DFWChild December 2020

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INSIDE:

D E C E M B E R 2020

HOW TO START HOLIDAY TRADITIONS

MOM NEXT DOOR MARI HIDALGO KING

STORIES OF 2020 HOW NORTH TEXANS COPED IN A CHALLENGING YEAR

OUR SPECIAL NEEDS ISSUE

GREEN SCENE HOLIDAY LIGHTS

+

MAKE THE HOLIDAYS MORE THAN GIFTS



Shop for all the gifts on your list and enjoy your favorite traditions, including The Trains at NorthParkTM, festive holiday plantings and decor, live music, beautiful lights, and more. Visits with Santa Claus are going virtual, with a new and reimagined experience benefiting Children’s HealthSM. Holiday hours: Monday–Saturday, 10AM–9PM | Sunday, 12–6PM For more information, visit northparkcenter.com.


Your recovery is our game.

James Bothwell, M.D.; Steven Singleton, M.D.; Elizabeth Batterton, M.D.; Mark Wylie, M.D.; Carson Fairbanks, M.D.

Official sports medicine specialists of everyday athletes. Whether you’re a competitive athlete or weekend warrior, Texas Health Physicians Group delivers comprehensive sports medicine care. From sprains and strains to advanced surgical treatments, our fellowship trained orthopedic specialists can help you reach the top of your game, providing both surgical and non-surgical care. And, as always, we have protocols in place designed around your safety. To learn more, go to TexasHealth.org/THPG-Safe. Don’t let pain keep you sidelined, schedule a visit today.

Fort Worth Orthopedics Make an Appointment | 817-527-8691 Physicians employed by Texas Health Physicians Group practice independently and are not employees or agents of Texas Health Resources hospitals. © 2020


pages / D E C E M B E R

2020

CHILD + SPECIAL NEEDS

DEPARTMENTS NOTED 11 Happier Holidays

Establishing traditions for your family— and adapting them during COVID

REAL MOMS 15 Mom Next Door / Mari Hidalgo King

This Dallas mom talks about raising her son to be a good person, how fashion and arts fuel her, and the silver lining of 2020 18 Briefs / In Style Our Mom Next Door’s go-to picks for fashion, family adventure and inspiration

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ABOVE // Mari Hidalgo King talks about the “constant push-pull” of being a working mom.

FEATURE

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22 2020: In Their Own Words

The teacher, the COVID patients’ mom and more: North Texans share stories of this unprecedented year as told to Nicole Jordan

SPECIAL NEEDS ON THE COVER

33 Mom Next Door / Joanna Waller

This Keller mom, whose daughter has cystic fibrosis, talks about life’s lighter moments and her hope for the future

36 Briefs / Take Five

KING FAMILY: KORENA BOLDING SINNETT; TEACHER OF THE YEAR: DALLAS ISD

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Our Mom Next Door’s advice for getting outside—and finding peace within

Routines / Susan Hancock

How this Plano mom manages mornings, work and autism times two

Two cups of coffee aren’t enough for this CEO and Rockwall mama

INFLUENCER 29 Sleep Aid

Mid-pandemic, local nonprofit Bed Start continues its mission of making sure everyone has a place to rest

KID CULTURE 49 Season’s Meanings

Are your kids gift-obsessed? (Ours too.) Here’s how to have a holiday that’s less about things

PEOPLE + PLACES 63 Families of DFW / Janet St. James

The mother of three and former reporter shares how a breast cancer diagnosis has affected her life

66 Green Scene / Holiday Sparkle

Get mesmerized by the holiday lights at these DFW destinations

COLUMNS

6 Hello / Rounding the Bases

Easing seasonal stress for your kiddo with special needs

8 dfwchild.com / Off the Pages

A celebrated artist, another reason to go to the zoo, and a new program for young adults with ID

70 Confessions / Mom Truths Marshmallow fun and more relatable parenting moments

41 Take Note / Sensory-Sensitive Holidays Cover Kid: Emma, 4 Photography: Cindy James / Alyssa Pizer Management Art Direction/Styling: Heather Vance Devers

20 Routines / Heather Emmanuel Ormand

46 Take Note: In Brief

Closing in on 2021—with new wisdom and strength words Heather Vance Devers Find the best gifts for everyone on your list, and other seasonal resources

dfwchild.com / december 2020

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ABOVE // Heather Vance Devers in her home with her daughter, Betty, and son, Jude. Find us on Facebook

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Let us know what’s on your mind. editorial@dfwchild.com

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NOTE

W

rounding the bases

E’RE IN THE HOME STRETCH, folks. But just when we thought that this year couldn’t throw us any more curveballs, we watched 2020 get even more—well, 2020. Let’s take a moment to review: A pandemic that shut down our country for months, with cases continuing to grow? Check. Crisis homeschooling? Check. Add to that a pivotal presidential election with more votes than any other election in American history. Check, check. There was what seemed like an interminable lead up to election day, and then, as predicted, it didn’t end on Nov. 3. It felt to me like a Super Bowl that stretched on for days, or a World Series with 17 games instead of seven. When we finally had a presumptive president-elect, I was done. Over it. Totally wiped out. And now, even some time after the election has been called, I’m still drained. I don’t know if it’s all the up and down of emotions on election night and beyond, or just lingering fatigue from this crazy year. Probably both. Whatever your political views, I think something that we can all agree on is that our country needs to come together more than ever. When it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter if your candidate won or lost. It’s about whether we can work together on rebuilding our nation after COVID-19. This was a virus that did not discriminate. From the young to the old, from our president to the local small business, everyone felt the effects of coronavirus. In this month’s feature article, we asked several Dallas-Fort Worth residents to tell their 2020 stories. We spoke to an elementary school teacher; a mom with two children who tested positive; a small business owner who lost her income for months; a 14-year-old (yes, 14-year-old) who is working on discovering a cure; and the wife of an ER physician who co-founded a group to help frontline workers isolate when necessary. Each perspective gives us greater insight into what our community went through during an unprecedented year. As 2020 comes to an end, my wish is that we all take a minute to reflect on all we have overcome. Yes, it has been incredibly difficult. Many of us have felt immeasurable heartbreak and even lost loved ones. Still, this year didn’t break us. We may be bruised and exhausted, but we’re still standing. Let’s take that strength and wisdom into 2021 to make it our best year yet.

Wishing you happy holidays. Be well,

Heather Vance Devers 6

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

PHOTOGRAPHY BY KORENA BOLDING SINNETT

hello / E D I T O R ’ S


CHILD + SPECIAL NEEDS

PUBLISHER/ EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Joylyn Niebes

CREATIVE + CONTENT DIRECTOR Heather Vance Devers

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor

Alexis Patterson Calendar Editor

Elizabeth Smith Assistant Editor

Emily Yearwood

DIGITAL

Digital Editor

Sydney Blalock Ritchie Directory Editor

Lexy Davis

ART

Contributing Editorial Designer

Lesley Busby

Graphic Designer

Susan Horn

CREATIVE DIRECTOR AT LARGE Lauren Niebes

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Challenger School offers uniquely fun and academic classes for preschool to eighth grade students. Our students learn to think for themselves and to value independence. Legacy (PS–K) (469) 573-0077 6700 Communications Parkway, Plano Independence (PS–K) (469) 642-2000 Coming Soon 10145 Independence Parkway, Plano

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online / D F W C H I L D . C O M WORDS

SYDNEY BLALOCK RITCHIE

OFF THE PAGES

what’s in store this month on dfwchild.com

Find ideas for seasonal fun (such as the Gift of Lights) on our website.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, everyone! This year’s celebrations may be a little different, but the magic of the season is still there. Our website has everything you need to kick your December into high gear: the best spots for seasonal treats, roundups of Hanukkah festivities and other events, a podcast episode on navigating the holidays during COVID— those are just a few of the resources you’ll find on dfwchild.com. While you’re on our website, make sure to sign up for our emails. You’ll get great content delivered to your inbox every day. It’s our gift to you, all year long.

Great Hot Chocolate in Dallas-Fort Worth

We don’t know about you, but when the holiday season hits, we say it’s time for some solid hot chocolate. Check out our favorite places around the Metroplex to get a cup of cocoa.

How to Celebrate Other Holiday Traditions

Santa got his start with our music lessons! Drums • Acoustic and Electric Guitar Piano • Ukulele • Violin • Voice

Virtual & In-Person lessons

214-369-7772 | grayschoolofmusic.com 11661 Preston, Suite 136 | Dallas, TX 75230 SW Corner of Preston & Forest 8

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

©

Ads with © are © of Lauren Publications, Inc. 2020.

All instructors have earned graduate degrees in music

Battling Seasonal Depression

If you’re feeling down amidst the lights and the shopping and the holiday wishes, you’re not alone. It could be seasonal depression. We talked to a professional counselor about how to handle it.

LIGHTS: GIFT OF LIGHTS; ALL OTHER IMAGES: ©ISTOCK ©I

Want to introduce your kiddos to other cultures’ holiday traditions? That’s a great way to expand their hearts and minds, but you want to celebrate respectfully. Find out how.


december 2020 / dfwchild.com

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COULD IT BE HUNTER SYNDROME?

¿PODRÍA SER EL SÍNDROME DE HUNTER?

Talk to your doctor about this progressive, genetic disease,1,2 or learn more at:

Hable con su médico acerca de esta enfermedad genética, progresiva,1,2 o conozca más en:

hunterpatients.com

hunterpatients.com/es

Recurrent Ear Infections1

Infecciones recurrentes en los oídos1 Hernia abdominal1

Abdominal Hernia1 Enlarged Tonsils/Adenoids1

Amígdalas/ adenoides agrandadas1

Joint Stiffness1 1. Wraith JE et al. Genet Med 2008; 10(7): 508-516 2. Keilmann A et al. J Inherit Metab Dis 2012; 35(2): 343-353 Copyright ©2019 Takeda Pharmaceutical Company Limited, Lexington, MA 02421. All rights reserved. 1-800-828-2088. TAKEDA and the TAKEDA logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of Takeda Pharmaceutical Company Limited. S46480 04/19

Rigidez en las articulaciones1

7.25" Aiden, 3

Give Now. Enjoy Later. Choose When Your Zoo Membership Starts Find holiday magic all year long when you gift a membership to the #1 zoo in the U.S.A. Outdoor exploration and endless adventure make for an oh-what-fun gift for everyone! Membership includes yearlong access to the Fort Worth Zoo, plus added perks like free parking, discounted events and programs and a nine-month activation period when purchased this holiday season. Now that’s a gift that keeps on giving!

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HAPPIER HOLIDAYS find traditions & keep them alive WORDS

ALEXIS PATTERSON

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HE MENU FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER is always the same at Jessica Schmulen Williams’ house. No, the Colleyville mom doesn’t serve up ham, turkey or roast beef; she skips the fruitcake. “We have perogies, rice and beans, and flan,” Schmulen Williams says. “They don’t make sense together, but it’s special to us. My husband’s family is Polish, so that’s where the perogies come from. And the rice and beans and flan are because I’m Puerto Rican.” The unique meal came about after Schmulen Williams and husband Daryl, along with their respective children, blended their households. Traditions are very important to them, a way of solidifying their identity as a family of five and giving the kids continuity even as they go back and forth between parents. “The day after Thanksgiving, we put up the Christmas tree—always,” Schmulen Williams dfwchild.com / december 2020

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noted / H A P P I E R

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H O L I DAYS

shares. “And the Elf on a Shelf shows up that day. We also watch Elf and drink eggnog.” If you’re searching for your own traditions, and eager to get your family excited to celebrate together, don’t despair. We’re here to help make the season merrier and brighter— even during COVID. A TRADITION FOR EVERY FAMILY Erin Zopolsky—a Dallas mom who agreed to raise her children Jewish and then converted herself—started introducing Jay, now 10, and Hattie, 7, to their family’s holiday traditions when they were babies. “My extended family celebrates Christmas, so we enjoy the secular parts of Christmas like the decorations, songs and Santa,” she explains. “But we focus mostly on Hanukkah in regard to its significance and history.” Zopolsky and her husband made sure Jay and Hattie began to understand religious traditions and their meaning as early as possible, enrolling them in preschool at the Temple Emanu-El Early Childhood Education Center. “Now, both of our children enjoy displaying and lighting the candles on their own menorahs,” says Zopolsky. It’s probably easiest to establish annual customs when kids are little. Hanukkah celebrations have always been part of Jay and Hattie’s lives. Fort Worth mom Lauren Aves is also getting her traditions going for 8-month-old son Liam’s first Christmas. “I can’t wait to buy presents earlier this year, put the tree up earlier and decorate more of the house than we have in years past,” Aves notes. As the owner of Aves Photography, she’s naturally also looking forward to annual family pictures (in matching holiday PJs). There are certain traditions that are great to start when your child is newly born. If you set up a Christmas tree, you could select an ornament to represent each year of your child’s life: a rattle for their first holiday, perhaps, and a train ornament when they enter the Thomas the Tank Engine phase. I tied a big red bow around my son in his first holiday photos; every year since, I have snapped a photo of him with that bow. If your children are older, it’s not too late to find a signature celebration. With older ones, try getting some input about what would make the holidays special for them. “Letting

my kids decide how they want to celebrate usually leads to more buy-in on their part,” says Zopolsky. You could suggest a family hot chocolate night, making gingerbread houses or getting each child a small tree to decorate. They may enjoy eating chocolate gelt (candy coins associated with Hanukkah) or donning traditional African garb to commemorate Kwanzaa. They might even come up with an idea all their own. Older kids can also begin appreciating the idea of giving back. They could clean out their toy boxes every December and choose items to donate before new presents roll in. Your family may decide to volunteer together or choose a North Texan in need from the Salvation Army Angel Tree. In addition, you can introduce your kiddos to something you enjoyed from your childhood: an old holiday movie, a recipe your grandmother made and so on. “When my husband Will and I were younger, each of our families made a special Christmas breakfast every year, so I’m sure we will do that with our son, too,” says Aves. “And we will let him open one special gift on Christmas Eve and read him the Christmas story out of the Bible that night as well.” There are endless ways your family can mark the holidays—and consistency is key. But it’s not only about consistency in those seasonal activities. “You can’t announce on the holidays that you want significant family time and think that the kids will just happily set down their phones and tablets, if they’re used to doing their own thing,” points out Schmulen Williams. “You have to train them to expect the togetherness and have fun with it.” When she and her husband tied the knot, they established weekly game nights, movie nights and dessert nights, and required the children to use their devices only on the house’s first floor while enjoying each other’s company. “By the time the holidays rolled around, they expected family time,” Schmulen Williams explains.

“YOU HAVE TO TRAIN THEM TO EXPECT THE TOGETHERNESS AND HAVE FUN WITH IT.”

