THE FOOTHILLS PAPER - APRIL 8, 2016

THE ELECTION’S OVER — WE ALL WON! FREE

FRIDAY • APRIL 8, 2016

TELLING THE TRUTH FOR OVER 11 YEARS!

VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8

They Made Their Voices Heard!

INSIDE: Spotlight on Business: Bella’s Paralegal

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CV Sierra Club’s “Sudan Egypt”

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LAFD Captain Kris Larson ................

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DEPARTMENTS News from Your Clinic........... 2 View from the Rock.............. 3 Chef Randy........................... 5 Jim Laris............................... 8 S-T Crime Stats................... 10 Take My Card..................... 11

All these stories and more can be seen at:

http://facebook.com/thefoothillspaper

OVER 200 DISTRIBUTION SITES IN THE FOOTHILLS AREA

2 — FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 • THE FOOTHILLS PAPER

www.thefoothillspaper.com • VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8

News From Your Urgent Care Clinic

Obesity: A MultiStrategy Solution by

Bella’s Paralegal Services

Sam Samalin, PA-C

Nearly every week, someone comes into our clinic and asks if we can help them with weight loss information.

So many people struggle with eating in an attempt to enjoy a healthy life and control weight.

First, avoid unneeded calories — the worst of which are french fries, potato chips, soda and meat. Meat means beef, chicken or pork; if you eat some fish each week, that is good. You can also get lean protein from beans, eggs, yogurt, peanut butter, tofu, quinoa, nuts and seeds, etc.

Next, avoid sugary carbs and limit your carb intake.

Sugary carbs are white bread, rice, tortillas and any baked items with flour. Good carbs are whole grains, pasta and potatoes. Avoid sugar by not eating packaged food of any kind or at restaurants, and just making food with your own fresh ingredients such as whole grains, vegetables, fruits, lean proteins and olive or soybean oil. What to eat is half the solution.

How much to eat is also key.

That means knowing when to stop. Always enjoy every bite of food, take the time out of your day to relax and enjoy

Spotlight on Business

Dr. Sam. eating. If after eating for a while you don’t enjoy the taste of your food as if it’s your first bite, this is your body telling you you’re getting full, and it’s time to start finishing up your meal. If you feel upset about eating, just stop. Even a little overeating can devastate your quality of life.

Many of us can’t control our eating, however, and we need help. That means eat with someone who can control their food intake and follow their behavior, or eat planned, prepared meals, and don’t eat alone or other than the plan.

If your BMI is over 25 seek medical help. Often patients are unaware of the calories in their food, or need therapy or support. Eating is naturally a pleasurable part of life, the best plan restores you to the simple enjoyment of eating.

Come to First Aide Urgent Care for support for your eating and weight control.

My name is Lynda Lepe, and I am a family law paralegal. I have been a resident of La Crescenta for many years.

I specialize in divorces, child custody, child support, restraining orders and guardianships. I work with many clients who cannot afford to pay expensive attorney fees.

Many of my clients do not have the funds to pay high retainers for attorneys.

I can offer low-cost attorney representation. My business came to be after I found myself in a court battle many years ago. I was dragged into court by a cruel family member. I had suffered many years of abuse by this person and his next step was to try to steal my child legally from

(2-11-25 to 3-10-16 Emma Gagnon passed away after a long battle with Alzheimer’s disease. She is survived by her husband of more than two decades, Cam Gagnon, and her two daughters, Pam Gardner and Cindy Gardner-Hathaway and two grandchildren.

She was married at the Tujunga United Methodist Church. She retired from a long clerical career as Mrs. Sterling from Verdugo Hills High School. She also worked at Mt. Gleason Jr. High. She lived in Tujunga on Tinker Avenue for nearly 40 years. She was active in church, choir, square dancing and travel.

I have since been working in family law with attorneys.

I am committed to helping those who are in need of legal help.

I cannot stress the fact that many people are afraid of the legal system but we see Bella’s, page 10

Come check out one of the largest selections of wild game meat!

Dr. Sam is a Physicians Assistant and is certified at the Urgent Care Clinic, 7204 Foothill Blvd.

Emma Gagnon

me. It took me a couple of years but we won our case and my child was no longer forced by law to spend any time with the abuser.

I discovered that my situation was not uncommon. I went to school and received my certificate as a paralegal.

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THE FOOTHILLS PAPER • FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 — 3

VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8 • www.thefoothillspaper.com

For all of you that participated in or followed the STNC election last Saturday: THAT WAS A SQUEEKER! I was really impressed to see the community get polarized enough to come vote for their candidates. Everything was going pretty good for about a month before the election, then BANG! It went crazy. Arnie got busted for allegedly having marijuana at the St. Andrews Collective which he does not own, the Nina was still going around touting her non-existent newspaper, and the Cleghorn machine was receiving death threats.

We have everything necessary to write a local book we could call “The Lard Of The Flies!” (With all due respect to William Golding.)

But I’m going to stand-down and give the newly elected council a chance to prove themselves.

And boy, will they have to do something wonderful to undo what the STNC and the machine have done these past years.

