fiftysomething | December 2011

December 2011

HOLIDAY ENTERTAINING Decor, nogs and gifts

NEW COLUMN:

Financial advice for a volatile market

HOLDING COURT Racquetball builds fitness, friendships

December ’11 HOLIDAYS 5 Set a festive mood when you set the table — decor ideas from Des Moines-area shops.

9 Choose the perfect eggnog, then dress it up for your holiday occasion.

FITNESS

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16 Mary Kay Casey has a knack for guiding families of hospice patients after the death of a loved one.

Adel Bondurant Boone Indianola Newton Perry Runnells Waukee

EDITOR

10 Need a gift for the person who has everything? There’s a show or concert ticket to fit everyone on your list.

12 Deb Cazavilan reinvents her cooking workshops after time away from the classroom.

Deb Cazavilan loosens pita dough from the paper and stretches it before baking it.

Her Wooden Spoons Workshops and Cooking Classes are held at 303 S.W. School St. in Ankeny. ANDREA MELENDEZ/THE REGISTER

fiftysomething

20 A little friendly competition goes a long way to helping racquetball players keep fit.

Amanda Holladay

PHOTOGRAPHERS Andrea Melendez David Purdy Darla Adair-Petroski Charles Flesher Joe Hawkins Kimberly Isburg

TO PLACE AN AD CALL SHANE MORRIS (515) 284-8032 Des Moines Register Magazine Division

VICE PRESIDENT CONTENT Rick Green

PRESIDENT & PUBLISHER Laura Hollingsworth © 2011 Des Moines Register and Tribune Co. fiftysomething is published monthly by The Des Moines Register and Tribune Company. Our offices are at 715 Locust St., Des Moines, IA 50309. Contact us at emoderso@dmreg.com.

MONEY 22 A new column from RBC Wealth Management provides key points to help investors ride out the stock market’s wild ups and downs.

ON THE COVER: Racquetball players Susan Acoymo (left), Scott "Doc" Faulkner (middle), and Mike Earp (right), gather outside courts at the Ankeny YMCA.

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December 2011 | fiftysomething 3

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This level of expertise leads to more successful outcomes with less time in the hospital. It also contributed to our hospitals being recognized as Blue Distinction Centers for Knee and Hip Replacement by Wellmark® Blue Cross® and Blue Shield.®

Designated by:

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Iowa Health – Des Moines is proud to offer great orthopaedic care at all of our facilities. For more information, call 515-343-1365.

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Iowa Methodist Medical Center and Methodist West Hospital

holidays

Put your table in the

PARTY MOOD

BY SARAH DOSE PHOTOS BY DAVID PURDY

Modern touches make a simple, low-key tablescape. Cracked glass vase ($20) and glitter berry garland ($29.95), Pier 1 Imports; bird candlestick holder ($23), Sisters.

So many choices for holiday decor; so little time it’s actually used.

Don’t lose focus when decorating this year — keep your holiday table sleek and sparkly, or just a little bit out of the ordinary.

December 2011 | fiftysomething 5

holidays

Amber-colored accents paired with gold candlesticks give off a warm feeling and are a respite from the usual red and green decor. Amber feather tree ($20) and gold candlesticks ($2.50 apiece), Que Sera; amber-scented candles ($7 apiece), Pier 1 Imports.

6 fiftysomething | December 2011

With glasses as pretty as these, you won't have to splurge on flowers or other big centerpiece items. Poinsettia stemware ($10 apiece), tinsel place mats ($4.95 apiece), bell napkin rings ($3.95), and silver spray napkin rings ($4.95), Pier 1 Imports; April Cornell napkins ($28 for a set of six), Sisters.

Go shopping Pier 1 Imports, 1965 S.E. Delaware Ave., Ankeny; 963-9119 Que Sera, 100 Fifth St., West Des Moines; 279-2750 Sisters, 202 Fifth St., West Des Moines; 277-8778

Make your tables and mantels sing with glitter. April Cornell 54-inch square tablecloth ($55), glittery ornamental Christmas tree ($17), flat glittery Christmas tree ($22), and Mercury pillar candle holder ($26), Sisters.

For a classy dinner party, go old-school with Spode dinnerware. Que Sera has almost an entire set, with prices starting at $10 for a glass or mug.

December 2011 | fiftysomething 7

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holidays

Can’t beat a classic eggnog Taste testers prefer original recipe, but don’t discount lower calorie variations

BY TOM PERRY TPERRY@DMREG.COM

E

ggnog is one of the quiet harbingers of the winter holiday season.

Unlike the often-gaudy Christmas decoration displays that get set up way too early in the year, eggnog will simply pop up around October in the dairy case of supermarkets with very little fanfare.

The treat is sweet, rich and consumed mostly between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve. Time was when maybe two different eggnog brands would appear in stores to announce the season. But these days, consumers have an array of choices.

At least eight variants of eggnog can be found chilling in central Iowa.

With this many options, it seemed like a good idea to kick the tires on some of the newer nogs as well as the old favorites.

At the end of a blind tasting, the eggnog that the test panel liked best was A&E Classic made by Anderson Erickson.

