On The Coast Families / February March 2022 by On the Coast Publications ~ Families & Over 55

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#116 FEBRUARY/MARCH 2022

FAMILIES

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Maz & Lakey HIT FM 101.3

New Breakfast Radio Hosts

Dietitian’s Six Top Tips to packing a

healthier lunch box Self Harming & Young People – A PARENT’S GUIDE

CENTRAL COAST’S FAVOURITE FAMILY MAGAZINE

ON T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

Welcome

Inside 4

Exclusive Interview – Maz & Lakey HIT 101.3 FM

It’s time to feel Fabulous’

Wow 2021! What a year. An eclectic mix of high points, challenges, new beginnings and everything in between. Our eldest started kindergarten, our youngest started preschool, we enjoyed our first family holiday and all before being locked down for four months. We took on a new business, home schooling and managing everyone being at home... ALL THE TIME! And whilst each moment had a set of challenges of its own, I am extremely grateful for it all. Now I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, I gave them away years ago, but I do like to sit and reflect on the year that was and in doing so, set an intention for the year ahead. To sum it up in one word, for me, 2022 is to be energetic!

12 Dietitian’s Six Top Tips to packing a healthier lunch box

So as we settle into the beginning of a new year, whether you are facing big changes or flowing on from 2021, we wish you a year full of joy, laughter, love and smiles. “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ~ Neale Donald Walsch Do 2022 your own way! All the best Coasties!

Tanzie & Luke

14 A time of change 18 PMS – The uninvited monthly guest

Art Director/Editor Tanzie Carpenter tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au Production Luke Carpenter luke@onthecoastpublications.com.au Publisher Tanzie Carpenter / 0414 611 851 Luke Carpenter / 0405 449 339 trading as On the Coast Publications ABN 52 212 212 482 PO Box 3251, Bateau Bay NSW 2261 For article contribution enquiries tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au

Printing Spotpress Pty Ltd / 02 9549 1111 Cover image Cloud Nine Photography cloudninephotography.net.au

22 Soften your expectations in motherhood

24 Self harming & young people – A parent’s guide

Imagery ingimage.com and freepik.com Contributors Jordi Woods, Sam Woods, Lauren Bale, Gina Stear, Laura Kiln, Diana Arundell, Alita Blanchard, Alexandra Wilson, Clare Marcangelo, Sarah Tolmie onthecoastpublications.com.au

26 How can nutrition impact my child’s ADHD?

30 Matters of Life & Love proudly supported by

Warranty & Indemnity

Advertisers and/or advertising agencies upon and by lodging material with the Publisher for publication or authorising or approving of the publication of any material INDEMNIFY the Publisher, its servants and agents against all liability claims or proceedings whatsoever arising from the publication and without limiting the generality of the fore–going to indemnify each of them in relation to defamation, slander of title, breach of copyright, infringement of trademarks or names of publication titles, unfair competition or trade practices, royalties or violation of rights or privacy AND WARRANT that the material compiles with all relevant laws and regulations and that its publication will not give rise to any rights against or liabilities in the Publisher, its servants or agents and in particular that nothing therein is capable of being misleading or deceptive or otherwise in breach of Part V of the Trade Practices Act 1974. The views expressed in On the Coast – Families are not necessarily those of the editor or publishing staff. While every effort has been made to insure accuracy of the information in this publication, no responsibility will be accepted by On the Coast – Families. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission of the publisher.

Check out past articles at onthecoastfamilies.com.au @onthecoastfamilies FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

Get up with Maz & Lakey across NSW for Breakfast. The show brings all of NSW the latest community, entertainment, and national and global news while keeping locals feeling great. Join Maz and Lakey’s antics for the ultimate must listen breakfast show. Full of laughs, real talk and a passion for everything across NSW, start your day with Maz & Lakey from 6–9am weekdays.

MAZ – Lakey reminds me of Rosso back when Merrick & Rosso were on Nova. I was the Assistant Producer on their show for a little while before my debut on MTV. Lakey has a similar tone; fun and engaging and at any given moment could go rogue!

We are lucky enough Lakey to have you back on our shores after some unplanned delays. How have the nerves been for both of you, anticipating your first show going to air? MAZ – There is always a tiny bit of nervousness when launching a new show, but it’s more a feeling of excitement than anything else. Like first date nerves. This show has a sparkle to it that I am really pumped about exploring and sharing with our audience.

Maz, this is your third Dan to co–host with, are there any similarities between the three Dan’s? Each co–host I have worked with have these three things in common: their first name is Dan, they are male, they work in radio! That’s it! Three people, three completely different personalities, life stories and vibes. I feel very blessed to have worked with good humans for my on–air life and very happy that is continuing into 2022.

LAKEY – Haha. I think doing a few “Iso–Podcasts” as a soft launch to the show has helped take a lot of nerves away. Pre–recorded audio is nothing compared to the live stuff. So yeah, it’s been a bit of a blessing in disguise being stuck overseas. You haven’t worked together before though you seem to have a great connection. Do either of you remind each other of someone else you know?

O N T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

LAKEY – For some reason I keep thinking Maz is Ash London. Then I remember she’s not Ash London. Not that there’s anything wrong with Ash London. It’s just bizarre that I confuse myself and think she’s Ash London. But sometimes I forget to spit out my toothpaste and just end up swallowing it instead so it’s pretty normal for me to forget things like that.

“

I was so happy because there wasn’t a back–up plan if Lakey said no Maz, Lakey’s sense of humour seems quite different to Gawndy’s, how are you adjusting to the contrast?

As long as I’m laughing my ass off, or cracking someone up, then my morning is made! I have always thought if I am finding something fun to listen to or funny then someone else is too, and that’s the magic of radio and how it connects us. Lakey, you are swapping late nights for early mornings, are you naturally a night owl? Do you have any measures in place to help you adjust to the early starts? I’m pretty good at adjusting to whatever hours I need to be awake. I’m definitely looking forward to having my 5pm’s back. I’ve got two phones, one that charges by my bed and then another one that goes off three minutes later by the door. That way I have to get up to turn it off. GENIUS!!! What was each of your initial thoughts when you found out you’d be working together? MAZ – I was so happy because there wasn’t a back–up plan if Lakey said no! LAKEY – Maz probably doesn’t know this, but before I ever really got into radio I would listen to Maz’s old drive show on the way home from Uni. So, I did think it was pretty cool to be working with her all these years later. She’ll probably feel a little old once she reads this haha! Lakey, you’ve been working on your own show for the past few years. How are you going to go working with a co–host? You learn a lot doing a solo show but to be honest I was getting pretty over it. Especially with Covid it got a little lonely and boring. I realised that radio had lost a bit of its fun and that half the

HIT FM 101.3 to nail every single talk break was (and still is) amazing.

joy is working with other people and collaborating with each other’s ideas. There’s a whole team behind the scenes with Maz and I too, so I’m really looking forward to having that team environment again. What are your interests outside of the studio? Would you naturally be drawn to each other as friends? MAZ – Funnily enough, the more I find out about Lakey, the more I think we might be kindred spirits! I love traveling, snowboarding, I am into health and wellness, I have been sober for seven years and I love radio and listening to Adele, we have all that in common. LAKEY – I think Maz is a real family gal now, plus she’s living a Mum life!!! I only really see children when I have to go to a shopping mall or catch public transport… but outside of that I think we’re both pretty easy going. So yeah sure, easy going people usually get along with easy going people. I’m still going to approach our friendship with caution though until I know Maz has a whole list of baby sitters she can call upon before me. Lakey, you’ve commented that is takes about 3 months to settle into a new hosting role. After doing your podcasts with Maz this week while you’ve been in isolation, are you still feeling like it’s going to take that long? Haha maybe not three months but I do think these on–air arrangements have plenty of potential to grow. We really haven’t scratched the surface yet and that’s more of what I meant. It’s good this week, it’ll be great in three months and hopefully it can be legendary in three years.

