Stooshie Issue 12 Published Aug 9 2014 by D C Thomson & Co Ltd

august 9 issue no.12 ❘ £2.50

W NE NE ZI GA MA

the

Sing when you’re winning

Stooshie Scotland 2014: the best Games ever?

T h e b e st of S c ott i s h m e d i a – n e w s

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opinion

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d e bat e

Remembering the fallen

Fighting talk

Commemorating World War one

Kid gloves come off in referendum battle

On the cutting edge

Scotland in days

£2.50

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09-Aug-14

Recall: R33 – 15-Aug-14

What’s hot at this year’s Fringe

Scotland on screen

Flower power

Can Outlander live up to the hype?

Is it time to drop Flower of Scotland? www.thestooshie.co.uk

the

First blood to Darling in TV debate

MacAskill comes under fire over armed police

Header “best thing Games since Krankies sex scandal”

Chinese whispers to blame for dour Scots stereotype

Stooshie Editor’s Round-up: That was the week that was

Welcome to The Stooshie, that magazine that brings you all the Scottish news that really matters from the past seven days. We’ve read every newspaper for the best stories and most incisive comment, trawled through the internet to find the most interesting blogs and tuned into the best the TV and radio has to offer over the past week. And what a week it’s been. Glasgow said goodbye to the Commonwealth Games. Not only was it Scotland’s most successful ever even in terms of medals, the Games were also praised as the best ever in terms of atmosphere and sporting achievement. But the 11-day respite the Games offered from the independence referendum was never going to last and the kid gloves came off in the debate this week when First Minister Alex Salmond went head-to-head in a live televised debate with Better Together leader Alistair Darling. We have all the reaction to that contest and also look at the commemorations for the centenary of the outbreak of the First World War, check out the best of the Fringe and our Stooshie of the Week asks if it’s time Scotland finds a new national anthem to replace Flower of Scotland. Read, digest and enjoy!

SCOTTISH WORD OF THE WEEK

chiel noun ❘ `chel ❘

All the best from the Edinburgh Festival

Tough times for Scots drinks giant

Contact the Stooshie Mail:

The Stooshie, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee DD4 8SL

Email:

editor@thestooshie.co.uk

Visit:

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1. A young man, lad. 2. Scottish variant of child. Usage: “Jamie Fraser, a sword-wielding chiel whose sporran is trifled with lightly by no man” (see page nine)

We really like

■ You know it’s Fringe time in Edinburgh when you start seeing the contents of The Stooshie’s recycling bin walking down the street.

Editor-in-chief: Richard Neville Editor: Steve Bargeton Deputy editor: Catriona MacInnes Art director: Aileen Wilkie Content manager: Rory Weller Editorial: Craig Smith, Stefan Morkis, Alastair Bennett Contributors: Brian Donaldson, Robert McNeil, Jonathan Trew, James Williamson, Graham Huband

Advertising & Commercial Opportunities: Bryn Piper: 0207 400 1050, bpiper@dcthomson.co.uk Circulation: Iain McKenzie: imckenzie@dcthomson.co.uk Subscription Sales & Customer Service: 0844 826 5009, thestooshie@dcthomson.co.uk 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

4 l news

MAIN EVENTS

Stunning finale as Games hailed “best ever” Lulu, Deacon Blue and Kylie Minogue bring curtain down on Glasgow 2014 ■ The Commonwealth Games in Glasgow ended with a Boom Bang A Bang at the closing ceremony in Hampden Park. Lulu, Deacon Blue, synthpop trio Prides, Dougie MacLean and Kylie Minogue all performed at the spectacular event. The 11 days of competition saw Scotland take home 53 medals, smashing its previous record of 33 set in Edinburgh in 1986. Those medals included 19 golds and Scotland finished the competition fourth on the

medal table, which was topped by England, followed by Australia. The Games also raised more than £5 million for UNICEF. Prince Imran of Malaysia, president of the Commonwealth Games Federation told the Glasgow crowd the Games had been “pure dead brilliant” and “the best ever” before Prince Edward formally announced the Games closed. They will next be staged in Australia’s Gold Coast in April 2018.

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

Scottish newspapers nearly ran out of superlatives to describe the success of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow. No medal “glistens more brightly than that earned by Glasgow for its superb hosting,” said The Scotsman. The event “provided inspiration and motivation by the bucketload” and its legacy may mean Glasgow 2014 was “just the beginning,” it said. The Herald was almost as effusive. Its leader column noted that while the opening ceremony had not pleased everyone and there were issues with transport, it said “it is likely that most people will have happy memories of the Games”. More importantly, it said they may help regenerate some of the most deprived areas of Glasgow. The Scottish Sun said there will be a “Commonwealth Games-sized hole in our lives” but said it is vital “that bright flame of hope” is kept alive. The Daily Record asked its readers to “remember 11 glorious days of camaraderie in Glasgow” and said “Glasgow 2014 will burn bright in the memory for years to come”. Organisers of the Games, and Scotland itself, “delivered in spectacular fashion” according to The Courier. The Press and Journal said organisers will be able to look back on what was a “resounding triumph”.

After the party, the hangover. While most columnists agreed many Scots had seen the Commonwealth Games as a welcome break from the referendum debate, they could not resist philosophising about what impact its success will have on next month’s vote, if at all. The Scottish Sun’s political editor Andrew Nicoll’s verdict was clear. “It’s been a well-organised, international Sunday school picnic of sack races and egg and spoon and it made Scotland look great – but it will not decide the fate of nations,” he said. His colleague Bill Leckie also said the Games were not a “referendum issue”. Leckie continued: “They were our audition for a new, improved place in the global community, no matter what our status come September 19.” Over at The Scotsman, Lesley Riddoch bemoaned that football will once again be taking over the back pages now the Games are over. She said the new season means a return to “a boring, repetitive world with outdated values, diminishing live gates but still the lion’s share of broadcasting cash and general kudos”. The Daily Telegraph’s Alan Cochrane, one of the Scottish Government’s biggest critics, said he has “no hesitation” in praising it for overseeing such a successful competition.

Scotland commemorates centenary of First World War David Cameron and Alex Salmond attend Glasgow service ■ Commemorative events were staged across Scotland to mark the centenary of the outbreak of World War One. A service at Glasgow Cathedral was attended by Prince Charles, UK Prime Minister David Cameron (left), First Minister Alex Salmond and Commonwealth heads of government, as well as UK the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

and Irish politicians. The service focused on the contribution of Commonwealth nations. Mr Salmond said: “No home, no school, no community in Scotland was left untouched by the devastating impact of the Great War, one of the most brutal conflicts the world has ever seen.”

EDITORIALS SAY The joy the Commonwealth Games brought to Scotland is a “stark contrast” to the “dark sense of foreboding” that hung over the country a century ago, said The Courier. The paper said its readers “must remember sacrifices made during that bleak time” and that only by learning “lessons from the past can we truly hope to build a better, more peaceful future”. “It is still hard for us to comprehend the sheer scale of the loss of life during the Great

MAIN EVENTS

First blood to Darling in brutal TV debate Better Together leader wins plaudits as Alex Salmond stumbles on currency ■ First Minister Alex Salmond and Better Together leader Alistair Darling clashed in the first televised debate on Scottish independence. In an often bruising encounter, the former Chancellor was regarded as winning the battle on points, thanks largely to his questions on currency. Mr Salmond refused five times to say what currency Scotland would use if there is no monetary union with the rest of the UK, eventually drawing boos from the audience. Mr Salmond went on the offensive by attacking Better Together for its “Project Fear” tactics of highlighting the risks of independence. Inevitably, both Better Together and Yes Scotland claimed their man won the debate, which took place at The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland in Glasgow and was hosted by STV political editor Bernard Ponsonby. A snap ICM poll after the debate showed 56% of people thought Mr Darling won the contest.

War,” said The Press and Journal, “but we can ensure their sacrifice is never forgotten”. The Scottish Daily Mail said “the nation’s understanding of the awesome sacrifices” made during the First World War remains “undiminished”. But it said world leaders must “learn from the errors of the past” given the “terrifying speed” with which events are moving in places such as Libya, Ukraine, Iraq and Gaza. The Scottish Sun said although no Britain’s veterans remain “the impact of commemorations was no less immediate for that”.

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

Who actually won the debate is not particularly important, said The Scotsman. It said what really mattered was “whether the Scottish public is significantly better off in terms of information” . But it said it was “surprising” how few issues were discussed and decided “we are really no further forward in terms of answers”. The Scottish Sun said both men “came out slugging” but that “when the final bell rang both men were still standing” and it was “impossible to pick a winner”. But the Daily Record had no qualms about calling the bout for Alistair Darling because of Mr Salmond’s inability to answer questions on currency. “Why is the leader of the SNP, who have fought for independence for eight decades, asking questions about flying saucers when he should have currency answers at his fingertips, right down to the penny?” it asked.

The morning after the night before will have brought little relief to Mr Salmond, with most columnists handing victory to his Better Together opponent. “Rarely has Mr Salmond been beaten up so badly live on television,” was Alex Massie’s cutting verdict in The Times while, in the same paper, Magnus Linklater was surprised at what he described as an “angry” performance by Mr Darling. “Even his new spectacles, with their fierce brown rims, seemed to be bristling with anger,” he said. The Courier’s political editor Kieran Andrews said “Mr Darling will definitely be more satisfied” after the debate but acknowledged it will have done little to change anyone’s mind about how to vote. The Daily Telegraph’s Alan Cochrane said it exposed the “incredible vacuum” at the heart of the SNP’s economic policy.

COMMENTATORS SAY

British soldiers executed for “cowardice and desertion” during the conflict. The Courier’s Edward Treffry also said it is an urban myth that there had been an overwhelming jingoistic rush to war. He said many were “united in what they wanted for humanity, but loathed the means to secure it”. For Treffry, the courage to make that terrible decision t is both “noble” and “worth honouring”. In The Scottish Sun, Dan Snow said the war had been “the violent birth of a modern nation”.

Marking the centenary of the outbreak of the First World War is not the same as celebrating it, said David Torrance in The Herald. He took issue with SNP MSP Joan McAlpine who, in the Daily Record last year, had said “the outburst of hysterical patriotism in 1914” had “represented the worst of British – arrogance, self-delusion and a desire to dominate the world stage”. In the same paper, Rosemary Goring said it is time to issue official pardons for the 306

news l 5 on the bright side ■ A flight full of holidaymakers travelling from Tunisia to Edinburgh had to be diverted via London after a drunk passenger attacked cabin crew with her prosthetic leg. STV reported how the woman in her 60s demanded “cigarettes and a parachute” before crew asked her to quieten down. She then slapped a young girl sat next to her before unfastening her leg and swinging it at staff. The plane touched down at Gatwick and the woman was escorted off by police. The Scotsman said passengers amused themselves by singing the hokey cokey. ■ Staff at a Co-op store in Caerphilly were left red-faced when newly-installed signs featured Scottish Gaelic words instead of Welsh ones. Language tutor Jonathan Ford told the BBC the mistake “made him laugh” but thought some Welsh speakers would not be amused. ■ Scottish T-shirt designers Hairy Haggis moved quickly to capitalise on the furore over Usain Bolt’s alleged remarks about the Commonwealth Games. The world’s fastest man denied saying the Games were “a bit s**t”, but the firm created a T-shirt with Bolt’s image and the slogan #BoltYaRocket. ■ Twins Kyle and Sean Dillon, pupils at Waid Academy in Fife, received identical results in the same subjects in their National 5 exams. Results for the Standard Grade replacement exams came out this week. ■ Mechanics in Fife got more than they bargained for as they tried to jumpstart a Fiat Punto when they found a 2ft corn snake (pictured below) hiding under the bonnet.

9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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POLITICS

MacAskill in firing line as armed police row rumbles on Justice Secretary tells Scottish Parliament routine arming of officers is an “operational matter” for Police Scotland

indy BRIEFS 1. Defence contractor Babcock has warned its Clyde workforce that a vote for independence may make job losses inevitable. Labour MSP Jackie Baillie said up to 11,000 jobs could be at risk. 2. Shadow Scottish Secretary Margaret Curran said women are not convinced by the SNP or their childcare plans, which she said are “viewed as a chat-up line rather than a serious commitment”.

■ Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill said routinely arming police officers is an operational matter for Police Scotland Chief Constable Sir Stephen House. However, he told the Scottish Parliament that a cap on the number of police carrying guns on the street will be introduced. Mr MacAskill (below with Sir Stephen) said no more than 346 officers on duty at any one time, two per cent of the total, will be armed. If this number is exceeded, then Sir Stephen would have to notify both Mr MacAskill and the Scottish Police Authority. He also claimed the public backs allowing police officers to routinely carry Glock pistols. There has been growing controversy over the issue. Labour MSP Graeme Pearson, a former policeman, said he was shocked by Mr MacAskill’s “indifferent attitude” to what is a fundamental shift in policing in Scotland. He also said carrying firearms increases the risk to the public and police.

COMMENTATORS SAY Currently, only 1.6% of officers on patrol at any one time carry guns so The Scotsman was not impressed with plans to introduce a cap of two per cent. “Not only did Mr MacAskill therefore give the green light for a 25% increase in the number of armed police officers on Scottish streets, he failed to address the real reason a ministerial statement had been called for,” it said, citing concerns over Police Scotland’s lack of accountability. The Scottish Daily Mail said the Justice Secretary “hid behind the argument that ‘operational decisions’ are for Police Scotland’s all-powerful chief constable”. And it said “asking for written explanations” when the number of armed police rises above two per cent is “the equivalent of handing out lines to a cocky pupil rather

than hauling him in front of the headmaster”. It concluded Mr MacAskill had “buried his head in the sand” and refused to address public concerns. The Herald was marginally more sympathetic to Mr MacAskill, pointing out that proportionately there are fewer armed police in Scotland than in England, but said the cap on numbers of armed police is irrelevant “when the problem with armed officers is perception”. And it said there are other issues to consider, such as “to what extent Police Scotland is willing to acknowledge that policing should not necessarily be applied in the same way across the whole country, which is what is happening with armed officers”. The paper also said this issue of arming police “inevitably raises questions” about “accountability and oversight of the police”. It concluded that while Mr MacAskill considers the deployment of armed police to be an operational matter, that should not necessarily be the case. “These are questions for the police sub-committee at Holyrood to look at as a matter of urgency,” it concluded.

3. Tommy Sheridan’s conviction for perjury is to be reviewed by the Scottish Criminal Cases Review Commission. Sheridan was jailed for three years for perjury but claims he was the victim of a “criminal conspiracy”. 4. The leaders of all three main UK unionist parties have signed a formal declaration to devolve more powers over tax and social security to Scotland if the country rejects independence when it goes to the polls next month. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

“I think confidence not only in Glasgow but across the country is high.”

“Parents in some of the poorest households have now been left worrying whether their two-yearold will actually get the childcare promised to them.”

Nicola Sturgeon,

Liz Smith,

Deputy First Minister

Conservative MSP

POLITICS Yes or No, it’s a sticky situation

Clegg slams “gauche” Sturgeon in Games row ■ Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg described his Scottish Government counterpart Nicola Sturgeon as “gauche” for using the end of the Commonwealth Games to say momentum is with the Yes campaign. Ms Sturgeon made the comment in an interview with The Observer. It prompted Mr Clegg (above) to accuse her of trying to politicise the Games. He said they should not be “distorted or sullied by the politics of the SNP” during a visit to Edinburgh at the conclusion of the Games. Mr Clegg, who recently called for Russia to be stripped of the 2018 World Cup over its actions in Ukraine, said sport can have a “galvanising effect on big political issues of the day” but that on the whole “it is much better if politics and sport stay separate”. A spokesman for Mr Sturgeon said: “Nick Clegg wouldn’t get any medals for selfawareness, but maybe a gold for hypocrisy. “For the Deputy Prime Minister to try and make political capital by twisting her comments shows just how worried the No campaign is by the opinion polls,” he added.

■ Campaigners on both sides of the referendum debate have been criticised for putting stickers on road signs. Moray Council said cleanup crews are spending entire days removing the Yes and No stickers from road signs. And they say costs will escalate even further as the stickers damage the signs. When they are removed the adhesive also takes away some of the protective plastic coating on the signs, leaving

them vulnerable to the elements. This means entire signs may need to be replaced. Each one costs a minimum of £350. Meanwhile, some campaigners are finding new ways to proclaim their political allegiances. Karen Brownleee from Dundee has created a massive Yes sign which she has put up in the garden of her house in Longhaugh. She said: “It’s basically about attracting as many people’s attention as possible and I like that it has the date to remind people”.

RBS voice indy concerns

No ahead in poll of polls

■ The Royal Bank of Scotland has said Scottish independence could have a “material adverse effect” on its business. The Edinburgh-based bank, 80% owned by the taxpayer, said a Yes vote in the referendum could cause uncertainty and negatively affect credit ratings. RBS said independence could also affect the fiscal and monetary backdrop under which the bank operates. The Scottish Government said independence would boost the economy.

■ Scotland appears set to reject independence in next month’s referendum, according to new research. A “poll of polls” for The Independent said 57% of Scots are likely to vote No with 43% backing a Yes vote. The poll based on the last six opinion polls and excluded all “don’t knows” from the results, calculated by Professor John Curtice of Strathclyde University. Professor Curtice said the vote may still go either way, despite recent polls favouring No.

“I think we are winning both the head and the heart. I think that argument is being won.”

“Scots will never vote against their own best financial interests. I don’t think that’s who we are. You can’t ask people to be irrational.”

“A decision to leave the UK is forever and cannot be reversed. We need to make sure we get it right.”

Ed Miliband,

Margaret Curran,

Alistair Carmichael,

Labour leader

Shadow Scottish Secretary

Scottish Secretary

news l 7

indy BRIEFS 1. Pro-union campaigners have been accused of “scaremongering” about the impact of independence on Scotland’s financial sector. Former RBS chief executive George Mathewson said the sector has been “neglected” by Westminster. 2. Finance Secretary John Swinney claimed Scottish firms will be able to enjoy a greater international presence after independence. 3. A survey by KPMG found 84% of responding firms have not made any preparations for what will happen if there is a Yes vote. Yes Scotland said it showed companies are “relaxed” about independence. 4. Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon has said the worst moment of the campaign was her debate with Johann Lamont on STV’s Scotland Tonight. Critics said it was more a “stairheid rammy” than a debate. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SEVEN BY SEVEN

Game of Clones – is Outlander Scotland’s answer to hit TV series?

SEVEN QUESTIONS YOU REALLY WANT TO ASK 1. Are we talking about a straight copy here? No, our headline is terribly unfair. We should have rejected it along with Game of Scones. Outlander is a long-standing series of books written by American author Diana Gabaldon who, according to The Daily Telegraph, scripted Scrooge McDuck comics before becoming a novelist. Set in the 18th century Highlands, Outlander features an English military nurse from 1945 who goes back in time and gets caught up in all manner of Jacobite jiggery-pokery. The first book of the series was written in 1991, long before Game of Thrones was a spear in somebody’s eye.

2. Ouch. But, hey, haven’t I heard the name Outlander before? There’s also a 2009 movie with the same handle. Based on a true story, it’s about a man from ooter space who uses Viking technology to fight an alien monster called the Moorwen. Mitsubishi also launched their sport utility vehicle of the same name this year. Not that it’s any of your business but the cockpit has “lots of exposed plastic” (Extreme Tech review).

3. So they’ve made a TV series of the books. Where can I see that?

THE SERIES IN NUMBERS

Years spent persuading rights holder Jim Colbert to agree TV series rather than movie

Weeks spent filming the show

200

Number of film crew based in Scotland for the show

25m

Diana Gabaldon books have been sold worldwide

Just get on a plane to America and you’ll be fine. As The Press and Journal reported, the series starts on the US TV network Starz this month. Eagerly anticipated for some time in the States, it had a red carpet premiere in California. It’ll be shown on Australian television later this year and, unless it really bombs, is bound to show up on these shores sooner or later.

Books in the Outlander series

4. Why should I be excited about this?

Parts make up the TV series

You don’t have to be. It’s tourist bosses who are performing Highland reels like hippos on hot coals. VisitScotland believes fans of the show will want to come here by the planeload.

£50m

Budget for the initial series

The tourist organisation’s chairman Mike Cantlay praised the series’ focus on stunning scenery and said: “The television series is potentially huge for Scotland and could well be our answer to Game of Thrones.”

5. Well, tourism bosses would say that. Any evidence so far? Well, it’s a bit early to say, but Addie Morfoot of Variety magazine said that, judging by the audience at the premiere, Outlander is “off to a glowing start”. And Meredith Woerner on US website io9 gushed: “If you don’t think, ‘Wow we all need to immediately head to Scotland, right now,’ after watching the pilot of Outlander, then your eyes are broken.” Of the music by Bear McCreary (who also did yon Battlestar Galactica) she said: “Just listening to it makes my old weary bones ache for the foggy forests of Scotland and I’ve never even been there.”

6. Foggy forests, eh? Where are they? Filming took place in a Cumbernauld warehouse. Well, some of it did. But outdoor locations that were used as filming locations, as The Scotsman reported, included Doune Castle in Perthshire, the villages of Falkland and Culross in Fife, and Loch Rannoch in your actual Highlands.

7. Who stars in the show? Well, Scotland principally, according to the tourism hand-rubbers. Beyond the bracken, Irish actress Caitriona Balfe plays time-skooshing nurse Claire Randall, and Dumfriesshire’s own Sam Heughan plays Jamie Fraser, a sword-wielding chiel whose sporran is trifled with lightly by no man. Sir Sean Connery and Liam Neeson were both reportedly considered for the role but rejected for being too old to faff about in foggy forests. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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AROUND SCOTLAND

1 HIGHLANDS & ISLANDS Robot finds life in sea

Lottery cash to tackle eroded paths in national parks

Scientists who sent a remotely operated vehicle to film one of the UK’s three undersea mountains filmed more than 100 species on its slopes. The Hebrides Terrace Seamount is higher than Ben Nevis, but its peak is 1,000 metres beneath the surface.

More than 120 kilometres of paths across Scotland’s national parks are set to be upgraded thanks to a grant of more than £3 million from the Heritage Lottery Fund. The People and the Mountains project will restore 41 paths in the Cairngorms and Trossaachs which have been eroded by rainfall and heavy use. Both national park authorities are part of The People and Mountains project, alongside groups including the Cairngorms Outdoor Access Trust.

2 GLASGOW & WEST Hunt for missing patients

Ex-Ger wins eviction battle

Nearly 500 patients of a Paisley dentist who was struck off because he lied about his HIV status have still to be traced. Harry Robertson, who worked at the Kelburne Dental Surgery in Paisley was kicked off the dental register for “dishonest conduct”. Ten thousand of his patients, both NHS and private, were given blood tests after being told there was a slight risk of infection. However, around 500 of Robertson’s patients have still to be traced. NHS Greater Glasgow said so far none of the patients screened have been infected with HIV.

Former Rangers striker Shota Arveladze won a court battle to evict a couple from his Newton Mearns home after they ran up £42,000 of rent arrears. David and Catriona MacFarlane moved into the five-bedroom home just weeks after running up arrears of £500,000 in another luxury property. Arveladze’s lawyer Jim Bauld, a tenancy expert with 20 years’ experience, said he had many other clients who had been left thousands out of pocket by tenants who rack up huge debts by exploiting the lengthy legal process it takes to evict them. It took Arveladze three years to evict the MacFarlanes.

Cumbernauld under siege Cumbernauld residents have started a petition urging the council to tackle the town’s growing seagull problem. North Lanarkshire Council said there is little it can do and that a previous bid to remove nests, at a cost of £4,500, had done nothing to improve the problem. It added a cull would be too expensive.

2 3

3 SOUTH SCOTLAND Fencers’ deadly game of catch Two fencers from the Borders played rugby with a lump of scrap metal – unaware their “ball” was actually an unexploded bomb. Craig Livingstone and Chris Halliday were working on a remote hillside above Westruther when they discovered the World War II mortar shell. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

However, neither man knew what the rusting object was nor suspected it may be dangerous. They then used it at an impromptu ball in a passing game of rugby on their way back to the work’s van. The alarm was only raised when a colleague’s father noticed the device in the van that night.

Tourists attracted by parks and recreation A multi-million pound investment in the Galloway Forest Park’s new visitor centres has been described as a “great boost for the local economy” by Scottish Government environment minister Paul Wheelhouse (right). Forestry Commission Scotland has invested £4.5m in three sites. It has built a new centre at Kirroughtree and upgraded facilities at Clatteringshaws and Glentrool. Mr Wheelhouse said the park is a “beacon for tourists” and said the visitors centres are a “major draw”.

news l 11

AROUND SCOTLAND 4 NORTH EAST, ORKNEY & SHETLAND

Thieving banker jailed

Suspension in Aberdeen baby ashes probe A senior member of staff at Aberdeen crematorium has been suspended as an investigation into the handing of baby ashes continues. Crematorium superintendent Derek Snow was suspended from his post during the probe led by Dame Elish Angiolini. The former Lord Advocate is looking at the possible mishandling of babies’ ashes at crematoriums around Scotland, including Hazlehead in Aberdeen. An earlier investigation carried out by Aberdeen City Council found no evidence of wrongdoing. The crematorium is one of a number across the country investigated after the scandal at the Mortonhall crematorium in Edinburgh, where it emerged staff had been burying babies’ ashes in secret for decades.

5 TAYSIDE & CENTRAL

Students suit up penguins

Father of Dunblane shooting victim slams armed police

A bank worker has been jailed for a year for stealing £120,000 from a customer’s account Satnam Kaur was working at Royal Bank of Scotland in Aberdeen when she took the money from Robert Brown’s account. Aberdeen Sheriff Court was told Kaur would have received a longer sentence had it not been for a paperwork error by the Crown Office.

Dr Mick North, whose five-year-old daughter Sophie was among the victims of Thomas Hamilton in Dunblane in 1996, has said arming police would not have prevented the tragedy. Dr North (below) was responding to comments by Police Scotland Chief Constable Sir Stephen House that routinely arming police was necessary as incidents like Dunblane showed nowhere is immune to violence. However, Dr North said the Dunblane shooting had been “all over in three minutes” and “Dunblane is just not relevant” to the issue. Dr North was a key member of the Snowdrop Campaign, which led to a ban on the ownership and sale of most handguns.

Students at Dundee University have admitted they are responsible for dressing up penguin statues in the city centre. Pranksters have clad penguins in a variety of odd outfits over the past few weeks, most recently T-shirts proclaiming “I love the DUSA (Dundee University Students Association)”. DUSA president Iain Mackinnon admitted students were behind the penguins’ latest fashion statement. But he said he does not know who the first person to dress one of the penguins was.

6 EDINBURGH, FIFE & EAST Space plan fears

Israeli Fringe show cancelled after pro-Palestine protest

A Fife MSP has written to the UK government urging them not let plans to create a commercial airport at Leuchars fall by the wayside because the site is in the running to become the UK’s first spaceport. North east Fife MSP Roderick Campbell said while the spaceport plan is “exciting”, Leuchars’ potential as a possible commercial airport should not be forgotten. The RAF is moving out of the base.

An Israeli show at the Edinburgh Fringe has been cancelled after only one performance following a protest by a pro-Palestinian group. The City, a hip-hop opera by the Jerusalem-based Incubator Theatre company, which receives funding from the Israeli government, was already the focus of a campaign after writers demanded it be withdrawn from the festival programme. The Underbelly venue said the protest disrupted a number of shows and had no choice but to cancel the remainder of the show’s run. However, it said it was working to find a new venue for the show, which was due to run in Edinburgh until 25 August.

Cheaper Christmas promised Organisers of Edinburgh’s Christmas and Hogmanay festival have promised to reduce prices for this year’s attractions. Last year’s celebrations were heavily criticised for the costs of the entertainment, rides and refreshments. Event company Underbelly, which took over management of the festival for the first time in 2013, said it had learned lessons from last year. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

12 l news

AROUND BRITAIN

1 NORTHERN IRELAND

2 NORTH ENGLAND

Budget agreement reached

Ban on protests

Human tissue claims

Olympian heads City of Culture plans

The DUP and Sinn Féin have reached agreement over Stormont’s latest quarterly budget after a four-week deadlock. The deal agrees a two per cent cut to all departments save education and health.

A company planning to use fracking to extract natural gas in County Fermanagh has been granted an extension to a High Court injunction stopping protesters getting too close to a quarry. Tamboran Resources plans to drill an exploratory borehold near Belcoo in order to collect rock samples this month.

A member of staff at a leading cancer hospital received “bottles of whisky” and cash from the sale of human tissue samples, it has been claimed. West Lancashire MP Rosie Cooper said allegations by whistleblowers about The Christie Hospital in Manchester, which has denied the claims, need to be investigated.

The man behind the London 2012 Olympic ceremonies has been chosen to head Hull’s City of Culture programme in 2017. Martin Green has been named chief executive of the company responsible for delivering the year-long programme of artistic events.

3 MIDLANDS & EAST Cadbury home gutted in arson attack

Northfield Manor, the former Birmingham home of Cadbury founder George Cadbury, was destroyed in a blaze police say was started deliberately. Much of the Grade-A listed building was destroyed by the fire. The property is currently owned by the University of Birmingham and has been vacant for seven years.

4 WALES

Clone war of words

Potholes hole emergency response An ambulance answering an emergency call was put out of action for four hours after becoming stuck on a pothole-riddled road. Paramedics were called to the aid of a woman in Ormes Road in Skewen but as they attempted to take her to hospital in Swansea the vehicle got stuck on the road. A second ambulance took the woman to hospital.

3 4

Mount Snowdon to be sold piecemeal Five hundred acres of land on the northern slope of Mount Snowdown, Wales’ highest mountain, is to be sold off. Owner Dafydd Morris has said conservationists and the general public should buy parts of the land as part of a drive to conserve the mountain for future generations.

5 SOUTH WEST ENGLAND Taser charge decision due Prosecutors will decide if a police officer is to face criminal charges over using a Taser stun gun (right) on a Plymouth man who later died from severe burns. It was used on Andrew Pimlott despite police receiving received reports he had doused himself with a can of flammable liquid. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

A replica of Richard III’s armour created for a new display in Leicester has been criticised for resembling a Star Wars stormtrooper. Historian Anne Cooper said the armour, which has been painted black and white, is “grotesque”. The City Council said the armour is intended to show the injuries suffered by Richard at Bosworth Field, rather than be an exact replica.

6 LONDON & SOUTH EAST Man left “like an animal”

Dame Tessa takes lead

A man who fell to his death from a luxury penthouse flat was left lying on the pavement close to a busy shopping street for four hours covered by only a thin red blanket. Parents were forced to shield their children’s eyes from the “distressing” scene as the man lay surrounded by medical equipment next to a wheelie bin. One witness said he was left lying “like an animal”.

Dame Tessa Jowell has overtaken Diane Abbot in the race to become Labour’s candidate for Mayor of London in 2016. The former Olympics Minister has established a two-point lead over her rival in a new YouGov poll. Other names in the frame include Eddie Izzard and Doreen Lawrence, whose son Stephen was murdered in a racist attack in 1993.

PEOPLE

news l 13

Hostel spat goes viral ■ A Glasgow hostel owner’s online spat with a disgruntled guest went viral, reported the Daily Record. Todd Pedersen called guest Lou Taylor a “retard” when she complained that the accommodation at the Blue Sky Hostel had been “grotty” and “uncomfortable” during a visit to the Commonwealth Games last month. She also raged about guests having to change rooms at 2am and claimed there was no light switch or plug sockets in the room. However, Pedersen replied: “The light switches are right beside the door, open your eyes. There are six sockets in the room you were in, they are in the wall where they normally are in most houses.” Taylor retorted: “You run a dirty dive. Well done.”

Doctor Rude? ■ Doctor Who showrunner Steven Moffat has said Peter Capaldi may earn the nickname Doctor Rude from fans. He said Capaldi shares some traits with Malcolm Tucker in the new series, which starts this month.

Can Norman stand the heat in the kitchen? Lone Scot flying the flag in this year’s Great British Bake Off

Wullie’s quids in after drafting in a goat to help tidy his garden.

■ It’s a TV series that has inspired thousands of people to dust off their cake tins and don their aprons over the years, and Norman Calder hopes his efforts in the BBC’S Great British Bake Off this summer will get even more people back into the kitchen. Mr Calder, the son of a baker from the village of Portknockie, is the sole Scot to make it into the final 12 for the new series of the hit programme, and will be hoping to impress judges Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry throughout his quest to be named top baker. The Herald’s Vicky Allan said the 67-year-old is now “on a mission to revive those skills of Scottish traditional baking that are in danger of dying out”, and revealed that butter biscuits and “the Garabaldi scone his father used to make” are among his favourite recipes. However far he progresses though, the paper said there will always be one taster who will be “appreciative of his white bloomer” – his miniature schnauzer Lucy.

Alastair (85) keeps on rucking Octogenarian rugby player heads to France to take on the might of Tolouse, wearing his bunnet of course ■ A bunnet-wearing, 85-year-old rugby player is heading across the Channel to take on the might of French giants Toulouse. The Courier reported how octogenarian Alastair Urquhart, of veteran rugby team Brechin Bruce achieved celebrity status last season for his heroics on the pitch in a friendly match in Italy against Italian club Regio Emilia. The Edinburgh man played a starring role in the match in Italy, set up after a chance meeting at Murrayfield. But not content with that, Alastair is now gearing up for another season,

and will mount a challenge in the Scottish Golden Oldies Festival at Tillycoultry on August 16. And in October, the team will head to Europe once again after accepting an invitation from Regio Emilia to help them take on the veterans of Toulouse. Alastair shot to stardom after a man of the match performance against the Italians, helping to set up a try with a sensational interception and pass. He became a cult hero in Italy, attracting huge media interest.

