Stooshie Issue 13 Published Aug 16 2014

AUGUST 16 issue no.13 ❘ £2.50

W NE NE ZI GA MA

the

‘A comedy legend’

Stooshie Fred MacAulay pays tribute to Robin Williams

T h e b e s t o f S c ott i s h m e d i a – n e w s

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opinion

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d e bat e

Not so black and white

If Plan B works for pandas, what about the currency?

Much ado about muffins The rise of The Great British Bake Off

Scotland in days

£2.50

33 9772055595008

Who’s a lucky Bhoy?

M says No

Ronny’s relief at Celtic’s reprieve

Dame Judi and pals on union bond

16-Aug-14

Recall: R34 – 22-Aug-14

www.thestooshie.co.uk

the

Remembering Robin Williams

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Our survey said...

Yes and No camps polls apart

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A health scare straight from the supermarket shelf

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Stooshie of the Week: Are councils right to fly the Palestinian flag?

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What’s hot and not at the Edinburgh Fringe

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Editor’s Round-up: That was the week that was

Welcome to another packed issue of The Stooshie, bringing you the best of Scotland’s media over the last seven days in one bitesize treat. We’ve risen to the challenge once more by cogitating over countless newspapers, websites and blogs to serve up a platter that would make even Mary Berry beam with delight.

There’s been plenty to get our teeth into this week with a month to go before Scotland goes to the polls. And it’s money – or rather the future of Scotland’s currency – that has seen the Yes and No camps become further entrenched in their respective positions this week. It’s clear their stances will become even more steadfast as September 18 approaches – no matter what the polls, Boris Johnson or even Dan Snow and his pals say.

The world was also shocked by the sad death of much-loved actor Robin Williams this week, and we look at the comedian’s close connections to Scotland.

Elsewhere, everyone seems to be talking about the Great British Bake Off, so it’s only right that we do too, while Edinburgh’s pandas have been back in the news amid reports a baby panda could soon make an appearance. And our sport section looks at the long-awaited return of the Scottish football season – and an incredible European lifeline for Celtic.

Read, digest and enjoy!

SCOTTISH WORD OF THE WEEK

radge noun ❘ rædƷ ❘ 1. A wild, crazy, or violent person.

2. A rage.

Usage: “The site helps visitors learn the meaning of words including ‘radge’” (see page five) (Can also be an adjective, meaning wild or crazy)

WE REALLY LIKE...

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Fred Said: Our man MacAulay in full flow

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■ Commonwealth swimming champion Ross Murdoch thanked Royal Mail after this “cute” piece of fan mail found its way to him.

Editor-in-chief: Richard Neville Editor: Steve Bargeton Deputy editor: Catriona MacInnes Art director: Aileen Wilkie Content manager: Rory Weller Editorial: Craig Smith, Stefan Morkis, Alastair Bennett Contributors: Brian Donaldson, Robert McNeil, Jonathan Trew, James Williamson, Graham Huband

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4 l news

MAIN EVENTS

Independence debate hinges on currency union First Minister adamant Scotland will continue to use the pound after a Yes vote ■ First Minister Alex Salmond insists Scotland will use the pound despite the main unionist parties ruling out a currency union after a Yes vote.

After being forced onto the back foot by Better Together leader Alistair Darling during the first televised debate, Mr Salmond has still not revealed what his possible “Plan B” will be if a currency union is ruled out.

While maintaining that he believes the rejection of a currency union is simply a campaign tactic, he has hinted

Scotland will continue to use the pound without a formal union and may refuse to take on Scotland’s share of the UK’s national debt if this is the case.

However, the Scottish Government’s own Fiscal Commission Working Group said the proposition is unworkable in the long-term.

It was not mentioned as a possibility in the White Paper on independence, which suggested a new currency, pegged to Sterling or otherwise, and adopting the Euro as other options.

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

There was bemusement at Scotland on Sunday as to why Alex Salmond has refused to outline his Plan B when it is quite clear it would be using the pound without a formal currency union.

This, the paper suggested, is because admitting it would be “unpalatable” as “acknowledging a Plan B would invite scrutiny of that plan, which would expose the flaws that contributed to it not being Plan A in the first place”.

Unsurprisingly, the proindependence Sunday Herald was supportive. It stated Scotland “would continue to use the pound for at least 18 months” and then launch a new currency, which, it said, would not cause the economy to “drop off a cliff overnight”.

It said the decision will come down to who voters believe, before concluding “we know who we trust”.

The refusal to outline a Plan B has “infuriated” voters, said the Daily Record, and that using the pound without a currency union, and therefore without the backing of a central bank, is a “gamble”.

The Scottish Sun said: “After a divorce, you don’t get to use your ex’s credit rating.”

It warned a new currency could mean “the value of the cash you earn could be very different from what it is today” while using the pound without a currency union would leave Scotland “with no control” over the economy.

First Minister Alex Salmond said Unionist parties had taken a “kamikaze” approach by refusing a currency union but few commentators agreed with him.

One of them, the Sunday Herald’s Ian Macwhirter said Scotland could thrive using Sterling with a formal currency union and that refusal to consider one “violates the spirit of the very Union these critics claim to uphold”.

In The Herald, David Torrance noted “attempting to make Scotland independent” was a greater threat to any spirit of the Union.

But he said that while“realpolitick” may mean some form of currency union, its “terms and conditions... would heavily undermine the central goals of an SNP government”.

Andrew Nicoll, political editor of The Scottish Sun, said “the only long-term answer is a separate Scottish currency”.

But he warned this could pose difficulties and Alex Salmond should be honest with the electorate about the possible consequences.

The Times’ Peter Jones said opening the door to using Sterling without a currency union is “a big headache for the Yes campaign”.

He said uncertainties over “informal use of the pound” means Mr Salmond has “steered the Yes campaign up a cul-de-sac with no obvious easy way out”.

World stunned by Williams’ suicide Oscar-winning actor and comedian who battled depression and addiction found dead at his San Francisco home ■ Robin Williams, the actor and comedian, was found dead in his San Francisco home after he committed suicide.

Tributes poured in from around the globe to the star.

Williams claimed to have been born in Scotland in early publicity material – something he said he did while “under the influence”. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

He did, however, perform at the Edinburgh Festival, star as Peter Pan in an update of JM Barrie’s Peter Pan and adopted a Scottish accent for one of his signature roles, Mrs Doubtfire. The Evening Telegraph also reported he developed a love of lorne sausage and tattie scones while visiting Dundee.

EDITORIALS SAY Tributes poured in from around the world for Robin Williams and the Scottish media also mourned his loss.

The Scotsman said that “like many great talents before him, he struggled for a long time with addiction to drink and drugs”.

But it said while his “pace” was key to his success as a comedian, his ability to alternate that with a “touching stillness and gentleness” as an actor helped him to find his “metier”.

Despite losing his battle with depression, The Scotsman

MAIN EVENTS

Love bomb provokes shock and awe Over 200 celebrities ask Scotland to remain part of the United Kingdom ■ What do Sir Mick Jagger, Gloria Hunniford and Stephen Hawking all have in common?

The answer, of course, is that they all want Scotland to remain part of the UK. They were part of a group of more than 200 celebrities from the worlds of TV, film, music and sport who signed a letter urging Scots to reject independence at the polls next month.

Historians Dan Snow (above) and Tom Holland came up with the idea for the letter, which they said was signed by those who do not have a vote in the referendum but do have an opinion.

It was the second part of the Let’s Stay Together campaign which was launched last month with a much-derided online video featuring the Queen song You’re My Best Friend.

More than 21,000 people have signed an online petition set up by the campaign urging Scotland to say No. However, both Morrissey and Russell Brand said they supported independence.

concluded his legacy will be “a celebration of the very best of the human spirit”.

The Scottish Sun said that Williams had been “truly beloved” and there was “no surprise there has been such an outpouring of grief for him”.

But it said some good may come from his death if it helps people understand that depression is a real illness.

It said: “It might just be that his death helps more people to realise that no one is depressed ‘about’ anything, any more than they are diabetic about something.

“Depression is an illness to be treated.”

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

Residents living in other parts of the UK may not have a vote, but The Independent does not believe they should remain quiet.

“The more we can make Scots, especially those who are wavering and undecided, feel wanted, the better,” said the paper. It said people would “feel foolish if we lost Scotland without mounting any resistance”.

The Courier was unsure if the “love bomb” from such an “eclectic collection” of stars would work.

It said “we should not decry the intervention of such famous faces” and that “anyone who wants to join the debate should be welcome to do so”.

But the Daily Record found the missive “ludicrous, patronising, insulting and self-defeating”. It asked: “Do the No campaign really believe they’re going to get a Brucie bonus by trotting out some tired old celebrities?”

Explaining the thinking behind the Let’s Stay Together letter, Tom Holland wrote in The Daily Telegraph that he hoped the letter was “not hectoring, lecturing, or scaremongering”.

Instead, he said he wanted Scots to know “how valued they were by their fellow citizens in the United Kingdom”.

In the Scottish Daily Mail Emma Cowing said it was “deliciously British” for a nation “to write a letter to itself asking if it would mind awfully not separating into two”.

She said their support for the Union probably “terrifies the Yes campaign”.

But in The Observer, Kevin McKenna dismissed the letter as a tawdry stunt.

“Pleasingly, most ordinary and decent English people don’t feel it necessary to write open letters to the Scots to show how much they value us,” he wrote.

COMMENTATORS SAY

one who could feed off the chaos of life and turn it inwards as much as outwards”.

Sarah Vine pondered why “the ones who bring us the most laughter are often the most troubled” in the Scottish Daily Mail.

Vine, who is married to Michael Gove, said that many comics are “just a bit unhinged”.

“Perhaps that’s the secret of genius: the ability to peer just that little bit too far over the edge of the abyss,” she said.

“The hard part, it seems, is keeping your balance,” she concluded.

Scottish comedian Billy Connolly was one of many who paid tribute to Robin Williams.

He said: “Robin was both my friend and my hero, a unique talent and a kind and generous man.”

In The Scotsman, Alistair Harkness said Williams’ “zany side” was best harnessed in animations like Aladdin or Happy Feet but that more serious films such as Good Morning Vietnam and Good Will Hunting “showcased a brilliant and nuanced dramatic actor,

news l 5 on the bright side ■ The American town of Boring, Oregon, celebrated its partnership with the Scottish village of Dull with an ice cream social at a local park.

Scotland Now revealed how the US town declared every August 9 a state holiday to mark the relationship.

■ Scotland’s smallest internet cafe has been opened – inside a red phone box. Visitors to the two-and-a-half foot wide vintage booth in Ballogie can enjoy a brew and check emails.

■ Music legend Tom Jones “nicked a hairdryer” from a couple of hairdressers to “tackle his soggy bottom” at the Belladrum Festival.

The Daily Record told how the singer got a member of his staff to fetch the hairdryer before he went on stage, although its owners arrived the next day to find it missing.

■ A Scots slang guide for Edinburgh Festival goers has become an internet hit, reported The Scotsman.

More than 125,000 people viewed ‘16 Words That Have A Completely Different Meaning in Edinburgh’ in just 24 hours.

The site helps visitors learn the meaning of words including ‘radge’, ‘chore’ and ‘chum’, with Sir Chris Hoy’s wife Sarra tweeting that the site was “barry”.

■ Who said romance was dead?

The Scottish Sun’s Ben Archibald told the story of loved-up Donald McGilvray, who popped the question to girlfriend Eloise Donnelly by spelling his proposal out using Coca-Cola bottles. When Eloise went to the fridge to get some milk she found six bottles lined up to say: “Beautiful Eloise Will You Marry Me” (pictured).

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

6 l news

POLITICS

Time running out for Yes Scotland?

Polls show growing lead for Better Together in wake of TV debate and despite SNP attempts to woo women voters

indy BRIEFS 1. Three new Royal Navy patrol boats will be built on the Clyde as part of a £348 million contract but only if Scotland votes No, according to UK Defence Secretary Michael Fallon.

2. Scottish Labour leader Johann Lamont has said independence would push interest rates up by up to two per cent – £1,600 a year on an £80,000 mortgage.

3. Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown has claimed pensioners are £409 better off as part of the UK.

■ Support for independence has stalled in the wake of the first televised debate on independence, polls show.

But the STV clash between First Minister Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling (below) has delivered a boost for Better Together.

A YouGov poll showed 55% of Scots now intend to vote No, up one per cent from a similar survey in June.

Meanwhile support for Yes remains stuck on 35%.

Once undecided voters are removed, support for Yes rises to 39% against 61% who intend to vote No. And a new report has said women are less likely to vote for independence than men because they are more uncertain about the consequences, even though the SNP has tried to appeal to female voters with promises on post-independence child care.

The Scottish Social Attitudes Survey found just 31% of women intend to vote Yes compared to 43% of men.

4. The Electoral Commission is mailing every household in Scotland and using social media to ensure as many people as possible use their vote in the independence referendum.

5. Police Scotland has vowed armed officers will not be on duty outside polling stations on the day of the independence referendum unless they have identified a “credible threat”. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

COMMENTATORS SAY Yes Scotland has struggled to regain momentum after the debate in Glasgow earlier this month.

Stagnating in the polls, it has been dealt further blows by studies that have shown women are far less likely to vote for independence and that a rising number of people consider themselves Scottish and British.

However, the Scottish Social Attitudes Survey also showed a greater number of people will vote for independence even though more think they will be worse off financially after a Yes vote.

On What Scotland Thinks, Professor John Curtice, codirector of the survey, said: “Support for independence is up, yet at the same time fewer people now think it will be beneficial.

“That sounds like a bit of a paradox, but the reason why the two trends have occurred

in parallel is that those who think independence would be beneficial are now more willing to vote for the idea.”

The Scottish Daily Mail said, not without some glee, the SNP’s famed party discipline is beginning to “show some cracks” as the independence campaign appears to falter.

It said that while some still hope for “a dramatic late surge” there are “others who have already started their post-mortem – and are pointing the finger of blame squarely at Mr Salmond”.

The Scottish Sun said time is running out for the Yes campaign and “if Alex Salmond still has a rabbit to pull out, he’d better do it quickly”. It said after a “disastrous week” it was no surprise “Yes supporters are feeling deflated and dejected”.

However, the following day its leader column said that while the “independence dream was miles behind in the polls”, Alex Salmond had been offered fresh hopes by comments made by London mayor Boris Johnson about there be being no need to devolve any further powers to Scotland (see story on opposite page) if voters reject independence at the polls next month.

“Independence is not a magic wand, but... with the right policies in place we could achieve full employment.”

“If Scots vote No, the person who will carry the blame will be Alex Salmond, whose arrogance has now become unbearable.”

John Swinney,

Jim Fairlie,

Finance Secretary

Former SNP deputy leader

POLITICS Food bank funding for Scotland

No more powers for Scotland, says Johnson ■ London Mayor Boris Johnson has said the UK Government should not give Scotland more tax raising powers if it rejects independence next month.

In an interview with The Sunday Times, Mr Johnson, who has announced his intention to run for parliament again, said First Minister Alex Salmond had been “thrashed” in his debate with Alistair Darling and that there is “no reason” to give Scotland more financial powers.

He said England has not benefited from devolution and instead said tax raising powers should be given to larger British cities.

Many believe Mr Johnson (above) will be the next leader of the Conservative Party and a future Prime Minister.

Pro-independence campaigners leapt on his comments and said they show how Scotland can expect to be treated if there is a No vote on September 18.

Yes Scotland chief executive Blair Jenkins said the interview presented a “sobering insight” into the future.

SNP MSP Jamie Dornan said Mr Johnson had “been caught out telling the truth” about plans for further devolution.

■ Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon announced £518,000 funding to support 26 food banks across Scotland.

She blamed changes to welfare introduced by the coalition government for the growing number of people who are relying on handouts of food to survive.

She said independence is needed to reform welfare in Scotland and to end the dependence on food banks.

However, Scottish Labour’s

Jackie Baillie said the Scottish Government could not afford its plans for welfare and its proposed cut in corporation tax.

She said Scottish Labour would reduce the need for food banks by restoring the 50p tax rate on earnings over £150,000 per year.

Charity The Trussell Trust said the number of people who used their food banks in Scotland between April last year and March this year rose to 71,428.

It said this was five times the number which required their help during the previous financial year.

Congress motion says No

Trident removal demanded

■ Twenty-seven members of the US Congress, including Democrats and Republicans, have signed a resolution in support of the union, saying that “a United Kingdom, including Scotland, would be the strongest possible American ally”.

The focus of the resolution, is that a strong and united Britain is better for transatlantic strategy.

President Obama has already said the US wants to see the UK remain a “strong, robust, united and effective partner”.

■ Veterans Minister Keith Brown has said discussions on removing Trident from Scotland should take place immediately if the country votes for independence.

He said the Scottish Government is “absolutely determined” to begin talks as soon as possible.

However, Labour’s Iain Gray accused the SNP of hypocrisy by wanting to remove nuclear weapons from Scotland while still wanting to remain a member of NATO. He said their stance is a “referendum tactic”.