Lakey, what are you most looking forward to about living on the Central Coast? All the exciting unknowns that come with a fresh start in a brand–new place. Potentially buying a house, potentially making new friends, potentially falling in love. All of that whilst also knowing that nothing in life is guaranteed and I could easily be shown the door one day with a big pile of mortgage debt, have no friends and just be left stroking a cat. But the beaches and the laid back lifestyle should be pretty cool too. You are blessed to be working together now but if you could pick one person in the world to co–host with, who would it be and why? MAZ – If it were totally up to me, I’d do a solo show, The Maz Compton Mega Show and make it all about me. LAKEY – Hashtag BLESSED!!! Howard Stern would be pretty cool. You both have had a stellar hosting career. What made you both want to get into radio? MAZ – I got into radio on the ground level, answering phones in the studio on a Saturday night for free and then driving the Street Team cars at Nova when it first launched in Sydney. There is a certain magic in radio that you can’t get anywhere else, and I guess I fell for its spell and haven’t looked back. LAKEY – I remember being a teenager obsessed with listening to the people on the radio talk. I would just switch over whenever a song was played so I could listen to more talking. If you’re more interested in listening to some bloke giveaway $1000 with the secret sound rather than listen to a whole Madonna song, it’s probably a good sign that you should give it a crack as a career. Who did you both idolise and listen to on the radio growing up? MAZ –I grew up listening to Wendy and Mooney on 2Day FM. Wendy Harmer is the best and funniest female voice, at the time I didn’t realise it, but I can absolutely say now, she inspired me in some way to chase my radio dream. LAKEY – Hamish and Andy were the big ones for me. The creativity and seeming

Fitness seems to be priority for you both. What is one piece of health advice you would each give to someone starting out on their fitness journey? MAZ – Don’t follow the health advice in health magazines! The best advice I can offer is to find what you love and just do that. I am right into yoga at the moment, which is a big change from doing high intensity workouts. Yoga is just suiting my stress levels better. I walk heaps, I walk wherever I can and get into nature as much as possible with my little one. LAKEY – Eat a consistent meal schedule. That way it’s super easy to tweak things to suit your goals. If your diet is all over the shop then it’s very hard to make any progress. Maz, you’ve previously referenced yourself as being a ‘manifesting machine’, how does Lakey compare to what you’d manifest in a co–host? When I knew I needed a new co–host for 2022, I cut out pictures of Lakey from his Triple M show and stuck them all over my vision board!! Honestly, I knew I wanted to work with someone who was up for a crazy radio adventure, who was keen to create something special and new and would genuinely make me laugh/think I’m hilarious. I think I hit the jackpot with Lakey. It’s the beginning of a new year and you are embarking on a new adventure. If you could sum up your intention for 2022 into one word, what would it be? MAZ – KIITD (Kick It In The D) LAKEY – FUN! How cheesey. But I really do “just wanna have fun”. (Cindi Lauper, 1983)

FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

VIBRANT CONCEPTS

It’s time to feel

Fabulous

BY SAM & JORDI WOODS

If 2021 taught us anything, it’s that we don’t know what is around the corner… For myself, and many others it also taught us the art of slowing down, re–connecting with ourselves and putting our mind, body, spirit and health as a priority. As we are already into 2022 don’t try to make up for lost time or put pressure on yourself to get back to your pre–Covid weight, style and mindset. Accept where you are and read on for ways to feel fabulous as we embark on the rest of the year. During lock down there were things we all loved and loathed. I want you to write a list of all the things you loved during this time. What is there on this list that you have forgotten to do and/or put on the back burner since ‘getting back to your old life’? A few common ones are: Exercising / daily walks Taking time to indulge in a bath Sitting around the table with family for dinner Regular phone calls to friends DIY mani/pedi. I encourage you to set yourself the goal of doing ONE of the things on your list each week! Slowly allow time for

of colourful earrings with your maxi dress or a pair of blingy sandals with your shorts and linen shirt. Re–introduce or get creative with colour! Colour has the power to lift our mood, so if you want to feel fabulous invest in colours that energise you and are perfect for your colour palette and personality.

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yourself and welcome all the things that bring you joy. When it comes to dressing, a really common concern we have heard amongst clients post lock down is the fear of dressing up again. For so many months we sported trackies, gym wear and pyjamas and now when it comes to going out; wearing a pair of sandals and statement earrings can feel over the top. As Sam always says “You can never be overdressed, only inappropriately dressed”. 3 THINGS TO TRY #DressUpItFeelsGood and embrace all the beautiful pieces in your wardrobe that may have been neglected the last few years. When you go and get your groceries do not be afraid to put on a pair

You can never be overdressed, only inappropriately dressed Accept that things are different and that is okay! You do not need to be who you were in 2021 nor do you need to do what you did in 2021. Embrace the fact that 2022 is a new year, but also ensure you don’t put pressure on yourself to achieve everything, make up for lost time and be ‘perfect’. As we continue into 2022, I want you to remember, “start where you are, use what you have, do what you can” [Arthur Ashe] and work up the confidence to become who you want to be. Vibrantly yours, Sam & Jordi Woods x

Understanding styling and fashion is one thing. Having a super–natural flair for making everyday people look incredible is another. Once you’ve met Sam & Jordi Woods, it’s hard not to catch their infectious passion for dressing to match your own lifestyle, personality and charisma. Through their consultancy ‘Vibrant Concepts’, Sam & Jordi have transformed the lives of thousands. Let Sam & Jordi show you how to look and feel fabulous everyday at their Style Studio in Erina – learn the art of illusion dressing, colour matching, styling, translating fashion trends and savvy shopping with their unique VC Signature Styling Systems and services that are truly personal and really work! To contact Vibrant Concepts phone 0425 221 676.

O N T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

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4384 9000 FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

Beach wheelchairs and matting creates inclusive fun in the sun this Summer

o improve access and inclusion for people with limited mobility or living with a disability, Council provides beach wheelchairs at 13 beaches and has installed beach matting at four popular locations this Summer season. Council Administrator, Rik Hart said it’s important to ensure that everyone in our community and visitors can participate in all aspects of community life. “With an abundance of beautiful beaches on the Coast, heading to the beach is a major part of our community’s lifestyle and these natural assets attract hundreds of tourists to our region each year,” Mr Hart said. “Providing beach wheelchairs and beach matting improves access and inclusion and ensures everyone can join in and enjoy our coastline. “Council is committed to the continual improvement of access for people with disabilities, and this is one example of delivering on this goal and implementing actions from our Disability and Inclusion Action Plan (DIAP*).” Beach wheelchairs Council has a suite of beach

wheelchairs available for free hire for residents and visitors at the following patrolled beaches: Avoca Beach, Copacabana Beach, Killcare Beach, Lakes Beach, Macmasters Beach, Ocean Beach (Umina), Shelly Beach, Soldiers Beach, Terrigal Beach, The Entrance, Toowoon Bay, Umina Beach and Wamberal Beach To accommodate varied needs, there are three models of beach wheelchairs including the Sand Cruiser (available at all above locations), plus the Hippocampe and Water Wheel (at selected suitable locations). While beach wheelchair hire can be arranged on site through the lifeguards at individual Surf Life Saving Clubs, online bookings are highly encouraged to ensure the preferred model of beach wheelchair is available. This is also the best way to arrange relocation of beach wheelchairs for individual or group bookings in advance.

Beach matting Following a successful trial last summer beach matting has been installed at Toowoon Bay, Umina Beach, Ocean Beach and Terrigal Beach this season to improve access for people who are less mobile and living with a disability. These beaches have been chosen because erosion is low to moderate and they are relatively flat. The bright, blue matting is rolled out and secured over the sand and usable by all beach goers providing a stable, non–slip, cool surface particularly for people who may use wheelchairs, mobility aids, or prams to have easier access across the sand. To book a beach wheelchair online or for more information go to Council’s website centralcoast.nsw.gov.au and search ‘beach accessibility’.

*The Disability and Inclusion Action Plan is a four–year plan consisting of strategies and actions to develop positive community attitudes and behaviours, create liveable communities, support access to meaningful employment, and improve access to services through better systems and processes for people living with a disability. A key part of the DIAP is improving access to and enjoyment of public spaces and places, including the Coast’s beaches. The latest Central Coast Disability Inclusion Action Plan 2021–2025 and Easy English version are available on the Central Coast website under ‘Strategies and Plans at www.centralcoast.nsw.gov.au.

