David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 614

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OCTOBER 20, 2010 ISSUE 614

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DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE 1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon-Fri 9:30am-6:00pm Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com publisher Matt Neumann

matt@davidatlanta.com

creative director knyckolas davis

knyckolas@davidatlanta.com

photography Brian Sawyer Matt Neumann Adam Rowe Jesus De La Cruz october 20, 2010

18 music spotlight 30 cover story 36 momma mona 48 brent star 54 atlanta a-z atlantaatoz@davidatlanta.com

seen@ 12 34 52 68

sales and account management Bob Swanson bswanson@davidatlanta.com

graphic design Matt Neumann operations and finance Brian Sawyer brian@davidatlanta.com

marketing & promotions Chip O'Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com

national ad rep Rivendell Media 908.232.2021 contributors Andrew Medlin David Muller Luis Chiruco

Brent Star Lucy

guides 50 horoscopes

62 bartab nightlife guide 67 gay atlanta guide 70 adult classifieds 78 bitchsession Add us on facebook! DavidAtlantaMagazine

cover istock photo Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo's and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.

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Music Spotlight

The Croon of Cameroon Rupaul’s Drag Race Winner Releases Cameroon

By George Shapiro

R

upaul’s Drag Race winner Bebe Zahara Benet started her career as a male model on the runways of France. Yes, a male model. During a show, when some of the female models failed to appear, Bebe – or Kudi, as the male Bebe was known then - was asked to step in as a lady. Bebe Zahara Benet emerged. Two years later, Kudi, er, Bebe, won the title of “America’s Next Drag Superstar.” “Winning the show was a stepping stone to take my artistry to the next level,” explains Bebe. “I’m thankful for all the opportunities that have come my way.” Some of the opportunities have been a photo spread in Paper magazine, an L.A. Eyeworks campaign, a headlining spot on the Absolut Pride Tour, and a record deal. Bebe releases her signature single, “Cameroon” this month. Tell us about your new single, “Cameroon”. After the show, I couldn’t walk down the street without someone howling at me, “Cameroon!” I guess it became my tag line. So I thought what better way to celebrate the win with a song that celebrates my tag line – and the country I love. How is Bebe Zahara Benet re-defining drag? With her unique sense of fashion and style. Her sexy yet salvage personality, her drive and determination. Can you give us examples of celebs that inspire you? There are so many. Beyonce, Diana Ross, Ru Paul, Grace Jones, Tyra Banks, Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry… Is there a story behind the name Bebe Zahara Benet? You know a lot of drag artists have a story behind their name choice. I don’t. When I created my persona, I was thinking of a name that fits it; something edgy, dynamic, classy. I wanted 18 davidatlanta

something that flowed well and was globally appealing. The name Bebe Zahara Benet came to mind. When did you know you were so fabulous, Bebe? I have always known it! (Laughs) Seriously, I work very hard on my artistry and I am my own worst critic. I try to surround myself and work with people who possess a unique talent drive and positive spirit. The end result is fabulousness. You just can’t help it. Did you expect to beat the other fabulous ladies in RuPaul’s Drag Race? One thing I know for sure is that everyone is beatable. However, you never know what is under anyone’s belt so I did not take anyone for granted. Through it all, I focused my energy on representing my persona the most honorable way as possible. That way, even if I did not win the race, I would still own my integrity. Why do you feel you won? I enjoyed the moment in every part of the race. I really believe my energy set me apart. How did you feel about the other ladies on the show? All of the ladies brought something special to the art form. I must tell you I was so happy when it came down to Nina and me because I knew whoever won was going to represent the title wonderfully. She is a superstar. We both just enjoyed the final moment. How did winning the show change your life? It confirmed that anything is possible when you believe, work hard, and do not underestimate yourself. Were you sad to give up your crown to second season winner, Tyra Sanchez? Sad? No, no, no. I was so excited for Tyra! I love her. Plus, I will always be the first.


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Datebook

Wednesday October 20 Who’s Your Team?

7:30 pm at Las Margaritas, 1842 Cheshire Bridge Road. Think you know your teams? Put your money where your mouth is at Team Trivia Night hosted at the ever-popular Las Margaritas. There will be beer bucket specials, $5 twisters alongside all the question marks you can answer, and quite a few you can’t. For more information visit: www.lasmargaritasmidtown.com

Thursday October 21 MEGA Family Project

7 pm at Phillip Rush Center, 1530 Dekalb Ave NE. Having trouble with your sexual identity? Join Atlanta’s first free support group for adults in the community who may be questioning their sexual orientation. The group is for individuals 18 and up, and will meet the third Thursday of each month for people who are exploring, struggling, or questioning their sexual orientation. You do not need to rsvp to attend. For further information contact Kathy Kelly at 404-8083350 or visit: www.megafamilyproject.org

“Sammy & Me”

8 pm at Alliance Theater, 1280 Peachtree St. NE. Sammy & Me is a one-man musical about “the greatest entertainer in the world,”

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showman Sammy Davis Jr. The show features 15 timeless songs, thirty characters and amazing dance performances. Broadway performer Eric Jordan Young and with director Wendy Dann collaborate to tell the story of Jordan’s life-long fascination with one of the most famous and talented performers of all time. Tickets range from $25 to $35. For tickets and information 404-733-5000 call or visit: www.alliancetheatre.org


Datebook Friday October 22 Bohemian

8 pm at Cobb Energy Centre, 2800 Cobb Galleria Parkway. Lose yourself in this bold and glamorous showcase starring “the divine unruly girls.” Go on a journey of turn-of-thecentury Parisian nightlife and experience the thrill of ordinary life becoming something truly extraordinary. Get up close and personal with the bohemian world of Paris and birthplace of the famous Cancan! The most famous cabaret in history, Moulin Rouge is the thrilling subject of books, paintings, and musicals. For more information visit: www.atlantaballet.com

Trailer Park Revue

10:30 pm at 3 Legged Cowboy, 931 Monroe Dr NE. Sugarbaby’s Trailer Park Revue is an old-fashioned, down home, country, comedy drag show. The show boasts performances by Ruby Redd, Shenita Quit, Special guest Lily White, and the queen of the double-wide, Suzanne Sugarbaby, all of which are sure to tickle your funny bone. Come out for a night of fun and entertainment in the trailer park. Every six months, a donation will be made to an AIDS charity from the proceeds. For more information visit: www.3leggedcowboy.net

It’s So Massive!!!

