The Stooshie Issue 1 Published May 24 2014 by D C Thomson & Co Ltd

may 24 2014 issue no.1 ❘ £2.50

W NE NE ZI GA MA

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Fred MacAulay:

Stooshie Bluffer’s guide to the World Cup

T h e b e st of S cott i sh m e d i a – n e ws

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opinion

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d e bat e

Cross Words

Under Fire

Sexism at the heart of the kirk

Should Scotland’s cops carry guns?

School’s Out

Scotland in days

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24-May-14

Recall: R22 – 30-May-14

Longer weekends for Scottish kids

Homecoming for Calvin

BT Calling Murrayfield...

Big Weekend for superstar Scots DJ

Ringing the changes at home of rugby www.thestooshie.co.uk

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Salmond backs Alex Neil

No smoking matter

Cameron’s power pledge

BT phones home of rugby

Stooshie of the Week: time to end school early?

Editor’s Round-up: That was the week that was

Welcome to The Stooshie, the news magazine that gives you Scotland’s week in a single place. Each week we are on a mission to deliver the news that really matters and the writing that really counts to our readers. We have pored over newspapers, scoured the internet for the best blogs and Tweets and channel-hopped from station to station – all to bring you the finest Scottish journalism in one comprehensive magazine. This week Alex Neil’s past came back to haunt him and he was left fighting for his political life over a decision he made within days of his appointment as health secretary in 2012. Meanwhile, a decision to allow police officers to carry handguns while on routine patrols has provoked ire and consternation in equal measure. It has been a tumultuous few years for Scotland’s education system and now Borders Council is the latest to introduce an “asymmetric school week”, or Friday afternoons off as it’s better known. Our Stooshie of the Week asks whether there is any benefit in cutting the school week. And the football season isn’t quite over yet: we ask if Hibs will follow their city neighbours Hearts through the SPL trapdoor. Read, digest and enjoy!

SCOTTISH WORD OF THE WEEK

drouthy adj ❘ dr 0ı ❘ 1. Thirsty or dry. Usage: “Take a sup,” she said, “maybe you’re drouthy with walking in the sun.” (also see page 10 for example)

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Fred MacAulay talks football

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■ Read all about it! David Cameron and Alex Salmond get Stooshied

Editor-in-chief: Richard Neville Editor: Steve Bargeton Deputy editor: Catriona MacInnes Art director: Aileen Wilkie Content manager: Rory Weller Editorial: Craig Smith, Stefan Morkis, Alastair Bennett Contributors: Brian Donaldson, Robert McNeil, Lucy Penman, James Williamson, Graham Huband

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4 l news

MAIN EVENTS

Intervention row bodes ill for health secretary Alex Salmond resists calls to sack Alex Neil as SNP MSPs are accused of acting like a “slavish cult”. ■ Scottish Government health secretary Alex Neil has, so far, survived calls for his head after being accused of using his ministerial powers to reverse a decision to transfer mental health services in his Lanarkshire constituency. Previous incumbent Nicola Sturgeon had agreed to move 48 beds from Monklands Hospital. Three weeks after his appointment as health secretary, Mr Neil said the future of mental health services were being reviewed but that he was recusing himself

from the decision to avoid any conflict of interest. But it has since emerged his private secretary had already emailed the health department telling them to reverse the decision, prompting Labour to lodge a motion of no confidence. Meanwhile, SNP MSPs have been called a “slavish cult” as committees are failing to hold the government to account. Opposition MSPs on the audit committee published their own report on Police Scotland as they claimed the official document was a whitewash.

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

More must be done to hold the Scottish government to account. Papers were unwilling to suggest Alex Neil should resign for his alleged interference at Monklands Hospital in their leader columns but there was clear concern over whether parliament is scrutinising government policy as it should. The SNP’s landslide victory in the 2011 election has given them unprecedented power but, according to The Scotsman, they must still be held to account. The paper said it takes far more than “just putting a cross next to a name every four years” for democracy to work. Instead the paper said that “searching scrutiny” is necessary to rein back governments and to prevent the introduction of “bad legislation”. It said it appears the audit committee had been trying to “prevent embarrassment” to the Scottish Government. However, The Scotsman said the government must “be mature enough to allow checks and balances” and ensure the committee system functions properly. The Sunday Mail said the “SNP-dominated” audit committee had “been accused of whitewashing criticism” of Police Scotland. It added that parliament committees, not just the audit committee, are “said to being the pocket of ministers”.

Alex Neil’s email which shows he intervened in the decision to remove 48 beds from Monklands Hospital is a “smoking gun” said Euan McColm in Scotland on Sunday. McColm said the email “proves the health secretary painted himself as impartial after passing on his precise instructions” and that as health minister he should not put his own career before the needs of those who rely on the NHS. And McColm said Mr Salmond’s claim the health secretary had “acted properly” was “arrant nonsense”. Sadly, he noted that while he regarded Neil’s actions as indefensible, many are brushing off criticisms as nothing more than “referendum campaign dirty tricks”. The Daily Telegraph’s Alan Cochrane said Neil is one of “Alex Salmond’s better ministers”, hence the reluctance to sack him. But he added Neil is guilty of a “very serious mistake”. The Herald’s Tom Gordon said “the Church of Salmondology” was in full swing as Alex Salmond defended his health minister at First Minister’s Questions. On Think Scotland, Tory MSP Elizabeth Smith asked how the audit committee can function if “party ideology takes precedence over presentation of the facts”. She said there needs to be a “radical review” of the committee system.

Sexism claim at General Assembly Former moderator claims more must be done to tackle “antiquated gangsterism” as Kirk debates independence. ■ After last year’s General Assembly was dominated by the issue of gay clergy, this year’s gathering has proved equally bruising. Former Moderator the Very Reverend Lorna Hood (left) said she had been told she was not welcome in some parishes while Moderator because of her gender. Another former Moderator, the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

the Very Rev David Lacy, said it is time for the Assembly to stamp out discrimination from “grumbling grunters”. Meanwhile, the Kirk also debated Scottish independence and said it would work to heal the political divides in Scotland after September 18, whichever side wins.

EDITORIALS SAY The Church of Scotland has made great strides since women were first ordained as ministers nearly 50 years ago, but The Herald said there are “still pockets” where discrimination still exists. The paper noted that there may be as many as 30 congregations where there are still no women elders and warned that “resistance to change” may put people off the church. John Knox, it concluded, may have warned of the “monstrous

MAIN EVENTS

Chief constable in firing line for arming police Anger at decision to allow trained officers to carry guns on routine patrol. ■ Hundreds of Scottish police officers are now allowed to carry handguns while out on regular patrol. Police Scotland chief constable Stephen House gave permission for his officers to carry the weapons without any approval from parliament. Although justice secretary Kenny MacAskill (above, with Sir Stephen) was informed he had not told MSPs. Mr MacAskill said three forces – Strathclyde, Tayside and Northern – had allowed officers to routinely carry handguns before the creation of Police Scotland in 2013. Previously, firearms were kept under lock and key and officers were only allowed access to them with authorisation from a senior officer. Gun crime is at its lowest in Scotland since 1980 and critics claim arming police will make Scotland less safe. The Scottish Government said the arming officers is an operational matter for Police Scotland and officers could be armed “wherever and whenever”.

regimen of women” but there is no place for such archaic sentiment in the modern Kirk. It is time for the Kirk to take a “determined stand” against its “fundamentalist wing,” The Times said. It said those who fear sexism could provoke a split like the issue of gay clergy did should remind themselves that those “divisions are far less deep” than many believe, as only 20 or so congregations left the Kirk. It said that if the Kirk “values its reputation as a progressive force, in tune with a nation at ease with itself when it comes to sexual attitudes,” it must stand up to the sexists within it.

EDITORIALS SAY

COMMENTATORS SAY

The creation of Police Scotland was all about saving money. But the Scottish Daily Mail said politicians “have rightly voiced concern” about how the relationship between the police and the public has changed. It said chief constable Sir Stephen House had “issued a secret order” that allows specialist officers to carry handguns. And the paper said that “routinely arming even a few hundred officers is a fundamental change to policing” and should have been debated in parliament before being introduced. The Sunday Mail said it is right there is a debate about arming police and whether doing so would “normalise” guns. But it added any decision to arm police should be taken by the people of Scotland and their elected representatives, not the chief constable.

The decision to change the way police deploy firearms has “rightly sparked a political row,” according to one former policeman. Writing in the Scottish Daily Mail former Strathclyde police chief inspector Mike Liddell said parliament should have been consulted over the decision and warned the move is a “retrograde step”. He said the decision “risks the death of innocent civilians” and will permanently change the relationship between police and the public. Another former policeman, The Scotsman’s Hugh Reilly, disagreed. He said the decision is “hardly the stuff of a police state”. Both referred to the Dunblane school massacre. Liddell said there was no way armed police could have stopped the killings. Reilly said police must provide the same protection in rural areas as they do in cities.

COMMENTATORS SAY The Queen may have written to the General Assembly recognising its role in holding the people of Scotland together, but The Herald’s Harry Reid was not convinced. He said the Church of Scotland has “occasionally to its credit, occasionally to its disgrace been a strongly divisive force in Scotland”. He added that the debate over Scottish independence is “robust and mature” but that there has been no indication any “healing” will be necessary

once the votes have been counted. He said “politics is necessarily a divisive business” but that the real divisions within Scottish society – such as poverty – have nothing to do with the independence debate. Over in The Scotsman, Lesley Riddoch said there is no point in talking about reconciliation until after the referendum is done and dusted. What Scots really want, she said, is honest debate. She said it is better to “engage with reality” now than worry about imagined divisions.

news l 5 on the bright side ■ To top a sporting year that will not only see the Commonwealth Games and the Ryder Cup take place in Scotland, it has been confirmed that Glasgow will host the 2014 BBC Sports Personality of the Year. The star-studded event will take place at The SSE Hydro on December 14 in front of an estimated 12,000 capacity crowd and will be shown live on BBC One. ■ MSPs have suggested that fathers should have the same right to flexible working hours as mothers. Holyrood’s equal opportunities committee also said dads are currently being discouraged from attending prenatal and postnatal classes and support groups – and vowed to change that. ■ Scientists at Aberdeen University say they are hopeful their research will bring about a cure for typhoid. The Press and Journal’s Jessica Murphy told how Dr Stefania Spano is leading a team exploring new drug cures – 50 years after a can of corned beef left more than 500 people in hospital and isolated the Granite City from the UK. “Crucially, what we are now seeking to identify is what we would call the ‘killing factor’ – the molecule that essentially delivers the fatal blow,” she told the paper. ■ The Pope sent a special blessing to mark the 70th anniversary of one of Orkney’s landmarks. Pope Francis said he hoped the Italian Chapel (pictured), built during World War Two by Italian prisoners of war, would continue to be a “sign of peace and reconciliation”.

24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

6 l news

POLITICS

Little romance as Cameron attempts to woo Scots The Prime Minister’s visit north of the border left many unimpressed despite a fresh promise of new powers for Scotland.

indy BRIEFS 1. The independence debate may be deterring tourists from the rest of the UK visiting Scotland, Labour MSP Jenny Marra has claimed. 2. Prime Minister David Cameron has reiterated that he has no intention of resigning if Scotland votes Yes. 3. Charity Deaf Connections has claimed not enough has been done to inform voters with hearing problems about the referendum.

■ Prime Minister David Cameron arrived in Scotland last week in a bid to convince voters to remain part of the UK. But Mr Cameron said a No vote would not be a vote for the status quo. Instead, he said there would be more devolution for Scotland should it remain part of the UK, although he shied away from promising to include legislation for more powers in the first Queen’s Speech after the 2015 general election. Mr Cameron said his party had already demonstrated a commitment to devolution through giving Scotland more tax raising powers from 2016, the promise of a referendum in Wales on greater tax powers and devolving control of the police to the Northern Irish assembly. During his two-day trip to Scotland, Mr Cameron also met reservists and full-time soldiers who will help provide security at this summer’s Commonwealth Games in Glasgow.

COMMENTATORS SAY Chancellor George Osborne and Prime Minister David Cameron are playing good cop/bad cop as they attempt to dissuade Scots from voting Yes. But the Sunday Herald’s Iain MacWhirter said he is “getting tired” of the act and “the welcome these discredited politicians get in Scotland”. And he said Mr Osborne’s insistence there will be no currency union in the event of a Yes vote, despite its impact on businesses in the remainder of the UK shows he is willing to sacrifice the health of the UK economy “in order to punish Scotland”. MacWhirter said many Scots are fed up of the negative tactics used by the Better Together campaign but that it will not change focus as that would be admission it had got its tactics badly wrong. Meanwhile, The Courier said Mr Cameron’s return to

Scotland was a “double-edged sword” for the Better Together campaign. It said “the promise of further devolved powers will chime with many” but warned his appearance would remind voters that the Conservatives will still wield a lot of power over Scotland should the country vote against leaving the UK. But the paper said nobody should cast their vote on September 18 because of the personalities involved. “It is far too easy and far too simplistic to break the debate down to a straight choice between Cameron or Salmond,” the paper said. The Scotsman, meanwhile, said the Prime Minister is “damned if he does, and damned is he doesn’t” when it comes to getting involved in the referendum debate. It said Better Together campaigners would “be relieved that the visit was not a disaster. That was as much as they could hope for”. It added that it remains “questionable” whether or not Mr Cameron will convince anyone to vote No, despite delivering a “heavy dose of flattery”. The best he can hope for is not to cost any votes, said the paper.

4. The House of Lords has said the proposed date of Scottish independence in 2016 should be pushed back if it does not suit the remainder of the UK. 5. Unions at Rosyth dockyards in Fife, where the Royal Navy’s new aircraft carriers are being built, said independence would threaten defence jobs in Scotland. 6. Almost two-thirds of 16 and 17-year-olds believe independence would harm the economy. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

“My view is that Scotland, of course, would get into the EU eventually.”

“The SNP are pouring scorn over the proposals I and others are making for further devolution but by doing so they are living in the past.”

David Martin,

Nick Clegg,

Labour MEP

Deputy Prime Minister

POLITICS Clegg claims guarantor status

Yes camp in the money ■ It has been billed as a grassroots campaign that will sweep Scotland to independence. But critics claim it has been funded by just a few highrollers. Euromillions winners Colin and Chris Weir have donated £3.5 million to the Yes Campaign and also gave the SNP another £1 million in February, making a total of £5.5 million in donations since their 2011 win. Now Stagecoach boss Sir Brian Souter (above) has promised to match all grassroots funding raised by the SNP up to the value of £1 million. Sir Brian gave £500,000 to the SNP before the Scottish Parliament elections in 2007 and 2011 and has also give £100,000 to campaign group Christians for Independence. He insisted his donation was made in a personal capacity and that his company, Stagecoach, “has a neutral position” in the debate. Unionist politicians have claimed large donations from just a few people “undermines” the Yes camp’s claim to be a grassroots campaign, as it would be “millions” of pounds worse off without them.

■ It seems a long time since everyone wanted to agree with Nick Clegg. But the deputy prime minister and leader of the Liberal Democrats threw himself into the independence debate this week. He said his party would “act as the guarantors” of more powers for Holyrood if Scotland votes No in September. He accused the SNP Scottish Government of

failing to properly use the powers the Scottish Parliament already has. Mr Clegg said his party believes Holyrood should be given the power to raise more than half of its income. The Scotland Act 2012 will allow the Scottish Parliament to raise 30% of its income from 2016. Mr Clegg said there is “unstoppable momentum” for more devolution and that a No vote would be a “positive choice” for Scotland. The SNP hit back and said similar promises have been made before – and subsequently broken.

news l 7

indy BRIEFS 1. The Scottish Conservatives claim independence could lead to Scots paying more VAT on certain items. 2. An ICM poll showed support for independence fell by five points over the month to 34% – its lowest level of support for eight months.

Potholes blamed on trams

Air rifle licences for Scots

■ Transport minister Keith Brown has said potholes on Scottish roads cannot be repaired because of the cost of the Edinburgh trams. Responding to a question from Tory MSP Jamie McGrigor, he told the Scottish Parliament the £776 million spent on the single-track system meant there is less money available to pay for road repairs. Mr McGrigor said he believed the minister had “been talking through his hat” and that not enough money is being put aside to deal with potholes.

■ A new licensing system for air rifles will be one of the most robust schemes in the world, justice secretary Kenny MacAskill has claimed. Almost half of all firearms offences in Scotland in 2012-13 involved an air weapon. The new legislation will mean anyone who wants to buy an air rifle, or who already owns one, will have to obtain a licence saying they are a “fit person” to have the weapon. Two-year-old Andrew Morton died in 2005 after being shot with an air gun in Glasgow.

“If Alex Neil won’t resign for deceiving parliament, will the First Minister sack him?”

“The simplistic way the SNP are presenting questions around inequality in the run up to the referendum does not serve us well.”

“The intolerant message that UKIP is peddling has no place in Scotland and the way in which to keep UKIP’s agenda out of Scottish politics is by voting SNP.”

