Stooshie Issue 4 Published June 14 2014

June 14 issue no.4 ❘ £2.50

W NE NE ZI GA MA

the

‘My comedy hero’

Stooshie Fred MacAulay on Rik Mayall

T h e b e s t o f S c ott i s h m e d i a – n e w s

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opinion

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d e bat e

100, 99, 98, 97, 96 days and counting

Scotland in days

Should we stay or should we Le-go?

The party’s started

Obama cares

So why are we in the kitchen?

President sparks outrage and delight

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14-Jun-14

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Bricking it: Lego is a no-go for Better Together

100 days to go...

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World Cup: plump up the cushions and settle in

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Boffins: Star Trek not just science fiction...

Stooshie Editor’s Round-up: That was the week that was

Welcome to the latest issue of The Stooshie, the magazine that brings you the pick of the news across Scotland.

In the week the World Cup started in Brazil, we kicked off by sourcing the best stories from across Scotland’s media, tackled the issues that matter thanks to Scotland’s best columnists and bloggers, and carried out in-depth analysis that Alan Hansen would be proud of.

There are now less than 100 days to go until the independence referendum, and both the Yes and No camps have stepped up their bids to secure our votes. Indeed, this week world leaders from past and present joined the debate. US President Barack Obama and former Prime Minister Gordon Brown gave their backing to the No campaign with varying degrees of success, while even North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il was mentioned in despatches.

Some might think persuading the people of Scotland to vote Yes or No would be child’s play but, as we also found out this week, using Lego to curry favour doesn’t work. Just ask the UK government.

We’ve also got sumo babies, the rights and wrongs of flag ‘stunts’, all the latest sport and business, and Fred MacAulay mourns the loss of one of his comedy idols.

Read, digest and enjoy!

SCOTTISH WORD OF THE WEEK

blooter noun ❘ blu:t ❘ e

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Winds of change in the Great Glen?

1. Hit or kick (something) hard and wildly.

2. A babbler, a bumbling idiot, a fool, a drunkard.

Usage: “Izaguirre blootered the ball into a sensitive area...” (p43) “Look at her, she’s totally blootered.”

We REally like...

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Naked ambition: New Celtic boss settles into hotseat

Contact the Stooshie Mail:

The Stooshie, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee DD4 8SL

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editor@thestooshie.co.uk

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■ Busker Jim Ward has driven staff at Better Together’s Glasgow HQ to distraction with his playing. But his choice of reading material is spot on.

Editor-in-chief: Richard Neville Editor: Steve Bargeton Deputy editor: Catriona MacInnes Art director: Aileen Wilkie Content manager: Rory Weller Editorial: Craig Smith, Stefan Morkis Contributors: Brian Donaldson, Robert McNeil, Jonathan Trew, James Williamson, Graham Huband

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4 l news

MAIN EVENTS

Obama cares: president’s Scottish intervention US president Barack Obama backs United Kingdom and outrages Yes supporters ■ The language may have been diplomatically guarded, but President Barack Obama has made it clear that he believes Scotland should remain part of the United Kingdom.

Asked about the referendum at a Brussels press conference, Mr Obama said that although the vote is for the “folks” who live here, he wants the UK to remain “strong, robust, united and effective” and that he believes the Union has worked “pretty well”.

His intervention, allegedly made at the behest of the

UK government, was seen as a major boost to the Better Together campaign and broke with tradition by directly commenting on the domestic affairs of the UK. First Minister Alex Salmond responded by using Mr Obama’s campaign slogan, saying: “Our message is ‘Yes We Can.’” Mr Obama’s intervention provoked a storm of comments online. Many in the Yes camp said he should “keep his nose out”. One even described him as an “Uncle Tom”.

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

President Obama could have kept his own counsel on the independence referendum, instead he made the “most unexpected and spectacular international intervention “in the debate so far,” said The Herald.

The paper said that although Mr Obama had chosen his words carefully, the “implied support” for the Union was clear.

But it said while Mr Obama’s intervention may remind voters of the uncertainty over security in an independent Scotland, it is “less certain” whether it will influence the vote, even if those questions about “Scotland’s place in the world, its influence and its security remain unanswered”.

According to the Daily Record, Mr Obama’s argument was “persuasive” and a “stark reminder” of the importance of September’s vote.

But the paper also reminded readers that he will be considering “what he thinks is best for the US, not the interests of Scotland”.

While he may not have a vote, Mr Obama “certainly has a voice,” according to The Scottish Daily Mirror.

It said his comments were “a heavy blow for the separatists and manna from heaven for the Better Together campaign” and that the President’s intervention has “pulled a rug from under Alex Salmond’s feet”. The Press and Journal said his words will “be spun by both sides”.

While there was delight in the No camp after President Obama’s intervention, Hamish Macdonell doubted whether it would really be a gamechanger in The Times.

He said that Mr Obama is “no longer the galvanising force for change and hope he once was” and that many will just “dismiss him as another politician”.

But he said while Mr Obama’s impact on the September vote may be slight, he has “added to the mood music”.

In fact, he said that by commenting from the “position of an outsider” he has helped remind those “embroiled” in the debate of the “bigger picture”. And he added that even “the most ardent Nationalist” would agree it is important “to ‘see ourselves as ithers see us’.”

Mr Obama’s intervention was greeted as “undoubtedly one of the best bits of news that the opponents of separation could have wished for” by Alan Cochrane in The Daily Telegraph.

But others thought Mr Obama’s comments on the UK remaining in the European Union were more important.

Writing in The Scottish Sun, Professor Michael Keating said: “He chose his words very carefully. And he did agree it was up to the people of Scotland”.

Will tram inquiry be knocked off track?

Judge-led public inquiry into £776 million tram fiasco has no power to demand key figures give evidence ■ After six long years, Edinburgh’s trams are finally up and running.

First Minister Alex Salmond has now announced a judge-led inquiry into what when wrong with the project, which ran wildly over budget and was subject to lengthy delays.

However, as the inquiry will the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

be non-statutory, it will have no power to compel anyone involved in the ill-fated scheme to give evidence.

This means that Edinburgh council bosses, representatives of German contractors Bilfinger Berger and Transport Initiative Edinburgh, set up to deliver the project, could refuse to take part.

EDITORIALS SAY There was a “huge sigh of relief” when Edinburgh’s trams finally started running, said The Scotsman, even if it is too much to call the single line a “network”.

But the paper said that while a judge-led inquiry will be “quicker and less costly” than a “full-blown public inquiry” it asked if the public is really best served by spending “hundreds of thousands of pounds” on the inquiry now that the trams are finally operational.

Instead, it said that after “six

MAIN EVENTS

Brickbats for UK Government in Lego row Attempt to illustrate £1,400 union dividend with Lego toy story backfires ■ Most Lego injuries occur when an unsuspecting parent steps on one of the plastic building blocks.

But the UK Government’s decision to use Lego to illustrated how Scots could spend their £1400 “union dividend” was a rather more spectacular incident of a Lego-inspired self-harm.

The 12 images included suggestions that the money could allow Scots to “scoff 280 hotdogs at the Edinburgh Festival” or to “share a meal of fish and chips with your family every day for around 19 weeks, with a couple of portions of mushy peas thrown in”.

The supposedly humorous images were posted on internet site BuzzFeed and were met with almost instant derision.

Critics said the images were patronising, misleading and offensively stereotypical.

Lego then heaped more embarrassment on the UK government by demanding they withdraw the images as they conflicted with the toymaker’s “neutral stance”.

years of roadworks”, it is time Edinburgh concentrates on “boosting its tourist trade” rather than looking backwards.

Ultimately, The Scotsman decided “the inquiry will achieve nothing except wasting more public money”.

Sister paper the Edinburgh Evening News said that although a non-statutory inquiry, “a host of key figures from the tram saga” are expected to give evidence.

It said the inquiry will give “a clear account of the tram saga” and provide recommendations for its future development.

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

Many people were outraged at the Treasury’s hamfisted attempts to use Lego to illustrate the benefits of remaining in the Union.

The Scotsman admitted the images were “patronising” but were intended to be lighthearted.

However, the paper said the “reference to mushy peas with fish and chips” was most revealing.

It said this culinary delight is associated with the north of England rather than Scotland and it was “very London” to lump the two regions together.

“Illustrate it,” the paper recommended, “with a small Lego figure limping off with a gunshot wound to the foot”.

The Scottish Daily Mail said the Treasury did not need “a condescending campaign fronted by children’s toys” to expose “separatists’ fantasy figures”.

Meanwhile, The Scottish Sun described the Lego images as “spectacularly misguided”.

The Lego illustrations were a clear sign that the campaign to keep Scotland in the United Kingdom is changing tack, suggested Rod Liddle in The Sunday Times.

Instead of being “bullying and patronising”, he said, it will now be “patronising and bullying”.

Liddle said the article was “insulting” and “muttonheaded” and that although he would be sad to see Scotland leave the UK, if he lived here he would be tempted to vote Yes because of the poverty of the No campaign.

The Lego article was also pulled apart overseas.

The Washington Post’s Adam Taylor said many Scots feel “ignored” or “ridiculed as England’s poorer, weaker, less sophisticated neighbour”.

He added: “Using Lego to show how a Scottish person can buy fish and chips seems to confirm that view.”

COMMENTATORS SAY

politicians will be relieved the inquiry will not begin until after September 18, he wondered if anyone involved in the farrago will emerge “unscathed” from the inquiry.

He added that SNP ministers may also be asked to explain why they removed Transport Scotland’s “expertise” from the project after ploughing an additional £500 million into the scheme.

Academics Olivier Sykes, Mark Smith and Xavier Desjardins wrote on The Conversation that the tram system may eventually prove to have been worth all the upheaval and cost.

As they cost every taxpayer in Edinburgh £1800, the Sunday Herald’s Agenda column said the trams could not be described as “value for money” but said they do provide “a smooth and comfortable ride”.

The column also welcomed plans to introduce wi-fi onto carriages.

At the Edinburgh Evening News, political editor Ian Swanson said the tram project had ultimately become “a source of embarrassment”.

And he said while many

news l 5 on the bright side ■ A TV advert featuring energy drink Nae Danger was pulled despite receiving no complaints, reported The Scottish Sun. The ad featured a BMX biker character called ‘Boaby’ who failed to leap over the drink before saying to himself: “This is your big chance – just dinnae blaw it. Everybody’s gonnae be chokin’ for a bit o’ Boaby efter.”

STV chiefs didn’t air it again.

■ Drivers probably didn’t see the funny side at the time, but a man dressed only in tartan boxer shorts managed to bring the M8 motorway to a standstill.

The man was spotted wandering along the M8’s eastbound stretch near junction five at Shotts at around 6.55am.

Emergency services were called and the man was detained by police, although pictures of his escapades had already been posted on Facebook and Twitter – giving the rest of the nation a chuckle.

■ A group of Scots roller skaters have taken the world of Roller Derby by storm, according to The Herald.

The ‘Irn Bruisers’ beat America’s best at a tournament in Fort Wayne, Indiana, to improve their world ranking.

■ Ambulances in Scotland are to stay white despite a bid to turn the vehicles yellow across Europe.

The Times’ Hamish Macdonell reported that EU bureaucrats have decided that the colour of ambulances should be “harmonised” to ensure that, if there was a major incident and ambulances had to be brought in from neighbouring states, they should all look the same.

However, the Scots have rejected the notion.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

6 l news

POLITICS

100 days and counting – referendum into home stretch Unionist parties offer more powers as independence campaign enters final 100 days.

indy BRIEFS 1. Harry Potter author JK Rowling said she wants Scotland to remain part of the UK and has made a substantial donation, said to be £1 million, to Better Together.

2. Former Royal Navy chief Lord West has said Scottish independence is the greatest “strategic threat” to the UK. 3. A new survey has found that just 21% of people in England want Scotland to leave the UK.

■ The campaign for Scottish independence entered its final stretch this week.

Monday marked 100 days until September 18, the date Scotland will go to the polls to determine its constitutional future.

Both Yes Scotland and Better Together marked milestone with high-profile events.

Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon chaired a woman’s cabinet event in Edinburgh while Better Together launched their 100 Days to Go campaign in Glasgow.

Better Together maintains its lead in the polls but First Minister Alex Salmond has said he is confident Yes can secure victory.

Unionist parties are in talks to produce a cross-party agreement on transferring more powers to the Scottish Parliament in a bid to convince voters there will be more devolution after a No vote. Mr Salmond said the parties “had form” in not delivering on similar promises in the past.

COMMENTATORS SAY It has been a long and winding road to the referendum but the Daily Record said for many people the overriding feeling will be one of “relief” once the campaign is over.

It said that in the three years since the SNP’s landslide victory in 2011, Alex Salmond “has not made a compelling enough case to convince us to break the 307-year-old union” and that he has only 100 days “left to do so”.

Writing in The Scotsman, Lesley Riddoch said Yes Scotland could be pushed towards victory by grassroots campaigners or, as she described it, “the great imponderable” of the referendum. By comparison, she said Better Together relies on “the opinion of the great and the good”.

But her fellow Scotsman columnist Brian Monteith disagreed.

He said all the momentum is

now with Better Together while Yes Scotland has no cards left to play other than “a ‘good’ Commonwealth Games and a Bannockburn anniversary”.

The Scottish Sun said voters need hard facts rather than “the propaganda carrots and sticks trotted out by both sides”.

Political editor Andrew Nicoll said voting one way or another will not make Scotland wealthier, individually or collectively. Instead, he told readers to “vote for the country you want and then fight to make it”.

The three unionist parties now agree “Holyrood must have more powers and be more accountable for them”, said The Herald.

And while it noted a joint statement “does not take us much further forward” it said it makes it harder for the next UK government to “backtrack” on this promise “without sustaining significant political damage”.

Voters have often been left “baffled” by the debate, said The Scottish Daily Mail. It warned there is now a real danger of voter apathy” setting in but the paper added it remains “proud” to support the Union.

4. Alistair Darling has refused to apologise for saying Alex Salmond’s criticism of the BBC’s European election coverage was like “something Kim Jong-Il would say”.

5. Nobel prize winner Sir Paul Nurse has said research into diseases that relies on UK funding could be disrupted by Scottish independence.

6. Alistair Darling has urged Scotland’s “quiet majority” to say “no thanks” to independence. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

“He said people voted UKIP in Scotland because English TV was being beamed into Scotland.

This was a North Korean response. This is something that Kim JongIl would say.”

“The United Kingdom has been an extraordinary partner to us. From the outside at least, it looks like things have worked pretty well.”

Alistair Darling,

Barack Obama,

Better Together leader

US President

POLITICS

news l 7

Brown opens new front for No campaign

Gove apologises to May ■ UK Government Education Secretary Michael Gove was forced to apologise after a bitter public row with Home Secretary Theresa May over an alleged plot by hardline Islamists to take over some Birmingham secondary schools.

Sources close to Scottish-born Mr Gove told The Times that the Home Office had failed to “drain the swamp” of terrorism.

In response, the Home Office leaked a letter Ms May wrote to Mr Gove about the Birmingham schools in 2010, effectively accusing him of failing to take appropriate action.

Theresa May’s special adviser Fiona Cunningham has been forced to stand down for leaking the letter.

Downing Street announced the disciplinary action after David Cameron received the findings of an investigation into the row by Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood.

Education watchdog Ofsted has said a number of schools were targeted in the plot.

Sir Michael Wilshaw said “a culture of fear and intimidation has taken grip” and that there had been deliberate attempts to change the ethos of schools so they promoted Islamic extremism.

as it is believed he appeals to Scottish Labour voters.

The SNP said Brown’s comments were “a huge ■ Former Prime Minister embarrassment” to Alistair Gordon Brown has said he Darling, who has said he believes David Cameron should debate the First should debate Alex Salmond Minister. before the independence And while Mr Brown’s referendum. tenure as Prime Minister However, the Kirkcaldy MP’s could never be called an call was dismissed by the unqualified success, he has Better Together campaign, received support from an with one Labour insider unlikely source. telling The Daily Telegraph In her autobiography, former his intervention was “bloody US secretary of state Hillary unhelpful”.

Clinton said Mr Brown was Mr Brown has been urged “dealt a bad hand” which to take on a higher profile role included Tony Blair’s support in the battle to save the Union for the Iraq war.

indy BRIEFS 1. Alex Salmond has said he will stand again for First Minister in 2016, even if he loses the referendum. He told the Daily Record he intends to run again.

2. Taggart star Alex Norton has said he is backing a Yes vote, calling it a “once in a lifetime” opportunity.

All Pat Lally’s bairns?

John Hewitt blamed for Blair

■ A Clydebank mother-oftwo has hit out at the Scottish Government after a senior special advisor briefed against her to The Daily Telegraph.

Clare Lally spoke at a Better Together event about her belief that remaining in the Union will be best for her twin daughters, one of whom has cerebral palsy.

Special advisor Campbell Gunn then contacted the newspaper to say she was former Glasgow Labour Lord Provost Pat Kelly’s daughter-inlaw, which was untrue.

■ Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has said Aberdeen’s 1983 European Cup Winners’ Cup success may be responsible for his political career.

Sir Alex Ferguson’s Dons side beat Real Madrid 2-1 in extra time, with John Hewitt netting the winner, to claim the trophy.

