uKunst Issue 9: The Final Countdown by Nourishment

EDITION 009 | THE FINAL COUNTDOWN €5/ $5/ £5 DECEMBER 2020

uKUNST MANIFESTO

WE are uKUNST. WE are alternative WE are creative. WE are independent. WE will produce. WE will disseminate. We have no masters. We are legion. uKUNST.

uKUNST MANIFESTO uKUNST: All Is Artifice. Creative actions and productions to challenge apathetic human acceptanceof religious delusions, bankrupt conventions, colonial and capitalist ideologies and plain lack of reason. (uKUNST Manifesto April 1, 1917). uKUNST CREATIVE PRODUCTION uKUNST develops, produces and distributes interdisciplinary arts-led creative works. uKUNST is an independent creative studio and producer delivering both in-house and external (client) products ranging from audio, visual, performance and digital arts through to literature, animation, music, print and events. By Any Media Necessary ÂŠ RFM 1995. Welcome to the ninth in a series of alternative and radical arts productions. Each uKUNST action, event or production is aimed at challenging the existing status quo across the arts, society, commerce and politics. Developing and producing a series of art or kunst products will deliver these actions. Each product is a standalone creative work as well as a part of the wider uKUNST canon of art provocations, products and productions. uKUNST SUBSCRIPTION Here at uKUNST we have decided to suspend our subscription project. All current subscribers will continue to receive their uKUNST in the post. We will be producing the long-awaited uKUNST Audio Magazine in the Nieuwe Jahr. Thank you for your continued interest, support and cash. www.ukunst.com 2 | uKUNST Manifesto

CONTRIBUTORS Anonymous Artist Sean Azzopardi Michael Barnes-Wynters Bobby Beasley AC Davidson Tim Everett Lisa F Roney FM Michael Johnson Kargan Media Fuxus Kunst Peter Marsh Trans Poleaxe Nicholas Vaughan Dawn Woolley High Priority | Roney FM | 3

EDITORIAL The Final Countdown The theme for this issue is The Final Countdown, an exploration of how the state, business, people (general public) and contemporary arts are experiencing the forthcoming reclamation of Great British sovereignty however, as per usual, contributors are free to express their interest or disinterest in any current human-made advance or catastrophe including the ubiquitous employment of lunatics to positions of national and international leadership. The real reason that the establishment is hell-bent on leaving Europe has little to do with the absurd falsehood of taking back control or reclaiming our sovereignty. The real purpose of Brexit is to free those in power from laws or regulations that impinge upon or interfere with their unfettered exploitation and plundering of the public purse. The recent PPE Procurementgate scandal is but one example of the government bypassing experienced and better value for money suppliers in favour of (inexperienced) companies with connections to government ministers. Talk about conflicts of incest! And what of the Orifice for Budgetary Irresponsibility? Or the Office for Paramillinery Standards? The failure of these organisations, to check the continued fiscal impropriety of successive governments reveals the dearth of oversight in public life. Some years ago when parliament decided to remove access to legal aid for the vast majority of citizens politicians assured the dismayed and outraged that the public would be provided with more than adequate protection by a bunch of regulatory bodies that had been set up. These regulatory authorities and ombudsman services, and there are many of them, are in fact private profit making companies. Many have links to the very organisations and businesses they were set up to regulate. Further, executive appointments to these (public) bodies are often in the gift of the government. There is much evidence that shows many regulators upon receiving complaints from the public either simply ignore or delay proper complaint resolution safe in the knowledge that there will be no punishment for their failures and misdemeanors. The LGO, FOS, FCA, ICO, DWP and of course central and local government are just a sample of the bodies often operating to public detriment. The myriad of financial scandals during the last decade and the continued fines on financial businesses indicate that the financial sector has learned nothing from Libor, PPI, excessive commissions and bank charges, useless pension schemes and the Great 2008 Crash itself. Why get your act together if the taxpayer will bail your corrupt ass out when you fuck up? Now if the UK were still in the EU it would find itself hauled before European regulators and legal systems. Data protection, human rights, working directives, financial services regulation, all these and more protect EU citizens from the rapacious habits and schemes of those in business and indeed government. It is the abhorrence of any restriction of their privilege that lies behind the parliamentary determination to withdraw from Europe. Any knucklehead, upon browsing the contributions to UK life through European Union regulation, investment and funding, must surely see that the general public has gained much from UK membership. The same knucklehead must conclude that the biggest gain from Brexit will be for those with power, wealth and privilege and the biggest losers will be those without power, wealth and privilege. The public. Sovereignty My Arts! So as we somulently drift into a perfect storm of ignorance, incompetence, grand theft fiscal and oblivion let us not forget that great revisionist, hack-journalist, war monger, imperialist, Gibraltarian saviour and watercolour painter Winsome Birchthrill and his cautionary words, Never in the entire field of human stupidity were so many fucked over by so fewâ&#x20AC;Ś Welcome to this disgusted, dazed and bemused yet strangely applicable edition. uKUNST Enjoy Der Herausgeber December MMXX 4 | Editorial | The Final Countdown

Sagrada Familia Angel | Roney FM | 5

6 | Lisa F | Check Protect (Go Out, Don’t Go Out, Go To Work, Don’t Go To Work) 2020

Doomsday Clock | Sean Azzopardi | 7

A Poem Café

Sitting in Mike’s Café waiting for our foods sugar and spice everything nice nothing goes missing eating your chips & feeling warm within dreading christ mass & new year new year is waiting to be let in Around the corner of no choices? coffee? to sink or swim? sweet? is the wisdom swinging backwards food enters your mouth to the within… the beavered iced moon smiles down fortune the few? tea? now kill the bill? smoke? someone’s won an evil eye 4 Xmas the pudding is ready for the bin eat tomorrow’s sleep away (repeat) 17:12:80 W11