Johann Lamont,

Margaret Curran,

Alex Salmond,

Scottish Labour leader

Shadow Scottish Secretary

First Minister

3. Around one in five Scots say they are more likely to vote Yes if UKIP triumphs in the European elections. 4. The Institute of Chartered Accountants Scotland is demanding more information on the cost of setting up a new tax system in an independent Scotland. 5. First Minister Alex Salmond has said the Bank of England will be an independent Scotland’s central bank. 6. SNP MEP Ian Hudghton has said Scotland will have a stronger voice in international fishing talks if Scotland votes Yes in September. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SEVEN BY SEVEN

Lighting up debate – should e-cigarettes be banned in public places?

SEVEN QUESTIONS YOU REALLY WANT TO ASK 1. First, is there a verb we can use to describe smoking e-cigarettes? It’s called “vaping”. The website E-Cig Glossary also has “drip tip” for getting the liquid or “smoke juice” that e-cigarettes require onto the atomiser, and “hot cigarette” for a traditional fag.

2. Sounds funky. But what’s all this talk of health fears? E-cigarettes were supposed to be healthy – or healthier – particularly in the sense that the original plan was that they would help smokers stop being smokers. The main problem is that, according to some, they may have the opposite effect, causing people to take up smoking. The Herald reported a study by Mississippi State University claiming to show just that. Public Health England has debated whether e-cigarettes might result in “re-normalising smoking in public places”. And, on top of all that, e-cigarettes with higher concentrations of nicotine can be bought on the internet.

3. Has anyone banned them in public places already? Yup, as the Scottish Daily Mail reported, organisations such as ScotRail, Starbucks and Wetherspoons don’t allow them. Neither do hospitals, schools and council buildings. And they’re banned from this year’s Commonwealth Games venues in Glasgow. Further afield, in the United States, they’ve been outlawed in New York, Chicago, San Francisco and Los Angeles.

4. What is the Scottish Government doing? Faced by calls from the Royal Environmental Health Institute for Scotland to prohibit sales to anyone under 18, the Scottish Government has said it “strongly” believes e-cigarettes need appropriate regulation and “should never be promoted to young people”. It is, accordingly, in the process of considering “all available options to protect public health,

E-cigs IN NUMBERS

£193m Value of e-cigarettes sales in UK in 2013.

Number of main parts to an e-cigarette, the battery, the atomiser and a cartridge containing nicotine suspended in liquid.

Percentage of adult smokers in Scotland who have used e-cigarettes in the past four years.

Percentage of adult smokers who believe e-cigs are good for public health.

13,000

Estimated number of people who die annually in Scotland from smoking ‘normal’ cigarettes.

£323m

Estimated amount that regular smokers cost the NHS in Scotland annually.

particularly that of young people, from the promotion of smoking behaviours”.

5. A lot of talk then. What else are people saying? Columnist Colette Douglas-Home in The Herald wrote that she found e-cigarettes, as used by a friend, rather “elegant”. Moreover, her friend was smoking one instead of a real ciggie, to which in the past she’d been “dedicated”. Her friend was ordered by a waitress to put it away. Douglas-Home argued that there was no evidence that vaping turned its practitioners to old-style smoking while a new study by University College London found they are 60% more effective at helping smokers quit than nicotine patches. Time Magazine said: “The trouble with e-cigarettes is that their risk and benefits are still unknown.”

6. Anyone else like them? More than two million people are thought to smoke them in Britain, according to a survey by the campaigning group Action on Smoking and Health (ASH). That’s up from 700,000 in 2012. As The Guardian reported, nearly two-thirds were smokers and the other third ex-smokers. Only 0.1% had been non-smokers, which rather dampens the fears raised in the Mississippi study. E-cigs are also catching on in Alabama jails, according to The Tuscaloosa News. But they’re not good for animals, according to a report in Cumberland’s News & Star. A local vet attributed the death of a dog to chewing on an e-cigarette.

7. Get back to humans for a minute, what’s the prognosis on e-cigarettes? ASH Scotland chief executive Sheila Duffy said in The Scotsman: “We believe that ‘vaping’ will prove to be less harmful than smoking – but not harmless, as some supporters suggest.” If that view prevails, more bans in public places are likely, and Scotland may follow England, which is planning to ban sales to under-18s. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

10 l news

AROUND SCOTLAND

1 HIGHLANDS & ISLANDS Rail time campaign

A new campaign has been launched to cut rail travel times between Inverness and the central belt. Campaigners are demanding the introduction of an intercity express that could reduce journey times between Inverness and Perth to just 90 minutes.

“Doolally” computer forces out postmistress

The UK’s longest-serving postmistress has retired after 61 years because of IT troubles. Since 1953, Esther Brauer (83) operated the Post Office from her home in Kylesku in Sutherland. For the last 31 years it has been based in her garden shed. Esther (right) said she made the decision to stand down because of her computer “going doolally”. During her time with the Post Office she has seen the introduction of post codes and the decimalisation of currency.

2 GLASGOW & WEST Keelhauled coke haul

Police uncovered millions of pounds worth of cocaine beneath a Colombian ship bound for Scotland. More than 100kg of the drug was recovered from the rudder area of the Cape Maria when the vessel was just 2.8 miles off the Largs coast. Police also seized an inflatable boat and underwater scooter. The National Crime Agency arrested three Dutch men at a nearby hotel in connection with the incident. They appeared at Leeds Magistrates Court and have been remanded in custody awaiting trial. The captain of the Cape Maria and his crew are not thought to be involved.

Buckfast gets canned

Selling Buckfast in cans could help reduce violence, it has been claimed. Research by the Centre for the Study of Violence at Glasgow Caledonian University, found 43% of young offenders who had been drinking before their offence had consumed Buckfast. Traditionally sold in glass bottles, the tonic wine’s distributor is now selling Buckfast in 25cl cans. Dr Peter Rice, an expert in alcohol addiction with NHS Tayside, said police have long argued there would be less Buckfast-associated “trouble” if the drink was no longer sold in glass bottles. Tins will sell for £2.90.

Commonwealth task force

Around 2,400 members of the Armed Forces are to help provide security at the Commonwealth Games. Troops from The Black Watch, the 3rd battalion of the Royal Regiment of Scotland, will be among those used. The MoD also confirmed The Red Arrows (left) will feature in the opening ceremony.

2 3

3 SOUTH SCOTLAND Drouthy neebor lands in jail A man who broke into his friend’s home to steal food was caught after police found his DNA on an open can of lager. Thirty-seven-year-old Brian Hall broke into his friend’s Kelso home and stole £15 worth of food from the fridge, including a pork the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

joint, gammon steak, hamburgers and cheese slices. But he was caught because he also stole lager and left the empty can he drank from sitting on the kitchen table. He was sentenced to nine months in prison when he appeared at Jedburgh Sheriff Court.

Schoolchildren celebrate battle anniversary Hundreds of children from Hawick and the surrounding area took part in a re-enactment to celebrate the 500th anniversary of the Battle of Hornshole. In 1514 a group of Hawick youths defeated an English raiding party and even managed to steal its standard. The event also marked the start of this year’s common riding season (right), which celebrates the capture of the English flag half a millennium ago.

news l 11

AROUND SCOTLAND 4 NORTH EAST, ORKNEY & SHETLAND

School bullying probe

Trump vows to keep tilting at windmills

Tycoon Donald Trump has said he intends to complete his controversial £750 million golf resort at Menie – if plans for offshore wind turbines nearby are dropped. Trump returned to the north-east for the first time since vowing he would never invest in Scotland again after the Scottish Government gave the go-ahead for an experimental wind farm off the coast of the development. Since then, however, he has purchased Turnberry in Ayrshire and Doonbeg in Northern Ireland. He has now unveiled plans for a “Trump triangle”. Golfers will be able to buy a package that will allow them to travel by helicopter between the courses. Trump described Menie as “his baby” but said completing the development will depend on plans for the 11-turbine development being scrapped.

5 TAYSIDE & CENTRAL

Happy times in Dundee

Spooky goings on in Stirling

Orkney Islands Council is to launch a probe into claims of workplace bullying at Stromness Academy. It is understood that twothirds of staff at the school – the second largest secondary on the islands – signed a letter raising concerns about bullying. The letter alleges there is “an atmosphere of fear and oppression” in the school and that pupils are addressed “aggressively” by some staff.

A new festival celebrating the ghouls and ghosts of Scotland will take place in Stirling later this year. The two-day Scottish Paranormal Festival will begin on Hallowe’en and has even earned the support of Ghostbusters star Dan Aykroyd, who is donating two crates of his Crystal Head vodka. Each bottle (left) is shaped like a human skull and costs £145. The festival is being organised by filmmaker Peter Broughan, who produced Rob Roy and The Flying Scotsman. It will include a UFO event held at Bonnybridge, which has been dubbed the “UFO capital of Scotland”. It will also include ghost hunts, film festival, comedy and even a “vampire ceilidh”.

An online video showing the great and the good of Dundee miming to Pharrell Williams’ hit Happy has gone viral. Made by local filmmaker and photographer Scott Sigsworth and Gary Robinson, the video features dozens of Dundonians shimmying to Happy, including Lord Provost Bob Duncan and Lorraine Kelly. Robinson said he was delighted with the response the video has received. It has already been viewed by tens of thousands of people online. “The feedback has been phenomenal,” he said.

6 EDINBURGH, FIFE & EAST 6

Tram woes

A lightning strike knocked out Edinburgh’s new tram system. The trams were left immobile for two hours after a section of the £776 million network was struck by lightning, just days before the trams begin taking passengers next week. The vehicles were being tested when the lightning strike occurred. The council said the disruption was a good test of the emergency response systems that have been put in place.

Green light for new Madras College in St Andrews

The long-running battle to build a new Madras College on a single site in St Andrews appears to be nearing its end. The Scottish Government has now confirmed Fife Council’s decision to build the new school on greenbelt land at Pipeland will not be “called in” for consideration despite its “divergence from the local development plan”. They decided the wider community benefits the school would bring overrides these concerns. Campaigners have been calling for a replacement for Madras College’s current facilities, split over two sites at Kilrymont and South Street, for years. But some say a site on the western edge of the town should have been chosen instead.

First world war remembered Around 8,000 people are expected to attend a memorial service at Edinburgh Castle marking the 100th anniversary of the outbreak of the First World War. Members of the public from every council area in Scotland will be invited to attend the August event. There will be eight major commemorations to mark events that had a major impact on Scotland during the war.

24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

12 l news

AROUND BRITAIN

1 NORTHERN IRELAND

2 NORTH ENGLAND

Online fight clubs warning

No “dark side”

Clucky break

Singer goes gaga over Newcastle designer

Police have warned teenage gang members who use social media to organise fights with rivals they will be prosecuted. Children as young as 12 are using sites to arrange fights between gangs, which are divided along sectarian lines.

Claims made by Sinn Fein that the arrest of Gerry Adams in connection with the murder of Jean McConville in 1972 was down to a “dark side” within the police have been rejected. PSNI Chief Superintendent Nigel Grimshaw (left) said officers must be able to investigate crime “without fear or favour”.

Hundreds of chickens that escaped onto a motorway when the lorry they were travelling in crashed have being rehomed. A pet sanctuary took in hundreds of the birds when the lorry crashed on the M62. More than 1,000 chickens died in the accident or were subsequently struck by other vehicles and killed.

A 25-year-old designer from Newcastle has said he thought it was an April Fool’s Day prank when he was offered the job of designing stage outfits for singer Lady Gaga (right). Designs by Dayne Henderson are being used on her Artpop world tour.

3 MIDLANDS & EAST Fundraising teenager Stephen Sutton dies

Nineteen-year-old Stephen Sutton lost his fouryear battle with bowel cancer. Following his diagnosis, he drew up a “bucket list” of things he wanted to achieve before his death, including raising £10,000 for the Teenage Cancer Trust. Ultimately, he raised £3 million. More donations flooded in after his death. There are now calls to create a permanent memorial to him.

4 WALES

Pies of the beholder

Wales left neither up nor down by referendum A Scottish academic said the Scottish referendum will have little effect on Wales, whatever the result. Dr Nicola McEwan told Welsh Assembly members the referendum will, at best, “have a neutral impact” on Wales and that there is little chance it would gain more devolved powers, even if Scots do choose to vote Yes in September.

Animal rights campaigners are targeting a Leicestershire butcher because of his prize-winning pies made from squirrel meat. Phil Walmsley won a gold medal at the British Pie Awards for the pie, which contains meat from grey squirrels. Charity Animal Aid has said it is inhumane to shoot grey squirrels or to justify killing them by saying it helps the native red squirrel population.

3 4

Ryanair jets back to Cardiff Budget airline Ryanair has announced it is to re-introduce flights from Cardiff Airport. It will launch a route between Cardiff and Tenerife in October, eight years after they last operated a service in the Welsh capital. It is hoped the airline may consider adding further routes at the airport, which was bought by the Welsh government last year.

5 SOUTH WEST ENGLAND Stink over school fish ban Pupils at a Swindon primary school have been told not to bring any fish products to school in packed lunches because one pupil has a potentially fatal fish allergy. But parents of some pupils at Robert Le Kyng Primary School feel it is unfair to affect the eating habits of a whole school for only one child. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

6 LONDON & SOUTH EAST Pipe works uncover remains Walkie-Talkie cover up Work to replace a Surrey water main uncovered archaeological remains dating back 10,000 years. Work on the 2.2km pipe uncovered a Stone Age hunting camp and a Roman villa. The camp was the oldest discovery, alongside objects dating from the Bronze and Iron ages. It has taken two years to identify all the finds.

Millions of pounds are to be spent ensuring a London skyscraper no longer acts as a “heat ray”. Reflections from the curved “Walkie-Talkie” skyscraper melted parts of a Jaguar car last summer, including the wing mirror and badge. Now it is to be fitted with a variety of sun-shading structures to ensure there is no repeat of the burning glare.

PEOPLE

news l 13

Fife priest dismissed ■ A Catholic priest at the centre of child abuse allegations was dismissed after being found guilty of “canonical offences”, reported BBC Scotland. The Catholic Church said Thomas Mullen, who was the priest at Our Lady of Lourdes in Dunfermline, Fife, had been dismissed by the Vatican two months ago, but the news only emerged after the findings were made public this week. Archbishop Leo Cushley, of the Archdiocese of St Andrews and Edinburgh, said the diocese was obliged in canon law to continue to look after Father Mullen’s practical and pastoral needs. His sacking came after Crown prosecutors decided not to proceed with the case because too much time had passed between alleged offences.

It’s all relative... ■ A descendent of Robert the Bruce (above) has spoken out against independence. Andrew Bruce, the 11th Earl of Elgin and 15th Earl of Kincardine, told The Times Scotland is living in an “interdependent” world.

Calvin on home turf for Big Weekend Radio 1 tunes into Glasgow feel-good factor

Wullie found himself in an awfy jam before his maths exam. But a kiss from Primrose made all the hard work worth it!

■ If there’s one act assured of a warm welcome on Glasgow Green this weekend, it’s Scottish superstar Calvin Harris. The Dumfries-born DJ and producer is one of the main stage performers at Radio 1’s Big Weekend alongside Pharrell Williams, Coldplay, One Direction, Katy Perry and Kings of Leon. Indeed, success is par for the course for the former shelf stacker, who is now second only to Adele in a list of the most successful young music stars in the UK after amassing an estimated £30 million fortune. With T in the Park, the Commonwealth Games and the Ryder Cup on the horizon, The Herald’s Martin Williams suggested 2014 will “go down in history” as a record year for major events. Visit Scotland said it had “never had a year like 2014 in terms of the sheer volume of events”, while council leader Gordon Matheson described Glasgow in particular as a “hot ticket”.

Mourners bid farewell to Bally Colourful send-off for a competitor on and off the tennis court whose courage over adversity spoke volumes ■ Friends and family of former British number one tennis player Elena Baltacha gathered for her funeral on Monday. But while there were tears on what was naturally a sad occasion, mourners wore bright colours – as per Baltacha’s request – as they celebrated her life and legacy. Baltacha, who moved to Scotland when her father Sergei signed for St Johnstone, passed away from cancer earlier this month, just four months after being diagnosed with the disease.

Tributes have been paid in the days since her death, with the British Lawn Tennis Association putting it best. “Bally gave new meaning to the word ‘fighter’,” it said. “She fought tirelessly during her career against opposition on court, and never gave in to the struggles she endured off it.” In lieu of flowers, donations were made to the Rally For Bally – the charity tournament that will now be held on June 15 in her memory. Andy Murray, Martina Navratilova and Tim Henman will be among the players taking part.

Bafta win for Nicky ■ Scottish presenter Nicky Campbell won the Bafta for TV feature of the year for his emotional documentary about adopted children, entitled Long Lost Family. The 53-year-old was himself adopted.