Then a 31-year-old lawyer, Mr Blair watched the match with John Burton, the secretary of Labour’s Trimdon Village branch. Mr Blair said had they not watched the game together he may not have been selected as a parliamentary candidate.

“Yes we have got enough time – it is not the time that is the issue.

It is winning the arguments, winning the discussion.”

“The measure of your commitment to Scotland isn’t about flag-waving or how many tweets you send. It’s about acting in the best interests of your country.”

“Countries can be lost by mistake.”

Alex Salmond,

Lord Reid,

Gordon Brown,

First Minister

Former Defence Secretary

Former Prime Minister

3. A survey of more than 1,000 oil and gas workers found 64% are likely to vote Yes in September.

4. Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon has said independence will benefit women more than staying in the Union.

5. The Green Party has said independence offers Scotland the chance to become a greener and fairer country.

6. Former SSP leader and Yes campaigner Tommy Sheridan is to launch an appeal against his conviction for perjury with the Scottish Criminal Cases Review Commission.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

8 l xxxxx

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SEVEN BY SEVEN

news l 9

Sumo generation – what’s being done about childhood obesity?

SEVEN QUESTIONS YOU REALLY WANT TO ASK 1. Sumo sounds insulting. What’s the deal?

Don’t blame us. The term is bandied about by both experts and the press to describe the growing number of babies weighing around 12lb or more. Indeed, we’re now seeing the birth of babies that weigh more than a stone.

According to Tam Fry of the National Obesity Forum: “The first sumo babies were being reported in 1966 and the numbers have been growing very steadily, but really started to escalate in the last decade.”

2. Heavy stuff. What’s being done?

The Scottish Daily Mail reported that medical researchers in Edinburgh, Liverpool, Coventry and Sheffield were carrying out trials of the diabetes drug metformin, which lowers insulin levels.

The hope is that it could also reduce levels of sugar reaching babies through the placenta.

3. What about older kids? Hasn’t their diet been causing problems too?

Sure has, at least in many cases. And you’ll be glad to know that the Scottish Government has been on the case. As The Scotsman reported, it has launched a Beyond the School Gate scheme that aims to discourage pupils from eating junk food on their lunch break.

4. That’ll learn the little blighters.

How does it work?

Well, according to The Herald, it encourages shopkeepers to think about the food they’re selling to youngsters. They’re being asked to steer pupils away from deep-fried foods and sugary drinks, particularly those included in bargain ‘meal deals’.

The Government wants shopkeepers to promote sandwiches, soups and salads instead, along with fruit juice or reduced-fat milk.

It’s also offering tips on how to increase the sale of healthier foods.

As for the kids themselves, the plan is to encourage them to stay on school premises at lunchtime, which could be done through

Sumo IN NUMBERS

3.3kg

(7lb 4oz) average weight for a newborn girl in Britain.

3.5kg

(7lb 8oz) average weight for a newborn boy in Britain.

6.6kg

(14lb 8oz) weight of heaviest baby born in Scotland (2011).

6,466

Number of babies more than 10lb born to Scots mothers between 2002 and 2012.

38

English maternity units delivered so-called sumo babies last year.

2

English units delivered babies weighing more than 14lb.

70%

Of young people surveyed in Scotland who had at least four food outlets near their school.

offering better school cafes with more appealing food and drink.

5. Good luck with the salad. Health experts will be jumping for joy. Correct?

Incorrect. Well, not when you combine health expert with opposition politician. Green MSP Alison Johnstone has described the initiative as “disappointing”, with an allegedly narrow focus on inviting retailers to consider what they might do.

She told The Herald: “I want to see local communities, schools and food outlets given real support to improve the health of young people and that requires funding and political will rather than voluntary schemes that can be ignored.”

6. Oh well, healthy debate is good. Anyone not moaning?

Sure. John Drummond, of the Scottish Grocers’ Federation, said the approach was already having an impact on communities and that it showed “the highly active role that retailers play in offering healthy eating choices and promoting healthy foods, particularly fresh fruit and vegetables”.

Peter Johnston, health and wellbeing spokesman for the Convention of Scottish Local Authorities, also backed the scheme, saying councils had done much to improve food offered in schools and were “working hard to encourage more pupils to take advantage of this more often”.

7. Getting back to sumo babies, aren’t they the responsibility of the mothers?

Pretty much. As Mr Fry of the National Obesity Forum said of the phenomenon: “It is a direct consequence of women going into pregnancy overweight.”

So, it seems like as much health education needs aiming at adults as at children, and that the problem does indeed lie Beyond the School Gate.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

10 l news

AROUND SCOTLAND

1 HIGHLANDS & ISLANDS Flash man in library

Police are hunting a suspected flasher who exposed himself in an Inverness library.

A photograph of the man reading a newspaper with his genitals exposed was posted on Facebook by one witness.

Police Scotland are trying to trace the man.

New life for castle as court faces eviction notice

Talks are underway to transfer Inverness Sheriff Court from the city’s castle so the building can become a tourist attraction.

Highland Council has begun discussions with the Scottish Court Service and the Scottish Futures Trust about finding new premises for the Sheriff and Justice of the Peace Courts.

The Scottish Court Service has said it will be willing to move but only if funding can be found to build a new court in Inverness. The council believes a new use for the castle (right) will help regenerate the city centre.

2 GLASGOW & WEST Prisoners in own homes

Residents living near one of the main Commonwealth Games venues say they are being treated like prisoners because of over-zealous security measures.

An eight-foot tall fence has been built around much of the area surrounding the Emirates Arena (below), home to the Sir Chris Hoy Velodrome.

Residents say they have been “barricaded” in their homes as the fence is blocking local access. They have also been told they cannot park their cars in front of their homes.

The worst affected areas are between Springfield Road between the Emirates Arena and the Athletes’ Village and Baltic Street.

Pope’s day trip to Glasgow?

Pope Francis has been invited to Glasgow to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the martyrdom of St John Ogilvie, who was executed at Glasgow Cross on March 10, 1615.

Archbishop Philip Tartaglia has written to the Pontiff inviting him to come to Scotland for the event.

If Pope Francis does accept, it will be only the third papal visit to Glasgow.

St John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI both held masses at Bellahouston Park in 1982 and 2010 respectively.

Over 70,000 people attended the 2010 event.

It included performances by singers Susan Boyle and Michelle McManus.

1

5

Health chiefs’ apology

Bosses at NHS Greater Glasgow have apologised after some patients were made to wait up to 48 hours on trolleys due to “a surge” in admissions at the Victoria Infirmary.

Managers said there was an “unacceptable” length of stay for some patients caused by a 24% rise in accident and emergency admissions.

2 3

3 SOUTH SCOTLAND One house is enough

Trustees at Abbotsford House, the former home of Sir Walter Scott, have said they will fight any plans to build housing near the historic site.

There have been two public inquiries about building at Netherbarns – which sits over the the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

River Tweed from Abbotsford House.

Both times plans were thrown out due to their proximity to Abbotsford House but Scottish Borders Council’s new draft local development plan sees the area zoned for up to 45 homes or a new school.

Crimewatch appeal for curler’s medal

Curler Rhona Martin (right) has filmed an appeal for Crimewatch for the return of her Olympic gold medal.

The curler, who has reverted to her maiden name Howie since her divorce, won the medal at the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics in 2002.

It one of a number of items stolen following a raid on Dumfries Museum in April.

Curling memorabilia worth a total of £34,000 was taken.

news l 11

AROUND SCOTLAND 4 NORTH EAST, ORKNEY & SHETLAND

Taxpayers’ private school bill

Staffing crisis in accident and emergency

Consultants at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary have said they fear they will be unable to resuscitate some patients or provide “safe” levels of care because of a shortage of senior doctors.

The number of senior medics has fallen from 10 last August to just two today.

A report from A&E consultants at the hospital said they now fear they will be unable to resuscitate the most seriously ill or injured patients.

NHS Grampian has said a recruitment drive is underway to bring staffing levels back up and that “appropriate medical cover” is “of key importance”.

But it has now ordered an independent review of quality of care at the hospital to be carried out.

Braced for Big Weekend

5 TAYSIDE & CENTRAL

4

Taxpayers in Aberdeen face a £220,000 bill after a private school was closed down over welfare concerns.

Aberdeen City Council chiefs were forced to re-open a mothballed primary to cater for 120 children after the Hamilton School was shut.

The bill for bringing Braeside Primary back into use and running costs for 2013/14 was £93,000 and the estimated costs for 2014/15 are £130,000.

Final preparations are underway for the Big Drivers could lose licence on a single trip Weekend in Stirling.

Motorists could lost their driving licence on a single journey on the Taking place on June 27 A9 between Perth and Inverness. to 29, the event will feature Transport Scotland has said motorists will be fined £100 and have Pipefest on June 27 before their licences endorsed with three points each time they are flashed the national Armed Forces by an average speed camera in one of the eight enforcement zones Day celebrations take place on the road. on Saturday June 28.

Anyone who is caught Celebrations marking the exceeding the speed limit – 700th anniversary of the 60mph for cars and 50mph for Battle of Bannockburn will lorries – in four zones would rack also take place, although up 12 penalty points, enough for ticket sales have been them to lose their licence. sluggish.

Campaigners claimed the threat Thousands of people are may increase the likelihood of expected to visit Stirling to accidents on the road because take part in the celebrations. drivers will be more concerned It will be the sixth national with watching their speed than Armed Forces Day but only the second held in Scotland. they are the road.

6 EDINBURGH, FIFE & EAST 6

Million pound raid

An armed gang made off with jewellery worth more than £1 million after a raid on an Edinburgh store.

Staff were threatened with knives during the raid on Hamilton and Inches on George Street.

Three men were involved, with a fourth man driving a white BMW getaway car. The vehicle was later abandoned.

A full inventory is being carried out to determine what was stolen but early estimates put the value of the haul at more than £1 million.

Poster boy’s ear chewed off by lederhosen-clad man in St Andrews

A businessman wearing lederhosen bit a former World Strongest Man finalist’s ear off after an Oktoberfest event in St Andrews.

Emanuele Ferrero de Gubernatis Ventimiglia bit into Jamie Barr’s left ear when he intervened in a row between Ventimiglia and his girlfriend.

Mr Barr had been working at St Andrews University’ Charity Oktoberfest party last March when he tried to stop Ventimiglia from getting into a taxi with his dirndl-wearing girlfriend after the pair publicly argued.

Despite admitting biting off Mr Barr’s ear Ventimiglia, who is understood to be a descendant of Fiat founder Alfonso Ferrero de Gubernatis Ventimiglia, walked free after his trial at Kirkcaldy Sheriff Court after a jury found he had acted in self-defence.

Blaze on board supercarrier Fire crews were called out after a blaze broke out on board £3.1 billion aircraft carrier being built at Rosyth.

The Queen Elizabeth class aircraft carrier is being assembled at the Rosyth docks (right). Firefighters took two hours to quell the flames. It is thought the fire started when insulation material caught alight.

HMS Queen Elizabeth is due to be named by the Queen on Friday July 4.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

12 l news

AROUND BRITAIN

1 NORTHERN IRELAND

2 NORTH ENGLAND

Queen plans visit to NI

Police chief probe

Cumbrian gull study

Police failing discrimination test

The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh will visit Northern Ireland for the first time since 2012 when she shook hands with Deputy First Minister, Martin McGuinness (below).

The meeting was seen as a symbol of the peace process.

Northern Ireland’s chief constable Matt Baggott is being taken to court over claims he obstructed investigations into allegations against the police in 60 murder cases.

Police ombudsman Michael Maguire said the obstruction is making it impossible to investigate claims of criminal activity and misconduct.

Gulls in Cumbria are being fitted with tracking devices so scientists can learn if wind farms disrupt their normal flight patterns.

Birds at South Walney nature reserve are being fitted with GPS trackers so the British Trust for Ornithology can track their movements.

Each device weighs about 15 grams and is attached with a harness.

Greater Manchester and West Yorkshire police are failing to respond to complaints of discrimination properly.

Independent Police Complaints Commission chair Dame Anne Owers (right) said complaints are “handled poorly” due to training issues.

3 MIDLANDS & EAST Councillors to declare Masonic ties

1

Derbyshire County Council has ruled that all councillors must declare if they are members of organisations such as the Freemasons.

The Labour-led council said the move will increase transparency but Conservatives said the move was motivated by prejudice.

Leader Barry Lewis compared the situation to that of ANC members under apartheid in South Africa.

2

4 WALES

FA must do more

Welsh UKIP MEP faces hypocrisy claims Wales’ new UKIP MEP has been branded a hypocrite after it emerged he employed dozens of Filipino and East Europeans in a care company that provided services to Hull City Council. But Nathan Gill has denied the accusation from Labour MP Peter Hain. He said UKIP is not opposed to all immigration, it just wants to limit the numbers of people coming to the UK.

The family of former West Bromwich Albion and England striker Jeff Astle have accused the Football Association of letting down players by refusing to investigate the health implications of heading the ball.

Astle’s daughter Dawn is calling for an investigation after it was confirmed her father died as a result of an illness caused by repeatedly heading the ball. He was just 59 when he died in 2002.

3 4

Da Vinci heads back to Wales Filming on the third series of supernatural television series Da Vinici’s Demons will begin in Wales later this month. Set in Renaissance Italy, the show focuses on the early years of Leonardo da Vinci. It will be filmed in the Swansea, Neath and Port Talbot areas. In recent years programmes and movies like Doctor Who and Harry Potter have been filmed in Wales.

5 SOUTH WEST ENGLAND Dyson bags a double Plans to double the size of vacuum manufacturer Dyson’s research centre in Wiltshire have been approved by councillors.

The company, which was founded 20 years ago, says the £250 million expansion of its Malmesbury headquarters will create around 3,000 new jobs. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

5

6

6 LONDON & SOUTH EAST Brixton scares Selfridges

Baby feed horror

A financial consultant who ordered a Mulberry bag from department store Selfridges was told they would not deliver it to her swanky Brixton home because the area is “too risky”.

Leila Deswani (22) was told the store would not deliver the £450 bag because her two-bedroom flat in the multimillion pound Oval Quarter development was in a “risky postcode”.

The head of company that manufactured hospital baby feed linked to the death of one baby and illness in 17 others has said she is “saddened” by the tragedy.

ITH Pharma managing director Karen Hamling said the company is fully co-operating with an investigation by health officials.

The baby died from blood poisoning at St Thomas’ Hospital in south London caused by a suspected contaminated drip.

PEOPLE

news l 13

Attacked due to accent ■ A pregnant woman was jailed for two years after violently attacking a stranger in the street because of her Scottish accent, reported the Scottish Daily Mail’s Lizzie Edwards.

Kaily Amess (22) assaulted Glaswegian Wendy Barbour (44) as she talked to her daughter on the phone in South Shields.

Different wavelength ■ Cost-cutting at the BBC saw DJ Edith Bowman axed from Radio 1 after 11 years at the station.

Fellow Scot Ally McCrae, who previously presented BBC Introducing, was also ditched in a major shake-up.

Marriage up in smoke ■ A disgusted wife told how her estranged husband moved into their garden shed in Fife before setting all her clothes and Christmas presents on fire.

Linda Fell came home to find that her ex Douglas, who lived for over a year in his “shack”, had put £2,500 worth of her possessions on a bonfire.

New appeal against Lockerbie conviction?

Megrahi family backs renewed bid to clear bomber’s name

After a butt from Farmer Easton’s goat, Wullie The Brave was born... thanks to an auld tartan bucket.

■ Relatives of the only man convicted of the Lockerbie bombing have embarked on a legal bid to clear his name amid claims that his case is the “worst miscarriage of justice in British legal history”.

Six immediate members of Abdelbaset al-Megrahi’s family have joined forces with 24 British relatives of those who died in the atrocity to seek what would be a third appeal against his conviction in the Scottish courts.

Megrahi was found guilty of the bombing of Pan Am flight 103 over Scotland on December 21, 1988, in which 270 people lost their lives.

But campaigners – including Dr Jim Swire (above), whose daughter Flora was killed – say they are still “desperately seeking to get to the truth” two years on from Megrahi’s death.

They claim to have evidence that Megrahi was pressured by ministers to drop his second appeal.

We will remember them...

Scottish veteran in unforgettable yet poignant tribute to those who lost their lives in the D-Day landings ■ Jock Hutton was one of the first Allied soldiers to land in Nazioccupied Europe during World War Two. Seventy years on, the now 89-yearold veteran strapped on a parachute and made the same jump he and his comrades did on June 6, 1944, as the 13th (Lancashire) Parachute Battalion secured Ranville – the first French village liberated on D-Day. Mr Hutton’s incredible tandem jump was featured in every single Scottish daily newspaper, and the man himself described the feeling as “poetry”.

The only disappointment though, Mr Hutton revealed, was the lack of Calvados on landing.

“It was very humbling and I’m highly privileged to be here,” said the Stirling-born paratrooper during services to mark the anniversary.

Mr Hutton, admitted last week’s experience was much different to the one 70 years ago.

Of his D-Day landing, he recalled: “We were jammed in and it was a bloody pleasure to get out the aircraft after the discomfort and so on.

“We were all young and full of fight.”