9 pm at Club Reign, 1001 Peachtree St. Massive at Club Reign is Atlanta’s new gay super-club continuing it’s “Reign” on Atlanta EVERY Friday night. Located directly across from the Federal Reserve (10th and Peachtree), next to the Loew’s Hotel. Guest talent, events, and special celebrity “drop-bys” happen each week. You won’t want to miss this mega dance party! For more information visit: www. chriscolemanenterprises.com

Saturday, Oct. 23 2010 Atlanta Pride Ride

8:30 am at Arabia Mountain Trail, Assembles at Stonecrest Mall, 2929 Turner Hill Road. Show your Pride while you ride. Grab your Bike and get ready for the 2nd Annual Atlanta Pride Ride on the Arabia Mountain Trail. Registration is $25 ($20 in advance) and includes a T-shirt and options for a 10 or 20 mile ride. All riders are required to wear a helmet, and All skill levels/age groups welcome and All bicycle types welcomed. Assembly begins 7:30am at Stonecrest Mall Parking lot near Food Court and the Ride kicks off at 8:30am. For more information visit: www.atlantapride.org

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Datebook

Fall Fest @ Candler Park

12 pm at Candler Park, 585 Candler Park Drive NE. The annual music and arts festival in this hip neighborhood of 1920s and ‘30s bungalows will take place in the expansive park at the intersection of McClendon Avenue and Candler Park Drive. Come enjoy a day of Music, arts, and a 5K-road race Saturday morning. For more information visit: www.candlerpark.org

Avondale Estates annually. The colors of Fall fuse with breathtaking art to create a truly creative showcase in this extremely gayfriendly part of town. This fun filled day of art, food and drink, music, and recreational activities for the kids is perfect for the whole family. For more information visit: www. avondalearts.org

Girlyman

8 pm at Eddies Attic,515 N Mcdonough St. Atlanta’s GIRLYMAN is a trio who delivers a high-energy and often humorous blend of urban folk, pop and bluegrass with soaring 3-part harmonies. Doris Muramatsu, Ty Greenstein and Nate Borofsky are all classically trained. This modern day Peter, Paul and Mary uses all kinds of instruments, which include guitars, banjo, djembe, and mandolin. Tickets cost $18 in advance, $20 at the door, and $90 for tables. Show begins at 8:00pm and Doors open at 6:30pm. For tickets and information visit: eddiesattic.ticketfusion.com.

Sunday, October 24 Autumn Fest

10am at Avondale Estates, 12 Kensington Rd. Autumn Fest is a celebration of the arts that attracts artists and art lovers to historic

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Masquerade!

3 pm at Earl Smith Strand Theatre, 117 N Park Sq NE.In the spirit of Halloween, grab your costume and come take a look back to the golden era of Tinseltown with Lon Chaney’s


Datebook

timeless performance in The Phantom of the Opera. In this 1925 silent film, the masked and facially deformed Phantom who haunts the Paris Opera House causes utter mayhem in an attempt to force management to make the woman he loves a star. Organ accompaniment performed by Ron Carter, with a live organ pops variety show and sing-along at 2:30 PM. Tickets are $7 for adults and $6 for children, students, and seniors. For tickets and information visit: www.earlsmithstrand.org

Monday October 25 Piano Party!

8 p.m. at Mixx, 1492 Piedmont Ave NE. Who doesn’t like an old fashioned piano party?! Come see accomplished pianist David Reeb as he entertains you with his musical stylings of over 1000 songs. David will accompany groups, duets, and soloist to sing. Request from the crowd can be made, and he will even play your song in the key you want! For more information visit: www.mixxatlanta.com.

Crazy Bitch Karaoke

7:30 pm Las Margaritas, 1842 Chesire Bridge Rd. From the same people that brought you the Thursday night rave, Crazy Bitch Bingo, brings you the same crazy, now on Monday. Make your way to this authentic Latin Midtown hang out, and get ready for a blast.

Tuesday, October 26 Go Balls Deep

9:30 pm at The Atlanta Eagle, 306 Ponce De Leon. Balls Deep Karaoke gives you the chance to win an assortment of prizes. Simply singing a song could win you anything from apparel to videos to bar prizes, and a lot more. Doors open at 9 pm and karaoke starts at 10 pm. For more information visit: www.atlantaeagle.com

My Big Fat Gay Bingo

7 pm at Frogs Cantina, 931 Monroe Drive NE. Make your Tuesday big, fat, and gay with this weekly bingo game and good eats at this TexMex Southwestern style cantina. For more information visit: www.frogsmidtown.com

