Photo by: Photographs by Jackie
F O U N D A T I O N
Publisher’s Corner Coming into October deciding what to talk
Editor in Chief
Renee’ Smith Managing Editor
Christina Mial
about was really a toss up between Breast Cancer
Copy Editor
Awareness and Domestic
Drucilla Dunn
Violence. Both,having touched my life in its own way, I choose to dedicate this month to Domestic Violence and continue to celebrate and be a voice for Breast Cancer Awareness every day of my life. Having my own battles to deal with as it relates to Domestic Violence, I realize that this is something that
Writers
Dasan Ahanu Wambui Bahati Chisa Pennix-Brown Monica Daye Monica Hawthorne Beverly Haynes Chanel Hunter Schelle Holloway Stevii Mills Theresa Walker
needs attention brought to in the worse way. Passing women along the street watching their expressions, I
Photographer
began to wonder how many of us are really going
Jackie Smith
through our own “hell”. You would be surprised. Seeing a smile on someone’s face does not always mean they are happy, it just means that they are very good at hiding the
Layout
Alegna Media Designs Renee’ Smith
pain within. Having the opportunity to read some of the stories that were submitted and even hearing the stories that have been told, it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart to know that these women thought this was love and that this was the best they could do. I have to admit, I have cried, I have laughed and I have put stories down and just dropped my head in disbelief. But I celebrate with women young and old that have made it out, and overcome. My sisters, you have a voice here! Let’s use it and stop the violence and pain. Renee' Renee@diamonddivamag.com
Diamond Diva Magazine is published monthly. Any reproduction of any part of this publication is prohibited without written permission from the publisher prior to doing so. Diamond Diva Magazine does not accept responsibility for statements made by individuals featured or advertisers. Comments concerning this publication should be submitted to the editor by email at info@diamonddivamag.com
MONICA DAYE THE VOICE FOR SILENT WHISPERERS
Monica Daye is the voice for many silent whisperers. She is a leader, advocate, poet, and women's activist. Hailing from Durham, North Carolina this fearless woman and fierce spitfire wordsmith touches audiences around the country with her biting poetry, soulful stories, and heartfelt commitment to the healing of women and community. Through the gift of spoken word, Daye shares her intimate story of surviving sexual abuse and domestic violence. Daye was raped at a church convention at the age of 11, became a teenage run-away, and entered her first abusive relationship at the age of 13. Bad choices and hanging with the wrong crowd led Daye to a youth detention facility and to being classified as a juvenile delinquent at the age of 14. She was incarcerated for two years. After her release from the youth detention facility, Daye was still searching to fill the void of emptiness she carried in her spirit since the beginning of her abusive journey. In search of love and acceptance she found herself wrapped in the arms of another abusive man at the age of 17, but she made it through. Daye shares this story as her testimony that God and her gift of poetry was truly her savior. Through poetry she seeks to reach across generations and give hope to those facing the same obstacles she has overcome. Capturing the poetry scene by storm at the young age of 19, she performed at her first open mic at Yancy's Night Club in Raleigh, North Carolina. She released her first book, And You Thought You Had Problems: Well This Is My Life in January 2004. This began her progression towards community activism, poetry slams, theatrical performances, community organizing, workshop facilitation, media marketing, and radio. Along the way she discovered talents she never knew she possessed. Since dedicating her life fulltime to the gift of poetry and to the women's movement, Daye has been a force on the North Carolina poetry scene. She has been has shared her story and inspirational work at various universities (North Carolina Central University, University of Chapel Hill, Meredith College, NC State University, Shaw University,