Banged up in BB ■ It’s that time of year again, and there’s another Scot in the Big Brother house.

Danielle McMahon (25), a lingerie model from Glasgow, is one of the new housemates on the Channel 5 show.

Only One Direction ■ A Harry Styles lookalike told how he was escorted out of One Direction’s gig at Murrayfield.

The Evening Times said security staff removed teenager Richard Dickson (above) for his own safety after being mobbed.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

14 l news

BEST OF SCOTTISH COMMENT

We need to talk about the kids

Ticking timebomb testing society

Tiffany Jenkins

Ron Ferguson

The Scotsman

The Press and Journal

■ Television presented Kirstie Allsop put the proverbial cat among the pigeons when she said she would advise her – hypothetical – daughter to have children before she reaches 27 and only worry about a career afterwards.

Starting a career so late is not something The Scotsman’s Tiffany Jenkins found plausible.

But while she said “a career takes time to build” Jenkins added: “Allsop is not wrong in highlighting issues with how we reproduce and organise our lives.”

She said Allsop had made “valid points and raised reasonable questions” and that much of the criticism directed towards her was “nasty and unhelpful”.

Jenkins said much of the “outrage” was down to a “vocal community who believe in the importance of a woman’s education and career”. Although she agrees with them, Jenkins said the response could have been “less hysterical”.

But Jenkins also said Allsop’s comments were so controversial because people are so defensive about parenting and whether or not they choose to have children.

■ Dementia is a “dread, a shuddering, a nightmare”, wrote Ron Ferguson in The Press and Journal, and it is one of the greatest challenges of our time.

And, he noted, how we tackle the situation “will reveal what kind of society we are”.

Ferguson pointed out that although many of us have been touched by the condition in some shape or form, society has “not truly wakened up to the impact of this devastating illness”.

While some examples of care can be hailed as best practice, he suggested patients in some facilities are treated in ways that “border on cruelty” – something Ferguson found “truly shocking” in 2014.

Ferguson went on to highlight broadcaster Sally Magnusson’s personal account of her mother Mamie’s “slow descent into the nether reaches of dementia” and said copies of her book – described as “an eloquent affirmation of the worth and dignity of every human being” – should be sent to every health service legislator in the country.

“This is wake-up time,” he concluded.

Delicate flowers in high dudgeon

Alison Rowat The Herald

■ Politicians seem to be in a race to see who can appear to be the most offended, said Alison Rowat in The Herald.

She said Alistair Darling had “lit the blue touchpaper” in an interview with the New Statesmen when he said Alex Salmond’s claim the BBC’s European election coverage was responsible for Scots electing a UKIP MEP was like “something Kim Jong-Il would say”.

This she said, was branded “pathetic and puerile” by a spokesman for the First Minister. In fact, she said, with tongue-firmly-in-cheek, it appeared the comments were so wounding that a luxury retreat is needed so politicians can recover from such brutal

and bruising bouts of namecalling.

She said the response to Mr Darling’s comments made it appear the SNP had only been in politics “for five minutes rather than eight decades” and that “it gives the impression that SNP politicians have never uttered a harsh word in their lives”.

Rowat said that while everyone wants to see the independence debate “conducted in a reasonably civilised manner one would hate to see the day, or the Scotland, in which passion and humour did not have their place”.

Rowat said that if “we cannot become inspired, passionate and yes, sometimes downright rude” when debating independence “then there is something wrong”.

She admitted there is “a line” that should not be crossed but it is one that is recognised by ordinary Scots “as opposed to the handful of internet shock jockeys” who often transgress.

Rowat added Scots may miss such passionate debate when the referendum is over.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ Ever had a hankering for pizza that you just can’t shift?

Former Countryfile presenter Julia Bradbury did, and the fact that she was in the heart of the Cuillin Mountains with a film crew at the time certainly was not going to stop her.

Two Skye businesses went the extra mile to ensure Ms Bradbury, cameramen and producers did not go hungry, responding to a call from the wilds near Loch Coruisk for three margaritas, four hot and spicy, two ham and cheese and two vegetarian pizzas. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Cafe Sia owner Tom Eveling drove the pizzas 12 miles to a waiting speedboat, which was operated by Bella Jane Boats, before they were whisked over water to Ms Bradbury and her crew 40 minutes or so later.

Bella Jane Boats owner David Brown said: “It was like the Milk Tray advert – but with pizza.

“We have had some unusual requests over the years but this was up among them.

“But the pizzas were still hot and greatly appreciated.”

16 l news Winning hearts and minds key

Fraser Nelson The Daily Telegraph

■ Better Together needs to up its game if it is to secure victory in September’s independence referendum, said Spectator editor Fraser Nelson (below) in The Daily Telegraph.

He said that while “unionists have the best arguments,” it is Yes supporters “who have the best tunes”.

He said the grassroots campaign for independence is being run by “people who believe in a cause”.

But although he enjoyed the Yes meeting he attended in Elgin, Nelson is no convert to the Yes campaign.

He said in 1997 the devolution campaign’s best argument was that “countries are best governed by people living in the country”. He

BEST OF briTISH comment said Alex Salmond is making the same argument now, only that “it is demonstrably untrue”.

Nelson said home rule would not solve Scotland’s problems, such as a struggling NHS and the gap in educational attainment between rich and poor, as both health and education are already devolved.

He said his own “nationalistic dreams” were shattered when he found the Scottish Parliament was using “its powers to opt out of tough reforms”.

But he said many people are turning to Yes because of the poverty of the Better Together campaign. He said the controversial Lego illustrations showing how the £1,400 “union dividend” could be spent by Scots was an embarrassment and that “if the SNP were to run a pastiche of a Bullingdon boy negotiating with what he assumed to be a nation of Rab C Nesbitt halfwits then it would read no differently”.

However, he said Better Together can still win – if they target voters’ hearts as well as minds.

Brown’s courage cannot be doubted

Balkanisation Scandinavia-style

Jane Merrick

Mure Dickie

The Independent on Sunday

The Financial Times

■ Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown’s return to the political frontline was put under the microscope by The Independent on Sunday’s political editor Jane Merrick.

She said while it may not quite be as inspiring as the eight 20th century figures he profiled in his 2007 book Courage, she said his decision to return to the bearpit that is Westminster’s press gallery four years after those same journalists “helped write him out of office” is worthy of “some respect”.

Merrick, citing New Labour “guru” Philip Gould, said Brown’s idea of courage is “not the absence of fear” but instead “the relentless pursuit of moral purpose”.

Merrick said Brown “believes that keeping the UK together is the right thing” and that “he is brave to lead the fight”, regardless of “whether you agree with him or not”.

Merrick said Brown has now hinted he did not enjoy being Prime Minister.

Presumably, she said, he stayed because “he thought he was doing good”. It is for that same reason he is willing to face the press pack that helped end his premiership.

■ Swedish foreign minister Carl Bildt claimed that Scottish independence could lead to the “Balkanisation” of the UK. But, writing in The Financial Times, Mure Dickie said that although a Yes vote would have “far reaching implications” and would “surely encourage selfdetermination movements across Europe and beyond” it is unlikely there would be any of the conflict that followed the collapse of the Ottoman Empire or the break-up of Yugoslavia.

Yes campaigners “cannot seriously claim to be engaged in a liberation struggle,” said Dickie.

Instead, he said the independence debate has centred around “economic and individual prosperity”.

And Dickie said that rather than use troops, “Britain deploys bureaucrats” armed with statistics.

And he said Mr Bildt should consider Norway’s vote for independence from Sweden in 1905. That “averted conflict” and did no harm to future prosperity.

Seen in Scandinavian terms, Dickie concluded, the term “Balkanisation” suddenly seems a lot less “scary”.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ As if athletes at the Commonwealth Games will not have enough to do with their time this summer, The Sunday Times’ Jason Allardyce revealed that taxpayers will stump the £3,000 cost of distributing 84,000 condoms to those competing in Glasgow.

The paper suggested that “liaisons between athletes are common during big sporting events” and said organisers had sanctioned the move “to help promote safe sex among some of the world’s fittest sportsmen and women from 71 countries the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

who will live in close proximity to each other for two weeks”.

Athletes often find themselves “needing to burn off their boundless energy after taking part in competitions”, the article went on.

The paper added that 150,000 free condoms were distributed at the London Olympics, although organisers at the last Commonwealth Games in Delhi four years ago had to “work around the clock” to remove them from blocked plumbing in the athletes’ village.

18 l news

everybody’s talking about...

Seeing samba stars Why Scots should still care about the World Cup, even though we’re armchair fans 1. Who are Scotland playing?

Don’t rub it in. Scotland failed to qualify for the World Cup finals yet again, meaning it is now 16 years since we were last at the top table – France ‘98 to be exact.

England are there though, and they face Italy, Uruguay and Costa Rica in Group D.

2. Ach well. We’ve had good times at the World Cup before.

Even though the party’s started without us, Scots can’t help reminiscing.

From Archie Gemmill’s sublime goal against the Netherlands in 1978 to David Narey stunning the Brazilians four years later (bottom left), the Tartan Army at least have plenty of fond memories to fall back on.

Not all memories are remembered so warmly though. That 1978 campaign, for example, saw us sent home in ignominy after being well beaten by Peru and drawing with Iran – this after manager Ally MacLeod had us all believing we’d win the damn thing.

But according to Ronnie McDevitt, author of a new MacLeod biography, the Scots boss merely said we would return from Argentina with “some sort of medal”.

He told BBC Scotland: “It is a bold statement but it is a far cry from saying we would win the World Cup.”

3. So if Scotland aren’t there, who should we support?

4. It’s only a game though, right?

Former First Minister Jack McConnell was famously tripped up in 2006 when he said “anyone but England”, although the present occupant of Bute House has been more pragmatic.

As part of an interview with GQ magazine, Alex Salmond said he wanted the “best side” to win and added: “I hope England do well.”

It will be each to his own, but The Scotsman’s John McTernan said he felt young Scots will be “overwhelmingly backing England” because the current generation is “unafraid to celebrate the success of any of the nations of the United Kingdom”.

Anyone putting their money where their mouth is will find Brazil, Argentina, Germany and Spain among the bookies’ favourites. But the Scottish Daily Express reported that Countdown maths’ whizz Rachel Riley had developed a formula – based on a number of factors – that suggested 40/1 outsiders Chile will win.

Go figure.

Of course, but fitba’ daft Scots sometimes see it as more than that. The mere first mention of 1966 will send some patriotic fans into anti-English/überBraveheart mode. But, in the year of the independence referendum, it seems that England’s progress could be hold more signficance than usual.

The Spectator’s Freddy Gray suggested if there is an occasion “more certain to elicit anti-English sentiment among the Scots, it is an international tournament featuring the Three Lions”. And, to that end, he said he believed the Union would “surely be sunk” if England somehow won the trophy for a second time.

“The English would be intolerably smug throughout the summer, especially towards its northern neighbours,” he said.

5. We won’t miss the next one, will we?

There have certainly been signs of improvement under Gordon Strachan, and there’s bound to be optimism Scotland can qualify for the next World Cup in Russia in 2018. That draw will be made in St Petersburg on July 25, 2015.

There is a chance Scotland could potentially host the 2022 World Cup – if Qatar are stripped of the event amid allegations of corruption.

The Guardian reported how Scottish MP Jim Murphy has urged FIFA president Sepp Blatter (bottom right) to re-run the voting process and suggested the Home Counties should bid for the tournament.

BRAZIL 2014 A FEAST OF FOOTBALL

909.6m

The number of people who tuned into the 2010 World Cup final

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

£10m

The figure Scots have spent betting on England to win this year’s World Cup

news l 19

BOFFINS

Tumour-treating tractor beam Star Trek style breakthrough could reel in tumours

Games are D-days ■ Two thirds of Scotland’s top athletes are deficient in vitamin D, the Sunday Herald reported.

Dr Brian Walker, of sportscotland’s Institute of Sport, revealed the startling statistic as he outlined measures to make Scotland the “best prepared team ever” for the Commonwealth Games.

Not only were 66% of Scottish athletes deficient in vitamin D, which is mainly produced by exposure to sunlight, but 10% had “very low levels”.

Dr Walker said a disciplined health approach and supplements were being used to get the athletes back on track.

■ Researchers at Dundee University have created a Star Trek-style tractor beam that could help treat cancerous tumours.

The physicists have developed an ultrasound “array” that exerts force on an object to hold or move it, BBC News reported.

It’s thought to be the first time such a beam has moved anything larger than microscopic targets.

Working with colleagues at Southampton University and Illinois Wesleyan University, the team used an ultrasound device that already has clinical approval

for MRI-guided ultrasound surgery.

Dr Christine Demore, of Dundee’s Institute for Medical Science and Technology, told The Scotsman that highly focused ultrasound can, like a magnifying glass, heat tissue enough to kill it.

“If we can push the ultrasound to the area needing to be treated, we can kill the tumour more effectively and efficiently,” she said.

In chemotherapy, she added, a drug in a bubble could be pushed to the exact area.

Chickens stand the test of thyme ■ Scientists in Scotland have discovered lemon and thyme don’t just go with chicken, they help the birds grow bigger.

The findings have major implications for the farming industry, the Scottish Mail on Sunday said, following a European ban on safety grounds of growth-promoting antibiotics.

In research by the Ayrshire-based Avian Research Centre of Scotland’s Rural College, a herbal mix added to feed improved chickens’ growth rate and increased the amount of breast meat.

Chickens fed lemon, thyme, basil, caraway, laurel, sage and tea were 6.6% heavier and produced up to 10% more breast meat than those fed a normal diet.

Global warming could cause

5

■ The carcass of a

rare Arctic beluga whale, found on Lunan beach, north of Arbroath, plugged a 200-year-old research gap for National Museums Scotland, The Courier reported.

NMS boffins compared the mammal’s skull to the only other in their collection, which came from a stranding in the Forth in 1815.

times as many extreme summer downpours than previously anticipated in Britain this year. Extreme rainfall events exceeding 28mm per hour would cause “really severe” flash flooding, said Met Office and Newcastle University researchers.

Mars no bar to life-seeking accountant ■ An Inverness accountant who believes there must be “more to life” has been shortlisted for a mission to Mars, the Sunday Herald reported.

The Mars One mission attracted more than 200,000 applications from around the world for 20 places on a project to establish a settlement of 20 people on the Red Planet.

These 20,000 applications have been whittled down to just over 700, and Sarah

Johnson, (30) is the only Scot selected.

In her video application for the adventure, Ms Johnson, said she wanted to go because “I find myself waking up every morning thinking there must be more to life and the reason for that is probably because I am an accountant”.

Endemol, the makers of Big Brother, is to film the process to create what The Independent calls “the ultimate reality show”.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

20 l

LETTERS TO THE EDITORS Fiddling while Rome burns

best of the week

Time for a pint ■ The Equivalent was defined in the Treaty of Union 1707 as a sum of £398,085 and 10 shillings to be paid to Scotland...for accepting liability for a part of England’s national debt.

Some of this was paid... but it seems uncertain whether all of it was. I have seen no discussion of to what extent the relative national debts of the two countries before the Union should be taken into account in allocating debts between them on the termination of the 1707 Union.

Perhaps of interest, Article VII of the Treaty lets us deduce the “exchange rate” of pints of beer.

Twelve gallons Scots, before the Union, was equal to 34 gallons English. In both cases there were eight pints to the gallon, so the Scots pint was nearly equal to three English pints.

This may lend a fresh perspective to the old Scots song “Gae bring tae me, a pint o wine...”.

■ Platitudes, platitudes and still 16 weeks to endure all this hot air until the independence referendum.

I applaud those who have a vision for a more equal, caring and dynamic Scotland and to half believe in such a possibility would make me seriously consider a Yes vote.

I look around, however, and see drugs, alcoholism, obesity, insufficient basic housing and infrastructure, with a core of citizens unprepared to work, all of which has been in our ability to tackle in the past, so what changes with independence?

We already have the powers to tackle most of our problems and improve our way of life and are simply deluding ourselves with this horribly divisive and emotive sideshow of a referendum. Truly fiddling while Rome burns.

Dr Pierre Fouin, North Deeside Road, Milltimber, The Press and Journal

Seeing the funny side of things ■ A regally attired personage leaves her palace in a magnificent horse-drawn coach and, escorted by cavalry clad in shining armour, processes to a grand building where she is greeted with a fanfare and then, flanked by others

David Stevenson, Blacket Place, Edinburgh The Scotsman the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

in glorious raiment, solemnly reads out provisions for a levy on plastic bags.

Does anyone else, I wonder, find all this endearingly comic?

S Beck, Edinburgh The Scotsman

Not so great Games ■ The Commonwealth Games are turning out to be a disaster for ordinary folk around the Games sites.

No thought was given to the disruption to their lives.

What on earth were the planners thinking – or did they think the plebs would put up with it?

Rosemary Kerry, Glasgow Scottish Daily Mail

“Ludicrous contribution” ■ There’s a remarkable new contender in the highly competitive prize category of “most ludicrous contribution to Scotland’s referendum debate”.

Swedish foreign minister Carl Bildt apparently foresees a Yes vote leading to the “Balkanisation of the British Isles”.

Does he see the independence of Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia as the Balkanisation of the Baltic?

