Quitting the fix

Quitting the Fix!~ By: DeAnnA (ShipmAn) SABAoth 2/04/2015

As a child, life was a bit difficult. Some have experienced worse than me, but this is a memoir about me; so here goes. At the age of 8 I started smoking cigarettes, not good but I did it. I found myself stealing my mom’s cigarettes and smoking them as fast as I could so I wouldn’t get caught. Many times I climbed the trees and even got on top of the roof so no one would smell or see the smoke. But it took a while for me to come down because I would get high from the nicotine.

As time passed I began making this a regular habit. By the age of 13, I was smoking half a pack a day and by 15, a pack a day. After 3 decades of this I decided it was time to quit. On several occasions I attempted to quit, but to no avail. Each time it became more frustrating and I began smoking more as a failed attempt in quitting the fix. Most of the time my thoughts were, “I would never be able to quit smoking!”

You see, every time I had an issue I would run to my trusty fix, the cigarette.

People would say, “You can talk ya know.” I’d just look at them crazy and think, “Yeah right! Pfft, That’s Not Happening!” I knew I had to deal with my issues on my own. Dealing with my issues was key in order to truly quit and not return to the vomit of nicotine.

My decision was to conquer them mentally first, then physically. For one year, each and every time I purchased a pack of cigarettes I told that pack, “I am going to quit buying you!!!” Then, the following year I decided to go deeper.

Each and every time I smoked a cigarette I would tell the cigarette, “I am going to quit you you!!!” Often times I would cuss it out as if it were some sort of being, literally calling it a rat bastard or a piece of shit that I abhorred to no end. However, the joke was on me, I was the being and it had control over me!

Not me controlling it! People saw me talking or screaming at my cigarette, probably thinking I am some sort of nut job, but at that moment I was. I wasn’t offended at their looks either. This is something I had to do for myself, not for the crowd. That all came to an end, joyfully!!!

While living in Austin, it became a popular trend to smoke the e-cig. Many of my co-workers grouped up and stopped together. I watched them for 2 months wondering if I could also, before I took the plunge! One afternoon a lady said, “Stop staring at it and try it! You wana try?” I was like, “Ummm, Yes!” So I did and it was bad-ass! What was so cool is that after one hit I found myself without a cigarette for almost 4 hours without freaking out!!! THAT NEVER HAPPENED! I literally forgot all about them!

That is when I decided to do a full scale investigation about the e-cig.

Turns out that the e-cig rocks! What I discovered was that the propylene glycol is an organic compound with the chemical formula C₃H₈O₂. It is a viscous colorless liquid which is nearly odorless but possesses a faintly sweet taste which was mixed with any flavor of the persons choosing. I chose Cinnamon. Buying the cartridges wasn’t the way I purchased it (that is a rip off!). Also, propylene glycol is used in many of our products such as soap, shampoo and even tooth paste. So, what true harm is there, if any! (that was my thought!)

In Austin, there is a completely different crowd of folks and how things are done. I visited a few shops and researched online about it. Everything was positive, except a few nay-sayers who thought that smoking all together was the worst thing ever, so listening or reviewing their words didn’t affect me at all. Each person could make their regimen work for them, individually. For me, that was imperative because I know how I am. Each location was different so I depended on reputation, in the beginning. Then I researched how the e-liquid was sold. The highest amount is 36mg and the lowest amount is 0mg, the mg is the nicotine strength per bottle. Each bottle can be from 5ml of liquid to 100ml of liquid. The mixture is propylene glycol-nicotine (mix)/ flavor of choice. After raving reviews and seeing that my co-workers were successful in quitting for themselves, I went the following paycheck and bought my first kit. Since I smoked about 2 packs a day of Marlboro Red, I started with 24mg and my bottles were 30ml every 3 weeks.

Then I created for myself a program / regimen and time limit. I knew how long I’d been smoking and that my habit was extreme. A cigarette was the answer to “my” everything. And I knew that only a few months wasn’t going to be good enough. Every 6 to 8 weeks I would go lower in the nicotine level, plus strengthen the flavor. Finally, in December of 2013, I was at the 0mg level of nicotine but I wasn’t mentally ready, so I went back up to 6mg and remained there until I quit. When I hit the one year mark; that is when I said, “Ok, I must have an exact quit date.” So I chose March 31, 2014. And with every hit, every day, I’d say, “Ok, that’s it. Ok, that’s IT!, OK, THAT’S IT!” When the bottle finished, that was it.

Successfully after 1 year and 2 weeks, I was off nicotine completely!! After starting the e-cig I only took 6 drags off of a cigarette in June of 2013. I didn’t even hold it, I had my old friend hold it because I really hate cigarettes.

I quit smoking cigarettes March 18, 2013 and quit the e-cig March 31, 2014. Now my life is financially free from giving my money away to Marlboro. And I talk now, which pisses some folks off, but I don’t care. My health is better, my mind clear and everything is way better, actually quite awesome. I do my best to tell folks but they don’t want to listen. I even have a food regimen that works perfectly so a person won’t gain weight and is able to come through it with flying colors of joy. However, I decided that if someone wants to know, they will ask.

I started in 1979 and quit in 2014. Life is good and Marlboro doesn’t get my money anymore!

Yeah! I still don’t smoke, nor will I ever re-start! You can quit too ya know! Just do it! 

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