David MagazineIssue 684

Mark your votes! Oscars Ballot p61

Issue 684 Feb 22-29 | 2012

Head-to-Head Guide to the

84th Annual Academy Awards Meryl shines as Iron Lady Maggie

David | Atlanta Issue 684 | Feb 22-29, 2012

David Magazine

650 Hamilton Ave. Suite H Atlanta, GA 30312 404.418.8901

Contents 8

WTF!?!?!

10

Scene@ Blakes

12

Men Seeking Men

14

WTF!?!?! Tidbits

18

84th Annual Academy Awards Head-to-Head

24

Queer Cinema Rundown

28

Top 10 Tracks | Protect Your Monster

30

Brent Star

31

A Couple of Gays | Bitter Girl

34

In Deep with Peter Depp

36

Scene@ BJ Roosters

37

La Nota Rosa

38

BarTab Map

40

The Iron Ladies

50

BarTab Calendar

52

What A Girl Wants

54

Classifieds

56

Fairyscopes

58

Adult Classifieds

60

Bitch Session

61

Tear-out Oscars Ballot

STAFF David Thompson | Publisher david@davidatlanta.com Maximillian Corwell | Editor-in-Chief max@davidatlanta.com Joseph Brownell | Entertainment Editor joseph@davidatlanta.com Kiki Carr | Art Director kiki@davidatlanta.com Chip O’ Kelley | Sales chip@davidatlanta.com Sales Team Steve Tyrrell steve@davidatlanta.com Bob Swanson bob@davidatlanta.com Elijah Sarkesian elijah@davidatlanta.com Writers Rian Ashlei Chris Azzopardi Luis Chiruco Richard Marshall Stasha Oakley Troy Ordami Elijah Sarkesian Dustin Shelby Brent Star Tristan Timothy Lucas Witherspoon Randall Carpenter | Photographer Joseph Brownell | Webmaster Jamie Scarbrough | IT National Ad Rep Rivendell Media 908.232.2031 Add us on Facebook!

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WTF!?!?

Saying Goodbye H

by Lucas Witherspoon

ow does one even begin to write an article describing Whitney’s legacy? I don’t know, but I’m about to attempt it.

As I’m sure everyone knows, Whitney Houston was found dead in a bathtub on February 11 at the Beverly Hills Hilton after visiting Brandy and Monica at their rehearsals for Clive Davis’ pre-Grammys party.

Police pronounced her dead a little before 4 PM PST. TMZ reported two days later that the L.A. County Coroner’s Office informed Whitney’s family that she likely died as a result of mixing a combination of prescription drugs with alcohol, as there was not enough water in her lungs for her to have drowned, and that she was likely already dead before her head was submerged.

It’s a tragic end for one of the most prolific and prominent artists of the past three decades who was unarguably bestowed with one of the most iconic and astounding voices in music history.

Whitney’s fame and career may have taken hits over the past few years, turning her into more of a tabloid fixture than a musical legend, but her list of accomplishments is nonetheless staggering. Guinness World Records cites her as the most-awarded artist of all time, having won over 400 awards in her lifetime, including 30 Billboard Music Awards, 22 American Music Awards, 6 Grammys, and 2 Emmys. She is the only artist to chart seven consecutive No. 1 Billboard Hot 100 hits.

She is the only female artist to have two number-one Billboard 200 Album awards on the Billboard year-end charts, and the second artist ever to receive the designation,

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behind only Elton John. Her second studio album (Whitney) became the first album by a female artist to debut at number one on the Billboard 200 albums chart. She’s sold over 170 million albums worldwide. Her last album, I Look to You, became her fourth chart-topping album, debuting at number one and going on to garner platinum status, thus extending her lead as the female artist with the most cumulative weeks at the number one position. She has influenced a fleet of international superstars: Céline Dion, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera, Toni Braxton, Britney Spears, Jennifer Hudson, Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Kelly Clarkson, P!nk, Jessica Simpson -- the list is practically endless.

A lot of Whitney’s success is due in part to the soundtrack from the film The Bodyguard, which is far and away the best-selling soundtrack of all time, having sold more than 17 million copies in the U.S. alone, and an unprecedented 45 million copies worldwide.

The album cemented Whitney as the first act ever (repeat: first EVER) to sell more than one million copies in a week, and its lead single, Whitney’s infamous cover of the Dolly Parton classic “I Will Always Love You”, is the bestselling single by a female in music history.

We’ve often heard Whitney described as “incomparable,” and that’s because it’s exactly what she is. There is no one else to compare her to; she set the bar for everyone else in so many ways. Her demise was tragic, but her life and career were magnificent. I think Barbra Streisand put it best when she said, of Whitney’s death: “How sad her gifts could not bring her the same happiness they brought us.”

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Men Seeking Men

Great Expectations

A

by Tristan Timothy

close friend once told me that if I never expect too much I could never be hurt. He explained that my feelings of disappointment in a partner or relationship were directly related to me expecting too much. To this I replied, “Bullshit.”

First and foremost I expect a lot in a relationship because I give a lot in a relationship. I don’t want to be sugar babied and taken care of. I would only ask that a partner give what I am willing to give.

Keeping my expectations high has also saved me from various downfalls that I see my friends’ relationships succumbing to.

Granted I’ve dated someone who was doing porn behind my back but he was THE BEST in bed and at that time that was all my expectation called for.

I recently got into some hot water with the

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Gay Dating in the City boyfriend when I expressed pointed disappointment at a gift he had gotten me. It wasn’t the gift entirely but the effort he put into it, which I felt was not equal to the efforts put into the gifts I got him. Being confronted about it was something completely foreign to him, as he was taught that you never disgrace a gift. My upbringing was a little different and following in the footsteps of my mother I felt no remorse in saying that his gift was not up to snuff. (Ok so this may sound cold hearted but I should also point out that he bought two gifts for himself that were grand and way more expensive than the one I received.)

This experience forced me to take another look at my expectations. More importantly it made me take another look at my partners.

Our outlooks on this gift-giving situation were in completely different hemispheres.

While I went above and beyond, he did just enough to let me know how he felt. We were both catering to what we would have wanted but not really thinking about the other person. So while my friend was on the right path, I think that in the future I’ll keep my high expectations, but more importantly I’ll make them known.

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WTF!?!? Tidbits

After being called out by Miranda Lambert for being a woman-abusing,

Auto-Tuned douchebag, Chris Brown took to Twitter, where he said: “strange how we pick and choose who to hate! Let me ask u this.Our society is full of rappers (which I listen to)who have sold drugs (poisoning) “But yet we glorify and imitate everything they do. Then right before the worlds eyes a man shows how he can make a Big mistake and “Learnt from it, but still has to deal with day to day hatred! You guys who to hate!!! But guess what???

“HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY. Now! That’s the ultimate FUCK OFF.” A message to Chris-look-at-me-I-can-mimic-Michael-Jackson’s-dance-moves-anddecently-hold-a-note-Brown: shut the fuck up.

Shakira shared a Facebook post that suggested she was almost killed by a sea lion. The jokes write themselves.

People are apparently pissed off that flags are to be flown at half-staff in honor of Whitney Houston, given her druggie past. Sorry, I don’t care how many hits of crack Whitney’s taken, she is still a legend in my book. Plus, it’s New Jersey. Whitney is the most respectable person to come out of that state.

Nancy Grace has insinuated that someone killed Whitney Houston.

I vote we kill whoever told her that hairstyle was acceptable.

Billy Bob Thornton is making a movie about his marriage to Angelina Jolie… meaning he’s really just ripping off The Walking Dead.

In other news, Lil Kim is still mad at Flock of Seagulls being pissed off at *NSYNC.

Nicki Minaj. It’s as pathetic as

by Lucas Witherspoon

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84th Annual

Academy Awards

L

ast year’s hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway were totally panned. This year’s Academy Awards saw its first host, Eddie Murphy, quit amid the gay-slur controversy surrounding his pal Brett Ratner and now we’re stuck with Billy Crystal (just hoping this doesn’t mean a 2012 release of City Slickers 3… in 3-D). Whether you watch the Oscars or not you can count on David Magazine to be your unofficial (and snarky) host for the Red Carpet and Awards so be sure to follow David Magazine on Facebook www.facebook.com/ davidatlantamagazine.

And to start off the snark-fest, we offer you 2 of David Magazine’s film buffs going head-to-head in their predictions for the winners, the losers who should be winners, and worthy Hollywood players missing from the nominations in the first place. Take it away, Joseph & Elijah!

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Best Picture The Artist The Descendants Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close The Help Hugo Midnight in Paris Moneyball The Tree of Life War Horse Joseph: Guess my prediction would be for The Artist but it’s really hard to select a film from this list because I don’t feel like any of them were truly great.

Hollywood likes to toot its own horn but I think if The Artist had been made, say 30 years from now, it wouldn’t even be a contender. It’s like a 2-D Disney film winning Best Animated Feature in 2027. It’s all about nostalgia.

As for The Help, it should have been titled “White People Make Everything Better… Again.” Don’t get me wrong (I’m all about helping white people assuage their guilt), the movie was a good movie, it just wasn’t great.

I was severely disappointed in The Descendants. After the heart-warming, laugh-riot that was Sideways a few years ago, I had higher hopes for Alexander Payne’s tale of a father trying to keep his family together amidst tragedy.

Midnight in Paris was an interesting Woody Allenish concept but Owen Wilson annoys the hell out of me.

If there had been a different lead actor, this might’ve made for a better film.

I’m sorry but throughout Moneyball I couldn’t help but think “Damn Brad Pitt looks more like a monkey as he gets older”. This against-the-odds type film has been done so many ways, I just don’t think the subject matter was strong enough to warrant a feature length film.

from The Artist

from The Artist Tree of WHAT-THE-HELL-IS-THIS-MOVIEABOUT??!!!!! Enough said.

At press time I’ve yet to see Hugo or War Horse but my personal favorite from the list was Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. Sure 9/11 is going to be the go-to American tragedy for years to come in filmmaking but I guess I really relate to the confusion, anxiety and utter desperation protagonist Oskar goes through. Plus, who doesn’t love Sandra Bullock?

Will Win: The Artist Should Win: None

Elijah: First off, let’s observe just how boring the field is this year. There are some legitimately good nominees this year, as well as some headscratchers — I’m looking at you, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close — but nothing that really stands out as an exciting entry. A tenth nominee in the field might have helped, especially if the choice was, say, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo or Drive.

That being said, it’s inevitable that The Artist will win this year. It’s won the bulk of the precursors.

It’s unique in the category (black & white and silent!). And it has Harvey Weinstein pushing for a win. Unfortunately, it’s also a very slight film. If it were competing with the classics of the silent era, it wouldn’t stand a chance. This year, though, no other film really has a chance.

If there’s an upset, though, don’t be completely surprised if the award goes to The Help. It fits into Hollywood’s formula for dealing with racism (see: Crash), plus it’s the only box-office winner among this year’s crop of nominees.

Will Win: The Artist Should Win: The Artist Should Be Nominated: Drive

Best Director Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist Alexander Payne, The Descendants Martin Scorsese, Hugo Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life Joseph: While I’m definitely not a director, I think Michel Hazanavicius had his work cut out for him directing a silent film. I’m pretty sure he could be the winner in this category but the dark horse could be Martin Scorsese.

Hazanavicius won the Director’s Guild Award, while Scorsese won the Golden Globeeither way both films are about films and we know these are the kind of films Hollywood likes.

I agree David Fincher should be included here but not because I was a fan of The Social Network.

I found the Facebook film to be utterly BORING but he did an amazing job directing the American adaptation of Dragon.

Will Win: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist Should Win: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist

Elijah: Going again by the precursors, this year’s award should go to Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist. He won the Director’s Guild Award over bigger names like Martin Scorsese and Woody Allen, and the DGA has a higher percentage of accuracy than any other precursor in any other category. Honestly, whatever qualms one may have about The Artist, it’s hard to argue against Hazanavicius’ work. Still, I wouldn’t rule out a win for Woody Allen – Midnight In Paris is the highest-grossing film of his career, and the Academy might want to reward him here. Personally, though, I would’ve loved to see a nomination for David Fincher’s work in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, which was just as award-worthy as his work last year in The Social Network.

