DOORK EAST MAGAZINE VOLUME 3 - Daark East by doorkeast

VOL

DOORK EAST MAGAZINE March 2023

Daark East

D OORK EAST

M AGA Z IN E Volume 3 Daark East March 2023

EDITOR IN CHIEF Ramiro Baldwin EDITORS Ridley Chiesa Clair Ventucci REPORTERS Lincoln King Ramsey Castillo Redford White MAGAZINE DESIGN Upwind Strategy DE LORE DEPARTMENT Toggen Svenson Tranter Roberts Théo Best (Crispy) DE ART DEPARTMENT Amans Best Tranter Roberts Théo Best (Crispy) COVER Tranter Roberts PROOFREADING Mrs Brown Upwind Strategy AUDIOBOOK VERSION Upwind Strategy youtube.com/@doorkeast

INTRODUCTION Welcome to the third volume of Doork East Magazine. The Ape Society is a vibrant community of diverse Apes with unique personalities and backgrounds. In this volume, we continue to explore the thrilling adventures of our Doorks as they discover the fascinating world of Daark East.

OUR S TATEMENT “We, Apes of Doork East, have gathered in the most affordable district around a simple idea: to take an active role in the construction of the ecosystem that surrounds us. Without pretension, but not without fun.” This magazine is an expression of that spirit, of our passionate desire to communicate our aspiration to see The Ape Society contribute to a thriving ecosystem that benefits all, in and beyond The Ape Society.

DISCLAIMER

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. The Doork East Magazines are not intended to be and do not constitute financial advice, investment advice, trading advice, medical advice, dietary advice or any other advice or recommendation of any sort. None of the content contained here constitutes an offer (or solicitation of an offer) to buy or sell any NFT, cryptocurrency, currency, product or financial instrument, to make any investment, or to participate in any particular trading strategy. All rights reserved.

C ON TACT US Address

Contact

The Ape Society

E : magazine@doorkeast.com

Doork East - District 11

Twitter: TAS_Doorks

Letter from Kipp Baldwin Author: UpwindStrategy

NFT: Kipp Baldwin (The Ape Society)

Hear ye, hear ye, my fellow Apes of Doorkshire! As Doorks, we are united by a boundless curiosity that propels us to explore the furthest reaches of our wondrous realm. For in doing so, we cultivate a steadfast sense of fellowship and camaraderie that binds us together in a common purpose. As we prepare to embark upon a new and exhilarating journey, let this missive be the beacon that guides us to the uncharted territories of Daark East. Let us remember that distance matters little, for it is the emotions that stir within us, the inspiration that impel us forward, and the imagination that expands our horizons, that connects us all in a common purpose. So I implore you, my fellow Apes, to cast aside your trepidation and embrace the spirit of adventure that beckons us all. For it is through our collective efforts that we shall pave the way for a brighter, bolder future, and one that shall be forever etched in the chronicles of Doork East’s glorious history.

Kipp Baldwin

A s on ne t by

Kin g Bra d fo rd Ri c h Author: CardanoShield

March of the Apes Amid the frigid air of crypto winter The Ape Society toiled harder than ever before Stayed warm together and did not splinter And became a juggernaut impossible to ignore Our spirits may rise, and sometimes they fall Tempers can flare, and impatience can brew We must look beyond and rise above it all Bring our ideas to life and to ourselves be true Hand painted canvases beyond belief With images so vibrant and inspiring Framed by community in golden leaf True beauty comes from great perspiring

Illustration: Tranter Roberts

And thus the March of the Apes did commence To grow Cardano into something immense

The final order of the de Balboa King Author: Toggen

7 Illustration: Tranter Roberts

The central square of Victoria Grove was decorated with de Balboa crests from all the buildings that had easy access. Even the city hall had brought out the crest that was hoisted up in the largest flagpole next to the tower. It was a busy morning for all the cafes and restaurants on the square as de Balboa Apes from all over Scholnag had come with their pockets full of $SOCIETY to spend. The Doork East Apes had prepared for a while and had enough sandwiches, canapes, champagne bottles, and wine to satisfy the droves of explorer Apes who had come to celebrate this momentous event. the pulpit. Two of the four stewards of the de Balboa family then proceeded to blow on their horns to get the remaining Apes in the crowd to fall to silence and divert their attention to the podium. In the background, the historian Ape of the family, Dayton de Balboa, was ready with pen in hand to document the event. The Ape on the pulpit, Rodrigo de Balboa, cleared his throat, sat down the standard with the de Balboa crest and lifted a scroll over his head so all could see. He then started to speak.

On the very centre of the square a few official looking de Balboa Apes had set up a stand. A pulpit had been built at some height over the stand, where a de Balboa Ape was now standing with the standard in one hand and a decree in the other. On a pedestal next to the Ape, a Diamond Hands Trophy was placed. It was the trophy of King Alfonso de Balboa himself. The birds were happily chirping away, and the many Apes gathered in the square were enjoying their food, drinks, and the lovely warm weather in the very heart of Doork East. After some time, the tranquil peace of the place was interrupted by the sound of cannons. The salute scared away the birds and made the Apes shift their attention to the central square. As soon as the cannonade had stopped, a group of ten de Balboa Apes in their official garments marched from all sides, beating rhythmically on large drums. They all marched against the stand in the centre of the square and stopped below

“Explorer Apes of the de Balboa family! I hold in my hand today the final decree from our beloved King, Alfonso de Balboa. With the authority bestowed to me by the King himself, I will hereby execute on the final orders of our royal leader”. Rodrigo lowered the scroll down and carefully removed the seal of the King. He then laid the document diligently down on the table in front of him and unrolled it with the dignity such a manifest demanded.

The Final Order of The King

Let it be known throughout the lands far and wide that on this day, Sunday the 19th of March 2023 at precisely 23:59:59 UTC, King Alfonso de Balboa of the family de Balboa in the Republic of The Ape Society will officially step down as King, be relieved of all royal duties and relinquish all royal favours. At precisely 00:00:00 UTC on Monday the 20th of March 2023, the Diamond Hands Trophy minted by Alfonso de Balboa will be transferred to the de Balboa Family Treasury to await the arrival of the new King. The trophy will remain locked in the Treasury until the rightful heir presents him or herself in front of the family, in the family chat room, to claim the prize. This is my final order. Thank you all for your loyal service to King and Family. Alfonso de Balboa 9

As Rodrigo looked up to the audience to signify that the final order had been given, the crowd erupted in cheers and song. “Long live the King” “de Balboa forever” “hail the new King”. After a moment, Rodrigo clapped his hands three times to get the crowd to settle down. When silence again fell over the square he began to speak. “Dear Apes, as you now have heard, our beloved King is stepping down and it is time to find a new Ape to take over the responsibility to lead our family. As tradition dictates, we have procured the services of the fine Apes of Doork East Baank to both secure the Diamond Hands Trophy until a new King is found, and also to aid in the process of finding a suitable successor”. Rodrigo turned towards the trophy on his side and pointed to it. “Now, let the trophy be brought to Mornington Road and the Doork East Baank in a royal procession. We invite all Apes in the area to join the march. The abdicated king has set up a royal feast outside the Baank to celebrate this important event.” With that, another cannonade and horn blowing ensued. The Diamond Hands Trophy was brought down to ground level and was now guarded by the drummers and the four de Balboa Stewards. Moments later, an ornate and beautiful carriage drawn by four of the finest thoroughbred horses pulled up to the square. On each side of the carriage two Apes in golden linen and gold helmets carried the crest of de Balboa with majestic pride. Inside the cart the former King was seated. The crowd could see that he was cheerfully waiving and nodding his head to the masses that had gathered in the centre. Moments later the carriage stopped in front of the stands and the trophy was carefully brought back to the King inside the cart. Rodrigo put down the trophy and picked up a sceptre that was handed to him by the King. It was the Sceptre of Scholnag, the symbol that bound the de Balboas to the district. Rodrigo saluted the King and stepped out of the carriage. He then blew on a whistle. This signalled the officials that it was time to form the procession. It was a sight to behold. From Victoria Grove, through Melendez Way, Holly Hill Avenue and Mason Court the Doork East Apes were witness to an impressive march. Rodrigo de Balboa holding the Sceptre of Scholnag, kept the pace of the group. The carriage

then followed with the four standard bearers covering the flanks of the cart. Just behind, the remaining three stewards walked in tight formation with their horns in one hand and a smaller de Balboa crest in the other. Drummers beating hard on their instrument in tune with the march then followed. After that as many as twenty lesser official Apes followed in a group and then the remaining Scholnag explorer Apes followed. They were constantly being cheered on by the Doork Apes as they moved from street to street. The march to Mornington Road and DE Baank was not too long. As the procession approached DE Baank the landscape opened and the ornate sculptures of famous Apes, as well as immaculately kept flower gardens and hedges formed the sights at each side of the approaching group. Outside Doork East Baank, King Francisco Monet was patiently waiting for his esteemed clients to arrive. Since this was a special occurrence, he had donned his best attire and even wore his crown as a sign of respect for King de Balboa and his entourage. Behind King Monet a group of senior bankers and other important looking Apes lined up. Everything from partners to special clerks were present. Covering the rear near the entrance to the Baank a group of eight alien Apes formed a square. At the front of the square a high-ranking alien with a cigar in his mouth could be seen staring straight forward. As Alfonso stepped out of the carriage, King Monet shook his hand dearly and helped him down to the ground. “Welcome to Doork East Baank, I am delighted that the esteemed de Balboa family have entrusted us with keeping escrow of the King`s Diamond Hands Trophy and to help find a new owner to the crown.” King Monet smiled as he escorted the regal Apes closer to the entrance of the Baank. “As a matter of tradition, and your track record of safekeeping, as well as reach in the market, the choice was an obvious one. Tell me, what are some of the strategies that you employ to facilitate these prestigious sales?” King de Balboa looked over to King Monet with curiosity. “My dear friend” King Monet started. “As you are aware, DE Baank have eyes and ear all over the districts and beyond. We keep agents in all circles of society and are able to target the most elusive buyers out there. We do so with respect to both buyer and seller. Sometimes wealthy patrons prefer to stay hidden from the masses and we facilitate this request. Sometimes we need to go far and wide to find the correct owners. We have eyes everywhere and my agents will regularly brief me of

the potentials out there.” After this brief explanation, the two Apes had now reached the main entrance to the Baank and stepped inside the grand doors into the main reception. Rodrigo and Dayton followed the two royal Apes with Diamond Hands Trophy in firm grip. Several Baank clerks with rings full of ornate keys lead the new small group of Apes inside the Baank. In the background the alien Apes were following ten steps back. The grand hall of the reception was magnificent. Marble pillars, white slabs of marble on the floor and some amazing depictions of historical events were painted to the ceiling itself. Busts and armour lined the walls all around, and expensive looking paintings, mostly showing Ape portraits, hung on the walls across the room. The trophy needed to be kept in the vaults though, and King Monet would personally take the de Balboa Apes to the innermost sanctum of the vaults to make sure everything was in order. Behind the many desks of the reception was the stairway down to the main vault. This was by no means the end destination, but just the way to enter. A huge vault door could be seen across the room. King Monet explained that this was the main vault of the Baank. All kinds of valuables from clients all over the districts would be stored there in shelves, boxes, and drawers. As King Monet explained, one of the clerks was busy opening a door with the Monet Crest embedded in the metal itself. It led down another flight of stairs. The explorer Apes were ushered down the stairs and were met with another huge hall. It seemed this room was reserved for wealthier clients. The hall had many small doors on each side with names. Famous names from The Society, de’ Medici, Lavigne, Monet, and some names that King de Balboa did not recognize. Tang, Chen, and Saetang. When asked, King Monet did not comment specifically on these names. In the end of the room there was another large door, this had a picture of an Ape and the door itself was made of gold. King Monet explained that this was the final destination where the trophy would be stored. The gold doors creaked loudly as the clerks shifted the heavy plates. A wide staircase appeared and below several smaller cages with amazing looking treasures were displayed. The explorers could see that several other Diamond Hands Trophies were stored

in their cages, by the looks of it they all belonged to Kings. In the centre of the room a cage was empty, this was where the de Balboa trophy would be securely locked. Rodrigo carefully placed it in the centre and the clerks locked the cage and ceremoniously presented the key to Alfonso de Balboa. “It is done.” King Monet gave Alfonso a friendly pat on the back as he motioned for them to go back up. Just before turning though, Alfonso spotted yet another door in the back of the room. It had a strange looking skull carved into wood and three bones were carved on top and on the sides of the skull. Alfonso asked what was there, but he only received a smile from King Monet. Alfonso shrugged it off and followed the King back up the stairs. As the Apes reached the main hall of DE Baank, the stewards were eager to join the crowd who were feasting in the streets. Alfonso dismissed the Apes and was alone with King Monet. Being an important client, Alfonso was invited to the main lounge of the Baank. Here the two Apes finally had a chance to sit down and have a relaxed conversation. The finest wines, cigars and brandy were offered to the abdicated King as he sat down in a plush chair in the now empty lounge. Only King Monet was accompanying him to the grand salon of the Baank. As the two Apes were now relaxing in the pristine settings of the Baank, King Monet had a few pressing questions to ask his client. “You are clearly a beloved King to your family and have made strides to unify the Apes under your command, could you shed some light on your journey to become King and the decision to pass on the torch to a new Ape?” Alfonso took a long sip of his brandy, savoured the taste before swallowing the content in a contemplating way. “You know, before I became King, I was known by the name Ralph. Ralph de Balboa. As I walk out the door of this fine Baank I shall again be known by that name. Alfonso de Balboa is the King, and whoever picks up the Diamond Hands Trophy will be known by that name from the day of the coronation.” King Monet could swear he saw a tear run down the cheek on the former King as he uttered the words. It was an emotional moment indeed.

15 Illustration: Tranter Roberts

“It was a long time ago. I was a common explorer who saw that our dear family had so much talent. Talent that was being kept in the shadows, not appreciated by the masses. This made me think. What if we had a strong King who could help coordinate the effort of the many. Help aid the cause through leadership and be a beacon of inspiration and a central point of focus for the family. Well, I picked up the crown and was quickly accepted by my peers. It was a pleasant journey. Many Apes stood up and aided me in my efforts. My contribution to the family was direction and leadership, the rest was up to the other Apes. Through my leadership I decided to deposit the tax revenue collected by my family back into a family fund. The funds have now been accumulating for close to half a year and is to my knowledge the first decentralized fund that a King has distributed for any family.” As the former King took a small break to reach for his brandy glass, King Monet interjected with a comment to the story so far. “That is a very interesting journey. Please elaborate on how the funds have helped further the cause of your family.” “To truly make the funds accessible by the family I decided to choose two stewards who each had a key to the vault where the funds were kept. These were trusted and worthy Apes that I felt would be great representatives to the interests of the family. Further to that, through election, the family voted two more Apes in as worthy holders of the keys. So currently there are four Apes who hold the keys. If any Apes within the family have ideas or projects that can help further the cause and reach of the de Balboa house, they are free to suggest it to the counsel. So far this has raised the Apes up and several have emerged as leaders in their own rights. I believe this will help our family grow and as a common Ape I will do my part to both further the family interest and help aid the new King Alfonso de Balboa.” King Monet nodded in acknowledgment of the efforts and creativity shown by the former King. “It seems to me that you have held your crown well. Surely you are suited to continue the leadership of your family. What is the reason why you now are looking for a successor to your reign, and what sort of Ape would be suitable for such a prestigious undertaking?” “There is a time and place for everything. I felt that my role was

to bring order to the family, bring stability and direction. Each and every Ape has their talent, and for me it is time to pass the crown to an Ape with even grander visions. An Ape who sees the possibilities of the entire Ape Society and can leverage that to bring our grand explorer family to new heights. I am not just looking for a random Ape to sport the crown and reap the limited glory of holding the crown passively, but an Ape with means and passion, but for Society and family. A true leader who can help raise the other Apes up and bring added value to the whole de Balboa clan.” With those words the Ape took the last sip of his brandy, stood up and gave King Monet a good long handshake. The two Apes walked together through the lounge and into the grand reception of the Baank. Alfonso de Balboa had now officially resigned as regent for his family and as he walked out the door to join the festivities on the street, he was again answering to his former name, Ralph de Balboa. The Diamond Hands Trophy of the King is still locked up in the lower vaults of DE Baank. King Monet and the Baank was given the mandate to find a suitable bearer of the crown. As always, DE Baank took its obligations to its customers very seriously and would look everywhere for suitable candidates for the title. Maybe you are the next regent of de Balboa family? Maybe you know someone who would be a good fit? The crown is for sale and can be picked up. Just make sure you have what it takes to be the successor. Inquiries related to the potential purchase of the crown can be directed to DE Baank, Doork East.

An open letter to the residents Author: Toggen

Dear Doorks, As you all have been made aware by now,

as many of you have already seen.

strange times have descended on our beloved

The other side, or Daark East as most of you

district of Doork East. From the newly

have started calling it, seems to be a place

founded menagerie at Melendez Way to the

much like our own beloved district. The air is

strange and exotic Apes that are now walking

breathable, the food is edible, and the money

among us, adaptation and caution must guide

is sound. Be aware though, so far, we know

us in these uncertain times.

very little of this alien world. The residents of

The portals will remain open for the

Daark East have dearly welcomed us and have

foreseeable future, our brightest professors

already started trading with many of you, but

in the fields of physics with the help of our

yet we know very little of what lies beyond the

resident aliens have assured us of this. The rift

city of Daark East. Reports of strange hostile

in time and space remains stable and is usable

animals, zombies, monsters, and vampires

have been coming forth. We do not yet know if

guided by wisdom and caution. We do not want

these reports are trustworthy, but I urge you all

to lose any of our dear residents, and we must

to be careful when venturing into the unknown.

continue our great relationship with the Daarks.

Let greed not cast a shadow of darkness on

Having said that, the district of Doork East will

your common senses, but rather guide you in a

let the portals at the clock museum at Melendez

cautious manner, so that you may yet return to

Way and the square at Mason Court remain

our district with the riches this new place might

open for all Apes to travel to and from Daark

facilitate.

East. We do know of other entrances and

Surely, we have all seen the potential of this

portals but have not yet been able to vet the

other world. What we Doorks manage in

destination locations and would urge all Apes

agricultural output, the Daarks mirror with

to only use the approved portals for travel.

precious metals, gems, and minerals. Let me

Good luck with your ventures, travels, dealings,

remind you all that healthy relations with

and explorations. May good fortune always be

the other side might bring us wealth beyond

with you.

anything we have previously seen, but let it be

Warm regards,

Illustration: Amans Best

Penn Cortes, Doork East Deputy Mayor

Beyond Doork East

20 Illustration: Amans Best

The Daark side! Author: Toggen

Florimond Brown had to lay down for a bit. The enormous machines had been shut down. The sub level 3 particle accelerator had finally been put to rest. No more light beams could be seen on the skies above Holly Hill Avenue. Had it really been that simple all along? The schematics seemed so intricate and complex, but it was all a decoy to steer readers away from the real texts. Months had passed with failed experiments and Florimond had to endure humiliating meetings on 120 Mornington Road with the steering committee of DEAC (Doork East Alien Council). The leader group of the aliens had become more and more impatient with Florimond after the failed attempts. What was even worse was that a group of Apes had gathered outside his chateau, protesting, and demanding all sorts of benefits, interviews and what not. It was a real bother for Florimond. He even had to sink as low as to ask the DEAC for help in getting rid of the mobs. Luckily, the tactics of opening a soup restaurant had helped. Charles de’ Medici had great connections within the Doork East Baank and was able to set up funding for this facade activity. Now there were no Apes left outside the chateau, and Florimond could work in peace. At first it seemed hard, but progress was being made. Tests had been performed for several weeks, and results were getting better. A quartz core within an electromagnetic field coiled with a rare isotope of Rhodium had a definite impact on the gravity branes. Tremors in the caves had occurred with the trials, but it was not enough. Looking at the schematics again it became clear as day, the arrows did not point to the devices on paper, they pointed to the material of the schematics itself. A quick check with the electron microscope revealed lines of alien writings on the atomic level. It needed to be infused by stable element 115 particles to work.

Several months prior to the activities on Holly Hill Avenue, events took place. The aliens had clear plans, and for a specific reason. To understand the origin of what was happening and the way leading up to the events on Holly Hill and beyond, we need to go back in time and visit the activities from the very start. The room was dimly lit as a group of five Apes were sitting still around the grand oaken table in the second basement of 120 Mornington Road. A flicker of light could be seen at the end of the table as a majestic looking Ape lit up his cigar. The silence was broken when the leader of “DEAC”, Charles de’ Medici started speaking to the group. “GentleApes, our minions have been hard at work and have reported back on something truly astonishing.” Charles let out a big white smoke cloud and shifted his stare across the room, intently looking at all the gathered Apes. “We knew that Doork East had something special when we moved our operations here, but we did not expect news of this magnitude! It seems that the depths of the cave systems at Melendez Way hide something historical, something related to our ancestors”. The eyes of Charles widened as he continued to speak. “The Greens” have managed to find a sealed off cave in a very remote part of the caverns. A craft is located there, and it is not one of ours. Searching the craft, “The Greens” discovered ancient documents, tomes and schematics that indicated something very special indeed.” With that said, Charles was reaching under the table and pulled up a stack of odd-looking papers. He then proceeded to carefully lay them out on the table. At this point the other gathered Apes stood up from their seats to get a better view. The group consisted of only alien Apes who lived within Doork East. They were Ansley Lavigne, Darwin Baldwin, Remington Monet and Florimond Brown. After the group had time to get a better look at the papers Charles began to speak again. “What you see here are the remnants of legends. I have been spending the day studying these papers and we are now quite sure we have been able to comprehend their essence. A long time ago, aliens unknown

to us came to this place. They had tracked anomalies in the gravitational field of Doork East and had found a way to open portals to a parallel world that interwove with the branes of this world. We do not know what became of our brethren Apes, as no evidence of them can be found. We have, however, discovered several clues. Firstly, we have the schematics to build the device for opening the portal. Secondly, it tells the story of a parallel world that these Apes had previously visited, and thirdly it tells the tale of a hidden relic in this world belonging to the alien race. We do not know what it is, but it is apparent that it was very important to our ancient kinsapes.” A gasp went through the room as Charles relayed the information. Frantic discussions immediately commenced among the other Apes as to what the significance of this discovery was. To silence the room Charles started tapping his cane to the side off the table. Silence fell again as the Apes shifted their attention to the leader of the group. “You were gathered here today, not to debate the way forward, but to execute on my orders. Young Florimond, you will be assigned to decipher the schematics and build the device we need to open this portal. Ansley and Darwin, you will try to understand as much as you can about this other world. Be sure that we are travelling there as soon as possible! Remington and I will dwell deeper into the lore and see if we can gather more information attaining to this relic that is mentioned.” With that, Charles stumped his cigar in a nearby ashtray and adjourned the meeting. Before the Apes were allowed to go, he gave one final warning. “Surely, it goes without saying that this information stays in this room. Any Apes that find out will need to be dealt with.” After this final caution from Charles, the Apes ventured out through a side corridor of 120 Mornington Road and surfaced on 122 Mornington Road, some way away from Doork East Baank. Having infused the quartz crystals with element 115, Florimond felt right proud of himself. It really should have been clear from the start. Making those high energy machines had been a waste of time, and he had also been scorned by DEAC, quite harshly in his opinion. All that was history now though, as he was standing outside in the forests of Melendez Way waiting for the

other aliens with his newly crafted devices in hand. Florimond did not have to wait long, as a regal cart pulled by four horses approached the cleaning in the forest. The other four members of the team climbed out of the litter and joined the craftsman Ape. As they were walking towards the cavern system several of “The Greens” were appearing as if out of nowhere to guide the group towards the right entrance. Before starting their spelunking, Charles cleared his throat and started to speak to the group. “Friends, this is a potential turning point in our history. We have to rely on the portals opening and we have to hope we are not facing hostility on the other side. Stay vigilant fellow Apes!” With these words “The Greens” led the now vigilant Apes into the depth of the caves. It was a long walk in the dark and damp underground, but “The Greens” were well versed with the terrain and managed to guide the group to the place where the craft had been located. The caverns opened up into a great hall in this place. It was difficult to see the real dimensions of the hall due to the darkness, but it could easily store a huge flying craft and still have room for more. The aliens could sense that this place was special, it was as if the electricity was flowing through the air in this room. Of course, they had been here before to test out Florimond’s devices, but this time it felt different. They had enhanced portal devices, and now it was serious. As Florimond was handing out devices to the other four Apes he was briefing them on how to operate the application. It was important that each of them aimed directly at the centre of the room. If his calculations were correct, this would separate the branes and open up the portal that was described in the document of the ancient aliens. As the five Apes powered up their devices, “The greens” scattered away, only leaving the DEAC Apes in the hall. Each of the Apes steered their beams to the centre and the ground started shaking. Previously this was all they had managed, but now a small white stripe appeared in the middle of nowhere. As the intensity of the beams kept getting stronger, the white stripe opened up and turned into a blue wall in the middle of the air. The Apes slowly powered

down their devices and to their satisfaction, the portal remained stable. Charles lit up a fresh cigar as he triumphantly declared victory on the first path to the unknown.

As Charles was speaking, the other Apes kept in the background remaining perfectly still in anticipation of what would come next.

The aliens had already planned out the details and would all step into the portal to see what this unknown place on the other side was like. Their research had not given any conclusive indications as to what they would expect, but they knew as much as there would be Apes in the place, and that most of them would likely be friendly.

Moving slowly forward, the group of hooded Apes approached the Doork aliens. After what seemed a long pause the robed creature in front slid his hood back and gave a deep bow. “We have been expecting you. Welcome to the Daark monastery.” Removing the garment from his head the creature revealed the appearance of an Ape. Somewhat different body structure and colour, but very much like the alien Apes from Doork East.

Lights were pulsing and electricity was sparking off when the Apes in unison climbed into the portal. After a few steps the colours seemed to vane and the Apes could spot contours of shapes and space looking forward. A few seconds later all the colours were all but gone and the fabric of time and space had yet again solidified on the other side.

Illustration: Théo Best (Crispy)

travelled through time and space and hail from a place called Doork East. Say, do you speak our language? Do you understand what I am saying?”

The introductions had been performed and the aliens were taken away from the hall and up a set of spiral stairs to what appeared to be a courtyard. The first thing that could be seen was an impressive orchard with blossoming fruit trees. The yard was surrounded on each side by walls and towers, all white in colour and probably more than 30 feet high. Several other Apes in robes seemed to be working in the garden. Some were weeding out flower beds while others seemed occupied with picking fruits from the trees. The alien Apes received cordial bows from each of the local Apes as they were passing by. Moving past the yard the Apes were taken up yet another stair. This stair led to what resembled a clock tower on the very top of the monastery. At the very top of the stairs, the aliens were met with a breathtaking view.

The Apes were surprised to find themselves in a majestic hall. The size of this place was somewhat the same as in the caves, but this place had so much more. There were great stone arches holding up the ceiling, and unlike the caves back home, this room was lit up by the sun peering through niches set up along the periphery. Charles, being the first Ape in the line, noticed something else in the room. Three hooded creatures wearing robes were standing perfectly still, watching the spectacle of Apes coming through the portal. Charles immediately raised his hands to signal the creatures that the alien group posed no danger. After a short pause he spoke in a clear voice. “Greetings to you fellow beings. We have

The monastery was situated on the peak of

Illustration: Théo Best (Crispy)

a mountain with steep cliffs dropping what appeared to be at least 400 feet on each side. Directly beneath the plateau a city could be seen. There were cabins and chateaus as well as a plethora of larger buildings and landmarks. Further towards the horizon, lakes and mountains were outlined against the blue of the sky. It was a magnificent view for the alien Apes.

As the Doork Apes were soaking in the atmosphere they approached the tower at the very top of the yard. They were carefully ushered inside and immediately realised that this must be the most important room of the monastery. Marvellous Ape paintings were hung on the walls and relics were displayed in stands and on tables across the room. Standing against the wall on the far side with the back turned, the alien Apes could see a thin scrawny

of course had not been to this place before. “Thank you for your warm welcome”, Charles managed. “We are delighted to visit you here at your fine monastery, but we must clarify that we indeed have not been to this place before.” The Abbot gave a new smile and explained that the monks of the monastery had been able to see the activities of the last months from the brane rifts at their side. He further explained that Apes had been visiting them for many centuries in the past and they had fruitful commerce and collaboration between the worlds. For reasons unknown also for the monks, the visits had stopped abruptly, and they were sad to miss their connections with this other world.

looking Ape peering out the window with his hands on his back. As they approached the Ape he turned around and gave the aliens a warm smile and a bow. “Welcome to our humble abode here in Daark monastery. I am the Abbot here, and we have been waiting a long time for you to come back.” Charles and the aliens were taken aback as they

Their beer brewing especially had suffered as they could not get the wheat to grow as well on this side. It was therefore with great excitement and anticipation the monks followed the recent events. It meant that they finally could interact again and were hoping for good collaborations. After the introductions the alien Apes were invited to a feast prepared by the monks. They were served succulent honey glazed roast pig with fresh carrots and onions from the

gardens. The monks had selected the best ciders and beers from their cellars to celebrate this joyous occasion. The aliens with Charles in front declared that they would help the monks get all the wheat they required from Doork East. During the table conversations the aliens had learned that the Daark monks were able to source an impressive array of metals and raw materials that they could pay for the wheat with. This had further piqued the interest of Florimond in particular as he heard they could source calcium carbonate, a very important material for craft mechanics of the aliens. Many hours of good food, drink, and conversations later, the aliens felt it was time to head back to Doork East. Charles had pressed the matter of secrecy on this discovery as utmost important. They did not just want anyone to venture into this world and strike their own deals with these Apes. As a token of appreciation from the monks, the Doork Apes were given a piece of tech from an ancient alien craft that had been in the monks’ possession for centuries. They did not know what it was for, but the writings of their ancestors had said that this equipment was important to the early visitors. It looked like a metallic cross measuring more than 8 feet from end to end. None of the aliens knew what this equipment was for, but decided that they needed to bring it back for further research. The monks said their goodbyes and helped the aliens carry the strange equipment back down to the hall where the portal was located. At this point it quickly became apparent that there would be a problem. The portal was only approximately 5 by 5 feet in diameter, the equipment would not fit. Brainstorming the issue, all the aliens agreed that they would need to recalibrate their portal device to somehow make it bigger. Florimond had explained that infusion of element 115 in the quartz made it possible to focus the energy even higher, so if they aimed the device at the portal and held it for a long time it should allow for a larger opening. The aliens did just that, and as they were holding, the ground started shaking violently, electric sparks were flying from the portal and small blue dots

were forming in the air. It seemed to be working though, the portal was getting wider by the second. After some time, the aliens lowered their devices and were content to see that the portal had now widened to almost twice the size. So, with that being done the five Doork aliens went back through the hole carrying with them their device. They were very content with the undertakings of the day. Later that same day: Visitors to the clock museum at Melendez were seen running out in droves as several odd looking white and green horses had been spotted all of a sudden between the clocks. One terrified Ape even claimed he saw a two headed bull in the restrooms. While sneaking into the arcane and occult section of the vast library at Doork East university, a poor student Ape was sure that he had unwittingly summoned a portal to hell by mistake as he was rehearsing incantations in a particularly interesting tome. Blue lights and odd noises suddenly appeared on the wall. The grimoire was dropped in an instance and the Ape ran as fast as he could to the Chancellor’s office to seek redemption and aid. At the centre of Mason court all traffic had come to a halt as a giant hole had appeared in the middle of the road. Apes had reported sparks coming off the ground and had heard loud growling noises from the earth. No one knew what was going on. Merchant Garfield Ventucci was tending to his wares when he heard a violent ruckus from his sub basements. He knew he had one zombie down there somewhere, but if going by the sound, it now seemed to be more than twenty of them in the same general area. Garfield was not sure what he thought about this. A frantic Osmin Baldwin was tending to his latest sales as he suddenly realised that a four eyed fish was trying to nibble at his toes. On closer inspection it seemed his lobby was now flooded, and water was pouring in from nowhere. Osmin did not like this and immediately went to Victoria Grove town hall to complain.

The Daark Portal of Melendez Way Author: Toggen

Illustration: Amans Best

Garfield Ventucci was sitting behind his desk at his shop in Melendez Way counting the profits of the day. With a grin on his face, he concluded that it was yet another lucrative day trading everything from non-existent penguins to used earwax. It was the usual grind, and Mr. Ventucci took great pride in making every day a successful day trading wise. A good day would call for celebration, and as usual a glass of wine seemed an appropriate way to relax for an hour or so. Just as he was about to get up from his seat to pour a glass of red Scholnag Dark, a very loud sound came from the basement somewhere. Strange, Garfield thought while strolling over to the decanter to pour the refreshment in his glass. Just before he could get there, another loud sound came from below. This time the sound was followed by violent shaking, knocking over both the decanter, the wine glasses and several other wares standing nearby. Very strange, the Ape thought while he was scrambling to save further of his wares from shattering. Sometimes, the zombie that was trapped in the sublevels somewhere would growl in dissatisfaction, but this was very different. The sounds and violent shaking would go on for a few minutes but would quietly die down and disappear. The Merchant Ape would brush this off as a random event and proceeded to clean up and prepare to go to sleep for the evening. Several hours later Garfield Ventucci was in the middle of a very nice dream where he was the sole provider of milk to the entire Society. The great thing about the dream was that he was able to pass off dog milk as cow milk and could pocket the difference. As he was about to count his gains he was suddenly woken by a violent bang on the door.

Not the regular knock of someone wanting to stop by for a nice chat, but the sort of banging that indicates someone on the other side would want to do something more substantial than deliver a verbal complaint. The knocking got even more intense, and as the Ape scrambled out of bed, he could hear a muffled noise from outside. “Arrghghhh! Get out here at once you bastard! I know you are in there!” Still dazed from just waking up, Garfield picked up a lantern and quickly moved to the front of the cabin to get a closer look at what was going on. “Who is on the other side?” He said with a sleepy voice. “We are closed for the day, come back tomorrow”. The Ape on the other side would have nothing of it and was now shaking the door so hard that the hinges were starting to bend in. “Aaaaarrrhh!! I don’t care if you are closed. We are going to have a talk right now!” Garfield was now not sure what he would make of this situation and was walking over to his desk to get his emergency crossbow. Just as he got the bolt in the right position, the door gave in, and a creature could be seen standing in the remaining rubble, panting heavily. “Aaaarrrgg” the creature said. “Aaaaaaaahhh” Garfield replied as the two entities were now staring at each other. The view in front of the merchant was that of nightmares, it looked like an Ape, but was dark green. He had a rugged unkept beard that was going all the way down to his knees and the hair on his head was almost as long. He was wearing tattered clothing and smelled of something resembling a mix between raw sewage and coffee beans. “Remember me?” The creature spat out in fury with a murderous look in his eyes. “I guess you don’t! I used to work for you, until you locked me up in that basement. I was there for a whole year, you know. Eating only dried goat meat, canned coffee beans, and caterpillars! No shower, no news and only two books on East and West Brud botany to keep me entertained for a whole year!”

If Garfield Ventucci was known for one thing, it was how to turn a disadvantageous situation into a profitable one. The gears in the head of the merchant were running fast as he thought of a way to defuse this situation, and hopefully even turn it into a profitable discussion. Before he spoke, he would make a point of it to straighten his glasses and squint his eyes to get a better look. “Toussaint? Is that you?” Garfield would now blurt out while giving his customary merchant smile. “How is the inventory going? I was hoping you were finished soon; we have big things ahead of us.” The rugged furious Ape that was standing in the door was now taken somewhat aback as he did not anticipate seeing a smiling Ape in front of him. “You bastard!” The green Ape managed as he pointed a shaking finger at the merchant. “You didn’t think of checking up on me for all that time. You did not think it would be strange that I would not come back up for closing hours for a whole year??” “Well, to tell you the truth I thought you were just very busy and were taking your job very seriously. After all, there are a lot of wares in the lower sublevels to count. And, as you are a zombie, I figured you just liked being down there in the dark. Anyway, you have managed to accrue a very nice little bonus for work well done. The money has even been re-invested in wares and now sits at more than 50 000 $SOCIETY! Good job lad, now you better go home and get cleaned, as we have much work to do. Pray tell though, how you came to the front door and not through the door from the basement?” The zombie, Toussaint Maddock, was still shaking with fury but was now even more confused. Much could be said for the zombies, they were hard working and loyal, but perhaps not the brightest stars in the sky. Apes across society attributed it to the reanimation process and loss of usable brain cells. “50 000 $SOCIETY?” The Ape’s mouth could be seen opening and closing while the prospect of large amounts of money was being processed by his mind. “Why, that would get me a whole cottage for

myself, and plenty of extra to spare on food and clothing.” “Why, that is very much correct, ‘’ Garfield said with a friendly smile. “Of course, the money is locked up in certain ventures here and there, but I promise to pay you in instalments each month, provided you will still work for me of course. It would perhaps be difficult to find you if you did not come in daily to perform some work.” Garfield now felt that he had the upper hand and proceeded to lower his crossbow and open a desk drawer. He then pulled out the amount of 1 000 $SOCIETY in the smallest bills he could find and fanned it out while nodding with encouragement to the zombie. “Since you did such a good job on the inventory down there, I will give you a bonus payment of 1 000 $SOCIETY, what do you say, take the money and get some rest?” This was too much for the zombie. His eyes crossed and darted back and forth before he slumped down on a chair and seemed to be completely deflated. “So much money.” Was all the zombie managed before the merchant again interrupted. “Say, tell me what happened down there. What was all the noise and shaking about?” After a minute of absently staring out in the room, Toussaint Maddock had again regained some composure and would tell his story of how he got out. There was a flash of light and then the shaking started. The shelves were in disarray and everything from crookery to weapons were floating around in the air for an instant. After the flashing stopped everything came crashing down and it was quiet for a while. It was then the zombie saw unusual things. Spectres, ghouls, pixies, and revenants were poking their heads in the basement. It looked as though they were emerging from a blue portal on the 9th sublevel. Some of the beings were sentient and Toussaint could have a conversation with them. It turned out they came from another plane. They had built a large dungeon in a place called Daark East, below a monastery. It was a sanctuary for all things supernatural. A thriving place where they could hoard their

treasures and be free from the harassment of the living. The creatures had taken a liking to Toussaint as there were no zombies naturally occurring in the dungeon. The Ape had gotten a few contacts and had been escorted from level 3 on the Daark side to the entrance in the dungeon at level 1. It came out in the monastery where the zombie had found another portal back to Doork East and proceeded straight back to Melendez Way. After hearing this story, Garfield Ventucci told the zombie to get a shower, a haircut, and some much-needed sleep. He had much to think about and needed some hours to process all this new information. Toussaint got clear instructions to come back to the shop in the morning though. They would have a lot of work to do. The sun had already risen high above the horizon when a now refreshed Toussaint Maddock returned to the merchant at Melendez Way. He immediately spotted a busy looking Garfield Ventucci in the yard with a paintbrush in hand and a slew of freshly made signs drying in the sun. “Ah, Mr. Maddock, you are just in time! I have had the most amazing ideas. We need to act right away.” The zombie briefly scanned his eyes across the signs that read everything from: “Need a goblin for a birthday party? We provide!” to “Don’t much like your neighbours? Ghost placements at a reasonable price!” “Are you saying we are going to get the creatures of the dungeon to work for us?” The zombie looked around with a confused expression and needed further explanation from the merchant. “We sure are! And we are going to make a fortune from it. Just imagine, we could arrange trips where Apes from all over society can meet a hobgoblin or an abysmal spectre. Do you have any idea how much Apes will be willing to pay? Or we could collect werewolf droppings and sell them as medicine. Imagine the mark-ups!” Garfield Ventucci was now in his element, and he had a far away look as he explained all his newly proposed business ventures. ”The

first step is that we need to go down there and negotiate some deals with the supernatural beast and beings. Since you already are practically their best friend, it will be your job to convince them. I figured we entice them into accepting meat that is slightly past due date as payment for their services. Well, at least the monsters should be happy with this arrangement, for the more ethereal inclined species we have to come up with some other form of payment. Maybe we could invent some ghost money out of thin air? I am sure we will think of something. You know, my dear Mr. Maddock, I believe we shall be rich!” Toussaint Maddock listened to the vision of the merchant Ape as he continued to paint his signs and posters. It was clear that he had spent the entire night thinking out more than twenty different approaches on how they could make money on this new revelation in the basement. Though not too intelligently inclined, the zombie couldn’t get away from the prospect that this place might be somewhat dangerous to common Apes and asked if the merchant had thought at all about this potential problem. “I am sure it is very dangerous, ‘’ the Ape grinned. “And in there another profit potential lies. We just sell insurance to the Apes at a premium. We just got to figure out how dangerous it really is. That is your job by the way!” The merchant pointed at Toussaint and continued. “But how dangerous can it really be? You said yourself that it was only level 3 of the dungeon. How often has level 3 been considered dangerous? I mean, if you talk about real dungeons, we should at least be on level 10 before things heat up, and then we’ll just raise the insurance premium. And if they manage to get that far, we can also sell them a diploma saying that they survived level 10 of the dungeon!” Garfield was shaking his fists in triumph while he undoubtedly was already counting the profits in his head. It was going to be a great venture for the zombie and the merchant.

T h e U ni ve rsi t y p ort a l o f Bi rk b e c k Roa d Author: Toggen

They all knew it. It was practically common knowledge at this point. If you took the stairs behind the check out desk in the main library at DE University, you would get to a part of the study only accessible to faculty members and specially invited guests.

bowel control magic, as he rarely could be spotted taking a dump during the day. The key to the door was always locked in the drawer of the librarian’s main desk when he was away. Broderick Cataldi had been watching for some time, and each time the Ape went for his supper he would take the key from the door, put it in his desk and lock it with another key. Being an observant Ape, Broderick had also noticed that the librarian’s favourite food was honey glazed ham with roasted potatoes. Each time the university chef announced this particular meal, the librarian seemed somewhat out of focus.

The students had spent many late nights debating what sort of hidden knowledge had been accumulated in this vast and ancient library. Everything from hidden treasure maps, alchemy secrets to recipes for invisibility potions were rumoured to be found there.

Broderick had studied the menu and today was the day. Honey glazed ham was being served. The Cataldi Ape made sure to sneak into the kitchen about an hour before mealtime and steal a small sample of the food. Carefully he brought the treat to the library and hid it close to the librarian’s desk. The hope was that he would be distracted by the smell and forget to remove the key to the hidden library.

Illustration: Amans Best

No one knew what was true though, but all agreed that this off-limits area would certainly hold some very interesting knowledge. The first and main problem was that the librarian guarded the stairs. This ancient Ape spent most of his time behind his desk reading. It was generally only at mealtimes and during the night that he could be persuaded to move from his space. Some of the students thought that he had even found some special tome on

To the surprise of Broderick, it worked like a charm. For more than 30 minutes the librarian was sniffing the air and longingly looking at

the wall clock. About 10 minutes before the supper gong sounded, the Ape could not take it anymore and left for the dining hall. The key was still sitting nicely in the lock of the door. Wasting no time, Broderick ran to the door as soon as the librarian was out of range. He turned the key, opened the door, and quickly closed it behind him. What he saw next was an amazing view.

fast, he surely could make some money fast, leave, and no one would be the wiser about his little trespassing ventures. The words in the incantation were weird. “Nganmok Egaragituminum exterstium monthum”. Broderick cleared his throat and loudly spoke out: NGANMOK.

A wide set of stairs led down to a floor beneath the one he was standing on. It was a wide hall with marble pillars holding the ceiling. Rows and rows of shelves were set up throughout the hall. Each of the rows had a plaque with descriptions above them. “Arcane knowledge”, “Hidden history”, “Magick”, “Advanced botany” and many more interesting topics. The student felt a shiver down his spine as he imagined the immense knowledge hidden in this majestic hall. The most tantalising subject for the short time he had available was surely the Magick section. Broderick walked quietly down the stairs, picked up a lamp and proceeded to the shelves marked with the words “Magick”. As he browsed through the books, he saw interesting titles. “Gnome summoning”, “Necromancy for dummies”, “wand making” and “interesting incantations”. He picked up the latter and started browsing with great interest in the grimoire. How to conjure up $SOCIETY, now that sounded very interesting indeed. Imagine, just this one incantation and he would be filthy rich. No need to spend all these years in the university learning when you could just make your own money.

As he said the first word, something happened. The library started shaking and the books around him fell off their shelves. Lights appeared from nowhere and the very air started to flash. Before the Ape could say anything else, a blurred light appeared in front of him. It expanded and flashed as it manifested as a portal in the very presence of the Ape. At this point, Broderick could no longer take it. In complete panic he dropped the incantation book and ran as fast as he could for the stairs. Not for a second he looked back as he jerked the door as hard as he could, ran out and slammed it shut. Lost for words and advice, Broderick thought it best to play this with open cards. He had messed up and probably summoned some kind of demon from the depth of the pits, or maybe something even worse. He needed to go all the way to the top with this, and as fast as possible. Brent Monet, the Arch Chancellor of DE University was sitting behind his desk contemplating the latest tome related to expressive oil paintings. The Arch Chancellor prided himself on being up to date on all aspects of the fine arts and esoteric knowledge. As a well-respected Ape in the community, he felt that this was his duty to the greater society. As he was browsing through a most interesting article on compositions of colours, he heard a

The incantation was written in an unknown language. Broderick thought that if he acted

rather loud bang on his door. The chancellor carefully placed the book at his exquisite mahogany desk and proceeded to adjust his monocle. “You may enter!” he said in a calm and collected voice.

has been here even longer than the students and we have managed to pick up a thing or two. Let me reassure you that the content of the Magick section is all a ruse. If we could conjure up Society from nowhere, do you think we would all be sitting here, hmmm?” Brent Monet gave Broderick a knowing look, got up from his seat and walked over to the window. “It is rather curious what you say about the lights though, this is something unexpected. We must send some competent Apes to research this at once.”

A moment later, the door swung open, and an Ape that appeared to have seen all the ghosts of the seven hells appeared. The Ape was shaking hard, and his head was white as snow. His eyes were wide open, and his teeth kept clattering in a rhythmic march. Brent Monet regarded this scene a few seconds before urging the Ape inside with a wave of his hand. “Good grief, young Ape! What on earth happened to you?” At this point poor Broderick completely broke down and started sobbing in the presence of the Arch Chancellor. With a shaky voice the Ape told his story about the library, the incantation, and the portal.

The dining hall was packed with hungry professors and other eligible faculty members as the highlight of the day was about to take place. The smell from the kitchen was almost tangible as the hungry Apes salivated with knife and fork in hand. Just when the waiters were about to bring in the platters of ham and potato the anticipation quickly turned to deep disappointment. They all knew what it meant. The anti-gong sounded.

After getting this weight off his shoulders, Broderick was very surprised to see that the Arch Chancellor was still sitting relaxed in his chair. He seemed to consider what he had heard and was grooming his mighty mustache while lost in thought. After some time, Brent Monet snapped out of his trance and regarded the sorry looking Ape in front of him. “You know, it is rather remarkable that all the students who break into the library immediately go to the Magick section. What is even more remarkable is that they all seem to find the book with incantations on how to make $SOCIETY. Odd, don’t you think so?” Broderick looked confused, opened his mouth, and then closed it again without saying anything. The Archchancellor continued. “This institution is ancient, and be sure that you are not the first student who has tried to obtain hidden knowledge. The faculty

Disciplinary actions involving financial repercussions seldom had the intended effect on the professors. What did work though was the threat of revoking dining hall rights for an extended amount of time. Brent Monet had learned this a long time ago and had introduced the anti-gong. Failure to give their unwavering attention when the anti-gong sounded would lead to only porridge and water for an entire week. This was a horrible prospect for the many gourmands of the faculty. “We do have a peculiar report from the lower library.” The Archchancellor was standing at the end of the hall as he was resting the anti-gong at a table near the door. “It seems some kind of portal has opened. I expect that this event will

be thoroughly investigated immediately, and the results will be reported to my office post haste. There will be no supper prior to the report being issued. Is that clear?”

archchancellor nodded to the nearest professor indicating that he could ask his question. “Ahem, does that mean we can bring the supper with us while we investigate?” Brent Monet eyed the Ape with his monocled eye while reaching for the anti-gong at the table. The professor slowly lowered his hand, slumped down in his seat and retracted the question. “Any questions that do not involve stuffing yourself with food?” All the other Apes quickly lowered their hands. “Good, then I suggest you get on the case post haste dear colleagues.” Brent Monet then left the dining hall and proceeded to walk back to his office.

Several Apes raised their hands and the

There was some quick commotion in the dining hall after the Archchancellor left, but the general consensus was that this issue with the portal needed to get top priority, fast! Having to wait on supper was not a prospect that could be taken lightly. The whole faculty marched off in the direction of the library. Seeing that it had been a few years since the last time some of the professors had actually visited the place, the librarian led the procession down to the lower levels. As the scholars opened the door down to the lower level, they did see a giant blue portal pulsate between the shelves and books. “Well, I’ll be damned!” the professor of mostly forgotten deities said while giving his head a soft scratch. “Any of you have this as an area of expertise?” There was shrugging of shoulders all around. “Thorpe Brown is the professor of augmented realities.” the chair of perpetual motion studies suggested. “Well, he is not bloody here, is he!”

the librarian interjected. “Look, it seems that this, whatever it is, is rather safe. Why don’t we just draw straws? Whoever gets the shortest straw walks through the portal, looks around and comes back to update the rest of us!” The professor of mostly forgotten deities looks pleased with himself for suggesting this. “Safe you say? How do we know that it doesn’t end up somewhere horrible with pointy spikes or hungry animals with sharp teeth?” The librarian was not too impressed, and garnered some nodding of heads among the other faculty members.

tugging at the rope. Seconds later a screaming professor came backwards out of the portal. “Why are you doing this!” he yelled. “I was not finished!”. His face was smeared in what looked like gravy, and his hands were full of everything from turkey legs to a half-eaten wheel of cheese. “What did you see?” the professor of unknown technologies said as he looked in amazement at the gorging Ape in front of him. “It was the most wonderful thing. A pantry full of everything you could wish for. Ales and wines were lined up on shelves, there were cold cuts and warm food. A plethora of delicious cheeses and all kinds of delicious treats. Gentlemen, I think we found the holy grail of portals!”

“The way I see it we have two choices” the professor of unknown technologies said from the back of the crowd. “We either take the risk of going through the portal, or we take the risk of getting cold supper. I, for one, vote that we risk the portal.” It seemed this sealed the deal. Out of two evils, the latter constituted a bigger risk to the faculty Apes. The straws were distributed and a short while later the professor of forgotten deities was left with the shortest straw. “Bugger you all” he said as he prepared to enter the portal. The other Apes tied a rope around his waist just to be sure. The brave professor hurried through the portal so as to not lose precious time. Anxiously, the Apes waited for the return of the professor. Five minutes passed, and then ten. The other Apes were getting worried. “Should we pull the rope?” the librarian said with a concerned look. “He has been in there awfully long!” Most of the other Apes nodded in agreement as their stomachs started to growl more loudly. The Apes lined up and began

45 Illustration: Amans Best

New markets and new opportunities in the Author: Toggen

46 Illustration: Amans Best

real estate sector -Doork & Daark East

Dynamite sticks and water do not mix very well. Osmin Baldwin, real estate agent extraordinaire -Doork East, had this thought in his head as he furiously assessed the situation. Now he was standing waist deep in water in his lobby while some curious four eyed glowing fish was gently nibbling at his fur. Everything was soaked. From his Gictus supply of explosives to his many copies of posters with a picture of himself. Someone needed to pay, Osmin thought, and it will not be me! Not wasting time, Osmin half swam over to the door and was shocked to see that not only was his lobby flooded, but it seemed the entire neighbourhood had been turned into a lake. The lake did not look too bad. He could see plenty of fish jumping out of the water trying to catch the passing flying insect, but that was beside the point. With soaking clothes, the disgruntled Ape hailed a taxi cart and headed straight for the mayor’s office. To his dismay, no one had seen the mayor and only a few assistants were in the town hall. Osmin slammed his fist in the first thing he could find and demanded that the city would send a delegation to his house post haste to assess the damage. The now very nervous assistant scribbled down his details with a shaky hand and promised he would get back to Osmin as soon as possible. The angry Ape then gave him a growl and proceeded to exit the town hall. On the way back, it dawned on Osmin that this whole situation could perhaps be turned into an advantage. After all, lake property was really not that easy to come by in the district. Come to think of it, the central districts hardly had any lakes to speak of at all. Furthermore, where did all this water actually come from? Osmin had a lot to think about and was absorbed in his own greedy thoughts all the way back home. Due to the situation with Daark East, the city administration had been extremely busy for weeks. It was only three weeks after Osmin had raised his complaint that the mayor’s office finally managed to send a delegation to assess the damage to the property and area. A cart with five important looking Apes pulled up on the now newly formed shoreline close to Osmin’s property on Birkbeck Road. Before stepping out of the cart they all noticed that a lot of Apes

were working along the shore. Some were building piers while others were shovelling sand onto the shore to form small beaches. As the Apes stepped out, they were met with a grinning Osmin Baldwin who seemed to have shifted his demeanour quite dramatically from his town hall visit a few weeks earlier. “Welcome to Sandy Shores resort at Birkbeck Road ‘’, Osmin proclaimed proudly as he was motioning the Apes to view the swampy lake in front of them. “Could I interest you in a lovely timeshare deal on a beachside property here in this lovely park? We are almost sold out already! No time to lose”. The city inspectors looked at each other with surprise as this dump hardly looked anything like a resort. A tall Ape with a trimmed moustache and a top hat jumped into the conversation. “Surely, this unfortunate incident has gone to your head dear sir. No one would want to buy or rent a property at this place. The shores are full of weeds, there are biting insects everywhere and that looks like tar bubbling up from the lake?” “Minor details”, Osmin said as he was now ushering in the Ape to a small boat parked close to the cart. “This place has clear benefits for the adventurous tourist, you know. Exotic fishing of new species, live like a savage Ape for a week and of course the word glamorous camping cannot be used enough. We sent over some agents to Tasama City and Gocon City, and the rich bastards in those places have already signed up for plenty of timeshares. In fact, we are already twice overbooked and that is before the building has even started. The money is practically rolling in by itself.” As Osmin was talking up the property as only a real realtor could, the inspector Apes had found their way into the boat. They would then start to row towards Osmin’s partly submerged estate. Along the way odd looking fish appeared to be staring at them from below, and one inspector could even swear that one of them was oinking at him. The door of the estate was now too flooded to be able to get through. Osmin had made some makeshift adjustments to one of the windows so that was used as an entry point. Inside, there was a small dock on the staircase leading up to the first floor. “Follow me this way!” Osmin jumped out of the boat and gave a helping hand to the inspectors as they stepped out on the dry part of the staircase. “I want to show you something incredible”. The main office of Osmin Baldwin now had a little more than his usual desk and all the trophies and plaques he had bestowed on himself. In

the middle of the room a rather large blue portal was beaming at them, and it seemed obvious at this time that it was another portal to Daark East. “It was a bloody flooded cave on the other side.” Osmin explained to the inspectors as they carefully tried to peek through the portal. “It all drained into this place and ended up in the neighbourhood. Fish and all migrated to this side. The advantage was that once the water had subsided on the other side it was easy to walk through. As luck would have it, it took me to the poorer neighbourhoods of the Daark side.” The leader of the inspector looked at Osmin with a puzzled expression. “Dear Sir, would it not have been more beneficial if the portal transported you to the more civilised area of the city, hmmm?” “Most certainly not!” Osmin blurted out immediately. “It so happens that it presented an incredible business opportunity. It seems the policy on the other side is more of a real estate conglomerate setup. I should have thought of that myself before actually, but that is another story. Some of the wealthier Apes had bought up all the properties in the poorer districts and were renting out the cabins to the impoverished Apes. Now, the penurious Apes have to slave week after week to make the rent and will have nothing more to show for it than a dry roof. Well, I figured it was my duty as an outstanding member of this community to aid the fellow Daark Apes. Obviously for a small profit in mind. Well, regardless, I asked the Apes in their straw hats and tattered clothes if they would rather not own the property instead of renting?” “An absurd question” one of the inspectors noted. “Surely the tattered Apes could not possibly cough up enough collateral to warrant a loan?” “Aha!” Osmin said as he jammed both his fists on his desk. “This is where the business opportunity comes in. You see, Osmin does not have a brokerage license in Daark East, yet, but the benefit is that none of the Apes in that area knows who Osmin is. I do have a lot of more or less valid cabin deeds laying around, so I thought I would take them to the Daark bank and use them as collateral to take out a loan on behalf of the poor Apes. The less perceptive Apes in the bank asked surprisingly few questions, and I was granted a huge loan. I then proceeded to take this money and re-loan them to the poor Apes, who then could go ahead and purchase their homes in Daark East. They were very happy with this arrangement, and I was given a party and a nice plaque.”

“Bad move”, two of the inspectors said in unison. “There is no way all these Apes will be able to repay the loans, and you will be left with the risk as you have the deal with the bank.” “Well, old Osmin is one step ahead of you.” Osmin had now sat down on his chair and firmly planted both of his legs on the table. “I am of course aware of this risk, but the beauty is that the story doesn’t end here. Once I had managed the loans, I had the real deeds of the houses as collateral. I then proceeded to the DE Baank and got some legit loans off them. After that, I knew of this clever Ape in Burroont who could mix all these collateral deeds into a bond. We then proceeded to make this into a financial vehicle and called it “Daark East high yield extra secure enhanced fund”. It was easy to sell this bond to the financial Apes in Tasama City, they rarely read any fine print, and I managed to sell it to them for 3 times the original loan. I then had the money to pay the original loan in the Daark bank and plenty of extras to build out the new “Sandy Shores Resort ‘’ here in Doork East. The financial guys in Tasama City are left with the risk and the Apes in Daark East as well as the bankers very much look up to me. A win win for all” Osmin looked very pleased with himself as he was sitting there enjoying his little victory. “Well, the financial elite will not be too happy when the mortgages default.” One of the inspectors tried to caution after listening to the tale. “I hear these people do not take kindly to losing their money.” The other inspectors nodded in agreement and looked back at Osmin. Osmin now gave the inspectors a yawn as he clearly had thought of this as well. “You see, some time in the future when those guys find out, they don’t want to admit that they had bought bad debt. They will do the same as me, just on a bigger scale and then find someone else to buy it from them again. In the end, no one will know where it starts or ends, and I can rest easy and offer all of them some decently priced timeshares here at lovely Sandy Shores Resort. Again, a win win for all.” After the assessment of the portal and the flooded area, it was clear that Osmin Baldwin was content with the situation as was. There was therefore no need for the inspectors to take further action than noting down the changes to the area and the exact location of the portal. After a rather unpleasant boat ride full of insect bites back to the shore, the inspectors hurried over to their parked cart and proceeded to take the road back to Victoria Grove as fast as possible. Osmin Baldwin had once again turned things around and was now in full swing building up his timeshare resort.

Unlocking wellness

Gascon Green’s life-changing Department of Mental Health in Doork East Author: Bodidlee

Once upon a time in the town of Doork East, a man named Gascon Green found himself at the crossroads of luck and perseverance. His journey had been a remarkable one, leading him to this very moment: the opening of his Department of Mental Health in the heart of the community.

Gascon Green, a renowned expert in Somatic Psychotherapy, had devoted his life to simplifying the healing process. Through his successful private practice and influential presence beyond the realm of Apes, Gascon had built a reputation for teaching the future of mental health. He was also in the midst of penning a groundbreaking book, poised to transform society’s understanding of mental wellness. Perseverance played a key role in Gascon’s journey. At a young age, he found himself feeling sad, lost, and fearful. But fate led him to Integrative Body Psychotherapy, which changed the course of his life. This unique therapy taught him to form a relationship with himself, unburdened by past traumas, and to reclaim his freedom. Luck had been on Gascon’s side as well. As he opened the doors of the Department of Mental Health-Doork East, he wanted to share that luck with everyone who felt lost, unsure of what they were seeking. Gascon’s mission was not to fix people, but to show them that they were not broken. With open arms, Gascon Green invited the people of Doork East to seek help, ask questions, and learn from his experiences. He believed in the power of luck and perseverance, and wanted to share it with those who needed it most. His Department of Mental Health-Doork East was a beacon of hope and support for the community. By offering a wide range of services, Gascon aimed to make mental health accessible to everyone. He accepted $SOCIETY and $ADA as payment options, ensuring that more people could benefit from his guidance and expertise. As the days went by, the people of Doork East began to discover the profound impact of Gascon’s work on their lives. They found solace, understanding, and the tools they needed to heal and grow. Gascon Green became a beloved figure in the town, a testament to the transformative power of luck, perseverance, and empathy. And so, the story of Gascon Green and his Department of Mental Health-Doork East unfolded. As he continued to change lives, one person at a time, Gascon’s legacy grew. His dedication and passion for mental health inspired countless others to embark on their own journeys of self-discovery and healing, proving that a little luck and a lot of perseverance can indeed work wonders. DMHDoork-East is a therapeutic private practice providing real world psycho-educational tools with a web3 branch located at 61 Martin Lane, DE92 Z83, Doork East. Contact: on Discord @Bodidlee#4119 (ID: 845545284314071050) or on Twitter @TheBodidlee

Your rea l ity i s a co n s t r u c t i on and Tho r p e Brow n A s h ra m i n Do o rk Eas t Authors: Thorpe Brown (@sfumato44), Emperor Duder (@EmperorDuder) and Cloud Hunk (@FurnishedCabins)

Not long after, he was awarded the title of “Professor of advanced and augmented realities” at DE University. This further encouraged him to create a philosophical movement that was native to The Ape Society, in Doork East. Louder than Heraclitus of Ephesus proclaiming that there’s becoming rather than being, he proclaimed the first native philosophy movement to an NFT project, The Ape Society by launching its manifesto. The manifesto was published and opened to discussion to The Ape Society whose members were invited to comment on it and sign it. The final version of the manifesto was signed by multiple members thus was born the “Your reality is a construction” movement in Doork East (see below).

Illustration: Thorpe Brown

After withdrawing from society and waking up from the constructed nature of our realities, Thorpe Brown decided it was time to share his vision with the broader Cardano community.

In order to consolidate the movement, Thorpe Brown, Emperor Duder, and Cloud Hunk, decided to join efforts and open the doors of Thorpe Brown’s cabin in Doork East to the public. His cabin has been transformed into an ashram and is now the center of Thorpe Brown & Question Reality DAO. If you hold tokens called “Your reality is a construction” or “Piece of Infinity”, you can access the ashram. The ashram serves as a laboratory, a spiritual retreat, and a place for meditation, contemplation, self-reflection, and experimentation. This is the first virtual ashram that is guided by an NFT author,

The first step toward this consisted of developing and publishing “Your reality is a construction”, the first NFT book written by an NFT character on Cardano. The book includes short reflections, one for every day of the year, intended to make you question your reality, deconstruct it, and reconstruct it, such that it serves your life purpose(s).

Thorpe Brown. Its mission is to facilitate reality questioning so that we dare to live the lives that we imagine, by waking up and breaking the spell of our constructed realities. The ashram is now a space where practical philosophy discussions, meditations, art, and library will take place. In addition, those holding the book and/or token,

will have benefits associated with the roadmap of Thorpe Brown. Learn more about it here: https://discord.gg/6qtN29dc A new era for questioning reality has started in Doork East and members of both The Ape Society and beyond are welcomed to join!

a Fr am e yo u r re a l ity A co nve rsat io n bet ween Thorpe Brown & Ful ton Monet Authors: Thorpe Brown & Upwind Strategy

And thus was Thorpe Brown on his way out of the forest to central Doork East, when he met an almost spiritual being with a deep, intriguing, and strong philosophical character: Fulton Monet. His monocle was indicative of the close attention he has been paying to the constructed nature of our realities. His simple appearance and presence led Thorpe to proclaim, as Heraclitus of Ephesus did after Anaximander: Everything changes in the rivers of impermanence! And our experience of the world is our brain’s best guesses of the sources of sensory information, based on our previous experiences. Fulton Monet: Good morning Thope! Congratulations on the success of your book “Your reality is a construction”! Reading this book has really made me think deeply about my own reality. I’m Fulton Monet, one of your readers.

Fulton Monet: Seeing so many Apes framing your book in their cabins, and being myself one of them, I was struck by a new philosophical question: “can you frame your reality?” Thorpe Brown: Interesting question indeed! According to the predictive coding theory of perception, our experience of the world is our brain’s

Illustration: Thorpe Brown

Thorpe Brown: Good morning Fulton! Thank you for your kind words!

best guesses of the sources of sensory information, based on our previous experience. This means that any experience that we decide to have will become our previous experience when interpreting the world around us. In that sense, experience is the frame of our reality. What we decide to experience, frames our reality! But what is an experience? An experience is a succession of impressions formed by a chain of events or occurrences. We have agency in deciding what the contents of those events are such that they facilitate the creation of specific impressions, and thus transform into experience. This suggests that we can frame our realities with experience. This means that you are in charge of the frame in which you place your Ape self reality.

your inner self. The frame is a sign that the work belongs to someone. Belonging, the subjection of the work to its frame, like the leashing of a dog by its master, the owner possesses an immense power over the work of art because he can at any moment choose a frame that could change the perception that everyone has of the work. We have the same powerful control over the realities we possess and we choose for them our frames in a more or less conscious quest. The realities we do not possess are more difficult to frame, but the very act of consciously framing them could be a powerful act of appropriation. Frame it and you will make a reality your own! Thorpe Brown: The artwork itself. Our lives are our art to create, our realities our art to craft. Would you agree with me? Whereas objective reality may indeed be inert, “our” realities are in a way our views or perspectives on said inter reality. As such, it is our subject experience of that reality what matters, which in my opinion is a construction that we can frame. And when we frame it at will and in full consciousness, as you suggest, we can change not only our views of it but we can also change the perception that others have of the piece of art. From your last reflection, I’d like to highlight the word consciousness. We have the alternative to have the frame chosen for us, or to become aware, to grow our consciousness, and through the present moment and in full

Fulton Monet: Thank you for your insight, Thorpe. If reality is an inert thing that cannot be changed, then changing the frame may be the last resort in the quest to change your overall vision. For example, if we don’t like our reality, we can choose a frame so big that what it frames disappears as an insignificant point. The frame changes our view of the artwork itself. By giving it a new context, a new meaning can appear and make the reality different. As the frame expands the artwork itself as an extension of it into another world, the frame of your reality is the link between two realities, opening up a third dimension towards

consciousness choose our own frames. Very much as William James, the founder of North American psychology said, “Belief creates the actual fact”, frame it and you will make a reality your own! But something fundamental here, which I may ask is… What is the meaning of “framing”?

seen? Or apply the same frame to all your experiences? Apes who do this should definitely be reborn and reopen their eyes, don’t you think so? I guess that constructing our frames demands as much an intellectual effort as constructing our reality, isn’t it? Thorpe Brown: Your very nice reflections make me think of the power of shared illusions. While they may advance humanity, they may also be a danger to humans. As Nietzsche puts it: “Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.” So what do we want to believe? What we believe should be the sum of our individualities in discussion and critical thinking, perhaps?

Fulton Monet: Our perception of things is an art in itself. The art of reaching happiness for some, the art of focusing on what matters the most for the others. I would add that our subjective experience is the only reality that matters as long as we have the ability to make ours the experiences of others. It matters also only if we can share our views with the world, sometimes consciously choosing bolder views to provoke the collective status-quo to be transformed. I would say it is not only one belief but the collective “Beliefs create the actual fact”, as we are influenced by the beliefs of others in forging our own. As for your question “what is the meaning of framing”, I would say that a frame is what makes it possible for different realities to exist in their own world without colliding with other realities. It can be used to make some realities more important than others, and even to share them with others in a respectful manner. In that sense, framing is as much an introspection as an extrospection. It is as much creating boundaries as sharing our own creativity and opening new connections. Could you frame an artwork that you haven’t

Fulton Monet: Yes, definitely, we should shape our beliefs in society! Frames are just a lens! Do you see frames? I see frames everywhere! Thorpe Brown: Frames, frames, frames! Love it. It’s all about defining the scope of our realities. I hope that this exchange that we have begun continues for many more years. It is our duty to question our realities and to choose, through critical thinking, their right frames. I feel that we’re just doing that. Fulton Monet: I hope so too, it will be a pleasure!

P i rate s P lun de r Queen of the Seas Author: King Ariste Cataldi

Illustration: Abezir

Let the truth be known that this is undeniably false. Wealth is but a mindset, and mine is well intact. What is true, is that a significant sum of my private collection of Cataldi Crown gold coins was plundered.

To Doork East Readers - By the grace of the Great Apes, and of all Defenders of The Ape Society. And to all to whom this present letter shall come, greetings from me, King Ariste Cataldi, and the entire Cataldi Guild (www.cataldi.io).

Recently, I directed half my gold reserves to be secretly moved overseas aboard my merchant ship, Queen of the Seas. Pantaleon Best, head of my privateer security detail, was amongst the very few who knew of this transfer. For some motive unbeknownst to me, because he was highly respected and compensated for his services, Pantaleon tipped off the pirate wretch, Military Officer - Bolton Wright, who attacked Queen of the Seas. A formidable battle ensued. The vessel was saved but Wright made off with most of the gold. Pantaleon has been imprisoned, but Bolton Wright is still at large. He and his band have sworn they will not rest until they

It has been rumoured in certain circles that much of my private wealth has been stolen.

Illustration: Abezir

legal tender within The Ape Society. Any information leading to the arrest of Bolton Wright and his band of pirates will also be rewarded. Informants and those seeking reward should contact the Cataldi Guild @TheCataldiGuild on Twitter; where updates and additional information will follow in the months to come.

have pirated and mutilated every last Cataldi Crown. This will not happen. My privateer merchant marines have sworn an oath of their own; that every pirated coin will be recaptured and recast to its original state. Some few may have seen these coins, as only a precious number are in circulation, and only as gifts to my dearest friends and closest business associates. Most have probably never heard of Cataldi Crown. They were conceived in private and held in reserve for a future time when a destabilisation of currency or civilisation might require another dependable form of value for exchange. At such a time, the Cataldi Crown would preserve the Cataldi Family, while restoring trust to a troubled world. I desire to have them back.

Cataldi merchants are as strong as ever. This personal setback, though somewhat embarrassing, has taught me a valuable lesson. Take every precaution to secure your valuables. As for me, following the events of late, I have secured my holdings with DE Baank in Doork East, whose vaults have never been breached. All the best in your respective endeavours, for this, is but the beginning, wealth is but an idea away, and we, my good Apes and fellow Doorks are ALL Cardano Royalty.

As pirated Cataldi Crown are bound to appear in black markets, a handsome reward will be paid to any individual who returns one to the Cataldi Treasury. Undefiled Cataldi Crown that remain in circulation were given as gifts and should be considered illiquid family heirlooms. While innately valuable, Crowns are not and should not be considered

King Ariste Cataldi

DOORK OF THE MONTH

Chief fire officer Tomkin Thaddeus Lavigne Author: Toggen

62 Illustration: Amans Best

Where would civilisation be without the characters who selflessly offer their time and commitment to the cause of bettering the life of others? Each hamlet, town and city have a few standout characters who are considered pillars of their local community.

Ape of faith and had the idea to start a mission in the area with the hope of bringing the Brotaw and Doork Apes together without the constant need of fighting. The results were mixed as the Apes from each district had little trust in each other. When giving sermons, Tomkin’s father had to place the Doork Apes on the left side and the Brotaw Apes on the right side of the church. Each Ape sitting closest to the middle had usually equipped themselves with bats as a general precaution, fearing a surprise attack from the other side at any time.

Of course, Doork East is no different in this regard and can proudly highlight several such Apes. Today we will have a closer look at our very dear Chief fire officer Mr. Tomkin Thaddeus Lavigne who is one of the most upstanding Apes in our fine district.

Tomkin was proud of his father’s work and would help facilitate the sermons and meetings each Sunday. When his father was preaching the good word and urged the Apes to cooperate and live in peace and prosperity together, Tomkin would always relate and could not understand why anyone would have it any other way. The Apes on each side of the room would also generally murmur and nod in agreement to the preaches, but the general suspicion towards each other was greater than what one man could change in a brief time unfortunately.

Kingswood Road is the northernmost street of Doork East. The place has its charm but cannot compare to the refined standards of the central parts of our district. Part of the reason for this is the constant onslaught of skirmishes that the Doork Apes in the area endures from the Brotaw Apes to the north. Nobody really knows what started this tradition of pranks and sabotage from each side, but the general consensus is that the other side has to come forth with a truth declaration. Seeing that Ape nature is highly vindictive, it seems very unlikely that this situation will be resolved any time soon. These days, both sides of the border have come to terms with this situation and have managed to take steps to counter the offenses of the other side. This is where the story of a young Tomkin Thaddeus Lavigne begins. In the early days of Tomkin’s life, his parents had bought an estate near the Brotaw border. Tomkin’s father was an

About a year had passed since the Lavigne family had settled in Kingswood Road. At that time, a rather unfortunate series of horse swappings was occurring on both sides of the border. The Apes would take the prime workhorses from the other side at night and replace them with lazy mules. When the culprits were confronted with the theft, they would blame it on arbitrary spontaneous mutation and refused to take responsibility. It was at this time Tomkin’s father held a sermon and started preaching about a divine Ape that could turn water to wine to quench the thirst of many Apes. At that point some of the Doork Apes loudly started to snigger and point towards the Brotaw Apes.

Unfortunately, this quickly escalated to a fullblown brawl with the disastrous consequence of torching the church down. Each Ape tried to come to their senses and would look for buckets and kettles to put out the fire. It was to no avail though, and the whole estate with church and all burned to the ground. Tomkin was heartbroken and devastated to see his father’s work vanish in smoke and would slump down and cry at the side of the estate that now was turned to ashes. It was at this very moment that Tomkin’s future would be shaped. His father would approach his sobbing son and while giving a warm smile would say this. “Son, do not despair, for each event has a purpose, as determined by the great Ape in the skies. We do not blame others for the events that took place, but just try harder in the future. A small setback is something that will build our character, and make us stronger. Learn from this, and see what you can do better, to help those around you. Always do good, and you will be greatly rewarded”. The words of Tomkin’s father stuck with him. The weeks and months after the event of the fire, all Tomkin could think of was how to make sure that such an event would not take place again. The conclusion was that he needed to think in steps. First, he needed to make sure that he would have control of the Brotaw Apes. He needed to follow their movements, and if there were any sign of trouble, he would alert the older Apes so they could be ready. Tomkin was a kind Ape and also a well-spoken one. These skills were leveraged to get other young Doork Apes to build small patrol towers along the border. He would align with his friends and make sure that all the towers were occupied as an early warning system for any shenanigans that would come from the north. The second thing he needed to put in place

was an irrigation system that would secure enough water along the border so potential fires could be put out quickly. With the help of local farmers and masons he was surprisingly successful in making sure that the irrigation channels on the border were put in place in no time. A nice little brook with some small dug in ponds would ensure the water supply was set up at regular intervals along the border. Tomkin was pleased with himself when he regarded the work that he had performed. Shortly after the water was in place, he also managed to get hold up as many as ten handheld pumps and several miles of used hose that just needed small repairs. He would again leverage his pleasant demeanour to get other Apes at his age to help him mend the hoses and install the pumps. The Brotaw Apes would regularly gawk over the border in puzzlement of what was going on. Some of the more prominent troublemakers to the north were not the sharpest of knives and could not for the world understand what was going on. It was only when they were planning a typical raid to deposit dog manure at hidden places in the park that they got wiser. One of Tomkin’s observation towers would spot the Apes with wheelbarrows full of manure in a back alley on the Brotaw side and as a warning would sound the alarm to alert the others. Based on the many towers, it was easy to see where and when the Apes were coming south, and thus the Doork were waiting in ambush, and managed to hose down the entire Brotaw crew, sending them fleeing back from where they came. The Doorks rejoiced and Tomkin was given the title of Safety officer at the tender age of only fifteen. The next few years Tomkin would expand his operation of overseeing the border to include other tasks. He would help old Apes with their garden work and pick up groceries for the

would be a problem. Well, one fatal night it most certainly did just that. The wind had started picking up and small embers from several fires along the border were caught by the breeze. Simultaneously, many buildings burst into flames on both the Brotaw and the Doork East side of the border. The watchtowers sounded the alarm and Tomkin would immediately run to the highest point in the area to get a full overview of the situation. Showing great leadership, Tomkin was able to direct all his helper Apes around to the smaller fires with hose in hand. He quickly realised that in order to get better control, the smaller fires needed to be put out first so they would not develop and spread. Within ten minutes all but one giant sea of flames on the border crossing was put out. The trading post on the very border had caught fire. Casks, hay and planks were an inferno. What was even worse was that several cries for help could be heard from inside one of the buildings. The path to the door was blocked by a wave of heat and collapsed planks.

NFT: Tomkin Lavigne (The Ape Society)

sick and disabled. If there had been a traffic accident, the Lavigne Ape would usually be the first on the scene to assist any wounded Apes or just clean up the debris that was left. Tomkin was so good at his work that the Kingswood Road council set up a fund that collected donations from local Apes, and thus managed to pay a decent salary so Tomkin could continue doing what he did.

The horrified bystanders could only watch as the poor Apes were trapped in the burning building. From a distance Tomkin could see the events play out and would run to the scene as fast as he could. When he reached the crossing, he quickly grabbed as many thick blankets as he could get his hands on and wrapped them around his body. Without thinking of his own safety, he barged through the flames, breaking the blockade as he ran. On the other side he could see as many as ten Apes huddled in a corner trying to cover themselves from the inferno.

At this point, all the Apes living in the vicinity of Kingswood Road knew who Tomkin Thaddeus Lavigne was. While famous in his local area, he was still mostly unknown to the city council and the higher ups in Victoria Grove though. One specific event would change that, and also secure the benevolent Ape his current title of Chief fire officer of Doork East. One year when Tomkin was in his mid-twenties the summer in the northern districts had been unusually dry. When autumn finally came and the weather cooled down, the grass and vegetation were still brown and dry. As the nights grew darker the need for lights in the fields was ever more present, the Apes did not think that starting a few bonfires to warm their tired cold bodies

Not wasting a second, Tomkin grabbed the Apes and covered them in blankets. He then sent them running through the now open path through the

flames. As each of the Apes had gone through, a horrified Tomkin realised that all the blankets were gone. The heat was getting unbearable, so he had to act fast. As a last resort he mustered all his power and started to sprint towards the wall of flames. The heat was excruciating, but he came through on the other side. As his fur was on fire he started rolling around in the mud. Luckily, all was put out and Tomkin survived. He received a medal of honour from both the Brotaw and Doork East mayors and he was offered the position of Chief fire officer of the district shortly after. As things would play out, one of the Apes that Tomkin rescued from the flames would be his future wife, Marie. After living together in a small cottage in Kingswood Road for a few years, they later moved to the more central street of Mason Court. It was good for Tomkin to have a shorter commute to Victoria Grove for his work as Chief fire officer, but it was also good to have a short distance to his beloved old neighbourhood at Kingswood Road. The job as Chief Fire officer was one Tomkin excelled at. Over the years he established routines that would see Doork East safeguarded against all kinds of hazards from fallen trees to unsafe passageways. He would single-handedly refurbish the fire station at Victoria Grove in his spare time, as he felt that the look of the workspace reflected the pride one took in the job. The years passed and Tomkin was content with his space in life. He would later have three children, all boys. Their names were Steven, Andrew, and Isaac. Steven was the oldest son, and he would follow in his dad’s footsteps. As he shared the work ethics of his father, he was quickly promoted to fire officer. He would also

have special titles and jobs associated with them. Steven could proudly call himself “Doork East chief cat rescuer” and “Chief hoser of drunk Apes.” Apart from that he was in charge of the physical training of the fellow fire officers, and they were often seen throwing big balls into fruit baskets that were fixed to the wall. Andrew and Isaac were much younger and were still in school. They loved the fire station though, and would come with their father to work as often as they could. They even managed to contribute to the efficiency of the department. It was often that the fire carts would be stuck in traffic and the fire officers needed to yell as loudly as possible to get other Apes to step aside. On a trip where they had joined their father, they had seen how frustrated he got when he could not make it fast enough to the incident. The solution was simple in their mind. They would set out to procure about twenty parrots and put them in a large cage on the wagon. When driving, they would cover the cage with a blanket. Next to the cage they placed another cage. This one had an angry badger in it. When they needed the siren to go off, they would simply remove the blanket from the parrot cage. When seeing the badger, they would make a crazy cacophony until the blanket was reapplied and thus the fire officers had a great sounding siren on their cart. Tomkin was immensely proud of his sons for thinking up this clever idea. To this day, Tomkin Thaddeus Lavigne and his family are firmly in charge of everything that has to do with fire safety and control in the great district of Doork East. The residents are incredibly happy to have such a resolute Ape patrolling the streets and making sure that they are safe from everything from Brotaw attacks to random arsonists lurking in the alleys. It’s good to have Apes like that around!

Bri nl ey Ve nt u cc i D o ork E as t bettin g ex pert Author: Toggen

During his early years growing up in the thriving central parts of Doork East, Brinley was very much determined to become one of the most prominent merchants in the district. Seeing other traders peddle rugs, chairs and gramophones was not in line with Brinley’s ambitions. He was aiming higher. Import of the finest wares from abroad, stockpiling the exotic items that would sell for an unheard of mark-up. That was the ideal life for Brinley.

the south sounded exotic. They were sure to have precious items there such as pearls, rare woods or perhaps even occasional gemstones and gold. The application was successful, and the expedition started a short week after the acceptance had been given to Brinley. With his backpack stuffed, the Ape met up at the designated muster point in Scholnag where a cart would take the prospective sailors further south to the sea. A group of twenty other Apes had signed up and the general mood on the cart was good. When arriving at the docks a caravel was waiting for them. The captain, a weathered old Ape, welcomed the crew on board and made sure all the Apes were shown around the ship. Brinley was happy and could not wait to start the journey.

Illustration: Amans Best

The Merchant Ape quickly learned that refined goods came at a premium, so to get anywhere close to his ambitious goals of actually acquiring them for resale he needed to take on some risk. It was at that time, purely by good fortune, that Brinley spotted an advertisement for crew members on board an exploration ship that was sailing to distant shores to map out new areas. Brinley immediately thought that this was his ticket to some great opportunities and made sure to enlist. All the advertisement said was that the expedition was going south to explore some far-off islands that had not previously been mapped. Brinley did not care, the only thing on his mind was that the islands and

The first week at sea went well, the winds were favourable, and the ship kept its course on route to the islands. It was on the second week of the journey that disaster struck through. A lightning storm was brewing on the horizon, it hit hard and splintered the main mast so that the sail came crashing down on deck. With no way of steering the ship it drifted around aimlessly in the storm. The crew could only hope that the weather would turn for the better, so repairs could be

made. Unfortunately, this was not the case. The weather got worse, and a giant wave capsized the entire ship. All went black. When Brinley woke, he felt a sharp sting on his face. A crab had latched onto his nose and was in the process of digging out the content before the Ape could brush it off. Everything smelled of salt and his head hurt. After opening his eyes, he quickly realised that he had washed up on a shore somewhere. Planks and other flotsam were scattered around the beach where he now was marooned. It took a bit of time before Brinley came to his senses. Looking around he could see that the stern part of the caravel had been washed ashore not long from where Brinley woke up. There was no sign of the other crew members. Luckily the provisions and water supply from the ship were still intact. The island looked exotic, there were palm trees abundant and colourful birds were flying around. The island did not seem large. Climbing up a tree, Brinley could see all around the atoll very easily. He did notice something strange though. In the middle of the trees, he spotted something that looked like a tower of sorts. It was quite high, and it had some sort of antenna attached to the very top. Curious, Brinley started to move towards the tower and immediately noticed a hut made from stone at the base of the tower. It seemed deserted. As this place was the only obvious place of shelter, the Ape proceeded to enter and saw some strange devices situated on a table at the far end of the space. There were apparatuses with buttons and dials as well as cords going out towards the direction of the tower. Brinley had never seen such strange sights and approached with caution.

static sounds came out of the device and shortly after he heard someone from inside the machine shout “Gooooaaaaallll”. At this point, Brinley panicked and ran as fast as he could out of the building and towards the shore. The first thought that went through the mind of the merchant Ape when he found cover at the remaining part of the old ship was that some sort of demon inhabited this island. Maybe they had already eaten the lost crew mates and were planning a surprise attack on Brinley? After a few hours, the Ape had moderately calmed down and started to think that it might be another explanation for the voice in the box. Maybe some very small Apes inhabited these islands, and someone had trapped the Ape inside this box? It might be that he needed Brinley’s help. The Ape considered his options for a while before realising that he was now all alone here, and it would be very good to have some kind of companionship, demon or not. Before going close to the building again, precautions were taken. Brinley had equipped himself with a helmet he found half buried on the beach, and he had also managed to find a broken spear that he could use for defence. In case he was really dealing with demons he also filled a jug with seawater and scribbled the words “holy water” on the side of the jug. Half a bottle of rum later, Brinley had mustered enough courage to venture back to the building. Spear in front and holy water ready, he tiptoed around the building to see if any traps were laid. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary so far. Walking just outside the door, he could still hear the static noise coming from the box. “Hello?” Brinley said carefully as he sat in a defensive position outside the door. He got no reply back, but the box was chatting. “The ball

He carefully looked over the equipment and started to turn some of the dials. Immediately,

is moving forward, and the striker heads the ball towards the goal. What a great save! Corner kick!”. Seeing that the box was not responding directly to Brinley he poked his head through the door to get a better look. Again, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The box was still talking, but at this point Brinley no longer thought an Ape would fit in there. He carefully went over to the box and again started to turn the dials. This time he managed to make the sound disappear completely.

his time he was frequently listening to the box of “football”. The teams were often the same, and the numbers that were given out before the game, Brinley had figured out that was the probability of each team winning. The Ape started noting down all the odds and all the results and would soon see that the probabilities given before the games were not always right. Brinley would write down everything on a sheet and keep track of each and every game played. After some time, he got good at it, very good. It was often that he would yell into the box! “No, the home team should give 2 in odds, not 1.9!!!” Brinley was more right than wrong. He got very eager and liked his statistics more and more. Sadly, no one was replying to his incessant shouting to the box though. That was until one day in particular. The room with the box and the tower also had some other equipment that Brinley never had managed to find out what was for.

As time passed on the lonely island, Brinley learned that the box kept talking if he turned the dials. It was only talking about a game called “football” and gave numbers and statistics about these games. It seemed it was neverending. All day and all night it was possible to listen to the talks. At first Brinley did not like it much. He was somewhat sad that there were no other Apes to talk to. After a while though, Brinley started to enjoy listening to the box. The game was exciting, and it seemed like a lot of Apes were playing it somewhere. Based on the facts on the broadcasts, he was fairly sure that the Apes did not have a lot of fur. Maybe this place was where hairless Apes were sent to cure their disease? It was confusing to Brinley, but at least it sounded like they enjoyed themselves.

There was a plate with a coil around it that had many strange looking wires and also an ice cream cone that was made of some kind of metal. One day when Brinley was particularly homesick and fantasised about a giant cone of banana ice cream, he stuck the metal thing in his mouth while he was listening to the box. Closing his eyes and trying to imagine the real taste he immediately got infuriated by something the box said about a particular game. He bit down on the cone and started shouting that the home team was guaranteed to win, he would give his fair odds and state exactly what was going to happen. The next thing that happened was that Brinley fell off his chair and nearly suffered a heart attack. The box spoke. “Roger that, 3000 on the home team!” Confused, Brinley stood up and opened and closed his mouth without a word coming out. He sat down listening to the match and everything he had shouted to the ice

Years passed, and Brinley was alone and marooned on the small island. Luckily, he had managed to salvage quite a lot of materials from the shipwreck. He had set himself up in a nice little cabin close to the beach and was enjoying a huge stockpile of banana liqueur that had stranded on the beach some time ago. Fruit was plentiful on the island, and for food he could easily catch some chicken like birds that seemed to constantly fly over the island. There were also all kinds of fish in the sea and nice crabs and lobsters in the shallows. To pass

cream cone came through, the home team won. Just after the match, the voice from the box seemed to speak to Brinley again. “Congratulations, your 1% cut will be sent shortly.” Brinley was again confused and did not understand. He was even more perplexed when seconds later the dish with the coils started making noises. A flash was visible, and when it died down, 30 whole $SOCIETY was left on the plate. The Merchant picked it up and immediately started laughing as he had made money from what seemed to be thin air. As the weeks and months went by, Brinley started giving his suggestions to the ice cream cone every time he saw value in a game. As he kept picking winners, the voice on the other side seemed more and more pleased. With each win, a 1% cut was beamed to the plate and Brinley quickly accumulated an impressive amount of Society. The Ape was happy, but really wished he was able to spend some of his earnings. The island was nice, but he missed his home district of Doork East. The amounts of papers and statistics were ever growing, and it seemed Brinley was being talked more and more about in the box. After he talked in the cone some voice in the box would start to advertise “Brinley bets”. It seemed they were being posted on a thing called “Parrot squawk” or “Sparrow chirp” or something similar. The money amount was growing exponentially as he became more popular. Brinley had soon accumulated more than 1 million Society!

could carry him and approached the Ape. “Need a ship Sir” the Ape asked with a calm voice. “Only 500K Society. Guaranteed good quality, will take you back to shore”. “What??” was all Brinley managed as he stared at the other Ape. “How did you get here???”. “Now, that is not important, Sir. The only thing that matters is that you have the cash and I have the ship. It seems a reasonable trade, don’t you think? Garfield Ventucci at your service.” The Ape with the cart gave a bow to Brinley and reached out his hand for a good shake. Without another word, Brinley walked back to his hut, counted out the money and handed it to the Ape with the cart. Garfield Ventucci gave his best smile, took the money, and pointed to the opposite part of the island. “There is your ship Sir. Have a good trip home. Don’t mind the smell too much.” Brinley looked at the Ape for a second and started running towards the other side. Indeed, the ship was there. It was a small ship and it smelled of dead fish, but Brinley didn’t care. He had a way off the island! In ecstasy, Brinley headed back to thank the Ape, but for some reason he was nowhere to be seen. His cart was also gone. Brinley waited for a few hours, but as there were still no signs, he figured that some sort of magic had occurred. The Ape collected all his money, the box, the ice cream cone, and the dish and set off to sail back to society. After some time, Brinley made it back to Doork East. He took some of his profits and bought a place at Betton Street in Doork East. Here he has set up his box and is running a very profitable business in the best district in the Society. Make sure you follow Brinley and his bets. He will be back in later editions to explain how he is making such profitable calls on this “football” business.

With over 1 million Society earned something strange happened. One day Brinley was laying in his hammock enjoying himself while sipping a refreshing banana liqueur. Half dozing off he could swear he heard wheels squeaking on the beach. He quickly woke up and to his amazement he saw another Ape on the beach pushing a trolley. He ran as quickly as his legs

Fa i r y Tal e s of Doork Ea s t Et h ere al w h i sper s in the la nd of the Ap e s Author: Toggen

From DE University campus at Birkbeck Road, a creek flows to the east. The sizzling waters snakes its way through an ancient forest of deciduous trees primarily consisting of Oak, Elm, Birch, and Maple. When following the quiet stream through the lush landscape, a beautiful grassy meadow opens up in a serene portion of this scenic place. As there are very few cottages this far from the university, not many Apes know of the location, and even fewer will venture to this place of quiet contemplation.

quiet place where he could be alone with his thoughts and enjoy a private day once in a while. Well, it so happened that it was less private than Mr. Wilson first had thought. The very first time he brought his lunch basket to the forest he could swear he heard laughter between the trees. Brushing it off as wind gently sweeping through the canopy, Blade thought no further of this incident. It was later that same day that he got the first real suspicions that something else was there with him though. After setting up camp in the meadow with a nice blanket to lay on, Blade would start the day by laying down and resting his eyes for a bit. With the sombreros covering his head to shield from the burning sun, the relaxed Ape would fall asleep. In his slumber he would dream. These three beings would be there with him, pointing at him while laughing gently. They tried to speak to him, but in his sleep, Blade could not understand. The creatures were small and did not have any fur. They were wearing clothes though and looked to be female with pointy ears. Blade remembered that he thought they looked beautiful.

For every rule there is an exception, and of course this case is no different. The Ape Blade Wilson works in the wheat fields a short distance away at Taylor Avenue. Every Saturday is his free day, and to celebrate he likes to take a picnic basket of fresh bread, fruits, and refreshing drinks to the meadow in the middle of the forest. It was just by pure chance he found this place a few years ago. As he had urgent business at Victoria Grove, he figured it would be beneficial to trek out from the main road and into this area that he considered a shortcut. On the way he got lost, but at least he had found this beautiful

After sleeping for some time and dreaming strange dreams, Blade would wake up seeing that someone had taken his lunch. His fruits

74 Illustration: Amans Best

red, and blue colours were woven in strings running from the center of the chimney all the way down to the ground. A wooden door appeared in the center of the flowery walls, it was adored by the finest gemstones and crystals. The emerald green lined the frame of the door while ruby red stones were scattered in small shapes across the frame.

were gone and half his sandwiches too. It was also noticeable that much of his cider had been drained from his bottle. The distinct smell of rose, honeysuckle, and lily hung in the air and gave off a wonderful scent that would linger for minutes at the camp site in the meadow. A few petals of flowers were placed around his blanket, but nothing else could be seen. Confused as he was, Blade would pack up his things and go home. For some reason he felt very relaxed that day despite his strange dreams and encounters. The very next week Blade would go back to the meadow to relax. This time, just to be sure, he brought some extra sandwiches seeing that someone or something had run off with his treats the prior week. He would go to the same place and use the same blanket as last time. Just to be sure that he would not leave hungry this time around, he would place his spare sandwiches on the blanket before taking his slumber. As soon as he had laid down with the sombrero covering his head, he had dreams of the creatures from last time. There was a difference this time around as he could make out some of the sounds. He understood the word Fairy, and he could pick up what he thought were names, Chloe, Faith and Ada. The fairies would take his hand and motion him to get up and follow them. In his dream, Blade walked and then ran after the fairies. The nimble beings were fast and would appear and disappear like a gust of wind riding through the forest. It looked like they were running in the meadow close to the forest, but it was not the same. The trees looked different, and the colours were off. After some time of half walking and running, a quaint little cabin appeared in a small clearing. It was a marvellous sight as the cabin did not look like the typical Ape cottage. The roof was decorated with all the wildflowers of the meadow. Yellow,

A minute later the cottage faded in the dream and all the colours were gone. The fairies were still there, but now they did not have the lively and happy demeanour as before, but rather displayed a sad expression on their faces. The landscape changed. They were now in a different place. Many Apes could be seen. They were pulling carts and machines. Saws and axes were flying around, and horrific sounds were coming from the trees. As Blade looked at the fairies, he could see tears coming from their eyes as the horrible sounds from the trees in the background could be heard. Abruptly Blade woke. His heart was pounding fast. What was this dream? As he regained his senses, he saw that the sandwiches on the blanket were gone. Where his treat was before, someone had placed a pie. It was still warm and smelled of lovely, sweet strawberries. The Ape could not resist the temptation to taste this treat, and it turned out to be the most amazing food he had ever tasted. It was like someone had sprinkled the pie with magic. After gathering his senses, Blade would pack his basket and blanket and venture into the forest. Maybe the cottage was real? Maybe he could trace back the location from his dream? As he was walking out of the clearing of the meadow, nothing looked like before. Blade would walk around a bit, but he could not see any cottages. Just the many great trees reaching for the sky. After some time, he would give up and walk

closed behind Blade. After that it was dark, and Blade fell asleep immediately.

back to the creek to find his way out. Just as he was about to exit the forest, he again heard the telltale laughter from before. This time as he turned around, he could swear he saw one of the fairies from his dream. He would call out, but no response came back. As he approached the place where he saw the fairy, he just heard some faint laughter and then only the songs of the many forest birds.

The smells from before were there, Rose, Honeysuckle, and Lily. There were other smells as well. Fresh fruits, wildflowers, and herbs. As Blade opened his eyes, he quickly realised that he was in a cage. The surroundings looked like the inside of a cabin, but it also looked somewhat like the forest itself. There were flowers everywhere. Green and gray moss covered the walls while butterflies and bees were flying around in the room. “You naughty creature you!” Blade turned his head slightly as he saw a beautiful fairy standing before him nibbling on one of his sandwiches. “Did you really think you could outsmart us?” The Fairy was giggling to herself while looking at a very confused Blade sitting in a cage in the middle of the room. “Not many of your kind come to these parts to eat sandwiches.” Another Fairy appeared from nowhere and startled the Ape. “Good thing you like our cooking!” A third Fairy said from the top of the cage. “Wh—wh— who are you, and what do you want from me?” Blade said with a low voice while swallowing hard. “Why are you appearing in my dreams and why am I here in this cage? ‘’ The fairies laughed quietly among themselves while the one on top of the cage said. “We are the fairies, the protector of the sacred nature, friends of the trees and the animals familiar. We live in this place between the worlds of your Doork East and endlessness. We have the names Chloe, Faith and Ada. We do not normally appear to your kind, but we are in need. We looked into your mind while you were sleeping and saw that you were a kind soul. We also saw that you really liked pie a lot.” The fairy in the background interrupted with a soft laugh. “You see, others of your kind are hurting the trees, they are cutting them down while scaring away

Home in his cottage at Taylor Avenue, Blade would think of his dreams and his encounters all week. What was real, and what was not. The lovely pie had been real enough, but what about the dream? As he was planning to go back to the meadow the following week, he would devise a plan. He would build a snare and maybe capture one of the fairies using his sandwiches as bait. Maybe if he managed to capture one, he would perhaps finally find out what was going on. As said so done, Blade built a snare that he attached to a tree on the outskirts of the meadow. A trigger would be placed where he put his bait. To make sure everything was set up correctly he would make some extra nice sandwiches with honey and cheese and some very fresh lettuce. No one could resist such a marvellous combination of flavours, Blade thought to himself. The snare was set, and Blade was pleased with himself. Just as he was about to lay down on the blanket with his sombrero the unmistakable smell of strawberry pie would fill his nostrils. The amazing smell mesmerised the Ape, and he would stand up and follow the scent. Just a few steps away a shrubbery was sitting in the middle of a small path. Blade noticed an opening in the bush and inside, the lovely sight of a pie struck him like lightning. The Ape ran over and crawled into the shrubbery to grab the pie. Laughter was then heard as a small gate quickly

78 Illustration: Amans Best

the animals. We can’t get them to leave, so we needed help.” The fairy on top of the cage said with a sad expression. “Will you help us?” All the fairies were now looking at Blade with pleading expressions. “I don’t think I will be much help to anyone in this cage” Blade uttered as he was contemplating what the fairies were saying. “You silly thing” The fairies remarked as they let the Apes out of the cage. “We just had to play a little trick on you to get you to our little cottage here in the woods. After all, only we know the way here, so it’s our little secret” After Blade was let out of the cage the fairies offered him more pie. This time it was a delicious blueberry pie that the Ape gobbled down in an instant. “If you decide to help us there will be more pie for you every week”. When hearing this offer Blade’s eyes widened visibly and elicited another wave of soft laughter from the fairies. “What do I have to do to help?” Blade asked as he licked his fingers to get the last taste of the delicious blueberry pie. “It is the easiest thing in the world, just prank the other Apes of your kind so that they stop ruining our beautiful forest”. The Ape looked puzzled again, as he was just a simple farmer and did not know how he could get the loggers to stop cutting down the trees. “I would love to help, but I don’t know how” was all that came out of the now deflated Blade. But as he said those words all the three fairies approached the Ape, and with a swift blow sparkled shiny dust into the room. The silver and golden colours hung in the air for an instant and soon settled on the fur of Blade. “This is magic dust” the fairies sang. “Now you have new powers, you will see that pranking will be a game for you. Now help us with our task and we will keep our part of the deal.” With these words Blade felt a rush going through his body. He felt

a clarity that he did not possess from earlier and with that, he fell asleep. Blade Wilson woke up in the meadow with his sombrero on his head and his blanket beneath him. Everything was as before; no fairies could be seen, and his sandwiches were gone. He was feeling different though. He remembered the words of the beautiful beings, and he was now sure that it was real. His mind was working fast, faster than before. He knew tricks all of a sudden and could think of more in an instant. He knew what to do, and he was going to do it fast. It did not take long. Blade came up with haunting stories to scare the loggers and would place traps and tricks in the forest to make the Apes believe the tales. Soon enough no Ape dared to enter the forest out of fear for the ghosts that lived there. Some of the loggers were also heard saying that ominous laughter came from somewhere in the very roots and canopies in the depths of the forest. Blade, of course, would tell even scarier tales to the Apes to make the stories stick. To this day, Blade Wilson has kept his powers of pranks that he received from the fairies. Every Saturday he will travel to the same meadow to have his little rest on the blanket, and every time he finds a pie right there on the grass in front of him. The lovely smell of Rose, Honeysuckle and Lily still lingers in the air as he sinks his teeth in the amazing treat that is brought by the fairies. Sometimes he can still hear the laughter between the trees as the fairies are watching him from a far place. It seems everyone is happy. The special little cabin in Birkbeck Road remains hidden as the ancient and sacred forest is watched over by the three lively fairies living in the space between Doork East and a faraway place.

Do ork s, R a ccoon s & a fine whiske y Author: Svenson

Introduction The Raccoons are especially tough little fellows. While half of the surviving species on the planet were unable to adapt to the resulting radiation after the tragedy, they did just the opposite. It is said that they quickly learned to use this very same radiation as a new source of energy, improving their physical abilities as well as their minds and consciousness at a tremendous rate! Also, their appearance adapted astonishingly fast to the difficulties of their natural habitat. That is the reason for the many different genera that we know today.

Lovely Doork East... my home, my sanctuary, my happy place. There are many magnificent landscapes to discover and picturesque corners within the city to explore. And the Apes who live here have a really special vibe. Anyone who has walked through Doork East and had a few chats with the Doorks will have noticed that. So whether you’re strolling down the bustling main street, Victoria Grove, visiting one of Doork East’s many sights, or simply enjoying the landscapes further to the south, it’s a great place to recharge your batteries and stimulate your creativity.

As the Raccoons’ civilisation and society slowly but surely developed, different groups of interest quickly crystallised among the Raccoons. Each one developed its own rules, beliefs, convictions, and values. And so it happened that 6 different syndicates were formed, which grew in their numbers very soon. But what happens when various groups with contrasting, but very deep convictions confront each other? Correct, it leads to conflicts, which in the case of the Raccoons swelled up very quickly.

And it appears that it’s not just us Apes who see it that way. Because a few times a year, a very unique visitor join us in Doork East, using our beautiful spot on earth to recover from the strains of their planet ... I’m talking about the Raccoons. Part 1 - Raccoon Syndicate & First Battle Round Are you familiar with the Raccoon Syndicate? The Raccoon Syndicate takes place in a world where Raccoons have established themselves as the new masters of their planet after a radioactive tragedy of interstellar proportions.

These competing syndicates are as follows: Tier 3 - Farmers & Hunters Tier 2 - Clerics & Scientists Tier 1 - Aristocrats & Procyon Lotor

82 Illustration: Kiama / Amans Best

As far as I know, it has now reached the point where they are even going into battle against each other in order to be able to decide which Syndicate will take over the domination of the planet. I remember reading in the newspaper yesterday that they call it “the first battle round”.

absolute best place to go for this is Garfield Ventucci’s small art supplies stall. There you can find everything you need... from beginner friendly synthetic-hair brushes to professional bristle brushes as well as a huge assortment of high quality paints for any kind of painting style. While I’ve never had any problems, I have heard weird stories of secondhand donkey hair brushes being sold at his stand... so better double check your wares.

But just before that first Battle Round, the Raccoons are looking to rest and regain strength in preparation for what’s to come. And this is where our beautiful Doork East comes into play. Part 2 - Raccoons in Doork East The charm and idyll of Doork East is apparently already known beyond the borders of The Ape Society. Apparently the Raccoons have become attentive to that fact. And so many of the Raccoons are heading to Doork East during the cease fire. Here they spend a relaxing time, recharge their batteries and stock up on various goods in order to perform well in the upcoming battles.

I was just about to go home when I had to turn because of some loud shouting. There were 2 Raccoons fighting over a few cans of Baked Beans, but they kept calling them “upgrade NFTs”. Why do they name them that way? I don’t know! But through their dispute it became obvious that they want to use these goods to build up an advantage for the first Battle Round. Apparently these consumable NFTs, used at the right time, can make the difference between victory and defeat. Now that I think about this, if they are that important, then I would probably take a fight for them as well. Anyway, in this dispute almost the whole stand of the good old Ridley Chiesa was knocked over and most of the valuable upgrade NFTs ended up on the floor. I wonder if Ridley Chiesa still sold these goods at the normal price or if they are now given away for free?

But especially in the first days, when the many Raccoons arrive in our peaceful Doork East around the time the ceasefire begins, they still have small adjustment problems. Living with Raccoons from other syndicates... does not fit with their nature. So, every now and then there are minor clashes among them. It usually happens on busy days at the market between the stalls of the traders, or you can hear stories that are said to have taken place late at night in one or the other tavern.

And something else strange immediately caught my attention at the edge of the scene. On the barrel by the old Ridley Chiesa, some lettering. I could barely read it from where I was standing, but it seemed to be important. He showed the lettering to several passing-by Raccoons. But why this mysterious manner? Well, maybe I’m drifting too far off topic here, too.

Just a couple of days ago I was able to witness a scene exactly like this at the marketplace.

In the end no matter if Farmer, Cleric or Scientist if staff, soldier or even general... What all the different Raccoons especially love about

I was there in the sunny weather to get some new bristle brushes for my painting. The

this peaceful spot of earth is its beauty and its tranquility. The little Raccoons can’t defend themselves against this feeling. And so, with the days passing by the arguments and fights that have arisen quickly, are ended just as quickly.

Ventucci the next day in town. He told me that one of the undead Raccoons had drunkenly told him about some great possibility that would increase his chances of winning the first battle round. All he had to do was find the “code” in the tavern. But he didn’t find anything, because as soon as he started looking closely at the beams of the bar, he forgot what he was actually looking for and went on partying with the others.

Part 3 - Doorks & Raccoons That this dispute was settled in the end was especially noticeable later in the evening, when the Apes and Raccoons had gathered at the Doork East Bar & Tavern (short DEBT) and already taken one or the other evening drink. That evening, I was also at the DEBT and, as always, enjoyed my favourite whiskey. I sat at my favourite place and enjoyed watching the scenery. The champagne corks were flying, Raccoons and Apes were hugging each other and singing their traditional folk songs. Watching from a safe distance behind the bar was little Crudford, who, as a sort of tavern labrador, is there almost every day. Right next to the bar, a member of the Procyon Lotor Syndicate was selling his home-brewed “ magic potion”...as he called it. And a Raccoon in an astronaut suit kept trying to get his hands on my good 18 year old Chivas Whiskey. Just another regular evening, when Doorks and Raccoons end a day with lots of good cheer and drinks. At the very back in the quiet corner of the tavern there were some Raccoons and Apes, who were not easily caught up in the cheerful mood. Most of the time they wanted to stay among themselves, exchanged serious views and then started whispering. I could not hear what exactly was being spoken there from where I was sitting, unfortunately. But as luck would have it, I met the good Junien

But I was able to spot it! Admittedly, it wasn’t easy to find, but when I took the last sip from my third whiskey, I could clearly see it through the bottom of my glass! In hindsight, I just wonder how those little Raccoons got up there!

The End All in all, it is exactly these days and these nights that make up the stay of the Raccoons. At least I don’t know anyone from Doork East who hasn’t already taken the little trash pandas firmly to their hearts. And so, in future years, we will most certainly be able to welcome our friends the Raccoons to our beautiful Doork East and offer them a relaxing time in which they can leave the stress of their everyday life behind them… …at least for a while, until it is said again: “Raccoons? Prepare yourself for the next battle round!” Huntley Cox P.S. I was told that the upgrade NFTs that had fallen from the stand of Rodley Chiesa at the marketplace went to someone who wanted to raffle them off among all the Raccoons. I think for everyone who is planning to participate in the first Battle Round, it’s worth to have a look at Raccoon Syndicate Discord in the #doorkeast-raccoons channel!

86 Illustration: Kiama / Amans Best

G h o sts i n Doork Ea st ? Author: Tranter Roberts

Do you believe in ghosts? Leland Smith doesn’t. More specifically, he didn’t before last night.

above his rooftop that cast strange shadows from the full moon onto his bedroom walls. Curious to locate the source of these dancing patterns he climbed out of bed. Peering out of the small steamed up window, Leland noted there was a low-lying mist hanging in

A new Doork East resident, his humble cabin

the air that made visibility hard beyond a few

is situated on Kingswood Road, almost as

feet. Hastily throwing on some clothes he

far north as you can go in the district. The

opened the door to take a better look. The

somewhat exhausting nature of his move to

bats appeared to be darting in and out of

the region from a far-flung side of the map,

some nearby trees and he edged forward to

has not provided as much opportunity as he

explore further. As he did, a light gust blew

would have liked to explore, and Leland is

across his face clearing the fog momentarily.

still very much getting his bearings. From the

His heart stopped. There before his eyes, was

corner of his small plot at number 50, Leland

a ramshackle house he’d never seen before,

could see the immediate property to the side

of some considerable proportions, set back

of his home was built in a similar fashion to

slightly behind a pair of wrought iron gates.

his own. Nothing out of the ordinary here in

Bathed in the deep bluish hues of the night

this quiet residential area to report… or so he

sky, the building oozed a thick white fog at its

thought.

base and a solitary bright orange glow emitted from the front left first floor window. That explains the mist he thought.

To say that looks could be deceiving is an understatement of huge magnitude. Over these past hours Leland has observed a flurry

Strangely drawn towards the warm orange

of eerie supernatural apparitions that shake

glow, Leland shuffled tentatively forwards

even a hardened zombie to the core.

noting a dimly lit wooden street sign pointing

Illustration: Tranter Roberts

in an easterly direction along the pavement, It all began late last evening, possibly just past

his heartbeats now ringing ever louder and

midnight, it’s hard to be sure precisely. Leland

faster in his ears with each pace. The fog

was alerted to a cauldron of bats circling low

was disorientating, and whilst still a little

unfamiliar with the layout of the neighbourhood

cry for help, clearly audible over the other

properties, Leland could have sworn the cottage

disturbing noises rattling around his eardrums.

over the garden boundary looked very different,

In ordinary times Leland would turn his back

not to say considerably smaller in the golden

and run for his life, but something pulled on his

sunlight of the same afternoon. Furthermore,

heartstrings, and he knew he had to assist. Fear

he was also sure the address for his neighbour

he told himself over and over, is just a state of

was number 56, yet the sign he now stood

mind. Who was he kidding? His teeth chattered

before, even under the patchy moonlight glow,

and legs trembled as he inched himself closer to

clearly read 52-54. A shiver ran down Leland’s

the open doorway. This was all a big mistake.

spine and he immediately regretted not bringing

He would never see the light of Doork East day

his overcoat. It was a good deal colder than

again, he thought to himself. It is all over. This

he remembered it being as he stepped from

is the end. But still he continued edging closer

his front porch just a short while and only a

to his impending death.

few strides ago. How on earth could this be Reaching the top step Leland was now standing

happening, and what was all that noise?

parallel with the chair, an ornately carved rather Leland had been so focused on the sound of

splendid piece of furniture, still rocking in full

his own beating heart, he had barely noticed

motion back and forth. To his absolute horror,

the orchestra of strange sounds he was now

he could now clearly see it was empty. Taking a

surrounded by. First, there was the repetitive

deep breath and closing his eyes, Leland took

wooden creaking and the slamming of a door.

one large step forward through the open-door

The breaking of glass sporadically interrupted

frame. He heard the door slam shut behind him

by muffled voices and guarded whispers. A

yet still his eyes were glued firmly closed. It

metallic clanking sound of maybe a pot or a

took a lot of willpower to gingerly open one,

pan, as if frantically in use in some busy kitchen,

then both eyes and he started to take in the

he couldn’t be sure. Then there was the music.

surroundings he now found himself in.

A strange string-based instrument he couldn’t

It was a dim candle-lit corridor decorated either

quite place, with long drawn-out notes in an

side with large oil paintings along the dingy

apparent randomly selected order. Finally, there

walls. There were Nobles, Military Officers,

was the unmistakable chilling sound of a blood

and many more. In fact, it was as if a whole

curdling scream. Leland had seen enough. It

family was pinned to the wooden panelling,

was time to leave. But just as he turned the iron

and each appeared to be watching him intently.

gates before him heaved themselves into life

Focus Leland, focus he said out loud. He cast

with a creak and slowly parted. Leland could

an absent glance sidewards and there looking

now make out the shadow of a chair rocking

back was the picture of an old Military Officer

back and forth on the porch, illuminated further

with one finger pressed against his lips. It was

when the front door blew wide open as a gust

his warning sign to keep the noise down, Leland

of wind whipped past his ears. Just as he turned

felt sure.

to make a hasty retreat, one more sound froze

Tiptoeing silently forward, he reached the first

him on the spot. It was a faint almost childlike

of several semi-opened doorways. The words

“drawing room” were scratched into the very

was the largest painting yet. A king perhaps? It

fabric of the door. Peering nervously into the

was hard to tell as the head was missing.

room, Leland could see a gramophone sat in the

Leland heaved his heavy feet up the steps and

centre of the darkened space, resting on what

could now clearly see the open door frame of

appeared to be an old rickety looking table.

the room with the orange glow at the far end

It was covered in cobwebs, but he could now

of the passage. Every sensible cell in his brain

hear the string instrument clearly, and could see

screamed “run”, “run”, “run”. But for some

before him the source of this music as it turned

unexplained reason, he shuffled forward. What

erratically, the needle jumping around randomly

horrors could be lurking inside was anyone’s

as it did. Otherwise, the room appeared to be

guess.

empty. Two or three minutes later Leland’s broad Leland pressed on deeper into the house

shoulders filled the door frame, offering an

towards the next door. He didn’t want to spend

unrestricted view into the room beyond. The

a second more in the place than he needed to.

vista confronting him was not what he expected

The text on the next doorway read “kitchen”,

to see. A wry smile crept across his ice-cold

clearly etched with a sharpened tip of a large

lips. The centre of the room featured a large

knife. This door was almost closed, although a

low-hanging coolie shade with a bright orange

small crack of light shining from within hinted

glow. Facing him was a single Ape, just visible

that it may be just slightly ajar.

between a semi-circle of Apes sitting with their backs towards him. “Texas Hold ‘em!” he

Getting close, Leland was indeed able to see

almost blurted out loud. Suddenly, just like the

beyond into the room behind. He had never

mist parting before his front door, the brain

seen anything like it. It was like a full sized

fog cleared. He now knew exactly what was

bustling large-scale hotel kitchen, complete

going on. It was clearly an illegal game and

with pots, pans, and utensils hurtling around

an elaborate hoax had been constructed to

the place but with one startling omission.

keep prying eyes like his own away. The street

There was no chef. Not only no chef, but there

sign deliberately pointed east when in fact he

was absolutely nobody at all to be seen. If the

was walking West. He could only imagine the

rocking chair had freaked him out, the empty

army of Apes working busily behind the scenes,

kitchen almost finished Leland off. He pinched

pulling invisible fishing wire, flickering lights,

himself hard. What kind of place was Doork

and playing audio through hidden speakers

East? What haunted nightmare had he moved

concealed in the walls. Not forgetting the smoke

into?

machine of course filling the air with plumes of dense fog.

Leland was now at the end of the hallway. Raising his head, as his eyes readjusted to the

Does Leland believe in ghosts? