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Let me start off with a quick overview of who I am. My name is Chavus Holland. I was born in Gulfport, MS in October 1976. I lived in Long Beach, MS until I was 5 years old, then our family moved to the country. Lizana, MS was our new home and it was definitely a great place to grow up! I am the youngest of my parent’s two sons. My brother, Wayne, is 2 years older than me. My parents, George and Cindie Holland are still happily married today. I wouldn’t say we grew up poor… I can’t ever remember a time of us not having what we needed, but we certainly weren’t rich! Both of my parents have always been hard workers and great providers for our family. The 4 of us lived in a 14’ X 48’ (2BR 1bath) mobile home. At our property in Lizana, our closest neighbor was Lizana Baptist Church. The church was practically in our front yard. I can remember joining the other kids there every summer for vacation bible school, but that was the extent of religion in my childhood. That is where I believe the seed was planted. I have always believed in a higher power!!! I have always believed that we were created by a Great creator, and I never thought we were just the results of some big explosion! As I got older, I had the understanding that “church people/religious people” were hypocrites! (at least that’s how it looked to me) What I mean by that is, it appeared that these people were just like me. On the outside, they lived the same kind of life as I did. They fought, struggled, drank, cursed, and had regular problems just like me! They were not perfect. However, I thought since they were “religious” then they were supposed to live a perfect life! I know!!! That sounds so stupid to me even as I write it today! It’s embarrassing to think that I truly was that naïve…BUT, that is why I am writing this because as I was praying recently, God put this on my heart and I felt like he was asking me to share my testimony. Just in case there are others who think the way I used to think, not so long ago! If my testimony can change/save just one person’s life, then it is worth the time to share! 2
So, let me make this clear up front…I’ve lived my life to the fullest. I have made MANY mistakes throughout my life! I have never been perfect, nor am I perfect NOW! I still make mistakes daily! The only difference between the old me and the new “religious” me, is I currently have an active relationship with God. That’s IT! So, my point of this whole “sharing my testimony” statement is: 1. To share the good news about my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 2. To let you know that you too can have the same rewarding relationship with Christ. You can have eternal life with Christ! FREE of charge to you, (the cost has already been paid in full) no strings attached! Even though I’m going to start this testimony in early 2000, keep in mind, as I’ve gotten older and began to see the big picture, I have come to realize that He never left me! I know now for a fact that God has always been there with me through everything … What makes me so special you ask? NOTHING…He has always been with you as well! And he is with you right now! You see, God’s timing is always perfect! He does things and puts people in our lives at just the right time! The problem is this...MOST of the time His plan and His timing, is not what we want or even what we think we need at that time! But if we have faith and trust in Him, we will look back and understand why our lives went in the direction they did, when they did. I haven’t always understood this myself, and that is why I’m sharing my testimony with you today! Here we go…In early 2000, my life was spiraling out of control! I was 24 years old, and I was going through a longterm relationship breakup. I had turned hard to alcohol trying to drown the pain. I was a true mess! I had always been a hard worker, and a good person, but my partying lifestyle was starting to affect my job, and my relationships with the people who cared about me. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle! I realized I was in a fight I couldn’t win alone, 3
so one night, (as I sat alone in my truck, half drunk) I remember praying to God for help! I was an emotional wreck and I needed help! This was not the first time in my life that I had talked (prayed) to God, but it was the first time that I ever realized/felt like He was listening! I don’t remember word for word what my prayer was that night, but it probably went something like this: “Lord, IF you can hear me, and if you are listening, if you even care about me, I need You! I need your help! I can’t continue to live in this misery! I know what I want, but I don’t know how to get it by myself!” I remember specifically asking for God, that night, to put a female into my life who appreciated me for who I was. I asked God for someone that I could grow old with and share my life with. I asked for a woman who I could start a family with. I wanted to live a life, similar to the life my parents had lived. I remember looking into the star covered sky at that moment, as a feeling came over me that is indescribable. It was a feeling of peace. Now don’t misunderstand what I’m telling you all here! This isn’t a fairy tale story where the skies opened-up at that moment and… BAM, here’s my new “perfect” future wife and all my troubles were gone! This is a true story! I fumbled on through my life, staggering in and out of bars alone for the next couple months like nothing ever happened! You see, I had really challenged God, because I had asked for something that he could certainly deliver to me, (HE is God, He can do anything) but He would have to deliver in an unlikely way! That’s right, she would have to find me in a bar! That was my home. You know how it is, when a single person says they can’t find a decent person to date/start a relationship with…You never hear someone say “Hey, go to a bar! That’s where “marriage material” hangs out!” LOL… So, in June 2000, Adrian walked into the Ramada Inn Lounge in Diamondhead, MS with a group of her college friends. She was only 19 years old and had come in using a fake ID! Good one God!!! I had met and partied with her 4