ON T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

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FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

Where there’s a will there’s a way… to support your Westpac Rescue Helicopter

ver 70 solicitors across Northern NSW are donating 100% of their time and support to the Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service’s annual ‘Wills Week’ initiative taking place from 28 March to 1 April. During Wills Week, the public can book an appointment to see a solicitor to receive advice about having a simple* Will drafted or update an existing one. Booking fees of $125 for individuals (1/2 hour appointment) or $225 for couples (1 hour appointment), are donated in full to the Service, with people getting the benefit of a professionally drafted Will at a greatly reduced price, while also helping the Rescue Helicopter save lives in their local community. Having an up to date Will is important, with Wills Week helping people to prepare a Will while also having the option to consider the gift of a bequest. For charities such as the Rescue Helicopter Service, receiving the support of a bequest is not taken lightly, as the Service understands the importance

of the decision that has been made by the donor. The Service sees the gift of a bequest as an incredible act of generosity and a lasting legacy that gives back to our community. So for many people, once they have provided for their loved ones, they are also choosing to leave a gift in their Will. The gift of a bequest, large or small, can help make a difference and importantly, all support stays locally and directly supports the donor’s local base in either Newcastle, Tamworth or Lismore. Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service CEO, Richard Jones OAM said Wills Week is a convenient and personally rewarding opportunity to have an up to date Will prepared and also support the Service. “Wills Week is not only a great opportunity to ensure that you have a current Will but it also helps to raise vital funds for the Rescue Helicopter. We sincerely appreciate everyone’s support and a special thank you to our participating solicitors and to those who

WILLS WEEK 28TH MARCH TO 1ST APRIL 2022 Bookings now open until 25th February and can be made via the contact details shown below 1800 155 155 | rescuehelicopter.com.au/willsweek

O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

are looking to leave the gift of a bequest to help our Service to continue saving lives across Northern NSW,” Jones said. “A bequest is a deeply personal decision and we are always truly humbled when we receive a gift of this type. The impact that a bequest can make, no matter how small or large, is profound as it directly supports our aircraft and crews to assist and be there for others in their time of desperate need,” Jones concluded. Online bookings are now open and close on 25th February. To find out more or to make an appointment online visit rescuehelicopter.com.au/willsweek or call 1800 155 155. FURTHER INFORMATION Zeke Huish, Major Gifts and Donors Manager, Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service – Ph 0431 266 291 *Booking does not cover the drafting of Power of Attorney documents or complex Wills.

Wills Week is a great opportunity to have a professional solicitor in your local area provide advice to establish your first Will or update an existing one. Wills Week is made possible thanks to the generous support of solicitors who donate their time to ensure that 100% of your booking fee is donated to the Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service. Booking fee - $125 for a single person (1/2 hour) - $225 for a couple making mutual Wills (1 hour) Book now to secure a meeting with a solicitor to receive advice about having a simple* Will drafted. Full details, including *terms and conditions can be viewed at rescuehelicopter.com.au/willsweek. PARTICIPATING SOLICITORS Erina

Ryan & Seton Lawyers Aubrey Brown Solicitors

Gosford

Brazel Moore Lawyers

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New children’s contact service opens in Wyong keeps families connected

fficially opened on 17th December, 2021 by the Hon. David Harris and the Hon. Emma McBride, Hope Family Cottage is a newly established not–for– profit community based organisation which provides Supervised Child Contact and Mediation services to families experiencing breakdown. Mr David Harris described Hope Family Cottage as “a much needed service in the local community” and described it as a “brilliant new organisation”. Founder and CEO, Lisa Joye, became aware of the need to provide a ‘home like’ environment where children could have supervised contact with their mum and/ or dad when they no longer live together after working at the Department of Communities and Justice as a Child Protection Case Worker. She often provided supervised contact for children in sterile office settings, all too often on hard floors with no toys or activities to play with and nowhere to warm up a bottle or for babies to have ‘tummy time’.

Change–overs of care between parents often took place at fast food outlets, in carparks or at local police stations. Lisa felt that none of this was fair for children or their parents and decided more needed to done. Lisa has established Hope Family Cottage in Wyong, which is a beautiful old cottage close to public transport and various other community services. Fully equipped with games, toys, crafts, activities and plenty of other resources, families can now enjoy quality time together in a home–like environment when they no longer live together. Ms Emma McBride thanked Lisa for bringing this “wonderful service” to the

community. Hope Family Cottage also provides affordable and accessible Family Dispute Resolution which helps parents reach agreement regarding the future care and living arrangements for their children whilst also avoiding the unnecessary stress and cost of going to Court. Hope Family Cottage is a non– government organization which is affiliated with the Australian Children’s Contact Service Association and adheres to the National Child Safe Standards. Hope Family Cottage is proudly Auspiced by the Iris Foundation – building resilience through connection.

FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

Dietitian’s SIX TOP TIPS to packing a

r e i h t l a he x o b h c n u l W BY LAUREN BALE & GINA STEAR

ith the new school year well and truly underway, now is the perfect time to think about what you are fuelling your children’s minds and bodies with to tackle their busy school schedules. Children eat 30% of their food while at school so ensuring they enjoy healthy food choices

in their lunch boxes is important not only for their learning but also for their growth, development and overall health and wellbeing. Packed lunches don’t have to be boring. With a little thought and imagination, they can be fun, healthy and tasty too.

Aim to include something from all 5 food groups Stick to the basics when it comes to deciding what to include in your child’s lunch box. As a rule of thumb, including something from each of the 5 food groups with a drink is a great place to start.

FOOD GROUP

WHY IT’S IMPORTANT

LUNCH BOX FRIENDLY OPTIONS

GRAINY FOODS E.g. Grainy breads, grains, cereals and starchy vegetables

These foods contain carbohydrates that kids use for energy to fuel body movement and brain power. They are also an important source of fibre, necessary for a healthy gut

Wholemeal, wholegrain, sourdough bread, rolls, bagels, pita pockets, wraps and crackers Fruit bread or muffins Basmati or brown rice or fried rice Rice cakes and corn thins Pasta and noodles Roast pumpkin, potato or sweet potato Quinoa and Couscous Nut free Muesli bars

MEATS & ALTERNATIVES Lean meat, fish, poultry, eggs, nuts and legumes

Protein-rich foods important for building strong muscles, bones and teeth

Leftover meat, chicken or fish, roasted chicken or turkey slices, pulled beef or pork Tinned tuna or salmon Hard boiled eggs, Frittata, Hummus Baked beans, chickpeas, kidney beans Veggie burgers and falafel balls Tofu cubes Roasted or baked legume snacks (sugarsnap peas, fava beans & chickpeas)

DAIRY & ALTERNATIVES Milk, yoghurt, cheese and/or calcium containing plant-based alternatives

Protein-rich foods important for building strong muscles, bones and teeth

Drinking yoghurt or yoghurt pot Cheese slices, cubes, sticks Cottage cheese Calcium fortified soya, milk and yoghurt or other plant-based alternatives custard Tetrapack of milk (plain or flavoured)

FRUIT

Rich in vitamins, minerals and fibre, important for glowing skin and hair, eye health, gut health and a strong immune system.

Seasonal fresh fruit – whole or cut into shapes Fruit salad or Fruit puree Dried fruit (sultanas, mango, apricot, apple)

VEGETABLES

Rich in vitamins, minerals and fibre, important for glowing skin and hair, eye health, gut health and a strong immune system.

Raw vegetables (cubes, coins or sticks) Cherry tomatoes Celery, capsicum, cucumber or carrot sticks Corn cob and baby corn spears Popcorn Green beans, snow peas and sugar snap peas Mixed lettuce Leftover cooked vegetables Lentils, chickpeas and kidney beans

ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

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An over packed lunchbox can be overwhelming for younger children or those with a smaller appetite Keeping well hydrated is as important as being well nourished. Don’t forget to pack water in a reusable bottle so they can fill it up throughout the day. There’s no need for sweetened drinks such as juice, cordial or soft drink. These tend to contain too much sugar which isn’t good for growing teeth. In summer, it might be helpful to fill a quarter of the bottle with water and freezing overnight. Top up with cold water in the morning to ensure a cool drink for most of the day as well as doubling up as an ice pack for the lunch box.

2 Try not to over pack While it can be tempting to provide a big range of snacks, fruit, drinks, sandwiches and anything else we can think of into a lunch box (our kids have a long day to get through after all!), sometimes the key is to pack less. An Australian study found that on average children are only eating about 68% of lunch box content, with the lowest consumption rate being for vegetables. An over packed lunch box can be overwhelming for younger children or those with a smaller appetite. When choosing what to put in your child’s lunch box, try to think practically about the day ahead. What breaks do they have? Will food be provided at any point? (e.g. at after school care.) Aim to put in just the right amount of food rather than aiming for abundance. Plan a serve of fruit for fruit break, one or two snacks for recess, and something filling for lunch, such as a whole grain sandwich, sushi rolls, leftovers from dinner or mini veggie frittatas. Extras such as an after school snack may be necessary for some children, especially if they head straight from school to other afternoon activities such as sports training. 3 Take time to prepare Meal prep is a great way to stay on track with making healthy food choices, despite busy schedules. Making school lunches a part of your meal plan will help you save time and keep you organised.