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Cover Story

Homolicious Halloween

Homolicious Halloween Movies with Hot Guys to Die For By Mikey Rox THE COVENANT Before he was wannabe Upper East Side lothario Nate Archibald on “Gossip Girl,” Chace Crawford played Tyler Simms, a Son of Ipswich, one of five bloodlines whose firstborn male of each generation inherits “the Power,” in the “The Covenant.” What that power entails exactly is unknown, except that it gives Tyler (who is only a supporting character in the film) the ability to do neato tricks like jump from dark-andmisty elevations and land unscathed. Yawn. But what “The Covenant” lacks in supernatural spectacle it more than makes up for in smokin’ hot half-nakedness. Take the poolside scene for instance, when Tyler’s also-gifted brethren stroll in shirtless from the locker room wearing only trunk-cut suits and owning the hell out of effortless swagger. Out of the water, kiddies – it’s time for adult swim. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER It’s a crime against the gratuitous horror genre that Ryan Phillippe’s Barry didn’t escape the Fisherman’s hook in “I Know What You Did Last Summer” – or that the Fisherman couldn’t have ripped Barry’s pants off before gutting him like a trout – but at least there’s the gym scene. After an intense eight-second workout (because people born perfect require less exercise than the rest of us), Barry proceeds to the locker room where he disrobes and showers like he loves himself, only to be interrupted by a strange shadow that, wouldn’t ya know it, the dog-tag-clad Barry decides to follow. Thank you, stupid movie rules. For the next minute and a half, viewers are treated to the young Adonis weaving in and out of lockers in a tight terrycloth skirt that accentuates all the right areas. And if that’s not enough to satisfy your Phillippe fantasies, just wait until he gets pissy over his missing letterman jacket. Hell hath no fury like a post-high-school hottie scorned. 30 davidatlanta

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005) As remakes go, this 2005 update of the 1979 classic doesn’t stand out as a winner based on cinematic principles, but it does boast one quality the original didn’t: Ryan Reynolds, dripping wet, upper body a-blazin’. Reynolds plays patriarch George Lutz (whose real-life paranormal experiences in an alleged haunted house on Long Island led to the controversial 1977 book on which both films are based), who is a loving husband and a stepfather to three beautiful girls. Until, that is, he becomes possessed by an evil entity and chases the family around the house with a shotgun. Whatev, right? They probably deserved it. What matters most is that before George goes berserk, he takes a dip in the lake and exits soaked in liquid splendor, pecs and abs glistening in the moonlight, white pajama bottoms painted to his thighs. A beautiful nightmare, indeed.

TWILIGHT: NEW MOON Let’s bypass the bullshit, OK? The only redeeming quality in the “Twilight” snoozefest is Jacob Black (played by Taylor Lautner), a werewolf with a penchant for running around the Washington state backwoods in athletic shorts and sneakers – and nothing else. The first installment was a complete waste of Lautner’s talent (read: eight-pack abs and bulging biceps), but “New Moon” makes amends – and the nowlegal Lautner a star – by giving fans the goods and plenty of ’em. Already established series superstar Robert Pattinson must’ve been pissed about that one. Having to share the spotlight with an immensely better looking – and better bodied – co-star has to kill. Unless he lives by the old (if not completely manipulated) adage, “Once bitten, never shy.” One can hope.


AMERICAN PSYCHO Some stories are better left in print, but the same can’t be said for author Bret Easton Ellis’ masterpiece, “American Psycho.” This satirical tale, set in late-1980s New York City, is narrated by the film’s protagonist – and serial killer – Patrick Bateman, played deftly by crazierthan-thou Christian Bale. But while the book drags on for 416 looooong pages, the movie version runs a digestible 101 minutes, each one more triumphant than before. The film opens poignantly with Bateman taking a leak in his tighty-whiteys, performing yoga in his tightwhiteys, then showering sans tighty-whiteys. And that’s just the first 90 seconds. Fast-forward about an hour and you’ll reach what is arguably the best murderous sex scene in history. After Bateman picks up a hooker, orders an escort and returns home, he hits play on Phil Collins’ “Sussudio” and record on a video camera. Flexing and winking his way to conceitdrenched climax in the mirror, he then cannibalizes one prostitute and chases the other with a chainsaw, wearing nothing more than a pair of sneakers. Run, Bateman, run. THE LOST BOYS Before Edward Cullen, there was Michael Emerson (Jason Patric) – big brother, brooding loner and newly turned vampire. He’s sexy, for sure – because Hollywood demands it of its nightstalkers (here’s winking at you, young Keifer Sutherland) – but that’s not why the world made “The Lost Boys” the quintessential teen fang flick. For that, you can thank late heartthrob Corey Haim and that other Corey who rode his coattails. Infinitely cuter than Feldman, Haim won over fawning girls (and fey fanboys alike) with his vulnerable, adorable turn as Sam, Michael’s little bro. If his fate wasn’t sealed as the object of adolescent affection before, it was when he splish-splashed in a bubble bath while memorably belting out Clarence “Frogman” Henry’s trademark song, “Ain’t Got No Home.” Except he did – locked away in our dreams. 28 DAYS LATER Why Jim (Cillian Murphy) awakens from his coma to a desolate and destroyed London is no secret – the Rage virus has decimated the city and left him seemingly alone – but how he lost his hospital gown remains a mystery. Director Danny Boyle’s 2002 zombie-genre game changer opens with the injured bicycle

messenger locked in a room for his own safety but also very much naked. We’re talkin’ fullfrontal, uncut, in-your-face, flaccid penis action. Which is kinda sweet if you think about it. Because not only did the (probably male) nurse save him from having his face bitten off by the Infected, but it’s highly likely that he went down on him (liberties must be taken for the sake of interpretation) before the world as he knew it ended – and then cleaned up the mess. Now that’s good bedside manner. JOY RIDE Paul Walker has never chosen his roles wisely (except maybe once, when he played injured quarterback and washroom fornicator Lance Harbor in “Varsity Blues”), and “Joy Ride” is an almost 10-year-old testament to his permanent C-List status. The plot begins with Walker’s character, Lewis Thomas, pining for childhood friend Venna – which would have been half believable if he had the hots for anybody else besides bizzaro Helen Hunt lookalike Leelee Sobieski – who he agrees to pick up on his way home from college after she announces her recent breakup with her boyfriend. Road trip! Major bumps ensue, of course, the best of which come when big-rig-driving serial killer Rusty Nail orders Lewis and his brother, Fuller (Steve Zahn), to strip down and enter a busy Nebraska diner. Obediently, the boys – front bits covered by crossed hands – do as they’re told, exposing their plump, pale backsides to uptight and unsuspecting patrons. Bottoms up. JEEPERS CREEPERS 2 Remember when you were in high school, riding home from the big game with your basketball buddies, when all of a sudden the bus gets a flat, the team removes their shirts and lines up shoulder-to-shoulder to catch some rays on the roof? What, that never happened? It would have if you attended whatever podunk educational establishment these meatheads never made it back to. It goes without saying that you would have been eaten by The Creeper too, but not without first watching him tear the clothes off your friends and devour their body parts. Lacking the scare factor of the original – and the rose-tattooed torso of Justin Long, although he does make a cameo – this 2003 sequel gives back in homoerotic tension what it’s missing in terror. Like, for instance, that the team is called the Bannon Bantams and they chant about “fighting cocks.” Or that they pee together in an open cornfield while accusing each other of being queer. Or that they talk about sniffing jockstraps. And gay bars. And swinging dicks. Yep, it’s all in there. 31 davidatlanta