Shoe goes walkies ■ A Falkirk man who lost a shoe during a boozy stag do in Cardiff has thanked the taxi driver who posted it the 400 miles back to him. Scott Watson told The Scottish Sun he could not believe his luck. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

14 l news

BEST OF SCOTTISH COMMENT

No place for historical grievance

Time to abandon wealth fetish

David Torrance

Melanie Harvey

The Herald

Daily Record

■ The SNP may be fond of harking back to 1979, but events from 35 years ago are not relevant to the September referendum. They have dismissed claims by Prime Minister David Cameron that more powers will be devolved to Scotland in the event of a No vote because a similar promise was made in 1979 but never acted upon. According to David Torrance in The Herald, devolution was “killed” in 1979 by the “40% caveat” inserted by Labour MPs, which said 40% of the total electorate had to vote for a Scottish Assembly, not just a majority of those who cast their ballots on the day. And, said Torrance, the Labour government was then brought down by opposition parties, including the SNP. This allowed the Conservatives, whose stance on devolution was clear, to take office. Subsequent talks about the future government of Scotland, said Torrance, came to naught “largely because the SNP refused to take part”. He added that invoking 1979 “is an astonishingly weak line of argument” for a supposedly “forward looking” campaign.

■ Celebrities like Gary Barlow and Gabby Logan have been heavily criticised for taking part in tax avoidance schemes. But it is ironic that at the same time the media is “salivating over the bank accounts of the rich and famous” after it emerged there are now 105 billionaires in the UK. Melanie Harvey said it is “disappointing” that Logan has avoided tax but asked “who could blame her” when “the very existence of an annual rich list shows the esteem in which our society holds out wealthiest”. And she said while we are “poring” over the wealth of some people, there has been a “five-fold increase” in the numbers of people relying on hand-outs from foodbanks. Harvey said she has nothing against celebrating success but said she did not understand why people worship “at the altar of wealth”. She concluded by saying her parents had always insisted it is “vulgar” to discuss money while “showing off” was even worse”. This, she said, means it is time wealth league tables are “consigned to the bin”.

Monster-sized monster attacked

Fiona McCade The Scotsman

■ For decades, Godzilla has been sporadically rising from the oceans to terrorise mankind. He’s usually met with a volley of the best weaponry mankind has available or, occasionally, an angry giant moth but his reappearance in cinemas this month has seen something worse thrown at him – complaints about his weight. For weeks, said an incredulous Fiona McCade in The Scotsman, “message boards have been lighting up with complaints” about how the latest version of the giant lizard looks a little portly. She said that if “a giant, fictional lizard is being urged to diet” then there is

little hope for the rest of us and shows just how such “body fascism” has become commonplace. “In our appearance-obsessed society, is there anybody at all who can escape being judged for their physical shape?” McCade asked. She said that “nobody is safe from scrutiny” over their appearance even though “fatshaming”, where people who are overweight are publicly criticised, does nothing to help people lose weight, even if they need to. However, she said Godzilla is in good company. Everyone from Leonardo di Caprio to countless female stars have had their measurements “ruthlessly denounced by all kinds of media”. According to McCade, she now considers Godzilla “A ‘real’ monster in a world of increasingly skinny monsters.” But, she said she hopes the outsized lizard can one day provide an example that helps us “learn to appreciate monsters...without judging them solely on the magnitude of their muffin tops”.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ A massive reinforced bed designed specifically for obese people, high-tech baby monitors and bulky defibrillators have been among the expensive items which have gone walkies from Scotland’s hospitals in the last five years. Writing in The Scottish Sun, Sarah Vesty revealed that the £7,000 bariatric bed “vanished” from Montrose’s Sunnyside Royal Hospital three years ago, while one unidentified item, which disappeared from NHS Lothian, was worth £220,000 alone. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

NHS Lanarkshire reported the loss of a £2,280 defibrillator and a £1,800 glucose monitor, while other items stolen or missing included a £744 baby heart monitor from Kirkcaldy’s Victoria Hospital and a £79 Nintendo Wii Fit console from Edinburgh’s Leith Community Treatment Centre. Margaret Watt, from the Scotland Patients Association, was flabbergasted. She said: “Boots, Tesco and clothes stores have tags and monitors, so why should our hospitals be different?”

n issi

16 l news Why May 22 was just another day for many

Andreas Whittam Smith The Independent

■ People across Britain have been going to the polls in the European elections this week. But, like the The Independent’s Andreas Whittam Smith, quite a few did not bother to make the effort. He suggested many people, like him, had “little idea” who the candidates were after being furnished with “no information about what they have done in life”, with a trawl of the internet required to just discover the names of many candidates. “I detect here the habitual arrogance of professional politicians,” he wrote. “They assume we would cast our ballots without even wanting to know what sort of people we are being asked to support.”

BEST OF briTISH comment In his article, he analysed the one pamphlet he did receive pre-vote from the Conservatives which claimed people feel the EU is heading in a direction Britain did not sign up to. But he was quick to correct that, citing examples of how “everything” the EU has done has been followed by successive governments. The fact the EU elections use proportional representation, an “unpleasant, un-British system”, and the fact that party lists are used also dissuaded Whittam Smith from casting a vote. But perhaps the biggest reason, he suggested, is that the European Parliament “is not actually a fully functioning parliament at all”, does not represent a single ‘people’ and “cannot therefore claim legitimacy for its acts”. “What it mainly does is revise proposals for new European laws,” he concluded. “It is like a House of Lords without a House of Commons. “I cannot vote for that.”

Silent majority will have their say

Green shoots of recovery

Dominic Lawson

George Monbiot

The Sunday Times

The Guardian

■ Polls may show growing support for Scottish independence but they may not be giving an accurate picture, said Dominic Lawson in The Sunday Times. He said there has been “remarkable steadiness” in the polls over the past six months and that if it the Yes campaign is to claim victory in September then “the onus” is on it to convince undecided voters. “The reality,” he said, “is that nationalists still have it all to do.” Lawson added that he believes many who intend to vote No may be “reluctant to tell pollsters” the truth about their intentions. He said there is historical precedent for polls failing to accurately reflect public opinion, such as in the 1990s when polls “persistently underestimated the level of Conservative support”. And he cited American pollster Nate Silver, who said people tend not to vote for change in referendums. It is because voters prefer the status quo, claimed Lawson, that First Minister Alex Salmond “refuses to mention the idea of Scotland having its own currency”.

■ Feudalism legally ended a decade ago but George Monbiot argued that, after 15 years of devolution, the nation with the rich world’s greatest concentration of landownership remains as “inequitable as ever”. Citing the Highlands as a prime example of the British countryside’s “culture of deference”, he pinpointed an unwillingness to challenge “aristocrats, oligarchs, bankers and sheikhs who own so much of this nation, for fear of consequences real or imagined” and highlighted how Balmoral’s example in exercising “extreme and destructive management” (clearing, burning and overgrazing) is being copied. “This balmorality is equivalent to Marie Antoinette dressing up as a milkmaid while the people of France starved,” he said. However, he praised efforts in the north-west of the Cairngorms National Park to “reverse the destruction, reduce deer to reasonable numbers and get trees back on the braes” and said – if he lived here – he would vote Yes in the hope an independent Scotland would grasp the nettle on the issue.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ Police officers stopped a suspiciouslooking slow-moving taxi in the dead of night in Uddingston – only to find Channel Four’s ‘Come Dine With Me’ crew filming in the back. The Daily Record’s Leona Greenan told how Yvonne Finlayson, from Hamilton, had been at fellow contestant Graeme Curley’s house sampling his culinary delights before getting into the famous black cab to dole out her marks. But officers who spotted the taxi crawling the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

along Old Edinburgh Road in the early hours thought something untoward was afoot. “The producers asked the driver to go ever-so-slow along the road for filming purposes so you can’t hear engine noise or see movement from bumps in the road when it goes on air,” she told the paper. “We were full swing into filming when the blue flashing light started going off behind us. “I think they thought there was a spot of kerb-crawling going on!”

18 l news

everybody’s talking about...

What’s in a name? Murrayfield no more? SRU sells naming rights to national stadium. 1. Murrayfield what?

5. So what is in it for the SRU?

7. Worse? How so?

The Scottish Rugby Union has reportedly agreed to sell the naming rights to Murrayfield to BT in what is thought to be a £20 million deal.

Cash money. Around £20 million of it. The SRU currently had debts of around £11 million so the deal will allow them to pay that off in one fell swoop and still have some left in the kitty. It’s thought that will give BT the right to have their name on the stadium for between five and seven years.

One just has to glance over the pond to our American friends to see how rampant sponsorship can lead to some fairly embarrassing names. For example, the Colorado Rapids football team – our football, that is, not theirs – play at Dick’s Sporting Goods Park while FC Dallas play at Pizza Hut Park. And pity the poor Houston Astros. The baseball side struck a deal to have their stadium named Enron Field. After Enron went bankrupt, the Astros had to buy back the naming rights to their own stadium. Luckily, they were soon able to find a less embarrassing stadium sponsor and so now play at the far friendlier Minute Maid Park. Meanwhile, the University of Louisville’s basketball teams play at The KFC Yum! Center, which is hardly likely to have the same effect on opposing players as ‘This is Anfield’ does.

2. Oh no, they’re going to change the name to something terrible aren’t they? Well, hopefully not. Mindful of the furore created in 2011 when Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley announced he was changing the name of St James’s Park to the Sports Direct Arena, it is likely the powers-thatbe will opt for something a little less dramatic and more in keeping with rugby tradition.

3. Something traditional? Surely that’s Murrayfield? Probably. It’s likely the stadium’s new moniker will be some combination of BT and Murrayfield. It may even be as revolutionary and inspirational as The BT Murrayfield Stadium.

4. Well, that’s maybe not too bad, but won’t punters still just call it Murrayfield? In all likelihood. But whenever commentators mention the stadium they will be honour-bound to say its full name, which will mean plenty of advertising for BT, which, obviously, is the point.

6. Is everybody doing this? Pretty much. In football two of England’s biggest clubs, Manchester City and Arsenal, play in grounds named solely after the businesses behind them. The Etihad Stadium and The Emirates Stadium may not conjure up quite the romance Maine Road and Highbury did but fans have quickly accepted the names. Of course, unlike Murrayfield, those are both purpose-built new grounds but die-hard traditionalists can console themselves with the knowledge things could have been much, much worse.

8. And where is all this money going? Presumably much will be ploughed back into the sport to help the game grow in coming years. And it may even be ploughed back into the field itself. The pitch had to be dug up completely due to an infestation of nematode worms. These attack the grass’ roots and make the pitch more likely to get torn up during scrums. Work to relay the pitch with a mixture of state-of-the-art hybrid of synthetic and real grass began last week.

Murrayfield sponsorship in numbers

67,441

Total capacity of Murrayfield

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Other Six Nations side with a sponsorship deal. Ireland play at the Aviva Stadium.

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BOFFINS

‘Sonic screwdriver’ for nerves

■ Researchers at Glasgow University have developed a Dr Who-style “sonic screwdriver” that joins up damaged nerves. The device’s proper name is a “heptagon acoustic tweezer”, which generates dynamic cell patterns using sound waves, The Herald reported. It will allow researchers to manipulate cells into complex assemblies – a so-called “cell tartan”. This in turn could support neurone alignment, a crucial preliminary step in the process of nerve repair.

Dr Who device could repair injuries through sound waves

Genetic defect ■ One in 10 Scots carries a faulty gene causing a greater chance of developing heart disease, The Herald reported. The British Heart Foundation said many may be unaware they’ve inherited a genetic disorder affecting their heart. Anyone with the disorder has a 50-50 chance of passing it to their children. Professor Peter Weissberg, the BHF’s medical director, said there was an urgent need “to accelerate research into inherited heart conditions”. Every year, around 50 Scots aged 35 or under are victims of sudden, unexplained cardiac death.

Dr Mathis Riehle, from the university’s Institute of Molecular Cell and Systems Biology, said in The Scotsman that the device could create sound waves that go through liquid, affording complete control of where these were directed. He said: “Our aim is to make this 3-D and make strings of cells in a gellike structure to get them growing and repairing nerves after injuries.” However, he added that it would be “many years” before the technology was ready.

App to yield success in Cambodia ■ A mobile app developed by a Scottish student is set to help struggling farmers in Cambodia. Neil Stewart’s Attis app could give smallholders in south-east Asia instant access to vital agricultural information. Scotland on Sunday reported that the app, for use on smartphones and tablets, is to be trialled by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organisation in remote areas of Cambodia. Stewart, an Edinburgh Napier University computing undergraduate who was born in South Africa but grew up in East Lothian, said the app could help farmers identify and get rid of pests. It also provides information about soil types, diseases, and cropgrowing, and has a messaging service connected to agricultural experts.

■ A Stirling University

researcher has called for urgent action to teach young Scots about tanning and skin cancer risks. Dr Richard Kyle led a study investigating the sun-related behaviour of 2,200 children living around Glasgow. Surprisingly, most were unaware of the link between sun exposure and cancer risk. One in five subjects reported sunburn.

One of the world’s most advanced deep sea research subs has been lost, BBC News reported. The robotic Nereus, operated by the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, is thought to have imploded

6.2

miles under the ocean northeast of New Zealand.

A matter of trust… and nasolabial deepeners ■ Scientists at Glasgow University have discovered how to change an untrustworthy-looking face. Dr Daniel Gill, of the university’s Institute of Neuroscience and Psychology, said facial expressions were important in social situations and could have crucial significance in mate selection and job interviews. Using software to generate three-dimensional images of faces, his researchers asked volunteers to judge their expressions for trustworthiness,

dominance and attractiveness. The images were then animated by activating a few muscle groups forming expressions the observers found more virtuous or meek. The parts you must activate to appear more trustworthy include: your inner and outer brow raiser, brow lowerer, nasolabial deepener, dimpler, lip corner, cheek raiser and sharp lip puller muscles. The researchers found it harder to feign aesthetic attractiveness. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

20 l

best of the week

Any dream will do ■ Those of us who recall Scotland’s build-up to the 1978 World Cup know it’s all too easy to sell this nation a dream. Manager Ally MacLeod was able to generate an almost palpable sense of optimism (some would say wave of delusional madness) in convincing the population Scotland could win the trophy. The quixotic dream soon foundered on the rocks of reality, and along with disillusionment the nation experienced anger and a sense of betrayal. MacLeod went from messiah to pariah overnight. The same fate just might await Alex Salmond in the aftermath of a Yes vote. Scotland’s 1978 World Cup campaign has come to be regarded as a glorious failure. That’s alright in football, but it cannot be an option for independence.

LETTERS TO THE EDITORS Europe deserves attention

Seize the day at the doc’s

■ On May 9 we celebrated Europe Day, a day which 64 years ago marked the foundation of what is now the European Union. Not many people noticed. Unfortunately, they also didn’t notice the safeguards they enjoy at work which are down to the EU, nor the holiday and rest entitlements they get from being members. Those in hospital may not notice the care they are getting from professionals able to work in the UK because of free movement of individuals across the 28-nation organisation, nor appreciate how millions of Britons are able to settle in parts of Europe and enjoy all the benefits of other citizens in those countries because of this. They probably won’t see the benefits for the environment that come from our membership, nor the wealth that has accrued in our country because of our membership of the world’s largest trading bloc. Just over half a century ago, our continent was torn by strife. In contrast, our continent today is a beacon of hope for those around the world in terms of promoting peace and protecting human rights.

■ How sad to read that less than half our population aged over 50 takes up the invaluable bowel screening two-yearly test. South of the border people do not get the same opportunity until after 60. We should count ourselves lucky and all of us use the test while it is available.

Kirk should keep out

■ For some, the antics of stunt cyclist Danny MacAskill would doubtless impress, but for many they would appear dangerous and reckless, likely to occasion impressionable youngsters to copy-cat, albeit on various alternative sites. In the wake of the proposed Red Road flats demolition furore it is disappointing the Commonwealth Games promoters have again been insensitive to basic health and safety requirements. This latest “showstopper” is somewhat out of kilter in promoting a safe, healthy lifestyle.

Derek Hammersley, European Movement in Scotland The Independent

■ The Church of Scotland’s incoming Moderator, the Rev. John Chalmers, is offering a

Allan C Steele, 22 Forres Avenue, Giffnock The Herald

Paul Wright, Davidson’s Mains, Edinburgh The Scotsman the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Gus Logan, York Road, North Berwick The Scotsman

A timely public service reminder ■ Following all the recent public scandals involving MPs, judges and others whose very generous salaries are paid for by us taxpayers, do your readers not agree that all correspondence from such people to us should no longer be signed “Yours sincerely” or “Yours faithfully”, but “Your most humble and obedient servant”? Just as it was in the old days. This would remind them all just who pays their wages. Joe Morrans, Rannes Street, Insch The Press and Journal

service of reconciliation to the leaders of both sides of the independence campaign following the referendum on September 18. This is the same Church of Scotland so torn asunder over the ordination of gay ministers it is facing an 1843 Disruption-sized crisis as congregations quit left, right and centre. Perhaps the church should concentrate on getting its own house in order first. Mark Boyle, Johnstone, Renfrewshire Scottish Daily Mail

“Showstopper” danger

that’s debatable ■ Australia and Ireland kept the pound for years after independence (or more specifically, as dominions) without fealty to Westminster. Why not Scotland? How can it possibly be safer to stick with the UK when it is £16 billion in debt and rising? It certainly is not a good example of “lender of last resort”. Westminster for decades has been financially irresponsible with illusions of imperial grandeur and simply refuses to change. Scotland should detach itself from this monolith before it is too late. We should think independently, have higher ambitions and have the courage to take the opportunity to control our own fate after September 18.