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Duke University, University of Vermont, University of Denver, University of Pembroke) and churches (Union Baptist, Victorious Praise, Mount Zion AME, Compassion Ministries, Trinity AME, New Hope Baptist, New Life Community Church) across the country. She has been a guest feature on several local and national radio programs raising awareness on women's issues, domestic violence, sexual abuse, child abuse, HIV prevention, and gang violence. She has worked with Bimbe, Centerfest, The Martin Luther King Festival, National Organization for Women, Hip-Hop Feminist Nation, Durham Parks and Recreation Community Day, Juneteenth, and many other cultural arts organizations and festivals. Daye has graced stages with legends of poetry such as The Last Poets in 2007 and with well-known musicians Adina Howard and Ky-mani Marley. In 2005 Daye founded and organized Shairi's “Spit That Poetry!” open mic. The Durham based poetry venue was rated the #1 poetry venue in North Carolina. Shairi's open mic was more than a regular poetry venue; it stood on community morals, values, and family. It was a relaxed atmosphere full of good vibes and positive energy. It was a place where people were not only entertained but educated as well. Everyone was welcomed the stage with a 7 year old being the youngest poet to perform. In 2006 Daye started Shairi's Radio at WXDU 88.7fm. An extension of the poetry venue, it sought to bring the stage to the airwaves. With the radio show Daye created a platform for local and national underground artist to be heard, addressing real issues happening in the world. The show allowed the community to voice their thoughts and share their poetry for the world to hear. The show featured national poets such as 13th of Nazareth, Talaam Acey, Bluz, Queen Sheba, The Original Woman, and Saul Williams. It also featured national recording artists such as Adina Howard, Common, Baby Cham, Ky-mani Marley (Bob Marley's son), Wayne Wonder, Professor Griff (X Clan), Last Poets, Jaisun McMillian, and many others. In 2008 Daye decided to stop the popular open mic and stepped away from the radio show to focus on her personal goals, her family, and furthering her education. As the founder of STANDUP-SPEAK OUT (SUSO), Daye's personal mission is to speak out and act out against sexual violence and domestic abuse. SUSO was founded in the spring of 2005 as a community outreach program against domestic violence and sexual assault. That spring Daye organized SUSO's first series of community events to promote awareness on violence against women. In addition to raising community awareness SUSO launched its first community-wide collection drive amassing personal hygiene items for battered women's shelters and rape crisis centers in the state of North Carolina. Since its launch, SUSO's programs and services have expanded. The small outreach program has grown into becoming a state and nationally recognized non-profit organization. Daye's first album 7 Days of Freedom is a passionate collection of poetry mixed with Hip Hop music that was released in May 2006 to a sold out audience in Downtown Durham. The album tells real stories about violence against women, relationships, spiritual warfare, youth violence, and freedom. It is an ear opening experience of poetic truth that has captured the young and old with tracks such as “Sound da Sirens”, “3 Years”, “I'm At War”, and “6ft. Deep”. Produced by ME MusicWorks Studio in Rocky Mount, North Carolina, the album sold over 7,500 copies independently during its first year of release. Daye is currently working on a 2nd album, a book, and a documentary on her life story. Daye has been nominated for several awards during the course of her career as an artist and community activist. In 2007 she took home top honors in four categories at the National Underground Spoken Word & Poetry Awards including Best Female Spoken Word Artist, Best Album of the Year (7 Days of Freedom), Best Album Cover (7 Days of Freedom), and Community Oriented Underground Poet's Award 2006-2008. Her peers across the country have come to recognize her talent, drive, and dedication. She has also been commended as a staple in the North Carolina cultural arts cont. on page 9
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Dear Coffee Dear Coffee,
Join Dear Coffee as she spills the tea on relationships, love, lust and the things you want to say but just can’t! Have a question, comment or concern you want her to speak on, email: coffee@diamonddivamag.com
I'm a 28 year old brick house, if you let me tell it. I have this guy that I am really into but I think he's seeing someone else too. We've been spending tons of time together and when we first started seeing each other, I was seeing someone else too. Not seriously but I had an option when he called to say yes or keep my plans with my #1. Well, I've enjoyed my new Boo so much; I've bumped him up to my #1 spot and left my old Boo alone. I don't know if he's noticed the change in my availability and my attention to “all” his needs now but I have really stepped my game up. Should I just ask him if he's still seeing this other woman and if so let him know I'd like him to stop and we try to be exclusive? Or will that run him away because if he wanted to be exclusive he would've asked me by now? His phone doesn't ring off the hook when we are together. He's not texting all night when we are together. And YES, I've spent the night over his house with no unexpected guest. I don't want to ruin our good thing but I would love to settle down with him to see where we could be if we BOTH were on the same page. Help girl, I don't want this good catch to get away! Signed I Got a Good Thing
