David Atlanta V. 16 I. 49

12.4.13 V.16 I.49

The Real

Hairdressers of Atlanta

DEREK J • THE TOY PARTY • SARAH SILVERMAN

m o r f e t o r N o t A the Edi 12.4.13 V.16 I.49

STAFF MANAGEMENT David Thompson Publisher | david@davidatlanta.com Elijah Sarkesian Editor in Chief elijah@davidatlanta.com Joe Ragsdale Art Director ragsdale@davidatlanta.com

EDITORIAL Chris Azzopardi Joseph Brownell Christina Dore Dylan S. Goldman Nicholas Grant Matthew Harrell Billy Jones Dylan Michael Tyler Orr Brent Star Miss Tiger

SALES Steve Tyrrell steve@davidatlanta.com

PHOTOGRAPHY Laura Baccus Brian Hughes Sher Pruitt

Remembering Ria

It’s been a sad week for Atlanta’s LGBT community with the loss of Ria Pell. The Atlanta cooking legend, whose talents were displayed nationally just a year ago when she won an episode of Food Network’s Chopped, passed away unexpectedly at the age of 45 on Nov. 24.

Ria was more than just the force behind Ria’s Bluebird, one of the best places for brunch in Atlanta. She was a fierce supporter of Atlanta’s LGBT community. Her involvement in the community included cofounding queer arts festival MondoHomo and DJing occasionally at

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Mary’s. She was also known through tales of her going up against gay-

Dylan Michael dylan@davidatlanta.com

slandering skinheads back in the 80s.

DISTRIBUTION Lateasha Hall

TECH SUPPORT

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DRT Media Group Inc. 404.418.8901 CONTACT Advertising sales@davidatlanta.com Classifieds classifieds@davidatlanta.com Editor / Press Releases press@davidatlanta.com Employment jobs@davidatlanta.com Calendar Listings calendar@davidatlanta.com Bitch Column bitch@davidatlanta.com

I wish I could say I knew Ria well, but I did meet her a few times while working with her wife, Kiki, when Kiki was working here at David Atlanta as our Art Director, and what I took away from my brief interactions with her was a warm, generous and outgoing spirit. Her passing is a tremendous loss to this community, and on behalf of the David Atlanta staff, our thoughts are with Kiki and Ria’s family.

Elijah Sarkesian

NATIONAL AD REP Rivendell Media 908-232-2021

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The content of this Publication is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice. The opinions expressed by any writer, advertiser, or other person appearing in the Magazine are not necessarily those of the Publication, its management or staff. The information and materials appearing in the Magazine are not guaranteed or warranted as to accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness, or suitability of the information and materials found or offered for a particular purpose. It shall be your responsibility to ensure that any products, services, or information available through this Publication meets your specific requirements. The Publication is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, content of information, changes, events, and schedules. The Magazine contains information and material which is owned by or licensed to the Publication, including but not limited to articles, advertisement, design, layout, graphics, and logos. No part or portion of this Publication may be reproduced in any way without the prior written consent of the Publisher. Unauthorized use of this Publication may give rise to claims for damages and or criminal offenses. Your use of the information or materials in the Publication is strictly at your own risk.

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TOC

12.4.13 V.16 I.49

Cover >

The Real Hairdressers of Atlanta

20

Feature > Toy Party Derek J Sarah Silverman

18 28 32

Seen@ > Amsterdam 10 Burkhart’s 38 Jungle 42 LeBuzz 50 Friends on Ponce 54

The Rest > Deep Inside Hollywood 14 Creep of the Week 16 Hear Me Out 48 the Scene 58 Bartab 60 Datebook 62 Kyle’s Bed & Breakfast 64 Crossword 66 Fairyscopes 72 Classifieds 73 Favorite Bitch 74 Bitch, Please!

76

8 // davidatlanta.com

20

18

28

32

10 // davidatlanta.com

In Loving Memory of

Ria Pell March 10, 1968 - november 24, 2013

Owner, Ria’s Bluebird - ‘Chopped’ Champion Thank you for your years of giving to our community.

You will always be remembered.

– David Atlanta

I am a best friend, a blogger, and an advocate.

And I am living with HIV. TM

Mark (right) has lived with HIV since 1985.

Get the facts. Get tested. Get involved. www.cdc.gov/ActAgainstAIDS

By Romeo San Vicente Aly Michalka makes that 2 ½ men + 1 lesbian + her girlfriend

horror story, the premise is that mobile phones are emitting a signal turning people into homicidal maniacs.

John Cusack will play a father searching for his young CBS is getting another prime-time lesbian when it adds son as the world melts down around him and Jackson’s Aly Michalka to the cast of Two and a Half Men. The star character, a gay, ex-military engineer, is the man who of the Disney Channel series Phil of the Future, now all helps Cusack to safety. Production begins in 2014 and, as grown up, will play Amber Tamblyn’s love interest on the of now, there are no reports indicating that Jackson will long-running sitcom. This is great news. More lesbibe required to do drag for the part. If that changes, they ans are always a good thing. But given that Tamblyn’s should really hire on RuPaul as a consultant to help the character is meant to be the kind of no-rules lesbian man get everything tucked in just right and perfect his version of Charlie Sheen’s former self, it’s anyone’s guess ability to lip-sync for his life. as to how long this love interest will remain interesting.

In a perfect world where this show stays on the air for an That new Tim Gunn show may eclipse infinite number of seasons – thanks to an old-fashioned Project Runway Hollywood deal with Satan, or whatever the pagan lesbian equivalent is – the ladies would take over the series It starts in January and it’s called Under the Gunn (no entirely, they’d adopt a baby daughter played by the kind jokes, please, they’re unseemly). It stars Project Runway’s of twins who’d grow up to be entirely self-possessed and resident sane person, Tim Gunn, and it’s going to be a un-ruined like the Olsens, Conchata Ferrell would stay put reality competition featuring charismatic and popular and it would be rebranded as Three and a Half Women.

Runway alumni like Mondo Guerra, Anya Ayoung-Chee Doesn’t hurt to dream. and the ubiquitous Nick Verreos. The premise will involve those designers mentoring new designers and people Samuel L Jackson changes his mind being kicked off the show regularly. And that means a healthy amount of crying and fighting, the real reason you Once upon a time, when asked what he’d never do on watch this sort of thing in the first place. It’s a great idea camera, Samuel L. Jackson said something to the effect and a nice lateral step of independence for Gunn because, of never wanting to dress up like a woman and kiss seriously, when was the last time you watched Project another man. Now, whether or not he believed these two Runway or remember who won? The man may enjoy activities were inextricably linked is a mystery, but what the steady gig as Ms. Klum’s right hand man, but it’s an isn’t mysterious is the actor’s change of perspective. Call excellent idea for him to step out on his own and imprint it the homosexualizing influence of multiple plane-snakes, his own warmth and goodness onto a project he can call call it divine intervention, whatever you like, but Sam his own. Maybe he’ll develop a new catchphrase, too.

Jackson is about to play gay in the big-screen adaptation of Stephen King’s 2006 novel Cell. An end-of-the-world 14 // davidatlanta.com

Chozen wasn’t just somebody’s crazy idea. It’s really going to air.

Tim Gunn

When we last reported on this project, it seemed like it would never see the light of day.

And honestly, you could be forgiven for thinking that Danny McBride (Eastbound & Down) was pulling everyone’s leg when he started developing an animated series about a gay, rapping, ex-convict for FX’s new offshoot channel FXX. But he wasn’t. Chozen, from Grant Dekernion (also Eastbound & Down) along with Adam Reed and Matt Thompson (Archer) and featuring the voices of McBride, Bobby Moynihan (Saturday Night Live), Michael Pena and Method Man, has hurled itself through all those pilot stage hoops and onto the network’s roster, beginning in January. Oh, yeah, and the main character is a big beefy fella, too, one who’s shown posing with men wearing bear masks in the show’s publicity photos. In other words, this thing appears to be courting the more bearded element of its gay audience, a highly loyal subset of men who eat up all media representations of themselves. Good move, Chozen. May you live many seasons and appreciate your enthusiastic fans. Ask Nick Frost about this. He’ll have some helpful advice.