What I find most interesting it that the newly elected (unopposed) Treasurer Ms. Shooshig S. Avakian is going to have to sort through the non-existent meeting minutes and find out WHO authorized the payment of all that money to the chamber of commerce.

The NC is paying the chamber’s rent every month, and they don’t even have someone to man their office. I’m really looking forward to the new secretary to set up a way to keep the minutes honest. It can be done, but it’s going to be interesting to see how it plays out.

On the local front, we’re still having a traffic fatality a month on our streets. WE DO HAVE A LARGER POLICE PRESENCE, but they can’t be everywhere.

Drug busts are up, attempted suicides and ODs are up and the transients are still migrating from one campsite to another. But the LAPD is doing something absolutely wonderful: Some of their officers are taking special training

VIEW

RO CK on how to contain and defuse a person with a mental problem without anyone getting injured.

So yes, boys and girls, once again we have the chance of becoming a normal community. One of our local racists, Kurt Koesler, sent me photographs of his stealing hundreds of our newspapers.

He doesn’t want you to be able to read them. Cindy Cleghorn is yelling LIAR at me for stating the truth about her turning in people with display signs. There has to be some truth in how the machine

has been controlling our local community – I never had someone throw bricks through my company windows or have to get restraining orders against my employees.

Think about it.

Anyway, I want to congratulate the newly elected NC members.

You fought a hard battle against really difficult odds, and you won. More than 1,275 people showed up to vote, and 1,223 actually voted. THAT’S INCREDIBLE. Who knows, maybe they ran out of water? LOL

The Foothills Letters & P erspectives

An Open Letter to Rotary THE FOOTHILLS PAPER

is published bi-weekly. All contents are copyrighted and may not be reproduced without written consent of the publisher. All submissions to this newspaper become property of THE FOOTHILLS PAPER and may not be republished in whole or in part. The opinions expressed by contributing writers do not necessarily express the views of the publisher nor staff of this newspaper. TFP is available free of charge. No person may, without prior written permission from TFP, take more than one copy of each edition (stated value: $1).

Only authorized TFP distributors may distribute THE FOOTHILLS PAPER. THE FOOTHILLS PAPER is a non-profit newspaper produced by the OSS-Spectrum group.

EXECUTIVE EDITOR/PUBLISHER Dr. David DeMullé

editor@thefoothillspaper.com TECHNICAL EDITOR Randall Fleming ftp@thepaper.ws STAFF ASSISTANT Dyan McManus WITH THANKS TO The ILS Foundation for Their Support

THE FOOTHILLS PAPER TheFoothillsPaper.COM P.O. Box 444, Tujunga CA 91043 818-951-0943

L.A. Press Club Press Photographers Association of Greater Los Angeles International Combat Camera Association

Dear Rotary President, I resigned from the Sunland-Tujunga / Shadow Hills (STSH) Rotary Club in November, 2015. And included a request that my name be removed from everything Rotary. You have not removed my name.

My resignation was notarized because I want to be held harmless should the

STSH Rotary Club continue to have financial troubles, including the money that seems to be owed regarding the Hometown Heroes banners in town here.

I believe it is owed to a local retired Marine nurse, who has done tours in Iraq.

Amelia Anderson resigned in September of 2015. Past presidents Richard and Susan Stewart both resigned last month.

Word is that the STSH Rotary Club is down to five

members.

Never have I seen worse leadership. Never have I worked with people so ethically bankrupt.

I’m writing a story about it, and expect it to published soon after it’s finished. (My late husband’s family owned the New Yorker and I have good friends there who work on the literary side.) The tentative title is “Death by Rotary.”

Again: please remove my name from anything having

to do with Rotary.

Thank you.

Candace Laughlin, STSH Rotary Club, six years, four as Secretary.

Club Rotarian of the Year, 9/2015; Crescenta- Canada Rotary Club ‘95-’97; Club Rotarian of the Year, 1996; reference: Joe Kroening, owner, Andy’s Transfer, long-time leader of Crescenta-Cañada Club.

The Wack-Os Are At It Again Hindenburg Park threatened by bored “community” activists by

David DeMullé

Last week, Los Angeles County put up a new sign depicting the German heritage and what the German community did to make the Crescenta Valley a great place to live. The name Hindenburg Park has been engraved on a boulder near the cooking area for as long as I can remember.

The sign is a simple sign stating “Welcome to Hindenburg Park.”

So what? you might say.

Well, a group of dissidents decided that this was an affront to them because back in the 1930s, it had a Nazi youth camp and later, a few Nazi rallies were held there.

The park was not set up to honor the Nazis but to honor a World War One hero and Ger-

many’s president from 1925 to 1934, Paul von Hindenburg.

There is a plaque in the middle of the grounds that outlines the history of the German settlers in the Crescenta Valley. It has always been that way. Now a few people have created a

band-wagon to claim that it has a sinister hidden agenda to praise the pre-World War II Nazis. That’s like saying that we have to shut down Sunland Park and Foothill Blvd. because the KKK had rallies there.

The new sign was erected

by the Tricentennial Foundation, a German heritage organization based in the North Hills with the approval of the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors.