■ Once again, in the face of a very clear statement from George Osborne that there would not be a currency union, Alex Salmond and his separatist cohorts have insisted, indeed virtually guaranteed, that it is bluster, bluffing and scaremongering. Currency union is a critical issue in the referendum and will have a significant impact on how people vote – being more likely to vote No if there is not one. If there was a Yes vote and Mr Osborne were proven wrong, he would have to resign for misleading the public. Similarly, if a currency union were refused, Mr Salmond would have been guilty of misleading the public, putting the result itself in question as many people may have voted Yes on the back of his guarantee.

Brian Hunter, Liberton Place, Edinburgh The Scotsman

Raymond Paul, Braid Farm Road, Edinburgh The Scotsman Letters have been edited

news l 21

THE WEE PAPERS

A taste of...

‘Sexist’ remarks

Peeblesshire News

■ A Tory councillor’s allegedly sexist remarks during a debate on Scottish independence have been deemed “completely inappropriate and extremely offensive”, the News reported. Jim Fullarton shocked the audience when he reportedly said the proindy ‘Yes we can’ slogan “sounds much better than a woman closing her legs and saying no”.

Beltane honour

COURTS Phone pest warned

Ban on enforcer

■ A Peebles mum who repeatedly pestered emergency services operators has been warned to stay out of trouble for the next six months. Lisa Gray’s defence lawyer said the calls occurred during “a period of stress”. Sheriff Peter Paterson fined her £100 for one spate of calls and deferred sentence on a second.

■ A parking enforcer has been banned from driving after clocking up 105mph on the A702. Sheriff Peter Paterson told East Lothian man Paul Harrison, a driver of tow trucks for illegally parked vehicles, that he “should know better than most”. Harrison was disqualified for four months and fined £300.

■ The Beltane Queen and her First Courtier paraded along Peebles High Street. Alice Bryce, (12), and Michael Smith, (11), acknowledged the cheers of the festival crowd as they were pushed along in a barrow preceded by the Ex-Servicemen’s Pipe Band.

Giant killers ■ The Tweed Forum has awarded a £40,000 contract to two Borders firms tasked with controlling Giant Hogweed and its fellow invaders Japanese Knotweed and Himalayan Balsam. The News explained that the non-native species threaten the river environment and the 500 jobs that its world-famous salmon fishery sustains.

SPORT Vale hail Lamb ■ Vale of Leithen football club has a new manager. Mark Lamb takes over after standing in following the resignations of former manager Chic McAleavy, his coaches and the majority of his players. Despite the club’s financial problems, Lamb, 46, from Peebles, described the move as “an exciting prospect for me”.

Dramatic cup win ■ In rugby, Melrose took the Selkirk Sevens Cup for the first time since 2000, the News reported. Skipper Andrew Skeen’s side won 19-14 after extra time in a dramatic match. Skeen said: “We played to our limit and I do not think that we could have given any more.”

the big story Car-lamity after Facebook row ■ A Peebles woman in a mobility car drove through a garden fence, hit another vehicle, crashed into a house, fell from her car and had a plant-pot thrown at her – all because of a Facebook row about a table. As the News’s David Knox reported, Susan Brodie, 52, caused the carnage after a stooshie on the networking site when buyers asked her to take the table back. She drove to the purchaser’s property in the automatic people carrier used for her disabled husband, and stormed in shouting and swearing. Brodie took the table and left, but drove accidentally into the garden. Attempting to reverse with the door open, she fell from the vehicle, which collided with another car. As a plantpot was thrown at her, her car continued reversing into a house across the road. Brodie admitted careless driving and acting in an abusive manner. Peebles Sheriff Court fined her £300 and endorsed her licence.

EVENING ALL Edinburgh Evening News

Evening Express

Evening Times

Greenock Telegraph

Evening Telegraph

■ The latest salary rise for

■ The world’s first floating

■ Plans to erect a

■ Vandalism at Greenock

■ Dundee’s population

Lothian Buses boss Ian Craig means he has been paid more than £1 million in the past five years. His pay package last year, a rise of £5,000 amounted to £269,388, including bonus. This is more than is earned by First Minister Alex Salmond or Prime Minister David Cameron.

windfarm could be built nine miles off Stonehaven. Kincardine Offshore Windfarm Project has drawn up plans for the eight-turbine farm, and will submit a full application for permission later this year. Councillor Raymond Christie envisaged no problems if the turbines could not be seen.

monument to William Wallace have been refused council permission. The Society of William Wallace wanted to commemorate the Battle of the Bell o’ the Brae. The council said it was currently reviewing its monuments and would reconsider the plan later in the year.

Cemetery has become so bad it is deterring the bereaved from burying their loved ones there. One local resident called on Inverclyde Council to take up Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill’s scheme to make use of low-level offenders on community sentences to carry out the necessary repairs.

is set to soar, with young people providing most of the new faces. The General Register Office for Scotland predicts the city’s population will rise by more than 20,000, taking it to 170,811 by 2037. The number of children in Dundee will rise by more than a quarter.

24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

22 l

VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST

NEWS BLOGS Edinburgh agreement was “folly” By Andrew Hook ❘ Scottish Review Although Yes Scotland is drawing ever closer to Better Together in the polls many still think a majority of Scots will vote No in September. Andrew Hook, a former professor of English literature at Glasgow University, wondered if this is because many No voters are not being honest about their intentions because the Yes campaign seems more dynamic. He said allowing “Should Scotland be an independent country?” to be the referendum question had given the Yes campaign all the “gloss and power and appeal that word enjoys”.

■ US tycoon Donald Trump said farewell to

Scotland after a visit during which he promised to “tweak” his newly-acquired Turnberry course.

■ Painter Jack Vettriano publicised a sale of his possessions at Bonhams auction house in Edinburgh this week.

www.scottishreview.net

Trident not a bargaining chip By James Maxwell ❘ The Staggers Even if First Minister Alex Salmond wanted to use the removal of Trident from Scotland as a bargaining chip in the event of a Yes vote he would be unable to do so, James Maxwell wrote on the New Statesman’s rolling blog, The Staggers. He said even a “modest u-turn” would bring about “heavy political costs”. This, he said, would include disrupting “the SNP’s internal unity”. Although he noted NATO vessels will still be able to carry nuclear weapons in Scottish waters, Trident “remains a red-line issue for nationalists”.

■ Musicians promote Edinburgh’s 36th Jazz and Blues Festival on Calton Hill.

www.newstatesman.com/the-staggers

Clare’s Law does not go far enough By Anni Donaldson ❘ The Conversation Clare’s Law will allow women to check on the histories of their partners to see if there has been a history of domestic abuse. But Anni Donaldson, a research fellow at Strathclyde University, said it will be undermined by current laws, which only recognise cases of physical abuse. She said the “difficulty of achieving convictions” coupled with the many cases that are never reported means that Clare’s Law will not identify many abusers. www.theconversation.com

Wake-up call for London By Hugo Rifkind ❘ The Spectator blogs London-based commentators should stop discussing the referendum in terms of David Cameron’s future said Hugo Rifkind, adding the “fat-tongued, rubber-footed, cackhanded, tin-eared uselessness of discourse” is speeding up the demise of the UK. www.blogs.spectator.co.uk the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

■ Alice Maselnikova’s giant “womb seat” forms part of Duncan of Jordanstone College of Art and Design’s Degree Show.

■ St Johnstone manager Tommy Wright and captain Dave Mackay parade the Scottish Cup in front of thousands of fans in Perth.

NEWS TWEETS #Police I’m engaging with Police Scotland...about the armed police issue I raised. This ISN’T a party political issue.

Armed officer spotted in South Queensferry shop buying his lunch. Customers nervous. #DontFeelAnySafer

Crime at an all-time low, Stephen House making unilateral decision 2 allow officers 2 carry guns. I’m missing something?

John Finnie MSP @JohnFinnieMSP

Neil Hay @neil_hay

The Firm @TheFirmOnline

l 23

VIEW POINTS: THE BEST OF THE REST good week Duty called for Peter A Scottish games fanatic has beaten 4.5 million players from across the globe to be the best at ‘Call of Duty’. Peter Potts (34), from Dalmuir, topped the XBox chart for ‘confirmed kills’ – 180,871 – in the popular ‘shoot-em-up’ game.

Nessie’s number one A trip to Loch Ness has been voted Scotland’s top must-do experience. The attraction topped a list compiled to mark the Discovery Channel’s 25th anniversary. Visits to Hadrian’s Wall and Edinburgh Castle were next best.

■ Our word cloud amalgamates all the week’s news from the Scottish papers, with greatest prominence given to the most frequently used words.

GOSSIP OF THE WEEK

bad week

Tennant’s ailing accent...

Seabirds near ‘extinction’ MSPs have been told Scotland is “three decades behind” in creating protected areas for seabirds, reported The Times’ Danielle Sheridan. A RSPB study said the arctic skua could even “cease to be a UK breeding species within a decade” – such was the rate of decline.

Savings’ struggle New figures have shown that 19% of Scots have no savings at all. Of those who do, the average being put aside each month has fallen to £84.

Princely sum for tickets Ticket touts have cashed in this week after briefs for Prince’s show at the Glasgow Hydro sold for over £1,000 on some sites. The Purple Rain singer played his first Scottish gig in 19 years but, with demand huge, some people paid over 10 times the initial £65 price tag to see the superstar on stage.

David Tennant has faced the wrath of critics after “struggling to get to grips” with an American accent for new show Gracepoint, reported the Daily Record’s Mark Jefferies. The Scot will appear in the US remake of Broadchurch in the same role he has made famous, as the lead detective investigating the murder of a young boy. But bloggers who have seen the trailer are already on his case, with one branding his accent “the worst ever” by a British actor.

No fear for Edith Scots DJ Edith Bowman has insisted she has no qualms interviewing Sir Alex Ferguson during a charity event later this year.

The former Manchester United boss will be doing a Q&A for her mother’s East Neuk Wheelchair Appeal in November and Bowman told the Daily Record: “I don’t fear the hairdryer.”

Wicker on the uptake This year’s Wickerman Festival – which starts on July 25 – is heading for a bumper crowd, reported The Herald’s Martin Williams. Organisers of the two-day festival near Dumfries, which features Dizzee Rascal, Del Amitri and Shed Seven, say ticket sales are 35% up on last year.

Potter to tread the boards? Harry Potter author JK Rowling is in talks with director John Tiffany about a West End play detailing the wizard’s early years, said the Scottish Daily Mail.

1 gun related death in 2012-2013, firearm offences decreasing, why are officers carrying guns on our streets?

More armed police than gun incidents in Scotland; you arm the cops, the criminals will want to play at the same level.

@policescotland Not cool with these police walking around town carrying guns all the time now! What are we? LA? Detroit? No we’re Inverness!

As a former Dunblane pupil, I believe guns must be kept off our streets. Will Kenny MacAskill reverse Police Scotland’s arming of patrols?

Stop & search, no local oversight, guns for all and tight psuedo military uniforms. All looks well with Police Scotland.

scotsjustice @corroborator14

Gary Paterson MSYP @MrGaryPaterson

Cameron Carroll @Cambo_Carroll

Alistair Davidson @moh_kohn

Brian Spanner @BrianSpanner1 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

24 l

Stooshie of the week

aye or ay ❘ eye ❘ 1. means yes. Usage: “Aye, I’ll be there.” ■ There will always be opposition to change, no matter how big or how small the proposed change actually is. So it’s no surprise that parents are in uproar about the possible introduction of an “asymmetric week” to schools in the Borders, which would see the school week reduced to just four-and-a-half days. Closing all schools at lunchtimes on a Friday will, Borders Council claims, help reduce staffing costs and ensure timetables are aligned. Parents who will have to suddenly make alternative childcare arrangements are understandably frustrated but the move should not just be written off because some people will be inconvenienced. One of the most common misconceptions about the asymmetric school week, which is, admittedly, a horrible example of managementspeak, is that children will spend less time in school. In fact, school will begin earlier and end later on Mondays to Thursdays so children will not lose out on any classroom time. In Edinburgh, where the truncated school week has been in operation for decades, there is some evidence that it helps cut down on truancy, as

children know they are only ever a few days away from a break. Meanwhile, a Friday afternoon off will allow teachers more time for training or planning their next week’s lessons, freeing up more of their spare time. Some even believe introducing a Scotland-wide afternoon off school could lead to a renaissance in Scottish sport. Michael Cavanagh, the chairman of Commonwealth Games Scotland and himself a former PE teacher, said it could transform sports across Scotland. Schools, he said, would have more time to arrange sporting fixtures given there would be an extra afternoon with no lessons to play with. Meanwhile, clubs and teams could also use the afternoon off to arrange training sessions. Given Scotland’s growing obesity problem and miserable public health record, making more time available for children to take part in sport can only ever be a good thing. Many believe the longer a child is made to sit in the classroom the better. But children, just like adults, need the correct balance between work and play. An asymmetric week may just deliver it.

Should school pupils be given an extra afternoon off?

Borders Council is the latest to introduce an asymmetric week in its schools, giving pupils an extra afternoon off. But is letting children out of class really a good idea?

AS ITHERS SEE US!

O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us! To a Louse ❘ Robert Burns Scotland, who knew?” – and “Fun is a loch with the museums and art galleries Scots,” proclaimed both cities have to offer. Saul Schwartz in The “I am embarrassed to say Washington Post, as he made the most of a vacation with his that it took me some time to realise that Loch Lomond is cousin Sally in Glasgow. Scottish for Lake Lomond, Among the sights included the largest lake in central a visit to the Jewish Scotland,” he added. communities in Edinburgh “Although it was fun to and Glasgow – “Jewish the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

see signs in English and Gaelic, some fast-speaking Scots were a wee bit hard to understand. “But I loved train station stops with names like Crossmyloof.” On his travels, Schwartz also noted “an eccentric caretaker” in Edinburgh who “refers to

himself as Lord Byron and struts around town in a top hat and tails”, and said he expected to see “medieval settings out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail”. He also highlighted a runin with a determined Yes campaigner, whose “spirit is reminiscent of the American Revolution”. “As a souvenir, I purchased a copper-plated sign with the Gaelic saying “Ceud mile failte” which means ‘a 100,000 welcomes’,” he continued. “After viewing some of my 500 pictures, one of my friends exclaimed ‘I wish I had a Cousin Sally in Scotland.’”

l 25

Stooshie of the week

naw

❘ naw ❘

1. means no or not. Usage: “Naw, I can’t make it to the game.”

With the Commonwealth Games just around the corner, The Times Colonist’s Steve MacNaull looked at how “Scotland’s largest city” is gearing up for the event. The Canadian mused how Glasgow “wants to make the Games as approachable as possible” and noted how the Velodrome has been “built as a public space where people are encouraged to watch and try out the sport of indoor track cycling”. But it’s not all about the 20th Commonwealth Games, he suggested, and said Glasgow wants to “show off its

revitalized cosmopolitan vibe after being labelled a rundown post-industrial city” before, during and after the sporting festivities. “There’s new construction; spruced up public spaces and historical buildings; kilts and castles folklore; world-class art galleries and museums (check out the Glasgow Gallery of Modern Art and/or Kelvingrove); and eclectic dining from Two Fat Ladies to Mr. Singh’s, where waiters serve curries while wearing kilts,” he stressed. “Who doesn’t enjoy a quality whisky at the

■ It has been a year of almost unprecedented turmoil in Scottish education. The introduction of the controversial new Curriculum for Excellence has polarised opinion among parents and teachers alike with accusations that a generation of schoolchildren are being treated as little more than educational guinea pigs. Now, at a time when you would think that what is required in schools is a period of stability, we discover that a second Scottish council is planning to move to a shorter working week, with Friday afternoons off. The move from Borders Council, which they admit is purely a money-saving exercise, will lead to whoops of undisguised glee from schoolchildren everywhere, hoping that their area will be next to give them longer weekends. But parents in the area are rightly furious over what they regard as a lack of consultation from the council, who they claim have ridden roughshod over their concerns about issues like the cost and availability of extra childcare. Indeed, the council’s director of education admitted that “the vast majority” of more than 5,000 people who took part

in the consultation process had issues and concerns with the change, but it is being introduced in August anyway. Do these people really understand the difficulties and inconvenience this move will cause to hard-working families. As one mum said last week: “I work in Edinburgh and I can’t just decide to take a Friday afternoon off so I will need to try and get childcare sorted out.” There was a time when we boasted that Scottish education was the envy of the world. But those days have long gone and we now lag far behind countries like China, Japan and Korea in maths, science and reading. Do our education chiefs really believe that the way to start restoring the reputation of our educational system and equipping our children to excel in life is to get them to spend less time in school? Worryingly, councils across the country are looking at what is happening in the Borders, and in Edinburgh before it, and it seems only a matter of time until school-free Fridays are the norm across Scotland. Short term financial expediency is being put ahead of the interests of our children and in the long term we will all suffer.

end of a hard day to relax?” asked the Riverina Leader in New South Wales, Australia. The paper highlighted the events staged to herald World Whisky Day last weekend, with customers at Dan Murphy’s in Wagga Wagga “able to enjoy a small tipple on the house”. It suggested that the sale of Scotch whiskies priced above $100 a bottle has “grown significantly” in the past 12 months at Australian bottle shops, with Johnnie Walker Red Label highlighted as the “most popular whisky in Australia”, followed by whiskies such as “Jameson,

Chivas Regal and Johnnie Walker Black”. “Australians are definitely broadening their whisky palettes beyond Scotch and Bourbon,” concluded business manager Hamish Fyfe.