Dear I Got a Good Thing, He must have whipped that thang on you girl! New Boo takes the #1 spot? Talk about a good thing. This is simple. If you want him, go get him. Men sometimes want us to say, “Hey Boy, I want you and ONLY you! Can you dig it?” Well, not in those words exactly but you get my drift. Who knows, he may not be seeing his #1 anymore and you have been bumped up as well. Men don't really go around announcing that they have a good thing. It's normally just understood by the things they do. Hey, they can't help their communication skills sometimes. If you “really” want to know, right after you've cooked him an awesome dinner say, “I bet your other lil Boo can't cook like this?” If he hints around to anything close to “What other Boo?” you got him girl! Then you know what's for dessert!!! Enjoy! Ya girl, COFFEE
Monica Daye......The voice for Silent Whisperers cont. community. Daye has been able to also showcase her gifts on stage and screen. She has starred in several stage plays such as Anatomy of a Woman Abused, HerStory of Love: A Stronger Daye, and Campaign For Change-Riding with Joe Crack: an anti-gang production. She was honored for her participation in the award-winning documentary Street Life Education in 2008. She was also featured in Healing through Spoken Word: A Survivor's Story, which is a documentary released in October 2009 addressing domestic violence and the healing benefits of spoken word. Having majored in Psychology, Daye continues her studies in Art Therapy and Holistic Healing. Her goal is to eventually earn her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. She envisions the arts as a way to aid people in overcoming traumatic experiences. Using her own life journey as model for a therapeutic process, Daye has effectively used poetry, music, journal writing, visual arts, drama, and dance as a way to unlock the mystery of pain that hindered her own emotional stability. As a therapist, she plans to work with victims of abuse and batterers to identify the root causes and bring an end to the vicious cycle of domestic violence. Having been on both sides of the cycle of abuse, Daye seeks to show the emotional scars caused by abuse and how those abused grapple with understanding and contending with the consequences of abuse. Daye's journey is a celebration of the power of transformative change. Though she was raped at a young age, abused as an adolescent, became troubled and rebellious as a teen, and found herself lost and confused as a young adult, her gift with words paved the way for the emergence of a powerful new presence. Daye stands up and speaks out to and for those who are denied their own voice. She has tackled the confusion caused by pain and stands on the brink of the unfolding of new possibilities. Armed with vision, courage, and a pen, there is nothing that can stand in her way.
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July 2011
Diamond Diva
This is "Just Stevii" and I look forward to helping you turn your dreams into reality by giving you practical steps to help you along your journey!
Just Stevii
Stevii A. Mills Community Relationship Coordinator 949.208.4352 seriousstatement@hotmail.com
Dealing With Distractions On a daily basis we are thrown darts of distractions. The choice that we have to make is how we will deal with distractions that come our way.
First, let's define the word distraction. According to www.wikipedia.com, a distraction is the divided attention of an individual or group from the chosen object of attention onto the source of distraction. Simply put, a distraction will take you away from your intended goal or purpose. God has given us all an individual and unique purpose. When we allow distractions to enter in our lives, we are taken off our intended course. Secondly, we must recognize the distractions in our lives. Distractions aren't necessarily negative. For example, a sick child is not negative but she or he can be distracting you from getting your goal accomplished. There are negative distractions such as friends who aren't going towards the positive things in life. Third, we must realize how to balance and not allow distractions to interfere in our daily routines. The best way that I know to deal with the inevitable distractions in life is to strategically plan your course of action. Break down your goal and set yearly, monthly, weekly and daily tasks to accomplish it. When you have a set course of action, you will be prepared to deal with the unexpected things that come.