Will Win: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist Should Win: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist Should Be Nominated: David Fincher, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo davidatlanta | 19

Best Actor Demián Bichir, A Better Life George Clooney, The Descendants Jean Dujardin, The Artist Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Brad Pitt, Moneyball Joseph: Congrats for the obscure inclusion of Demián Bichir in this category. For those who haven’t seen A Better Life, Bichir fights as an illegal immigrant to give his son more chances than he had. Personally, I’m still not sure how two Hollywood heavyweights managed to wrangle their way into this category but I’m not going to mention any names… cough, cough, Pitt and Clooney. First, I don’t think that Pitt’s performance resembled anything Oscar-worthy and that’s not because I’m one of those sports are icky gays… I actually like baseball. I just didn’t find Moneyball to be that affecting of a film. Gary Oldman, who scores his first Oscar nomination, deftly played Mr. Smiley in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy but ultimately I think the award belongs to Jean Dujardin, who masterfully portrayed silent actor George Valentin in The Artist.

Michael Fassbender, who teamed up with Carey Mulligan in Shame, is a glaring snub in this category. While it’s quite possible that the NC-17 rating for Shame affected its chances, Academy members missed the boat on Fassbender’s arousing portrayal of a sex addict.

Will Win: Jean Dujardin, The Artist Should Win: Jean Dujardin, The Artist Should Be Nominated: Michael Fassbender, Shame

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Elijah: Let’s look at the nominees. No, seriously – let’s look at them. Swap out Gary Oldman for Ryan Gosling, and you’d have a full field of extremely attractive men.

As for the quality of the nominees, there’s no arguing that this is a solid field. All would deserve wins, though for Oldman and Demián Bichir, the nomination will be reward enough. That narrows it down to George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Jean Dujardin. Of the three, Clooney is the only one with an Oscar at home. That doesn’t disqualify him from another win here, but I’d prefer a win for Pitt in this category. His work on screen and behind the scenes in Moneyball is remarkable.

Still, I think this is another category where The Artist will dominate.

Will Win: Jean Dujardin, The Artist Should Win: Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Should Be Nominated: Ryan Gosling, Drive or The Ides of March

Gary Oldman in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Best Actress Rooney Mara, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs Viola Davis, The Help

Michelle Williams in My Week With Marilyn Joseph: I’m not on the Viola Davis bandwagon here. While she’s the heavy favorite to win, I thought Steep gave a much more affecting performance as Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady and I’m rooting for Streep. As for the rest of the nominees, Rooney Mara has no place being in this category. While I enjoyed the American version of Dragon, I thought that Noomi Rapace did a much better job in the Swedish films highlighting the emotionally contradicting title character. I thought Close’s performance in Nobbs was emotionally stunted but that is quite possibly because she’s had this character up her sleeve for over 30 years. Michelle Williams is my darling and every year I want to root for her (Blue Valentine, Brokeback Mountain) but I don’t think this is the role I’d like for her to win her first Academy Award for… though she definitely deserves one (next year, girl).

Will Win: Viola Davis, The Help Should Win: Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady Give This Girl an Oscar: Michelle Williams, For ANYTHING

Elijah: Did you know that it’s been nearly thirty years since Meryl Streep won an Oscar? She has 17 nominations in all, but the only two that she’s won were early in her career. It’s about time she wins a third Oscar…but not this time. Her work in The Iron Lady is good, but that’s what I’d say if Streep wanted to play Batman (hat tip to Modern Family for that idea). While I’d have no problem with Streep winning this time, I think the award will go to the (very deserving) Viola Davis, who easily managed to rise above the average-ness of The Help and provided another in a long line of standout performances. If I had one problem with the nomination, it’s that Davis’ performance feels more like a supporting performance in an ensemble piece than a lead.

As for the rest of the also-rans, I do wish Glenn Close had a shot for Albert Nobbs, though that’s more for Close’s body of work than for Nobbs specifically. And while it’s hard to argue with the field, I would’ve loved to see a nomination for Charlize Theron in Young Adult.

Will Win: Viola Davis, The Help Should Win: Viola Davis, The Help Should Be Nominated: Charlize Theron, Young Adult

Christopher Plummer in Beginners

Best Supporting Actor Nick Nolte, Warrior Jonah Hill, Moneyball Christopher Plummer, Beginners Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn Max von Sydow, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Oh yeah… and Nick Nolte? Warrior? How many people even saw this film except to see Tom Hardy, shirtless?

Will Win: Christopher Plummer, Beginners Should Win: Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Elijah: Academy Award nominee Jonah Hill.

Those are five words I never thought I’d see together. It’s just as well, though. Christopher Plummer has this award in the bag, and it’s a well-deserved win for him, too. A Hollywood veteran playing a man coming out of the closet late in life? Yeah, the role just begs for an Oscar, and if anyone upsets Plummer at this point, it’ll be Max von Sydow, if for no other reason than the long-standing tradition of giving Hollywood veterans without Oscars wins in this category.

Will Win: Christopher Plummer, Beginners Should Win: Christopher Plummer, Beginners Should Be Nominated: Albert Brooks, Drive

Carey Mulligan in Shame

Joseph: I’m sure people are scratching their heads saying wait, that guy from Superbad is nominated for an Oscar? And I thought the same thing and it was only to see Hill play a serious role that brought me to Moneyball. Although he has promise, this is definitely not the role he’ll win for. Beginners, also starring Ewan McGregor, made a small splash at theaters but Plummer’s role made waves. I definitely think the award is his this year, though I cannot discount Max von Sydow’s turn as the mute renter in Loud. This is a tight race but ultimately Plummer will get the award.

Best Supporting Actress Bérénice Bejo, The Artist Jessica Chastain, The Help Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs Octavia Spencer, The Help Joseph: This is the year that taking a dump where you’re not supposed to scores you Oscar gold. There is no doubt in my mind that when the envelope is opened that Octavia Spencer’s name is going to be called, and if they hadn’t included Jessica Chastain in this category, I would probably be all for that but Chastain truly had the better character. Chastain, who shined in Debt this year as the younger Helen Mirren and also starred in Terrance Malick’s Tree of Life, portrayed outcast Celia Foote with an affecting honesty. I didn’t even know it was her until after the film ended. Big things to come for this young lady.

I truly enjoyed Janet McTeer’s performance in Nobbs quite more than I enjoyed Glenn Close’s but in a tough year she ultimately loses out.

Will Win: Octavia Spencer, The Help Should Win: Jessica Chastain, The Help Should Be Nominated: Carey Mulligan, Shame

Octavia Spencer in The Help Elijah: Do you want Octavia Spencer showing up on your doorstep with one of her special pies? I doubt Academy voters would want that, which is one reason she’s winning this award. All joking aside, Spencer’s inevitable win is worthy in a category that is historically more likely to give awards for offbeat performances; see Marisa Tomei’s win for My Cousin Vinny as the most prominent example in the category. If it were up to me, though, I’d give the win to Spencer’s costar, Jessica Chastain. Even if you leave out Chastain’s other remarkable performances this year (and God knows there were plenty of them), and you still have a standout performance here that’s worthy of the win. In fairness, though, Chastain has a shot right now at winning an Oscar (or several) for years to come, while Spencer’s win could quite possibly be her only shot ever.

