uKunst issue 10: J' Accuse by Nourishment

EDITION 010 | J’ACCUSE...! MARCH 2021

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uKUNST MANIFESTO

WE are uKUNST. WE are alternative WE are creative. WE are independent. WE will produce. WE will disseminate. We have no masters. We are legion. uKUNST.

uKUNST MANIFESTO uKUNST: All Is Artifice. Creative actions and productions to challenge apathetic human acceptanceof religious delusions, bankrupt conventions, colonial and capitalist ideologies and plain lack of reason. (uKUNST Manifesto April 1, 1917). uKUNST CREATIVE PRODUCTION uKUNST develops, produces and distributes interdisciplinary arts-led creative works. uKUNST is an independent creative studio and producer delivering both in-house and external (client) products ranging from audio, visual, performance and digital arts through to literature, animation, music, print and events. By Any Media Necessary © RFM 1995. Welcome to the tenth in a series of alternative and radical arts productions. Each uKUNST action, event or production is aimed at challenging the existing status quo across the arts, society, commerce and politics. Developing and producing a series of art or kunst products will deliver these actions. Each product is a standalone creative work as well as a part of the wider uKUNST canon of art provocations, products and productions. uKUNST SUBSCRIPTION Here at uKUNST we have decided to suspend our subscription project. All current subscribers will continue to receive their uKUNST in the post. We will be producing the long-awaited uKUNST Audio Magazine during 2021 Thank you for your continued interest, support and cash. www.ukunst.com 2 | uKUNST Manifesto

CONTRIBUTORS Anonymous Artist Anna Bean Michael Barnes-Wynters Roney FM Michael Johnson Kargan Media Königin Fuxus Kunst Peter Marsh Michael Mavrik Les Norbitones Trans Poleaxe Simon Poulter David Priestman Sonskrif Media & Somnambulist Internationale Nick Wells Running For Cover | Königin | 3

EDITORIAL This issue’s theme is J’Accuse…! an exploration of those in positions of power and privilege and their abuses, absurdities and deficiencies. Many have already mused upon recent affronts to humanity and democracy such as Brexitism, Trumpism or the delightful Turkish regime. Who needs reproaching and what for? With traditional post-Brexit suspicion and disbelief we express our (dis)interest in the current human-induced dystopia including the ubiquitous corporate-state deployment of algorithms against the general public. Our government and all the despotic regimes charged with stewardship of the state don’t so much need accusing as being held accountable for their inhumanity, lies, corruption, grand fiscal larceny and general humbuggery. Hitler stated that only three systems can rule (substitute fool) the world and its people; Catholicism, Fascism and Freemasonry. Add rampant capitalism to that. In dear old Blighty we have walkslept into rule by the most fascistic, deluded and narcissistic leader since Oswald Muesli almost a century ago. Lumpy supplier BoJo, surrounded by Machiavellian hatchet people alongside his personally selected ex-public school chinless wonders and greedy career politicians, repeatedly fails his terms of office. It’s not an isolated abject failure. So-called leaders everywhere run amok, appointing woefully inexperienced, lickspittle, family, friends and cronies to high public office, replacing those with integrity, objectivity and public spirit. From the murderous and brutally inhuman Syrian leader to the crop-topped Queen of Thailand we peoples idly observe. Slaves to our regional dictatorships. What cure for the considerable apocalyptic ailments of modern humans? Historically peasants would simply have been revolting, tearing down the monumental effigies of their prosecutors and defenestrating the living administrators of their sorrows. The UK government is particularly dishonest, unpleasant and Incapable of handling public affairs, despite a nonexistent Magic Money Tree, it continues to print and distribute money like a Monopoly board game factory. Again, those on benefits and (1% pay rise) health workers are told to tighten their belts as those in public office and their offshore cronies loosen their belts in anticipation of hearty, multi-course meal tickets. The NAO recently published details of the government PPE procurement overspend, which runs into billions. It allegedly also overspent millions in 2020 but this figure omits the recent (eye-watering) expenditure on the Princess Numb-Numb Parlour & Media Centre makeover. In the recent Tom Tugging-Schaft’s Defence Review ministers sought to justify expenditure of billions citing cyber security and replacement warheads. However when questioned about how nuclear warheads could be deployed in cyberspace the minister was mute. Alarm bells also peal about internet providers tracking and collecting public online activity in a secret Home Office trial aimed at enhancing national security and law enforcement. Authority for this Big Brotherism is the Investigatory Powers Act 2016 called out by Edward Snowden. Behind a pandemic smokescreen the government continues to divide and rule the people whilst creating absurd, inhuman, outrageous and undemocratic legislation (aimed at monitoring, restricting and abusing civil liberties) such as the Police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts Bill 2021 a piece of draconian and malicious legislation that Martin Bormann would envy. So as we descend into an inevitable, perhaps deserved, doom we should reflect on our own failures as citizens and stakeholders. Surely our apathy, selfishness, bogus empathy and acceptance of clearly ridiculous mantras and policies are factors in the state of this nation. Let’s take up BoJo’s call to arms and Squeeze The Disease. That disease is British Corporate Imperialism as practiced by those in power and (inherited or otherwise) positions of privilege. Long live the revolution, if it isn’t already dead. Welcome to this latest creative, pro-hesitance, buffoonery-filled and hilarity-garnished edition. uKUNST Enjoy Der Herausgeber March MMXXI 4 | Editorial | J’Accuse...!

