DFWChild Guide to Early Childhood

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WThe Magic Years

WORDS AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER

HAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR CAN MAKE

or two or three or four. I notice it especially when I look at my two boys. Never in life will their three-year age gap make such a difference as it does in these earliest years. One’s mastering chapter books and the other is working on holding a cup.

It’s truly amazing the growth and development that happens in early childhood. In the first five years of life, a child’s brain makes millions of new connections, developing faster than at any other time. And incredibly, 90% of their brain growth will happen before they start kindergarten.

For kids—and for parents—these years are full of milestones. They go from toddling to running, from babbling to talking and then reading and writing. They learn to use the potty, to tie their shoes, to forge friendships and problem-solve. These years lay the foundation for a child’s education, emotional intelligence and mental health.

And so we hope this guide will help you make the most of early childhood. From school readiness to the importance of play to social emotional learning, we take you through key milestones and common questions with tips and advice from local experts.

But before you dig in, I’ll leave you with what I’ve learned about raising littles—yes, these years are important, but they’re fun and fleeting too. To your dismay, your kiddos will become a bit less little and bit more independent every day. It will make you both beam with pride and break your heart.

Indeed, these are the magic years. Buckle up, mom and dad.

BELOW // Amanda Collins Bernier, managing editor, with her sons Max and Owen.

Social Studies

An early childhood guide to social and emotional learning at home

WORDS KATELIN WALLING

WHEN YOU FIRST BROUGHT YOUR LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY HOME, did you begin to daydream about who they’ll grow up to be? Will they have confidence, self-worth and empathy? Will they become happy, thoughtful, successful adults?

This life you hope for boils down to developing social and emotional skills—things that in childhood look like making friends, sharing toys and recognizing feelings. And through social emotional learning (SEL), children start acquiring these skills earlier than you might think.

But what, exactly, is social emotional learning? Simply put, think of SEL as the building blocks of emotional intelligence, which encompasses the soft skills that are needed for success at all ages in life. In fact, Sara Loftin, a clinical therapist with

Children’s Health in Dallas, says SEL is “important because it’s how a child becomes a functioning member of society.”

MILESTONES AND REINFORCING SEL

The reality is the early years are most vital in developing these skills, Loftin says—90% of a child’s brain is developed before they enter kindergarten, and it triples in size by the time they turn 3. While each child develops at a different pace, here are the social milestones you can typically expect in early

years, and how to foster these skills at home.

NEWBORN TO 1: BUILDING CONNECTION AND TRUST

This stage of your baby’s SEL is all about connection, attachment, and building trust, particularly with their parents and caregivers, Loftin says.

Newborns communicate their feelings with their body and crying and respond to your touch. Around 6 months, a more reciprocal relationship starts to develop; your baby begins to smile back at and interact with you. Around 9 months, they begin to experience separation and stranger anxiety, which is a positive sign of attachment.

Reinforcing SEL: Respond to baby’s cues and cries. “What you’re doing is building that trust and safety in their brain that, when I am crying, someone’s going to come to me,” says Tiffany Self, a professional learning partner at Big Thought, a Dallas-based nonprofit that works with youth to develop SEL. You can also mirror their emotions by reflecting feelings with words or facial expressions.

UP TO 90% OF A CHILD’S BRAIN IS DEVELOPED BEFORE THEY ENTER KINDERGARTEN, AND IT TRIPLES IN SIZE BY THE TIME THEY TURN 3.

AGE 2: DEVELOPING INDEPENDENCE AND DEFIANCE

At 2, your tot starts to develop autonomy and learns how they’re able to influence their environment, Self says. They may insist on pouring their own milk. Perhaps they resist you putting on their shoes. If they roll the ball to you, will you roll it back to them?

Two-year-olds also start to become defiant. While it may be frustrating, it would be a red flag if they didn’t start to test boundaries. Your tot is also beginning to be more aware of the people around them and will start to engage in parallel play.

Reinforcing SEL: Allow your kiddo to assist you with different tasks around the home. If your little one wants to help fold laundry, let them—yes, even if it’s not done how you would do it. Take a moment to breathe and remember that letting your kiddo help, even if you have to redo it later when they’re not in the room, builds self-motivation and self-esteem.

To help manage defiance and set boundaries, Loftin suggests using ACT: acknowledge your little one’s feelings, communicate the limit and target alternatives to teach them how to express feelings appropriately. For example, “I know you are so mad, but that book is not for throwing. You can choose to stomp your feet or clench your fists to show me how mad you are.”

AGE 3: GROWING INDEPENDENCE AND BIG FEELINGS

The prefrontal cortex, where emotion regulation happens, grows a lot between ages 2–3, so 3-yearolds experience a lot of big feelings, Loftin says. Since toddlers can’t think rationally or regulate emotions, they’re often in a state of fight or flight, which is when tantrums occur.

Kids this age search for more independence. If they see Mom writing out a grocery list, they may scribble their own list. But as they try to do things and find they have trouble, like they can’t open a granola bar at snack time, they easily get frustrated.

Reinforcing SEL: Continue to reflect your little one’s feelings and set boundaries using ACT. To help prepare your kiddo for friendships, encourage sharing and taking turns, even if it doesn’t happen all the time.

If they scribble out their own list or they want to help around the house, acknowledge what they’re doing and keep letting them practice so they can eventually learn how to do it correctly, Self recommends.

