On The Coast Families / April May 2022 by On the Coast Publications ~ Families & Over 55

WELLBEING

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#117 APRIL/MAY 2022

Easter HAPPY

Easter holiday activities on the Coast

FAMILIES anger & aggression

in children

Cost Effective Eating:

Why eating healthy is better for your budget

CENTRAL COAST’S FAVOURITE FAMILY MAGAZINE

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THURSDAY

THURSDAY 14TH APRIL 14TH APRIL

$15 MEMBERS | $17 NON-MEMBERS $15 MEMBERS $17 NON-MEMBERS (ADULTS AND| CHILDREN MUST HOLD A TICKET) (ADULTS AND CHILDREN MUST HOLD A TICKET) CHILDREN 12 MONTHS AND UNDER FREE CHILDREN 12 MONTHS AND UNDER FREE

DOORS OPEN 10AM DOORS OPEN10.30AM 10AM SHOW STARTS

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No reserved seating. Floor seating event with limited seating at the back. Tickets available at the Club or online at www.ettalongdiggers.com No reserved seating. Floor seating event with limited seating at the back.

No reserved seating. Floor seating event with limited seating at the back.

E T TA L O N G D I G G E R S – Y O U R D E S T I N AT I O N 51 – 52 THE ESPLANADE ETTALONG NSW 2257 4343 O N TPHONE H E C OA S T – FA MILIES 0111 WWW.ETTALONGDIGGERS.COM

Welcome

Inside 4

Happy Easter – Fun for the kids this Easter Holidays

There’s a lot of talk around mindfulness and being present and whilst I do agree that this impacts our perception of ‘time flying by’, what does that actually mean? For me, and this is a massive work in progress in our household, it is not saying YES to everything and filling our days/evenings/weekends, being pulled from one thing to another and not having any downtime. It’s stopping to think are these ‘things’ actually taking us towards our goals or making our hearts sing. It’s also trying to reduce the amount of ‘rushing around’, letting the kids play Lego in the morning or popping into a park for a little play before school (if your situation allows). I think it’s not allowing ourselves to be all consumed by time and having to do something or be everywhere.

Step out in style these School Holidays

“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness” ~ Jon Kabat–Zinn

16 Coffee, Tea, Energy Drinks,

Happy Easter Coasties! How on earth are we here already? The second quarter of the year – where did the first three months of the year go? Looking down the barrel of April, which is one of the busiest family birthday months for us, it always seems that once we get to this point it’s a fast sprint to the middle of year. But does it have to be?

We are so blessed on the Central Coast that you don’t have to go far to be able to enjoy a little nature. Let’s enjoy the good life Coasties!

14 Cost Effective Eating: Why eating healthy is better for your budget Diet Cola, Pre–work Outs… zing or zzzz?

We hope you find 5 minutes in your day to stop time from flying by! Love and light always!

Tanzie & Luke

Art Director/Editor Tanzie Carpenter tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au Production Luke Carpenter luke@onthecoastpublications.com.au Publisher Tanzie Carpenter / 0414 611 851 Luke Carpenter / 0405 449 339 trading as On the Coast Publications ABN 52 212 212 482 PO Box 3251, Bateau Bay NSW 2261 For article contribution enquiries tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au

Printing Spotpress Pty Ltd / 02 9549 1111 Cover image Cloud Nine Photography cloudninephotography.net.au Imagery ingimage.com and freepik.com Contributors Jordi Woods, Sam Woods, Jessica Anscombe, Carin Clegg, Diana Arundell, Lynne Campey, Leisa Pritchard, Alexandra Wilson, Alita Blanchard onthecoastpublications.com.au

20 From Womb to World – The first three months

22 Trauma in the Life of a Child

24 Borderline Personality Disorder – What is it and What Can Help

26 Anger & Aggression in children

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Advertisers and/or advertising agencies upon and by lodging material with the Publisher for publication or authorising or approving of the publication of any material INDEMNIFY the Publisher, its servants and agents against all liability claims or proceedings whatsoever arising from the publication and without limiting the generality of the fore–going to indemnify each of them in relation to defamation, slander of title, breach of copyright, infringement of trademarks or names of publication titles, unfair competition or trade practices, royalties or violation of rights or privacy AND WARRANT that the material compiles with all relevant laws and regulations and that its publication will not give rise to any rights against or liabilities in the Publisher, its servants or agents and in particular that nothing therein is capable of being misleading or deceptive or otherwise in breach of Part V of the Trade Practices Act 1974. The views expressed in On the Coast – Families are not necessarily those of the editor or publishing staff. While every effort has been made to insure accuracy of the information in this publication, no responsibility will be accepted by On the Coast – Families. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission of the publisher.

Check out past articles at onthecoastfamilies.com.au @onthecoastfamilies APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

Easter HAPPY

LOADS OF FUN FOR THE KIDS THIS EASTER HOLIDAYS ON THE COAST

ROVING EASTER BUNNY EASTER 12.30PM SATURDAY – 2.30PM 16 APRIL

5PM – 6.30PM

TUESDAY 12 APRIL

Bring your family and friends and come say hello to the Easter Bunny

Meet the world–famous EASTER BUNNY, who will be giving out Easter eggs

MEMORIAL PARK, THE ENTRANCE

PLUS FREE face painting for kids

VILLAGE CENTRAL W YONG SATURDAY 11AM 9 AND 16 – 1.30PM APRIL

Meet the Easter Bunny & receive a FREE Easter egg

THURSDAY 14 APRIL

10AM – 1PM UPPER LEVEL

Animal Petting Zoo Bookings not required

THURSDAY 21 APRIL

11AM – 2PM UPPER LEVEL

Make your own Dream Catcher Limited spots available

Scan to book or visit villagecentralwyong.com.au

18–34 ALISON RD, WYONG

THE SUNKEN MONKEY

KIDS EAT FREE

EVERYDAY OVER THE EASTER LONG WEEKEND*

CLUB W YONG

ANZAC AVENUE, WYONG

GOSFORD RSL TUESDAY DOORS 12 AND 19 1.30PM APRIL STARTS 2PM

KIDS BINGO $7 For 10 Games

SATURDAY 16 APRIL

DOORS 1.30PM STARTS 2PM

EASTER MAGIC SHOW Tickets $10 @ Reception 26 CENTRAL COAST HWY, WEST GOSFORD

ETTALONG DIGGERS

WEDNESDAY 5PM – 6.30PM 20 APRIL

Hali Kids Easter Disco Special guest the Easter Bunny Kids get to enjoy their own fully supervised Easter disco with games, special prizes, face painting, balloonists and Easter eggs.

Ages 5–12 years / $5 entry

Tickets: https://www.eventopia.co/event/ Kids-Easter-Disco/474344 PARENTS/CARERS MUST REMAIN ON THE PREMISES. KIDS UNDER 5YRS OF AGE MUST HAVE A PARENT WITH THEM AT ALL TIMES.

50 NATUNA AVE, BUDGEWOI

BREAKERS COUNTRY CLUB THURSDAY 6PM – 6.50PM 14 APRIL

Easter Egg Hunt on the Breakers Golf Course 3–6year olds | 6 – 6.20pm 7–12year olds | 6.30 – 6.50pm $5 per ticket

