness, I offer you another paradigm, accepting death as a quest for another meaningful life. As Michel de Montaigne, 16th-century French Renaissance philosopher once put it, “the study and contemplation of death, in some sense, withdraws us from our souls, and employs the soul separately from the body.” Consider this quote by Alan Watts, an English writer, and philosopher: “Try to imagine what it will be like to go to sleep and never wake up... now try to imagine what it was like to wake up having never gone to sleep.” Well in one scenario you would be floating around the ethereal 4D astral plane waiting for something in the cosmic soup to swoop you back up and in the other, you are being born again. Death is the most natural process of life. By meditating with images of death it reminds you what it means to be part of this human experience. In these turbulent times, we mustn’t forget about the power of art and heart. Turns toward the pleasure of song and service.

“Help me to know the shortness of life, that I may gain wisdom of heart” - Roshi Joan Halifax

A Crowded Crowded Room Livestreams bring concerts to peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s homes and create a shared musical experience virtually Director, Writer, and Photographer: Logan Howell Artists featured: BROOK and JVCKFROST

Don’t tell anyone, but we had 670 people come through our basement last weekend. They weren’t physically in the house of course, but they tuned in to hear several live-streamed DJ-sets. Lazers and moving lights danced through the smoky room to heavy kicks and crisp hi-hats. Besides the barren dancefloor, the club scene was alive with energy. The live stream was run by Joseph Brooks aka “BROOX”, a Portland DJ and owner of the production company Wildlife Entertainment, and my roommate. Friends and followers of BROOX and his company tuned in on several social media platforms to watch him, myself, and a few other local DJs mix a medley of our favorite tunes. A live stream is no substitute for a concert or a party but Brooks has good reason to put them out there. “We’re doing live streams at the moment because we need to stay active in the community! With everyone stuck at home and in quarantine, going out to events just isn’t possible, so we must bring the events to them! Right now we feel it’s more important than ever to spread joy, love, and unity through music to keep everyone smiling in this somewhat dark time.” said Brooks. Wildlife is not the only one performing from one living room to another. Livestreams have grown immensely popular during the mandatory quarantine and the cancellation of all major festivals around the globe. Insomniac, the company responsible for some of the world’s biggest festivals like Electric Daisy Carnival (EDC) in Las Vegas, Beyond Wonderland, and Electric Forest, have been livestreaming DJ performances for free on YouTube. These performances have world-class musicians playing short live sets from their living rooms or kitchens, or from a makeshift club in the Insomniac office. The Virtual Rave-A-Thon events Beyond Wonderland and Countdown accumulated 13 million views across over 100 countries in April 2020, according to Youtube. Despite the isolation en-masse, it is still possible to curate that sense of joy from the communion of shared musical experience. These adaptations to world events will certainly change the future of the industry, and it is exciting to be a part of that. How people choose to spend their time when there’s little to do shows what the world thinks is important, and it’s clear that music isn’t going anywhere.

Save Me From The Dark 46

Director, Photographer, and Model: Jade Webster Writer: Jo Carstensen

How just a taste of isolation can serve as a reminder of a much bigger injustice “We don’t give feel-good drugs here,” Rodney Jones, who suffers from bipolar disorder, was told by the staff psychiatrist when his prescription was abruptly canceled. An inmate at America’s highest-security federal isolation prison in the country, Jone’s was kept in solitary confinement roughly 23 hours of each day - many of them spent without his medication. Having shown previous signs of mental illness since childhood, when at the age of twelve he drank an entire bottle of Clorox, Jones had been a patient at St. Elizabeth’s Federal Psychiatric Hospital before being sent to the Administrative Maximum Facility also known as, ADX. At the solitary confinement facility, Jones lived in a cell with four-inch thick concrete walls, a concrete brick bed, and toilet-sink. The entire unit was no bigger than the back of a pickup truck and he remained there for 5 years. Solitary confinement regulations have some variation state to state but many super-max prisoners like Jones experience the same treatment; 22 to 24 hours a day behind a steel door, infrequent phone calls, rare visits, extremely limited access to rehabilitative or educational programs, restricted personal property, permanent bright lighting, extreme temperatures, and inevitable insomnia.