I suspect it is not mere

coincidence that Mr Bildt made this statement just hours after spending some time with his political friend George Osborne. Mr Osborne’s last attempt to use fear to influence the independence debate backfired rather spectacularly.

Contrary to what he may think, Scotland’s voters are not fools, so I suspect this will do the same.

C Hegarty, Glenorchy Road, North Berwick The Scotsman

Nothing to Shout about ■ I mean no disrespect to Lulu – genuinely.

She has a fantastic voice and always seems to have a positive attitude.

But is it right that she should be the person to “top the bill” at the Commonwealth Games ceremony?

Maybe if it was about representing the best of Scottish music from a few decades ago, but 2014?

It reminds me of a comment attributed to (though not proven to have been said by) John Lennon, when asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the world: “He’s not even the best drummer in the Beatles.”

Lorraine Ferguson, Edinburgh The Scotsman

that’s debatable ■ It is a travesty of the position of those who oppose any form of euthanasia to describe them as “those who revel in the sight of unmentionable human suffering”.

Christians have been at the forefront of the palliative care movement, the aim of which is to relieve suffering by all-round care which eases the experience of dying for both the patient and family.

While it is possible to lose our subjective human dignity, it is impossible for us to lose our inherent human dignity.

I believe our dignity and the safety of those more vulnerable than ourselves are best served by giving and receiving care right up to end of life.

■ In the early years of my ministry, the family could be confident medical staff would make every effort to combat pain and ease the final passage of a loved one. Later in my career, as the “Shipman” paranoia descended, I sat by the beds of parishioners in busy wards as they lived out their final days in the grossest indignity and suffering.

In scenes too harrowing to describe it was clear insufficient painkillers were being prescribed because staff feared for their careers in the subsequent inquisitional postmortem. Aid in dying is simply another endof-life decision and it should be available to patients in extremis because modern medicine too often prevents nature taking its course.

Rev Dr Donald M MacDonald, Craiglockhart Grove, Edinburgh The Scotsman

Dr John Cameron, Howard Place, St Andrews The Scotsman Letters have been edited

l 21

THE WEE PAPERS

A taste of...

Square go ■ Cameron Square in Fort William’s town centre has had a £540,000 makeover.

The aim of the overhaul, funded by the Scottish Government, is to attract more visitors to the High Street area.

Improvements include terraced seating, grassed areas, coloured lighting and artworks.

Public access wi-fi is also available.

Getting together

SPORT Winger flies off ■ Fort William boss Calum MacLean admitted he was “gutted” after losing star winger James Mackay to Brora Rangers, the News’s Nick Humphreys reported.

Wick-based Mackay (20) signed a two-year deal with the Highland League football champions following a series of impressive performances towards the end of last season.

Fists for Phoenix ■ Lochaber Phoenix Boxing Club celebrated a double triumph in a stirring contest at Dundee FC’s social club. Fighters Leon Smith (12) and Adam Watson (26) won convincing victories in a show hosted by St Francis Boxing Club. Smith won by a points decision, while Watson achieved a first round victory.

■ Highland Council and civic campaigners are urging Fort William folk to get together and make a difference to their town.

The council wants volunteers for a “town team” to improve the environment. Public meetings have already thrown up ideas such as tidying shop-fronts and creating town gateways decorated with artworks.

Centre for Gaelic ■ Language campaigners want to see a Gaelic advancement centre in Fort William.

Lochaber Gaelic Initiative co-organiser Finlay MacLeod said most forward-looking Scots valued Gaelic as part of Scotland’s identity.

A centre of excellence would enable people

to learn Gaelic quickly and take part in social activities, he said.

Fort William to Euston link.

Sharp-eyed scrutiny

■ Devoted couples have been clipping “love locks” to the Lower Falls bridge in scenic Glen Nevis.

The lovers inscribe their names on padlocks and throw away the keys in a custom that started in Serbia 100 years ago, before reappearing in Italy early this century.

The same tactic is used at the Pont des Arts bridge in Paris.

■ Lochaber Transport Forum will watch “like a hawk” after a controversial private company was awarded the 15-year, £800 million contract to run the Caledonian Sleeper train service.

Transport Scotland named Serco the new franchisee for the overnight Scotland-toLondon trains, including the “vital”

Bridge of love

the big story Motorists don’t dig gridlock ■ Contractors laying a broadband connection caused “ridiculous” gridlock chaos on the main A82 road through Fort William, Stuart Taylor reported.

Tailbacks reached up to four miles in both directions, and a knock-on effect hit feeder roads across the town.

Motorists vented their fury on social media, detailing missed appointments, late school pick-ups and extraordinary travel times for short distances.

Councillor Brian Murphy told the Lochaber News of his anger that the works had gone ahead with little or no consultation. He said: “It would appear that the utility companies are able to dig up roads as and when they please with a total regard for local commuters and tourists.”

However, a spokesman for BEAR Scotland, which manages the trunk road, said it had liaised with BT to finish the work by 4pm and peak travel time. BT said warm weather had generated more than usual Friday traffic.

EVENING ALL Edinburgh Evening News ■ Thirty-one city primary

schools have applied to take part in a trial to ban cars from nearby streets at drop-off times.

Five of the applicants will be chosen for next year’s pilot project, which aims to deal with the problems of driving and parking irresponsibly near schools.

Evening Express

Evening Times

Greenock Telegraph

Evening Telegraph

■ Top medics have raised fears that staffing shortages could cost lives at NHS Grampian’s Emergency Care Centre in Aberdeen.

The consultants were backed by Scottish Patients’ Association chairwoman Maureen Watt, who called for a political summit to “make the health service well”.

■ A foodbank organiser in Glasgow’s Dennistoun area has spoken of how he broke down in tears after his first day giving out aid.

Dr Craig Donaldson (31), a research fellow at Strathclyde University, said there was “genuine and dire” need, adding: “Some of the people who visit have harrowing stories to tell.”

■ Opponents of the “bedroom tax” have welcomed Inverclyde Council’s move to give immediate help to tenants.

Tenants will be approved immediately for discretionary housing payments after filling out a simple form. Campaigner Garry Maclachlan hailed a “huge step in the right direction”.

■ Security guards at an Asda supermarket in Dundee have donned body cameras to catch young troublemakers.

The footage allowed police and community safety wardens to identify known miscreants.

Attempts have also been made to build relationships with the youngsters through football.

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VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST

NEWS BLOGS Who asked for a “no thank you”

By Dave Lord ❘ The Courier While its official name may be Better Together, Dave Lord reminded readers it is more colloquially known as the No campaign. But he said “now those opposed to independence are being urged to say ‘no thanks’” instead. Lord said that while this was an attempt to make the No campaign seem more upbeat, there is, inevitably, limited positivity in such a negative. This, he said, is why adding a “thanks” has “had so little impact”. www.thecourier.co.uk/opinion/blogs

■ Norwegian Ronny Deila was unveiled as

Celtic’s new manager at a press conference at Parkhead, succeeding Neil Lennon as boss.

■ Thousands of people staged a midnight march in Glasgow’s south side after a series of sex attacks in the city. Peter Swindon

BBC Scotland no more than a “nice idea”

By Gerry Hassan ❘ Scottish Review It is not just BBC Scotland’s coverage of the independence referendum that is now under question said Gerry Hassan on Scottish Review, it is the entire organisation itself.

He said “there is a profound absence of leadership, courage and standing up for a positive vision” at BBC Scotland, which he said is “a nice idea” rather than a reality.

Instead, he said it is nothing more “than a brand name on the front of a building” rather than a truly Scottish enterprise with its finger on the nation’s pulse.

■ Eve Sturgeon, from Edinburgh, among the supercars as the Gumball Rally rolled into the capital.

www.scottishreview.net

SNP singing from Osborne’s hymn sheet

By James Maxwell ❘ The Staggers Scots are more likely to opt for constitutional change when the economic outlook is rosy, said James Maxwell on the New Statesman’s rolling blog. The discovery of North Sea oil led to an upsurge of support for the SNP in the 1970s which is why the Scottish Government say the economy is performing better than it actually is. Maxwell said portraying Scotland’s economic prospects as brighter than they are is “Osborne-esque”. www.newstatesman.com/the-staggers

MSPs keeping it in the family

By Paul Hutcheon ❘ Politics, Journalism, etc The introduction of new rules prohibiting MSPs from employing family members are due to be introduced next year. Paul Hutcheon said talks are underway to push the change back until 2016 and some fear the plans may be dropped entirely. www.paulhutcheon.blogspot.co.uk the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

■ Scots Gerard Butler and Craig Ferguson pose for the cameras at the Hollywood premiere of How to Train Your Dragon 2.

■ Veteran Jock Hutton (89) with Colour Sergeant Michael Blanchard following a tandem parachute jump to mark 70 years since D-Day.

NEWS TWEETS #jkrowling Scottish independence is for muggles, says JK Rowling #indyref #pottertogether

JK Rowling gets my vote. Well done her.

Keep Scotland in the UK Better Together.

Do you think JK Rowling thinks we are BT because she is now minted & is not affected by Tory cuts?

Just a thought.

Ben Borland @chorleycake2

Antony Parvin @Antony556

Garfield Tait @gazzafield

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VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST good week Ming equals cha-ching The sale of a Ming-style plate at auction netted a Dumfries pensioner an incredible £427,250, reported Scotland Now. Experts were stunned as the dragon-decorated plate went for more than 85 times its £5,000 estimate in Edinburgh.

Tourism back on track Tourists visiting Scotland spent 20% more last year than they did the previous year.

Figures showed the number of visitors was also up by 9.8% to 2.44 million, and that they spent a total of £1.68 billion to boost the economy.

■ Our word cloud amalgamates all the week’s news from the Scottish papers, with the greatest prominence given to the most frequently used words.

GOSSIP OF THE WEEK

bad week

Scotland – is based on the popular Diana Gabaldon series of books, and Heughan told Scotland Now that he has already been mobbed by fans.

“I feel like I’ve stepped on to a roller coaster and not got off it yet,” he said.

How much fun? Rockall A Scots adventurer has spent the last week alone on a rock in the Atlantic.

Nick Hancock is on Rockall – which lies 260 miles west of the Western Isles – as he attempts to spend a record breaking 60 days there.

The previous 42-day record was set in 1997 by Greenpeace campaigners.

Battle weary Ticket sales for an event marking 700 years since the Battle of Bannockburn “bombed”.

Barely a third had been sold less than three weeks before the event.

Bear necessities Sam loving life in Scotland’s Thrones The lead in the forthcoming TV series dubbed Scotland’s Game of Thrones has admitted to feeling like a “rock star”.

Sam Heughan (above), who used to appear in River City, was cast as Jamie Fraser in Outlander – which is due to hit US screens in August.

The show – filmed in

Adventurer Bear Grylls and Hollywood actor Ben Stiller were spotted on the Isle of Skye.

The pair were seen filming together as they tried to survive a night in the island’s Spar Cave for a new NBC reality show entitled Get Out Alive.

It will be shown later in 2014.

Sheeran shows a bit of cheek Singer Ed Sheeran has revealed he once impersonated Calvin

Harris so he could sneak into a party at Madonna’s house.

The Irish Examiner revealed how the ‘Lego House’ singer pretended to be the Scots DJ on the suggestion of Harris’ then girlfriend Rita Ora (they confirmed that they had split up this week) to get in to an Oscars after-party.

Better late than never, it seems A Scot whose chronic lateness was diagnosed as a medical condition has become an internet sensation in South America, reported Niahm Burns in The Scotsman.

Jim Dunbar, from Carnoustie, filmed a commercial in Spain which shows him talking about how his life has been troubled by his tardiness.

The clip has now gone viral in Spanish-speaking countries around the world.

JK Rowling hasn’t made a good album since “Aladdin Sane”.

We should all appreciate JK Rowling even more.

One of the strongest supporters of progressive politics in the UK.

So does JK Rowling’s donation to antiindependence make Alex Salmond “He Who Cannot Be Named?”

Shaking my head. JK Rowling’s reasons for backing No actually *are* that we’re too wee, too poor and too stupid.

You have to give it to JK Rowling, she does put her money where her mouth is.

Euan McColm @euanmccolm

Dominic Moffitt @dommoffitt

Robin Wigglesworth @RobinWigg

Ray McRobbie @Ray_McRobbie

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Stooshie of the week

aye or ay ❘ eye ❘ 1. means yes.

Usage: “Aye, I’ll be there.”

■ Imagine, for one second, you are Andy Murray, serving for the Wimbledon title in July last year.

This is a man who, let us not forget, survived the Dunblane massacre, left his family home to learn tennis in Spain and has spent tens of thousands of hours perfecting his game to the point where he was in a position to win the biggest championship of them all, Wimbledon, 77 years after the last man from this country won his home championship and 12 months after he broke down after losing that same final.

How must Andy Murray have felt as he closed in on victory?

It is a situation many of us have fantasised about but to actually climb that mountain is an amazing feat of perseverance, dedication and, of course, no little talent.

Could he have gone on to win had Novak Djokovic taken that third set instead? Even Murray has said he has his doubts.

For years we have seen the likes of Pete Sampras and Roger Federer gambol to title after title, but the truth is if Wimbledon was as easy to win as they often made it look, more people would do it.

Certainly, there would not have been a 77-year gap between British male winners if, like any Grand Slam,

Wimbledon was not such an enormous physical and mental challenge.

And Murray also had to deal with the additional burden of the unreal expectations placed upon his shoulders by a nation desperate to see the long wait for a male champion come to an end.

Murray’s victory may well be one of the greatest sporting triumphs any of us will see in our lifetimes. That Alex Salmond felt the need to intrude on that moment is unforgivably selfish.

Now, a year after Murray’s triumph, he has openly said he did not appreciate the First Minister desperate bit of politicking. And no wonder: the supreme achievement of his career was piggy-backed by a politician intent on scoring cheap points.

Of course, Mr Salmond said he was so caught up in the moment that he unthinkingly reached for the flag he had stashed in his wife’s handbag for just such an occasion, handily photobombing David Cameron in the process.

The truth is as great as Murray’s success was for the UK and Scotland it was, most of all, an individual victory.

Pulling out a Saltire was a cheap stunt unworthy of the occasion.

First Minister flagged offside?

As Andy Murray reveals he “didn’t like it” when Alex Salmond waved a Saltire during his Wimbledon win last year, was the First Minister wrong to do so?

AS ITHERS SEE US!

O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us!

To a Louse ❘ Robert Burns found himself appearing in Scotland fans of the movie ‘Italia 90’, as the a certain vintage “Scottish coach”. may well want to forget the Although he loved the country’s 1-0 defeat to Costa idea of standing in for such Rica in the 1990 World Cup. “a dignified personality”, The Costa Ricans, on the he quipped: “Did the real other hand...well, they’ve just Scottish coach of 1990 have a released a film about it. red beard? Was he in his midWriting for The Tico Times, thirties? Did I look anything journalist Robert Isenberg the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

like him?”

“As film roles go, the “Scottish coach” was almost meaningless, and I might as well have played the soccer ball.”

But he concluded that ‘Italia 90’ “isn’t just a movie” for Costa Ricans, it’s a chance to relive a “national triumph”.

“Small northern nation to vote on independence in peaceful referendum. Should the world care at a time when Ukraine has pitted East versus West in an echo of the Cold War?” asked Mike Peacock in the Chicago Tribune.

His answer was yes. He said Scotland has “punched above its weight for centuries, bringing the world Adam Smith, the father of the free market, as well as the steam engine, television and penicillin”, but said there are “more pressing reasons” to pay heed to a vote which could see the UK lose Scots.

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Stooshie of the week

naw

❘ naw ❘

1. means no or not.

Usage: “Naw, I can’t make it to the game.”

Peacock said the chances of England, Wales and Northern Ireland voting to quit the EU would rise without the Scots, and pointed out that while the US had been “reserved” about its view on Scottish independence, Obama’s administration has made it “abundantly clear” that it wants to see Britain at the heart of the EU. He added that Scottish independence would also “alter the calculus” for UK politics, adding that David Cameron’s position could come under threat if the Scots “destabilised his party as it moves into election mode”.

A Smoky Mountains Scottish Festival and Games was given plenty of coverage in the Knoxville area of Tennessee.

More than 5,000 people attended what was “one of the oldest Scottish Festivals in the country”, according to local news website Local8now. com.

“This is our heritage, this is what settled this region, was the Scotch-Irish,” said organiser John Rose.

“There’s a lot of Mac’s in names, which means ‘son of’ in Scotland.

“So, there’s a lot of Scottish people in this area.”

■ Scotland’s best ever tennis player Andy Murray might not necessarily have liked it, but it doesn’t make it wrong.

Last time I checked, the Saltire was the national flag of Scotland...so why not wave it at a time of triumph?

The cynical among us branded it a political “stunt” by the First Minister – an almost calculated action seeking to undermine David Cameron knowing full well that Scotland would be going to the polls 14 months or so later to vote on independence.

In truth, Mr Salmond’s exuberance was cringeworthy in the extreme, but the act, in itself, was completely harmless.

Especially as it was such a pivotal point in the match, as Murray broke Novak Djokovic to go 5-4 up in the third set and put destiny in his own hands.

The rest they say is history, and you’ll be hard-pressed to find anyone, when asked about the 2013 final at SW19, who would remember it as ‘that time when Alex Salmond whipped a flag out’.