“Poverty is our enemy, not our neighbours. And we don’t need to destroy one country to change our nation.”

“People say and do things in a campaign because they want an outcome, on both sides, but once the votes are counted you get into an entirely different situation.”

Michael Fallon,

Johann Lamont,

Alex Salmond,

Defence Secretary

Scottish Labour leader

First Minister

“UK warships are only built in UK shipyards.”

news l 7

indy BRIEFS 1. First Minister Alex Salmond admitted at the Edinburgh Book Festival that both sides have stretched the truth to win votes in the referendum.

2. Finance Secretary John Swinney unveiled a 10-point plan he said will create enough jobs for Scotland to enjoy full employment. However, opponents said his plan has “zero credibility”.

3. Conservative MP John Redwood has said Scottish MPs should be barred from the House of Commons for certain days of the week if there is a No vote to redress “lopsided” devolution.

4. The Scottish Social Attitudes Survey found 68% of Scots favour a currency union with the rest of the UK. Just 14% want a new Scottish currency introduced.

5. Alex Salmond has said public ownership of the NHS would be enshrined in a Scottish constitution if the country votes for independence.

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SEVEN BY SEVEN

news l 9

Fairly fowl – how safe is your supermarket chicken?

SEVEN QUESTIONS YOU REALLY WANT TO ASK 1. What’s the latest food scare then?

It involves your favourite source of white meat, the chicken. A survey by the Food Standards Agency found that 59% of birds tested positive for the food poisoning bug, Campylobacter, which means “curved bacteria”.

2. Curved, eh? Don’t like the sound of that.

Why is this problem getting worse?

It isn’t. The last FSA survey in 2008 found that 65% of birds were contaminated. So, some improvement, but not much. Richard Lloyd, executive director of consumer organisation Which? called the latest figure “unacceptably high”.

The Scottish Daily Mail said the survey results were “a damning indictment of supermarkets, farmers and processors who are putting customers at risk every day of the week”.

3. What is Campylobacter and what does it do to you?

It’s a bacterium that has an adverse effect on the bowels. Campylobacter causes stomach upsets, vomiting and diarrhoea. It can also cause death among the more vulnerable.

Found naturally in the environment, Campylobacter arrives on farms via wild birds and rodents. It spreads particularly quickly among chickens reared in hot, cramped factory farms. Factory farm enthusiasts point out that it also affects birds roaming outside, so there’s no counting your chickens by going free range.

bad birds in NUMBErs

853

Chickens examined in first quarterly test

4%

Of samples had Campylobacter on the outside of the packaging

4,000

Total number of birds that will be tested over a year

4

Out of every five cases of Campylobacter poisoning come from contaminated poultry

280,000 People a year get Campylobacter poisoning

100

4. Why doesn’t somebody do something?

Deaths a year caused by Campylobacter

Hmm, interesting idea. Obviously, keeping rodents at bay on farms is always a worthwhile practice. However, the industry is also looking at destroying the bug during processing, with methods such as spraying carcasses with lactic acid or disinfecting meat with ozone gas.

Andrew Opie, food director of the British

£900m

Cost to the economy caused by treating the sick

Retail Consortium (BRC), remained gloomy about the prospects, saying: “We’re working really hard right across our supply chain but sadly there just isn’t a magic bullet that will get rid of Campylobacter, because it occurs naturally in poultry.”

5. I’m far too busy to cook anything thoroughly. Isn’t there another way?

Nope. Going to have to bite the bullet on this one. The FSA’s advice, as reported in The Courier, is to make sure chicken is steaming hot all the way through before serving.

Cooking kills bacteria, so ensure there’s no pink meat and that juices run clear. The latest advice is not to wash raw chicken, as germs can spread by splashing.

6. Fair enough. Anything else I can do to stop getting sick from the chicks?

Yup, go vegetarian. Short of that, you need to make sure you cover and chill raw chicken.

Store it at the bottom of the fridge so the juices can’t drip on other foods and possibly contaminate them.

When working with raw chicken, make sure you thoroughly clean all utensils, chopping boards and surfaces. No doubt, as a fine upstanding ratepayer, you wash your hands before handling food. But remember also to wash them with soap and warm water after handling raw chicken.

7. Where do I buy my chicken then?

We couldn’t possibly comment. Apart from anything else, the FSA didn’t reveal the retailers whose chickens it tested, prompting claims that industry pressure had caused a cover-up.

However, the latest results are only from the first quarter of a year-long survey.

FSA director Catherine Brown said: “As soon as we have enough data to robustly compare Campylobacter levels in different retailers we will share that data with consumers.”

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

10 l news

AROUND SCOTLAND

1 HIGHLANDS & ISLANDS Blackspot work green light

NHS Highland faces massive financial overspend

Work to resurface a notorious accident blackspot at Aonachan crossroads on the A82 at Spean Bridge will start this month.

BEAR Scotland said the work will begin on August 18 but should be completed by the end of the month.

NHS Highland has predicted a £15.6 million overspend just three months into the current financial year – but expects to break even by the end of the year.

The health board had to ask the Scottish Government for a £2m loan to balance its books last year.

In a report to board members this week, finance director Nick Kenton said the forecast gives “significant cause for concern”.

Raigmore Hospital in Inverness (right) is expected to account for £10.5m of the overspend.

2 GLASGOW & WEST Para sports centre planned

Peelers investigate peeler

The National Sports Centre Inverclyde in Largs is to be transformed into Scotland’s first dedicated centre for parasports.

Sports Secretary Shona Robison (below) said the £9 million project, due for completion in 2016, will let athletes train at fully integrated facilities across a range of sports.

Ms Robison said: “The redevelopment will help even more para-athletes train in outstanding facilities, with the best technical support, to become world beaters.”

She added the plans are an example of the legacy from the Commonweatlh Games.

Police in Lanarkshire launched a major investigation after a retired lawyer accidentally stabbed himself in the abdomen with a potato peeler.

Thomas Friel (78) was found in the garden of his Bothwell home by his wife Joy (75).

Police carried out door-todoor enquiries and forensic officers searched woodland that backs onto the Friels’ home.

But their enquiries ended when Mr Friel was able to explain what had happened.

He had been peeling potatoes in the kitchen when he saw someone in the back garden.

As he went outside he tripped and stabbed himself with the peeler.

1

5

New life for Hunterston Work has begun to extend the life of Hunterston nuclear power station by another seven years.

Opened in 1976, Hunterston B was due to have been decommissioned in 2011 but will now generate electricity until 2023. EDF Energy said £20 million is being spent to ensure it operates safely.

2 3

3 SOUTH SCOTLAND Tortured dog put down A four-figure reward has been put up after a corrosive liquid was thrown over a dog while it was in its kennel in Dumfries.

The dog suffered extensive burns and had to be put down.

The reward has been put up by Peta (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

for information leading to the arrest and conviction of those responsible.

Police Scotland described the incident as “a horrible attack on a defenceless animal”.

PC Paul Whyte said: “I cannot imagine the suffering it must have gone through as a result of this.”

Posing for photographs warts and all Scientists are creating a photographic database of the rare and endangered natterjack toad to help ensure its survival in Scotland.

They are relying on each toad’s unique pattern of warts to enable them to identify individual animals.

That information will then be used by researchers monitoring whether the population rises or falls. Natterjacks are Scotland’s rarest amphibian and only found in the Solway Firth.

news l 11

AROUND SCOTLAND 4 NORTH EAST, ORKNEY & SHETLAND Tycoon Trump changes mind on clubhouse plans

Fishermen’s Russian fears

Donald Trump has revealed plans for a £5 million clubhouse at his Aberdeenshire golf resort.

Trump, who recently purchased Turnberry, had vowed not to spend any more on his controversial development at Menie until plans for an experimental wind farm off the coast were dropped.

However, he has now decided it would be “disrespectful” not to build the clubhouse but is adamant there will no further development after that.

The Apprentice presenter wants to create a “golf triangle” between Menie, Turnberry and Doonbeg in Northern Ireland.

Developers behind an electrical substation which would export power from the Aberdeen Bay wind farm won an appeal against an Aberdeenshire Council’s decision to block their plan.

Scottish fisherman have warned a ban on food exports to Russia could have a devastating effect on their industry.

Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev announced a “full embargo” on food imports from the EU, US and some other Western countries, in response to sanctions over Ukraine.

Russia is Scotland’s biggest market by volume for herring and mackerel.

5 TAYSIDE & CENTRAL

Police warning over pills

Dare Protoplay Festival concludes in Dundee

4

6

Scotland’s biggest video games festival, Dare Protoplay, drew more than 13,000 people to Dundee.

Each year, teams of students compete to create a new video game from scratch in just eight weeks as part of the Dare to be Digital competition. Their efforts are displayed at Dare Protoplay and the best are then put forward as nominees for a video games Bafta.

Run by Abertay University, Dare to be Digital attracts aspiring video game designers from across the globe.

It has been credited with helping cement Dundee’s reputation as Scotland’s leading centre of video games teaching and development.

Several people in Dundee were taken to hospital after buying fake diazepam from drug dealers.

Officers believe the people became ill after taking blue pills they were told were diazepam.

Police and health partners warned against the dangers of buying unknown medications or substances in the street.

Two people have appeared in court in connection with sale of the pills.

Diazepam, once marketed as Valium, is used to control anxiety and can be used as a sedative.

6 EDINBURGH, FIFE & EAST Failing care

Sales record for Edinburgh International Festival

A Fife hospital has failed to improve its treatment of elderly patients despite concerns being raised last year, health inspectors have found.

Officers from Healthcare Improvement Scotland made an unannounced visit to the Victoria Hospital in Kirkcaldy in June.

They found progress had been made in protecting patient mealtimes but some aspects of nutritional care and hydration still need improvement.

A record number of tickets have been sold for this year’s Edinburgh International Festival.

Festival director Jonathan Mills said: “Ticket sales are in great shape and we are busy finding even more seats in our biggest theatres to cope with demand for performances of The James Plays and Inala, and concerts including Paul Lewis at the Usher Hall. There’s been a terrific response to the programme.”

More than 13,000 tickets were sold for the opening weekend of the festival which runs until August 31. It will conclude with the Virgin Money Fireworks Concert, the largest in the world.

Forth crossing milestone Construction of the new bridge spanning the River Forth has reached the halfway stage.

The three towers of the Queensferry Crossing are now at road deck level.

Transport Scotland said the £1.45 billion project is on time and under budget. It had originally been expected to cost £1.6 billion.

The new bridge is expected to be completed in 2016.

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

12 l news

AROUND BRITAIN

1 NORTHERN IRELAND

2 NORTH ENGLAND

Thrones a beach for bathers

Lights out

Transport “insult”

Four admit Borneo murders of students

Northern Ireland’s most popular beach has been closed to the public to allow filming on the new series of Game of Thrones.

Portstewart Strand (below) was completely closed to holidaymakers for the shoot.

Tens of thousands of street lights could be switched off across Northern Ireland this winter due to budget cuts.

The warning was made by Roads Minister Danny Kennedy whose department is facing £15m cuts.

Mr Kennedy also said he has stopped approving some new work for road maintenance, grass cutting and gully emptying.

Middlesbrough MP Andy McDonald has branded a £15 billion plan to revolutionise transport in North East England an “insult” to Teeside.

The Labour MP said the plan, drawn up by cities including Newcastle and Manchester, to complement high speed rail links, completely ignores Teeside.

Two Newcastle University medical students were stabbed to death in a bar in Borneo.

Neil Dalton and Aidan Brunger were in the last week of a placement in Kuching.

Police in Borneo said four men have admitted killing the two 22-year-olds.

3 MIDLANDS & EAST Date set to bury last of the Plantagenets

1

The remains of Richard III will be re-interred on March 26 next year, officials at Leicester Cathedral have announced.

A week-long series of events will see the slain king’s coffin travel from Bosworth, where he died in battle, to the city where he was first buried. His original grave was lost and then rediscovered under a Leicester council car park in 2012.

2

4 WALES

Staff sent to Coventry

Reception for record breaking athletes First Minister Carwyn Jones has revealed there will be a homecoming celebration for Wales’ Commonwealth Games athletes next month.

The team won 36 medals in Glasgow, four more than their previous record set in 2002.

The Welsh Government and National Assembly will host a reception on September 10 at the Senedd in Cardiff.

3 4

A blazing spider – man torches own home A Bridgend man set his home ablaze after trying to kill a spider by setting it on fire.

The man ignited the spray from a can of deodorant to set the spider on fire.

However, instead of dying immediately, the arachnid ran away and set the house on fire. Firefighters took two hours to douse the flames.

5 SOUTH WEST ENGLAND Vitamin D dementia risk A study by Exeter University has found that older people with a vitamin D deficiency are at greater risk of developing dementia.

Vitamin D comes from foods and sunlight. However older people’s skin can be less efficient at converting sunlight into Vitamin D and so they require top-up supplements. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Coventry City Council has said it is to cut 1,000 jobs because of funding pressures.

Virtually all of the council’s 6,000 strong workforce will be offered a voluntary redundancy or early retirement package.

Only a handful of posts, will be protected.

Councillors say the cuts are necessary because of a £60 million drop in central government funding.

5

6

6 LONDON & SOUTH EAST Johnson told to come clean

Million pound bedsit

Deputy First Minister Nick Clegg has said Boris Johnson must come clean about his intentions if he succeeds in becoming an MP again.

The Mayor of London has stated he intends to run for Parliament next year.

Mr Clegg said he would “have to come clean about the fact he is a much more conventional politician than he likes to appear”.

A studio room in London has been put on the market with a price of £999,999.

The purchaser of the 321 square feet Mayfair pad will be paying £3,115 per sq ft.

The flat has a main room for living and sleeping, a small galley kitchen off it and a separate bathroom.

The London Evening Standard said the same money could buy a 16-bedroom mansion in Fife.

PEOPLE

news l 13

Finding his fortune ■ A painter and decorator from Edinburgh scooped a whopping £7 million jackpot on the National Lottery.

Willie Sibbald (48) told reporters he missed the moment when all six numbers came up on his Lucky Dip after falling asleep in front of the TV.

Newlyweds tragedy

A very public spat

■ A young bride died from a blood clot just 10 days after marrying her sweetheart. The Scottish Daily Mail told how Billy Dobie said a tearful farewell to wife Carly (24) at the same church in which they were married.

■ Actor David Hayman told the Sunday Herald he was angry at being the target of an attack full of “anger”, “bile” and “hate”.

He hit back after journalist Jenny Hjul wrote a Daily Telegraph blog titled ‘What to do when Scottish Nationalists move in next door’ after discovering an unnamed actor who had rented temporary accommodation in her street was an active Yes campaigner.

Harry Potter author’s comforting words Rowling reaches out to teen who saw family shot dead

Wullie’s scheme to dress up in Bob’s big dog suit to get Farmer Easton’s fruit turned out to be a hoot...

■ A young survivor of a shooting in Texas that left both her parents and her four siblings dead received a personal letter from Harry Potter author JK Rowling.

Cassidy Stay survived the attack in Houston by playing dead, but her mother, father, two younger sisters and two younger brothers were all killed on July 9. The 15-year-old found strength in the words of fictional Hogwarts headmaster Professor Albus Dumbledore and even quoted the character as she paid tribute to her loved ones at a memorial service days after the shooting.

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest times if one only remembers to turn on the light,” she told mourners.

Since then, it has emerged Rowling sent Miss Stay a handwritten note of comfort in purple ink from the point of view of Professor Dumbledore, accompanied by a wand, an acceptance letter to Hogwarts, a list of school supplies and a signed book.

A novel idea ■ George RR Martin told how aspects of Scottish history like Hadrian’s Wall and the Glencoe massacre inspired him to create the novels that became TV hit Game of Thrones. He spoke at the Edinburgh International Book Festival.

Drug mule on way home?

Deal struck to bring Melissa Reid back to Scotland after serving start of jail term for drug smuggling in Peru ■ Convicted drug smuggler Melissa Reid (left) has been granted permission to transfer from Peru to a jail in her native Scotland.

Reid (20), along with accomplice Michaella McCollum from County Tyrone, is waiting on the South American authorities agreeing to the terms of a move back to the UK – just one year into a six-and-a-half year prison sentence for trying to smuggle cocaine worth £1.5 million in

their luggage from Peru to Spain.

The Scottish Sun reported that Reid “could be on a plane in just three months” if the process goes smoothly.

However, the paper added that the deal could “still bite the dust” if authorities refuse to consent to the complicated nature of the prison switch.

Prisoners must be accompanied throughout their journey, and complex security arrangements put in place at departure and transit points.

Brazil’s blunder ■ Former footballer Alan Brazil sparked outrage with radio comments following the death of actor Robin Williams. The Talksport presenter said he had little sympathy for Williams and accused him of selfishness.

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

14 l news

BEST OF SCOTTISH COMMENT

BoJo’s inflated reputation

Warsi’s principled stand

John McTernan

Annie Brown

The Scotsman

Daily Record

■ Boris Johnson may be seen as the lovably bumbling great white hope of the Conservative party by some of its members, but former Labour party adviser John McTernan is not convinced.