@DavidAtlantaGA // 15

creep

of the week: Thomas John Paprocki

Ha. He said “penetrated.” As far as “twisting the words of the pope,” Paprocki is referring to some recent statements made by Pope Francis that were interpreted by many as pro-gay simply because they were not rabidly anti-gay like the words of the previous Holy See, Pope Ratched. Oops, I mean Pope Benedict.

But Paprocki can stomp his feet all he wants. This “moral obligation” he claims “all politicians” have is clearly not going his way. Instead, Illinois politicians are choosing the moral obligation of equality.

And so Paprocki is doing what anyone throwing a hissy fit about not getting his way does: he’s holding an exorcism.

I am not making this up.

According to a press release from the Catholic Diocese of Springfield, “Bishop Thomas John Paprocki will offer ‘Prayers of Supplication and Exorcism in Reparation for the Sin of Same-Sex Marriage’ at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception … on Wednesday, Nov. 20, from 4 to 5 p.m. Clergy, religious and laity are invited to attend.”

Oooh. I hope there will be cookies and punch afterwards.

By D’Anne Witkowski What a wonderful day for an exorcism!

On Nov. 20 in Springfield, Illinois, Gov. Pat Quinn will sign the bill to legalize marriage for same-sex couples.

But not if the head of the city’s Roman Catholic diocese can help it! Bishop Thomas John Paprocki opposes marriage equality and he knows just the thing to stop this evil scourge: a good ol’ fashioned Linda Blair-style exorcism.

In order to justify the exorcism, the press release continues, “The presence of the Devil and other demons appears and exists not only in the tempting or tormenting of persons, but also in the penetration of things and places in a certain manner by their activity, and in various forms of opposition to and persecution of the church.”

Paprocki can stomp his feet all he wants. This “moral obligation” he claims “all politicians” have is clearly not going his way. Instead, Illinois politicians are choosing the moral obligation of equality.

Yes, while Gov. Quinn is using a pen to turn Illinois into a den of inequity, Bishop Paprocki (not to be confused with Bishop Poprocks, who is in rehab after a Coca Cola binge nearly killed him), will use the power of his imagination to save the I don’t totally understand what all of that means, but I have a pretty good idea what the gay-sex obsessed state from doom. church means by “the penetration of things and places in Paprocki is plenty pissed at Illinois lawmakers, especially the a certain manner by their activity.” And because two guys Catholic ones. or two ladies getting married is clearly the work of Satan, an exorcism is in order.

“It is scandalous that so many Catholic politicians are responsible for enabling the passage of this legislation and If you’re reading this after Nov. 20 and feel sad to have missed the festivities, worry not. Either you were physieven twisting the words of the pope to rationalize their actions despite the clear teaching of the church, Paprocki cally at the exorcism or you’re living in a post-exorcism lamented in a statement. “All politicians now have the moral world where gay marriage has been driven out of this obligation to work for the repeal of this sinful and objection- land and anyone who has a problem with that can go suck able legislation. We must pray for deliverance from this evil cocks in Hell. which has penetrated our state and our church.”

16 // davidatlanta.com

A Toy Party for the Kids in All of Us

BY ELIJAH SARKESIAN

F

ew things are more connected to Christmas than the idea of children opening toys on Christmas morning. For struggling families, though, providing children with a toy at Christmas can be an economic impossibility. That’s where the Toy Party, the annual holiday cocktail party being held this year on Sunday, Dec. 8 from 5–9 p.m., comes in.

The Toy Party, presented by For the Kid in All of Us, brings Atlantans together each year for a festive evening where the price of admission, which includes a toy worth $20 or more, goes to giving children a touch of joy during the holiday season. The number of gifts donated through the Toy Party has outpaced the number of attendees; last year’s event brought out approximately 4,000 people, with over 5,000 toys donated in total.

Since the first Toy Party was held in 2003, this annual event has donated over 38,000 toys to children, along with over $474,000 to various charities. Among the beneficiaries of the annual party: Lost-n-Found Youth, AID Atlanta, CHRIS Kids and Jerusalem House.

Though the event originated as a local house party, the 11th Annual Toy Party finds the event returning once again to the much larger AmericasMart Building 3. DJ Vicki Powell and DJ Sed will keep the party moving with their music, while an array of performance artists, cocktails and hors d’oeuvres will keep attendees entertained throughout the night.

The evening will also include a silent auction featuring over 200 items on the auction block. Among the items up for bid: gift certificates to restaurants, wine baskets, pet supplies, fitness packages, and travel packages to tropical locations – perfect for what’s shaping up to be a colder than usual winter here in Atlanta.

Attendees can also upgrade their experience, starting with the VIP Experience. Reserved for VIP Donors, the VIP Experience includes access to private bars, a Toy Party

18 // davidatlanta.com

keepsake, and premium cocktails and treats. VIP guests also receive parking passes. VIP Experience access is available with a $250 donation to the Toy Party.

Also available is the Ultra Lounge, a sampling of the VIP Experience on the main level. The lounge area includes private tables and dedicated bars, allowing guests to skip the lines for General Admission attendees. The cost of admission to the Ultra Lounge is a $50 donation to the Toy Party; access is included for those who are VIP Donors.

The 11th Annual Toy Party is Sunday, Dec. 8 at AmericasMart Building 3 from 5–9 p.m. General admission is $5 and an unwrapped toy worth $20+. Admission to the Ultra Lounge is $50, while VIP Donor access is $250. For more information, visit forthekid.org.

@DavidAtlantaGA // 19

The Real

Hairdressers

of Atlanta

BY DYL AN MICHAEL

photo: Brian Hughes 20 // davidatlanta.com

Hair: it’s the ultimate accessory.

It can be as wild as you’d like or as conservative as you need. Either way, hair is another form of self-expression.

Whether you’re rocking blue highlights or a sickening ombré, you have your hairdresser to thank. Now, some people might think being a hairdresser is an easy job, but our Real Hairdressers of Atlanta have put in years of honing their craft to make your head look the best it can! We spoke to a few of these amazing “hair artists” about what they like, what they hate to do, and how they unwind after a long day behind the chair!

Timothy Hays Salon Red, Candler Park

How He Got His Start: “My original career path just wasn’t fulfilling anymore; I wanted to do something fun and creative, a job where I could just be me. I literally saw a hair school while I was out one night and thought, ‘I could do that.’ And it turns out I’m really good at it.”

Most Enjoyable Part of the Job: “I really enjoy teaching and passing on knowledge. Whether it’s teaching a class to newer stylists, or showing a salon guest the best and easiest way to deal with her bangs, I love to see the look on their faces when I explain or show a technique to someone, and they get it.”

Biggest On-the-Job Challenge: “Sometimes you have a guest who has really long hair, and she just wants the tiniest bit cut off, and there’s really no way to make that into a really great haircut. Getting a long-haired client to understand that getting a haircut once a year won’t make it healthy-looking or beautiful is really a challenge.”

Greatest Strength as a Hairdresser: “I really take the time to listen to my client so I really understand what they want before I start cutting. I hear tons of horror stories from new clients about how their previous stylist just didn’t listen to them. Listen up, people! It’s the most important part of my job.”

How He Unwinds After a Long Day: “A Kraken spiced rum with Barq’s root beer, and a night of board gaming. My partner and I are proud nerds and enjoy all things geeky, from Star Wars to Doctor Who.” Favorite Hair Trend: “My favorites for men are pompadours and slicked-back styles. I think the idea of adding a part into a man’s hairstyle helps add a certain element of sophistication. My favorite for women is big, bouncy hair, which never goes out of style.”

Least Favorite Hair Trend: “As far as my least favorites go, I’ve never been a big fan of women with curly hair flat ironing all that gorgeous curl out of their hair every day of their life.

Curls are beautiful!”

What Makes His Salon Great: “Salon Red is an upscale salon, but without the stuck-up snootiness you might experience at other high-end salons. I feel like our guests and our employees genuinely enjoy themselves when they are here.

And we don’t judge if you come to your appointment clad in sweatpants.”