THURSDAY 14 APRIL

WEDNESDAY 6.30PM FREE 20 APRIL

60 Minute Dinosaur Show Spectacular

FRIDAY 22 APRIL

10AM DINOMANIACS $15 Members / $17 Non–Members

*WITH THE PURCHASE OF A MAIN MEAL OVER $22. 10% SURCHARGE ON PUBLIC HOLIDAYS

Tickets available at the Club or online at ettalongdiggers.com

207 THE ENTRANCE RD, ERINA

51–52 THE ESPLANADE, ETTALONG

O N T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

HALEKULANI BOWLING CLUB

FREE Family on the Deck ‘Encanto’ 5PM – 8PM

Back to School Disco $5 per ticket / Tickets available online

64 DOVER RD, WAMBERAL

VIBRANT CONCEPTS

style

Step out in these School Holidays BY SAM & JORDI WOODS

For many, school holidays means making the most of your days with your little ones… picnics, parks, coffee dates, walks, movies, shopping days or even bringing them along as you step out to do the groceries. Whilst the mornings can get away from you, there are three things to do to ensure you step out in style no matter how long you have to get ready (these tips are also great once the kids are back at school!). 1. BE PREPARED and pull out your clothes the night before. This allows you to style up an outfit instead of rushing out the door and throwing “whatever” on. 2. MIX IT UP and try a colour, print or shape that you are drawn to, but wouldn’t normally wear. This helps to break the cycle of feeling like you are wearing the same thing everyday. 3. START WITH YOUR FEET and

determine what kind of shoes you need for the day. Shoes can make or break an outfit and if you are running around in a park all day, wearing nice beige loafers may not be the best option. When we start styling from our feet up it means we can adapt the outfit to ensure it is practical, comfy and stylish. Often our wardrobes can feel stale and repetitive when we wear something similar day in, day out. Below we have a few tips/styling ideas on ways to give your wardrobe a “pop” and “refresh”! Instead of a denim jacket, try a blazer with jeans for a casual chic look Always layer with a statement accessory i.e coloured bag, print shoe, statement scarf Opt for a coloured linen shirt and print belt with your jeans instead of a tee Mix high and low fashion together i.e a sequin/silk tank with a denim skirt and sneakers Give “print clash” a go. Some easy combos are spots/stripes, stripes/floral,

animal/stripe, checks with spots Swap out your jeans for a pair of overalls or a pinafore dress Whatever you are doing these school holidays be sure to step outside your comfort zone, to ensure you are stepping out in style. Vibrantly yours, Sam & Jordi Woods xx

Understanding styling and fashion is one thing. Having a super–natural flair for making everyday people look incredible is another. Once you’ve met Sam & Jordi Woods, it’s hard not to catch their infectious passion for dressing to match your own lifestyle, personality and charisma. Through their consultancy ‘Vibrant Concepts’, Sam & Jordi have transformed the lives of thousands. Let Sam & Jordi show you how to look and feel fabulous everyday at their Style Studio in Erina – learn the art of illusion dressing, colour matching, styling, translating fashion trends and savvy shopping with their unique VC Signature Styling Systems and services that are truly personal and really work! To contact Vibrant Concepts phone 0425 221 676.

A tale of unexpected friendship!

FO R

AG E

-6

Tue 10th May 10AM + 12PM Wed 11th May 10AM Recommended for ages 2-6 BOOK ONLINE *Service NSW vouchers accepted!

www.thearthousewyong.com.au

BEEP_OnTheCoastFamilies.indd 1

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APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

NAUGHTY NOODLES’

Great

Lights – Curtains – Action! Live Music is back. All we need it you! It’s time to get back to live music and there has never been a more significant time to gather, play music, dance and have some fun. “What is so great about Great Southern nights, it’s a state– wide leg up for producers, artists and audiences in support of the creative and live music economy, most of NSW will be activated so you won’t miss out on catching something, somewhere.” Naughty Noodle has been Covid closed since June 2021 (yes that’s over 8 months ago) with a brief 2 show stint in December. “In 2021 Naughty Noodle held the largest capacity Great Southern nights gigs across all theatres, pubs and clubs on the Coast and for 2022 have partnered up with the State government for not one but two very different Live Music spectaculars. Sunday May 8th “Ruffino and the coconuts”, present their acclaimed show

O N T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

Noodle Nights

‘tropical noir’ with a full 7–piece band to stir the bones and bring the hot tropics to Naughty Noodle Fun Haus. Rufino the violinist and specialist crooner from acclaimed European Kabaret ensemble Mikelangelo and the Black Sea Gentlemen leads the Coconuts, part Afro–Latin Tropical groove, Jamaican Rock–steady and part island–holiday sleaze–pop. Rufino’s blend of sounds no doubt influenced Serge Gainsbourg’s tropical recordings, Grace Jones’ theatrical Caribbean groove and the primal stomp of Nick Cave/Birthday Party. Tropical Kabaret with heart, soul, humour and mind–bending artistic vision that will transport you to the wild island holiday you can’t have just yet! We encourage your loudest and most offensive Tropical prints and get ready to hit the dancefloor. Saturday April 9th with “Supafresh” Dance party like no other get ready to vibe with live music, DJ mixes and performance art in an immersive evening of sound. Bring your whole

self – 90s Dress Code ploise! “Supafresh” is serving up a collaborative live music evening with Australia’s Electro Pop Goddess Tessa Thames playing a live set! Meshed in a feel–good deep dish with DJ Delinquent Disposition and 90s fashion inspired Performance Art in a mixed bag of Drag, Burlesque & Dance by MIDAS, Fox Pflueger and Jack Williams. Tessa Thames unleashes her modern 90’s nostalgic pop on the world from her adolescent diet of the Spice Girls, The Fugees, TLC, Shania Twain, Natalie Imbruglia, Mariah Carey, The Cardigans... Some may recognise her as the voice of Microwave Jenny.

Support live Arts, in real time, with real people, it’s the best medicine. Online Bookings only https://naughtynoodle.com.au/ whats-on Naughty Noodle Haus 5 Broken Bay Rd, Ettalong Beach

Celebrity chefs bring a unique fine dining theatre experience to The Art House

ombine celebrity chefs, theatrical visuals, storytelling, and delicious food and you get the most intriguing night out on the Central Coast this May. Double Delicious is the latest interactive theatre experience to hit The Art House stage starring Heather Jeong, Valerie Berry, Raghav Handa, Benjamin Law, and Jennifer Wong. Audiences will be seated at large dining tables on The Art House stage for this memorable experience in which they hear the secrets behind the dishes close to these chefs’ hearts. They will share their stories with theatrical flair of family, upheaval, loss and legacy. Each ticket includes a sample serving of all five dishes to activate the taste buds and make for a fully immersive and sensory experience. The Art House is thrilled to present such a unique performance event, with an aim to diversify its offerings on stage beyond the traditional theatre experience.

“We all know how flavours and aromas can transport us to deep memories and stories of our being,” says Marketing Co–ordinator Kristina Deminick, “Double Delicious reveals the lives behind the chefs from laughter to loss and reminds us of the powerful nature of sharing food.” Double Delicious comes to The Art House as part of a 2022 tour after sell–out seasons at Sydney Festival, Asia TOPA and Oz Asia Festival. “...a lush and evocative series of skilfully narrated performances, tantalising all the senses whilst also delivering moments of real human connection.” Cara Anderson, Limelight Magazine “...deeply moving and gently provocative, turning focus to Australia’s multiculturalism and the way that notions of authenticity are shaped by our world.” Ben Neutze, Time Out

The Art House presents – A Contemporary Asian Australian Performance production

DOUBLE DELICIOUS Wed 11 / Fri 13 / Sat 14 May – 8PM Thu 12 May – 2PM Tickets: Adult $85, Concession $80, Under 30 $65 www.thearthousewyong.com.au 02 4335 1485 Contact Details: Kristina Deminick / 02 4335 1485 kristina@thearthousewyong.com.au

 Smile Makeovers  Veneers  Same Day Crowns  Braces  Dental Implants  Teeth Whitening  Complimentary Consultations for Braces & Implants 76 Goobarabah Ave Lake Haven (opposite Red Rooster) CALL 4392 6466 OPEN MONDAY TO FRIDAY

www.dentalatlakehaven.com.au FOLLOW US ON @DENTALATLAKEHAVEN APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

Go4Fun face–to–face programs return for first time in 12 months A program aimed at helping children get active and eat healthier will return to the Central Coast in face–to–face format for the first time in a year after a Covid–enforced hiatus. Go4Fun will run for 10 weeks at Toukley Aquatic Centre every Tuesday from 4pm to 6pm, starting 26th April. It will also run at Niagara Park Stadium from 10am to 1pm on Saturday 30th April, and then every Monday 4pm to 6pm from 2nd May. Go4Fun is a free healthy lifestyle program for children aged 7 to 13 who are above a healthy weight to enjoy along with their families. Run by trained health and community professionals, Go4Fun is a fun way for children to build self–esteem and learn about eating well, staying active and living a healthy life. Participants take part in group activities and games, receive rewards and prizes, while parents benefit from professional tailored advice to help make positive health changes for the whole family. Go4Fun is a NSW Health state–wide initiative offered on the Central Coast by the Local Health District’s Health Promotion Service. Health promotion

ON TH E C OA S T – FA MILIES

officer, Julie Hunter, welcomed the return of in–person programs. “It’s great that we’ve been able to offer Go4Fun in its online format throughout the pandemic, however, we’re really excited to get our face–to–face programs

“

Places on the programs are limited though, so we urge families who want to take part to get registering soon to avoid missing out.

up and running again,” Julie said. “Nothing beats seeing the children interact with one another in person, take part in activities and make new friends. We know there are lots of local families who have been waiting for our face–to–face programs to return. However, for those who are not able to commit to the face–to–face program, Go4Fun Online is still available and offers weekly online sessions and personalised phone support from a Go4Fun coach.