A VERY VIRTUAL HOLIDAY While togetherness at home is easy to preserve during this unusual year, the challenges of a pandemic are changing the way many of us will spend the holidays. For a number of families, air travel is out. Schmulen Williams’


mother and mother-in-law won’t fly in; they’ll instead FaceTime with Schmulen Williams as the grandkids open presents sent in advance. Meeting Santa will look different this year, too. A visit to the big guy is one of the most time-honored holiday traditions, and I love hanging each year’s pictures side by side to see how my son has grown and changed (from sleeping through the very first visit to apprehension in later years to, finally, a happy grin with Santa). There most likely won’t be a regular onSanta’s-lap photo for 2020. Some malls are setting up plexiglass barriers for a no-touch visit and photo op, while other Santas will talk to kids virtually. The pandemic inspired a set of husband-and-wife entrepreneurs to create a service called JingleRing, allowing Santa and Mrs. Claus to connect with your kid via video call from the “North Pole.” “We think there will always be a place for in-person Santa visits, but for a lot of families and portrayal artists—Santa and Mrs. Claus—it’s a wonderful new way to experience the spirit of Santa,” says Walt Geer, one of JingleRing’s founders. “The family gets a dedicated time slot, spends more time with Santa or Mrs. Claus, and gets to personalize the experience.” Parents who set up a JingleRing call can select their Santa’s ethnicity and faith, while providing information on their kids’ names, ages and wish list. Grandparents and other relatives can join in; the session is recorded as a keepsake, and free pictures taken during the virtual session can be shared. If you ask me, that sounds just as good or maybe even better than waiting in a line and meeting a Santa who doesn’t get advance intel on your child. Perhaps a new tradition is born. (You can get more information on JingleRing at jinglering.com; some local Santas are offering video calls as well.) Of course, plenty of holiday favorites can be enjoyed without sacrificing social distancing. You can look at light displays from your car. As drive-in movies make a comeback, you’ll no doubt be able to watch holiday favorites such as The Santa Clause and Die Hard (yes, that’s a Christmas movie) without leaving your vehicle. The ugly holiday sweater contest can happen over Zoom. However you mark this season, those celebrations seem more important than ever. “The kids are missing their friends and their grandmothers and their normalcy in 2020,” says Schmulen Williams. “So traditions are bringing some of the normalcy back.” Above all, don’t let the constraints of the pandemic dampen the joy of the season. “We’re learning to be flexible and make the most of things,” says Zopolsky. “Maybe this is the year to perfect a latke recipe!” dfwchild.com / december 2020

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real moms. RÉSUMÉ HAILS FROM Dallas LIVES IN Oak Cliff ALMA MATER Texas A&M University and Parsons School of Design CURRENT OCCUPATION Visual Director at Neighborhood Goods FORMER OCCUPATION Fashion Stylist DREAM JOB AS A CHILD A singer SIGNIFICANT OTHER Joshua King, Co-Founder and Executive Director of AURORA, a multifaceted arts platform OFFSPRING Javier, 4

Mari Hidalgo King and husband Joshua are raising their son Javier to value his Puerto Rican heritage.

WARDROBE: NOUN PROJECT

mom next door /

MARI HIDALGO KING mama with a vision WORDS

HEATHER VANCE DEVERS

PHOTOGRAPHY

KORENA BOLDING SINNETT

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ANY OF US HAVE PRETTY SPECIFIC DREAMS for our kiddos. Yes, we ultimately want them to be happy—still, maybe we really want them to attend this school, go into this career field and so on. Mari Hidalgo King also has a clear vision for her son’s future, but it’s about life’s basic virtues. The rest is up to him. “Being a parent, it’s about what you think a good person should be,” the Oak Cliff mom reflects. “It’s a constant instruction, making sure you build a really wonderful human for the sake of themselves and everybody around them.” King also values imagination and creativity. She and husband Joshua are in creative professions—she is visual director of Neighborhood Goods, a store with locations in Plano, Austin and New York, while he co-founded a Dallas-based arts platform—so they’re especially suited to fostering that sensibility in 4-year-old Javier. It’s all about helping him find his own voice and path in a world where uniformity often reigns. dfwchild.com / december 2020

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real moms

/ MOM NEXT DOOR

Creativity seems to permeate your life and personality. What were some of your earliest memories of exercising creativity and playing imaginatively? We grew up in the Barbie era, right? So, I remember one weekend my mom was out of town. My father was watching me. We both enjoyed the silence in the house, and we just sat doing our own things all day. I chose to just play with dolls and a dollhouse all day. Then it was dinner time, and I couldn’t stand up because my legs were numb. I didn’t even use the restroom that day. I didn’t do anything. My father’s a doctor, and he just panicked. He was like, “What is wrong?” He scooped me up, rushed me to the hospital, got X-rays. And then slowly but surely, of course, my legs started working again. They just needed to move. I love to sit and play and use my imagination. I grew up just making videos with friends and having our own pageants. Imaginative play started really early for me. Tell us about your experience working in the fashion industry in New York and why you decided to leave. I interned with Proenza Schouler. I worked with Donna Karan Collection as assistant to the senior director of sales. Then I worked with a startup downtown New York designer for two and some years. After that I was freelancing, and they were renovating our apartment in Brooklyn, so we had to move. I was down [in Dallas] for a holiday and started getting styling work, because I posted that I was in Dallas on Model Mayhem. A photographer reached out for the cover of a magazine shoot. I jumped on it and then found an agency down here and it just felt good. It felt like I’d still be doing creative work. What has kept you in Dallas? Truthfully, the art community and the Cedars [neighborhood] and the photo industry—it just was so much fun, honestly, and it was so dynamic that there was no need or want for more. I felt really full. I have my house in Oak Cliff. I have my studio in the back, and I was working on my own clothing line. It sort of checked all the boxes, unbeknownst to me. And then a really great friend turned into my life partner. How did you meet Josh? We actually met on set. He was a photo assistant to a great photographer, Cindy James, and I was a stylist. So we were working together on jobs.

How do you and Josh foster creativity in your son, Javier? Since he’s so young, what we’re trying to do is with any little moment, let it be creative. Josh will just work right alongside him. If we have the tool over here that we’re using, we’ll give him the same tools to use over there. Javi has his own notebooks and his own paper, and then we’ll be doing our creative exercise and he’ll be doing his. Or he might come and join our paper. Joshua has a beautiful piece that’s like “father and son.” [It’s from] very early on; Javi is doodling on his work. I was wanting to do some ceramics, so I bought some clay. I’m very tactile and was just trying to have him just use his hands. We cook a lot together. So that’s a lot of creative play for us. One of the big rules I like is letting them get dirty and letting them just enjoy being dirty in a creative manner and in a free manner, and having him hear his own voice. I think that’s the nexus of creativity—being able to hear your own voice and follow that path. We’ve been doing a lot of Montessori, and I love that method. How did you make the transition from fashion stylist to visual director? I worked [in a freelance capacity] for Neighborhood Goods to open their first store in Legacy West. I was brought in by my good friend, Marisa Dukowitz, who is a brilliant designer and store spatial designer. They ended up smartly hiring Marisa, and then she needed a visual store component and reached out to me for that. I’ve always styled a lot of interiors, and the past two or three years of my 12+ years styling, it’s been a big portion of my work. I think having that experience in all those different shapes and forms and different products and different uses, the hope is that I can inform this space with that skillset. What I love about Neighborhood Goods is the openness to experimentation in terms of not having the norms. It’s a ton of work, but it’s really invigorating. I love my “mind views” and play and all the future planning and quick solving and all the different materials I work with and need to know. It was a fortunate turn of events that began last May [2019]. It seems like a natural transition. It was really a nice fit. I’m thankful for it. And I’m excited to see what we can continue to learn, how we can evolve, what we can push ourselves [toward] in the market to re-experiencing retail. And truly,

Harwood

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“I THINK THAT’S THE NEXUS OF CREATIVITY— BEING ABLE TO HEAR YOUR OWN VOICE AND FOLLOW THAT PATH.”

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because I really love our brands—our products are a lot of small companies that really have worked hard to create a smart, thoughtful, responsible product and at a very competitive price point—we don’t really want to make it exclusive, but we do want to make it feel elevated. What had it been like to be part of a retail business during COVID-19? A lot of work. It is reactive, which makes for a lot of short timetables. And you just have to stay limber. What I like is that we’re all hypersensitive to safety, and our stores are really spacious and we like to keep it clean. We’ve always tried to follow a model where it’s not super cluttered. It is shoppable. So all those things lend well to this moment. Your Puerto Rican ancestry is very important to you. What are some of the ways that you teach Javier about his heritage? Being Puerto Rican, we speak a lot of our language, experiencing heritage through words and also through food and music. Music is big in our house. And it’s not just kids music, it’s Latin music I love. We have drums, congas and djembes. So I just try to make sure that he has a little bit of rhythm. What was cool is our homeschool teacher—in Hispanic Heritage Month, she spoke of Sonia Sotomayor and she spoke of [the artist] Basquiat, who are Puerto Ricaños. And so when we were somewhere and I saw the flag, I [would say to Javier], “Hey, that’s the Puerto Rican flag, and that’s what you are, and that’s what Sonia Sotomayor is, and that’s what Basquiat is.” So we’re trying to build that little web. And abuelo and abuela are his grandparents. They are amazing at speaking Spanish constantly to him. Was it important for you to raise your son around his grandparents? Yeah, very much. My father is his pediatrician, so they’re going to be around each other that way too. They’ve always wanted to have that extra time with the grandkids. They’ve always really valued it, and that’s taught me that it’s valuable. When I was in New York, my brother had his first child, and I got on a flight within three hours with no luggage because I was like, My brother just had his first. What am I doing in New York? This is not where I need to be right now. And when I turned 25 and was in New York, working in high-end fashion, I thought, Well, I don’t know if I’m ever going to have kids, but I do know I have two amazing parents who have given me a lot of opportunity. So I wanted to start in something that I am able to save and able to work towards if they ever need help. After you had Javier, did you ever struggle with the idea of going back to work, or did you always know that you wanted to be a working mom? It was always in my brain that I wanted to work. I enjoy working very much. But it’s just that constant push-pull. I feel like I’m a better mom because I work, but I absolutely miss moments. Then there’s the silver lining of this moment of the pandemic. I feel like I get to know my son so much more, even though four days out of the week, he has care. It still makes all of us better. We’re homeschooling; we “podded” with another family. We had to write our own contract, figure it all out with another family, and essentially dedicate nearly two months to a bunch of interviews and a lot of time to it. But that reinvention and that pivoting—it feels really good. And it’s a dance for sure; it’s tricky, but it was before too. That’s true. It wasn’t an easy balance before; it’s just a different type of hard. I’m going to quote my accountant, Rachel Stas. She said that everything is the same, but you just have to cut through an ambient anxiety right now that makes it all just a little bit harder. So yeah, it’s all operating differently. But thankfully, our store’s doing well. People are happy. We’re keeping people safe. Everyone has a nice awareness about it. I think everyone is getting in step, but we’ll see. Every moment, every day, just try to do your best. And then the rest will figure itself out. What is the most important lesson that you want impart on Javier? I would say being able to listen to his inner voice, and to make sure that that inner voice is kind and compassionate and thoughtful about others. I also want him to be assured in his own vision. I think it’s like, “Go, honey—I want you to go as fast as you can, as hard as you want, but you always have to be mindful of others.” I want him to have respect, manners, and to hopefully better the world in some way. dfwchild.com / december 2020

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BRIEFS

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IN STYLE

FAVO R ITE R E S TAU R A NT

mari hidalgo king’s fashionable faves INTERVIEW

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DESIGNERS OF CH O I CE

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HEATHER VANCE DEVERS

DA LL A S’ H I D D E N G E M

g “AURORA Area 3, the drive-thru parking garage art exhibition that opened in October in downtown Dallas. Area 3 has a special place in my heart because of my deep love for AURORA, having worked the event for over a decade. I’m really proud of the team, especially my husband, for pivoting so well to bring this much-needed injection of art to Dallas during the pandemic. I highly recommend families, masked friends and even company holiday parties take advantage of this transporting new media exhibition. And you can feel good that you did because the financial model is structured to split proceeds between artists, vendors and AURORA.” AURORA AREA

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3 // 1600 Commerce St., Dallas; area3.site (Open through Jan. 1)

EL JORDAN CAFÉ IS A MEXICAN DINER WITH THE BEST BREAKFAST TACOS AND COMFORT HOME-COOKING THAT NEVER DISAPPOINTS. I LOVE ALL THE WAYS I CAN GET MY EGG-FIX HERE, AND THE SERVICE IS FAMILYORIENTED. HAVING EATEN THERE FOR OVER A DECADE, WE CONSIDER THEM FAMILY AS WELL!

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real moms /

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COMME DES GARÇONS IS BY AND LARGE MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE. THEN IF YOU COME DOWN JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE TO REALITY, THERE’S AN AUSTRALIAN DESIGNER THAT I REALLY ENJOY—HER NAME IS KAREN WALKER.

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B E AUT Y S ECR E T S g “I’m trying new products at Neighborhood Goods. I am loving a local favorite called Colleen Rothschild. She has this No. 9 Face Oil, which is transformative. I’ve had it for a couple of weeks and I’m just really in awe. I also have a cream face wash that I have used for six years; I got it on our honeymoon in Germany. It’s Primavera’s Revitalizing

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“On a drive. We have ‘Ms. Cushy,’ our ’06 Land Cruiser that we just bought from a family in Lubbock. Low miles. So we are going to go offroading and try to find a little nature—random nature.”

“Traveling really helps. I like walking busy metropolitan streets in other countries just to see how they’re living.”

Cream Cleanser.”COLLEEN ROTHSCHILD FACE OIL N°9 // neighborhoodgoods.com

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/ ROUTINES

a tuesday in the life of

HEATHER EMMANUEL ORMAND Heather Emmanuel Ormand is CEO of Nexus Recovery Center—a women’s addiction treatment facility in East Dallas. She’s an inspiration to those she serves, in recovery herself for nearly a decade. Ormand and husband Jason—a stayat-home dad taking real estate appraisal classes— live in Rockwall with their children Hannah, 4, and Levi, 18 months. Their dog Gatsby rounds out the family.

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AM Jason and I are up. We chug a cup of coffee each, then Jason leaves to walk Gatsby, our elderly Wheaten terrier. Meanwhile, I spend some quiet time showering and getting ready for

the day. 7:15AM Time to wake up Hannah and Levi, right after chugging our second cups of coffee. Hannah is notoriously slow to wake up and loves to spend time cuddling with Mommy while she does so. She’s a beast to get dressed in the morning. Since she was 2, Hannah has resisted the uniform she wears to her Montessori school—khaki jumpers or pants. At least 15 minutes are spent choosing some sort of flashy leggings to wear under her “boring” jumper to reflect her personal style. Also, Hannah has beautiful, naturally curly hair, so I have to spend time detangling it. We accessorize with a headband or quickly do a braid. 7:30AM Levi wakes up happy. The first words out of his mouth are usually either “car” or “ball.”