friends the previous night. I would say I’ve always been a stubborn person, and no one knows me better than God, so of course He needed to make her STAND OUT to me! She had some green eyes that demanded recognizing, among other features that caught my attention!!! She was super cute! Short blonde hair, beautiful smile, everything where it needed to be… yep she was sexy! (I later learned, her super cool looking eyes, were actually fake green contacts…but her normal eyes are even more beautiful!) The attraction between us was immediate! I fell for her instantly! But I was still fighting my own demons! I had a great time that night. We said our goodbyes in the parking lot as we exchanged phone numbers! I was truly happy for the first time in months and I couldn’t wait to spend more time with Adrian! As the weeks ticked on, however, I gradually pushed Adrian away! I was scared! I was weak, and I didn’t want to hurt her or myself! I look back now and think, WOW! What an idiot I was back then! Adrian was persistent as she demanded my attention! I felt what she felt too, but I fought the feelings until mid2001, when I finally decided that I had no reason to keep pushing her away! She was good for me! She was good to me! She was exactly what I had asked (prayed) to God for! Wait WHAT??? So why am I just realizing this and WHY in the world did she hang around a whole year waiting on me? I never claimed to be a smart man! My life back then and still today, has consistently improved with Adrian by my side! Shortly after I quit fighting what was, obviously meant to be, I “PUT A RING ON IT” and she said yes! We had a wedding and built a house together in Biloxi, MS and life was good. I hadn’t talked to God in a while... Adrian and I both had agreed up front that not having any kids was fine by both of us. So, in December 2002, (Christmas Eve morning to be exact) when we discovered we were pregnant with our first child, we were both seriously excited! Six months later, everything was looking great with the 5
pregnancy. I was welding for a little fab shop in Slidell, La and Adrian was a sales consultant at a formalwear business in Gulfport, MS. I hadn’t talked to God in quite some time. You know how you have some people in your life that you only talk to when you need something? That was how my relationship was back then with God! I was on my lunch break, sitting in my truck eating. (I still can’t eat ham salad to this day!) Adrian called me while she was on her way down Pass Rd to pick up lunch. As we were talking, I heard a strange noise (sounded like she had dropped her phone) followed by a scream and then silence! I said “ADRIAN? ARE YOU THERE? WHAT HAPPENED???” I heard Adrian repeatedly moaning “Oh my God Oh my God! Please no!!! I heard another voice, it was a guy talking to Adrian, asking if she was ok. I’m in full panic mode!!! The guy picks up her phone and says “HELLO?” I asked what’s happened? He panicky says “Sir your wife has been in a wreck!” I asked if she was ok, he hesitated, I said “Sir she’s 6 months pregnant! Is she ok?” He nervously said, “you need to get here ASAP!” Adrian had been hit head on by another driver and her vehicle was totaled! I dropped the hammer on that little GMC Sonoma and barely breathed it all the way to Biloxi Regional Hospital! I remember having tears flying out of both eyes while zooming in and out of cars wide open down Interstate 10! I remember talking, pleading, BEGGING, God for mercy on my unborn son and my wife! I pulled up at the hospital at the same time as the ambulance! I was by Adrian’s side! She was beat up and bruised but overall, she was in pretty good condition! Now all attention and concern was on our unborn son. A quick ultrasound gave us comfort of knowing that his little heartbeat was strong and there was no sign of any problems! My prayers, once again, had been answered! Praise the Lord, right? Nope…you see even after something so scary, I still put God back on the shelf. Not on purpose! That’s just how our relationship had always been. August 2003, the birth of our healthy son! What a special 6