Reunion planned ■ The teacher jailed for running away with a pupil is to meet with her in prison, said the Daily Record. Jeremy Forrest (32) has not seen the girl, now 17, since his conviction for abduction and sex with a minor.

Actor passes away ■ Actor Kenny Ireland, whose roles included the ageing swinger Donald Stewart in ITV comedy Benidorm, died aged 68. The Scot, who had also appeared with Victoria Wood on TV, had been battling cancer. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

14 l news

BEST OF SCOTTISH COMMENT

Paradoxical approach to the Middle East

Modern slavery should not be tolerated

Ian Bell

John Niven

The Herald

■ Three years after Colonel Gadaffi was deposed, thanks to a Nato bombing campaign, Libya has descended into chaos. According to The Herald’s Ian Bell, “the dictator’s arsenals” have now fallen into the hands of various factions, who are now in near constant conflict with one another. Bell said the situation is symptomatic of the West’s confused approach to the Middle East. He said the UK is “pouring £10 million” into relief work in Gaza through the United Nations while “David Cameron is voicing support for Israel’s collective punishment of the Palestinian people”. Bell said, setting morality aside, this policy is incoherent. While he said conflicts in the Middle East are not entirely the West’s fault, issues such as arms sales, the invasion of Iraq and “coddling dictators” means it has little credibility in the region. But nevertheless, said Bell, “the condition of the Middle East deserves a response more serious than another selfserving Tony Blair lecture on Islamists and terrorism”.

Sunday Mail

Don’t demonise Dawkins

Tiffany Jenkins The Scotsman

■ Richard Dawkins, whose book The God Delusion made him a household name, waded into more controversy last week. Discussing syllogisms on Twitter, he said: “Date rape is bad. Stranger rape at knifepoint is worse. If you think that is an endorsement of date rape, go away and learn to think”. The Scotsman’s Tiffany Jenkins said Dawkins (above) “received a bit of a Twitter slap” for his comment but said the “reaction was disproportionate to his offence”. More importantly, Jenkins added, “Dawkins was right: there are different degrees and kinds of rape”.

She said Ken Clarke attracted similar opprobrium when he said, in Jenkins’ words, “some rapes are more serious than others” while George Galloway has also landed in hot water for his views on what does and does not constitute rape. Jenkins said all crimes of rape “are wrong” and that women will, inevitably react in different ways to the violation. But she said “as a society we make distinctions between the severity of criminal acts” and this is not done by looking at the impact on the victim. Instead, she said it is based on the “intention of the perpetrator”. She said: “Judging the criminal act is about gradations in culpability and holding people to account for what they did”. This means, Jenkins added, that Dawkins, Clarke and Galloway “all have a point and should be heard”. It may be uncomfortable, but Jenkins said that as a society “we need to be able to talk about rape”.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ Humorous adverts featuring cuddly Shetland ponies have been blamed for a rise in the number of the animals being abandoned. The Scotsman’s Alistair Munro reported how “the craze for miniature horses was boosted by a TV advert that featured Shetland ponies dancing, moonwalking and tapping their hooves” to the Fleetwood Mac song ‘Everywhere’, adding that the advert for mobile phone company Three turned the “prancing ponies into YouTube stars”. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

A VisitScotland ad shown in cinemas also featured ponies wearing Fair Isle jumpers. However, there are now concerns that Shetland ponies are increasingly being dumped by owners “who bought them in the mistaken belief” they would be good pets. “I enjoyed the advert, but the breed will always have too many numbers because of irresponsible owners wanting to make money,” said Helen Thompson, one of the country’s leading Shetland pony breeders. “They are working horses.”

■ Nobody should make the mistake of thinking slavery is only found in history books, said novelist John Niven in the Sunday Mail. He said “slavery is alive and doing very well in 2014”. Firstly, he said recent reports have revealed that many Thai prawns available in UK and US supermarkets have slavery at their root. He said the company that provides the prawns feeds them using “fishmeal”, the bones and offal of caught fish. The captains of the boats that produce fishmeal, said Niven, buy men for around £250. They are then forced to work 20-hour shifts, fed amphetamines to keep them awake and face beatings, torture and even death. Niven also pointed to Qatar, where he said migrant workers being used to build stadiums for the 2022 World Cup are earning just 45p an hour for dangerous work. Niven said readers should consider where the goods they are consuming come from and “maybe don’t buy Thai prawns or watch the World Cup”. Alternatively, he said, they could “demand your government actually do something about it”.

16 l news “Known unknowns” on path to Europe

John Kerr The Financial Times

■ The thorny question of an independent Scotland’s membership of the European Union tested John Kerr, chairman of the Centre for European Reform, in The Financial Times. He said “the answer is uncertain” as to whether Scotland would retain membership of the EU on independence day but, borrowing a phrase from Donald Rumsfeld, warned readers of a series of “known unknowns” that voters will have to consider. Kerr said, firstly, that there is no precedent “for a member-state splitting and both parts wanting to stay in”. He pointed out that all 28 current EU members would have to agree to

BEST OF briTISH comment Scotland’s membership and that before the EU would begin considering Scotland’s application it would “need clarity” on “currency and regulatory issues”. This, according to Kerr, means Scotland and the rest of the UK would need to have agreed on the division of liabilities and assets before talks could begin. And he said talks could be complicated by UK and Scottish elections in 2015 and 2016. Any delay in settling these issues, he said, could have a knock-on effect on Scotland’s EU membership. But there was some good news for nationalists. He said there is no “queue” for membership, instead “progress depends on a candidate country’s ability to apply EU laws”. Kerr said that Scotland already meets this criteria for this but said “discrimination against its English neighbours” over issues like university tuition fees would have to end. He concluded that he sees the choice between being British and Scottish as a “false dichotomy”.

Home is where the heart is

Games best thing since Krankies’ sex scandal

Magnus Linklater

Gillian Bowditch

The Times

The Sunday Times

■ There have been plenty of scare stories about what life would be like in an independent Scotland, noted Magnus Linklater in The Times, but there is a point where “even those who support the status quo” get annoyed with them. The latest, he said, is about the 700,000 “mythical” Scots who would leave the country in the event of a Yes vote. Linklater said that figure was roughly the same number who threatened to leave in 1997 over the devolution outcome – but never did. He said the tone of the debate via social media had “not been a pleasant one” and asked if “all this bitterness” would set the tone if Scotland became independent. But he maintained that someone willing to leave the country “would have to be so deeply disaffected by its direction of travel that it ceased to be the country you love”. He concluded: “A country is a bit like a family – difficult, annoying, occasionally unreasonable, but still the one you are part of; it may not always behave in quite the way you want it to, but in the end it’s the only one you’ve got.”

■ Usain Bolt’s reported dismissal of the Commonwealth Games as “a little bit s***” caused “universal bafflement” in Scotland, said The Sunday Times’ Gillian Bowditch. She said everyone “agreed that the Games are the most entertaining thing to have come out of Scotland since the Krankies’s sex scandal”. But she said the best thing about the Games was the break they offered from the referendum. “The most political Games in the event’s history have become the most apolitical,” she said. And while many have complained the Commonwealth itself is an “anachronistic ragbag of disparate nations harking back to an imperialism of which few want to be reminded”, Bowditch said that “at its best the Commonwealth is about nations with a shared history coming together and cooperating”. She said they were a “heartening reminder... that what binds us together is so much stronger than what divides us” and that she hopes this spirit is still evident on September 19.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ Driverless cars could soon be on the streets of Scotland after the UK Business Secretary Vince Cable (left) unveiled a review into the laws that ban them from the country’s roads. Mr Cable said the computer controlled vehicles would be trialled in three cities from next year and would put Britain at the “forefront of this transformational technology”, adding that the government would make a £10m fund available for developing the technology in the UK. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

The cars are guided by radar, laser sensors, cameras and sat-nav, and could take to public roads in Britain for the first time in the New Year. But there was understandably some scepticism in the media, with the Scottish Daily Mail’s Ray Massey highlighting the public safety concerns that would surely go alongside the “self-driving robo-cars”. However, Sky News pointed out that insurance premiums “could fall dramatically” if driverless cars become widespread.

18 l news

everybody’s talking about...

Matter for debate Why are head-to-head clashes between politicians so important? 1. What’s the big debate? The independence referendum, naturally. After months of wrangling, Better Together leader Alistair Darling and First Minister Alex Salmond took part in the first televised debate between leaders of the two campaigns this week.

After a barnstorming performance in the first of three televised debates, Nick Clegg emerged as the clear winner and both Brown and Cameron spent subsequent contests falling over themselves to be the first to side with the Liberal Democrat leader.

2. Sounds great. Who won?

5. What a result!

Both sides claimed victory in the debate hosted by Bernard Ponsonby (pictured), but that is mandatory, even after a proper gubbing. In terms of the debate, anyway.

3. Will it change anything? That’s debatable in itself. Debates between presidential candidates are huge events in the US and have been ever since John F Kennedy (bottom left) took part in the first ever televised debate with Richard Nixon (bottom centre). Voters who watched on the telly compared the sweaty, scowling Nixon with the dashing JFK and concluded their was only winner whereas those who listened on radio were less convinced by the Democrat.

Enough to help the Lib Dems secure enough seats to form part of the coalition government anyway. Never one to shy away from a contest, Clegg threw himself back in the firing line before this year’s European elections when he decided to throw himself in front of the UKIP bandwagon and debate Nigel Farage about the benefits of the EU. It did not go well.

4. Thanks for the history lesson but have debates had much influence in the UK? The Stooshie agrees with Nick on that one. The three-way debates between Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg before the last General Election were new to British politics (above).

6. So was there a clear winner on the night? It was a bit of a split decision. Yes Scotland claimed that Salmond, an able

parliamentarian was able to swat away any potential difficulties as he does at First Minister’s Questions each week. The slaughter “worse than the Bannockburn reenactment” predicted by Pete Wishart MP did not quite materialise, although given there is no actual slaughter at a reenactment it’s hard to say what he was actually expecting. Better Together believe Darling’s forensic approach was enough to see off Salmond, who they believe always found it tougher going during debates in the Westminster bearpit than he has done at Holyrood.

7. So how much influence will the debates really have? Probably not a lot. Polls have barely shifted which seems to suggest that most people who’ve made up their minds are unlikely to change them. Former Conservative leader Annabel Goldie was widely considered to be the best performer in televised debates before the last Holyrood elections. Their vote went down while Alex Salmond (bottom right, in action against Iain Gray) and the SNP romped to victory.

8. If they won’t change any minds, what’s the point? Well, they can shore up support and a good performance can perhaps convince undecided or apathetic voters where to put their X. Of course, apathetic and disenfranchised voters may not exactly have be the ones most likely to have watched.

Butting heads TV debates in figures

350

Audience members at the debate between Salmond and Darling the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

22m

Combined number of viewers who watched the three TV debates before the 2010 General Election

news l 19

BOFFINS

Pass it on: we’re not dour

‘Chinese Whispers’ caused stereotyping of Scots

Got a minute? ■ One minute of exercise twice a week could boost pensioners’ health, The Press and Journal reported. Scientists at Abertay University found that just two high-intensity brief sessions improved old people’s fitness and lowered blood pressure. The exercise regime, featuring six-second sprints on an exercise bike, could be an alternative to current guidelines many older people cannot meet. “If people aren’t meeting the targets, we need to find ways to work with them when it comes to exercise, rather than just persisting with something that isn’t working,” said Dr John Barbraj.

■ The “dour” Scot of popular stereotype is a myth created by cultural Chinese Whispers, according to scientists at Aberdeen University. However, while stereotypes have negative connotations related to prejudice, they are also fundamental to the way we store and use information about other people, said Dr Doug Martin. Dr Martin added: “The cultural stereotype of Scottish people, for example, includes attributes that are overrepresented among Scots, such as wearing kilts and having red hair, but also attributes that seemingly

have no basis in reality, such as being miserly or dour.” The stereotypes arise from sharing information through a chain, with scientists saying the findings explain why some stereotypes have no obvious origin. Dr Martin’s team asked volunteers to remember information about ‘alien’ characters then pass it on. As this knowledge was continually shared, it became simplified and categorised to make it easily learnable. The research prompted The Herald, in an editorial, to describe myths of Scottish dourness and miserliness as “arrant nonsense”.

Astronomers weigh up the Milky Way ■ The Milky Way weighs less than previously thought and has only about half the mass of neighbouring galaxy Andromeda, The Scotsman reported. A team led by Edinburgh University scientists deduced that Andromeda’s extra weight was caused by dark matter, the mysterious substance that makes up over a quarter of the universe. The Milky Way and Andromeda have similar structures and are the two largest in a region of galaxies which astronomers call the Local Group, but researchers estimated Andromeda contains twice as much dark matter as the Milky Way. The experts say their work should help them learn more about how the outer regions of galaxies are structured.

■ Boffins at Aberdeen

University’s Rowett Institute are investigating if adding powdered vegetables to mayonnaise could unlock health benefits. They want to know if ingredients in mayo can increase the amount of carotenoids we ingest. Normally, we absorb less than 20% of the healthenhancing carotenoids found in fruit and vegetables.

Fracking could provide “positive economic impacts” for Scotland, according to an Expert Scientific Panel set up by the Scottish Government. The Scotsman reported that its verdict follows a British Geological Study report suggesting there could be as many as

11.2

billion barrels of shale beneath Central Scotland.

THE LEITH DECEASED DISPLAYED FOR US ■ Graves discovered during construction work on Edinburgh’s trams have allowed archaeologists to shed light on the lives of Leithers going back to the 14th century. Experts from Dundee University reconstructed the faces of some of the Leith deceased, who enjoyed a meat and dairy-based diet. The reconstructions include a boy aged between 13 and 17 and a woman aged 25 to 35, both of whom are thought to have died

in the late 14th and early 15th centuries. The remains of around 400 people were found in the previously unknown section of South Leith parish church’s graveyard, BBC News reported. Detailed analysis of 30 skeletons by Edinburgh City Council’s archaeology service and Headland Archaeology, in partnership with Aberdeen University, revealed Leithers were of shorter than average stature. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

20 l

LETTERS TO THE EDITORS A question about a question

best of the week

Break out your kilts ■ Come on ye Scotsmen and Scotswomen, where are your tartans and kilts? My grandson and I were outside the Gallery of Modern Art in Glasgow drawing with chalk with other young people on the paving as part of a children’s art project. We then walked through George Square and the Merchant City. I was wearing my kilt as I often do. We only saw two other men wearing kilts. Where is our pride in our national identity? Why keep your kilts with the mothballs in the wardrobe only to be taken out once or twice a year? Break out your kilts. Wear them and bring colour and pleasure to the many people in Glasgow for the Games and across the world through television. Show the world the wonderful colourful culture they expect to see and we are so fortunate to enjoy.

■ Where were the wordsmiths when the referendum question was agreed? Perhaps a very subtle but real linguistic crime was committed from which neither those in favour of an independent Scotland or those in favour of Scotland remaining in full partnership in the UK can claim victory. Perhaps we bought into the fallacy that we should aim to win, which infers that others must lose. Unless there is a fundamental change in mindset there can be no win-win possibility on September 19. Not a day passes without some credible or incredible economist, business person, sociologist, theologian, celebrity, journalist or politician giving their tuppence worth why we should vote “aye” or “aye right”. Perhaps we needed to realise the choice is not between right or wrong but is one presented in such a way that it guarantees a negative decision-making process. Gavin Cargill, Edinburgh Road, Linlithgow The Scotsman

All talk and no action ■ I am struck by the poll indicating that one in six would think about leaving if Scotland becomes independent, with five per cent considering emigrating if there is a No vote.