AGE 4: BECOMING MORE SOCIAL, BUILDING CREATIVITY

Four-year-olds start to become more social. They also engage with more imaginary play but may confuse fantasy with reality. Kids this age also start to implement what they’ve learned in the years before, Loftin says.

Reinforcing SEL: When it comes to play time, be present, let your little one lead and join them in their fantasy world to foster their creativity. It’s also a good idea to schedule play time with other children or enroll your child in one or two age-appropriate extracurricular activities so they can practice their social skills. Just be sure to not overschedule your kiddo.

AGE 5: BECOMING MORE COOPERATIVE, BUILDING FRIENDSHIPS

Loftin says children are typically a bit more cooperative at age 5, though not always. They also tend to seek out friendships a bit more at this age and may start exhibiting different behaviors in an effort to please their friends.

Five-year-olds also begin to know the difference between fantasy and reality, desire new experiences, and really start to show what they’re learning.

Reinforcing SEL: Continue to help your kiddo with identifying, managing and expressing their feelings, as well as setting boundaries. This is especially important as they start to build friendships. It’s also a good idea to reinforce their positive behaviors and characteristics by pointing them out.

One final tip from Loftin that applies no matter what age your child? Be a thermostat, not a thermometer. “Whereas a thermometer takes on the temperature around them and rises with the temperature, a thermostat really sets the temperature in the room and helps the child come down to where you are. So we want to reflect their feelings, but we want to remain cool, calm and collected and not take those feelings on,” she says.

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Preschool Prep

How to best prepare your little one for a successful start of school

WORDS GINA MAYFIELD

STARTING PRESCHOOL MARKS AN IMPORTANT MILESTONE not just for children, but for their parents too. New beginnings mean new experiences and routines for the whole family, so you’ll want to be prepared to make the transition to preschool—and then to kindergarten—as smooth as possible for everyone involved. A successful start to school places your child on the path to becoming a lifelong learner. Let’s take a look at a few ideas to help your little ones on their way.

GET ACQUAINTED—AND EXCITED

As soon as you’ve determined where your child will be attending school, you’ll have opportunities to start acclimating them to their new environment. Take advantage of all the events and activities that many preschools host to help new families feel welcomed. This often involves parent-child events on campus

that take place months to weeks before the start of the school year. Here, you and your child will get the chance not just to meet teachers and staff, but also other families. From there, try taking part in playdates in the time leading up to school. “This provides the children with opportunities to meet and make friends with their new classmates,” says Judith Mul-

lens, the early childhood assistant head for teaching and learning at The Lamplighter School in Dallas.

Then as the school year approaches, attend the open house or meet the teacher night, or at the very least, schedule a personalized guided tour to familiarize your child with the new places and people in their life. “It gives children a sense of security when they know who their teacher will be and dispels any concerns they might imagine or have about the classroom environment,” Mullens says.

You can also use this time to help your child get excited for the new adventure ahead. Take a look at the class and school schedules filled with new activities, find the cubby with your child’s name on it, explore those fun new toys in the classroom, then hit the playground to swing on the swings and slide down the slide. Don’t forget to take photos to relive those fun memories before the official start of school.

Staying involved throughout the year and attending everything from birthday parties to official school functions will help both you and your child develop friendships and become part of a community that you may be involved with for many years to come. Consider scheduling playdates with other parents or inviting favorite classmates over for a couple of hours.

DEVELOP CLASSROOM SKILLS

To start getting your child in the right mindset for a classroom environment, you can pretend-play what happens in school from snack time to story time, but nothing prepares children for school better than reading. “Reading aloud and talking about books is by far the most important and beneficial way to prepare your child for school,” says Kris George, the principal at Ivybrook Academy in Flower Mound.

“Pattern books like Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? and I Went Walking are great books for parents to read to students.”

Relatable characters help kids understand themselves and the world, so reading picture books are a magical way to introduce the world of school. You can also choose books about important preschool topics such as colors, shapes, seasons and so on that will serve your child well through kindergarten.

Now and throughout the year, develop and strengthen preschool skills and concepts to support curriculum with fun activities such as puzzles, games or arts and crafts with painting, drawing, pasting and cutting—then learning to clean up and put things away. Hands-on fine motor skill activities—Play-Doh, lacing, coloring, LEGOs—are good choices for preschoolers and even kindergarten prep, especially those who may be more accustomed to electronics-based play.

BE PRACTICAL

As the big first day approaches, practice how to get

7 BOOKS TO HELP GET PRESCHOOL READY

These books—many featuring familiar characters—can help prepare your child to start and succeed at school.

If You Take a Mouse to School

by Laura Numeroff

Kindness is My Superpower

by Alicia Ortego

Llama Llama Misses Mama

by Anna Dewdney

Maisy Goes to Preschool

by Lucy Cousins

The Pigeon Has to Go to School!

by Mo Willems

Time for School, Little Blue Truck

by Alice Schertle

Our Class Is a Family

by Shannon Olsen

up and go. If waking up and heading out the door might be a bit of a transition for both of you, especially after the summer months, start working on what that new morning routine might look like. Transition to an earlier bedtime, start setting that alarm clock at least a few days ahead of time, and practice hopping out of bed to get dressed, eat breakfast, load up that snazzy new backpack and get going for the day.

Have that morning routine down pat to avoid the morning rush on day one and beyond, but don’t sweat the small stuff if things don’t go as planned. “My best advice is not to make a battle out of small issues such as putting shoes on,” George says. By the time kindergarten rolls around, you’ll be rolling into school long before the tardy bell rings.