Creamy with a nice, smooth consistency and just a hint of nutmeg, this eggnog is true to the traditional flavors of the season.

The other eggnogs will all bring holiday spirit to the table. Yes, a few of them will lack in substance. But that’s a result of their noble attempt to provide healthier options for consumers.

What follows are comments from a panel of four tasters: Kemp’s Irish Cream: No where does the word “eggnog” appear on the carton. But this drink promoted itself as a “holiday” drink and can be found on shelves near other eggnogs. The panel agreed some might like this creamy drink because it tastes like butterscotch pudding.

A&E Lite Eggnog: This would be the alternative for the calorie conscious.

With one-third fewer calories and 80 percent less fat, this drink was thinner than most of the other brands. It lacked that “eggnoggy,” flavor, as one panel member put it, but anyone who likes the taste of nutmeg will appreciate this variation while saving some calories.

Silk Nog: The best reason to bring home this holiday drink is because someone at the table needs a lactose-free “nog.” One panel member said, “This tastes like the bubble gum you used to get at the dentist office.”

A&E Classic: All of the tasters had positive reactions. The recipe for this eggnog has been used for 50 years, according to A&E. “It really tastes like melted ice cream,” one panel member said.

Organic Valley: Panel members liked the thick consistency, but most felt the nutmeg came on too strong and the taste was a bit chalky.

Roberts Eggnog: This came in a strong second to

MAKE YOUR OWN EGGNOG Making eggnog at home might be something of a lost art. The chore is easy, but the drink needs a lot of chill time in the refrigerator.

INGREDIENTS 12 eggs 1 ½ cups sugar 1 quart cream Vanilla (to taste) Dash of nutmeg

DIRECTIONS 1. Separate eggs at room temp. Beat yolks till creamed with about half of sugar. Beat whites until peaked then add other half of sugar. Beat cream until stiff. Then fold all together. Add vanilla to taste, but remember that a little bit of vanilla goes a long way.

2. Place into containers and keep in refrigerator for at least one day. Shake before serving.

Source: www.egg-nog.info

SPIKED EGGNOG This is a punch-bowl recipe for a party. The good news about this recipe is that it works well with inexpensive brandy, rum and creme de cacao.

AMBASSADOR’S PUNCH RECIPE INGREDIENTS BOB MODERSOHN/SPECIAL TO THE REGISTER

the A&E Classic. Tasters felt it had nice sweetness and an appealing tanginess. But there was an aftertaste that a couple panel members disliked and a sort of caramel flavor that didn’t work for everyone.

Bolthouse Farms – Holiday Nog: Here’s another product that would be a sensible option for anyone feeling compelled to serve healthy drinks. This nog has 60 percent fewer

calories, 80 percent less fat and 75 percent less cholesterol than regular eggnog, according to the producer. “It tastes more like liquid pumpkin than eggnog,” according to one panel member.

A&E Milk Nog: Thin and mild-tasting, this nog struck the panel as too light to be a real eggnog.

But no one thought the milk nog tasted terrible.

“It tastes more like a nice, sweet milk,” one panel member said.

1 quart chilled eggnog 5 ounces brandy 4 ounces dark rum 3 ounces dark creme de cacao 1 whole nutmeg

DIRECTIONS Whisk together the eggnog, brandy, rum and creme de cacao in a large punch bowl. Add a large block of ice. Grate a little nutmeg over the top of each drink when serving. Makes eight (6-ounce) punch cups.

December 2011 | fiftysomething 9

holidays West Side Story

her own right. $72-$82.

“Ring of Fire” March 30- April 22, Des Moines Community Playhouse The tribute to Johnny Cash features 30-some songs by the Man in Black, from “Folsom Prison Blues” to “A Boy Named Sue.” The musical opened on Broadway in 2006, a year after Hollywood released “Walk the Line.” $20-$35 for adults, with discounts for seniors and students.

For the bookworms

That’s just the ticket!

There’s a show or concert to please everyone on your gift list

BY MICHAEL MORAIN MMORAIN@DMREG.COM

Need some holiday gift ideas? We’ve got just the ticket.

We scoured central Iowa’s 2012 calendar for the best concerts and plays for everyone on your list, no matter if they were naughty or nice. (And who knows?

Maybe a show about nuns could nudge them in the right direction.)

These are just a sampling. Find more ideas, including gift certificates for tickets that go on sale later, with the venue information listed on the next page.

For the unruly “The Sound of Music” Through Dec. 30, Des Moines Community Playhouse Seven well-scrubbed Austrian kids and the world’s best governess head for the hills in the Rodgers

and Hammerstein classic musical made famous by the 1965 movie. $20-$35 for adults, with discounts for seniors and students.

“Doubt” Feb. 17, Stephens Auditorium, Ames The Montana Repertory Theater visits Ames for the Pulitzer-winning drama about a Catholic-school scandal in the 1960s. It’s the principal’s word against the priest’s, and neither backs down. $33-$37 for adults, $25 for students.