Don’t we have enough problems to worry about without making new ones?

4 — FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 • THE FOOTHILLS PAPER

www.thefoothillspaper.com • VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8

CV Sierra Club Presents “Sudan Egypt” at Library The Crescenta Valley Sierra Club presents, Bob Ihsen’s Sudan Egypt, on Tuesday, April 12 at 7:30 p.m., at the Los Angeles County Public Library in La Crescenta.

With Bob Ihsen’s program we will travel north from Khartoum along the Nile to visit remarkable archaeological sites relating to the Kingdom of Kush, an ancient rival to the better-known pharaohs to the north. On to the pyramids of Meroe, a world heritage site, the Coptic Christian tombs at Dongola, then to explore Jebel Barkal

Attention All Veterans, Sons, Daughters and Wives of Veterans

Come and Enjoy your local American Legion Post Help support Veterans and Veterans’ Causes

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Karaoke Saturday, April 9 from 8-11 p.m. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ American Legion Post 377

and the Royal Necropolis of Napata. A visit to nomadic tribes in the isolated Bayuda Desert and the ruins of Ancient desert cities miles from the Nile. Returning to Khartoun we will see the Whirling Dervishes of the Sufis, the Tomb of the Mahdi and cruise to the confluence of the Blue Nile and the White Nile.

He is a lifelong residence of Covina and a 40-year Sierra Club member. When taking time out from his many years of teaching history, he has traveled the United States and the world. Of the 193 mem-

bers of the United Nations he has been to them all except one: Libya. He is active in the Covina Lions’ Breakast Club, the San Dimas Westerners and is president of the Covina Valley Historical Society as well as a co-advisor of the Scholarship Federation at Covina High.

The program begins following news of Conservation and Outings. This is a free community event and everyone is welcome. Refreshments will be served. Please contact Wayne Fisher for further information at (818) 353-4181.

Pasadena Society of Artists Hosts Exhibition on April 9

10039 Pinewood Avenue, Tujunga

(818) 353-9856

Events open to the Public Canteen Hours - 7 days a week, 2- 10 p.m.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For Hall Rental, call Commander Dan at

(818) 521-1137

Little Landers Historical Society

invites you to our

Blazing Star Bazaar

White’s Fine Arts hosts juried exhibition.

Saturday, April 16th, 2016 Doors Open at 9:00 AM Bolton Hall Museum and Little Landers Park 10110 Commerce Avenue, Tujunga

This is not your average rummage sale!

We are offering new, used, antique, retro, vintage and collectable items at great prices.

We also have a variety of potted plants for a fraction of the cost you’d pay anywhere else.

.

Donation items are being accepted at Bolton Hall during public hours: 1 to 4 PM, Tuesdays and Sundays.

We are also accepting donations on Friday, April 15th from 10 AM to 3 PM. For plant donations, please contact us to make arrangements.

www. Little Landers Historical Society .org (818) 352-3420

LittleLanders@verizon.net

The Pasadena Society of Artists is proud to present the Spring Juried Exhibition at White’s Fine Art located at 2414 Honolulu Avenue in Montrose. Gallery hours are Tuesday through Saturday, 9 a.m. until 5 p.m. The gallery

can be contacted at (818) 957-4071 or via the Web site at www.whitesfineart.com.

Come and see 41 artworks presented by 37 members of the Pasadena Society of Artists as selected by juror Clovis Blackwell.

The exhibition opens Tuesday, April 5 and continues until Saturday, April 30. Meet the artists at the Opening Reception Saturday, April 9 from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. Refreshments and hors d’oeuvres will see Exhibition, page 9

Movie Review: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Bob Garver

out that all of that worry and pessimism was pretty much The new superhero flick, justified.

“Batman v Superman: Dawn The movie starts out durof Justice,” is the most aning the climactic battle from ticipated superhero cross“Man of Steel” when a Meover movie since “The Aveng- tropolis-based Wayne Enterers.” Actually, it might be prises building gets destroyed. even more anticipated than Bruce Wayne (Affleck), sepa“The Avengers.” Superman rated from his Bat-gear, saves and Batman have starred in a few people in the rubble, big-budget blockbusters since but losses are heavy. He’s the 1970s and ‘80s, respecobviously angry at Zod, but tively (and smaller-scale mov- he’s mad at Superman (Henie serials and TV shows long ry Cavill) too. He’s the reabefore that), but who cared son they’re having this battle, much about Iron Man or Thor he’s being too reckless, and before the last decade? Exis it really good for the planpectations for this movie are et to have someone as unstopextremely high, as is the popable as him, even as a good tential for disappointment. Af- guy? Superman spends a lot ter all, this movie is directof time struggling with these ed by Zack Snyder, helmer of questions himself, though notorious Superman markhe doesn’t spend much time misser “Man of Steel.” The thinking about Batman. Maycasting of bomb-prone Ben be Batman’s ego is hurt by Affleck as Batman also sent how little Superman thinks of fans into an uproar. It turns him and that’s why he hates by

Superman so much.