To register, or for more information, visit go4fun.com.au or free phone 1800 780 900.

FREE EASTER SCHOOL HOLIDAY FUN! Meet the Easter Bunny and receive a free Easter egg! Saturday 9 and 16 April 11am – 11.30am 12noon – 12.30pm 1pm – 1.30pm

Animal Petting Zoo Thursday 14 April 10am – 1pm, Upper level Bookings not required

Make your own Dream Catcher Thursday 21 April 11am – 2pm, Upper level Limited Spots available! Scan to book or visit www.villagecentralwyong.com.au Proudly owned by

VillageCentralWyongSC

villagecentralwyong

villagecentralwyong.com.au

18 – 34 Alison Road, Wyong

APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

A community focused on happiness, education and belonging.

A place to shine

Call us on 4384 9000 to book a tour.

1 Reads Road, Wamberal Open from 6:30am to 6pm Monday to Friday Catering for Children aged 0–6 /alkiraearlylearningcentrewamberal

1 Reads Road, Wamberal

www.alkiraelc.com.au Alkira_elc

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O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

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reading

the corner

BY JESSICA ANSCOMBE

WILD SYMPHONY Author Dan Brown A few weeks ago, I spied a gorgeous children’s book at the library. The cover is a colourful arrangement of animals playing an assortment of musical instruments – an elephant blowing the trumpet, a nervous cheetah giving its all on the double bass, hilarious little mice swinging maracas and a spider weaving its way across a harp, to name a few. I’m always on the lookout for books to read to my kids and this one seemed lovely. I put it in my pile, without looking at it too much more, and took it home. After the intensity of dinner and bath time we love to snuggle up for a few quieter moments and read to the little ones before lights out. (This paints a lovely picture doesn’t it… But I won’t lie to you, often this time lacks the calmness that I strive for… still, we try.) On this night, we settled down and opened

the cover of the book I’d found at the library. That book was Dan Brown’s Wild Symphony. In my haste during the day, I’d missed the small writing on the front that read, “Includes music composed by Dan Brown!” So, we were all surprised to see on the first page “a secret message from Maestro Mouse” … The message read that this was in fact not just a book but had a soundtrack to listen along to as well. The first page includes a QR code that you scan to download the app and start listening along to the orchestra as you read the stories on each page. I retrieved my phone, and we were swaying along to the delightful symphonies within minutes. Each page is beautifully illustrated – featuring animals playing their music and includes a poem about the animal and an inspirational message too. At the end of each song, the kids were excited to turn the page for the next instalment. To enhance the fun, there are

also hidden letters on each of the stories. Find all the letters and they will make a word! Wild Symphony provides a layered and immersive story time experience. It’s one that you can come back to repeatedly, finding something new to see each time. I know we will!

TIP: Instead of finding the secret letters as you read, you might like to suggest saving that for a rainy–day activity!

Jessica Anscombe is a librarian and writer living on the Central Coast. She has a passion for literature and writes fiction and non–fiction. Jessica was the winner of the Wyong Writers’ 2021 Short Story Competition and her winning story is to be published in an upcoming anthology. She has also been longlisted for the Furious Fiction prize and you can read her short stories here www.jessicaanscombe.com/category/fiction/short–stories/ and follow her on instagram at www.instagram.com/jessicaanscombe/

APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

Specialist support helping children on the Autism Spectrum thrive It has long been recognised that some children with autism manage well in the mainstream classroom with support, but for others a large, busy classroom can be an over–whelming experience. For children like this, a smaller class size and specialist intervention assist them in reaching their goals and thriving in the education setting. Using a collaborative planning approach involving the parents, specialist educators and allied health teams, programs are created to assist students in building strong foundations for their education journey ahead. For the leadership of Green Point Christian College (GPCC) the move to establish Yattalunga Valley Christian School (YVCS) has been prompted by numerous families looking for a suitable place to better meet their child’s needs, and specifically to support children who are on the Autism Spectrum.

ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

After many years and months of planning and preparation, YVCS commenced in January 2022, with 10 students across Kindergarten to Year 2. Current Head of Primary at GPCC, Mrs Nicole Smith, has been invited to oversee YVCS as Principal, with a team of specialist teachers and teacher aides being employed to work in the school. Each child also has a team of allied health professionals such as Occupational and Speech Therapists who collaborate on the students Individual Plan (IP), and who are able to hold their sessions at school. Principal of Yattalunga Valley Christian School, Mrs Nicole Smith stated that, “our initial year the students have settled well and made new friends.

“

Our students are taught that they are unique, special and created by God All students have an individual plan and are working towards goals set by both parents and teachers, in line with NSW Education Standards Authority outcomes.” We love our kids, and they love coming to school – YVCS Teachers What’s more, “our students are taught

“

We love our kids, and they love coming to school YVCS Teachers that they are unique, special and created by God. They each have areas of strength to celebrate. Students attend Chapel and library with GPCC students each week, and enjoy playing together with the GPCC students on the playground.” The school has had a significant

YATTALUNGA VALLEY CHRISTIAN SCHOOL impact on parents also, with one mother commenting that, “My child was only attending school for two hours each day. I could not hold down a job and was constantly being called to collect him from school each day distressed. From the beginning at YVCS he is staying for full days; he is happy, engaged and loves coming to school.” Another parent added that, “the teachers are amazing; they communicate daily about what is happening at school through photos and messages. I can see that my child loves the smaller environment where he is known, safe

and programs are adjusted to suit his needs and learning style.” While YVCS has begun with only 10 students in 2022, the school will grow each year in accordance with demand for places. Enrolments are based children having a primary diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1 or 2), with eligibility to attend YVCS dependent on the child’s assessed needs. This ensures that YVCS can provide any specialist support that is required, that children are well–placed for success, with appropriate peers, and in a setting which best meets their needs.

Further information on eligibility, and applications for enrolment with YVCS are now open through the Yattalunga Valley Christian School website at www.yvcs.nsw.edu.au

ENROLLING NOW FOR 2023

Providing a caring Christian environment for students on the autism spectrum. www.yvcs.nsw.edu.au APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

Cost Effective Eating: Why eating healthy is better for your budget BY CARIN CLEGG – ACCREDITED PRACTISING DIETITIAN, BSC NUTRITION (HONS)

There is a myth that eating a healthy diet is expensive however we have known for some time that if you take into account multiple factors this is far from true. Eating healthy has been shown to reduce the likelihood and duration of colds and flus as well as prevent and reduce our risk of developing chronic diseases like diabetes, cardiovascular disease and cancer to name a few. This means that and if you eat a healthy diet you would not be needing to take time off work for illness and spend money on doctor visits, tests and medications for years to come. Eating a healthy diet means you do not need to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on vitamin, mineral or herbal supplementation each year, you get what you need from eating a range of foods. Unfortunately eating a sensible healthy diet does not ‘sell’. Beware of the multi–billion dollar fad diet industry marketing to you. Avoid fad diet books, pills and shakes etc that promise miracle or quick results. In fact most people, 80–90%, that lose weight quickly with these methods put even more weight back on and the experience leads to more of a negative impact to health and well being. Here are some things you can do to help you cut costs on your food budget. At the shops Choose healthy everyday foods from the 5 food groups: wholegrains, fruit,

vegetables, meat/meat alternatives, dairy/dairy alternatives and healthy fats/oils Choose whole foods in order to cook from scratch. Your knife skills will improve over time, you may even get more creative in the kitchen and you will not be spending extra money on pre–chopped vegetables and pre–made foods like pre–prepared meals, sauces, dressings and marinades Limit your purchasing of sometimes foods to only special occasions. These are high in sugar, fat and are of little nutritional value Make a list and stick to it. Plan what foods your family will eat for meals and snacks Avoid going shopping hungry to avoid impulse buying. We know that when we are hungry our self control part of brain does not function well and will be actively seeking out those high fat, high sugar foods for fast energy with little nutrition. Eating a sensible snack before shopping like a piece of fruit will definitely help the hip pocket in more ways than one.

