Sauce - Issue 86, 21-1-09

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. ISSUE 86 . JAN 21 - FEB 03 2009 . TASMANIA’S STREET PRESS

Australia Day Long Weekend Australia Day Eve Sunday January 25th Top bands The Frets, The Overview, Hannah.

Australia Day Monday January 26th In true Aussie tradition, spend Australia Day enjoying a tasty BBQ and Triple J’s Hottest 100 Countdown.

Live music from Sam Bester, Josh Durno.

Weekends at Irish Murphy’s Hobart

The best bands. Your favourite tunes.

Every Friday and Saturday night on the waterfront.

Sunday through Thursday, growing new music and nurturing good times JANUARY WEDNESDAY 21ST PAINT YOUR GOLDEN FACE & MYSTERIOUS FRIENDS THURSDAY 22ND CHILL FACTOR 3, BEN WELLS BAND SUNDAY 25TH AUSTRALIA DAY EVE

Under the covers in January...

FRIDAY 23RD MICHAEL CLENNETT, THE SMASHERS SATURDAY 24TH NICK & TOM WOLFE, DAMAGE CONTROL FRIDAY 30TH KATIE & ADO, DR FINK SATURDAY 31ST SAMBO, ENTROPY

MONDAY 26TH AUSTRALIA DAY TUESDAY 27TH ANDY WEAR, PAT BERECHREE WEDNESDAY 28TH AL CAMPBELL, MDUSU & DAMEZA, DALI AND THE PAPER BAND THURSDAY 29TH MARTIN O’BRIEN, THE TRUMPS FEBRUARY SUNDAY 1ST THUS FAR...

MONDAY 2ND PRAIRIE NISCHLER, JASON ALLEN TUESDAY 3RD AUSTRALIAN SONGWRITERS ASSOCIATION

HOBART | 21 Salamanca Place

6223 1119 | www.irishmurphys.com.au

OFF THE SHELF

In a few short months a new energy has descended on Launceston. A refreshing cultural vibe that is resounding beyond our shores. A vibrancy that cannot be denied. Now I know that all sounds a bit wanky so I’ll put it to you this way, Wednesdays at Irish Murphy’s are awesome fun! Andrew Winton asked me if he would be lucky to play to “ten people and a dog” and I responded that he might be pleasantly surprised. He was. Well done Launceston, keep coming out and enjoying what we have to offer.

“…I don’t agree with the policy but I support the people that are there...”

DANCE - USA // Z-TRIP

The World From A to Z

Z-Trip is having a big day out in Auckland, which is coincidental, because he’s there for the Big Day Out! oDJ “It kind of reminds me a bit of the vibe of a proper sort of island,” he says, “you’ve got the equivalent of a sort of Hawaii. Really laid back, really neutral people. Any island that has a decent population but is not like a huge continent with a lot of resources that people want to get at, they tend to have much more of a neutral status and I like being in places like that, because everyone’s really chill. I get the same impression with Australia as I do with New Zealand, just kind of the same vibe. Really cool people, really chill, laid back, good music scene, good food, good weather.”

But he’s also played in places decidedly less than laid back, such as the Middle East. “Kuwait was a place I felt a sense of danger,” he explains, “we were close to the border of Iraq where we’re at war. My political stance is that I don’t agree with the war at all, but we were just there to support the people, the troops, the Americans that were actually doing the work over there. So for me it was also a little bit about being in the wolf’s den. I don’t agree with the policy but I support the people that are there, and at least some of them support the policy so it’s a little bit of a tense situation. Still it wasn’t really about me and my views, it was about trying to make those people a little bit more comfortable. Because most of those people were going to be shipped off the next day to go and fight, and could die possibly. So I was just trying to do my part about trying to take their head off of that, if that’s even possible.”

It must be quite moving, knowing that maybe his music is the last music that someone in that audience may have ever heard. “Well the whole thing is a bit crazy. I didn’t really know how to process it, it took about two weeks after I got home to realise what just happened and realise the amount of… I mean it was an honour to do it, but it was also a little freaky and uncomfortable to do it. But none the less it was definitely worth my time.”

Z-Trip is considered by many to be the founder of the mash-up movement, (where the vocal track of a song

is overlaid seamlessly into another song) but he isn’t really sure “if there was really a real movement, maybe there was after I did some of the stuff that opened people’s eyes to it, but it was really a style of mixing that’d been going on for a long time. I think it just sort of fell in to the people. When I did my mix with DJ P, when we did Uneasy Listening, that particular CD and that mix particularly cracked opened all the doors and knocked down the walls for it. For me it’s kinda cool just to have brought that style of mix to the head, to the forefront, because it opens up a lot of people’s eyes to all kinds of music being brought in and put in to someone’s repertoire and someone’s mix and that was really what it was about.”

“At the time, say if you were a hip-hop DJ, you were just playing like rap music, if you were a drum and bass guy you were just playing drum and bass, if you were a house DJ you were just doing house. To me all that music is good music and could be good music. So if you take old and new and whatever was good and whatever fit that was what it was about, so for me to be labelled as the founding father or the king of that or whatever, I guess it’s kinda cool, but to me the real kings of that are the Jazzy Js or the Grand Master Flash’s of the world because those guys were the ones that were doing it before me, I’m just carrying the torch. I’d like to think anyway, I’m honoured though, but it’s also about not being labelled as just that, I do other things on top of that. I just keep moving, just keep it moving.”

So where’s he moving next in his musical journey?

“I bumped into this band, The Dub Trio, and it’s three guys, who are from Brooklyn, and they play instrumental metal riffs and then they progress in to traditional dub sounds, it’s really, really heavy, it’s really dope. But those guys, I heard their stuff and I thought ‘we need to get together’ and I actually sat in with them a couple of times with Mike Patton with the Peeping Tom project. I ended up being the DJ for those shows and they were his back-up band, they’re some amazing musicians. I’ve really been wanting to get involved with some more live instrumentation, rather than being one guy in a room with a sampler and a couple of MCs, I wanted to create something, produce something. So we’ve met a couple times and I’m working on their new record as well as me doing my own solo record. I’m doing some new mixes, I’ve just done a new Obama mix, I did one before the election, I did one after the election, so I just finished not even three or four days ago and that’s up on my website and people can download it, it’s called the Victory Lap and it’s about him winning and us celebrating.” sCHRIS RATTRAY

The new year kicked off on Wednesday January 7 with The Emma Fair Band and Andrew Winton and what a way to kick off it was. Andrew Winton lived up to everything we promised delivering an up tempo set that had the room jumping and crying out for more.

Andrew’s awesome talent was highlighted during a remarkable vocal scat solo that had jaws scraping the floor. His cover of Cliff Richard’s Devil Woman was thumping. We will endeavour to get Andrew back when he tours next this way.

Wednesday January 14 saw Mayfield take to the Top Shelf stage supported by Sara Jane. We (Mayfield) apologise for the late start but you can blame Diesel for that. The night also hosted the annual muso’s jam where musicians from the Newstead College Rock Summer School take to the stage and improvise the night away. This year saw Rex Goh (Australian Idol band) and James Cupples (mind-blowing singer, think Chris Cornell meets Aretha Franklin meets Robert Plant!) along with James Le Fevre (sax), Matt (space flute) and Gavin Clark (trombone) fire up the stage.

Also Steven Quinn (Stoics), Randall Stafford (The Dead Abigails), Heidi (Mayfield, Two Timers) and Stu Van (Embers) made an appearance. The night culminating with Herbie Hancock’s Chameleon. Cool!

Tonight, Wednesday January 21, we are presenting The Stoics with Frankie opening the evening. Now we had planned to bring you Van Diemen but unless you caught them last time at Irish you won’t be able to see them again! That’s right, Van Diemen are no longer. The decision came about a week ago and was quite a shock to us, however we wish them all the best of luck in future adventures and thank them for those damn catchy tunes. We are very excited to have The Stoics playing as we are always in for a treat when Ciaran and co enter the building. Last time they played (acoustically) was one of the best shows of last year, I’m sure they wont disappoint and will deliver another highlight to the Top Shelf reel. Frankie is a fine singer songwriter from Launceston whose intelligent lyrical take on life belies her youthful charm. Don’t miss this evening of fine music.

My Escapade, an indie four piece rock band from Burnie, play Wednesday January 28. We have been trying to get these guys for a while so we’re terribly pleased to finally announce them and can’t wait to hear their set. sCARL FIDLER & GLENN MOOREHOUSE

Continue the celebration!

0 25 January @ The Republic Bar Go to www.myspace.com/djztrip to download original songs for free!

0 Grab the best off the Top Shelf! Every Wednesday night @ Irish Murphy’s, Launceston

EVERYTHING YOU NEED IS RIGHT HERE. rj9077_03

Whatever you aspire to be, whatever you aspire to do, wherever you aspire to go, if you have the will, we have the way. Study one of over 100 undergraduate courses on offer. Study in world-class facilities, while being taught by academics who are leaders in their fields. No matter where you want to go or who you want to become, UTAS is your way forward.

www.utas.edu.au 1300 363 864

WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

. ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 -FEBRUARY 03 2009

3

EDSPACE EDSPACE

#86- January 21 to February 03

Contents: 3

Z-Trip / Off The Shelf

4

Contents / News

5

The Berzerker

6

The No No’s / Ben Wells

6

Funkoars / El Guincho

8

Dr Willis / British Battlegrounds

9

Entertainment Guide

12

Mayfield / Foreign Films

14

Hot Mods

15

Gig Reviews

16

Zzapped / Cinecism

17

Roflmao / Arts

18

Street Fashion / CD Reviews

Sauce Team: Phone: 03 6331 0701 General Manager - Advertising:

David Williams Email: david@sauce.net.au Editor: Chris Rattray Email: chris@sauce.net.au Art Director: Simon Hancock Email: simon@sauce.net.au

Space. It’s constantly expanding, so the boffins tell us. Well, they never had to put together a magazine, did they? Nope, there’s only so many pages and so much to go into those pages. And see how much space I’ve got to talk about how much space we haven’t got? Not bloody much!

It reminds me of that dead baby joke, to do with blenders and buckets, but there’s no such luxury here. We have neither a proliferation of offspring, nor buckets in which to pour them. Or Doritos with which to fish them out. Just ink and paper. And the contributions of you lovely people out there who fill these pages with your words and pikchurz. We love them so.

This issue is packed more densely than your Mum’s colostomy bag, so dive on in and give it a read. Or simply set it down and watch it attract small rodents, dirty socks, and anything else not sufficiently tied down get sucked into its vortex.

For those of you who’ve finally made it back from Falls, welcome home! sCHRIS RATTRAY chris@sauce.net.au

SAUCE STICKER WINNER

Editorial Assistants: Belle McQuattie & Meegan May Opinions expressed in Sauce are not necessarily those of the Editor or staff. Sauce Publishing accepts no liability for the accuracy of advertisements.