blessing! A gift only God can provide! SHOUT it to the world…PRAISE THE LORD, right? Nope…you see even after witnessing and experiencing something so incredible, I still just put God back on the shelf! Again, not on purpose, just habit. Life was flying by and changing rapidly, Adrian and I had an opportunity arise in May 2006, for us to purchase the formalwear business that she had been working at since she was a teen. We second mortgaged our house and jumped into debt head first! Life was great, and we felt like we had the world by the tail! Praise the Lord, right? Nope! Looking back now I really believe, we thought we were in control of all the great things in our lives! We were getting cocky! You see, I had forgotten all about the rough times when we had to turn to God to make it through. I realize today that we never gave God the glory of all His blessings in our lives. Again, not on purpose, just out of habit. In July 2008, our beautiful 2nd child was born! A beautiful healthy little girl! SAME…Look what we did! Our life is fabulous…BLAH BLAH BLAH… Life was so different for us now. We were living a great life, but it felt like it was flying by! I remember having thoughts about growing old and dying and things like that. I mean now I’ve got an awesome wife and 2 beautiful, healthy kids to take care of. I know for a fact over the years we were invited to church by multiple people. We always had an excuse why we couldn’t attend. We didn’t need God ALL the time! I remember going to a Mardi Gras parade with Adrian and the kids in D’Iberville, MS in February 2010. We were there with some friends, drinking a few beers and having a great time. As the “Holy Roller” float (as we called it) went past, they threw a handful of green pamphlets into the air as they passed. As those pamphlets slowly tumbled through the air, one landed perfectly on the back of my hand that I had resting on my truck bed. So here I am with a beer in one hand and a religious pamphlet on the back of the other. 7
We laughed and joked that “I must not be living right!”. Hahahaha… I slyly slid the pamphlet into my pocket. I read it when we got home. While reading it, it freshened up my memories about how I had called on God and he was there for me! EVERY time I needed him! Was this a sign? A reminder from an old friend that I hadn’t talked to in a minute? I put it on our refrigerator with a magnet and read it to myself almost daily! I still have it today in a safe place. Life continued on… Then on March 29, 2011 our lives changed dramatically… forever! The day started off normal for us. Chase, our son, who was now 7 years old, was not feeling well, so he asked if he could stay home from school. We were facing a record -breaking week at our business. Prom season was in full swing! Life was good! We let Chase stay home from school and took him to our store, where we would be working that day. Avery, our daughter who was 2 years old now, was dropped off at her daycare. The day was crazy. We were as busy as we had anticipated. When it came time to go pick up Avery, I decided to make Chase ride with me. When we were on our way back to the store (approximately 5:15 PM) I received a panicked call from my Mom who works with us. She told me there had been a wreck in front of our store and there was a girl injured. In my mind I imagined that someone had pulled out in front of someone on the extremely busy Pass Rd. As I pulled up, I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to learn! I walked around front and noticed a huge presence of cops and fire fighters. I began getting stitches of information from different people on the scene where I learned that the young lady injured was the Gulfport Police Chief’s daughter. The chatter was that DeAnna Tucker had been hit by a drunk driver. The driver, who was traveling at a very high rate of speed, had left the roadway, coming completely into our parking lot! He had struck her parked car while she was standing beside it, buckling in her 4- year old son. The impact pinned her between her car and a pickup truck in our parking lot. DeAnna Tucker’s young son was not injured! 8
DeAnna was not so fortunate. Later that night, when Adrian and I finally got a chance to talk to each other about the incident, I was mortified by Adrian’s story that she emotionally shared with me in detail! I did not know it, but Adrian had gone out to comfort the injured girl in the parking lot, until help could arrive. There was also an emt in the store who went out to help. As soon as the crash happened, a young man who had witnessed the collision, rushed to the car and removed the young boy and brought him to safety inside the store. Adrian didn’t realize it was DeAnna right away. DeAnna had just come in the store, with her young son, and spoke with Adrian about bridesmaid dresses for her upcoming wedding. Her wedding date was just a month or so away. DeAnna, just 29 years old, passed away around 11pm that night in Gulfport. We were heartbroken! Adrian was inconsolable! I promise you, Adrian cried for 3-4 weeks straight in private! She tried to keep it tucked in, but I could see the hurt peeking out, even in public! The thing about mine and Adrian’s relationship is, we’ve always felt each other’s feelings. Now I’m not saying I wasn’t heartbroken myself as well, but I hadn’t seen the things she had seen! I didn’t know DeAnna prior to this like Adrian did. I hadn’t just spoken to DeAnna right before she walked out into this nightmare. Seeing my wife this upset for so long was very hard to witness! I pleaded with God…That’s right, just like usual, I called on my old friend for His help. We were searching for understanding! We were seeking answers to the many questions we had! Why this young lady? Why in front of her son? Why in our parking lot? So many more questions! This just doesn’t make sense! As the weeks went on, I finally convinced Adrian that she needed to talk to someone about everything she was trying to hold inside. I was truly worried about her mental wellbeing. She told me that she would like to speak with a local preacher that we had once met. His name was Paul Crowley and he was the Pastor at Woolmarket Baptist 9
