David Atlanta Magazine - V. 16 I. 43

10.23.13 V.16 I.43

Out of the Ashes:

PHOENIX

CONQUERS Atlanta’s Drag Scene

The Gayest

Halloween Costumes of 2013

Seen@

Atlanta Pride

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m o r f e t o r N o t A the Edi 10.23.13 V.16 I.43

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Back Down to Earth

Another Pride has come and gone, and while Pride itself is an incredible reminder of how far our community has come over the past few decades, let alone years, the week after has offered some examples of how backwards things still are in some parts of the world.

In the world of pop culture, one of the big stories of the year is how the rise of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis has helped paved a way for more acceptance of gays in the rap community. Well, apparently Eminem missed the memo. His latest single, “Rap God,” includes lines like “I’ll still be able to break a motherfuckin’ table over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half.” And the critical reaction to the song? Most critics are praising the song, while barely acknowledging the virulent homophobia in the song.

A little closer to home, the Atlanta Braves participated in GLAAD’s Spirit Day in part through a Facebook post. The response from a lot of Atlanta fans? Rampant displays of ignorance – enough to garner national media attention. While other baseball teams had similar outbursts, none were quite as notable as Atlanta’s.

It’s a sad state of affairs, but it’s also a reminder that we still have a lot of work to do with other parts of our country.

Elijah Sarkesian

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TOC

10.23.13 V.16 I.43

Cover >

Phoenix 18 Gayest Halloween 24 Costumes

Feature > Deep Inside Hollywood Screen Queen: Halloween Edition

12 48

Seen@ > HRC Brunch 10 Burkhart’s 16 10th & Piedmont 22 Ten Atlanta 28 Piedmont Park 38 Amsterdam 44 Blake’s 50 Club Rush 54 Henry’s 58 Pride Parade 70

18

24

12

48

The Rest > Creep of the Week 14 the Scene 60 Bartab 62 Datebook 64 Comics 66 Kyle’s Bed & Breakfast 68 Fairyscopes 72 Classifieds 73 Favorite Bitch 74 Bitch, Please!

76

COVER: PHOTOGRAPHER Blane Bussey MODEL Phoenix

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@DavidAtlantaGA // 11

By Romeo San Vicente Boots, biceps and bulges The late Touko Laaksonen, the Finnish artist also known as “Tom of Finland,” probably did more to push gay male erotic images into the mainstream than anyone else in the 20th century. His illustrations were designed to inspire lust and to erase the boundary between art and pornography.

They also helped re-create happier, hornier self-images for many gay men in the 1970s with their fantasies of muscular masculinity, confidence and outsize sexual achievement.

One documentary short film, Boots, Biceps and Bulges: The Life & Works of Tom of Finland, arrived in the late 1980s, while 1990’s Daddy and The Muscle Academy was an LGBT film festival staple in its moment, just as Tom himself was dying at age 71. Now a biopic currently titled Tom of Finland is in production, ready to tell the story of the sexual and artistic pioneer. Finnish director Dome Karukoski will helm the feature, which has yet to be cast. And it has the official, authorized blessing of the Tom of Finland Foundation, so as extremely hot men find their way into the cast, you’ll hear about it here first.

begin attending male strip clubs in groups, Banerjee became very, very rich catering to the as-yet-untapped market potential of the straight female (and gay male) libido. As the decade wore on, however, Banerjee’s excessive lifestyle and paranoia grew. Things got weird, illegal activity followed, assassination plots were hatched (!) and the man who brought so much joy to so many people via the simple act of taking off a man’s shirt and leaving the bow tie affixed to his neck, found himself in prison, where he died. One day there’ll be a happy male stripper movie (downbeat Magic Mike, we’re looking at you) but until then we’ll take what we can get.

Casting is underway right now, and Ball hopes to start shooting sometime in early 2014. Until then, keep it in your pants.

Casting update: Ryan Murphy’s Open gets some

Earlier we reported that Ryan Murphy’s latest project, the HBO series Open (note: this is the one that will not involve singing teenagers or covens), would star Wes Bentley. That’s still the case, but he’s got more people to act opposite and behave R-ratedly around him at this point. Jennifer Jason Leigh, Scott Nearly naked Men, it’s time for your Speedman, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol’s Michelle close-up Monaghan and Fringe’s Anna Torv have all signed on to participate in what is described as a “provocative” investigaAlan Ball has a to-do list when True Blood comes to an end: tion of human sexuality and modern relationships. That means He’s going to get a lot of guys naked. That means he’s writ- everyone on the show till be attractive and, really, that’s kind ing and directing I Am Chippendales, adapting his screenplay of what you want with a show about sex. With Murphy at from the book by Rodney Sheldon. It’s the story of Somen the helm it’s certain to have its share of gay characters and “Steve” Banerjee, an Indian immigrant who started his caplotlines, we just don’t know who the homo characters are goreer pumping gas in Los Angeles before running an upscale ing to be at this point. And, most importantly, since it’ll be on nightclub that would evolve into the Chippendales male revue HBO, we’re just going to start lobbying right now for full frontal franchise. Exploding into the mainstream of pop culture in nudity from everyone in the cast. No more sex with bras on the 1980s, when gangs of women decided, en masse, to and strategic sheet placement! Liberation for the flesh!

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Oprah’s Gay In Hollywood. Does Steadman know?

Set your DVR because Oprah’s gearing up for a late October night of gay programming that’ll probably make you laugh as well as move you to tears. On Oct. 27, the OWN Network will air Oprah’s Next Chapter: Gay In Hollywood.

No, she has nothing to announce about Gayle, but she will be interviewing the hilarious Wanda Sykes, Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson and actor/producer Dan Bucatinsky about how being openly gay has affected their careers in entertainment. Immediately after that, OWN will host the television premiere of Bridegroom, the devastating documentary that’s been the talk of LGBT film festivals all year. It tells the story of Shane Bitney Crone and Tom Bridegroom, a young male couple whose happy relationship was cut short when Tom died in tragic accident. What unfolded after that sad day – Bridegroom’s family rejected Crone entirely and denied him access to his partner’s funeral and more – would come to shed ugly light on what happens when same-sex couples in relationships without the legal protections of marriage find themselves cut out of families during times of crisis. Don’t miss it.

Ryan Murphy

photo: Helga Esteb / Shutterstock.com

@DavidAtlantaGA // 13

creep

of the week: Mat Staver

“Public schools from California to Florida are celebrating LGBT History Month, where they highlight a homosexual or lesbian each day,” the release begins before lamenting that students would learn about Gwen Araujo, a 17-year-old girl murdered at the hands of three men who discovered she was not biologically female. While it may seem redundant to call a murder vicious, Araujo’s killers were especially so. She was beaten with a shovel, strangled, and left in a shallow grave. The details are available online if you want to have the kinds of nightmares that I sure hope the men who killed her have.