Choose a day that you are less busy to wash and chop fruits and vegetables, and prepare batches of healthy proteins like chicken, eggs, and beans. If you don’t have time for this, don’t feel guilty about purchasing pre–chopped and washed fruit and vegetables, pre–cooked chicken, or canned tuna and beans, these are all great options! Here are a few simple ways to give leftovers from dinner new life in the lunch box: Rice and BBQ chicken can be used to make fried rice with mixed frozen vegetables Pasta can be mixed with tuna, peas, corn and carrots to make a pasta salad Couscous or quinoa with roast vegetables and edamame beans.

4 Get the kids involved Get your kids involved in planning and helping to pack their lunches for school. Research shows that parents’ involvement of their children in meal planning and preparation is positively related to healthy eating behaviours, increased energy and vegetable intake. So, kids are more likely to enjoy their lunch box food if they are involved in putting it together. Try some of these simple ways to make them part of the fun: Set some boundaries – set healthy lunch box rules that include choosing a food from each food group Select easy lunch box recipes to cook up on weekends together e.g. banana bread or muffins using ripening bananas. These can be frozen and taken out in the morning before

school Share simple tasks such as cracking eggs, stirring and measuring ingredients Kids love being hands on and visual so think about incorporating variety in taste, shape and colour as you mix ‘n match different options from the different groups together. Cookie cutter shapes are great for making fruit and sandwiches more interesting. Get your child to fill the drink bottle with water and freeze or refrigerate Your children can help choose the fruit and vegetables when shopping.

5 Trial new foods at home first If you are tired of putting the same old snacks or sandwiches in your child’s lunch box again and again, this could be for you. Children, especially those who have fussier tastes, can feel uncertain or anxious about new or different foods in their lunch box. So, aim to introduce your child to new snacks, sandwich fillings or other options at home first. Once you know your child is comfortable with a new option, they will be much more likely to confidently accept this new food in their lunch box at school. 6 Just make small changes Research from the University of Newcastle has found that small but sustainable changes are effective in helping improve our children’s health over time. So, if you feel that the lunch boxes packed in your home need an overhaul, the trick may actually be in just making small changes, one at a time.

Lauren Bale and Gina Stear are passionate Paediatric Dietitians at Eatsense, one of the Central Coast’s leading nutrition practices. To book an appointment with an Eatsense dietitian call 4311 3623 or visit eatsense.com.au. FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

change

A time of BY LAURA KILN

When children start school, they have a lot to get used to. They will be in a new setting, with more children and new rules and routines. Some children will manage this easily while others may need more help from parents and teachers. Building confidence There are things parents can do to help children feel confident and optimistic about starting school. If you were able to attend the Transition to School programme, remind your child what they enjoyed on those visits. I understand, due to Covid some schools didn’t get the chance for these. If so, check out information they may have sent you or look on their website for extra information. Parents can also help children to build confidence and optimism by encouraging a habit of positive thinking. Asking children to tell you about the good things that happen each day helps develop this healthy habit. Getting ready Involve your child in preparing for school, e.g. shopping for their uniform, school bag and lunch box. Make sure they can manage their lunch box and school bag, teachers can’t open

ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

everyone’s lunch box, cut up apples, open yogurt pots etc, etc x 20 children! Plan for healthy lunches, snacks, and water to drink, there are lots of ideas on the internet of healthy lunch box ideas. Help your child master putting their shoes on themselves, and to use the toilet on their own. At least 2 weeks before school starts, establish the bedtime and morning routine that they have when they start school. Start moving their bedtime earlier if, they have been late to bed over the holidays. Working with your school It is important for parents and teachers to work together and communicate well. I firmly believe that successful education is the partnership between School and home. It can help if you: Read all the school notices and reply as soon as possible, check that school bag! Get involved in school activities Let the teacher know if there is something happening at home that may be affecting your child, or if they have health issues. However, it’s not a good idea to just think you can talk to the teacher at the end of the day. You need to make an appointment as teachers have bus duties, late room duties, and their own children to pick up from school.

Remember, if you are worried, give the teacher some notice and ask to see him or her. They will welcome the chance to chat, but like all of us, like to be prepared.

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Asking children to tell you about the good things that happen each day helps develop this healthy habit. Children do best at school when their parents and teachers work together to support them. The first few weeks They may be tired at the end of the day. Don’t plan too many after–school activities; make sure they have time to rest and for free play. They may be ‘starving’ after school. Take a healthy snack when you pick them up. Try giving them an early dinner as they may be too tired to eat later They may want to tell you all about their day as soon as they see you. Be available to listen. Some children may want to relax first. Encourage them to talk about good things that happen at school Make reading with them part of your daily routine. Bedtime stories are a great way to end the day. Some children wet their underwear in the early days of school, maybe

LAURA’S PLACE

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If you show you are anxious or worried about the start of school, your child will pick up those vibes! forgetting to use the toilet in break time. Pack spare underwear in the bottom of their bag, making sure your child knows it is there, and a plastic bag for the wet underwear. If your child is stressed Children can show stress by being tearful, not wanting to go to school, having tummy aches or headaches.

Help by encouraging them to talk about what’s worrying them, letting them know that you are confident they can manage. Asking what they think would help them. If you show you are anxious, worried, about the start of School, you child will pick up those vibes!

If you are concerned about your child starting school, call Laura’s Place 02 4385 5587 to make an appointment. Laura’s Place – 449 Tumbi Rd, Wamberal NSW 2260 www.laurasplace.com.au

Laura Kiln PgDip (CBT) Child and Adolescence, Bsc (Hons), CMHN In 2006 Laura Kiln moved to the Central Coast from the UK where she worked in London at the Institute of Psychiatry and the National Specialist Center for Child and Adolescent Mental Health. Laura has thirty years of experience working with children, adolescents and their families and is recognised internationally as an expert in the field of parenting. Having four children herself, she understands the demands and dramas of raising a family! Laura established Laura’s Place to help parents and children. She uses a variety of techniques, including behavioural therapy, workshops, groups and individual sessions, in a comfortable, relaxed environment where kids and/or their parents can discuss problems away from the stigma that can be attached to seeking help. Laura has a passionate belief that children’s difficult behaviour can be managed best by their parents, empowered by using specialist strategies. Laura believes that all children’s behaviour is like a language – they are trying to tell us “something”. For more information or to make an appointment, call Laura’s Place 02 4385 5587 www.laurasplace.com.au

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FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

PMS Hormones play an important part in our body’s orchestra of health and wellbeing. They are important in their role in the growth and reproductive systems in both men and women but also impact many other systems of the body. Hormonal imbalance can show up as mood disorders including anxiety and depression, as well as sleep disturbance, fatigue and digestive disturbance, with symptoms ranging from mild to debilitating. Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) refers to signs and symptoms experienced leading up to and during menstruation. 75% of women experience PMS to a greater or lesser degree and it appears rather than there being just one simple cause, there are a number of contributing factors to PMS including diet, lifestyle

THE UNINVI T ED MON TH LY GUES T BY DIANA ARUNDELL UNIVERSITY QUALIFIED NATUROPATH

and an imbalanced rising and falling of hormones such as oestrogen and progesterone. PMS is common but does not need to be inevitable. The menstrual cycle can provide a lot of information about a woman and her health. The monthly period (or absence of it) and the presence of PMS can be considered a ‘report card’ for the month on how health, wellbeing and hormones have been travelling. The more common symptoms and signs of PMS include breast tenderness, bloating, mood swings (irritable, anxious, depressed) sleep disturbance, acne, headaches and food cravings. For some women these are noticeably mild and may last 24–48 hours, whereas for others these signs and symptoms may be so pronounced that they can hardly recognise themselves amidst it and symptoms may stretch out to 2 weeks before the period comes. It’s really important to track your menstrual cycle each month so it’s evident if the

symptoms are cyclic and therefore more likely to be related to the menstrual cycle, or if there is no obvious repetitive pattern, then other causes need to be investigated. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PDD) is severe premenstrual mood disturbance of depression and/or anxiety. A woman’s menstrual cycle through each month can almost feel like passing through the 4 seasons. The monthly period and few days before feels more like winter when we tend to be a little quieter and homely. The energy improves as spring comes during which we move to the end of our period and transition into summer around ovulation. Things begin to wind down again through the autumn part of our cycle leading up to our winter period time again. It is natural to experience different levels of energy throughout the seasons of the menstrual cycle and unrealistic to expect ourselves to be bouncing out of our skin with energy 24/7 all month.