Although BoJo’s announcement that he would be standing as an MP caused “more swooning in the right wing press than in a cheap Victorian pot-boiler”, McTernan said his track record in politics does not stand up to much scrutiny.

McTernan said Mr Johnson’s first spell as an MP was only memorable for accidentally voting against his own party while he said he only became Mayor of London because Ken Livingstone “had worked so hard to alienate” so many voters.

And he believes the only way for Mr Johnson to become leader of the Conservatives is for them to lose the next General Election.

He said David Cameron will remain as leader even if he fails to win a majority.

McTernan said this means that it could be 2020 before he could mount a bid for the leadership, by which time other challengers may be in contention.

■ The resignation of Baroness Sayeeda Warsi over Prime Minister David Cameron’s refusal to condemn the Israeli bombing of UN schools in Gaza offered the Daily Record’s Annie Brown hope that “a small glimmer of principle still lurks in politics”.

She said the “Tory poster girl” had resigned over “David Cameron’s apathetic approach to the wholesale murder of Palestinians”.

Brown added that it is the first time since Robin Cook and Clare Short resigned over the invasion of Iraq in 2003 that a member of government has quit over “a matter of principle”.

“This,” she said, “tells you everything you need to know about modern day careerist politicians, most of whom would sell their soul, or their vote at least, for a hand up the ladder.”

Brown said Hamas is also culpable for the deaths of so many Palestinians by launching rockets from civilian areas and “giving Israel an excuse”.

But she added their “brand of extremism” does not have widespread support and the actions of the Israelis could be described as “genocide”.

Duty bound to help Iraqis

troops will not be sent back into Iraq.

“Perhaps, deep down, he’d like to do more,” suggested Geissler, “but he knows voters simply won’t wear that.”

He said the roots of the current crisis go back to the invasion of 2003. Although Martin Geissler Saddam Hussein was “a The Scottish Sun tyrant”, Geissler said Isis are worse as their “warriors are completely out of control, ■ The crisis in Iraq has led beheading or crucifying to a humanitarian crisis of people who oppose their Biblical proportions, said ITV strict Islamist views”. news correspondent Martin He said that the failure to Geissler in The Scottish Sun. rebuild Iraq after the invasion He said the Yazidis, a had created the “vacuum” that religious sect with its origins has allowed Isis to thrive. in Zoroastrianism, has been But, he said a second forced to flee from the Jihadist invasion would only attract group Isis and “are now camped on the very mountain more militant Islamists to the country to fight Western top where, legend has it, troops. However, he warned Noah was saved from the “unstopped, their momentum, flood”. and their ranks, will swell”.

Geissler said their This leaves Western leaders predicament is so dire that like President Obama they require immediate intervention but “the West has “walking a tightrope” but something has to be done, been slow to act”. despite mistakes of the past.

While he said American After helping to create the air strikes may have some “bloody mess” the West “is success, President Barack duty bound to sort it out”.

Obama has pledged that

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ A pensioner who spent nearly five months living on Portobello Beach with his piano after his wife kicked him out of their home has now been forced to move on again by council chiefs.

Ben Treuhaft (66) lost an appeal against his long-standing eviction, which was brought to bear by Edinburgh City Council officials who claimed his musical project was in breach of the authority’s park and management rules.

The Edinburgh Evening News said the eviction came days after Mr Treuhaft’s piano the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

was “found dumped on Morrison Street after – fearing eviction – he swapped the instrument with a cafe owner for a sausage roll and cup of coffee”.

The paper revealed how the American-born musician is the son of a Mitford sister who rebelled against her fascist upbringing, ran away to Spain and married a communist nephew of Winston Churchill. He left the family home in Morningside and relocated to the seaside after an argument with his wife, but will now have to go elsewhere.

16 l news Independent Scotland stuck in UK’s slipstream

David Aaronovitch The Times

■ Achieving independence would likely usher in a more right-wing Scotland that has no choice but to follow the economic plans set out

by Westminster, according to The Times’ David Aaronovitch.

In the wake of the first referendum debate, Aaronovitch said that while people can “say for certain” what they don’t like about the UK – with many believing it “a fallen place, full of greedy bankers, paedophile politicians, food banks, a tabloid media, rampant inequality” – nobody “can be certain that the new Scotland won’t be much better”.

He said while many envisage a fairer Scotland post-independence, the reality is that while it would

BEST OF briTISH comment be a “viable” state it would, like others, “be dragged along in the tow of the big polities”.

For example Aaronovitch said introducing a higher tax rate may be fairer, but it could drive “more materialistic talent” away while “increasing benefits for the unemployed” above the level in the rest of the UK may bring about a “rapid demographic change that it hadn’t banked on”.

He said that “the economic and social choices” made by Scotland will inevitably be influenced by those taken in Westminster.

Ultimately, he said, Scotland would be influenced by a government in which it no longer has any representation.

And, in the final irony, without Scottish MPs, Aaronovitch said politics in the rest of the UK “will probably be that little but more right-wing than otherwise, purely by dint of Scotland’s political absence”.

He added those who aspire to a fairer society may be find that rather than becoming a beacon of social justice, an independent Scotland will find itself stuck in the UK’s “slipstream”.

Glasgow needs a friendly hand

It’s still the economy, stupid

Ian Jack

Gillian Bowditch

The Guardian

The Sunday Times

■ Glasgow’s reputation as a friendly city, burnished by the success of the Commonwealth Games, is a relatively new phenomenon, wrote Ian Jack in The Guardian.

He said that although Glaswegians had a reputation for being “Direct, without ‘side’, often amusing and, above all talkative” the concept of the “friendly Glaswegian” did not become a “brand” until the 1980s.

Then, Jack said, Glasgow was on “its industrial uppers” and so introduced the “Glasgow’s smiles better” slogan, which he claimed was “one of the first episodes of civic rebranding”.

But he said some parts of the city are now “imperilled”.

Jack said: “A city that over the past few weeks has looked so marvellous in the BBC’s aerial shots turns out to face serious problems of architectural preservation”.

He said that as in many other cities, businesses have moved out of the city, leaving “an oversupply of grand buildings”.

Despite having architecture that can only be rivalled

by London and Liverpool, Jack said “some of it looks dangerously uncared for”.

■ As the referendum campaign moves inexorably towards its September climax, The Sunday Times’ Gillian Bowditch said that it will be won or lost on the economic argument, which does not bode well for the Yes campaign.

She said “successive elections” have shown that winning “the economic argument” is the way to victory.

Unfortunately for Yes Scotland, she said the SNP’s “economic stance” was less an argument than “a yearning for an improbable state of affairs which, if it were to come about, would hamper the economic development of these islands for decades”.

Bowditch said Mr Salmond should have campaigned “on an issue of principle” by arguing that Scotland will be “incomplete” until she gains independence.

But she said he is scared to tell voters about the hard choices Scotland may face if it leaves the UK, preferring appeal to “baser instincts”.

She said: “Better to acknowledge the bankruptcy of his ideas now than risk the impoverishment of the nation later.”

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ Men and women have long argued that pornographic magazines can have a certain literary value – and it seems the National Library of Scotland agrees.

For it emerged this week that the Edinburgh institution is home to a “string of X-rated titles”, according to The Scottish Sun’s Russell Findlay.

Top shelf titles such as Razzle, Fiesta and Mayfair are kept in the special collections reading room, and readers must ask if they want to see the adult magazines. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

The paper revealed how one library user had stumbled upon the stash online.

“At first I thought it couldn’t possibly be porn, but there were loads more titles, some of which sound very dodgy,” the user said.

“The library is an oasis of calm in the city and usually full of students and researchers.

“I can’t imagine many people would queue up to ogle a pile of dirty mags from the 1980s and 90s.”

The library defended the collection, saying it “does not act as a censor”.

18 l news

everybody’s talking about...

Much ado about muffins The Great British Bake Off returns to television

1. What’s so special about it?

The Great British Bake Off is, not to put too fine a point on it, a phenomenon.

After four series on BBC2 its success earned it a transfer to a primetime slot on BBC1 this year.

Forget the World Cup or The Commonwealth Games, for some people the entire summer was leading up to its return.

And while a programme about a baking competition may sound dull, nearly eight million people tuned into the first episode.

2. So what’s new?

Apart from the channel it’s broadcast on, very little.

Wise heads at the BBC opted not to tinker with the format so presenters Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc (above) have returned along with judges Paul Hollywood (below left) and Mary Berry (below centre).

BBC2 hasn’t been left entirely in the lurch though: spin-off programme The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice is being shown on Friday nights, with Jo Brand bringing the cake-hungry public more from the show.

Reviews of the first series were mixed but the combination of extremely mild tension coupled with sniggering innuendo won critics and audiences around.

With all these baked goods having soggy bottoms it’s a surprise we haven’t seen Richard Harris’ MacArthur Park and its talk of cakes in the rain making another run up the charts.

The GBBO is now so famous it can, like the AA or UNICEF, be recognised by just its initials.

It’s also been credited in inspiring a resurgence of home baking around the country.

4. What do you get for winning?

Fame, glory and riches await, or, at the very least, a book deal with the baker’s own recipes.

Scot James Morton (below, right), son of Radio Scotland presenter Tom, has combined studying medicine at Glasgow University with a successful career as a professional baker.

3. What’s the secret ingredient?

Although we now live in a world dominated by competitive baking, it wasn’t always this way.

5. Any Scots in the mix this year?

One of the early favourites is Norman Calder from Buckie (left), only the third Scottish contestant to appear on the show.

A former radio operator in the Merchant Navy, he comes from a family of bakers

and is trying to revive recipes he fears are being lost.

The 66-year-old is, according to the BBC publicity machine, also a keen potter who cultivates his own yeast.

6. What are his views on the independence referendum?

It’s fair to say he has more important things to worry about.

However, some independence campaigners, like Reverend Stuart Campbell, who runs the Wings Over Scotland website, believe it and other programmes with British in the title are part of a nefarious plot to convince people to vote No.

7. Let’s hope he has no problems with his currants, eh? (Currency – geddit?)

Quite.

8. Where next for the Bake Off? The sky is, apparently, the limit.

There are several international versions of the show although homegrown spinoffs that attempt to turn other domestic chores into nail-biting competition have not been as successful. Yes, we’re referring to you, so-called Great British Sewing Bee. Meanwhile, just like a perfect soufflé, the presenters and judges alike are benefiting from their raised profiles.

Paul Hollywood was a judge on the American version of the show and will be going on tour around the UK next year.

The Great British Bake Off in numbers

2,400

Total number of eggs used in a single series

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

7.9 million

Viewers who tuned into the first episode of the new series

news l 19

BOFFINS Heriot-Watt University/JNCC/NERC

Sub-sea mountain’s corals alert Acid levels pose ‘catastrophic’ threat to fish

■ New corals discovered on the slopes of an underwater mountain could provide a warning on climate change, The Scotsman reported.

The deep sea corals were found on the Hebrides Terrace Seamount, which stands 4,600ft above the seafloor Professor J Murray Roberts (pictured), a marine biologist at Edinburgh’s Heriot-Watt University, led an international survey team aboard the Royal Research Ship, from which a robot submarine filmed the

Boppin’ boffins ■ A new method of combining science and fun could take the nation’s dance floors by storm. The science ceilidh is the brainchild of neuroscientist Lewis Hou, a research associate at Edinburgh University who believes dance and science are made for each other.

Mr Lou told The Herald: “A lot of the ceilidh dances work really well with different elements of science.

“For example, the Dashing White Blood Cell demonstrates the immune system, with its red blood cells and white blood cells.”

Mr Lou, whose ceilidhs are selling out, added: “If you can do the dance you can do the science.”

extinct volcano’s steep flanks.

Prof Roberts said that, as increasing levels of carbon dioxide are released into the atmosphere, oceans become acidic.

This could cause coral reefs to dissolve in places, providing an “important gauge of climate change”.

The acidity could prove “catastrophic” to deep-water fish, Professor Roberts also surmised.

In an editorial, The Herald said: “Protecting biodiversity is not just about ethics, it is almost certainly in our own interests too.”

Cancer breakthrough brings hope ■ An international team of scientists have made a breakthrough in the fight against a rare childhood cancer.

Researchers at Harvard and Aberdeen Universities pinpointed a protein that plays a key role in triggering Rhabdomyosarcoma (RMS), which affects around 60 youngsters in the UK each year.

The Press and Journal said Yap protein caused muscle stem cells to divide instead of becoming normal tissue. Tests on mice showed when Yap was increased tumours formed, but shrank when the protein was removed.

Dr Henning Wackerhage, of Aberdeen’s Institute of Medical Sciences, said inhibiting Yap in tumours “could cause the cancer to stop and regress”.

■ A former housewife, whose huge utility bills led her to invent an energy-saving device, has received an honorary doctorate of technology from Edinburgh Napier University.

As The Courier reported, Tanya Ewing, from Perth, came up with the Ewgeco energy monitor eight years ago, which shows water, gas and electricity consumption at a glance.

Glaswegians have the highest risk of dying from heart diseases in the UK, The Herald reported.

According to the British Heart Foundation

144

people out of every 100,000 aged under 75 die prematurely from cardiovascular disease in Glasgow, compared to 40 in Hampshire.

HOSPITAL SUPERBUGS WILL SOON SEE THE LIGHT ■ A revolutionary lighting system that can kill superbugs is to be installed on a hospital ward in a world-first trial.

The HINS-light Environmental Decontamination System, developed by Strathclyde University researchers, bathes air and exposed surfaces in a narrow spectrum of visible-light wavelengths. In tests, the lights have already proven effective in providing significantly greater reductions of bacterial pathogens

than can be achieved by cleaning and disinfection alone.

Dr Michelle Maclean, one of the Strathclyde researchers, said that while HINS-light was deadly to pathogens such as MRSA and C.diff, it was “harmless to patients and staff, and will allow hospitals to continuously disinfect wards and isolation rooms”.

The pioneering lighting system will be introduced to a ward in Glasgow Royal Infirmary’s intensive care unit.

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

20 l

best of the week

Clear as mud ■ The argument over what currency an independent Scotland might use makes for lively political debate but illustrates a major flaw in the referendum process.

Surely fundamental matters like this – not only currency, but EU membership, and what devolution can be expected if Scotland remains in the Union – should have been settled in principle before the referendum.

This would enable the Scottish people to make an informed decision based on what independence actually means.

As it is, the partisans on each side are able to exploit the uncertainty and lack of clarity to suit their own purposes. How can the Scots make a sensible choice when they do not know for certain what they are voting for?

Robert Smith, Keyworth, Nottingham The Independent the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

LETTERS TO THE EDITORS Back to business as usual

Anthems and an indigo plan

Keep your neb out

■ In common with the vast majority, I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience of the Commonwealth Games, both on visits to some of the venues and on television.

Much has been made of the friendliness and welcome extended by Glasgow to all of our visitors, but sadly we now appear to have returned to normal. My son is a keen cyclist and owns – or rather did own – a bike with which he has cycled the entire length of Japan and crossed Cambodia and Vietnam. It was specially built for him, but today was removed from outside his work by one of the friendly citizens of Dear Green Place.

Is this to be the true legacy of the Games?

■ Even though they have as much right to an opinion as anyone in Scotland, it’s a mistake for famous people south of the border to express a view on independence. It’s like trying to break up a dog fight – you run the risk of getting bitten in the frenzy.

■ I wish the sunny weather would come back. I wish we could disprove the belief that Scotland is always wet but, sure as day follows night, the Festival started, and with it comes rain. We don’t want to be a cliché. It’s boring!

■ In reference to recent correspondence I agree with most writers that Flower of Scotland is not a suitable “anthem”.

An anthem needs to be up tempo and should be about the present and future.

Referring to battles 700 years ago seems inappropriate to me (battles 300 years ago are also wrong to celebrate but that’s another subject).

Scotland should look forward and not back and, therefore, I would suggest another Corries song, Scotland Will Flourish, which is upbeat and the words far more appropriate.

I am also concerned that the Scottish Government does not appear to have considered what colour our country will be on a map after independence.

I am old enough to have been taught geography showing how much pink there was on any world map and I, for one, am a bit fed up with most people outside Britain pointing to the whole island and calling it England – a term that is not discouraged from some down south.

I would suggest indigo, which is bright enough to make people think before identifying our country wrongly.

Elaine Stuart, Gilmore Place, Edinburgh The Scotsman

Watt Smellie, Raeburn Crescent, Whitburn The Scotsman

Ian McLaren, Edinburgh Scottish Daily Mail

Dennis Johnston, 44 Merkland Road, Alloway The Herald

Rain falling right on cue

Alasdair Ross, Edinburgh The Scotsman

No place for cuss words ■ The survey by Sky Store showing that almost half of viewers watch old film favourites to cheer them up is no surprise. I’m no prude, having served my two years’ National Service in the Forces, but I find the foul language in most current films to be unnecessary and unacceptable.