To be honest, politicians are forever guilty of mixing politics and sporting success in the hope that they can bask in the spotlight by association.

No-one can presume to

think Mr Salmond set out that morning ensuring that his wife Moira’s handbag was primed for such displays of patriotism.

Plus, how was he to know the seating arrangements at Wimbledon would fall so kindly?

Compare what Mr Salmond did to some of the ‘stunts’ pulled at the London Olympics – a crash-helmeted Boris Johnson hanging limply from a rope, Union Jack flags clasped in his hands – comes to mind.

The First Minister’s flag waving could be considered forgettable small fry.

The only reason the issue reemerged this week is because journalists were in dire need of something to stoke up the independence debate.

Mr Salmond was guilty of one thing though, and that’s breaking the All England Club’s rules.

With all the quintessential ‘stiff upper lip’ Britishness you might expect, the club prohibits “large flags, banners, rattles, klaxons or oversized hats” – incidentally a rule Murray himself broke when he draped himself in a Union Jack at the London Olympics.

So you could say Mr Salmond was wrong on that score. But certainly not in celebrating a joyous moment in the manner he did.

A letter from New Westminster resident June Sullivan appeared on Canada’s The Province online newspaper that could either offend or give Scots a renewed sense of pride, whichever you please.

The letter was written in response to previous suggestions the popular Dr Seuss series of children’s books contained several gender and racial stereotypes.

With that in mind, Mrs Sullivan said it comes to mind that Scottish people are “frequently portrayed in books, cartoons, ads, Disney movies, etc, as belligerent,

hairy-kneed skinflints”.

But she did go on to say: “I don’t know too many Scots who lie in bed sleepless worrying about their image.”

If you are a Scot, you’ll probably take your own view!

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REVIEW & Preview

STAGE

First Cosmonaut TRAVERSE THEATRE, EDINBURGH Run ended ■ Irish theatre company Blue Raincoat have won much acclaim in these parts for their takes on Flann O’Brien (The Third Policeman) and Eugene Ionesco (The Chairs), but this time around they have brought a new work to the stage penned by their frequent

Grit REVIEWED TRAMWAY, GLASGOW At Mull Theatre, June 20 - 22 ■ Martyn Bennett was a hugely popular figure in the revitalised Scottish folk scene of the 1990s and his early death from cancer in 2005 left friends and fans bereft. Grit is the result of a collaboration between director Cora Bissett and writer Kieran Hurley which seeks to represent his vibrant stage presence and tell a moving human story.

The work he produced is a key element to the show and Neil Cooper in The Herald noted that “like its creator, that music remains a force of nature”, while the Sunday Herald’s Mark Brown was full of praise insisting that “this is a wonderfully fitting homage to Martyn Bennett”.

Over at The Guardian, Mark Fisher acknowledged that “with a punkish energy, the director captures the sense of openended excitement generated through the music of Bennett”, while Joyce McMillan in The Scotsman stated that audiences “will experience the raw power of a moment when Scottish culture changed for good, combining a new pride in its past with a hugely dynamic sense of its creative future”. The List’s Gareth K Vile was less effusive, insisting that “the standing ovation is unsurprising but converting grit into glitter makes for a disappointing, shallow production”.

Last Of The Duty Free KING’S THEATRE, EDINBURGH Run ended ■ For those of a certain vintage, Duty Free was an archetypal mid-80s comedy which helped shape the perception that ITV didn’t really do sitcoms very well.

Asides from the odd rare exception (Rising Damp, The

EXHIBITIONS

collaborator, Jocelyn Clarke.

The play details the life of Yuri Gagarin and his landmark space flight of 1961. Using props such as umbrellas and ladders with great invention, the company play this out in the guise of Smolensk Drama Theatre, an amateur troupe from Gagarin’s home region.

Irene Brown at edinburghguide.com was suitably beguiled: “The piece is beautifully if comically choreographed thanks to their apposite training in mime and to Niall Henry’s fine direction.”

Meanwhile, Joyce McMillan reviewing for The Scotsman was moved to write this: “The use of sound, visual imagery, and simple props is stunning, in a show that compels us to reflect on the fragile world that Yuri Gagarin was the first to see hanging alone in space, a long half-century ago.”

New Statesman), that view persists today, but even for the haters, the sight of its main stars resurrecting their characters might instil gentle feelings of misty-eyed nostalgia.

While Joyce McMillan in The Scotsman dubs this stage production as “pretty dire” she does have a little time for its lead players: “despite some clapped-out material, it’s remarkable to see Keith Barron and Gwen Taylor still offering a masterclass in comic timing”. At the All Edinburgh Theatre website, Hugh Simpson was distinctly less charitable: “Even the most indulgent fans will be hard pressed to find much to entertain them in this slow-paced, creaky affair, while newcomers will simply be bewildered”.

Lucy Skaer HUNTERIAN MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY, GLASGOW Until July 6 ■ The Generation bandwagon shows no sign of slowing down. An exhibition from Lucy Skaer contextualises this Turner Prize-nominee’s encounter with the late Leonora Carrington, a veteran the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

of Surrealism.

After her death in 2011, Skaer returned to Carrington’s house and took a series of exterior photographs, some of which are on display at the Hunterian.

As Sarah Urwin Jones in The Herald noted of Skaer, “her work is both ambiguous and poetic, highly crafted and thought-provoking”.

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REVIEW & Preview FILM

A Million Ways To Die In The West (15) Starring: Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried ■ Poor Seth MacFarlane. After the abuse heaped on him when he temporarily neutered Family Guy’s intellectual mutt Brian and the negative reaction to his musical routine while hosting the 2013 Oscars, a mauling has arrived for A Million Ways To

Die In The West. But whether MacFarlane really gives two hoots about the critics is up for debate.

The movie is about a terrible sheep herder (that’ll be Seth) who spends its duration trying to win back his girl and stay alive in a town where people are bumped off through increasingly more surprising methods. Alison Rowat of The Herald stuck her spurs in deep: “MacFarlane’s blend of snarky comedy and modern dialogue falls horribly flat when transferred back in time, with the jokes ranging from puerile to nauseating”. And for The List, Emma Simmonds wrote that the film “has the stench of a vanity project, a work of eye-watering indulgence that conspicuously follows the box office bonanza that was Ted”.

Average rating 3/10

Grace Of Monaco (PG)

Fruitvale Station (15)

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Tim Roth, Parker Posey ■ If you thought that reviews for the Naomi Watts-starring Diana were awful, best brace yourself for an onslaught of negativity towards this biopic of another tragic regal icon. Grace Kelly was Hollywood royalty before she became an actual princess in the principality of Monaco, and this movie charts her life as she moved away from the film industry.

Even with the film featuring a normally reliable Nicole Kidman as Grace and Tim Roth as her prince, the critics hated it. The Herald’s Alison Rowat got the ball rolling, concluding that this was “a desperately ill-judged attempt to extract stardust from a life and ending up with sawdust”, while Josh Slater-Williams of The Skinny failed to hold back his ire: “A stale Kidman struggles to capture any of Kelly’s magnetism and fails to make her inner workings readable, though the disastrous script and slapdash direction and editing certainly don’t help.”

Alistair Harkness in The Scotsman also believed that “Kidman gives one of her worst performances”, though The List’s James Mottram praised her. But he even he found fault with the movie’s uncertain tone: “A political drama, a portrait of a marriage, a Hollywood tale: Grace Of Monaco doesn’t quite know what it wants to be.”

Starring: Michael B Jordan, Octavia Spencer, Melonie Diaz ■ This winner at both Sundance and Cannes is based on the true story of Oscar Grant, a young Californian shot and killed by a police officer. Director Ryan Coogler’s film shows the very normal events of the day leading up to this appalling

Average rating 3/10

Alison Watt PERTH MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Until September 28 ■ Ahead of Edinburgh-based painter Watt’s retrospective in Perth, she reflected in the Sunday Herald on the experience of creating those works: “Making a painting, for me, is an emotional

crime in 2009. Alison Rowat of The Herald led the plaudits by stating that this was a “poignant drama” in which “Michael B Jordan turns in a superb, finely tuned performance as Grant”.

The Scotsman’s Alistair Harkness insisted that “this is socially aware cinema at its most nuanced”, while Edward Lawrenson for The Big Issue in Scotland concluded that the film is a “powerfully angry portrait of a young man felled by police brutality”. It was left to Chris Fyvie in The Skinny to drop a little contrariness into this overwhelming positivity: “It’s an emotive film about an emotive incident, but an unmolested account of Grant’s demise could have had so much more impact.”

Average rating 7/10 experience and it’s an intimate thing because it’s about what lies inside. You’re seeing a map of your life, in way.”

Rachel Maclean: Happy And Glorious CCA, GLASGOW Until July 13 ■ Describing Happy And Glorious (right) for The

Scotsman as “the closest to a state of the nation visual arts exhibition you are going to see this year”, Moira Jeffrey particularly praised this video artist’s singular vision: “Maclean paints a picture of the union, the empire and of class struggle that is lurid and sensational, near hypnotic in its attention to detail and at times post-apocalyptic.”

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

28 l THIS WEEK

SCOTS on the box

REVIEW & preview

Worth catching…

Some big Hollywood names show up in a TV one-off while a controversial Scottish comic potters about the kitchen. Plus, we listen to a dystopian drama and hear songs about songs.

TV: The Normal Heart

Sky Atlantic on demand

■ Based on a 1985 play written

by Larry Kramer, The Normal Heart is the latest production to prove that TV can attract some of the hottest names that Hollywood can offer. So, here, Mark Ruffalo stars and Julia Roberts appears in a one-off drama set in early 1980s New York with the AIDS crisis about to hit America hard.

Ruffalo plays Ned Weeks, a gay writer who is critical of the hedonistic scene he witnesses around him but becomes inspired to start campaigning against the apathy he sees from the establishment as this rising epidemic begins to take lives.

The feel of the film created by director Ryan Murphy (Glee, Nip/ Tuck) is warmly appreciated by The Sunday Herald’s Damien Love: “It’s filmed in a glossy but naturalistic way, yet retains the intensity, heat and abstraction of theatre, a near-artificial framing for some very real emotion.”

Original Comedy Shorts Available now on BBC iPlayer ■ Not one to care too much about upsetting people’s sensibilities, it seemed that Frankie Boyle might be talking his way out of ever being asked to appear on British television ever again. But now with his outrageous Tramadol Nights (almost) a distant memory, here he is showing up in one of the BBC’s rather clunkily titled Original Comedy Shorts.

Boyle indulges himself alongside Bob Mortimer in a five-minute film which manages to spoof cookery shows and attack social media. Rob Smedley at the Den Of Geek website found this odd couple to be a pairing that simply didn’t blend: “Mortimer and Boyle lack such chemistry you’d have to lob a beaker of potassium between them to get any kind of reaction going.”

Brian Donaldson at The List was more encouraging, even seeing a potential future for their partnership: “This is the one that you could easily picture being taken further with Mortimer’s quickfire surreality merging neatly with Boyle’s robust bickering.” And Steve Bennett at the Chortle comedy site simply wondered, “could this be the start of Boyle’s comeback to the BBC?”

RADIO: Dangerous Visions

Bryan Burnett GET IT ON

Radio 4, Saturday June 14, 10.45am ■ A season of dramas exploring contemporary takes on future dystopias kicks off with Ray Bradbury’s The Illustrated Man. Edinburgh-born Iain Glen plays the vagrant who claims his tattoos come to life after dark and offers his young travelling companion some tantalising glimpses into the future.

RADIO: Walking With The Wind – America’s Civil Rights Struggle Radio 2, Wednesday June 18, 10pm ■ This is another chance to hear former Black Panther and music legend Nile Rodgers’ assessment of the struggle for African-American civil rights in the 1960s and beyond, featuring a soundtrack of songs that drove the movement forward.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

BBC Scotland’s request show picked songs which are about writing songs (are you following that?)

Barry Manilow

Elton John

McFly

I Write The Songs

Your Song

One For The Radio

The Beautiful South

Ray Charles

Taylor Swift

A Song For You

Our Song

Song For Whoever

Jim Croce

The Divine Comedy

Carly Simon You’re So Vain

I’ll Have To Say I Love You In A Song

Songs Of Love

■ Get It On ❘ Weekdays at 6.10pm

Louise White morning call The following questions were asked on BBC Scotland’s weekday Morning Call programme ■ Why do so many children ■ Does getting divorced still eat away from school? make people feel guilty?

■ Were the trams worth all ■ Is enough being done to that hassle? prepare young people for work?

■ What questions do you still want answered about the ■ Are Scotland’s hospitals at referendum? breaking point?

■ Morning call ❘ Weekdays at 8.50am

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REVIEW & preview

The best of this week’s books

SCOTTISH BESTSELLERS

A different kind of superhero claws his way to the top of the Stooshie reading pile, the king of horror returns and a pilgrimage is made to a late, great Scottish author.

HARD BACK 1. Fighting Spirit

RECOMMENDED

by Fernando Ricksen with Vincent De Vries

Tigerman

2. Where Memories Go

by Nick Harkaway

by Sally Magnusson

■ The third novel from Nick Harkaway is set on a fictional African island where British army sergeant Lester Ferris is recuperating after experiencing traumatic tours of duty. Except he gets involved in solving some local crime with a comic books-obsessed boy who dubs his adult buddy Tigerman, while the island houses a host of characters such as a café owner in pirate gear and a sharptongued doctor.

Writing for The Big Issue in Scotland, Doug Johnstone warmed to this tale. “Harkaway’s most touching and emotionally engaging book yet, a novel about the oddness of familial love, wherever and however it is found.” And Tom Adair, reviewing for The Scotsman, speculated about a potential sequel. “Nick Harkaway has all the writerly skills to pull it off. His Tigerman lives because of his wit and daring intelligence, and his empathy.”

3. The Sex Lives Of Siamese Twins

by Irvine Welsh

4. The Last Refuge

by Craig Robertson

5. 50 People Who Screwed Up Scotland

by Allan Brown

6. Bannockburn

by Alistair Moffat

7. The Great Tapestry Of Scotland

by Alistair Moffat and Andrew Crummy

8. A Song For The Dying

by Stuart MacBride

9. Robert The Bruce Another Great Day At Sea

Mr Mercedes

A People’s History Of Scotland

by James Robertson and Jill Calder

by Geoff Dyer

by Stephen King

by Chris Bambery

by Kirsty Wark

■ Dyer is a modern master of highly innovative fiction and non-fiction and in his latest affair, he writes about the fortnight he spent as writerin-residence aboard the USS George HW Bush, a navy aircraft carrier in the Persian Gulf. Stephen Phelan of The Sunday Herald was suitably impressed, noting that “Dyer’s deceptively conversational approach seems to bring out a casual lyricism in the flyers and sailors attached to this warmachine”.

■ The king of horror returns with a driver causing murderous mayhem at a job fair. When the killer taunts a retired detective about the atrocity he failed to stop, we witness a race against time as another slaughter is planned.

Stephen McGinty in Scotland on Sunday reflected on what King still does so well: “The climax is a well-handled, oldfashioned, page-flicking race against time as Mr Mercedes threatens to bomb a pop concert.”

■ Taking in everything from the post Ice Age settlers, Braveheart and Thatcherism, this history of Scotland doesn’t quite have a ringing endorsement from The Scotsman’s Roger Hutchinson.

“Do not approach this book expecting to read more of the pussy-footing academic social history which Scotland already has in abundance. Bambery sets out to prove that all of Scotland’s past has led us, with Marxist inevitability, to the day when the red flag will flutter over Holyrood.”

10. The Legacy Of Elizabeth Pringle

PAPER BACK 1. Extraordinary People

by Peter May

2. There Was A Wee Lassie Who Swallowed A Midgie

by Rebecca Colby and Kate McLelland

3. Bertie’s Guide To Life And Mothers

by Alexander McCall Smith

4. Saints Of The Shadow Bible

by Ian Rankin

5. The Quarry

by Iain Banks

LOOK OUT FOR...

6. Katie In Scotland

■ In September, the cream of European crime writers will gather up in Stirling for Bloody Scotland. The country’s foremost festival of the genre will feature authors from Iceland, Germany, Norway, Finland and Ireland as well as home-grown talent such as Ian Rankin (right) and Denise Mina.

7. The Blackhouse

■ Now a year has passed since the death of Iain Banks, his fans are planning a pilgrimage through London.

On June 28, they will trek from Holborn to Islington mirroring the stroll taken by Graham Park, a character in his second published book, 1985’s Walking On Glass.

by James Mayhew

by Peter May

8. The Chessmen

by Peter May

9. Road To Referendum

by Iain Macwhirter

10. The Lewis Man

by Peter May ■ Lists from Waterstones 14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

30 l CHEF’S CORNER

MICHAEL KILKIE Head chef at the Cook School at the Tennent’s Training Academy

“Cooking is all about experimenting”, wrote Michael Kilkie in the Sunday Mail and savoury muffins have been the subject of his latest investigations.

Encouraging readers to try “classic combinations” or unconventional flavours, he suggests making muffins with black pudding, haggis or chorizo with manchego cheese.