He’s ready to play the minute his little feet hit the floor! Both kids eat breakfast, typically yogurt and cinnamon rolls. We get Levi dressed and they are all out the door. Jason takes the kids to their school, less than a mile away, while I head off to work for the day. Everyone is out of the house by 8am—on a good day! 8AM My commute is only 25 minutes long and it’s spent either talking on the phone to my mom or girlfriends or listening to a podcast. I’m currently listening to Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead podcast on Spotify. I worship at the altar of Brené. If she told me to step into traffic because I’d be a better human as a result, I’d do it immediately. She’s my north star when it comes to showing up for those I love, and she helps me lead in a brave way. 8:30AM I have the best time walking into work because I get to pass our clients, say good morning and tell them to have a great day. I also run into a lot of staff members and get to strike up quick conversations. I am often late for whatever is on my calendar first thing for the day because of it—but I love these interactions, so it’s worth it. 9AM The workday is mostly filled with Zoom meetings, phone calls and strategizing on how we make the company even better. I recently shifted my desk to face my door, which is almost always open. I try as best I can to catch people in the hall and say hi. Relationships with our staff are so important to me while I’m still building trust and accountability with them. I’ve only been with the company since the summer, so it’s a work in progress. On my best days, I’m able to walk around the center’s main campus and learn about any treatment modalities or programs that I haven’t dug into yet. I get to witness clients interacting with one another and their counselors. I usually get stopped several times to talk through questions or maintenance issues that pop up daily on the aging campus. I love that people are comfortable coming to me and trust that I’ll do my best to fix whatever it is that’s concerning them. 4:30PM I try to plan out the next day before I head home at 5pm. 5PM My drive home is also spent on phone calls, but these are usually finishing up things from the day at Nexus. I made a commitment to Jason before accepting the role that I would do my best to be home and present as many nights as possible and leave work at work. It’s an ongoing process, but it’s worth it for my family. 6PM I’m home! The kids and I usually play outside for half an hour (weather permitting) while Jason finishes cooking dinner. Today we settle for the playroom and head upstairs. 6:30PM Dinner is served. 7:30PM Bath and bedtime is my favorite time with the kids. Levi is still small enough that he enjoys being rocked and read to before bed. I get to hold him, read Goodnight Moon for the

Diaries are penned by moms (and dads) in the North Texas area. The authors volunteer to share a day of their choosing and are not paid or endorsed by DFWChild. Send your diary to editorial@dfwchild.com. All submissions are subject to editing and may be cut for space. 20

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

ORMAND FAMILY: NATALIE BARRETT

real moms


the fine

print

CAFÉ ROSE: TOM FORD; PARIS: ©ISTOCK

WHAT SHE’S WATCHING Ted Lasso on Apple TV+ (because Brené Brown said to, and it’s amazing) FAVORITE INDULGENCE Any and all skincare products. Currently loving Naturopathica. FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH Jordan Knight from New Kids on the Block FAVORITE DATE NIGHT SPOT Alamo Drafthouse (I’m missing movies!) GUARANTEED TO MAKE HER LAUGH My husband GUARANTEED TO MAKE HER CRY My husband BEVERAGE OF CHOICE Coffee, coffee and more coffee GO-TO RECIPE Jason does the cooking, and I love him for it. FAVORITE APP My calendar app FAVORITE PODCAST It’s a tie between Dare to Lead and Armchair Experts BEAUTY PRODUCT SHE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT Grand Lash Serum FAVORITE SCENT Tom Ford Café Rose BEST PURCHASE EVER Hatch sound machine for better sleep NO. 1 ITEM ON HER BUCKET LIST To take Hannah to Paris WORDS SHE LIVES BY Not my pig, not my farm.

10,000th time and put him down to sleep. Hannah likes to read to us versus the other way around. At 4 years old, she’s not quite able to read storybooks but has a very active imagination. Her “reading to us” is just her coming up with stories to match the pictures in her favorite books. Ideally, both kids are asleep by 8:30pm. 8:30PM Jason and I clean the kitchen together. One of us will walk the dog before bed, and then it’s lights out pretty early. Everything in our family is a team effort—it’s just how we roll. We try to end the day by talking about three things we’re both grateful for. It makes falling asleep that much better. dfwchild.com / december 2020

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In Their Own Words

From a mother whose sons contracted COVID-19 to Texas’ Teacher of the Year, North Texans reflect on a year unlike any other AS TOLD TO NICOLE JORDAN

as there ever a year more unexpected than this one? Everything we anticipated when we rang in 2020, all our plans for activities, travel, work, school—most of that didn’t come to pass. The pandemic affected each of us in different ways. From the stress to the sadness to the blessings, we all have a story to tell. As 2020 draws to an end, we asked members of the community to share their experiences.

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Catherine Carlton, an Arlington mom, worked hard to protect her family from the virus. But earlier this year, two of her three children—Scott, 11, Jeffrey, 9, and Jennifer, 6—tested positive for COVID-19.

When we first heard about COVID, we really hunkered down. At about 8 weeks old, our son Scotty was diagnosed with lissencephaly, which translates to “smooth brain.” His needs are like that of a 3-month-old. He needs help with everything. For him, a cold can last weeks and the flu involves the hospital. We thought COVID would be a death sentence. We still don’t know how he got it. It was a Monday in July when he began to get sick. It was a different kind of sick for him. It was like his organs started to shut down. He ended up staying at Cook Children’s for four days. It’s tough in the COVID unit because you can’t leave the room and visitors aren’t allowed, but we knew he was getting the best care. My husband Jeff stayed at the hospital, and I stayed home with the other kids. We immediately got tested, which confirmed that Jeffrey was also positive. Thankfully, he only had symptoms for a few days. Of course, because we had COVID in the house, we had to quarantine for 24 days. Jeffrey wore a mask at all times and stayed at a 6-foot distance. He understood the importance of protecting us, and I’m so proud of him for how he handled it. We have an amazing network of friends and family who sent cards and delivered meals. We felt connected to the people we know and love, even though we couldn’t see them. We’re thankful for the support we had during that time. And we’re very thankful that Scotty got better. We couldn’t believe it when he was released. We’re hopeful that sharing our story highlights the importance of how scary [COVID-19] is and how children can get it. Other families are facing what we faced every day, and we know it’s hard. The really scary part is, we still don’t know the long-term effects. Scotty is back to baseline for him. Jeffrey 24

has lingering headaches, which are attributed to COVID. We have to stay vigilant. Our kids are in virtual school and I go to work, but we have safety protocols in place. We limit our social interactions and keep outings to the essentials. There have been silver linings, though. We’ve created some new traditions. The kids have become avid readers, so that’s wonderful. And my husband and I go for long walks in the morning and debrief at the end of the day over a carton of ice cream, which is fun.

Getting Back To Business

Dominique Anderson is a Fort Worth mother of two and the owner of a small business heavily impacted by the pandemic.

I’ve been providing commercial video and photography services for 13 years. Last year was the biggest year ever for my business, Blissful Sky Studio. My numbers were awesome, and I was booking dream clients. When coronavirus hit in

March, I was on vacation with my family. Clients started sending cancellations and none were rebooking. Many were scrambling. The last thing they wanted to think about was their marketing videos. My husband is also a business owner. But he works in commercial heating, air conditioning and refrigeration, so he didn’t see the drastic drop in business I saw. My daughters—Cheyenne, 11, and Dakota, 8—attend Fort Worth ISD. We were just waiting to see what was going to happen. Are we going to be off school? Are we going back

“There have been silver linings [to all that’s happened] ... We’ve created some new traditions. The kids have become avid readers, so that’s wonderful.”

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

THE CARLTONS // Two children in this Arlington family tested positive for COVID-19.

ALL ILLUSTRATIONS: ©ISTOCK

Living Under Quarantine


CARLTON FAMILY:COURTESY OF CATHERINE CARLTON; ANDERSON FAMIY: COURTESY OF DOMINIQUE ANDERSON

to school? Are we going to be doing school online? I kept thinking things would get better. I thought people were blowing it out of proportion and it would be over in a few weeks. Weeks turned into months, and my kids were still at home. Clients still weren’t rebooking. I had zero work from early May through July. I’ve struggled with anxiety but have been able to manage it pretty well. I was really sad this summer. I didn’t feel like myself. I’m a person of faith, so prayer helped a lot. It was a blessing getting to spend more time at home with my family. We did a lot of cooking and baking. We camped a lot. I am feeling better The pandemic led to now. My outlook has a tough few months for changed. In August, the business owned by Fort work started trickling Worth mom Dominique in slowly. Then, all of Anderson, seen here with a sudden, it exploded. her family. It’s really exceeded my expectations. The girls are back at school in person, and things are going okay. My youngest has asthma, which is a concern. But she’s doing well. We’re slowly getting back to our routine, but it does look different. I’m looking forward to being able to shake hands and hug again. I’ve missed that. I know my girls are looking forward to being able to reconnect with all of their friends. I’m still learning from all of this. We’ve had to have hard discussions as a family. We considered homeschooling. We were also considering private schooling. I’m optimistic that the girls are going to finish the school year at Fort Worth ISD, but we’re considering other options. I’m just trying to stay flexible. I want to keep my girls healthy. I want to keep myself healthy, so I can be there for my family and for my clients. That’s my focus.

Families On The Frontlines

The pandemic has been especially taxing on health care workers and their families. Emily Phillips, the Celina wife of an ER physician and a mother of three, sought a place for her husband to isolate after contact with patients. That request led her to Holly Haggard, a Prosper resident with a RV. Together, the women

founded RVs for MDs—connecting RV owners with frontline workers who need to isolate.

EMILY PHILLIPS: [When the pandemic began,] we didn’t know what we were dealing with. Sometimes, my husband sees up to 50 people with COVID a day, then he comes home and puts his doctor’s bag on the counter. He reassures me he wouldn’t put our family in harm’s way. It caused a lot of tension

[though] because I was scared. It’s been hard on our marriage, and Jason is stressed. HOLLY HAGGARD: [RVs for MDs] all started with a Facebook post. On March 22, my RVs for MDs co-founder, Emily Phillips, posted that she wanted to rent an RV for her husband Jason, who’s an ER doctor. She was worried about their three kids, knowing he might bring germs into the home after shifts at the hospital. After

seeing Emily’s post, a mutual friend reached out to see if I knew anyone who could help. I said, “My mom has a camper that she gave to us to sell. They can use it for as long they need. We don’t want any rent for it. Just tell them to pay it forward.” I connected with Emily, and we began to wonder if there might be others who’d be willing to help. We started posting to our personal pages and people kept sharing, and sharing and sharing. On March

dfwchild.com / december 2020

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Dallas ISD's Eric Hale— the first Black man to win Texas’ Teacher of the Year award—is working hard for his young students.

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december 2020 / dfwchild.com


24, Emily created a Facebook group, RVs for MDs to Fight the Coronavirus, and within a week, 10,000 people had joined. Within two weeks, we had over 30,000 people join. It just blew up from there. We’ve probably matched close to 1,700 RVs with MDs. It’s meant so much to RV owners to be able to help, instead of just sitting back and watching. It gives them purpose. And the recipients are so grateful and appreciative. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for those with family members on the frontlines. We’ve been very blessed. My husband is retired and takes care of our kids—Jace, 8, and Emma, 7—while I work from home. We’re taking everything one day at a time and living each day to its fullest, grateful that we’re where we are and that we’ve been able to give back. EP: [My husband Jason] spent a couple of months isolating in the RV, but eventually moved back home. RVs for MDs was a great experience. Everybody came together and was helping each other. I’ll always be proud of it. But for Jason, the isolation was just too hard. We realized this could go on for years. We’re looking forward to just being able to stop worrying about [Jason] catching it. I get tested weekly. The older kids are in school and going about their regular activities, but it’s been really hard to not be able to see my parents as much. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but you can’t live in fear every day. We’ll just have to see.

The Student Searching For A Cure

HALE: COURTESY OF DISD

Anika Chebrolu, a 14-year-old Frisco girl, became America’s Top Young Scientist after winning a 3M competition. She’s using her love of science to help find a COVID cure.

When I first heard about COVID19, I didn’t really think too much about it. I wondered if people were overreacting and never imagined it would affect the world so severely. The pandemic turned life upside down. Activities that used to be part of my day-to-day routine are much more confined. Contact with

friends is extremely restricted. Who could have imagined we’d need to attend school virtually? To add to all that, there’s a constant fear of yourself or a loved one getting infected. I’d like to go into a biologyrelated field or become a medical researcher or doctor. So before the pandemic, I was developing research on possible treatments for influenza. When my older brother told me about the 3M Young Scientist Challenge, I quickly filmed a submission based on my influenza research. In May, they announced I’d made the top 10, and I met my 3M mentor, Dr. Mahfuza Ali. We decided I should pivot my research to cover COVID-19. My study used in-silico methodology to discover a molecule that can potentially bind to the spike protein of the SARS-CoV-2 virus, a very important protein involved in the infectivity of the virus. I didn’t expect to win. When I heard my name called as America’s Top Young Scientist, it took me a couple of minutes to believe it. Along with the title of “America’s Top Young Scientist,” I received a $25,000 cash prize. I plan to use it to further my research and to fund my nonprofit, AcademyAid, which provides materials to underprivileged children. I’ll save the rest for college. The pandemic has changed almost everything. I miss being able to connect with people freely.

Online school is extremely different, but this is a first-time situation for everyone and I’m thankful to teachers for all they’re doing to create a good experience. When life begins to return to normal, I look forward to going back to school, meeting new people and spending time with friends.

Reimagining The Classroom

Texas’ reigning Teacher of the Year, Eric Hale, teaches first and second grades at Dallas ISD’s Burnet Elementary School. Hale shares what it’s like to teach children (many of them living below the poverty line) in these unprecedented times.

For me, the pandemic created a character-check moment. Are you going to step up to the challenge? Are you truly as good as people say you are? Do you care as much as you say you care? I chose to forgo my summer and instead work with my school community all summer long, providing resources to the children I serve. As a community, we decided to focus on the “thrive” and not the “survive.” We face unforeseen obstacles in the community that I serve every day. This was just another one. We’ve been fighting the good fight ever since. Now, we’re back in person—I have a couple of kids who are still learning virtually—and we’re giving it all we’ve got to fight

“As a community, we decided to focus on the ‘thrive’ and not the ‘survive.’ We face unforeseen obstacles in the community that I serve every day. This was just another one.”

for educational survival. I refuse for my kids to drown. It’s been tough, but Dallas ISD did a phenomenal job with closing the digital divide. They also did a wonderful job providing meals to our school community all summer long. When it came to my students, I decided that I didn’t want to wait to see what was going to happen. So I advocated for my students at Texas A&M-Commerce, which supplied each one of my students with a laptop and a hotspot. Now they have the technology that the district provided, as well. We’re seeing teachers across the nation go above and beyond right now. It’s an incredible undertaking. It’s become apparent that educators are the engine to American society—and how truly hard it is to do what we do. Even for the best-prepared, best-financed parents, it takes a lot to teach a child. I had to mold myself into the 21st-century teacher children need in this pandemic. I still try to create a magical atmosphere in my classroom, whether that’s digital or in person, but it’s been extremely challenging. Children can feel the love and the energy that comes out of me. They feed off of that energy and give back to me. That cycle of loving, learning, moving and grooving is constantly being unplugged—so it’s definitely twice as hard. I can’t wait to get back to classroom dance parties and field trips. Representation matters so much to the children that I serve, so going on field trips and exposing them to great, authentic leaders in the community is a big part of what I do in creating that culture of care. To be honest, I don’t feel safe in the classroom. But I know that the children I serve need me now more than ever. The joy I get from my students is stronger than any fear I have for my well-being. There have been teachers who lost their lives due to COVID, and that weighs heavily on many educators. It’s not easy, which is why I encourage parents to give teachers grace. Everybody is learning on the fly, trying to redefine themselves and find their voice. We’ll continue to give you grace, too. There’s no playbook for this and it’s not going to be perfect—but if you give your best effort, I promise you, your child will be OK.

dfwchild.com / december 2020

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SLEEP AID

the group providing beds for North Texans in need WORDS

SYDNEY BLALOCK RITCHIE

T

HE HOLIDAY SEASON IS A TIME FOR GRATITUDE. We’re grateful for our family, our friends, our home. During a year of quarantine, we’ve been thankful for beautiful days that let us enjoy nature, time for a leisurely cocktail on the patio, the amazing work of our kids’ teachers (can I get an amen?). But have you ever thought to be grateful just to have a bed? For many in DFW, that’s actually a luxury. We spoke to Doug Nickols, founder and director of Bed Start—a nonprofit organization based in Collin County that provides beds for those in need—about just how important it is to have a place to lay your head. What are the origins of Bed Start? Bed Start began out of a church ministry. I left an overworked corporate leadership job, had a truck and trailer, and found an unmet need in the community. [The first family we served was] a single mom with three children—one terminally dfwchild.com / december 2020

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influencer / S L E E P

DFWChild.com Directory Helping parents successfully navigate the childhood years is kind of our thing. Explore our not-so-secret weapon, the online directory, at dfwchild.com.