24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

26 l

REVIEW & Preview

STAGE

Saltbush FESTIVAL THEATRE STUDIO, EDINBURGH Tron Theatre, Glasgow until May 24 ■ An Italian/Australian joint production from Children’s Cheering Carpet, Saltbush is a celebration of Aboriginal Australia through music, dance, song and story as we follow the journey of two Aboriginals as they venture

Madama Butterfly FESTIVAL THEATRE, EDINBURGH Touring until June 14 ■ Puccini’s operatic story of the tragic Cio-Cio-San is a potent brew of big themes and heavy emotions that has been moving audiences for over a century. Scottish Opera’s soldout run at the Festival Theatre is further testament that this is a musical drama that won’t be disappearing any time soon. A tale of heartbreak and betrayal, Cio-Cio-San’s decision to abandon her family for love with an American naval officer proves to be a wrong-headed one as her long wait for his return is met with despair and death. Hye-Youn Lee and Anne Sophie Duprels have been sharing the lead role during this tour while José Ferrero plays her reckless beau, Pinkerton. The Scotsman’s Ken Walton was suitably impressed with the production: “Butterfly’s desperate naivety is both charming and exasperating in the hands of South Korean soprano Hye-Youn Lee whose performance, if less powerful in the lower reaches than in her euphoric soaring climaxes, is riven with tragic ecstasy.” Over at The Sunday Herald, Mark Brown believed it was a show with mixed blessings: “A production, then, for those who want to hear this opera sung well; but not for those who hope for an innovative staging of a painfully enduring story.”

Voices From The Black That I Am ORAN MOR, GLASGOW Run ended ■ In a series of plays being co-produced by A Play, A Pie And A Pint and the National Theatre of Scotland, the history of the Commonwealth and its relationship with race is being explored. Taking the form of

EXHIBITIONS DJCAD Degree Show 2014 DUNCAN OF JORDANSTONE COLLEGE OF ART & DESIGN, Dundee Until May 25 ■ DJCAD alumni include Turner prize winner Susan Philipsz and filmmaker David Mackenzie. Witnessing this year’s degree shows, The Herald’s the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

across the country. Joyce McMillan in The Scotsman hailed it as a “gorgeous co-production, an interactive journey through the culture and landscape of Aboriginal Australia”, while in The Herald Mary Brennan picked up on the interactive aspects, often a big thing in any production for the wee ones: “The joining-in element meant the younger members of the audience could set foot on the changing patterns of the floor cloth and chase the shifting shapes. Huge fun, and much enjoyed by hordes of jumping, skipping tinies.” And over at The Sunday Herald, Mark Brown described the show as “an impressive and ingenious combination of modern technology with the traditions of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures of Australia”. four separate monologues, Jamaican writer Karl O’Brien Williams’ 45-minute drama powerfully evoked the idea that identity is a complex issue, and that the things which divide and separate us can be equally as important. The Scotsman’s Joyce McMillan believed that Voices From The Black That I Am was strong in “evoking the inner lives of four people whose lives glow with an individual complexity that defies the easy shorthand of racial identity”. Mary Brennan, writing in The Herald, was also very taken with the production, insisting that the playwright’s work “gives voice to his characters’ individuality with a muscular, poetic style that can support ironic humour alongside intense soul-searching”. Jan Patience summed up the joy of seeing so much new art: “These exhibitions of final-year students’ work are the places to discover tomorrow’s art stars.” In The Scotsman, Moira Jeffrey insisted the best was still to come: “These artists are young, brave and probably very tired. It may take another four years for their true colours to emerge.”

l 27

REVIEW & Preview FILM

The Two Faces Of January (12A) Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Kirsten Dunst, Oscar Isaac ■ It’s Athens 1962. Chester and Colette (Mortensen and Dunst) are seemingly carefree and welloff US tourists who encounter an exiled American, Rydal (Isaac) who makes his living by ripping off naïve travellers. But in this lush adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s novel, he meets his

match with this couple. Reviewers were quick to acknowledge the old-school, quasi-Hitchcockian feel, with Alison Rowat in The Herald having noted that “Hossein Amini’s drama is a slickly done period thriller for anyone who mourns that they don’t make ‘em like they used to”. For The List, Allan Hunter was complimentary of the atmosphere and delivery: “It all makes for a thriller that balances urgent storytelling with ethical dilemmas.” Over at The Scotsman, Alistair Harkness was markedly less enamoured, comparing it unfavourably with the acclaimed filmic take on Highsmith’s The Talented Mr Ripley accusing the director of “draining the plot and the characters of any dramatic urgency”.

Average rating 6/10

Godzilla (12A) Starring: Bryan Cranston, Aaron-Taylor Johnson, Juliette Binoche ■ There’s nothing quite like a massive escaped monster stomping unsociably across town to make you realise that summer is finally here (even if the weather outside your chosen multiplex may suggest otherwise). The critics are utterly divided on this blockbuster from British director Gareth Edwards who chooses, Alien-style, not to reveal the full enormity of his terrifying creature too early. But when Godzilla finally appears, San Francisco gets the battering of a lifetime. Most impressed of all was The Skinny’s Josh-Slater Williams who compared it to Spielberg’s finest dinosaur and alien spectaculars with its “balancing of awe-inspiring spectacle and the accompanying terror induced by its world-altering premise”. The List’s Rob Carnevale also sat with mouth agape at the visual effects: “It knows how to deliver the type of spectacle befitting a movie of its size and boasts several jaw-dropping setpieces.” Less enthusiastic was Alison Rowat in The Herald, who concluded that “where this film falls down is in the long stretches between the spectacular sights”. But it was up to Siobhan Synnot in Scotland on Sunday to unleash the most fury upon the film, with this withering coup de grâce: “What’s depressing is how this bloated dino-bore falls short of being even solid summer escapism.” Don’t let ‘zilla read that review.

A Touch Of Sin (15) Starring: Zhao Tao, Jiang Wu, Wang Baoqiang ■ If the four separate stories which make up Jia Zhangke’s Cannes award-winning movie are indicative of China’s way of life, then it’s a country fully in the thrall of finance, violence and injustice. Set in locations as diverse as mining towns,

Average rating: 7/10

Gareth Moore GLASGOW SCULPTURE STUDIOS Until June 7 ■ During his three-month residency at GSS, Canadian artist Moore gathered up materials from the nearby Forth and Clyde Canal. By using the likes of discarded plastic bags, unfired clay and

brothels, factories and saunas, the film used real-life news stories to show how the pursuit of wealth has become the main driving for many in modern China. The critical response has been unanimously positive. In The Herald, Alison Rowat found it “an ultra-violent but riveting drama with corruption, lawlessness and men with guns aplenty”, while The Scotsman’s Alistair Harkness insisted that “the end result is tough to watch, but its pitiless outlook feels justified”. And in his five-star rave review, Alan Bett concluded that “this major work is cinematic in scope but loses none of the provocative truth that defines Zhangke’s oeuvre”.

Average rating 8/10 recorded animal sounds, his exhibition is an analysis of how much ownership artists can sometimes claim over their art.

Richard Forster: Modern INGLEBY GALLERY, EDINBURGH Until June 21 ■ At first glance, Forster’s work appears to be a set of

photographs. But look closer and you’ll realise that this is a series of masterfully rendered pencil drawings of photos ranging from Obama’s inauguration to pastoral scenes from the 1920s. In The List, David Pollock insisted that “the effect is to suggest a compelling interest in the visual fabric of history”. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

28 l THIS WEEK

SCOTS on the box

REVIEW & preview

Worth catching… Rio’s problems are tackled on screen while Glasgow rocks to the sounds of today. We also hear from a designer dandy and the songwriter once hailed as Scotland’s Bob Dylan.

TV: Copacabana Palace BBC2, shown on Mon May 12 ■ As Brazil limps towards the World Cup next month and throws together plans to host the Olympics in 2016 what of normal life in the socially-torn Rio? And more specifically, how are things down at the Copacabana Palace Hotel, the venue which has housed the rich and famous down the decades? Things seem perfectly fine, thank you, with dogs being shampooed and their owners getting pampered beyond belief. In The Herald, Julie McDowall was a little deflated at the documentary’s reluctance to put all this opulence into its proper context, with no mention of the slums nearby or the workers who have died while trying to make sure a football tournament starts on time. “What satisfaction is there in serving diced, luminous fruit to these rich people,” she wrote, “when, an hour before, you may have been lifting your child over the open sewer so he doesn’t get his bare feet soiled?”

Radio 1’s Big Weekend BBC Three, Saturday May 24, 7pm ■ Glasgow Green will come alive this weekend to the strains of some of modern chart pop’s biggest names and Radio 1 DJs Greg James (pictured) and Jen Long will be right on the scene to present BBC Three’s exclusive coverage. More than 50 UK and international artists, bands and DJs will be strutting their stuff for this event which, rather unsurprisingly, ties in with the Beeb’s contribution to the Glasgow Commonwealth Games. The four hourlong coverage will show a number of live performances from the Main Stage as well as the In New Music We Trust Stage. If you’re going and want to see yourself, best dig out that silly hat. So, what musical delights are ahead of us? Well, you’ll be able to soak up headliner Coldplay, as well as luxuriate in performances from Katy Perry, Ed Sheeran, One Direction, Pharrell Williams, Calvin Harris and Example at this, Europe’s largest free ticketed event. Jen and Greg will also be asking all the tough questions of the acts performing across the weekend.

RADIO: Tom Robinson Show

Bryan Burnett GET IT ON

Radio 6 Music Saturday May 24, 9pm ■ Tonight, Tom Robinson chats to the Scottish singer songwriter, Roddy Frame, best known for his former band, Aztec Camera, and the terribly catchy ‘Somewhere In My Heart’. This month sees Roddy (once hailed as Scotland’s answer to Bob Dylan) release his fourth solo album, Seven Dials.

RADIO: Laurence LlewelynBowen’s Primary Colours Radio 4 Wednesday May 28, 11am ■ Everyone’s favourite fop peers beneath the surface of this colour-saturated world to investigate what people are actually looking at when they see red, yellow and blue. In this opener, he returns to a period when most people were dressed in drably and painters struggled to source paint.

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

BBC Scotland’s request show picked some classic one-hit wonders

Martha And The Muffins

John Farnham

New Radicals

You’re The Voice

Echo Beach

The Maisonettes

You Get What You Give

Althea & Donna Uptown Top Ranking

Matthew Wilder Break My Stride

Heartache Avenue

Plain White T’s Hey There Delilah

Ricky Valance Tell Laura I Love Her

4 Non Blondes What’s Up?

■ Get It On ❘ Weekdays at 6.10pm

Louise White morning call The following questions were asked on BBC Scotland’s weekday Morning Call programme ■ Can politics ever be viewed as a noble profession again? ■ Do we have a problem with airguns in Scotland? ■ How do you cope with the scourge of midges?

■ Will leaders’ personalities play a part when you vote in the referendum? ■ Do you welcome armed police on our streets? ■ Are our teachers overworked?

■ Morning call ❘ Weekdays at 8.50am

l 29

REVIEW & preview

The best of this week’s books

SCOTTISH BESTSELLERS

The novel dubbed “Withnail with girls” staggers onto the Stooshie reading pile while there’s news about more awards success for Scotland plus a whole heap of history to catch up on.

HARD BACK 1. The Sex Lives Of Siamese Twins

RECOMMENDED

by Irvine Welsh

Animals

2. Blue Thunder

by Emma Jane Unsworth

by Jeff Holmes

■ The often sordid tale of a former full-on party animal caught between wishing to settle down with a normal guy and keeping the last embers of her chaotic lifestyle burning, the front cover of Unsworth’s second novel is adorned with a quote to die for. It’s “Withnail with girls” insists Caitlin Moran. Thankfully, excellent reviews are popping up to further boost the novel’s chances of success. Doug Johnstone in The Big Issue In Scotland hailed the wild portrayal of the two lead players: “Laura and Tyler are such engaging characters that it’s hard to read Animals without cracking open a bottle of wine and joining in the madness.” And in The List, Kaite Welsh was full of praise calling the book “a gripping, raucous read from one of Britain’s most promising young writers”. A quote for her third novel there if ever we’ve seen one.

3. The Legacy Of Elizabeth Pringle by Kirsty Wark

4. Bannockburn by Alistair Moffat

5. The Great Tapestry Of Scotland by Alistair Moffat and Andrew Crummy

6. Where Memories Go by Sally Magnusson

7. Hebrides by Peter May and David Wilson

8. Northanger Abbey by Val McDermid

9. A Song For The Dying Gallowglass

Flash Boys

Bannockburn

by Gordon Ferris

by Michael Lewis

by Alistair Moffat

by Stuart MacBride

10. A Pocket History Of Scotland by Tony Potter (editor)

■ The rise of Tartan Noir shows no sign of dipping and Ferris has made his mark on the sub-genre with a series of books about post-war Glasgow crime reporter Douglas Brodie. Gallowglass is the final instalment, kicking off at our hero’s ‘funeral’. Nothing is as it seems, though, with Tom Adair in The Scotsman noting that “there is a maze-full of unexpected twists and turns, a few dead ends, mistaken identities that will keep you guessing”.

■ Flash Boys tracks the story of Wall Street’s ‘high-frequency trading’ (HFT if you want to kick that about at dinner parties) and how one man set out to put an end to this dodgy practice. Writing in The Big Issue In Scotland, Thomas Quinn insisted that this book is a crucial read for anyone who wants to understand how highend capitalist trickery works in these ‘austere’ times: “Lewis is without doubt the most accessible, most entertaining writer about finance today.”

■ Moffat’s Bannockburn is one of several books analysing Scotland’s somewhat bloodier fight for independence back in 1314. In The Scotsman, Allan Massie pitted Moffat’s book against his competitors and declared him victorious: “Moffat is more demanding, but for those already acquainted with the period, more rewarding. His ability to convey the habits of mind and way of life in the Middle Ages is remarkable, his mastery of detail a constant pleasure.”

LOOK OUT FOR... ■ There was great success for Scottish book people in the Bookseller Industry Awards with Canongate scooping two gongs while the Edinburgh Bookshop won Children’s Bookseller Of The Year. Meanwhile, the Library Of The Year crown went to Midlothian Library Service.

■ Glad tidings for fans of George RR Martin’s Westeros, as a hefty tome about the history of the Game of Thrones universe is set for an autumn release (Westerosian Ygritte pictured right). The only downside is that The World Of Ice And Fire will push back the final two books. Seven hells!

PAPER BACK 1. Extraordinary People by Peter May

2. Hour Of Darkness by Quintin Jardine

3. The Quarry by Iain Banks

4. There Was A Wee Lassie Who Swallowed A Midgie by Rebecca Colby and Kate McLelland

5. Saints Of The Shadow Bible by Ian Rankin

6. The Bird That Did Not Sing by Alex Gray

7. For Faughie’s Sake by Laura Marney

8. Gone Are The Leaves by Anne Donovan

9. Making It Happen by Iain Martin

10. Scottish Independence: Yes Or No by Alan Cochrane and George Kerevan ■ Lists from Waterstones

24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

30 l CHEF’S CORNER

Carina Contini The Scottish Cafe and Restaurant, Edinburgh

After years of planning, Carina Contini can’t quite believe the Kitchen Garden Cookbook is now on general release, she wrote in The Scotsman. At the heart of the book with over 150 recipes is the story of the garden and Carina wrote: “When I open the gate and step into the plot, despite the trials and tribulations of the day, a weight is lifted and I start to smile.” The book also contains a celebration of many of the restaurant’s favourite suppliers and great tips about produce. The garden has given the family’s restaurants access to varieties of ingredients they might not have had otherwise.

tastiest FOOD & Drink Public duty to check food sources ■ Another week, another food scandal. As the Scottish press reported the temporary closure of Jamie Oliver’s London butchery because of serious hygiene problems, in his column in The Scotsman Stephen Jardine looked at the wider issues surrounding food scandals. He said the lesson is that “the public won’t tolerate being duped” and cited the controversy surrounding Pizza Express serving halal chicken, claiming that while many people object to the halal slaughter of animals, they ignored RSPCA figures which showed 90% of chickens reared for meat in the UK are kept to minimum welfare standards. “As long as the price is right, we’re happy to look the other way,” he wrote, adding: “The solution lies with us. We need to know where the meat on our plates comes from and if we don’t like the answer, order something else.”