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS ALIVE By: Wambui Bahati
In many instances, victims are manipulated to believe they deserve this treatment and it is somehow their fault. Abusers know exactly what to say and do to keep the abused in emotional captivity. Victimizing the Victim Victims view leaving as being more painful than staying, because of the imagined and real repercussions either from the perpetrator or from society at large. Many people in the world still don't understand domestic violence. Therefore, they victimize the victim further by blaming the victim or making comments like: "You should have just left." "I would never be so stupid as to stay in an abusive relationship." "That would never happen to me."
Unfortunately, domestic violence is very much alive and well -- and thriving. According to the National Victims Center, one woman is raped every minute, and 30% of all women murdered in this country are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands. Domestic violence is a particularly grim topic and a vicious crime, because it involves pain and suffering (even loss of life) inflicted by a friend, someone who claims to care, or a socalled loved one. Many people ask, "Why don't the victims just leave? Why do they stay?" The Abuse We Don't See Usually by the time the physical abuse starts in a relationship, the emotional and psychological abuse has already destroyed all the dignity and self-esteem of the victim. Victims feel ashamed and are embarrassed to tell others about their situations. They are fearful of leaving because of threats from their abusers and financial dependence.
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People make jokes in our society about men "getting over" or using women -- men who are " Players." Even today, there are still groups of people who have the mindset that women are not equal to men and are just sexual objects. Control Domestic violence is about control -- being mentally controlled by a significant other. That is the reason why, after leaving an abusive relationship, a victim will go back to her abuser an average of four times before she decides she has the mental strength to leave for good. Now What? I believe the remedy for domestic violence lies in building a society in which we honor ourselves. When we honor ourselves, it is difficult to dishonor someone else or to be dishonored. Yeah, easier said than done. We can start with our children and try to stop domestic violence by educating the new generations. Teach Our Children Tell our children how wonderful they are. Tell our girls and our boys from the time they are born that they are glorious miracles. Teach
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them to love, respect, and celebrate who they are -- just because. Teach them that we all come from one wonderful source. Teach them that each of us can only be as strong as the weakest among us. Teach our children how to honor by honoring them. Teach our children how to respect themselves by respecting them and respecting ourselves. Teach our children that to love someone -- being in love -- is to encourage each other to be free and to support each other in expressing and exploring all of the wonderful possibilities in life. Teach them that love is not about control. Love is about wanting the very best for all concerned. In the Meantime In the meantime, let's start by at least acknowledging that domestic violence does exist and is a major problem in our society. It knows no economic, racial, religious, gender, or educational boundaries. Let's take it out of the closet and deal with it. Talk about it. Tell somebody about it. Support your local shelters and any programs in your community that are about helping to save the lives of victims of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and psychological and emotional abuse. They need our help. By helping them, we are helping ourselves. The Price According to a report from the American Medical Association, family violence costs this nation from 5 to 10 billion dollars annually in medical expenses, police and court costs, shelters and foster care, sick leave, absenteeism, and non-productivity. Educate Yourself Educate yourself, your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors, and, of course, your children. If you are in an abusive relationship, know that there is life after abuse. Know the Warning Signs If you meet a man who says, "Yes, I've hit women in the past, but they made me do it," RUN. Avoid anyone who rushes you into a firm commitment very early in the relationship. Think twice about committing to someone who says, "I cannot live without you." If you're in a relationship where you feel you have to watch what you say -- you are not comfortable being yourself, because you don't want to upset him or be criticized -- know that this is not a good thing. If you're in a relationship with someone who wants to know what your every move is -- he interrogates you about where you were, who you were with, and what happened -- run. Think twice before you get into a relationship with someone who never takes the blame for anything if according to him, it is always somebody else's fault. No matter how flattered you feel that someone wants you all to himself (disrupting relationships with friends and family), this is a serious warning sign. There are many other signs that can alert us to be cautious about continuing a relationship with a certain person. Many times we see the writing on the wall, but for some reason, we refuse to read it until it's cont. on page 13
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Domestic Violence is ALIVE cont. too late. Don't Settle Don't be a "settler." By this, I mean, don't just settle for any relationship for any reason. Know what you want and know especially what you don't want in a relationship, ahead of time. Stop Domestic Violence We are miraculous individuals. Many of us have "beat the odds" more than once. We have done what some said could not be done. We've moved forward when we thought we were stuck. We have faced challenges and walked through them with our heads held high. Surely, together, we can end this unnecessary pain and suffering. We can move domestic violence out of our lives. I believe we do have the power and the ability to build a society in which we honor ourselves. When we honor ourselves, it is difficult to dishonor someone else or to be dishonored. Note: Although in this article I speak specifically of women as victims of domestic violence, please understand that many men are also victims of family and relationship violence.