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O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

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Understanding hormones and their intricate balance can be a complicated journey Things that may contribute to PMS include: Unresolved stress – physical, mental or emotional (stress hormones and reproductive hormones are intricately related) Weight loss or weight gain Low iron status (can be both a sign and a cause of an excessively heavy period and period pain too) Smoking (smokers are twice as likely to experience PMS) Insufficient intake of dietary protein and vegetables (especially cruciferous family such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, brussels as these support healthy oestrogen metabolism) Too high intake of stimulants such as caffeine, sugar and alcohol may exacerbate PMS especially if consumed 2 weeks prior to menstruation Too much or too little exercise Hormone imbalance – the rise and fall of oestrogen and progesterone need to be in balance. The coming and going of oestrogen through the cycle is necessary for ovulation and simulating other hormones required for a functional cycle. We need some oestrogen as it helps us feel good, but not too much as it then becomes too stimulating and can contribute to many of the PMS symptoms. Lara Briden describes oestrogen as “that interesting and charismatic friend who’s great to have around but can be become a bit overwhelming if she stays too long”. The drop in oestrogen towards the end of the cycle can contribute to moodiness as it contributes to a drop in serotonin and dopamine too which are ‘feel good’ neurotransmitters.

The ability to produce sufficient progesterone is important as it helps shelter from dramatic changes due to the rising and falling of oestrogen. It is also relaxes the nervous system by enhancing the production of the calming neurotransmitter GABA. If changes in diet and lifestyle don’t reduce PMS signs and symptoms after three cycles then herbal medicine and supplements may be beneficial to support and nudge the body back into balance. Professionally prescribed supplements are more likely to have a positive impact than over the counter options as they will be specifically tailored to the individual, including therapeutic doses and correct timing of dosage. Nutrients that may help ease PMS include: Magnesium, B6 (pyridoxine), Iron, Zinc and the herb Vitex agnus castus. The oral contraceptive pill (OCP) is often prescribed to ‘regulate your cycle’ or ‘balance your hormones’. Although the OCP is good for birth control, it actually does not regulate ‘your cycle’ or balance ‘your hormones’. It takes over your hormones and runs the show. The ‘regular’ period you appear to have each month is not ‘your period’, it’s more accurately a withdrawal bleed from the hormones that have been delivered to the body via the OCP during the month. Most likely when the OCP is stopped, the body will revert to it’s natural hormone state prior to the use of the OCP. With regards to giving short term symptomatic relief for PMS, some women find it helps and others find it exacerbates the signs and symptoms. In any case it doesn’t address the underlying cause. Understanding hormones and their intricate balance can be a complicated journey so it’s always best to work with a health professional to help sift through the confusion. Lara Briden’s book ‘Period Repair Manual’ is an excellent reference book for understanding the menstrual cycle and natural approaches to treatment.

For further information or to make an appointment, contact Diana Arundell – The Avoca Naturopath and Nutritionist on 0410 465 900. Diana Arundell is a university–qualified naturopath and consults from her Avoca Naturopath clinic. She has a special interest in fertility and pregnancy health, digestive health, immune function and family wellness programs. She was a nutrition lecturer at Macquarie University for 10 years, and is an accredited Journey Practitioner. For further information or to make an appointment please contact Diana Arundell at Avoca Naturopath on 0410 465 900.

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DENTAL AT LAKE HAVEN

Orthodontics If you’ve grown up with crooked teeth, an overbite or maybe even overcrowding, it’s likely you have considered getting braces to straighten your teeth. Or if you have children, your dentist may have recommended that your child needs braces. What is Orthodontics ? Orthodontics is a dental speciality focussing on correcting teeth and jaw irregularities and improving their function. This can include straightening teeth and correcting misaligned bites through the use of orthodontic appliances and braces. There are several types of treatments available to orthodontic patients. Traditional braces are the most common type of treatment and are capable of performing large tooth movements, making them suitable for most cases.

and kids

Ceramic or clear braces work in the same way as metal braces, only they use clear or tooth–coloured ceramic brackets and wires, making them a subtler option for adults. Clear aligner treatment, such as Invisalign®, uses a series of removable plastic trays to gently move the teeth into a new position. This type of treatment requires diligence on the part of the wearer as they must be worn for at least 22 hours a day to be effective.

So when should my child have Orthodontics ? Parents can take pre–teens to see a dentist trained in orthodontics for an assessment if concerned about crooked teeth or the effects of bad habits such as thumb sucking. Some treatments for your child would start by age 7, so it’s a good idea to have regular check ups as soon as possible to help your child become comfortable with your dentist and their ongoing treatment plan. There is no ideal age to begin orthodontic

treatment for adults, with many now undergoing treatment later in life. How long will treatment take ? This is dependent on the type of treatment you require and the movements your teeth need to complete. While some people can complete a full course of treatment in six months, for most people it usually takes between one and two years. Can I straighten my own teeth ? It is recommended that you only undertake orthodontic treatment under the supervision of a trained dentist who can properly assess your treatment outcomes to ensure it is performed safely.

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Unsupervised treatment that can be bought online can be dangerous, and may result in damage to the teeth, gums or jaw and you cannot determine the outcome of straight teeth. Clear aligners (invisible braces) vs braces As the name suggests, invisible braces, such as Invisalign®, are designed to adjust your teeth without being seen. They achieve this invisible look with aligner trays made of BPA–free plastic, which sit comfortably over your teeth. A series of plastic aligners are provided to the patient, with each aligner designed to slowly and subtly move your teeth into the correct place. On the ﬂip side, traditional braces are made up of metal brackets that are bonded to your teeth, and then connected by wires and rubber bands. The brackets on the teeth are tightened every four weeks or so to align the teeth. Are clear aligners & traditional braces effective in all cases? Both types of braces are designed to effectively treat your orthodontic problem and ultimately, leave you with straight teeth. However, the severity of your case will ultimately determine which type of braces will be more effective.

For more simple cases, such as crowded teeth, crooked teeth, overbites, underbites, open bites and gapped teeth, both invisible braces and traditional braces can be an effective treatment option. However, with more severe problems such as malocclusions, extremely crooked teeth or cross bites, traditional braces are a more effective choice, as they are designed to provide more specialised alignment and treatment. Using the bonded metal brackets, wires and bands,

traditional braces can adjust the teeth in a way that invisible braces may not. What happens at my first appointment? At your complimentary consultation appointment we will scan your teeth using an iTero scanner and simulator where you can take a sneak peek at what your smile could look like with straighter teeth. We can answer your questions and discuss how long your orthodontic treatment will take and the costs involved.

Contact us today for your complimentary consultation with Dr Jimmy Rao – Dental at Lake Haven & Dental at Kanwal (02) 4393 0020

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www.dentalatlakehaven.com.au FOLLOW US ON @DENTALATLAKEHAVEN FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

d o o h r e h t o m in

Soften your expectations BY ALITA BLANCHARD, PARENT COACH

struggling with your own feelings and are stressed or dysregulated, you may find it hard to listen to their tears. This is very common. This is where I advocate for the importance of having someone to listen to YOUR feelings. We are not meant to do motherhood alone and it’s important to practice speaking your truth to people you feel safe with.

New motherhood comes with many expectations, often unspoken but deeply ingrained. Expectations that you must be a ‘good, happy, calm and present mother’. You will likely have high expectations of yourself, others around you, as well as societal, financial and career expectations. You may naturally also wish to be ‘attached, gentle, peaceful’ in your parenting and many of these qualities are possible (for some) in the baby stage. You may follow social media pages promoting these philosophies and aspire to ‘get it right’. And yet somewhere along the way you will inevitably stumble.