Ask the school if they have any suggestions or creative ways to make those initial departures a positive experience. “Parents could drive through the carpool the week prior to school beginning and show their child where they will be dropped off,” Mullens suggests. “They may explain to their child that they will say goodbye quickly with a smile and see them in a little while. Parents can also tell children that they can’t wait to hear about the fun things they are learning at school.”

That first week, arrive early to beat the rush and say a quick goodbye. “The best way to relieve anxiety is to reinforce that mommies and daddies always come back,” George says. “I know it is hard, but it is best to give a hug, say goodbye and then turn and go. Children don’t cry for long once the parent is out of sight.”

At the end of the school day, be ready and waiting. “Barring any emergencies, parents should be on time for pick up. Students get most anxious when they see all of their friends leave,” George says.

Starting school is a big step that often comes with big feelings. If your child expresses fear or anxiety around starting school, be ready to listen supportively. In the end, they’re building independence and resiliency, and so are you.

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Reclaiming Your Bed

Helping the whole family get a good night’s sleep

WORDS ALEXIS PATTERSON

SHARING YOUR BED WITH YOUR CHILD CAN BE WONDERFUL … when they’re not kicking, tossing, turning, talking, flopping or otherwise disturbing your much-needed rest. And it can be hard to keep your bed to yourself as a parent. Whether your little one finds their way into your room in the middle of the night or starts out there, you can reclaim your sleep space—and help the whole family wake up more refreshed.

WHEN SHOULD MY CHILD SLEEP IN HIS OR HER OWN BED?

First and foremost, it’s important to remember that it’s not safe to bed share with an infant. Room sharing, however, is recommended for the first six months or, ideally, for the first year, according to Dr. Mansi Lalwani, pediatrician at Baylor Scott & White Family Health Center –Mesquite That will reduce the chances of SIDS.

But don’t be tempted to lay the baby down next to you. The possibility of SIDS requires parents to keep kids out of their beds until 12 months of age, when the risk decreases.

When it is safe to bed share, many families end up doing so, whether they set out to or not.

Parents are tired at the end of the day, and sometimes it’s easier to just let your kid snuggle up next to you and pass out. But Lalwani cautions that while there’s not a specific age that children should be in their own beds, “once kids learn to sleep in the same bed as you, you’ll have a hard time transitioning them to their own bed and own room later on.”

The ideal situation, says Lalwani, is that babies sleep in a bassinet or crib in their parents’ room, then move to their own room, still in their cribs, at a year. They then typically have an easier time moving to a toddler bed in their room. A few signs that they’re ready to move to a bed include consistently climbing out of the crib, asking to sleep in a “big girl” or “big boy” bed, being 35 inches tall or when the crib rail is at or below chest level. Lalwani says for most families, this is achieved by 2½–3 years of age.

But those transitions don’t always happen smoothly.

Sleep consultant Mary Cantwell of Rest To Your Nest helps families all over Dallas-Fort Worth with this issue. When it comes to getting kids to move from the crib or the parents’ bed to their own bed, the parents who seek her assistance have kiddos ranging from 2–7 years old. The average age is about 3½. But she’s quick to note that what’s best for a family is very individualized.

“I believe that bedsharing is a family sleep decision,” Cantwell explains. “If your child is old enough that it’s safe, and bedsharing fits your family’s needs, then go ahead and do that. If that’s not working for your family and you want your child to sleep in their room, then you would want to look at independent sleep.”

WHAT SHOULD I DO TO GET MY KID TO SLEEP ALONE?

The key to success is taking it step by step. “As in every transition we guide our children through, there is typically a period of adjustment,” notes Cantwell.

If your child is accustomed to sleeping next to you, they need to take a small step toward independence at the beginning. “If you room share, then you can start the transition with a small mattress on the floor in the parents’ room,” suggests Lalwani. “Allow them to fall asleep without touching you but still able to see you and be close.”

When your child masters sleeping on a mattress in your room, you can begin the process of moving them to their own space. Lalwani does not recommend lying down in your child’s bed until he or she falls asleep.

Cantwell suggests having an age-appropriate family meeting where you cover the basics of good sleep and how lack of sleep makes everyone feel. You can introduce a “sleep rules chart” that has simple steps on how sleep works and incorporate the chart into nap and bedtime routines, reviewing the rules before lights out and then again in the morning.

The chart could include tasks such as brush teeth; read two books and close our eyes for sleep; if we wake at night, we stay in bed quietly.

“ONCE KIDS LEARN TO SLEEP IN THE SAME BED AS YOU, YOU’LL HAVE A HARD TIME TRANSITIONING THEM TO THEIR OWN BED AND OWN ROOM LATER ON.”

No matter what you do, expect it to take a while for kids to get the hang of sleeping in their own bed. “They’ll keep resisting initially. If you’re firm and consistent, it should take around two to three weeks,” says Lalwani.

Cantwell recommends staying consistent for at least a month so children have time to understand how to sleep in their rooms.

“Praise your child on the steps they completed well, and then go over the steps they need to work on,” advises Cantwell. “Say something like, ‘You did such a great job on #1 and #2, and now we need to work on #3. I know you can do it tonight!’” The goal is to build confidence in your child so they feel empowered in their sleep process— and motivate them to keep it up.