A few weeks ago, I watched Bridesmaids, in which vulgarity was rife. So my collection of old films is most relaxing and rewarding. My favourites include Singing in the Rain, Father Goose, Roman Holiday, Calamity Jane, The Admirable Crichton, and Kind Hearts and Coronets. I don’t think you’ll find so much as a ‘damn’ or ‘hell’ in any of them.

that’s debatable ■ I am puzzled. Every time Alex Salmond answers the question “What currency will Scotland use?” he answers: “We will use the pound.” He always answers the question. He says we will use the pound because, in fact, we will use the pound.

For some reason the Better Together campaign seems to think this issue is a winner for them. It is not, for two reasons.

Most people have other, more pressing, concerns. They are aware that things like currency arrangements are decided by sensible negotiation and that all over the world people deal daily in a huge variety of currencies. But what is more important is that most informed people now know that we can use the pound if we like and this is steadily becoming general knowledge.

■ It is now clear that Alex Salmond does not understand the difference between currency usage and currency union. While many countries use the US dollar, for example, they are not in a currency union with the USA, so any debt they incur is not underwritten by the US Federal Reserve Bank.

Scottish usage of sterling after independence would be without the support of the Bank of England, either as protector of private deposits up to £85,000 or lender of last resort in a crisis.

Salmond actually wants currency union, which is like divorcing your partner, but retaining use of the joint bank account, plus joint liability for any debts.

No chance.

Dave McEwan Hill, Sandbank, Argyll The Scotsman

Malcolm Parkin, Kinnesswood, Kinross The Scotsman Letters have been edited

l 21

THE WEE PAPERS

A taste of...

Helensburgh Advertiser

Turbines slammed ■ A community group has criticised plans for a wind farm which, it says, would alter the character of Helensburgh.

TEG-H (Turbines Evaluation Group – Helensburgh and Area) said the 86.5-metre height of the five turbines proposed

by Helensburgh Renewables on land south east of Tom Na H Airidh, was “excessive”.

Chippie flooded

sport Spanish prop ■ Helensburgh Rugby Club will have an international flavour this forthcoming season, with the surprise signing of Spanish under-19 prop Alberto Figuero.

Grizzlies new boss John Cashmore told the Advertiser’s Craig Ritchie: “Albert just kind of turned up and we were more than happy to welcome him on board.”

Reid’s US return ■ Helensburgh’s Gordon Reid is preparing to return to America after securing direct entry for the US Open Wheelchair Tennis Competition, Andrew Clark reported.

Gordon made his US Open debut last year and returns to New York to build on his success at reaching the men’s singles final at the British Open.

■ Scotland’s best chip shop was forced to close temporarily after flooding on Helensburgh’s seafront, Jennifer Russell reported.

Despite waterfront drainage improvement works by Argyll and Bute Council, The Wee Kelpie – named Scotland’s Best Takeaway at the Scottish Entertainment Awards in May – was flooded after heavy rainfall battered the town.

Fracking frontline ■ Loch Lomond and the Trossachs National Park is on the frontline of a controversial new mining policy, according to environmental group Greenpeace.

Spokesman Simon Clydesdale told the Advertiser’s Stephen

manhood that you didn’t have control of the remote?”

Walsh that energy companies would be “eyeing up” the area of natural beauty after the UK Government licensed it for fracking exploration.

Kayaker and the sub ■ Rosneath waiter Michael Ferguson (19) is beating the daily commute’s traffic by taking a kayak to work.

Michael’s short trip across the Gare Loch has not been without incident, however. One morning he had to wait while a submarine came in. His bosses “weren’t too happy” that he was late.

Row over remote ■ A Garelochhead man ended up in court after verbally abusing his partner and smashing a remote control against a wall during a row.

Deferring sentence on Paul Brown for three months, Sheriff John Herald said: “Was it an attack on your

The big Story Regenerated by Christmas ■ A £6.6 million regeneration project for Helensburgh’s historic town centre and West Bay Esplanade will be completed by Christmas, Gillian McGee reported.

Though Argyll and Bute Council’s CHORD (Campbeltown, Helensburgh, Oban, Rothesay, Dunoon) project for the town was six months behind schedule, a spokesman for the local authority said the final phases would be ready to begin once the seafront and Colquhoun Square were finished.

Contractors MacLay Civil Engineering Ltd, meanwhile, held a public meeting in which project chiefs outlined the scope, methodology and timescales for the works.

Contracts manager Drew Dunion said that, while such information nights were a contractual obligation, he wanted as many people as possible to attend them.

Mr Dunion added that, during the latter phases, road closures could be expected on East Princes Street and Sinclair Street.

EVENING ALL Edinburgh Evening News

Evening Express

Evening Times

Greenock Telegraph

Evening Telegraph

■ An ex-soldier who

■ An Aberdeen student

■ Passengers flying

■ Developers have been

■ The body of a

turned up to evict tenants while wearing body armour and a knuckleduster has been fined £750 at Edinburgh Sheriff Court.

Thomas Carroll (30) had been asked by a landlord to help with the eviction.

The court heard Carroll suffered post-traumatic stress after serving in Iraq.

received a cut lip after a seagull snatched food from inside his mouth.

Robert Cruikshanks (22) was eating focaccia bread when the bird struck.

He said: “It bust my lip open and grabbed the piece of food out of my mouth… It stuck its beak in my mouth.”

from Glasgow Airport face the shortest security queue of any major airport in the UK, according to a survey by the Civil Aviation Authority.

Average queuing time in Glasgow was 3.3 minutes, while Edinburgh passengers waited double that time.

given the go-ahead to build 33 homes on a Stone Age burial site, which will be excavated first by archaeologists.

Despite 12 objections from members of the public regarding traffic and parking problems, Inverclyde Council’s planning board backed the Inverkip development.

Dundee lollipop man lay undiscovered in his home for four weeks until a window cleaner found him.

Neighbours said Pat Dagan (83) was a “lovely man”, who was very popular in the neighbourhood. Mr Dagan served in the Merchant Navy and worked at Timex.

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

22 l

VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST

NEWS BLOGS Personalities will still count

By Zaiba Malik ❘ The Garden Lobby Anyone who thought First Minister Alex Salmond’s charisma would see him through the first debate with Better Together leader Alistair Darling was in for a rude awakening, said Zaiba Malik on The Garden Lobby. She said “‘charismatic’ is not always what people want” and that by challenging Mr Salmond to imagine he was wrong on currency, he tapped into this “public sentiment”. She added that this was not an issue of policy but one of personality, which will be an important factor in the referendum.

■ A “supermoon”, which appears bigger than

usual because of its proximity to the earth, seen behind a communications tower near Harthill.

■ Andrew Douglas, from the Stuart Highlanders Pipe Band, and Grace Carruthers (5) launched the Glasgow International Piping Festival.

www.thegardenlobby.com

Currency veto was good politics

By George Eaton ❘ The Staggers Despite fears that rejecting a currency union would be perceived as “bullying”, the tactic has been successful claimed New Statesman political editor George Eaton on the magazine’s rolling blog. He said First Minister Alex Salmond’s threat to default on Scotland’s share of debt is an act of “desperation” as it would “render Scotland an economic pariah”. He said the currency quagmire has shown “why it’s wrong to raise the question of independence in the first place”.

■ The effect Hurricane Bertha’s tail end had on Scotland was captured by Inverness Outlanders.

www.newstatesman.com/the-staggers

Time for the “vision thing”.

By Alex Bell ❘ Scottish Review Both Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling need a “moral compass” rather than a reliance on economic figures if they are to triumph in the referendum, said Alex Bell, a former advisor to the First Minister. He said Mr Salmond must expose the “fatalism” of the No camp, which offers “a 19th-century answer” to “21st-century problems”. Bell said imagining a new world is a “burden” that falls on the First Minister, but Scotland is ready for one. www.scottishreview.net

Council wrong on Palestinian flag

By Andrew Morrison ❘ ThinkScotland Glasgow’s decision to fly the Palestinian flag above the City Chambers in solidarity with the people of Gaza outraged Andrew Morrison on ThinkScotland. He said the council “has no business taking stances” on such a divisive issue. www.thinkscotland.org.uk the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

■ Drums were draped with military colours during the drumhead service at Edinburgh Castle to mark the centenary of World War One.

■ Alexander Wanstall viewed part of the 1,000 replica Commonwealth War gravestones forming a temporary memorial in Holyrood Park.

NEWS TWEETS #panda (Very) slow news day.

Panda ‘believed to be’ pregnant. Again. X all media.

So the panda is pregnant? I wonder if Bamboo will do half-price drinks to celebrate?

Christine May @poliauntie

Andy Coyle @STV_Andy

Any bets on for the panda giving birth on September 18th?

stx @stx

l 23

VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST good week House prices on the up Property prices in Scotland are rising almost twice as fast as those in the rest of the UK. A new study said prices north of the border increased by eight per cent in the last year, compared with 4.2% across England and Wales.

Tent up for tee time Fans of the Ryder Cup who can’t afford highcost rental properties in Perthshire next month may be able to stay in a tented village.

Businessman Neill Fenton wants to give visitors a low-cost option in Auchterarder.

■ Our word cloud frequently amalgamates all the week’s top stories from the Scottish papers, with greatest prominence given to the most frequently used words.

GOSSIP OF THE WEEK

bad week

role” when auditioning, while the Scottish Daily Mirror said the 56-year-old thinks too much had been made about his age.

“Who cares? Doctor Who is over 2,000-years-old,” he said.

Meanwhile, The Scottish Sun’s exclusive said the new Time Lord had signed up for a second series and a Christmas special – well before the new series starts on August 23.

Caught in a scrum Two thieves who tried to raid a rugby team’s dressing room were caught in the act by 40 burly players. The Scottish Sun’s Pamela Paterson revealed how Edinburgh Accies players confronted the pair as they tried to flee with wallets, cash and iPods.

Where’s Clyde?

Glasgow City Council was forced to remove statues of Commonwealth Games mascot Clyde ahead of schedule after one was stolen.

Officials acted after a Clyde mascot was taken from a street in Govan.

Michelle’s supporting role

Doctor in fine health ahead of terrestrial TV debut Marr’s miracle improvement Scot Peter Capaldi has been all over the newspapers this week as his debut as the new Doctor Who draws ever closer.

In the wake of a special screening of the world premiere in Cardiff, The Herald reported how Capaldi “had not realised he was the producer’s first choice for the

BBC Sunday breakfast presenter Andrew Marr, who suffered a debilitating stroke, has seen a “radical improvement” in his condition, reported the Scottish Daily Mail.

The paper said the Scot has been able to abandon an electronic brace on his ankle which helped him to stand up and walk.

Bra tycoon Michelle Mone’s life story is to be turned into a movie, reported The Scottish Sun’s Stuart McDonald.

The paper said she has signed a deal to make a film based on her autobiography Fight to the Top.

Reality bites in Fife Stars of the hit reality TV series Duck Dynasty took in the Inverkeithing Highland Games on a visit to Scotland.

The fuel gauge strikes back A woman came to the aid of actor Ewan McGregor after his car ran out of fuel on a US road, said The Herald.

Madeleine Valazquez came to the Star Wars star’s aid “in the middle of nowhere” as he drove his MG through Utah.

How awesome would it be to have a little IndyPanda?

China will still own the baby panda.

Alex Salmond will, of course, insist that Scotland can still use it.

The wee pandas are having a baby!!!

The cheeky little rascals are intent on embarrassing the Tories.

How good a job title is “Director of Giant Pandas”?

Edinburgh panda gets pregnant as loads of people are boozing at the festival. I can’t be the only one thinking “drunken dare gone wrong”?

Wings Over Scotland @WingsScotland

David Lea @redarsedbaboon

Euan Bryson @EuanPaulBryson

Peter Walker @peterwalker99

James Martin @Pundamentalism 16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

24 l

Stooshie of the week

aye or ay ❘ eye ❘

1. means yes.

Usage: “Aye, these gestures matter.”

■ The decision by Glasgow City Council to fly the Palestinian flag above its city chambers in George Square has certainly provoked a reaction but it is hard to see why.

Fife Council is, after having to order a flag in specially, now doing the same while the Palestinian flag regularly flutters in the Dundee skyline as the city is twinned with Nablus.

Critics say that taking a side in the long-running conflict is a mistake and that by firing rockets into Israel from civilian areas, Hamas is goading Israel into action and that by sacrificing innocent civilians they will provoke the international condemnation they are seeking.

Others take a different tack and say it is hypocritical of councils to make a show of support for the victims in Gaza when they have remained silent over atrocities elsewhere in the world.

But reducing the quagmire of the Middle East into a simple for or against argument does nobody any favours.

It is possible to recognise Israel has a right to exist and believe the response to rocket attacks is disproportionate and self-defeating. Likewise, it is possible to believe that Hamas

is also responsible for the carnage that has taken place in Gaza in recent weeks.

While there may be a simple solution – two states – there is no easy route to it. Israel will continue to defend itself from an organisation dedicated to its destruction.

For people half a world away the only response, indeed, the only sane response, is to sympathise with the victims of this bloody and futile war.

Those are overwhelmingly Palestinian.

Flying Palestine’s flag may be a small gesture but it shows the tragedies of each innocent death are not being forgotten.

Remembering the human cost of this conflict is not the same as picking a side but may just help remind people on both sides that not only is the world watching, the vast majority desperately wants the killings to stop.

Glasgow, of course, has a history of such political grandstanding.

It awarded Nelson Mandela the Freedom of the City and renamed a square in the city centre, home to the South African embassy, after him while he languished in jail. It may have been a small gesture but the first step towards a better way is expressing a wish for it. That still rings true today.

Solidarity or stupidity?

Are Glasgow and Fife Councils right to fly the Palestinian flag?

AS ITHERS SEE US!

O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us!

To a Louse ❘ Robert Burns centuries-old ramparts and The Los Angeles Times’ Henry Chu gaze across the border at highlighted how expatriate Scotland just two miles away, Scots want a say in next can get to Edinburgh by train month’s referendum, and – which he does once a week pinpointed Scots living in – faster than to the nearest Berwick-upon-Tweed as English city, Newcastle-uponexamples.

Tyne, but can’t cast a ballot”.

He noted how 82-year-old “Only people living in Ian Cowe “can stand on the Scotland proper have the the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

right to vote in the binding plebiscite, leaving “expatriate” Scots such as Cowe without a say in the matter, regardless of their family history, emotional ties or sense of Scottish identity,” Chu commented.

He went on to say that he found it odd that resettled Scots “find themselves on

the outside looking in as their birthplace faces perhaps the most momentous decision it will make during their lifetimes”.

“While some shrug, others chafe at being shut out,” he continued.

“The town’s soccer and rugby teams compete in Scottish leagues, bagpipers busk for money on the main drag and cafes sport names like Thistle Do Nicely, after the Scottish national emblem.

“Plenty of Scots here care deeply about what lies ahead for their ancestral land after September 18. They just can’t do anything about it.”

l 25

Stooshie of the week

naw

❘ naw ❘

1. means no or not.

Usage: “Naw, it’s a gesture that will cause friction.”

A number of Kenyans made the trip to Glasgow’s Commonwealth Games but, as well as embracing the “amazing” and “warm” reception shown to visitors by the Scottish public throughout the fortnight, the Nairobi-based Daily Nation said some Scottish business people had “devised many ways of making a kill” from the Games.

“One of the areas they have targeted is making their pound stronger,” it said, adding that the exchange rate had been hiked by 20% to 30% from £1.6 against the US Dollar to between £1.8 and £1.9.

After seeing a woman sporting a cap with the single word “Naw” on it during a recent trip to Edinburgh, The Montreal Gazette’s Mark Abley said it was interesting how the woman “wanted to signal her loyalty to the United Kingdom, yet also wanted to show that she was a proud Scot”.

He reflected on words used in the debate so far, ranging from “feartie” and “scunnered” to “stooshie”.

“I have no idea what will happen in the September vote, but I find it lichtsome that the Scots tongue continues to thrive,” he concluded.

■ There’s an old saying that you should never talk about politics, religion or money when on a social night out, as it can often get messy.

And there’s a case to be made for that saying to apply in this situation as well.

Both Fife and Glasgow City Councils took the decision to fly the Palestinian flag above public buildings as a way of showing solidarity with those affected by the conflict in Gaza.

Glasgow Lord Provost Sadie Docherty wrote to Vera Baboun, mayor of Bethlehem, offering her “heartfelt sympathy” to the people of Gaza, while Fife Council leader David Ross said he hoped flying the flag would bring “strength to the public pressure for a lasting ceasefire which can help bring about peace and stability in the area”.

But one could argue that such a move could be seen as merely gesture politics of the worst kind and will do nothing to alleviate the terrible suffering being felt on either side of the conflict.

The gestures are noble ones and the intentions were purely good, of that there can probably be no doubt. And there can be no doubt that by flying the Palestinian flag neither Glasgow or Fife can be

seen as somehow legitimising Hamas and victimising Israel.

That is clearly not the intent.

However, the fact such a symbolic action will cause offence and deep division in their own communities means the flagpoles should have stayed bare in this instance.