Why People Should See Him: “I really care about how my guests feel while they’re here and I also care about teaching my guests how to make their hair look great every day, not just when they walk out of the salon. I guarantee you’ll have fun in my chair and leave with a fantastic haircut.” @DavidAtlantaGA // 21

Conor Sea Steve Hightower Salon

Most Enjoyable Part of the Job: “Getting to know my clients while helping them feel more comfortable in their own skin. I enjoy building their self-esteem by showing them new styles and how to take care of their own hair.”

Biggest On-the-Job Challenge: “My biggest challenge would be being time conscious of clients when they are running late.”

How He Unwinds After a Long Day: “Spending time with my friends, no matter what my day has to offer my friends can always make me sparkle.”

Favorite Hair Trend: “My favorite hair trend would be ombré. Ombré is a great low maintenance way to change up your look using hair color.

Least Favorite Hair Trend: “My least favorite would be the current fashion mullet. It is a “trendy” cut that every single person is rocking. Be an original trendsetter.”

Why People Should See Him: “You should come see me because I have the ability to transform your hair dreams into an amazing reality!”

Chris Williams Helmet Hairworx Midtown

How He Got His Start: “I was always inspired by hair in the music scene and after deciding not to continue pursuing music I picked up a pair of shears.”

Most Enjoyable Part of the Job: “I get to be creative everyday and take care of peoples images. It’s a power trip, but it genuinely brings me happiness when my clients love their hair!”

How He Unwinds After a Long Day: “I like to sit in silence for no less than 30 minutes. Maybe play some cards or own some noobs online [playing] FIFA 14.”

Favorite Hair Trend: “I’m loving the Classic men’s barbered haircuts and fashion right now. I’m a dapper dan man, goddamn it.”

What Makes His Salon Great: “We at Helmet truly want you to love your total experience. Start to finish. There’s a million ways to make eggs they say but a lot of people love mine!”

Why People Should See Him: “I have trained with the best and also train other stylists in cutting. I will never stop until you’re feeling your best.”

22 // davidatlanta.com

Libby Wyatt Salon Red, Decatur

How She Got Her Start: “I went to college to become a high school English teacher, and quickly realized that I would be totally bored in such a conservative role. I started working as a freelance makeup artist, and fell in love with the beauty industry. I enrolled in hair school to broaden my opportunities in the bridal beauty business, but ended up falling in love with cut and color, and the rest is history!”

Most Enjoyable Part of the Job: “Getting a new client and changing the way they see themselves. When someone says to me, ‘I don’t know what I really want, but I’m just bored with my hair,’ I take that as a challenge to make them shine.

I love to try new things on people – cuts and color that they would never imagine asking for – and making them feel better than they ever have about the way they look. When someone feels beautiful and confident, it shifts their lives in such a positive way, and that makes me feel warm and fuzzy.”

Biggest On-the-Job Challenge: “Finding shoes that are cute, but don’t make me feel like a tragic mess after standing for ten hours.”

Greatest Strength as a Hairdresser: “I have a great eye for what cuts and color will bring out someone’s best features. Dimensional color is my specialty and my first love, so I guess that would make haircutting my mistress. I was trained at Bumble & Bumble in New York for razor cutting, so I can rock those effortlessly cool, textured haircuts, too!”

How She Unwinds After a Long Day: “A stiff vodka drink and some herbal remedies at home with my dog and boyfriend are always in order.”

Favorite Hair Trend: “My favorite would definitely be ombré.

This gets some heat as being tired, but I love the challenge of keeping it fresh and blended. It’s a great, low-maintenance way to experiment with color that, if done correctly, can be so gorgeous. A close second would be the closely cropped, longer on top, prohibition-style haircuts on men.

It’s so easy to stay in a box with short men’s haircuts, and this is a great way to keep it professional and super sexy at the same time.”

Least Favorite Hair Trend: “My least favorite would definitely be the fashion mullet. Leave it for Euro-trash and Japanese teenagers, please and thank you.”

What Makes Her Salon Great: “We are very diverse, relaxed and love to have fun. No matter what your style, age, persuasion, etc., you will love us at Salon Red Decatur!”

Why People Should See Her: “I will make you look fabulous while we laugh and have an awesome time together, and you will never, ever be bored with your hair. I believe in changing my clients at least seasonally, even if it’s a slight change.” @DavidAtlantaGA // 23

Toni Middleton Helmet Hairworx

How She Got Her Start: “I started experimenting with my own hair, then I started doing my family and friend’s hair.

I went off to college to appease my parents, soon after I started doing hair around campus. I knew school wasn’t for me and ultimately hair was what I wanted to do. I left college after one year and enrolled in cosmetology school.”

Most Enjoyable Part of the Job: “The most enjoyable part of my job is seeing a client’s face when they love their hair.

Their confidence immediately skyrockets.”

Biggest On-the-Job Challenge: “Staying current. The hair world is ever evolving and as a stylist you have to stay on top of current trends and techniques.”

Greatest Strength as a Hairdresser: “My greatest strength is listening. Clients want to be heard and they want to know that you understand what they want.”

How She Unwinds After a Long Day: “Often, some coworkers and I will go next door to El Taco and grab drinks.”

Why People Should See Her: “I love doing hair and I pride myself on giving clients what they want and that’s amazing hair!”

Craig Smith Bubbles Salon

Most Enjoyable Part of the Job: “I enjoy making people look their best when they feel the worst. Plus, there’s getting to know everybody’s dirt!”

Biggest On-the-Job Challenge: “In a salon, you have different personalities, and sometimes stylists come in and they have a ‘God Complex.’ So I guess the toughest thing would be mixing personalities and figuring out dynamics.”

Greatest Strength as a Hairdresser: “Being a listening ear and a therapist to my clients.”

How He Unwinds After a Long Day: “I enjoy spending a nice evening with the love of my life – I love you Matt! – and a nice glass of wine.”

Favorite Hair Trend: “Big Hair. The bigger, the better, I say!”

Least Favorite Hair Trend: “Bowl Cuts, or as I like to call it, the ‘Dorothy Hamill.’”

Why People Should See Him: “Because you’ll get a great haircut and style at a great price, plus the gossip is the best in the ATL!” 24 // davidatlanta.com

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Derek J:

Style Diva The ‘Real Housewives’ Breakout Talks Roots, Salon Drama, and More

BY DYL AN MICHAEL 28 // davidatlanta.com

I

f you haven’t heard and/or watched The Real Housewives of Atlanta then you are missing OUT on one of the most entertaining shows on Bravo! It features socialites from Atlanta including Nene Leakes, Kim Zolciak, Kandi Burruss and more! Now, while the main cast is all women, there are a few characters in the back that are just as entertaining.

Derek J is one of the recurring cast members on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and he is the epitome of fab-u-lousness! He is always strutting into the party wearing the hottest clothes and the highest heels. He’s also expanding his reality TV reach as part of Fashion Queens.

But he is more than just a stylin’ diva; he is a hair guru. As owner and operator of The J Spot Salon right here in Atlanta, he knows his hair, and I got the chance to sit down and talk to him about his hair styling roots (pun intended), salon drama and some secrets from the new season of Real Housewives!

Hi there! How are you, Miss Thing?

and I’m pay more attention to someone, then girls get funny.

A lot of girls get jealous of attention, so I have to deal with that extra stuff!

One girl is nosey as hell and she is always in everyone’s business, all at one time. And if you ask her what happens, she repeats it back wrong. Those are the dramas in my salon!

(Laughs) Where do you go to get your hair done?

Well, I’m originally from Ohio and I’ve gone to the same barber since high school. When I first moved down here, I couldn’t find anyone to do my hair like he did. So one day, I finally convinced him to move down here. So, he stayed with me for a while until he got on his feet. He initially worked at another barbershop but that closed, so he just moved on over to us!

And he’s been here ever since!

Do you have any hair tips for our readers to help beat Atlanta’s frequent humidity?

I’m fabulous, darling! Thank you for asking! How are you?

I am fabulous, though not as fabulous as you! So you are a hair guru now. But how did you get your start doing hair?