Brian Sutherland, Linn Park, Glasgow The Herald the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

If replicated, this would mean that up to 700,000 would go in the event of a Yes vote and 200,000 if independence is rejected. This reminded me of campaigning back in 1997 when friends, colleagues and others indicated that should Scots vote for the return of a Scottish Parliament they would leave. As with independence, none of these dire warnings came to pass and those who said that they would leave are, curiously, still here. Alex Orr, Leamington Terrace, Edinburgh The Scotsman

A false view of the city ■ The People Make Glasgow motto is the utmost hypocrisy. Ordinary Glaswegians’ lives have been changed (not in a good way) by their houses being demolished, chaos on the roads, walls round houses like ghettos and many more disruptions – plus being marked as a ‘gay city’. We, the majority, would never have approved of all that. Gordon Matheson, head of Glasgow City Council, shouldn’t be forcing his views on us as if they were approved by most Glaswegians. They are not. J. Mackay, Glasgow Scottish Daily Mail

Above or below the knee? ■ The correct wearing of kilts is above the knee, with socks at the top half of calf muscles. The designers of the Scottish Commonwealth Games team parade outfit should have studied video clips of Andy Stewart, who always looked so smart in the kilt. In Gaelic, we have a word luideach which means untidy. In my opinion, that is how the ‘below the knee’ brigade look. Alistair MacNeill, North Berwick The Scotsman

Show a bit of leg, lads ■ There is, sadly, a growing propensity for Scotsmen to wear their kilts in an inappropriate manner. C’mon boys. We’ve got to give our girls the encouragement of a wee bit of leg... Jimmy Armstrong, 3a Abergeldie Road, Ballater The Herald

A not so easy vote winner ■ I do not wish to trivialise the referendum, but after a week wild camping on the Isle of Eigg my vote will go to whichever side promises to rid Scotland of midges. Neil Sinclair, Edinburgh The Scotsman

that’s debatable ■ The Games opening ceremony was bound to be a pale reflection of London. In fact, the need to call in an English event organiser betrayed Scotland’s lack of confidence and Susan Boyle forgetting the words of Mull of Kintyre simply underlined the feeling. The eye-watering display of purple tartan could not hide the empty seats nor present some narrative of a nation supposedly debating its existence before a wondering world. Without Continental Europe and the major sports nations such as the USA, Russia, China and Japan, the games will be rather a sporting non-event. We are forever being told Glasgow punches way above its size culturally but sadly there was little evidence of this much-vaunted artistic talent and creativity. Instead David Zolkwer relied on clichés with highland dancing on whisky barrels and a huge Nessie

all held together by the chippy vulgarity one expects of the Fair fortnight. Dr John Cameron, Howard Place, St Andrews The Courier ■ Surely (Dr Cameron) knows it was a Scotsman who organised the Olympic opening? Rather a lot more money was spent then, as well. Should I mention David Cameron’s ill-advised speech at that opening ceremony begging for a “no” vote, since Dr Cameron seems to think Mr Salmond was playing some sort of blinder? The worst thing in his letter, however, was saying that the Commonwealth Games are a non-event. Surely encouraging young athletes from all over the world is praiseworthy? W Thomson, Kirkton of Craig, Montrose The Courier Letters have been edited

news l 21

THE WEE PAPERS

A taste of... John O’Groat Journal

Lines a “disgrace”

Prince listens in ■ Prince Charles put on a stethoscope to check a dog’s heart at the start of his annual public engagements in Caithness. He also learned about installing snares to trap foxes. The Duke of Rothesay was visiting North Highland College UHI’s new home for gamekeeping and veterinary nursing courses at Dale Farm, Halkirk.

Sport Anderson signs ■ Wick Academy made their third signing for the new season with Steven Anderson joining on a professional contract from Lybster Football Club. Striker Anderson has been one of the stars of the Caithness County League, and played a a major part in Lybster’s Eain Mackintosh Cup victory over Pentland United.

Fish go deep ■ Dounreay Fly Fishing Association anglers rose at 6am hoping this was when Loch Watten’s fish would feed close to shore before moving to cooler, deeper water later. However, recent hot weather meant most of the few fish caught in the early bird competition came from the deeper end of the loch.

Boost For Harbour ■ Wick harbour is set to play a key role in servicing a major offshore wind farm development, Gordon Calder reported. The port is the preferred service base for Beatrice Offshore Wind Farm Ltd’s turbine development off the Caithness coast. Wick Harbour Authority chairman Willie Watt was “absolutely thrilled” at the news, which could lead to the creation of hundreds of jobs.

■ Thurso Community Council heard that the condition of white lines on the area’s roads was “an absolute disgrace”. Community councillor Thelma Mackenzie said it was difficult to know where the lines started and where they stopped. “It is the same all over the town and outside it,” she said.

Old dram reborn ■ A whisky last produced in Caithness more than 100 years ago has been recreated

and is now selling in 25 countries. Gerston was resurrected by the Kilmarnock-based Lost Distillery Company as part of a venture to bring back the drams of distilleries that had long ago closed their doors.

Plane “drain” fears ■ Urgent action is needed to stop a ‘plane drain’ from regional airports, according to the managing director of Highlands and Islands Airports Ltd.

The Big story Staff ‘stunned’ at sacking threat ■ Staff at a Co-op supermarket in Thurso claim they have been told to work extra hours or be sacked, Will Clark reported. The supermarket did not deny the claim but said it needed a “flexible workforce” to cover busy periods. It is understood that a staff briefing heard the store was having difficulty filling vacancies for early morning, evening and weekend shifts. Staff also claim they were told that, if they did not agree to a change in contract to work extras shifts, they would be dismissed without redundancy. One worker, who wished to remain anonymous, said colleagues felt “stunned and undervalued” by the store’s approach. A Co-op spokesman said the store was looking at ways to increase the availability of existing employees. Where there was a business requirement to change working patterns, the store would do all it could “to agree a mutually acceptable way of making any changes”.

EVENING ALL Edinburgh Evening News

Evening Express

Evening Times

Greenock Telegraph

Evening Telegraph

■ Adding 15 extra

■ Residents of the

■ Shoppers in Glasgow’s

■ Local marina owners

■ Two infant classes at

car parking spaces at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary cost NHS bosses £2.1 million. The project involved relaying two existing car parks. Tom Waterson, Unison branch chairman for Lothian, said: “They’ve spent all that money and it’s cheap looking, even for a car park.”

Girdleness and Balnagask Road areas of Aberdeen have hit out a stench that is making them feel “physically sick”. They believed the odours came from either a waste water treatment plant or a fish factory in West Tullos Industrial Estate. Aberdeen City Council said the source was unclear.

Buchanan Galleries can now enjoy a glass of champagne with the opening of a “glamorous” drinks chain in the mall. The open-plan bar of 360 Champagne and Cocktails also offers coffee and cupcakes. Managing director Craig Ince said Buchanan Galleries was “a fantastic location”.

believe a similar facility in Glasgow would be a boon for Inverclyde. Kip Marina managing director Gavin McDonagh said: “It could be like having a caravan in Glasgow.” Glasgow City Council hopes to have a business plan for a marina ready for consideration by next year.

Barnhill Primary School in Broughty Ferry had 37 and 36 pupils respectively during 2013-14, according to figures released under Freedom of Information legislation. Despite a new extension, the school will operate above its 434-capacity when it welcomes 463 pupils this school year.

9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

22 l

VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST

NEWS BLOGS An artist has no country By Kirsty Gunn ❘ The Conversation Considering why so many in the artistic community are Yes supporters, Gunn, professor of creative writing at Dundee University, said it may be because “forging an independent Scotland is an intensely creative thing to imagine” but that she is an exception. Growing up in New Zealand in the 1960s and 70s she said writers became preoccupied with the “agenda” of creating a new, post-colonial identity. However, Gunn is more interested in aesthetics. “The artist has no agenda and no country,” she said.

■ The famous Kelpies statues near Falkirk

were lit up gold in honour of Team Scotland’s Commonwealth Games medal haul.

■ First Miniser Alex Salmond and his wife Moira take in the spectacle at the Commonwealth Games closing ceremony.

www.theconversation.com

Salmond’s biggest challenge is time By George Eaton ❘ The Staggers With just under six weeks to go until the referendum, Better Together remains “stubbornly” ahead in the polls said New Statesman political editor George Eaton on the magazine’s rolling blog. He said that even success in televised debates will not be enough to turn the contest around for First Minister Alex Salmond, who needs something unexpected to push the Yes campaign forward. He said the Yes campaign must be particularly concerned by the “stability of public opinion”.

■ Dancers from New Zealand were captured rehearsing for the annual Edinburgh Tattoo.

www.newstatesman.com/the-staggers

Opportunities scorned by Holyrood By Stuart Winton ❘ ThinkScotland Yes supporters claim the Scottish Parliament does not have enough powers but on ThinkScotland Stuart Winton said this is just an excuse for “its dearth of transformative legislation”. He said it could be argued the SNP’s second term in office has been “wasted on a campaign that looks little more likely to succeed than it did back in 2011”. Their failure in government is not down to a lack of imagination rather than power, he said. www.thinkscotland.org

High expectations may harm Salmond By John Curtice ❘ What Scotland Thinks First Minister Alex Salmond was expected to win Tuesday’s debate with Alistair Darling easily but this means a less-than-impressive performance by him could leave “voters disappointed” said Professor John Curtice. www.whatscotlandthinks.org the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

■ After The Commonwealth Games, attention turned back to football. Dundee United celebrated with a fun day at Tannadice.

■ Restoration work on a painting by Francesco Brini at Falkland Palace has revealed its true colours for the first time in centuries.

NEWS TWEETS #ScotDecides This is the worst game show ever.

A chap in the gallery just noisily unwrapped a sweet – it’s just like being at the cinema.

Elizabeth Windsor @Queen_UK

David Torrance @davidtorrance

Not Salmond’s best night. Shouty Man seemed to get to him. Darling demented at times but spin room liked his comebacks. Fear still key. Iain MacWhirter @iainmacwhirter

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VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST good week Leaps and bounds Businesses in Glasgow reported a “major rise” in trade thanks to the Commonwealth Games, far outstripping expectations. The Scotsman added that city hotels also said they had tripled their trade compared to July last year.

No case to answer Ex-Manchester United manager David Moyes is “in the clear” over an alleged bar room bust-up. The Scottish Daily Mail said the “fiery Scot” had been spoken to by police after claims he had attacked a man at a wine bar in Clitheroe.

■ Our word cloud amalgamates all the top stories from the Scottish papers, with greatest prominence given to the most frequently used words.

GOSSIP OF THE WEEK

bad week

Doctor’s Tardis debut

A drunken sailor? A ship’s captain was arrested after being caught drunk at the wheel of his ship. Andrejs Borodins was collared at Dundee harbour after a pilot boarded the Norwegian vessel to guide it into the quayside.

Hotel’s hostile reception An English shooter who competed at Glasgow 2014 was questioned by police after the hotel she was staying in called the police. Rachel Carrie said the Malmaison in Dundee treated her “like a criminal” after being quizzed for four hours about her shotgun.

Sitting on the fence Paolo Nutini has still not made up his mind on Scottish independence. The Scots singer told BBC Radio 1 Newsbeat he knows “where his heart is” but added: “I do believe there’s some time for me to educate myself on a few of the logistics, about how to survive and thrive as a nation.”

Fans waiting for Peter Capaldi’s much-anticipated debut as Dr Who do not have to wait much longer, reported Scotland Now. For the screening of the Time Lord’s latest series, entitled Deep Breath, will take place on August 21 at Edinburgh’s Filmhouse Cinema as part of the 39th annual Guardian Edinburgh International Television Festival.

Mylo’s much-needed kick Scots DJ Mylo revealed how performing at the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony inspired him to get back to work. The Skye-born star, whose real name is Myles MacInnes, had success a decade ago with his debut album but has kept a fairly low profile ever since.

However, the DJ said being asked to create a mix for the Games opener at Celtic Park gave him the “kick up the a**e” he needed.

Tom still going strong Tom Jones said he was “astonished” to still be headlining festivals after being asked to top the bill at the Belladrum Festival later this month. The 74-year-old admitted being surprised but said his ready to rock the sold-out Highland music festival. He added: “It’s great fun and a privilege to share the bill with some fantastic acts.”

A rags to riches fairy story Fitness coach Craig McGinlay, who worked at Falkirk, St Mirren and rugby’s Glasgow Warriors, has landed a leading role in new Scottish epic The Fairy Flag.

When even @iainmacwhirter says it’s not Salmond’s best night, you know he had a bit of a shocker.

This is poor from the FM. Simple answer is “nobody can stop us using the pound”. Let Darling witter about Panama.

Sign of how toxic euro is in #UK that @AlexSalmond preferred to be pummelled over currency proposals than make euro his Plan B!

Can’t believe a weak joke I once made about Scotland driving on right has actually been quoted by Salmond. He’s lost the plot.

Colin Mackay made the most important point right at the end of #ScotDecides – this isn’t about Salmond or Darling. It’s about the people’s vote!

Ruth Davidson @RuthDavidsonMSP

Wings Over Scotland @wingsscotland

James Ker-Lindsay @JamesKerLindsay

Andy Burnham @andyburnhammp

Patrick Harvie @patrickharvie 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

24 l

Stooshie of the week

aye or ay ❘ eye ❘

1. means yes. Usage: “Aye, time for a change.” ■ Let’s get one thing straight here: I disagree entirely with those people who say Flower of Scotland is simply a song about a rivalry with England. The song is about celebrating a nation’s proud history and Scotland fighting off invaders – it’s maybe just a mere coincidence that those invaders just so happened to be English. And I’m not saying Flower of Scotland does not do what it says on the shortbread tin. It is a rousing anthem, and the fact you’ll get Scots on the lash abroad this summer belting it out in the streets of Ibiza and Magaluf at 4am after a few too many shandies is probably testament to that. But I’m sorry, Flower of Scotland is a dirge to listen to and it is made even worse with the crowd, pipes and drums always – and I mean ALWAYS – out of sync with each other. When the song is sung at Hampden or Murrayfield, I must admit, you can’t help feel a tinge of pride with the skirl of the pipes and the home crowd standing on their feet giving it ‘laldy’. Take the anthem abroad though and that tinge becomes a twinge, and it can be painful viewing as well as listening. The song is often played at about a third of the speed it should be, leaving the fans

four or five bars ahead, and it just becomes embarrassing when you have got supporters looking at each other in bemusement trying to take a cue from the next person. If you think it’s a strange experience for the fans, spare a thought for the poor artist/ performer/X Factor reject given the ‘honour’ of leading the crowd in song. Ronnie Browne from The Corries was probably one of the better singers in a live setting, although even he had to resort to the occasional “COME ON!” to gee up a crowd, while poor old Darius (remember him?) couldn’t even remember the words ahead of a Scotland game in 2010 – let alone maintain the timing. Harking back to Saltire-faced Holyrood parodies is all well and good, but maybe it is time we mined the rich literary heritage of this inventive people for something more fitting. We need to stop defining ourselves through others, in this case Edward’s Army (or whoever it may be), and perhaps come up with something we can all unite behind. There will always be a place for Flower of Scotland. But maybe just not immediately before sporting events.

Should we drop Flower of Scotland as our national anthem? It was heard throughout the Commonwealth Games, but is it time to think again about our national anthem?

AS ITHERS SEE US!

O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us! To a Louse ❘ Robert Burns of sports like football, rugby “Sport and politics and cricket where Scotland don’t always make performs on the world stage the most comfortable as a nation in its own right. bedfellows,” wrote Alasdair With Glasgow 2014 over, Soussi in the Washington Soussi said athletes may Tribune Business News. But turn their attention to what Soussi noted Scottish sport Scotland’s status will be at has “been shielded” from the Rio Olympics. “Many the independence debate by observers have raised the the “staunch independence” the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

funding concerns that may arise with athletics in Scotland should the country make the leap from constituent nation to nation-state,” he said. “Others have speculated that many Scottish athletes would feel aggrieved at potentially losing their Team GB status at the likes of the Olympics.”

A “warm reception” set Singapore’s athletes at ease at Glasgow 2014, reported Wang Meng Meng in The Straits Times, and the country’s five stars and crescent moon flag bunting – “put up with the help of local firemen” – “brightened up concrete-coloured skies” in the Scottish city’s east end. The reporter said the Games provided “an opportunity to win medals and also a chance to pick up tips on how best to host the SEA Games on home soil next year”, although the “only complaint” was the high level of security surrounding the Games.

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Stooshie of the week

naw

❘ naw ❘

1. means no or not. Usage: “Naw, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

Writing in the Manawatu Standard, Mark Geenty said the Commonwealth Games experience had been one of contrasts, from the airport arrival which was “friendly and jarring at once”. “Glasgow has turned its frown upside down, applied some lippy, cracked a smile but added: “take us as you see us”,” he commented. “Cheery greetings abounded at both passport stampings, but a third border patrol man was having none of it and ran to give chase near the exit. ‘Where did you come from,’ he bellowed, staring at the

baggage sticker which told him exactly that. ‘Why are you here,’ he hissed, a media pass clearly visible in my right hand. Welcome to Glasgow.” Geenty noted how the buzz and buskers filled the “heart of a city with its share of grim surrounds”, and said there was always an undercurrent even when the Games began. “The happy scene is jarred by a hatchback blaring its horn, the young driver roaring past another car and offering advice out the window, complete with expletives,” he said. “Welcome to Glasgow. It’s our Games, and we’ll do it our way.”