Batman vows to build a weapon to destroy Superman that he may or may not have to use. He settles on stealing the one being built by fellow billionaire industrialist Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg), who has discovered that Superman is vulnerable to Kryptonite.

Batman wants the weapon for himself because it should onsee Batman, page 9

THE FOOTHILLS PAPER • FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 — 5

VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8 • www.thefoothillspaper.com

Date-Nut-Fig Tart by

Artfully

Chef Randy

If you’ve got a sweet tooth, this recipe is a way to fulfill your craving for something sweet. It features dates, which are naturally sweet, low in sodium, rich in potassium and contain a fair amount of selenium. (Selenium can help lower the risk heart disease as well as help keep our immune system healthy.)

Now, even though dates are very nutritional by themselves, I’m not saying this is a super-nutritional recipe. Far from it. In addition to the dates, it includes a lot of other sweet tasting carbohydrates such as figs, cranberries, brown sugar and honey.

So if you need to watch your sugar intake, this may not be the best recipe for you.

I will say that it is a good recipe and that your friends and family, who need that once-in-a-while sugar infusion, will enjoy eating it.

Ingredients 1 large egg 2 ½ tablespoons golden brown sugar (firmly packed) 2 ½ tablespoons butter (melted) 2 tablespoons orange blossom honey 1 ¾ teaspoons orange peel (finely grated) ½ cup unsalted pistachios (shelled) 3 ¼ cups pitted medjool dates (halved lengthwise)

SPEAKING

b

Bake tart until crust is golden brown and filling is bubbling in center, about 40 minutes.

Stir yogurt and remaining 3/4 teaspoon orange peel in small bowl. Serve tart warm Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. or at room temperature with orange-flavored yogurt on Line baking sheet with the side. parchment paper. Whisk egg, 2 tablespoons brown sugar, * Crust Ingredients: 2 tablespoons melted butter, honey, and 1 teaspoon orange 3 cups flour 1 cup wheat germ peel in medium bowl.

1 ½ teaspoon sea salt Set aside 1 tablespoon of 1 cup plus 4 tablespoons butthe nuts for garnish. Add reter maining nuts and all dried 10 – 12 tablespoons cold wafruit to bowl with egg mixter ture; toss filling to coat.

Unroll crust onto prepared Crust Directions: sheet. Spoon filling into center of crust; spread out in even Stir together flour, wheat layer, leaving 1 1/2- to 2-inch germ and salt. Cut butter into these dry ingredients (a pasborder. Fold crust edges over try cutter makes this easy). filling (about an inch of the When the dough is the conoutside crust) pleating ocsistency of rolled oats, sprincasionally. Brush crust with kle with enough of the water remaining 1/2 tablespoon to hold the dough together. melted butter. Finely chop Form into a ball, cover and reserved tablespoon of nuts. refrigerate for about an hour Mix chopped nuts and remaining 1/2 tablespoon brown before rolling out into a circle approximately ¼ inch sugar in small bowl. Sprinkle thick. over crust.

½ cup dried cranberries ½ cup dried black Mission figs (stemmed and halved) Tart crust (see below*) 1 cup Greek yogurt

For additional recipes, see Chef Randy’s website at

valley-vegetarian.com

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Truly Original It would be arrogant and narcissistic to assert that any artist today is so because he / she figured it out all on their own.

Even an art form / style that may not be in vogue or viewed as worthwhile is derived from what has come before. The added fact the tools we use are the same is further evidence, to me, that we learn from those who have come before. I can state with certainty I have picked up my share of methods and techniques from many other artists both living and dead.

If you live on this planet, you will be influenced by what has come before. Even if you are secluded away without mass media or newspapers, I believe your art would reflect the world you live in then resemble some form or configuration seen before. Consequently it would not be justly deemed original.

One underlying fact is that we all take information, sift it, absorb what works then use what ability we were endowed to try and use the information to say something worthwhile.

Even art that is not intended to be informative or instructive but just playful says something.

Art is a way to communicate. Its one fundamental way humans have tried to outlive their existence and become immortal as far back as the cavemen/women who left behind impressions of their world. We are doing nothing more than they. Communication is at the very heart of all art.

When you factor into the equation commerce then things change. Selling is im-

t

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portant on many levels today but the underlying issue for many artists is profoundly to transmit an idea of what they see and/or believe. This is what we try and do every day of our life when creating “original” art.

Even the child with his/her first paint set will put down what they believe to be an idea of the world. It may not be coherent or well-constructed due to the fact they haven’t developed the ability to fully express it. Yet it will be an impression or facsimile of what is already known.

Which brings me to the word “original.” In a creative sense, what does original mean?

Can we even identify anything as not being derivative, a variation or permutation of something that has come previously? Figuratively speaking, we are all cut ostensibly from the same genetic cloth.

Regardless of origin, area of birth, physical makeup, we all have the same brain with relatively the sameness makeup and connections to our world.

We are humans.

A person or persons from an as yet unknown or discovered civilization will still be “human” to get to the root of it.

Hence, they will possess the same characteristics as you or me and thus see the world albeit with some differences, but they will record what they see and think.

I may seem to be going too far from my central point, but I don’t think so.