Contributors: Carl Fidler, Dave Venter, David Dowling, David Quinn, Glenn Moorehouse, Tiarne Double, Ninna Millikin, Mick Lowenstein, Clara Murray, Kate Gordon.

Next Edition: Sauce #87 - 04/02/09 to 17/02/09 Ad Artwork Deadline 30/01/09 @ 3pm

IS THIS YOUR REGO? YOU WIN! If this is your car, email a pic of yourself in front of your rego to competitions@sauce.net.au, with STICKER WINNER in the subject line by Friday 30th of January @ 5pm to win some CDs! If you don’t get to us in time, the prize will JACKPOT, so next edition there will be ten CDs to be won. And so on …

Get a SAUCE sticker (email chris@sauce.net.au with your postal address and CAR STICKER in the subject line if you want one!) and whack it on your vehicle! Check each edition of SAUCE to see if you’ve won. It’s that easy!

NEWS CARL COX AT SYRUP Carl Cox, the “Godfather of Techno”, will be performing at Syrup on 14 February! He will be supported by Kir, Gillie and Corney, with a special guest appearance from DJ Goodwill. Tickets for this event are seriously limited... Don’t miss this very, very rare opportunity to see Carl Cox LIVE at Syrup!

0 Tickets are on sale online via www.syrupclub.com, and from Ruffcut Records @ $45+bf.

BLEEDING THROUGH AT BRISBANE Bleeding Through helps usher in the “future of metal” on the Tasmanian stop of their Aussie tour. With supports Between the Buried and Me and On Your Feet Soldier, this promises to be one to take your gran to. As long as she’s deaf already, probably.

0 21 January @ The Brisbane Hotel, Hobart WILD MARMALADE AT REPUBLIC Celebrate Australia Day with “100% live drum and didge” in Hobart as Wild Marmalade drop by for a jam!

Tickets available @ the door or from www.republicbar. com! Show starts at 8:30pm.

0 26 January @ The Republic Bar MIKE NOGA AND THE GENTLEMEN OF FORTUNE After finding a collective gap in the calendars of The Drones, Dallas Crane, The Gin Club, The Vandas and The Ladyboyz, Mike Noga and the Gents are proud to announce they will be flogging their wares for your personal pleasure around the country in February. It has become somewhat of a rare occasion to catch a glimpse of these marvellous creatures in their natural enviroment, so don’t miss this chance to have a squizz up close and if you’re lucky you might even get to pat one.

0 20 February @ The Republic Bar TWO FRESH AT HALO Do you crave a rave? Brothers, Kid Kenobi and Hugga Thugg bring their sibling project, Two Fresh to Hobart in January! Get along to see why these guys have crowds raving all over the country!

0 23 January @ Halo, Hobart AGENCY DUB COLLECTIVE Melbourne’s live dub-reggae/dancehall band, Agency Dub Collective, get all up in yo’ face for the first time in Tassie at the end of January, in support of their new album, S.O.S. Continuing the legacy laid down by artists such as Bob Marley and Rage Against the Machine, expect plenty of revolutionary, politically conscious, beats and choonz.

0 30 January @ The Alley Cat Bar, Hobart

ASA and The Greenhouse present Wax Lyrical at Irish Murphy’s

Tuesday 3rd February Arial

www.myspace.com/oilisblackgoldthemuzo

Martin O'Brian Lance Devlan George Begbie www.myspace.com/georgebegbie www.georgebegbie.com

9pm - 11pm FREE ENTRY

@ THE GREENHOUSE

Irish Murphy’s

21 Salamanca Place, Hobart Ph: 6223 1119

WISH FOR WINGS IN THE AFTERLIFE

FAT LIP DIARY 16 JAN We peek inside Dave Venter’s most intimate thoughts... well, not really.

IN THE BOATSHED

Bocamano – Launceston Style: Latin / Afro-beat Bocamano is a seven piece band from Launceston.

The heart of the band’s sound is based on Latin percussion instruments, then spiced up with bass, trumpet, accordion, and sax. Being a seven piece band, it can really be a challenge for the band to write and practice all together. So Eduar (the lead percussionist) came and recorded some tasty rhythms for the band’s new songs.

The purpose behind this was to make some guide tracks for the musicians to improvise to at home.

“This is gonna make a huge difference,” said Eduar. “At practice I have so many ideas that I want to show the band guys, but we always run out of time. This way we can all listen to the new songs on iPod or CD before we practice together.”

Bocamano have a few live recordings on their MySpace... www.myspace.com/bocamano Midnight Ablaze – Devonport Style: Full Blown Metal Midnight Ablaze are a five piece band from Devonport. The band were very excited to record at FatLip after hearing the work on the Darkest Winter recordings.

These guys love their 80s metal! I’m sure Iron Maiden has played a strong influence in their song writing. These guys were great to work with.

Have a listen at... www.myspace.com/midnightablaze sDAVE VENTER

4

. ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 03 2009

Friday, 30 January

392 - 394 Elizabeth St. North Hobart Ph: 03 6234 5975

British Battlegrounds, Samuel Cole and others in the boatshed $5 9pm IN THE PUBLIC BAR

Wednesday, 21 January

COLLECTOR’S CORNER

CDs & DVDs New + Second Hand 37 Wilson St Burnie 03 6431 6616

Queenslanders, Wish For Wings, bring their “frenetic and devastating” live show to Tassie in January, as part of their 60+ national tour in support of their brand new, full-length release, Afterlife. Afterlife sees Wish For Wings doing what they do best; playing hard and fast with plenty of mosh. The album also sees the band taking on an even larger and more dynamic approach by incorporating melodic elements, epic choruses and loads of sing-a-longs to make sure that their music stands out in this life and the next.

0 24 January @ The Brisbane Hotel, Hobart RESIN DOG’S NEW ALBUM LET OUT Resin Dogs are back with a brand new album - More or Less! Released on 17 January, the album is a collection of tracks from Resin Dogs 2007 album More plus a few news tracks that have been re-arranged by some of Australia’s best DJs and producers such as Plutonic Lab, Chasm and Two Fresh.

Luke Parry 9pm Thursday, 22 January @ 9pm

Josh Shephard & Friends Friday, 23 January @ 9pm

Andy & Julz Saturday, 24 January @9pm

Sara & Hamish 9pm Wednesday, 28 January @ 8.30pm

Open mic night $10 jugs Boags

OZJAM CONNECTS AUSTRALIAN MUSICIANS Ozjam.com.au is aimed at connecting Australian musicians no matter what instrument or genre of music they play, enabling them to work together as a community, so if you’re looking for a band member you can find one.

Thursday, 29 January @9pm

If you are looking to join a band - you can join one. If you are looking to form a band - you can form one. If you are looking for exposure - you can get some... all in the one place.

S&M in the bar

0 Check it out: www.ozjam.com.au

Van Diemen 2pce Unplugged Saturday, 31 January @9pm

GREAT FOOD

OPEN MIC NIGHT

THE LAST WEDNESDAY

OF EVERY MONTH

OPEN 7 DAYS

14 Brisbane Street, Launceston 6331 5346 WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

METAL - AUSTRALIA // THE BERZERKER

Tassie Tour a First for Infernally Fast Players

“…We probably will do some theatrics with the ladies and the blood...”

did four albums with them over the last nine years,” says Luke, o“We the Berzerker himself, on his band’s recent decision to leave the

Earache label and strike out on their own, “and, like everything after you’ve been in a relationship for a while, things become not as good as they originally were, shall we say. There was that little press done for the last album Animosity that I kind of thought well if I do it, I couldn’t do a worse job. Yeah, I just walked. We fulfilled our contract, I mean there was another album we could’ve done with them and they did offer us the opportunity to do that but we declined and did it ourselves. And that’s where we’re at, The Reawakening, a brand new album.”

So did the title of the album come before or after the ‘break-up’? “Oh, it was after. It was a very refreshing way to approach an album, with full control. It was a bit of a reawakening, a revitalisation of the passion to do music again.” And having control helped them snag those four lovely ladies for the Internal Examination film clip? “Yeah, I guess that’s one of the perks,” laughs Luke. “It also means that we can have things like have a digipack and pull out posters, the kind of things Earache never let us do, because they were always looking at their bottom line. At the end of the day, kids are only buying CDs if it’s worthwhile. A lot of people are downloading music at the moment, so I think it’s really important to have good packaging and stuff, so that’s something that we’ve allowed ourselves to do.”

But, who are the girls! “Local Melbourne girls, supporting their own scene,” he laughs. “A few of them I’ve known for years since they were like fifteen years old coming out to see us at underage shows, that was great, and now of course they’ve matured in to women.” And women that are in demand. They’ve also been featured on the cover of an Airbourne album. Is he jealous much? “Yeah they’ve had a cover and some other things. The clip was actually supposed to be a lot more elaborate but we ran out of time and money, but that’s all right, I’ll do a director’s cut when I get around to it. It was supposed to be a little more graphic.

But I’m currently up in Queensland at the moment rehearsing for the tour we’ve got coming up.”

So what can we expect from the tour? Any on stage

theatrics akin to some of the things we see in their video clips? Or is the music enough? “Well the music’s never enough, really,” Luke counters. “We probably will do some theatrics with the ladies and the blood in Melbourne, but we can’t afford to fly them around everywhere. But a couple exciting things we’ve got for Hobart is we’ve got Tim Aldridge from Abramelin trying out for guitar actually. We’re just in the process of trying out new guitarists, so that’s going to be his first show down there. So we’re really looking forward to that, because I’ve known Tim for a long, long time, and obviously we’ve played quite a few shows with Abramelin over the years.”

“If you’re not familiar with Abramelin, they were the biggest band in Australia for ten years. They still hold the record for the most amount of death metal sales, they did all the national supports for Sepultura, Napalm Carcass, so on. +ballpoint/ A lot of people I ztrip frid[Death], 23 Guns forand glory talk to get very excited about that. I think they outsold sund 25/ two 26toaust daysowild marmalade Damage by about one. Yeah, it’s good, very good… we’ve never really had the option to go across 31 dirt river radio to Tassie. I mean we’ve got four albums now and we’ve never played one show there. There’ll be lots of fresh faces and we’ll be able to show the people what we do, which is play extremely fast.” sCHRIS RATTRAY Reawaken your inner berzerker!

0 23 January @ The Brisbane Hotel, Hobart.

The Reawakening is out now.