Flying a flag could be viewed by some as taking one particular side, and that does no-one any favours in a conflict where losses on both sides have been heavy and clearly unnecessary.

The facts may speak for themselves that scores more Palestinians than Israelis have been killed since fighting between Israel and Hamas began in early July.

That, however, should not be the point. One loss on either side is one too many, so just as the Israel response must be flagged up as disproportionate and heavy-handed, there must also be condemnation of Hamas terrorists and their use of civilians as human shields to protect its forces.

The people of Gaza have suffered enough and the conflict must end. But elected officials here in Scotland should be in office to work on behalf of all of their constituents, not make personal political statements on a whim.

Scots are “perhaps the most patient and friendly people one can hope to come across”, commented Sanjay Nair in The Straits Times.

And he suggested that Singapore’s athletes at Glasgow 2014 had thrived by learning the Scottish “lingo”.

One phrase Nair particularly enjoyed was “a nod’s as guid as a wink tae a blind horse”, and he highlighted how football fans would be well aware that famous Scottish managers Alex Ferguson and Gordon Strachan (pictured right) “were sometimes harder to decipher than their tactics”.

When asked if he knew he any Scottish, Nair said “aye, jist a wee bit” but noted if “all else fails and you still want to hold a conversation with a local, out comes the smartphone for a translation

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

26 l

REVIEW & Preview

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL COMEDY

Adam Riches PLEASANCE DOME Until August 24 ■ A former winner of the Edinburgh Comedy Award, Adam Riches brings us another swathe of characterbased comedy, which only works as well as the audience members who are dragged up to play a part in every single scene. Fortunately, the front

Bridget Christie THE STAND Until August 25 ■ After years doing largely ignored hour-long Fringe shows, Bridget Christie hit full-on paydirt last August by scooping the Edinburgh Comedy Award with a passionate and hilarious show about misogyny. She’s back with another hour which takes apart patriarchal attitudes in this country and the critics are in absolute raptures.

For The List, Kelly Apter write that “in her own small way, she is handing women a set of empowering tools, opening men’s eyes and giving us all pause for thought”, while for website Chortle, Steve Bennett concluded that “it’s astonishing how much she’s packed into the hour, both in terms of sneaking serious content under the radar, and in the number of brilliantly funny ideas surrounding it”.

Bruce Dessau of The Evening Standard enjoyed the playfulness: “comedy geeks who know she is married to Stewart Lee will get added laughs from her cartoonish portrayal of her ‘fictional onstage husband’ as a sexist brute”, and Time Out’s Jonny Ensall hailed her “groundbreaking stand-up that whips up anger, yes, but also, more crucially, galvanises support”.

Jay Richardson of The Scotsman was alone in thinking that it didn’t quite hang together: “For all its passionate polemic, this feels like a series of arguments accumulated over 12 months rather than a concrete, coherent show.”

Average rating 8/10

What Does The Title Matter Anyway?

UNDERBELLY Until August 19 ■ 1990s nostalgia goes into overdrive at the McEwan Hall as Clive Anderson comperes a rotating cast of favourites from the Whose Line Is It Anyway? heyday. The likes of Josie Lawrence, Greg Proops and Colin Mochrie are being

Average rating 8/10

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL ART kennardphillipps: Demo Talk SUMMERHALL Until September 26 ■ Peter Kennard and Cat Phillipps have been passionate commentators of the Iraq War, making a series of artistic responses to the conflict. As well as the disturbing selfie of Tony the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

rows of his shows tend to be populated by those who are more than up for the challenge. Steve Bennett for Chortle insisted that “Adam Riches is the sort of character comedian that should make almost all the others think about packing up their wigs and props and skedaddling out of town”.

At The List, Brian Donaldson reckoned that “the script might not always be bang on, but Riches has the perfect safety net; his riffing with those he’s charmed onto the stage is never less than flawless” and Alex Hardy at The Times hailed Riches as “exuberantly funny as he becomes a succession of exaggerated oddballs, all of them deeply recognisable”.

joined by some of the younger adlibbing bucks on each performance. Brian Logan of The Guardian was swept away on a wave of goodwill: “There’s so much love in the room, and these improv old-timers are so effortless, it feels like there’s no way for this show to fail.”

For Suzanne Black in The List, the fare delivered was a close approximation of the TV programme that ultimately spawned this Fringe run: “Like an episode of the show, it’s a mixed bag with moments of gut-busting hilarity tempered by too many audience suggestions involving penises.” The Independent’s Veronica Lee had a ball and praised the host: “not every sketch worked brilliantly, although Anderson was quick to end things on a good gag.”

Average rating 7/10 Blair (pictured), current leaders David Cameron and Vladimir Putin are also featured in this satirical swipe at power. For The List, Rachael Cloughton was impressed and shocked: “The Financial Times’ pink sheets are scattered across the walls of the exhibition space at Summerhall, some with the silhouette of David

Cameron or Vladimir Putin emerging through the share index. In other copies of the paper, the artists scratch away at these world leaders’ hazy visage, revealing distressing scenes of war; what the artists describe as ‘the victims of traded profit’.”

Average rating 8/10

l 27

REVIEW & Preview EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE

FILM

The Trial Of Jane Fonda

The Inbetweeners 2 (15)

ASSEMBLY ROOMS Until August 24 ■ Back in 1988, Jane Fonda was preparing to make her new movie Stanley & Iris. But it was to be plagued by protesters, who were still upset about her controversial anti-war stance. In order to placate them she agreed to hear their objections, and this play with Anne Archer as Fonda is the story of that meeting.

Lyn Gardner in The Guardian was wholly unimpressed damning it as a “static production about as inventively staged as the average school play” while Charlotte Runcie in The Telegraph was a little more, em, fonda the play stating that “Archer’s performance is engaging throughout, particularly as she emerges from haughty film star into older, wiser woman”.

For The Scotsman, Joyce McMillan was left disappointed: “Terry Jastrow’s script and production never quite measure up to the potential of the story.”

Starring: Simon Bird, James Buckley, Joe Thomas

Average rating 6/10

Average rating 6/10

Cuckooed

The Expendables 3 (12A)

The Unbeatables (U)

TRAVERSE THEATRE Until August 24 ■ Following on from the success of his one-man play Bravo Figaro, a wonderfully moving tale regarding his father’s love of opera, Mark Thomas is back with another theatrical piece, Cuckooed, about betrayal, activism and the arms trade.

In the British Theatre Guide, Philip Fisher stated that “Thomas takes his audience through a tale of political activism and espionage that takes the breath away”, while Lyn Gardner in The Guardian hailed Thomas for “playing mischievously with the pretences of theatre as he explores the uses and misuses of deception and reminds us that you should never believe everything you are told”.

And writing for The Stage, Gerald Berkowitz believed that “time and his comic sensibility allow Thomas to speak with more rueful irony than rage”.

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas

Voices: Rob Brydon, Anthony Head, Rupert Grint

Average rating 7/10

■ With the first Inbetweeners movie smashing all kinds of box office records, this sequel is on fairly solid ground.

The quartet of lads may be a little older but there’s no chance of any kind of wisdom being imparted here: this is frolics and filth all the way. In The Herald, Alison Rowat was generally repelled by the characters’ antics, but concluded that “its saving grace, however, is that underneath it all the pals since childhood are really rather sweet”.

Emma Simmonds in The List wrote that the film’s appeal is largely down to the well-honed chemistry engendered by the lead actors: “The formula is refreshed by energetic, flagrantly populist direction and scenarios where no humiliation is too eye-gougingly embarrassing or grossout.”

■ An incredible star cast is assembled for this third instalment of the boneheaded action franchise including Harrison Ford, and Dolph Lundgren but none of it cheered Scotland on Sunday’s Siobhan Synnot: “basic plotting, clunky banter and valuable insights into how cosmetic surgery can go badly awry.”

■ Despite the list of British names doing voice work on this animated film about arcade football teams who come to life, this is an Argentinian feature.

The Herald’s Alison Rowat wished someone had blown the full-time whistle on the project, bemoaning jokes that would only make sense to football fans and the lack of a coherent story.

Average rating 6/10

Average rating 4/10 16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

28 l THIS WEEK

SCOTS on the box

REVIEW & preview

Worth catching…

A cop-based comedy-drama gets a critical mauling while a popular broadcaster gets to talk about some of his favourite Scottish writers

TV: Walter

BBC One ❘ Shown on August 8 ■ As far as ‘pilot’ comedydramas go, there seem to be few who will mourn Walter should it not be handed a full series.

Adrian Dunbar (pictured) stars as the eponymous cop investigating the death of a fellow officer while trying to avoid the new broom sweeping through his station.

It’s fair to say that Julie McDowall in The Herald was not exactly impressed: “This programme was so poor I was wickedly amused. Then disbelieving. Then angry. Why, BBC, why? There must be young comedy writers out there who are doing better work than this.

The law of averages says so. For God’s sake utilise them!”

In The Sunday Herald, Damien Love was slightly more measured in his contempt: “The show reaches for a tone somewhere between New Tricks and Rev, but it runs out of steam before getting there.”

Andrew Marr’s Great Scots BBC Two, Saturday August 16, 8.15pm ■ It’s good to see Andrew Marr back on our screens after his recent health worries and in this three-part series, he explores the writers who have reflected, defined and challenged Scottish national identity.

The opening episode begins with a very unlikely literary hero. James Boswell was a man torn between his patriotic duty at home and his desire for fame and adventure in lands further afield.

For Marr, it’s Boswell’s colourful life and work that seems to capture so vividly the uneasy relationship between England and Scotland in the century that followed the act of union.

Marr has been a big fan of Boswell’s output ever since his mother gave him a copy of his diaries when he was just a boy.

It’s not hard to see why the tales of a young, ambitious Scot dazzled by the bright lights of London captured his imagination.

In this opening part, we will retrace Boswell’s journey from his privileged but austere childhood in Ayrshire, to the vibrant streets of London and on to the epic wilderness of the Western Isles.

RADIO: Johnnie Walker’s Sounds Of The 70s

Bryan Burnett GET IT ON

Radio 2, Sunday August 17, 3pm

BBC Scotland’s request show played cover versions that listeners reckoned were superior to the original

■ This week Midge Ure remembers the decade in which he achieved a number one single with the band Slik.

The 70s would also see him perform with punk’s Rich Kids and later Visage, before achieving lasting fame with Ultravox in the 80s.

Soft Cell

Stevie Wonder

Siouxsie and the Banshees

Elvis Presley

Tainted Love

We Can Work it Out

Dear Prudence

Hound Dog

Jimi Hendrix

The Clash

All Along the Watchtower

Lulu

Shout

The Beatles

Twist and Shout

The Futureheads Hounds of Love

I Fought the Law

■ Get It On ❘ Weekdays at 6.10pm

RADIO: Don’t Mention The Referendum

Louise White morning call

Radio 4, Monday August 18, 8pm

The following questions were asked on BBC Scotland’s weekday Morning Call programme

■ Not only is the independence referendum causing rifts across the political divide, it’s even having an effect on people who are normally very close. James Naughtie talks to the husbands and wives, children and parents and friends who have fallen out over Scottish independence.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

■ Is a campaign needed to get us talking to our elderly neighbours?

■ Are Scotland’s drivers being treated unfairly when it comes to speeding?

■ Should Scottish councils be flying the Palestinian flag?

■ Do we need to pay top salaries to get the best people running our councils?

■ Morning call ❘ Weekdays at 8.50am

l 29

REVIEW & preview

The best of this week’s books

SCOTTISH BESTSELLERS

A collection of true tales under The Moth umbrella gravitates onto this week’s Stooshie reading pile. There are also books about a large man, a Bengali family and a modern crucifixion

RECOMMENDED This Is A True Story

by The Moth

■ The Moth has been a New York storytelling institution since its inception in 1997, with experienced raconteurs or public-speaking novices telling a story from real life. Now, ahead of a Moth event at the Edinburgh International Book Festival (August 23), a warmly-received collection of tales is published. Neil Gaiman has penned an introduction and the book features pieces by Sebastian Junger and Malcolm Gladwell with David Pollock of The List concluding: “Many of these stories are vignettes of a much longer tale and the writing quality varies, but at their finest they transport the reader to the intense heart of another’s most vivid experience.”

In The Skinny, Alan Bett was very taken with the selection: “Yet while these tales transport us into the lives of others, they also invoke recognition with our own; there are connecting wires with even the most disparate experiences and existences.”

Fatty O’Leary’s Dinner Party

The Lives Of Others

Blackbird

by Alexander McCall Smith

by Neel Mukherjee

by Tom Wright

■ The prolific writer of the Mma Ramotswe tales brings us a comic novella about a rotund chap from Arkansas whose friends are called Porky and Tubby. Craziness begins when Fatty heads to Ireland for a holiday with his wife Elizabeth.

Frank Coughlan in Scotland on Sunday insisted that “what keeps the humour flowing is Alexander McCall Smith’s insistence on giving Fatty his own quiet dignity, even as he subjects him to ever greater embarrassments”.

■ Finding a spot on the Booker Prize longlist, The Lives Of Others is an epic saga telling the story of a Bengali family in Calcutta and a young man who tries to reimagine his place in the world. Stuart Kelly was full of praise with his review in Scotland on Sunday: “This is a bold and striking novel, the central conceit of which – can we ever imagine the lives of others? – is worked out with precision and gracefulness.”

■ A crucifixion is the rather grim start to this crime novel featuring Texan detective Jim Bonham. The victim is a local psychologist but much of the book’s insight is directed into working out just why Bonham is so riddled with his own problems.

For the Big Issue in Scotland, Doug Johnstone concluded that “Wright has produced a sultry, gothic piece of modern noir thriller writing, a dark but bleakly humorous take on the detective genre”.

LOOK OUT FOR...

■ Ann Cleeves, the author of the books which were adapted into the hit TV series Shetland, is teaming up with libraries in Orkney to stage live whodunit dramas.

Known as Murder at the Ravenswick Hotel, the murder mystery is set in a fictional Shetland hotel.

■ The scripts for season one of True Detective will be released next year ahead of the show’s second series.

Nic Pizzolatto (right) was the man responsible for putting some truly amazing words into the mouths of two cops played

by Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson.

HARD BACK 1. How To Train Your Dragon

by Cressida Cowell 2. Written In My Own Heart’s Blood

by Diana Gabaldon 3. Fatty O’Leary’s Dinner Party

by Alexander McCall Smith 4. The Great Tapestry Of Scotland

by Alistair Moffat and Andrew Crummy 5. A Scottish Pop-Up Book

by Lomond Books 6. An Illustrated Treasury Of Scottish Folk And Fairy Tales

by Theresa Breslin and Kate Leiper 7. Last Man Off

by Matt Lewis 8. The Sex Lives Of Siamese Twins

by Irvine Welsh 9. 101 Legendary Whiskies...

by Ian Buxton 10. Finding Nessie

by Graeme Wallace and Robin Edmonds

PAPER BACK 1. A Song For The Dying

by Stuart MacBride 2. The Critic

by Peter May 3. There Was A Wee Lassie Who Swallowed A Midgie

by Rebecca Colby and Kate McLelland 4. Extraordinary People

by Peter May 5. Scotland’s Referendum

by David Torrance and Jamie Maxwell 6. Dead Men’s Bones

by James Oswald 7. Flesh Wounds

by Chris Brookmyre 8. Bertie’s Guide To Life And Mothers

by Alexander McCall Smith 9. Katie In Scotland

by James Mayhew 10. Room On The Broom In Scots

by Julia Donaldson, Axel Scheffler and James Robertson ■ Lists from Waterstones 16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

30 l CHEF’S CORNER

SUE LAWRENCE The Scotsman

The smell of baking from a neighbouring tea-shop was “reminiscent of my childhood”, wrote Sue Lawrence.

“Sweet, sugary and buttery”, the aromas evoked “soda scones straight off the griddle” and border tarts just out of the oven.

The Dundee-born cook recommended that the smell of home-baking was much more likely to tempt house-hunters to buy than the more conventional ruse of roasting coffee.

For Sue, baking in Scotland is not “garishly decorated gateaux” or “iced buns” but “freshly baked Scotch pancakes, treacle scones” and “shortbread”. She concluded Scottish baking is not “fancy – but oh so delicious”.

tastiest FOOD & Drink Teacakes take off

Bang and BBQ

■ The opening ceremony for the Commonwealth Games led to a boost in sales for a prominent Scottish teacake manufacturer. The supermarket Waitrose reported a 62% rise in sales of Tunnock’s teacakes after giant, dancing versions of the snack featured in the opening ceremony.

One of the teacake costumes used in the ceremony was sold on the official auction site of the Commonwealth Games.

Billed as a “unique and rare piece of Scottish sporting history”, it fetched a winning bid of £1,605 – the same cost as 9,630 teacakes if bought in packs of six from Tesco.

■ Hopetoun Farm Shop near South Queensferry has launched a new pop-up BBQ grill and cafe. Open Thursday to Saturday, the cafe offers grilled to order dishes from the in-house butchery. Visitors can also try clay shooting.