Will Win: Octavia Spencer, The Help Should Win: Jessica Chastain, The Help Should Be Nominated: Carey Mulligan, Shame davidatlanta | 23

Queer Cinema Rundown W

by Joseph Brownell

hile this week’s issue devotes much of its contents to the 84th Annual Academy Awards and the big-budget films and indie darlings that were nominated for trophies, it’s important to look ahead at some queer cinema. Here are four films to keep your eyes open for in 2012.

Keep the Lights On (directed by Ira Sachs; starring Zachary Booth) — Lights was a highly buzzed film at Sundance last month and follows the tumultuous romance/relationship between Eric, a Danish filmmaker who is bankrolled by his father, and Paul, a is-he-or-isn’t-he gay man with a penchant for crack. The film follows the pair over a decade-long period in which, as anyone who has stayed together that long knows, they see a shit ton of ups and downs.

Critics have compared Lights to both Weekend and the recently-released Pariah as a film that sheds much light on the modern gay experience.

The Normal Heart (starring Mark Ruffalo , Matt Bomer and Julia Roberts) — From Ryan Murphy, the man who brought you Glee and American Horror Story, comes the adaptation of the Tony Award-winning play by Larry Kramer.

While there is no word yet when this film will go

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into production, ever since You Can Count on Me in which he starred with the delightful Laura Linney, I’ve lusted after Mark Ruffalo, so it’ll be great to see him on screen as an LGBT activist falling in love with a “closeted” New York Times fashion writer (Bomer). Remember this film is set in the 80’s because no one would believe in today’s day and age that a New York Times fashion writer was straight.

Mosquita Y Mari (directed and written by Aurora Guerrero) follows the friendship of two young Chicana high school students who stir up feelings in each other they aren’t sure how to deal with. Coming-of-age films seem to be a trend in queer cinema, but Mosquita also explores the immigrant lifestyle and the importance of family within those households thus promising to be more than just an ‘oh, wow I’m gay and now I need to come to terms with it’ film.

Jitters (available on DVD March 27th) Touted as an Icelandic Skins, is a coming-of-age film that follows 16-year-old Gabriel and his friends through the everchanging word of adolescence.

When Gabriel shares a kiss with free-spirited Marcus, his world is turned upside down and he struggles to find out who he is. This film is being released

by TLA who brought us such great gay films as Latter Days and Another Gay Movie. Visit www.davidatlanta.com for a full review of Jitters.

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Top 10 Tracks 1. #1 In Heaven — MNDR 2. Bad Girls — M.I.A.

3. Next To Me — Emeli Sandé

4. Body Work — Morgan Page feat. Tegan and Sar

5. Light Up (The World) — Yasmin feat. Shy FX & Ms. Dynamite 6. Big Mouth — Santigold

7. Give Me All Your Luvin’ — Madonna feat. M.I.A. & Nicki Minaj 8. Alive — Adrian Lux feat. The Good Natured 9. DJ Ease My Mind — Niki & The Dove 10. Mr. Wrong — Mary J. Blige

By Dustin Shelby. Check out more music at Dustin’s blog at www.echodust.com

Protect Your Monster

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by Richard Marshall

I Will ALWAYS Love Whitney Houston!

S

o a small group of friends and I decided to gather at a local diner this past Sunday to grieve over the shocking and sad news about the ultimate diva Ms. Whitney Houston while listening to a few of her hit songs from

‘Waiting to Exhale’… starting with WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD. After inhaling two shots of Hennessey, and the jukebox switching up to another hit song from her last album, I LOOK TO YOU, I thought about when I was young, I would hear about several famous great female singers whose deaths was also unexpected during their time like Billie Holiday (1959, age 44), Janis Joplin (1970 age 27), and my girl Judy Garland (1969, age 47). While those events occurred BEFORE I was born, there was no real attachment. However…I

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felt like I knew Whitney Houston and yes, her death put me through it!

I didn’t believe it at first, “I wanted to see some receipts” (as she would say). I think mainly because all of us were anticipating Whitney’s big comeback because we also knew her as a survivor (like surviving being married to Bobby Brown for over a decade, and surviving NOT slapping Diane Sawyer for being a little too cute with those drug related questions during her famous interview). STEP BY STEP, Ms. Houston has received more musical/singer awards than any other female singer to date!

But in a way, she kinda did make a “comeback”. She completed filming the remake to SPARKLE (I will be on the front row when it comes out) and I hate to say it, but her ‘death’ is her rebirth!

ALL AT ONCE the world quickly fell back in love with her the night she died. Now everyone is again talking about her famous ‘angelic voice’ and remembering her very promising beginnings when she taught us that loving ourselves is THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL. OMG, there is no way I can express all my feelings and my stories about Ms. Houston on just one page, so I’ll have to cut this short. You know, although her body is put to rest, her spirit, energy, and that VOICE will live on forever and so will my love for her because Whitney, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! “Chaka Khan, my girl!” (Insert my high school song ONE MOMENT IN TIME and a few tears).

UNTIL next week, DON’T read the girls, instead read The Brent Star Report!

In Deep with Peter Depp

P

eter Depp thinks the best way to play his comedic gay card is to play it right in your face. As one of the stars of the Sundance Channel hit-reality series Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys, Depp brings his in-your-face humor to the Laughing Skull Lounge this weekend. We wanted to get to know the man behind the microphone and he’s just as funny off-stage.

Boxer, Briefs… or Jock Strap?

Well since I’m single I currently don’t have clean underwear because no one loves me enough to do my laundry. So I usually just freestyle. I don’t call it free-balling because I feel freestyle accurately depicts what’s really going on in my pants. They’re just flopping around doing whatever they want to do. When I’m in a relationship and have clean underwear, I usually wear boxer briefs.

Male Celebrity you’d most like to date?

I just watched The Vow, so I’m totally into Channing Tatum right now. I cried throughout the movie. Not because it was sad but because he’s not gay.

If you weren’t pursuing comedy what would you be doing?

I’d be an Ice Road Trucker. I don’t know how to drive a truck nonetheless on ice but it just sounds like a fun way to die.