Kids will have an easier time mastering their new sleep rules if they have something to comfort them besides Mom’s arms. “Give them a transitional object,” advises Lalwani. “A blanket, a soft toy— anything the child really loves and is safe for them to have when they’re alone.” You should also tell your child you will check on them during the night.

Parents can also practice separation from their kiddos during the daytime. “Keep the bar low,” Lalwani says. “Leave the room for just a few minutes and say, ‘See, Mama always comes back.’”

Just know that there will be growing pains for kids used to sharing a bed with Mom and Dad. “But you want to teach your child to confront, cope and master their own anxiety,” shares Lalwani. “You want to build self-esteem and confidence. It’s not just about night; these behaviors translate to daytime. If your child constantly needs to be reassured and attached to you, you’re not fostering an independent child.”

WHAT IF MY KIDS KEEP GETTING UP OUT OF BED?

Three words: Keep. It. Boring. “You want to make these interactions as mundane as possible, so that it is not engaging for them,” says Cantwell. “If it is

middle-of-the-night waking and they come to your room, silently return them back to their room, with minimal or no interaction, and have them get back in bed.” You may have to do this multiple times, but they’ll eventually get up less often.

But what about those nights when you’re so tired? Does it hurt to let them crawl in bed with you “just this one time”? “I’ve been there personally,” says Lalwani. “It’s easier to let them go ahead and sleep with you, but you have to tell yourself, I’m going to be consistent. I’ll be waking up several times at night for a few weeks, or it’s going to be a lifelong thing.”

Cantwell concurs. “It takes time and consistency to make a new routine.”

HOW CAN I HELP MY CHILD NOT BE SCARED?

Once you get your kiddo in their own room, they might be scared if they’re used to nighttime companionship. “There will be nights when your child will be startled awake by a loud thunderstorm or a bad dream,” affirms Cantwell. “You will want to validate how your child is feeling and let them know they are with Mom and Dad and that they are safe. After you feel they are calm, let them know before you leave their room, ‘It’s night-night time. Mom and Dad are close by, and we love you and will be back to check on you.’”

not necessarily processing words, they’re processing actions,” she notes. “Older ones can process words. Give them more positive reinforcement, and have them consider what their friends do. They’ve very influenced by peers at that time. You can say, ‘If you want to go to a sleepover or camps, this is one of the first steps you need to take. Mom isn’t trying to get rid of you, but you’re strong and I know you can do it.’”

Cantwell approaches older, school-age kids on a case-by-case basis. But regardless of age, if you have a child who has always slept with you, remember that they’ve never known anything different.

“For those children, an even more gradual approach will fit their needs best,” says Cantwell. “That may range from staying in the room, close to their bed and gradually moving further away to checking on them periodically while they’re falling asleep.”

NEED SOME MORE MOTIVATION?

Kids who regularly occupy their parents’ bed may end up with less sleep than recommended, as they often go to bed at later hours.

Lalwani says a security object (special blanket or stuffed animal, for example) can help kids feel more relaxed at bedtime. A nightlight may provide a feeling of security, even if your child is not afraid of the dark itself. Other tips include letting them sleep with a pet and not allowing exposure to scary programs or books.

You can provide reassurance if they call for you after being tucked in, says Lalwani. “The parent can say ‘You are OK. We are here to make sure you are safe.’ But do not spend too much time during this period of reassurance and don’t go into the room too often. Otherwise, your child will become dependent on your presence.” She adds that if the child is very frightened and really cannot be in the room alone, you may want to stay by their bed until they fall asleep.

“If the child can talk, give them a chance to tell you what scares them at bedtime but don’t force them,” she advises. “Do not dismiss their fears or make fun of them.”

WHAT IF MY LITTLE ONE ISN’T SO LITTLE?

Sometimes parents let bedsharing go on a lot longer than intended. So maybe you have an older child accustomed to sleeping with you.

Lalwani says your nighttime process is the same, but you should do a lot more talking and preparation during the daylight hours. “Younger ones are

Lalwani says there is research indicating that if a family is bedsharing, a toddler won’t get the most restful sleep. And we all know the perils of an unrested toddler: difficulty performing tasks, temper tantrums, trouble with self-regulating behavior and so on. She adds that kids who don’t sleep well at night may also be more likely to experience obesity later on.

And don’t forget about taking care of yourself. Mom needs a good night’s snooze too, obviously.

CAN A SLEEP CONSULTANT ASSIST IN THIS PROCESS?

Don’t be afraid to call in back up—whether it’s talking to your pediatrician or getting a sleep consultant on board. “My goal as a sleep consultant is to empower the family on their sleep journey and bring confidence and clarity to the process,” says Cantwell. “There are many books on sleep, but they don’t fit every circumstance and child. This is where the art of sleep consulting comes into play and how to work through the nuances of sleep, so that the family can be well rested.”

A FINAL WORD OF ADVICE

When we’re tired, we can say or do things we regret. Building an independent sleeper isn’t always easy and often involves nighttime wakeups, but “be kind to your kids,” says Lalwani. “Don’t let your frustrations get the better of you. They expect love and patience. Most things are achievable with love, patience and kindness. Of course, things happen, but I try to remind myself that my overarching parenting theme is kindness and consistency.”

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Let Them Play

The importance of playtime in raising healthy kids

WORDS ERIN HAYES BURT

PAIGE HERRMANN IS A FIRST-TIME MOM to a 2-year-old who lives in a suburb south of Dallas. She’s new to this whole mom gig, but she does know one thing: When her little boy gets unstructured playtime, he’s a happier, more independent kid. That’s huge for her, since he doesn’t have any siblings to entertain him and she works full-time. Herrmann notices her son gets grumpy and overstimulated when he doesn’t have that playtime.