Who among us can say they possess THE original idea?

6 — FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 • THE FOOTHILLS PAPER

www.thefoothillspaper.com • VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8

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VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8 • www.thefoothillspaper.com

Salem Lutheran School Opens 8th Grade Multiple-award winning and WASC-Accredited K-7 school expands to meet growing demand

Salem Lutheran School announced today that final plans for adding 8th grade to the current Jk-7th grade program has been completed.

Salem introduced 7th grade this past September, 2015.

The rigorous 7th grade program was designed to not only prepare the students for high school, but as well as college. With this in mind, Salem wants to continue offering a challenging academic standard that promotes 21st century instruction. In general, 8th grade will be considered the foundation for their spiritual and academic professional careers here at

Salem Lutheran School.

At Salem, education is considered complete only if it includes both top level academics together with classes stressing good citizenship, strong moral values and examples of ethical behavior in the context of Christian teachings. “Our teachers’ goals and our parents’ goals are one and the same,” said Principal of 18 years Ghada Huleis. “We are here to support parents who want their children to grow into well-balanced adults who value achievement, service to others in need and compassion towards all.”

Glendale’s Salem Lutheran School is accredited by the Western Association of Schools and Colleges, and won the Glendale News Press Best of Glendale School Award 2014, won Principal of the Year award by Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, National Distinguished Principal award presented

by National Association of Elementary School Principals.

For more information, please visit www.salemlutheranglendaleschool.org or contact the school at (818) 243-8264 or email the school at salemschooloffice@juno. com.

The Hillsides Are A Ticking Timebomb! by

David DeMullé

The great white heron foraged in waist-high oats and foxtails in a weedy haven among expensive hillside homes. But to Los Angeles Fire Inspectors, one heron’s buffet becomes a growing time bomb of tinder during the driest season on record in Los Angeles.

“What I always want to look for is where the fire is headed, where is it going to go, straight up into that pine tree, into that house; when the wind blows, off it goes.” Brush has become so dry due to lack of rain that conditions now approximate the height of summer, fire prevention officials say.

Not even the cloudy skies and possible rain expected to move over Southern California are expected to hydrate the grass and brush that become easy kindling for neighborhood fires.

Los Angeles, with 4.27 inches of rain this season, is just over a quarter-inch drier than the record driest year of 1960-61: a mere 4.56 inches.

Normal rainfall for downtown

L.A. between July 1 and June 30 is 13.94 inches.

Firefighters got a bit of a brush fire scare Thursday but were able to take care of the problem quickly. Crews doused a one-acre brush fire near the Hansen Dam Monday around 6 p.m.

There were no reports of injuries and no homes were threatened, but there were a lot of people enjoying the basin when the fire started.

The cause of the blaze is under investigation.

To avoid the firestorms like those that once engulfed our mountains a couple of years ago, the fire department is asking residents this spring to be especially diligent about brush clearance.

Every time we have a rain, no matter how limited, the weeds spring to life, and then die. All residents are asked to maintain a 200 foot “Brown Zone” around their houses. If the job is too big, there are many local brush clearance companies that do the work for you. One such local business is Aper’s Tree and Brush Service of Tujunga.

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Another Traffic Fatality Driver claims sun blinded him as he hit pedestrian On March 22, there was another traffic fatality in Sunland-Tujunga, this time at the intersection of Newhome and Sherman Grove in Sunland.

Jae Hee Song was walking across the intersection when she was struck by a neighbor going east-bound. The driver reported that as he came to the intersection, the sun blinded him and he did not see Ms. Song crossing. Song was transported to a local hospital by neighbors where she passed away.

It was just two weeks ago that Kathleen Yukl was killed in a traffic accident on Foothill Boulevard. The driver claimed to have been blinded by the early morning sun and apparently didn’t see her crossing the intersection on her motorcycle.

If you look back at all the “Wrecks of the Week” that the Foothills Paper has

Jae Hee Song’s possessions at the scene of the accident. posted through the years, you will see that the majority of them were caused by driver distraction. The facts are not yet revealed as to how fast the driver involved in this recent traffic fatality was going, but

it obviously was too fast for the conditions that morning.

Please drive slowly and carefully, and as a pedestrian, just because you have the right of way, shouldn’t make you “dead-right.”

8 — FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 • THE FOOTHILLS PAPER

www.thefoothillspaper.com • VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8

It’s Ironic, Isn’t it?

by Jim

Laris

Do you know what the word “irony” means? Oh, sure, you think you know what it means. Hey, I thought I knew what it meant. But try saying just exactly what irony means in one short sentence so that even someone like me who has a two-digit I.Q. can understand. OK, I’m waiting. I’m not hearing any short sentences. I don’t have all day here, folks, I’m writing a damn column.

You can’t do it, can you?

You know what it means, but you can’t actually say what it means. I feel your frustrated, pissy little pain. Well, I am going to quell that pain (and your thirst, if quell shouldn’t be used with pain) and tell you what the dictionary says.

As per the Encarta World Dictionary found on my word processor, irony is “something that happens that is incongruous with what might be expected to happen, especially when this seems absurd or laughable.”