REPUBLIC BAR & CAFE

Tix Available Online www.republicbar.com

299 Elizabeth St North Hobart Ph. 6234 6954

FRIDAY JANUARY 23

SUNDAY JANUARY 25

GUNS FOR GLORY

Z-TRIP (USA)

100% LIVE Drum ‘n DiDGE

+ BALLPOINT

9.30PM

9PM

$5

$30 / $35

Wednesday, 21 JANUARY

Van + Cal + Dan + Al

9pm

Thursday, 22 JANUARY

4 Letter Fish

9pm

Friday, 23 JANUARY

Guns For Glory (Syd) + Ballpoint

Saturday, 24 JANUARY

Simon Russel & Guilty As Charged

Sunday, 25 JANUARY

Z-Trip (USA)

WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

$30 pre/$35 door

$10

$3

MONDAY JANUARY 26

WILD MARMALADE DIRT RIVER RADIO

Monday, 26 JANUARY

9:30pm

$12 10PM

$5

Wild Marmalade 100% Drum & Didge (Byron Bay) + Kobya Reggae Band

$12

9pm

Tuesday, 27 JANUARY

The Sign

9pm

Wednesday, 28 JANUARY

Blood Spots + Red Rival

9pm

Thursday, 29 JANUARY

The No No’s

$2

9pm

Friday, 30 JANUARY

Sugatrain

$4

10pm

Saturday, 31 JANUARY

Dirt River Radio (Melb)

$5

10pm

10pm

10pm

SATURDAY JANUARY 31

. ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 -FEBRUARY 03 2009

5

SPOTLIGHT ON... THE NO NO’S With Eddo, Duncan, and Rohan “Just over three years ago the band came together after being kidnapped,” says Duncan No No, protesting too much, methinks. “We were locked in a basement for two weeks with no light, food or water and left with some old crappy equipment to play whilst fighting rats for survival. After escaping from our forced incarceration we felt the strong need to share our experiences with the world, and live life to the fullest and have a good time!”

Eddo - Cemetery Blues cause it’s got a great bass line and a good swing – it’s a moody vibe and a good break from flat out rock’n’roll.

Rohan - Primitive Nature (The Beast Within) – due to the bass driven atmosphere it creates, the layering of levels within it, and the lyrics are shit hot!

Duncan - Monster is fun, as it’s a fast one to play and a real punch in the face short and sweet song. But I’ve got so many favourites it’s really hard to just pin one down...

What is the most challenging thing about being in this band?

Eddo - The hardest thing is not playing too much in a small city – as we just love to play! Recording is also challenging as we like to rock pubs, and it’s a bit tedious.

Rohan - I’d agree that trying to record is difficult, seeing as we’ve got so much material to choose from it’s a matter of selecting what’s right and getting it down in between other work commitments.

Duncan - Yeah, our band has been strongly founded on a live sound, so it can be hard to capture the energy of live music in a studio, so obviously getting the sound right can be a bit tricky, whilst working other jobs to support our habit.

What are some of the things (as in other literature, music, art, culture) that influence the band’s output?

Eddo - White trash Americana, booze and bad women, scary movies and Tarantino. Also 50s and 60s rock’n’roll, as well as Rick Miller’s guitar work and Reverend Horton Heat and The Cramps!

Rohan - We’re all creative people, so we influence each other a lot and share our personal influences, so outside influences definitely meld together. We have passionate personalities and strong ideas of what we want to do.

Duncan - Eddo’s hit the nail on the coffin. For me D.I.Y and skate culture is also an inspiration as I’ve been heavily immersed in it most of my life. Musically, for me, early punk like The Ramones and The Misfits are an influence, because that’s what I grew up playing and listening to – and the punk ethos is still something that strongly resonates with me. Keep it simple stupid!

What particular original track are you most proud of and why?

What other bands can your sound be compared to?

Eddo – Wild Turkey, The Cramps, and Intoxica Rohan - There’s a lot of bands. It’s a matter of opinion and truly in the eye of the beholder. Some have even said The Doors.

Duncan – I don’t know about The Doors, but I’d agree with Rohan as our sound is not specific, as we really draw on a lot of genres. It really does come down to the person and their experiences, and varies from song to song...

What are your goals for the band?

Duncan – Finally getting our next release out in the near future, seeing as it’s been almost two years from the release of our debut E.P Get Off Ya Heads With...

The No No’s.

THE BIGGEST IMPACT With Ben Wells of Ben Wells and the Middle Names

Rohan - Probably play more festivals, some more interstate tours, and just keep The No No’s train rolling...

Eddo – getting the drinks flowing, the hips shakin’ and the good times rocking!

Under what conditions should THE NO NO’S best be enjoyed?

Eddo – Getting’ loose in a pub!

Go go see The No No’s!

0 23 January @ The Alley Cat, Hobart 0 25 January @ The Lewisham Tavern 0 29 January @ The Republic Bar, Hobart

21 January

The Stoics Frankie 28 January THE BEST OF TASMANIA’S “I’ve been playing music since I was young,” says Ben, of his musical stirrings. “I always dug playing the guitar and loved writing songs [and] had a bit of a high school band which played gigs around Hobart. I wanted to move into a softer, more acoustic style, so that’s when I started playing on my own. After about six months I started recording the first album (Best Friends and Dead Ends) and picked up a drummer (Josh Troy) and since then I’ve played in NSW and toured Tassie. At the end of last year, Nick Probin was welcomed to the band. He plays guitar, sings backing vocals, and recently we started recording the second album, Branches!”

What album has had the biggest impact on you, both personally and as a musician, and why?

An album by Darren Hanlon called Hello Stranger had a huge impact on me. I was lucky enough to see him play when I was twelve and have him dedicate a song to me (on account of the fact Mum and Dad are good friends with his drummer, Bree Van Reyk). That album has really influenced the way I compose songs in terms of putting all the instruments together, and telling a story through my music.

Which gig has had the biggest impact on you, as a punter and that you’ve played, and why?

Falls Festival 07/08 had a huge impact on the style of music I wanted to play, listening to the likes of Angus and Julia Stone, Lior, The Beautiful Girls and Paul Kelly, all in one day, really blew my mind - particularly Paul Kelly - the way that when he plays a song, the whole crowd listens and can sing every single word.

And I suppose the biggest impact I’ve had from a gig I played would be in Port Macquarie NSW. I was up there on my own and was only expecting a small crowd only to have a hundred people turn up at the pub and I could tell they really enjoyed it - definitely one of the most encouraging gigs I’ve ever played.

What’s an example of the impact you’ve made on people through your music?

I had a really close friend’s grandfather get diagnosed with cancer. [We wrote] a song for the family. They were all invited to a gig we played to a pretty packed out pub. It went completely quiet and I don’t think i’ve ever seen so many people cry at once, it was such a moving feeling to see that my music could make such an impact.

Get ya hankies out for Ben… 0 22 January @ The Greenhouse (Irish Murphy’s Hobart) 6

. ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 03 2009

ORIGINAL MUSIC EVERY WEDNESDAY

My Escapade

There ’ s Always Something ...

Thursday 22 January TWO STRUNG Friday 23 January LONG WAY HOME Saturday 24 January THE GARY GARYS Sunday 25 January BEN CASTLES, TWO STRUNG, LONG WAY HOME Monday 26 January LUKE PARRY, GLENN MOOREHOUSE

Tuesday 27 January BEN CASTLES Thursday 29 January BRIEF ILLUSION Friday 30 January VICTOR CHARLIE CHARLIE Saturday 31 January POCKET ROCKET Sunday 1 February NATHAN WHELDON, TWO STRUNG, VCC Monday 2 February PHIL PICASSO Tuesday 3 February CARL FIDLER

... Happening At Irish Murphy’s L I V E M U S I C 7 DAY S 3 BARS / FUNCTIONS AVAILABLE / RESTAURANT WOOD FIRED PIZZAS / LOG FIRES / ROOFTOP BAR OUTSIDE

211 BRISBANE ST LAUNCESTON 6331 4440 WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

HIP HOP - ADELAIDE // FUNKOARS

Rexual Misadventures Phallus With Mirth

It’s around 1:30pm when Dan (a.k.a. Trials, a.k.a. Triggy Stardust) calls. He’s just woken up, seemingly full of vim. Inevitably, the conversation turns to hangovers. “There’ve been so many now,” he says, trying to remember his first hangover. “But I remember there was this one day; I used to live with this guy called Rex… and one night we thought it would be an incredible idea that, instead of spending our money on our weekly food budget, was to buy two cases of long necks and for dinner have bread, gravy and a little bit of seasoning on top of it. So we did that for about a week and so we drank all these cases of longnecks and after the week I remember waking up one day, which was in the middle of a massive heatwave so it was about 40 degrees, and I was just sitting in this chair freezing and shivering and I just though ‘nope, I’ve had enough’. And then we went out again that night. It was ridiculous!”

Who says it was the alcohol? There must’ve been something in the seasoning they were sprinkling on the bread. “Exactly man, the bread probably wasn’t properly defrosted and the gravy was the powdered gravy so it was probably just powder in the end, just bread and gravy powder,” he laughs.

“That’s the kind of diet we live on to keep these statuesque figures.”

And that’s why he wakes up feeling full of vim. “Vim, yes!” he laughs. But it’s not just his first hangover he’s having trouble remembering. “At recent gigs I can’t remember too much,” he explains, “it’s been festivals so the crowd was kind of separate.

At festivals they’ve got those big barriers now so there’s no chance of us interacting with the crowd these days. It really does suck cos I love those pub gigs where things do get out of hand and what not.”

The last gig that got out of hand “was at this place called Black Cat, White Cat in Adelaide, which is above a gay bar. And we thought ‘ok cool we’ll do a show here’ and what not. And a couple of the patrons from the club downstairs made their way into our show and jumped up on stage with us for the last track and basically started dirty dancing and it was pretty intense. And we just were trying to finish the song and get out of there.” It was probably the pole dancing that made them want to get out of there so quickly. “Pun intended!” he

laughs. And perhaps this explains the origins of the song The Phallic Menace, from their new album, The Hangover. “Yeah, that’s just a really stupid story that stemmed from the guy Rex that I used to live with,” Dan explains. “For some reason he was trying to pick up these girls in Port Lincoln of all places, we did a show there and he tagged along. So my mate Rex thought it’d be an awesome idea to ask girls if they were scared of the dick. That was his pick up line. ‘Oh how are you doing tonight, are you scared of the dick?’

And that was just this infamous comment amongst our friends for years and we were listening to this album by our friend… and in the middle of this track he just starts kicking his drum and he’s like scared of the dick as if the shit’s haunted. And we just lost it,” he laughs.

“And we thought, that’s it, we’ve got to do a track!”

Did it ever work as a pick up line? “Well actually, he ended up in the back of the panel van with four or five girls and then he came back later on and he was real sketchy about the details like numbers of girls and their ages.” But what makes Dan’s phallus so menacing? “Oh mine’s friendly. All three of us man, we’re all friendly, there’s nothing too dangerous about us, we’re inviting.” Are we talking comparing each other at the urinal? “We’ve kept a height chart since we were young men,” he reveals, alluding to who can pee the highest. “Hons is really holding it down for the whole group. He’s done a lot of the damage around the country to various places and people. He’s kind of world renowned for being the one in the group who’s

sort of the bee’s knees,” he laughs. “Of the phallic symbols.”