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Dear Momma Mona, I thought about your column when I heard about Tyler Clementi on TV. You have been very passionate about this topic and it really hit home with Tyler’s suicide. Thank you for talking about gay issues and offering sound advice. Robert T. Dear Momma Mona, I have to say that I was not so much interested in reading about some of the write-ins about how difficult it was for them to come out because I did not relate. My coming out was pretty natural in my family, which was just me and my mom. But now with the media attention on that guy who committed suicide because he was filmed with another male really got to me. This is not a topic I had heard people talk out loud about until now. This IS serious stuff! Thanks for pulling this out of people so the rest of us can learn. I’ll pay closer attention to your column now.

Re p o n s e

Kyle M. Dear Robert T. and Kyle M., Thank YOU for writing in and sharing your thoughts because if there is one, there are many others who share the same thought. And yes, coming out is oftentimes a paramount transition especially when the hetero norms within the family and the immediate community are strong and not

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accepting of alternative norms. Coming out is a personal and private decision, just as is any other thing personal and private. And damn anyone who seeks to hurt or embarrass another just for the fun of it! Other issues this particular situation brings to light is bullying and privacy. With new technology, there is oftentimes a lag in etiquette, policy and procedure. Poor Tyler and many others who are the target of arrogant bullies have experienced and continue to experience what may seem like intolerable pain and harassment. I’m glad to see more visibility and negative labeling of these people who do not play nice. While my sharing is not about bullying or privacy issues, it is about new technology…….well sort of. Once upon a time,… when I was in a new relationship with a guy that wore contact lens (new technology then), he did not have his lens in while he was eating a bowl of cereal at my home. I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t have the wherewithal to point out that the cereal had those little squiggly worm-type things squirming around. I know. Horrible of me. But I did not want him to think poorly of me for having that sort of thing going on in my pantry! Besides, aren’t those things considered extra protein in some parts of the world? You’ll be glad to know that I began transferring any opened pantry packages into zipper-sealed baggies after that morning! The guy didn’t last but the usual 10-months anyway. What is it about 10-months?

R e sp o n se

Reader Responses

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La Nota Rosa

LA PRINCIPIANTE... by Luis Chiruco

Si aun eres virgen y estas a punto de iniciarte, o alguien te tiene entre ojos y en uno de estos dias, segun las miradas que te lanza, sabes que te hara suyo, o para cuando llegue la GRAN ocasion… ten presente estas recomendaciones, mas que consejos, que es posible que te sirvan. (Me dirijo a quienes vayan a actuar como PASIVOS, principalmente y a quienes no deseen ser violados, que eso ya es otra cosa. Tambien y especialmente, a los mas jovencitos y a los mas estrechos y a aquellos activos que deseen penetrar a primerizos o de culito muy nuevo, para que junto con gozarlos, hagan, permitan, que ellos tambien lo disfruten. -Lo primero que debes hacer es darte antes un buen baño, de mucha espuma, con sales relajantes y con un buen gel aromatizante. -No te enjuagues mucho y dejate secar por el aire ambiente, mas que con la toalla, asi tu piel conservara el aroma de la espuma.. -Nunca laves tu culo con jabones ni espumas, si estas en la bañera, que el agua te toque pero no lo refriegues. Para el culo, lo mejor es el agua pura y lo mas cercana a la temperatura ambiente. (No olvides de lavarlo siempre despues de la defecacion, asi no conservara bacterias que producen sudores malolientes y conservara su olor natural que a algunos amantes los pone a 1000). -Los pies debes tenerlos siempre limpios, hurgar bajo las uñas y refregar con esponja entre los dedos, un “patas al hombro”, con pies malolientes es una experiencia ingrata y totalmente “matapasiones”. -No te depiles el culo, salvo que tu amante te lo pida expresamente. -IMPORTANTE: no olvides defecar (cagar) antes. VAMOS AL HECHO… -Lo primero es estar relajados. Por lo mismo es mejor buscar un buen sitio donde estar tranquilos, con la privacidad necesaria y la tranquilidad de que nadie los oira ni menos entrara sorpresivamente cuando te tengan “enclavado”. -La hora tambien es importante. La mejor suele ser la noche. O la hora de la siesta que a muchos les exacerba la libido y el ambiente alrededor suele ser tranquilo y relajado. 44 davidatlanta