Well, I started doing it because I remember going to my aunt’s house as a child and watching her do hair in her home. And I came to realize that, with women, with a physical change came an emotional change. I’ve seen women come in, having the worst day possible, and my aunt would help them feel beautiful and it changed their whole attitude around. It’s a very powerful thing to experience. I’ve been doing hair for about 13 years now, so I consider myself a veteran. But just because I call myself a “veteran” doesn’t mean I’m old, honey! (Laughs) I’m only 31. But when you use the word “veteran”, people are always like “Ooh child, how old are you? 50?!” (Laughs)

It is a bitch, ain’t it?! Ain’t much you can do but change the weather! (Laughs) For the humidity in Atlanta, I would recommend using Aveda’s Humectant Cream; it’s the business.

Keratin treatments are always amazing. For boys with curly hair I would recommend foam pomade because it will give you curls and a soft hold!

Finally, can you tell us anything about the new season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta?

So we’ve all heard the stereotype that salons are just drama filled. Can you tell us about any drama moments from your own salon?

I can’t tell you anything! We sign big contracts every year with gag orders, which means I can’t tell you anything without getting sued, girl!! All I’m gonna say is that it’s gonna be very interesting, with surprises thrown in here and there.

Trust me. The girls are back, and they’re back at it!

Well, working with a bunch of women, in general, is drama filled; let’s just start with that! (Laughs) My female employees get upset when I say this but my original goal was to have an all-male salon cause I don’t’ want to deal with their shit!

Women are nosey; they’re a lot. They’re emotional, and come with a lot of issues, and a lot of emotions. I’m a very warm and friendly person, so if someone comes in and talks to me

Find more out about Derek J’s salon at jspotsalon.tumblr.com, and be sure to follow him on Twitter @derekjhair!

Do you have a “dream celebrity client” that you would love to get your hands on?

The one person I would love to get a hold of is Lady Gaga.

Ya know, she’s not afraid to push boundaries with her art.

And what I love about her is that she does it beautifully. It’s not clownish, or like she’s trying too hard like some people.

She can have this wild avant-garde hair but still pull it off beautifully.

@DavidAtlantaGA // 29

Low-T or not Low-T: That is the question

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When levels of testosterone below 40%movement of men with–high cholesterol levels will have normal, the brain signals the testicles to Pride. make more. testosterone levels. Additionally, approximately 50% of which to celebrate Black Gay When testosterone levels reach a normal level, the brain men with diabetes and 50% of obese men will have low Research has identified a general group of factors Still, you enjoy thisless. beautiful and engage testosterone. signals theas testicles to make Lack, city or underproin the festivities and remembrances, duction, of testosterone is called hypogonadismbe- asmart attributed to rising rates of HIV/AIDS in the African-American community that include high about yourthatsexual activity.

Historically, medical condition sometimes may require medical Chronic medical conditions (especially liver orakidney treatment.

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Additionally, African-Americans.

Nationally, African-Americans of low testosterone increases from approximately 20% represent 14% of the population, yet according to stigma associated with being a man who has sex of men over age 60, to 30% of men over age 70 and 50% Some 30% of men with HIV and 50% of men with with will men, homosexual/same-gender-loving, the CDC, of men over age 44% 80. of all new HIV infections involved AIDS have low testosterone. Surprisingly, almost bisexual, a substance or having African-Americans. Worldwide, new HIV rates 75% of men with a historyuser, of chronic opioid AIDS is prevalent thetestosterone African-American areisdown 20%, however, Testosterone rates are rising in the use will haveinlow levels. community.

What “testosterone”? is a hormoneAfrican-American required for male development community. and is produced Socio-economic factorslevels related to racism, primarily in the testicles. Testosterone is responsible for What are “normal” ofsexism, Testosterpoverty and overall of access to health care According to the Kaiser Foundation, building muscle, bone mass, spermFamily production, and sex one With lack a simple blood test your total in men? are additional factors. study are male diagnosed HIV fat at testosterone drive.African-Americans Testosterone influences patternwith baldness, level contributing can be determined.

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1000 ng/dl.

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Hispanics, and 10 times higher than Caucasians. tinent information about HIV and a cure for HIV in men? There are both sexual and nonsexual signs is Iavailable but not sharedreplacement? with the disadvanUnfortunately, the with deathlow rate from AIDS is 4 Do and symptoms associated testosterone. need testosterone The taged.is still out. Don’t assume that your symptoms times higherinclude than Hispanics, andfunction, nearly 9 low times verdict Sexual symptoms poor erectile Caucasians. libidohigher (desirethan for sex), weaker and fewer erections, and are caused by Low-T. Other medical conditions such as Initially, it was trueside the knowledge about HIV alcohol and reduced sexual activity. Nonsexual symptoms include thyroid abnormality, effects of medications, its affect on the immune system was sparse, while The only shame in this data is that any one group increased body fat, decreased energy and fatigue, use and abuse, depression, anemia, abnormal cortisol side cancer, effects infections, and complications burdened early is, or ever mass, has been, affected reduced muscle mooddisproportionately changes, changes in sleep, levels, diabetes, hypertension, sleep insomnia, disturbed sleep,no worsening of sleepor apnea, stress,options. heart disease, and endocrine disorders treatment However, research identified

by HIV. However, single person group apnea, worsening offeel congestive failure, and depression. cause doctor we is the HIV as athose virus,“Low-T” and likesymptoms. many viralYour pathogens, should shame. heart Instead, as a community, now can Otherisphysical include decreased strength, to or consult with to determine if you need canperson prevent reduce transmission.

You have the the timechanges for action to reverse this trend.

We can best decreased body hair, swelling or tenderness in breast testosterone replacement. power to make changes going forward. each do our part as individuals. tissue, and changes in cholesterol metabolism.

Be smart. Have fun. Play safe.

Advertorial feature spons Advertorial feature sponso

WhatYour are the first risks task with is totestosterone reThere placement therapy? know your HIV status.

If is still little consensus

other people are not exposed to the gel or solution. chase insurance on the This typically occurs when skin-to-skin is open market,contact and you made with the applicationcannot site. be denied health

over which need testosterone suppleyou patients do not actually have HIV, ments and what levels are considered abnormally low. find a strategy to stay care based on previous Patches: Patches allow testosterone to be abPotential repercussions of replacement therapy include: negative.

Safer sex pracor current health condilowering of sperm production, shrinkage in testicular sorbed by the skin. Patches are applied daily. tices can prevent new tions. size, mood swings, oily skin, HIV infections.

Injections: Testosterone “bacne” (acne outbreaksEach on of Talk to friends, family, the back), and shots, usually in the upper butus water has retention, the strength coworkers, possible exacerbation of prostate tock, are typicallyand givenneighevery within to negotiate sexbors by your about HIV. cancerual and practices an increase that in prostate 1-2 weeks doctor. are Visit our booth at Black Gay Pride 2013 Educate them that HIV hypertrophy. reasonable. If you carry for more information about HIV/AIDS Buccal Tablet: In your infection is preventable. the start HIVtaking virus, early Once you testosmouth, the tabletdoes is applied to prevention and treatment.

If infection occur, and monitorterone,detection it’s very difficult to stop the gum, where the virus is testosterone manageable,is ing reduce the risk because thecan body accommodates absorbed over a 12-hour period. even though there is no for theofextra hormoneAIDS and slows developing and dying from AIDS-related cure.

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HIV replication But thepresses fact is, replacement ther-that, in turn, lowers the obtain access to health care test for other STIs, viralinload.

A lowerThere’s viral load viruses Dehydroepiandrosterone and start and continue the (DHEA): discussionAabout the apy is still its infancy. still means a lot wefewer don’t know supplement about short term replacement.

It isto of realities the hormonal precursors to testosterone. are inand thelong blood andtestosterone fewer viruses are available of HIV. In doing so, you will alter the important to new look sexual at the CAUSES of low testosterone, infect partners. Research has shown course and perception of HIV in your community, rather that thanHIV merely replacing whatcan thedecrease body is lacking. these treatmentasoptions can help men with andofthe community a whole. treatment alone new infec- Each Low T achieve adequate levels of hormone replacetions by approximately 50% in the general If you go on testosterone replacement, you need to be ment. your doctor decide if testosterone To Only locate HIV cantesting centers call population, and by 33% inscreening, those considered extra vigilant in prostate-cancer screening high replacement therapy is right you.