There’s a biological reason for that, says Sara Loftin, clinical therapist at Children’s Health in Dallas. For kids, play is serious business: It enhances brain structure and function and promotes the process of learning. And that’s just the beginning.

“I see in younger kids as well as older kids, [play] helps them regulate their emotions, relieve their stress, helps them recover from emotional distress,” Loftin says. “Play is a coping skill. I think it’s a way that kids fill their cup of mastery.”

HOW PLAY PROMOTES HEALTH

Play is so important to child development that it has been recognized by the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights as a right of every child. It’s more than fun—it’s the foundation for kids’ healthy growth, contributing to the overall well-being of kids.

Playing contributes to a child’s mental health. Young kids’ brains aren’t developed enough to be able

to work out what’s upsetting or frustrating them and communicate that verbally, says Loftin. “In the same way that adults communicate through words and talking, kids can’t really do that because of their brain development. And so they use their natural language of play and toys as their words to communicate their thoughts and feelings.” Through play with other kids, they learn how to interact with others, through observation, mimicking, body language, and facial expressions.

Play is equally crucial for physical health. Running, jumping, hopping, throwing—this strengthens kids’ bones, muscles, heart and lungs and reduces their risk for obesity and diabetes. And beyond those gross motor skills, play helps develop fine motor skills too. Debbie Rhea, director of the LiiNK Center for Healthy Play at Texas Christian University, advocates for four 15-minute recesses per day at the elementary level. She’s found that when elementary-age kids have an hour of recess a day, their fine motor skills improve.

PLAY IS SO IMPORTANT TO CHILD DEVELOPMENT THAT IT HAS BEEN RECOGNIZED BY THE UNITED NATIONS HIGH COMMISSION FOR HUMAN RIGHTS AS A RIGHT OF EVERY CHILD. IT’S MORE THAN FUN—IT’S THE FOUNDATION FOR KIDS’ HEALTHY GROWTH.

“Being able to control in the lines, being able to color within the lines, things that they weren’t able to do anymore when recess was gone. But when recess came back, these things started coming back as well.”

BE BORED FOR 1 HOUR A DAY

How to help kids get more comfortable with boredom.

UNPLUG. Devices just don’t offer the ability to play creatively.

SUPPLY.

Have items on hand that are open-ended and age appropriate: natural materials like sticks, sand, and water for younger kids, raw materials like art supplies and musical instruments for older kids.

ENCOURAGE.

Express belief in your child and their ability to come up with something wonderful and fun to do.

EXPERIMENT.

Play doesn’t have to be stationary. Nature walks, trails, and green spaces all present opportunity for unstructured play.

Unstructured play also increases resiliency, says Rhea. “The other really cool thing physically is that these kids were not falling and hurting themselves as much anymore. And if they did fall and had a scrape, they just got back up. They became more resilient and tougher again.”

THE DECLINE IN PLAY

Remember the days when you were kid? Children used to play for hours each day; running, jumping, imagining. They burned calories and strengthened their bodies all the while forming connections—and just having fun. But times change, and playtime continues to decline.

Compared to earlier generations, kids today spend at least 50% less time in unstructured outdoor activities, according to the Alliance for Childhood. Instead, they’re spending much of their time in front of a screen. Kids ages 8–18 spend an average of 7.5 hours with a screen for entertainment each day, the CDC estimates—a whopping 114 full days a year. And that’s not counting the time they spend on a computer for learning.

It’s an issue in schools too, where for decades play has been dwindling. Some kids get less than 10 minutes total a day outdoors—far less than the AAPrecommended 60 minutes a day—to make more room for instruction time to improve test scores in an increasingly competitive educational system. But who’s really winning?

“A state board of education’s approach is to present a ‘quantity’ daily schedule for academic success, rather than a ‘quality’ schedule of content mixed with other necessary developmental child and adolescent requirements,” writes Rhea in Let the Kids Play: The Impact of Chaos on Academic Success. “There is no research showing that more minutes in the classroom and a longer school day without breaks throughout the day produces better learning,” she says. Research actually shows the opposite: More time in the classroom actually results in higher teacher burnout, high school dropout

rates, decreased emotional stability, and a lack of socialization.

Unstructured play has been proven to help kids refocus and reboot their brains, resulting in greater concentration, focus, the ability to self-regulate, and less distraction and redirection.

LiiNK is currently working with 30 schools to bring those benefits to kids in DFW. “When I go into new schools, they’re doing recess very little, and they’re using a lot of content time throughout the day…it looks like every kid in the room has ADHD, they can’t sit still, right? They’re just all over the place, bouncing off walls.” But after introducing more playtime, she says, “They would go from about 70% off-task behavior in the classroom in a 30-minute period to 20% off-task within a year. We have videos showing kindergarten kids back on task within, I want to say 20 seconds of coming in from recess.”

FREE PLAY IS BEST

Unstructured play, like what we see at recess, is the most beneficial to child development. This is play that involves raw materials with a purpose ready to be assigned by the child—not parents, coaches, or toy marketing teams. Frankly, it’s the kind of play seen in young children that kind of exasperates parents—a child being entertained by boxes and wrapping paper after relatives spent hundreds on the must-have Christmas gifts, for example. But the kids know what they’re doing.