It’s at around this point that I get a sense as to why Funkoars has been described as being neither deep nor meaningful. Dan roars with laughter. “Pretty much man. I mean if you wanted to make it deep and meaningful and very abstract you really could.

We just don’t go trying to be abstract for the sake of it, we just say it how it is and if there’s a little couple fun little punchlines hidden in the mix of it, it’s great.”

y e l l A Cat The Alley Cat Bar 381 Elizabeth Street North Hobart 03 6231 2299

A co-worker describes Funkoars as ‘bogan hip hop.’

It’s an assessment that works for Dan. “I guess it’s fair enough, man,” he laughs again. “We come from really poor areas of Adelaide, we can’t exactly afford to be Kanye West or anything. We’re putting out the feelers for anyone, if you wanna buy us clothes, let us make them look rad… but until then you’ll just have to live with us in Target tees.” It’s a range that offers a wide variety. “Absolutely, absolutely,” Dan agrees. “They’ve got those Bond’s hoodies in there, I get them all the time. They’re sick. And like three packs of socks, they’re sick. Target’s the joint!” he laughs. sCHRIS RATTRAY Get funked up!

0 6 February @ The Republic Bar Next issue: Funkoars free verse association!

Saturday 31st of January

POP - SPAIN // EL GUINCHO

Sounds of Youth Create Tunes of Today Canary Islander, El Guincho discovered the music of his youth while living abroad. “My father was really into Latin American music, which I later got really excited with, and also Spanish pop,” he explains, down the line from his adopted home in Spain, “and my mum was more into English music and that sort of stuff. But the first year I moved to Barcelona, when I went back at Christmas, I found this record… and I played it and it sounded like what I thought exotica was. It was made with sounds from the Canary Islands that I knew, like some of the songs that we sang at school and that sort of stuff. So I was really impressed.”

o

Or perhaps there was a tinge of homesickness, an assertion he is quick to refute. “I wasn’t homesick,” he clarifies, “it was more like when you wake up after a dream, you remember some of the things but not the whole thing. I could remember the feeling, the first time that I played it made me feel really good, but not in a nostalgic way, just like when you play a song and it feels good, and you kind of feel familiar with it, even though you don’t know the lyrics or the melody.” Or in the way a scent can remind you of an old girlfriend.

“Yeah!” he laughs.

Environment plays a role in the music he creates, but lately, “it’s superficial in a certain way, because I’ve been travelling a lot. If you travel for a stretch, like two weeks or a month I’m sure you can learn a lot about a place like the way it smells or the sounds, not the music but the sounds of the street. When you’re touring you’re just on the road, you go to the venue to do sound check, you do interviews, you go to the hotel, so you never actually get to be influenced by it. You get influenced by the experience of going on tour, that’s why I’ve seen a lot of rock bands play shitty second albums, because they did a great first album then went on the road for a year and they just lived stories from the road, that’s why often the second album is sometimes not that interesting. So I kind of don’t want my music to be influenced by the fact of being on the road all the time.”

So how does he get to know a place? Having friends helps. “The way that I like to know a place is, like for example, I went to Australia once [and] I was with the Architecture in Helsinki guys from Melbourne and some of them from Sydney, so they took me to the real WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

spots, to the real places that people go normally. And that’s how I think you get an idea of the whole city… just enjoying the city as a normal city or whatever.

They took me to the river in Melbourne and to a place in Brunswick Street that they really liked and hang out, with great scrambled eggs and that sort of stuff, so it was really great… what amazes me in Australia, you have every good thing from every place. And also I went to Newcastle too, which was a proper Australian experience I think.”

You’d want to think so. So what about home? How does this former Canary Islander feel about his birthplace?

“It’s interesting because I’m still finding out what the Canary Islands means to me. I still don’t know because every time I go back I have mixed feelings. It is where my family is. As a kid I used to hang out with my family, now when I go back I just hang out with my mum or see my grandma. Also it’s hard because with the friends that I have there, they just have like a normal life I guess, what you do on the island – get a girlfriend, get a job, a nice house, so what I do is very exotic to them.

So it’s hard to have a normal relationship with your friends when they see what you do to make a living as kind of crazy. So I don’t know, I find it a really, really relaxing place where I can write music, being away from every influence. I don’t even have internet in my house either so the isolation is really good to write music. I’ve been thinking a lot about it but I actually see Barcelona as my home now,” he continues. “So it’s kind of like cool to have different starts in your life.” sCHRIS RATTRAY Get a different start with El Guincho...

0 4 February @ The Brisbane Hotel

“…I’m still finding out what the Canary Islands means to me...”

The Barons of Tang + Agency Dub Collective (instumental)

UPCOMING SHOWS: Thursday 22nd of January The Truth -The Cecil Brown Show Friday 23rd of January The Jacknives, Chris Cavill and the Long Weekend and The No No's Saturday 24th of January Scott Burns and DJ Mathmatics Sunday 25th of January Tom Vincent Quartet Featuring Eamon McNelis Thursday 29th of January The Cecil Brown Show Friday 30th of January Agency Dub Collective and The Trolls Saturday 31st of January The Barons of Tang and Agency Dub Collective (instrumental) Thursday 5th of January The Truth - The Cecil Brown Show Friday 6th of Febuary The Double Shuffle and Sara Jane Saturday 7th of Febuary Broken Flight The Stedfast Shephard Andy Brazendale

WEDNESDAY NIGHT SPECIAL 6PM - 9.30PM

$10 Beaut Beer & Bonza Burger Night. Your choice of beef, chicken or vege Alley Cat Burger with a 10oz. of Cascade Draught or Pale Ale. . ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 -FEBRUARY 03 2009

7

DANCE - MELBOURNE // DR WILLIS

TURN THE DIAL TO 11

The Doctor Dances!

With Brad of British Battlegrounds

British Battleground’s Brad Harbeck (try saying that twenty times with a mouth full of tequila) should never be let loose in a laundry. Should you make this mistake, we take no responsibility should your washing machine go sailing through a window. Such is the hard-rockin’ lifestyle of this local musical personality, that every room is a hotel room, and anything not bolted down is liable for defenestration. That means “to be thrown through a window” kids.

11 years ago…

I was running around in a teenage fantasy world full of bad fashion, bad hair and a bag full of ideas. Not much has changed, except I lost the hair.

11 months ago…

I was knocking around the idea of starting a band with Mr Matthew Tyler (guitarist) and Ms Hannah Morrell (violin). Somehow it’s all come together, partly because of the excessive talent of Hannah and partly because of Tyler’s lovely chiselled jaw. I’m sure people come to see us play so they can get a glimpse of him on stage. It’s like he’s sculpted from granite.

11 weeks ago…

I’m pretty sure I would’ve been working. Being a retail minion is hard. I amused myself by telling customers we were out-of-stock of something that we had an abundant supply of. I’m a devil.

was born in Perth… and moved to Melbourne in 2005 to further my music career,” says Willis, his eyes o“Igrowing misty. “Four years later and [I’m] playing all over Australia and the world! I focused on production

and taking it to the dancefloors for all to enjoy as it’s no good couped up in a studio for countless hours without proving the production where it counts most! Like all forms of art, dance music is an expression and that’s what I try and re-create when I’m writing - a reflection of where I am at right now!”

What was the pivotal moment that made you realise being a DJ was for you?

I started getting into hip hop at a very young age and then the turntablism followed from there, and then dance music from there, so I guess it’s kinda been like the evolution of the ape to man.

What have been some of the key albums, tracks, or artists that have steered you down this path?

Some of the main artists and labels would have to be Def Jam, Hithouse, R&S, Plus 8. Albums - Run DMC’s Tougher then Leather and Beastie Boys’ Licensed to Ill were two amazing albums and set the benchmark in music that was yet to come. On the dance music, or EDM as it’s called nowdays, not too many artists albums were released back then but there was a mix tape series called Hit the Decks which definitely has stuck in my mind somewhere for a long time!

Why did they have such an impact on you, do you think?

They were really well before their time and played

such a major part in influencing what is being played in the clubs and events nowadays and for many more years to come.

want to do - PARTY!! Not be told you guys all like this style of music and your going to dance to it whether you like it or not...

How about festivals or performances you’ve been to - which ones made the greatest impression on you and why?

There have been so many good ones over the last twelve months that have all stuck in my mind for sheer size and the scale of production - Dance Valley and Defqon1 in Holland, Nature One and Love Parade in Germany and then, on the home front, Sensation White, X-Qlusive Sydney and Stereosonic Perth take the cake.

What’s the weirdest thing or request anyone’s ever asked of you in your capacity as a DJ? Can I have two bourbon and cokes, please?

How would you describe your style behind the decks?

Mixed up! I’m not the genre police! If I like a tune and am confident it’s going to work on the dancefloor I’m going to play it. I get bored of the same patterns and vibe, and I feel that goes for a lot of the clubs I play at.

At the end of the day, it’s a party and that’s what people

What New Year’s Resolution have you broken already?

Pretty much it was mainly to give up the cigarettes, but I’m still on the stinking things! Grr. How do you qualify for the title of Doctor, anyway?

Well that’s easy - my initials are D.R.!

11 days ago…

I was recovering from a rather low-key New Year’s Eve. For anyone who cares, I spent my NYE roaming around the docks in Hobart where I was introduced to my friend’s cousin; apparently he’s the “fattest Santa in Scottsdale”. I bet that’s never happened to any of you, eh?

11 hours ago…

I was organising our upcoming gigs. I’m extremely excited as we get to play with Mr Sam Cole, who is one talented, rowdy devil and also with Joni’s Plastic Sunday, amazing boys, they’re magic. There is no doubt that excessive drinking will occur. No doubt.

11 minutes ago…

Sitting down and mentally preparing myself to answer this interview in a way that would be both amusing and endearing to people in a wistful hope that they’ll feel a spiritual connection great enough for them to venture out to see us play live. We’re worth it, seriously.

11 years from now?

Wembley Stadium! Thankyou! It’s every kid’s dream to garnish a little bit of success from music, but, in case that fails, as long as I’ve got a bottle of nice scotch and a few good friends to drink it with, I’ll be happy.

I’ll still pretend to be a rock-star and throw my friend’s whitegoods out of windows, just for fun. F*ck em’.

sCHRIS RATTRAY The Doctor is in!

0 30 January @ Syrup

Share a bottle of Scotch with Brad (with Sam Cole and friends)...