-Acaricia a tu amante. Ponlo no a mil sino a 1.000.000, porque si sufres, asi acabara mas pronto. -En el momento en que te vaya a penetrar, lubricale muy bien el pene. -Luego, te pones lube.. -No te pongas en ninguna otra posicion para la primera pene-tracion (nunca mejor dicho) que “de ladito”, de costado!!!, porque asi manejaras tu mismo la entrada. -Levanta un poco una pierna para que se te abra mejor el ojete. -NO OLVIDES USAR SIEMPRE FORRO, salvo que estes ABSOLUTAMENTE seguro de que ambos son virgenes. A partir de esa primera vez, SIEMPRE, debeis usarlos, mira que “nadie sabe…”, lo que el otro haga por fuera. -Tienes que instruir a tu ACTIVO penetrante, de modo que el dirija su nabo enhiesto y ojalo cabezon (porque los de mucha punta pero cuerpo mas grueso no te dejan nunca de doler), guiandolo con un dedo por delante, de modo que sea la punta del dedo la que penetre primero, como quien dice, “abriendo paso”. -Que mientras lo vaya haciendo no pare de moverse, atras-adelante, dentro-fuera… o sea, un mete-saca, lento, suave, con cada vez MAS fuerza, de modo que en cada arremetida, entre un poco mas. -Que no inicie los movimientos del coito sino hasta que ambos sientan que el glande llego hasta donde pudo entrar… o sea, hasta que sus testiculos (bolas, huevos, pelotas, etcetcetc.) bailen en tu entrepierna (uno de los placeres mas deliciosos dada la sensibilidad de esa zona en los hombres. -Si te esta doliendo mucho porque el instrumento de la primera pene-tracion es muy voluminoso (o sea, tiene una tremenda pija ,cosa mas rica!!!), entonces qudarse quietecitos un momento, hasta que la dilatacion sea suficiente, y eso vaya calmando el dolor. -Luego te pones panza abajo, sobre una almohada que te llegue hasta la entrepierna, de modo que puedas abrirlas mucho y que a el no le impida, la dichosa almohada, clavarte lo que te gusta mas… muy a fondo. -Una vez, hecho todo lo anterior, pueden coger como locos…got leche?

LA NOTA ROSA IS NOT PRODUCED OR EDITED BY DAVID MAGAZINE.


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The Brent Star Report

What a HAPPY Pride! This year during PRIDE weekend when we greeted each other with “happy pride”, we meant it! Well, at least from the angle where I viewed it. Like at Piedmont Park where all the vendors and concerts and ‘carrying-ons’ were going on, the weather was oh so sweet with it’s crystal blue skies highlighted with citrusy sun beams shining on all us skittles as if we really could taste the rainbow. All that talk about white pride vs black pride that I covered a month ago doesn’t work with this one as I saw a TRUE mix of folks. “It looks like there’s literally one of everybody here this year”, said GiGi Monroe who flew home to celebrate with us AND who performed a flawless Dolly impersonation at the Starlight Cabaret btw. One of my ‘white’ friends told me “damn there are a lot of foreigners here this year’ which tickled me pink because I was just gazing out at the crowd of people myself trying to take a guess which group of people (be it race, gender, or label) was the ‘majority’ and it really wasn’t…except just ‘gay people’…HAPPY gay people…and I saw some nosey str8 folks too. It seemed that though it was less vendors, it was more people there than the Dogwood Festival. Speaking of vendors, I decided to indulge in a “fried snickers bar”. It was AMAZING! I wish I could get that anytime, especially when I have the munchies at night, but anyway that’s how I felt about this year’s pride. Just like the chocolate from the snickers bar, all the negative skepticism of this year’s pride being slow just melted away as I enjoyed all the tasty nuts. Yea, some felt there wasn’t enough advertisement and PRIDE just snuck up on us. I mean, usually you would see those bright rainbow flags lined along 10th street and Piedmont as if giving this city a big heads up for a huge fag explosion or something. I didn’t even see it advertised in the bars, didn’t hear any of the emcees announce it, even Facebook was full of crickets. So yea, I too was kind of worried that it was going to be tumbleweeds. But all that changed for me Thursday when I performed at Burkharts for Princess Charles’ weekly FASHIONISTAS. It was packed! We (the entertainers) were a bit surprised but child we performed our ass-es off for those pride ‘happy’ coins…you betta’ ask somebody. Then the next day, Joes on Juniper was stupid packed---especially on Saturday, I heard it was worse than hwy 285 up in there

(285 on a Friday!). Club owner Joel of club Amsterdam said he had 700 folks on Friday and 600 on Saturday (damn!!!). And a loyal worker, Tony, from Heretic gave me the scoop and said they had over 1200 people between Friday and Saturday. At this point I was like WHERE are these ppl coming from, it’s like extras from a movie or something that was waiting on their cue. And you should already know Blakes and Burkharts remained packed the whole weekend. Even the Jungle, with it’s fun CANDLYLAND theme, was packed despite it’s $20/more cover. But even with all this positive reinforcements, I still wasn’t so sure about the turnout of the parade because I heard NO announcement about THAT except when this magazine did the line up of events. Well, it was people everywhere! And I just want to take a second to THANK YOU ALL for screaming my name as I literally ‘sashayed’ in the parade. At first, it took me a minute, I thought yall were screaming for the float behind me because I’m thinking I know THAT many ppl don’t know me, but yea it wasn’t until the float behind me got held up at a red light was when i figured out I was getting love from the crowd. It was a good parade but for some reason there were a lot of church floats. I heard some say they wanted to see more floats from the bars. My thought on that is some of the bars owners probably wanted to sit this one out this year from being burnt over the years watching all their hard work get washed away in the rain. Damn, because this would have been THE year to do it. And of course the Starlight cabaret was PACKED as usual this year or atleast much bigger than last year. Everyone pulled together and did what we know to do best, have fun and being HAPPY! Until next week, don’t read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report! Where to catch Brent Star: Tuesdays at SHOUT, Saturdays at Tijuana Garage, Thursdays and Sundays once a month at Burkharts an d everywhere else that pays!



Horoscopes Aries

Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces

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You have got to consider everyone else’s feelings this week -- more than your own, anyway. That’s not a permanent situation by any means, but it could lead to a permanent friendship or two.

Jazz up your schedule with an impromptu party or some banter that comes from nowhere -- your coworkers, fellow students or family are sure to appreciate the break in their routines. That big brain of yours is throbbing with info -- and you need to start broadcasting! It’s a really good time for you to engage with that new hottie or some friend of a friend who seems interesting.