Testimonies like those of Jones’, where poor living conditions, denial of treatments, and suicide attempts are discussed, serve as substantial evidence for lawsuits that are more common than you’d think. Despite the legal action that has brought many of the physical dangers of solitary confinement into the public eye, the real danger of isolation isn’t always physical. According to the 2014 Amnesty International report, there are roughly 80,000 U.S. prisoners in solitary confinement. To put that in perspective, America has about as many prisoners in solitary as the United Kingdom has in its entire prison population. Deprived of normal human interaction, these individuals can start to lose their grasp on reality due to their circumstances. Many prisoners have reported experiencing a range of psychological symptoms while in isolation. The most common including anxiety attacks, depression, self-harm, hallucinations, and suicidal ideations. According to a study done by the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene found that one of the most important and independent predictors of self-harm while in jail is solitary confinement. They also confirmed the overwhelming amount of data that shows the highest rates of suicide and self-harm occur in solitary confinement units. 47

Research has shown that when humans are isolated from social interaction, the lack of communication can actually decrease the size of the hippocampus, the area of the brain that controls memory and learning. Also, due to the continuous stress it endures, the hippocampus loses its plasticity, which is what allows the brain to develop new neurons when we learn. Isolation has the opposite effect on the amygdala, the part of the brain that regulates emotions like fear, sadness, and anxiety as well as controls aggression. The amygdala which neighbors the hippocampus increases in activity while processing emotions that come with isolation. In isolation, the brain physically changes in form and capability. When Robert King, who was in solitary confinement for 29 years, was released from his cell, he could immediately tell something was different. His brain had forgotten how to recognize faces and had to retrain his eyes to learn what a face was like. He also had little to no sense of direction and was unable to follow a simple route to the city. King’s brain had been so out of practice utilizing these skills that it lost many capabilities that weren’t necessary for survival in a concrete cell.

King isn’t the only one to have experienced these changes. After spending years not looking at anything farther than 10 feet away, many prisoners report that their eyesight has deteriorated and they can’t focus on faraway objects anymore. Many when testifying will quickly lose their voice because their vocal cords are so out of practice.

On top of these changes in the brain and body, solitary confinement attacks something even deeper. Psychologist Dr. Craig Haney, professor at the University of California, explained how devastating and longlasting the effects of isolation are on our sense of reality. “Over time, something less obvious but more insidious happens,” Dr. Haney explained, “solitary confinement requires people to learn to live in a world without people. It’s the denial of meaningful social engagement with others. To tolerate that, you begin to structure your world, your psyche around not having the presence of other people in your life,” Dr. Haney said. After this happens and the prisoners’ social skills begin deteriorating, the presence of other people begins to make them uncomfortable and in some cases causes fear. A clear sign of this is if prisoners tell their family not to visit, instead preferring to sit blankly in their cells.

Director, Photographer, Writer and Model: Draken Reeves Graphic Illustrator: Lanikai Yatomi 50

Although Satoshi Kon’s 1997 animated film Perfect Blue came out just over 20 years ago, its subject matter of mental health in the idol industry rings louder than ever. The film follows a former idol who is trying to transition to a career in acting, her encounter with her stalker, and her descent into mental health issues. In an age where anyone on the internet can become a celebrity, privacy is a thing of the past, and stalking is done with ease. Looking up to celebrities on social media, we often fail to notice how we feel so much closer and attached to strangers. This phenomenon is known as parasocial interaction relationships.

Parasocial interaction relationship theory was first coined in 1956 in an article by Horton and Wohl, where it is defined as the apparent face-to-face interaction between a media character and it’s the audience. In a contemporary setting, we most often see parasocial interaction in the form of celebrity worship, with the definition of a celebrity being stretched far. Celebrities can often include beauty gurus, YouTubers, models, internet personalities, singers, actors, or even popular social media accounts, all flooded with hundreds of messages of adoration. Celebrity worship often starts as innocent and harmless as ever, with the discovery of a new idol. Maybe you found them on your explore page, in a suggested YouTube video, from a friend, etcetera. Regardless, people exposed to media characters at a younger age often develop an obsession with them. Ambar Sulianti of UIN Bandung’s Department of Psychology describes the actions taken by youth’s celebrity worship often comes in the form of devotion, replication of

style or speech, and search for identity. So why do we develop such strong feelings for these strangers? Often the answer lies in our own mental health and image. Much like the feelings in adolescence, loneliness, and identity struggles drive our reliance on media. More often than not, the idols we look up to have something we lack; whether it be confidence, talent, wealth, or power, we strive for their place. As such, we hold these celebrities to standards higher than our own, leading to ignorance about both parties’ health and safety. A prime example of unhealthy parasocial relationships comes in the Fourth Hallyu Wave, or “Social Media Korean Pop Wave”. With the rise in popularity of groups like South Korean bands like BTS, Blackpink, or TWICE, fans from all over the world create a hivemind of praise and adoration towards idols. However, the idols are merely corporate puppets. Individualism is a façade, as idols follow strict rules on how they dress, talk, act, and what they eat. The pressure to sing, dance, and smile for the amusement of the audience make the industry a pressure cooker for idol’s mental health. Idol worship, to its core, is a dangerous game we all get caught in. In the 21st century, there is a fervent call for lines of privacy, space, and empathy for those we look up to and ourselves.