0 30 January @ The Royal Oak, Launceston

124 DAVEY ST HOBART 03 6224 9494 WWW.HOTELSOHO.COM.AU

Monday

Wednesday

Sunday – Open

26TH JANUARY

Industry Night

Uni Night

FREE ENTRY

Around The clock Jug

Around the clock Jug

Open Mic from 9pm

Happy Hour 10pm – 11pm

Around the clock Parmi

Cover Bands from 10pm

$3.00 Basics from 9pm

AUSTRALIA DAY PARTY

HEINEKEN BEER MODELS $3.00 SPIRITS FROM 10PM THE LATEST BEATS WITH DJ HYPER + LOCAL DJ SUPPORTS 8

. ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 03 2009

Around the clock Jugs Around the clock parmi All from 5pm WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

ENTERTAINMENT GUIDE Wednesday, 21 January

2.00-Close

Monday, 26 January

sHobart

The Royal Oak Andy & Julz 9pm

sHobart

Brookfield Vineyard Loren The Brisbane Hotel Licensed ALL AGES: Bleeding Through + Between The Buried And Me + On Your Feet Soldier The Greenhouse @ Irish Murphy’s Paint Your Golden Face & Mysterious Friends The Metz Mid-Week Metz, Camo 8pm The Republic Bar Van + Cal + Dan + Al 9pm sLaunceston The Royal Oak Luke Parry 9pm Top Shelf @ Irish Murphy’s The Stoics w/ Frankie Hotel New York Front Bar Thursday, 22 January sHobart The Brisbane Hotel Paint Your Golden Face + The Native Cats + Andrew/Scott The Greenhouse @ Irish Murphy’s Chill Factor 3, Ben Wells Band The Republic Bar 4 Letter Fish 9pm Syrup Mesh - DJs: Adam Turner + Guests 10pm

103 Elizabeth St Hobart 03 6231 5578

The Alley Cat Bar The Truth - The Cecil Brown Show sLaunceston

"Tasmania's own"

REDLINE Coach Services

The Royal Oak Josh Shephard & Friends 9pm Irish Murphy’s TWO STRUNG Friday, 23 January sHobart

DISCOUNTED STUDENT FARES University Student Semester Special $12.50 per sector * Hobart to Launceston $55.60 (Return) * Devonport to Launceston $39.10 (Return) *Conditions Apply

Reservations/Credit Card Payments 1300 360 000

Brookfield Vineyard. 1640 Channel Highway.

Margate. 7054. Ph 6267 2880

Licensed cafe open 7 days & late for all events Wednesday, 21 January

Loren

Friday, 23 January

Elana B Roberts Friday, 30 January - $10

Disbanded

Saturday, 31 January - $25

Frankie Armstrong All have meals available. www.brookfieldvineyard.com - info@brookfieldvineyard.com WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

Syrup La Casa - DJs: Matt B, Discotouch, Timo Boogie - DJ Nick C & Stirlo 11pm Brookfield Vineyard Elana B Roberts The Brisbane Hotel ALL AGES: 3pm The Berzerker (VIC) + Separatist + Solar Thorn + Mephistopheles 18+: 9pm The Berzerker (VIC) + M.S.I. + The Ghost And The Storm Outside + NowyourefuckeD The Republic Bar Guns For Glory (Syd) + Ballpoint $10 10pm The Alley Cat Bar CHRIS CAVILL & THE LONG WEEKEND - MONDAY TRAIN SINGLE TOUR w/ The No No’s, The Jackknives 9:30pm Irish Murphy’s Michael Clennett, The Smashers Halo Two Fresh Hotel SOHO Piece of Cake (melb) 9pm sLaunceston Irish Murphy’s LONG WAY HOME The Mersh (The Commercial Hotel) Hard Drive Hotel New York Doctor J 10.00-12.00 Cam 12.00-2.00 PD

Saturday, 24 January sHobart

The Republic Bar Wild Marmalade 100% Drum & Didge (Byron Bay) + Kobya Reggae Band $12 9pm

Hotel SOHO Side Theatre 9pm sLaunceston The Hub Bar The Barons of Tang

sLaunceston

The Royal Oak British Battlegrounds, Samuel Cole and others in the boatshed $5 9pm

The Republic Bar Simon Russel & Guilty As Charged $3 10pm

Irish Murphy’s LUKE PARRY, GLENN MOOREHOUSE

The Mersh (The Commercial Hotel) DJ Skip

Recording Mixing Mastering Production

Syrup Tackyland - DJs Noughts, Rollo, Stirlo, & Billy Bob 9pm DFD w/ DJs Corney, Gillie & Adam Turner

Tuesday, 27 January

Hotel New York Cam 10.00-12.00 Doctor J 12.00-2.00 PD 2.00-Close

Bookings Essential Call Dave Venter for a quote 0408 373 066 or email fatlipstudios@gmail.com

The Brisbane Hotel ALL AGES: Wish For Wings + Bermuda + Stand Defiant 18+: Wish For Wings (QLD) + Bermuda + Stand Defiant + Resilient

The Alley Cat Bar Scott Burns and DJ Mathmatics Irish Murphy’s Nick & Tom Wolfe, Damage Control Hotel SOHO Dj Macca 10pm sLaunceston The Royal Oak Sara & Hamish 9pm Irish Murphy’s THE GARY GARYS The Mersh (The Commercial Hotel) Rob Richards Hotel New York Roger Charles 10.00-12.00 Doctor J 12.00-2.00 PD 2.00-Close sSt. Mary’s St. Mary’s Hotel CHRIS CAVILL & THE LONG WEEKEND - MONDAY TRAIN SINGLE TOUR w/ Pete Cornelius & The Devilles 4pm Sunday, 25 January sHobart The Brisbane Hotel Australia Day Eve w BALLPOINT + Your Demise + BetaMax

Hotel SOHO Australia Day Party - Mike Hyper + Local supports

sHobart The Greenhouse @ Irish Murphy’s Andy Wear, Pat Berechree sHobart The Republic Bar The Sign 9pm sLaunceston Irish Murphy’s BEN CASTLES Wednesday, 28 January sHobart The Greenhouse @ Irish Murphy’s Al Campbell, Dali & the Paper Band, Mdusu and Dameza The Metz Metz on Sundays, Beats from 4pm The Republic Bar Blood Spots + Red Rival 9pm Hotel SOHO Dj Macca 9pm

Irish Murphy’s VICTOR CHARLIE CHARLIE

Saturday, 31 January sHobart The Brisbane Hotel Cocktails & Dreams (CD LAUNCH) + Sunday Something Ruined + Most Triumphant + Chalky The Republic Bar Dirt River Radio (Melb) $5 10pm Syrup Tackyland - DJs Noughts, Rollo, Stirlo, & Billy Bob 9pm DFD w/ DJs Corney, Gillie & Adam Turner The Alley Cat Bar The Barons of Tang and Agency Dub Collective (instrumental) Brookfield Vineyard Frankie Armstrong $25 sLaunceston The Royal Oak S&M in the bar 9pm

The Mersh (The Commercial Hotel) Hard Drive

Top Shelf @ Irish Murphy’s My Escapade

Irish Murphy’s Sambo

HOBART

Hotel New York Doctor J 10.00-12.00 PD 12.00-2.00 Cam 2.00-Close

Brookfield Vineyard 1640 Channel Highway Margate 6267 2880

Thursday, 29 January sHobart

The Metz Metz on Sundays, Beats from 4pm

The Republic Bar The No No’s $2 9pm

Hotel SOHO Open Mic with John Harwood and Tom Wolfe 9pm

sLaunceston Lonnies Niteclub MS Fest Band Showcase - Cruel Like That + The Stoics + The New Saxons

Syrup Mesh - DJs: Adam Turner + Guests 10pm The Alley Cat Bar The Truth - The Cecil Brown Show The Brisbane Hotel Obi-Wan + The Trolls + Little Things sLaunceston The Royal Oak Van Diemen 2pce Unplugged in the bar 9pm Irish Murphy’s BRIEF ILLUSION

The Mersh (The Commercial Hotel) The Belchers + Phoenix Lights + Woof Woof + Luke Turnaround + Guthrie

Friday, 30 January

Irish Murphy’s BEN CASTLES, TWO STRUNG, LONG WAY HOME

The Brisbane Hotel Bumtuck, Woof Woof, The Superkunts, The Muddy Turds

Hotel New York Foreign Films 9.30-10.30 The Stoics 10.45-11.45 Mayfield 12.00-1.00 Doctor J 1.30-Close

The Republic Bar Sugatrain $4 10pm

sLewisham Lewisham Tavern CHRIS CAVILL & THE LONG WEEKEND - MONDAY TRAIN SINGLE TOUR w/ The No No’s, The Rumjacks 3pm

Monday February 2nd @ The Backspace Theatre Sackville St Hobart

The Royal Oak Open mic night $10 jugs Boags in the bar 8:30pm

Sunday, 1 February

Hotel SOHO Open Mic with John Harwood and Tom Wolfe 9pm

Next Show:

Irish Murphy’s POCKET ROCKET

The Greenhouse @ Irish Murphy’s Martin O’Brien

The Alley Cat Bar Tom Vincent Quartet featuring Eamon McNelis

The Biggest Variety Of Comedy In Tassie!

Stand up, Sketch, Physical, Musical Comedy, Burlesque, Sitcom.

sLaunceston

The Greenhouse @ Irish Murphy’s The Frets, Hannah

The Republic Bar Z Trip (USA) $30 pre/$35 door 9:30pm

Launceston Studio www.myspace.com/fatlipstudios

sHobart Brookfield Vineyard Disbanded $10

Syrup Dr. Willis supported by Shad & Corney $15 Boogie - DJ Nick C & Stirlo 11pm The Alley Cat Bar Agency Dub Collective and The Trolls Irish Murphy’s Katie & Ado, Dr Fink

sHobart

sLaunceston Irish Murphy’s NATHAN WHELDON, TWO STRUNG, Victor Charlie Charlie Monday, 2 February sHobart The Backspace Theatre The Short Back and Sideshow Hotel SOHO Dr. Fink 10pm sLaunceston Irish Murphy’s PHIL PICASSO Tuesday, 3 February sHobart The Greenhouse @ Irish Murphy’s ASA & Wax Lyrical Presents Arial + Martin O’Brian + Lance Devlan + George Begbie sLaunceston Irish Murphy’s CARL FIDLER

FACEBOOK GROUP: SHORT BACK AND SIDESHOW

Venue Guide

Hotel SOHO 124 Davey Street 6224 9494 www.hotelsoho.com.au Irish Murphy’s 21 Salamanca Place 6223 1119 irishmurphys.com.au The Loft 152 Liverpool St Hobart 7000 (03) 6231 6552 www.myspace.com/ theloft142 The Metz on the Bay 217 Sandy Bay Road 6224 4444 www.themetz.com.au

Wrest Point Entertainment Centre 410 Sandy Bay Road 6225 0112 wrestpoint.com.au LAUNCESTON The Commercial Hotel 27 George Street 6331 3868 Irish Murphy’s 211 Brisbane Street 6331 4440 www.irishmurphys. com.au Hotel New York 122 York Street 6334 7231 Lonnies 107 Brisbane Street 6334 7889 www.lonniesniteclub. com

The New Sydney Hotel 87 Bathurst Street The Royal Oak 6234 4516 14 Brisbane Street 6331 5346 Syrup www.myspace.com/ 1st Floor 39 Salamanca leapinlimpout Place 6224 8249 www.syrupclub.com The Republic Bar 299 Elizabeth Street 6234 6954 www.republicbar.com The Brisbane Hotel 3 Brisbane Street 6234 4920 www.myspace.com/ thebrisbanehotel The Alley Cat Bar 381 Elizabeth Street 6231 2299 www.myspace.com/ thealleycatbar

. ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 -FEBRUARY 03 2009

9

DEEP INSIDE… Glenn Moorehouse of Mayfield Mayfield has been shaking the bottoms and stealing the hearts of everyone in its path since they began a couple of short years ago. But what of the minds behind the mayhem? Watch out – you’re entering a D&M (Deep & Meaningful) zone!

