FUNNY STUFF BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH NOW AND THEN...
Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his truck and trailer and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally, he got into the car and started the engine, switched the wipers on and off....(it was a fine, dry summer night), flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. Finally, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any A Sunday school teacher was discussing alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the the Ten Commandments with her five police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.' ' and six year olds. After explaining the I seriously doubt it', said the truly proud Hillbilly. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.' commandment to"honor" thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "is there a commandment that teaches us how to Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their hot air balloon is engulfed treat our brothers and sisters?" Without in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they stay adrift for days. missing a beat one little boy (the oldest Suddenly, the clouds part to show a beautiful meadow below. As they begin to descend, of a family) answered, "Thou shalt not they see a man walking his dog. One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are kill." we?" The man yells back, "About a half mile from town." Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer." The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?" The first says, "It's simple, the information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant. A couple is shopping in the mall for hours. The wife turns to talk to her husband and realizes he’s nowhere in sight. Angry, she calls his cell phone and asks where he disappeared to. “Honey,” he says, “remember that jewelry store we walked by a few years ago, and you loved the gold locket in the window but we couldn’t afford it, so I told you I would buy it for you one day?” Choked up, the wife replies, “Yes, how could I forget?” Her husband goes on, “Well, I’m at the bar next door to it if you need me.” 46 46
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