Describing savoury muffins as “hugely versatile”, he points out that they are a “great breakfast or brunch dish” especially when paired with scrambled eggs. Alternatively, he suggests eating them with a bowl of soup instead of bread.

Best of all, savoury muffins can be eaten using your hands – ideal for the months ahead of TV sport.

tastiest FOOD & Drink New gin distillery

Pints pinched

A new gin distillery and bar launched in the capital this week. The awardwinning Edinburgh Gin opened a bar, visitor centre and distillery under The Rutland Hotel. Customers will be able to enjoy Edinburgh Gin while watching it being made.

Commenting on the launch, Alex Nicol, managing director at Spencerfield Spirit, said: “Edinburgh has a special relationship with gin stretching back centuries.

To this day, more gin is drunk here per head of the population than in any other UK city. With our new visitor centre and distillery... Edinburgh’s great tradition for distilling looks set to be revived.”

The Press and Journal has reported on a series of milk thefts from schools, nurseries and businesses in Aberdeenshire. The milk snatchers have been striking several targets over the course of a night.

Constable Doug McCann is quoted as saying: “This isn’t a case of someone wandering home from a night out and pinching a pint or two for breakfast...

We believe that the milk is being sold on.”

A-listed icon revived After lying empty for five years, Hutcheson’s Hall in Glasgow has a new lease of life as Hutchesons, a cafe bar and brasserie serving Scottish food and drink. The venture is the brainchild of James Rusk, vice chairman of the Glasgow Restaurant Association and restaurateur at The Butchershop Bar & Grill.

The A-listed building has been re-opened after a £1.3 million refit. Since being built in the early 1800s, it has been used as a hospital, library, bank and school.

WINE OF THE WEEK Gaia Thalassitis Assyrtiko 2012 Greek wine has improved hugely in recent years Pete Stewart, Glasgow director of Inverarity One to One, recommended the new breed of Greek wines to Sunday Herald readers. Saying that Greek wine “has come on in leaps and bounds in the last 10 years”, he picked out the 2012 Gaia Thalassitis Assyrtiko from the Peloponnese.

It is described as “Chablis on steroids”, “bone dry” and with a “great minerality”. Pete thought it would pair well with spring vegetables such as peas. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Gin goes underground Located under Central Station in Glasgow, Alston Bar and Beef is a new restaurant and bar specialising in dry-aged, Scottish beef and gin. The new venture takes its name from the old high street in Grahamston, the village which was built over to make way for the station in the 1870s.

Pennies pinched An investigation by the Scottish Sunday Express has revealed that prisoners in some Scottish jails can buy groceries from prison shops more cheaply than the public can from supermarkets. Among other items, the paper found that prisoners in Glenochil could buy a 40 pack of Typhoo teabags for 80p while Tesco charged £1.19. The Scottish Prison Service pointed out their prisoners were unable to shop around.

RECIPE of the week

Scottish Strawberry Fool Chef proprietor of the Michelin-starred Kitchin Restaurant in Leith, Tom Kitchin has devised a menu based on historical Scottish dishes to celebrate the 150th anniversary of John Lewis.

Ingredients (serves 4) For the strawberry compote: ■ 500g ripe, fresh Scottish strawberries ■ Two tablespoons lemon juice (to taste) ■ Four tablespoons caster sugar ■ Few drops of balsamic vinegar (to taste) For the custard: ■ 150ml double cream ■ 150 ml milk ■ Two egg yolks ■ 30g caster sugar Method For the compote: 1. Cut the strawberries in half, and put in a pan with the sugar and lemon juice.

2. Heat gently until the sugar dissolves, then bring to a simmer.

3. Cover the pan and cook the strawberries for three minutes or until dark red and syrupy.

4. Cool, then add the balsamic vinegar.

To make the custard: 1. In a heavy bottom pan, bring the double cream and milk to the boil.

2. Whisk the egg yolk and caster sugar in a bowl, then add the hot milk and cream.

3. Return all the ingredients back into the pan. Gently heat, stirring constantly.

When it starts to thicken enough to coat the back of the spoon, it’s ready.

4. Strain the mixture into a clean bowl and set aside to cool.

To serve: Spoon the compote into individual glasses.

Layer over the fool mix on top and serve with almond biscuits or shortbread.

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THE BEST RESTAURANT REVIEWS Castlehill Exchange Street, Dundee DD1 3DL www.castlehillrestaurant.co.uk ■ Word continues to spread that 23-year-old Head Chef Adam Newth is doing something pretty special in Dundee. In Scotland on Sunday, Richard Bath hailed Newth, as possibly “the biggest thing to hit the city since Desperate Dan”. Praising his “on trend” dishes, Bath reckoned that Newth’s cooking “may be fine dining” but that this had not led to a “buttoned-up” atmosphere at the recently-opened restaurant.

Despite initial concerns about “eccentric combinations”, the critic thought a starter of monkfish cheek and pomegranate “worked beautifully” while a main course of slow-cooked spring lamb was judged “absolutely perfect”.

The highlight of the meal was a dessert of rhubarb vacherin. This was a “delicately flavoured sweet cheese mousse” with “tender strips of rhubarb” which brought an “excellent meal” to a “thoroughly enjoyable finale”.

The reviewer had worried that Castlehill had been over-hyped. However, those worries turned out to be “well wide of the mark”. While emphasising the chef’s young years, Bath judged that he was more than a “safe pair of hands” and that “even greater” culinary successes were expected of Chef Newth in the years to come.

Score: 9/10 Scotland on Sunday

Ox and Finch

Locanda de Gusti

Corrieri’s

Eat on the Green

920 Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow G3 7TF www.oxandfinch.com

Dalry Road, Edinburgh EH11 2DW www.locandadegusti.com

Alloa Road, Stirling FK9 5LH www.corrieris.co.uk

Udny Green, Ellon AB41 7RS www.eatonthegreen.co.uk

Following on from Ron Mackenna’s glowing review in The Herald, Joanna Blythman was just as impressed in the Sunday Herald. Among the highlights of a menu that “read well and tasted better” were “sweet, juicy, British asparagus”; a “crusty confit” of free range chicken leg and an inspired combination of seared scallops, cauliflower puree and “aromatic” lardo.

Thanks to good cooking, careful sourcing and “affordable” prices, Blythman reckoned that Ox and Finch could be a “rip-roaring success”, not least because of a kitchen that “talks up” to its customers.

A mixed meal meant The Scotsman’s Gaby Soutar regretted visiting this Italian just two days after it relocated to Edinburgh’s Dalry.

The Neapolitan chef served a great smoked mozzarella while a generous portion of “gnocchetti sardi” was “simple and comforting”. Less welcome was a tough lamb shoulder.

Apologetic staff blamed equipment failure and took it off the bill. Halibut served on the bone redeemed matters as did a “pleasantly powdery and melty” ginger and carrot cake.

Soutar has confidence in the kitchen and, teething problems apart, expects them soon to be “flying”.

Although it is over 50, there is no reason for this Italian institution to change, wrote the Daily Record’s Gary Ralston.

Corrieri’s is as “popular with couples as family groups” and “transforms seamlessly” from cafe to “buzzy” restaurant at night.

A spicy penne pasta plus a pizza with a “thin and crispy crust” met the approval of the reviewer’s family. A tagliatelle dish was so good that it even stopped his six-year old talking about the latest Disney film.

Corrieri’s half century of experience resulted in “faultless service”, “very drinkable house wines” and “consistently high quality” food.

Housed in a “quaint cottage” by a “village lawn”, this restaurant “celebrates good local produce” and has won “a glittering collection of awards”.

Chef patron Craig Wilson, also known as the Kilted Chef, has cooked for the “Hollywood elite” and wowed the reviewer from The Press and Journal.

“Attentive” staff; “an incredible mix of textures and flavours”; beautiful presentation and a fillet steak which “cut like a slab of butter” all added to the experience. Not only was the meal “flawless”, it was “one of the most incredible meals” the reporter has ever eaten.

Score: 10/10 Sunday Herald

Score: 13.5/20 The Scotsman

Score: 27/30 Daily Record

Score: 5/5 The Press and Journal 14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

32 l

PROPERTY

INSIDE OUT – our Pick of the Scottish Market

The White House, 13 Queens Crescent, Gleneagles Offers Over: £750,000 Savills ❘ www.savills.com n The White House is a spectacular modern residence in a prestigious gated development of 14 houses overlooking The Queens Golf Course at Gleneagles.

Previously on the market at £8 million, a closing date of June

20 has now been put on the property – with offers now being sought over £750,000.

The structure of the building, which blends Georgian and Art Deco architectural features, is largely complete, but the property offers buyers the opportunity to finish and decorate the house to their own taste in time to entertain guests at the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles in September.

BIG BUDGET

Whitelea, Murrayfield Drive, Edinburgh Offers Over: £1.195m

Woodside House, by Blairgowrie, Perthshire Offers Over: £995,000

Knight Frank ❘ www.KnightFrank.com

Savills ❘ www.savills.com

n Whitelea is a stunning, contemporary property in a sought after area offering flexible, family accommodation, a beautiful south facing garden and off street parking. It also offers wonderful entertaining spaces and benefits from amazing natural light.

n After over 70 years in its previous family ownership, it required considerable updating and refurbishment. But this substantial Victorian house has been triumphantly restored to its original glory and is in walk-in condition.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

PROPERTY

l 33

CITY LIVING: EDINBURGH Ravelston Park Edinburgh

Riversdale Crescent Edinburgh

Knight Frank

Knight Frank

This stylish flat within walking distance of the West End and Princes Street and is an easy commuting distance from Haymarket.

Offers over: £435,000 ❘ www.KnightFrank.com

❘ www.KnightFrank.com

Offers over: £475,000

Bells Mills Edinburgh

St Bernard’s Crescent Edinburgh

A stunning first floor two bedroom flat with balcony in the popular metropolitan Dean Village, near the Water of Leith.

Coulters ❘ www.coultersproperty.co,uk

❘ www.coultersproperty.co.uk

Coulters

Offers over: £360,000

A quiet, residential Murrayfield street bordered by open grounds next to the international rugby stadium.

Offers over: £325,000 An immaculate first floor two bedroom apartment situated on one of Stockbridge’s finest Georgian crescents.

CLIMBING THE LADDER

27/3 East Preston Street, Edinburgh Offers Over: £249,995

Carters Lodge, Birnam Offers Over: £234,950

Pagan Osborne ❘ www.paganosborne.com

Thorntons ❘ www.thorntons-property.co.uk

n A traditional three bedroom tenement flat located in the popular Newington district close to the University buildings, Commonwealth Pool and Holyrood Park. The decorative cornice work and ceiling rose in the lounge should be of particular note.

n This historically significant stone built B-listed former gatehouse has been split into only three apartments, with apartment two offering a fine position at ground and first floor levels, overlooking the centre of the village.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

34 l

the best travel writing

THE WORLD FROM SCOTLAND

David McKay The Press and Journal

Hong Kong, China

■ In Hong Kong for three days, David McKay had a “fascinating insight” into the city famous for being where “East meets West”. He stayed in the W Hotel in Kowloon which mixed “modern glamour with colonial style”. Each of the rooms featured “dramatic skyline views”, especially at night.

David crossed to Hong Kong Island on the Star Ferry Terminal – a better way to experience the city than by taking tunnels or the MTA subway system. While the ferry gives a great view of the famous harbour, David recommends the Peak Tram for “breathtaking panoramic vistas

of Hong Kong”.

The Graham Street Wet Market is another must-see.

Offering a “welcome assault on the senses”, selling live fish, local fruits, meats and spices. If the market makes you peckish, then the dining out options are extensive. As David notes: “you could eat three times a day for 10 years and never dine in the same place twice.”

Sevva restaurant in the Prince’s Building is picked out for its “excellent food” and its views of the Symphony of Lights laser show which illuminate “44 skyscrapers and landmark buildings around Victoria Harbour”.

Although his visit was brief, David concludes that “there is more than enough here to keep travellers busy for days”.

TRAVEL SCOTLAND

TRAVEL BRITAIN

TRAVEL EUROPE

Mull

Newquay

Algarve

Amy Packer ❘ Scottish Daily Express

Steve Hendry ❘ Sunday Mail

Julia Horton ❘ Scotland on Sunday

■ Staying in Penmore Mill to the north of Mull, Amy Packer enjoyed the island’s extensive wildlife.

The reviewer spotted white-tailed eagles, golden eagles and an otter catching a fish.

“Succulent scallops” from the chip van on the pier were a success while the Am Birlinn restaurant was “divine”.

Tobermory’s “historic whisky distillery” provides atmospheric refuge if the weather is not obliging.

■ Surfing lessons were just one of the attractions Steve Hendry enjoyed in Cornwall. “A chilled-out atmosphere” and a “lovely Cornish tea” in Martha’s tearoom all made it “very easy to relax”.

Swerving the stag parties, Steve drew attention to family-friendly features such as Newquay Activity Centre and the Blue Reef Aquarium. After the damage caused by storms earlier this year, Cornwall is “now very much open for business”.

■ Featuring “vast” suites and an infinity pool, the new, five star Conrad Algarve is “modelled on an 18th century Portuguese palace in Quinta da Lago”, writes Julia Horton.

The food is “immaculately presented” even if a menu for mineral water was “baffling”. While golf is “arguably the main draw” of the Algarve, Julia enjoyed a visit to the Ria Formosa Park, one of the “seven natural wonders of Portugal”.

TRAVEL NEWS Holiday spend up

According to the annual UK Tourism Dynamics report issued by Barclays Bank, UK consumers have been making more overseas bookings. At the same time, staycations are also increasingly popular.

The report predicts that

“by 2017, total expenditure by domestic and overseas tourists in the UK is expected to increase by 27% to just over £135.5bn”.

Alex Francis, CEO of loveholidays.com, said: “Since 2012 we have noticed a steady increase of 430% in overseas travel bookings and whilst this cannot be attributed solely to

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

the improving economy, we are confident that this has helped.”

Let’s keep dancing London’s Ritz has extended its weekly dinner dance to two nights.

Live at the Ritz now takes place on Friday and Saturday evenings in The Ritz Restaurant. Peter O’Donnell

leads the band while dancers perform the tango, rumba and salsa. Guests can enjoy a four-course dinner to a backdrop of classic and contemporary tunes, before putting on their dancing shoes and taking a turn on the dance floor.

Spaces can be booked online (from £95 per person) at www.theritzlondon.co.uk.

THE BEST OF the great outdoors the garden experts Hack away at indestructible plant ■ Gardeners worried that their butterfly bushes are growing out of control should have no concerns about a spot of drastic pruning, the Sunday Mail’s Carol Klein said.

She told readers “buddleias are almost indestructible” and said they will still “recover strongly” if pruned with a saw to “within a couple of feet from the ground”.

In fact, she said, flower spikes will “be bigger and more showy” for the effort.

Outstanding azaleas ■ The early months of summer can be “a bit quiet” for gardeners, The Courier’s John Stoa said.

But once flowers begin to bloom gardens become a riot of colour and the air becomes “heavy” with the scent of azaleas and lilac.

Stoa said this year has been particularly good for both azaleas (above) and rhododendrons.

The meaning of life is tomatoes ■ For Canadian Angelique Iles, who is working at Clyde Valley Tomatoes in Carluke, growing vegetables is key to a fulfilling life.

Writing in The Scotsman, she said that according to psychologist Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, food is the “most human need”.

She said growing tomatoes is one way of meeting this but added there is far more too it. She said the “ultimate level” of Maslow’s Hierarchy is “selfactualisation, where you find the meaning in your life and your place in the world”. Growing tomatoes for local people, she said, has given her that feeling.

OOT AND ABOOT! A muddy good time

No so easy rider

■ This weekend hundreds of “brave, mad or masochistic” Scots will take part in Tough Mudder events in Dalkeith, said Gayle Ritchie in The Courier.

She said the 10 to 12-mile obstacle course, where runners have to negotiate dangling wires that deliver electric shocks and a pool of icy water called the “Arctic enema”, has grown massively in popularity since it launched in 2010.

■ The recent successes of British cyclists like Sir Chris Hoy and Sir Bradley Wiggins have led to a boom in the popularity of the sport.

And environmentally, people are always being encourage to opt for a greener mode of transport such as a bike rather than taking a car for short journeys.

But Glasgow woman Joanna Smith has used her bike to traverse entire

continents – more than 22,000 kilometres in fact.

She told The Scotsman’s Sunnah Khan that after completing the Camino de Santiago pilgrim route from France to Spain, her taste for solo cycling prompted her to attempt an even bigger challenge.

She flew to Vancouver and embarked on a mammoth journey to the southernmost point of South America.

Her trip, inspired by her mother, took two years.

l 35

NATURE’S BEST ■ Scientists are aiming to find out more about Scotland’s whales, dolphins and porpoises.

Experts are covering an area between the Mull of Kintyre in the south, Cape Wrath in the north and St Kilda in the west to gather information on cetaceans and basking sharks in Scotland’s seas.

■ Rare spring butterflies made an appearance several weeks earlier than they did in 2013, according to The Scotsman’s Emily Beament.

That was put down to the recent warm weather, with some of the rarest species, including the Lulworth skipper, appearing in May – as opposed to July, when they appeared last year.

■ The Scottish SPCA appealed for help after a dead crocodile (below) was found in South Lanarkshire.