I M FA

I want you to know that that’s ok. You are likely doing your best with the tools and resources available to you. And you may also need to soften your expectations – both on yourself, your baby/children and others. The realities of the newborn stage Your baby will cry. And in that first year, this is their primary way of communicating to you that they have needs. Once those needs are met, and they are still needing to cry, it’s ok to surrender and hold them in your arms and let them cry. This is actually very healing for babies with their own big feelings. Especially if you had a stressed pregnancy, difficult birth or have a highly sensitive baby, they will have a lot of feelings. Crying is healing when lovingly held and listened to. However sometimes, if you are

The realities of toddler life and beyond Life can step up a level in intensity when your baby becomes a moving, walking, often frustrated toddler. Toddlers are meant to test boundaries and have big feelings (often called ‘tantrums’). And yet mothers often feel challenged when their child ‘isn’t listening’ or ‘keeps being naughty’ because their high expectations are not being met. All of your child’s behaviours are likely normal. No child is ‘naughty’ or ‘misbehaved’. All behaviour is a subconscious form of communication. Their behaviour is showing you that they

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There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. Jill Churchill

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O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

have needs, require support, or need to feel listened to. Again, you will need to notice your high expectations and find a way of surrendering to what is. Building your self compassion muscles. And finding additional support, information, listening time or a place to share truthfully with other parents so that you feel less alone in your experience.

You don’t have to ‘break all the cycles’ In the parenting space, there is a lot of focus on being ‘cycle breakers’ and ‘healing yourself’. This is often related to an awareness that many parents carry childhood wounds and conditioning that doesn’t serve our children. Modern mothers are being asked to build awareness, be respectful, gentle and connected unlike the previous generations before. On top of this, there is awareness that many people carry years of generational patterns and trauma. These messages are important and valid and are part of the work parent coaches support their clients to process. However it can feel impossible to do this work in isolation, in one generation, as one person focused on healing all those patterns, wounds and trauma. So again, you must soften your expectations.

Changing these patterns When you notice that you start reverting to some of these old patterns, be gentle on yourself. Change takes time. Slow down Start with awareness Don’t expect big changes overnight It may take years to unpack and change your patterns…that’s ok Soften the shame Reflect on your strengths Build your self compassion muscles Practice self forgiveness Find supportive people to listen to YOUR feelings such as: Therapist/Counsellor, Parent Coach, safe friend, listening partner, mothers circle.

Generational patterns play a role in your parenting The way you were raised will eventually start having an impact on your own parenting journey. These are your generational patterns. We cannot expect to change our generational patterns overnight. You may have been raised in a family that:

Didn’t listen to tears Yelled/screamed Smacked/spanked Neglected you Overworked Ignored Shamed and punished Threatened Had addictions.

Supportive Mantras Try these on for size in hard moments: I am always enough – Good enough is good enough – This is not an emergency – I always have enough time – I’m not meant to do it all – It’s ok to slow down and do less – I’m allowed to say no – I am safe. Soften your expectations Say YES to build awareness, build tools, build support systems, be a change maker, less punishment, more connection, learn to rest, learn self

compassion, build your self worth, YES YES YES! Perfection – impossible, break every cycle – impossible, heal all the wounds – likely impossible, be connected in every moment – impossible, hold space for every feeling – no, attachment play everyday – unlikely, clean home, manicured garden, whole cooked food AND peaceful parent – unlikely! Good enough is good enough. Take that one next right step every day.

Visit www.theawaremama.com.au and sign up to Aware Mama news to a free ebook on Radical Self Care tips. Alita Blanchard, The Aware Mama Based on the NSW Central Coast, Alita is a mother of 4 boys and is a Conscious Parent Coach, Rites of Passage and Women’s Circle facilitator. She provides regular mothers circles, workshops, events, listening time and parent coaching programs. Instagram: @alitablanchard_parentcoach alitablanchard@gmail.com www.theawaremama.com.au

FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

Self harming & young people A PA R E N T ’ S G U I D E BY ALEXANDRA WILSON (AMHSW; CSW; MAASW; BSW USYD)

Deliberate self harm can be a scary and confronting issue for many parents, and it can be difficult to know how to respond if you have discovered, or suspect, your child is self harming. Firstly, it’s important to understand what deliberate self harm (DSH) is (and what it isn’t). DSH is sometimes called non-suicidal self injury. It is important to understand that DSH and suicidal behaviours are different and have different reasons for arising. That being said, it is important to note that DSH behaviours in an individual increase their risk of suicide, particularly if the DSH has been going on for some time. Examples of DSH are behaviours such as cutting, scratching (breaking the skin), burning, hair pulling, head banging, punching self and any other intentional behaviour designed to cause intentional injury. The intention behind DSH is not to end one’s life – that is where it differs from suicidal behaviours. Some young people may experiment with DSH and do not continue because they find it does not give them a desired emotional effect. However, for some people, they find DSH serves a useful purpose of either giving them a sense of emotional relief or, providing distraction with physical pain – which feels like relief from emotional pain. It can be hard for those who have never engaged in DSH to understand why others would do it – but think about things you might use to distract yourself

ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

from emotional distress. For example, how many of us indulge in a drink after a stressful day at work? DSH serves the same purpose, but the underlying distress is usually much higher. One of the biggest barriers to treating DSH is the broad misunderstanding of the behaviours. There can be a lot of shame and stigma associated with these behaviours. Often DSH is treated by focusing just on the behaviours, for example devising ‘safety plans’ which do nothing to address the underlying emotional pain. We need to understand DSH is the symptom – the real problem is very high distress in a person who feels they have no other options for how to deal with it. What tends to happen over time with DSH is that it escalates. The behaviours will usually become more frequent and severe. This escalation occurs due to reduced tolerance to emotional distress. When a young person first starts to engage in DSH, they have usually been experiencing high distress for quite some time. Given their practical resources and level of development, they may struggle to identify ways to manage their distress, and find DSH provides quick, effective relief. The young person’s brain learns that DSH is an effective way of avoiding distress, so they start to use it more frequently. What happens over time is that their tolerance to distress goes down. Less severe triggers will result in DSH, and for some young people they will end up feeling they need to engage in DSH just to get through a normal day.

This reduction in distress tolerance is a big problem because distress is an inevitable part of life! We need to teach young people how to increase their tolerance to distress, particularly those facing stressors in their lives which may increase the levels of distress they experience (eg. trauma, mental or physical health issues, family dysfunction, bullying etc). THE DO’S AND DON’TS IF YOU SUSPECT DELIBERATE SELF HARM: DON’T Completely freak out! This is completely understandable if you discover your child has been engaging in DSH. However, it’s important to not get distracted by the behaviours, and instead understand and address the underlying problem (high emotional distress). DO Try to understand why they have been self harming. What does it do for them? Ask lots of open and non–judgemental questions. DON’T Be afraid to ask questions about suicidal thoughts. Ask them directly if they have been having any thoughts of wanting to end their life. If the answer is yes, that’s the time to immediately get in contact with crisis services who can do a thorough risk assessment. DO Contact a crisis service or mental health service immediately if you suspect or have evidence of suicidal thoughts in your child. Do not delay or wait to see if it passes. Call the Mental Health

Access Line, Lifeline or attend your local emergency department right away. DON’T Just remove a child’s access to means in which to harm themselves (eg. Removing blades), but not take any further actions to address the underlying distress. Removing a person’s access to means is rarely successful in preventing future DSH if done without other action steps. Remember, DSH is often an indication of very high distress and not knowing other ways to manage. We need to teach them other ways to manage their distress. DO Ensure immediate safety by making the environment safe and stay with your child. Make a plan with your child of where to get help and make appointments to do so ASAP. DON’T Punish DSH behaviours. Punishment shows a lack of understanding of the real problem a young person is experiencing. It is likely to damage trust and drive the young person to be more secretive about their DSH. DO Say that you are worried and that you will find help for your young person so they can feel better. DSH is a sign of very high emotional distress (even if your young person says it’s not!). DON’T Assume DSH is done for ‘attention seeking’ purposes. Most people who engage in DSH will want to keep it hidden, as it’s a source of shame for

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This reduction in distress tolerance is a big problem because distress is an inevitable part of life! them. Those that do openly disclose DSH are often feeling so desperate in their distress that it is a way of physically showing how much emotional distress they are in. DO Respond with compassion and without judgement. Try to understand why your young person is engaging in DSH. DON’T Assume children will grow out of DSH or it’s ‘just a phase’. DSH usually escalates with time and can evolve into chronic suicidal behaviours. DO Act quickly. Early intervention is key. If your child does not ‘click’ with the first therapist they see, shop around until you find someone who they feel comfortable with. DON’T Just book them into any mental health

service assuming they know how to treat DSH. Treatment for DSH is specialised and the wrong treatment can make the problem worse. DO Seek specialist advice and treatment. Ask your GP or look for services who specialise in the treatment of DSH. Specifically, dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT) has been shown to be an effective form of treatment for DSH. Investing in your child’s mental health treatment now can prevent further deterioration and risks for them later in life.