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december 2020 / dfwchild.com

ill—whose husband abandoned them and the number of households waiting on beds. took all the furnishings in their Allen apartIn years past, Bed Start had sponsors that ment. We located beds for them and received matched $1 for $1, but due to the economy furniture donations. this year, will not. Tell us how Bed Start works. Through our Do all donations go directly toward beds? ministry, we directly serve the community; we All monetary donations go 100% toward the share gently used beds and furnishings, and purchase of beds and bedding. Bed Start is a provide to households in need coming out of 100% volunteer group with no overhead cost, crisis. Households within Collin County and rent or property costs and no salaries, so [all elsewhere are referred by other nonprofits, the money] goes directly to the need. churches, schools, government agencies You mentioned that having a bed is good and others that we have a relationship with. for school performance. In what other ways Although we operate 365 days a year, our core does providing a bed for someone help them? time is every Saturday morning. We welcome Having your own bed provides dignity and volunteers and service-minded people to join self-worth. Not only does it provide a good us until noon. night’s sleep to be mentally awake the next How extensive is the need? We provide day and physically healthy, it nourishes body, furnishing of homes connected through mind and soul. referrals by over 250 agencies. We pick up It’s not just about actually sleeping. Right. A donations in over 1,200 homes and bed is not just an immediate solution but, deliver into over 750 households longer term, it provides a haven in need per year. We provide to call your own—whether in service opportunities for the transitional living homes over 50 faith-based groups, we support and furnish, or service organization an apartment where each chapters, corporate and sibling can have their municipal groups, and own space. those completing courtIt must be rewarding mandated service hours. for those who donate. Pre-COVID, Bed Start With many agencies just delivered over 1,700 beds. asking people to contribWe’re on track this year for ute [money] and [donors] 1,500 beds. not knowing exactly what That’s amazing, given all trickles down to the real need, the constraints of the our donors witness pandemic. How else has a volunteer base COVID impacted you? determined to make It has affected us, both the world a better place good and not so good. straight away. Children Initially, our volunteer in donor homes give base dropped sigmore unconditionally nificantly but has picked [in other ways]; adults Want to help Bed Start? back up. To continue giving up their generaVisit bedstart.org to find out how to make operations with no shuttional possessions know a furniture donation, join the volunteer down, we established it goes directly to a delivery team or contribute financially. ourselves as an essential need rather than sitting business and persevered in a nonprofit resale with strong distancing shop or thrift store; and and health and safety elders know that their measures. downsizing has benefits for the community We have witnessed a shrinking of resourcat large. Likewise, when crews show up at a es for the most vulnerable population, causing delivery, the recipient household witnesses the increased problems in domestic violence cases unconditional care and compassion people and homelessness. In the meantime, we’re have for them. It’s not just a delivery truck pushing on with an ever-increasing wait list, with paid staff. with wait times measured in months while How can our readers show that care and people are sleeping on floors or pallets, until a compassion in their own communities? Serve bed and furnishings are provided. unconditionally and love thy neighbor. Meet What’s your “In Bed by Christmas Eve” citizens other than the ones that look, sound initiative? The cornerstone of Bed Start is to and talk the same [as you]. Engage and don’t provide beds to children sleeping on floors just write a check, fill a collection bin or buy so they would do well the next day in school. a gift card—transferring responsibility to Colder weather also increases the number others. Bring your grandparents and children of doctor visits and financial hardships of and serve the community as a family, create households in need. In Bed by Christmas Eve stories and build a new generation to heal this provides a donation stream to draw down fractured world.

Get Involved

MATTRESS: BILL BRUNKEN

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Manager for BodyArmor sports drink OFFSPRING Rhett, 11, and Layla, 9. Layla has cystic fibrosis.

FAMILY PHOTO: JOANNA WALLER; LUNGS: NOUN PROJECT

Joanna Waller (with children Layla and Rhett) has been extra careful during COVID because of her daughter’s diagnosis.

mom next door /

JOANNA WALLER

taking challenges in stride WORDS

K E L LY W O O L E Y

H

AVING A CHILD WITH CYSTIC FIBROSIS—a disease that causes persistent lung infections and, over time, limits the ability to breathe—means spending a lot of time in the hospital. In total, Joanna Waller’s daughter Layla has been in the hospital 120 days since she was born nine years ago. Waller, of course, has been by her side the whole time. Some hospital stays are expected and can be planned out. Others—like the one Layla had in November—call for a swift rearrangement of daily life for a couple of weeks (the average length of each hospital stay). By now, Waller is a pro. With a few quick phone calls and emails, her son Rhett, 11, is taken care of. Since Joanna works from her Keller home, she just moves her office from the house to the hospital. That does make for some unique situations, such as taking conference calls in the dfwchild.com / december 2020

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special needs / M O M bathroom of Layla’s hospital room. But Joanna just takes it all in stride, and as Layla has gotten older, she’s learned to do the same. It’s a tribute to the way the whole family has learned to approach life since Layla was born. You found out about Layla’s diagnosis about halfway through your pregnancy. How did that happen? Our doctor was able to diagnose her through the genetic testing we did. He was one of a few doctors I knew of that did such extensive testing in utero. Was there a reason to think there would be a complication? We actually found out we were carriers through blood work when I was pregnant with Rhett. Once you find out you are carriers, there is a 1 in 4 chance your child will have cystic fibrosis—so you can do an amnio to see if your little one has CF or does not. Rhett does not. When we were pregnant with Layla and did the amnio we found out she did, in fact, have CF. What was your reaction? It was a shock, for sure. And that was a really hard phone call to get. Our neonatologist was incredible and so very warm and kind delivering the news to us. After a day of being sad and asking God why, we decided that we would just pray joy over our girl. We could have sat around and had our own pity party, but we used our faith to pray joy over her. And “pray joy over her” became our mantra. We knew it was going to be hard and that there would be tough times, but felt like it was just part of our story. And luckily, we had the second half of my pregnancy to mentally prepare and start working hard to ensure that when she was born we would have her medical team ready to go. How much did you know about cystic fibrosis when you received Layla’s diagnosis? When I was in my early 20s, I worked for The North Face. One of our interns had cystic fibrosis, which was my first and only exposure to the diagnosis. I didn’t think much about it at the time, but

NEXT DOOR

when we found out about Layla’s diagnosis, I took it as further proof that God is taking care of us every step of the way. Did you have similar experiences with your children’s deliveries? From the beginning, it couldn’t have been more different. When Rhett was born, I pushed for two hours. With Layla, I happened to let out a little laugh while the nurse was having me do a test push, and that was that. I literally laughed Layla out of my body. I remember my mom saying, “Well, you have been praying joy over Layla since receiving her diagnosis, so there you go.” How did you adapt to being a “CF mom” after Layla was born? Oh, I was definitely a deer in the headlights. Mentally I was trying to keep my cool, but I had no idea what to expect. No one had prepared me for the long hospital stays that came with a CF diagnosis. In many ways, the whole family’s life had to change. How did that affect Rhett? Honestly, it really didn’t. They’re only 18 months apart, so it’s really the only life he’s known. He’s such a great big brother, always wanting to do whatever it takes to keep Layla healthy. Was it challenging at first to make sure Layla’s needs were met while also providing all the care and attention that Rhett needed? As new parents, it’s always a little challenging learning to navigate life with two littles—sleeping, eating, diapers, work, play, all the things. Then, adding in all of the new routines we had with Layla, it seemed a little overwhelming at first, but it quickly became a part of our everyday normal. Their dad Nathan and I would tag team treatments, diapers, meds … It’s pretty funny though, the moment you get overwhelmed, Rhett would do something that had us laughing, or Layla would giggle for the first time, and things just became clear and were put into perspective. Finding joy wherever we could was the name of the game and made those early seemingly stressful days super sweet.

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december 2020 / dfwchild.com

LAYLA: JOANNA WALLER

“WE COULD HAVE SAT AROUND AND HAD OUR OWN PITY PARTY, BUT INSTEAD WE USED OUR FAITH TO PRAY JOY OVER HER.”


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Both Layla and Rhett are doing virtual school right now, correct? Yes, it’s just too much of a health risk for Layla right now with COVID-19 still going on. We assess every nine weeks as to whether we’ll stay virtual or try in-person. How else has the COVID pandemic affected your daily lives? The only really signficant change is that I’m no longer traveling for work. My fellow CF moms and I got a bit of a laugh at the beginning of the pandemic, when everyone was desperately searching for hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes. The constant sanitizing was already part of our daily life. I had plenty of cleaning materials stockpiled, so I was able to share with friends and family. What, if any, restrictions does Layla have when it comes to just being a kid? Besides the extra caution about germs and getting sick, she’s pretty much your average 9-year-old. And luckily, being active is very important to keeping her lungs healthy. She loves riding her bike, jumping on the trampoline and has just started playing tennis since it’s a socially distanced sport. Daily life for children with CF has a few added “activities.” Can you explain? Of course. On average, we do two breathing treatments a day. Because Layla’s stomach isn’t able to break down food, she has to take pancreatic enzymes before each meal or snack—that’s 30 pills per day! I give Layla chest percussion therapy twice a day, where I repetitively pat her on the back to help break up the mucus that can accumulate in her lungs. How do you handle all that when she is going to school on campus instead of at home? She definitely frequents the nurse’s office, and we have been so blessed to have incredible school nurses! With her breathing treatments and chest percussion therapy, we have been able to not have to rely on school to do those during the school day; they are a part of our routine at home. There are times, though, when she needs additional treatments throughout the day, and we work with her teachers if she has to take a few days off school to do more than her routine treatments. Our school works closely with us and we are all a team for Layla to keep her healthy and on top of her education. How much does Layla know about her diagnosis? It’s pretty much been an ongoing conversation since the beginning. There was never an official “talk” about it. If she has questions, we talk about it. How have you handled the long-term outlook for cystic fibrosis patients? Does Layla know anything about that? That’s probably the one conversation she and I haven’t had. Luckily, so much research is constantly being done and new drugs are being approved left and right. How do you balance everything when Layla has to be admitted to the hospital? Luckily, my work is so understanding. I already work from home, so it’s pretty simple to rearrange things if I have to or (laughs) take conference calls in the hospital bathroom like I’m doing right now. As Layla’s mom, I want to be at the hospital with her 24/7, so Nathan can be home with Rhett. While Nathan and I are no longer together, he’s a huge part of our family, and we’re a team with Layla’s care in and out of the hospital. Do you also have a lot of support from extended family? Has COVID made that more complicated? COVID has definitely changed things, but I am incredibly grateful for family and friends who’ve been so supportive with my requests to be extra safe when we get together. We’ve done socially distanced outdoor playdates—doing bike rides, skating or swimming—and changed how we get together with family, making sure we are all wearing masks and staying distanced outside but still having fun. My family even threw me an incredible 40th birthday, with the most amazing car parade of my favorite people. Tears of joy and gratitude were flowing! Have you connected with other parents of children with cystic fibrosis? I have. It’s a little bizarre because our kids can’t get together because of the health risks—but we try and have regular get-togethers as often as possible. Having connections with other CF mamas, locally and across the country, is so important. All of our kiddos are different ages and are affected differently by CF, but what bonds us is our warrior mentality. We moms are stronger together!

Email us at: info@adiversefamilyinc.com adiversefamilyinc.com 210-557-3636 or 210-379-9899 ©

dfwchild.com / december 2020

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special needs / B R I E F S

TAKE FIVE how joanna waller relaxes & recharges I N T E R V I E W K E L LY W O O L E Y

THE KITCHEN IS DEFINITELY MY HAPPY PLACE. I LOVE TO BAKE CAKES; THIS ONE IS FROM RHETT’S 10TH BIRTHDAY PARTY AT TEXAS MOTOR SPEEDWAY. I ALSO ENJOY BIKING. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I BIKE SO I CAN STILL BAKE. IT’S MY BIKING-BAKING BALANCE THAT KEEPS ME SANE.

2

H OW H E R FA M I LY BO N DS

g “We all love to be outside. Discovering new places to hike around together is one of our favorite things to do. Some of our favorites include Grapevine Lake, Trophy Club Park and the Fort Worth Water Gardens.” LAKE GRAPEVINE //

5

grapevinetexasusa.com TROPHY CLUB PARK // 2885 Trophy Park Drive, Trophy Club; trophyclub.org FORT WORTH WATER GARDENS // 1502 Commerce St., Fort Worth; fortworth.com

R E TA I L TH E R A PY FO R A LL

4

“As a testament to their love of the outdoors, the kids’ favorite store is REI in Southlake. For me, Amazon Prime and Target are amazing. I also really like shopping on Etsy.” REI // Multiple locations; rei.com AMAZON PRIME // amazon.com/prime TARGET // Multiple locations; target.com ETSY // etsy.com

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december 2020 / dfwchild.com

WO R DS S H E LI V E S BY

‘‘

MY FAVORITE BIBLE VERSE IS ROMANS 15:13. MAY THE GOD OF HOPE FILL YOU WITH ALL JOY AND PEACE AS YOU TRUST IN HIM, SO THAT YOU MAY OVERFLOW WITH HOPE BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. IT’S TAPED TO MY MIRROR, AND THE FEW TIMES THAT I DO GET DOWN ABOUT LAYLA’S DIAGNOSIS, I REFER BACK TO THAT VERSE.

CAKE: JOANNA WALLER; FORT WORTH WATER GARDENS: CITY OF FORTH WORTH; REI SOUTHLAKE: REI; BOOK: POTTER/TEN SPEED/HARMONY/RODALE

AC TI V ITI E S FO R “M E TIM E ”

BOOK OF CHOICE

“I adore a good cookbook and read them like novels! My current favorite is Half Baked Harvest Cookbook: Recipes from My Barn in the Mountains. Tieghan [Gerard, the author] has not steered me wrong yet, and her cookbook is absolutely dreamy.”

‘‘

1

3



a tuesday in the life of

SUSAN HANCOCK Susan Ayala Hancock is an autism mom and counselor at the practice SpecialNeedsFamily.Life. She and husband Alan, a software engineer, live in Plano with her stepdaughter, Jenn, and their two sons, Randy, 25, and Brian, 18—both of whom are on the autism spectrum. Two German Shepherds and two cats complete the family.