In the kitchen Avoid food waste: Do not peel vegetables Portion food out carefully when cooking and serving to avoid overeating and plan to eat leftovers Make sure your fridge and veggie storage area is the right temperature and getting the appropriate amount of air ventilation by adjusting the vents.

on the

coast FAMILIES

Opt for home cooked rather than buy take away or eat out: Cook extra to have leftovers the next day, have some quick and easy meal written on a list on the fridge to remind you Some ideas include baked beans on toast, Spanish omelette or frittata, boiled egg salad with bread, 2 minute noodles with frozen veg and tofu, vermicelli noodle salad with a can of beans Have some healthy meals that you have cooked frozen ready for times you do not have time to cook. Good options include fried rice, bolognaise sauce, soup or a casserole Get all members of the household involved with some of the food prep so many hands make light work and even the kids learn the very important life skills of cooking a balanced meal. Perhaps allocate one person to cook each day of the week. In the garden There are many things you can grow that will make meals more interesting and cheaper than purchasing from the shops. Some easy to grow foods include: Herbs – parsley, oregano, basil, chives, rosemary, coriander, lemongrass, sage, mint Vegetables – shallots, lettuce, spinach, snow peas, choko, sweet potato Fruit – berries like raspberries, blueberries or perhaps a mulberry tree, grapes, avocado, nut trees Edible flowers can be used for flavour or decorating instead of sugar coated decoration – nasturtiums, violets, rose or marigold petals and any herb flowers Tea – peppermint, camomile, lemon verbena.

CENTRAL COAST LIFESTYLE MAGAZINES

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O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

Carin Clegg is an Accredited Practising Dietitian, (BSc Nutrition, Hons) and a Personal Trainer (Cert III, IV in Fitness) who is the Director of Bright Diets. Carin loves helping people be clever about their eating so they can feel happy, healthy and vibrant, living life to the fullest. Carin specialises in paediatric nutrition, food allergies and intolerances and intellectual disability (ASD, ADHD). Carin Clegg Ph: 0407 492 278 www.brightdiets.com.au https://www.facebook.com/BrightDiets

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Change | Healing | Growth Change | Healing | Growth

We are a team of highly qualified and well-experienced clinicians providing the best possible psychological assessment and treatment for the full range of mental www.heartandmindcollective.com.au health concerns, for kids through to adults: Anxiety www.heartandmindcollective.com.au Depression Traumatic experiences We are a team of highly qualified and well-experienced HOW WE management CAN HELP Stress and providing mood clinicians the best possible psychological Birth trauma, postnatal and infant assessment and treatment for theand fullmental range ofhealth mental We are a team of highly qualified well-experienced www.heartandmindcollective.com.au Autism Spectrum Disorder health concerns, for kidsbest through to adults: clinicians providing the possible psychological Anxiety assessment and treatment for the Disorder full range of mental Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Depression HOW WE CAN HELP health concerns, for kids through to adults: Behavioural difficulties Traumatic experiences Anxiety We are a team of highly qualified and well-experienced Social-emotional difficulties Depression Stress and mood management clinicians providing the best possible psychological Relationship and attachment concerns Traumatic experiences assessment and treatment the full range of mental Birth trauma, postnatal andfor infant mental health Gender Dysphoria health concerns, for kids through to adults: Stress and mood management Autism Spectrum Disorder Anxietypostnatal and infant mental health Addiction Birth trauma, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Depression Autism Spectrum Disorder Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, Behavioural difficulties Traumatic experiences Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder cognitive, learning and trauma Social-emotional difficulties Stress anddifficulties mood management

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Change | Healing | Growth

Behavioural difficulties Birth trauma, postnatal and infant mental health Relationship and attachment concerns Social-emotional difficulties Autism Spectrum Disorder Gender Dysphoria Attention Hyperactivity Disorder Relationship andDeficit attachment concerns Addiction Behavioural difficulties Gender Dysphoria Assessment of Autism Spectrum Social-emotional difficulties Disorder, ADHD, Addiction cognitive, learning and difficulties and trauma Relationship attachment concerns Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, Gender Dysphoria cognitive, learning difficulties and trauma Addiction Assessment of Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, cognitive, learning difficulties and trauma

The Heart & Mind Collective Approach The Heart & Mind Collective The HeartCOMPREHENSIVE &Approach Mind Collective Approach you are more We understand

than just your symptoms. We The Heart & Mind Collective have a person-centred and Approach approach to integrative COMPREHENSIVE supporting you.

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We stay connected with your health professional care team COLLABORATIVE so that we can understand and COLLABORATIVE work with the whole picture.

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Psychology support that Psychology support that Psychology support that considers the whole person, Psychology thatperson, considerssupport the whole theinside whole person, considers whole fromconsiders thefrom inside out. out.person, the

We use gold standard assessment methods and a EVIDENCE-BASED We use gold standard variety treatment We useofgold standardmethods assessment and a We use methods gold standard assessment methods and a including EMDR, Mindfulness, variety of treatment methods assessment methods and a including EMDR, Mindfulness, variety methods CBT &treatment Therapeutic Play. variety of of treatment methods

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from out. from the inside out. p. 02 4327 9435 | e. admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au | Wyoming, NSW p. 02 4327 9435 | e. admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au | Wyoming, NSW

APRIL/MAY –NSW ISSUE 117 15 p. 9435 || e. e. admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au | Wyoming, p. 02 02 4327 9435 | Wyoming, NSW

Coffee, tea, energy drinks, diet cola, pre–work outs… zing or zzzz? BY DIANA ARUNDELL – UNIVERSITY QUALIFIED NATUROPATH & NUTRITIONIST

affeinated beverages can do more than give a little kick of energy and have far–reaching effects on your health and well being than you may realise. The main surprise may be that these stimulating drinks can contribute to the fatigue you are trying to escape. Caffeinated beverages may also be contributing to the following: a reduced absorption of nutrients (minerals such as iron, zinc and calcium in particular), increased anxiety, disturbed sleep, an increase in hot flushes and sweats. Caffeinated beverages can suppress the appetite and whilst this may sound appealing to people wanting to lose weight, it can have the opposite effect in the long run. Many people are very rushed in the morning and rather than fuelling the body with a nutrient dense breakfast, many just have a coffee and fly out the door. The caffeine provides a well–received kick of energy and suppresses the appetite so then there is no real interest in breakfast. A little later in the morning or closer to lunch time, the caffeine wears off and lethargic low blood sugar levels ensue. Due to the suppressed appetite, people don’t feel like really eating so they have another coffee which again kicks up the energy and further suppresses the appetite. Later when this caffeine hit wears off, extra