“The Divine Sister” June 15-24, Civic Center’s Stoner Theater StageWest produces a new spoof of Hollywood nuns, with irreverent nods to the wise wimpled women of “Doubt,” “The Bells of St. Mary’s,” “The Singing Nun” and more. $22-$25, with discounts for seniors and students.

10 fiftysomething | December 2011

For the rugrats “ImaginOcean” Jan. 15, Civic Center Puppeteer John Tartaglia (“Avenue Q”) floods the stage with glow-in-the-dark fish and deep-sea creatures for an adventure that starts with a treasure map and ends with a lesson on friendship. Expect some songs. And lots of bubbles.

The show opens the Civic Center’s Family Series, which also includes “Clifford the Big Red Dog, Live” (Feb. 25), “Music, Noise and Silence” with the Des Moines Symphony (April 21), the Golden Dragon Acrobats (May 19) and the swashbuckling “Zorro” (an optional add-on, also on May 19). Recommended for ages 4 to 10. $10 apiece or $32 for the series.

“Stuart Little” Feb. 17-March 4, Des Moines Community Playhouse

E.B. White’s story of a shy mouse skitters into the spotlight at the Playhouse children’s theater, followed by another book-based favorite, “The Musical Adventures of Flat Stanley” (May 4-20). $15 for adults, $12 for kids.

For the boot scooters The World’s Toughest Rodeo Jan. 13-14, Wells Fargo Arena The rough-and-tumble hullabaloo returns to town with bareback, saddle bronc and bull riding, with extra stunts mixed in for good measure. $20-$57.

George Strait, with Martina McBride Feb. 24, Wells Fargo Arena One of Nashville’s finest, with 58 number-one singles under his big ol’ belt, saunters to the arena stage with McBride, a legend in

“To Kill a Mockingbird” Jan. 20-Feb. 5, Des Moines Community Playhouse Adapted from Harper Lee’s widely read book, 6-year-old Scout Finch and her brother, Jem, see the tug-of-war between justice and racism in an Alabama town when their lawyer father defends a black man framed for a crime he didn’t commit. $20-$35 for adults, with discounts for seniors and students.

For the romantics “West Side Story” Feb. 7-12, Civic Center More than half a century after Romeo and Juliet’s love story switched to the streets of Manhattan, the revival elevates the Puerto Rican Sharks as equals to their white rivals. The new production is largely bilingual, thanks to guidance from the original librettist, Arthur Laurents. $20-$75.

“You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up” March 7-18, Temple for the Performing Arts Writer-actors Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn turned a memoir about their 13-year marriage into a 70-minute show, with funny and occasionally touching stories about the bumps along the way. They riff on romance, finances and

parenting as a competitive sport.

It’s part of the Civic Center’s three-show Temple Theater Series, with “Blind Date,” in which a Parisian temptress plucks a different man from the audience each night (Jan. 4-22), and “The Improvised Shakespeare Comedy,” an improvised play told in the style of olde Bill (May 9-20). $25-$34 for one show, or $70 for the series.

For the goofballs “Spamalot” Jan. 14, Stephens Auditorium Jan. 15, Gallagher-Bluedorn Performing Arts Center The Tony-winning musical adapted from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” returns to Iowa for a weekend of ribald merriment. There will be much rejoicing. $47-$51 for adults and $28 for students at Stephens, in Ames; $27-$52 for adults and $22-$52 for students at GBPAC, in Cedar Falls.

“Young Frankenstein” Jan. 15, North Iowa Area Community College Jan. 17, The Orpheum Jan. 22, Stephens Auditorium “Transylvania Mania” strikes Iowa again in Mel Brooks’ musical version of his Hollywood classic. $29-$42 at NIACC, in Mason City; $32-$54 at the Orpheum, in Sioux City; and $47-$51 for adults and $28 for students at Stephens, in Ames.

“The Queen of Bingo” Jan. 27-Feb. 12, Ames Community Theater The dinner-theater show dishes out laughs and a few lessons about sibling rivalry, widowhood, diet crazes and old friends — with a round of bingo during intermission. $35, subject to change.

Jeff Dunham March 11, Wells Fargo Arena The ventriloquist brings his suitcase of politically incorrect puppets to town on his new “Controlled Chaos” tour, two years after his visit to the Iowa State Fair. He was the first comedian to headline a Grandstand show in 30 years. $45.

“Billy Elliot” June 12-17, Civic Center The boy who accidentally stumbles from boxing to ballet in a blue-collar town leaps to the stage in the national tour’s highly anticipated visit to Des Moines.

The musical based on the Oscar-nominated movie earned four Tonys in 2006, including the award for Best Musical. $24-$70.

For the Sundayschool rockers

For the cultured (or curious)

Winter Jam Jan. 20, Wells Fargo Arena The 47-city powerhouse tour of Christian music features NewSong, Skillet, Sanctus Real, former Newsboys frontman Peter Furler, illusionist Brock Gill, speaker Nick Hall, and VeggieTales’ Bob (the tomato) and Larry (the cucumber). $10 at the door; no ticket required.

Poncho Sanchez April 7, Sheslow Auditorium The Civic Music Association hosts the MexicanAmerican conga player and his band for a night of Latin jazz. $15-$45 for adults, with discounts for students.