■ Back in the 1990s, the Scottish sketch show Absolutely featured a deranged character called McGlashan. A stereotypical Scottish nationalist, he was prone to cycling over the border into England to flick the Vs at the English or to produce his own newspaper, where the only sport covered was a report of Scotland’s 2–1 victory over England’s World Cup winning team in 1967 nearly 30 years before. Former Scottish rugby international Finlay Calder is one who thinks it is time to dro what he called the “embarrassing anti–English rant” Flower of Scotland at sporting events. He obviously believes The Corries’ song has the power to turn us all into mini-McGlashans, furiously and impotently raging at our English neighbours. Now, some McGlashans may still exist but, really, anyone offended by Flower of Scotland is desperately seeking ways in which to be offended. The reason Flower of Scotland is popular, and it is worth remembering it was Scottish athletes who voted to use it as their anthem before the 2010 Commonwealth Games in Delhi, is not because it is an anti–English diatribe but because it is an invocation

of a defiant spirit that refuses to surrender in the face of overwhelming odds which, let’s face it, is needed when you’re Scotland. In sporting terms, Scotland always needs to punch above its weight at international level. Yes, Flower of Scotland is stirring stuff but that is why it works. The call-and-response lines in the verses demand spectator participation which is why it is perfect for before a sporting contest. It unites the crowd and athletes in the belief that the exceptional can happen. Nobody who sings Flower of Scotland regards the English as an invading force, or their sports stars as an enemy that must be vanquished. Those times, the lyrics note, are gone. Yes, it expresses the desire that Scotland becomes a nation once again but it’s not exactly fervent tub–thumping. If anything, the fact Flower of Scotland has become a sporting anthem shows how much the concept of nationhood has changed. The Scottish rugby team can bellow it out before matches and still wear the uniform of the British Lions with pride. And there’s one other thing which knocks the whole anti– English thing on its head a bit: Edward II was Welsh.

Opening ceremony singer Susan Boyle was once looked at with “contemptuous scepticism” by Simon Cowell, and Indian sport “should know what that feels like” – according to Shivani Naik in the Indian Express. “Delhi’s Commonwealth Games were declared an unmitigated disaster even before they kicked off,” he said, noting it took first day gold medals in badminton to “finally stop the English from carping about all that was wrong”. However, Delhi proved to be successful in the end and Naik felt the same

about Scotland’s Games. He noted that people did not need to go “chasing the dram” but the “dram comes coyly to you” – thanks to a bottle of Famous Grouse “tucked away” in his media pack.

9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

26 l

REVIEW & Preview

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL COMEDY

Andrew Lawrence assembly rooms Until August 24 ■ He may not overtly court controversy, but Andrew Lawrence can’t stop stumbling into it. After all, this year’s show is called “Reasons To Kill Yourself”. His comedy is dark and disturbing: where once he had a slew of comedy songs about sinister things, now

Nish Kumar

Average rating 7/10

pleasance courtyarD Until August 24 ■ With two successful solo Fringe hours under his belt, Nish Kumar is once again on top form with the rather clunkily named “Ruminations On The Nature Of Subjectivity”. Don’t let that title put you off though, the show is going down an absolute storm with reviewers. On the country’s foremost comedy website, Chortle, Steve Bennett insisted that Kumar is “fiercely intelligent, he is the voice of liberal common sense, calling to account stupid thinking wherever he may encounter it – even within his own unreliable mind”. On his Beyond The Joke website, veteran critic Bruce Dessau witnessed much to admire in this show: “I don’t know what Nish Kumar has been putting in his tea over the last year but it seems to have done the trick. The London-based comic has always been funny but this year he has gone up a level with a tighter, punchier performance.” And in The Telegraph, Mark Monahan needed no encouragement to warm to him: “A high-energy performer – smart-alec, but also immensely likeable – Kumar has not only packed his show with pithy anecdotes and observations about how we see ourselves and those around us, but has also woven an abundance of wit into them.”

EastEnd Cabaret underbelly Until August 25 ■ A genre-defying cabaret duo, Victor Victoria and Bernadette Byrne are best friends on the prowl for musical satisfaction and intense, occasionally passive-aggressive flirting with their crowd. Not for nothing is “Sexual Tension” the name of this year’s show. In the Scottish

Average rating 8/10

EDINBURGH FESTIVAL ART Ross Sinclair: 20 Years Of Real Life city observatory and dome Until August 31 ■ Two decades ago, Glasgow-born artist Ross Sinclair got a tattoo. Nothing odd in that, you might think. But for Sinclair, having the words “Real Life” etched the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

he just stands at his mic and reels off unsettling joke after unsettling joke. After difficult break-ups in quick succession last summer with his girlfriend as well as his agent, he claims to have never been happier now with his new partner. In terms of comedy, a positive outlook appears to be less certain. As Brian Donaldson in The List noted: “He ends by more or less announcing that he may well be finished with the Fringe after this August. And before a hushed crowd, he bade us goodnight.” In Metro, Damon Smith stated that “this year’s hour of nihilistic self-reflection is bookmarked by those poetic, bile-slathered diatribes which have become his trademark”.

Sunday Express, Paula Murray served this warning to any man in the audience: “Bernadette preys on who she wants and no fewer than three men are ousted, literally, from their seats to entertain her”. For Chortle, Steve Bennett focussed on the duo’s stage presence: “They absolutely own their room and their audience, which is exploited in some bold set pieces. It begins even before Bernadette gets to the stage, with two ‘volunteers’ who become putty in her elegant hands. Such swagger ensures the rousing finale, too, hits home with force”. Andrew Girdwood of the Edinburgh Reviews website said: “It may take a spot of courage but ‘Sexual Tension’ is well worth experiencing.”

Average rating 7/10 onto his back led to a 20year project into discovering exactly what that might mean. So, among all the pop culture ephemera lying around and on the walls, there is one specific idea he hoped to take forward: Sinclair is encouraging 20 teenagers to form five bands which he will mentor.

David Pollock in The List mused on this. “It’s a loveable and certainly useful idea, which clearly plays upon Sinclair’s thoughts on his own mortality and the purpose of his work. What is his art for? This show tentatively posits that we create to encourage others to create.” Average rating 8/10

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REVIEW & Preview EDINBURGH FESTIVAL THEATRE

FILM

Wingman

Guardians of the Galaxy (12A)

Pleasance Dome

Starring: Zoe Saldana, Vin Diesel, Chris Pratt

Until August 25 ■ Richard Marsh stars in his own piece in which he plays a man who is soon to become a father, and set to be reunited with his estranged dad at a family funeral. It’s fair to say that they struggle to get on, but while the prospect of reconciliation exists, there has to be some hope. For The Stage, Natasha Tripney concluded that “while there are some lulls in Justin Audibert’s production, some moments when this balance doesn’t quite work, it’s thoughtful and tender in the way it approaches what might otherwise feel like an over-familiar subject”. Over at The List, Gareth K Vile praised the “honest and thoughtful script”, noting that, “the squabbles between the two men, with Jerome Wright playing a winning rogue as the older father, are poignant and witty”.

■ No doubting the film of the moment as all of our critics have gone stratospheric with praise for the debut movie appearance of this Marvel group. Rammed with 80s references and an overly-complex story, none of that seemed to bother those who were quite happy to have something to laugh at for a change. The List’s Matthew Turner wrote the film succeeded in delivering “thrills and laughs in equal measure and launching a potential standalone franchise”. The Skinny’s Chris Fyvie called it a “wilfully incoherent and very, very funny romp”, concluding with the warning: “the somewhat bloated Avengers have got serious rivals on their hands”. In Scotland on Sunday, Siobhan Synnot said it was “fleet, funny, both futuristic and a little nostalgic, and surprisingly optimistic”.

Average rating 7/10

Average rating 8/10

Men in the Cities

The Nut Job (U)

Step Up 5 (U)

traverse theatre Until August 24 ■ Chris Goode has written and solo performs this play about two terrible events (a fictional suicide and the death of Drummer Lee Rigby) which indicate a crisis in the male psyche and can’t offer any real solace of a better future. The Guardian’s Lyn Gardner hailed Goode for his previous work which offers “a humane hand that reaches out towards the audience”. There was no such comfort here, though, with the play painting a “depressing portrait of male lives in crisis, repressed emotions, damaged sons, untouched fathers, fantasy power trips and lost souls”. For Fest magazine, Matt Trueman kept the faith, believing “it’s an extraordinary text: honed, humorous and, right at the end, hopeful”. For The List, Gail Tolley stated “Goode is aiming for truth in all its complexity over storybook simplicity and at times it’s electrifying to watch”.

Starring: Liam Neeson, Will Arnett, Katherine Heigl

Starring: Teri Hatcher, Ryan Guzman, Ed Harris

■ The school hols are in full swing and with Planes 2 not looking to be up to much, it appears that this squirrelbased caper is your best option for new animated fun. In The Herald, Alison Rowat gave it a warm response albeit with some reservations: “Some thrilling sequences make up for the humdrum characters and thin plot”.

■ Yes, I know you can’t believe it: the Step Up franchise has now reached its fourth sequel and the crew now flits between Vegas and Miami as they seek fame and fortune. Katherine McLaughlin of The List wrote that “the supporting stories are thin and the 3D is pointless but the dancing is, as ever, brilliant”.

Average rating 6/10

Average rating 7/10

9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

28 l THIS WEEK

SCOTS on the box

REVIEW & preview

Worth catching… A tough new European crime show and a silly British spoof drama head for Sky, while a satire on our Scandi-obsession floats onto the airwaves. And Deacon Blue are everywhere

TV: Gomorrah

Sky Atlantic ❘ Monday August 4 ■ If you’re still bemoaning the fact that there will never be another episode of The Sopranos, you could try one of two things. Go back to the boxsets and fuggeddaboudit or have a go at Gomorrah, an actual Italian mafioso drama. A no-holds barred and often bloody portrayal of the warring factions around Naples, this 12-part series is based on journalist Robert Saviano’s non-fiction exposé, which detailed how organised crime still holds influence in everything from the drug trade to fashion and banking. Watching in barely-disguised awe, Damien Love of the Sunday Herald warned it might be too much for some stomachs, but reckoned “Sky Atlantic is going nuclear by unleashing Gomorrah: a crime saga Sky co-produced for Italian television, which, if it lives up to the fantastic opening episodes, looks like being one of the TV events of the year.”

A Touch of Cloth Sky One, Saturday August 9, 9.00pm ■ For those who remember John Hannah playing Rebus (yes, you’re right, he was just too young and clean-cut), this spoof crime drama series written by Charlie Brooker is manna from satirical heaven. But, some might ask, given that Brooker was never in the police force, how can he be qualified to write such a show? Well, perhaps in the same way that not ever having been a zombie didn’t stop him penning the excellent Dead Set. And besides, as a professionally grumpy TV critic on both BBC Four and in the papers, he’s seen an awful lot of this stuff. In this new, third series, Hannah’s DCI Jack Cloth has another family tragedy to cope with. Not that he was especially close to the latest deceased but he still has to crack the case. He’s ‘helped’ along in this very personal mission by DI Anne Oldman (Suranne Jones) who has suddenly developed a terrible drinking problem and new recruit DC Kerry Newblood, played by the ever-versatile Karen Gillan as she tries to get back on dry land after being seen for so long as Amy Pond.

RADIO: Sound of the 80s

Bryan Burnett GET IT ON

Radio 2 Saturday August 9, 9.00pm ■ As well as playing a bit of Tears For Fears, Sara Cox is joined by Ricky Ross and Lorraine McIntosh, the hubbie and wife team in Deacon Blue. They’ll be reflecting on 1989 (as anything after that would mean a new name for the show), the year they released When The World Knows Your Name.

BBC Scotland’s request show played songs that best represent Scotland

Average White Band

The Blue Nile

The Proclaimers

Pick Up The Pieces

Tinseltown In The Rain

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)

Big Country

Dougie MacLean

Lulu

One Great Thing

Caledonia

Shout

Teenage Fanclub

Deacon Blue

Andy Stewart

Sparky’s Dream

Dignity

Campbeltown Loch

■ Get It On ❘ Weekdays at 6.10pm

RADIO: The Cold Swedish Winter Radio 4 Monday August 11, 11.30am ■ Here comes a new sitcom which rubs our noses in the fact that Scandinavian dramas have become so popular here. Edinburgh Comedy Award winner Adam Riches plays a failed stand-up who emigrates to an unpronounceable village in Sweden. Hilarity no doubt ensues.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Louise White morning call The following questions were asked on BBC Scotland’s weekday Morning Call programme ■ In order to fight germs, do ■ When it comes to we need to call time on the deliveries, are you being handshake? punished for your postcode? ■ Will Scottish success in the ■ Who will be responsible for para-sports at Glasgow 2014 your care in later years? help change attitudes towards ■ Was the Commonwealth disability? Games a wholesale triumph? ■ Morning call ❘ Weekdays at 8.50am

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REVIEW & preview

The best of this week’s books

SCOTTISH BESTSELLERS

The true tale of a wild hawk called Mabel flaps its way onto the Stooshie reading pile. There are also books about island life, Albania and a chap with the X factor talks music and life

HARD BACK 1. How To Train Your Dragon

RECOMMENDED

by Cressida Cowell

2. Written In My Own Heart’s Blood

H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald

by Diana Gabaldon

3. Fatty O’Leary’s Dinner Party

■ This is the true story of how one woman tamed and trained a goshawk, Britain’s wildest and most lethal bird of prey. Shattered by the sudden death of her father, Helen Macdonald started having dreams about hawks, so arranged to take one in. She arranged to meet a man on a Scottish quayside one day to take delivery of a box whose contents she would take back to Cambridge, setting herself on a true journey of discovery. John Lister-Kaye in Scotland on Sunday was blown away: “For me this book transcends nature writing. It recalls some splendid cave painting, telling as much of man as of beast, and leaving us in awe of each.” Rachel Cooke in The Observer was also thoroughly smitten: “She has written her taming of Mabel like a thriller, slowly and carefully cranking the tension so that your stomach and heart leap queasily towards each other.”

In Search of Solace

by Alexander McCall Smith

4. Shredded by Ian Fraser

5. Dark Road by Ian Rankin and Mark Thomson

6. My Scotland, Our Britain by Gordon Brown

7. The Great Tapestry of Scotland by Alistair Moffat and Andrew Crummy

Twilight of the Eastern Gods

What Ends

8. An Illustrated Treasury Of Scottish Folk And Fairy Tales by Theresa Breslin and Kate Leiper

9. Finding Nessie by Graeme Wallace and Robin Edmonds

10. Hebrides by Emily Mackie

■ Winchester-born, Scotlandraised Mackie returns with a novel about Jacob, a man who ditched his girlfriend, Solace, a decade ago in order to ‘find himself’ by adopting a number of different identities, only to discover all those years later that he only knew himself properly when with her. Kaite Welsh in The List hailed the book saying that it was “a nuanced look at identity, memory and modern Britain, it’s a novel in the vein of Iain Banks at his best.”

by Ismail Kadare

■ Compared to Kafka, this Albanian writer has reached a wider audience thanks to Edinburgh publisher Canongate. 1978’s semiautobiographical Twilight Of The Eastern Gods is released with a new translation. Alan Taylor in The Herald acknowledged that this is not a light read, but “where it scores is in its portrait of Moscow at a time when readers on this side of the ideological battlefield were more interested in From Russia With Love and Dr No.”

by Andrew Ladd

■ In this debut novel, the author ponders what happens when a small community disintegrates. Set on a fictional Hebridean island, it focuses on the various inhabitants who are seemingly trapped when their idyllic existence has to meet some harsh modern realities. Galen O’Hanlon in The Skinny stated that “Ladd’s prose is simple, lyrical, given free rein to explore a family saga that feels a lot fuller than might be expected from a 250-page novel”.

by Peter May and David Wilson

PAPER BACK 1. A Song For The Dying by Stuart MacBride

2. Scotland’s Referendum by David Torrance and Jamie Maxwell

3. There Was A Wee Lassie Who Swallowed A Midgie by Rebecca Colby and Kate McLelland

4. The Critic by Peter May

5. Extraordinary People by Peter May

6. Dead Men’s Bones by James Oswald

LOOK OUT FOR...

7. Flesh Wounds

■ Terribly popular X Factor host and Radio 2 presenter, Dermot O’Leary (right) releases a personal memoir in October entitled The Soundtrack To My Life. It features all the songs that were kicking about in his head during the landmark moments of his life, from The Smiths to, um, The Macarena.

8. Katie In Scotland

■ The Donald Meek Award will be handed out at the Edinburgh International Book Festival on August 14. This annual prize is designed to seek out and encourage some as-yet unpublished creative Gaelic writing in a variety of genres. The award can go to new or established writers.

by Christopher Brookmyre by James Mayhew

9. The Gruffalo In Scots

by Julia Donaldson, Axel Scheffler and James Robertson

10. How To Train Your Dragon 2 Activity Book by Cressida Cowell ■ Lists from Waterstones 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

30 l CHEF’S CORNER

Nick Nairn The Press and Journal

As well as two Cook Schools, Nick runs several restaurants including Native in the Hilton Garden Inn Aberdeen City Centre. Nick professed a longstanding love affair with scallops. When he started his culinary career, the Perthshire chef found that Scotland’s best scallops were exported. Only those with contacts in the fishing industry could get hold of them regularly. Happily, that is no longer the case and Nick recommended that the public buys Scottish, “hand-dived scallops still in their shells”. Scallops should “have a delicate smell that hints of the seaside”. Those with a “strong fishy smell” should be firmly avoided, wrote the TV chef.

tastiest FOOD & Drink Two new restaurants for Dundee ■ Dundee has two new restaurants. On Whitehall Crescent, the True Pizza Co. serves pizza, salads and sharing boards. Owner Phil Donaldson also has Gracie’s of Broughty Ferry. Oshibori is a new Japanese restaurant on the Nethergate. As well as sushi and sashimi, the restaurant sells ramen noodle dishes, grilled teriyaki meat dishes and crispy tempura. Oshibori also has a beer garden where customers can dine and drink Japanese beers or plum wine.