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fatigue can be felt as a huge afternoon slump. This is exacerbated as there has been minimal if any, real metabolic fuel supplied to the body and the only energy supplied was an artificial, temporary energy which has worn off and suppressed the desire for proper nutritional intake. The afternoon energy slump can lead to bingeing on sweet or high carbohydrate/low nutritious food as the cells and brain are now starving so food that will increase blood sugar quickly is craved. Maybe a decent dinner is consumed but one good meal a day isn’t enough to provide essential nutrients for cellular health, metabolic function and good energy levels. Then the cycle of feeling fatigued and needing caffeine begins again. The above scenario of drinking

caffeinated beverages such as coffee and energy drinks can lead to further fatigue due to a legitimate lack of nutrients for the cells to produce good energy. Lack of nutrients can be a result of simply not enough nutrients consumed due to the suppression of appetite, as well as caffeine’s interference with the absorption of minerals. For example, if an iron supplement is to be better absorbed, it needs to be taken at least 2 hours away from caffeine. Coffee and tea consumed around meal times can also impact nutrient absorption due to caffeine and tannin content respectively. Fatigue can be further exacerbated if good quality sleep is affected by caffeine in the body – even if an individual doesn’t feel a ‘hit’ from drinking tea or coffee, it can physiologically still affect

the nervous system and consequently sleep quality. Most people can tolerate one cup of coffee before midday without sleep disturbance and it’s often that second cup that creates issues. Fatigue may also be a symptom of dehydration and as caffeine is a diuretic, this is another pathway to increase fatigue, although this can be avoided by conscious hydrating fluid intake. Hot flushes experienced through the menopause transition and sweats generally, can noticeably decrease when caffeine is eliminated or significantly reduced. Likewise, for those with an anxious or upregulated disposition, the nervous system can feel significantly more relaxed without caffeine in the system. This is especially noticeable for anxious individuals who take ‘pre work out’ formulas, as these can overstimulate their nervous system and lead to palpitations and heightened anxiety. Too much caffeine via energy/soft drinks/tea/coffee can impact bone density problems due to reducing the absorption of minerals and also by contributing to a more acidic environment in the blood. The blood has a very narrow range of pH that it likes to maintain and if that becomes too acidic, the blood may draw down calcium from the bones to buffer the acidic blood environment. How much is too much? Generally

speaking, one coffee per day in the morning after breakfast and before midday works well for most people. Eating breakfast first ensures nutrients are consumed and absorbed before the appetite is suppressed. Drinking a caffeinated beverage ideally two hours or more after breakfast, or at morning tea break works well as it doesn’t interfere with nutrient absorption from breakfast or morning supplements. If someone has an anxious disposition, eliminating all caffeinated beverages is the best option. Caffeine withdrawal is a real issue and can lead to intense headaches. These however only last for a day or two and gradual withdrawing can help, as can substituting with green tea which contains smaller amounts of caffeine. It’s not all bad news when it comes to caffeine – we know that there are benefits to having moderate amounts of coffee for example. These include improved alertness, performance, mood and even a reduced risk of cognitive degeneration, however too much caffeine can have the opposite effect along with the negative effects listed above. Individual constitutions need to be considered however generally speaking, 1 cup of coffee a day before midday and away from meals works well for most. Energy drinks and pre work outs are not recommended and instead, use food options to help increase energy and training performance.

For further information or to make an appointment please contact Diana Arundell at Avoca Naturopath & Nutritionist on 0410 465 900.

B.H.Sc (comp medicine) B.A., N.D., Dip. Nut, D.R.M.

Nutrition Herbal Medicine Fertility Management Children’s Health Wellness Programs 0410 465 900 avocanaturopath.com.au naturopathdiana@gmail.com nutrition and wellness | herbal medicine |

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Diana Arundell is a university–qualified naturopath and consults from her Avoca Naturopath clinic. She has a special interest in fertility and pregnancy health, digestive health, immune function and family wellness programs. She was a nutrition lecturer at Macquarie University for 10 years, and is an accredited Journey Practitioner. For further information or to make an appointment please contact Diana Arundell at Avoca Naturopath on 0410 465 900.

APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

RAY WHITE LONG JETTY

Leading Long Jetty agency partners with Australasia’s leading group Ray White has recently expanded its operations on the Central Coast into the thriving hub of Long Jetty, and in doing so marks the return of leading real estate agent Peter Moran and his agency, to rebrand to the familiar yellow. Having successfully traded as Property Central 2261 for the past ten years, the change to Ray White was an easy transition for the business as more than half the team had previously been part of the Ray White group before. “The change to Ray White felt like a natural fit for our agency. We are a locally family owned and operated business, so it feels right to transition to such a well–known brand such as Ray White which itself is a family owned company,” Mr Moran said. With over 30 years of experience under his belt, Peter Moran described the change as an exciting time that will deliver huge opportunities for clients. “The network of offices is extensive, provides enormous exposure for our vendors and landlords well beyond what we have previously been able to provide, as well as the most up to date technology that is proving to be a vital component of today’s innovative real estate offices,” he said. “This is a wonderful homecoming

“

a lot of the locals who live here now used to holiday here as kids for us, and we genuinely just really like and respect the corporate team and the extended Ray White network,” he said. Mr Moran and his wife Janelle Moran have run one of the most successful agencies on the Central Coast, and have built a stellar reputation amongst the local community whilst employing 15 staff members. The pair who are raising their own family in Long Jetty, understand better than anyone the appeal of life here.

come here regularly for the school holidays as a kid. Similarly, a lot of the locals who live here now used to holiday here as kids,” Mr Moran said. “It is just one of those places; the beautiful beachy relaxed lifestyle those in the big busy cities dream about.” Ms Moran said that the area had undergone significant changes in the past decade, with many retail shops, cafes, and bars popping up in the seaside/ lakeside town. “The land here is really sought after, because we are flanked by water on both sides.” The properties sold by the team range from small entry level units, to large waterfront multi–million dollar homes, to semi–rural acreage.

“I grew up in Bathurst, but used to “We experienced a huge influx of buyers during the pandemic, particularly those from Sydney who want some more space and are wanting a more relaxed coastal lifestyle,” Ms Moran said. The Moran’s said that their first year with Ray White will be continuing their sales growth under the new brand, and further growing their rent roll. “We are backed by a fantastic team who are full of local area knowledge and experience,” Mr Moran said.

ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

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From Womb to World The first three months BY LYNNE CAMPEY – REGISTERED NURSE/ MIDWIFE, AND CHILD & FAMILY HEALTH NURSE

Becoming a parent is a crash course in skills that there is very little preparation for! Often our exposure to babies prior to jumping into the parenting pool is limited and the newborn period (the first three months) can be very challenging trying to understand our baby’s needs. From womb to world. It is important to acknowledge the significance of all the changes that the baby has gone through from life in the womb to life in the outside world. This

O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

transition is the most radical period a human experiences in their entire life. At the moment of birth, babies suddenly need to manage all their own breathing, eating, pooping, temperature regulation, as well as adjust to a rather scary, loud and bright big world! The 4th trimester One descriptive term that I find helps to understand the newborn period is to label it “The 4th Trimester”. Just as we have expectations of our baby’s growth and the physical changes that occur during the pregnancy trimesters, it is helpful to understand that our baby does not arrive to the world fully ready to manage all the changes that come with

being born. Typically, it takes around 3 months for the baby to start to settle in to all these system changes which explains why the intense newborn crying period often starts to self–regulate at around 3 months. What is normal crying? The newborn crying period is sometimes called “colic”, which unfortunately can give the false impression that the crying is digestion related. The crying can be intense lasting up to 5 hours a day and can cause a lot of parental anxiety. This crying period typically starts in week 2 and peaks around week 6. Studies show that in most cases this normal developmental stage will pass no

matter what treatment is implemented. Although this pattern of crying through the newborn period is quite universal, every baby comes with their own little personality too. Some babies just have a lot more to say and sometimes a very loud way of saying it! Period of PURPLE crying A great tool to help understand the normal stage of newborn crying is “The Period of PURPLE crying” (http:// purplecrying.info/what-is-the-period-ofpurple-crying.php). This website can be helpful to look at the type of behaviour the baby is demonstrating and see if it fits within this framework of normal development. The acronym PURPLE stands for: Peak of crying (starting around week 2, peaking around 6–8 weeks, and resolving around 3–4 months) Unexpected crying that seems to come and go and you don’t know why Resists soothing no matter what you try Pain–like face (baby looks like they are in pain) Long lasting (crying can last up to 5 hours a day!) Evening (most babies will fall into an unsettled period in the evening). How can we manage this period? Once we understand that periods of crying are a part of a baby’s normal adjustment to life outside the womb, we are then more able to understand them and comfort them. Some ways to help