Age or Weight — Which do you worry about more?

Weight. I’m like the Judy Garland on the cast of Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys. By Judy Garland I mean the one most likely to uncontrollably take diet pills and cry when I look in the mirror. Of course if I had a pretty voice like Adele, I’d eat like her too.

If you had a chance to change one historical event — what would it be?

I would assassinate the guy who made Honey Nut Cheerios before he made them. I have three kids so I always buy the big box and end up eating half of it in one night. I feel like if they didn’t exist my life would be less stressful. I have no self-control when it comes to breakfast cereal.

If you could write a letter to 13-year-old Peter what would it say?

Dear Peter, Please change your eating habits. Eating 15 cheeseburgers from McDonald’s is going to catch up with you and it’s really not healthy. Also you might want to say no to heroin when you’re 14. That’s going to be a poor decision.

Never mind I know you and you’re not even listening.

How about this, just do what you want, you selfish piece.

Love always, Peter For the full interview visit www. davidatlanta.com. You can catch Peter at the Laughing Skull this weekend opening for Shane Mauss.

Showtimes are 8 p.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday; 7 p.m. on Sunday and special 10:30 p.m. performances Friday and Saturday.

34 | davidatlanta

36 | davidatlanta

La Nota Rosa

Mentiras Gay Piadosas por Luis Chiruco 1. A mi no se me nota nada. (mmmm solo se te nota cuando hablas, caminas y levemente cuando respiras…)

2. Te lo juro! No sabia que Zen era un boliche gay, vine por la musica… (Y en ese momento tu cabeza gira como en el exorsista siguiendo a un tipo de 1,90 que paso al lado tuyo.)

3. El Rush es un super antro, por eso no suelo ir. (Claro solo vas un dia al semana a ver el show y despues el finde cuando caes en pedo y “te llevan”.)

4. Soy muy estrecho y me esta doliendo.

(Por cierto ya me habrá metido toda? porque no siento nada…)

5. Te quiero mucho… (Si te quiero mucho… cuál es tu nombre?)

6. La tienes bien grande. (Pobrecito a ver si con estas palabras tan bonitas se le para!)

7. Yo solo tomo socialmente. (Maldito loka ebria si siempre te sacan arrastrada del tunel con el calsoncillo roto entre los dedos.)

8. Mi pareja y yo no tenemos sexo. (a ver si así cae esta pobre palomita en mis garras.)

15. Solo somos amigos te lo juro.

(Despues de coger nos contamos nuestras cosas.)

16. Te ves distinto en persona que en foto. (Claro hijo de puta si te hiciste un postgrado en fotoshop.)

17. Sí, nos juntamos pero no paso nada.

(Que se pueda contra.)

18. No busco sexo solo amigos. (Amigos facheros y dotados.)

9. Nadie se ha quejado del tamaño de mi pene… (Porque ni cosquillas les hace, es más el último se quedo dormido mientras lo penetraba.)

19. Creo en el amor de pareja. (Si de pareja de dos horas nada más.)

10. Me acosté con el por despecho. (Y por que estaba mas fuerte que tu.)

11. Te lo juro el me sedujo… (Y yo solo me puse de perrito.)

21. Perdón gor, no escuche cuando me llamaste. (Ademas tenia una lengua en mi oido y la boca ocupada como para contestar.)

12. Nos vemos el fin de semana. (No se de que año pero algun finde…)

22. Soy 100% activo. (Si soy activo pero de la cola nada más.)

13. Eres el amor de mi vida… (A ver si así me da de comer otras dos semanas más.)

14. Se me perdió tu teléfono. (No se si te agende como nose1 nose2 o nose3…)

23. Nunca he terminado mal con mis ex. (Solo los he golpeado, amenzado y difamado pero a ninguno lo mate … hasta ahora)

20. Nunca he estado en un trío. (Siempre hubo minimo de 5 para arriba.)

...got leche? davidatlanta | 37

map Bar | Club

1 Amsterdam 3 Blakes on the Park 4 Bliss Atlanta 5 BJ Roosters 6 Bulldogs 7 Burkhart’s Rush 8 Club (formerly Chaparral) 502 Amsterdam Ave. www.amsterdamatlanta.com

227 10th St. www.blakesontheparkatlanta.com 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.blissofatlanta.com 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.myspace.com/bjroostersat 893 Peachtree St.

1492 Piedmont Ave. www.burkharts.com

2715 Buford Hwy www.chaparralalternative.com

9 10 Felix’s 11 Friends on Ponce 12 Gilberts 13 Heretic 14 Joe’s on Juniper Eagle

306 Ponce de Leon Ave. www.atlantaeagle.com 1510 Piedmont Ave

736 Ponce de Leon Ave. www.friendsonponce-atl.com 219 10th St. www.gilbertscafe.com

2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.hereticatlanta.com 1049 Juniper St www.joesonjuniper.com

38 | davidatlanta

15 Jungle 16 LeBuzz 17 Las Margaritas 18 Mary’s 19 Mixx 20 Model T’s 21 My Sisters Room 22 Opus 1 23 Oscars Atlanta 24 Swinging Richards 25 The Cockpit 2115 Faulkner Rd. www.jungleclubatlanta.com

585 Franklin Rd SE # A-10 www.thenewlebuzz.com 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.lasmargaritasmidtown.com 1287 Glenwood Ave. www.marysatlanta.com

1492 Piedmont Ave - B www.mixxatlanta.com

699 Ponce De Leon Ave NE #11. www.modeltatlanta.com 1271 Glenwood Ave www.mysistersroom.com 1086 Alco St.

1510 Piedmont Ave NE www.oscarsatlanta.com 1400 Northside Dr. www.swingingrichards.com 465 Boulevard Ave www.thecockpit-atlanta. blogspot.com

26 The Hideaway

1544 Piedmont Rd NE, Suite 124. www.atlantahideaway. com

27 28 Woofs Tripps

1931 Piedmont Circle www.trippsatlanta.com 2425 Piedmont Rd NE www.woofsatlanta.com

29 91 / Mengos 38 Daiquiri Factory

91 Broad St NW, 30303

889 W. Peachtree St., 30309 • facebook.com/pages/ The-Daiquiri-Factory

39 XS Ultra Lounge

708 Spring St., 30308 www.traxxatlanta.com

Gym | Spa

30 Flex

76 4th St. www.flexbaths.com

31 Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd www.gravityatl.com

32 Manifest4U

2103 Faulkner Road www.manifest4u.org

Retail

9 Rawhide Leather 33 Brushstrokes/ Capulets

at the Eagle. 404.881.0031

1510 Piedmont Ave. www.brushstrokesatlanta.com

34 Boy Next Door Nights 37 Southern Videos 1447 Piedmont Rd. www.boynextdoor.biz

2205 Cheshire Bridge Rd. www.southernnights.com

map | BARTAB

40 | davidatlanta

The

Iron Ladies

Out filmmaker Phyllida Lloyd directs Meryl Streep, who talks gay icon status – of both herself and Margaret Thatcher

N

by Chris Azzopardi

othing can stand in the way of the almighty Meryl Streep – except on this particular afternoon. At a New York City hotel, in front of a room full of journalists from mainstream press, she braces herself for what could be the ultimate career challenge. The mission? Answer a “gay” question.