Hey, that is exactly right.

Those dictionary guys are pretty happening, huh? That

is exactly what I wanted old boat to go with my hovel to say, but I couldn’t. And up in Oregon, and the boat because I know you couldn’t needed, shall we say, a boateither (you’re probably still load of repairs. The motor stuck on incongruous), I have wouldn’t run, the batteries decided to do yet another were dead and there was no public service and help you reverse gear. And I needed to semi-lowlife ingrates out have a kicker motor mounted, with an example of irony, too, for safety reasons. As which hopefully will stick in in, if you are out on the open your minds. So in the future, seas and your first psycho if someone asks you what motor goes out you can use irony is, you can say that you your kicker to get your sorry knew this jerk-off columnist ass back in to land to be able guy and you can tell them a to watch future episodes of little story filled with irony “Mad Men.” and little else.

So I had the work done.

As you may recall, I (That noise you hear is my informed you in my last colwallet weeping.) Everything umn that I had accidentally is supposedly cool, so a backed up into another car. friend of mine and I decide Well, in this week’s column, to take her out for a little test I am going to inform you cruise. And because I was that I have backed up into interested in you learning the a boat. No, I wasn’t in a car meaning of irony, we thought when I hit the boat. I was in it would be safer if we just a boat when I backed up into used the kicker motor and the other boat. And why did stayed in the harbor before I back up into another boat? we headed out to sea and Well, I did it just so I could probable death. help you remember what The kicker motor started irony is. That’s the kind of up on the second pull. Mike guy I am. Selfless. was at the tiller and I shoved Altruistic. And a the boat out from the slip, vocabulary-enchancing giant. hopped on board like Errol Here’s the deal. I bought an Flynn and we were off. Mike

puts the outboard in first gear and off we go. Until he tried to turn the outboard, and he discovered the boat guys had not mounted the outboard motor correctly. And he couldn’t turn.

So he yelled, “Start the main motor and get us out of here!” I jumped into the captain’s seat, turned the motor on and immediately threw it into gear. I floored that sucker. It really took off. Kind of too bad it was in reverse.

So, in two days, I had backed into a car and a boat.

(Don’t take me to an airport.)

Mike inquired as to just what my reasoning was to have put it into reverse. I told him that my readers were the most important things to me, and that I needed to show them what irony meant with some concrete example that they could use in the future, and that my personal safety, credibility, pride and being referred to as a dangerous, dumber-than-a-donut-hole driver were just not that important to me.

If I wouldn’t have tried to be safe and prudently

Jim Laris is Jim Laris. decided to just take the boat out into the harbor instead of risk going out to sea, and if I hadn’t spent $479 to fix that frigging reverse gear, I would not have been able to use that frigging reverse gear to slam it into frigging reverse and back into that boat with expensively paidfor full reverseness.

Ironic, isn’t it?

Jim can be contacted at jimlaris@mac.com

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VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8 • www.thefoothillspaper.com

LAFD Captain II Kris Larson

LAFD Fire Captain II Kris Larson had her first Tujunga structure fire last Thursday morning at 10451 Tinker Avenue.

As Captain of the “A” shift, Larson has the honor of being the highest ranking female African American captain in the Los Angeles Fire Department (LAFD) and brings with her 25 years of experience.

Her previous assignment was as a member of the Panorama City Drill Tower 81 Instruction Cadre.

As the only female officer on the drill tower staff, she was well respected by her fellow instructors and the recruits that were going through the 20 week fire academy.

In last week’s fire, Engine & Truck 74 arrived on the scene

THE FOOTHILLS PAPER • FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 — 9

within five minutes of being notified and quickly put out the fire without any damage to surrounding vehicles and structures.

LAFD Captain II Kris Larson.

Captain Larson commands her LAFD firefighters.

OBITUARY: Craig Chereek With the dawning of a new CD, the sun set one last time for local Foothills folk songwriter and Vietnam Vet, Craig Chereek.

Friends from around the globe adored Craig, not only for his extraordinary musical talent, but for his cheerful demeaner, intellectual astuteness, and commitment to environmental protection and basic human rights. He had a way

of facilitating those on all sides of issues to find a common ground. Craig played acoustic guitar for 53 years, having traveled around America playing local clubs. Mentored by “Nature Boy” writer Eden Ahbez in his early days, Craig adopted a tender picking style, writing songs about love and justice.

Craig’s bucket list was short: finish the second Craig & Debbie CD, have a

listening party, and marry his musical partner, Debbie Ethridge. Although Craig and Debbie did not have a chance to tie the knot, she says they were married in spirit and that’s all that really matters.

The second CD is finished and set for release in the very near future. The first CD was given a very positive review by our paper about a year ago. A beautiful, emotional listening party took place at

OBITUARY: Louis Lata Aug. 2, 1918--Feb. 15, 2016 Born in Ludlow, MA, he was the oldest of six children. His parents, John and Josephine Lata moved the family to Erie, PA where he grew up. He worked at many jobs while a youth. At one of those jobs, he met his future wife, Rose Rawa. They married on September 4, 1939.