Mental Health Access Line (Central Coast) 1800 011 511 Lifeline 13 14 24 Mindful Recovery Services www.mindfulrecovery.com.au or (02) 4660 0100

Alexandra (Alex) Wilson holds a Bachelor of Social Work from the University of Sydney (2003) & is the owner of Mindful Recovery Services. Mindful Recovery Services is a private practice providing psychological treatment and support for adolescents & adults. Alex is passionate about dispelling myths about mental illness, and is highly skilled in dialectical behavioural therapy. She is an experienced public speaker and provides consultation to other professionals on managing difficult behaviours in teens. Alex lives on the NSW Central Coast with her partner, 2 young boys, & a cheeky puppy named Axel.

FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

How can

nutrition

impact my child’s ADHD? BY CLARE MARCANGELO

I often have parents call and tell me that they have a child who have either formal or suspected diagnosis of ADHD, and they have heard that food is related somehow, but they don’t know exactly how or why. In those cases I happily talk them through possible connections, and then we speak about specifically what may be how it is affecting their child. But recently it occurred to me that this is information that all parents, carers, and family friends deserve to know, so they can provide a loving, nurturing space for the child in their life that may be struggling. Perhaps the reason I avoid writing these kinds of articles is because I run the risk of further confusing parents. There is no magic pill, and there is rarely just one issue contributing to your child’s condition. It is a combination of factors that need to be identified in order to really see success. And we really can see success. However I know we can read something on the internet and struggle to quite manage to apply it to our lives, and that leaves us feeling that either we did it wrong, or it doesn’t work. Neither of these sentiments are likely right, nor do they leave parents in a state of hope. So lets break down at least some of the

O N T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

possible impacts Nutrition can have on ADHD. Chemical sensitivities, alongside household chemicals such as washing powder and perfumes, food chemicals can commonly trip up sensitive children and adults. In Adults it may cause headaches/migraines or hayfever–like complaints, however in children it can tend to manifest more as behavioural issues– hyperactivity, impulsive behaviour and difficulty concentrating. Artificial additives are in many common foods, so removing them can be a challenge, but so worth it. However some children also experience sensitivity to naturally found chemicals in healthy foods such as fruit and vegetables, so in these cases, identifying it and working to move past it is key. Even the slightest issue with gut health, which can come from birth and just become slightly worse over time, can cause a child extreme brain fog, anxiety and even obsessive behaviours. These gut issues can be almost hidden too, they don’t always manifest in obvious digestive complaints like bloating, constipation or farting etc. On top of this there may be hidden food intolerances, blood sugar imbalances so that even a typical diet leads to spikes and troughs in energy (distraction and impulsivity!) and concentration/focus. Studies have also shown many

children with ADHD to not have enough Omega 3 Acids to support cognition, or protein for Neurotransmitter support, meaning their anxiety or focus can be seriously hindered. This may look like a lot to sift through, but I prefer to view it as a long list of potential strategies to help our children unlock their true selves and thrive.

“

There is no magic pill, and there is rarely just one issue contributing to your child’s condition Clare Marcangelo is a local registered Nutritionist and former Early Childhood practitioner who specialises in children’s health. As a mum herself, she knows how hard it can be to make even the smallest of changes to a family diet.

SPECIALISING IN CHILDHOOD BEHAVIOURAL ISSUES, LEARNING AND ANXIETY.

To book, call 0404 795 677 or for more information visit childrensnutritionist.com.au

Covered by most private health funds

Working with families for over 20 years ATMS29747 ABN 89456352713

Support program to help community focused businesses come to life Central Coast Council is calling on community members who have an idea for a business venture that will make a difference to our community, to participate in this year’s Social Enterprise Launch Pad Program. An information session will be held on 21 February for interested people to learn more about the free program, which consists of a series of workshops and one–on–one mentoring sessions that will run from late March to June 2022. Council’s Unit Manager Community and Culture, Glenn Cannard said the annual Social Enterprise Launch Pad Program supports the development of innovative new enterprise models within the region and helps turn community focused business ideas into a reality. “The free program, which has been running since 2012, provides a step–by– step guide to research, plan, seek funding and establish a social enterprise that benefits our community – whether it be social, environmental or creative,” Mr Cannard said. “This annual program has helped start–ups, entrepreneurs, not for profit organisations and new businesses with a social vision go on to successfully launch community focused ventures such as the Iris Foundation’s ‘Wings to Succeed’ project.” Sue Liptrott, Executive Officer of Iris Foundation said taking part in the Social Enterprise Launch Pad Program was a supportive and creative experience. Ms Liptrott said “In 2021, Iris Foundation was accepted to take part in the Social Enterprise Launch Pad Program and we were so grateful for the opportunity. We were looking to introduce a project that would enhance the existing ‘Because We Care Boutique Central Coast’ and provide further support to women in need. Launch

Pad provided not only the construction and formulation of a defined pathway forward, but also valuable marketing tools for immediate use. These were instrumental in creating a platform to apply for grant funding for our new ‘Wings to Succeed’ project and I am happy to say that we were successful in receiving a Council Social Enterprise Grant in 2021 and the project is now underway.” Sue Bradley, concept founder of SWAMP (Sustainable Wetlands Agriculture Makers Project) Central Coast said that participating in Council’s Social Enterprise Launch Pad Program in 2020 has been key to the start–up success of SWAMP’s community garden project and education and training programs. Ms Bradley said “The Launch Pad program has given me the confidence to establish lasting relationships with community organisations, to form partnership programs and reach out to local MP’s, government and private organisations as well as Council. The continued mentoring after the program was to me, one of the most helpful resources. I highly recommend this program to anyone wishing to bring their social enterprise ideas to life. Through these conversations I was able to locate a site on crown land for SWAMP Central Coast where people can connect and discover the importance of growing food with sustainable methods and respect to the land and environment.”

Lyndi Leggett, founder of The Scuba Gym was a participant in the social enterprise program in 2019 and runs unique underwater therapy sessions for people living with a disability. Ms Leggett said “I definitely benefited from the connections I made from the program, and the tutors provided superb advice. I am still working with some of them in a mentoring capacity as I continue to grow this business. I would definitely recommend this program to social entrepreneurs that are committed to getting results.” Council Administrator Rik Hart expects this year’s program to be bolstered from an increased movement in society to undertake work with a purpose and give back to the community. “The Covid–19 pandemic has many people rethinking their careers and long– term goals and want to use their skills and talents to help others and service their community,” Mr Hart said. “I expect this year’s program will attract an increased number of participants and look forward to seeing what social enterprise ideas will come to the table for the benefit our region.” This year’s development program will be delivered in partnership between Council, Business Centre and Community Compass.

SOCIAL ENTERPRISE LAUNCH PAD INFORMATION SESSION An online information session will be held on Monday 21 February 2022. To secure a spot email Greg Combes at Central Coast Council Gregory.Combes@centralcoast.nsw.gov.au SOCIAL ENTERPRISE PROGRAM The workshop program is delivered face–to–face in Gosford and will consist of a series of workshops and one–on–one mentoring sessions that will run from late March to June 2022. Expressions of interest submissions close on 14 March 2022. For more information on this program search ‘social enterprise’ at centralcoast.nsw.gov.au or email Gregory.Combes@centralcoast.nsw.gov.au

FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

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best selves through play-based learning and researc O N T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