With mock surprise, Streep dramatically throws her arms up and whips back in her chair, pretending it’s something she – Oscar winner, recent Kennedy Center honoree, the “devil” herself – isn’t sure she can pull off.

“OK,” she says, sarcastically, “let me get ready. All right, go.”

Photo by The Weinstein Co.

And so we do, citing mentions of the fierce Margaret Thatcher, whom Streep doesn’t just play but becomes in The Iron Lady, as a gay icon. So, is she?

Streep deliberates, working out the answer in her head before she lets go of it: “You know, I… I don’t know. I just recently found out that I am a gay icon. It’s flattering, of course,” she says, noting the all-male tribute Streep Tease in West Hollywood (of which she says, “I haven’t gotten the nerve to go”). “But I think (Margaret) stirs very strong feelings even today, 20 years after leaving power. And she remains divisive. The film will enter a landscape of a world where she continues to cause controversy. I can’t answer the question about whether she’s a gay icon. That’s a difficult one for me.”

Look at that: something Meryl Streep can’t do. The recent Golden Globe winner

davidatlanta | 41

Photo by The Weinstein Co.

for Best Actress in a Drama, for Iron Lady, is supposed to be the Queen of Can, the thespian superwoman who can effortlessly slip into character: head-turner in Death Becomes Her, doubtful nun, Julia Child (she’s so remarkable, in fact, that she can work those chameleon skills within just one movie, as she did with 2003’s Angels in America).

She’s such a persona-transcendent pro that when she’s sitting right in front of you, you’re asking 42 | davidatlanta

yourself: Is that really Meryl Streep? At this point, even Meryl Streep doesn’t look like Meryl Streep.

Heck, after being so outside herself, does Meryl Streep even know Meryl Streep?

She’s the rare actress who never plays herself in a movie. Iron Lady, then, is a made-forMeryl movie, from the prosthetics that afford an uncanny transformation into Britain’s first female prime minister to the heart that she finds among all that, well, iron.

“The biggest challenge for me was accomplishing the long lines of thought that she would launch into without taking a breath,” Streep recalls. “Even with all the drama school that I’ve had, I had a lot of trouble managing that. Just the galvanizing energy and the drive and the capacity to follow through with a conviction all the way through to the end of your breath until you can’t go any further,” she says, breathlessly in character, “and not to let anybody interrupt!

“It was masterful the way she could manage these interviews.” She lets out a hearty laugh.

“I’m taking notes on that.”

Thatcher was a strident figure of polarizing effect, a loved-and-hated political icon admired not necessarily for her ideas but for the way she was able to execute them – in the face of class and gender prejudice.

“The array of obstacles that stood before her in England at that time were enormous,” Streep david atlanta | 43

notes, “and I think she did a service for our team (women) by getting there – even though you might not agree with the politics. Her determination, her stamina, her courage to take it on.

Anybody that stands up and is willing to be a leader, who is as prepared as she was and as smart as she was, is admirable on a certain level, because you really sacrifice a great deal.

All of our public figures do.”

The film spans three days in Thatcher’s post 44 | davidatlanta

prime, well into her 80s, after dementia wipes out her memories and she tries to capture whichever ones she has left. For as politicalminded as she was, the film isn’t very political at all. And it wasn’t meant to be.

“All of us understood what we were wanting from this piece,” Streep says. “It was not going to be chronicling Margaret Thatcher’s political life; it would be a particular look back through her own eyes at selected memories – not in chronological

Photo by Alex Bailey

order, but in a jumble of memory, regret, glory days. It would all be a part of a reckoning.”

The film is facing intense scrutiny for breezing past the political turmoil that Thatcher stirred and, instead, focusing on her personal life.

“We have come under criticism for portraying someone who is frail and in delicate health,” Streep admits. “Some people have said it’s shameful to portray this part of a life, but if you think that debility, delicacy and dementia are

shameful, if you think that the ebbing end of life is something that should be shut away – if you think that people need to be defended from that, from those images – then yes, it is a shameful thing. But I don’t think that. We are naturally interested in our leaders, and we tell stories about ourselves through the stories of important people.”

Out director Phyllida Lloyd elaborates: “We thought of the film as something of a King Lear davidatlanta | 45

for girls, a Shakespearean story – not a political story. So, in that sense, we spoke to a number of Margaret Thatcher’s closest associates, who described her story in Shakespearean and operatic terms. I’d worked in opera a lot and to me, this did have some of the elements of a tragic opera. The movie is a combination of the political world and pure imagination. It’s two very distinctive worlds.”

This isn’t the first time Streep and Lloyd have bridged two worlds. 2008’s Mamma Mia! united the actress’ singing and dancing, with Lloyd directing.

“I think it’s always easier the second time working together,” the filmmaker admits. “In fact, you should start with the second time.”

Looking at her, pretending to be offended, Streep laughs: “What do you mean?”

“I loved working with her… the first time,” the actress razzes. “We had shorthand (on Iron Lady), and we had to – because we had $14 million to shoot a movie that takes place over the course of six decades. And that’s basically no money.

That’s less than a 10th of what Hugo cost.”

She hands it to Lloyd for strongly conveying her vision prior to shooting, which allowed Streep a sense of security in knowing just how to find Thatcher’s mind, body and spirit.

“I’m playing a Margaret Thatcher no one has seen or really knows, and we can’t know – it’s an imagined journey that we were taking – so I felt a lot of freedom. I did,” Streep says. “I felt completely free, and that’s a testament to the director.”