5

:30AM I get a cold, wet, nose in the eye—my dog’s way of telling me she needs to go out. Once she’s out, I go back to bed. It’s too dang early. 9AM I stagger to open my bedroom door (did I mention I’m a night owl?) in search of coffee and come face-to-face with Randy—my 6’2” child and “personal stalker.” Every morning he lurks right outside the door of my bedroom. He’s just eagerly waiting for his mom because, well, autism. He is so doggone sweet and cheerful, it’s hard to be mad at him. Until the questions begin. 9:20AM Consume more coffee, text the reclusive and seen-only-for-feedings teenager, Brian— a senior in high school who is doing online learning—just to make sure he is alive and doing school stuff. Feed the people something small

and easy, feed the pets. Randy is on his 27th question of the day; he is beside himself with joy that he found an unused Target gift card. “Hey, mom. Hey Mom??? Can I set a timer until we can go to Target?” 11AM First counseling client of the day via Zoom—a very goal-oriented executive mom whose 4-year-old was recently diagnosed with autism. We talk about all the uncertainty of the future: the “why me’s,” and the soul-crushing guilt of thinking there was something she might have done to cause her daughter’s autism. There are tears from both of us. I’ve just learned to hide mine really well. I give her homework: What are your expectations? Where did they come from, and who do they serve? Big stuff. 12:15PM Randy hears me open the door and resumes his stalking duties. Question 72: “Hey, mom? Hey mom. How many hours are left until it’s time to get into the shower? Mom??” It’s also time to get us some lunch. Whataburger now delivers! Yay!! 1:30PM Plumber arrives. I haven’t had hot water at the kitchen sink for months. A minor inconvenience; the dishwasher still steams and does the dishes. I never got around to calling until I got a text last night from my teenager saying, “Mom, is there any reason why there’s been no hot water for showers for the last couple of months?” Aaughh! Nobody said a word. I am Mother of the Year. Randy tells the plumber, “It’s okay that the water’s cold. I’m a fast scrubber.” 2:40PM Time to make a McDonald’s run to feed Randy—he doesn’t like Whataburger fries and must have his chicken nuggets. He’s never had a pizza, hot dog or hamburger in his life. Because autism. All us autism moms know that “brown and crunchy” is a thing, and that French fries are a universal food group. 3:30PM Second counseling client of the day. Hubby is Zooming in his office and teenager is Zooming in the game room upstairs, so I’m relegated to using my iPad for my meeting in our bedroom. I talk with an autism mom who is going through a divorce. She suspects her soonto-be-ex is also on the spectrum somewhere, and negotiations are breaking down. This kind of work is rewarding most days, but other days are heartbreaking. 5PM Time for some “pupper therapy” for me and to get some ya-ya’s out for the doggos. You would think these German Shepherds are Laborador Retrievers! I throw the ball into the pool about 16 times. It could be 20 degrees below freezing and our dogs will still jump in. Because ball is life. 6:10PM Time to feed the people again. Leftovers from Cowboy Chicken and some reheated supreme pizza for Brian, who grabs his plate and slinks off upstairs with a few grunts of acknowledgment. I feed the dogs, then I’m ready for some quality time with my husband.

Diaries are penned by moms (and dads) in the North Texas area. The authors volunteer to share a day of their choosing and are not paid or endorsed by DFWChild. Send your diary to editorial@dfwchild.com. All submissions are subject to editing and may be cut for space. 38

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

HANCOCK FAMILY: DESIREE CHAPMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

special needs / R O U T I N E S


the fine

print

WHAT SHE’S READING Fortune and Glory: A Novel (Stephanie Plum novel No. 27) by Janet Evanovich FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH Davey Jones from The Monkees RESTAURANT SHE FREQUENTS WITH HER FAMILY Chili’s HER GO-TO RECIPE Um… Home Chef delivery? FAVORITE INDULGENCE Any and all things chocolate HER BEST PURCHASE EVER A Neck Hammock. It’s life-changing! WHAT SHE DOES WHEN LIFE GETS A LITTLE STRESSFUL A bit of dog therapy with my pups MOTHERHOOD IN FOUR WORDS Empty the dang dishwasher SHE WISHES SHE HAD MORE TIME TO Travel with hubby CELEBRITY MOM SHE ADMIRES Joanna Gaines SHE’S REALLY GOOD AT Being patient SHE’S REALLY BAD AT Math BEST ADVICE SHE HAS BEEN GIVEN Don’t sweat the small stuff. TOP HOSTESS TIP Don’t forget the rolls in the oven!

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8PM Time to watch some TV and unwind. Star Trek: Discovery! Teenager makes a grand production of emptying the dishwasher. Randy adheres to his nightly schedule of going upstairs to play with his Thomas the Tank Engine trains while watching YouTube. Most kids his age are saving up for a car. He, however, is saving up for trains made for 4-year-olds to play with. It used to be hard to accept, but—like so many things with autism—you learn that there are many more important things to worry about. He has been collecting Thomas trains since he was 4, so we have every Thomas train known to man. It makes him happy. 11PM Hubby fell asleep about an hour ago, so I’m reading articles on communications strategies for married couples and then catching up on Facebook. Brian is foraging through bags of chips and cookies in the pantry. Later I will hear intermittent whoops and hollers from video game battles and cackling from chats with friends on Discord. 1AM I check tomorrow’s schedule, do some last-minute preparation for my first client—a couple whose daughter has an eating disorder. I hope I can help in some way, big or small. Gotta let the dogs out for the last time before bed. I nudge Alan and whisper “Love you more,” because it’s always a competition to see who says it first after midnight—that way it counts for all day long. It’s the little things that matter most. Time for bed. Peace out. dfwchild.com / december 2020

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special needs

/ TAKE NOTE

BOYS: ©ISTOCK; SENSORY BRAIN: NOUN PROJECT

The holidays can be stressful for kids with autism, but you can help them adjust.

SENSORYSENSITIVE HOLIDAYS a better season for all WORDS

SYDNEY BLALOCK RITCHIE

T

HE HOLIDAYS CAN BE A LOT to manage. Yes, you’re off work, the kids are off school, and you’re (usually) spending time with family you haven’t seen all year. It’s a time for holiday baking, shopping for gifts, and decorating the tree. Fun, but sometimes stressful, right? If it’s stressful for you or a neurotypical child, just imagine how stressful the holidays can be for kiddos with special needs—particularly sensory sensitivities. Think about it. There’s so much going on: more lights, more sounds, more people, more everything. And while we’re conditioned to think of those changes as good things, “even happy change can be difficult for children on the spectrum, or with any additional needs,” says Dallas mom Stephanie Hanrahan, a blogger who has two kids with autism. For Hanrahan’s family, navigating the holidays is about being prepared. “School ends for dfwchild.com / december 2020

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special needs / T A K E

NOTE

ABOVE // Headphones can help calm a child who has sensory challenges, blocking unwanted noise during travel and other holiday activities.

the winter break, grandparents visit, routines are shifted … anxiety can easily increase,” Hanrahan notes. “We’ve found that setting clear expectations and using visual aids or social stories really help with the transitions and keep our holidays merry and bright.” Erika Slater—a Coppell resident whose 12-year-old son has autism, autoimmune encephalitis and diabetes—says the holidays got easier when she allowed herself to say “no.” “We tried so hard every year after [his] diagnosis to attend every party, involve our child in all the ‘normal’ traditions,” she says. “At some point, we reevaluated exactly what our son enjoyed, and we To connect with the experts at decided that he didn’t Life Skills Autism Academy, visit have to participate in lifeskillsautismacademy.com. everything that our neurotypical children preferred. Once we allowed ourselves to graciously decline, we avoided stressful gatherings and focused on activities that brought our son fulfillment.” If your child will be in a situation that may cause some stress (sometimes they’re unavoidable, no matter how your family celebrates in December), there are ways to mitigate anxiety. Life Skills Autism Academy in Plano shared these tips for making the holidays enjoyable when special needs are in the mix. Keep your child’s regular appointments. The experts at Life Skills highly recommend that you stick to your child’s regular schedule for therapy and other appointments that support their well-being. And if they miss a few hours, try to make them up. “ABA therapy is an important part of a child’s routine and can help reduce the stress of school breaks and holiday hustle and bustle,” the Life Skills team says. Stay away from surprises. When possible, continue your daily routines. This can give children a sense of comfort during the busy season. Use calendars or make a schedule with pictures so they know what to expect in terms of parties or other holiday events. Slater says routines really help out her family. She displays a “countdown calendar” in the kitchen, and her son does the same thing every morning leading up to a big event. “He changes the number immediately after he wakes,” she notes. “The visual cue of knowing how many days [are left] dramatically decreases his anxiety.” She and her family also have dedicated dates on the calendar to

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december 2020 / dfwchild.com

TRAVEL: ©ISTOCK

help at the holidays (and beyond)


dfwchild.com / december 2020

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special needs / T A K E change the decorations in their home. “Each year, we do the exact same schedule,” she says. “The first day of October, we start to decorate for Halloween. November 1, we take down Halloween and change to Thanksgiving. The day after stuffing ourselves with turkey and pie, we work off the calories by turning our home into a Christmas scene. Having a plan makes the transition more acceptable.” Decorate gradually if needed. If those single-day décor transformations don’t work for your child, Life Skills suggests adding decorations around the house gradually—so your little has time to adjust. Allow them to be a part of the decisions as well. Let food issues go during holiday events. If you have a kiddo with a very

limited palate, don’t use holiday parties to work on it. “If you’re hosting, let them pick some menu items,” the Life Skills team advises. “If visiting another home, take food that’s comforting and familiar to help them through.” Don’t expect the host of the event to make dietary accommodations. Bring items that comfort your child. Let them take a small bag of comfort items to whatever event you’re attending. Toys, fidget spinners, books, a blanket—pick belongings that will soothe your child if the event becomes over-stimulating. Find a quiet spot for your kiddo. If you’re visiting someone’s home, ask the host if there’s a room or small area that can be a quiet space. Then show that space to your child so they know they can retreat there if needed. Don’t test their limits. Since new sights, sounds and people can overwhelm kids, particularly those on the autism spectrum, don’t force them to participate in all the goings-on during the holidays. Life Skills Autism Academy experts suggest encouraging their participation but not expecting them to sit for hours of gift exchanges or to hug every person at the party (of course, with COVID, that might not be an issue this year for any of us). Go with the flow. Traditions and celebrations can be hard to understand for those with autism, and expecting them to have the same anticipation and excitement as other children may lead to disappointment. Let go of the notion that a celebration should go a certain way for it to be a success. Instead, focus on making the event exciting and enjoyable for the whole family. “This is the season of giving, and the best gift is grace,” says Slater. “Allow yourselves the ability to accept your new normal. Be thankful for small victories. Believe in recovery. And if Christmas morning doesn’t go as planned, December 26 is a brand-new day.” 44

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

NOTE

Travel Tips While the holidays may look different this year, you may still have plans to see long-distance family. (For recommendations on how to do that as safely as possible, see the sidebar on page 52.) Whether you’re headed to the airport or taking a road trip, traveling with a kiddo who has special needs can present some challenges. Here are a few tips to make it easier—now or when the pandemic is over. Bring medications, medical equipment and a copy of your child’s medical records, just in case. A doctor’s note explaining your child’s condition might also be helpful. Pack items that make your child feel comfortable. “Ask yourself, Does my child have issues with certain sounds or smells? If [they’re] sensitive to noises, you can bring noise-canceling headphones and play your child’s favorite music,” says Twila Farrar, a licensed professional counselor and certified autism specialist at University Park Counseling & Testing Center. For a kiddo who is sensitive to smells, consider bringing travel-size essential oils or something else that is pleasantly scented. You’ll likely also want to bring along your child’s usual pillow from home or a well-liked blanket or stuffed animal. (Be cautious about bringing something that is irreplaceable.) Pack entertainment. And lots of it. A goody bag with coloring books, crayons, a tablet and similar items will help keep them busy. Driving? Map your route in advance. This will allow you to plan out where you’ll stop for restroom breaks, get a favorite meal, etc., and let your child move around. Be thoughtful about flights. If possible, fly during a time of day when your child is most relaxed. Also consider that the airport tends to be busier first thing in the morning and right after work. When it comes to seats, sitting closer to the front of the plane can be helpful for kids who don’t do well in crowds. They’ll have fewer people in their sightline; you’ll also have convenient bathroom access and be able to disembark more quickly. Before your flight, you could create a social story that covers all aspects of the trip, suggests Janice A. Moran, who sees patients at Agape Psych Services in Arlington. “Include everything from packing to boarding the plane and so on,” she says. There are also books, apps and YouTube videos that can get kids more familiar with the process. Give relatives a heads-up. If you’re visiting family or friends who aren’t regularly around your child, make sure they’re aware of any special needs. Does your child get over-stimulated? Keep things lowkey when possible, and set up a quiet space they can retreat to if needed. Prepare kids, too. Show your child photos of who they’ll be seeing (if they aren’t together regularly) before you leave, says Farrar. And talk about what to expect during the visit.


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dfwchild.com / december 2020

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special needs /

TAKE NOTE: IN BRIEF

WORDS HEATHER VANCE DEVERS + ALEXIS PATTERSON + E M I LY Y E A R W O O D

“Just” Charlie French

W

News:

FORT WORTH ZOO BECOMES ASD CERTIFIED The Fort Worth Zoo has earned its stripes as the first zoo in Texas to receive the Certified Autism Center designation. The achievement reflects Fort Worth Zoo’s commitment to make sure all guests, including those with autism and other sensory needs, have a great visit. To earn the important designation—awarded by the International Board of Credentialing and Continuing Education Standards (IBCCES)—Fort Worth Zoo staff completed autismspecific training, and the zoo underwent a review process. In the Lone Star State, only the Houston Museum of Natural Science and Space Center Houston are also Certified Autism Centers. You can find certified destinations around the globe at autismtravel.com.

unt program for people with id THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH TEXAS is launching a four-year program for young adults with intellectual disabilities. UNT ELEVAR (Empower, Learn, Excel, enVision, Advance and Rise) will equip participants with educational training to help them pursue meaningful careers; they also will develop skills that support independent lives. This is the first inclusive postsecondary program for adults with intellectual disabilities in North Texas and only the second of its kind in the state. Students can live on the Denton campus if they choose, audit UNT classes and take part in on-campus work opportunities, among other program elements. UNT ELEVAR will begin in fall 2021. The university will accept applications for the first cohort from Dec. 1 through Feb. 1. For more info, visit coe.unt.edu/elevar or email elevar@unt.edu. 46

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

CHARLIE FRENCH: COURTESY OF KAREN FRENCH; LIZARD: ©I ©ISTOCK; UNT: ©ISTOCK

his genetic disorder. Instead, he wants to be noticed for his art and known simply as an artist. The Texas Rangers organization approached French to make a piece for the new Globe Life Field in Arlington. French created a triptych painting called Texas Rangers Homerun!—a piece he says was inspired by his childhood love of playing T-ball with friends. We connected with the exceptional artist to find out why he loves to paint and what inspires his colorful art. Child: Your work is amazing. When did you begin painting? French: I have always painted, since I was a little kid. I decided about five years ago that it would be my job. Child: When did you realize that you had a gift as an artist? French: I didn’t know that. I just loved to paint. ABOVE // The words “It's OK” on this canvas represent Charlie Child: Where do you find your French’s message to families with a child who has Down syndrome. artistic inspiration? BELOW // Vivid colors are a hallmark of French’s work. French: My imagination, food, hen you see the beautiful water, travel, music and movies. abstract art of Dallasite Charlie Child: What is your favorite part about painting? French, you may notice the French: I love moving my brushes across a excellent composition canvas. I feel free. or the stunning Child: For children who love to array of colors. What you might paint, what do you recommend not realize is that French, 29, has they do to become an artist? Down syndrome. And that’s French: 1. Practice! Every day. I exactly the way that he likes paint every day almost. it—French makes a point that 2. Keep learning! Take classes, he is “just” Charlie French. In read and explore. fact, @justcharliefrench is his 3. Have fun! Work can be really Instagram and Facebook handle, fun! And take a break and eat a and his website can be found at cupcake! justcharliefrench.org. It’s all about Editor’s note: Follow French online to French’s preference to not be defined by find works available for purchase.


services.