You should see if you can get your partner (or roommate or friend) to get off your back for a minute so you can really talk. It’s not easy, but you can navigate the issues with grace.

People are definitely on your side right now, so you may want to seize the opportunity to push your side of the argument a little further. You could also just revel in the good vibes and have a good time. You need to show off a little right now -- so break out of your routines and show your people you can be unpredictable! Your energy is just right for making life a little crazier for everyone involved.

You have an real eye for beauty lately that helps you in your love life, your career and any other aspect of your life that needs attention. See if you can get others to see things the way you do! Your unconscious mind is working overtime, but it’s causing all kinds of little blips in your perceptions. Don’t freak out -- it’s just a sign that you’ve got more going on than anyone realizes.

Take extra time this week to prepare for what’s coming up. You can see that it’s a big deal, but you can manage anything if you use your resources properly. Take a second look at an old problem. You need to jump ahead of the crowd in some way, though you may not feel fully supported yet. That’s okay -- you can push yourself a little harder, if need be. Things are looking up! Try to get together with someone from your past -- you never know when someone who used to be close wants to try again. Your great social energy guarantees good results if you make a move now. Your old baggage has to go -- so dump it somewhere! You need to pick up the pace and try to get your love life or career back on track, and that can only happen once you break those old chains.


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Chaparral - Fridays


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Atlanta A-Z

by David C. Muller

EPISODE NINETEEN:

U is for

Uncut

Once upon a time Luke went to a palm reader in Gwinnett County. The palm reader told him, “You must move to Atlanta, Luke, for you will find love there.”

Luke met a new friend named ‘Vesuvius St. Rene’ at a Gay Pride event in Atlanta roughly two weeks earlier. Vesuvius St. Rene was a mysterious character that came up to Atlanta from somewhere deep down in the dark swampy bayous of Louisiana. Unaccustomed to the bright lights of a big city like Atlanta and, unlike Luke and Luke’s best friend Gregory, Vesuvius was unable to satisfy his appetite with alcohol and tacos. Vesuvius had to set out in secret after dark, long after the City of Atlanta had passed out for the night, in order to dine at his leisure. Decades earlier back in the late 1980s, Vesuvius St. Rene traveled to Atlanta to visit esteemed acquaintances in Cabbagetown. He remembered from that trip years ago a particular swath of Piedmont Park that had been a popular late-night cruising spot fashionable with local homosexuals in search of anonymous gay sex and so, long after midnight on Wednesday, Vesuvius wandered aimlessly into the grassy plains of Piedmont Park. “I should have better luck and skill than this!” Vesuvius St. Rene chastised himself, “Where am I going, wandering amongst the shrubbery in an urban center like this? I was born in Italy, for God’s sakes, but now I’m reduced to this?” Vesuvius wanted to kick his own shins, “Next thing you know, I’ll be feasting on live bovines out on the 54 davidatlanta

bloody dairy farm!” Carnal thoughts made Vesuvius St. Rene hungry for meat; how he would’ve given anything to suck on a big long, engorged meaty sausage filled with hot, juicy blood right then and there! Yet, in the moon-lit depths of Piedmont Park, there was not just a breeze but policeman; undercover cops; hot sexy uniformed men armed to the teeth with firearms and pepper spray and handcuffs. Vesuvius could smell the stench of law enforcement and pedestrian safety as he moved across the darkened expanses of the night green. Piedmont Park was well lit and he was horny, yet not horny enough to engage in an activity likely to offend the good citizen-souls of American Christendom. Vesuvius thus fled from the park, he winged his way out of the green center of Midtown and, on Thursday, he flew up to the Heretic; “Papi has no cover!” Havana Heat permeated Café Con Leche well underway; Vesuvius St. Rene loved ‘muchachos go-go y shooter boys calientes’ and the live bongos. Vesuvius was very fond of Latino men, especially native Spanish-speakers from Honduras, El Salvador, Panama, Colombia, Guatemala, the Dominican Republic, Cuba, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Nicaragua, Mexico, Chile, Belize, Paraguay, Uruguay and Peru. On Friday, Vesuvius positioned himself deep in


the dark, cozy confines of Chapparal on Buford Highway. He feasted his eyes on a young man dressed in tight black pants and a tight, white cotton little nothing of a T-shirt. Vesuvius spoke Spanish and, with a sparkling twinkle in his eyes, he approached the young Latino and, in his own Romance tongue, he seduced the unwitting boy; his was name Ungaro. Ungaro was nineteen years old, he hailed from Montevideo and, like Vesuvius St. Rene, Ungaro spoke Spanish, Portuguese and English. Ungaro was easy to seduce; he wanted an older man, a man just like Vesuvius, to top him. Ungaro was ready to submit and he invited Vesuvius back to his place. Ungaro drove a pick-up truck and he lived in Union City; where ever the hell that is; and, in the driveway of his mother’s house, he made out with Vesuvius. “Oh, oh, mi papi, mi papi!” Ungaro spoke in italics, he was sensuously mesmerized by the hypnotic eroticism of Vesuvius St. Rene and, with pleasure, Ungaro closed his eyes and rolled his head up to the edge of his neck. Like a comely virgin, Ungaro exposed the smooth scruff of his neck to Vesuvius. Vesuvius, in turn, felt the maddening tight sprint of lust spark not only in his loins but also in his gums; he felt the lust of passion and desire everywhere, in his head, in his hands and in his teeth. Rounded, soft edges and points became blunt and globular, pointy, hard and wet. Vesuvius wanted to taste Ungaro; he wanted to strip him naked and admire his genitalia. Indeed earlier in the drive down to Union City, Vesuvius had copped a feel and had unbuckled the tight black pants of Ungaro’s jeans. Vesuvius oogled the meaty girth of Ungaro’s uncut Latin manhood but the neck; that sinewy neck, that neck succulent and only millimeters away from his mouth here and now; in a suburban driveway south of Atlanta; that naked neck of Ungaro, lit by the shimmering moon above: that aroused Vesuvius, that’s what got him hard and that’s what made Vesuvius want to taste Ungaro. “Oh, oh papi. Si, si,” Ungaro cooed like an expectant teenager, “take me, I am yours!” Vesuvius turned the head of Ungaro due northwest and felt his fangs moisten with saliva. He opened his jaw and set in to take a bite… …And then his cell phone rang… Vesuvius St. Rene rolled his eyes as he went to check his phone. Vesuvius was surprised to see who dared to call him at this late hour of the night. He was shocked when he saw the number, and that’s really why he answered his phone: “Hello, Luke?” “Did I wake you?” Luke whispered his question, “Where are you?”