1.800.CDC.INFO or visit for WWW.HIVTEST.ORG. risk. enlargement, Research has also demonstrated for prostate screening for enlargementthat or in Too, I am proud to tell you that Pride Medical those with undetectable risk increased production of red blood viral cells, loads, and youthe need to of So… Low-T or not Low-T? Only your doctor can offers free, anonymous HIV testing throughout monitor your testosterone levels while on replacement. transmission is reduced dramatically.

Knowing decide if you have Low-T or not. Consult your doctor. the year. and managing your status can positively affect Testosterone replacement therapy accepted as apyour individual health andis the overall health of propriate medical treatment (if there are no contrainour community. dications) for hypogonadism, a clearly defined medical condition.

Next, gain access to health care and be tested for

other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Other STIs damage tissue that allows HIV easy low testosterone, you and your healthcare provider have intochoices the body, thereby increasing severalentry different of testosterone formulationsrisk andof infection.

Your health care provider (HCP) can applications.

These include: do this testing. If you do not have a HCP, many Gels and solutions: gels and solu- do community clinics Testosterone and health departments tions are applied Theattestosterone in theIfgel testing free ofdaily. cost or a reduced rate. youordo solution is absorbed into the body through the skin. not have health insurance, starting October 2013, They provide continuous delivery of testosterone the Affordable Care Act allows individuals to purthroughout the day. It’s important to make sure that

How is Low Testosterone Treated? To treat

sored by Pride Medical, Inc. ored by Pride Medical, Inc.

404.355.3788 | www.PrideMedical.com Rodney Fox is an Adult Nurse Practitioner (ANP) with Pride Medical, Inc. He is a certified HIV specialist, recently

Dr. David Morris

completed his doctoral degree (PhD)

is the Medical Director at Pride Medical Inc. in nursing, and is accepting new

patients. Always consult your health-

Dr. Jason Nash care provider

for specific advice or

is the Directortreatment. of the in-house Pharmacy at www.PrideMedical.com Pride Medical Inc.

Funny

Girl Sarah Silverman Talks HBO Special, Miley and Gay Jokes

BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

photo: Janet Van Ham 32 // davidatlanta.com

There’s nothing too taboo for Sarah Silverman. Not AIDS, not poop.

And your style of satirical comedy, where you make fun of just about every group of people, seems to have the ability to unite people. When you look out at your audiences, do you feel that way too?

And in her 20-year career – which began in 1993 with a spot on Saturday Night Live, and then led to a hit comedy special, Jesus is Magic, and her own sitcom, The Sarah Silverman Program – the comedian has established herself as one of the ballsiest voices of our time.

Aww, yeah. Half of it is the energy in the room. It’s like sometimes you listen to Howard Stern and you might think he sounds like he’s being really mean, but if you’re in the studio and you saw the mischievous smile on his face, it’s a totally different thing going on.

With an all-new HBO special, We Are Miracles, Silverman caught up with us to talk about crushing on Patti LuPone, being “older and wiser and dumber” and the meaning of life.

What’s your special ritual before you hit the stage?

I saw a children’s book the other day called “Why Dogs Eat Poop.” Guess who it reminded me of?

Aww, was it me?

Of course it was you.

I knew it was either gonna be me or Helen Mirren.

Your comedy special, We Are Miracles, sounds very inspiring.

Will we be inspired?

Yeah, I hope that you’ll leave that show completely changed. Just kidding. I mean, maybe a little bit. But probably not.

I write out a set list and yell at myself for waiting to the last minute. And I have a sugar-free Red Bull.

No sugar?

“Well, what is a gay joke?

Where, like, homosexuality is the joke? Is the punchline?

I don’t see that a lot right now. That’s in an ugly past.

Hopefully perceptions are finally changing with these fucking idiots.”

No. There are drugs they put in it. Whatever it is. It’s the “limitless” pill. Oh god, I want the limitless pill so bad.

Have you ever felt badly or regretted a joke you made?

Yeah, I never wanna make anyone feel bad, but I also know that’s not possible.

Everyone who watches comedy, they’re watching in the context of their own life experience, so you don’t know what’s gonna catch someone.

What can you say about the special?

All I can say is that the special is mind-blowing and lifechanging for the viewer. It’s just a really honest reflection – either literally or figuratively – of where I’m at right now, just in my life. Not that it’s autobiographical at all – it’s still lies – but it’s just what I’m into now. Like, I’m older and wiser and dumber.

It’s different than my first special. It doesn’t digress into other videos or things. There’s a scene at the beginning and at the end but besides that it’s just the live performance. It’s just the standup special with a teeny-tiny audience – just 39 people.

Tell me there will be poop jokes.

Why of course, baby! There’s at least one.

You attract all sorts of people.

It’s so weird that I have such a random and eclectic demographic, like the old, the young, the gay, the gayer.

Just recently the tables were turned and you were hurt by some age jokes during The Roast of James Franco on Comedy Central.

I wanna be so protective of the rules of the roast, which is that there are none and that anything goes – and I protect that. I would never want to change anything that was said. It just was separate from the roast, and I said brutal things – that’s just how it is. But it’s separate from that. It just illuminated things for me in my life, and you’re right – it is just like that. In the context of my life, that stuck. It’s like, I had feelings! But I still loved it. And I feel like I’m better for it because it forced me to deal with stuff. You know, Jonah (Hill) said the same thing. He said, “Everything that is my biggest fear in life was said tonight and I lived through it,” so there’s something cathartic about it as well.

Did it make you rethink your approach to comedy and how something you say could offend someone, as well? @DavidAtlantaGA // 33

No, no, no. First of all, I don’t talk about specific people in Is “Roar” your pre-show pump up song? general. I mean, not as a rule, but I don’t tend to in my stand-up.

Roast is a very specific thing.

(Laughs) Honestly, for a while, it was.

You push buttons, though. When does a gay joke become offensive?

Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana?

Miley Cyrus. I mean, I love “The Climb” and “Party in the Well, what is a gay joke? Where, like, homosexuality is the joke? U.S.A.,” but I’m interested in what she’s doing now. She’s Is the punchline? I don’t see that a lot right now. That’s in an expressing herself. She’s got the right to express herself. She’s ugly past. Hopefully perceptions are finally changing with these 20 or something. It’ll be interesting to see where it leads. fucking idiots.

Eminem or Coolio?

How much thought goes into what you wear onstage?

No Doubt.

Very little. I find an outfit I feel comfortable in – or that I did well in (laughs) – and I just wear it until I have to wash it. I’m just kidding. I do laundry.

What’s the meaning of life?

You do your own laundry?

Any last words?

I do, actually. I’m in a building, so I don’t even have my own washer and dryer. There’s just one for every floor.

It’s me ... and people’s maids.

No.

I don’t know, but it involves Nerds Rope.

If comedy didn’t exist, what would you be doing with your life?

I’d work with chimps and apes and monkeys – be a Dian Fossey type. I mean, I’d want to, like, always be by a really nice bathroom. So, close to Dian Fossey but with a nice place to stay.

You’ll soon star alongside Patti LuPone on HBO’s People in New Jersey, which is being produced by Lorne Michaels.

Oh my god! I don’t even know what to say about Patti LuPone. She’s everything you could dream of and so much more. I knew I was a huge fan. I knew I was excited. But she is the most awesome.

She is so cool, she’s so funny and her improv skills are crazy. I mean, I couldn’t keep it together. She’s the coolest. I think I have a crush on her.

And she’s gonna be your mother. How does it feel living the dream of every gay man on earth?

It feels so right.

OK, the lightning round.

Holy shit.

Lady Gaga or Katy Perry?

Katy Perry. I just like “Firework.” I love that song.

So good. And “Roar” – I like “Roar,” too! I love any kind of anthemic music.

34 // davidatlanta.com

photo: Robyn von Swank

38 // davidatlanta.com

Bubbles Salon

Cuts, Colors & Highlights Men’s Haircut $20 Women’s Haircut $30 & Up

1579 Monroe Drive Atlanta, GA 30324 bubblesatlanta.com 404.876.7745

As the holiday season approaches, the staff and I wanted to thank you for another great year. We look forward to serving you and our new clients in the coming new year.