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a resourceful guide for your special needs A One-Of-A-Kind Camp Camp Summit is a residential camp for children and adults with disabilities where the emphasis is on the campers’ abilities rather than their disabilities. Traditional camp activities are adapted to each camper, provided in our barrier-free facilities, and implemented by trained, caring staff. Campers are grouped by age, providing the opportunity to make friends within peer groups while experiencing new adventures. Camp Summit 270 Private Rd. 3475, Paradise, TX 76073 972-484-8900 • camp@campsummittx.org campsummittx.org

Dance is Heart, Not Ability “What’s Your Beat?” Looking for extracurricular activities for your loved one with special needs? Jasmine’s Beat provides Adaptive Fusion Dance and Adaptive Theater Dance classes with an optional sensory-sensitive recital! Led by Jasmine Mathew, a Recreation Therapist with over 20 years experience working with a multitude of populations with disabilities. Virtual/in-person (with masks). Jasmine’s Beat Frisco, TX jasminesbeat.com

Increase communication. Decrease behavior. Improve quality of life. Now enrolling new Dallas location at 635 and Hillcrest! The Helm ABA Allen. Lewisville. Dallas. In-Home. 469-730-0925 www.TheHelmABA.com

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To advertise in the DFWChild Special Needs Services section, call 972-447-9188 or email advertising@dfwchild.com

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kid culture.

SEASON’S MEANINGS help kids embrace a less material holiday WORDS

ALEXIS PATTERSON

D

ECEMBER IS ALL ABOUT PRESENTS at my house. My son’s seventh birthday is this month, followed a couple of short weeks later by Christmas. I started stockpiling presents before you probably thought about your kid’s Halloween costume. My child doesn’t really need more toys and games, of course; we have plenty of items he played with once or twice and lost interest in. So it would be nice if the accumulation of stuff wasn’t so important. What if our kids didn’t count presents but instead counted their blessings? Loved ones, togetherness, kindness—those are the things that really matter at the holidays, right? I think all of us parents would agree that’s true. But if we’re fortunate enough to be able to gift our children with more than the basics, it’s not always easy to pull kids’ focus away from the material world. I chatted with fellow parents and some experts on young minds to see what we can do dfwchild.com / december 2020

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kid culture / S E A S O N ’ S to give our children the gift of a more meaningful holiday season. REMOVING DISTRACTIONS A North Texas mom named Dorothy has an unusual approach to the holidays. (We omitted Dorothy’s last name for privacy—because, as you’ll see, her philosophy isn’t one every parent agrees with.) Dorothy’s kids know Santa isn’t real. No, they didn’t have a sudden, shocking revelation. They’ve basically always known the truth. “It’s about removing some of the distractions during the Christmas season, so we can focus on what really matters,” she explains. “My husband’s parents didn’t do Santa, and even when I was a teenager I thought I might not do Santa with my future kids. Early on in my relationship with my husband, we watched his niece tear through countless presents, constantly asking, ‘Where’s my nother one?’ We just wanted our kids to have a different kind of Christmas, one built on quality and not quantity while remembering that not all kids are as fortunate as others.” Dorothy’s children (a daughter, 6, and a son, 3) do have Santa PJs, and St. Nick shows up as a character in some of their storybooks. But he’s just that—a character, no different than Elsa in Frozen. Presents come from Mom, Dad and other family and friends, without an extra haul from the “North Pole.” “This allows us to keep Jesus Christ as the center of the season, and promotes a deeper level of trust within the family by the kids knowing what’s behind the curtain,” Dorothy shares. “Of course, we have conversations with our kids to respect other families’ Santa plans to avoid ruining their experience.” Dorothy and her husband also try to not let their kids get an excess of toys that they won’t really play with. “When my daughter was a couple of years old, I realized she was accumulating so many

MEANINGS

things and not even really enjoying them all,” Dorothy recalls. “We didn’t want people to waste money on toys that would just sit around untouched.” Now they split the children’s gifts in two ways: If it’s a toy the kids would actually like and frequently use, Mom, Dad or another family member will buy it; otherwise, the children receive “experience gifts”—tickets to Sesame Street Live, a gift certificate to an art studio or a trampoline park, zoo tickets. This year, since her kids are forgoing most outings because of COVID, Dorothy is buying activity presents, such as a birdhouse the kids can spend hours putting together and painting. “We also space out gifts,” Dorothy adds. “Our family opens stockings on Christmas Eve before other presents in the morning. It’s the same idea for our children’s birthdays. They open presents each day of their birthday week. They open one and spend that day playing with it and enjoying it. They’re not wildly tearing through wrapping paper in a frenzy of gifts-gifts-gifts, without having an appreciation for what they received as well as who gave it to them.” Does that sound too good to be true? A less material holiday season can happen, says Audrey Kteily, Ph.D., a parenting expert with Coppell Family Therapy. “It starts with how you set the tone for the season ahead. The holidays are a time for togetherness, warmth, kindness and giving. Often, the focus is on the wrong things.” That’s why experience gifts are a good option. “It really isn’t all about the stuff,” Kteily emphasizes. “Material items will not last, but experiences and family memories will.” Dorothy says the fact that they started experiential gift giving when her kids were very young definitely helped. “I think if we had waited, it would have been near impossible to get them to not focus on the next toy to open.”

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FAMILY TIME: ©I ©ISTOCK

“MATERIAL ITEMS WILL NOT LAST, BUT EXPERIENCES AND FAMILY MEMORIES WILL.”


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Holiday

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Playing Santa isn’t easy, but with a little help from our holiday gift guide you can check off your gift list for children, teachers, neighbors or anyone nice. Let the shopping begin and snatch up these unique holiday gifts.

Sissies Adventure Series, $36 Pack your bags—the Sissies are going on vacation! Join the Sissies as they visit the sea, the mountains, and Mexico. Written by Marisa Howard. bookstore.weeva.com/products/bundlesissies-adventure-series

3 Vetro Help Create Ornament Events Vetro Glassblowing Studio & Fine Art Gallery

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4 Texas and Variety Baskets Vending Nut Company, $33.95–$58.95

’Tis the season to go nuts! Gifts for all occasions and great stocking stuffers. We carry assorted nuts, chocolates, dried fruits, and candies. vendingnutco.com

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6 Reunion Tower tickets Reunion Tower

Give the gift of Dallas at 470 feet and enjoy endless photo ops with the best view in town! Visit our website for upcoming events to make the gift extra special! reuniontower.com

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kid culture / S E A S O N ’ S

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MEANINGS

CHANGE OF HEART If you are hoping to make a change to your holiday celebrations— and help your kids have a less greedy, more grateful approach to the season—this may be a good year to do it. “I think that this year brought so many changes already that families can take advantage of that and change the way they celebrate the holidays as well,” shares Paula Brañez, a kids life coach with allUneedisU Kids Life Studio in McKinney. “Our children have shown us that they are more flexible and resilient than we think.” I saw something online that said if you need to cut back on presents this year, tell your kids that Santa didn’t survive the pandemic. Obviously (hopefully it’s obvious) that’s a joke. Brañez recommends honesty if you need to prepare your child for a significant change. “By having an open conversation and speaking from the heart, parents can set up their children to be open for a change,” she says. “The kids will receive the message in the way the parents deliver it. If parents feel guilty that they can’t give the kids as much, the kids will receive the message with a negative connotation.” Even if it’s not a matter of need driving a decreased gift haul, but simply a desire to embrace a more meaningful approach to the holiday,

one smile at a time!

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Being with extended family and dear friends is one of the most meaningful parts of the holiday season. Many people are altering their plans in light of COVID—but if you are heading to Grandma’s house or hosting a gathering, there are precautions you can take to lower your risk. Here are some recommendations from Dr. Miguel Benet, division chief medical officer for Medical City Healthcare:

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in your own car with immediate family members,” notes Benet. “Traveling by air can bring you in close contact with other people and frequently touched surfaces, since it requires time spent in security lines and airport terminals.” When it comes to the risks during an actual flight, Benet points to a recent report by the Journal of the American Medical Association. “It shows that because of how air circulates and is filtered on airplanes, the risk of contracting COVID-19 during air travel is low,” shares Benet. “However, passengers may have to sit close together, sometimes for hours, making social distancing difficult.” The report says steps passengers can take to increase their safety include wearing a mask, limiting carry-on baggage and adjusting the overhead air nozzle to point straight at their head on the highest level of air flow. Stay seated when possible, and wash or sanitize your hands often. (Keep your hands out of your face, too.) One more thing: The report notes that the risk of getting COVID-19 during air travel is lower than the risk from an office building, classroom, grocery store or commuter train.

• GATHERINGS: Benet emphasizes that the safest gatherings involve those

who already live in your house. “For [gatherings with] other family members who may have been socially distanced at home for 10–14 days or tested negative for COVID-19 just prior to the gathering, be creative when arranging tables, chairs or other furniture so it is easier to stay six feet apart,” Benet advises. “Invite people to serve themselves using their own, unused utensils.” If you’re looking to keep kiddos busy during those gatherings, Benet recommends activities that allow for distancing, such as Frisbee, catch or sidewalk chalk. (Let’s cross our fingers that it won’t be too cold out!)

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THE ART OF WINSLOW HOMER AND FREDERIC REMINGTON

DECEMBER 22, 2020–FEBRUARY 28, 2021 CARTERMUSEUM.ORG/MYTHMAKERS #MYTHMAKERS Images (details): Winslow Homer (1836–1910), West Point, Prout’s Neck, 1900, oil on canvas, Clark Art Institute, Williamstown, Massachusetts, 1955.7; Frederic Remington (1861–1909), The Stampede, 1908, oil on canvas, Gilcrease Museum, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Gift of the Thomas Gilcrease Foundation, 1955 0127.2329 Mythmakers: The Art of Winslow Homer and Frederic Remington is organized by the Amon Carter Museum of American Art, the Denver Art Museum, and the Portland Museum of Art, Maine. The national tour sponsorship is generously provided by Bank of America. This exhibition is supported by an indemnity from the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities; by the National Endowment for the Humanities: Exploring the human endeavor; and by the Wyeth Foundation for American Art. The Carter’s presentation of Mythmakers is generously supportedby the Mr. and Mrs. Raymond J. Horowitz Foundation for the Arts, the Texas Commission on the Arts, and the Alice L. Walton Foundation Temporary Exhibitions Endowment.

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kid culture / S E A S O N ’ S don’t underestimate kids’ ability to understand. “Parents can explain the reasoning behind the positive change they want to do,” Brañez suggests. “They can explain to children that this year showed us that material things are not a priority—most of the families survived with just the basics.” Whatever your motivation for scaling back on all the things, there’s good news: Research indicates that giving your children fewer toys is actually good for them. A recent study out of the University of Toledo showed that an excess of toys lowers the quality of toddlers’ play, a critical component in development. A University of Missouri study suggests that parents who give their kids all the toys and gadgets they put on their wish lists may be setting them to become materialistic adults.

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INTRODUCTORY LESSONS

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Presbyterian staff put in and all the love they give to make sure these sick babies thrive and make it home to their families,” she explains. For Carranza, it’s all about leading by example. “My children see the good things we do for people and hopefully one day they will too,” she says. “My youngest is still a baby, but we always tell my middle son how important it is to be kind. My daughter has a huge heart. She helps me with anything she can and always thinks of others.” In addition to modeling generosity for your children, you can ask them how they want to contribute and give back. Kteily suggests sharing with your child something like, “This season, many people won’t have a fine dinner on the table or presents for their children. How can we help them?” You can also foster A NEW FOCUS giving within your own To help your children family. Jessica Schmulen get on board with a Williams, a Colleyville holiday that’s not so selfmom featured in our centered (and inspires story about holiday both giving and gratiHere are additional suggestions from our traditions (see “Happier tude) you have to take Holidays,” page 11), experts for a less material holiday: charge, mama. “When told us about something Want to quit buying so many things the I was a child, my family she and her husband kids won’t really care about five minutes showed me what it was do each year with their after opening them? “Give your kids a like to give back, and it children. “When we structured template for their holiday inspired me to do the put up the tree, we set wish list,” suggests Audrey Kteily, a same thing,” says Shauna up three boxes that we counselor with Coppell Family Therapy. Carranza, a Carrollton call ‘sibling boxes,’” she “Ask them to list, say, one tech item, mom of three. “I always says. “In December, we three toys, two experiences and one way take each child shopenjoyed the feeling of they want to help others.” making someone else ping so they can use happy. I started young When you can’t afford a bigger gift haul, their allowance money and it stuck with me.” be especially thoughtful about what you to buy presents for their With Isabella, 10, siblings. They wrap do give. “Parents can buy one thing the Thiago, 6, and Andre, 7 the presents and leave child wants, and then buy something months, Carranza takes them in the boxes. It for the family so they can play together the same approach her empowers them to be and have fun. That will change the parents and grandpargenerous. They like to environment and add joy to the day,” ents did—visibly serving see each other happy. It’s says Paula Brañez, a kids life coach who and giving back, espereally one of their very practices in McKinney. cially during the holifavorite things about the days. The Carranzas typ- Here’s an easy, meaningful gift that’s not holidays.” another thing: “Parents can write notes ically “adopt” a family in And it’s important need for Christmas; after for the stockings, a short memory about to keep the focus on each child that left a beautiful trace in their youngest was born others going, even after their heart,” recommends Brañez. at 22 weeks and spent the tree comes down 154 days in the NICU, and kids are back in they are raising money school. Kteily notes, to buy mamaRoo chairs “Encouraging these for preemies in the unit. “We want to show ideas all year long will help shape the focus for our gratitude for all the hard work the Plano the next holiday.”

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MEANINGS


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Plan a stay-cation at the picturesque Twin Coves Park in Flower Mound! The park boasts 19 furnished cabins and 22 RV slips, in addition to a variety of other amenities including a small craft launch boat ramp, and much more. Families and can enjoy a variety of features including office/camp store, playground, two large pavilions, grass volleyball court, horseshoes and washer game sets, four-hole disc golf course, nature trails, and a lake overlook area with a fire pit and seating. Online reservations for cabin, RV, and tent site rentals can be made through the park website or by phone. 5001 Wichita Trail Flower Mound, TX 75022 twincoves@flower-mound.com 972.874.6399 / twincovespark.com

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STEM GUIDE //

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

STEM G U I D E

Parents know careers in science are growing at a rapid rate. From critical thinking games and hands-on labs to robotics and coding—you are anxious to give your budding inventor, entrepreneur or scientist an integrated education. Explore these STEM programs to help prepare your child for a future in technology.