Exclusive masterclass ■ The final event in the week-long Galvin Festival of Food and Drink will take place in Edinburgh at The Pompadour by Galvin on Sunday May 25.

Featuring whiskytasting and a culinary masterclass, places are limited and cost £150 per person. To reserve a place, call 0131 222 8975.

Kids give haggis a miss ■ Haggis may be Scotland’s national dish, but nearly half of Scottish schoolchildren have never tried it, according to a survey. The poll of five to 16-year-olds by Travelodge found 46% of Scots youngsters hadn’t sampled the Great Chieftain of the Puddin’ Race. In addition, 72% of children in Scotland had never tried black pudding and 70% had never had a Cornish pasty.

City brewery boost ■ Inverness could be set for a new state-of theart brewery and visitor centre after plans were submitted to the council last week. The Herald reported that the proposed venture on Ness bank is from Jon and Victoria Erasmus, owners of the Glen Mhor Hotel and Apartments in the city. The couple have have been working since 2012 on a proposal to develop the riverside site.

WINE OF THE WEEK SOL LUCET KOSHu £12.99 M&S Japanese gem on the high street Marks & Spencer claimed to have found the solution to that particularly vexing problem of which wine to serve with sushi by becoming the first high street retailer to stock Sol Lucet Koshu from Japan. Koshu wine has until now been seen only occasionally on wine lists in Japanese restaurants where it can cost £60 a bottle, wrote Tania Steere in the Scottish Daily Mail. The Mail’s wine reviewer said: “I tip my hat to the M&S winemaker, who has sniffed out a gem here.” Scottish Daily Mail the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

RECIPE of the week

Venison loin, haggis and braised shoulder boudin Ben Watson, head chef, Bridge Inn, Ratho Daily Record Ingredients (serves four) ■ 400g cabbage ■ One medium onion ■ One cinnamon stick ■ One tablespoon allspice ■ One teaspoon mustard seeds ■ 120g Demerara sugar ■ 200ml red wine vinegar

■ 400g shank boudin ■ 4x170g venison loin ■ One tablespoon rapeseed oil ■ 4x40g haggis ■ One egg ■ 100g breadcrumbs ■ Pea shoot garnish (optional)

Method Sticky Red Cabbage Wilt the cabbage with a finely diced onion, cinnamon stick, all spice and mustard seeds. Add the demerara sugar and red wine vinegar. Cook under a lid for approximately 25 minutes or until the liquid has evaporated and the cabbage is sticky. Keep warm and ready to serve. Shank Boudin Braise the shank until the meat falls off the bone and then pick the meat down and return to the pot with enough jus to cover it. Cook until the liquid has evaporated and the meat is rich and sticky. Cool the meat to blood temperature then roll in cling film to form a boudin. Venison Loin Trim the loin of all fat and portion to approximately 160g per serving then brush with rapeseed oil and sear for 40 seconds on each side. Roast in the oven at 185°C for three minutes. Rest for five minutes then carve and season to taste. Haggis Bon Bon Cook the haggis following the packet’s instruction. Allow haggis to reach room temperature and then roll into ping pong sized balls. Egg wash then roll in the breadcrumbs and fry at 180°C until crispy and hot. To Serve Arrange ingredients and garnish with pea shoots. The Bridge Inn has been shortlisted in the forthcoming Scotland Food & Drink Excellence Awards

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THE BEST RESTAURANT REVIEWS Cromlix Kinbuck, Stirling www.cromlix.com ■ There had been much speculation and anticipation surrounding Wimbledon champion Andy Murray’s foray into the world of luxury hotels – especially when it won a major hotel award less than three weeks after opening – but the restaurant at The Cromlix seems to have scored a resounding ace. For Richard Bath, the contrast between the “chunky mausoleum” he visited a decade ago and the newly-built restaurant was startling and he wrote in Scotland on Sunday that the Murrays deserve credit for “saving and reinventing this grand venue”. Although not cheap, with a bill of around £150 for two from the a la carte menu, the award-winning chef Darin Campbell – poached from One Devonshire Gardens – delivers an “assured and enjoyable meal”. This was echoed recently by The Press and Journal, which also praised the hotel’s “friendly, warm, knowledgeable” staff who could prove to be the Cromlix’s greatest asset. Both reviewers singled out the roast saddle of rabbit as the pick of the mains. Average score: 8/10 | Scotland on Sunday, The Press and Journal

Ubiquitous Chip Brasserie

Pig’Halle

The Post Box

Meldrums Hotel

12 Ashton Lane, Glasgow G12 8SJ www.ubiquitouschip.co.uk

South Street, Perth, PH2 8PG www.pighalle.co.uk

80 George Street, Perth PH1 5LB www.thepostboxperth.co.uk

56 High Street, Ceres KY15 5NA www.meldrums-hotel.co.uk

The Brasserie menu is far more reasonable than the Chip’s restaurant menu, yet you still get to eat in this Glasgow institution which is “so comfortable in its own skin”. On a busy Friday night, “the tables do the restaurant equivalent of hot desking”, Joanna Blythman wrote in the Sunday Herald. For such a busy operation, the reviewer reached the conclusion that many of the dishes may have too many elements and simpler creations may have avoided some of the food not being hot enough. The Brasserie would improve by losing its fine dining baggage.

Pig’Halle “takes pride in its full-on Frenchness”, wrote Ron Mackenna in The Herald. “Frogs’ legs, pigs’ head, even bone marrow and snails are on the menu”. It is a brasserie “with Parisian signs and ooh-la-la wallpaper”. A salad of ox tongue was “fabulous”, as was the basket of freshly baked bread. The pigs’ trotters are deboned and “the pink, sweet meat packed into a crisp parcel of filo pastry along with hazelnut and spinach” Chicken leg stuffed with pork and pistachio was richly flavoured. Overall, “simple and unpretentious food, served well”.

This relatively new restaurant is delivering first-class goods, wrote Gary Ralston, who appreciated the limited budget has been spent “where it really matters – in the kitchen”. The Post Box, which sits on the site of Perth’s first post office, has built up a welldeserved reputation in the last eight months and the “bustling, vibrant” restaurant with the warmest of welcomes and cleverly honed service dished up “wonderful” pigeon breast with minted peas and cottage cheese on a herb crouton and golden syrup crème brulee with orange shortbread and rhubarb and ginger ice cream.

So popular was the Iberian black pig dish, it had been snapped up by the time The Courier’s reviewer ordered, giving a perfect opportunity to revisit this restaurant which offers a cosmopolitan touch to a mix of Scottish and traditional gastropub dishes with its Iberian dishes. The potted duck was lipsmacking, while the Cullen skink was loved by a fellow diner who is well-known for his home-made version. Piri piri chicken was fiery but not overpowering and the special fish of the day was in a deliciously rich sauce. Service was “genuinely charming”.

Score: 7/10 | Sunday Herald

Score: 24/30 | The Herald

Score: 28/30 | Daily Record

Score: 40/50 | The Courier 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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PROPERTY

INSIDE OUT – our Pick of the Scottish Market

Craigcrook Castle, Ravelston, Edinburgh Offers: £POA Ballantynes ❘ www.ballantynes.uk.com n Offered for sale for the first time in nearly 300 years, this B-listed building is close to the city centre. Built originally in 1542 by William Adamson, it was transferred through a number of owners before John Strachan, Writer to the Signet, acquired

the castle and left it to the Craigcrook Mortification Trust in 1719. During its time, Craigcrook played host to several famous visitors including Sir Walter Scott, Charles Dickens and Alfred Lord Tennyson. Indeed, The Scotsman’s Kirsty McLuckie said that Craigcook, when sold, is expected to become the “most expensive residential property that has ever changed hands in the capital, smashing the £5 million mark”.

BIG BUDGET

Findhorn Place, The Grange, Edinburgh Offers Over: £995,000

Strathmoyne, 6 West Munro Drive, Helensburgh Offers Over: £650,000

McEwan Fraser ❘ www.mcewanfraserlegal.co.uk

Savills ❘ www.savills.com

n This property comprises an elegantly proportioned B-listed stone built detached villa situated in one of Edinburgh’s most desirable locations. The current owners have sympathetically upgraded the property to create a fabulous family home. the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

n Strathmoyne occupies a prime corner plot in arguably the most sought after location of town. It is home to works by some of Scotland’s celebrated architects, including MH Baillie Scott, William Leiper, Charles Rennie Mackintosh and Robert Wemyss.

PROPERTY

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St Adrians Pittenweem

Knight Frank

Pagan Osborne

Offers over: £1.45m

Offers over: £995,000

The house retains many quality features including both imported and Scottish oak, pitch pine and decorative cornice work.

❘ www.paganosborne.com

Chapel House Kingskettle

A magnificent detached Edwardian home dating back to circa 1904, which retains many fine period features.

5 George Street Cellardyke

James Grove Kirkcaldy

Pagan Osborne

Delmor

Fixed Price: £350,000

Offers over: £339,995

A sensitively renovated and exceptional waterfront home enjoying stunning sea views and garden gate to foreshore.

A rarely available detached Victorian villa set within a highly sought after school catchment area of Kirkcaldy.

❘ www.delmor.co.uk

❘ www.paganosborne.com

❘ www.KnightFrank.com

FANTASTIC FIFE

CLIMBING THE LADDER

10 Priory Place, Perth Fixed Price: £118,000

43 Rosemount Drive, Broxburn Offers In The Region Of: £97,000

Thorntons ❘ www.thorntons-property.co.uk

McEwan Fraser ❘ www.mcewanfraserlegal.co.uk

n A charming, two storey upper villa apartment situated in the heart of the sought after and popular Craigie district. The property offers easy access to all this area has to offer including the local shops, Post Office and two reputable primary schools.

n This is a delightful first floor flat situated within a highly desirable and much sought after residential location. The property has been beautifully modernised and well maintained by the current owners and is presented in move-in condition. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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the best travel writing

THE WORLD FROM SCOTLAND

Esme Allen The Scotsman

Gorilla Safari, Uganda

■ The sense of anticipation as a lifelong dream of seeing a mountain gorilla in the flesh was almost unbearable, but then Esme Allen and her husband “scrambled through the undergrowth and there, lying in the bushes completely unperturbed by our presence, was a large male gorilla playing with two extremely energetic youngsters”. The scene, typical of a dad playing rough and tumble with his children, became less otherworldly when the father “turned over ready for a nap, closed his eyes and farted”, breaking the tension among the watching group. For Esme Allen, a five-hour

trek through dense rainforest, was worth it for the sightings of gorillas. But the gorillas were just one of the highlights of the safari, which also saw Esme and her fellow twitcher husband “in heaven” as Uganda has more bird life than any other country in Africa. Other highlights were golden monkeys at Mgahinga National Park and light aircraft from Entebbe to the west of the country afforded views of herds of elephants bathing. Slightly too close for comfort were “the unmistakable fresh footprints of a leopard” as Esme and her husband strolled with an unarmed guide near their hotel, sending the intrepid explorers back to the hotel for “a well-earned drink on the verandah”.

TRAVEL SCOTLAND

TRAVEL BRITAIN

TRAVEL EUROPE

Whisky Tours

Cumbria

Provence

Sean Murphy ❘ Sunday Herald

Mary Ann Pickford ❘ Sunday Mail

Ashley Davies ❘ Scotland on Sunday

■ Urbanite Sean Murphy decided to make like a tourist and see for himself the attraction of the combination of Scotland’s national drink and scenery with a visit to Glengoyne distillery in the Campsies, where there is “fantastic scenery to go with a couple of drams”. After a tour which included the distillery’s private waterfall and the tasting room, Sean wrote “it is easy to see the appeal that draws so many visitors”.

■ Staying in a cosy cottage at the awardwinning Hall Hills in Cumbria, the morning wake-up call came courtesy of a flock of sheep outside the window – a novelty for diehard city-dwellers. But the charms of the cottage were left behind for some great days out, such as a three-hour treetop adventure at Go Ape, 360 metres above sea level, the historical sights of Carlisle’s castle and of course the Lake District’s star attraction, Hadrian’s Wall.

■ Crillon le Brave, a luxury boutique hotel surrounded by vineyards, tempts guests with the locally-produced cheeses, truffles and wine before they endure the gradients of a bike ride to the village, just a few kilometres from one of the most gruelling parts of the Tour de France. Luckily, the hotel’s mini-spa is on hand for a much-needed massage before sampling one of the hotel’s three outstanding restaurants.

TRAVEL NEWS Ferry fares freeze

Campaigners welcomed the news that controversial plans to increase fares on the Corran ferry had been put on hold after an economic impact study. However, the plans could be back on the agenda later this year, wrote The Press the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

and Journal, which added that the chairman of Highland Council’s community services committee had ruled out the prospect of a bridge being built instead. The Corran Ferry, run by Highland Council, is the second busiest in Scotland and currently costs £7.90 per car for a crossing of about 500 yards.

Foreign Exchange change ICE (International Currency Exchange) has been awarded the contract as sole foreign exchange provider at Edinburgh Airport, taking over from American Express. In a five-year contract, ICE will operate five branches at the airport and has installed 12 multicurrency ATMs.

Child-free flight tips The flight comparison website www. compareandfly.com has provided tips for avoiding sitting close to infants while flying, wrote the Sunday Mail. Fly on a Tuesday, which is the least popular day for young families to travel and avoid Saturdays, the most popular for infants.

THE BEST OF the great outdoors the garden experts Gardening when time is tight

Slimy spring surprise ■ Spring showers may be good for plants but they also bring out some unwelcome visitors. The Daily Record reminded gardeners that slugs and snails will target “perennials like lupins”, particularly after rain. Meanwhile new research found throwing snails 22 yards away protects gardens as well as killing them.

■ Hours, days and even weeks can be lost maintaining a garden. But that does not mean those unable to spend a lot of time tending plants and flowers cannot have a garden they enjoy, said Dave Allan in The Herald. He said that “when time is at a premium” gardeners should plant flowers that “can look after themselves, whatever the weather”. But while he said there are many flowers that “survive almost regardless” of conditions then it is necessary to “keep a wary eye” on them in case they take over a garden completely.

Biggest challenge of them all ■ Yosemite National Park in the USA is home to giant sequoias, the world’s largest trees, but they have suffered because of tourism. Now £21 million is being spent rectifying this, Carol Pogash reported in The Scotsman. She said a road and a gift shop that “impinged” on the forest are to be dug up. The trees can reach 250 feet in height but “have endured man’s folly” for centuries. Efforts to return the forest to its natural state are now paying off.

OOT AND ABOOT! Foraging around ■ Humankind has always foraged for food but scouring the countryside for edible nibbles has become a lost art. However, it is making a comeback according to The Scotsman’s Catriona Thomson. She said the success of Michelin-starred restaurants like Noma in Copenhagen have “put unusual tastes and wild ingredients” back on the menu. And she said culinary

adventurers in Scotland can find plenty to fill their plates around the countryside. Accompanied by “foraging guru” Monica Wilde, director of Edinburgh herb shop Napier’s, she was introduced to a range of new salad ingredients, such as sorrel and dandelions. Ultimately, she described foraging for food as “a revelation” and said it may “mean a new approach” to food shopping altogether.

Triathlon try-out ■ Many people enjoy swimming, cycling and running but not one immediately after the other. The Courier’s Gayle Ritchie was one such person but after spending an “exhilarating” day training with Maggie Lawson, organiser of the Montrose Triathlon in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support she admitted she may be changing her mind and may now enter the Angus event.

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NATURE’S BEST ■ The reintroduction of beavers to Argyll has been an “outstanding success” according to the ecologists behind their return. Four pairs of Eurasian beavers were reintroduced at Knapdale five years ago. With the monitoring phase of the trial drawing to a close this month, The Guardian said 14 kits have been born to the eight original beavers, although the total population currently stands at just 13. The Scottish Government will decide next year whether to allow the beavers to remain or even to introduce more animals to other parts of Scotland. Alternatively, they could be removed completely. Although the reintroduction of beavers has widespread public support, not everyone is happy. Anglers claim their return will damage salmon stocks. Andrew Graham-Stewart, director of the Salmon and Trout Association told The Times’ Danielle Sheridan the beavers may impact “salmon, sea trout and trout” populations. He said the trial should have taken place in an area with salmon to give a clearer picture of their impact.