Fruit de Gaul | Peter Marsh | 5

6 | Anonymous Artist | J’Accuse 2020

Light Entertainment | Peter Marsh | 7

8 | Fuxus Kunst | Through A Glass Darkly

Old 2 Older >> 02/02/80

Guitars tuning The smell of rum Summer of joys Are waiting To be let in The snow is falling Coldness is creeping in To mix the day with sadness No more gin to keep me Warm within Fires burning Kills the dampness The building is crumbling in It freezes from within & now the candle tickles The light is fading I’m packing this in To dream of brandy & smoke till dawn An oral sex pet W11

Old 2 Older | Trans Poleaxe | 9

100 One-Liners Part 1

Pope. Your portrayal of Jesus bores me to tears. Abdicate and let Tony Blair have a go. [CUT] I love soccer aid. Rich Caucasians helping poor African children is brilliant. How has racism thrived for so long when grand gestures like this are made every two years? [CUT] Why are the faces of Z-List Celebrities and one hit wonders more famous than Neil Armstrong who was the first man on the moon? Just asking for a friend. [CUT] Being a musician was a great way to live, but a terrible way to make a living. [CUT] Modern business. Most must starve so that the few may eat. [CUT]

One single British bullet costs £65. That is more than the unemployed get to live on in a week.

If a person is traumatised long enough, that person will either die of a broken spirit. Or will live as the slave of the oppressor. Or he will rise up and give his oppressor hell forever.

Hands up all who believe to raise the standard of one race is to lower the standards of another?

[CUT]

Did you know that silence can destroy sound? Listen.

Britain having one of the best democracies in the world, shows how bad the world is where democracy is concerned.

[CUT] What if you are speaking from the place in mind where a fool believes he is talking sense? [CUT]

[CUT]

[CUT] A serious question to every politician. When heaven comes to earth, will the tail still try to wag the dog? [CUT]

10 | Michael Mavrik | 100 One-Liners Part 1

MR Paris 2016 | Roney FM | 11

Horrorscope N.B. It may be useful to point out that I believe both Boris Johnson and Donald Trump are Geminis… ERRATUM Due to a slight misreading of the signs I had suggested in the last issue that Arian’s look out for a tall dark stranger who wanted to ‘Hug them’. That should have read ‘Mug them’. We apologise for any financial losses incurred. ARIES The God of War is stirring this month, so avoid those niggly little arguments that can so easily get out of control. Try to make up with the annoying neighbours instead of purchasing that infra-red sniper’s rifle and the land mines. They are an unnecessary escalation. TAURUS Uranus in retrograde may have an unfortunate effect on your body chemistry. Wash vigorously at least four times a day and avoid food with any flavour, as you will smell like polecat and have chronic gas. Remember to sit downwind of anyone you are romantically involved with. GEMINI Some Geminis who have pursued a career in the political right wing have made some unfortunate decisions recently, as they are over-entitled, vacillating, narcissistic, lying, indolent, pig ignorant, avaricious, bottom feeding scum who have ignored the advice of expert after expert in areas they know nothing about, resulting in the unnecessary deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and the ruination of the economy. Bastards! CANCER An almost forgotten incident from your past could well return to haunt you this month, with a 4 page expose in a Sunday tabloid. A long journey may also be on the cards, preferably to a country without an extradition treaty to the UK. LEO Prepare for disappointment, as a deep and long held desire will be dashed this month when a friend points out it has been illegal since the Wildlife and Countryside Act of 1981 VIRGO It is time to re-connect with old friends, make contact with some of those who may have drifted away from your social circle. There is a good chance that at least some of them may have forgotten to renew the restraining orders.