A Hive of Creativity Alcuin’s Innovation Studio, known as The HIVE, is a high tech, state-ofthe-art facility open to first grade through Upper School students and is designed to promote educational success through a high-tech interactive learning environment that stimulates imagination, creativity, innovation, and leadership exploration. The HIVE is equipped with a variety of advanced technological supplies and tools for students to collaborate, innovate, and execute projects including six 3-D printers, a Glow Forge laser cutter, a presentation theatre, and beginner to advanced-level robotics equipment. The HIVE is also home to the Alcuin Innovative and Entrepreneurial Leadership Speaker Series, allowing students to interact with today’s business and community leaders. Alcuin School 6144 Churchill Way, Dallas, TX 75230 972-239-1745 alcuinschool.org

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STEM GUIDE //

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

STEM at Every Level All Saints’ provides hands-on, creative ways to encourage students to design, experiment, build and invent as they deeply engage in science, engineering and tinkering. Early Childhood students partner with BRIT for monthly outdoor learning units and get hands-on in the Tinkertorium; Lower and Middle School students take advantage of project-based learning in the new Exploratorium and Robotics Lab, and Upper School students can venture into a Forensics class or take the lead with our nationally-ranked Solar Car. Opportunities for experimentation at every level today build the solution-oriented, entrepreneurial leaders of tomorrow.

All Saints’ Episcopal School 9700 Saints Circle Fort Worth, TX 76108 817-560-5700 aseschool.org/Curious

New Museum in Irving has it all! STEM, Invention Lab, History and so much more! We’re open! Bring your bubble to experience the new award-winning Irving Archives & Museum. Open Wednesday–Friday, 10AM–4PM. Reservations required. Call or visit our website to make reservations. Visitors have the opportunity to explore Irving’s pioneer past and multicultural present. IAM’s primary goal is to connect with the community in an environment that welcomes every one, IAM also brings a first-of-itskind to Texas, a Smithsonian Spark!Lab. In Spark!Lab, we believe everyone is inventive. Every day we provide opportunities for children and families to explore their inventive creativity—to create, innovate, collaborate, and problem-solve—because these experiences empower kids to develop the skills and confidence they need to succeed today and in the future. Irving Archives and Museum 801 W. Irving Blvd., Irving, TX 75060 972-721-3714 irvingarchivesandmuseum.com

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STEM GUIDE //

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

We start early encouraging exploration and building STEM skills As children grow in Fort Worth ISD, hands-on challenges and opportunities grow with them. Every step of our STEM-related pathways prepares students for college and the modern workplace. Take our Gold Seal P-TECH (Pathways in Technology) Early College High Schools. These partnerships with industry provide work-based learning that leads to internships, certifications a high school diploma and an associate degree—tuition free! Explore for yourself and apply now at fwisd.org/choice. Fort Worth Independent School District 100 N. University Dr., Fort Worth, TX 76107 817-814-2000 fwisd.org/choice

Prince of Peace Christian School — Home of the POPCS SmartLab Prince of Peace Christian School’s SmartLab® is an immersive learning environment where students delve into science, mathematics, engineering, technology, and media arts through applied technology and project-based learning. There are 400+ STEM learning experiences in 60+ content areas. Students use technology and learn to engage in creating instead of passive consumption. Through a problem-based approach, students develop critical-thinking skills, collaboration, and problem-solving. They grasp tenacity and that it is OK to fail. Each process brings new ways to develop solutions. Additionally, the POPCS Digital Media Lab gives students a broadcast production studio opening a creative avenue to numerous multimedia experiences. Prince of Peace Christian School 4004 Midway Road Carrollton, TX 75007 popcs.org

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STEM GUIDE //

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Inspiring STEM Learning in the Classroom The Martin Science Exploration Center at Southwest Christian School allows students to experience hands-on learning in conjunction with the science curriculum taught in the classroom. This unique lab opportunity gives our students a STEM learning environment where they can use their natural curiosity to be problem solvers, critical thinkers and innovators. Additionally, our Living Science Center (the Farm), provides an outdoor classroom that focuses on both life and earth sciences. Students work on projects including organic gardening, composting, sustainable agriculture, water conservation and greenhouse vegetable farming to name a few. Visit us to learn more, southwestchristian.org. Southwest Christian School 6801 Dan Danciger Road Fort Worth, TX 76133 southwestchristian.org

Discover the Baylor School Difference Talented teachers, high academic standards, and the development of leadership skills in a coed day and boarding community are the hallmarks of a Baylor School education. Our advanced research classes in engineering, molecular biology, and environmental science are taught by experienced faculty in state-of-the-art labs designed for students who are serious about science. Baylor School 171 Baylor School Rd. Chattanooga, TN 37405 423-267-5902 baylorschool.org

Authentic and Experiential STEAM Fort Worth Academy is the leading K–8 private school in Tarrant County. Our teachers are dedicated to providing experiences focused on entrepreneurship, leadership, and innovation. We challenge students through a collaborative approach that rewards intellectual risk-taking and encourages the pursuit of excellence. FWA’s learning environment prepares children for the future by teaching them how to learn, problem solve, and lead. Fort Worth Academy 7301 Dutch Branch Rd., Fort Worth, TX 76132 817-370-1191 fwacademy.org

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STEM GUIDE //

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

The Innovative St. John’s STEM Experience At St. John’s, every student from PK-8th grade is engaged in our innovative project-based STEM curriculum and builds fluency across these disciplines to master the skills they will need to lead the next generation of scientists, engineers, architects, graphics artists, and more. Our academic program inspires children to engage in real-world learning for the purpose of discovery and in pursuit of their dreams. St. John’s Episcopal School 848 Harter Rd., Dallas, TX 75218 214-328-9131 stjohnsschool.org

Home of the SmartLab®. As a leader in advanced education methods, STEM, STEAM, and STREAM are incorporated into the curriculum and enhanced through the SmartLab®. Students explore many disciplines through applied technology and project-based learning, building next generation skills. Activities include robotics, graphic design, biomedical, animation, engineering, music, circuitry, virtual reality, and more. Schedule a visit and learn how tradition meets innovation in preschool–8th grade.

St. Mark Catholic School 1201 Alma Drive, Plano, TX 75075 972-578-0610 stmcs.net

TVS Middle School Students Enjoy Mind Makers this Fall! Mind Makers focuses on honing the skills of learning, goal-setting, and communicating clearly. This fall, students built “robots” that use sensors to hand out candy, and they wrote code to build pumpkins. We want students to understand that success in academics, critical thinking, and knowledge application requires a symphony of learnable skills. Trinity Valley School 7500 Dutch Branch Road Fort Worth, TX 76132 tvs.org

Shelton STEM+ Full STEAM Ahead Fostering exploration, innovation, creation, collaboration. Something for everyone: Robotics Team, Grades 6–8 • Coding, Grade 1 and above • Augmented Reality, Virtual Reality • HTML and web design • Maker space, 3D design, modeling and printing • Engineering classes/club • Problem-solving experiences • Gaming and 3D Animation • Robust summer and after-school activities • Expansive fine arts Shelton School & Evaluation Center 17301 Preston Rd., Dallas, TX 75252 972-774-1772 • shelton.org

dfwchild.com / december 2020

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11/10/20 2:44 PM


people+places.

WOMAN: ©ISTOCK

families of DFW /

JANET ST. JAMES life after a cancer diagnosis

WORDS AS TOLD BY JANET ST. JAMES

I

DON’T THINK HEARING cancer, for anyone, is easy under any circumstances. Covering health and medicine for so many years. I always knew that cancer can happen to anyone, so why not me? I’m the fourth in my immediate family of seven to be diagEDITORS NOTE / Janet St. nosed with cancer. My dad had prostate cancer, my mom James—a former journalist who now had stage 0 breast cancer, and one of my four brothers was works at Medical City Healthcare— diagnosed with testicular cancer. So I knew it could happen has metastatic breast cancer. She to anyone, especially in my family. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t spoke to us about how the diagnosis scared. I admit that I broke down in the car after diagnosis. has affected her life. My diagnosis came the week before I started with Medical City Healthcare—that week when you’re going out and buying new clothes, a new purse and doing those last-minute doctor appointments in advance of starting a new job. Not until the Friday dfwchild.com / december 2020

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people + places / J A N E T

S T. J A M E S

before I was to start did I really know what I was going to be dealing with. I was unsure if Medical City Healthcare would want me under these circumstances. But from day one, they said, “You’re part of our family now.” They opened their arms. They showed me how a company could truly care like family and my needs have always come first. My background helped in the way I approached the disease. I was very well educated from 25 years as a journalist, about 15 of those years covering health and medicine for WFAA. Also, because I had dense breast tissue, I was already in a breast specialist’s care. But there are so many choices once you’re diagnosed with cancer; until you need to know it, there’s so much you don’t know about the nuances of cancer and cancer treatment. I definitely needed to draw upon those years of covering health and use the connections that I had developed. Honestly, even with all of that background, it’s still not enough to manage the overwhelming feelings at diagnosis. Then, hearing that you have what’s considered a terminal cancer takes your breath away. I’m still processing it. I listen to my body and make decisions to the best of my ability. But I struggle with the mental aspect of cancer every day. Some days I feel completely normal and other days I feel like I’m just trying to make it to the next minute. My oldest child, Jackson, is 21. Olivia just turned 20, and my youngest, Luke, is 18. At initial diagnosis, my children were in middle school and high school. I’m a realist and I’ve never disguised the facts. I think that has helped my kids. They know that they can ask any question and that I’ll be open in my answer. In addition, because they were teenagers, they were distracted by school and friends, and that sort of normalcy helped them. And that was just fine with me. My husband Jack has been supportive in keeping our lives feeling as normal as possible. 64

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

It’s still emotional, of course. When I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in November 2018, it was just before the holidays. I didn’t know if medication was going to work or for how long. So as we started to put up the holiday decorations at our home, for what I didn’t know might be the last time, it was hard for me. And for my kids. My son Luke got a speeding ticket rushing home to help decorate the tree because I was in such an emotional state. I’m happy to say that I got to put the Christmas tree up again last year and it was a much happier experience. Everybody tells you that cancer is going to change you in different ways, but I was solid in my beliefs prior to diagnosis. That’s probably a credit to the solid upbringing I had from my parents, who are now in their 80s and living in North Texas. I can tell you that my patience has changed. In some ways, I’m more patient. I can sit in a waiting room for a long period or a traffic jam, with patience I didn’t have before. On the other hand, I don’t have patience to wait to experience things before time runs out. We had a trip to Italy booked in April to ensure that I could experience it while I am still feeling well—and then COVID-19 hit and the trip was cancelled. COVID-19 has tested my patience on many levels. I feel time ticking away as I wait and work from home, trying to be patient for a vaccine or for the virus to dissipate. For anyone facing cancer or another life-threatening diagnosis, I would say that knowledge is power. Educate yourself. Listen to the advice people give you with gratitude, as it’s likely offered with the best of intentions—and then use the knowledge you’ve gathered to make your own best decision. Over the years, I have asked countless people to be honest with me for news reports so it feels right that I should do the same, hoping my honesty can help educate someone else. And, I’m a doer. I’ll just continue doing until I can’t do anymore.

ST. JAMES FAMILY: JANET ST. JAMES

ABOVE // Janet St. James says her family took a bucket-list trip to France and England last year. She planned a trip to Italy in 2020, but it has been delayed by the pandemic.


4TH ANNUAL

Project Preschool PRESENTED BY

Friday, January 15, 9am–4pm Virtually explore your preschool and child care options dfwchild.com/projectpreschool


people + places / G R E E N

SCENE

A canopy of lights shines brightly over Frisco’s annual Christmas in the Square event.

where to see spectacular lights WORDS

E M I LY Y E A R W O O D

T

IS THE SEASON for hot chocolate, garland, mistletoe and—of course— holiday lights. We’ve rounded up the best festive displays across the Metroplex, sure to bring an extra dose of cheer to your December.

Vitruvian Lights // Addison Where 3875 Ponte Ave. When Nov. 27–Jan 3; lights on 5–11pm nightly 66

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

Holiday in the Park // Arlington Where Six Flags Over Texas, 2201 E. Road to Six Flags St. When Nov. 21–Jan. 3; times vary by date; lights on at sundown What to know From festive shows to elaborately decorated Christmas trees and attractions, Six Flags Over Texas’ holiday event is back. Dance with reindeer, stroll the Merry Marketplace and slide down the (real) snowcovered hill—after hitting all the rollercoasters, of course. Tickets start at $19.99 and must be reserved online. Lights of Interlochen // Arlington Where Interlochen neighborhood, Westwood

Drive & Randol Mill Road When Mid-December–Dec. 25 at 7pm What to know The homeowners in this Arlington neighborhood know how to capture the spirit of the season, fueled by their annual light display contest. The area’s festive lights have become a must-see attraction for families in the Metroplex. Traffic is always heavy, so expect your drive through the streets to take up the whole evening.

Highland Park // Dallas Where 47 Highland Park Village (to see shopping center lights), then enter surrounding streets at Preston Road & Mockingbird Lane or at Preston Road & Armstrong Avenue When Late November–Dec. 31 at sundown What to know This is a light tour you won’t forget. For a fairytale experience, consider taking a carriage trip through Highland Park’s spectacular streets. Options include Brazos Carriage (brazoscarriage.com), Whitehaven (highlandparkcarriagetours.com) and NorthStar Carriage (dfwcarriages.com).

HOLIDAY LIGHTS: FRISCO SQUARE

HOLIDAY SPARKLE

What to know Stroll or drive through 12 acres of colorful trees at Vitruvian Park’s annual free holiday light display. Amid the pandemic, the park has decided not to host special events in conjunction with the festive lights, but visitors can enjoy more than 500 glittering trees wrapped with sparkling LED lights.


Christmas in the Branch // Farmers Branch Where Liberty Plaza, 12400 N. Stemmons Freeway When Dec. 5–Jan. 3; skating rink at StarCenter will be open Nov. 27–Jan. 3 What to know Head to Farmers Branch for a wealth of seasonal festivities. Stroll under the twinkling lights in Santa’s Village; a cinnamonscented snowy atmosphere awaits for the Dec. 5 tree lighting (which will feature two minutes of fireworks). You can also skate at the outdoor ice rink and shop the Holiday Marketplace. Gift of Lights // Fort Worth Where Texas Motor Speedway, 3545 Lone Star Circle When Nov. 26–Jan 3; Friday–Saturday 6–10pm, Sunday–Thursday 6–9pm What to know Relax and enjoy the ride as your family cruises through Fort Worth’s Gift of Lights, a 2-mile light park with millions (yes, millions) of shining bulbs. The event benefits organizations such as Ronald McDonald House Charities and Speedway Children’s Charities. Tickets start at $30 per car.