Of course, there’s a reason why we remember Araujo and all the girls and women like her who’ve been killed and continue to be killed. We must bring attention to anti-transgender violence before we can ever dream of stopping it. Teaching young people about Araujo’s life and death puts a face and name to what is, for many, a barely visible population about which much ignorance exists. By shining a light on Araujo’s murder we hope that young women living today will escape her fate.

Granted, that’s not the take-away for Staver. “If parents think our school children should be focused on science and math, not sex and murder, they need to talk to teachers, principals, and school boards to ensure that this program is stopped,” he says.

Yes. Shut it down! As soon as girls hear that Sally Ride was a lesbian they’ll abandon their aspirations to be an astronauts and become lesbians! Young men in econ classes everywhere will become spontaneously gay once they hear about the contribution John Maynard Keynes made to macroeconomics.

Staver goes on to say, “The sexual assault on our children is mind-boggling,” before stomping his feet about the bans on “reparative” therapy for LGBT people.

By D’Anne Witkowski

P

Surely Staver is not suggesting that teaching students about LGBT people and/or banning the use of harmful pseudo-therapy on children is the same as sexual assault. Because that would be seriously messed up, not to mention a huge insult to victims of actual sexual assault.

oet Langston Hughes. Russian composer Peter Tchaikovsky. Civil rights activist Bayard Rustin.

Mathematician and “Father of Computer Science” Alan Turing. Writer and journalist Janet Mock. Physicist and astronaut Sally Ride. Economist John Maynard Keynes.

Then again, he actually does sound that clueless.

“Enough is enough!” he rants. “The innocence of our Chances are good you’re familiar with all or most of these children is under assault in the public schools. Parents names. All of them gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. and concerned citizens must stand up and demand that With October being LGBT History Month, it’s a good time to public schools focus on the essentials of learning and appreciate the role LGBT people have played socially and not become vehicles of a sexualized agenda.” historically. And what better place to have that discussion than schools?

Call me crazy, but I think that it’s pretty essential for young people to learn to respect the dignity of their Not so fast says Mat Staver, founder and chairman of the fellow human beings and not, you know, beat them to Liberty Counsel, a right-wing “ministry” focusing in part on death with a shovel for being different. If “parents and using the law to oppress gay people. In an October 3 press concerned citizens” can’t get behind that concept then release, Liberty Council lashed out at the idea that young god help us all. people should learn about a bunch of queers.

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@DavidAtlantaGA // 17

Phoenix The Female Version of a Hustler

BY DYL AN MICHAEL photos: Blane Bussey | Blanebussey.tumbler.com 18 // davidatlanta.com

Y

ou know, I think Beyoncé had it wrong. In her song “Diva,” she said “a diva is a female version of a hustler,” but I think it should have have been written “A Phoenix is a female version of a hustler,” because that’s what this queen does: hustle! You may recognize her season three of RuPaul’s Drag Race, or from her multiple jobs working at Burkhart’s, Jungle, Blake’s, Lips Atlanta and anywhere in between. I caught her in one of her down moments (which are few and far in between) and got to talk to her and get to know a little more about this hard working badass ATL queen!

Hi Phoenix! How are you, darling?

I’m fine, just catching my breath. I just walked in the door from a photo shoot!

I don’t really classify myself as any certain type of drag queen. I do drag, I’m an artist. And I think, as an artist, you just kind of go with it. And doing make up, to me, is very therapeutic. Sometimes I may have an idea for a look and I don’t know how it’s going to play out until I’m finished. It’s definitely like an artist with a canvas, you know? Like, they’ll sit down and have an idea about what they want to paint but they don’t really know how it’s going to end up. It’s the same situation with me.

So, I don’t really have a style. I love everything from androgyny to high glamour. I’ve always described my style as “glamorous edge.” I love the high fashion, glamorous part of drag but I like to have an edge, too. So, even if I do something that’s androgynous, I still try to have some type of femininity to it.

Awesome! I can’t wait to see the pictures! Ok, so for those of us who don’t know Phoenix, won’t you Fabulous! So how has life been for you since RuPaul’s Drag Race? please introduce yourself?

Hi, I’m Brian Trapp, AKA Phoenix. I’ve been doing drag for about 12 years. People have seen me on RuPaul’s Drag Race, a couple of different movies and television shows. I’ve lived in Atlanta and LA, but I call Atlanta home.

So, where, and how, did you get your start doing drag?

Well, like I said, I started 12 years ago and it actually kind of started off as a little – not really a dare, but one of my best friends was always so excited about drag and obsessed with it even though he couldn’t do it, it just wasn’t for him. I was always into theater and dance and that kind of thing so he one day just talked me into it. We used to drive down from Cumming, GA to go to the bars and see Shawnna Brooks and I just remember being so amazed by her, and a couple of other queens in the city like EJ Aviance and Nicole; so all those girls but especially Shawnna. Whenever I could sneak into the bars (underage) to see her perform, I would definitely try and I was just obsessed with her. I got help from Martina Diamante and Nicole Paige Brooks and then I just started doing little talent shows and that kind of thing and 12 years later, here I am!

So, you said that Shawnna Brooks is one of your biggest inspirations, if not the biggest. Can you name some other people who have helped inspire you?

You know, now I really find inspiration from everywhere. I change a lot with my drag; like a phoenix, I’m always re-creating myself. My drag is always evolving. Inspiration comes from everywhere, whether it be other queens or anywhere else. I love fashion, it’s always around our apartment, we’re always talking about it and looking at pictures and videos. It just comes from everywhere!

All the girls from Drag Race talk about what a “rollercoaster ride” that show is and it is just that. You literally deal with people all over the world, since Drag Race doesn’t just show in the States. I get emails, Facebook messages, Tweets from all over the world and you know [laughs] sometime’s they’re not that great. It’s slowed down a little bit but I still get hate mail and all that kinda stuff. But it’s honestly cancelled out by the amounts of love I get from people from all over. It definitely has put me in a bigger spotlight for that type of criticism and exposure, but it definitely comes in handy. I’ve had opportunities to travel a lot; it’s just been a great, great thing. I tell all the girls to definitely audition for it!

It’s a huge plus, and as with any plus, it has its negative points, but it’s definitely worth it.

If you had a second chance, would you go back and compete in RuPaul’s Drag Race – hint hint, RuPaul – would you do it?