Open Your Eyes Love is a funny thing. We close our eyes and visualize our perfect life with all the elements that will make us happy. When you “Open Your Eyes� the reality of it all is that we have to laugh sometimes to keep from crying and everything we need is not right in front of us. Wendy Brooks fell into love and has all the bumps and bruises to show for it. When the backstabbing and betrayal would arise, closing her eyes always elevated her to a different place. It was full of love, lust, sex and people only her imagination would allow her to have; those were her elements of happiness. Behind the expensive suits, cars, clubs and money that comes with a new love interest; does love really not cost a thing?
To purchase your copy visit our website www.openyoureyesbook.com -13-
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“Thoughts of a Black Woman” By: Theresa Walker
Are Black Women Jealous of Each Other? I consider myself to look like the typical BBW (Beautiful Black Woman); small up top and curvy at the bottom. As a beautiful black woman, I attempt to stay in shape by pursuing physical activity at least 3 days a week. Although I'm not always successful at meeting this 3 day goal, I will do at least 1 day. I am not conceited. Nor am I intimidated by another woman, but I Theresa Walker is a licensed Cosmetologist,
do have eyes that look in the mirror every day. Therefore, I know what I look like and I have to agree with the people who take the time to bless me with their compliments. I am beautiful!!!
Cosmetology Instructor, Makeup
I know that I am wonderfully made and I AM GOD'S PERFECT
Artist and Model.
CREATION.
She is the owner of
When I am out and about I am often told by women and men of
“beautiful images”
various races and ethnicities that I am pretty. Of course I embrace
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the compliment and continue to proceed with whatever I'm doing.
Studio” and
However, a lot of the time when I make eye contact with another
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education. To know
intimidation, inferiority, negativity, and anything else that states
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“beautiful images”
this one of the reasons why black women are labeled as being
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angry?
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Booking and Contact info: Theresa Walker (919) 229-9837 twalker@beautifulim agesboutique.com Beautifulimages1@
normally is “hi”. I'm not sure if my greeting changed the way they felt about me. Hopefully, I at least influenced them to smile once making eye contact with someone, especially another “sister”. Smiles are contagious and uplifting. Challenge yourself to smile when making eye contact with someone, especially with people who look like you! To be continued…….
gmail.com
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From a Males Perspective Ok Ladies, we all have tried to figure out, "What was HE Thinking".Well, now here's your chance to find out. Have a burning question, that needs a male’s touch, or you just want to know why men do what they do, then get it from A Males Perspective. Send all questions, comments and even your concerns to info@diamonddivamag.com, subject “Male’s Perspective” and let's find out what indeed he was really thinking.