What was the last, deepest conversation you ever had - who was it with and what was it about?

It would have to be a heated discussion with Carl [Fidler] and [his girlfriend] on Theism vs Atheism. We battled long and hard over the existence of a higher power, the nephilim, Old and New Testament, The Koran, the Catholic church, naughty priests, Israel and Palestine, Icke and Dawkins. Of course it should be noted that we were all on the side of Atheism!

What did you learn about yourself or your life?

That I’m an argumentative guy who loves a good debate. Oh, and there is no god.

Describe to me the most profound insight you ever gained from any source – film, music, TV, supernatural phenomena…?

David Icke’s The Biggest Secret. There is so much in this book that I can’t begin to explain, but the expression ‘everything you know is wrong’ has never been more true.

How do you give meaning to your life?

I look for small things in every day that keep me

amused, a good coffee, a great conversation, a fantastic meal, a good idea. Thankfully I get a lot of the above so I’m a relatively happy man.

Do things happen for a reason, or are you the reason things happen?

The universe conspires... damn that universe. There will always be things that are out of your control but you do your best and make your own luck effectively taking both ideas out of the equation.

To what extent do you feel in touch with some other, intangible aspect of life?

The closest I get is my investigation of the Annunaki and the Reptilians. I don’t necessarily feel any sort of connection with it but I believe there is a lot more to be revealed of our planet’s history. Did that answer the question?! [in a deeply ontological way – Ed.] Is it even important to feel some kind of connection to a greater cosmic whole?

For some people, yes. For me, no. I’m quite content being merely a conglomerate of organisms existing at this particular point of relative time in this dimension.

However, I believe this makes me part of a greater cosmic whole by default... but I’m quite content being...

Who is the deepest person in your band and why?

Coz. He’s the bass player. He’s into Brahma Baba. He believes cows are sacred.

What have you learned about yourself in answering

these questions?

That I waste a lot of time procrastinating when really I should be doing what my wife wants me to do which is washing up or washing the car or doing some other form of washing... damn you universe... damn you.

Ponder some serious good times with Glenn and Mayfield!

0 25 January @ Hotel New York, Launceston.

WHAT’S THE STORY? With Mark Edmunds of Foreign Films

Stories - everybody has one. Even Mark Edmunds, lead guitarist of Foreign Films has a few. But they’re sub-titled. We’ve conveniently translated his answers for this thrilling installment of What’s the Story?

Behind your band name?

While I was driving one day listening to the radio and they were talking about the latest (foreign film) and it sort of just rung in my head. I’d love to write some music for a film one day!

About how the band got together?

That’s an interesting one. Originally there were only two of us, Matt Cottrell on drums and myself, Mark Edmunds, on the guitar. Then Abel Fry kindly joined us and so it was formed. Since then, Matt decided to move on to other things and Daimsy has filled his place on the drums.

Of the first gig you ever played together?

Wow, thats really going back now! I think it was probably round two years ago. We thought we would put this whole entertaining grand show on with a foreign film playing at the start of the gig. The show started with a wild pig getting shot with an arrow from a samari on a horse! I guess it wasn’t that bad, mostly no one knew how to take us and our style.

Of the last time you were completely pissed off?

I try to avoid getting that mad!

Of the last time you were in trouble with the law?

Doesn’t happen very often, but when it does it’s hilarious! Just imagine a diving board, a wharf, a boat, beer, and three mysterious cowboys!

Of the last famous person you met?

That would have to be Toby Martin, from Youth Group.

Behind your most prized non-music related possession?

Well it’s part of the family... my Triumph.

Behind your most prized music-related possession?

You mean apart from my telly? Probably would have to be my homemade MUSE t-shirt that I got signed while backstage with the boys in Canada.

We’ll be writing about your band in five years?

As long as there is a guitar in my hand and a spring in my heart there will be Foreign Films.

Celebrate Australia Day with Foreign Films!

0 25 January @ Hotel New York 12

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Friday January 23 - Hard Drive Saturday January 24 - Rob Richards Sunday January 25 (AUS DAY EVE!) The Belchers + Phoenix Lights

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. ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 -FEBRUARY 03 2009

13

SPONSORED BY

TA S S I E ’ S

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Peter Davey’s 1992 Toyota Hilux Extra Cab

C A R S

Vehicle Graphics

WHEELS/BRAKES 18” Dolce Wheels with Falken Rubber SUSPENSION F/B/S/S Airbag Set up Drop Spindels Firestone Air Bags at each corner Parker 5/8 Valves Forward Facing Triangulated Four Link Rear 8 Inch Chassis Notch Engine Driven Compressor feeding two air tanks

DRIVER PROFILE Peter Davey AGE: 25 CAR CLUB: Sinister Mini Trucks and Customs.

BODYSTYLING Custom Green Colour with yellow pearl Shaven door handles, locks, indicators, fuel door, antenna and tub hooks.

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Cadillac taillights Hilux Surf flush mount head lights 98 Hilux genuine front bumper and apron

What car did you have before this one?

1996 Hiace – back when 17” wheels were considered big.

When and where did you buy your car?

In 2004 as a project off a good mate in Sydney.

What would you like to have after this?

Hilux Surf on 2wd Chassis, bagged and bodydropped.

What’s your dream car and why?

Current ride, bodydropped with a blown lexus v8.

OTHER MODS Tubbed front and rear Custom Notch Cover inside tub Relocated fuel cell Hilux Surf bucket seats Dollar Sign Billet Steering wheel Alpine Stereo throughout with full stinger wiring

What’s a funny story to do with the car?

Transport don’t like it.

Why do you love the car?

It’s what I wanted my Hilux to look like, it’s a proud moment rolling something you built

FUTURE PLANS Rego and a V8

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GIG REVIEWS MONA FOMA: SUNDAY AT MOORILLA @ Moorilla Estate, 11 January 2009

HAWKSLEY WORKMAN AND FILASTINE @ The Republic Bar, 11 January

Well, thanks be to the gods for a benevolent entrepreneur who has decided to be a patron saint of the avant-garde arts and the insider advantage of a pioneer of folk-punk as curator. Along with some hefty private and government bucks, they brought Hobart to its knees with the first MonaFoma. Offering a vast smorgasbord of the world’s cutting-edge artists, the Museum of Old and New Art’s inaugural Festival of Music and Art included a workshop series and overflowing gigs at the Peacock Theatre, concluding its free program with an exceptional picnic concert for six hours on the lawns of the Moorilla estate. Just because. Just because it’s Hobart and they want to and they can and why the beep not?!

Hearing Hawksley Workman brings on memories of palpable synaesthesia for me, of dancing like a woman possessed along streets three feet deep in Canadian snow while listening to his album on headphones.

And that’s seven years ago - a pretty good litmus test for a musical experience that’s made an impression.

I was always going to be biased but my friend, who had never heard of him, declared it his favourite act from MonaFoma, and he was at the The Republic three nights in a row.

The afternoon was sweltering, the as-yet shy summer sun blazing down all its pent-up heat on every scrap of spare skin. The local Taiko Drum performers would have built up a sweat in the middle of a drizzly winter day, so how they managed to give an opening session of huge energy and primal power is beyond me. I could barely lift the beer to my lips let alone pound a huge drum in a pilates pose.

One of the highlights was Striptease, which he introduced, promising Oedipal references, and other legacies of a good Catholic upbringing, and Jealous of Your Cigarette, the lyrics of which continued with “and how you want to suck on it”… What a dude - raw, sexy and BAD. It was awesome to hear how he’s transformed, spinning out into entranced vocal tangents and playing like a DJ with his own voice and set list, flipping between songs and weaving in hilarious samples from Chris Isaak and Britney Spears, no doubt tipping his hat to the melodramatic pop he seems able to send-up as well as master.

AustraliaDay_Soho_2009.pdf

1/19/2009

1:11:14 PM

A few of the acts early on didn’t seem to suit the vibe of the crowd, or perhaps it was the weather or the setting, but a few die-hards partied on in front of the

stage while everyone else tried to keep hydrated and escape third-degree burns. James Blood Ulmer had us transfixed with his deep-blue Blues, and his Survivors of the Hurricane was mesmerising, but his gender politics were a little too old skool for some.

The real treat of the afternoon gathered along with the storm clouds. Mali’s world-famous kora player and traditional singer, Mamadou Diabate joined with Indian-Australian tabla master Bobby Singh and our very own guitarist singer-songwriter Jeff Lang, in delivering intense aural pleasure to the crowds.

Children played chasings through the forest of dancing adults as the intricate melodies rippled out over the patchwork of picnic rugs, with every version of ‘family’ sitting on them.

Resembling a working group from the United Nations, these three virtuosos gently passed the musical focus between them, channelling some powerful ancient musical traditions. The crowd couldn’t help but be transfixed.

As their playing peaked the sky covered over with purple clouds, and with the final grace of an encore the relieving rain came down as they played the last notes, smiling knowing smiles. Magic! sNINNA MILLIKIN

HEINEKEN Beer Models

Filastine followed on with an awesome anarchic set expressing the passion and rhythmic cross-culture jam of Barcelona. Activist VJ projections flashed images of the Middle East, the real warlords of the ‘War on Terror’ and oil fields burning, while the crowd kicked some serious dust to his live overlays of Brazilian rhythms, played, on what else, but the ubiquitous shopping trolley. His accomplished Arabic rhythms on the Darbuka were a treat, and synching all this up as well as managing a handstand in order to kick the trolley as a finale was a feat of multi-tasking to behold.

MIKE

YD) S ( R HYPE s

support t n e d i s and re + Local

sNINNA MILLIKIN

$3 BASIC SPIRITS

ON YOUR FEET SOLDIER, SUNDAY, SOMETHING RUINED, SOUND A SURRENDER, HIGH FIVE FOR HITMAN, RESILIENT @ The Brisbane Hotel, 10 January 2009

From 10pm

C

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CM

Resilient kicked off, overcoming some bass issues to deliver a solid performance. These guys play some amazing, positive, straight up hardcore and their first two shows this weekend proved they are here to make a mark.