But it wasn’t all Lloyd. Though she’s never met Margaret Thatcher, Streep wore the prime minister’s many hats, learning that the woman wasn’t a slacker and that her father saw Thatcher as the man of the house. “He discovered, of his two daughters, one was uncommonly bright and uncommonly curious, and maybe this could be his boy,” she says. “That’s what I think. She fulfills a promise, and he infused in her the courage to get up and out. She had a lot of promise, and she wanted to live up to it.”

When did Streep realize the same for herself?

“I never really decided. I’m still ambivalent.”

She laughs at the notion. “But no, being an actor lets me be a million different things, so I don’t have to decide.”

46 | davidatlanta

Photo by The Weinstein Co.

.

calendar MONDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK

Manic Monday (retro night 70’s, 80’s, & 90’s) 10pm

THE EAGLE Comedy TV- Free Pool FRIENDS ON PONCE

Bad Boy Brian opens at 2pm

HERETIC Industry Night, No Cover!

WEDNESDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK

Feathers & Flesh Burlesque Revue 11pm

THE EAGLE 80’s Music with Travis FRIENDS ON PONCE Team Trivia 8pm HERETIC H.U.M.P. Dress Code Party w/DJ Lydia Prim. 25¢ Keystone Light Draft all night long. No Cover!

JUNGLE Stars of the Century Show 11pm

SWINGING RICHARDS 2-4-1 VIP Room

THE HIDEAWAY $2.50 Domestic Beer

THE HIDEAWAY Craps & Blackjack with

FELIX’S Free Pool THE COCKPIT Big Red Cup Mondays All Day & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

MODEL T’S Wheel of ? with Elvis 9pm

TUESDAY BLAKES ON THE PARK I Gotta Sing!

Hosted by Jealose & Jerry (Karaoke) 11pm

THE EAGLE Tuesdays with Tony FRIENDS ON PONCE

Let’s Make a Deal 6pm

HERETIC Free Line Dance Lessons 8-9pm Country Dance 9-11pm. No Cover!

SWINGING RICHARDS

No Cover Before Midnight, $5 After

THE HIDEAWAY

Service Industry Night - Employee Prices. Trivia w/ Will 9pm - 11pm

FELIX’S Smirnoff Martini Night THE COCKPIT DUDE: 80s Party, 9pm & 1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

CHAPARRAL HipHop til 4am, $5 MODEL T’S Texas Hold’em Poker 9:30pm

50 | davidatlanta

Miss Lauren

THE COCKPIT

Balls Deep Karaoke, 10pm with Mikey and Wesley &1/2 Price Appetizers 5-8pm

MODEL T’S Virtually Famous Karaoke with Pat & Tina 10pm

XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX

Raquell Lord’s The Main Event Talent Show @ 10:30pm, Sign Up by 9:45pm.

Also Sophia Mcintosh & The Fabulous 5 +1 @11:30pm, 18+

THURSDAY

SATURDAY

BLAKES ON THE PARK

BLAKES ON THE PARK

Texas Hold’Em Poker 7pm, The Shawna Factor Show, 11pm

Jealose’s Daring Diva’s Show 11pm

THE EAGLE DJ Dance Party

THE EAGLE Karaoke with Mikey FRIENDS ON PONCE Where Girls Who Like Girls Meet Girls all night

HERETIC 3 Legged Cowboy Night 9pm. Free Dance Lessons 8-9pm. No Cover!

FRIENDS ON PONCE

Open @ noon with Bob Brewer

HERETIC Varies: Club Night or 3 Legged Cowboy Night - 10pm

JUNGLE Club Night, Various Guest DJ’s.

JUNGLE Cherry Pop Thursday!

SWINGING RICHARDS

LAS MARGARITAS

T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

Crazy Bitch Bingo 7:30pm

FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm

SWINGING RICHARDS

2-4-1 VIP Room & 2-4-1 Door Entry

THE HIDEAWAY Levi & Leather Night FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm THE COCKPIT

Dirty Boy Bingo, 9pm w/ Ruby Redd

MODEL T’S Wheel of ? with Micheal 9pm XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX

THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

SWINGING RICHARDS

T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

CHAPARRAL Dance Party FELIX’S Karaoke w/ Brett & Tyler 10pm THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s, (resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

Turnt Up Thursday, No Cover, Hip Hop, Rnb & Reggae

MODEL T’S Sexy & Know it Party 9pm CHAPARRAL DJ Jay McKracken, $5 XCESS ULTRA LOUNGE/TRAXX

FRIDAY

Man 2 Man, Free 4 Men 25+ B4 12am

BLAKES ON THE PARK

SUNDAY

Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix Show 11pm

THE EAGLE DJ Dance Party

BLAKES ON THE PARK

FRIENDS ON PONCE

Happy Times with Bad Boy Brian & Ken

Old School Sundays with DJ Bill Berdeaux 3pm-7pm, DJ Darryl Cox 7pm-close

HERETIC FREE FRIDAYS! w/DJ Lydia Prim.

FRIENDS ON PONCE Bad Boy Brian’s

JUNGLE Club Night, Various DJ’s

LAS MARGARITAS

No Cover!

All You Can Eat Brunch 11am-3pm

SWINGING RICHARDS

THE HIDEAWAY

T-Shirt Review, $10 Cover

CHAPARRAL Got Leche? til 4am, $10 THE HIDEAWAY

PBR Beer Bust -- Open & Pouring

THE COCKPIT Rotating VJ’s & DJ’s,

Bagels / Texas Hold’em Poker 9:30pm

FELIX’S

THE COCKPIT

FELIX’S Bartenders Serve It Up!

MODEL T’S Morning

Make Your Own Bloody Mary Bar 12:30pm

Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers

After Work Martini Madness

(resident DJ, Diablo Rojo)

Smirnoff B Mary Bar 12:30pm

MODEL T’S Sunday Dinner with Ron 3:30pm CHAPARRAL Hip Hop w DJ Truz, no cover

calendar | BARTAB

What A Girl Wants

Unique Foodie Adventure for the Girl-in-the-Know

A

by Rian Ashlei

couple of months ago, my mildly adventurous but extremely interesting ex-girlfriend took me on a very unusual date to the Auburn Curb Market. We were going to something called “Atlanta Underground Market,” a food event that costs $5 to enter and included some 30-food vendors with sample size portions of artisan cuisines ranging in price from $1 - $5.

The night before the event, I signed up and received my email informing me of the location and the menu offerings. I couldn’t help but be excited about pesto and goat cheese lamb sliders or garlic and butter cream cupcakes.