Wishing you a safe and healthy holiday and a fabulous New Year,

George

42 // davidatlanta.com

opardi z z A is r h C By LADY GAGA, ARTPOP

ARCADE FIRE, Reflektor

So much for that high-concept, post-modern ingenuity that ARTPOP promised even before Lady Gaga hawked it as the album of not the year, not the decade, but of the millennium. This isn’t that album. Not even close. Not when it comes to the innovativeness it touted, anyway. If this is art, so is “Poker Face.”

And so is dressing up in a frock made of dead cow. This is Gaga to the extreme; everything is done with more cartoonish flamboyancy, and – if it’s even possible at this point – exaggerated to the fullest. But while Born This Way was at least, despite its exhausting preachiness, an evolution that demonstrated sophisticated vanguard where self-importance at least felt musically validated, this takes three steps back. Neither as clever nor avant-garde as it thinks it is, ARTPOP is a straightforward, ’80s-fashioned electro-pop piece that, with a satirical edge, riffs on fame, drugs and other vapidness – the very themes of queen Gaga before she led her misunderstood Monsters down the road to empowerment. With B-52s camp, “Donatella” and “Fashion!” fit the homo bill, and they’re both amusing… if you too were amused by the unintentional awesomeness of Showgirls. Part horror show, part whore show, ARTPOP is gaudy (see “Swine,” where this meat obsession of hers translates into metaphor), but it’s hard to turn away from something that tries so hard to be tacky and messy and just so…weird. Even an R. Kelly cameo, on “Do What U Want,” seems out there – and then it all comes together pretty perfectly. But it’s “Dope,” a rollicking power ballad that endears, and the smashing Springsteenian “Gypsy” that our Mother Monster should keep in mind next time she tries to hustle pop music as high art.

Not long into Arcade Fire’s 80-minute epic of rhythmic mythology – where themes of rebirth thrive amidst the usual sociopolitical go-tos – is an empowering statement of visibility that can’t help but be heard as a queer affirmation. With frontman Win Butler championing the oppressed, the song is called “We Exist,” but it’s not the only one that’s outcast-minded: David Bowie vibes pipe through the garage-rockery of outsider anthem “Normal Person,” a challenge to societal conformity.

But the Montreal troupe doesn’t just tackle the bigger picture; they look inward and tear down their own conventions – their own “normal.” Reflektor breaks the band’s rules, abandoning the Neil Young-inspired ’70s sounds of The Suburbs, their Grammy-winning LP and last release, for an adventuresome, dance-inspired work that radically shifts from quintessential Arcade Fire. With former LCD Soundsystem frontman James Murphy on board as producer, Reflektor breaks into the dance-punk that is Murphy’s forte, winding up somewhere in the realm of the band’s older “Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains),” an electro triumph. Here, a frantic parade of noise simmers into a charged punk anthem on the defiant “Joan of Arc,” disco-era strings line the slow-burn of “Porno,” and “Afterlife” – with Butler and wife Régine Chassagne’s poignant exchanges, also heard on the transcendent standout “It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus)” – is a euphoric jaunt of survival on the album’s back, and better, half.

Grade: B-

Grade: B+

48 // davidatlanta.com

ALSO OUT

MASON JENNINGS, Always Been There’s always been a refreshing lack of sentimentality to Mason Jennings’ sweetness. On the Minneapolis folkie’s 10th album, he again avoids Hallmark triteness despite delivering songs that are among some of his most sensitive – and also, his best. “Patti and Robert” is a powerful portrait of love inspired by the punk poet’s relationship to Robert Mapplethorpe, and “Dreaming” evokes the simple-but-tenderhearted classics of the ’60s. Less melancholic than his usual sad-man sounds, this is Jennings’ most consistently melodic release. He should be happy more often.

AVRIL LAVIGNE, Avril Lavigne Avril Lavigne can’t quite figure out if she’s ready to grow up.

After a modest expression of adult-ish emotions on 2011’s Goodbye Lullaby, it’s back to being the badass. Before the album’s chanty single, “Here’s to Never Growing Up,” the feisty Canadian pop-rocker, at nearly 30, is all teen-rebel boasts on “Rock N Roll.” Both songs don’t do anything to advance Avril’s artistic image, but they’re nowhere as excruciating as the big, ugly ballad featuring Nickelback frontman/ husband Chad Kroeger, “Let Me Go”…or just about anything else during the rest of this identity crisis. @DavidAtlantaGA // 49

50 // davidatlanta.com

54 // davidatlanta.com

STAY UP TO DATE WITH OUR YEAR-ROUND PROGRAMMING AND PLANS FOR THE NEXT FESTIVAL ON OUR WEBSITE AND OUR OFFICIAL MOBILE APPLICATION (AVAILABLE FOR IOS AND ANDROID).

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theScene 1

10th & Piedmont 991 Piedmont Ave. NE

14 Cowtippers

27 Jungle

40 The Model T

2

Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. NE

15 Daiquiri Factory

28 Las Margaritas

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Atlanta Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE

16 Einstein's

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42 Urban Body Fitness

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Bliss 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd.

19 Flex Spa

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Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Ave. NE

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21 Gatsby's

34 Sam's Hair Salon

Le Buzz 585 Franklin Rd. SE Marietta, GA

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Bubbles Salon 1579 Monroe Dr. NE

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Mary's 1287 Glenwood Ave. SE

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My Sister's Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE

11 Burkhart's

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Club Rush 2715 Buford Hwy. NE

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Sister Louisa’s Church 466 Edgewood Ave. SE

13 Club Eros

26 Joe's on Juniper

39 The Hideaway

Swinging Richard's 1400 Northside Dr. NW

893 Peachtree St. NE 1492 Piedmont Ave. NE 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 2219 Faulkner Rd. NE

1600 Piedmont Ave. NE 889 W. Peachtree Str. NW 1077 Juniper St. NE 931 Monroe Cir. NE 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 76 4th St. NW

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Bar/Cocktails

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58 // davidatlanta.com

Monroe Dr. NE

42 2 Amsterdam Ave.

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@DavidAtlantaGA // 59

Bartab

MONDAY

BLAKE’S Trivia at 11. $$$ prizes BURKHART’S Blue Monday Karaoke with Angelica D’Paige at 10PM COCKPIT Big Red Cup All Day, specials EAGLE Music Videos with Scotty FELIX’S Free Pool FRIENDS Manic Mondays DJ opens - 2 pm HERETIC Jukebox drag with Knomie Moore HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm MODEL T Monday Night Madness Free Pool - 10pm - 2am OSCAR’S Service Industry Night with Eric swinging richards Hip-Hop Night, Sponsored by Hennessy 8:30pm ten atlanta Texas Hold’em Poker 7pm TRIPP’S Monday Nite Madness w/ Tana 9pm

TUESDAY

BLAKE’S POP! Karaoke w/ Sasie Monroe 11pm BURKHART’S Absolut Talent with Ruby Redd at 10PM club rush “Tipsy Tuesday” 18 & up Open until 4am COCKPIT 80s Party 9pm, specials 5-8pm EAGLE Tuesdays w/ Tony FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night FRIENDS Let’s Make A Deal with Ken 6 pm Gilbert’s Industry Night (complementary pizza after 10pm) HERETIC 2-Step Tuesday, dance till 11pm HIDEAWAY Trivia with Wil 9 pm JUNGLE We Are Family 9pm MODEL T Wii Tuesday Afternoons 2pm 9pm $2.50 beer / $3.0 well vodka OSCAR’S Show Tune Tuesday with Chad8 pm SWINGING RICHARDS 1/2 Price cover

