Ra l e i g h , N o r t h C ar o lin a ( 919 ) 4 1 0 - 6 8 1 2 www . di a mo n d d iv am ag .c o m Happy 5th Anniversa ry Diamond Diva. It has been a great and trying 5 years but I have loved every minute of it. Throughout this last year many changes have tak en place and the maga zine has began to evolve into something that is amazining and ever changing for the good of all women pressing their way in business and in life. It has been a honor to find these women and shine a light on them and all the great things they are doing in business and in the communities. As always these women are business women, mothers, women of God and truly Di amond Diva;s to the fullest defintion of the word. Thank you for staying with us and for your continued sup port, it really means alot to us both. Renee & Martin Dawkins
C o v e r P h o t o by Jerry Clack J & J P h o t o gr a p h y 252 . 7 6 7 . 4 9 8 4
Disclaimer: Diamond Diva Magazine is published monthly. Any reproduction of any part of this publication without written permission from the publisher prior to doing so. Diamond Diva Magazine does not accept responsibility for st atements made by individuals featured or advertisers. Comments concerning this publication should be submitted to the editor by email at info@ diamonddivamag.com Diamond Diva Magazine’s publisher, staff and other persons involved in the creation, production or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or it’s content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential or punitive damages arising out of the magazine.
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Re l ationship H el p: W hy Do I G et S o Up se t w / My Pa rtne r ante” in order to have some kind of impact on your spouse/partner-- this mi ght i nv ol v e yel l i ng, be comi ng more prov ocati v e, el ev ati ng your emotional responses, acting i n ways that are uncharacteri s ti c for you (i n attachment literature these types of reactions are called “protest” behaviors your protes ts are a refl ection of losing something extremely important to you; this can be the love of your partner, the s ecurity of your relationship, or both).
Q : I n e e d s o m e relationship h e l p . W h i l e I l o v e my husband wi th all m y h e a r t , so met imes it ’ s j u s t s o f r u s t r a t in g bein g ma r r ied t o hi m . Wh e n I f e el t h a t h e’ s ign o r i n g m e , I g e t so upset, and he ’ s u s u a lly s u r p r is ed by t h e in t e n s i t y o f m y r e a ction. Why do I g e t s o u p s e t w i t h him? ~Lynn, Carlsbad CA A : T h a n k s f o r t he question, Ly nn. H e r e a r e so me t h o ug h t s t h a t m i g h t h e l p shed light on your experience: I t i s e xt r e m e l y d i s t ressing to feel as i f y o u r w o r d s a n d a ct io n s hav e n o im p a c t (o r n o lo n g er m a t t e r ) t o y o u r s pouse/partner t o t h in k t h a t s o meone whom y o u l o ve d e e p ly is n o lo n g er e ngag e d f u lly in t h e r ela t io ns hi p o r in t e r e s t ed in w h a t ’ s i mp o r t a n t t o y o u ca n be ex tremely painful. Whe n y o u f e e l like yo ur spo use/ p a r t n e r i s n o t b e i ng responsive t o y o u ( a n d t o y o ur needs), two o u t co m e s b e c o me likely: 1 . I n i t i a l l y , y o u may “up the
A n unres pons i v e /di se n gage d/ uninterested pa r t n e r t r i g g e r s increased anxiet y a n d w o r r y i n the other partner, w h o th e n attempts to reeng age th e u n responsive partner ( f o r e x a m p l e , “We need to tal k , ” o r “ W h a t ’ s wrong?”) and i f th e o th e r partner is still not resp o n s i v e , p r o t e s t behaviors are trig g e r e d . Your protes t beh avi o rs ( w h e ther your protest b e h a v i o r s a r e percei v ed as na ggi n g, pe ste ri ng, yel l i ng, or s om e k i n d o f i n creas ed emoti on al i ty l i k e anger) are in effec t a t t e m p t s t o try and correct t h e p r o b l e m i deal l y i t’s an atte n ti o n - grab bing reaction th a t w i l l l e t y o u r spouse know tha t s o m e t h i n g i s Is it fair to say that at some point wrong that need s f i x i n g . mo st of us woul d react negati v e ly (protest) if we perceived our Think of protest b e h a v i o r s a s a n spouse/partner to be unavailable alarm sounding i n a n e f f o r t t o and unresponsive to our needs? grab your partne r ’ s a t t e n t i o n t o what needs to be a d d r e s s e d . 