For the dancers (or wannabes) “Sleeping Beauty” Jan. 29, Stephens Auditorium, Ames After “The Nutcracker” clears out, the second of Tchaikovsky’s big three (with “Swan Lake”) springs to life with 50 touring members of the Moscow Festival Ballet. $34-$38 for adults, $25 for students.

“Moulin Rouge” March 31, Civic Center The Royal Winnipeg Ballet’s staging of the high-kicking French love story is part of the Civic Center’s three-show Dance Series, along with performances by Diavolo, founded

by Cirque du Soleil collaborator Jacques Heim (Feb. 18), and the stage-crafty innovators of Parsons Dance (April 19). $25-$45 per show or $105 for the series.

Kalichstein-LaredoRobinson Trio April 12, Des Moines Art Center The most famous piano-violin-cello trio you may have never heard about plays Tchaikovsky, Beethoven (their specialty) and Elaine Taaffe Zwilich (the first female composer to win a Pulitzer for music) for the highlight of the

museum’s On Stage chamber series. $34 for adults, $17 for students.

Des Moines Symphony May 12-13, Civic Center The home-team orchestra performs five more concerts this season, including a Motown tribute on New Year’s Eve, but the most heart-pounding program might be the season finale, with Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concert No. 3 and Bernstein’s Symphonic Dances from “West Side Story.” $15-$55 for adults, with discounts for students.

You don’t hhave to head h d southh ffor the h winter to enjoy an active, social lifestyle...

For the divas Des Moines Metro Opera June 22-July 15, Blank Performing Arts Center, Simpson College, Indianola Expect the company to go all out for its 40th season next summer in Indianola, with Mozart’s “Don Giovanni,” Puccini’s “La Rondine,” and its first foray into Russian, Tchaikovsky’s “Eugene Onegin.” Individual tickets go on sale in early April, but season subscriptions for all three shows are available now. $110-$245.

Come join us at The Lodge of Ashworth!

Venue information Ames Community Theater, (515) 232-2354, www.actorsinc.org Civic Center of Greater Des Moines, (800) 745-3000, www.civiccenter.org Des Moines Art Center, (515) 271-0343, www.desmoinesartcenter.org Des Moines Community Playhouse, (515) 277-6261, www.dmplayhouse.com Blank Performing Arts Center in Indianola, (515) 961-6221, www.desmoinesmetroopera.org Gallagher-Bluedorn Performing Arts Center in Cedar Falls, (877) 549-7469, www.gbpac.com North Iowa Area Community College in Mason City, (641) 422-4188, www.niacc.edu The Orpheum in Sioux City, www.orpheumlive.com Sheslow Auditorium, (515) 280-4020, www.civicmusic.org Stephens Auditorium in Ames, (515) 294-3347, www.center.iastate.edu Wells Fargo Arena, (866) 553-2457, www.iowaeventscenter.com

And the grandchildren will love to visit!

You’ll love it at The Lodge!

To schedule your tour or request information, contact us today.

515-224-4898

909 Ashworth Road, West Des Moines DM-9000312715

www.lodgeofashworth.com

December 2011 | fiftysomething 11

people

At home in the kitchen Deb Cazavilan of Ankeny returns to what she loves — teaching others about food

BY TOM PERRY TPERRY@DMREG.COM

D

eb Cazavilan visited Paris for the first time this past September.

Upon her return, when asked about the trip, she was always sure to mention macarons.

Most tourists come back from the City of Light talking about the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame Cathedral or some other attraction.

But Cazavilan zeroed in on macarons. Different from coconut-laced macaroons familiar to most Americans, French macarons (pronounced ma-ka-RHONS) are sweet, light confections commonly filled with buttercream or jam.

“My sister and I took a class on how to make macarons,” Cazavilan said, explaining she had always wanted to teach a class how to make French macarons.

“I make a pretty mean macaroon,” she said. “But macarons are very finicky and very tricky.

There are about 32 steps Deb Cazavilan, owner of Wooden Spoons Workshops and Cooking Classes in Ankeny, prepares ingredients as participants watch during one of her “epic sandwich” and breadbaking classes.

ANDREA MELENDEZ/THE REGISTER

12 fiftysomething | December 2011

“If you told me when I was young that I would enjoy teaching, I wouldn’t have believed you. I kind of hated school.”

DEB CAZAVILAN

Deb Cazavilan assembles a Vietnamese-style sandwich called a banh mi during one of her Wooden Spoons Workshops and Cooking Classes sessions. ANDREA MELENDEZ/THE REGISTER corporation, Cazavilan is back teaching again.

“I have found my life’s calling,” she said. “This is my happy place. But if you told me when I was young that I would enjoy teaching, I wouldn’t have believed you. I kind of hated school.”

As much as she disliked academics, she was always eager to learn about cooking. Her first teachers were her grandmother, mother and older sister. As a teenager, Cazavilan left her New York City area

home to work at Alice’s Restaurant in Great Barrington, Mass., which had been made famous by a 1967 Arlo

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to making great macarons.

So I am glad I got to take that class.”