them as they make this transition is to provide an environment that emulates the womb. Things like: Reduce the level of environmental stimulation and go to a quiet, darkened room Securely hold them or use a (not too tight!) wrap to help them feel supported Good old rocking or patting and shooshing Allow them to have a suckle for comfort even if you think they can’t be hungry Learn to recognise their “tired signs” and start to settle your baby before they become over stimulated and over tired Depending on the time of day, go for a walk outside. It’s amazing how much better crying sounds when you are outside and not in the echo chamber of four walls! Leaving them momentarily in their safe sleep space is perfectly fine. Use that moment to “phone a friend” or simply have a moment alone in the shower or have a cup of tea. Babies will not hurt themselves with a few minutes of crying – in fact, sometimes the baby will actually calm down because their level of stimulation is reduced, and they can finally rest! Crying can really push our buttons and recognizing when you need to step away to gather yourself is important Keeping a “cry diary” can be helpful

information to take with you to your health professional visit. Crying that should be investigated Of course, it is important to rule out any red flags of crying and when medical advice should be sought. These include: Any sudden or acute changes in crying behaviour If baby is not demanding enough feeds – they need a minimum of 5 milk feeds a day (8–12 feeds a day is quite normal) If they are having less than 5 heavy wet disposable nappies (or 6 cloth nappies) a day or if their urine appears concentrated and smelly If there is blood in their poos (remember a breast–fed baby will have liquid yellow poos and a formula fed baby will have more pasty greenish poos) Poor growth. Help is out there! If you have any concerns with the health of your baby or you are struggling to manage with the level of crying don’t hesitate to seek help! You can see your GP or Child and Family Health Nurse, and they can check baby to be sure all is okay and offer relevant resources and referrals. You can also check out raisingchildren.net.au which has lots of helpful information and includes subheadings for the newborn period.

Lynne Campey is a Registered Nurse, Registered Midwife, and Child and Family Health Nurse with more than 20 years’ experience on the Central Coast. She is passionate about helping family’s transition to parenthood and understand their baby’s normal development expectations. She currently works at Your Family Doctors at Erina.

APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

Trauma in the BY LEISA PRITCHARD – PSYCHOLOGIST

Ruby* was 6 when her parents bought her for counselling. Although Ruby was a bright child, they had concerns that she was falling behind her peers socially and emotionally and had some troubling behaviours. After an initial assessment it became clear that Ruby had experienced multiple traumatic events. Ruby had a heart condition that had led to many hospitalisations and medical procedures in her young life. What is trauma? Trauma is an event that overwhelms the central nervous system impacting a person’s ability to make sense of what has occurred. For children this may be an event that they have found frightening, difficult, or sad. Experiencing trauma may change the way a child remembers and reacts to reminders of the event. These reminders are often referred to as “triggers”, as they fire up the “body’s memory” of the overwhelming stress response that occurred because of the traumatic event/s. It can be helpful to think of it like our body getting stuck at the time the event occurred.

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When does trauma occur? One way to understand the nature of trauma and its impacts on children is with the terms ‘Big T’ and ‘Little t’ trauma. ‘Big T’ trauma refers to life threatening events such as an accident, natural disasters, a single instance of significant sexual or physical abuse, the unexpected death of a parent, or even witnessing any of these things. ‘Little t’ trauma is recurring adverse experiences such as bullying, repeated medical procedures, exposure to substance abuse or domestic violence, or witnessing a significant world event. Repeated exposure to little “t” traumas can have a similar impact on a child to Big “T” traumas. It is important to understand that not every adverse event will traumatize a child. If the child perceives that they were able to escape the “danger” they may be able to process the event in a

healthy way. The first 1000 days of life and various points during adolescence have been identified as crucial developmental periods where a child is more prone to be adversely impacted by stressful life events. Due to her developmental stage, Ruby was not able to understand why she had to go through the pain of the medical procedures. Therefore, she couldn’t make sense of her experiences. What is even more difficult is that her loving parents often had to restrain Ruby during the procedures. Although the actions of her parents and health professionals were necessary to keep her safe and healthy, Ruby’s nervous system knew no difference. What are the signs that my child is struggling with trauma? Some signs that a child may be experiencing a traumatic stress

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response can be: Becoming withdrawn or shutdown Distressing emotions that feel unsolvable for the child Anxiety and worry Odd or out of character behaviour Violence Periods of zoning out, acting unlike themselves or forgetting things that they have done Changes in play; repetitive depressive or violent play Somatic symptoms such as tummy or headaches Changes to engagement with peers, attending school, and participating in activities previously enjoyed Regression of skills Nightmares and/ or bed wetting Separation anxiety. Ruby has strong emotional reactions to the mere mention of doctors. She struggles to maintain friendships, avoids school, and her teacher reports that she often appears “zoned out” during class. Ruby’s early experiences have led her to distrust her caregivers. Her parents are concerned because although Ruby has severe separation anxiety, she often lashes out at them physically. Her parents struggle to provide appropriate discipline as Ruby often has no recollection of these episodes. Putting the pieces back together A child can heal and move forward from their trauma when a sense of safety is restored in their life and relationships. A child can be helped to make sense of their experiences, understand that they are events of the past, develop a felt sense of safety, and identify people who love and protect them. Due to the nature of trauma, simply telling your child these things may not be enough. However, there are things a caregiver can do to support their progress toward healing: Let them know that their emotions make sense given what they have been through Let them know that you think they are brave and courageous Provide lots of time to connect with you Routine and consistency will help provide familiarity and predictability, helping to restore a sense of safety

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If the child perceives that they were able to escape the “danger” they may be able to process the event in a healthy way Exercise, good nutrition, and sleep routine to help regulate stress within the body Play, play, play! Never underestimate the power of playing with your child every day. Play is a child’s occupation, and they are often processing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences within play. Having protective factors such as a supportive family, nurturing caregivers, stable relationships, stability, and structure at home, caring social connections, and adequate housing, finances and healthcare can act as a “buffer” to trauma. Seeking the right help If you suspect that your child is showing signs of traumatic stress after adverse life events, it is important to seek the advice of a trauma–informed health professional. Ask questions such as what experience they have working with traumatized children, what approaches they use, and what the therapy process will look like. Therapy with Ruby involved restoring a sense of safety within her body and environment, supporting the repair of relationship ruptures with her parents, and helping her to process the troubling memories of the medical procedures by using age–appropriate therapeutic play, EMDR, somatic (body) regulation, and attachment–based approaches. Having a child that has experienced trauma can be devastating for parents. However, change, healing and growth are possible with the right support. *denotes fictional example

Leisa Pritchard is a Psychologist and the Co–founder of The Heart and Mind Collective, a private practice on the Central Coast providing psychological assessment and treatment to children, teenagers, & adults. Leisa has special interests in the areas of trauma, gender diversity, Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, and EMDR. Contact Leisa on 02 4327 9435, or visit https://www.heartandmindcollective.com.au for more information.

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APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

Borderline Personality Disorder WHAT IS IT & WHAT CAN HELP? BY ALEXANDRA WILSON (AMHSW; CSW; MAASW; BSW USYD)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is an often misunderstood and highly stigmatised mental health disorder. However it is not a rare condition, approximately 1–4% of the population are thought to have BPD, which is more than bipolar disorder and schizophrenia combined. BPD unfortunately has one of the highest rates of death of any mental health condition, with an estimated 10% of sufferers ending their own lives. This is an unacceptable statistic and shows we need to do more to provide those with BPD support and effective treatment. Diagnosis and Symptoms A personality disorder is defined in DSM 5 (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 2013), as, ‘...an enduring pattern of inner experience and behaviours that deviates markedly from the expectations of the individual’s culture, is pervasive and inflexible, has an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time, and leads to distress or impairment.’ (DSM 5, 2013; pp. 645). In other words, it’s part of somebody’s personality. In basic terms, BPD leads to difficulties regulating one’s emotions and emotional responses, and these difficulties have a significant impact on the person’s life and relationships.