“I advocate for natural items,” says Bethany Fort, executive director of Out to Play, a Fort Worth nonprofit that provides safe, unstructured play spaces for young children. “There’s just more texture, more interesting materials. So wooden blocks, seashells, sand, water, those are the foundation of any great outdoor or sometimes indoor play materials because then the child can do whatever they want with them.” These are items you’ll never find on a blog or top ten gift list, but they are what’s best for kids. “Open-ended play provides the building blocks for learning everything. Social, emotional skills, physical, developmental learning, all types of learning.”

For older kids, the materials are different, but the idea is the same: paper, art supplies, clay, wool, wood, musical instruments; tools. Giving them the raw

Small Miracles Academy

Affordable, trustworthy childcare

We focus on children’s strengths. Enrolling your child in a childcare or afterschool program that enriches their minds is crucial to their development. Small Miracles Academy features the HighScope Curriculum which is geared toward getting your child ahead. Play-based, child-centered and grounded in research, this curriculum features active learning at its core. From infants to teenagers, we offer programs designed to help your child love learning.

Infants | Toddlers & Twos | Preschoolers

Pre-Kindergarten | After Schoolers, ages 5–13

East Plano: 972-515-2248

West Plano: 972-515-2236

Allen: 214-504-3841

North Garland: 972-515-2221

Richardson: 972-591-0892

Mesquite: 972-591-0301

Sachse: 469-417-6568

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6 STEPS FOR PLAYGROUND SUCCESS

1. DO step back and let your child problem solve. Sometimes they won’t make the right decision! But that’s how they learn.

2. DO allow kids to work out disagreements among themselves.

3. DO resist the urge to jump in and fix things, even if your child looks to you to do it. Instead, express confidence that they can do it.

4. DO support their independence, even if they aren’t playing the way you think it should be done.

5. DO encourage your child with positive feedback— thumbs up, a smile, a wave—if they look to you for feedback.

6. DO step in if something unsafe is happening.

materials, but no blueprint for what the final product should be. The outcome is the same for all ages: increased ability to regulate themselves, a sense of mastery, a sense of control. “What I hear most from parents is, ‘Wow, it’s just so simple, but they’re having so much fun just playing in dirt!’” says Fort. “And it’s almost like we have to be reminded all the time of that… [they’re] fine with the pot or dirt or a stack of wood. But we have a hard time bringing it into the home or creating spaces for that. It’s not as fancy. It’s not as put together.” No one is posting their collections of sticks and dirt on Instagram, anyway.

COMBATING PLAY DESERTS

Another factor preventing unstructured play is a lack of access to safe play spaces in the community. Out to Play defines “play deserts” as “longer than a 10-minute walk from a safe, free place to play. That could be a park, or a school playground, or a church playground that’s open to the public. “When you live in a play desert, there’s nowhere for that child to go after sitting in a classroom for 6 hours and 45 minutes and getting just one recess, and that’s a tough situation for parents and kids,” says Fort. “I think most parents would say, ‘I don’t feel like my child’s playing enough. They come out of school and they’re just like a cork ready to pop from sitting all day.’”

Some kids may have access to a nearby park, but parents aren’t willing to let them walk alone to an unsupervised area. Paige Herrmann, for instance, grew up in Arlington when Amber Hagerman, the abducted 9-year-old for whom Amber Alerts were named, went missing. She doubts she will ever let her son play at the park alone.

“I remember being able to go to all the neighbor’s houses and just be gone until it was dark. I think it gave us the ability to be kids, and I wish that our kids lived in a society where they could continue to do that,” she says.

In some areas, libraries are working to fill the gap for parents like Herrmann. “Texas State Library archive, which provides grants for librarians in Texas and libraries in Texas, supports an organization called Family Place Libraries,” says Fort “They provide grants for libraries to put in free play spaces. And there are a lot of those in DFW.” But she says that overall, schools and communities aren’t giving this issue enough attention. “I think people still have in their mind that play is a fluffy thing. We’re much more comfortable teaching 3-year-olds to read than providing play spaces for them.”

LET THEM BE BORED

If you want to introduce unstructured play to your child, you’re not alone, says Loftin, who is a certified play therapist. “Ten years ago when I started, I would have parents say, ‘My child doesn’t really play.’ And I would say, ‘Let’s get them in the playroom, and I’m sure that won’t be the case,’ and it was true. Now parents will say, ‘My child doesn’t know how to play,’ and it’s true. It is actually terrifying. A child will come into the playroom and say, ‘Can I play on your phone? Can we go to your office and get on your computer?’”

Many kids have had so much access to ready-made games and apps their whole lives that they have never had to entertain themselves. That doesn’t make it any less essential. “Free play, especially for older kids, is so helpful for children to reach those goals of competence and skill and obedience. That’s how they feel powerful. It’s how they gain control, it’s how they practice,” says Loftin.

The first step to introducing free play—and promoting healthier kids—is getting comfortable with being bored. That can take some getting used to for parents and kids. First step? Send them outside if you can. “Nature in itself is regulating,” reminds Loftin. “And so being outside, we already know that play is regulating and a coping skill that children have just within themselves and adults that we don’t access it enough.”