It cost 125 euros, or about $170 for that threehour class in Paris, far more than the $75 fee per person for the classes that she taught in November at her Wooden Spoons Workshop and Cooking Classes in Ankeny.

“The class was very good and the chef spoke fluent English,” Cazavilan said last month. “But my classes will be more indepth.”

She has been teaching classes on how to make everything from cookies to pasta to pretzels for almost a decade in Ankeny. Scores of food enthusiasts enrolled in her classes at the Little Blue House and now, after taking time away from teaching to work in a food-related capacity for a

All Inclusive Assisted Living

December 2011 | fiftysomething 13

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people

Falafel cooks as the next sandwich is constructed during the workshop. ANDREA MELENDEZ/REGISTER PHOTOS Guthrie song, “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree,” and a subsequent 1969 movie.

“I was smitten by Arlo Guthrie and the music of the era,” Cazavilan said before telling the story of how she, as a 17-year-old, wrote to Alice Brock, the restaurant’s owner, asking if she could work there.

“Alice wrote me back and said that I could.”

Cazavilan got stuck “doing grunt work like shaving the beards off 100pound sacks of mussels,” she recalled, fondly pointing out that all these years later she is still in touch with Brock, who long ago closed Alice’s Restaurant.

Now 54 years old, Cazavilan has spent just about her entire adult life connected to some aspect of the food business. She and her husband, Bob Cazavilan, owned and operated Cappuccino’s in the 1990s next to the former Paramount Theatre in Ankeny before they opened the Little Blue House.

She closed the Little Blue House in June 2008 to work as baking and dessert coordinator for Palmer’s Deli.

“I was treated very well at Palmer’s, but after a while I realized it just wasn’t for me,” Cazavilan said, explaining that she

DM-9000308981

14 fiftysomething | December 2011

Tammy Gray of Ankeny gets ready to try a bite of a bahn mi sandwich during a session last month at Deb Cazavilan’s Wooden Spoons Workshops and Cooking Classes, 303 S.W. School St. in Ankeny.

left her corporate job after about a year to get back into teaching.

Her new digs for Wooden Spoons Workshop and Cooking Classes are at 303 S.W. School St. in Ankeny. The space was designed to be part kitchen laboratory for her to research recipes and part kitchen classroom, with comfortable seating at a 10-foot-long counter for up to a dozen students during workshops and lessons.

This month Cazavilan has 10 classes scheduled.

Most are sold out with names on waiting lists.

“It’s easy to understand why her classes are so popular,” said Jeanne Johnson of Ankeny. “She does just an awesome job.”

Johnson has been enrolling in about one class a month for the past few years, she said. Some

of her favorite classes have been pie-making and bread-baking classes. She is looking forward to February, when Cazavilan will teach a class on how to make croissants.

“In every class I have taken, I have always learned something, and I have been cooking for a long time,” said Johnson, who is in her 60s.

Cazavilan brings enthusiasm for talking about cooking and being around food to her classes, Johnson added.

“She does an incredible amount of research on everything,” Johnson said.

This is fun and easy work, as Cazavilan sees it.

“You know this is just something I truly enjoy because it seems to make people happy,” she said.

“And to me there’s almost nothing more rewarding than making people happy with good food.”

Deb Cazavilan slices up a completed bahn mi sandwich so it can be sampled by participants in a November session at her Wooden Spoons Workshops and Cooking Classes. ANDREA MELENDEZ/THE REGISTER

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December 2011 | fiftysomething 15

people

Guiding families in sorrow

Mary Kay Casey is the bereavement coordinator for Mercy Hospice – Johnston, a role she has held for five years. RODNEY WHITE/THE REGISTER

Des Moines woman helps families navigate their darkest hours at hospice

BY JENNIFER MILLER JENMILLE@DMREG.COM

16 fiftysomething | December 2011

M

ary Kay Casey has no wings or halo, but she does have a huge heart, a mischievous twinkle and, as the bereavement and volunteer coordinator at Mercy Hospice – Johnston, an angelic knack for guiding families of hospice

patients after the death of a loved one.

Casey, 64, has been a teacher of sorts most of her adult life, working as a middle school teacher, a community health educator and a staff trainer at Mercy Hospice during a different stint there. This position, she

says, is just another incarnation of teaching.

This is her fifth year in the job.

We asked her about her life, her philosophy and the work she does.

Q: How did you come to this profession? Surely people don’t say as

children, “When I grow up, I want to work with the families of the dying.”

A: I’ve always had a spiritual and philosophical bent. I joined the Sisters of Mercy when I was 17, and stayed for 13 years, and have worked in some sort

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“Hospice is about education — we have to teach each other how to grieve because society as a whole is not good at it.” of education field since. So it felt pretty natural to become a part of the Mercy outreach system again. And I learned about hospitality and compassion at my mom and dad’s knee. I was the oldest of 11 children, but they were still very active in the community.

Q: And this job in particular?

A: Before I took this job, I had been unemployed for a year and a half. Then this came along and it just was a really good fit for me and for this time in my life. It’s like all my skills that I’ve learned over the years have sort of come together — organizing, writing, listening.

Everything I’ve acquired over the years is put to use.