Next up, High Five For Hitman wasted no time blasting through their blend of straight and fast hardcore with vocalist Timmy Westwood glad to give out mic grabs.

These guys have changed line-up and style since the release of last year’s demo and it seems like they’re not wasting their time.

Sound A Surrender opened with 11:11 to which they’d added a mosh intro, but this song is nothing but just that- mosh! It sounds very Confession inspired, but their guitarist informs me this is not the case. Desolate also proved SAS are toying with a few different ideas, with this song slowing down the set for a change of pace. They charged through the rest of what was a solid set - Oldies I Got Game, No Regrets and Slaves brought some mosh and singalongs before finishing.

Sunday Something Ruined were next, taking a very different path since the days of their mosh-friendly demo, SSR have changed somewhat dramatically.

Although, by request, they played old favourite, Description of This City. Will has an amazing voice with a lot of potential, but the change of style doesn’t do a thing for me. But that’s not to say SSR are not good.

MY

CY

CMY

Y R T N FREE E From 9pm

K

A I L Y T A R A TR DAY P

Y K A H S T GE

S U A

On Your Feet Soldier closed the show, delivering a bone-crunching set of new material. Although some fans seemed alienated, this stuff seemed to connect with most. All in all, a good show. sDAVID DOWLING WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

. ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 -FEBRUARY 03 2009

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COMEDY games, gadgets, and other digital distractions: zzappped@sauce.net.au GOD SIM // XBOX LIVE ARCADE

NEWS:

A Kingdom For Keflings

One small step for Xbox, one giant leap for your avatar!

NEW LIPS DLC KEEPS THE PARTY PUMPING New downloadable tracks have been made available for Microsoft’s karaoke game, Lips.

Single songs, including hits from Fall Out Boy, The Pussycat Dolls and The Cardigans will be available for purchase for between 160 and 180 Microsoft points each.

The new offerings will boost the number of songs available on Lips to well over 70 by the end of the month.

ATARI TO LAUNCH GHOSTBUSTERS

Xbox makes an enormous effort to bring us a game with a big heart. Play as a giant using your Xbox avatar and kindly help the tiny Kefling villagers establish their kingdom. By putting them to work in this cute and basic god simulator you produce materials suitable for creating buildings and by further refinement you can build a whole kingdom in no time! Ever wanted your own guard tower, school and alchemist store? Well, now you can erect many different structures in which the Keflings can develop, learn and create.

titles and gleans a chuckle every so often. Multiplayer just means some team fun in creating or breaking up buildings. Nothing beats a good old sandbox style scrap for who can finish the building first or amusing yourselves with your mad kefling ball skillz.

Gain blueprints to help you get started on your medieval metropolis and eventually create your crowing glory – a castle. You obtain rewards for your big efforts and earn handy upgrades for completing tasks and directives. Warming the cockles doesn’t just mean putting a hearth in a house – you need a heart to make it a home, literally. Gain hearts to increase the population or to activate a building and you’ll have a village full of keflin’s as if they’ve been breeding like rabbits.

0 Pretty simplistic brick building basics with meagre longevity.

This averagely fun game has got a warped sense of giant humour as you can play soccer with your keflings. Alternatively you can set about putting them to use making stuff, although you get about as much satisfaction from inviting a friend online to boot them about. Also the achievements have some interesting

0 COMING UP…

Admittedly I spent a decent amount of time mucking about and experimenting but felt like it was a bubble in a snowdome and would have preferred it to have

been a survival horror game where my giant had been set upon by an angry Tudor mob who planned to divide my giant aorta between them and possibly feed them for the cold season. Suitably a tweener game when you don’t have anything else to feed your drive or very appropriate for engaging little ones with engineering dreams of building magnificent fairyland play areas. sTIARNE DOUBLE

Coinciding with the 25th anniversary celebration of the film’s original theatrical release, Atari will release Ghostbusters: The Video Game worldwide on 19 June.

GAMEPLAY: 90%

GRAPHICS: 70%

0 Colourful and bright and you get to use your avatar in a 3D environment.

Written by original Ghostbusters, Harold Ramis and Dan Aykroyd, the game reunites many of the original cast members to provide vocal performances and in-game likeness.

SOUND: 30%

0 Good SFX but the numbing monotony of the village ditty made me void of coherent conversation afterwards.

PLAYABILITY: 50%

0 Anyone with thumbs for fingers could hammer away at this with success. Soccer is a must.

TIARNE’s FINAL SCORES

OVERALL: 60%

0 Pleasant for a while but lacks any personality unless you like primary colours and repetition.

0 A KINGDOM FOR KEFLINGS IS AVAILABLE NOW FOR XBOX LIVE ARCADE.

Look out for reviews of Resistance 2, and Tomb Raider: Underworld coming up in future editions of SAUCE!

Players will join the Ghostbusters as a new recruit (two years after the events of Ghostbusters II), “testing a variety of unique equipment and gadgets, to track, wrangle and trap this wide range of awe-inspiring phantasms in an all new funny and frightening battle to save New York City from its latest paranormal plague.”

The game’s launch coincides with Sony Pictures worldwide debut of the original motion picture on Blu-ray.

BY DAVID QUINN: david@dreamwalkmedia.com

HORROR // ZOMBIE STRIPPERS

Lap Dancers to Die For

There are many times in life when the old adage “do not judge a book by its cover” rings true; films, books, videogames all have the potential to be so much more than their name implies. In some cases however it is not true and you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into just by looking at the cover, or the poster… or by simply hearing the name Zombie Strippers.

In 2007 Tarantino and Rodriguez’s Grindhouse reminded us of the joys of 70s exploitation cinema (with varying degrees of success), with all the excesses of sex, gore and debauchery it could muster.

Not content with taking a leaf out of the Grindhouse Playbook, Zombie Strippers rips out a solid few chapters and then proceeds to wipe its bum on them. It is clearly attempting to cash in on the grindhouse style without really having the smarts to emulate it well. It is cheap and nasty filmmaking, which sadly even manages to miss the mark of an amusing B-grade horror by trying to outsmart its viewers. The plot, if we must call it that, revolves around a military created zombie virus escaping into a strip club and creating “super zombie strippers”. That’s about it.

The film tries to be clever, when it should have gone for funny dialogue. It tries to be a horror and then spends way too long on the stripping sequences. It totally occasionally revels in its B-movie heritage but then seems to look longingly at other, more intelligent films. Simply put, this wants to be a witty movie with lots of philosophical jokes, but gets distracted by the boobies on show. It is cheap looking, at times astonishingly badly shot and has, across the board, terrible performances. The strippers are uninteresting and at times interchangeable, while Robert Englund’s club owner Ian Nesco [clever pun! – Ed.] is over the top and hammy. The only character who gets us through is Poco, the generic Mexican, whose fiery exit is the stuff of legend. Almost.

The term “loosely based” is thrown around a lot in this day and age and rarely is it applied accurately.

Zombie Strippers claims to be “loosely based” on Eugene Ionesco’s absurdist play, Rhinoceros, and here the stretch of the “loosely” is utterly ridiculous. In Rhinoceros the lead character Berenger sees his friends and loved ones choosing to conform to the current trend and become grey skinned animals. In Zombie Strippers, Jenna Jameson (world famous porn star) leads the charge and starts a trend in becoming the grey skinned animal, then eats the paying crowd.

Even if you go into this film with low expectations, there is a damn good chance they will not be met. To those of us who know a little about Jean-Paul Sartre, there are the tiniest glimmers of humour. However, when he said “hell is other people” I am almost completely sure he meant these people.

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CINECISM RATINGS EXPLAINED We’ve introduced a simplified, yet more puntastic, ratings system for this section!

Can’t distinguish your meh from your muck?

Here it is for the slow.

Cine-COOL: Go see it now!

Cine-MEH: Check it out, sometime, maybe.

Cine-MUCK: Do not see it, ever.

Mastery of the rating system will ensure your continued cinematic enjoyment for years to come.

Cine-MUCK sDAVID QUINN 0 ZOMBIE STRIPPERS IS OUT NOW.

WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

COMEDY - HOBART // CECIL BROWN

STRANGER THAN MICKTION Shop! Horror!With Mick Lowenstein and his Trolley of Doom!

Unimprovement is the true path to unhappiness,” says Cecil, which is strange because I’d asked him o“Self to tell me about his mother. Half an hour ago. “It’s a seven step method for stepping out of the treadmill of

Why does supermarket shopping have to be such a hellish experience? Inconvenience stores is what they should be called. Or commercial pits of despair. Too much? I tend to go to supermarkets when I’ve got very little time and mistakenly think I can just go in, grab a couple of things and get out again. Poor deluded bastard. The supermarket I tend to go to has a unique way of trapping you inside too. There’s one escalator in and one escalator out and once you’ve gone in, you have to go through the supermarket to get back out again. There is the option of going back up the down escalator, but of course when I tried that, one of the staff got on the down escalator with a line of 18 million shopping trolleys. This must be what it’s like when Indiana Jones does the shopping. In order to get a trolley, I need a dollar coin, which of course, I don’t have. I have to go into the supermarket, go to a checkout, wait in line, only to then ask if they can change a fiver. Then I go back out, get a trolley and repeat all the above supermarket entry requirements.

Right. I’m in. Red team is go. I tend to run about and kind of do this slow motion gazelle thing when I’ve got a shopping trolley. Most people hate it. Kids tend to dig it, though. And gazelles.

Hopelessness the Key to (Un)Happiness

trying to be a good person and accepting yourself for the frail bundle of vulnerability and lack of ambition that you truly are.” I nod and smile, as Cecil relaxes back into the couch, pulling his cardigan around himself ever tighter. The following is a transcript of the therapy session ahead of Cecil’s appearance at The Alley Cat Bar in Hobart later in January. Consider it a warning.

In this climate of fear, uncertainty, and doubt, what hope can Cecil Brown bring to the world?

Well you see, here’s the thing. It’s best not to hope for too much. The next few years are going to be horrible. Global economic crisis, global warming, global terrorism. Hoping is not a rational response to that. If you expect the worst and then it’s not so bad you can be pleasantly surprised. But if it is really bad then you’ll have been right, And that’s a really lovely feeling. A wise man once said it is better to enjoy the stale, nutritionally void bread roll in your hand than yearn for the hamburger that you may never have.

How did you come to develop this doctrine?

I kept wanting to be a good person and have someone love me. I kept wanting to be happy all the time. But I was only happy sometimes and so that made me unhappy. Then one day after I’d been rejected and I had no bus money and it started raining I looked at the clouds and thought, happiness is like the weather, mostly it’s too hot or too cold, or hot but with a too high UV level to really enjoy. Because I wasn’t looking where I was going, I tripped and fell face first in a puddle. At that moment I thought, WOW, this is where I really belong. Lying in a puddle looking at the ground.