ATLANTA

AtoZ

Who is ‘Vesuvius St. Rene’? If you haven’t figured it out by now, then tune in next week for… EPISODE TWENTY: “V is for Vampire” – the Halloween Special 55 davidatlanta


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S t i ck it wh ere it m

a differ akeS ence

the wOrld’S beSt reSearch and cutting edge Science iS here in atlanta.

let’S make hiV a thing Of the PaSt.

We are seeking men Who have sex With men and transgendered Women betWeen 18 and 50 years of age Who do not have hiv to join in our quest for a vaccine to combat hiv. If eligible you will participate in a study to evaluate the safety and the potential efficacy of an HIV vaccine. The vaccine does not contain HIV. You will receive $75 per study visit for your time and travel expenses to the study location in Decatur, Georgia. This study is being conducted by Dr. Mark Mulligan of the Hope Clinic of the Emory Vaccine Center, located at 603 Church Street, Decatur, GA 30030. WWW.hopeclinic.emory.edu | vaccine@emory.edu hope…be a part of it. call 877-424-hOPe (4673) to learn more.


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30 Amsterdam - Sunday Brunch 11:30am - 3pm Showtunes with a Twist 7pm 17 25 BJ Roosters - Male 34 Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am 40 33 35 Blake’s - Brunch Noon-3pm With Live Jazz – Armorettes 40 Show 8pm 36 41 Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show @ 9pm 14 Club 91 - Lions Den Legendary Sunday’s DJ Sedrick &19 DJ Brooks Felix’s - Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers 29 Friends on Ponce - Sunday Dinner 4pm Las Margaritas - All You Can Eat Brunch 11AM-3PM Model T - Falcon Football - Sunday Dinner 3:30PM 24 Tripps - Sunday Buffet 3pm Karaoke 7pm Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times 6 11 21 26 36

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3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Amsterdam - High Energy Videos 9pm Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Jealouse’s Daring Divas 11pm Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm Club 91 - RT Parties brings you Klimaxx Dance Party with Miss Sophia (go go dancers) DJ Maestro, DJ Rick, DJ Scrilla spinning on two floors all night The Eagle - DJ Dance Party Felix’s - Karaoke with Brett & Tyler Friends on Ponce - Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer Heretic - Presenting the finest dance entertainment with the best local & nationally acclaimed deejays every week! Check our ad elsewhere in David for details! 10pm LeBuzz - Saturday Night Fever Show Mary’s - Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week Mixx- Dance Party 10pm - 3am Model T - Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone! 400 Party B - Sextasy Latino Night, Divas Show and DJ Dance Sanctuary Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 7 Tripps - BBQ Cookout 1-5pm Woofs - Great Food, DrinkLIN & Good Times DB

SPRING ST.

T h u r sd a y

3 Legged Cowboy - Dance Lessons @ 8-9 - Ladies Night Amsterdam - Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special 27 Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment C BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Texas Holdem Poker @ 7p - The Shawnna Factor @ 11p Burkharts - Princess Charles - Fashionistas 11:30pm Club 91 - Customer Appreciation FREE ALL NIGHT The Eagle - Dance Music $2.50 Schnapps Felix’s - Karaoke Friends on Ponce - HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie Heretic - Style Latin Tribal Beats & Live Bongos! 10pm Las Margarita’s - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30PM LeBuzz - Ladies Night Shows Mary’s - Themed Parties Reto DJ’s Swinging Richards - 2-4-1 Night - Door Entry and VIP $10 Midtown W – Chris Coleman Presents “Indulge” 9pm-Midnight Mixx - Karaoke 9pm-1am Kamikaze Karaoke Contest 11-Midnight Model T - Robert & Michael serve up their Best! Woofs - Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”! Daily Food Specials

3 Legged Cowboy - Studs & Spurs - Shows at 10, 11, 12, and 1 Amsterdam - DJ Dance Party Bellissima - Live DJ Entertainment BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix 11pm Burkharts - Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm Club 91 - It’s Bingo Bitch Hosted by: Auntie Snickers Chaparral - Got Leche? 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers The Eagle - DJ Dance Party & Club Night Felix’s - Bartenders Ray & Cory - Serve it up! Friends on Ponce - Happy Time With Daniel and Terry Heretic - Armorettes Cabaret 3rd Saturday Of The Month 8-10PM Jungle - Party A Lo Maximo with DJ Karlitos & DJ Turz LeBuzz - Dance Party & Show Mary’s - Open 5pm - Boys Room Party - Themed Party - Love DJ Mixx - High Energy Music Videos 9pm-1am Model T - Poker Night Swinging Richards - Open 6:30pm - $10 - Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails Tripps Bar - Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch Woofs - Great Food, Drink & Good Times

W. PEACHTREE ST.

3 Legged Cowboy - Intermediate 2 Step @ 8-9 Amsterdam - Get L.I.T. All Day Specials Bellissima - Karaoke 8pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Rated R @ 11pm - Half Price Apps: ALL DAY Burkharts - Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close Club 91 - The Main Event Cabaret & Talent Show Followed By DJ Rick The Eagle - Modern Family Night $3 PBR 18 Friends on Ponce - H.U.M.P. DAY With Jeremy, Ken & Daniel Heretic - Boys Night Out Dress Code party 10pm - 3am Las Margaritas - Karaoke 8pm LeBuzz - Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase Mary’s - DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Free Hot Dogs! $3 Draft Beer – Karaoke Night Oscar’s - Totally Wicked 80s Night Tripps - Taco Night - Free Tacos 5PM Swinging Richards - $5 Cover! Free VIP Lounge Entry Woofs - Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm

S a tu rd a y

3 Legged Cowboy - Family Poker 7:30pm Amsterdam - Showtunes 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Twisted Trivia @ 9pm - starring The Lady Shabazz Burkharts - Karaoke 11:30pm Club 91 - Swagg Tuesday’s The Eagle - Karaoke $3.75 Well Drinks Felix’s - Smirnoff Martini Night Friends on Ponce - Enchanted Evnings With Ken & Donnie Heretic - Gay Film Festival with Paul @ 9:30pm. Las Margaritas - Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm LeBuzz - Talent Search & Karaoke Mary’s - CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm Mixx - Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm Model T - Always a Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best! Oscar’s - Show Tunes Tuesdays 8PM Swinging Richards - No Cover Tuesdays! Woofs - Free WII from 4:00 till close - Industry Night!!

S u n da y

Amsterdam - Video Request Night - Industry Night 9pm BJ Roosters - Male Bar Top Dancers - 8pm-1am Blake’s - Drag on The Edge 11pm with Alexandria Martin Burkharts - Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close Club 91 - DJ Scrilla with MC Pretty Pandora’s Box (@91 Below) The Eagle - Bare Chest Night $3PBR Felix’s - Free Pool! Industry Night Friends on Ponce - Afternoons with Jasen 2pm Frogs - $1 Tacos 6-9pm Heretic - Brian May is pouring up stiff drinks - 10pm to 3 am LeBuzz - Man Dance Cabaret - GOGO Dancers - Drink Specials 8pm Mary’s - Open 5pm - DJ Va Jay Jay Spins Mixx - Live Pianist 9pm - 1am Model T - Service Industry Night! Discounted Drinks! Woofs - Texas Hold’em 8pm

NORTHSIDE DR.

We d n e s d a y

Tu e sd a y

M o n d ay

Bartab Nightlife Guide

See Guide on Page 66 for Locations 10

12

PONC

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Gay Atlanta Guide 400

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1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta

20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com

2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372

3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark 4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com 5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025 6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com 7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy. 770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce-atl.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com 15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288 16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com 17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 jungleclubatlanta.com 18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com 19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com

22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 www.modeltatlanta.com 23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585 24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478

PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 40. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482 41. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815

Atlanta Tourist Spots

A. Atlanta Botanical Gardens B. Atlanta History Center C. Atlantic Station D. Centennial Olympic Park E. CNN - Atlanta F. Fox Theater G. Georgia Aquarium H. Georgia State Capitol I. High Museum of Art J. Margaret Mitchell House K. The Atlanta Opera and The Atlanta Ballet L. The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra M. Virginia-Highlands N. World of Coca-Cola O. Zoo Atlanta

26. Oscar’s 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE www.oscarsatlanta.com 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com 31. 91 91 Broad Street SW 404.581.0577 www.91below.com

GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 32. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456

33. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506 34. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264

RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS

35. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989 36. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 37. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. 404.873.2264 www.boynextdoor.biz 38. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082

through

39. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-633-7491

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Bitch Session When you tell me you haven’t slept in three days-I hardly believe it’s because of work, especially when you can’t keep your eyes still for more than a quarter of a second. Can someone please inform the pride committee that they do not own the word PRIDE, ATLANTA, or PARADE. It is pronounced “government” not “gumment.” Just because you graduated from school in Alabama doesn’t mean you get to act uneducated. Multiple personalities means there is more of you to love.

Why are lesbians the worst tippers? Everyone else tips 18-20%; why are you ladies in the 1113% range? You should pause every four minutes in a conversation to check to see if anyone else has said a word. If not, shut the fuck up-BITCH!! If you are satisfied with being a second-class citizen without the same rights as your neighbor, then you are a sorry pathetic little bitch. Why do shady people always find a career as a “publicist” or “political consultant?” I guess some industries are a natural fit for smoothtalkers and money swindlers.

Gay marriage is the last thing you queens need to worry about. Try working on learning how to be monogamous first!

Open relationship or not, real love means not wanting to sleep with other people- much less actively doing it.

I’m all for dirty talk, but you have got issues. Also, for the record, no, my father and his friends did not teach me “how to suck good dick.”

Why do straight people always want to know who the “man” is and who the “woman” is in gay relationships? Can’t we both be men?

Should I tell my neighbor about all of the guys that visit his boyfriend at home he’s at work during the day? Our server tonight is in drag-yet another reason why I love Pride! Dear Pizza Man, would you please shut the FUCK UP!! Thanks! It’s really annoying when people go up to a bar and don’t know what they want to drink. It is also annoying when they order a few drinks and NOT have ANY form of payment ready. Reallydo you think they are going to give it to you for free? AND tip damn it! You are not even a customer AND I don’t even take this from customers!! I wonder if she knows she looks like a drag queen from the 80’s?!

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Come on now if a bartender buys you a drink then TIP Bitch! It was going to cost you six dollars anyway!

Get your filthy hands off of me and my boyfriend, bitch. Your advances are indicative of your desperate need for validation. Take your issues and project them elsewhere. I never wrote that I wanted to just lie there and have the top do everything. I wrote that there are certain things a top should be doing to a bottom exclusively. If you are cruising Craigslist then you are trashy person. Go out and step into a bar-actually deal with people face to face instead of hiding behind a stolen photo of someone with six-pack abs and seven inches. You not fooling anybody!! How come the one time that I walk in on two guys having oral sex in my building’s laundry room, the two guys look like Dick Cheney and Peter Griffith?




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