‘E…‘E’S STILL COMIN’ AFTER ME!
P
RIVATE JELLY JAKES OF THE CONVICT COMMANDOS — A GROUP OF MILITARY PRISONERS RELEASED FROM CUSTODY TO USE THEIR SPECIAL SKILLS IN SPECIAL OPERATIONS — HAD A LONG TRACK RECORD OF GETTING INTO LIFE-THREATENING SCRAPES. BUT THIS TIME IT SEEMED THE FRIGHTENED LITTLE SAFE-BREAKER AND EXPLOSIVES EXPERT HAD OUTDONE HIMSELF.
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BULLETS RICOCHETED OFF METAL SUPPORTS SURROUNDING THE SEEMINGLY ENDLESS SPIRAL STAIRCASE HE WAS CLIMBING, SPURRING HIM ON TO AN EVEN GREATER HERCULEAN EFFORT. OH MUVVER, ‘OW’D I END UP ‘ERE?
SUDDENLY THERE WERE NO MORE STEPS.
MOMENTS LATER A LARGE, POWERFUL FIGURE ALSO REACHED THE TOP. JELLY QUAILED IN MORTAL FEAR AS HE TRIED TO RAISE HIS GUN.
I…I GOTTA SHOOT ‘IM.
I…I’VE REACHED THE TOP! WOT NOW?
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BEFORE THE QUAKING LITTLE SOLDIER COULD RAISE THE GUN IT WAS BATTED OUT OF HIS GRASP WITH CONTEMPTUOUS EASE.
IN ALMOST THE SAME MOVEMENT, HE WAS LIFTED ABOVE THE LEVEL OF A METAL PARAPET WITH THE SAME EASE.
NO!
UURH!
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SADLY FOR JELLY THE PARAPET SURROUNDED THE PLATFORM AT THE TOP OF THE EIFFEL TOWER IN PARIS, A BREATHTAKING NINE HUNDRED FEET ABOVE THE GROUND. AS THE HANDS THAT HAD SWEPT HIM UP NOW RELEASED HIM, SURELY IT WOULD BE THE LITTLE MAN’S FINAL JOURNEY.
AAAAEEEIIII!
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A FEW DAYS EARLIER, IN AUGUST 1944, MAJOR GUY TENBY, THEIR COMMANDER, SHOWED HIS CONVICT COMMANDOS AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF A TOPSECRET GERMAN SIGNAL INTERCEPTED THE PREVIOUS DAY.
SOUNDS LIKE BAD NEWS FOR PARIS.
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TO:G VON ENERAL CHOL TITZ
PARI NOT S IS FAL TO HAN L IN OF E DS EXCE NEMY A HE PT AS RUIN AP OF S+ ADO LF HITL ER
MAYBE, BUT THEN AGAIN MAYBE NOT.
GUY EXPLAINED THAT VON CHOLTITZ, THE GERMAN COMMANDANT OF THE OCCUPIED FRENCH CAPITAL, WAS A CULTURED MAN WITH LITTLE LOVE FOR HIS FUHRER.
HE DOESN’T WANT TO GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE MAN WHO DESTROYED PARIS. HE’LL GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS AND MAKE ALL THE EXPECTED PREPARATIONS, BUT IN THE END HE’LL BE HAPPY TO HAND OVER AN INTACT CITY.
SO WHAT’S THE PROBLEM? THERE’S ALWAYS A PROBLEM WHEN YOU TELL US SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
THE MAN WHO SPOKE, CORPORAL “SMILER” DAWSON — THE UNIT’S KNIFE EXPERT — KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT FROM GUY BY NOW.
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GUY TOSSED DOWN AN ENLARGED MUGSHOT OF A HARD-LOOKING S.S. STANDARTENFUHRER. COLONEL HEINRICH KESSLER, S.S. ENGINEER AND DEMOLITION EXPERT. HE’S LAID WASTE TO A DOZEN TOWNS AND CITIES DURING GERMAN RETREATS IN THE EAST. HE WAS TRANSFERRED TO PARIS LAST WEEK.
SO THEY DON’T TRUST THIS VON CHOLT, OR WHATEVER ‘IS NAME IS, TO CARRY OUT ‘IS MASTER’S ORDERS?
THE SITUATION WAS EXACTLY THAT AND IT WAS A CAUSE OF GRAVE CONCERN TO ALLIED HIGH COMMAND. THE LAST THING THEY WANTED WAS ONE OF THEIR CAPITALS RAZED TO THE GROUND.
TIME’S RUNNING OUT. FREE FRENCH AND AMERICAN FORCES ARE READY TO DRIVE INTO PARIS. YOU CAN BE SURE THAT WHATEVER VON CHOLTITZ DOES, KESSLER WILL FOLLOW ORDERS. WE’VE GOT TO GO IN AND STOP HIM BEFORE THAT HAPPENS.
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FOR ONCE JELLY WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO A MISSION. HE WAS ALL SMILES AS HE SPOKE TO THE CONVICT COMMANDOS’ MAN MOUNTAIN, PRIVATE TITCH MOONEY, AFTER THE BRIEFING.
I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE PARIS.
AN HOUR LATER, THEY WERE RACING DOWN ONE OF THE MAIN ROADS TO PARIS ON THREE MATCHLESS G3/L MOTORCYCLES.
JUST DON’T FORGET THE OLD SAYING, SEE PARIS…AND DIE!
WHY THESE INSTEAD OF A JEEP? NOT THAT I’M COMPLAINING, MIND.
THE SITUATION IN PARIS IS VERY CONFUSED. WE MIGHT HAVE TO USE NARROW ALLEYS TO GET THROUGH. THESE CAN GO WHERE A JEEP COULDN’T.
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THEY KNEW FROM INTELLIGENCE REPORTS THAT THE GERMANS HAD THROWN UP MAKESHIFT DEFENCES ON THE APPROACHES TO THE CITY. MOMENTS LATER THEY ENCOUNTERED ONE OF THEM. JERRIES!
THIS WAY!
WITHOUT HESITATION, GUY DROVE STRAIGHT INTO A RAILWAY CUTTING WHICH RAN ALONGSIDE THE ROAD. HIS BIKE WAS CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY THE OTHER TWO. HIMMEL!
OH MY SAINTED AUNT!
HOLD TIGHT, JELLY!