And well, things really came together after that.

What would happen if you and Tony Robbins, the archetypical self-improvement guru, were to say… get stuck in an elevator for 34 hours?

I’d encourage Tony to relax and stop shouting at people like he’s revealing the bargains in the Chickenfeed store of the soul. I’d say Tony, you’re a charlatan. You fool people into thinking they can make their life different just so you can have a nice car. And he’d say I know Cecil I have 30 nice cars. And I’d say, I’d like a nice car. And he’d say, well Cecil if you really focus on it and set goals you can achieve it too. And I’d say, well probably but I really cant be bothered.

How did you get the courage to speak out on this issue?

I don’t have any courage. I am in fact terrified of people. But then I discovered that it is in fact much easier speaking on stage than it is speaking to people in a social situation. At a party you have to think of things to say. But on a stage, everything I say has been written down and rehearsed and people feel obliged to listen so it takes less courage to speak out on this issue than it does to make small talk at a barbecue.

21:21:21 @ The Long Gallery, Salamanca,

“…If you expect the worst and then it’s not so bad you can be pleasantly surprised...”

From which variety of second-hand goods store did you obtain your cardigan?

One in Hobart where the woman shouts at you if you browse saying things like, “What do you think this is, a form of entertainment!” So I grabbed some stuff at random and the cardy was a real treasure. It’s fitted. I haven’t worked out what to do with the knickers and the teacosy yet, but the china cat made a wonderful gift for my Aunty this Christmas.

What is your earliest memory of consciously UNimproving yourself?

In school. I know this because every report I got said “could try harder”. And I thought. Yeah I could. But I probably won’t. That’s become a mantra for me now.

Who have been some of the greatest influences in your journey on this path?

I am really influenced by TV shows like Home and Away and The Bill because no matter how long they run for they actually never get any better. In a way life is like those shows – the characters never really change and no matter what happens everyone does the best they can to make it as boring as possible so no one feels threatened.

Who has been the most-improved un-improver you’ve encountered in your seminars?

I haven’t run any yet, but I think Kevin Rudd has managed to aim really high and set lots of goals in his campaign and then achieve absolutely nothing and I think we’ll see him continue to achieve very little over the next three years. He’s a real example to us all.

Where are they now?

Well, okay - he is prime-minister of Australia but he’s a total lame duck. In fact he’s a duck with no wings or legs who quacks a lot. Unlike Johnny, who had a vision and really made it happen, turning Australia into a place where young people drink heavily whilst wrapped in the flag and beating up ethnic minorities, Kevin just waves his arms in the air like he just don’t care and I think he’ll be as unmemorable as a chicken sandwich after a picnic.

I’m thinking of coming to your show, but Iron Chef is on, probably – what can you offer that badly dubbed competitive cooking can’t?

Not much really. Probably best to stay at home and watch television. Just look at the economics of it.

Iron Chef has cost around 23 million dollars in fees, infrastructure, staff and marketing costs by the time it gets to your screen and you can watch it for free.

My seminar only cost $500 to make but you have to pay $5 for it. So it’s a real rip off. However, if you’d like to be utterly content for the rest of your entire life, it may be worth TAPING Iron Chef and watching it later. I promise that The TRUTH will make you see your existence in a whole new light. It also has hip-hop tunes I made in Garageband that are utterly insipid and generic that will make you want to tap your feet politely while wondering how long it is before you can get back to the bar. sCHRIS RATTRAY Get down with Cecil Brown...

0 22 & 29 January @ The Alley Cat Bar, Hobart

There’s always a cranky old woman in fruit and veg who insists on squeezing everything. I still don’t know why people do this. Are they testing if the fruit has a tumour? “Oh I never eat a cancerous grape”. Diseasist.

I gazelle past the wrapped pieces of dead animal to the deli section. The supermarket has had a bit of a makeover recently so I put on my best Indian accent and ask the chick behind the counter if this is a New Delhi? She stares back at me with the sort of look one reserves for enthusiastic Mormons. Right. Just some Jarlsberg then, thanks. I eventually find a big gap in the shelves where the biscuits I was after used to be. How handy. And there’s a little piece of paper sticky taped to the shelf to tell me that not only can’t I have them, but everyone else got them loads cheaper. Thanks Woolworths. I glide past people pretending not to buy toilet paper, tampons and condoms. I make a mental note to come back one day and only buy those items.

And wear a nun’s habit when I do. You think I’m joking don’t you? I scoff at the pre-packaged lasagne, knowing the one I make is better than anyone’s. Oh yes. It’s in print now, so there. Ha. Once I’ve got everything I then have to choose a checkout queue. I always get the one that goes a tenth of the speed as all the others. Then of course, once I’m there, there’ll be that one item that refuses to make the beep sound. “Price check on Flur Tampons!” echoes around the store.

“Is that the lot then, Sister?”

“Thank you, my child.”

True story. Apart from the lies. sMICK LOWENSTEIN Catch Mick in The Short Back and Sideshow...

0 2 February @ The Backspace Theatre, Hobart

18 STOMPIN YEARS!

Why do birds suddenly appear... ermmm... anytime there is an electric guitar about?

I actually have no idea, and I still don’t know if it’s “art”. But it sure got Hobart talking. It was like that Les Murray poem: “The word goes around Repins, the murmur goes around Lorenzini’s... down at the Long Gallery, there are some birds playing electric guitars... and I’m not talking about Women in Docs!”

Seriously. There were actual birds. Flying about and randomly landing on perches made from electric guitars. It was mad. It was crazy. It was a psychedelic, musical version of the whole monkeys and typewriters thing. And it was the only time in my life I have ever seen a line-up to get into an art gallery. The music was not to my taste. But the birds were pretty... In another room things got even trippier as weird projections danced about in little cubes and on huge big screens, in time to the tune of Greensleeves.

In the main room, you could sit in the dark on a quite un-ergonomic stool and listen to the desert, and other assorted “scapes”. Apparently, according to John Cage (an American composer and the dude who coined the term “chance music”, which was evidently what the birds in the other room were getting up to), “when we separate music from life we get art.” After going to see this show at Mona Foma, I am more inclined to believe that when we separate human beings from marbles we get shows like this. But, you know, I kinda liked it ... Everyone needs to go on a good, old fashioned, artbased “happening” every once in awhile. If you want to see birds of a feather pluck together, the show is on til February 1. sKATE GORDON WWW.SAUCE.NET.AU

Thursday, 15 January marked a milestone for Stompin Dance - it’s now 18 years since the first foot stomped, the first body moved, and the first show was performed! Yes, Stompin is now legal, and the arts community were treated to the birthday celebrations at Stompin’s studio at Dicky White’s Lane, Launceston.

Aside from the cake, the champers (or lemonade for those hardworking editors who attended during their working day!) and the interactive displays of shows past, we were treated to a sneak preview of the company’s next show, Tales From a Small City.

It was a fitting tribute to the company’s past achievements as we looked forward, and onward, with excitement at the many years of youth dance energy and colour to come.

Catch Tales From a Small City…

0 19 - 21 February.

Tickets available now - www.stompin.net . ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 -FEBRUARY 03 2009

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BY MICHAEL BLAKE

Name: Ben Age: 21 Favourite Band: The Blues Brothers What’s the best thing to get to drink in a cafe? White Hot Chocolate from Chrome What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen today? My bank balance Where’s your favourite favourite place in the whole world? Montpellier in France

Name: Charlie Age: 22 Favourite Band: Jamie Lidell What’s the best thing to get to drink in a cafe? Dukkah Hot Chocolate What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen today? Leggings Where’s your favourite favourite place in the whole world? New York City

JOHN MAYER Where the Light Is: Live in Los Angeles

ROSIE BURGESS Wait for the World

This Grammy nominated, second live album/DVD from John Mayer covers most of his work to date, including early songs, his work with the John Mayer Trio and his latest solo release; an overview of Mayer’s evolution from a soft-rock star to a heavier blues sound. The set structure of the concert reflects this progression, opening with an acoustic set reminiscent of his first LP, Room For Squares (though none of his Top 40 hits such as Your Body Is A Wonderland are featured). But even the earlier songs have a more mature sound, with added bluesy acoustic melodies and proof in his vocals that he’s more than just a songwriter/guitar player. You can really hear the connection to each song through Mayer’s voice, which is something so often lacking in his studio records.

After a few listens I had to agree with the anonymous person from Woodstock Studios in Melbourne who declared Wait for the World to be ‘a charmer of a record’.

Mayer is joined by Steve Jordan (drums) and Pino Palladino (bass) during the second set, forming the John Mayer Trio. The band has a thicker blues style than Mayer’s traditional solo work, and although he doesn’t have a classic blues voice, Mayer definitely gets into the groove of the band’s sound.

Her lyrics are poetic and, at times, enigmatic, thankfully without the emo introspection that is oft confused for mystique by your more, ‘wet behind the ears’ songwriters. From the campfire energy, complete with swinging harmonica, in Carried Her Bones Away, to the rollicking warmth of the riff that lifts Rosie’s ‘deepest secret’ in Back to The Centre, all songs have that gypsy quality of joy laid bare, with just enough darkness for the long roads ahead. And the calibre of musicians on the album, such as Sam Lohs of Fruit, and Jimi Hocking, are testimony to the musicianship of the artist by the company she keeps.

The final set is with Mayer’s current touring band, mainly playing songs from his most recent release, Continuum. He seems to have reached a happy medium with his sound, appealing both to older musos and blues fiends (as well as his screaming young female fans). The energy and performance builds from the first track until the final, I’m Gonna Find Another You - a farewell, but one with a promising message for the future. Hopefully there’s gonna be a lot more music from the evolved John Mayer for years to come.

7/10 MEEGAN MAY 18

. ISSUE 86 . JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 03 2009

Name: Christine Age: 24 Favourite Band: Gentlemen What’s the best thing to get to drink in a cafe? Cappucino What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen today? Nothing, it’s beautiful today Where’s your favourite favourite place in the whole world? Australia

Name: Keryn Age: 21 Favourite Band: The Wombats What’s the best thing to get to drink in a cafe? A marsbar latte What’s the saddest thing you’ve seen today? Two seagulls. I took photos.

Where’s your favourite favourite place in the whole world? Hiroshima

Strung across folk, blues, and gypsy roots with a predisposition for stringed flavours (including guitar, mandolin, violin and cello) there is undeniable charm in every song. The tangible package hints at the journey Rosie wants to take you on, with a cherubic Russian Doll on the cover, her tummy resplendent from the earth as centre for a sunflower. Tis a lovely aesthetic and reveals the organic, upbeat album within. And Rosie Burgess delivers with girly vocals and womanly guiles.

Wait for the World, but don’t wait to be charmed available online through rosieburgess.com.

7/10 CLARA MURRAY

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