In 1945, during World War II, Louis was inducted into the U.S. Army, serving in Italy and Austria. He returned from the war

Exhibition, from pg. 4 be served.

Media includes oils, acrylics, watercolors, bronze sculptures, onyx sculptures, encaustic, digital and traditional photography, metal sculptures, fused

Batman, from pg. 4 ly be in the hands of someone good like him instead of someone who probably wants to commit some sort of unspecified evil like Luthor. Also trying to steal from Luthor is a mysterious woman (Gal Gadot) with different motivations. It’s a poorly-kept secret who she is, but I’ll avoid spoilers except to say that she got the biggest non-trailer reaction at my screening.

A superhero movie is often only as good as its villain, and I have mixed feelings about Eisenberg as Luthor. I don’t hate his twitchy delivery as much as some other critics, nor do I think he “ruins” a tense scene by interrupting an important conversation between Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent. The argument is that there’s no reason he should be commenting on a conver-

with a foot and leg ailment that eventually forced the family in 1952 to move to the warmer climate in southern California.

Louis worked at various jobs including prototype machinist, motel manager, sole proprietor of an appliance business and plant general manager. They joined Our Lady Of Lourdes Parish, Tujunga. Louis became active in The Knights of Columbus, Council #4438, serving as Bingo Manager for many years, as well as holding several

glass, mixed media, pastel, charcoal, graphite, etchings and ceramics.

Founded in 1925, the Pasadena Society of Artists (PSA) is one of the area’s original professional artist groups.

The Society is noted for its

his home in La Crescenta last Friday, as he rested under hospice care. Friends and family entered his room one by one, praying and sharing their sentiments.

He then passed away moments after the party ended.

Though the community deeply mourns Craig’s departure from this life, we know he’s up there in Heaven teaching the angels how to pick n’ grin.

offices including Grand Knight. Louis was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in January, 2014. He passed away quietly and peacefully in his Sunland home and hopefully, he is teaching all those angels for whom he was waiting how to polka.

He leaves behind, Rose, his wife of 76 years, his son Jerome (Grace), daughter Darlene (Myron Ferdig), son Terrance (Celia), Grandson Jonathan Lata, Granddaughter Elizabeth Buell and two

great-granddaughters Alyssa and Kamryn Buell, his brother Ted (Cheryl).

Louis was buried with military honors at Arlington National Veteran’s Cemetery in Riverside, California on March 4.

In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to: Alzheimer’s Assn, 225 N. Michigan Ave. Floor 17, Chicago, IL 60601 or Lourdes Columbian Society, 10275 Tujunga Canyon Blvd., Tujunga, CA 91042.

vigorous, active membership, wide diversity of artistic statement, and high professional standards. Membership is by juried submission.

PSA is a non-profit organization whose mission is to present the works of its many

talented and creative artists to the community of Pasadena and surrounding areas.

Combining an active tradition of community participation and partnering with local community arts organizations, as well as philanthropic,

sation between a billionaire requirement for a fight scene playboy and a mild-mannered is fulfilled. The second part of nobody reporter, but I say that the title is also present, mosthe’s already figured out that ly through hints and one deHenry Cavill with glasses is but. I would have preferred Superman and Ben Affleck’s a few more debuts, but I was chin without the mask is Batminimally satisfied. Overall, man. On the other hand, he’s however, this movie is a mess. a villain with long hair, wild The narrative is disjointed rambling, a disruptive nature, and character motivations are and a scheme that doesn’t barely more developed than seem to extend beyond mess- “They’re so-and-so, they have ing with our heroes. If the to be like that.” We get the movie wanted to do this char- expected superhero shenaniacter so badly, why make him gans, but otherwise this movthe megalomaniacal Lex Luie spends over two and a half thor and not The Joker? hours not making sense.

I’m not going to say that I One and a half stars out of feel “cheated” by “Batman v five.

Superman: Dawn of Justice.”

“Batman v Superman: We get Batman, we get SuDawn of Justice” is rated PGperman, and they tussle. It’s 13 for intense sequences of hard to get invested in their violence and action throughfight because of how likely it out, and some sensuality. Its is that they’ll eventually put running time is 151 minutes. aside their differences to go after the real villain and his Contact Bob Garver boring CGI monster, but the at: rrg251@nyu.edu.

humanitarian and educational institutions, PSA endeavors to enhance public awareness of art and the enriching qualities it brings to our lives.

For more information about PSA, please visit www.

PasadenaSocietyofArtists.org.