Have a pile of natural play materials that are easy to access, whether you are inside or outside. The key is letting the child use their creativity to make something. If they complain to you, encourage them, but don’t make suggestions as to what they can or should do. Creativity is a muscle that we all have to work out, so at first boredom will lead. But over time, the ability to be creative will eliminate boredom. “Play stimulates creative thinking and exploration, and it relieves boredom,” says Loftin. “I actually see it as a mom-win when my child is bored. Over the weekend, my daughter said, ‘I’m bored!’ And I said, ‘Oh, that’s great! What an opportunity to be creative. I wonder what you are going to come up with?’”

Let’s not minimize the process—it might be painful. There may even be tears if you’re taking away a tablet or phone or shutting off the router for an hour each day. Not everyone may need to do that, but that’s where many parents find extra time, says Loftin. “If you take away technology, I think you’ll gain a lot of unstructured playtime that you didn’t think could be there.”

The Early Childhood Resource List

The first five years of your child’s life are crucial for their development with their experiences in these early years shaping who they will become. Learn about the local programs and institutions that help lay the foundation for learning and health for years to come.

Childcare & Preschools

All Saints’ Episcopal School aseschool.org

817/560-5700

Serving students age 3–Grade 12 as a leading preparatory day school in Fort Worth. Grounded in the Episcopal school tradition, offering programming of national distinction in academic, fine art, athletic and spiritual disciplines.

Arlington ISD aisd.net

682/867-4611

Arlington ISD offers free pre-K for all 4-year-olds with an integrated STEM curriculum. They’ll love experimenting in the STEM Lab and telling you all about it! Register your little one today for Full STEM Ahead. See ad on page 4.

Challenger School challengerschool.com/campuslocations/texas

469/642-2000

In Challenger’s uniquely fun

and academic preschool, children learn in challenging, but attainable, steps, and they begin to experience the joy of achievement as they employ their newly acquired knowledge and skills. See ad on page 10.

Clayton Child Development Center—Near Southside claytonyouth.org/programs/earlylearning-program/southside 817/936-7742

Clayton offers a nurturing learning environment with full-time and part-time options. While this location is new, families have trusted Clayton for nearly 50 years. Weekdays 6:30am–6:30pm. Tours available. See ad on page 10.

Dallas ISD prekdallas.org

214/932-7735

Dallas ISD offers free, scholarship and tuition-based pre-K for 3- and 4-year-olds at many elementary schools. Visit our website at prekdallas.org to check eligibility and to find your school or call us at 214/932-7735. See ad on page 6.

Fort Worth Academy fwacademy.org

817/370-1191

Fort Worth Academy empowers young people to think critically, lead with empathy and collaborate effectively, to become the innovators and problem solvers of tomorrow. Our students become self-aware, selfdriven, courageous, confident and creative Trailblazers. See ad on page 17.

Goldberg Early Childhood Center jccdallas.org

214/237-7117

The GECC offers part- and full-time programs for children 3 months–pre-K. Joining our school, you will see that we are so much more—we are a school family, an amazing community.

Guidepost Montessori

guidepostmontessori.com

Guidepost Montessori has 13 locations in DFW, virtual and homeschool. Our curriculum fosters independence, creativity and a love of learning.

Hope Day School hopedayschooldallas.org

214/351-5657

We serve infants through preschool ages. Our curriculum is rooted in nature, science, the arts and healthy nutrition. We have many unique and wonderful seasonal events for children and families to inspire awe and wonder. See ad on page 9.

KidsPark kidspark.com

682/323-4766

Childcare done differently. Drop in for safe, fun, highquality care for ages 2–12. We have you covered for hourly, all day, preschool and school-age programs. Open days, evenings and weekends. No reservations needed. Let’s play! See ad on page 17.

Little Tyke Learning Centers littletykechildcare.com

817/788-1884

Over the last 50 years, Little Tyke has remained committed to developing a culture where our children, families and faculty are nurtured, loved and educated in a stable, safe and caring environment.

Lumin Education lumineducation.org

214/964-0500

Since 1978, Lumin Education has been a Montessori leader by creating learning environments that inspire children, grow healthy families and transform lives in the Dallas community. See ad on page 17.

Our Redeemer Lutheran School Early Childhood Education Center ordallas.org/early-childhood

214/368-1465

Our Redeemer Lutheran School provides a Christ-centered, playbased, learning-oriented, early childhood program for preschool age children. Our hands-on centers provide engaging opportunities for small architects, scientists and artists to explore their world.

Parish Episcopal School parish.org

972/852-8737

Parish Episcopal School guides young students (PreK 3yrs–12th), through intentional engagement across all disciplines to become proactive participants in their learning, discover their authentic self, and find balance and joy in their educational journey. See ad on page 13.

Small Miracles Academy smallmiraclesacademy.org

We’re here to support you and your family in these uncertain times. We’d like you to know we’re doing everything to keep your child happy, healthy and engaged. See ad on page 21.

Southwest Christian School southwestchristian.org

817/294-0350

Students begin their educational journey with a strong foundation at Southwest Christian School. With a well-qualified team of early educators, Pre-K and Kindergarten students gain confidence, skills and the desire to become lifelong learners.

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Catholic School seascs.net

817/431-4845

Our preschool program provides children a caring, hands-on formation and learning. The program is dedicated to the growth and development of the whole child, with active engagement in preparation for their academic career.

Trinity Lutheran Children’s Center tlcfw.org

817/732-8522

TLCC is a ministry of Trinity Lutheran Church to the families of the congregation and the community. We provide Christian loving care as well as emotional, intellectual, physical, social and spiritual growth for each child.