Crustacean crooks ■ The Press and Journal reported on a lobster heist in Wick.

A quantity of live lobsters were stolen from lobster containers on board boats in Wick Harbour. Police appealed for witnesses to come forward.

New Stirling hotel ■ Hotel Colessio, the latest addition to the Aurora Hotel Collection, has opened in Stirling. Once Stirling Royal Infirmary, the building has been completely refurbished at a cost of £10 million. The 40-bedroom hotel features The Grill Room restaurant as well as a cocktail and piano bar.

More sushi for Dundee ■ Hot on the heels of Oshibori opening on the Nethergate, Dundee has welcomed a second sushi outlet. Jushi is a new juice and sushi bar on Westport and as well as serving fresh smoothies, fruit juices and a selection of sushi, Jushi also offers baguettes, wraps and filled rolls. Currently a grab-and-go operation, the owners hope to introduce sit-in facilities in the future.

New Aberdeen bar ■ Rye and Soda is a new bar in The Academy on Aberdeen’s Belmont Street.

Described as opening from “10.30am for breakfast/brunch morphing into a tapas/wine/cocktail bar in the evening”, among the dishes on offer are American-style pancakes, gourmet sandwiches and a carpaccio of monkfish and langoustine flavoured with Californian peppergrass and a coral dressing. The bar makes its own sodas, including soda flavoured with rhubarb, fennel and pear as well as a toasted walnut, cherry and orange version.

WINE OF THE WEEK MAS AMIEL MUSCAT DE RIVESALTES 2012 A lovely wine that should appeal to all tastes Sam Wylie-Harris weighed up the wines of LanguedocRousillon for her column. Its “diverse terrain, variety of grape style” and keen pricing all appealed to the writer. The area is cultivating a reputation as France’s answer to New World wines, she noted. Sam picked out this medium sweet Muscat from the wines included in the Sud de France Top 100 competition. The “alluring grapey nose” revealed itself as “bergamot on the palate” and also evoked “crystallised orange and citrus fruits”.

The Courier the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

RECIPE of the week

Simple Summer Gazpacho Alistair Craig, Head Chef at the Horseshoe Restaurant, Peebles Ingredients (serves 10) ■ 2 tbsp sugar ■ 1 tbsp salt ■ 6 red peppers ■ 8 plum tomatoes ■ 1/2 large cucumber ■ 1 garlic clove ■ 1 shallot ■ 8 sprigs of thyme ■ 2 sticks of celery ■ 4 tsp Tabasco ■ 1 litre tomato juice ■ 4 slices white bread, crust removed ■ 175ml olive oil ■ 1 tsp coriander seeds ■ 1/2 pint white wine ■ 2 tsp white wine vinegar ■ 1 dressed crab ■ Mayonnaise Method 1. Roughly chop peppers, cucumber, celery, tomatoes, shallot and garlic.

Place in a large bowl. Crush coriander seeds, pick thyme leaves and add to bowl of vegetables. Tear up bread and add to bowl along with all the liquids.

Cover and place in fridge for 48 hours.

2. Remove and then blend the ingredients until smooth. Pass the liquid through a fine sieve. Return soup to the fridge until ready to serve.

3. To serve, plate up soup then take dressed crab and mix crab meat with a spoonful of mayonnaise. Add a squeeze of lemon. Add spoonful of crab mix to centre of each soup dish.

Garnish with drops of good quality olive oil and a scattering of herbs. Dill or basil are a great match.

THE BEST RESTAURANT REVIEWS

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Credo 46 Queen Charlotte Street, Edinburgh EH6 7EX www.credorestaurant.co.uk ■ Four restaurants have come and gone in as many years on Credo’s Leith site, noted Richard Bath in Scotland on Sunday.

However, the critic forecasted that the latest arrival is here to stay.

New owners launched the restaurant earlier this year and Richard wrote that they brought a “fresh and creative eye”. This creativity was evident in the unconventional presentation of the starters and desserts which were served as platters to be shared by the table.

“Soggy, cold bruschetta” was the only “dud” starter in a range which also included a black pudding fritter described as an “intensely flavoured bundle of joy”. A “faultless” pork belly with “deep, percussive flavours” and a “succulent tandoori-spiced quail” were among the selection of main courses all judged to be excellent.

A self-confessed “pudding geek”, Richard thought the desserts were “amongst the best” he had eaten “outside of a top-end, fine dining restaurant”.

Thanks in part to a “bargain” bill in which three courses cost £18, Richard is certain that “Credo will keep going” and that he will be a repeat customer.

Score: 8/10 Scotland on Sunday

Serrano Manchego

Shahbaaz Tandoori

NY American Grill

The Milton Brasserie

297 Leith Walk, Edinburgh EH6 8SA No website

19 Rose Street, Aberdeen AB10 1TX www.shahbaaz-tandoori.com

Princes Square, 48 Buchanan Street, Glasgow G1 3JX www.nyamericangrill.co.uk

Milton of Crathes, Banchory AB31 5QH www.miltonbrasserie.com

The low-slung seats and tables at this new bar did Gaby Soutar’s back no favours but the “Spanish soul food” provided some solace.

Haggis croquettes were “stuffed with a silky rich mixture of béchamel and haggis” while she found a tortilla’s “generous wodge of egginess” to be “satisfying” and “the right side of stodgy”.

Unfortunately, a Russian salad reminded Gaby of “Seventies dinner party fare”.

More happily, a cheese platter benefited from “nutty manchego” and a “zingy blue cheese”.

“We could have picked all day” was the closing verdict.

The “council office chic” of the toilets at the longestablished Shahbaaz Tandoori got the thumbs-down from Gary Ralston but he liked the “low mood lighting” and “leather banquettes” of the dining room.

The food was “fresh, colourful and appetising” and he tucked into a king prawn qandari which was “lightly spicier than usual” featuring “big, boisterous pieces of seafood”. Gary’s companion judged a generous chicken tikka massala to be the “best of all” and described the restaurant as being “as good an Indian as you’ll find anywhere”.

The “smart, spacious interior” and “first class service” did not save this American-themed restaurant from a savaging

by Tam Cowan. Not mincing his words, The Scottish Sun’s reviewer described the food as “rubbish”.

A burger was “the worst” the critic had seen “this side of a drive-thru” while a “measly” Reuben deli sandwich was “dry, stodgy and tasteless”.

Tam doubted that the chefs had ever “seen a proper, gutbusting New York sandwich”.

New York is so great that it was named twice, noted Tam before thundering that this venue was “so bad you’ll only go once”.

Although a seven minute delay in the arrival of a starter irked The Press and Journal’s reviewer, the rest of the meal went smoothly.

Main courses of “Grampianreared lamb” and “Scrabsterlanded hake” impressed with the work that had gone into their “creation, taste combinations and presentation”. The hake in particular was “full of taste and so brilliantly white” that the reviewer “doubted if Dulux could have matched it”.

The meal finished with a rhubarb special which, like the other dishes, was judged “clever, well thought-out and delicious”.

Score: 15/20 The Scotsman

Score: 23/30 Daily Record

Score: 16/25 The Scottish Sun

Score: 4/5 The Press and Journal 16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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PROPERTY

INSIDE OUT – our Pick of the Scottish Market

Burnside of Kirkton Barns, Tayport, Fife Offers Over: £600,000 Savills ❘ www.savills.com n Burnside of Kirkton Barns was built in 1980 and subsequently substantially extended, offering spacious and flexible accommodation, mainly at ground floor level. The setting is truly impressive with open country views over its grounds of

10.8 acres. The layout is such that some reception rooms and bedrooms are interchangeable to suit individual requirements.

Running costs have been reduced with the installation of 18 roof mounted solar panels, with currently 50% of the electricity generated being sold back to the grid: returning an annual premium of approximately £1,800 per annum after domestic usage. A stunning, well-situated and modern house.

BIG BUDGET

Ladeddie Steading, by St Andrews Offers Over: £595,000

South Leylodge Farmhouse, Kintore, Aberdeenshire Offers Over: £445,000

Pagan Osborne ❘ www.paganosborne.com

Strutt and Parker ❘ www.struttandparker.com

n This steading has been converted to offer either a superb ninebedroom family home or a Bed and Breakfast business, with an additional cottage to let. It is currently used as a family home with four en-suite rooms for bed and breakfast. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

n A captivating traditional farmhouse with an impressive recently built stone cottage in a fantastic countryside setting close to Westhill. A traditional country residence with huge character and a warm family charm.

PROPERTY

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7 Dundarroch Gardens Broughty Ferry

5 Anderson Drive Balmullo

Thorntons

Offers over: £335,000

An exceptional, bright and spacious family home that has a contemporary external finish.

❘ www.paganosborne.com

Fixed Price: £650,000

Pagan Osborne

A fourbedroom detached villa which benefits from a stateof-the-art German Leicht kitchen.

Willowvale, 1 Carron Lane Dunfermline

8 Edington Place Dysart

McEwan Fraser

Delmor

Offers over: £330,000

Offers over: £315,000

A wonderful detached executive family bungalow in an immaculate and stylish order.

A fabulously decorated detached villa offering goodsized rooms with superb panoramic sea views.

❘ www.delmor.co.uk

❘ www.mcewanfraserlegal.co.uk

❘ www.thorntons-property.co.uk

FANTASTIC FIFE

CLIMBING THE LADDER

6 South Chesters Lane, Bonnyrigg Offers Over: £199,950

Mulberry Cottage, South Street, Falkland Offers Over: £165,000

McEwan Fraser Legal ❘ www.mcewanfraserlegal.co.uk

Pagan Osborne ❘ www.paganosborne.com

n An excellent opportunity has arisen to acquire this highly desirable, five-bedroom mid-terraced townhouse, situated within the Bonnyrigg area of Midlothian. Viewing of this property is highly recommended.

n This traditional two-bedroom terraced cottage is located in the historical village of Falkland. It has been upgraded to a high standard by the present owner, whilst retaining the character of the building. There is a landscaped garden with a garden hut.

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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the best travel writing Stephen Jardine Daily Record ■ Revisiting Singapore after more than 20 years, Stephen Jardine found that the city state had been through “a huge period of change”. In particular, the transformation of the Marina Bay area and its hotels struck him.

“One of the most dramatic hotels in the world”, Marina Bay Sands resembles “three skyscrapers joined together at the top by a giant Arabian boat”. Visiting at midnight, Stephen found that the boat was a “swish roof terrace with an infinity pool and even a night club”.

For more historical attractions, Stephen recommended Chinatown and Little India as areas where

TRAVEL THE WORLD

City break, Singapore

you can “immerse yourself in culture and tradition that hasn’t changed for generations”. A reminder of colonial times, the grand Fullerton Hotel was “originally the general post office”. The building was constructed in 1928 and visitors can “still walk through the tunnel that brought overseas mail from the dockside for sorting”.

Stephen said hawker markets were the place to try “brilliant, local food” at “bargain prices”, singling out sweet chilli crab as “the perfect dish to enjoy with a cold beer at the end of a long day”. Singapore is “dynamic”, “exciting” and “going places”.

“You should go too,” he urged, and pledged he wouldn’t wait another 20 years to return.

TRAVEL SCOTLAND

TRAVEL BRITAIN

TRAVEL EUROPE

Edinburgh Festivals

Slayley Hall, Northumbria

Portugal

David Wilcock ❘ The Press and Journal

Ines Watson ❘ Scottish Daily Express

Chris Wiltshire ❘ Evening Times

■ During August’s festivals, “every nook and cranny” of the “medieval Old Town” in Edinburgh becomes a stage, wrote David Wilcock. While big names often sell out quickly, “smaller shows are cheaper – or even free”. This gives audiences the chance to catch future big names before they are “famous, in rehab or appearing on I’m a Celebrity”, he noted wryly. A hike up Arthur’s Seat will “reinvigorate after over indulgence”, he advised.

■ Not a golfer, Ines Watson remained untempted by the two championshp courses at this hotel. Instead, the writer enjoyed wandering the walkways of the “beautiful Japanese gardens” and the estate’s “rolling countryside”. An “excellent” dinner in the Duke’s Grill set up Ines for a day exploring Hadrian’s Wall. He recovered with a “skin radiance facial” in the “luxurious spa where your troubles just seem to melt away”.

■ Being winked at by a rare breed of cow was an unusual introduction to Portugal’s Alentejo region. Happily, Chris recovered to learn about the area’s “renowned black pork, salt cod, wild mushroom and asparagus dishes”. He also enjoyed strolling around “the beautifully preserved medieval town of Evora”, especially its “second century Templo Romano”.

Alentejo offers many reasons for going beyond Algarve’s beaches, he said.

TRAVEL NEWS Seaside resort costs

Oban is one of the 20 most expensive seaside resorts in the UK, according to a survey from Cheaprooms. co.uk.

Based on the cheapest price for a double room in accommodation with three or more stars, Oban

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

was ranked the sixth most expensive at £84 a night.

Ayr was number 16 at £72 a night.

At £123, St Ives in Cornwall was the most expensive.

Outlander gets on the map VisitScotland has launched an online map showing the Scottish locations featured in the best-selling Outlander

novels. Written by American author Diana Gabaldon, the books follow the adventures of Claire Randall and Jamie Fraser in 18th century Scotland.

Among the locations featured on the map are the Palace of Holyrood House; the Royal Mile; Urquhart Castle and Loch Ness. The online guide

also highlights numerous visitor attractions and historical sites which have a strong connection to the Outlander stories.

Launched to coincide with the US network premiere of a 16-part TV adaptation of the novels, the map can be found at www.visitscotland.com/ outlander

THE BEST OF the great outdoors the garden experts Hot weather can wreak havoc

The future is orange ■ Crocosmia, better known as Montbretia, was Agnes Stevenson of the Sunday Post’s plant of the week.

The traditional orange variety was a familiar sight until new varieties with yellow and red flowers began to appear.

However, now there are dozens to choose from, including a giant version that grows to 1.2m.

■ The recent hot spell meant that, for once, the problem for gardeners was too little rather than too much water, wrote the Herald’s Dave Allan.

He admitted that recent dreary summers meant he hadn’t paid sufficient attention to preparing for dry conditions, for example mulching extensively to prevent evaporation.

His delphiniums were the worst they’ve been for years and other plants, such as lettuce, spinach, the onion family and cauliflowers, were in danger of running to seed prematurely.

But he warned it’s important not to over-water, as roots can be stressed by soggy soil because they cannot absorb enough oxygen.

How to sow the seeds of success ■ For the Sunday Mail’s Carol Klein, propagating plants is a real pleasure.

The great majority of plants procreate from seed and if you try to emulate nature, you can’t go wrong.

The most crucial point about collecting seed is to gather it at exactly the right time, she said.

Seed is designed to be dispersed naturally and it’s best to collect it on a warm, sunny, dry day.

OOT AND ABOOT! Ben Nevis plant search

Mum’s mammoth walks

Great Glen Way boost

■ An intrepid team of mountaineers, geologists and botanists are carrying out a survey on the north face of Ben Nevis.

The Press and Journal said that it is hoped the survey will reveal the distribution of rare arcticalpine flora that is known to be present on the face.

Nevis Landscape Partnership has warned climbers of possible rock falls while the survey is ongoing.

■ A Dundee nurse has completed her mission to complete more than 1,000 walking routes.

Alison Hume was inspired to attempt the challenge when she was given a book of more than 1,000 walking routes by her daughter Gillian.

And she was joined by her daughter when she completed her last walk of the challenge, in the Galloway Forest near Loch Trool.

■ One of Scotland’s best known hillwalkers, Cameron McNeish, opened a new section of the Great Glen Way. The new £1m project has moved the path higher on the hillside, talking walkers above the trees, providing stunning views of Loch Ness.

Mr McNeish said: “Moving the path above the tree line has opened up some truly spectacular views which were not available before.”

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NATURE’S BEST ■ Edinburgh Zoo has confirmed it believes its giant panda Tian Tian is pregnant and may give birth at the end of the month, reported the Edinburgh Evening News.

Tian Tian was artificially inseminated earlier this year after attempts to bring her together with male partner, Yang Guang, failed.

Tian Tian also conceived last year, but in October it was announced that she was no longer pregnant.

The zoo said it was most likely that Tian Tian had reabsorbed the foetus late term.

However, zoo staff are now more hopeful than ever of a successful outcome this time around.

Iain Valentine, Director of Giant Pandas for the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, said: “This is all very new and complex science and we still have a bit of time to go yet as, like last year, the late loss of a cub remains entirely possible.”

Mr Valentine said Tian Tian’s behaviour will be monitored closely over the coming days, while two experts from China will fly in to give their advice in the next week.

The two pandas arrived in Scotland from China in 2011.

Weather Sunniest

– Lerwick, Shetland 14.2hrs

Coldest –

Braemar 1C (33.8F)

Wettest – Fair Isle 132.6mm

Warmest – Edinburgh 20C (68F)

Weather round-up:

There could be no mistaking the big weather story of the last seven days as parts of Scotland were battered by high winds and rain brought by the remnants of what was Hurricane Bertha.