A diagnosis of BPD can only be made in adults, however traits of the disorder can be seen emerging in adolescence. The diagnosis criteria for BPD requires 5 or more of the following apply for the person over time: Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, characterised by alternating between extremes of idealisation and devaluation Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self–image or sense of self Impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are potentially damaging (e.g. substance abuse, reckless driving etc) Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, threats or self–mutilating behaviour Affective instability due to marked

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reactivity of mood Chronic feelings of emptiness Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger Transient, stress–related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms. (DSM 5, 2013; pp. 663) As you can see, BPD may have many different combinations of these symptoms. Therefore, there is not one standard form of BPD, there are many variations. A diagnosis of BPD is often a diagnosis of exclusion. That means it is made when other diagnosis have been dismissed. It is common for people diagnosed with BPD to have had previous diagnoses of depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions. People with BPD can also have co–existing mental health issues as well as BPD. For example, it

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is not uncommon for people to have depression or anxiety, as well as BPD.

had lots of contact with mental health services and professionals in the past.

Causes The most widely accepted theory of what causes BPD is a bio–social explanation. This means a person has a biological disposition towards the disorder (so they are born with a biological or genetic disposition), plus experience of an ‘invalidating environment’.

There is significant stigma associated with BPD, even within health services. BPD behaviours are often misunderstood as ‘attention–seeking’, or ‘manipulative’ in nature. These labels are not only incorrect, they are harmful and can stand in the way of effective treatment.

An invalidating environment is defined as any experiences that result in emotional invalidation. This can be severe, such in the case of childhood abuse. It could also be something less obvious, such as parents who dismiss and invalidate the display of emotions in a child. Trauma–related mental health conditions, such as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can display very similar symptoms to BPD. Many people with BPD have a history of trauma, but not all. The results of childhood trauma are very similar to BPD symptoms, such as difficulties regulating emotions, difficulties with attachment and relationships, and an unstable sense of identity. It is important to recognise the role of trauma in anyone diagnosed with BPD, however it may not change the recommended treatment plan for recovery. Treatment People with BPD often try lots of different forms of mental health treatment in their journey towards wellness, but often have limited effectiveness from these treatment. Common forms of therapy, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), are often ineffective for BPD. It is not uncommon for people with BPD to have

There is however, significant research to indicate that people with BPD benefit from a specialised treatment approach, and that risk issues be managed slightly differently from other diagnostic groups.

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A diagnosis of BPD can only be made in adults, however traits of the disorder can be seen emerging in adolescence. Research into BPD has demonstrated best outcomes for people who engage in Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT). DBT has been extensively researched, and shown to be the best form of treatment for BPD. Research has also shown DBT can be highly beneficial for other conditions, such as drug and alcohol addiction, eating disorders, and any condition resulting in difficulties regulating emotional states. DBT targets emotion regulation and distress tolerance as core components of the therapy. Interpersonal effectiveness skills and mindfulness are also core aspects. DBT is traditionally offered in a group and individual therapy framework. The groups focus on teaching psychological skills. The

individual therapy sessions are focused on individual issues, monitoring of mood, behaviour change, as well as forming a therapeutic relationship. DBT therapy also allows contact between client and therapist between sessions, which is highly effective in producing positive change. If You or Someone You Love Has BPD (or is suspected to have) It’s important to realise there is effective treatment available for BPD. As with all mental health conditions, early intervention is preferable. Whilst children and adolescents cannot formally be diagnoses with BPD, behaviours such as self harm and emotional instability can and should be addressed before adulthood. Families and parents may also benefit from education and support if their child is suspected to have emerging traits of BPD. If you are worried about yourself or someone else’s mental health, seek help and advice. Talk to your GP or mental health professionals, and consider trying a DBT program near you. Most importantly, if you have tried treatment before and not had a good experience, don’t give up! It often takes time to find the right treatment approach and the right therapist– but your mental health is important! Hopefully in the future BPD will become less misunderstood and stigmatised, and seeking help will be a common thing to do.

Mental Health Access Line (Central Coast) 1800 011 511 Lifeline 13 14 24 Mindful Recovery Services www.mindfulrecovery.com.au or (02) 4660 0100 Alexandra (Alex) Wilson holds a Bachelor of Social Work from the University of Sydney (2003) and is the owner of Mindful Recovery Services. Mindful Recovery Services is a private practice providing psychological treatment and support for adolescents and adults. Alex is passionate about dispelling myths about mental illness and is highly skilled in dialectical behavioural therapy. She is an experienced public speaker and provides consultation to other professionals on managing difficult behaviours in teens. Alex lives on the NSW Central Coast with her partner, 2 young boys, and a cheeky puppy named Axel. APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

anger & aggression

n e r d l i h c in

They are not bad or naught y, they need your help. BY ALITA BLANCHARD, PARENT COACH

When life gets tough with your children and they are expressing a lot of anger and acting aggressively, it can be incredibly triggering and challenging for parents to know what to do. This article will introduce some ideas on how to normalise anger and healthy aggression and to support your child through these challenging moments. Please know this is a nuanced topic and requires a deeper understanding of child development, brain and attachment and nervous system science that cannot be covered in a short article. Reach out to me directly for deeper support. When you child has angry and aggressive behaviour the focus needs to be: Regulating yourself first Keep bodies safe Slow everything down

Be present and know this is your MOST important work Self compassion Nervous system care.

think “my child is violent and needs serious help” We are screamed at by our tween and think “I’ve raised a monster.”

ABOUT AGGRESSION Most of us learned as children that standing up for our beliefs, saying No, and expressing our wants and needs were not welcome. We learnt to suppress our feelings. We learned that using our voice was dangerous and that anger and rage will be punished.

These expressions of aggression are actually signs that our child needs us – with love, support and regulation.

And so when we have children and they start displaying anger and aggression, it feels almost unbearable and we get stuck in a cycle of fear and judgement. For example We see our 2–year old bite their cousin and we think, “Oh my god, what is wrong with my child?” We are hit by our 5–year old having an enormous emotional storm, and we

WHEN YOU CHILD IS AGGRESSIVE Don’t do this: Hit or bite back Yell and scream Spank or smack Start lecturing them Teach them what to do while they are upset – their brain is offline. Punish them or time out – it only creates disconnection, not learning Call them “bad” or “naughty” – this is shaming your child. Do this: Consider their age and stage of development Practice your own self regulation tools

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O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

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to calm your nervous system Set a limit “I’m not willing to let you hurt me/bite me /hit the baby/break the thing” Set a firm “No” if you must Use your body as a boundary – use your hands to block hits and bites and protect your child – while children are little you realistically need to stay close to toddlers, babies and even older children. Stop the hit. Block the hands. Gently hold their hands Expect anger, rage, tears or tantrum – a child that is acting out in this way likely has big painful feelings that need release. LISTEN Try not to personalise their behaviour – you are NOT a bad parent. You have a child with big feelings. This is OK Holding – if your child is raging and really trying to hurt you/others/ property, you may need to gently hold them. This can feel deeply confronting for some mothers AND fathers Ask for help – husband, family, friend, babysitter, listening partner, parent coach Look for unmet needs – hungry, anxious, lonely, disconnected, tired, painful feelings After a good release and listening, your child may soften and need to feel safe and regulated again. Cuddle and snuggle Self compassion for yourself – this is not easy.

how we protect ourselves from possible threats. A child needs an adult to help them regulate in these moments. Anxiety This is common and a great resource is www.heysigmund.com and www.monadelahooke.com Lacking important minerals and nutrients Many children are deficient in magnesium, iron, B vitamins, vitamin D and zinc. These can cause a myriad of issues. Seek out holistic support for more.

ONGOING AGGRESSION COULD BE RELATED TO MANY THINGS: A backlog of painful feelings If a child’s tears and anger and sadness have been suppressed since birth, they will likely have painful feelings that need release.

WHEN THEY ARE CALM, TEACH AND MODEL HEALTHY AGGRESSION PRACTICES These can take a long time to truly integrate – trust that process: Grab a wet towel and twist the water out Squishy balls and growl like a bear as your squeeze them Teach them to notice that when their body feels hot and angry, to hold themselves and squeeze their own body Running games, jumping jacks and strong beat music (when calm).