I would do it again! I would love to do it again, actually. You know, I tell queens all the time, who ask me about auditioning, make sure you are ready. And, I think when I went on it, I wasn’t ready for it. And it doesn’t even mean your drag aesthetic, I mean mentally. It’s a mental game that I was just not prepared for what went on the set of Drag Race. You know, it’s such a stressful situation but I’ve grown so much as an artist, so much as a person, ya know? I’d definitely love to go back!

Speaking of competition, tell me about Dragnificent, your competition at Jungle!

We’ve held Dragnificent a few times before, so I’m excited about a new season. I love competitions like this! Drag is so hard to get involved with here in Atlanta, cause there’s So. Many. Queens! Atlanta is a Mecca for drag & it’s just really hard to get in here. So this kind of opens the door to newer Like you said, you’re always changing, always evolving, so what kind of queen would you classify queens for them to come in and it’s a great way to grow and gain exposure. One of the biggest things I look at when I cast yourself as? @DavidAtlantaGA // 19

these things is a girl’s got to have the want to do this. Like I said, this city is so full of entertainers so if she doesn’t have the want and the passion and the drive, then I really don’t have the want or the passion of the drive to help you out.

Out of the 11 girls that you have cast for this season, who is your favorite?

[Laughs] Oh! I can’t answer that! You know, the great thing about this season is there are so many new girls that I haven’t had the opportunity to work with yet, and I love it.

There are a couple of girls that when they messaged me on Facebook, I told them that I was intrigued with them. And that’s such a breath of fresh air for me. I’ve been doing this for a long time and, there are some amazing talents here in Atlanta, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen girls that I’ve been a little intrigued by, and I can’t wait to see what they do and what they bring.

As far as picking a favorite, there are girls that I have known going in to this competition and I’m partial to them. But that doesn’t mean they’re a favorite. Not at all!

If you could choose one celebrity, or non-celebrity, to throw in drag, who would it be?

Well, my favorite actor is Johnny Depp. I just think he is amazing, with whatever character he is, he brings them to life, and just to the extreme! He would be fun to put in drag because I would love to see what he would do with a drag character.

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So what’s next for you? What’s coming up in the life of Phoenix?

Oh my God, it’s crazy. I have so much going on at this moment. I just took over the position of Entertainment Director at Burkhart’s, so that’s a new little situation for me! We’re about to do some big changes at Burkhart’s. And now that I have that under my belt, when needed, I’m also the entertainment director at Jungle. Plus doing my actual shows [during the week]: Tuesdays at Jungle for We Are Family; Wednesdays, I have Dragnficent; Thursday, I have Dancefloor Divas; Fridays, I’m at Burkhart’s; Saturdays, I’m at Jungle; and Sunday, I am now the host over at Lips Atlanta over on Buford Highway.

So, just drag, drag, drag, drag, drag, drag. Plus out of town gigs; I’m in Fort Lauderdale and I have 2 gigs in North Carolina coming up. Plus, I’m about to start working with an amazing DJ, DJ Cindel, and his music is so hot right now. We’ve decided to do a little collaboration when we slow down a little bit! When Drag Race started, producers would hit me up and I just could not find someone who fit the idea, but Cindel and I, our ideas mesh and we get it. So, we’re gonna come together and see what we can come up with!

Fabulous! Well, I’m so stoked for everything you’re doing! Thank you for taking the time to talk to me and I can’t wait to see you out and about, six nights a week!

Follow Phoenix on Twitter at @Phoenix_ATL or on Facebook: www.facebook.com/Phoenix.ATL

22 // davidatlanta.com

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The Gayest HALLOWEEN COSTUMES of 2013

BY MIKE Y ROX

A

s holidays go, Halloween is undoubtedly the gayest.

It’s the one time of year where homos can pretend they’re hetero, straight boys step out in short skirts, and grown women turn every respectable profession they can think of into slutty versions of their former selves.

Of course you can head to your local costume shop and pick up a played-out, plastic-wrapped outfit, but we know you better than that. That’s why we’ve compiled this comprehensive list of the most topical, haute, and hilarious gay-friendly Halloween costumes of 2013. From smokin’-hot athletes fighting for equality on and off the field to a Katy Perry pop-and-locker, this year’s hottest TV shows, news stories, and pop-culture juggernauts are now the must-wear, one-night disguises of the season.

style like everybody’s favorite white rapper du jour, swag into your local discount depot for the most outlandish duds you can find on a dime. Feel free to take creative license from the “Thrift Shop” video – bonus points if you can cop a teal scooter to serve as your wheels for the night – and don’t forget to stuff up the front of your flannel zebra jammies.

Apparently Mack is packin’ the heat – and proud of it. And who can blame him? That “big, long, pink, strong” has all the boys beggin’ for ’More.

Red Carpet Boy Toy

Very few of us are lucky enough to be swept off our pauperly feet by a fashion mogul, but pretending you serve up the cake in exchange for a lifetime supply of Calvins is precisely what Halloween’s all about. There are several looks from which to choose this season – inspired by everyone’s favorThe holiday spirit is here, boys – and it’s ite dentally challenged hanger-on, Nick Gruber – including totally queer. Happy Halloweenie!

Fire Island ‘Straight’ Guy, Bloody Hamptons Brawler, Boy Who Holds Barneys Bags, and John Luciano’s Sloppy Thirds.

Macklemore To dress the part of an Internet porn star-turned-professional rent boy, slip into (or out of) any combination of monochroOne of the biggest songs of the year matic designer duds prepped to hit the step-and-repeat. To was Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Same ensure that nobody is confused about whom you’re meant Love,” the pro-equality anthem that to be (or to whom you belong), let your ubiquitous waistband continues to gain traction and do the walking while the “For Sale” sign on your back does change the voice of hip- the talking. hop music. But before straight Mack Pro Athlete Activist got all sentimental for the gays, he Several pro athletes came out of the closet in 2013 – NBA was poppin’ tags star Jason Collins, pro soccer player Robbie Rogers, and the at the local thrift WWE’s Darren Young, to name a few – but 2013 also was a shop, musing banner year for straight athlete-allies to speak out in favor of about green same-sex equality. The loudest and proudest among them gator shoes, – former Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe and former leopard mink Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbedejo (both coats, and your of whom were suspiciously released from their contracts grandpa’s old recently) – have led the charge by lending their celebrity and hand-me-downs. outspoken personalities to causes like the NOH8 Campaign To step out in and local marriage-equality initiatives. To support your

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favorite gay-friendly player on All Hallows’ Eve, don one the guys’ officially licensed jerseys, complete the ensemble with a helmet and uniform set and slap a NOH8 tattoo on your cheek to further level the playing field.