The Westwood School westwoodschool.org/wp-content/ docs/westwood-toddler-prek/ cultivatingcharacterdaybyday.pdf 972/239-8598

The Westwood School’s Montessori Lower School has launched an early toddler program to serve 12–18-monthold children and their families. The early toddler class size is limited. We welcome interested parents to contact Westwood. See ad on page 18.

White Rock Montessori School whiterockmontessori.org

214/324-5580

Nestled beside a creek on wooded acreage in East Dallas, White Rock Montessori is a community of families, educators guided by the philosophy of Dr. Maria Montessori and is accredited by the American Montessori Society.

Windhaven Academy windhavenacademy.com

972/608-2955

Mom-owned, boutique style center with a modern approach to childcare and a focus on customer experience! See ad on page 18.

Wonderland Montessori wonderlandmontessori.com

972/225-5962

Wonderland Montessori provides an authentic Montessori environment for infants by observing their natural schedules and innate curiosity.

Classes

Gymboree Play & Music gymboreeclasses.com

Gymboree classes incorporate age-appropriate activities that help develop physical, cognitive and social skills as they play. Early childhood classes range for ages 0–5 years.

The Little Gym thelittlegym.com

As the world’s premiere early childhood development program, The Little Gym curriculum follows AAP milestones and partners with parents to empower children for life’s adventures.

River Legacy Nature School riverlegacy.org/nature-school 817/860-6752

River Legacy Nature School provides an environment that encourages children’s inborn sense of wonder and curiosity to flourish. Indoor and outdoor explorations at the Nature Center introduce children to the natural world through inquiry-based curriculum.

Tatsuki Swimming School, LLC tatsukiswimming.com

469/640-1855

Tatsuki Swimming School offers swim lessons beginning at age 6 months. Learning to swim helps reduce the risk of drowning, particularly for younger children. We focus on water safety while nurturing a passion for swimming. See ad on page 18.

TCU Music Preparatory Division musicprep.tcu.edu

817/257-7604

From early childhood music to private lessons for older students, the TCU Music Preparatory Division offers a wide variety of instruction. See ad on page 23.

Texas Ballet Theater School texasballettheater.org/tbt-school

817/763-0207

Texas Ballet Theater School offers classes that range from beginner ballet (3-year-olds and up) to elite professional training. Curriculum is based on the Royal Academy of Dance and all students have performance opportunities throughout the year.

YMCA of Metropolitan Dallas ymcadallas.org/youth_ development/summer_camps/ day_camps

469/902-9079

Make this summer unforgettable at the YMCA! From thrilling activities to cool games, our day camps are designed for kids to have a blast. Register now for endless fun and adventure!

See ad on page 23.

Healthcare

Children’s Health childrens.com

Making life better for children for 110 years—and generations to come. Search for doctors, locations, treatment and more. See ad on page 2.

Cook Children’s Health Care System cookchildrens.org

682/885-4000

At Cook Children’s we grow with your child from first steps

to adulthood. We offer health care connected by kindness, imagination, respect and an extra dose of magic. See ad on the back cover.

TexasAllergyMD texasallergymd.com

469/375-1525

TexasAllergyMD clinic offers diagnosis, treatment and management services for all types of allergic conditions including food allergies, environmental allergies, eczema and asthma. Services are provided by a boardcertified pediatric allergist. See ad on page 18.

Whole Child Texas

wholechildtexas.com

214/736-1954

Whole Child Texas is dedicated to providing children with the highest quality integrative medical care. Dr. Olteanu believes in treating the whole child, spirit-body-brain and has a special interest in chronic conditions. See ad on page 13.

Museums

Amon Carter Museum of American Art cartermuseum.org

817/738-1933

At the Carter, connecting with art is easy at any age! We offer monthly events designed to inspire curiosity and creativity for babies and toddlers!

Moody Family Children’s Museum at the Perot Museum perotmuseum.org

214/428-5555

Children can dive into a world on their own scale. There’s an indoor nature hike, farmers market, water play table and all the hands-on fun imaginable. Recommended for ages 5 and under with an adult. See ad on page 13.

Nanny Agencies

Globe Nanny Domestic Personnel Agency globenanny.com

214/350-1175

As a bonded personnel screening agency since 1990, we offer an efficient, costeffective service in finding family help. Full/part-time nannies, newborn specialists, night nannies, emergency nannies, summer nannies, housekeepers, cooks and more. Email: globenanny@hotmail.com.

Special Needs

As You Are

asyouare.com

866/219-8595

Our team of physicians provide virtual autism evaluations to kids 16 months to 10 years, helping families get access to intervention services and support earlier in a child’s development.

The Behavior Exchange

· HOW BIG IS BABY THIS WEEK?

· WHAT CHANGES ARE HAPPENING WITH YOUR BODY?

· HOW CAN YOU PROTECT YOUR PELVIC FLOOR?

· ARE YOU ELIGIBLE FOR A VBAC?

ALL THOSE QUESTIONS, PLUS MANY MORE, ANSWERED IN AN EMAIL TAILORED TO YOUR CURRENT WEEK OF PREGNANCY

OH BABY!

Sniffles, surgeries, sing-alongs

More than care. Connection.

Hello, neighbor! We want you to know that we’re all in this together. Because “together” is the best way to shape treatment plans made just for your child––ones that are built by a team of doctors, families and patients. That’s what it means to deliver care that connects.

Find care: cookchildrens.org