IAshamed
She fell in love with his locs never knew he was a demon head full of serpents Should've known by the hiss she told me it was his lisp said she melted from his kiss Went from the pm to the dawn In memory bliss Never realizing his true aim Lynched her independence With a mob of mind games sometimes there are guerillas in the midst how many men offer that genie in a bottle never come of the wish commitment doesn't look like this Playing her emotions like a gimbe tapping on goat skin, no hope skin thin, so bruises chessboard beauty I want to check your mate never been that good at chemistry now I'm trying to find the temperature when love turns to hate I can't scale back the impact can't measure the weight train of thought off track She can't carry the freight railroaded into despair I blow kisses to the air so that comfort finds her when the wind blows I tell her you found a magician between the sheets hoped for sleight of hand His was heavy with each spell cast illusion it would end attempted murder on your perseveranceI thought that was a sin warped record of abuse as this cycle spins See he did it again did it again did it again Imagine if love found refuge in your heart like castaways find open beds in homeless sheltersIf tears hardly came like most women's orgasms if you claimed your happiness like responsible fathers nurtured the tomorrow you deserve You could have faith in romance like Big Momma's faith in the word Let there be light commitment has to come other than in the middle of the night So out of chaos comes the sun Lord, let thy will be done on this earth where his ill intentions sprout from that devil's head as it is in heaven where she has finds her strength and conviction Thought he was a helluva good guy passion she thought was rooted in his mind Said that was the root of the red in his eyes should've paid attention to the signs Stop looking into her eyes is like peeking into windows of a house joy never made it out of
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I want to dial 911 this disturbance isn't domestic it's an import he brought this madness here Forced her to swallow her pride intoxicated in confusion he kept the keys to escape told her not to drink and drive I tell her freedom is in your declaration of independence honestly…you're able This penny got a whole lot to overcome but it's not hopeless See she fell in love with his locs I dread to think how dependency has her locked In this serpents grasp as he squeezes an angel so she can't fly Feeds her poisons with his lies should've known by the hiss you said it was his lisp I never believed a word he uttered knew he was fake from the first time he stuttered I should've saved you warned you to beware his kiss saved you from being bitten by his fists © 2010 Chris “Dasan Ahanu” Massenburg
Nearly three out of four (74%) of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. Its has to stop... Domestic Violence is a violent confrontation between family or household members involving physical harm, sexual assault, or fear of physical harm. Family or household members include spouses / former spouses, those in (or formerly in) a dating relationship, adults related by blood or marriage, and those who have a biological or legal parentchild relationship. The batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats, psychological abuse, and isolation to coerce and to control the other person. The violence may not happen often, but may remain a hidden and constant terrorizing factor. Domestic violence is not only physical and sexual violence but also psychological. Psychological violence means intense and repetitive degradation, creating isolation, and controlling the actions or behaviors of the spouse through intimidation or manipulation to the detriment of the individual. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED!!! Shaun Foster
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Universally Flattering Pieces By : N. Chanel Hunter
Pieces included: Sleath Dress, Long Sleeve Tee, A-line Skirt, Belt, Scarf, Floppy Hat, Bootcut Trousers, Bootcut Jeans, Flat Dress Shoes, High Heel Shoes, Cape, Long Sleeve Button Down Shirt, Long Sleeve Cardigan, Clutch, Structured bag, and a Blazer Jacket
What else to make your outfit pop? ! Remember to always use color know what colors suit your complexion and body shape, use those colors in you outfits...push the envelope ! Add sparkle to your outfit with accessories such as diamonds and pearls, beads, tribal or ethnic pieces, and statement pieces are a plus. ! Be confident in what you have on!
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SURVIVING THE By: Monica Hawthorne
Storm
There are many words that can be used to describe me, although none are more horrifying than the word victim. Like so many women I know, I was once involved in an abusive relationship. For more than 10 years, I suffered mental, emotional, and physical abuse at the hands of my ex. What started out as a great friendship quickly grew into a whirlwind love affair. Our daughter was conceived only two months after we began dating. Life was good, until Paul (name changed) cheated on me. Rumors, that were later found to be the truth, began to surface about other women and pregnancies. Paul denied every one of the claims and managed to talk his way back into good graces with me. In spite of my doubts, I continued the relationship. Reality set in the day I brought our daughter home from the hospital after giving birth; he broke up with me. A friend later informed me that Paul was at his new girlfriend's house the same day. After a year hiatus, a chance meeting brought us back together as a couple. I was willing to forgive and forget our past issues.