10 — FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 • THE FOOTHILLS PAPER

www.thefoothillspaper.com • VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8

Crime Stats Burglary 03/18/16 08:00 PM 7400 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL BL Burglary 03/19/16 12:00 PM 8000 BLOCK OF ELLENBOGEN ST Theft 03/19/16 02:00 PM 10300 BLOCK OF QUILL AV Theft 03/19/16 10:00 PM 10100 BLOCK OF PINEWOOD AV Details Theft 03/20/16 09:30 PM 10400 BLOCK OF SCOVILLE AV Theft 03/20/16 07:10 PM 7300 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL BL Theft 03/20/16 07:00 PM 10200 BLOCK OF TUJUNGA CANYON BL Theft 03/20/16 10:00 PM 10000 BLOCK OF TUJUNGA CANYON BL Theft 03/20/16 10:00 AM 11100 BLOCK OF ORO VISTA AV Burglary 03/21/16 04:00 PM 10900 BLOCK OF MOUNT GLEASON AV Assault 03/22/16 06:30 PM 10400 BLOCK OF LAS LUNITAS AV

Assault 03/26/16 09:30 PM 00 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL AND WENTWORTH

Theft 03/27/16 10:00 PM 9900 BLOCK OF HAINES CANYON AV Details Assault 03/28/16 09:05 PM 00 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL BL AND PLAINVIEW ST Assault 03/28/16 09:35 PM FOOTHILL BLVD AND PLAINVIEW AVE Assault 03/28/16 09:38 PM FOOTHILL BLVD AND PLAINVIEW AVE Assault 03/28/16 05:00 PM 00 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL AND WYNGATE ST Robbery 03/28/16 08:50 AM 8600 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL BL Theft 03/30/16 12:00 PM 10800 BLOCK OF MOUNT GLEASON AV

Theft 03/22/16 02:05 PM 10000 BLOCK OF COMMERCE AV

Theft 03/30/16 01:10 PM 6500 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL BL

Theft 03/22/16 07:00 AM 7000 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL BL Assault 03/23/16 12:00 PM 8600 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL BL Theft 03/24/16 08:00 PM 00 BLOCK OF SABLE ST AND FENWICK ST Theft 03/25/16 12:30 AM 00 BLOCK OF 3RD ST AND GRANDVIEW Burglary 03/25/16 06:15 AM 9600 BLOCK OF FOOTHILL BL

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Bill to Give Consumers Power to Cancel Services With a Click

You’ve seen the ads from companies that advertise the ease of signing up for their cable or Internet service over the web. However, if individuals decide to cancel those same services, they’re often forced to suffer through infuriating, time-consuming phone calls, often spending hours on hold. Today, Assemblyman Mike Gatto (D-Los Angeles) introduced a major consumer-protection measure that would require companies that allow Californians to sign up for cable or Internet services online to also allow them to cancel those services online.

“AB 2867 allows Californians to conveniently unsubscribe from a service with a simple click of the mouse,” said Assemblyman Gatto. “It just makes sense that if you are able to sign up for a service online, you should also be able to cancel it the same way.”

Bella’s, from pg. 2 must trust our situations with people who care and listen and can provide us with the knowledge of our rights.

perience that many consumers have encountered. These hassles have even generated a new industry, with startups offering to handle customer service issues on behalf of the Rapid advancements in consumer, for a fee. technology grant consumers “Two years ago my wife a wide variety of cable, Inter- and I called to cancel our sernet and phone service prodvice, and as is usually the ucts from which they may case, that call was pretty unchoose, and while compapleasant,” said Ryan Block. nies make it simple to buy “This is why we’re so excitor upgrade services, a caned by Assemblyman Gatto’s cellation request is usually a bill, which would finally alprolonged ordeal where cuslow most customers to be tomers are sometimes presable to cancel their service sured into extending their online, without having to talk contracts. AB 2867 provides to someone whose job is spea convenient and consumcifically to prevent you from er-friendly option for Calicanceling.” fornians to remove unwant “There are times when we, ed services without a long as the legislature, need to step phone call. in to protect consumers and In July 2014, Ryan Block, make people’s lives a little co-host of the MVP with Ryeasier,” said Gatto. “This is an & Peter Podcast, released one of those times.” an eight minute-clip of his Mike Gatto is the Chairman phone call in which he atof the Utilities & Commerce tempted to disconnect his caCommittee and the longestble services over the phone. serving current member of the His cancellation attempts State Assembly. He represents were repeatedly blocked by California’s 43rd Assembly the telephone representative, District, which includes Los culminating in a very frustrat- Angeles, Glendale and Buring 18-minute call — an exbank. www.asm.ca.gov/gatto.

I am a paralegal who has experienced the court system and can understand. I can help by preparing documents necessary to initiate or respond to your legal matter.

I am here to give many the opportunity to find the legal help they need and to help them know there are options — just as I was given a choice many years ago.

THE FOOTHILLS PAPER • FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 — 11

VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8 • www.thefoothillspaper.com

SEE OUR NEW ADDRESS BELOW!

8459 Foothill Blvd.

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12 — FRIDAY, APRIL 8, 2016 • THE FOOTHILLS PAPER

www.thefoothillspaper.com • VOLUME 12 • NUMBER 8

Local Artists Made It Happen!

In the hours just after sunrise, a band of urban activists gathered up their brushes and paint and they set about colorfully

decorating the Department of Transportation (DOT) signal boxes throughout Sunland-Tujunga. What the neighborhood

city council beautification committee could not pull together over the last three years was in a single night solved by

these anonymous artists who artfully spoke for the people: “We can do it without you!”

Why is it that our youth can

have visions and make them happen while their elders just vegetate and play Facebook games?