CANCER REHABILITATION & LYMPHATIC SOLUTIONS

How Photobiomodulation Therapy (PBM) using MLS ® Laser is preventing radiation dermatitis

or many cancer patients a common side effect experienced is a skin condition called radiation dermatitis, also known as X–ray dermatitis or radiation burns. Fortunately, Cancer Rehabilitation & Lymphatic Solutions in Erina now offers Photobiomodulation (PBM) Therapy using MLS® Low Level Laser. Backed by clinical evidence, PBM Therapy is proven to help prevent radiation dermatitis, and our patients are already experiencing fantastic results including softer breast tissue, reduced inflammation & irritation, reduced breast oedema symptoms, and accelerated tissue healing. What is radiation dermatitis? Radiation dermatitis is a common side effect of radiotherapy, which can damage skin cells as it fights cancer cells. Symptoms include redness, skin peeling, and ulceration. It usually begins to resolve several weeks after treatment ends. In some cases, it can appear years after radiotherapy has concluded. Soft tissue injuries and accelerated wound healing The MLS® Laser is effective in

promoting cellular healing through its Bio stimulation mode including almost any injury to a body part whether chronic, acute or post treatment. The Multiwave Locked System laser speeds wound repair due to the additional effects of reduced oedema and pain reduction simultaneously. The MLS® Laser is extremely well suited for the treatment of dermatologic conditions such as wounds, ulcers, sores, and radiation dermatitis. MLS® LASER TREATMENT IS NON– INVASIVE, PAIN FREE, AND HIGHLY EFFECTIVE How does it work? MLS® Laser uses two light wavelengths, synchronising pulsed and continuous light wavelengths, to reduce inflammation, reduce pain symptoms, reduce swelling, and accelerate healing of wounds and surgical sites. MLS® Laser Therapy is a medical breakthrough therapeutic device with unparalleled applications and treatment outcomes. The laser works by converting light into biochemical energy, resulting in normal cell function, which causes symptoms (PAIN) to reduce significantly.

Evidence based research and clinical studies MLS® Laser is clinically proven with over five thousand studies having been conducted and five hundred clinical trials completed. Experienced practitioners worldwide are taking advantage of the advanced and patented technology to help deliver optimal outcomes for their patients. Kate Perkins and the Cancer Rehabilitation & Lymphatic Solutions team are proud to be able to offer the local community the first and ONLY service of its kind on the Central Coast. Enjoy results directly following radiation With Photobiomodulation Therapy using MLS® Laser patients are also able to come in for hands free treatment during their scheduled radiotherapy at the Cancer Rehabilitation & Lymphatic Solutions clinic which is usually not possible without this technology. Patients have been thrilled by how quickly and easily they can enjoy the results of PBM Therapy. Resources: https://www.healthline.com/ https://www.healwithlaser.com.au/

LASER WORKS – Evidence Based Research Non–Invasive | No Drugs | No Injections | No Surgery Cancer Rehabilitation & Lymphatic Solutions in Erina is currently taking bookings for MLS® Laser Therapy, please contact 02 4312 7033. www.lymphaticsolutions.com.au www.bouncebackfrombreastcancer.com

MLS LASER THERAPY

The first of its kind on the Central Coast

ALLEVIATING PAIN AND INFLAMMATION AND ENHANCING HEALING FOR PATIENTS MLS Laser Therapy helps to overcome the painful symptoms typical of musculoskeletal disorders, post operative inflammation, side effects of cancer related treatments and more so that patients can return to everyday activities faster.

MLS LASER WORKS EVIDENCE BASED RESEARCH

Cancer Rehabilitation & Lymphatic Solutions in Erina is currently taking bookings for MLS Laser Therapy,

PLEASE CONTACT

02 4312 7033

FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 116

e v o l life Matters of

Dearly Beloved

I am pretty sure you are younger than me...so forgive me for the archaic reference...but surely you have heard of the iconic 70’s family show, the Brady Bunch. Even in the technicolour G–rated perfect TV family, nothing was perfect. Blending families has always been tricky, messy and fraught. Thankfully, since the Brady Bunch, we’ve come a long way. Not only do we not need to pretend perfection, but we also have many role models of beautiful inclusive, diverse, blended families. Do you have some role models around you to take guidance from? Beyond the biological, nuclear family unit – we now have what is sweetly named, your logical family. Which means simply, whatever makes sense for you and your kids and the important family of your creation. Working in relationship and family coaching, I’ve seen many combinations of family arrangements that work and don’t work, and I’ve figured out some basic guidelines that might offer some food for thought for you. Make sure all the adults involved behave like adults and then you can let the kids be kids. This means the adults involved need to be willing to skill into what it takes, great communication, respect, good will and integrity. It means involving all the adults in the various relationship constellations that will be formed in the new family and partnership arrangements, and plan what you will say and when you will say it. Also, discuss how you will all commit and agree on arrangements moving forwards at each stage of change and growth, so that everyone is singing from the same songbook. i.e. Check in with the dad, before you introduce the boyfriend. What will you say? When will it happen? Maybe he needs to meet him too?

ON T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

BY SARAH TOLMIE

READER QUESTION: Things between my boyfriend and I are moving to next level. It is time to introduce our families together. We both have children from our previous partnerships. We are both in good relationship with our former partners who are the parents of our children. Any advice on how to manage this next step and maintain harmony and happy relationships?

Define the boundaries of different relationships and roles. No new partner of a parent should be expected to become a parent to your child. One of the greatest mistakes is when new partners assume or are expected by the other partner, to take part in the parenting. Leave the parenting decisions and active lead to the parent, (and work out your differences away from the children, so you can be a support and a united team). The new partner is, however, assuming a role of a very important adult, presence, role model and perhaps fellow resident in the home. The key word here is ‘boundaries’. This is a skill for a lifetime. We don’t perfect the art of ‘respectful and safe boundaries’ straight away, but just to know they exist, and learning ways to understand and care about them, and how to navigate different relationship boundaries, is a practice for everyone to commit to do well. Give each member of the new relationships created, space to develop in their own good time. Trust good people will be good people and in time we can find something we can like, respect, enjoy and honour about all the people in our life. Place no pressure on everyone becoming ‘best buddies’ and ‘forcing the love’. Rather, demonstrate and teach all parties to value kindness, respect, honesty and safety – (and whatever else are your ‘family values’) and then let each relationship in the various combinations in the family environments, develop their own unique alchemy.

Know the rules of the house (not the person). Sometimes when kids move between houses/dwellings and different parents and caregivers, the rules change, and this can be confusing. You will be trying to combine many different ‘family styles’ and they don’t always form a singular, united approach. Each ‘household unit’ will have a different environment. Rather than demanding uniformity, it is ok to allow and adapt into a continuum of diversity and variety as long as the ‘family values’ are not contradicted. Rather than pinning rules on a person, it is often easier to know “how WE are in this house”. It is far less confrontational and invites agreement and participation by all. Bringing new good humans to join your biological family to create your logical family can be the most exciting and rewarding of experiences. My personal rule of thumb is when kids and adults alike can lean into the task with great love, they can find a world of diversity, inclusivity, variety, nurturing, fun and colour. Sure, the challenges are real, but what I find is that, knowing there will be challenges, aware parents are now heading them off at the pass before they brew. It just takes becoming conscious and deliberate in crafting the values, interpersonal and relationship skills and good communication. And good healthy loving. Wishing you lots of love, laughs and learnings. Much love Sarah x

Sarah Tolmie – Life & Love: Sarah is a marriage therapist, life & love and relationship coach, end–of–life consultant, an independent and bespoke funeral director and holistic celebrant. She provides holistic care, mentoring, guidance, healing and transformation for individuals, couples and families at their most important times of life & love – at end–of–life, in love & relationship, and in ritual and celebration. Sarah has a relationship online course for couples called “Creating a Miracle Marriage” and a free resource and video series for families facing dying, death and grief called “Landscapes of Life & Love and Loss”. To find out more, visit www.sarahtolmie.com.au and www.miraclemarriage.com.au

S START AY D THURSFEB 3RD

HELD AT VILLAGE CENTRAL WYONG on the ﬁrst Thursday of every month between 3pm – 5pm

To enter, customers will simply be required to spend a minimum of $10 or more at any specialty store or $50 or more at Coles at Village Central Wyong dated within the week of the promotion and present their receipt to the promotional staff at the wheel. This promotion will reoccur monthly on the ﬁrst Thursday of every month from 3pm – 5pm.Promotion starts Thursday 3rd February 2022. *Terms and conditions apply. Visit website for details.

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HELP FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY

A caring environment where frazzled parents can seek confidential advice and support. Relax in our playroom or explore our beautiful acreage – there’s a space to suit every family.

CALL 4385 5587

449 TUMBI RD WAMBERAL

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On The Coast Families / February March 2022

Articles inside

Soften your expectations in Motherhood

Dietitian’s Six Top Tips to packing a healthier lunch box

Exclusive Interview Maz & Lakey HIT 101.3 FM

Self harming & young people – A parent’s guide

PMS – The uninvited monthly guest