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What seemed like a great idea soon became a nightmare. The abuse started with name calling and progressed into Paul smacking me or hitting me with his fist across my face. It eventually turned into choking. Many of our fights started because of his jealousy. He would strike me for being near a guy or for knowing a guy he didn't know. I was attacked multiple times for an ex boyfriend (Mark) who I dated and broke up with 4 years prior to Paul. In fact, I had no contact with Mark and he lived in another state. Once on a trip to NY, Paul argued with me about Mark and a guy at a party that sat beside me on the couch that ended in blood being shed, when he hit me over and over in the face and head. I was literally seeing stars. I was rescued by a bystander and taken to the hospital. It was the first time I thought he could kill me. I returned home to NC with scratches on my neck, face and chest, a blood clot in my left eye, a concussion and my nails torn from the nail
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bed. Till this very day, Mark has no idea that I was abused by Paul because I dated him. Over the next 8years, the madness intensified. It seemed anything I did or said would set him off. I stayed with him and gave birth to our son. The fights went on, and became public. We fought at our daughter's daycare in front of other children, restaurants, parties, concerts, and in the car while driving. No matter how many times I called the police, a neighbor had to intervene or a warrant was filed against him, I still loved him and stayed. Even a knife being put to my throat and being kicked and punched until I couldn't walk wasn't enough for me to leave. My self esteem was gone and the shame upon me was heavy. I was depressed, confused, angry and suicidal. I became overweight and developed high blood pressure. The stress was overwhelming. I soon turned to the church, seeking love and guidance. It was my safe place and my peace. Paul soon followed me, and life became good, again. We got married and enjoyed and respected each other. It was what I longed for. After 11 months into the marriage, Paul cheated on me with a woman in the church. It soon became 3 other women in the same church. He tried to lie his way out of the ordeal, but he couldn't. I mustard up the strength and courage to finally say, enough! My children and I moved in with my grandmother and eventually got our own home. After 11 years of hell, I filed for divorce and was finally free. Today, I am stronger and wiser. I allowed my painful past to catapult me into my wonderful future. I have great kids, a beautiful fiancĂŠ, a great career, and family and friends that love me. I am proud to say, survivor is the best word to describe me.
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ADVERTISING IS ESSENTIAL TO ANY
OPERATING BUDGET Advertising in YOUR Future...... WE have a package for that!
With the unlimited reach of the world wide web, we assure our clients the exposure needed to getting their business recognized. We know that exposure is the key to obtaining new business and maintaining your current business. With this ever changing economy, Diamond Diva Magazine has created advertising packages to fit every need.
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July 2011
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THE SOCIAL MEDIA REVOLUTION is
Live
The Social Media Revolution is live. Social media has taken over the way we communicate, interact, and market. That is why small businesses that want to be competitive need to
embrace the revolution. So, as the Social Media Concierge I want to provide the top three things that businesses can do to increase their online presence. 1.
Google yourself and your business. See what information is out there about you and your brand. Google will rank your website, Facebook page, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. Once you have the information make sure that what's out there represents you and your business in the proper light and shows accurate information.
2.
Get a Facebook Fan Page. This is your way to connect with existing and new customers. People can gain perspective on your brand and your business culture. Today's consumer is eager to learn about new businesses and they want to share with their friends.
3.
Make sure you have a profile on LinkedIn.com. This is a social media site that is made just for the business professional. There are millions of people that use this site to gain contacts, search for jobs, and employers are looking for employees on LinkedIn too! Having an updated resume, qualified network, and recommendations are the key to creating a profile on LinkedIn.