2. Wh en you feel i gnored for extended periods of time, your sense Marital/relations h i p problems of des pair can turn into feelings of can ari s e when th e se te mpoh o peles s nes s you gi v e up on try - rary reactions ( f e e l i n g o n e ’ s in g t o engage your s pous e/partner spouse/partner is u n c o n c e r n e d a n d begi n to retreat (thi s i s a s el f- and unres pons i v e ) are n o t adprotective behavior in essence, dres s ed and bec o me i n grai n e d you’re cutting your loses). This may patterns. t a ke t he form of i ndi fference, wi th d r a w al behav i ors , and di s engag- I hope this sheds s o m e l i g h t o n ing from the relationship in general why you s eem to ge t so u pse t (and t he responsibilities that are a with your spouse ( o r w h y w e a l l part of the relationship). get ups et wi th ou r spo u se /partner at ti mes ). Wh e n e ve r w e al Typically a protest reaction isn’t low a loved one s p e c i a l a c c e s s random: Protest behaviors (getting to our hearts, f e e l i n g i g n o r e d really upset when your partner isn’t by this person is g o i n g t o f e e l responding in predictable ways like a major deal . that make you feel secure in the relationship) occur in a particular context; and the triggering event is usually feeling anxious about losing the security of your relationship. Relationship Help: Let’s break down t h is r eacti on:
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Declut te r ing You r S pac e by : Al ic i a P e t t y
these products expire, some preservatives may stop working thus increasing the risk of infections. Conversely, certain active ingredients may become stronger and lead to skin ir ritation.
Glossy pictures of homes be long in magazines. If you can find your things easily, your home is already organized and good enough. But if you spend more than 60 seconds looking for things in your home, then you may need to declutter and get an organization system in place. Declutter: To remove unwanted things and not just move them around. Clutter may give us a feeling of security. But, the liberation & freedom after decluttering is more satisfying. Here are a few helpful tips t o help you in your journey! Happy decluttering! 1. Take 5 minutes every evening to organize your living room. Throw away accumulated trash/paper, pick up your children’s toys and keep the remote controls out of sight. Do this every day and clutter would definitely not
be given a chance to build up! 2. Organize your books. Try arranging them in order by title, or perhaps by size, type (hardcover or paperback), and color. Use bookcases with adjustable shelves and you will save space by being able to keep more books in your shelf (and not on the floor). 3. A sure way to reduce clutter quickly in your office is to go pa perless! You may be a little inse cure with this idea at first but with a little effort and a revamp in mindset, you’ll be thankful you did. Going paperless is not only environmentally-friendly, it also helps greatly in s aving money and getting you organized.
5. It may come as a surprise but making your bed every morning is one healthy tip for decluttering. If you’re always rushing for time in the morning, remember that it only takes 3 minutes to fold your sheets quickly but neatly, fluff up your pillows and you’re done! A neat bed is not only more hygienic, it also gives the impression that the bedroom is less cluttered. This way, you’ll be less likely to place your belongings on the bed.
4. Do not feel guilty of discarding expired beauty products. Once
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P h o t o b y : J & J Photography
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A new perspective on the ability to love is here and Trenia Today is ready to express her thoughts. “There’s just not enough love in the world today, people just walk by you and don’t even smile, I feel we live in a ‘me, myself, and I’ kind of world.” This observation has pushed a purpose of enlightening others around her to show more love to those they encounter. Let’s look deeper into how we all can love more. What has been your inspiration to become an entrepreneur? Today: “I am a motivational ‘life’ speaker, author, and upcoming traveling web series host. I’m also hosting a conference “Just Be Love – A Mind, Body, & Soul Conference on June 4, 2016 to promote overall wholeness of the mind, body, spirit, and soul. To “give back and express love world-wide” is the pinnacle goal of Trenia Today; and she does just that through her entrepre neurial projects. She is a motivational life speaker and author who believes her calling is to speak life into peo ple. Her book, “Just Be Love: Unveiling