Win your dinner ■ In Edinburgh, the Indian street food restaurant Tuk Tuk is offering customers the chance to win their dinner. On Monday evenings, diners are given a dice. If they roll a six, their food is free. A spokesperson for Tuk Tuk said: “After being open for a year, we wanted to add an interesting twist for our diners on a Monday night.” “Most people don’t expect to roll a six, but we’ve been amazed at how much the luck has been on their side,” he added, possibly through gritted teeth.

Scots coffee stronger ■ A joint research project between Scottish, Italian and Spanish scientists revealed that cups of coffee sold in Glasgow contained

much more caffeine than those served in Italy or Spain. According to a report in The Scotsman, caffeine levels in 100 of the city’s espressos ranged from 72mg to 212mg, compared with 73-135mg in Italy and 97-127mg in Spain. The research has implications for people concerned about their caffeine consumption, as scientists warned that simply counting the number of cups drunk is not an accurate way to measure caffeine intake.

North gets southern soul ■ Aberdeen is being introduced to southern soul food with the opening of Maggie’s Grill on Holborn Street. Dishes on offer include gumbo, New Orleans BBQ shrimp and Aberdeen Angus short ribs braised in a sauce made with Dr Pepper. “What’s the worst that can happen?” asks the menu.

Surf and turf ■ Jason Wright has already tasted success with his Steak restaurant. Now the Edinburgh chef has opened the Fish Eatery next door to Steak on Picardy Place. Having previously worked at the awardwinning Ondine under Roy Brett, Jason has plenty of experience of cooking seafood. Welch Fishmongers are supplying the new venture with seasonal and sustainable ingredients.

WINE OF THE WEEK 2011 THREE LADIES CAPE BLEND The appliance of science makes better wine Writing in Scotland on Sunday, Brian Elliott was impressed by the scientific approach to winemaking employed by South Africa’s Warwick Estate. Apparently, the vineyard’s winemaking process is governed by more “quantitative techniques than a statistician could shake a calculator at”. The results are worth it. The Three Ladies Cape Blend is a mix of cabernet sauvignon, pinotage and syrah which Brian described as “smooth and full bodied but it also brings together black cherry, mint and vanilla flavours” which are boosted with “raspberry-centred acidity”. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

RECIPE of the week

Monk fish all’acqua pazza From Mattia Camorani, Head Chef at Cucina in G&V Royal Mile Hotel Ingredients ■ 150g monkfish per person ■ 1 head Cos lettuce ■ 300g diced fresh tomatoes ■ 80g diced green olives ■ 100ml white wine ■ 400ml fish stock ■ 2 tablespoons vegetable oil ■ 40ml extra virgin olive oil ■ 1 lemon ■ 30g chopped parsley Method 1. Pre-heat the oven to 180 degrees. Heat oven-proof, non-stick pan to a medium heat. 2. Cut Cos lettuce into quarters. Add vegetable oil to pan and season the fish. Cook fish in pan for about two minutes on each side depending on thickness of fillet. Turn fish over and place in the oven for about three minutes on each side. Take pan out of the oven and place it over a medium heat. 3. Pour wine in pan and let it evaporate, add fish stock, diced tomato and green olives. Let sauce reduce. Take fish out of pan and rest. 4. Cook the Cos salad in boiling water for few seconds, drain well and then season with salt, lemon juice and olive oil. Place Cos lettuce at the centre of serving dish and place fish on top. 5. Finish the sauce by reducing it a little bit more if needed and season with salt, black pepper and extra virgin olive oil. Add lemon juice to taste. Spoon sauce over fish. Garnish with parsley.

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THE BEST RESTAURANT REVIEWS Vittoria On The Walk 113 Brunswick Street, Edinburgh EH7 5HR www.vittoriagroup.co.uk ■ Tam Cowan enjoyed the “bargain of the century” when he reviewed the £10 two course lunch at Vittoria On The Walk. Founded in 1970, the Italian dining spot is part of the Vittoria Group of restaurants which includes La Favorita and Divino Enoteca. Writing in The Scottish Sun, Tam reckoned his starter of two meatballs was “big, meaty” and “far too good to share”. One of his dining companions thought that his starter of Parma ham and melon was “a true taste of the Med”. Tam disagreed and wrote that a “true taste of the Med is a full English breakfast... at an Irish-themed pub in Benidorm”. For his main course, Tam enjoyed his tagliatelle alla Vittoria. Pasta with Italian sausage in a creamy sugo, it is the restaurant’s best-selling dish and Tam was “amazed to see it on the £10 menu”. Tam thought that this weekday, lunchtime offer was “genuinely unmissable”. In fact, he wrote that he had not felt “so stuffed for so little money” since his last £10 pick ‘n’ mix at Greggs. Score: 28/30 | The Scottish Sun

Duo

The Canny Man

Cubatas

Chimichanga

2 Princes Street, Perth PH2 8NG www.duoperth.co.uk

1 Beith Road, Lugton, KA3 4ED www.thecannyman.co.uk

103 Elderslie Street, Glasgow G3 7AR www.cubatas.co.uk

39a Queensferry Street, Edinburgh EH2 4RA www.chimichanga.co.uk

The Courier’s reviewer found Perth’s Duo restaurant “hard to fault”. Despite a mix-up over his booking, the secret diner wrote that the Mediterranean restaurant was a “rustic, little hideaway” whose “cosiness is part of its charm”. “Hand-made on site” and cooked in a wood-fired oven, pizzas are the house speciality and the reviewer and his friend fell on the selection “like a pair of hungry, pizza-loving dingoes”. The pizzas melted in the mouth prompting the reviewer to note that it is “no wonder so many hail them as the best pizzas in Perth”. ❘Score: 46/50 | The Courier

After a “quick and attentive” welcome, Diner Tec mainly enjoyed the food at this Ayrshire venue. However, the Evening Times’ undercover reviewer thought that the atmosphere could do “with just a bit more of a bang”. A hiccup with service also dampened the experience slightly. His companion’s starter of spicy prawns with water melon and coriander “just didn’t belong together” although she cheered up when presented with her sea bream main course – a dish in which the “fish was cooked to perfection”. Thanks to “tasty, flaky fish”, the Tec’s fish and chips also “hit the spot”. Score: N/A | Evening Times

Despite suffering from “Scottish tapas fatigue”, The Herald’s Ron Mackenna reckoned that the Spanish are “finally opening good restaurants in Scotland” and this recently opened Glasgow tapas bar “is one of the best”. Although he did not enjoy a paella as much as he hoped, Ron liked “a juicy chicken kebab in turmeric”; “perfectly seasoned” tortilla and, more unexpectedly, a “deep, dark, almost chocolatey”, Spanish curry. Cubatas may be a little “dog-eared from outside” but the food is the “real thing” and a welcome antidote to the “pale imitation tapas joints that have mushroomed in Scotland”. Score: 24/30 | The Herald

Gaby Soutar’s young nieces liked this new Edinburgh Tex Mex more than their grown-up aunt did. However, a “cheerful and bright” interior plus staff who happily entertained the children were among the plus points in The Scotsman review. A steak burrito and BBQ pork chimichanga “looked identical”; were “lacking in vibrancy” and “rather forgettable”. While her pint-sized relatives did not “regurgitate or fling” anything from a Santa Fe sampler plate of quesadillas, tortilla chips and salsas, nothing on the plate was “especially scintillating”. Had this been her first Tex Mex, Gaby would “feel a bit meh about the genre”. Score: 13/20 | The Scotsman 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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PROPERTY

INSIDE OUT – our Pick of the Scottish Market

Ardmore is an attractive and beautifully presented modern Ardmore Altass, Lairg, Sutherland family home offering spacious living accommodation with wellOffers Over: £280,000 McEwan Fraser ❘ mcewanfraserlegal.co.uk n This is a rare opportunity to purchase a superb family home in a beautiful rural idyll situated eight miles from Lairg. This well presented four-bedroom home with stunning views is finished to a high standard and is set in a spectacular location.

proportioned rooms on two levels. Built in the last decade to a high standard, this family home has a sunny south-facing aspect with panoramic views over the hills and river. The heart of the home is the large family dining kitchen which opens to a lounge giving spectacular views at all times of the year.

BIG BUDGET

Townhead of Glencairn, Kirkland, by Moniaive, Dumfriesshire Offers Over: £680,000

9/54 Western Harbour View, Edinburgh Offers Over: £675,000

Knight Frank ❘ www.knightfrank.com

n Townhead of Glencairn dates from the mid-19th century and enjoys an outstanding south-facing position amidst a peaceful and traditional agricultural landscape. The rear quarters and former service accommodation have been cleverly adapted. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

n This fantastic four-bedroom apartment has undergone a complete renovation by the current owner, which includes the installation of a stylish mezzanine area and a state-of-the-art kitchen. Incredible views of the city and the Firth of Forth.

PROPERTY

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VILLAGE LIVING Dunkeld Cardrona

16 Duddingston Crescent Duddingston

This fivebedroom detached property has a stunning open plan layout complete with wood burning stove.

Coulters

Offers over: £345,000 A stunning property benefitting from large gardens and a separate summer house.

East Grange Farmhouse Inverarity

The Pleasance Falkland

Thorntons

Delmor

Offers around: £340,000

Offers over: £310,000

A spacious and well proportioned detached farmhouse cottage situated within mature gardens.

A stunnng detached dwellinghouse in the sought after village of Falkland in Fife.

❘ www.delmor.co.uk

❘ www.thorntons-property.co.uk

❘ www.paganosborne.com

Offers over: £525,000

❘ www.coultersproperty.co.uk

Pagan Osborne

CLIMBING THE LADDER

17/8 Gladstone Terrace, Edinburgh Offers Over: £295,000

5 Cuil-An-Daraich, Logierait Offers Over: £160,000

Pagan Osborne ❘ www.paganosborne.com

Thorntons ❘ www.thorntons-property.co.uk

n This three-bedroom top floor apartment forms part of a traditional tenement block in Edinburgh’s popular Marchmont area. The lounge has a feature living flame gas fire and bay windows which give views to Arthur’s Seat and Salisbury Crags.

n The property is located on the top floor of an impressive building, which was built in around 1864 as a Poor House. It has been refurbished externally and internally and offers three double bedrooms – with the master boasting an en suite bathroom. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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the best travel writing

TRAVEL THE WORLD

Jeremy Watson Scotland on Sunday

Sonoma Wine Country, USA

■ Blending his own bottle of Chateau Watson was a highlight of a trip to California’s wine country for Jeremy Watson. Creating his own blend was “a natural extension of the fun and demystification” of the winemaker’s art which the Scotland on Sunday writer enjoyed during a visit to Ravenswood Wines in Sonoma. The pleasures of the table made up the lion’s share of Jeremy’s trip. The Happy Girl Kitchen is a vegetarian shop and cafe “that makes and sells the produce of California’s rich farmlands”. As well as recommending their tomato and kimchi juice – all the “kick

of a supercharged Bloody Mary but without the vodka” – Jeremy reckoned that their carrot and pea risotto was so persuasive that anyone who tasted it may “never want to eat meat again”. The writer also tried his own hand at cooking. In Sonoma’s Ramekins Culinary School, he attempted crispy wonton cups with an apple and brie salsa. The end result may have been a “mite too crispy”. In the rare moments Jeremy did not have a napkin to hand, he was entranced by California’s natural beauty. A drive down Route 101 snaked “along one of the most scenic coastlines in the world”. Looking out over the Pacific, Jeremy marvelled at “huge breakers, twisted rock formations and cavorting seals”.

TRAVEL SCOTLAND

TRAVEL BRITAIN

TRAVEL EUROPE

Glasgow

Lake District, England

Paris, France

Vicky Lissaman ❘ The Daily Star Sunday

Susan Barr ❘ Sunday Herald

Tracey Davies ❘ Scottish Daily Express

■ Vicky Lissaman appreciated the banter and the Botanic Gardens on a visit to Glasgow. She was struck by the contrast between older buildings such as the “ivyclad university” and the “welter of modern steel and glass along the Clyde Waterfront Development”. A culinary highlight was the “insane Tomahawk steak, 1.4kg of melt-in-the-mouth beef” served in The Butchershop Bar & Grill. Glasgow has “a style... it’s not afraid to flaunt”.

■ While touring the Lake District in a vintage VW Karmann Ghia Cabriolet, Susan Barr enjoyed the way the “engine roared as it climbed” into the “dramatic glacial landscape”. After driving over the Kirkstone Pass, an overnight stay at Linthwaite House Hotel in Windermere revealed “the epitome of fine living and fine dining”. The hotel’s “old fashioned style” reminded Susan of the hire car and the way it prompted “wistful smiling”.

■ Tracey Davies found the trick to combining culture with a family city break is to “tie it in with child-friendly activities”. So an afternoon in the Jardin du Luxembourg was enlivened by “running around the statues”, while the catacombs, which hold the “neatly stacked bones of six million Parisians”, made the children giggle. The highlight was a trip up the Eiffel Tower which one youngster compared to a “giant Meccano set”.

TRAVEL NEWS Piping Live! tunes up

Scotland’s event-packed summer continues with Piping Live! A celebration of piping and traditional music, the event takes place in Glasgow from Monday, August 11, to Sunday, August 17. Some 50,000 spectators

are expected to attend and watch 8,000 performers from 150 nations. The event culminates in the World Pipe Band Championships which will be held on Glasgow Green on Friday August 15, and Saturday August 16. Over 200 pipe bands from all over the world will be trying to wrest the crown from Belfast’s Field Marshal Montgomery Pipe

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Band, winners for the last three years in a row.

Hebtember14 on horizon Looking ahead to the month of September, the Outer Hebrides will play host to the Hebtember14 arts festival. Taking place across the islands, the schedule includes several gigs from Gaelic singer Julie Fowlis as well

as comedy shows from our very own columnist Fred MacAulay. There are several ceilidhs taking place in the islands as part of the festival and Hebtember14 also features Snàth – an exhibition dedicated to the traditional, not to mention very fashionable, textile industry of the Outer Hebrides.

THE BEST OF the great outdoors the garden experts Slugs and snails take a liking to Lobelia ■ The Sunday Mail’s Carol Klein said that her Lobelia tupa has made “fantastic progress” this year, despite her previous fears that it might succumb to the cold. It had done so well that she has now added Lobelia Queen Victoria, which had “dark beetrooty leaves and dense spikes of searing red flowers.” However, her new addition has been badly hit by slugs and snails. “Not that I could have done much about it, except plant something that was less to their liking,” she said.

Buddleia for butterflies ■ Buddleia is an easy-togrow shrub that in summer can add long panicles of white and mauve flowers irresistible to butterflies, said the Sunday Post’s Agnes Stevenson. Dwarf varieties are now widely available for growing in pots and you should remember to cut down all kinds to ground level in the early spring.

There’s a real art to watering your plants ■ Apprentice gardeners are “often surprised that so much time is spent teaching them the skills of appropriate watering”, wrote The Scotsman’s Jenny Mollison in her allotment column. She tries to target her watering. For example, most leafy vegetables will “droop on a hot day. It’s their coping mechanism. Once evening comes they’ll perk up again”. However, if they still look droopy “they will appreciate a good soaking under their canopy of foliage where the water will go straight to the roots”.

OOT AND ABOOT! Pooch tackles peaks

Daredevils defended

Pedalo charity bid

■ A mountaineering Jack Russell is preparing to climb its ninth Munro. The Sun reported that the intrepid pooch, called Cluanie, has raised thousands of pounds by climbing eight peaks. Cluanie and owner Micky Jones from Inverness, have already scaled Ben Nevis, and will now climb Britain’s second highest mountain, Ben Macdui, to raise money for the Highland Hospice.

■ Moray villagers defended the daredevil practice of “tombstoning”, saying it was a local tradition dating back centuries. The Press and Journal published pictures of youngsters from Portknockie leaping into the sea from the top of a cliff. The Coastguard has condemned the practice but some locals argue that it is not dangerous if you know what you are doing.

■ Three friends set off on a bid to navigate the north coast of Scotland in a Loch Ness Monster-shaped pedalo. Ed Foster, Nico and Natasha Kirby and Sholto Morgan will attempt to pedal 500 miles (800 km) in the vessel to raise £250,000 for charity. In Inverness, Foster and Kirby also beat the record set by cricketer Andrew Flintoff for the fastest 100m sprint in a two-person pedalo.