HISTORIC GRAPEVINE: GRAPEVINE CONVENTION & VISITORS BUREAU; HIGHLAND PARK VILLAGE: LAURA WILSON

Christmas in the Square // Frisco Where 8843 Coleman Blvd. When Nov. 27–Jan. 4; lights on at sundown What to know Christmas in the Square returns for its 16th year, full of family favorites and new displays. Visitors can tune to 107.3 FM on their car radio and drive through the area, or listen to the music pumped through the square while walking the free display—filled with 180,000 lights and 200 dancing snowflakes. Historic Grapevine Christmas Spectacular // Grapevine Where Downtown Grapevine and Town Square Gazebo, South Main Street When Nov. 23–Jan. 10, 9am–11pm; lights turn on at sundown What to know Enjoy more lights, animations and fun at this year’s celebration in Grapevine— the “Christmas Capital of Texas.” See hundreds of thousands of lights up and down Main Street, and daily performances by “The Chilly Dawgs” (animated snowmen); you can also hang out in Whoville at the Town Square Gazebo. And snow flurries are in the forecast! Guests 10 years and older are required to wear a mask. Prairie Lights // Grand Prairie Where Lynn Creek Park at Joe Pool Lake, 5610 Lake Ridge Parkway When Nov. 26–Dec. 31, open nightly from 6–10pm What to know Prepare to be dazzled with 4 million lights across two miles in this drive-thru holiday park. This year, Prairie Lights is rolling out hundreds of new displays along the path.

Midway through your outing, you’ll have the chance to order drinks and treats at a drive-thru concession stand. Tickets are $30 for a regular car pass; pay $99 for a fast pass that lets you avoid lines.

Deerfield Holiday Lights // Plano Where Between Preston Road and Coit Road When Dec. 1–30; 7–10pm weekdays and 7–11pm on weekends What to know This northwest Plano neighborhood has a tradition of elaborate holiday light displays. Cars and pedestrians are free to tour the streets (visit deerfieldplano.org for suggested tour routes and access points for visitors), or you can reserve a carriage to make your family’s evening that much grander (dfwcarriages.com). Ho Ho Ho Holidays in the Stockyards // Fort Worth Where Fort Worth Stockyards, 131 E. Exchange Ave. When Nov. 27–Dec. 24 What to know Enjoy a Cowboy Christmas in the Fort Worth Stockyards, with thousands of twinkling lights, a 30-foot tree, strolling carolers, socially distanced Santa photos (online reservations recommended; go to fortworthstockyards.com), a rodeo ticket giveaway and more. Holiday at the Arboretum // Dallas Where Dallas Arboretum, 8525 Garland Road When Nov. 7–Dec. 31 What to know Holiday at the Arboretum will have you feeling all warm inside even if the weather is chilly. With festive features like 25-foot-tall Victorian-style gazebos—each representing one of the 12 Days of Christmas—and the German-inspired Christmas Village, there’s something for everyone in the family to enjoy. Tickets start at $12.

Dallas Zoo Lights // Dallas Where Dallas Zoo, 650 S. R.L. Thornton Freeway When Nov. 20–Jan. 3, 6:30–9:30pm What to know Marvel at 1 million lights, elaborate displays, silk-covered animal lanterns, an ice palace and more at this year’s Dallas Zoo Lights—reimagined as a drive-thru event for social distancing. You can purchase prepackaged food and drinks—like popcorn, cotton candy and hot cocoa in a Zoo Lights cup—to enjoy along your drive. Tune into 1670 AM while you cruise the zoo to get the full experience. Prices start at $50 per car for members; $65 for nonmembers. Denton Holiday Lighting Festival // Denton Where Historic Courthouse-on-the Square lawn, 110 W. Hickory St.; streaming available at dentonholidaylighting.com When Dec. 4, 5:30–9:30pm What to know There’s no place like Denton this holiday season, where the downtown square’s lights turn on when the sun goes down. While the light display is primarily virtual this year, families can come to a drive-up spot to take a selfie with Santa in a snow globe and pick up goodies, including a swag bag with holiday arts and crafts as well as a map to local neighborhood light displays. Details are still being developed; check the holiday lighting website for updates. Lone Star Christmas at the Gaylord Texan // Grapevine Where Gaylord Texan Resort & Convention Center, 1501 Gaylord Trail When Nov. 13–Jan. 3, 6–9:30pm What to know See twinkling lights and sparkling décor as your family walks through the Gaylord Texan’s 50,000 square-foot outdoor attraction—filled with colorful and glowing holiday scenes. Step inside to enjoy the resort’s 4-acre atrium, with 2 million lights, 15,000 ornaments and a Polar Express train set. Masks and social distancing are required; tickets start at $10 and must be purchased online. Holiday Fun at Highland Village // Highland Village Where The Shops at Highland Village, 1701 Shoal Creek When Nov. 17–Jan. 2; light-and-music show on the hour from 6–9pm What to know Prepare to be dazzled with this Denton County shopping center’s Holiday Light Show Spectacular. Featuring a 60-foot Christmas tree and 245,300 LED lights synchronized with holiday music, the show offers up plenty of seasonal cheer. To make it an extra special evening, take advantage of complimentary horse-drawn carriage rides Friday–Sunday, Nov. 27–Dec. 20 (masks required).

ABOVE // Start your Highland Park light tour at Highland Park Village shopping center.

Editor’s note: Find more can’t-miss holiday light displays and other seasonal events in Dallas-Fort Worth on dfwchild.com. dfwchild.com / december 2020

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HOLIDAY FAMILY FUN DIRECTORY //

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

Holiday FAMILY FUN DIRECTORY

Whether your thing is hot chocolate in your jammies or dressing up for a holiday theater performance, here’s a list of family-friendly events and winter activities to get you in the holiday spirit. DESCRIPTION

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1

Adventure Kids Playcare adventurekidsplaycare.com

Holidays are more fun at Adventure Kids! Holiday break features new themes each day with some of our favorite themes: Cookie Combustion, Reindeer Games, Maker Mania, NY Glow Party and more! See ad on page 17.

2

Amon Carter Museum of American Art cartermuseum.org/membership 817/738-1933

Get jolly with Virtual Merry Members on December 5 exclusively for Carter members featuring personalized videos from Santa, holiday storytelling, and art-making. Become a Carter Family member to join in on the festive fun. See ads on pages 43 and 53.

3

Christmas at the Beach littleelmspecialevents.com 972/731-3296

The Town of Little Elm is your go-to destination for family fun holiday activities this year! From Christmas at the Beach to an Elf Village, and even a magical drive-thru light display, Little Elm, TX is the place to be this holiday season.

4

The City of Highland Village hvparks.com 972/317-7430

Take a stroll through Doubletree Ranch Park to see beautiful holiday lights and decorations. Enjoy the magic of the season with your family and friends all through the month of December! See ad on page 21.

5

Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Garden dallasarboretum.org 214/515-6615

Holiday at the Arboretum featuring the 12 Days of Christmas exhibit and retun of the popular Christmas Village, November 27–December 31. Nightly visits with Santa start November 27. Timed tickets required. No walk-ups allowed. Face coverings required for all guests, for ages 5 and older. See ad on page 13.

6

Denton Holiday Lighting Festival dentonholidaylighting.com 940/231-6831

This year our festival will kick off the holiday spirit in Denton a little differently. We will be offering a drive up location to grab a gift bag and photo with Santa. Digital concerts and neighborhood lighting.

7

Farmers Branch Parks and Recreation christmasinthebranch.com 972/919-2639

Christmas in the Branch. Celebrate holiday festivities in Farmers Branch! Enjoy skating under the stars at our outdoor ice skating rink. Stroll under twinkling lights in Santa’s Village. Shop at our holiday marketplace at The Grove. See ad on page 16.

8

Fort Worth Zoo fortworthzoo.org 817/759-7555

Enjoy family time this holiday season at the Fort Worth Zoo. Give a Zoo membership now and enjoy later with yearlong access and perks like free parking. Simply activate the adventure anytime before September 30. See ads on pages 10 and 51.

9

Gaylord Texan Resort christmasatgaylordtexan.com 817/778-1000

Gaylord Texan’s 17th annual Lone Star Christmas events include a brand-new marquee pop-up exhibition, “I Love Christmas Movies”; and a brand-new outdoor holiday lanterns attraction, Yuletide Bright in addition to fan-favorite activities including snow tubing, ice skating, gingerbread decorating, and more!

december 2020 / dfwchild.com


HOLIDAY FAMILY FUN DIRECTORY //

SPECIAL ADVERTISING SECTION

DESCRIPTION

Grapevine Convention & Visitors Bureau grapevinetexasusa.com/christmas 817/410-3185

Celebrate the magic of Christmas in Grapevine, the Christmas Capital of Texas®! With 40 days of Christmas events, such as millions of lights, enormous decorations, classic Christmas movies and more, it’s easy to see why it’s more merry in Grapevine! See ad on page 48.

11

Heritage Farmstead Museum heritagefarmstead.org 972/881-0140

Texas Prairie Christmas on December 10, 11, and 12 from 6pm until 10pm. Tour the 1920s holiday themed Farrell Wilson House. Enjoy a socially distanced visit with Santa in the historic pole barn. Take a ride across the prairie on our Texas mule wagon. See ad on page 31.

12

Hilton Anatole christmasattheanatole.com 214/748-1200

Christmas at the Anatole presents Breakfast with Santa. Enjoy night-before-breakfast activities with Santa and Mrs. Claus, including a family photo with a live reindeer and s’mores by the outdoor fire pit. Book your Breakfast with Santa or Santa Suite package today!

13

Irving Arts Center irvingartscenter.com 972/252-7558

Explore Irving Arts Center online or in-person this holiday season! We have our 28th Annual Holiday Tree Decorating Competition Exhibition, online Santa Saturdays with readings from special guests and our monthly kid’s art activities online. It's free holiday fun for the family! See ad on page 21.

14

Luminova Holidays luminovaholidays.com

Surrounded by millions of dazzling lights, Luminova Holidays will brighten up your 2020! Visit Santa, ice skate on an outdoor pond, snap pictures with family around larger-than-life light displays in a socially safe way.

15

Museum of the American Railroad historictrains.org 214/428-0101

Get into the holiday spirit at the Museum of the American Railroad's TrainTopia—a miniature world of trains! Mask up and enjoy an operating G-Scale train layout that journeys through Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas (including a miniature downtown Dallas). Fun for the family!

16

NorthPark Center northparkcenter.com 214/363-7441

Shop for all the gifts on your list and enjoy your favorite traditions, including The Trains at NorthPark, festive plantings, decor, live music, beautiful lights, and more. Visits with Santa Claus are going virtual, with a reimagined experience benefiting Children’s Health. See ad on pages 2 and 3.

17

Panther Island Ice pantherislandice.com 682/704-7711

Panther Island Ice returns this holiday season! Fort Worth’s outdoor ice skating rink will operate 7 days a week at Coyote Drive-In from November 20 through January 18 including all holidays! Enjoy the real ice, full menu, and more. Advanced tickets required at pantherislandice.com.

18

Reunion Tower reuniontower.com 214/712-7040

Sprinkle the holiday cheer from 470 feet above Dallas! Let your creativity shine as bright as the Ball during our holiday-themed paint nights. Visit our website for dates and other upcoming events.

19

Fort Worth Stockyards fortworthstockyards.com 817/710-7365

Celebrate the holidays Stockyards style December 1-24. Holiday gift giveaway, photos with Cowboy Santa, holiday lights, 30’ Christmas tree, live music, endless entertainment, good food and so much more! Visit fortworthstockyards.com. See ad on page 28.

The Shops at Highland Village theshopsathighlandvillage.com 972/317-7500

Enjoy horse drawn carriage rides, nightly Christmas tree lightings, Victorian Carolers, sneaky elves, and more at The Shops this holiday season. Spend $250 in retail/AMC sales and receive a $25 restaurant gift card from December 4–13. Visit website for full event details. See ad on page 62.

21

The Trains at NorthPark thetrainsatnorthpark.com 214/631-7354

All aboard! From November 14, 2020–January 3, 2021, support the Ronald McDonald House of Dallas while enjoying the best train exhibit in DFW. For COVID-19 protocols or exhibit hours, visitthetrainsatnorthpark.com. See ad on page 6.

22

Twin Coves Park & Campground twincovespark.com 972/874-6399

Twin Coves Park is a great place to explore the great outdoors this winter with friends and family! Take a hike on the walking trails and enjoy the view by the campfire. See ad on page 55.

23

Vetro Glassblowing Studio & Fine Art Gallery vetroartglass.com 817/251-1668

Create your own hand-blown glass ornaments at Vetro Glassblowing Studio this holiday season! Or visit our onsite Fine Art Gallery to purchase beautiful artist-made ornaments, along with fine art glass jewelry, lighting, sculptures, and more. See ads on pages 19 and 51.

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dfwchild.com / december 2020

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confessions

MOM TRUTHS ILLUSTRATION MARY DUNN

EVERY TIME OUR FAMILY GOES AND LOOKS AT CHRISTMAS LIGHTS, WE BRING A BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS. WHENEVER WE SEE A NATIVITY SCENE, WE EACH EAT A MARSHMALLOW. MY SON SHOUTS, ‘I SEE BABY JESUS! CAN I HAVE A MELLMASHOW?’’’ —JADAH, LEWISVILLE

Got a funny or heartwarming moment to share? We’d love to hear from you. Send it to editorial@dfwchild.com. 70

CO M P I L E D BY E M I LY Y E A R W O O D

“My dad had to have cataract surgery, and I told my 6-year-old son to let him know we were praying for him. ‘I prayed for you,’ my son said to his grandpa. ‘Oh, thank you,’ my dad replied. ‘That means so much to me.’ My son quickly added, ‘Well, I actually haven’t prayed for you yet.’ That made us all crack up.”—ALEXIS, NORTH RICHLAND HILLS “Every year, COVID notwithstanding, we host extended family gatherings in our home—because our son, who has autism, loves to throw things in the air. Gifts aren’t under our tree until 11:59pm Christmas Eve because he loves opening any and all wrapped gifts he sees. For family, the mad dash begins on arrival: ‘Hurry! The bedroom is unlocked, so throw the gifts in there!’ Merry Christmas!”

“After working with my son for months in the spring on using the microwave to make his own breakfast, I was finally rewarded. When he told me he was hungry, I told him to go and make his breakfast. He got the pizza rolls, put them on a plate and into the microwave. Not only does this new skill make him more independent, it also lightens my load!”

DAUGHTER, 14, HAS EPILEPSY

—RHONDA, GRAND PRAIRIE. HER

—BETHANY, KELLER. HER

AND HER SON, 11, HAS AUTISM.

SON HAS AUTISM AND SPEECH IMPAIRMENT.

I told my son that I got him Bagel Bites for dinner because he did great in school today. He got upset because he thought I said I got him ‘Big ol’ Bites’—and he didn’t want a giant pizza, he wanted tiny pizzas.”—ANGELA, IRVING

december 2020 / dfwchild.com

WE HAVE FISH STICKS AT OUR HOUSE FOR DINNER ABOUT THREE NIGHTS OUT OF SEVEN. I’VE STOPPED RESISTING IT. THE KIDS LOVE THEM, AND THERE’S SOME PROTEIN IN THEM. IT’S A BATTLE WE CAN NO LONGER FIGHT OR WIN. VIVE LA FISH STICK!” —HEATHER, ROCKWALL


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Sales Event

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Enjoy a safer season with exceptional Volvo offers from Park Place. From socially distanced get-togethers to the drive home, we’re all looking for peace of mind during the holidays. Which makes the Holiday Safely Sales Event the perfect time to add a Volvo to your list. You’ll find the year’s best pricing on Volvos with advanced safety features to protect you and your loved ones. Plus, you’ll enjoy the gift of personal attention and a dedication to your well-being that makes Park Place feel like Your Place.

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