Nervous system dysregulation The fight/flight/fight/fawn response is

Full–throttle play and laughter medicine:

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IS YOUR FAMILY COMPLETE? Have you thought of your options? Have you considered a vasectomy?

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Engage in full body play! Mindful of your body’s range of motion and ability, engage in wrestling, tag, leapfrog, pillow fights, catching them in a blanket while they run around the house. This gets kids laughing uproariously, releasing pent–up energy.

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Try not to personalise their behaviour – you are NOT a bad parent A CHILD BEING AGGRESSIVE MAY INCREASE WHEN: There is stress in the home – divorce, anger in adults, grief Moving house / schools New sibling Changing caregivers. SUPPORT YOURSELF We are not meant to parent in isolation. Get support for yourself first – as a conscious parenting coach, all of my work starts with the parent first. Supporting YOU, listening to YOUR feelings, helping you make sense of your reactions and beliefs. Helping YOU to build regulation tools. You cannot truly support your child unless you have capacity to listen to feelings.

Visit online at theawaremama.com.au and sign up to Aware Mama news to a free ebook on Radical Self Care tips. Alita Blanchard, The Aware Mama Based on the NSW Central Coast, Alita is a mother of 4 boys and is a Conscious Parent Coach, Rites of Passage and Women’s Circle facilitator. She provides regular mothers circles, workshops and parent coaching programs. Instagram: @alitablanchard_parentcoach alitablanchard@gmail.com www.theawaremama.com.au

APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

Starting school in 2023? One of the biggest decisions families make is where to send their child to school. At Wyong Christian Community School, we understand and value the importance of the early schooling years, as these set the foundations for your child to thrive in their future endeavours. A significant factor when children commence school is their readiness. Some children may have turned 5 but are not yet ready for school life. Children need to be socially and emotionally ready in order to flourish within an educational community. Below is a guide taken from learningpotential.gov.au to help you decide if your child is ready for Kindergarten in 2023: Social Skills Being able to get along with other children, demonstrate basic manners, assert themselves, and being able to play independently as well as with other children.

O N T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

Emotional maturity Being able to manage their emotions, cope with minimal adult contact in large groups, focus on tasks, follow directions and instructions from teachers, cope with the stress of the new school environment, and understand the rules. Language skills Being able to talk and listen to adults and other children, speak clearly, communicate needs, understand stories, and begin to identify some letters and sounds. Cognitive Skills Basic number sense, basic thinking skills, being able to wait and take turns. Physical health and coordination Basic health, fine motor skills (such as being able to grip a pencil and turn pages in a book) and physical coordination (being able to run, jump, climb, and play ball). Independence Basic skills to manage their needs without adult supervision, such as going to the toilet, dressing, unwrapping their lunch and managing their belongings.

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Some children may have turned 5 but are not yet ready for school life. Providing education for three decades, Wyong Christian Community School embraces students and their families into our school community.

WYONG CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY SCHOOL Our school has dedicated teachers who consider teaching to be more than just a career. It is our ministry to develop each child to their full potential and equip them with the skills, knowledge and character needed to be responsible, accomplished and compassionate members of the community.

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One of the biggest decisions families make is where to send their child to school

Our solid academic programs are taught from a biblical world view and our students achieve outstanding results in the HSC. Christian principals are imparted throughout the school day and students are provided with creative arts, sporting and academic extension opportunities.

Transition to School program. During this program, the children are supported, observed and assessed to determine where they are developmentally, socially and emotionally. This will help us to form classes to best place your child in the 2023 Kindergarten cohort.

Our Kindergarten enrolments are open for 2023 and beyond, and we would welcome your family’s enquiry. In Semester 2, we will commence our

At Wyong Christian Community School, we run personalised tours at a time that suits your family. We also hold Open Days twice per year.

We would love to hear from you and take you for a tour to experience our school community. For more information, please visit our website at www.wyongccs.nsw.edu.au or call us on 4351 2020.

APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

SMILE ON CLINICS

Welcome to Smile on Clinics Local leaders in cosmetic dentistry & dental implants

Enjoy eating again Minimal pain during treatment Look and feel like natural teeth Long lasting solutions for single or multiple missing teeth Efficient treatment & recovery time Minimal maintenance Help prevent further bone loss associated with missing teeth. View your smile before treatment starts Now you can see what your smile will look like before treatment starts! With Digital Smile On Design, you can actually see the end result before you commence with the procedure.

What a year 2022 has been so far! With everything happening in the world today, now more than ever it is so important to consider your health and wellness and what better place to start than your smile. Welcome to Smile on Clinics – Local leaders in cosmetic dentistry and dental implants. Smile On Clinics comprises of a network of premium dental practices located across the Central Coast, Hunter Valley region, Sydney and beyond. Dental practices include Mingara Dental & Implant Centre, Warnervale Dental, Avoca Beach Dental, Saratoga Dental, Empire Bay Dental, Bonnells Bay Dental, Burwood Tailored Teeth and Poynton Place Dental & Implant Centre soon to open in Thornton. Led by dental innovators and leaders in dental implants and cosmetic dentistry, Dr Ned Restom and Dr David Bassal are paving the way for a fresh approach to dentistry. Also, the passionate Founders of The Australasian Implant Academy (AIA) the dental pioneers are teaching other dentists how to deliver premium implant services for their patients and are doing it right here on the Central Coast working in partnership with Brisbane Private

O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

Waters Hospital to offer optimal care and outcomes for patients. Smile on Clinics goal is to provide exceptional, comprehensive dental care to patients in a friendly and caring environment, educating, and encouraging patients toward a state of optimal oral health. Using the most advanced treatment and technology available, Smile on Clinics are creating beautiful smiles across the Coast. Have you heard about TEETH ON IMPLANTS®? Keep smiling with confidence with TEETH ON IMPLANTS®. Do you want to improve your smile permanently? If you are embarrassed to show your smile because you have lost teeth over time, TEETH ON IMPLANTS® (also referred to as ALL on 4) can make you smile again. The TEETH ON IMPLANTS® system available exclusively at Smile On Clinics, is a highly effective dental technique that offers a permanent solution to missing teeth. The treatment refers to supporting all teeth on multiple implants, making them look, feel and function just like natural teeth. The procedure is particularly suitable for patients who may have missing, decayed or broken/ chipped teeth.

Anxious or scared about the procedure? Don’t be! The TEETH ON IMPLANTS® procedure can be completed under sleep sedation at Smile on Clinics, or general anaesthetics in a private hospital under the care of a specialist anaesthetist. Your Smile On Clinics dental implant expert is here to guide you Every patient is slightly different and has unique needs and it is impossible to ascertain suitability or the exact treatment or cost without an assessment by one of our dental implant experts. Please note that all surgical procedures carry risks, including infection. These treatments do not apply and cannot be performed on everyone. A process of thorough examination and assessment are required, and the outcomes may vary depending on multiple factors. Payment plan options are available Dental treatment can be costly, and we believe that everyone deserves to get the smile of their dreams which is why we offer a range of payment plan options. Our friendly team can run you through these during your consultation.

Want to take the next step towards getting the smile you deserve? Book a consultation today!

TEETH ON IMPLANTS® Major Benefits: Speak with confidence

https://www.smileon.com.au/

Creating beautiful smiles

Now more than ever is the time to look after your health and this starts with your smile. •

Professional and personalised care

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Twilight and IV sedation for anxious patients

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State of the art facilities utilising the latest technologies and techniques

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Health fund only rebates for check-ups, cleans, fluoride and radiographs

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Comprehensive range of services including general dentistry, cosmetic dentistry, dental implants, whitening, Invisalign and more

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Finance options available

BONNELLS BAY DENTAL

EMPIRE BAY DENTAL

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POYNTON PLACE DENTAL & IMPLANT CENTRE

SARATOGA DENTAL

TAILORED TEETH BURWOOD

WARNERVALE DENTAL

APRIL/MAY – ISSUE 117

On The Coast Families / April May 2022

Articles inside

Coffee, Tea, Energy Drinks Diet Cola, Pre–work Outs… zing or zzzz?

Anger & Aggression in children

From Womb to World The first three months

Borderline Personality Disorder – What is it and What Can Help