Hurricane Bertha hit Caribbean islands before dissipating over the central Atlantic a week previously, although the storm still packed a punch as it arrived on Scottish shores. While high winds brought down some trees and power lines, The Herald noted that it was the rainfall that caused the most problems – particularly in northern parts of the country.

It said more than five inches of rain fell on Fair Isle, double the 2.7 inch average for the whole month of August, while Lossiemouth was also “deluged with more than four inches of rain” – compared to its typical 2.4 inch average. The Scottish Daily Mail said a wind speed of 108mph was recorded in the Cairngorms, with 46 flood alerts or warnings issued as the rain failed to let up.

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

l 37

CONSUMER

Three of the best... running gadgets

TRIED AND TESTED

Free, inspirational, and the ultimate calorie burner, running is one of the best ways to get fit – so here’s three clever gadgets will help you go that extra mile

Invisib le

SUN SPRAYS

Piz Buin Wet Skin Transparent Sun Spray £18.00 Boots

Hi Gear Hydration Pack £15.00

UP24 Activity Tracker £104.99

Tom Tom Cardio Watch £219.99

You’ll not want to be stopping at the shop for water bottles when you’re ‘in the zone’, yet you need to ensure dehydration doesn’t halt your progress. This compact backpack has the solution, giving you access to your H2O via an easy drinking tube. There’s also a place to attach a light should you wish to run in the dark, and some bungee cord on the back so you can stash your belongings away nice and securely.

The best way to describe the UP24 is as a daily dashboard.

Worn on the wrist, it’ll track all manner of activity such as sleep details, steps taken, distance travelled, calories burnt and then upload them to a dedicated app for you to track progress and set more goals. For extra inspiration, team up with friends who also own one and compare your results. It can’t help but bring out the competitive best in everyone.

With its built-in heart rate monitor, this latest product from Tom Tom is a stand-out addition to the swelling ranks of running watches. Very clever technology in the watch shines two lights on to your skin then gives an on-screen heart reading based on the subtle changes of blood colour that occur as you exercise.

A host of other functions and a solid build make this a worthy, if pricey jogging companion.

www.gooutdoors.co.uk

www.halfords.com

www.johnlewis.com

Ideal for water babies, this can be applied directly onto wet or dry skin and disperses evenly with minimum effort.

Nivea Sun Protect and Refresh Invisible Cooling Sun Spray £16.00 Boots Even in a high factor SPF50, you’ll be amazed how sheer this spray is. It’s super-fine, non-greasy and smells like holidays on application.

Eucerin Body Sun Spray Transparent £17.50 Boots

This lightly scented spray only comes in SPF50 but its transparency is impressive. It’s quick and easy to apply with a non-greasy consistency that absorbs effortlessly into skin.

DRIVE TIME

Kia cee-d 1.6 CRDi Price from £14,500

Suzuki Swift SX4 Price from £15,739

Citroen C4 Cactus Flair Price from £15,990

Andy Enright ❘ The Press and Journal

Jack McKeown ❘ The Courier

Tom Hunter ❘ The Scotsman

Kia is renowned for “offering value for money” and this model is no different.

A “seat at the wheel of this car is a very pleasant place to spend your time”, and the Kia cee’d is the “perfect example of a car that’s absolutely right for its time”.

“All of the planets have aligned” to deliver a vehicle that “does the right thing at the right time” and, although economics have played into Kia’s hands, there is a feeling this car would have succeeded anyway “through its sheer depth of engineering”. It’s a reasonably priced car, although “producers at Top Gear will need to look elsewhere for something appealingly inept”.

Suzuki has “always ploughed its own furrow” and the Swift SX4 is one of the “most niche cars on the market” – “a fourwheel drive supermini”. For people who live “just far enough into the sticks that winter bites”, something “with enough traction to handle some snow or autumn’s wet and muddy roads that doesn’t break the bank or cost a fortune to run could be just the ticket”.

Ultimately it’s “a bit of a curate’s egg” and is one of those cars that is “occasionally be handy to have”. You could get a Ford Focus for roughly the same cash but it will be “useful” and has a “certain charm about it” too.

The Cactus is “very hard to pigeonhole” – after all, “how many other five-door hatchbacks come with slabs of giant bubblewrap along their flanks and bumpers?”. The ‘airbumps”, as Citroen calls them, is a “clever idea that owes as much to form as to function”, and the Cactus cabin has “the unburstable feel of a favourite travel holdall, right down to the hard-wearing upholstery and leather luggage straps that serve as door handles”.

The 108bhp 1.2 litre petrol engine makes its first appearance under a Citroen bonnet and “it’s a sweet unit”, “nippy from a standstill” and delivering a “useful midrange punch”.

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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BUSINESS & FINANCE Hired, Fired & RETIRED

Viva Aviva! Cost-cutting boosts recovery momentum Half-year profits climb through £1bn and beat expectations as the insurance, investments and pensions group employing thousands of Scots workers begins to return to form ■ Chief executive Mark Wilson said Aviva “remains a turnaround business, but a turnaround business with momentum” after bettering City expectations for the first six months of 2014.

The new boss – who took over in January 2013, following the ousting of former chief Andrew Moss amid investor ire over performance and bonus payments – revealed a four per cent rise in operating profits and said cost-cutting measures had reduced outgoings by £568m a year, well ahead of his planned £400m target.

The company, which cut six per cent of its global workforce last year, said no more restructuring would be needed and it was down to “each cell in every business” to tackle its operating expense ratio and embrace a digital-first strategy.

Scotland could be set for a record year of new car sales after an

8.7%

rise in the number of motors shifted by dealerships during July trumped expectations in the industry.

COMMENTATORS SAY In The Scotsman, city editor Martin Flanagan noted that the group – which employs more than 2,000 people across its Scottish sites in Perth and Bishopbriggs – benefitted from the diversity of its offer, which includes a largely Scotlandbased general insurance business.

But he hailed the insurer’s “steady progress” as the “turnaround story” continues.

All the groups’ key metrics were “heading in the right direction,” Flanagan added, despite hits from the flooded West Country, a harsher than usual Canadian winter and the impact of George Osborne’s changes to the pension industry. Aviva’s “composite business model” helped it Statistics from the Scottish Motor Trade Association showed 14,403 new registrations during the month.

The body’s Douglas Robertson said it had anticipated a five per cent increase and was “very pleased” by a return which left it “close to 10% up for the first seven months of the year”.

Sales could reach 220,000 for the year – a new record for sales north of the border.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

here, too, Flanagan said, cushioning it in the long run.

“It looks as if a lot of the heavy lifting has been done already,” he concluded.

The Herald’s London report told how the latest stage of Aviva’s recovery had cheered investors.

Stock rose almost three per cent in a single session after Mr Wilson reported savings well ahead of his target run rate. The paper also reported how analyst consensus on the group’s shares had strengthened to a buy rating with investors “starting to believe in Aviva’s recovery story”.

At City AM Kate McCann said the “strong results” proved the company was “weathering the storm” creating by the Chancellor’s “sweeping changes” to the annuities market.

She joined other analysts in noting how Aviva’s fall in annuity sales was offset by a rise in bulk annuity revenues.

The website’s Julian Harris said the group was “slimming down and smartening up” under Mr Wilson.

■ Long-standing Stewart Milne managing director Glenn Allison is to step up to become the group’s chief executive, reported The Scotsman.

The Aberdeen-based, eponymous group’s founder will become executive chairman in the reshuffle and will focus on long-term strategy and business planning.

■ Drug maker GSK may be set to reveal RBS chairman Sir Philip Hampton (below) as the new head of its own board, according to The Daily Telegraph.

The paper reported the scandal-hit pharmaceutical group, may announce the appointment as early as next month.

■ New Serco boss Rupert Soames confirmed former Aggreko right-hand man Angus Cockburn is to join his turnaround efforts.

■ John Menzies is hunting a new boss after aviation division chief Craig Smyth’s surprise resignation.

BUSINESS & finance WEEK IN NUMBERS

200,000

The number of Scots workers employed in the financial services industry, according to sector body Scottish Financial Enterprise. Just one in ten support the economic arguments for independence according to a study by recruitment firm Marks Sattin.

160

The number of Colombian cities supplied with closed circuit television cameras by Peniciukbased provider IndigoVision.

The Herald said the firm – which also deployed CCTV technology at the World Cup in Brazil – expected to book operating profits of around £2.7m ahead of currency movements during the year to July.

20%

Law firm Burness Paull, which has offices in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Aberdeen, outlined how turnover had risen by a fifth to £46.3m during the 12 months to July. It counted Standard Life’s partnership with Andy Murray amongst its most high-profile deals as net profit jumped 25% to £20.7m.

Room at the inn But prices on the up ■ Ever tried to book a cheap midweek hotel room in Aberdeen? Looks like it could have just got even harder.

New figures from BDO found the Granite City’s May prices rose by 12% on the same month last year, giving the city’s hoteliers the highest ‘yield’ for three- and four-star rooms outside London.

Retail sales rose during the three months to the end of June, new figures have shown – but the

0.8%

increase was just half the rate of the UK as a whole. The result was still a major acceleration on the 0.1% rate of growth seen during the first quarter.

10bn

The number of additional barrels of hard-to-reach oil which could be unearthed from under the North Sea with the help of specialist technology, according to Perth firm Merlin ERD.

Inverness rose eight per cent, while Glasgow climbed 19% and Edinburgh slipped back 0.7% – but all remain well above the UK average.

The news came as The Press and Journal reported some Highland guest houses are receiving as many as 40 room enquiries each day – and queues for island car ferries.

Indyref blowing in the wind for Infinis ■ Renewable energy firm Infinis, which wants to build major onshore wind farms at Lochgilphead and in East Ayrshire, has put the projects on hold until after the Scottish independence referendum.

The Northhampton-based group, chaired by former SSE chief executive Ian Marchant, said construction for the schemes would only begin once the future for energy policy became clearer.

It already operates seven turbine arrays across the country and a small-scale hydropower scheme at Ballachulish in Glen Duror.

Infinis also its existing assets had suffered a fall in productivity amid calmer winds.

Its new projects would add 100MW of generating capacity to its portfolio, comfortably ahead of a 130MW to 150MW new generation target set for 2017.

COMMENTATORS SAY

86,110

The number of shoppers to visit Glasgow’s St Enoch Centre during the last Saturday of the Glasgow 2014 Commonwealth Games – a 10,000 increase on the same day last year.

General manager Anne Ledgerwood said Glaswegians did not avoid the city centre during the sporting events, helping retailers bag a 20% to 25% lift in sales.

l 39

Logging on for 20 years ■ It’s two decades since the first ever online sale was made.

And whoever bought Sting album Ten Summoner’s Tales from NetMarket in August 1994 is probably now wishing they had gone for something a little bit, well, cooler.

It’s now routinely blamed for the so-called ‘death of the high street’, with 95% of Scots having bought from the web.

Whatever the future, online has changed retailing forever.

STV spotted the momentous anniversary and warned how retail experts believe shops must continue to adapt if they are to survive in the battle against the web specialists.

But it noted that between 85% and 90% of all sales are still made in bricks and mortar stores – rather than fulfilled by post from massive warehouses like Amazon’s huge centre near Dunfermline (pictured).

In The Courier, business editor Graham Huband said e-commerce had proven to be a “game-changer” for the sector – and, in itself, “a global phenomenon”.

It has presented “headaches and opportunities”, he said – but added that he couldn’t begin to predict what the retail landscape would look like 20 years from now.

talking heads “There’s unprecedented demand for high-end brands likes ours in places such as Asia, North America, Russia and Europe as well as in our home market.”

BenRiach managing director Billy Walker (top) hails a “golden period” for the whisky industry, as he reported record profits of £8.9m during 2013.

“Incentives are required to encourage further investment in the basin [and] to turn around low levels of drilling as the reduction in activity levels is adversely affecting the outlook of contractor, service and companies in the wider supply chain.”

Ken Cruikshank, of industry body Oil & Gas UK, makes a fresh call for changes to the sector’s tax regime after a survey suggested declining confidence amid firms. HM Treasury is currently consulting on North Sea taxation.

“We’re not having to go at it in the same way as we were in 2012... but I don’t think we’re ever going to stop that process. ” Johnston Press chief executive Ashley Highfield outlines his approach to cost-cutting at the publisher, which counts The Scotsman and Edinburgh Evening News amongst its stable of titles.

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SPORT Scotland in world first

Rest of the field in awe of Rory McIlroy as he scoops back-to-back majors ■ Rory McIlroy hailed a summer beyond his wildest dreams after securing the USPGA Championship at Valhalla – and a second major on the bounce.

McIlroy become the third youngest player of the modern era – after Tiger Woods and Jack Nicklaus – to win four of golf’s biggest prizes, while he also became the first man to win back-to-back majors since Ireland’s Padraig Harrington in 2008.

And the manner of his victory showed that the 25-year-old has clearly developed steely resolve and a huge sense of character, after gutsily coming back from losing his lead.

The Northern Irishman had earlier seen his overnight oneshot lead wiped out on the front nine and was three shots behind the leaders at one point before taking control after the turn.

He came back to pip rivals Phil Mickelson, Rickie Fowler and Henrik Stenson – all of whom had led at one stage or another on a gripping final day – to build on his Open success at Hoylake.

While entertaining, the final day proved to be a nightmare for the Scottish media as a two-hour rain delay meant the competition finished in near darkness in the States – causing UK-based journalists a major headache when it came to deadlines.

The Scotsman also pointed out that it was inconvenient for the players, with Colin Montgomerie just one of those who suggested a two-tee start could have eased some problems as he finished five over par. Marc Warren was the best placed Scot, finishing tied for 15th on 11 under par.

Russell Knox and Stephen Gallacher missed the cut.

■ Scotland’s rugby team will continue their trend of taking international rugby to pastures new later this year.

Rugby Park, normally home of Kilmarnock Football Club, will play host to the forthcoming Autumn Test match against Tonga on Saturday, November 22.

And, in what Scottish Rugby described as a “globally ground-breaking” event, it will be the first ever international involving a Tier One country on an entirely artificial pitch.

Scottish Rugby’s Chief Executive Mark Dodson said: “Clearly it’s home to Kilmarnock FC but it was the original home of Kilmarnock Rugby Club, so I suppose you could say that rugby is coming home!”

Meanwhile, Scotland head coach Vern Cotter (pictured) said he was “looking forward” to the Autumn Tests – including games against Argentina and New Zealand at BT Murrayfield – and said the 2012 defeat to Tonga at Pittodrie “still hurts”.

OTHER NEWS Anxious wait for Tiger US Ryder Cup captain Tom Watson stressed he would take Tiger Woods to Gleneagles next month – but only if he is “healthy and playing well”.

A recurrence of a back injury has cast doubt on whether or not Woods will be given a wildcard to face Europe, although Watson told the media he “would be a fool not to consider him”.

Mo explains Glasgow miss Mo Farah revealed that a tooth infection was the reason he was forced to pull out of Glasgow 2014.

The Olympic 5,000m and 10,000m champion told BBC News he had to be airlifted to hospital after collapsing following a training run. He said medics initially thought he had a heart problem.

Murray defeated by Tsonga Andy Murray’s preparations for the US Open took a dent as he lost 7-6 (7-5) 4-6 6-4 to JoWilfried Tsonga in the Rogers Cup quarter-finals in Toronto.

The Scot let slip a 3-0 lead in the final set as the Frenchman beat him for only the second time in 11 meetings. Murray is still without a title since winning Wimbledon last year.

Badminton duo seeded Commonwealth Games bronze medallists Robert Blair and Imogen Bankier are Scotland’s only seeds at the Li-Ning Badminton World Federation Championships, which start in Copenhagen next week.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ Many of us were scarred by the constant drone of the vuvuzela from the World Cup in South Africa four years ago.

But anyone who thought we’d seen the last of the dreaded instrument were proved wrong at Pittodrie last week as bus company Central Coaches decided to hand out more than 5,000 of the blighters to Aberdeen fans ahead of their second leg with Real Sociedad.

As one might expect, it drew a mixed response from media types.

“Those things should have been thrown on a bonfire after the World Cup in South Africa but maybe it was a cunning ploy,” wrote the Daily Record’s Michael Gannon. “When the pre-match bagpipers gave it laldy alongside the relentless din of the vuvuzelas the Basques looked as though they were going to beg to make it stop.”

However, prior to the game, the Evening Express’ Anthony Joseph questioned if Aberdeen had “scored an own goal” before even kicking a ball.

16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT Will tax case rumble on?

Celtic seek to seize second chance

Hoops hope to benefit from crazy Champions League hokey cokey ■ After yet another jawdropping and incredible week in Scottish football, Celtic find themselves preparing to fly the nation’s flag in Europe once more as they take on Slovenian side Maribor for a place in the lucrative Champions League group stages.

Hoops fans and manager Ronny Deila alike had probably been praying for a miracle when they went into their second leg against Legia Warsaw earlier this month trailing 4-1, but little did they know that it would arrive well after the final whistle.