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NATURE’S BEST ■ A passer-by in Stewarton couldn’t believe his eyes when he spotted a six-inch giant millipede in a driveway in the Ayrshire town. The Sun reported that the African insect, which can have up to 400 legs, is now being cared for by the Scottish SPCA. It’s believed that the insect is an escaped pet and Chief Inspector Fiona Henderson said: “We can’t imagine that it travelled too far.” ■ Edinburgh Zoo’s giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang had their indoor show dens closed to visitors as tension mounted over a possible pregnancy. However, the Zoo was keeping the outdoor viewing areas fully open. A Zoo spokesman said their staff were “working hard to respond to Tian Tian’s signals and create the best environment for her”. He said:“This is a critical time for her pregnancy and like last year she is showing sensitivity to noise.” The paper said that if Tian Tian does turn out to be pregnant it is likely that the entire panda enclosure will be closed for a period of several weeks.

Weather Sunniest –

Orkney 7.1hrs

Warmest – Aviemore 21C (69.8F)

Coldest – Cairngorm 6C (42.8F) Wettest – Glasgow 0.91ins

That was the weather that was: The last day of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow was marred by torrential rain during the men’s and women’s cycling road races. And according to the Sunday Post, we can expect more of the same throughout August as the hot spell in July is followed by a prolonged period of showery and unsettled weather. The July heatwave, when temperatures in Scotland reached 27C, was bad news for gardeners, with freelance landscaper Mellors McBride from Giffnock telling the paper that he had been called out to countless parched lawns in need of tender loving care. “Newly laid turf needs constant watering, but the hot spell we had in July meant that didn’t happen,” he said. “There are a lot of poorly lawns out there. A spell of wet August weather would be a welcome thing for me.” 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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CONSUMER

Three of the best... grooming gadgets

tried and tested

Time can be a precious commodity these days so why not cut down on the time you spend in front of the mirror with this trio of labour-saving grooming devices? Summe

Patio items

Garden Gnome £1.49 Home Bargains

Gillette Proglide Styler £19.99

Klhip £49.99

As razor makers have discovered they can’t possibly add any more blades for even closer shaves, they’ve decided to get smart and create multi-use shaving systems, and here’s a most valiant effort. The five blades give a superclose shave, as good as any cutthroat experience. There’s also a super-accurate single blade on the rear for edging sideburns, and combs to trim your beard to within an inch of its life.

The price might make your eyes water as much as if you’d had a mishap with your free ‘Christmas cracker’ clippers, but these award-winning nail clippers have been crafted to stay on show (not at the back of the drawer) and they’re ergonomically near perfect. Combining a better leverage system, ease of control and topclass stainless steel hull, they are the king of clippers.

www.superdrug.com

www.thefowndry.com

Tria Face and Body Laser 4X Hair Removal System £363.00 There are various hair removal options on the shelves, but none offering the longevity of results a laser treatment system can, and this is the only cordless system for home use. Using the same diode technology as dermatologists, the 4X delivers permanent removal with a digital display and pulse counter, to give the user extra confidence to treat face and body. www.qvcuk.com

Everyone needs a friendly Garden Gnome to keep watch and add character – and at this price, you can’t go wrong!

Ramso Parasol £7.50 Ikea

Make sure your outdoor space offers some shady areas to dine beneath when the midday sun is at its strongest.

Charcoal Bucket BBQ £7.00 Tesco

There’s no excuse for not firing up the barbecue with this bargain bucket.

Tahiti Daybed £899.99 Fishpools

If you fancy splashing out, you won’t find a cosier hideaway to while away the day.

DRIVE TIME

Mini Cooper S Price from £18,650

Audi S1

Jack McKeown ❘ The Courier

Price from £24,905 Alisdair Suttie ❘ Sunday Post

The all-new Mini, introduced at the start of 2014, “doesn’t look much different” from the old one but don’t let that fool you: it’s “brand new from the tyres up”. In driving terms it is “more mannered” than the old Mini, which made some long motorway journeys “something of an ordeal” due to its firm ride. The good news is it’s “still terrific fun” and it “feels more agile than anything this side of a Lotus or Caterham”. So although it may look very similar to the previous Mini, it’s “better in almost every regard”. It has more room in the cabin and boot, “more polished” road manners and improved ride quality.

“Sober-suited” Audi is not normally known for its “tearaway cars” but this super-fast Audi is “an impressive machine” born “every once in while the engineers from Ingolstadt are left to their own devices”. On any road, it’s “rapid and assured” and “steers with precision and inspires confidence in all conditions” and, pricewise, whether you think it is pricey or good value “boils down to perception rather than any performance or driving advantage”. It’s “hard not to like the S1”, especially when it’s one of those “rare moments of madness” from Audi. “Even so, it’s not quite as thrilling as its rivals.”

Jeep Cherokee 2.0 Price from £35,695 Alan Douglas ❘ The Scotsman Jeep admitted that “they took their eye off the ball” when they suffered a slide in the UK market, but the company has seen a “turnaround” that has made Jeep the “fourth fastest-growing brand in Britain”. With the new Renegade model and revamps of the Wrangler and Grand Cherokee to come, the Cherokee is an “impressive machine which the company says will draw in customers new to the brand who want something different”. It is certainly “well put together, it’s well behaved on the road and it looks pretty good”. Evidently “fighting back”, Jeep is “determined to win the battle for customers”. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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BUSINESS & FINANCE Hired, Fired & RETIRED

Conspicuous consumption rules hit drinks giant Diageo Edinburgh-based Johnnie Walker and Smirnoff vodka owner sees its Far East ambitions hit as the Chinese Government moves to curb enthusiasm for luxury brands. ■ The world’s largest spirits maker has been left nursing a £300m profits hangover after a slowdown in key markets. Diageo was forced to book a £264m writedown against the value of Shui Jing Fang, the Chinese baijiu white spirit firm in which it holds a 40% stake, as new anti-corruption laws in the country led to a significant reduction in demand. The effect of the crackdown was evident in Diageo’s total group sales of £13.98bn for the year to June 30, down 8.5% on the year previous. The Guinness owner’s bottom line was also impacted by volatility in currency rates. The weaker figure came a day after Diageo announced a senior management reshuffle following the surprise departure of chief corporate development officer Gilbert Ghostine.

SME manufacturers are recruiting at the fastest pace since at least

1988

The CBI’s new SME trends survey found recruitment sentiment was at its most positive in Q2 2014 since records began.

COMMENTATORS SAY The Daily Telegraph said Diageo had been left “parched” by China’s new anticorruption legislation. John Ficenec and Nathalie Thomas said President Ji Xinping’s crackdown on excess had led to a significant cutting back by government officials and businessmen on “lavish gifts” of baijiu. They also reported that sales of the firm’s flagship whisky brand Johnnie Walker had fallen by a third in the country over the course of the year, while volumes were down 14% in Asia Pacific as a whole. Writing in the same paper, Oliver Duggan said Diageo was not the only big brand to suffer as a result of China’s conspicuous consumption law.

The CBI said strong domestic orders and an increase in output had bolstered the confidence of small and medium sized manufacturing firms. However, the business body noted that while optimism about overseas trade had increased in the period, export volumes were broadly flat. Deputy director general Katja Hall said SME manufacturers were in a regular growth pattern.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

He said Burberry, Versace, Louis Vuiitton and watchmaker Omega had all felt the pinch. “Not a vintage set of results” was how RBC Capital Markets analyst James Edwardes Jones summed up Diageo’s year in The Financial Times. However, he told the paper’s Scheherazade Daneshkhu the performance was “satisfactory” in the “context of recent hiccups.” The paper also noted there were “some bright spots” in emerging markets for Diageo with sales hikes in Brazil, Colombia and Indonesia. Dominic Walsh of The Times said changes made by Diageo chief executive Ivan Menezes in areas such as innovation and routes to market and his “ruthless focus on driving out cost” was starting to pay dividends. He quoted the CEO’s view that Diageo was entering the new financial year as a more “agile organisation.” Scott Wright in The Herald said Diageo’s spirits had toiled in the Far East but had turned in a “mixed performance” for the year overall.

■ Full service Scottish legal firm Anderson Strathern has appointed Murray McCall as its new managing partner. Mr McCall, who joined the Central Belt firm eight years ago, will take up his new post on September 1 as incumbent Andy Lothian moves back into a regular operational role. ■ The Bank of England’s head of financial stability has quit the central bank after 25 years to take up a post as chief economist with oil giant BP. Spencer Dale (pictured) will take up his new job on October 27 after a threemonth “cooling off period”. ■ The Press and Journal reported that Susan Bree had been removed as CEO of Aberdeen Inspired, the Business Improvement District group. The paper said Mrs Bree had been axed after she gave her operations director husband Alan a pay rise without approval. The BID’s board backed the removal unanimously.

BUSINESS & finance WEEK IN NUMBERS

£4.5 billion

The amount of savings tied up in so-called “sloth accounts” in Scotland. Scottish Friendly said that millions of savers held their rainy day cash in a savings account linked to their current account, a move that was potentially denying them millions in interest.

2,500

The number of jobs that could be created in the North Sea by the pursuit of marginal oil reserves. Consultants RMRI estimated that up to £40 billion of “unforeseen” oil could now be extracted thanks to advancements in exploration and recovery technologies.

150,000

The capacity in cubic metres of a new gas storage tank being built by Lanarkshire-based engineering group Motherwell Bridge’s Clayton Walker Gasholder division for China’s Baoshan Iron & Steel Company.

£370 million

The amount of damages being sought by Scottish-born entrepreneur Stewart Ford from the City watchdog over what he claims was the “politically motivated” closure of his firm Keydata Investment Services. Mr Ford told Scotland on Sunday the Financial Services Authority had ruined his reputation and he was now “fighting back.” The FSA’s successor the Financial Conduct Authority declined to comment.

1956

The year in which Elgin-based Springfield Properties was established. The firm, which only started to focus on housebuilding in the 1990s, secured a new £23m credit facility with the Bank of Scotland this week. It expects to build 500 homes in 2015, generating sales of £90m.

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Banker bonuses Watchdog’s claws out ■ Errant bankers will be forced to hand back up to seven years worth of bonuses under new rules designed to crackdown on reckless practices. But the new regulations will not be applied retrospectively meaning the individuals whose misdemeanours brought the UK economy to its knees in 2008 will not be punished.

The average price of a house reached £188,949 in July, a

10.6%

increase on a year earlier. However, the Nationwide said growth of just 0.1% from June represented the slowest monthly house price increase seen since last Spring.

Gareth Mackie of The Scotsman said the new legislation could lead to an overseas exodus of financial services professionals. However, the paper’s business editor Terry Murden was sceptical over what difference the changes would make, saying banks could simply offer higher salaries to circumvent the new legislation.

Scottish airports jettisoned ■ Glasgow and Aberdeen Airports will change hands by the end of the year after owners Heathrow Airport Holdings put them on the market. The Scotsman said Spanish infrastructure group Ferrovial was expected to snap up the Scottish airports and their Southampton stablemate in an £800 million deal. Erikka Askeland of The Press and Journal said the Granite City hub, which is popular amongst oil and gas workers, was the most valuable of the three airports on offer. Herald View said plans to sell off Glasgow Airport were “bound to be worrying” for staff but said the move could be beneficial for them, passengers and business fliers. The Daily Record’s Keith McLeod quoted a “Glasgow Airport source” who speculated the sale was being progressed in order to raise cash for investment at Heathrow.

COMMENTATORS SAY

Marriage difficulties ■ A planned £3 billion merger between construction majors Balfour Beatty and Carillion looks off the cards after talks descended into a public spat. Balfour said it had walked away after Carillion’s “wholly unexpected” decision to insist its for-sale US business Parsons Brinckerhoff was scrapped. Carillion said it was “surprised” by Balfour’s stance but said it still believed in the rationale behind a merger.

Daily Telegraph mergers and acquisitions reporter Ashley Armstrong said the collapse of talks had “stunned” the market. She said Balfour chairman Steve Marshall had been left infuriated by the situation. Patrick Hosking in The Times said romances “can turn ugly in the bat of an eyelid” and the courtship between the two firms had “ended in tears”. He said it appeared Balfour was the “wronged party” as both firms had agreed Parsons would not be included in the merger discussions. The Financial Times Lombard column reopened its agony aunt service after talks failed. Jonathan Guthrie suggested that Balfour may rue the failed romance most, saying simply: “It needs a rescuer”.

talking heads “There is of course uncertainty that would flow from a Scottish independence outcome, but then having said that we would of course deal with Scottish independence in the way that we would have to.” Shell chief executive Ben van Beurden (pictured) vows to carry on regardless whatever the outcome of next month’s referendum vote.

“With growing affluence and cultural changes, animals are being kept more as companions in Hong Kong.” David Taylor, managing director of Borders veterinary supplies firm Merlin Vet Export, explains why his company has been enjoying an uplift in Asia. Mark Williamson of The Herald said the firm had been an “unlikely beneficiary” of rapid economic growth in the region.

“We recognise the waste industry is changing rapidly and we will eventually become commodity traders and fuel suppliers as a result of our waste collection, processing and recycling operations.” Allan McGregor, CEO of Perthshire waste management firm Binn Group, says significant value remains in the waste thrown away by homes and businesses in Scotland. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT Dad’s fears for Lynsey

Clown prince Bolt makes headlines for all the right reasons at Hampden ■ Sprint legend Usain Bolt may have made the headlines for all the wrong reasons after reports that he had dismissed the Commonwealth Games as “a bit s**t”. But the fastest man on earth made the Hampden crowd forget all about that with an extraordinary display of showmanship before and after leading Jamaica to victory in the 4x100 metres relay. Before the race, Bolt blew kisses to the Hampden crowd as he warmed up to Scotland the Brave, reported the Scottish Sun on Sunday. And as the 44,000 crowd partied to the Proclaimers’ I’m Gonna Be (500 miles), Bolt began dancing along. He then delighted the crowd by embarking on his full repertoire of clowning around, including The Running Man dance, the Batsui, which was made famous by John Travolta

in Pulp Fiction, and even indulging in a little Saturday Night Fever. In the race itself Bolt was as imperious as ever, bringing the baton home in 37.58 seconds, with England coming second and Trinidad and Tobago taking bronze. But even after the race, Bolt wasn’t finished, posing for selfies with the crowd, donning a tartan bunnet and climbing into the crown to plant a kiss on an elderly fan. Bolt had furiously denied making derogatory remarks about the Commonwealth Games which had been reported by the Times, but after leading his teammates to victory in their heat, he admitted the Glasgow weather had got to him. “It’s just the weather” he said. “It’s got cold. But I am happy to be here and I am enjoying what’s going on.”

■ Lynsey Sharp’s dad didn’t watch her win a silver medal, because he feared she would end up in hospital. Lynsey fought all the way to the line to clinch second place in the 800 metres. But in an emotional interview after the race she revealed she has been struck down by a bug the night before, and had been up vomiting until 5.30 am. She told the Sunday Post that she feared she had contracted the norovirus bug and that her medal dreams would be over. “I asked at the clinic whether it could be the norovirus. They said it wasn’t because I didn’t have a temperature. It was a big relief.” However, it was all too much for her dad, former Commonwealth sprinting champ Cameron. “When my mum told me he was staying away I was so annoyed,” Said Lynsey. “He’s sent me two emails since I won, which are slighlty sheepish, but it’s OK. They read: ‘You did really well’.”

OTHER NEWS Kirsty’s silver completes Scots’ record medal haul Kirsty Gilmour won Scotland’s 53rd and last medal of the Games by taking silver in the women’s singles badminton. Gilmour had become the first Scottish women to reach a Games final with victory over tee Jing Yi of Malaysia in the semi final. But she could not repeat her heroics in the final, going down to Canada’s Michelle Li.

Hockey star makes it up to broken wrist ball girl England hockey star Simon Mantell made amends to the ball girl her put into hospital by mistake. The England forward accidently knocked over Anna Walmsley, who broke her wrist. But the Daily Record reported that he had presented her with a signed England shirt, match tickets and pin badges.

Eilidh’s dad has another big date to look forward to Eilidh Child’s dad says giving her away at her wedding next year will rival her Hampden medal win for sheer emotion. Ronnie Child was overwhelmed when Eilidh ran over to give him a hug after winning silver in the 400m hurdles, and he told the Sunday Post: “Giving Eilidh away will definitely be so emotional,” She’s the last of my daughters to get married.” Eilidh will wed fiance Brian Doyle on October 17 next year at Glenskirlie House & Castle in Stirlingshire.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ Motherwell postie Charlie Flynn became the cult hero of the Games after winning boxing gold. Flynn and fellow Scot Josh Taylor, sent the crowd at the Hydro into raptures by winning double gold at lightweight and light welterweight. . But it was Flynn’s BBC interview that won the hearts of the nation. “It was a hard, hard fight,” he said. “I’m knackered. I’m war wounded from all the fights. I felt like I was going to drap deid.”