WEDNESDAY

BLAKE’S 5-9pm Doug’s party pop hits, Charlie Harding’s Hard Body Party 11 pm | “American Horror Story” 10 pm BURKHART’S Humpday Karaoke with Darlene Majewski at 10PM COCKPIT Balls Deep Karaoke 10pm EAGLE Underwear Night with Tony Friends Hump Night with Regina Simms Gilbert’s Karaoke 10pm-2am heretic Pig Dance Black Out Party DJ Stan Jackson 10pm-3am NO COVER hideaway 1/2 Price Beer lips atlanta Bitchy Bingo model t Party with Elvis - 9 pm oscar’s Ruby Redd’s After Party - 10 pm swinging richards 2-4-1 VIP Room tripp’s Free Taco Bar 5pm 60 // davidatlanta.com

got an upcoming event? calendar@davidatlanta.com

xcess ultra lounge Raquell Lord’s Talent Show 10:30pm, Sophia Mcintosh & Fab 5 +1 11:30pm, 18+

felix’s Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm friends Free Pool and Cheap beer with DJ! 2 pm - 6 pm Gilbert’s All you care to eat brunch (cooked to order) 11-4pm heretic Varies: Club Night or 3 Legged blake’s Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, “Guys Cowboy Night - 10pm & Dolls” with Shawnna Brooks. 11pm hideaway Open at 12:30pm! Saturday BURKHART’S Dancefloor Divas with Night Party Phoenix at 11:30PM jungle Ruby’s Redd Light District 9pm; cockpit Dirty Boy Bingo w/ Ruby Redd Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s eagle Balls Deep Karaoke w/ Mikey lips atlanta Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas felix’s Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm Style friends Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet model t Texas Holdem Poker - 3 pm | Girls with Regina Simms 8-closing Party with the M&M Boiz - 9 pm Gilbert’s Wine tasting 6-10pm oscar’s DJ Christopher Kind heretic 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm swinging richards T-Shirt Review $10 hideaway Service Industry Night ten atlanta Music & Videos by DJ Rob jungle Crazy Bitch Bingo 8pm Reum 10pm lips atlanta Dinner with the Divas tripp’s Afternoon Cookout 3pm model t Party Time with Michael - 9 pm xcess ultra lounge 25+ FREE til 12am oscar’s Twisted Thursday with Eric swinging richards 2-4-1 VIP & Entry ten atlanta Thursday Night Live! All Request w/ DJ Daryl Cox 10pm 10th & piedmont Bellini Brunch 11 AM xcess ultra lounge Turnt Up Thursday & T-Dance 4 PM blake’s Open at 1pm - High Energy Music & Video w/ Bill Berdeaux & Daryl Cox BURKHART’S The Armorettes at 9PM 10th & piedmont Live DJ 10 PM club rush Hip Hop and R&B - 18 & up blake’s 5-9pm TGIF, Charlie’s Angels w/ Open until 4am Charlie Harding 11pm cockpit PBR Beer Bust BURKHART’S Femme Fatale with Destiny felix’s Bloody Marys & Mimosas Brooks and Justice Taylor at 11PM friends Open @ 2pm; Dinner @ 4pm club rush “Got Leche” Free entry until while it lasts 11pm 18 & up - Open until 4am Gilbert’s All you care to eat brunch cockpit DJ Diablo Rojo, guest VJ/DJ’s (cooked to order) 11-4pm and Karaoke eagle DJ Dance Party 6-11:30pm friends Happy Time Friday Kelly & Ken 6 pm hideaway Atlanta’s Favorite Bloody Mary heretic FUR Friday Bar! 12:30 pm hideaway Kick Back Fridays!

Jungle Harness @bckspce atl behind jungle Dinner and a Movie 7 pm; The Jungle (No shirt, No cover) 6pm Other Show with Edie Cheezburger 9:30pm lips atlanta lips atlanta Glitz & Glamour Las Vegas las margaritas All You Can Eat til 3pm Style model t Sunday Dinner with Ron 3:30 pm model t Friday Bagels - 10 am | Texas oscar’s Sunday Fun-day Holdem Poker 8 pm ten atlanta Brunch 11am & Music by oscar’s Music Video Night DJ Rob Reum 4pm swinging richards T-Shirt Review,$10 tripp’s Buffet of Goodness - 3 pm | ten atlanta Music & Videos by DJ Karaoke - 7 pm Shane V / DJ Daryl Cox 10pm tripp’s Afternoon Delights 4pm

THURSDAY

SUNDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

10th & piedmont Live DJ 10 PM blake’s Open at 1pm, All NEW Show, DragXotic with Necole Luv Dupree at 11p BURKHART’S Synergy with Shawnna Brooks at 11PM cockpit DJ Diablo Rojo, guest VJ/DJ’s eagle DJ Dance Party

theRundown Women’s Health at the Intersection: Race, Social Position, and Class

Thursday, Dec. 5 • 5:30 p.m. • Emory University (201 Dowman Dr) Featuring Dr. Valerie Montgomery Rice, incoming President of Morehouse School of Medicine. For more information, visit womenscenter.emory.edu.

RAW Artists Atlanta Presents RAWards Semi-Finals

Thursday, Dec. 5 • 7:30 p.m. • Terminal West (887 W Marietta St NW, Studio C) RAW is a natural born artists is an independent arts organization, for artists, by artists join them as they present their semi finalists.

For more information, visit rawartists.org.

Carolina Chocolate Drops

Friday, Dec. 6 • 8:30 p.m. • Variety Playhouse (1099 Euclid Ave) Carolina chocolate drops in Atlanta. See the folk band live. For more information, visit variety-playhouse.com.

Datebook Power 96.1 Jingle Ball 2013 Radio stations around the country throw massive concerts in December with eclectic lineups, and this year, Atlanta’s Power 96.1 has a couple of the year’s biggest names.

Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus are the big acts for this year’s Jingle Ball 2013, which also includes Pitbull, Flo Rida, Travie McCoy, Fifth Harmony, Armin Van Buuren and Atlanta Pride headliner Bonnie McKee. The event starts Wednesday, Dec. 11 at 7:30 p.m. at Philips Arena. For more information, visit power961.com.

Taproot

Saturday, Dec. 7 • 7 p.m. • The Masquerade (695 North Ave NE)

The rock band bring their tour to Atlanta. For more information, visit taprootmusic.com.

Bears Holiday Party

Saturday, Dec. 7 • 7 p.m. • Phillip Rush Center (1530 Dekalb Ave, Suite A) For more information, visit atlantagaycities. com.

10th Annual Celebrity Wine Tasting and Live Auction

Sunday, Dec. 8 • 3 p.m. • Frank Ski’s Restaurant and Lounge (2110 Peachtree Rd) The Frank Ski Kids Foundation benefits from this event, hosted by Ludacris. For more information, visit frankskikids.org.

Nth Power

Sunday, Dec. 8 • 3 p.m. • Center Stage Vinyl (1374 West Peachtree St) The Nth Power will grab your attention & imagination, with their hybrid brand of Funk, Psychedelic Rock, Jazz, Neo-Soul, WorldBeat and R&B. For more information, visit centerstage-atlanta.com.

62 // davidatlanta.com

This Week in Theatres Out of the Furnace: Christian Bale stars as a man who becomes a vigilante – this sounds a little familiar – when his veteran brother (Casey Affleck) gets caught up in a vicious crime ring.

The Armstrong Lie: What started out in 2009 as a documentary chronicling Lance Armstrong’s return to cycling ended up becoming this film, a scathing indictment of both Armstrong and the sports culture surrounding him.

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@DavidAtlantaGA // 63

64 // davidatlanta.com

Answers on pg. 70

The Big Mermaid

Down

Across 1 Lance, once of *NSYNC 5 Impotence confession 10 Mush 14 Madeline of Young Frankenstein 15 Jewish scripture 16 “___ that dares not speak its name” 17 Where a cobbler puts the tongue 18 Blow job, when you’re not in the mood 19 Tributes in verse 20 He did a spoof on the horrors of ENDA 23 Where Patty Sheehan putts it 24 Tricks 25 Lands in the lake 27 Worker at the bottom 29 Sticky-tongued critters 30 With 38-Across, one of the horrors of ENDA 35 Born Free lioness 66 // davidatlanta.com

36 Subject to random chance 37 Prefix with peein’?

38 See 30-Across 40 Enjoyed a cologne queen, old-style 41 The color purple and more 42 There are a lot in a lot 43 Tool of Emma Stebbins 47 “Faboo!”