Celtic had, in every sense of the word, gone out of the Champions League after the Poles defeated them 2-0 at Murrayfield to complete a 6-1 aggregate victory, but no-one bargained for what happened next as Legia were effectively jettisoned out of the competition for fielding a player who was supposed to be suspended.

What made things worse was the fact that the player in question, Bartosz Bereszynski, had only appeared as a late substitute when Legia had the tie well won.

Rules are rules though and, just hours before the play-off draw was made, UEFA ruled the second leg a forfeit – handing Celtic a 3-0 ‘walkover’ win which took them through on away goals.

The rights and the wrongs of the decision have been called into question from various sources, and Legia even appealed to Celtic’s “spirit of fair play” in an open letter to the Glasgow club. Pending the outcome of Legia’s appeal, Deila will hope his side can put their dismal showing of the previous round behind them.

COMMENTATORS SAY “The regression in Europe ■ Celtic may have found has been as spectacular themselves back into the as it has been steady,” he Champions League qualifying continued. picture, but the Daily Record’s Sunday Mail columnist Craig Swan said few people Gordon Waddell surmised would back the Hoops getting no-one was aware that when through to the group stages Legia made a “nothing sub in on the evidence of their last garbage time to waste a few “two shambolic displays in more seconds” it would prove Europe”. to be a “potentially defining He blamed “lack of moment” in Celtic’s season. investment” in the team and He described Legia’s said while one “could sit here “administrative incompetence” all day and point fingers”, as “truly a gift from the what matters now is “where football Gods” and the fact Celtic go from here”. that it has now happened He said the club’s scouting twice – previously against FC team had been “pulling Sion in 2011 – should be a rabbits out of hats” in recent “sign” to chief executive Peter seasons but said that had Lawwell that he needs to “dried up”, adding that the invest in the squad. scouting network now has “to “Their defeat to an average start finding those gems in the dust again”.

Polish side was a case of the the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

chickens finally coming home to roost on a gamble which may have paid off by the skin of its teeth in Kazakhstan last season but finally failed him,” Waddell argued, referring to the near-miss Celtic had over two legs against Shakhtar Karagandy last year.

The Scotsman’s Andrew Smith went further, stressing that is was “no exaggeration” to say that what unfolded against Legia Warsaw was a “new low in Celtic’s continental jousting”.

Smith questioned Deila’s ability to motivate his players, but admitted he deserves “time and support to recruit players that he does consider can lift the club” and help it “move on quickly from the Legia debacle”.

■ HM Revenue and Customs confirmed it will appeal against a tax ruling over Rangers’ use of employee benefit trusts.

In July, a tribunal dismissed an HMRC appeal against a decision on payments made to players and other employees. HMRC had argued the payments should be taxable, while the Murray Group – which owned Rangers – claimed payments were loans.

Meanwhile, Charles Green claimed he was close to raising up to £10m to invest in the Scottish Championship club – sparking criticism from fans. US billionaire George Soros is also involved.

Quick FIRE ■ Glasgow Warriors will play host to champions Leinster on the opening Saturday of the new rugby Pro12 season on September 6.

BBC Scotland

■ Former Scottish Hockey president Lee Cousins was awarded the prestigious GB Medal of Honour for his contribution to the sport.

The Herald

■ Matt Machan is expected to captain Scotland’s cricketers for the first time in all three of their 50-over matches against New Zealand A this month.

BBC Scotland

SPORT

good week

QUOTES

Alan Hutton

The Aston Villa right-back has suddenly found himself back in favour at Villa Park after two years of frustration.

The Scotland international, described as an Aston Villa “misfit” by The Scottish Sun, told the paper he has never fallen out with manager and fellow Scot Paul Lambert, even though he has spent periods on loan at Bolton, Nottingham Forest and Real Mallorca.

The paper said Hutton is now set to begin the season as Villa’s first choice right-back.

“Let’s settle this matter honourably.”

Dariusz mioduski Legia’s co-owner wrote to Celtic asking them to give up their Champions League spot

■ There was a tremendous show of support for the late Sandy Jardine

by Rangers fans as the former Govan Stand at Ibrox was renamed.

Chris Burke

The Scotland winger said he hopes to put six seasons of Championship frustration behind him after joining Nottingham Forest. He said: “I have signed a two-year deal.

I hope to be in the Premier League by the end of it.”

BAD week

Laura Muir

After a disappointing appearance at Glasgow 2014, Muir admitted her performance at the European Athletics Championships in Zurich was “pretty gutting” after failing to reach the 1,500m final.

The Scot was expected to be in the medal mix but, as The Guardian reported, she “seemed to get it tactically wrong and was several metres behind at the bell” in her heat and ended up finishing sixth in in a time of 4:14.69.

“I knew it was going to be tough but it should have been more straightforward for me than the other girls,” she said, holding back tears.

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Burns forced to put ring return on hold ■ Ricky Burns’ muchanticipated comeback has been put back to October at the earliest due to a shoulder injury, reported The Scotsman.

The Scot had hoped to re-establish himself at a high level when he took on Dejan Zlaticanin in a WBC world lightweight title eliminator at Braehead in June, but a surprise points defeat

apparently left his career in tatters. However, he later announced plans to return to the ring once more to compete at a different weight and promoters had lined up a big fight in Manchester on September 13.

Despite that, Burns’ manager Alex Morrison told The Scotsman that the fighter has now suffered a shoulder injury which has cast doubt on exactly when the Scot will return.

“Right now it is unclear just how serious the injury is but clearly it has put the September date out of the question and we’ve had to put things back to October,” he told the paper.

A new date of Saturday, October 4, has been provisionally pencilled in for Burns’ return, with a show planned at the First Direct Arena in Leeds.

“This is entirely a matter for UEFA and its processes.”

CELTIC A spokesman said Celtic wouldn’t change stance

“Imagine Jock Stein and Billy McNeill were deprived of their greatest triumph...by completing an application form wrong.”

Dariusz mioduski See top of page...

“Do not destroy the beautiful heritage that has been left in your care by previous generations.”

■ Just days after Fraser Forster conceded his last goal as Celtic keeper (above), the Englishman completed a £10m move to Southampton.

DARIUSZ MIODUSKI The Legia chief also tried the guilt trip tack 16 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT

OFF

Scottish football back in full swing ■ It may have only been gone a couple of months, but the summer hiatus probably felt like a lifetime for fans of Scottish football.

But the wait finally and mercifully ended at the weekend, with the country’s four senior leagues back up and running once more.

With champions Celtic not playing until Wednesday, it was up to the rest to kick things off in style in the Premiership and there was no shortage of talking points as, like many of the players

on show, the Scottish media shook off any ring rust and got back to covering the bread and butter of games on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon.

Celtic are the bookies’ and the pundits’ favourites for a fourth successive league title, so Dundee United’s 3-0 opening win at Aberdeen certainly turned a few heads in the race to be the so-called “best of the rest”.

However, Motherwell and St Johnstone both put their European disappointments behind them to record opening victories, with the former

beating St Mirren 1-0 and the latter taking three points from Ross County. New boys Dundee and Hamilton had mixed fortunes on their return to the top flight, with Accies losing 2-0 at home to Inverness and Paul Hartley’s Dundee drawing 1-1 with Kilmarnock.

That said though, if the opening day was anything to go by, the Premiership will have to compete for top billing with the Championship many times this season. Indeed, Hearts’ dramatic 2-1 win at Rangers dominated many of the Monday papers.

COMMENTATORS SAY ■ Suggesting European competition had “delivered its latest stark reminder of where the country is as a footballing nation”, The Guardian’s Ewan Murray looked ahead to this season by saying Scottish football had been “deep in decline long before Rangers’ demise” – adding that Celtic will win the Premiership title again with “the margin of their success the only matter for debate”. He went on to highlight the “sad indictment of Scotland’s leading clubs, never mind the game’s administrators” that there is yet again no league sponsor.

However, he noted the Championship would be a “worthy of regular attention” this season and, although it would be “disrespectful to label it the best league in the

THE BALL

■ BBC Radio Scotland’s resident pair Stuart Cosgrove and Tam Cowan were joined by guests music journalist Billy Sloan and Commonwealth Games gold medallist and part-time postie Charlie Flynn.

■ Among the topics discussed this week were Celtic, subs and sickeners, and the panel looked ahead to the big kick-off to the football league season.

■ Team of the week this week was the Fishing XI, featuring Rod Wallace, Reel Sociedad and Motherwell boss Stuart McCall – for his “red mullet” of course.

May moves on in August country”, the division could well be “the most intriguing”.

The Scotsman’s Andrew Smith said Celtic’s European results meant there will be a “genuine fascination surrounding the league performances” of the Hoops this term but admitted picking anyone but Ronny Deila’s team to win the league would be “plain silly when the economic differentials make it impossible for Celtic to avoid claiming a fourth straight title”.

Still, he mused, “whatever else Scotland’s top flight might have lacked in recent years, it has retained a wonderfully engaging capacity to surprise”.

BBC Scotland’s Richard Wilson said he felt “unpredictability remains the most elusive quality” in the

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Scottish Premiership in recent years, with the top flight set to “fall into a familiar pattern”.

Writing in the Daily Telegraph, Ewing Grahame said the “race to finish second may not quicken the pulse” and stressed the Championship could well be the better league. He said Hearts and Hibs’ relegation and Rangers’ promotion had created “a perfect storm... one which is likely to see the second tier attract more spectators than the top league for the first time ever”.

The Herald’s Hugh Macdonald summed it up perfectly: fans had been looking forward to fitba’s return with a “all that giddy glee that the Wehrmacht once reserved for the weather forecast in Stalingrad”.

■ Stevie May’s goal for St Johnstone in the 1-1 Europa League draw against Spartak Trnava proved to be his last for the club as he sealed an £800,000 switch to Sheffield Wednesday.

The Saints academy product, who has scored 67 goals in 118 career appearances so far, said he was delighted to be starting a new challenge, but admitted it was a wrench to leave the Perth club – who exited this season’s Europa League 3-2 on away goals.

Saints boss Tommy Wright brought in Yeovil forward Adam Morgan on loan ahead of their 2-1 opening day win at Ross County.

SPORT

good week

QUOTES

Tony McGlennan

“Sometimes it is a sideshow we can do without.”

The Glasgow-based solicitor was selected to replace former Scottish FA compliance officer Vincent Lunny at Hampden.

McGlennan will replace Lunny, who is leaving to train to become an advocate, after a handover period next month.

ALLY MCCOIST Rangers boss angry with off-field distractions

Tommy Wright

Despite losing his prize asset (see page 44), the St Johnstone boss put pen to paper on a new three-year deal at McDiarmid Park.

■ Hearts head coach Robbie Neilson (left) celebrates with match winner Osman Sow at full-time as the Edinburgh side defeated Rangers 2-1 at Ibrox. Next up is the capital derby with Hibs this weekend.

Barry Ferguson

HEADLINES

The new Clyde boss tasted victory in his first league game in charge, beating Queen’s Park 2-1. The ex-Rangers midfielder admitted it was strange to hear the crowd’s comments on the sidelines, having been used to noisier atmospheres. “They’re gonna end up ageing me,” he told The Herald.

FOOTBALL: Dundee United chairman Stephen Thompson told BBC Radio Scotland’s Jim Spence that “no-one is for sale” after the departures of Ryan Gauld and Andy Robertson this summer.

Criticism means ‘nada’, says Rovers’ Nade

BAD week Jim Goodwin

Not for the first time, headline writers weighed up whether to use ‘Saint Turned Sinner’ as Goodwin was sent off in St Mirren’s 1-0 loss at Motherwell. His opening day dismissal prompted many column writers to highlight his disciplinary record, such as The Scottish Sun’s Kenny Clark. “When he goes and gets sent off... he lets everyone down,” he said.

l 45

■ Raith Rovers striker Christian Nade shrugged off criticism by Eilidh Child as he opened his competitive Stark’s Park account.

The Scottish Sun’s Rodger Baillie told how the Glasgow 2014 silver medallist and Hearts fan said Nade had been the “worst player” she had seen in a Jambos jersey.

But Nade, who scored in the 3-1 opening win over Dumbarton, said: “If I wasn’t good enough I want to see what she thinks of the next worst player.”

Swimming: Scotland’s Andrew Mullen won three golds and a silver at the Paralympic European Championship in Eindhoven.

SNOOKER: Anthony McGill narrowly missed out on a place in the Riga Open final.

World champion Mark Selby was lying in wait, but McGill lost a final frame shoot-out to Mark Allen in his semi-final.

SHINTY: Kingussie reached their first Camanachd Cup final since 2006 after beating Fort William 3-2 on sudden death penalties. They will play the winners of this weekend’s Glen Urquhart v Skye semi-final on September 13.

“I’d love to see all the fans unite and hate me – at least then they’d be united.”

CHARLES GREEN The former Rangers chief faced a backlash from supporters as he tried to raise £10m to invest in the club

“I never expected to be joint top scorer with the keeper.”

FARID EL ALAGUI Hibs’ striker had to share the limelight with keeper Mark Oxley after his incredible goal

“It’s only natural for your instant reaction to be like you felt you let people down.”

MICHAEL JAMIESON The poster boy of Glasgow 2014 fronted up after his surprise 200m Games defeat

Ross McCormack

The Scotland international was substituted after just 57 minutes of his Fulham debut, with boss Felix Magath labelling him “unfit”.

■ Livingston’s Darren Jamieson (right) watches the ball bounce into the back of his net after a goal kick from Hibernian keeper Mark Oxley.

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46 l

COMMENT

FRED SAID Comedian, broadcaster and presenter

FRED MACAULAY

Bertha might have had her fun but wait for Hurricane Fred...

The spirit moves Fred to think about old friends and water under the bridge

■ How different the twelfths of July and August are! I don’t participate in either and probably shouldn’t look for humour in somewhat sensitive matters. Well, not here in print, other than to say they both seem to involve a fair bit of walking.

I’ve only ever tasted grouse a couple of times, and as a non-whisky drinker (although genetically programmed to start at some point soon) I’m not a huge customer of the Famous one either. But the distiller should still be in profit from my father’s purchases over the years.

He loved a dram the old man.

We once visited a Speyside distillery with my father’s Canadian cousin who was equally fond of whisky. I can still remember the fondness with which they looked into each other’s eyes as they raised a glass to toast each other’s health with their prized dram after the distillery tour. “And

Clarifications and corrections The Stooshie is committed to journalism of the highest standards and we aim to produce our magazine with accuracy, honesty and fairness. Our journalists adhere to the DC Thomson company values of integrity, respect, commitment and creativity. We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice which is enforced by the Press Complaints Commission. It is our policy to publish clarifications and corrections when necessary and as quickly as possible. You can contact us by email at: editor@thestooshie.co.uk or by writing to: The Readers’ Editor, The Stooshie, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee DD4 8SL.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

they give us this for FREE Jack!” said my old man. I’m sure if we totted up the petrol, accommodation and food for the trip it might have been cheaper to just nip round to the local back home.

We stayed in a cottage in Carrbridge that summer trip, the two families, and when they left to return to Canada, my uncle penned a wee rhyme about the lovely old ruin of a bridge there.

The memories I’ve just recalled all came back to me when I saw the photos of the river in full spate battering the old bridge in Carrbridge after Hurricane Bertha passed through last Sunday. Nice try Bertha, but the bridge is still standing.

Hurricanes are pre-named. In 2015, if there are six Atlantic hurricanes the sixth will be called Fred. Hurricane Fred.

I’ve been called that once myself when I had a break of eight at snooker.

In memory of Robin Williams ■ It was only a few weeks ago that we mourned the death of Rik Mayall and now we say goodbye to the comedy legend Robin Williams.

Sadly I never met the man. Came close a couple of times as he often popped into comedy clubs in London in the days when I worked on the London stand up circuit.

When I moved to Aviemore in 1980 the guy who owned the house I lodged in had a pretty decent record player. I’d never owned one, so had no record collection. But over the next year and a half I bought a few. They were all comedy albums and included Reality...

What a Concept by Robin.

I listened to it countless times in those days, but with his more recent comedy work available on the web, it’s been a long time since I listened to the album.

Somewhere within the BBC there must be a record player, my own one long consigned to the coup.

Once the Fringe madness is over, I’ll treat myself to one more listen to the great man’s early work. In the meantime, I’ll watch his description of a Scot explaining golf online. It is the work of a genius.

Information about the Code of Practice can be obtained from The Press Complaints Commission at Halton House, 20/23 High Holborn, London EC1N 2JD or email complaints@pcc.org.uk or call 0845 6002757 or 0207 8310022.

Published in Great Britain by D.C. Thomson & Co. Ltd, 185 Fleet Street, London, EC4A 2HS. © D. C. Thomson & Co., Ltd, 2014. Distributed by Marketforce, Blue Fin Building, 110 Southwark Street, London, SE1 0SU. Tel: +44(0) 20 3148 3300 Fax: +44(0) 20 3148 8105 Website: www. marketforce.co.uk

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