Love, Light, Perfection, & Freedom,” is a self-help building tool to inspire readers to embrace the power of love. Lastly, as a upcoming traveling web series host of “The Trenia Today Show”, she strives to captivate audi ences with highlighting Entrepreneurs & Small Business Owners, Organic Farming and Holistic Living, EcoFriendly & Sustainability, Community & Arts, Chef’s & Restaurants as well as Travel & Adventure, spiritual enlightenment, and empowering moments. How will Trenia Today be a change agent in today’s society? Today: “I know how to forgive, I’m not a jealous person, and love is walking in love which I live every day.” What would you like our readers to know about the “Trenia Today” brand? Today: “My brand is ‘Just Be Love’ and I’ve been a loving person all my life. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve realized I wasn’t loving myself because my focus was “blessing others.” What has been your most valuable teach able moment in business? Today: “I’m more of a teacher when it comes to entrepreneurship so I like to teach people how to do business for themselves.” As an example of her brand, Ms. Today shared a personal experience with us when she was at the The Bay Area Book Festival near her hometown in California. While she was vending at the festival, and with the help of a homeless man that she recruited, she made an effort to hug nearly 20 homeless people in the community. It was clear her expression of love was a lasting impres sion for those she encountered that day. Her message is simple and clear: encourage others to show more affirmations of love to those around them. As the holiday season approaches, do you any have words of inspiration? Today: “The holiday season is my favorite and it seems like that is the only time you see people truly giving more. But I would like to see people make that become their lifestyle, not just during the holiday season.” Ms. Today has made her mark as an entrepreneur and is now seeking to empower others to do the same. It takes a great effort to be your own boss, but doing it with love is the real challenge! Just Be Love Conference – www.JustBeLoveMindBodySoulConference.com Trenia Today – www.TreniaToday.com
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www.diamonddivamag.com Corretta Doctor is a d a u g h t e r, m o m , gr a ndmothe r, le c tur e r, lif e c o a c h , a n d owne r of a n inte r na ti o n a l c o mp a n y called The A List Age n c y. S h e s p e n t 24 ye a r s in a c a r e e r a s a p r o f e s s io n a l a t the Exe c utive le v e l in Pr o c u r ement and Supply Chai n M a n a g e m e n t and lived quite comfor t a b l y w i t h h e r 6-figure salary. Not onl y d i d s h e s e r v e in the milita r y f or 10 y e a r s , s h e a ls o ha s two de gr e e s, multip le p r o f e s s io n a l de ve lopme nt c e r tif ic a tio n s a n d tr a vels around the world m o t i v a t i n g , a n d encouraging others. Fro m t h e o u t s i d e looking in, this Diva re a lly h a s it to gether but what people d o n ’t s e e i s h e r emotional struggle wi t h d e p r e s s i o n a nd suic ide . All in one , he r pe r son a l s to r y is e nga ging, c onf using, dish e a r te n in g , u plif ting, unc omf or ta ble , a n d e n c o u r a ging. To all of the woma n a n d m e n w h o str uggle with not know in g w h o y o u a r e , whe r e you c a me f r o m, o r w h a t your pur pose is he r e on e a r th , M s . D o c tor seeks to empower y o u a n d l e t y o u know that you are not a l o n e . H e r l i f e story is still unfolding b u t a s a f i e l d advocate for the Americ a n F o u n d a t i o n for Suicide Prevention, h e r m a i n g o a l a bove a ll is suic ide pr e v e n tio n f o r h e rse lf ( ye s, she still ba ttle s th e s e e motions oc c a siona lly) a nd f o r o th e r f a milie s in c r isis. Cor r e tta Doc tor wa s giv e n u p f o r a d o ption a t 6 months old a n d a lw a y s b e lieved her birth mother d i e d w h e n s h e wa s six ye a r s old. Fr om h e r te e n y e a r s all the way through he r t h i r t i e s , s h e se a r c he d high a nd low f o r h e r b io lo g ic a l f a the r a nd ha d de velo p e d r e la tio nships with two different m e n w h o m s h e believed could be her fa t h e r. T h e n , t h e devastating truth was r e v e a l e d w h e n she wa s in he r e a r ly f or tie s . M s . D o ctor learned that her m o t h e r w a s n o t dead and that in fact, t h e w o m a n s h e 14 knew as her aunt was ac t u a l l y h e r b i r t h