Church. I stopped by the parsonage behind the church one morning, unannounced, and asked for his help. I reintroduced myself to him and told him that my wife would like to speak to him soon. He scheduled an appointment and that was that. I didn’t go with Adrian to see Paul (I had to watch our kids) but, Adrian came home with a new outlook on life. Paul talked with Adrian, (his wife was there in an adjoining room watching TV) and before Adrian left, she prayed with Paul. That night Adrian surrendered her soul to her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! When dealing with God I’ve learned that most things are not instant. It’s not like, the flip of a switch, and everything is suddenly fixed! I describe it more like a seed that is planted and if nourished properly…it will grow! Adrian nourished this seed and as she began reading the bible nightly, I really began to get interested myself. It was our new thing! When the kids would go to bed each night Adrian would read me stories from the new testament. I loved hearing these stories about Jesus! As crazy as this sounds…I didn’t really know ANYTHING about Jesus! So, the person whom I had always turned to when life got rocky, and the person whom I had always immediately ignored as soon as life was smooth again, was now the person I wanted to know all about! As the months ticked by, I decided I was ready to talk to Brother Paul myself. The date was August 16, 2011. This date is important, I’ll explain why later. Now remember, I’m the guy who believed that, “if you wanted to be a follower of God, you had to live a perfect life!”. I was nervous because I knew I was far from perfect! I couldn’t ever imagine being perfect, and I knew that God knew that about me too! I remember Bro Paul made small talk with me before getting down to business. He could probably tell I was nervous. If he didn’t know already, he was about to find out, that I was no Biblical scholar! I only knew what I had recently learned about Jesus from Adrian reading to me from the new testament. I still didn’t fully understand the whole “Savior” deal and why that was so important. I’ll never forget this 10
part. (It’s really embarrassing to me now, but it’s important to my testimony to prove to you that I was truly lost at this time in my life!) Bro Paul asks “Chavus, why do you think you deserve to go to Heaven and have eternal life?” Spoiler alert, the correct answer should’ve been “I DON’T DESERVE IT!” … My honest, boneheaded answer at that time was… ”Well, Bro Paul, I’m a good man.” Bro Paul is shaking his head in agreement as I continued with my animated hand gestures and all. “If you took right here, and stacked up all the good I’ve done in my life, and you stacked right here, all of the bad things I’ve ever done, (My hand gestures showing him a much bigger stack of good than the stack of bad!) then you would see, that I’ve done much more good in my life than the bad. Therefore, I think I deserve to go to Heaven.” I thought it was a “drop the mic” moment for me! I waited for his response. I felt like I had nailed it! Bro Paul, still shaking his head in agreement as he says “Yeah, that’s great, but that won’t get you into Heaven Chavus.”... Huh??? The moments that followed, were the first time anyone had ever penetrated this hard skull of mine. Bro Paul shared the gospel with me that evening, and explained why only through Jesus, can we enter Heaven! It finally all made sense to me! The path is wide, but the gate is narrow! I get it! I finally understood everything! The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit, were all the same person! I understood it all! Bro Paul prayed with me that night as he witnessed/ helped me officially accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior! I was a new man! I didn’t look different, I didn’t act different, but from that moment on, I felt different! I began to talk/pray to God more often. Life was great! I had gone from not praying for months or even years at a time, to now I would pray every few weeks or so. I know, that’s still weak, but it was certainly an improvement. I looked back at the tragedy that unfolded in our parking lot and I realized that as horrible as it was when it happened…there was some good that came out of it! My wife and I were brought to Christ and 11
saved because of DeAnna Tucker! What a Blessing indeed! I did thank God for that! It is true, that a precious life was lost on March 29, 2011, BUT a whole family was saved because of this tragedy! As I’ve admitted previously, I’m stubborn, so God has needed to give me a little extra sign when He is working on me. In this case, He revealed to me that DeAnna Tucker shared a birthdate with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! That’s right, if that won’t just slap you in the face, nothing will! So, my savior (DeAnna), the person who had led me to my Savior, shared a Christmas Birthday with Him! I still celebrate both of their lives on December 25. DeAnna and her family are consistently in my prayers to this day. As the months flew by, Adrian and I still had normal stress in our life/relationship just like anyone else. We had family issues, business issues, financial issues, kid issues, you name it! One thing that we were trying to do is buy/build a new/bigger home. This had been going on for more than a year. We were both desperately wanting to move and seemed like we kept hitting roadblock after roadblock. After we were both saved, we both decided to pray for what we