Q: What was it like being unemployed for so long?

A: It was the best time in my life. I looked for a job like crazy, but I also sat on the back porch and read poetry. I went to Mexico by myself.

Q: What are the nuts and bolts of what you do on a daily basis?

A: I manage support systems to help families learn to live with an absence and I assess our bereavement population for needs. When I see a need — for example, we had for awhile a younger population who were losing spouses — I create some way to deal with that need. I work with volunteers, do mailings and create and facilitate support groups and coffee groups and soup suppers.

We have an annual

memorial that I coordinate for family members, a remembrance where we speak the names of everyone who died the past year.

And we offer programs on grief education where the goal is to “normalize” grief. When people lose a loved one, they sometimes think they’re going crazy — like they find the remote in the freezer — so we try to put it in context.

The goal is for them to be able to live in a “new normal.” By the way, even though everyone uses that phrase, it originated in hospice literature.

Q: Is it hard to deal with all that sadness every day and not feel burdened by it? Are you sad when you go home at night?

A: Everyone needs balance. I get mine by understanding that their grief is not my grief. I’ve had my own grief — I’ve lost my parents and two brothers. I tell the volunteers that they need to cultivate a compassionate detachment; they cannot carry everyone else’s grief around with them.

After you interact with a grieving person, you should be able to walk away light, not heavy.

Q: What is the best part of your job?

A: Connecting with people, learning their stories,

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including the volunteers.

My volunteers make my job so easy. I love my volunteers.

Q: What is it about death, a natural and inevitable part of life, that is so hard for people to come to terms with?

A: Each person has a well of grief within them; a death opens the lid on that well and taps into all the other sadness we carry around with us every day.

I mean, compost happens, right? All that stuff is in there somewhere. And our modern culture does not deal with death well — we’re a death-defying culture. We don’t want to examine the death and dying experience; we’re very myopic.

Think about this as opposed to birth. For births we have coaches and parties and we can build a nest. There are all these resources for the beginning of life, but not at the end. Hospice is about education — we have to teach each other how to grieve because society as a whole is not good at it.

A: Any big redux or single nugget of advice for someone who is grieving?

Q: Befriend your grief.

Don’t run from it. Humans are naturally wired for grief and it does not typically suffocate us. We live through it.

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health

Saving your bones Tips for strengthening and preserving bone mass as you age

BY BETH HAVEY SPECIAL TO FIFTYSOMETHING

For both men and women, bone health is important but often taken for granted in the early years of life. Then as aging progresses, the statistics for bone breaks increase. Friends break a wrist, an ankle, a leg.

Everyone wants to avoid this; no one wants the local orthopedist or physical therapist on speed dial.

Preserving bone and preventing falls and their subsequent breaks is important for health. Strong dense bones insure good posture, physical strength for all work and activities, and good balance. A strong skeletal frame directly affects physical appearance. People with healthy bones feel and look more youthful. Physically and psychologically they are healthier; they can embrace life without fearing loss of balance, a bad fall and a debilitating bone break.

The key is to keep bones strong. We now know that throughout life a diet rich in calcium, calcium supplements, and vitamin D from sun exposure for calcium absorption are all extremely important. Avoiding the negative impacts of smoking and alcohol also preserves bone health. And today physicians better understand osteoporosis and how to stop or prevent its growth.

18 fiftysomething | December 2011

Osteoporosis, a disease of the bone, affects almost half of men or women over age 75, though women are five times more likely to develop the disease. Women have thinner and smaller bones to begin with and after menopause, usually around age 50, they lose bone mass as their bodies no longer produce estrogen, a bone-protecting hormone.

Bone is a living tissue that throughout life goes through the process of constant formation (new bone is formed) and resorption (old bone is broken down). But aging changes the process in both men and women. Not as much bone is formed as is lost. The skeleton slowly declines.

Osteoporosis literally means “porous bones”; the word describes bones that have lost an excessive amount of protein and mineral content — especially calcium. Bone mass and bone strength have decreased. Bone is now vulnerable to breaks.

Previously it was assumed that this bone aging process could not be stopped. Our mothers’ and grandmothers’ generation suffered height loss because of compression fractures in their vertebrae. These fractures often led to the formation of an abnormal kyphosis, or dowager hump, on the upper back. Debilitating hip and leg breaks often meant the end of life was spent in a wheelchair.

Now there is good news for women in their 50s — they have options to keep bones strong and avoid the bone loss of previous generations.

We know that calcium in the diet and weight-bearing exercise can help ward off osteoporosis. We have bone density scans to check for osteopenia — the early stage of osteoporosis. Health care providers recommend the right amount of calcium supplements and stress diets rich in calcium and other minerals.

For people who are at great risk for the disease or have rapidly advancing bone loss, providers often prescribe bisphosphonate medications like Boniva and Fosamax that can slow or stop the progression of osteoporosis.

Men also need to be aware of this disease because by the age of 65 or 70 they are losing bone at the same rate as women. Though osteoporosis is often considered a woman’s problem, there are 2 million men in the United States with this disease.

