David Atlanta Issue 20

10.24.12 #20

Gayest Halloween Costumes of 2012

Seen @ >

PRIDE ‘12 SCREEN QUEEN: HALLOWEEN EDITION

m o r f e t o r o N t i A the Ed 10.24.12 Issue #20

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Is Television Evil?

I

can admit it; I’m a TV junkie. I watch all the Real Housewives series, never miss an episode of my favorite shows (which are far too many to count), and while television adds no real substance to our lives, where is the line that we cross where TV stops being playful or neutral and starts becoming harmful to us?

Jersey Shore could be summed up as harmful. Drinking, promiscuous sex, bar fights… sure, it doesn’t send a good message to anybody, but there is much worse out there. In my opinion, television becomes evil when you start watching pundits on TV. Sean Hannity, Nancy Grace, Bill O’Reilly… these are the people who hurt our society as a whole.

Snooki showing her snatch all around the Jersey Shore is disgusting, don’t get me wrong, but at least she isn’t spewing political garbage from that snatch. If these pundits were to disappear from TV, and were replaced by … oh, I don’t know, journalists perhaps, we might actually be able to see people form more complete opinions rather then forming an opinion from some loud mouth on TV. What drives TV? Ratings. What makes a show succeed? Ratings. How does Nancy Grace make millions? Ratings. What do you need for ratings?

Drama. How does drama come about? Lies, deceit, and producers.

Television is a great escape for people at the end of the day. Enjoy your Honey Boo Boo and laugh along as she eats cheese balls, but next time you take advice or form an opinion because somebody on that big screen said something, smack yourself as hard as you can. You deserve it for being stupid enough to believe somebody who makes millions to put propaganda in your head.

On that note, who is ready for the election to be over?

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10.24.12 Issue #20

Cover > Gayest Halloween Costumes Screen Queen

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Feature > Hear Me Out Richard Blais Creep of the Week

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Seen @ > Blake’s 38 Burkhart’s 39 Felix’s 40 Joe’s on Juniper 41 Oscar’s 44 Piedmont Park 47

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The Rest > WTF!?!? Tidbits BarTab Protect Your Monster Fairyscopes Classifieds Bitch, Please!

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By Lucas Witherspoon

A

s usual, it’s been a big week for the Lohans, so let’s just go ahead and get it all out of the way:

Lindsay and her mother, Dina, partied until 4 AM at the Electric Room at the Dream Hotel in NYC. While en route to Dina’s house on Long Island (of course), the two started arguing about a $40,000 loan Lindsay had allegedly given to Dina to save Dina’s home from foreclosure (keep in mind she already gets a cut of Lindsay’s salary by default). Somewhere in the scuffle, Lindsay made the decision to call her father, Michael, who, naturally, recorded the entire conversation. During the call, Lindsay was audibly upset, and accused her mother of being on cocaine. Cut to the next day when Lindsay clarified to TMZ that everything between she and her mother was just peachy, and that, despite clearly saying her mother was coked up, denied that her mother has ever been or is presently on drugs, instead shifting blame to her father, who sold the tape to TMZ. I realize this is probably the Lohan version of mother-daughter bonding, but in all seriousness, someone get this girl away from her parents! The crackhouses of L.A. would be a healthier environment for her than either of her parents’ mansions (that she paid for) at this point.

Lindsay Lohan is voting for Romney because, why not? Actually, she said it’s because she “just [thinks] employment is really important right now.” If anyone is known for good decision-making (see above), it’s Lindsay Lohan. We may as well call the race now in Romney’s favor.

After months of dread, Hulk Hogan’s sex tape has finally hit the Internet. The tape, a clip of which was originally posted to Gawker, features Hulk having sex with Heather Clem, the then-wife of his best friend, Bubba the Love Sponge, with Bubba’s permission, of course. Only in Florida, folks. Now, Hulk is seeking the help of the FBI to find out who gave the tape to the media after local police 10 // davidatlanta.com

in Florida said their hands were tied because (1) the tape was filmed in 2006, so it’s now outside of the statute of limitations, and (2) because the distribution of the footage crosses state line, therefore making it a federal offense.