48 Word in the spoof for a mermaid that can’t be fired because of ENDA 52 Bite it 53 Rifles 54 Lincoln-Douglas debates subject Scott 56 Hit on the head 57 You must remember this 58 Morales of NYPD Blue 59 Spanking spot 60 Aden is its capital 61 Feudal slave

1 Library inventory (abbr.)

2 Sounds of “Baby, that was good!”

3 One that holds your belt in a gay bar 4 Showed disdain for 5 Has a seven-year problem with Marilyn?

6 “Suzanne” composer Leonard 7 Middle name of “Viva, Las Vegas” singer 8 Undercover crack investigator, perhaps 9 Field for Jane Spahr 10 Shakespeare’s theatre 11 Mine bonanzas 12 In-your-face 13 Italian sauce 21 Engages in foreplay 22 Dotterman’s Antonia’s ____ 25 Caesar’s way 26 Foot fetish target

27 Summer fruits 28 “Horny” animals 30 Personal lubricant ingredient 31 Roundworms 32 Lovers have intercourse in this 33 Gardner of mystery 34 Goes to seed 36 Dirty dealing 39 Mother of Poseidon 40 Hit boxers 42 Incites to attack 43 Steadying wedge 44 Marsh wader 45 Cara of Fame fame 46 What the boastful blow 47 “Try someone else” 49 Opening 50 Come and go 51 Cause of the Tin Woodsman’s rust 55 “What’s the ___?”

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70 // davidatlanta.com

fairyscopes ARIES (March 20 – April 19): You’re so fast-paced

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): No one picks a

that you usually leave the little details for someone else, because you’ve got bigger fish to fry. Well, today they’ve left them for you, and the frustration has you whining like a tenyear-old. Let this be a lesson to you as you acutely feel the pain of others. Oh, and while you’re at it, deal with it.

nit like you, and you would probably find fault in heaven. Your partner is getting fed up with the constant criticism of things. For instance, who cares if he breathes through his mouth, listens to (and enjoys) Lady Gaga and snacks on peanut butter and mustard sandwiches?

Turn your eye on yourself today if you really want to see some quirks.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Getting through a stormy

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): You can

patch in your courtship might demand diplomacy today. Whatever happened to the fun of romance? You can recapture the good times by remembering what brought you two together in the first place. Those first moments of intimacy are magical, even without all that vodka. Retreat to the bedroom, and recreate the magic.

debate with the best of them, and you’d be right at home at a congressional filibuster. You’ve been known to start arguments because you know you always win. But one such recent exchange got more heated than you expected. Apologize to the guy you offended today, and in the future, don’t be so eager to go on the attack.

GEMINI (May 21- June 20): You may be discovering that your latest boyfriend is quite the busybody. He knows everything about everybody, and is more than willing to dish the dirt. Today may be a good day to change your e-mail password, and hide anything personal you don’t want shared with the world. Better yet, give Mr. Buttinsky a kick in the butt, right out the door.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): The people around you will have you pulling out your hair. It may be a good day to seek an infusion of positive spirit. Yoga’s always good for that.

If you’re not already involved, plan to learn. If you are, take in a class today. The merger of mind and body will be liberating, and that cute guy in class might be able to give new meaning to downward dog.

CANCER (June 21- July 22): Repeated attempts to

CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Today’s

cook for your man have resulted in repeated visits by the fire department. Maybe that banana flambe is out of your area of expertise. Don’t give up, but try a different tact today. Pizza over candlelight can be just as romantic. Then again, maybe the candles aren’t such a good idea.

a good one to make plans other than what to have for lunch, or which reality show to watch. Think far-reaching plans, especially those that could affect your current career. Think smart, and you could soon be working a job that doesn’t involve wearing a paper hat shaped like a pineapple.

LEO (July 23 – August 22): ‘Drinks on me!’ ‘Pick any-

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): You never know what you might find just beneath the surface. It could be treasures of untold riches, or a swirling cesspool of filth. It could go either way today, and it may be wise to watch who you delve the depths with. Despite their benevolent outward appearances, they could suddenly morph into a disgusting swamp thing.

thing on the menu. It’s on me!’ Sound like somebody you know?

All that generosity may be catching up to you today. Time to be frugal, and get yourself on a budget. This may go strictly against your giving personality, but it’s either that, or become the pet of the many creditors who will soon be knocking on your door.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): Your mind is feeling as murky as Jessica Simpson’s career prospects. Today, watch for the clouds to part and the sun to shine, and you will be able to see that city view you pay $4000 a month for. Use this day of clarity to get new projects off the ground. Just when you think things stop making sense, suddenly they do.

72 // davidatlanta.com

PISCES (February 19 – March 19): Your opportunity to date someone you like has finally arrived, and now you’re weighing the pros and cons. You’re a firm believer in analyzing a situation, but sizing him up could have him drifting away. Take off the thinking cap today, and make it up as you go along. Throw caution to the wind and get rid of any preconceived notions.

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T

his is the time of year when we hit the streets and simply wear out our Gucci loafers and Versace pumps - to the point where they could pass for a fuckin’ Payless collection! And when I say hit the streets, I’m not just referring to the streetwalkers on Cypress Street near Peachtree Street. I’m talking to those of you traveling during the holidays, those trekking all over the mall and fighting with the patrons & staff ... and of course, you boys and girls who travel across town for that holiday hot toddy aka booty call. You know who you are; especially those suffering from the holiday blues, who go and fuck every ex they ever had! In honor of all this foot traffic, this week’s installment of Favorite Bitch is all about hoes on the go! And go they did. All over the trains, streets and cabs!

Dear Miss Tiger, I suck a lot of cock on a regular basis. When my friends ask me how much dick I’ve had, I quote a line from a song that says, “I’ve had a few but not too many.” How does a girl remain a hoe and keep it a secret so she can walk down the streets with dignity?

-Tina Dear Tina is Your Name AND What You’ve Been Smoking, I highly doubt you walk the streets with dignity ... more like hand-in-hand with your pimp! Now it’s my turn to quote a line from a song, “Just Beat It!” NEXT!

Dear Miss Tiger, Dear Miss Tiger, I take the train to work each morning. I sit in the same seat every day. I stare at the same gentleman passenger all the time. He’s over six feet tall and has these incredibly large, sexy feet. How do I ask him out while we’re riding the train without feeling embarrassed?

I was on vacation in New York City. I got in a cab and the driver literally turned around and asked me if he could suck my dick! Should I report him to the mayor?

-Curtis

-Trent Dear Feed The Meter, Dear Train Wreck, The answer is simple: The same way you ask a Grindr hook-up for a real date while riding his damn dick ... YOU JUST DO IT!

Hell, what the fuck are you bitchin’ about? You should’ve busted a nut down that motha fuckah’s throat. The money you saved on cab fare would’ve covered at least two or more trips to Starbucks!

Boo, you’re on public transportation for God’s sake! You’re really worried about being a little embarrassed? Motha fuckahs are puking, adults are talking to imaginary friends, folks are having bipolar moments and domestic disputes run amok. You ain’t got shit to worry about.

By the way, do you really think that bitchin’ to the mayor’s office is gonna get you anywhere? Bitches are gettin’ run over by busses and trains ... and still waiting to be heard.

You really think the mayor gives a shit about some perverted troll going the extra mile to provide customer service?

P.S.

Miss Tiger

I get this feeling you’re a bit of a size queen and haven’t bothered to take your eyes off o’ those big feet to get a look at the dude’s bulge. Don’t be fooled into thinking he has a big dick just because of the size of those Hush Puppies ... their bark may be louder than the bite given to your boypussy! NEXT! 74 // davidatlanta.com

Advice columnist • SiriusXM radio personality ... and everyone’s #FAVORITEBITCH Website FavoriteBitch.com Twitter @MissTiger Advice ask@misstiger.com

News Flash: It may be cold season, but that’s no excuse to not wash your balls. My sense of smell still works.

You’re upset.

Maybe you should let everyone know on Facebook.

That should eliminate some drama.

OMG, your hair is so pretty. I know you scalped a bitch for that…details please.

My face is leaving in five minutes.

Be on it.

Honey, your friend’s drunk. Don’t leave him to head off with random people.

Honey we need to step away, I think this man is a homosexual. #HoneyPlease 76 // davidatlanta.com

Britney’s gone downhill since her snake dance in ’01.

We need a gritty documentary about this called 12 Years a Slave 4 U. If you were a girl, you better upgrade that health plan; let’s just say you’ll be needing additional services.

Flatulating is human, but there’s no excuse not to attempt to step out of the room and not have me go through that.

Don’t give me your stank eye because you make more money than me.

We did not start the same. *This page reflects the bitchiness of the community not David Atlanta or its publisher (although we’re bitchy too!)