Asked if he could see his friends and family in the crowd he said: “No. I couldnae see them - it’s like ants up there. Ants that sound like lions.” Flynn also thanked his mum. “I couldn’t ask for a better mum. All the washing and the cleaning she does, it’s unbelievable. I go through about 15 T-shirts a day, man.” The Scot’s comments went down a storm online, with Scots Tory leader Ruth Davidson, Gary Lineker and First Mininster Alex Salmond all tweeting their approval. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT Bad week for Aussies

Scotland hails its heroes

Crowds inspire team to record medals haul ■ Commonwealth Games chief Prince Imran delighted the Hampden crowd at Sunday’s closing ceremony when he said that Glasgow had put on the “best Games ever”. And the same could be said for the magnificent efforts of Team Scotland, who surpassed all expectations by winning an incredible 53 medals, including 19 golds, and coming fourth in the medals table. The achievement of the Scottish sports men and woman can be shown by the fact that the official medal target was 34, one more than

Scotland had won at any previous Commonwealth Games. It was reported that the “private” medal target was actually somewhere around 40, but even that total was passed with ease. The last in a series of huge emotional highs for the Scottish crowd came at the Hydro on Saturday afternoon, where within 45 minutes boxers Charlie Flynn and Josh Taylor rode the wave of euphoria to take gold in the lightweight and light welterweight divisions.

Scotland undoubtedly benefited from judo’s return to the Games, and the team duly picked up six gold medals and 13 medals in total. Alex Marshall, memorably dubbed the “Messi of bowls” led our bowlers to three golds at Kelvingrove Park and there were also double successes in gymnastics and cycling. Ross Murdoch, Hannah Miley and Dan Wallace raced to gold in the swimming pool while Libby Clegg provide the only golden moment on the Hampden track with victory in the Women’s T12 100m final.

COMMENTATORS SAY Scotland won 33 medals, ■ The record haul of medals only three of them gold. from Team Scotland was “by A more relevant target, was any reckoning a remarkable the 11 gold medals won in achievement,” wrote Stuart Melbourne eight years ago, Bathgate in The Scotsman. but that was also “bettered While some were quick to long before the end.” suggest it had all been too Writing in the Herald, Doug easy when medal targets were Gillon said Team Scotland surpassed so quickly, with may have set a record that the inclusion of para sports can never be surpassed. and the return of judo always He described the scale of going to boost the medal tally, the team’s achievement as Bathgate said that “even the “Beamonesque”, after the most cursory of comparisons American long-jumper who with the previous most famously shatterd the world successful games, Edinburgh record at the Mexico City in 1986, gives the lie to the Olympics in 1968. notion that this was little more He says that Lottery finding than a walk in the park for has made a huge difference Scotland.” in terms of performance, but That year, because of a that the Institute of Sport boycott by African teams, now faces hard decisions only 27 nations competed, compared to 71 this year. over funding some sports the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

that under-performed at the Games, and that there is still a “conflict” at the centre of the Institute’s priorities. “The Institute is responsible for elite performance, but not mass participation. Often achieving one calls for a completely different approach from the other,” he said. John Greechan in The Scottish Daily Mail said that the Glasgow’s people had succeeded in “giving the Commonwealth a party they’ll remember for some time”. However, he hoped there would also be a sporting legacy “in terms of encouraging kids of all ages to go for a run, a swim, a cycle or a grapple at their nearest club.”

■ Team Australia were left reeling after a succesion of bad news stories. Weighlifter Francois Etoundi (below) was stripped of his Games accreditation after being arrested and admitting an assault on Welsh weightlifter Gareth Evans following a row over Evans’ girlfriend. He was ordered to pay Evans £400 compensation. The brother of boxer Jordan Samaradali admitted assaulting a seven-year-old boy after a row with his father during a bout. And athletics head coach Eric Hollingsworth was sent home after he criticised Olympic hurdles champion Sally Pearson.

Quick FIRE ■ Three security guards were axed after they posed for ‘selfies’ with Usian Bolt. The three were removed from their duties at the Lesser Hampden training facility, but were still employed by the company. Scottish Daily Mail

■ Scots swimming gold medallist Dan Wallace prepared himself for glory as a kid, by basing himself on Superman! He said the action hero had been “my role model.” The Scottish Sun

■ Athletes consumed more than 15,000 bottles of the free Irn-Bru that was on offer at the Athletes’ Village. Sunday Post

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SPORT

good week

QUOTES

Robert Blair

“Awesome.”

The Longniddry-born badminton player won bronze for Scotland in the mixed doubles with Imogen Bankier. He has previously won Commonwealth Games and World Championships for England before switching nationality.

Usain Bolt The Jamaican sprint legend pours praise on the Glasgow Games, after denying that he described them as “a bit s**t.”

Claudia Fragapane

The 16-year-old 4ft 6in English gymnast, dubbed the ‘pocket rocket’, became the first English woman to win four gold medals in a single Games.

■ Scottish bowlers Neil Speirs, Paul Foster, Darren Burnett, Alex Marshall and David Peacock show off their haul of gold medals.

Erraid Davies

The 13-year-old Shetland swimming sensation, who won bronze and the hearts of the nation, had a curry named after her in the local Indian restaurant where she and her family go to celebrate her triumphs.

BAD week

David Rudisha

Kenya’s Olympic 800m champion and hot favourite was pipped to gold in Glasgow by a sprint finish from Nijel Amos of Botswana, who he had beaten into second place in the London Games.

Now bid for Euro 2024 says Tories’ Ruth ■ Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson said the success of the Commonwealth Games could be a catalyst for a bid to host the Euro 2024 football championships. The Scotsman reported the Tories’ suggestions for hosting the 24-team tournament include focusing the contest on Celtic Park, Hampden, Ibrox and

Murrayfield, while upgrading stadiums in Edinburgh, Aberdeen and Dundee and Kilmarnock. Some matches could be staged in England. Glasgow is already bidding to be one of the host cities in the 2020 European championships which will be staged in a unique 60th anniversary touring format across 13 different countries. If it reverts to the normal format of all the matches being played in one nation, Ms Davidson believes Scotland should mount a bid. “We know from the last 10 days or so that Scotland is more than capable of being a superb host,” she said. Her remarks were echoed by Commonwealth games Scotland chairman Mike Cavanagh, who said the country has “shown what it can do” in handling major sporting events.

David Millar

The 37-year-old Scottish gold medallist from the time trial in Delhi could only finish eighth in the event in Glasgow. He hoped to finish the Games on a high in the men’s road race, but in conditions he described as “apocalyptic” he finished eleventh, 10 minutes behind winner Geraint Thomas.

“It’s only natural for your reaction to be like you felt you let people down.” mICHAEL JAMIESON Scots swimmer is still down about his shock defeat to Ross Murdoch

“People ask if I’ll be a true Scotsman. It’s not warm enough to wear with nothing underneath.” Desmond Brown Jamaican team boss on wearing the kilt

“The right girl won. I’m delighted to have come away with a silver medal. There was nothing more I could have done.”

■ Welsh cyclist Geriant Thomas soaks up the acclaim of the crowd as he comes home first in a gruelling men’s road race.

Eilidh Child The Scot was delighted with silver in the 400m hurdles 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT

OFF

THE BALL

■ In a Commonwealth Games-themed show, Stuart and Tam were joined by Scotland’s 400m hurdles silver medallist and Hearts fan Eilidh Child, who explained why she had made the 5-1 gesture during her lap of honour.

Scots clubs left needing a miracle ■ The hopes of all three Scottish clubs in Europe were left hanging by a thread after disappointing first-leg performances. Celtic were left looking for a Murrayfield miracle after they crashed to a 4-1 defeat by Legia Warsaw in their Champions League third round qualifying tie. And they were not able to use the intimidating Parkhead atmosphere to inspire them, as the ground was still not ready after being used for the Commonwealth Games, meaning the second leg would

be played at the home of Scottish rugby. New manager Ronny Deila let rip at his players after their woeful Warsaw performance, accusing them of making “stupid mistakes”, “Worst of all was the commitment, the energy,” he continued. “We didn’t stay together for 90 minutes.” Aberdeen manager Derek McInnes was upbeat about his team’s chances of progressing in the Europa League, despite a 2-0 away defeat to Spanish giants Real Sociedad. The Dons conceded two

second half goals after a stuffy first half display, but failed to register a single shot on target. However, McInnes insisted his team still had a chance to turn the tie round at Pittodrie. “We will have tremendous support at Pittodrie and it is not beyond us,” he said. St Johnstone boss Tommy Wright also tried to stay positive after his side slipped to a 2-1 home defeat to Spartak Trvana. “We have a chance,” he said. “The real St Johnstone have to turn up.”

COMMENTATORS SAY Lennon said that he wasn’t ■ Celtic’s 4-1 thumping in too surprised by what happen Warsaw was bad enough, in Warsaw. but it could have been much, In what was seen as a swipe much worse, wrote David at the club’s board, he told Friel in The Scottish Sun, BBC Radio 5 Live: “I think it who didn’t mince his words might have been on the cards in describing the Scottish because there has been no champions’ performance. investment in the team. “Careless. Sloppy. Slack. “The Champions League Shambolic. Call it whatever is always important. It gives you like. How this finished 4-1 the fans and the players is a mystery. something to really look “Deila has big questions to answer. His set-up was far too forward to. “The club is financially open from the off and Legia healthy and I think they had the players to exploit it.” can maybe take the hit on He said that this was the not making the Champions first big test for new Celtic boss Ronny Deila, but a series League this year.” Aberdeen did as well as they of baffling team selections had meant that “Celtic fans could have expected against were questioning his every such quality opposition, wrote decision.” Chris Crighton in The Press However, speaking to the and Journal. BBC, former manager Neil And although he did not hold the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

out any hope of overturning the two-goal deficit at Pittodrie, he believed the performance would stand them in good stead for the rest of the season. “Abedeen will not play anyone as good as this during their domestic campaign and if Sociedad found it this hard to pick holes in the Dons defence, then Scotland’s clubs will struggle.” The Scottish Sun’s Robert Thomson said that Dave Mackay’s injury time goal has given his team a “fighting chance” in the second leg. However, they would have to seriously improve their performance because “they were second-best to everything in the first half and were lucky that Spartak didn’t run away with the tie.”

■ Listeners were asked for the favourite Games moments. Among Tam’s were Usain Bolt “sookin’ up” to the Hampden crowd and bowler Alex Marshall’s infamous “get it up ye” gesture. ■ There was also a post mortem on the poor performance by the Scottish clubs in Europe.

Saints striker May on bring of move south ■ St Johnstone’s star striker Stevie May appeared to be on the brink of a move to English Chamionship newcomers Rotherham United. But The Courier reported that any move would not happen before the Perth side’s Europa League return leg against Spartak Trnava. The paper said that the English side would have to come up with a bid of £800,000 to prise the prolific striker away from McDiarmid Park. However, manager Tommy Wright was hoping that any move would be delayed to allow May to help turn around the club’s 2-1 deficit in Slovakia.

SPORT

good week

QUOTES

Rory McIlroy

“I’ll be giving it my all in the next few weeks.”

The Open Champion said that his recent rise to World Number One was made in Scotland. After winning the WGC Championship at Firestone, he said the key to his resurgence was the new faith in his driver he found while playing in the Scottish Open at Royal Aberdeen.

Stephen Gallacher The Scot is determined to win a place in the Ryder Cup side

It’s my responsibility. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough in telling the players what I expected

Denny Johnstone

The Celtic Under-19 striker signed for Birmingham City on a three-year contract. He said that “feeling wanted” was the key to his decision to leave.

■ Chris Robb from Meldrum House won the Scottish Amateur Championship with a 4&3 victory over Graeme Robertson at the Downfield club in Dundee.

HEADLINES

Chris Burke

The 30-year-old Scotland winger and former Rangers star signed for Nottingham Forest on a Bosman free transfer after rejecting a new deal at Birmingham City. He now hopes to get into the Premier League at the seventh attempt.

Naismith gesture is just the ticket for jobless

BAD week Nadir Ciftci

Dundee United’s Turkish striker was fined £360 after admitting to driving at 97mph. He had picked up the keys to his new Mercedes C-series shortly before he was caught speeding on the M90 Perth to Inverkeithing road.

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■ Everton’s Scotland international striker Steven Naismith is donating match tickets to the homeless in Liverpool. The 27-year-old former Rangers star announced that he will buy tickets throughout the season that will be distributed to Jobcentres throughout the city and given to people trying to get a job. He said: “Hopefully this can boost their morale and show there are rewards for the hard work they’re doing.”

Ronny Deila The Celtic manager takes the blame for his side’s catastrophic 4-1 loss to Legia Warsaw.

FOOTBALL: The SFA’s former head of referee development, Hugh Dallas, has been appointed head of refereeing in Greece’s Superleague. He will try to improve the reputation of Greek whistlers, which has been tarnished by corruption and match-fixing claims. FOOTBALL: Celtic Chief Executive Peter Lawwell and Ralph Topping, chairman of the Scottish Professional Football League, were appointed to the main board of the Scottish FA after they were nominated by the Professional Game Board. SHINTY: Kingussie beat local rivals and champions Newtonmore 3-2 in the Orion Premiership with goals from Borthwick, Ross and Munro. Kingussie’s next game is against Fort William in the semi-final of the Camanachd Cup.

“I really enjoy working with her. She’s helped me a lot.” Andy murray The tennis star confirms that his arrangement with new coach Amelie Mauresmo is permanent

“The main thing is winning. Getting that mentality again. We can feel it coming back.” Darren Fletcher The Scotland and Man Utd midfielder can already see signs of improvement under Louis van Gaal

Effie Ambrose

Just four days after being sent off in Celtic’s 4-1 Champions League defeat in Warsaw, the Nigerian stopper saw red again as an inexperienced Celtic side crashed 6-1 to Tottenham Hotspur in a friendly played in Helsinki.

■ Rangers Bilel Mohsni was red carded for head-butting Derby’s Chris Martin in a pre-season friendly. He received a two-game ban. 9 August 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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COMMENT

FRED SAID Comedian, broadcaster and presenter

FRED MACAULAY

Comedy legends’ hard work stripped bare in Soho Making it look easy can be really difficult, says Fred

■ Over the years I’ve had some amazing guests visit the radio studios. Occasionally the BBC Press Office will send a photographer to mark the occasion. I tend not to make a big issue of it. You try to look “pally” in the photos, but rarely are you actually friends. I’ve got a photo of myself with Victoria Beckham somewhere but it’s lost in the archives, much to her chagrin, I expect. I make an exception with this photo though which needs no introduction... but in case it does, it’s me with Frank Skinner and Eddie Izzard, my first two guests on this year’s run of radio shows from The Edinburgh Fringe. Two brilliant comedians, both very different, and from a punter’s view, able to create

Clarifications and corrections The Stooshie is committed to journalism of the highest standards and we aim to produce our magazine with accuracy, honesty and fairness. Our journalists adhere to the DC Thomson company values of integrity, respect, commitment and creativity. We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice which is enforced by the Press Complaints Commission. It is our policy to publish clarifications and corrections when necessary and as quickly as possible. You can contact us by email at: editor@thestooshie.co.uk or by writing to: The Readers’ Editor, The Stooshie, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee DD4 8SL.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

comedy with apparent ease. Let me tell you, it’s nothing of the sort. The groundwork they put in has paid off. They MC’d different comedy clubs on a weekly basis facing the same audiences week in, week out. Frank wrote material all week for his gig, Eddie learned and honed his improvisational skills to become the brilliant and unique act that he is today. Eddie also used to run a comedy club called “Raging Bull” at midnight on a Saturday in the Raymond Review Bar in Soho. Everything else in that venue was striptease and there were odd gigs where we comedians would take to the stage to be stared at by a couple of dozen male Japanese tourists who could scarcely conceal their disappointment at being at the wrong show.

Boxing clever? ■ This will be my final Commonwealth Games story. Maybe. As the athletes, officials and Clydesiders were preparing for the closing ceremony, I was invited to go to the village to entertain them. The weather was mixed that day, one minute sunshine, next a violent rainstorm. I was scheduled to perform at 3:30pm and it was absolutely chucking it down, so I was moved to the bar area. It looked like it might be a difficult gig... enjoying the postcompetition hospitality were some Scottish boxers. They weren’t too rowdy and in view of the medals they’d won I wouldn’t grudge them a pint or two. I tried a specifically boxing line: “Hey lads, what’s the difference between you and your opponents? They got hammered earlier this week!” Nothing. Not even a break in their own banter at the bar. Then suddenly they downed their glasses and headed for the door. ”Are you leaving?” I asked one of them from my small stage area. ”Aye, we’ve been asked to go” (looking me straight in the eye) “apparently there’s a comedian on and none of the others can hear him.”

Information about the Code of Practice can be obtained from The Press Complaints Commission at Halton House, 20/23 High Holborn, London EC1N 2JD or email complaints@pcc.org.uk or call 0845 6002757 or 0207 8310022. Published in Great Britain by D.C. Thomson & Co. Ltd, 185 Fleet Street, London, EC4A 2HS. © D. C. Thomson & Co., Ltd, 2014. Distributed by Marketforce, Blue Fin Building, 110 Southwark Street, London, SE1 0SU. Tel: +44(0) 20 3148 3300 Fax: +44(0) 20 3148 8105 Website: www. marketforce.co.uk

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