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new bone growth. Research confirms that any activity that puts increased stress on your bones, making your bones and muscles work against gravity (weight-bearing exercise) helps you build healthy bone. Choose from some of the following activities: » Walking, race walking, weight-vest walking, jogging or running » Aerobics, step aerobics » Cycling, if you can increase the resistance as some gym machines allow » Climbing stairs » Dancing, especially contra dancing, tap-dancing, polka and other folk dances that involve stomping and hopping » Sports such as soccer, basketball, tennis, volleyball and softball » Gymnastics » Weight lifting » Jumping rope » Martial arts » Tennis » Bowling » Yoga » Pilates » Housework and yard work, like cleaning, gardening and shoveling snow

Weight-bearing activity helps build healthy bone.

PHOTOS SPECIAL TO FIFTYSOMETHING

Paula Secker, an instructor of Anusara-

Inspired yoga, says that the weight of your own body is utilized to create this weight- bearing exercise. Bones are strengthened as muscles of the body pull, hug and shorten bones to achieve yoga poses, keeping bones strong. Secker mentions popular yoga poses like downward facing dog and plank for hip, arm and leg bone strengthening. All standing yoga poses work the legs, and armbalancing poses strengthen the upper body, which is often weak in women.

Secker emphasizes an additional benefit of yoga: it enlivens, opens and increases the energy of the body and body fluids like blood. Fluids enervate the entire body, working to increase the rate of bone cell production.

Loss of balance is a great concern as people age — leg muscles weaken and other systems like vision, nerves and body receptors don’t supply the right signals to the brain.

Secker recommends yoga for those who need to revitalize this skill, as many poses require balance, and repetition and mastery is just what the brain needs to reestablish stability.

Yoga also helps Secker’s students achieve body awareness and good posture as they age. Poses require constant realigning of the body, particularly how the head sits on the shoulders. This fights forward head posture, a sign of aging, which is often exacerbated by computer work and weak musculature.

Secker stresses that there is a relationship between proper

positioning of the head and the straightening of the torso and body core.

Aligning the head to center position automatically tones the core and torso. Practice this when driving, imagining a cosmic head rest holding your head upright and keeping your body straight. And make sure you add weightbearing activity to your schedule every day. For starters — take the stairs!

Beth Havey is a nurse and health educator. Read more of her articles on her blog, Boomer Highway, www.beth havey.wordpress.com.

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December 2011 | fiftysomething 19

fitness

Players rally to racquetball Boomer athletes enjoy this highly competitive, demanding game TEXT AND PHOTOS

BY BOB MODERSOHN A beautiful, youthful lady in her 60s gave Susan Acoymo wonderful advice years ago regarding racquetball.

“Don’t stop, racquetball keeps you young,” the woman advised.

“I don’t intend to stop,” Acoymo, 53, says.

It seems racquetball appeals to the over-50 set for three reasons: exercise, competition and camaraderie, players from the Ankeny YMCA agree.

There also are lessons to be learned in perseverance and character, says Acoymo, a longtime racquetball player, Iowa Games

A racquetball racquet. Prices range from $13 to $200.

20 fiftysomething | December 2011

commissioner, and coordinator of the sport for the Ankeny Y. “You learn a lot about people in the way they handle competition involving racquets and balls in a small confined space,” Acoymo says.

Mental, physical and social benefits are huge.

The level of camaraderie is amazing, the competition makes players better both on and off the court.

“There are so many times when you think you can’t get to the ball and you do,” Acoymo says.

“Since scoring typically involves games to 15 or 11 points, the match is never over until it actually is over, unlike sports that involve a clock. I have

been down 0-10 in a tiebreaker more than once and actually ended up winning the match.”

Playing racquetball doesn’t necessarily involve competitive league play. There’s plenty of opportunity for casual pick-up games.

Games can be singles, doubles or cut-throat matches, which involve three players competing against each other on one court.

Scott Faulkner, 61, a veterinarian (they call him “Doc”), and an Ankeny Y faithful who plays five to six times a week, hasn’t played in a league since winning his division in 1996.

“I know who can beat me and how badly, so I

Scott Faulkner (red shirt), Susan Acoymo and Mike Earp (orange cap) play cut-throat at the Ankeny YMCA. Cut-throat is designed to be played by three people.

rewards experience.

“I can’t even sort-of keep up with 20- and 30-year-olds on the basketball court anymore, but I can usually hold my own in the racquetball court,” Borchert says.

He enjoys playing the more athletic younger players and watching them run all over the court. Their superior athletic abilities versus his years of experience usually results in a good match.

“I know that as they keep improving, eventually I will not be able to keep up,” the 50-year-old Ankeny resident says, “but I intend to fight it for as long as possible.”

Where to play Where to find racquetball courts, groups who play the sport and league signups: » Riverfront (downtown Des Moines) YMCA, 101 Locust St., Des Moines, (515) 282-9622 » Ankeny YMCA, 1102 N. Ankeny Blvd, (515) 965-8800 » Waukee YMCA, 210 N. Warrior Lane, (515) 987-9996 » Oakmoor Racquet and Fitness Center, 4731 Merle Hay Road, Des Moines, (515) 270-2222 » Altoona Campus in Altoona, 1500 Eighth St. S.W., (515) 967-0788 » Camp Dodge Joint Maneuver Training Center Wellness Center, 7105 N.W. 70th Ave., Bldg PT-01, Johnston, (515) 252-4760 » Mercy Wellness Center, 1111 Sixth Ave., Des Moines, (515) 247-3066.