The West African Dwarf Crocodile was spotted in water at Carnwath Golf Course near Biggar with tape around its head and straw stuck in its legs.

SSPCA officials said it looked like someone had tried to stuff the animal.

Weather Warmest – Drumnadrochit 22C (72F)

Coldest –

Cairngorm Mountains 2C (35F)

Wettest –

RAF Lossiemouth 2.12in

Sunniest – Dyce 9.7hrs

Weather round-up: Promises, promises, but the Met Office has claimed Britain has a one in four chance of enjoying the “hottest summer ever”, said The Scotsman’s Shan Ross.

Forecasters released the three-month weather outlook for the UK for June to August which revealed that sun worshippers are likely to enjoy temperatures near or above average over the summer. Milder summer nights could push the average temperatures up to near record highs, it has been suggested.

“From mid-June to early July, the indications are that the weather will be close to what is climatologically normal for this time of year – giving us a tendency for occasional spells of unsettled weather interspersed with fine and warm spells,” the Met Office blog said.

In terms of the immediate forecast, The Scottish Sun claimed “soggy Scots” are due to get some respite from the wet weather as high pressure moves.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

l 37

CONSUMER

Three of the best... Father’s Day fragrances

tried and tested

Whether your dad is a wannabe footballer, singer or actor, maybe the fact Father’s Day falls this weekend means it is time to indulge him with a celebrity fragrance in his ‘field’.

ay

Father’s D

GIFT ideas

Roberts Vintage DAB/FM RDS Portable Radio £106.91 Amazon

David Beckham Classic Eau de Toilette £19.00

Go retro with this radio, which has unlimited station presets, a favourite station button and also helps the environment with a built-in battery charger.

Gold Jay-Z Eau de Toilette £25.00

Jack Eau de Parfum £95.00

David Beckham has turned his hand to many things away from football, and creating an aftershave is yet another endeavour.

So if you can’t look like Beckham, you can at least smell like him with this woody, citrus spicy scent. It’s a modern, masculine fragrance that smells fresh and spicy on first spritz, with fresh citrusy top notes of gin and tonic and lime.

The Gold Jay-Z bottle is nothing short of bling but the scent is surprisingly clean. It’s ideal for guys who prefer something fresher than some of the spicier scents out there.

It’s described as a fragrance blended with the brightness of grapefruit and ginger warmed with cardamom, a heart of masculine vetiver and a base of rich amber and smoky myrrh, smoothed with teak wood and bourbon vanilla.

Actor Richard E. Grant’s first foray into fragrance is surprisingly addictive with earthy and citrus notes and cheeky top notes of lime, marijuana and mandarin. The scent lasts all day but isn’t overbearing on application.

The only problem you might find is that it’s unisex – unusual for a celebrity fragrance in that respect – so you may find your partner takes a fancy to it.

www.boots.com

www.superdrug.com

www.liberty.co.uk

Hotel Chocolat For My Dad Collection £39.00 Hotel Chocolat

Those with a sweet tooth can enjoy Salted Caramel Puddles, a ‘Pocket Selection’, Hazelnuts and Nibs, a selection of dark bars and even Cocoa Beer.

Men’s Shaving Bag £25.00 Sew Lomax

Dads can look groomed to perfection with the help of Sew Lomax’s shaving bag, embroidered with shaving brush, cream and razor design.

DRIVE TIME

Renault Clio GT Line 120 Price from £17,395

Audi S1

Iain Dooley ❘ The Scotsman

Price from £24,900 Matt Joy ❘ The Press and Journal

The GT Line should appeal to buyers “seeking decent performance” minus the “unwelcome boy racer baggage”.

One should not “expect miracles” from the Clio’s 1.2-litre petrol motor, but the “firm but measured” suspension and steering means “B-road blasts are more fun than they really should be given the car’s modest output”.

There are cheaper and more powerful “warm” performance hatches, but those who “value the experience behind the wheel higher than whizz-bang gadgets” will surely appreciate the Clio.

It strikes a “good balance between pace and refinement”.

Grown-ups who want a “small hot hatch with more quality than the norm” will relish the new S1.

Some other cars might come close in terms of the “fun factor” but the S1’s “outright speed” is “hard to beat”.

In terms of its looks, the new S1 is an improvement on the standard S1 – already considered “one of Audi’s best looking cars”.

Although “unquestionably small”, it is deceivingly spacious inside and, although “sensitive backsides may find the ride a little firm”, the S1 is a “complete hoot, feels indecently rapid and handles with real verve”.

Volkswagen Golf R Price from £31,315 Phil Lanning ❘ The Scottish Sun The presence of the Audi S3 and the BMW 135i on the market means the Golf R simply had to be good.

But Volkswagen has delivered the most powerful version of the legendary family car to date.

The exterior and interior may be “more subtle than sensational”, but the real beauty of the Golf is that you get “all the power and the practicality”.

The R is “in its element” roaring around roads and the noise – “an ASBO-winning racket” – is “out of this world” so, to use a golfing pun, it really is a “fantastic drive”.

A real “wolf in sheep’s clothing” that “truly hits the sweet spot”.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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BUSINESS & FINANCE Hired, Fired & RETIRED

£300m windfarm go-ahead leaves campaigners in a spin Energy Minister accused of putting the interests of big business ahead of Scotland’s national interest after giving green light to controversial SSE array in the Great Glen.

■ Fergus Ewing faced a furious backlash after granting consent for the 242MW Stronelairg development high above Loch Ness.

The 67-turbine development will produce enough electricity for 114,000 homes and will play a key role in pushing Scotland towards the government’s target of generating 100% of electricity demand from renewable sources by 2020.

The Minister hailed SSE’s commitment to provide £30m of economic benefits to the Highlands during the 25-year lifetime of the scheme.

However, financial pledges failed to win over campaigners who reacted with fury to the Stronelairg approval.

Wild land protection charity John Muir Trust and the Mountaineering Council of Scotland blasted the decision.

The number of projects supported by foreign direct investment in Scotland increased last year by

8%

.

However, the figure was well below the 15% UK-wide uplift reported in a new EY survey.

NEWSPAPERS SAY The Stronelairg consent was picked up by the Strathspey and Badenoch Herald which described the development as “massive.”

The paper quoted local SNP MSP Dave Thompson who described the go-ahead as “fantastic news” for the local area and “Highlands as a whole.”

Regional broadcaster STV also picked up on Mr Thompson’s comments but ran a counterpoint from Scottish Conservative energy spokesman Murdo Fraser who said the decision was further evidence of the Scottish Government’s “obsession” with onshore wind and said the “rural beauty” of the Highlands was at risk.

The professional services group said its study showed Scotland had maintained its position as the UK’s number one inward investment destination for global moneymen outside of London.

Development body SDI hailed a 70% increase in R&D projects attracting support.

International operations director Neil Francis said the upsurge reinforced Scotland’s “leading edge” in the fields of science and technology.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Writing in the Daily Record, Scott McCulloch said the Stronelairg array had been downsized from the original 83-turbine project “in order to mitigate landscape and visual impacts.”

The Courier reported Scotland’s Mountaineering Council chief officer David Gibson’s outrage at the approval.

He said the decision left him fearful about an pending Scottish planning policy update which he said was supposed to “protect” Scotland’s landscape.

Mr Gibson said if the Stronelairg decision was a benchmark then there was “little hope” for the future.

The Herald reported similar concerns from the John Muir Trust and quoted head of policy Helen McDade who said the views of “powerful multinational” SSE appeared to “hold greater sway” over ministers than its own “expert body.”

She said Scottish Natural Heritage had expressed fears the array would “destroy” a key area of wild land.

■ The chief executive of Enterprise North East Trust has been appointed an honorary professor at the University of Dundee.

The Press and Journal reported Gary McEwan was working with the university to establish it as the leading entrepreneurial campus in Scotland.

■ A US-based pioneer in biotech laser development who was once named as Silicon Valley’s entrepreneur of the year has joined Glasgow lighting technology firm mLED. The Scotsman’s Dominic Jeff said that Tom Baer, currently a director of the Stanford Photonics Center and a consulting professor at the world-renowned university, had taken up a non-executive role with the firm.

■ International perfomance textiles group Low & Bonar has appointed Brett Simpson as successor to outgoing chief executive Steve Good.

Mr Simpson will take over at the helm of the firm, which has its roots in the Dundee area and which retains a major manufacturing base in the city, in September.

BUSINESS & finance WEEK IN NUMBERS

2,705

The number of new Scottish start-up businesses in the first quarter of 2014, according to the Committee of Scottish Clearing Banks. Despite improvements in the economy, the figure was 269 below the new 2,974 new starts seen in the same period last year and less than half the 5,550 registered in the first quarter of 2008 before the downturn took full hold.

£10 billion

The Press and Journal reported that oil giant BP could face further fines running into 11 figures after the US appeal court upheld a ruling over pollution violations relating to the 2010 Macondo disaster.

22

The total number of scheduled flights per week in and out of Dundee Airport.

The Herald reported that the Department for Transport had agreed a £2.85m public service obligation to keep a Loganair operated link to London Stansted flying for the next two years.

Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander said Dundee was a “key economic hub” and he was delighted the service was being retained.

Poverty trap Debt burden takes toll ■ Thousands of Scots are on the breadline after seeing their finances spiral out of control.

The Scotland Debt report named Kilbirnie in North Ayrshire as the country’s worst town for personal insolvency.

The area has been an employment blackspot since the Glengarnock steelworks closed its doors in the 1980s.

New car sales are driving ahead in Scotland. New figures show 17,800 cars were registered north of the border last month, a

11.1% uplift on May 2013. More than 5,000 Ford Fiestas have been sold in Scotland this year according to SMTA figures, but only one RollsRoyce.

£700m

The amount of EU oil imports and exports The Times reported had been accidently missed from official trade balance statistics.

Miles Costello said HM Revenue & Customs failure to include the North Sea revenues in the latest figures meant the deficit had been wrongly widened out to £9.6bn instead of £8.9bn.

Kilbirnie’s insovency rate of 71 cases per 10,000 head of population is eight times that of affluent Keith in Moray, and almost treble the Scottish average.

John Baird of Scotland Debt said personal insolvency was as much a problem in small rural places as in recognised areas of multiple deprivation.

Legal challenge for establishment ■ A major rival to the Central Belt’s dominant legal firms has emerged following the latest Scottish law firm merger.

The Courier reported that Dundee’s longestablished Thorntons legal practice was merging with two of the leading players in Fife, Murray Donald and Steel Eldridge Stewart.

The paper said the enlarged practice would continue to trade as Thorntons and employ 400 staff including 40 senior partners.

Business editor Graham Huband said the new firm would be able to give the Central Belt’s legal “giants” a run for their money with annual revenues of circa £20 million.

The merger was also picked up by Perry Gourley in The Scotsman who said the move followed a pattern of consolidation in the sector in recent years.

COMMENTATORS SAY

£1.7m

The pay package available to TSB’s new chief executive.

The Independent’s Jim Armitage said Paul Pester had admitted it was a “lot of money” but was a fitting sum for the job of running the soon-to-float bank.

l 39

Challenger banks progress ■ All eyes were on Lloyds as the banking group put a price of £1.3 billion on TSB ahead of its imminent floatation.

The new challenger bank is being hived off by the Edinburgh-registered Lloyds as a condition of the state-aid it received during the recession.

Across town at Haymarket, Tesco Bank was also grabbing the headlines after launching its first ever Clubcard-points accruing current account.

The Scotsman’s Martin Flanagan said the “challenger” threat to the UK’s big five banks was “more symbolic than practical.”

He said that while a partial float and a new account were hardly “game-changing events” they did show smaller operators were progressing.

The Guardian’s Rupert Jones noted Tesco’s move came 18 years after the supermarket first dipped its toe in banking.

Jill Treanor exclaimed “at last” in her analysis piece for the same paper.

She said the launch came after years of “delays and prevarication” after Tesco took full control of the bank in 2008.

Herald View said Tesco Bank’s flightpath had been impressive since it “jettisoned” joint venture partner RBS.

talking heads “When I left work and started working as a hobby, I chose to raise cattle. I have something like 1,000 bullocks and, having listened to your presentation, Dalton, you’ve got a lot more bulls**t than me.”

An incredulous former Morrison’s supermarket group chairman Sir Ken Morrison lets fly at current CEO Dalton Philips at the firm’s annual meeting following a torrid year.

“Seeing our chests and boxes used in Maleficent was another dream come true for me.”

Carl Morenikeji of Fifebased retailer Scaramanga speaks of his delight after his company’s products were used as props during filming of Angelina Jolie’s new blockbuster movie.

“As more people move into the middle class in emerging markets, the whole history suggeststhey turn to Scotch whisky as a status symbol.”

Scotch Whisky Associaiton chief executive David Frost tells The Herald’s Mark Williamson of his confidence for the sector.

“The civil engineering and building market is still extremely competitive.”

Bruce Clark, MD of independent Scottish building firm RJ McLeod.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

l 41

SPORT Murray hoping Mauresmo can make the difference

Scotland watches from afar as England’s World Cup party gets started in Brazil ■ England get their World Cup campaign underway against Italy this weekend, while Scottish football fans can only look on and wonder what might have been.

Still, we’re getting used to that scenario after 16 years of looking on from afar, and the Scottish media will still have plenty to say on the tournament – and in particular how Roy Hodgson’s men are performing.

The Guardian’s Scottish columnist Kevin McKenna said he would be “rooting for the Three Lions” as usual, also to “shame Scotland’s tiresome anti-England brigade”.

On the other hand though, The Herald’s Hugh MacDonald said he would have to “negotiate the England factor”, noting that England head out to World Cups as “misguided as a lemming heading for a picnic near a cliff”.

The Sunday Times hinted Scotland should probably be glad not to be in South America – if the ill-fated 1978 campaign in Argentina was anything to go by.

Their story carried an interview with Graeme Souness, who said: “The omens were bad from the start when the clutch burned out on the bus taking us there.

“The gardeners and even some waiters carried machine guns to protect us and there was a temporary wire fence... which may either have been to keep trespassers out or to keep us in.”

Meanwhile, the SFA itself has also had its say on the continued furore surrounding the decision to award Qatar the 2022 World Cup, with chief executive Stewart Regan confirming that it is their view there must be a re-draw if any wrongdoing is proven.

■ Following a French Open campaign which ended in a semi-final defeat to eventual winner Rafael Nadal, Andy Murray began his preparations for Wimbledon by appointing two-time Grand Slam winner Amélie Mauresmo as his new coach.

Having been coached for years by his mum Judy, Murray stressed that working with a woman “doesn’t feel like a very different thing” and they have teamed up for the first time this week for the Aegon Championships at Queen’s Club.

The Guardian’s Kevin Mitchell said the appointment of Mauresmo as Ivan Lendl’s replacement will either turn out to be “inspired or problematic” but “should not be dull”.

Writing for the Press Association, Eleanor Crooks said it was clear Murray is not afraid to “break the mould” and said the move should be seen as “highly significant for women” as a whole.

OTHER NEWS Scotland slide in rankings Despite some promising results of late, Scotland dropped five places in the latest FIFA world rankings.

Gordon Strachan’s men fell to 27th, largely by virtue of other teams’ results, while England broke back into the top 10.

Spare a thought for the Republic of Ireland though, as Scotland’s Euro 2016 qualifying opponents Ireland slid four places to a record low of 70th.

Scots off target in another World Cup bid Scotland had been tipped to do well in at least one World Cup competition – the darts version – but found themselves on the end of a shock exit at the quarter-final stages.

Northern Ireland’s Brendan Dolan was the star man as they beat the Scots 2-1 to reach the semi-finals. Dolan firstly defeated Peter Wright 4-2 in their singles clash.

Robert Thornton levelled things up with win over Michael Mansell, but the Scots lost the pairs decider to crash out. The Netherlands beat England in the final.

Special tribute to Bally The late Elena Baltacha – who died of liver cancer in April – has been awarded a posthumous Lifetime Fed Cup Heart accolade, reported the Scottish Daily Mail.

An emotional Judy Murray accepted the award at the draw for the 2015 Fed Cup at Roland Garros on behalf of her family.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ Thousands of pounds are being spent by football fans across Scotland trying to fill Panini World Cup sticker albums.

No shock there, you would think. But the biggest surprise is that a significant proportion of collectors are grown men and women.

The Financial Times’ Adam Jones pointed out how social media was “coming to the rescue of enthusiasts too old for playground swaps”, with adults taking to Twitter in search of their most-needed stickers.

The Daily Record’s Sandy Kilpatrick also revealed how brothers James and John Patterson, aged 34 and 30 respectively, spent over £1,000 to complete an album.

The paper said the hobby “quickly escalated into a 20 packet-a-day habit” for John, from Annan, who amassed 4,000 “doubles” in his “bid to bag the elusive Uruguayan midfielder Gaston Ramirez”.

Indeed, The Scottish Sun highlighted research which said a fan would have to buy 899 packs at 50p each to fill all 640 slots.

14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

42 l

SPORT Medal hopes rise as Sharp and Muir excel

Start as you mean to go on...

Solid first outing for Cotter’s new look Scotland “They threw everything at us and made ground.

“They’re good ball carriers, they’re a good team.