Weather Wettest – Dunstaffnage 33.8mm

Warmest –

Auchencruive 21.5C (70.7F)

Coldest – Cairngorm Mountains -3.3C (26.1F)

Sunniest

– Glasgow 7.9hrs

Weather round-up:

Wet and warm conditions are perfect at this time of year for the dreaded midge, so Scots have been warned to expect a “plague” this summer. The Highlands could well be the worst hit, according to the Scottish Daily Mail, with midges expected to hit the region in “bumper numbers” this year. The paper quoted midge expert Dr Alison Blackwell, who suggested next month could herald the arrival of some “fairly big catches” following the first big hatch of the year. ‘With the mild winter it is likely to mean that more of the larvae will have survived this year, so we’re all set for large numbers for the first part of the season,’ she suggested. The same paper also highlighted research that suggested many tourists had been put off returning to Scotland at this time of year because of “culicoides impunctatus”, to give the midge its proper name. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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CONSUMER

Three of the best... Bike tech gadgets

PRODUCT TEST

Whether you’re getting on your two wheels to cut carbon emissions, avoid cramped commuting, save some cash or get in shape, cycling is a very fine pursuit. Thankfully, The Courier highlighted some clever accessories to help you on your way.

Design

GARDE gear N

Fallen Fruits Watering Can and Planters Gift Set £21.00 www.qvcuk.com

The Fallen Fruits Watering Can and Planters Gift Set (above) contains a vintage-style watering can and three circular planters with tray, all in a pretty garden-inspired print.

Winkku Indicators £29.99

Lifeproof Bike Mount £36.99

ion Adventure £270.00

Printed Garden Kneeler £22.95 www.liberty.co.uk

This set of cycle indicators adds another layer of safety to any journey on two-wheels, certainly in a city. Easy to clip onto your bike, one simple touch before you turn will get the LEDs flashing very noticeably. The indicators also feature an extra wide angle mirror and additional lights that operate after dark. An essential safety and confidence booster. www.winkku.co.uk

Seeing as we take our smartphone tech just about everywhere else, why shouldn’t we have a dedicated safe place for it on our bikes too. Load yours up with all manner of fitness apps, route mapping and other useful cycling software, and it can sit on your handlebars in either landscape or portrait mode. Don’t leave home without one. www.amazon.co.uk

It’s time to create a documentary of your two-wheeled adventures. It doesn’t matter if they’re of the daring off-road variety or just your daily commute, it’s all good fun (and ideal for YouTube). The Ion camera has built-in GPS tracking to keep tabs on where you are going, so you just stick it on your helmet (or on the handlebars) and enjoy the ride, over and over again. www.direct.asda.com

Emerson Short Printed Wellington Boot £40.00 www.radley.co.uk

Cushion and protect knees whilst working in the garden with Liberty’s printed oil cloth kneeler, which has a garden dictionary style design.

Radley Scottie dogs scamper amongst spring flowers in this Emerson light-hearted printed boot. A little bit ditzy and perfect for the season ahead.

DRIVE TIME

Skoda Rapid Spaceback Price from £14,500

Jaguar XF

Andy Enright ❘ The Press and Journal

Price from £35,795 Jack McKeown ❘ The Courier

“Supremely reliable” and on the market at a reasonable price, the Rapid Spaceback “more than justifies its existence”. While there “aren’t any great surprises” in terms of how it drives and looks, the chassis – incorporating parts from a VW Polo and VW Beetle – is “interesting” and is similar to a the Rapid hatch. The bodywork though is “new from the B-pillars back” and represents a “crisp piece of design work”, while the interior is deemed “unconventional in its own way”. But while the Rapid hatchback was a difficult car to pigeonhole, “a niche seller or worse, ignored altogether”, the Rapid Spaceback is a “much easier sell”.

The Jaguar XF has become a familiar sight since its launch in 2008 and its elegant looks no longer turn heads as they once did. Yet familiarity has not bred contempt and it remains one of the most beautiful mainstream cars on sale today. Most cars at this end of the market have high quality interiors, but Jaguar has had enough fairy dust sprinkled on it to elevate it to the realms of the truly special. Although some BMW and Audi engines manage slightly better fuel economy and lower emissions, neither the 5-Series or A6 puts a smile on your face quite like the XF does.

Hyundai Genesis Price around £40,000 Ken Gibson ❘ The Scottish Sun “Parked alongside a private jet, the Hyundai Genesis looks every inch the executive limo.” Hyundai might be setting the bar low in terms of its sales targets, with only a few hundred set to be sold across Europe in 2014, but the “Koreans don’t do things by half – and the Genesis is here to stay”. This model is “light years away” from the old Sonato and is spacious, sleek-looking and full of gadgets, so much so that once inside “you could be in the back of a German executive car”. Indeed, if you stuck an Audi or Mercedes badge on the front of this car, “people would be queuing up”. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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BUSINESS & FINANCE Hired, Fired & RETIRED

Pursuit of AstraZeneca casts Scot as Yankee vulture American giant’s £69bn bid to take over Britain’s second biggest drugs firm has placed the spotlight squarely on softly-spoken accountant and Pfizer ‘lifer’ Ian Read ■ Pfizer boss Ian Read is hardly a household name, but his company’s repeated efforts to snap up AstraZeneca have thrust him into the spotlight. Two weeks of back and forth between the two pharma companies came to an end earlier this week, when a ‘final’ offer of £69bn was rejected out of hand by the Astra board. Forfar-born Mr Read, who had hoped to register his newlyenlarged company in the UK for tax purposes but retain a head office in New York, had given assurances over UK jobs. But nay-sayers claimed Pfizer has a history of cost-cutting and a takeover would only disrupt work to create vital life-saving medicines. The contest looks to be over – for now at least – with City rules forbidding any further bids for a period of six months.

COMMENTATORS SAY

Struggling high street favourite Marks & Spencer reported its third consecutive fall in profits, with underlying returns falling

The retailer, which has found itself under fire over the quality of its womenswear collections for several years, said it had seen “early signs” of improvement in its general merchandising arm. But the group’s M&S Food division continued to lead the way. Growth in revenues there once more offset declines elsewhere, allowing the business to post better than expected profits of £623m for the year.

3.9%

during the 12 months to March 29

Mr Read would be lauded as a great British export in any other circumstances, wrote Robert Lea in The Times. He described the Pfizer boss as “among the highest corporate achievers from these isles anywhere in the world”. But, with the American giant now widely considered a hungry shark rather a fêted and welcome guest, Mr Read got “badly found out” during an appearance before Westminster’s business select committee following talk of “AZee” and “twenny” per cent development commitments. The Scotsman gave us two perspectives. In the paper, city editor Martin Flanagan said Mr Read and Pfizer “deserved” their fate after Astra rejected

the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

a final offer which “always looked like a research and taxcutting move”. But at www.scotsman.com business editor Terry Murden wasn’t sure if Pfizer’s goose was cooked after all. He said Astra’s latest rejection had effectively put a price on the company, letting Mr Read know just how much he would need to pay. So why no hostile takeover bid? Murden wondered if the US giant behind Viagra had the stomach for a public spat with politicians and an inquiry by competition authorities, and wouldn’t rather mount a “six-month charm offensive” hoping to win over doubters. The Herald’s Mark Williamson reported how Aberdeen Asset Management chief exec Martin Gilbert has already spoken of “public interest issues” raised by the deal, but also on fund managers’ regret at the lack of a “constructive conversation” between the parties. The Financial Times said recriminations were flying. Lex argued that a drug company “is an asset like any other”, adding “the price is right”.

■ The departure of Geoff Holmes from his role as UK boss at North Sea oil giant Talisman Sinopec flummoxed industry watchers in Aberdeen. The Press and Journal’s Jeremy Cresswell took to Energy Voice to report that the move had set tongues wagging, but had to admit he just didn’t know what was behind it. ■ The finance chief of Fife-based shopfitting outfit Havelock Europa has resigned. No reason was given for the sudden departure of Grant Findlay, who lives in Yorkshire, but new man Ciaran Kennedy has already been lined up. ■ Managing director of Lloyds Banking Group Lady Susan Rice has been nominated as the chair of the Scottish Fiscal Commission by finance secretary John Swinney. She will be joined Professor Andrew Hughes Hallett and Professor Campbell Leith on the body, which will review receipts from devolved taxes. ■ Former Scotland Rugby international Bill Gammell stood down from his role as chair of Cairn Energy at the oil firm’s annual general meeting.

BUSINESS & finance WEEK IN NUMBERS

57.7%

The proportion of the multiple retail oatmeal white pudding market served by Buckie-based Speyside Specialities. The firm sold a total of 1,056,866 puds during 2013.

28 million

The total tonnage of shipping which passed through Aberdeen Harbour during 2013. The result – which matched the previous year’s outturn despite a reduction in traffic following November’s helicopter tragedy off the Shetland Islands – underlined the need for additional facilities, The Press and Journal reported.

£30,000

The amount Scottish Gas invests in training each apprentice who joins the company. Managing director Kevin Roxburgh celebrated Scottish Apprenticeship Week by telling The Herald his firm had helped train more than 500 young people over the last decade.

Powering up Price freeze defied ■ Energy giant SSE posted adjusted pre-tax profits of £1.55bn this week, once again inviting scrutiny of power bills. The Perth-based group, which had earlier boasted how it contributed around £9.1bn to the UK economy last year, has already frozen its prices until 2016 following an 8.2% hike late last year.

Growing demand for staff softened last month, according to the latest installment of research into the jobs market by the Bank of Scotland. Its Labour Market Barometer fell 1.4 points to

62.5

in April, meaning Scotland now lags behind the UK in the pace of job creation.

£1.9bn

The Sunday Times Rich List said the Grant-Gordon whisky family’s assets made them Scotland’s wealthiest. The yearly listing found the 100 richest Scots enjoy a combined wealth of £25bn.

But the company said its 9.6% surge in pre-tax profits was down to the wholesale side of its business as retail profits were down 28% because of the mild winter. In The Scotsman, Gareth Mackie said analysts would be looking closely – with broker Deutsche Bank warning of more modest growth to come.

Investors say yes to post-yes caution ■ Shareholders have backed the stance taken by Edinburgh finance and investment house Standard Life as it continues to make detailed contingency plans for the event of a Yes vote in the independence referendum. The Scotsman’s Dominic Jeff said investors got behind moves to protect customers from the effect of what chairman Gerry Grimstone called a “number of material issues” which “remain unresolved”. The Herald’s Simon Bain said Mr Grimstone was taking steps to guarantee continuity. “Nobody can tell you what the arrangements would be,” the chairman said of a post-independence Scotland. By contrast, Lloyds faced a volley of questions from investors, but Jeff said the partially taxpayer-owned bank was adopting a “wait-and-see” approach. But chairman Lord Blackwell made no guarantees on jobs.

COMMENTATORS SAY

360

The number of Scottish businesses to have won supply and sub-contract deals from the construction of the new Forth Replacement – or Queensferry – Crossing. But The Courier also reported criticism that £157m of the £393m spent so far has been paid to firms outside Scotland.

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Making up the losses ■ Manufacturing continued on its upward trajectory. Confidence amongst Scottish producers rose to a new high last month thanks to growth in the Eurozone, according to the latest business trends report from advisors BDO. And that has boosted hopes of a ‘rebalancing’ away from the dominance of the service economy. It was the second bit of good news for the sector in a week.

The Scotsman’s George Kerevan reckoned the great and good at Scottish Engineering’s annual dinner this month would be able to relax a little – after a recent purchasing managers survey also found a “notable” climb in output. But he warned bosses against sitting on their laurels and instead urged diners to look to what they can do to boost exports. His example was Falkirk bus maker Alexander Dennis, which has established a global support network while retaining 900 staff at home. The Courier’s James Williamson warned that while the news showed manufacturing’s demise had been exaggerated, there could yet be bumps in the road.

talking heads “We can either remain locked in a technology where we are scraping the barrel... or we can innovate and diversify our energy supply and unlock a new set of energies where the returns are much higher.” Leo Johnson, brother of London mayor Boris, visited a £70m windfarm near Garve in Ross-shire. Pupils at a nearby primary named the Eneco project ‘The Spinny Turners’.

“Given the current level of demand for skilled employees and the high level of activity on the UK continental shelf, it is in the industry’s interest to increase its focus on tackling this lack of gender diversity.” Oil & Gas UK’s Alix Thom said women are a “not fully utilised pool of talent” for the sector. The female offshore workforce fell slightly to 3.6% of the 61,892 total last year.

“Council taxpayers may throw up their hands at the prospect of more expense and disruption, but an extension – in fact, several extensions – is a no-brainer” The Scotsman’s business editor Terry Murden risked his readers’ good humour with his backing for the capital’s tram system. He argued an extension was “the logical conclusion” for a limited service never likely to recoup its costs. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT

Murray prepared for the fight at Roland Garros as French Open nears ■ Andy Murray looks to have have gained some muchneeded momentum ahead of the start of the French Open in Paris after a difficult start to the season. The Scot looked much more like himself at the Italian Open last week and pushed world number one Rafael Nadal all the way before being pipped at the post by the Spaniard in their quarter-final. But with an all-important Grand Slam at Roland Garros now just hours away, Murray appears to be in a good place. “I feel like I’ve played some of my best tennis in the slams in recent years,” Murray admitted. “I need to make sure I’m on it from the beginning of matches, no slow starts, I think I’ve got a good opportunity to do well in Paris.” The Daily Telegraph’s Simon Briggs suggested Murray’s

performance against Nadal was as if a “switch flicked on”, a “metaphorical finger-wag at those who have questioned his recent form”. And although the Scottish Daily Mail’s Mike Dickson suggested Murray had been war weary after his “relentless scrap” against Nadal on clay, there was “little dejection in the spirit” of the Scot. “For it appears that, in the nick of time ahead of a period that sees two Grand Slams plus the Aegon Championships within six weeks, the Scot is finally within sight of recapturing the kind of form that is going to be required,” he continued. Dickson noted Murray could still find it difficult to beat the big guns on current form but concluded: “It could be that a difficult nine months of his career is being consigned to the past.”

Scots babes can hold their heads high

OTHER NEWS

■ Scotland Under 17s saw their hopes of a place in the European Championship finals dashed by a devastating young Dutch side, but they can still “hold their heads high”. That was the view of coach Scot Gemmill after the Scots went down 5-0 to Holland in the semifinals, although qualifying for the final four was a feat in itself as Gemmill’s young lads – including Ryan Hardie (below) – had defeated Germany and Switzerland en route to the latter stages in Malta. The Scottish Sun’s Kenny Millar, out in Malta with the team, said the Scots “shot themselves in the foot – after giving Scottish football a welcome shot in the arm” but stressed that the team had “showed enough over the last two weeks to suggest there are brighter days ahead”. “The Scots didn’t deserve to bow out like this but, when the dust has settled, there will be plenty of positives to take,” he said.

Bid to bring cup to Glasgow A bid has been launched to bring badminton’s Sudirman Cup to Scotland in 2017. BADMINTONscotland, Glasgow City Council, UK Sport and EventScotland are delivering a bid to the Badminton World Federation to see the competition staged in Glasgow, with a final decision due in October. Glasgow first staged the Sudirman Cup, which is the world’s mixed team championship held every two years, in 1997.

Di Resta in the points Scotland’s Paul Di Resta claimed his first points of the DTM season after finishing fourth in wet conditions at Oscherslaben, Germany. The former F1 driver had struggled on his return to the sport at Hockenheim and only finished 14th, but Di Resta moved himself up the pecking order in the latest round and even managed to recover from being shunted off the road at speed by Maxime Martin to claim a points finish.

Tour chief apologises European Tour chief executive George O’Grady apologised for the decision to continue play at the Madeira Open following the death of caddie Iain McGregor. McGregor (52) died of a heart attack in the final round while caddying for Scot Alastair Forsyth, but tournament organisers came in for criticism after play continued later in the day.

HAUD YER WHEESHT! ■ With just under 20 days to go until the World Cup, some pundits have suggested that an England win could boost support for Scottish independence. Roy Hodgson’s men are priced around 14/1 to go on and lift the trophy in Brazil and, while few reckon they actually will on July 13, The Daily Telegraph’s Iain Martin said he believes the sudden lack of expectation down south means opponents may “approach the matches this summer in a complacent and sloppy frame of mind”.

Indeed, he said: “England could win the World Cup in Brazil, by accident. “The Union is in grave danger. In such circumstances, the England manager Roy Hodgson (a decent man) must now be persuaded by MI6, or the Prime Minister, to do his patriotic duty, which means ensuring that England lose.” Having said that, First Minister Alex Salmond – in his now infamous interview with GQ – said he wanted the “best side” to win, adding: “I hope England do well.” 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT Scots on the up?