TIPS ON RACQUETBALL GEAR

Racquets vary from $13 to $65 at Walmart to more specialized models, $200. Shoes cost $50-$75 and up; balls are $4 for a can of three. People wear whatever they like.

And don’t forget protective eyewear, $10 and up.

Mike Earp serves as Scott Faulkner anticipates the action. don’t need to have it proved over and over,” he quips. “Mostly, I try to play doubles, since I can play for a couple of hours.

Singles wears me out in an hour, and is less social.”

Faulkner is part of a loose group of about 15 people who play on a regular basis at preset times most days of the week.

His best moment in the sport came when he learned to take a hit without complaining, he said, which he learned from fellow player Renae Lampkin.

“I used to dance around and fuss when someone really strong hit me with a ball,” Faulkner recalls.

“Then I saw her (Lampkin) get hit as hard as possible (by her partner) in a doubles tournament — and she just took a deep breath. I knew then that I had to ‘man up.’ ” Faulkner also likes that he can keep his skills up in this sport year-round, rather than “reacquiring

them as in tennis,” which he previously played outside. And not having to chase balls onto the other players’ court is another bonus.

Renae Lampkin, 52, of Pleasant Hill, also plays with Faulkner and the Ankeny Y crowd, and is a longtime tournament doubles partner of Acoymo. She has been playing racquetball for more than 30 years.

Along with exercise, competition and social benefits, “it’s a good stress reliever,” Lampkin says.

Mike Earp of Ankeny, also 52, who plays six to seven hours per week, one day of which is competitive league play, has found there is a better chance for injury in softball, flag football or basketball than in racquetball. And the workout is just as good as running on a treadmill, which he hates, he said.

“This is a sport that you can compete at way into your senior years, or until your joints give out,

whatever comes first,” Earp says. “It’s low impact, highly competitive and what a great release of energy and frustration — smacking a ball as hard as you can against a wall. …

You almost forget the fact that you are getting great exercise.”

Bryan Borchert, yet another 50-year-old member of the Ankeny racquetball set, has been playing this most-loved sport for three decades.

“I have tried running, lifting and various exercise machines, but those always seem like a chore,” Borchert says. He would force himself to do those forms of exercise.

But he plays racquetball because he loves it.

Through it, friendships have developed and lasted over years.

He believes that one of the reasons he and others in this group continue to play into their 50s, 60s and, hopefully, beyond is that racquetball is one of the few sports that

Scott Faulkner, Susan Acoymo and Mike Earp shake hands after a match at the Ankeny YMCA. December 2011 | fiftysomething 21

money

Dealing with short-term market volatility PROVIDED BY RBC WEALTH MANAGEMENT AND MARK ATKINSON

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ince 2008, we’ve become far too accustomed to a volatile stock market.

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downturn. In fact, a decline would probably be short term, as chaotic financial markets likely force political action to be taken more hastily. So, brace yourself for market drops, but don’t abandon a proven strategy of diversifying your investment dollars across a range of quality vehicles.

» Be prepared.

Understand that with political pressures and global concerns, decisions can be made halfway across the world that have a ripple effect in markets around the globe. This can cause, for example, market interest rates to rise across the board, leading to declines in bond and stock prices. Such a drop could well be sharp, but it doesn’t necessarily predict an extended

» Don’t make hasty decisions. Historically speaking, when short-term volatility occurs, it rarely lasts and markets have corrected themselves and still trend upward. So don’t rush into any investment decisions based on the most dismal scenario. The U.S. is still the world’s largest, most powerful economy.

» Look for opportunities.

The investing markets have recovered handsomely from countless adversities. In hindsight, we often recognize those times as opportunities in disguise.

While it may seem counter-intuitive, market declines may present a chance for investors seeking “deals” on securities that are trading for a comparatively lower price.

Remember, you’re investing for tomorrow’s goals. By staying calm and sticking with sound investment strategies proven to help you achieve long-term goals, you’ll be able to more smoothly ride the wave of market volatility.

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muddle through this process alone. Talk with your financial adviser regarding concerns and develop a plan for all market conditions.

For in-depth help with your investor concerns, consult a financial adviser.

In the meantime, remember these key points while you watch the markets:

This article is provided by Mark Atkinson, a financial adviser at RBC Wealth Management in Clive, and was prepared by or in cooperation with RBC Wealth Management.

Contact Atkinson at (515) 225-4521 or mark.g.atkin son@rbc.com.

The information included in this article is not intended to be used as the primary basis for making investment decisions nor should it be construed as a recommendation to buy or sell any specific security. RBC Wealth Management does not endorse this organization or publication.

Consult your investment professional for additional information and guidance.

RBC Wealth Management does not provide tax or legal advice.

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December 2011 | fiftysomething 23

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24 fiftysomething | December 2011