I’d generally say hunting down the person responsible for releasing the tape is a waste of federal money and only being done because Hulk is a public figure, but in this instance, that bastard should get life in prison for subjecting those of us who can’t control their morbid curiosity to a Hulk Hogan sex tape, because it’s an unfortunate mental image that will be burned into my mind for the rest of my life, which is its own life sentence. An eye for an eye.

Nelly’s tour bus was stopped in Texas, where cops found 36 baggies of heroin, a loaded .45 caliber pistol, and over 10 POUNDS of marijuana. First of all, haven’t we learned from Willie Nelson, Snoop Dogg, Fiona Apple, and Armand Hammer, who have all been stopped and found with drugs at the same checkpoint? Secondly, BRB, I’m going to party with Nelly.

When asked by MTV UK, Leona Lewis gave her thoughts on who should play Christian Grey in the film version of 50 Shades of Grey: “For Christian Grey it has to be someone really hot and super smooth. Why am I just thinking of Chris Brown? Maybe Chris Brown!” Chris Brown seems like a natural choice to play a man who gets a thrill out of slapping around women, only then they’d have to rename the film 50 Shades of Black & Blue.

@DavidAtlantaGA // 11

THE GAYEST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES OF 2012

By Mikey Rox As holidays go, Halloween is undoubtedly the gayest.

It’s the one time of year where homos can pretend they’re hetero, straight boys step out in short skirts, and grown-ass women turn every respectable profession they can think of into slutty versions of their former selves.

Andrew Christian Freshman Carwash Model There was no shortage of scantily clad Andrew Christian models strutting their stuff in the skivvy guru’s marketing videos this summer, but “Freshman Car Wash” – the soakingwet short film that started it all – went viral soon after its release, racking up nearly two million views. To pull off this uninhibited look, you’ll need a pair of Andrew Christian Air Sculpt briefs, a bucket and sponge, rippling muscles, and an ego bigger than Quinn Jaxon’s hocus-please-pocus.

Of course you can head to your local costume shop and pick up a played-out, plastic-wrapped outfit, but we know you better than True Blood’s Lafayette that. That’s why we’ve compiled this comprehensive list of the most The fictional, supernaturalsieged town of Bon Temps, topical, haute, and hilarious gayLa., wouldn’t be the same friendly Halloween costumes of without flamboyant medium 2012. From dude-lovin’ superheLafayette Reynolds slinging burgers served with a side roes to one of hip-hop’s groundof southern-style sass. breaking gaybies, this year’s hotWhen the ebony shorttest TV shows, news stories, and order cook isn’t doling out just desserts to ignorant pop-culture juggernauts are now townies or channeling the the must-wear, one-night disguisrecently deceased, he’s es of the season. contemplating his next faboosh ensemble, which is usuOh yes, the holiday spirit is here and it’s totally queer.

Happy Halloweenie!

14 // davidatlanta.com

ally comprised of a brightly colored headscarf, low-cut blouse, skin-tight jeans, thugalicious bling, greasy apron, and more eye makeup than Tammy Faye Baker. A couple vampire bite marks painted on your neck and the costume is instantly more authentic. As the oft-in-peril augur himself would say: Go ahead on witcha badass.

Virgin America Flight Attendant

The X-Men’s Northstar

Not all male flight attendants play on our team, of course, but the odds are in our favor that most of Virgin America’s well-traveled Y-chromed fleet are high-flying friends of Dorothy. Live TV at 35,000 feet, in-flight movies on demand, Wi-Fi, digital food and drinks menus, automated shopping, and cabins designed to resemble a swanky nightclub are clearly the work of a gay genius – and as the old adage goes, when you build it, they will come. To deck yourself out as one of Richard Branson’s polished skycaps you’ll need to hunt down the runway-worthy VA uniform consisting of a charcoal grey, short-sleeved shirt; black flat-front slacks; black soft-shell jacket; and glossy black shoes. Lucky for you, Banana Republic designed the garb, so if you don’t already have the pieces in your closet, a quick trip to the mall should yield what you need.

Accessorize with a small piece of luggage, a pocketful of airplane bottles, and your well-worn Mile-High Club card.