Ryder Cup on the radar

Scots aim to get into Gleneagles contention ■ Some of the world’s top golfers are in action in the BMW PGA Championship at Wentworth this weekend, although the Scottish contingent could be forgiven for having the Ryder Cup on their radar. Stephen Gallacher (above) will be among those leading the homegrown assault as he seeks to build on his good recent form, while 2012 runner-up Paul Lawrie also harbours hopes of sneaking into Paul McGinley’s European team against the United States in September on home turf.

Marc Warren, who lost out to Italy’s Matteo Manassero after a three-man play-off with Simon Khan last year, will similarly be flying the Scottish flag at Wentworth. The PGA Championship has been a tough nut for Scots to crack over the years and there has not been a winner representing north of the border since Scott Drummond unexpectedly claimed the title nearly a decade ago. Prior to that, Andrew Oldcorn claimed the crown in 2001, while Colin Montgomerie had also made the tournament his

own in the late ‘90s – winning the event in 1998, 1999 and 2000. Sky Sports’ Bruce Critchley said he reckons the course will prove a tough test for anyone this weekend. He said the “design skills of Ernie Els turned what had become a bit of a toothless monster back into the long, hard, tough inland championship course always intended”. “Having seen Wentworth during its difficult days, it has been a pleasure to see it at its best,” he commented.

COMMENTATORS SAY ■ Many media outlets focused the former Open champion “needs a hot summer” after on Stephen Gallacher’s slipping down the world chances of making the Ryder rankings in recent months. Cup ahead of this weekend’s Interviewing Gallacher at PGA Championship. a new £1 million clubhouse Writing in The Scottish in Aviemore with “the snowSun, Jim Black suggested capped Cairngorms over his Gallacher is “fired up and shoulder”, The Scotsman’s ready to enter the business Martin Dempster noted the end of his Ryder Cup setting was “a far cry from bid”, with this week’s PGA the frenzy that will envelop Championship a key plank of Gleneagles” in September. those preparations. However, he said it was He suggested the Bathgate no surprise the Ryder Cup ace “knows he has to build “figured prominently” in on his success in winning Gallacher’s sitdown with some the Dubai Desert Classic members of the Scottish by securing at least two golfing press at the official more big finishes” to claim opening of the Aviemore an automatic spot in Paul facility, adding that Gallacher McGinley’s team. was “open and honest” about The same paper suggested that goal. Paul Lawrie is also hoping to catch McGinley’s eye, but said Dempster highlighted the stooshie ❘ www.thestooshie.co.uk

Gallacher’s hectic run of events coming up, including the US Open, Scottish Open and the Open Championship. Then comes the WGCBridgestone Invitational then USPGA Championship back-to-back, by which time the Ryder Cup qualifying campaign will be reaching “simmering point.” However, the last word has to go to Gallacher himself who, in his column in The Press and Journal, admitted he had taken the Spanish Open off to recharge. “This is definitely the most travelling I have done by this stage of the season and probably the most golf I have played, so it is important to have a break now and then,” he said.

■ While most of Scottish football’s end of season equations have been solved, this coming weekend is a big one for English football sides – and some exiled Scots – seeking promotion. Top of that list is Derby County who take on QPR at Wembley for a place in the Premiership, with Scots Johnny Russell (below), Chris Martin, Craig Bryson and Craig Forsyth all hoping to help County make the step up. Elsewhere, Rotherham United – managed by Scot Steve Evans – will be aiming for play-off glory of their own as they take on Leyton Orient in the League One play-off final.

Quick FIRE ■ Hurdling great Colin Jackson said Mo Farah’s hunger for more medals was behind his decision to compete at Glasgow 2014. Scottish Daily Mirror

■ A lack of sponsorship forced East Scotland Warriors chief Donald Sampley to ditch plans for an Edinburgh team in basketball’s British League. The Herald

■ Scottish athlete Emily Dudgeon all but booked her place at Glasgow 2014 with a victory in the 800m in Leicestershire. The Herald

SPORT

good week

QUOTES

Marc McNulty

The Livingston striker has been signed by English side Sheffield United. The Blades, who signed fellow Livi player Stefan Scougall, had been monitoring McNulty for some time and agreed an undisclosed fee with Livingston for the 21-year-old. McNulty scored 19 goals in 39 appearances for Livi this season and is regarded as one of the finest young talents in Scotland.

l 43 “If I could emulate what some other Scottish managers have done at Wembley I will be happy.” steve evans Rotherham boss ahead of play-off showdown

■ Javelin thrower James Campbell was relieved as his 70.01m throw at the Loughborough International moved him closer to Glasgow 2014.

Kim Little

Scotland women’s football cap Kim, who now plays for Seattle Reign, has been rewarded for making a huge impact in her first season playing in the USA. She has just been voted US Player of the Month after scoring six goals in seven games.

BAD week

Scott Harrison

Harrison’s hopes of a comeback look to be well and truly over after the British Boxing Board of Control refused to give him a licence to fight in this country. The 36-year-old former WBO featherweight champion had previously had his licence withheld because the BBBC wanted him to prove he had no cases pending in Spanish courts.

Scots’ summer tour squad selected ■ New Scotland rugby coach Vern Cotter named six uncapped players in his 43-man double squad for Scotland’s packed June Test match tour schedule. Glasgow Warriors’ captain Al Kellock was missing, but forwards Gordon Reid, Alex Allan and Kevin Bryce were included with colleague Finn Russell, London Irish openside Blair Cowan and

Edinburgh Rugby scrumhalf Grayson Hart for the tour which will mark Cotter’s introduction to the role. Cotter, replacing Scott Johnson at the helm, split his squad into two, with one half in contention for games against the USA on June 7 and Canada on June 14 and the other for the games against Argentina on June 20 and South Africa on June 28. The new coach was hampered by the fact a number of players will not tour either through injury, surgery or involvement in the sevens competition at Glasgow 2014. Richie Vernon, James Eddie, James Johnstone, Roddy Grant, Scott Riddell, Colin Shaw, Lee Jones, Colin Gregor, Scott Wight, Mark Bennett, Sean Lamont and Tommy Seymour were named in the sevens squad.

Malky mackay Ex-Cardiff boss wants a return to management

“He is worried about his legacy and that will take a severe dent if it goes wrong at Wembley.” JIM WATT Scot says pressure is on Carl Froch ahead of George Groves bout

“We know it is somewhere we can go and be good enough to get the result we want.”

Eden Sharav

The Scots snooker player had hoped to earn a two-year pro card by beating China’s Tian Pengfei at Qualifying School in Gloucester but ended up losing 4-0.

“I’m looking to get back in as quickly as possible.”

■ Laurent Koscielny of Arsenal beats Scot Allan McGregor as Arsenal ran out 3-2 winners over Hull City in the FA Cup final at Wembley.

gregor townsend Glasgow Warriors’ coach looking forward to Pro12 final in Dublin 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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SPORT

OFF

Heart in mouth time for Hibees? ■ So it has all come down to this. Eventually. Hibernian’s dismal form as the season entered its final stages saw various pundits suggest the Edinburgh club would slip into the relegation play-off weeks before that exact fate was sealed, and now Terry Butcher’s side must either rise to the occasion or drop out of the Premiership altogether. It is not only crunch time for the team of course, as pressure has been mounting on Butcher and – perhaps increasingly – Hibs chief Rod Petrie to get

things right on the pitch. However, a week is a long time in football and Butcher has stressed that the Edinburgh club have already put their disappointing end to the league season behind them and are ready to battle for their place in the Premiership. It is currently half-time – of sorts – in their double-header against Hamilton Accies as both teams seek to secure topflight status, and it will all be decided in front of Hibs’ own fans at Easter Road in Sunday’s second leg. Having said that, Hamilton

will fancy their chances and boss Alex Neil has urged his players not to blow their second chance of promotion. Accies were devastated after missing out on the Championship title despite a 10-2 win against Morton on the final day of the season, and the fact they came through a tricky semi-final against Falkirk to book their spot suggests they will be up for the fight. Will Hibs end up joining capital rivals Hearts in next season’s Championship? We’ll know on Sunday.

COMMENTATORS SAY ■ You can sense that the pressure is all on Hibs, judging by the papers this week. The Herald’s Graeme MacPherson said the two teams involved in the play-off had been “moving in opposite directions”, with the only question being if Hibs can “belatedly discover some form when they most need it”. The Scottish Daily Mail’s John Greechan noted that while Hibs’ back four had at times looked “as comfortable as Nigel Farage under heavy questioning” this season, he asked if Hibs’ better players had at least have “a couple of competent performances within them”. Having said that, he said the group of players in their current predicament had “completely failed to

cope with the pressure of a relegation battle”. “At the moment, most would identify Hibs as the archetypal soft touches, forver underachieving – and accompanied by a soundtrack of handwringing and cries of ‘same old Hibs’ from the cheap seats,” he added. Scotland on Sunday’s Moira Gordon suggested that if Hibs were to go down it would be “because the league campaign ended the way the season began, with a whimper and plenty of whining”. She noted that Hibs had battened down the hatches ahead of the play-off to “galvanise the fragile spirit and find a way of digging out goals”, but stressed that the heat will be on chairman Rod Petrie whatever the result.

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“He remains the man with the clout, the chairman and the man whose head punters will want on a plate if the playoffs don’t bring a turnaround in fortunes,” she mused. Indeed, Petrie “needs the escape act this week more than anyone”, she concluded. Looking at the wider picture, the Daily Record’s Craig Swan said the play-off system perhaps needs to go “one step further to get it absolutely right” as it appears weighted in favour of the Premiership team. “The Premiership teams knew we needed change but it was far too dodgy to have one of them plunged into a precarious position of being relegated by the bounce of a ball or a dodgy decision,” he commented.

THE BALL

■ With famous St Johnstone fan Stuart Cosgrove attending the Scottish Cup final, Graham Spiers and Tam Cowan took centre stage as the BBC Scotland show previewed the Scottish Cup final. ■ They were joined by actor and comedian Tony Roper and John O’Neil, who played for both finalists in his career, and looked at the chances of both teams. ■ The show also poked fun at Hearts’ new owner Ann Budge with their closing song, opting for Elvis Presley’s ‘(You’re the) Devil in Disguise’.

Saints deserve more success, says Brown ■ It might take a wee while longer for St Johnstone fans to come down from cloud nine after they lifted the Scottish Cup last Saturday – the first trophy win in the club’s 130 year history. Every Scottish paper carried extensive coverage of Saints’ historic victory and former chairman Geoff Brown now hopes their 2-0 success over Dundee United – and the incredible scenes in Perth as the cup was taken on an open-top bus the following day – will spark a rise in crowd figures. “Perth has never been seen as a football city, so let’s hope that’s all changed now,” he said.

SPORT

good week

QUOTES

Cowdenbeath

The T-shirts worn by the Cowdenbeath players after their 3-0 win over Dunfermline said it all: “The Great Escape”. The Blue Brazil had looked destined for League One football at one stage earlier in the season, but they battled back under Jimmy Nicholl and stunned the Pars 3-0 at East End Park in their play-off final to retain their Championship status. That secured a 4-1 victory on aggregate.

“You dream about it growing up so to realise that dream is incredible.” DAve mackay Saints’ cup-winning captain lived the dream

■ St Johnstone quartet (left to right) Michael O’Halloran, James Dunne, Stevie May and Lee Croft celebrate the Perth club’s historic first ever Scottish Cup win after a 2-0 success over Dundee United.

Calum Paterson

HEADLINES

Hearts may have been relegated, but their late season revival will no doubt have given people plenty food for thought ahead of next term. Paterson, clearly a key player as Craig Levein and Robbie Neilson rebuild at Tynecastle, capped a fine campaign by being named SPFL Young Player of the Month.

Dunfermline Athletic

The Pars, who battled back from the brink of extinction earlier this season following financial woes, must count the cost of failing to secure promotion back to the Championship – missing out on gates against the likes of Rangers, Hearts and Raith.

“When everyone was wanting an AberdeenDundee United cup final, I thought the real story was us. That proved to be the case.” tommy wright The Saints boss hailed a career pinnacle

football: Rangers fan group the Union of Fans warned that Ibrox and Murray Park are in “grave danger”, adding it is “impossible to deal with the board in good faith”.

United reflect on dark day

BAD week

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■ Dundee United will live to fight another day despite their Scottish Cup defeat. Those were the sentiments of many pundits on the day. “United did not leave Celtic Park with the trophy, but they did carry away with them some valuable lessons,” suggested BBC Scotland’s Richard Wilson. And The Herald’s Hugh MacDonald suggested that while it was a “sobering lesson”, the “boys can be back in town for another final next season” – highlighting the potential the youthful United squad has.

Shinty: Glenurquhart beat Newtonmore 2-1 in a sudden death shootout to book their spot in the RBS McTavish Cup final. The other semi-final between Kinlochshiel and holders Lovat was abandoned in heavy rain. Meanwhile, the AJG Parcels Celtic Society Cup in the south will be a repeat of last year’s showpiece between holders Kyles and Inveraray. BOXING: Inverness heavyweight Gary Cornish has been nominated for a British title eliminator by the British Boxing Board of Control. Cornish must take on ex-Commonwealth champ Sam Sexton by the end of September.

“I’ll continue to do my best for this club, so next time we get here we send the fans home happy.” Jackie McNamara Dundee United’s boss looked to the future

“We’re gutted but we are still in a very good place.” Stephen Thompson United’s chairman was disappointed about his side’s “no show” but reminded fans about more recent dark times

East Fife

There was disappointment elsewhere in the Kingdom as East Fife were relegated to League Two. The Fifers went into the second leg of their play-off final with a 2-1 advantage over Stirling Albion, only to lose 2-0 on the day.

■ Dundee United star Gary Mackay-Steven cuts a dejected figure after his side’s Scottish Cup final defeat. 24 May 2014 ❘ the stooshie

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COMMENT

FRED SAID Comedian, broadcaster and presenter

FRED MACAULAY

Bluffer’s guide to the World Cup ■ I’ll stick with football for a wee bit longer if you don’t mind. Not long now to the start of the World Cup in Brazil, so here are a few lines for anyone who isn’t too bothered about the event but still wants to be part of the excitement. Just lob these into conversations... ■ “I don’t think you can write off the Germans.” ■ “Spain surely can’t maintain the form they’ve had over the last couple of tournaments.” ■ “Italy always come good in the finals.”

The Scottish Cup Final? You had to be there... Fred isn’t one to miss a great sporting moment but for cup final weekend he was on course for another kind of victory

■ “Can’t believe you missed it!!” The greatest day in St Johnstone’s 130-year history and there I was, a Perthshire man, NOT at the final! I was on one of the great links golf courses in Scotland with some school pals rather than shouting myself hoarse at Celtic Park as The Mighty Saints romped home. For some it was a “must see, once in a lifetime opportunity”. For me, I’ve been at St Johnstone’s two League Cup Finals and saw them beaten both times. I’ve been at Wembley three times for Scotland games against the Auld Enemy... (three more defeats). I was at the opening game of the 1998 World Cup Finals when we trounced Brazil in all aspects of the game – apart

Clarifications and corrections The Stooshie is committed to journalism of the highest standards and we aim to produce our magazine with accuracy, honesty and fairness. Our journalists adhere to the DC Thomson company values of integrity, respect, commitment and creativity. We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice which is enforced by the Press Complaints Commission. It is our policy to publish clarifications and corrections when necessary and as quickly as possible. You can contact us by email at: editor@thestooshie.co.uk or by writing to: The Readers’ Editor, The Stooshie, 80 Kingsway East, Dundee DD4 8SL.

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from the result (a defeat). I’ve been to well over 100 Scotland football and rugby matches over the years. I’ve watched Scotland playing in the last games of the group stages of World Cup Finals where we’ve chanted at the TV set a line that should be included in any national anthem we eventually settle on, namely: ‘mathematically we might still qualify’. So I’ve known my share of sporting disappointment. And I might never get the chance to see St Johnstone lift a major trophy, but at Nairn on Saturday, Bruce and I beat Glenn and Roy by five and four, so in the clubhouse that evening it was a double celebration for the football and the golf. And for the latter, I was DEFINITELY there.

■ “England? Well as long as it doesn’t go to penalties...” (Then chuckle). ■ “Brazil all the way, as if they need home advantage!!” ■ “Argentina have too much talent not to be a consideration.” ■ “It’s a sin Ibrahimovic isn’t there. Mind you Giggs never played in a World Cup tournament.” ■ “I’m going to the kitchen, can I get anyone a beer?” Keep this in a safe place, it’ll do you again in four years time.

Information about the Code of Practice can be obtained from The Press Complaints Commission at Halton House, 20/23 High Holborn, London EC1N 2JD or email complaints@pcc.org.uk or call 0845 6002757 or 0207 8310022. Published in Great Britain by D.C. Thomson & Co. Ltd, 185 Fleet Street, London, EC4A 2HS. © D. C. Thomson & Co., Ltd, 2014. Distributed by Marketforce, Blue Fin Building, 110 Southwark Street, London, SE1 0SU. Tel: +44(0) 20 3148 3300 Fax: +44(0) 20 3148 8105 Website: www. marketforce.co.uk

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