“Obviously I’m happy because we got the win.

“I thought the players, despite the difficult conditions, played well.

“With certain things, as all coaches will say, we have to do better next week and we’re working on those.”

Cotter would also have been content with the performances of debutants Blair Cowan, Gordon Reid and Finn Russell, all three of whom started at the

BBVA Compass Stadium, and Alex Allan, who claimed his first Scotland cap as a secondhalf substitute.

Next up for the new look Scots is a match against Canada and Cotter freely admitted his team will need to “step up” their game when the teams meet this weekend.

“They have probably got a little bit more variety in their game,” he explained.

Glasgow pair Peter Horne and Tim Swinson joined up with the squad on Monday to replace the injured Duncan Taylor and Jim Hamilton.

forthcoming games against ■ ‘So far, so good’ seemed Canada, Argentina and South to be the general consensus Africa will be much tougher among media types after the assignments. win against the USA. But he suggested a The Scotsman’s Iain “precious away win” should Morrison said the match itself not be “snottily sniffed at”. had been “sub-standard” and Writing in the Scottish Daily labelled the Scots “competent Mail, former player Andy rather than inspired”, leading Nicol said Cotter would have him to suggest that “we will been “fairly happy with the need to see a little more from performance” but noted his side before the Kiwi is there was still “room for hailed as the next big thing”. improvement”.

Still, according to Steve Nevertheless, he said the Scott in The Courier, the game Scots coped with some hot over in the US was the kind and humid conditions well and of “potential banana skin the added: “It was a good start for Scots have proved adept at Scotland under a new coach, stepping on in recent times”. with new caps blooded and He noted that the Scots a reasonable performance in might have won “handily” tough conditions. if they had been better “The most important thing is at grounding the ball, and conceded that the that they won the game and, the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

being a cussed Kiwi, that will be all Cotter is concerned about.”

Indeed, The Herald’s Alasdair Reid also focused on Cotter’s personality traits and suggested the Kiwi was, like Jim Telfer before him, “one of those fellows who is never satisfied until he has a lengthy to-do list on his desk”.

But he lauded an “impressively solid and efficient display” which saw “a lot of boxes ticked”.

“An already daunting schedule – they will play in Canada, Argentina and South Africa over the next few weeks – would have looked far more harrowing had they launched with the sort of drab defeat that has opened too many tours in the past,” he said.

■ Scottish rugby started its new era in Texas, and new head coach Vern Cotter would have been suitably pleased with the outcome.

The Scots ran out comfortable enough 24-6 winners over the USA and tries from Tim Visser and Stuart Hogg contributed to a winning margin many felt should have been far greater.

Captain Greig Laidlaw kicked nine of the points, adding to the Visser and Hogg scores and a penalty try.

“That’s a good start because the States didn’t give up,” he said.

COMMENTATORS SAY

■ Hopes of home medals on the track at Glasgow 2014 have been heightened after excellent performances by athletes Laura Muir and Lynsey Sharp at a meet in the Netherlands.

Muir (below) was second behind local favourite Sifan Hassan in the 1,500m but recorded a personal best of 4:02:91 to stand her in good stead for the Commonwealth Games.

Sharp was fourth in the 800m but delivered an “emphatic” showing, according to The Scotsman’s Mark Woods, to put her into second place in the Commonwealth rankings.

Quick FIRE ■ A source close to the SFA claimed plans to look at moving away from Hampden will not harm Scotland’s Euro 2020 bid.

Press Association

■ East Stirling have written to English giants Chelsea asking to play a match overdue by 50 years. Documents revealed the transfer of Eddie McCreadie between the clubs in 1962 came with a stipulation – that the clubs played one home game and one away – so the Scottish club hope Chelsea will fulfil their end of the bargain.

Scottish Daily Mail

SPORT

good week

QUOTES

Gibraltar

“What happened against Wales was a complete brain fart.”

Scotland fans dreaming of qualification for Euro 2016 probably thought the two games against Gibraltar in the group would guarantee us points.

Maybe not.

The newbies recorded their first ever victory – a 1-0 success over Malta – and boss Allen Bula said he believed the minnows could give Scotland a fright.

Gary Hooper

Stuart hogg The Scotland full-back put his red card v Wales behind him in the US

■ Pupils from Alexandra Parade Primary highlight the Queen’s Baton Relay route through Glasgow before the Commonwealth Games.

The former Celtic striker has suddenly become a wanted man again.

Hooper is set to leave Norwich City following their relegation to the English Championship and QPR and Aston Villa are just two of the clubs chasing his signature.

Celtic could be in line for a six-figure sum from any move.

BAD week

Geoff Cross

The Scottish rugby prop decided to play against the USA, despite receiving the news his father Robin had passed away a few days earlier.

Coach Vern Cotter hailed his star, adding: “Brave, brave, what else can you say?”

Scots pair at Pinehurst ■ Greenock golfer Chris Doak is flying the flag for Scotland alongside Stephen Gallacher at the US Open at Pinehurst.

The 36-year-old (above) contested his first US Open and maiden major at Merion in 2013 and made an early trip across the Atlantic to boost his preparations for North Carolina and his second consecutive US Open appearance.

“The majors is where everybody wants to be playing and it’s just incredible to be now playing in two US Opens in a row,” he said.

“It’s just so special to be playing a US Open as you grow up as a kid watching TV coverage of the majors, so the US Open is extra special to me having qualified last year.”

Meanwhile, Ryder Cup hopeful Gallacher will be looking to boost his chances of a place on the European team at Gleneagles with a decent showing Stateside.

Gallacher narrowly lost out to Thailand’s Thongchai Jaidee in a play-off at the Nordea Masters in Malmo recently but has been playing well of late and could be one of the contenders this weekend.

Englishman Justin Rose will be defending his title.

Daniel Sturridge

The Liverpool striker took a sore one as Celtic defender Emilio Izaguirre blootered the ball into a sensitive area during England’s ‘friendly’ draw with Honduras.

He was also hit by a beer can thrown from the crowd during the storm-affected fixture.

l 43

“We scored tries and we didn’t get a try scored against us.” vern cotter At least the new coach knows the game...

“I just had to keep peddling until I was over the line.”

TROY BRESNAN The Aussie won round three of the mountain biking Downhill World Cup at Fort William

“Personally I don’t think he needs a coach.”

■ Scottish actor James McAvoy tangles with England’s Paddy McGuiness during the celebrity Soccer Aid fund-raiser.

Mats Wilander The former Swedish tennis star approves of Andy Murray’s choice of coach but felt he could go it alone 14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

44 l

SPORT

OFF

Deila into the lions’ den at Celtic ■ A new dawn has broken at Celtic and one thing is for sure: new manager Ronny Deila will have to hit the ground running.

The 38-year-old is settling into life in the spotlight after leaving Norwegian champions Stromgodset to replace Neil Lennon at the helm of the Glasgow giants on a 12-month rolling contract.

Most of the Scottish media (pictured above, grilling Deila upon his arrival at Parkhead) seemed impressed by the candidate who emerged from left-field to secure the hotseat.

However, Deila knows full well he will be judged on what success he brings to the Hoops and their faithful.

On paper, Celtic fans can expect an attack-minded coach who worked wonders on a limited budget in Norway’s Tippeligaen and who has drawn comparisons with Jurgen Klopp at Dortmund.

As ever though, Champions League qualification is now viewed as a benchmark of success at Celtic – meaning Deila has his work cut out from the outset.

“I know what I want for

Celtic and our supporters and that is the best of everything, it is what our fans deserve,” he said.

After days of speculation over Lennon’s successor were brought to end with Delia’s entrance stage left, Celtic chief executive Peter Lawwell maintained the new man in charge was one of the first candidates considered.

“We believe Ronny will prove to be a fresh and dynamic new manager and someone who will give us a bright and energetic way forward,” he commented.

COMMENTATORS SAY admitted it was a “good time” ■ Appointing Deila had its “obvious risk” for Celtic, noted for Deila to take the job.

But he stressed it was simply Graham Spiers in The Herald. “impossible to predict” how Highlighting Old Firm failures the Norwegian will handle it. like John Barnes, Paul Le The Scottish Daily Mail’s Guen and Tony Mowbray, the Stephen McGowan said fact Deila had previously been some Celtic fans would echo earmarked for the assistant the view of former striker role under Neil Lennon Andy Walker, who described prompted Spiers to question Deila’s appointment as whether Deila had been fast“underwhelming”. tracked, and whether he was McGowan said that would ready. have “some traction” with There will be “no beddingsupporters who would have in period” for the new man, preferred Henrik Larsson or and “no sympathy” would be Roy Keane, but he said Deila shown for being young and “cut an impressive and surerelatively untried. footed figure, combining quiet “Managers of Stromsgodset might get that luxury,” he said. confidence with conviction “Managers of Celtic do not.” and humility”.

The same paper’s Michael Deila will face a “stressful Grant described Celtic as baptism”, suggested Alan “imaginative and forwardPattullo in The Scotsman, thinking” with their choice and given that Celtic will play the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

their first Champions League qualifiers at Murrayfield, and he also pointed out that if Deila does fail, he won’t be the first to have “performed so immaculately at an introductory press conference, only to flounder when he got down to the business of winning football matches”.

He has been given a “weighty-sounding brief”, but highlighted the fact he fulfilled a pledge to strip off if Stromgodset escaped relegation five years ago as proof Deila had a refreshing “madcap side” to him.

The Scottish Sun’s Tam Cowan joked that headline writers will be “rubbing their hands” – “Deila M For Murder!

Ronny No Dae That? – if it doesn’t work out, but wished him well.

THE BALL

■ The domestic season may be over but BBC Radio Scotland’s hit football show continued with hosts Stuart Cosgrove and Tam Cowan welcoming author Christopher Brookmyre and footballer Stephen McManus to the programme.

■ Among the topics discussed were listeners’ fancies for the World Cup, which is now underway, and what type of pants people prefer.

■ This week’s Team of the Week was the Jewellery XI featuring gems like Tommy Ring, Zander Diamond and Sir Bobby Moore.

“We’re in a good place,” insists Wallace ■ Rangers chief executive Graham Wallace risked the ire of some supporters by suggesting the Ibrox club is “in a good place” – despite ongoing concern about the League One champions’ finances.

The Union of Fans group has urged fans to withhold season ticket money to show their anger at the board, sparking doubts as to whether or not the club could meet the sales figures required for next season.

But Wallace told fans at an event in Canada that fans will have more say.

“Fans should be confident and comfortable with the club’s long-term stability,” he commented.

SPORT

good week

QUOTES

Hearts

The Edinburgh club have formally exited administration, this after being pushed to the brink of extinction earlier this year, and owner Ann Budge can now look to the future.

The Scotsman reported how Budge has promised that the club will now be run so that “the spectre of Hearts disappearing forever” will never return.

With some signings already lined up, fans have been told to expect further new faces as the job of rebuilding for the Championship continues at Tynecastle.

“I will treasure this opportunity.”

RONNY deila The new Celtic manager was honoured to become Parkhead boss

“Rangers is a special football club and we are on the rise again.”

■ Angry Hibs supporters vented their anger at a rally outside Easter Road and demanded the resignation of chairman Rod Petrie. Ex-Hibs stars Paul Kane and Mickey Weir were among the speakers.

HEADLINES

Val McDermid

The Scottish crime writer (below) received widespread coverage after being announced as the new shirt sponsor of Championship outfit Raith Rovers.

The author already sponsors the away stand at Stark’s Park.

Boyd has “big decision”

BAD week Terry Butcher

Speculation about his sacking was rife following Hibs’ relegation, and the Easter Road club confirmed Butcher had been relieved of his duties.

The ex-England captain only took charge in November but paid the price for Hibs’ demotion.

It is the clean slate new CEO Leeann Dempster wanted, and what happens next is anyone’s guess.

“I’ve got the ball now, the responsibility is on me, the focus needs to go on me,” she told The Scotsman, deflecting criticism from the board.

l 45

■ Striker Kris Boyd should not be too far away from confirming where his future lies, amid interest from a number of clubs.

The 30-year-old forward, whose 22 goals kept Kilmarnock in the top flight last term, said he would “take his time” to consider his next move and admitted it would be a “big decision”.

Options on the table include staying at Rugby Park, but the hitman could be tempted from offers from Aberdeen and Dundee United or from clubs abroad.

KENNY MILLER The former Scotland striker hopes to help Rangers back into the big time after signing for a third time with the Ibrox club

FOOTBALL: Average attendances at Scottish Championship games in 2014/15 could exceed those in the Premiership.

Finance expert Neil Patey told the BBC’s Scotland 2014 programme that the second tier was in for a boom with Hearts, Hibs and Rangers all included. footbaLl: Fans awaiting the start of the new season will find out the new league fixtures on Wednesday, the SPFL confirmed.

SHINTY: Kingussie’s 2-1 win over Lovat booked them a Camanachd Cup quarter-final with last year’s finalists Kyles next month.

Premiership Inveraray thrashed Inverness 6-1 in the day’s other tie.

CANOEING: David Florence won the canoe singles title at the World Cup at Lee Valley.

“You can’t make foie gras with beef.”

David NieLSEN The Stromgodset coach reckons new Celtic boss Ronny Deila will be a success with what he has at Parkhead

“I think there are a few charlatans running our club.”

JACKIE MCNAMARA SNR The Hibs legend did not mince his words when discussing the current board at Easter Road

■ The 4/1 shot Guess Again, ridden by Tom Scudamore, claimed victory in the City of Perth Gold Cup. 14 June 2014 ❘ the stooshie

46 l

COMMENT

FRED SAID Comedian, broadcaster and presenter

FRED MACAULAY

What’s all the racquet?

Fred can handle a bit of heckling when it comes to his comedy. It’s a different matter with tennis though...

■ At Soccer Aid last Sunday I heard Kevin Bridges, when asked about the World Cup, saying that Scotland was a tennis nation now. Andy Murray has brought a lot of happiness to our shores since winning Grand Slams and an Olympic Gold. Andy winning Wimbledon was described by a leading politician as another example of Scotland punching above it’s weight.

My thoughts exactly. Well almost exactly, I reckon it’s a shame that we measure our successes in terms of violence and obesity.

Fair play to Andy then, that having split with coach Ivan Lendl, he’s now employed Amélie Mauresmo as his fulltime tennis coach (that’s her on the left). He’s been asked why he’s chosen a woman. It’s a redundant question. He’s surely chosen the person he thinks will bring out the best in him on the tennis court. Or maybe he just liked the name. I think Amélie is a cracking name and

Clarifications and corrections The Stooshie is committed to journalism of the highest standards and we aim to produce our magazine with accuracy, honesty and fairness. Our journalists adhere to the DC Thomson company values of integrity, respect, commitment and creativity. We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice which is enforced by the Press Complaints Commission. It is our policy to publish clarifications and corrections when necessary and as quickly as possible. You can contact us by email at: editor@thestooshie.co.uk or by writing to: The Readers’ Editor, The Stooshie, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee DD4 8SL.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

if the partnership works out we can look forward to school playgrounds in Scotland being filled with wee Amélies. Some are already, but that’s just mispronunciation of AnneMarie.

It’s an odd relationship between sportsperson and coach. The former pays the latter to tell the former to play better. I wonder if it might work in comedy. I should maybe think about hiring someone to stand at the side of the stage for my next stand up tour to shout. “Be Funnier!”

Well it’d make a change from hearing it from the audience I guess.

I’ve been asked to play a couple of games soon at The Champions of Tennis tournament in Edinburgh In ‘The Rally for Bally’ in memory of the late Elena Baltacha.

John McEnroe will be there.

I might sign him up as coach.

I’m excited at the prospect of getting a tip from a legend like McEnroe. As long as it’s not “Be Funnier!”

The sad news about Rik Mayall ■ Whilst at university and in my first couple of years of employment as an accountant I’d been harbouring notions of trying comedy.

There was a new wave of comedy then and at the forefront in the UK was The Comic Strip which was where I first heard of Rik Mayall. Then he popped up on our screens as Kevin Turvey in A Kick Up The Eighties which was a BBC Scotland production.

I was an instant fan of Rik’s and he was one of my first comedy heroes.

In 1981 I made my first trip to The Comedy Store in London thinking that I might ask if I could try out in the open spot.

I didn’t have the bottle to ask and it took me seven more years to pluck up the courage. In the audience that night was Sting and his new girlfriend Trudie Styler.

Rik Mayall popped in to hang out with the other comics.

At the first interval I found myself standing in the gents between Rik and Sting, but there was no conversation, as we didn’t know one another.

Here I am with the late Rik Mayall recreating that moment some years later but without Sting.

Information about the Code of Practice can be obtained from The Press Complaints Commission at Halton House, 20/23 High Holborn, London EC1N 2JD or email complaints@pcc.org.uk or call 0845 6002757 or 0207 8310022.

Published in Great Britain by D.C. Thomson & Co. Ltd, 185 Fleet Street, London, EC4A 2HS. © D. C. Thomson & Co., Ltd, 2014. Distributed by Marketforce, Blue Fin Building, 110 Southwark Street, London, SE1 0SU. Tel: +44(0) 20 3148 3300 Fax: +44(0) 20 3148 8105 Website: www. marketforce.co.uk

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