wanted. Y’all, I don’t remember the exact time frame but I’m pretty sure it was one of the fastest prayers that God had ever answered for me! We found the perfect piece of land, (5 acres) in the perfect location, for the perfect price, already cleared, with power on site, ready to build our dream home! A true miracle! I’m going to warn you now, NOTHING can test a solid relationship better than self-contracting your dream home with your spouse! Y’all…I didn’t think we would see the end of construction together! Out of everything we have done in our lives together this was the first time that I consistently prayed all the way through. I would come up on our hill alone and just talk to God! I stood on the very spot where our house is now built and just cried out to God many days! “Why did You lead me this far just to fail!” Remember, I was still a baby christian at the time, so I was struggling with 12
giving God all my trust! I still thought I was steering this life somewhat! We had a very tight budget and everything we WANTED was twice as much as we could afford. It was certainly stressful, as we had to hire and fire people daily! We robbed Peter to pay Paul throughout the entire construction and it’s a wonder we didn’t bankrupt our business as well! I did as much work as I could on our home in the tight time frame we were working with. I believe we broke ground in January 2012, and we were finishing up construction in early August. Not bad for a couple of rookies! We got everything we wanted in our new home and it was very rewarding to see it complete! If you’ve built a home, then you know the one thing you NEED to have at the end to get your power turned on is the certificate of occupancy. As I said earlier, God always needed to leave me a sign, so I would recognize it was His will! Throughout the construction I had been deep in my bible. I was still fascinated by the new testament, and I especially loved the pages that had the words written in red! That was Jesus speaking! The day we received our “certificate of occupancy” I opened it and as I looked it over, I burst into tears! I couldn’t hold back the emotions that I felt at that moment! I was sobbing like a baby! Not because we finally got the certificate…It was much more!!!...You see, at the bottom of the certificate, it was date stamped, IN RED, with what looked like an old type writer font, the Date was August 16, 2012!!!…Yes, I said it was IN RED!!! Remember that date I talked about earlier, this was exactly a year later from the date I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior! It was right then that I vowed, from that moment on, I would NEVER put God back on the shelf. I began praying daily! Mostly just thanking God for all the blessings in my life that I certainly don’t deserve! I have continued with my daily prayers ever since. Now don’t let me confuse you here…my new “religious” self, still looks a lot like my old self! Remember what I said 13
about those religious “hypocrites” earlier? I know why I used to think that way about them now. Life is still tough at times. Life is still stressful at times. MOST of the time, when I ask God for something specific, He doesn’t deliver what I want when I want! That’s because He has a plan for Chavus Holland, and the plan that God has for me is not the same as my plan…His plan, His timing, and His grace are perfect!!! You see, my life now, even with all the good that God has blessed me with, still looks like a total mess somedays to those closest to me! God is a forgiving, loving, God! So, I’m still the same old imperfect sinner that I’ve always been, but God and I have an active relationship these days! Good or bad days, I know who is in control and I respect that! I’m going to close this off for now with something for everyone to think about…believer or not, you cannot deny this truth! (some of the following pieces may have been borrowed or referenced from Phil Robertson) What day is it? Well as I’m typing this, it is currently, December 31, 2018. It doesn’t matter whether you are a believer in Jesus or not, we all use the same date. Right? Atheist, Christians, Big Bang theory believers…We all use the same calendars to track our days, months, and years. If we go backwards, a year ago, it was New Year’s Eve 2017, the year before that it was 2016 and so on and so on… If we back tracked all the way back to over 2000 years ago, to early A.D., when we began documenting the current calendar, what would we find? I think we could all agree, that for all the people and cultures in the entire world to be keeping time by this same event, then it certainly must have been something amazing happening, and it must have been HUGE! Do you know what happened? Spoiler ALERT…It was something HUGE!!! And amazing....It was the birth of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, in the flesh! So, we are currently at the end of year 2018 A.D. A.D. stands for Anno Domini, which translates to English as “The year of our Lord Jesus Christ”. That’s right, He was here, He traveled around spreading the gospel and healing the 14
sick. It’s all well documented in the bible. He was crucified for our sins, (not His, because He was perfect and sinless!) and 3 days later He rose from the grave and by that, He guaranteed us that He was the Great Messiah and the Ultimate Savior! Ask Him into your heart today! What do you have to lose? Thank you for reading! God Bless!!!
Chavus Holland
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