Originally a member of Alpha Flight, a fictional team of Canadian superhumans in the Marvel Comics universe, Northstar is now an openly gay member of the X-Men – and, one can hope, the XXX-Men after dark. His powers include reaching near light speeds on land and in air, creating cyclones by spinning in circles, and running up walls and water. He also possesses extraordinary stamina, endurance, and reflexes – if only to satisfy the sexual fantasies of fey fanboy’s everywhere. Costume essentials include a skin-tight black body suit, white mid-calf boots from TV Store Online, elbow-length white gloves, and a silver-streaked black wig with save-the-world bangs. Turn your Northstar getup into a couple’s affair by dressing your boy toy as Kyle Jinadu, the sports-events manager the hero wed in the One Million Moms-protested issue of Astonishing X-Men (#51) this past June.

British Olympic Diver (a la Tom Daley) As much as we were rooting for the American divers to bring home the gold from this year’s Olympic Games, we were equally pulling for barely legal British cutie-patootie and potential team player Tom Daley every time he took his place on the board. Individually, Daley left London with only a bronze medal (an incredible accomplishment in itself, mind you), but he made a major splash with viewers worldwide – especially the ones who roll in your band of bedroom buddies. You only need one piece of apparel for this skimpy costume – a Team GBR Speedo (and a swimmer’s body to match, of course) – but you’ll pay a pretty penny for it on eBay; the current price is $395. To cut costs, grab a Union Jack-inspired swimsuit from Boys Get Wet and fashion a homemade Olympic medal from a festive ribbon and foil-covered cardboard.

American Horror Story’s Rubber Man There was a lot to love about the freshman installment of American Horror Story from out-and-proud series creator Ryan Murphy (Glee, The New Normal). From Jessica Lange’s frighteningbut-fabulous Constance to Dylan McDermott’s bounce-a-quarter-off-it bare ass to Zachary Quinto’s S&M storyline, the first season of the surprise anthology provided just the right amount of WTF supernatural antics.

The top prize for most dress-up worthy character from the FX network’s ratings darling, however, has to go to Rubber Man, the black latex fetish suit adequately brought to (after)life by the understatedly sexy Evan Peters. Pulling off this devilishly erotic look couldn’t be easier, either: Just visit the FX Shop online to scoop up the complete skin-tight ensemble for less than $70. continued on pg.17 @DavidAtlantaGA // 15

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Wil from Big Brother 14 From the moment openly gay marketing consultantturned-Big Brother 14 HouseGuest Wil Heuser sashayed onto the sequestered CBS set this summer, his days were numbered. When Wil’s larger-than-life personality wasn’t sucking all the air out of a room, his overly sensitive, often arrogant attitude was offending the other players – which is why it was no surprise when he was sent packing on Day 41 of the reality competition. To build your version of a Bizarro Wil, visit your local thrift shop to scoop up a sheer top, velvet shorts, a pair of combat or cowboy boots, and a metallic wrist cuff. For the pièce de résistance, don a shoulder-length dirty-blonde wig with braided bangs then give yourself three snaps in a Z formation.

Frank Ocean Both the hip-hop and LGBT communities were stunned last July when reports popped up that Frank Ocean, then a little-known rapper, came out in a blog post on his Tumblr discussing an unrequited love he shared with another man. Haters, many of whom had never heard of Ocean before, immediately cried foul and claimed the timing of such news was suspect – the artist’s debut studio album, Channel Orange, dropped a week later – but the admission was largely acknowledged with positivity and praise from fans, friends, and fellow famous folk like Russell Simmons and Jay-Z. To pay homage to the wave-making Ocean this Oct. 31, top a graphic tee with an unbuttoned cardigan, wear a funky-fresh sweatband around your head, and rock dark denim paired with streetwise sneakers. Now if anyone gives you lip, you can kick their ass in style.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and blogger whose work has been published by more than 100 print and digital publications, including CNN.com, The Huffington Post, The Advocate, Instinct magazine, Frontiers in L.A., Washington Blade, and The Examiner newspapers, among many others. Follow Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox. @DavidAtlantaGA // 17

zopardi

By Chris Az

NO DOUBT, Push and Shove DRAGONETTE, Bodyparts No Doubt’s femme-fronter Gwen Stefani longs for the past on a track from the band’s new album, Push and Shove, when she sings, “Do you remember how it was?”

Though the song, “Sparkle,” is likely lamenting a relationship that’s aged into oblivion, it can’t help but be read as a nostalgic trip down memory lane – the kind that comes 11 years after releasing your last album, where “it’s never gonna be the same” even if we want it to be. The decade between Rock Steady and this roots-rewind established Gwen Stefani as a solo act and mommy. So while it’s true that we can’t expect the same No Doubt – the foursome are all in their 40s and have eight kids among them – Push and Shove recaptures the scrappy-pop magic of the 26-year-old band. That imitable grungy ska sound is immediately recognizable on “Settle Down,” a single that goes from Middle Eastern restaurant to nightclub. One of the best songs, “Easy,” works evocative ’80s synths into a power-ballad rush that feels inspired by late-night drives along the Cali coast. Not all the softies prevail: The few fillers tacked on at the end, especially the closer “Dreaming the Same Dream,” are lost for ideas. But even the ridiculousness of “Looking Hot,” which could fit any of Gwen’s solo sessions, has a cool strut that you can’t help but go bananas over. Welcome back, No Doubt.

Could Dragonette be having a Robyn moment? The Canadian trio, which has struck up buzz in the dance underground, is ready to mingle with the mainstream – and, like Robyn did with Body Talk, has an album accessible enough to put them there. (Look at the album titles, too: one’s about body parts; the other – Ms. Fembot herself – gets those parts talking.) They also have the cocksure confidence to climb that ladder: “Live in This City” isn’t just the biggest earworm on the album; it’s better than most of what’s currently on radio. It’s also a damn good song to dance to in your underwear. Same goes for “Giddy Up,” a hyper jolt of Mario Bros. blips, frontwoman Martina Sorbara’s brisk singing and a novelty sound that can’t help but conjure the teen years of Hanson – in a good way. Songs like “Untouchable,” about tainting a goody two-shoes, and “Run Run Run,” almost indistinguishable from Goldfrapp, take an evocative approach that’s tempered so much they barely register; the same pure-pop punch just ain’t there. But “Let It Go” has that emerging from every corner of its synth-powered, drumslapped whoop; “My Legs,” too,” is a saucy dance-floor ditty – but it also has a message of empowerment tucked in its get-down proclamation. Bodyparts is dance music that’s guiltless even after the drinks wear off.

Grade: B

Grade: B-

18 // davidatlanta.com

ALSO OUT

Tori Amos, Gold Dust It’s natural to want to reflect on the originals after hearing the rerecorded versions – backed by the famed Metropole Orchestra – on Tori Amos’ latest release. Don’t be surprised if many of them sound very similar. Though the set list, which covers Amos’ early work as much it does the lesser-known and more current fare, is a satisfying collection of songs, the differences are so subtle that Gold Dust is more direct, with just minor changes – though a new “Precious Things” is refreshing. Made to commemorate 20 years since her Little Earthquakes debut, it’s best to look at this as a greatest hits.

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By Clayton Morey

K

nown for his unconventional and innovative gastronomy, Top Chef All-Star victor Richard Blais has partnered with Concentrics Group to create The Spence, a new restaurant featuring cuisine as quirky and creative as the chef himself. Located in Tech Square, The Spence occupies the space that was formerly the Globe. Having worked with Concentrics before back in 2005 at their flagship One Midtown Kitchen (where Blais’s innovated cuisine helped to earn them a four star rating from the AJC), Blais left the company to open a handful of projects of his own before taking time off to appear on Top Chef Chicago where he was runner up.

He then returned to Bravo and won Season Eight of Top Chef All-Stars. With his newfound national recognition and a reinvented, less scientific approach to gastronomy, Blais returned to Atlanta and has created his namesake consulting company, Trail Blais, which has spurred the creation of HD-1 and Flip Burger. Now, Blais has reunited with Bob Amick and Todd Rushing (the owners of The Concentrics Group) to bring us The Spence.

The Spence is the first time, in many years, that Blais is back in the kitchen as Executive Chef (all be it sporadically, according to sources), and the menu is teaming with the progressive style we have come to expect from Blais. According to Blais, he has found a new appreciation for simple cooking, but the traces of his mad scientist approach can still be found (i.e. liquid nitrogen canisters 26 // davidatlanta.com

and smoke guns filling helmet-sized glass cloches with hickory scented vapors).

The menu is a product of a list of daily inspirations that the team is so good as to share with you right at the top of the page. The night we dined, their inspirations included, but were in no way limited to, “red pens, sustainable seafood, family meal, melons, Twitter, Irish butter, Sublime, and orange wine.” The food reflects the fact that it’s all about “what we are into at the moment.”

Creative and sometimes unconventional pairings of the freshest seasonal, local, and exotic ingredients give an edge to the menu you don’t often find in this city.

The majority of the menu is a selection of small plates that seem to be best for sharing and tasting. A deceptively simple salad of beets with soft-boiled eggs and bleu cheese was refreshing, while a wasabi dressing brought a dramatic pitch to the plate. Rolled slices of Hamachi Sashimi were contrasted against crispy fried clams and served with a Yuzu (a Japanese citrus fruit) glaze and dots of a smoky aioli for dipping. We also sampled a boorishly oversized “Slab of Foie Gras” with green peaches and toast points; tasty, but far too much and too rich for two people to share.

A nod must also be given to Atlanta’s “go to” restaurant design team Johnson Studios for creating a room reticent with the quirkiness that defines The Spence. Navy colored reclaimed wood accents and zinc and pine tabletops juxtapose against cleaner elements such as shiny lacquered white brickwork. A lighted, square shelve looms high above the kitchen displaying a collection of cookbooks, grand earthen serving vessels, and miscellaneous dry goods.

In my opinion, Blais‘s return to the executive chef role, as well as to the Concentrics family, is not only wise but For a little more drama, try the bone marrow. This tradi- also well timed. He seems to have found a new sense of tional steakhouse delicacy was elevated to new heights himself and his craft. Perhaps the structure that a powwith smeared fiery tuna tartar and topped with fried quail erhouse restaurant group like Concentrics provides might eggs. The fatty marrow cuts the heat of the tartar and have at one time seemed restrictive to Blais, but now the the addition of the quail egg adds a third dimension of teaming has seemingly created what I believe will prove silky texture to the dish. This dish is defiantly a “don’t to be a great success for both Blais and the group. miss” item. For his next trick, Blais offers a large glass dome filled with grey smoke. As it arrived to the table, the Rating: Adense smoke obscured any sight of what was marinating underneath. With a flourish reminiscent of servers from The Spence, 75 Fifth Street days past the glass was removed to reveal grilled octopus 404-892-9111 with baker’s potatoes and black garlic. While the dish was thespenceatl.com enjoyable, the presentation was far more memorable.

Thoughts or comments? Contact Clayton Morey at The menu also includes a handful of more conventional clayton@feedinfrank.com or visit his website at www. entrée preparations, if by any chance you are still hungry feedinfrank.com for more restaurant reviews. Follow after your small plates. At our server’s enthusiastic recme on Twitter @FeedinFrank ommendation, we felt obligated to try the pork belly with a subtly spicy shrimp relleno and velvet puree of sweet corn. The succulent slow roasted pork belly was fork tender, and the heat, from what I believe were roasted poblano peppers, paired well with the cheesy stuffed shrimp.

While Blais may be a stand out star nationally, here at The Spence, he is sharing the spotlight with two new stars in their own rights. First, the sweeter side of the culinary team is Pastry Chef Andrea Litvin, formerly of the Livingston, is bringing her creations to The Spence. We enjoyed her simply refreshing Yuzu semifreddo and peach sorbet with fragrant chili oil.

Also coming into his own is The Spence’s beverage director Justin Amick (the son of the aforementioned Bob Amick). He brings a masterfully curated wine list featuring a staple selection of “Tried and True” and an exciting trove of esoteric “Take a Risk” options from across the globe. We took the risk and let our server pick a wine to pair with our meal. He chose for us a Zweigelt from Zantho (an Austrian varietal featuring deep purple extraction and flavors of dark cherry, earth and cassis) that was a surprisingly affordable bottle for its complexity and quality. The Spence also features a “cocktail kitchen” that cooks up some adventurous libations. @DavidAtlantaGA // 27

t Groomers Best Pe

2012

Screen Queen:

The H alloween Edition

By Chris Azzopardi

Universal Classic Monsters: The Essential Collection Before “torture porn,” scary movies weren’t all boobs and guts; they could scare you without sawing off a foot. Universal’s gone back over 80 years to remaster the classic Dracula and unleash the other beasts that followed the less-is-more approach: With eight films in all, the studio that defined the horror genre goes all out with this must-have for monster-movie fans. The first dates to 1931, when Bela Lugosi turned Dracula into a legendary nutcase full of weird ticks; the original is included here, and with a striking cleanup – check out the cool restoration process during one of the many special features – that should scare up new horror fans. How some of these movies inspired contemporary fright films should be apparent with not only Creature from the Black Lagoon, a trailblazer for underwater spooks that now, some six decades later, comes off as delightfully hokey, “did they really think that was scary?” camp, but also The Wolf Man, which might feature the most empathetic “villain” ever. Also included are both Frankenstein and The Bride of Frankenstein, the 1943 version of The Phantom of the Opera, The Mummy and The Invisible Man. Besides the better-than-ever Blu-ray transfers, all the films are included in a neat book with a supplemental info guide that breaks down their beginnings. And the special features?

Lots to sink your teeth into.

30 // davidatlanta.com

Hocus Pocus When Hocus Pocus flew into multiplexes on a broomstick in 1993, it was a silly farce that, in hindsight, had lots of gay cred going for it: Besides Bette Midler, it also starred a preSex and the City/Glee Sarah Jessica Parker. Ahead of its time, it was already mirroring a culture that would become obsessed with using Botox to erase wrinkles. But these three witches, also including Kathy Najimy as the really stupid one, were more resourceful than us when it came to hiding the fact that they’re actually three centuries old. Just give them the youthfulness of a child and those years go bye-bye.

(Talk about some hocus pocus.) The tricky trifecta ham it up in this Disney flick – especially Midler, with her serious rabbit grill – that’s as much for kids as it is for diva-obsessed, Carrie Bradshaw-loving queers who revel in the awesomeness of seeing their girls cause trouble and ride on hard sticks. The hi-def experience certainly makes the movie more magical, but someone should conjure the Spirit of Special Features – they’re nowhere on this Blu-ray.

Prometheus Even without Sigourney Weaver going all butch on some killer mutants, this prequel to Alien has all the necessary components of a Ridley Scott flick: kick-butt babes, alien-baby births and stomach-turning ickyness. Only if Michael Fassbender, who stars as a deceitful android, showed his very large penis – again – could this movie be everything you ever wanted. It’s the year 2089 and a crew of inquisitive explorers sets out to seek the origins of humanity in uncharted territory that’s obviously a breeding ground for all sorts of humanhungry gross things. Questions aren’t answered like the film promises, but it’s sure hella fun watching aliens tears apart these people – not to mention seeing Charlize Theron play rough and a pretty incredible finale that lays the foundation for Scott’s great quadrilogy. Originally released in 3D, Prometheus gets the same fancy treatment for its home-release (with many hours of special features), but the two-disc Blu-ray still pops with visual splendor and a few cool extras: a Ridley Scott commentary, deleted and alternate scenes and The Peter Weyland Files for the Alien diehards.

American Horror Story: The Complete First Season No series in recent memory has as many creepy twists, truly terrifying boos or half-naked backside shots of Dylan McDermott as American Horror Story, a Ryan Murphy production that transformed Jessica Lange into an Emmy-winning psychopath. FX’s horror hit, in its first button-pushing season, turned us on (sometimes literally) to all things horrific – Rubber Man (and Piggy Man), a freaky home invasion and mistresses that come back from the dead – as a family regretfully uncovered the dark secrets of “Murder House.” One of those secrets? What happened to the gay couple that used to live there (half of that twosome being the newly out Zachary Quinto). It wrapped after 12 episodes (the second season comes with an Asylum tag), all of which are included here, but the haunts keep coming: The bonus features include a making-of, a cool look at the menacing opening sequence, an introduction to the ghosts and a tour of the house where it all started – and ended.

Dark Shadows If anybody knows bizarre, it’s the bromantic moviemaking duo of Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. Together they turned Charlie and the Chocolate Factory into a freak show and brought the musical story of knifewielding barber Sweeney Todd to the big screen.

Weird isn’t a problem for either. So, naturally, Dark Shadows, based on the ’60s series, throws ghosts, vampires and, uh, werewolves into the gothic mix, starting off with promise as we meet a family of distinctly dysfunctional characters and a cursed vampire, Barnabas Collins (Depp), who returns to his ancestral home – and tries to adapt to things like, you know, cars. It’s got wackiness – and standout roles from Helena Bonham Carter and Eva Green – but where’s the bite?

The last half of the directionless Dark Shadows, which does look fantastic, collapses on itself with incongruous storytelling and off-the-wall hysterics, dragging itself to a Death Becomes Her finish that’s all frills but no fun. The extras are just as disappointing: six minutes of deleted scenes and scene-specific interview snippets. Not even a full commentary to make up for this mess. @DavidAtlantaGA // 31

BARTAB

MONDAY

BLAKE’S Trivia w/ Mary Edith Pitts @ 11pm $250 prize, then New Drag on the Edge w/ Nicole Paige Brooks BURKHART’S Blue Monday Karaoke w/ Angelica D’Paige 11:30pm COCKPIT Big Red Cup All Day, specials EAGLE Comedy TV- Free Pool FELIX’S Free Pool FRIENDS DJ opens at 2pm HERETIC Play w/ Eddie 4pm-11pm HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm MODEL T Monday Night Madness 9pm OSCAR’S Midtown Martini Club 4pm. Service Industry Night 9pm TRIPP’S Monday Night Madness 9pm WOOF’S Texas Hold ‘Em Poker 8pm

TUESDAY BLAKE’S Karaoke w Suzanne Gleeson 11pm BURKHART’S Trivia Tuesday Karaoke w/ Angelica D’Paige 11:30pm

CLUB RUSH HipHop til 4am, $5 COCKPIT 80s Party 9pm, specials 5-8pm EAGLE Tuesdays w/ Tony FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night FRIENDS Let’s Make a Deal 6pm HERETIC 2-Step Tuesday, dance till 11pm HIDEAWAY TEAM Trivia w/ Will 9pm MIXX Piano Night w/ David Reeb 8pm MODEL T Texas Hold’em Poker 9:30pm OSCAR’S Show Tune Tuesday 8pm SWINGING RICHARDS 1/2 Price cover TRIPP’S Ladies Night 9pm WOOF’S Industry Day Free Wii 5pm

WEDNESDAY BLAKE’S 5-9pm Doug’s party pop hits, The “Lust and Bust Show”11 pm BURKHART’S Humpday Karaoke w/ Darlene Majewski 11:30pm COCKPIT Balls Deep Karaoke 10pm EAGLE 80’s Music w/ Travis

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THURSDAY blake’s $5 burgers, Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, Shawnna Factor Show 11pm

BURKHART’S Twisted Thursday w/ Phoenix

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SATURDAY blake’s opens 1pm, Daring Divas 11pm BURKHART’S Extravaganza w/ Shavonna B. Brooks 11:30pm

club rush Dance Party cockpit DJ Diablo Rojo, guest VJ/DJ’s eagle DJ Dance Party felix’s Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm friends Afternoon Party with D.J. Noon

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@DavidAtlantaGA // 47

creep of the week:

A

couple of weeks ago I was sitting around trying to think of something cool and hilarious to do and I came up with the idea to write “You are a faggot” in grammatically incorrect Spanish on my face. Totally original, right? I mean, who else would think of such a thing?

As it turns out, Yunel Escobar, a shortstop for the Toronto Blue Jays, beat me to the punch. In that he really did write “You are a faggot” in grammatically incorrect Spanish on his face and then trotted out onto the baseball field, in real life.

Unsurprisingly, people noticed and it caused quite a stir, leaving Escobar suspended for three games with his salary for those games reportedly being donated to the You Can Play campaign and to GLAAD. This turn of events has folks on the anti-gay right flamin’ mad. Joseph Farah, the man behind World Net Daily, was inspired to write in his Oct. 2 Between The Lines column (seriously. His WND column handle is Between The Lines) titled “Homosexual Fascists Target Baseball.”

“Are Mom and apple pie next?” Farah’s column begins.

“Those may be the next targets of the homosexual fascists - who are like the anti-American poofy sect of the Taliban.”

That’s right, folks. A grown ass man writes “You are a faggot” in grammatically incorrect Spanish on his face and yet gays are the bad guys here. Personally, I have nothing against moms - heck, I am one myself - and my wife makes a pretty amazing apple pie. Oh, wait. That probably falls under Farah’s definition of homosexual fascist activity.

JOSEPH

FARAH

By D’Anne Witkowski

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Comparing gays to the Taliban is a nice touch. Getting offended because a baseball player writes “You are a faggot” in grammatically incorrect Spanish on his face (I cannot emphasize that enough) is totally comparable to, say, the destruction of the World Trade Center and the murder of thousands of Americans.

Farah also throws in a Nazi comparison just for good measure when he refers to gays as the “crude, vulgar, name-calling, arrogant pink-shirt gestapo.” My guess is that Farah is not trying to be ironic when he accuses gays of “name-calling.”

Oh, and gays are also worse and more oppressive than Castro. “[Escobar] probably thought once he left Fidel Castro’s island paradise that he would be able to speak his mind, joke around and not fear the thought police,” Farah writes. “Was he ever wrong.”

That’s right, folks. A grown ass man writes “You are a faggot” in grammatically incorrect Spanish on his face and yet gays are the bad guys here.

Yes, poor little Escobar, coming to America only to get called out for writing fucked up things on his face.

Farah honestly doesn’t see what the big deal is since “faggot” is “used far more often by homosexuals than by heterosexuals.”

“Should non-homosexual Americans be fined, suspended and humiliated for a remark that wouldn’t draw a second glance in most homosexual bathhouses?” Farah writes.

Granted, I haven’t spent much time (any, actually) in gay bathhouses (then again, Farah is the one positioning himself as the expert here, not me). But I suspect that if you walked around with “You are a faggot” written in grammatically incorrect Spanish on your face you would most certainly “draw a second glance.” Probably even more so if you wrote it on your penis.

“Has anyone ... picked up a “gay” newspaper lately and seen the kind of obscenity they portray and the filthy language they use?” Farah writes.

Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about, but he can go suck a bag of dicks.

@DavidAtlantaGA // 53

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fairyscopes ARIES (March 20 – April 19): If you get it into your

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): The solution to

head to try something new at work, consult with someone first. It will help you look like a better team player and could save you a lot of trouble. They might even improve on your ideas.

your relationship problems is not in the bedroom. There are other kinds of creative play and challenges that can help you understand each other better. Like what?

That’s the creative part.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Looking creatively

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): Your mouth is liable to get you into trouble, especially at work. Keep your mind intrigued with new techniques and away from low amusements and gossip. If you can’t say anything nice, learn to say it in a different language.

at new ideas can wake up some inner demons. Your partner will help you dispel those old monsters, but it may take a lot of discussion. Schedule time to discuss your worries and fears, but also your hopes.

GEMINI (May 21- June 20): Check into your family health history, especially on Mom’s side. Some community work can help you find new purpose in your life and make some very helpful connections. If you’re already there, you may need to work on better connections.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): You may chafe at authority and discipline, but take the long view and see how you can use them to your advantage.

Fun-loving friends who urge you to do crazy things are more than fun-loving, and less than friends.

CANCER (June 21- July 22): Worrying about your role and position in your family can make you sick.

Don’t worry. If you’re feeling neglected, remember the telephone works both ways. Focus on your work, don’t obsess. Pace yourself, breathe, relax.

CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Don’t

LEO (July 23 – August 22): Your playful impulses can be too enthusiastic and easily misunderstood. Think before speaking. The planets are conspiring to make a great fool of you. You can handle that, but stay alert to the time and the place, and the consequences.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Don’t let

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Your partner needs a good listener right now, not just conversationally, but on other levels. That could lead to novel fun in the bedroom, but be very aware of safety issues that might come up.

PISCES (February 19 – March 19): The strength of

58 // davidatlanta.com

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new position or responsibilities tempt you to spending sprees, or into taking yourself too seriously! Someone who sees you naked on a regular basis will be happy to help you keep things in proportion.

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