Once you have completed these basic steps then you are on your way to attracting more clients. People that will advocate your brand are out there and will help you market as long as you are in the game! If you need help with achieving any of the aforementioned social media goals then please contact me at LadyBiznessOnline@Yahoo.com. If you “Like” my page at www.Facebook.com/SocialMediaConcierge you will receive a free “What's the Bizness Wednesday” Social Media Tip. You can also sign up for my blog at www.LadyBizness.Wordpress.com and you can even attend one of our Bizness Branding Classes for hands on activities and support. Remember to Show Up & Show Out with your Social Media Concierge. Chisa D. Pennix-Brown CEO of Lady Bizness
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THE LAYERS OF By: Beverly Haynes
Domestic Violence right!” ( equivalent of a slap) “You're so ugly! Who's gonna want you? Look at how long it took you to get me!” (equivalent of a punch) “You're nothing without me!” (equivalent of a kick) Some may wonder how anyone can allow themselves to be treated in that manner. There are so many contributing factors. A person can be convinced that they are “less than” just like they can be convinced of their
Domestic violence is mainly known for physical beatings that can leave the victims with almost an unrecognizable appearance or even with a loss of life. This is not just a crime, but a tragedy. What's even more tragic, is many suffer and can't/won't get help or don't know that they need it. I'm not just talking about the physical abuse but also verbal. Verbal abuse can be just as damaging as physical. This is an act of tearing down someone in a way, place or level that initially only the victim and God
worth. It is especially easy when the victim has self-esteem issues or the abuser has an extraordinary gift of persuasion. This is why we need to not be judgmental and quick to tell someone how to respond in such a situation. It's like trying to tell someone that they should be able to walk although they have broken legs. If one's way of processing information has been distorted and their selfesteem level demolished, doing anything other than surviving can be almost impossible in their mind.
can see. Physical wounds are visible and eventually heal…mental wounds can create
What may be surprising is the number of men
irreversible destruction that devours self-
who are domestic violence victims. The
esteem and self-image. It can make one go
evidence often speaks louder than the victim
from having a fashion model strut to having a
(both married and dating situations). The
zombie like existence.
depth of abuse can range from a punch, slap or scratch during a heated argument to
Not sure of what verbal abuse sounds like? It
an all-out assault on a regular basis. There
varies per situation/participants but mainly
are many things that can trigger an episode
consists of negative statements/questions
and is typical of those situations where the
that are meant to belittle or intimidate a
woman is the victim.
person. “Stupid” or “You can't do anything
In attempting to help the abused victim,
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Diamond Diva
does anyone consider the abuser as a victim? Really? Yes, really. Most abusers were abused themselves or learned to become such based on childhood observations, so it's seen as normal. If neither party believes that help is needed then there is nothing anyone can do except to pray for protection and deliverance. (I'm not saying don't call authorities when abuse is taking place just understand there is only so much that those on the outside can do.) I'm not a licensed therapist but I would like to offer warning signs of a potentially abusive relationship. If a person is being physical to objects in an argument or speaking negatively to the other person with the attempt to gain control of them or belittle, it may lead to abuse. This is often true if after time it only gets worse. Let's love ourselves enough to know that we're much too valuable to allow someone to take away or destroy what's not theirs. If you're not sure of your value, just know that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Ask Him and He will tell you of your worth in His word. Also, create your own value and base it on whatever positive thing that you are proud of. If you haven't accomplished your proudest moment yet, then use your imagination toward your future accomplishments. Once we understand our worth we can live life in expectancy of only the best that is offered. Follow me on twitter: @ b_rose03 Find me on Facebook….facebook.com/b.rose7 Check out my blogs…https://brosespeaks.blogspot.com Email…b.rose03@yahoo.com
1/4 women have been in an abusive relationship. For everyone that says "not me" or "I wish he would", your sister is trying to figure out when did things go wrong. Your mother doesn't know how someone at her age can be in "this situation". Your neighbor smiles at you at the mailbox but hurries back into the house before he accuses her of flirting. Your daughter comes home and locks herself in her room and you brush it off as teenage horomones but she really can't even tell you it's because the "nice young man from church" is whooping up on her in Jesus name. It may not be YOU but it could be HER. I use to say "not me" all the while throwing the first punch, never realizing one day, somebody was gonna hit me back. Then the guilt of "well if I hadn't done this" would set in. Just as much as he shouldn't hit us, we shouldn't hit him. And if we do, not only do we not need to be with him, but fellas if a lady makes you forget she is a woman and you fight her like "the man she thinks she is"... LET IT GO!!! Be the "better man" and walk away. Breaking the silence on abuse at ALL levels. Point blank period, it ain't right. It ain't love. It ain't our purpose!
Christina L. Mial