LIBRA It’s wildly differing fortunes for the next two signs. For Librans, things are definitely looking up this month. There are many positive aspects in the heavens that all point to the fact that unlimited success, untold riches, superhuman powers, immortality, all could be yours with just a little effort. SCORPIO The stars are not looking down kindly on Scorpios, however. They will be lucky if they are not hit by a meteorite or mauled by a lion escaped from the nearest zoo. Although human sacrifice has long been frowned upon, a blood libation to the Scorpion god may help stave off a painful death. SAGITTARIUS You may find it difficult to focus in the coming month. Decisions might be difficult to make with any authority. You may change your opinion on a regular basis, ignore informed advice, give differing information on the same subject, find you have misled people… Take stock. Get a grip. Ask a friend to slap you in the face with a bit of wet fish if necessary, as you are in danger of becoming a government minister. CAPRICORN Cupid’s arrow could be pointing at unattached Capricorns (and the ones with low morals too) as a secret admirer may make themselves known to you. Unfortunately, indications suggest that a psychotic stalker may also make contact, but I’m afraid I cannot tell you which is which…. AQUARIUS This may be a good time to review your work situation. It might feel you have been stuck in the same place, while you know there other opportunities out there. A career change may do you good. Take Astrology, for example. Throw a pile of generalisations into a hat and pull them out, one by one. Voila, you have a horoscope and you can start your own column. Not this one mind you. It’s mine. Keep your greedy little eyes off it. PISCES Don’t ask. Another absolute shocker. Worse than last month. Stay in bed and send out for food. CTHULHU This month’s guest sign is Cthulhu. This octopus-headed, multi -tentacled, winged, clawed ape, dripping poisonous ichor from its gaping jaws is a tricky constellation to find in the heavens. Its appalling aspect and malign influence mean that very few people actually want to know anything about predictions for this sign. I’m not sure why we invited this one in… Horrorscope | Michael Johnson | 13

14 | David Priestman | 57

J’Accuse | Anna Bean | 15

16 | Peter Marsh | Cemetery Rules

Surveillance Platter 004 | Nick Wells | 17

The Way We Communicate 2021

18 | Simon Poulter | The Way We Communicate 2021

Afghanistan Argentina China Columbia Egypt Iran Israel Libya Madagascar Pakistan Russia Saudi Arabia Somalia Sri Lanka Sudan Tunisia Turkey Zimbabwe

UK Arms Sales | Fuxus Kunst | 19

And Another Thing Food banks for nurses And bailouts for bankers. State visits thrown for mass murdering wankers. Companies treating the world like a dump. These are things that don’t half give me the hump.

Armbands on arseholes And medals on cronies. Air-time that’s wasted on Faraging phonies. Buying a lie and left feeling a chump. These are things that don’t half give me the hump.

Born again bigots And rabid right-wingers. God’s honest truths that turn into humdingers. Bleatings from Brexit and tweetings from Trump. These are things that don’t half give me the hump.

Morons with power And loonies with rifles. MAGAzines filled with Kardashian trifles. Systems that let down the world with a thump. These are things that don’t half give me the hump.

Men in white dresses With tall, pointed hoodies. Panama papers and tax-free stashed goodies. Hedge funds that soar while economies slump. These are things that don’t half give me the hump.

Swastika proud boys And Qanon suckers. Working class votes for Etonian fuckers. Lemmings who wait for the order to jump. These are things that don’t half give me the hump.

Where there’s sunshine Where there’s reason When I’m feeling ace Some tousled-haired tosser inside number 10 Will wipe the smile off my face.

Where there’s foresight Where there’s wisdom When I’m feeling sane I simply switch on to the Nine O’Clock News And get the right hump again.

20 | Les Norbitones | And Another Thing

Perryman Close & Epping Walk | Sonskrif Media & Somnambulist Internationale | 21

22 | Peter Marsh & Michael Johnson | The Seat Of Power & Zola Joke

PUBLISHERS PAGE

First published in 2021 By uKUNST United Kingdom The European Union Printed in England Original Design by K3 Media Photographs by RFM, K3 Media & The Artists All rights reserved © 2005-2021 uKUNST Magazine © uKUNST & The Contributors Published in 2021 by uKUNST, Londinium, Imperial Britain The right of uKUNST, K3 Media and the various contributors to be identified as the authors of this work has been asserted in accordance with the copyright, designs and patents act 1988. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system, without either the prior permission in writing of the relevant contributors, publishers or a license, permitting restricted copying. The content and views in this publication are not necessarily those of uKUNST whether they elicit a smile or not. Any complaints should be directed to your Member of Parliament who is paid to listen to your discontent. Price £5/ $5/ €5 Proceeds from this publication will contribute towards further uKUNST provocations and productions. If you enjoy it then please pay for it. Designed by K3 Media & Kargan Media www.ukunst.com

Publisher Info | 23