Liberace & Scott Thorson Mr. Showmanship and his surgery-enhanced lookalike younger lover, Scott Thorson, will be a couples’-costume commodity this Halloween given the critical success of HBO’s Liberace biopic Behind the Candelabra and Michael Douglas’ recent Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie win at the 65th annual Primetime Emmy Awards for his uncanny portrayal of the legendary entertainer. For such an elaborate getup you’ll need to hunt down a few potentially pricey and hard-to-find pieces – like a jewel-encrusted three-piece suit, an awe-inspiring fur cape, and gobs of gaudy jewelry – but it can be done on a budget if you have access to a vintage store and a BeDazzler. To pimp out your better half like Liberace’s doe-eyed companion, locate a pastel-colored chauffer’s uniform and bling it out to the nines with sequins and rhines – stones, that is. Whatever you do, don’t get lost in the characters you’re channeling, lest you want your evening ruined by maddening mix of Quaaludes, smeared mascara, and a barrage of hurt feelings.

Prison Break character Michael Scofield, Wentworth Miller is pretty much a badass all day every day. To pay homage to Miller and his behind-bars persona, get your hands on escapee attire that includes a grey sweatshirt covered up with a light-blue button-down and a navy-blue collared canvas jacket. A grey wool beanie will top off the outfit, but don’t forget about the tats; Scofield was inked full circle from collarbone to pelvic bone – an artistic feat that, if accomplished, will have partygoers clamoring to drop your soap.

Uncle Poodle Uncle Poodle – whose real name is Lee Thompson – is the fun, effeminate gay hick that loves his pageant-performing niece, Alana, to pieces, and one of the

Bootylicious Backup Dancer When Katy Perry debuted her recent hit “Roar” at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards, social media lit up like a firework. But the chatter wasn’t about the pop star’s prize-fighter-inspired performance in a makeshift ring under the Brooklyn Bridge.

Rather, the focus was on the bubble-yum bottom of backup dancer Lockhart Brownlie, whose man-candy curves are available for your viewing pleasure all over Tumblr. Turn heads at this year’s fright-night festivities by showing up as the posteriorly endowed scruff monster in a plain grey sweat suit with the legs pulled up and the arms cut off, a pair of mid-calf striped gym socks, boxing shoes, Pro-Flex Tape wrapped around your KO hand, and a week-old beard that’ll make all the cubbies growl. For even more authenticity – if you’re not already blessed with the derriere of a demigod, of course – stuff your rump with padded undies and get ready to rumble.

Prison Breaker For years there’s been speculation that Wentworth Miller – sexy star of the former Fox series Prison Break – is gay. Miller confirmed those rumors earlier this year when he declined an invitation to attend the St. Petersburg International Film Festival, citing that “as a gay man,” he’s “deeply troubled by the current attitude toward and treatment of gay men and women by the Russian government” – which basically proved once and for all that, like his @DavidAtlantaGA // 25

breakout stars of TLC’s Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo. To saunter into your fete like this southern gent on Oct. 31, slap on a pair of muddied-up, loose-fitting stonewash jeans; an Aeropostale polo; a well-worn baseball cap with any pair of Oakleys perched on the bill; and outdated sneakers, preferably British Knight high-tops circa 1998.

So you don’t have to go around explaining who you are every time you meet somebody new, add a pink sash to your digs to let everyone know that you’re the Grand Supreme of this soiree, and they’d better redneckognize.

Kraft Zesty Guy Kraft Zesty Guy Anderson Davis (ya know, the dude whose shirt goes up in flames in the sexy dressing commercials as he smolders on screen) has made a name for himself shilling the salad condiment, but not everyone is amused. While the rest of us are hot, the American Family Association-backed One Million Moms is just plain bothered, which makes imitating this Adonis a must this Halloween. There’s not much to the Kraft Zesty Guy costume – a pair of fitted khakis, a bottle of Zesty Italian in hand, and a professional five-o’clock shadow – but you’ll need the ripped torso of a male model to pull it off with perfection. If sculpted abs and pecs aren’t in your immediate future, however, you can manage the look (and slip in a little humor while you’re at it) with some scantily clad aprons.

WWE’s Darren Young On one hand, we were all surprised when pro wrestler Darren Young unexpectedly revealed to reporters that he’s gay while walking through an airport this summer; on the other, he gets greased up and struts around in flashy undies for a living, so it wasn’t a

26 // davidatlanta.com

stretch. Nonetheless, congratulations go out to the first active WWE performer ever to come out of the closet, and it’s high time we celebrate. Put the hurt on your homies this Halloween by dressing up like Young in your most flamboyant wrestling garb, many pieces of which – like pro-wrestler-worthy teeny-weeny briefs, shiny boots, armbands, and feather boas – you can find at TV Store Online. To emulate Young’s untamed mane, pick up an afro wig at your local costume shop or tease out your own tresses a la a youthful Don King. For the pièce de résistance, adorn your forehead with a gold-sequin headband and show off your elbow drops.

One Direction There’s not enough editorial space to delve into the myriad ways One Direction is the gayest non-gay (not yet, at least) boy band ever. (All that public ass grabbing and man-on-man smooching has to mean something, right?)

So until our collective fantasies come true, we’ll have to settle for a cutie-meets-queer group costume as you and your gaggle get gussied up as this generation’s Fab Five. Compile your costumes by taking a cue from MTV Style, which has graciously gathered many of the pieces you’ll need to unite and take the night as Harry, Zayn, Liam, Niall, and Louis. Pick up a few cordless mics to serve as additional props, learn the words to at least one 1D song – just don’t make it “Little Things” – and give an impromptu performance to provide your fellow party patrons with a few midnight memories. Somewhere, Simon Cowell will be smiling.

@DavidAtlantaGA // 27

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Screen Queen: H alloween Edition

By Chris Azzopardi

Chucky: The Complete Collection Dolls used to be disposable. Toss ’ em, sell ’em, give ’em to Goodwill. Not Chucky. The little ginger shit just won’t go away. A quarter-century after Child’s Play made a very convincing argument that those cuddly Cabbage Patch Kids may not be so cuddly, the horror icon demonstrates that nothing – decapitation, combustion, bad sequels – can keep him away from preying on little kids’ souls. And so we have The Curse of Chucky, the sixth installment in this franchise box set and the first to go direct to disc. That it’s a high point for the saga – maybe even the best – says a lot about filmmaker’s Don Mancini’s passion to please the fans by making Chucky your worst nightmare again. Curse, where the savage plaything ties up some loose ends, is a maniacal nightmare,

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but also, and to Manicin’s credit, a slick and stylish dovetail to the original. If he was a jokey goof after the campy-fun Bride of Chucky and campy-crappy Seed of Chucky, now, the “Good Guy” returns to remind you that no one toys around with this pint-sized punk. Well, except for maybe one person (after the credits, you’ll see who’s back for a killer epilogue).

The rest of this Blu-ray collection includes both Seed and Bride (look for John Waters, Alexis Arquette, Katherine Heigl and Jennifer Tilly) and the trio of Child’s Play-titled films.

Most of the extras, and there’s a fair share, are either DVD hold-over commentaries or related to recent installments: the making of Curse, bringing this mean mofo to life, lots of Tilly and “The Chucky Legacy.” Chucky wants to play. Do so if you dare.

This Is the End If you witnessed the drabness of The Road, you know one thing: The world ending ain’t all that funny. Everything and everyone everywhere dies. And life looks a lot like the saddest Instagram filter. That’s some bleak stuff. But it doesn’t have to be. It can be effing hilarious if it’s happening to James Franco, Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson and a pretty cool bunch of other comic gods and Hollywood hotshots who all play exaggerated almostcartoon versions of themselves. An outrageous, gut-busting gas, the apocalyptic bro comedy runs with the most basic of premises – Judgment Day crashes a Franco party and takes Rihanna, etc. into the pits of hell – and has ghastly gore, a Rosemary’s Baby-inspired homo-demonic takeover, canoodling, cannibalism, a Whitney Houston song and, in a wet-dream-making cameo, an A-list actor leashed, thonged and on all fours. And because you can’t have a Franco film without a

trace of gayness, This Is the End – written by Rogen and co-screenwriter/co-director Evan Goldberg (Superbad ) – pleases with giant penis art in Franco’s place and jokey accusations of his fellatio habits. If this is how the world ends, all pervy and hilarious and even kind of tenderhearted, do it already – bring on that rapture, damn it.

Extras, including a Rogen/Goldberg commentary and the rompy Line-O-Rama, abound, but it’s the short “Cannibal King” that’s four minutes of kinky delight.

Jason’s victims, all carryovers from previous DVD releases – do justice to one of the genre’s most menacing and iconic villains.

American Horror Story: Asylum

Even with the wicked cast of witches currently stirring trouble on FX, there’s still no shaking the psychologically darker-than-dark last season of TV horror anthology American Horror Story, where a psych ward Friday the 13th: The Complete was the setting for Jessica Lange’s ex-gay therapy, Collection a rapey doctor who dismembered the limbs of one of his patients, and a hideous new terror icon known as When it comes to the immortalization of horror franBloody Face. And to think: this all from the guy who chises, Friday the 13th kills the competition. No other brought you Glee. Ryan Murphy – who, let’s face it, has whack job – not Michael Myers, not even Freddy – has guts – goes back in time to the ’60s, to Briarcliff Mental as many reincarnations as Jason Voorhees, the machete Institution, and to the insanity of Catholic loons runslice-and-dicer who’s been drowned and burned and ning a facility with gross narrow-mindedness and evil frozen and hilariously sent to space. But a dozen movies malice. Oh, and aliens – there’s those, too. Murphy even in, and the dude’s probably still at the bottom of Camp exercises his musical flair with one of the season’s best Crystal Lake waiting for his next sequel so he can scenes: the patients’ random dance break during “The refurbish his hockey mask and mangle more teens while Name Game.” Asylum was a descent into the deliciously they get their hanky-panky on. This comprehensive set disgusting corners of Murphy’s warped mind, and all of should help his cause: This nifty collectible tin case fea- it brought to life (and death) by one helluva cast: Lange, tures every movie – from the low-budget 1980 original Sarah Paulson, Zachary Quinto, Dylan McDermott, with a bulgy-crotched Kevin Bacon to Jason’s faceoff Frances Conroy and James Cromwell, who won an with Freddy (poor Kelly Rowland) and the 2009 reboot – Emmy for his role. They discuss their characters during in a foldout Blu-ray book with a retrospective insert, 3D a compendium of interviews. Other extras include the glasses for Part III and a camp counselor patch. Having ridiculous/fun set tour “The Orderly,” a look at the proall 12 of the franchise’s flicks in hi-def, some of them duction design and the series’ use of monster makeup. for the first time (Jason X !), is a horror buff’s dream, and the special features – commentaries, trailers and a “Killer Bonus” disc featuring special-effects secrets and chats with

@DavidAtlantaGA // 31

ALSO OUT Maniac You know Elijah Wood from Flipper. And you know him as Frodo, and as the voice of a penguin in Happy Feet.

Now, with the remake of William Lustig’s 1980 slasher, you’ll know him as a creepy, panting Norman Batestype serial killer with a thing for lady hair, which he scalps and then uses for the mannequins in his boutique shop. Frank’s reason for such savagery? Mommy issues … obviously. What follows is a sadistic stomach-churner with some very sickening sequences of human-wig-making gore and horrifying turns of psychological darkness, all seen through the eyes of Frank. The POV adds an unsettling effect, but otherwise it’s Psycho for a new generation of Saw-obsessed thrill seekers. Extras skimp, but there’s an interesting interview with director Franck Khalfoun on the source material that inspired his remake.

The Fog (Collector’s Edition) Jamie Lee Curtis pretty much hates The Fog, which is kind of funny because she’s in it. In a thorough new interview on the 1980 film’s Bluray debut, the “scream queen” is amusingly frank about John Carpenter’s second tier slow-go follow-up to Halloween. Curtis is, perhaps, a tad harsh on this ghost story about a town swept up in a thick…well, you know. Without trying to be more than a mysterious little fable, The Fog has its simple goosebumping pleasures, leave-it-to-your-imagination spooks and a lasting impression. What comes to mind every time you drive through a cloud of white smog? Yeah, this creepiness. Full of supplements, including a Carpenter commentary, the Collector’s Edition is an impressive set.

Halloween (35th Anniversary Edition)

Michael Myers just keeps Hannibal: coming back ...

Season One to DVD/Blu-ray, that is. ThirtyThe debut season five years of NBC’s Hannibal after he brought Lecter spinoff Halloween-night was as much terror to Laurie about cannibalStrode (Jamie ism as it was Lee Curtis), and Hugh Dancy in to the rest of his underwear. the spookedThat’s not a plot out world, the spoiler – that’s a masked man reason to watch. gets a fancy And there are hi-def bookmany of those style ediin this twisty tion with 20 pages of archival photographs and the creep show. Hannibal, from Pushing Daisies creator Bryan awesomely monstrous Myers art on the front. It’s the Fuller, is a sickening mind game, where every dinner turns best-sounding, best-looking version (so far, anyway) another carnivore into a strict vegetarian and where every of one of horror’s undying classics, and some all-new interaction between FBI agent Will Graham (Dancy) and extras justify this as a must-have rerelease: Curtis is the iconic Dr. Lecter (Mads Mikkelsen) gets a little gayer. joined by director John Carpenter for a revealing comAdding to the queer factor is Scott Thompson of Kids in mentary, and the engaging “Night She Came Home” the Hall, who butches up as a crime-scene investigator. travels to a fan convention with Curtis, where she Uncut episodes, a peek into the series’ development and a hangs with Halloween diehards. Long live the king/ humorous piece on the cannibalistic subtext are among the queen of horror! bonus features.

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58 // davidatlanta.com

theScene 1

10th & Piedmont 991 Piedmont Ave. NE

14 Cowtippers

27 Jungle

40 The Model T

2

Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

15 Daiquiri Factory

28 Las Margaritas

41 Tripps

3

Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

16 Einstein's

29 Manifest 4 U

42 Urban Body Fitness

4

BJ Roosters 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

17 F.R.O.G.S

30 Mixx

43 Woof's

5

Blake's 227 10th St. NE

18 Felix's

31 Oscar's

44 XS Ultra Lounge

6

Bliss 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

19 Flex Spa

32 Opus 1

7

Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave. NE

20 Friends

33 Roxx

8

Brushstrokes 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE

21 Gatsby's

34 Sam's Hair Salon

Le Buzz 585 Franklin Rd. SE Marietta, GA

9

Bubbles Salon 1579 Monroe Dr. NE

22 Gilbert's

35 Southern Nights

Mary's 1287 Glenwood Ave. SE

10 Bulldogs

23 Gravity Fitness

36 Ten Atlanta

My Sister's Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE

11 Burkhart's

24 Heretic

37 The Den

Club Rush 2715 Buford Hwy. NE

12 Capulets

25 Hobnob

38 The Fifth Ivory

Sister Louisa’s Church 466 Edgewood Ave. SE

13 Club Eros

26 Joe's on Juniper

39 The Hideaway

Swinging Richard's 1400 Northside Dr. NW

893 Peachtree St. NE 1492 Piedmont Ave. NE 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 2219 Faulkner Rd. NE

1600 Piedmont Ave. NE 889 W. Peachtree Str. NW 1077 Juniper St. NE 931 Monroe Cir. NE 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 76 4th St. NW

2115 Faulkner Rd. NE

699 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

1931 Piedmont Cir. NE

2103 Faulkner Rd. NE

500 Amsterdam Ave. NE

1492 Piedmont Ave. NE

2425 Piedmont Rd. NE

1510 Piedmont Ave. NE

708 Spring Str. NW Not Shown: Cockpit 465 Boulevard SE

1086 Alco St. NE

736 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE 931 Monroe Dr. NE 219 10th St. NE

1824 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 2000 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

2201 Faulkner Rd. NE 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 1551 Piedmont Ave. NE 1049 Juniper Str. NE

990 Piedmont Ave. Ne 2135 Liddell Dr. NE 794 Juniper Str. NE 1544 Piedmont Ave. NE

Bar/Cocktails

Retail

Dining

Billiards/Darts

Dancing

Dancers

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Leather

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Drag

Baths/Spa

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@DavidAtlantaGA // 61

Bartab

MONDAY

got an upcoming event? calendar@davidatlanta.com

oscar’s Ruby Redd’s After Party - 10 pm swinging richards 2-4-1 VIP Room tripp’s Free Taco Bar 5pm xcess ultra lounge Raquell Lord’s Talent Show 10:30pm, Sophia Mcintosh & Fab 5 +1 11:30pm, 18+

B. Brooks 11:30pm cockpit DJ Diablo Rojo, guest VJ/DJ’s eagle DJ Dance Party BLAKE’S Game Night - Trivia / Family felix’s Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm Feud 11pm | Back to back episodes of Will friends Free Pool and Cheap beer with DJ! & Grace 9pm upstairs 2 pm - 6 pm BURKHART’S Blue Monday Karaoke w/ Gilbert’s All you care to eat brunch Angelica D’Paige 11:30pm (cooked to order) 11-4pm COCKPIT Big Red Cup All Day, specials heretic Varies: Club Night or 3 Legged EAGLE Music Videos with Scotty blake’s Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, “Guys Cowboy Night - 10pm FELIX’S Free Pool hideaway Open at 12:30pm! Saturday FRIENDS Manic Mondays DJ opens - 2 pm & Dolls” with Shawnna Brooks. 11pm Night Party HERETIC Jukebox drag with Knomie Moore BURKHART’S Twisted Thursday w/ Phoenix 11:30pm jungle Ruby’s Redd Light District 9pm; HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm cockpit Dirty Boy Bingo w/ Ruby Redd eagle Balls Deep Karaoke w/ Mikey lips atlanta Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas MODEL T Monday Night Madness Free felix’s Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm Style Pool - 10pm - 2am OSCAR’S Service Industry Night with Eric friends Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet model t Texas Holdem Poker - 3 pm | Girls with Regina Simms 8-closing Party with the M&M Boiz - 9 pm swinging richards Hip-Hop Night, Gilbert’s Wine tasting 6-10pm oscar’s DJ Christopher Kind Sponsored by Hennessy 8:30pm swinging richards T-Shirt Review $10 ten atlanta Texas Hold’em Poker 7pm heretic 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm ten atlanta Music & Videos by DJ Rob TRIPP’S Monday Nite Madness w/ Tana 9pm hideaway Service Industry Night jungle Crazy Bitch Bingo 8pm Reum 10pm lips atlanta Dinner with the Divas tripp’s Afternoon Cookout 3pm model t Party Time with Michael - 9 pm xcess ultra lounge 25+ FREE til 12am BLAKE’S POP! Karaoke w/ Sasie Monroe oscar’s Twisted Thursday with Eric 11pm | Back to back episodes of Will & swinging richards 2-4-1 VIP & Entry Grace 9pm upstairs ten atlanta Thursday Night Live! All 10th & piedmont Bellini Brunch 11 AM BURKHART’S Trivia Tuesday Karaoke w/ Request w/ DJ Daryl Cox 10pm Angelica D’Paige 11:30pm xcess ultra lounge Turnt Up Thursday & T-Dance 4 PM blake’s Open at 1pm - High Energy Muclub rush “Tipsy Tuesday” 18 & up sic & Video w/ Bill Berdeaux & Daryl Cox Open until 4am BURKHART’S Armorettes Drag Show COCKPIT 80s Party 9pm, specials 5-8pm 10th & piedmont Live DJ 10 PM club rush Hip Hop and R&B - 18 & up EAGLE Tuesdays w/ Tony blake’s 5-9pm TGIF, Charlie’s Angels w/ Open until 4am FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night cockpit PBR Beer Bust FRIENDS Let’s Make A Deal with Ken 6 pm Charlie Harding 11pm felix’s Bloody Marys & Mimosas Gilbert’s Industry Night (complementary BURKHART’S Fab Five w/ Angelica D’Paige 11:30pm friends Open @ 2pm; Dinner @ 4pm pizza after 10pm) while it lasts HERETIC 2-Step Tuesday, dance till 11pm club rush “Got Leche” Free entry until 11pm 18 & up - Open until 4am Gilbert’s All you care to eat brunch HIDEAWAY Trivia with Wil 9 pm cockpit DJ Diablo Rojo, guest VJ/DJ’s (cooked to order) 11-4pm and Karaoke JUNGLE We Are Family 9pm eagle DJ Dance Party 6-11:30pm MODEL T Wii Tuesday Afternoons 2pm friends Happy Time Friday Kelly & Ken 6 pm hideaway Atlanta’s Favorite Bloody Mary 9pm $2.50 beer / $3.0 well vodka heretic FUR Friday Bar! 12:30 pm OSCAR’S Show Tune Tuesday with Chadhideaway Kick Back Fridays!

Jungle Harness @bckspce atl behind 8 pm jungle Dinner and a Movie 7 pm; The Jungle (No shirt, No cover) 6pm SWINGING RICHARDS 1/2 Price cover Other Show with Edie Cheezburger 9:30pm lips atlanta lips atlanta Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas las margaritas All You Can Eat til 3pm Style model t Sunday Dinner with Ron 3:30 pm BLAKE’S 5-9pm Doug’s party pop hits, model t Friday Bagels - 10 am | Texas oscar’s Sunday Fun-day Charlie Harding’s Hard Body Party 11 pm Holdem Poker 8 pm ten atlanta Brunch 11am & Music by BURKHART’S Humpday Karaoke w/ oscar’s Music Video Night DJ Rob Reum 4pm Darlene Majewski 11:30pm swinging richards T-Shirt Review,$10 tripp’s Buffet of Goodness - 3 pm | COCKPIT Balls Deep Karaoke 10pm ten atlanta Music & Videos by DJ Karaoke - 7 pm EAGLE Underwear Night with Tony Shane V / DJ Daryl Cox 10pm Friends Hump Night with Regina Simms tripp’s Afternoon Delights 4pm Gilbert’s Karaoke 10pm-2am heretic Pig Dance Black Out Party DJ Stan Jackson 10pm-3am NO COVER 10th & piedmont Live DJ 10 PM hideaway 1/2 Price Beer blake’s Open at 1pm, All NEW show, lips atlanta Bitchy Bingo DragXotic 11 pm model t Party with Elvis - 9 pm BURKHART’S Extravaganza w/ Shavonna

THURSDAY

TUESDAY

SUNDAY

FRIDAY

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SATURDAY

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@DavidAtlantaGA // 63

theRundown Advanced Sexuality Series

Datebook

Thursday, Oct. 24 • 7:30-9 p. m. • Charis (1189 Euclid Ave NE)

Presented by Marla Renee Stewart of Velvet Lips, LLC. Designed to be thought-provoking and sexually-inspiring! For more information, visit charisbooksandmore.com.

Amnesty International USA’s 2013 Southern Regional Conference

Friday, Oct. 25- Sunday, Oct. 27 • 6 p.m. •Courtyard Marriott Decatur (130 Clairemont Ave Decatur)

Join Amnesty International USA’s 2013 Southern Regional Conference in coming together to hear inspiring speakers, participate in informative workshops, make your voice heard in the governance of Amnesty, and network with like-minded activists. For more information, visit amnestyusa.org.

Protect Your Relationship with Legal Documents – Session 1.2

Saturday, Oct. 26 • 11 a. m. - 6 p. m.

• Phillip Rush Center

12th Annual Taste of Atlanta For all you food lovers out there, you’re not going to want to miss Taste of Atlanta, happening Friday, Oct. 25 – Sunday, Oct. 27 at Technology Square (86 5th St). The annual event, now in its twelfth year, brings in over 90 restaurants with samples, along with live chef demonstrations on four different stages. Tickets are available at the event, or you can purchase tickets online for a discounted price. For more information, visit tasteofatlanta.com.

Low-cost legal clinics that will help LGBTQ couples protect their relationships with important and necessary legal documents. For more information, visit atlantapride.com.

Lesbians and Breast Health: Empower Yourself

Saturday, Oct 26 • 7:30-9 p.m. • Charis (1189 Euclid Ave NE)

ZAMI NOBLA (National Organization of Black Lesbians on Aging) invites you to join an evening of fun, facts, and breast self-exams.

Hear lesbian breast cancer warriors tell their stories of survival! All are welcome. For more information, visit charisbooksandmore.com.

Michael Bublé

Sunday, Oct. 27 • 7:30 p.m. • Arena at the Gwinnett Center (6400 Sugarloaf Parkway)

For more information, visit michaelbuble.com.

This Week in Theatres All Is Lost: Screen legend Robert Redford gives one of the most outstanding performances of his career in this story of a man stranded at sea on his own.

African American Women in the News

The Counselor: Author Cormac McCarthy (No Country for Old Men, The Road) makes his screenwriting debut in this film from director Ridley Scott about a respected lawyer’s one-time dabbling with an illegal business deal, which soon spirals out of control.

Gender, Race, and Class in Journalism by Marian Meyers. For more information, visit charisbooksandmore.com.

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa: Johnny Knoxville takes one of his signature characters, Irving Zisman, pairs him up with eight-year-old grandson named Billy, and creates an insane hidden camera film.

Tuesday, Oct 29 •7:30-9 p.m.

•Charis (1189 Euclid Ave NE)

64 // davidatlanta.com

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fairyscopes ARIES (March 20 – April 19): Keep things off the grill

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): Be like a kid

as today promises to be ignitable. You may not even realize how hot things will get until they start bursting into flames.

This could include people’s tempers. There may be more than one reason why they call you a flamer so try not to get on people’s nerves today.

today and run after the ice cream man as he rolls down the block. He may think the sight of an adult chasing him down to be odd. But what he doesn’t understand is that this particular adult has a severe case of Peter Pan Syndrome that only an Eskimo Pie can cure.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Impatience often has

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): Today

you taking impulsive actions. This becomes a problem when you’re hungry, and lunch isn’t for another two hours. Then it’s straight for the vending machine, where you’ll sell your soul to the Doritos devil. Stop the madness today and bring healthy snacks with you.

you’ll be like a bundle of electricity shooting forth impressive electrical impulses in all directions. But everyone has seen this show of drama before, and they’ll consider your bluster just another special effects extravaganza that’s all show and no substance.

GEMINI (May 21- June 20): Today you may find your most recent boyfriend fulfills all your hopes and wishes ...

Only not in the way that you’d like, as you hope he goes away soon and you wish you never met him. It’s ironic how love goes.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): Fun and romance always seems to go together. But fun, romance and the great outdoors is an even better match! Plan a picnic lunch with a special guy for this weekend. Complete the scene with a nice bottle of cabernet. Your romance could blossom even further in the soothing warmth of the sun.

CANCER (June 21- July 22): It could be a good day to

CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Work

lay off the caffeine and slow down a bit. Racing through life doesn’t give you time to savor the many flavors of your day.

But your steady diet of fast food indicates that perhaps your not interested in flavor, or nutrition.

responsibilities could be putting a damper on your social life.

Lunch and dinner now consists of take-out Chinese and microwave popcorn eaten solo in the loneliness of your cubicle.

Bust out and join your friends for dinner tonight! They’ll be so surprised they may even pay for your meal.

LEO (July 23 – August 22): A little thing like burnt

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): You sometimes look back in fondness at the salad days of your bohemian youth. But don’t let nostalgia have you thinking of reverting today. Hemp is not a good fashion look for you and expect to see more than a touch of grey should you decide to grow a ponytail.

popcorn doesn’t keep you from enjoying the movie. You can have a good time anywhere and people love to be around you. Take coworkers out for happy hour beers at a sports pub today and show them how the master has fun.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Little skirmishes with friends could escalate into full-blown catfights today. Some of them may think they can get in your face and shout you down. But what they don’t realize is that you’ve got claws and you’re adept at using them.

72 // davidatlanta.com

PISCES (February 19 – March 19): Beware of people and things masquerading as something they’re not. Just because they call you friend doesn’t mean they actually are. Do your research to expose the truth behind the masks today. You may be shocked at what you might find.

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Needed to organize and help. Basic computer skills needed; good with organization. Willing to pay $300 per week. Interested person.

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Call us at 404.418.8901 x3 for rates & info @DavidAtlantaGA // 73

I

f you’re gonna share the rent, then ya better be ready to have your share of drama! Just when you thought the worst a roommate could do was eat the last can of tuna, pay the rent late, or force you to hear their drunken sexcapades ... think again. This installment of #FavoriteBitch is all about ROOMMATES FROM HELL! If you happen to have one, drop me a message. I’ll be sure to serve them a fierce verbal eviction they’ll never fuckin’ forget!

Dear Miss Tiger, I let my new girl move in and she gave me bedbugs. What should I do?

-Straight Guy Who Needs Your Advice Dear Your Next E-mail Will Be About The Other Bugs She Gave You aka Crabs,

Dear Miss Tiger, My roommate said she can’t find the money to pay me for the three months back rent she owes. What do you think I should do?

Time is of the essence, motha fuckah! Take a break from eating pussy and take yo’ ass to the nearest exterminator!

NEXT! Dear Miss Tiger,

-Nikki I owe my roommate back rent. I’m too ashamed to say how Dear Get Some Masking Tape And A Sharpie Cuz much but shit happens. He has stolen my vintage collection Your Ass Is About To Have A Goddamn Yard Sale, of 36, still in the box and mint condition Cabbage Patch Kids.

He’s threatening to sell them on eBay if I don’t come up with She may not be able to find the back rent ... but she’d sure what I owe. as hell find her shit on the motha fuckin’ sidewalk! NEXT! My dolls are very precious to me. I’m wondering if you could Dear Miss Tiger, loan me $950. Please e-mail and let me know.

My ex and I decided to continue living together after we broke up. We have a big house and agreed that if we ever found new boyfriends, it would be okay if they lived here too.

Well, Toby let his ex move in. The same bi-curious ex that fucked him over. Toby also let that dude bring his girlfriend!

They’re both living here for free. I don’t know what to do and need your advice, Miss Tiger!

-Scott Dear Bitches Got More Roommates & More Drama Than A Drag Queen Got Wigs,

-Larry Dear My Name Is Miss Tiger Not The Motha Fuckin’ Tooth Fairy, I receive a ton of e-mails and just when I think I’ve heard it all, a hot mess like you comes along. Boo, I swipe my ass with Charmin - not an ATM card! Be glad you don’t live with me because all those damn Cabbage Patch Kids would go right back to the orphanage that they came from ... and the $950 would be the only cabbage I’d be worrying about!

Need advice? Write me and get the goddamn answers you’ve been looking for!

Ain’t shit in this life for free ... hell, even an STD comes with a price! Go to your computer, print out a Google map to the nearest shelter and place it, along with all their shit, in a paper bag and send those hoes on their merry way, hunty!

Miss Tiger

For future reference, there are a few things you never do in life: Never reuse the same plate at an all-you-can-eatbuffet and never live with, fuck or loan money to your ex!

Advice columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website FavoriteBitch.com Twitter @MissTiger Advice ask@misstiger.com

74 // davidatlanta.com

Just because you want it bad doesn’t mean you can touch as you please.

I wanna fuck a ginger.

Jealousy is what makes a bitch talk shit.

He’s not your boyfriend bitch, he’s so available.

WithOUT due respect, you’re an ethnicist.

76 // davidatlanta.com

If you fuck someone else, don’t expect me to suck your dick afterwards!

Bitch don’t demand to me why I haven’t told you something, it obviously must not be any of your business.

You got nobody to blame but yourself, so stop pointing that finger.

If you don’t like someone, tell them you’re a superficial b!tch and they aren’t hot enough for your clique.

If you don’t want to be rude...then don’t be. Learn to talk to people and see how much better that works.

If the people at gay pride are a representation of our community, we are in serious trouble. A bunch of trash. I’ve never seen so many waddling big queens and lesbians at gay pride. It is so unhealthy to be so morbidity obese. All your big asses were lined up at the corn dog stand and vodka bar.

Eat a salad. *This page reflects the bitchiness of the community not David Atlanta or its publisher (although we’re bitchy too!)

Hot ’n horny hookups.

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