Then I wondered, how had such an interesting and unique food venture come to Atlanta and I had missed it entirely. I had no idea, but boy was I glad I stumbled upon this. Michaela Graham, the creator of Atlanta Underground Market, brought the idea from her previous home in San Francisco.

The event allows you to sample a host of meat, vegetarian and vegan dishes from chefs, restaurants and small catering companies throughout Atlanta or people who

52 | davidatlanta

don’t own restaurants but create restaurant quality dishes.

The night before each Underground Market, Michaela sends out an email to members, which includes the location and a full listing of all the available foods to sample, including if they are meat, vegetarian or vegan based.

The next and final Atlanta Underground Market will be March 3rd, 6- 9 pm. This will be the last Underground Market. Luckily, the event has become so massive; Michaela has decided to make it a weekly event. The Atlanta Nosh, as it has been named, will be held every Sunday from 11:00 am- 3:00 pm, starting in April. Of course the location is a secret. But guess what, if you sign up, you’ll find out!

So take your love on a foodie adventure… hopefully the two of you will fare better than we did.

Note: If you want in on this, you must sign up; it’s required. Atlanta has strict rules around food and event space, so you will not receive entry if you are not a member. No excuses, it’s free.

Sign Up Here: www.atlantaundergroundmarket.com

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FairyScopes

ARIES (March 20 – April 19): Don’t let arguments become about making you look good or right. That will only backfire. Better to use any disagreement as a test of your diplomatic skills. The voices in your head are offering advice, not orders. Think before acting.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Make any social commitments as tentative as you reasonably can. Your friends want your company and you’d find social occasions advantageous, but you might be even better off quietly with a few well-chosen pals.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 20): Uncovering family treasures (House cleaning? Talking with older relatives?) can help you realize how much you have to offer in your work.

Talking with family elders? Pay special attention to the family’s health history.

CAPRICORN (December 21 – January 19): Whether you are arguing with or citing the authorities you can all too easily get it wrong. Check and double-check your facts very carefully. Right or wrong, you are also likely to anger people in charge. Take it slow and easy; be diplomatic!

GEMINI (May 21- June 20): Don’t let social temptations distract you from your career, but use them to network and to get ahead. Be very attentive to moves behind the scenes and disappointments that could prove to be blessings in disguise.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18): Don’t be afraid of arguments. (But are you ever?) New angles of discussion will open your mind as well as others’ to intriguing new ideas. A little shock adds extra value. As usual, the trick is to accept challenges more than you offer them.

CANCER (June 21- July 22): Engage confusing new ideas. Clarity will come soon. Intellectual and aesthetic challenges will bring lots of opportunities to advance professionally and socially.

When you feel overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to ask friends or experts to help.

PISCES (February 19 – March 19): Being outgoing, even garrulous, will open a lot of doors. Some you may want to shut again in a hurry. Still the good outweighs the bad. Listen more than you talk, but speak up and you’ll hear something important.

LEO (July 23 – August 22): Your sexual allure can open erotic treasures and/or Pandora’s box. Sublimation can help your career, but needn’t be an all-or-nothing proposition. Dangers lurk at extremes of abstinence or indulgence. Use foresight and look for opportunities not necessarily in the bedroom.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22): You are entering a long phase in your life where relationships are becoming even more complicated. Erotic impulses can open up hidden depths and new ways to communicate with the one you love. Some mixed signals are just part of the learning process.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22): Even if you really do know better (and I’m sure you do!) your efforts to help are easily seen as aggressive meddling. Ask first if your suggestions would be welcome. Attending to your own tasks is usually the better way to set an example.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21): There’s more to “creative differences” than the idea that you’re creative and they’re different. As strong as your feelings are steel yourself to welcome constructive criticism as an opportunity to improve. Real friends are not flatterers, but tell the truth.

Scopes brought to you by Jack Fertig, professional astrologer since 1977. Visit his website at www.starjack.com.

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The awkward moment when your BF texts you on Valentines Day, only to realize that the text was meant for his lover.

I have come to realize it is by far cheaper for me to drink every night than to hire a therapist.

Where is my lover taking me for Valentine’s Day dinner? Nowhere. I’m going out with my partner; and in to my lover. You understand the difference.

Just because you got hot all of a sudden doesn’t mean you can be an asshole.

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I hate when I’m having a great day and someone speaks to me.

I’m sick of these damn gays in Atlanta who think I am hot enough to fuck but not good enough to date.

So Glee this week introduced Rachael’s two gay (white) dads. Awesome. Did they totally forget that she had a black dad in the pilot episode? #fail Dating season has begun!

See, we dump the people in early November to avoid holidays, buying gifts, and all that crap. Now that V-Day is over, it’s hunting season again.

STOP SHAVING YOUR BODIES! Body hair is HOT! Dear coughing guy at Ansley Starbucks.

That cough of yours have been going on for a week now. When are you gonna realize it is ANNOYING and GROSS?

Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.

When anyone says to me “I need to talk to you,” every bad thing I’ve ever done in my life flashes before my eyes.

WHITNEY :(

You pissed on my sofa and fell asleep in my laundry room. Yeah, that drunk.

David Magazine’s

Oscars Ballot just tear-&-go!

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn Jonah Hill, Moneyball Nick Nolte, Warrior Christopher Plummer, Beginners Max von Sydow, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY The Artist Bridesmaids Midnight in Paris Margin Call

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS Octavia Spencer, The Help Jessica Chastain, The Help Melissa MCarthy, Bridesmaids Janet McTeer, Albert Nobbs Berenice Bejo, The Artist

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY The Descendants Moneyball Hugo The Ides of March Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

A Separation

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM A Cat in Paris Chico & Rita Kung Fu Panda 2 Puss in Boots Rango

davidatlanta | 61

David Magazine’s

Oscars Ballot just tear-&-go!

BEST PICTURE

BEST DIRECTOR

The Artist The Descendants Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close The Help Hugo Midnight in Paris

Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist Alexander Payne, The Descendants Martin Scorsese, Hugo Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris Terrence Malick, The Tree of Life

Moneyball The Tree of Life

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

War Horse

Rooney Mara in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Demián Bichir, A Better Life George Clooney, The Descendants Jean Dujardin, The Artist Gary Oldman, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Brad Pitt, Moneyball

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs Viola Davis, The Help Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady Michelle Williams, My Week With Marilyn

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