8 | Trans Poleaxe | A Poem Café

Untitled Dec 2020 | Bobby Beasley | 9

10 | Fuxus Kunst | Organ Grinders 2020

Through The Glass Darkly | Fuxus Kunst | 11

Brexit Meltdown Da-da-dumb-dumb Da-da-dumb-dumb-dumb Da-da-dumb-dumb Da-da-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb Da-da-dumb-dumb Da-da-dumb-dumb-dumb Da-da-dumb-dumb Da-da-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumb-dumbvery-dumb-so-very-very-very-dumb Very-very-dumb

We’re leaving in mayhem. It’s not going well. We promised you heaven Then sent you to hell. I guess that you took back control We’re still digging down (digging down) Will you ever get out of this self made hole? It’s a Brexit Meltdown! The Brexit Meltdown! Your brain’s in Uranus. Our porkies were tall. Unfeasibly heinous. You fell for them all. With so many gammons at stake Oven ready deal (or no deal) You flag waving goons really do take the cake. It’s a Brexit Meltdown The Brexit Meltdown. It’s a red wall let down. It’s a hedge fund hoedown. Messy blonde haired fat clown.

Brexit Meltdown | Peter Marsh | 13

Capricorn Pluto coming out of retrograde and

progressing through your sign traditionally brings some problems at this time. For example don’t make the mistakes of that other famous Capricorn. Avoid Romans, do not ride anywhere on a donkey and don’t kiss your mates.

Aquarius The Full Moon in Aquarius in the early part of the month puts an extra emphasis on the water elements in your life. Be prepared for occurrences of rising damp, urinary tract infections or dropsy.

Pisces Neptune continues to have its slightly gloomy effect on Pisceans. As it will be sitting in your sign for the next 5 years you may as well settle down for an extended period of misery.

Aries This is an even more difficult for time for Arians,

with some particularly awkward alignments in the heavens. This may be a good month to see if you can change signs, or at least swap with a friend for a while. Not with a Piscean though.

Taurus Monetary worries will be to the forefront of

you mind this month. But not to worry, it’s not all bad news. That £20 note you lost last Wednesday you will find behind the sideboard in the front room.

Gemini You may find yourself in a situation where

you are branded as deceitful or two faced, but this is just typical of the lazy, thoughtless stereotyping you must expect if you were unfortunate enough to be born under this sign. Ignore them. Although if they are right, try to change.

Cancer At the beginning of the month there are no

planets actually in your sign, so you may experience some feelings of inadequacy. Without any planetary influences you may feel light headed, inconsequential, floating through life. Excessive skipping or jumping in the air is not recommended.

14 | Michael Johnson | Horrorscope

Leo The normally ebullient, enthusiastic, occasionally arrogant Leo will be tamed by the New Moon in the middle of the month, bringing to their consciousness a calmer, more humble and reasoned approach to life. However, if these differing aspects are not reconciled harmoniously, split personality disorder, psychosis and ultimately homicidal mania may occur.

Virgo Planetary conjunctions at this time may

indicate some mild unpleasantness in the early part of the month, or the latter part, or it might all end up fine, except for a possible issue towards the end of the month, that might turn out to have a happy ending. Or not.

Libra The even handed nature of the Libran can often lead to you being thought of as boring, weak minded or just plain dull. This is the month to change all of that. Argue vehemently on subjects you know nothing about. Shout obscenities at inappropriate moments. Drop all of your friends and ingratiate yourself with a group of people you don’t like. Although be wary of taking this too far. Do not, for example, join the Conservative party. Scorpio A co-worker has been making life difficult

for you in recent times, which you have been trying to ignore. But with Mercury progressing through your sign a more forceful approach to the problem is indicated. Stash some crack cocaine in their desk drawer and inform security.

Sagittarius Unfortunately, the cat was sick on

my ephemeris just before I could finish this month’s readings and I could not accurately predict for Sagittarius. Perhaps just take last month’s reading and move some of the words around.

Lisa | Tim Everett | 15

16 | Dawn Woolley & AC Davidson | Bois of Isolation Glitches

Tally Ho Totem | Nicholas Vaughan | 17

18 | Roney FM | Bye Bye Baby, Baby Goodbye (USA)

Final Countdown | Michael Barnes-Wynters | 19

20 | Fuxus Kunst | The Chancellorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Extraordinarily Generous Package

Merry Zmas | Anonymous Artist | 21

22 | Michael Barnes-Wynters | Over

PUBLISHERS PAGE

First published in 2020 By uKUNST United Kingdom The European Union Printed in England Original Design by K3 Media Photographs by RFM, K3 Media & The Artists All rights reserved © 2005-2020 uKUNST Magazine © uKUNST & The Contributors Published in 2020 by uKUNST, Londinium, Imperial Britain The right of uKUNST, K3 Media and the various contributors to be identified as the authors of this work has been asserted in accordance with the copyright, designs and patents act 1988. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system, without either the prior permission in writing of the relevant contributors, publishers or a license, permitting restricted copying. The content and views of this publication are not necessarily those of uKUNST whether they elicit a smile or not. Any complaints should be directed to your Member of Parliament who is paid to listen to your gripes. Price £5/ $5/ €5 Proceeds from this publication will contribute towards further uKUNST provocations and productions. If you enjoy it then please pay for it. Designed by K3 Media & Kargan Media www.ukunst.com

Publisher Info | 23