www.diamonddivakonnect.com mo t h e r. D e v a s t a t ed, confused, and extremely hu rt , C o r r e t t a r e a l ized that she w as the vic tim of fam i ly l i e s, se c rets and deceit. A s a c onsequ e n c e , a l l o f t h o se thoughts of suicide came ra g i n g b a c k t o h e r. Co r r e t t a ’s m o s t r ecent (and most traumatic) at t em p t a t su i c i d e w as in July 2015 and tha t dis t u r b i n g e v e n t was the biggest catap ult for he r t o m a k e i m p o r tant life changes and become the w o m a n t h a t we see now. She has a new l eas e on l i f e a n d i s w orking on building be tte r re l at i on sh i p s w i t h her mother and her d a ughter. S h e s a i d s h e is “cool with who I am” and s ay s “I d i d n ’t f a l l from grace...I just s te ppe d do w n . ” I t ’s a sl o w process but she is no longe r em b a r r a s s e d o r a shamed and is comfortable wi t h wh o sh e i s n ow. W h e n as k e d w h a t advice she could share with ou r r e a d e r s , M s . Doctor encourages anyone wh o i s f e e l i n g d epressed or despair to seek he l p. Sh e k n o w s that it is not easy but you ha v e t o v e r b a l i z e your feelings. If you decide to s e e k p r o f e s s i o nal therapy, it is ok to know t ha t y o u m a y n e e d to meet w ith a few diff e ren t c o u n s e l o r s u n t il you find someone you feel com fo rt a b l e w i t h . C orretta believes that sta yi ng act i v e i n t h e f ight for your life is cr itic a l an d t h a t c a n e a s i l y be done by simply staying i nf o rm e d . S h e e n courages our readers to f e e l im p o r t a n t e n o u g h to keep yourself alive and fin d s o m e o n e w h o w ill help you keep tota l a cco u n t a b i l i t y f o r y ou. Co r r e t t a D o c t o r i s sharing her entire story in he r n ew b o o k e n t itled “D iscovering Me ” a nd it w i l l b e a v a i l a b l e for purchase in May 2016. Yo u c a n f i n d a n excerpt of her book on her we b s i t e : w w w. c o r r ettadoctor.com Stay tuned as D i a m o n d D i v a Magazine keeps up with this am azi ng w o m a n a n d her story! DID Y O U K N O W ? : In 2013 (the most r e c e nt ye a r f o r w h i c h f u ll data is available), 41,149 s ui ci des w e r e r e p o rted in the U S , makin g suici de t h e 1 0 t h l e a d i ng cause of death for Ame r ican s . In t h a t y e a r, som eone in the countr y die d by s ui c i d e e v e r y 1 2.8 minutes. If you a r e in a cri s i s , v i si t w w w.asfp.org or call 1-800- 273TA L K.
15 Photo by: Te r r y Smooth Pr o d u c tio n s te r r ysmooth@me .c om
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When is i t w ort h in v e s t ing in desig ner fa shion
W h e n i t c o m e s to designer c l o t h i n g t h e r e a r e two types of p e o p l e . F i r s t , t h ere are women w h o t h i n k d e s i g ner clothing is n o t w o r t h t h e m oney, and then t h e r e a r e w o m en who simply ad or e de sig n e r fa sh io n . Ma n y w o m e n a r e j u s t not able to af f o r d t h e h ig h pr ice t a g s a ttac he d t o o n e piece o f clo t h i n g , b u t t h e n t h ere are others w ho h a ve t h e luxur y o f bein g ab l e t o s p lu r g e a n d w o uld n ’ t b e s ee n d e a d i n “supply chain” clothing. D e s p it e t h e se t wo o ppo sit es, mo r e a n d m o r e w o men a r e s e e i ng a n i n c r eased amount of d i s p o sa b le in c o me a s t h ey b e c o m e m o r e a ffluen t a n d in d e p e n d e n t . A s a t r ea t t o t h em s e l v e s , e v e r y n ow and then, the y a r e a b le t o t r ea t t h em s e l v e s t o s o m e t h i n g w it h a big g e r p r i c e t a g a n d believe they d e s e r v e t o s p l u r ge a little when the y f e e l t h e n e ed . As d e sig n e r f a s h ion is r a t h er ex p e ns i ve , m o st w o men ca n ’ t a ff o r d to h a v e a n e ntire wardrobe f u l l o f c o u t u r e pieces. A sen s i b l e sh o p p e r c an h a ve a few k e y pie c e s in t heir w a r d r o be
as long as they can jus tify the p r i c e s p e n t o n them. If you’re used to c h a i n s t o r e s h o p p i n g a n d checki n g p r i c e tags, then designer clothing can be rather intimidating. The key to designer fashion shopping is to know what you’re looking for and w h er e you s houl d s pend your money t o get the mos t des i gner i tems for your budget. T imeles s This probably the most important thing to remember with designer clothing; always buy with versatility in mind. Make s ure i t’s a good ad d it io n to your wardrobe and won’t age easily, otherwise you won’t get much wear out of it. Charity/Thrift shops If you love the idea of designer clothing but not the price tag, why not check out charity shops? There are some amazing bargains to be found and some charities even h a ve shops s peci fi cal l y for des i gn er pieces. An extra bonus is is that yo u’ ll al s o be gi v i ng back to the community! You’ll find your best bet s in l arger ci ti es and al s o i n ar eas where there is a younger and fa sh ionabl e popul ati on. Access ori es
It’s so easy to ch a n g e y o u r l o o k with some fash i o n a c c e s s o r i e s like a bag, jew e l r y o r a s c a r f . When buyi ng desi gn e r ac c e ssories, only choos e a n i t e m t h a t you’v e real l y fal l e n f o r an d th at will really make a d i f f e r e n c e i n your wardrobe. A c c e s s o r i e s a r e s o i nexepns i v e i n m aj o r re tai l e rs so make this one a r e a t h a t y o u real l y thi nk abou t. Little black dress Every woman ne e d s a n L B D i n her wardrobe; i t ’ s s o e a s y t o wear for all occ a s i o n s a n d w i l l definitely be you r “ g o t o ” p i e c e . This fashion cla s s i c i s a g o o d excuse to go de s i g n e r b e c a u s e it’s one item that w i l l n e v e r d a t e and will always b e n e e d e d . G o smart with it in t h e o f f i c e a n d gl am i t up wi th so m e k i l l e r h e e l s for a ni ght on th e to w n . Signature pieces If you’re thinking a l o n g t h e l i n e s of getti ng the m o st f o r y o u r money and the l o n g te rm i n vestment, then i t ’ s a g o o d i d e a to buy a s i gnatu re pi e c e o f designer clothing. M a n y d e s i g n e r s produce key pie c e s a n d i f y o u invest in one of t h e s e t h e n y o u ’ l l be abl e to s el l i t i n th e f u tu re . But don’t buy so m e t h i n g f o r t h e sake of it; you r e a l l y n e e d t o like it as well. So thos e are the i te ms o f designer pieces y o u s h o u l d l o o k out for and con s i d e r b u y i n g i f you’re looking t o a d d d e s i g n e r clothing to you r w a r d r o b e . A s you would exp e c t , t h e r e a r e also lots of thin g s y o u s h o u l d avoid buying. It’ s i m p o r t a n t n o t to get addi cted to bu y i n g de s i gner fas hi on an d to al w ay s stick to your bud g e t . D o n ’ t b u y fas hi on trends an d f ads f ro m des i gner names. S ti c k to th e l es s expens i v e re tai l e rs f o r th i s because they w i l l m o s t l i k e l y go out of fashio n w i t h i n a f e w months and it’ll b e a w a s t e o f money.
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A Part y w/ A Pu r p o se - Au ti sm so c ie t y r e ca p by : A l i c i a P e t t y
We had the distinct honor of covering a special fundraising event in support of autism. Lisa & Bobby Turner Jr., owners of Elegant Affairs by Lisa, hosted “Party with a Purpose” in Raleigh, NC with the intent to inform, educate, and advocate for autism. Their son Bobby “Tre,” age 23, has autism, but his parents make it known that he is no different than those of us who do not have autism. The fundraiser was held in his honor and for those like him. From the beautiful decorations to an atmo sphere that was filled with the love for Tre and support of all those who have autism, this was an evening of inspiration. The guests enjoyed lively music (both from a DJ and a live musician), great food and desserts, and shopping with some local vendors. A silent auction was held and fabulous door prizes were awarded throughout the evening. Our souls were even encouraged by a motivat ing word from a special guest. Lisa and her team at Elegant Affairs by Lisa did a fantastic job in the support of autism. Portions of the proceeds benefited the Autism Society of NC. Tre’s family consists of his parents, siblings LaToya, Fran kie and Shareena, a special niece Zaria, grandmother Dorothy, aunts and uncles, and his wonderful Care Team direct by ACI, all of whom take a lot of time to help with him and keep him safe. His parents are committed to giving Tre the best quality life that they can. Their family is just like any other family...they are involved in church, the community, and are committed to keeping active. Lisa and Bobby work full time but they support one another & apply God in every aspect of their lives. According to the Center for Disease Control, Autism affects 1 in 68 children, and is more prevalent in boys than girls. Raising an autis tic child is not something a family should go through alone. To find out more about Autism or to make a donation, visit www.AutismSociety-nc.org
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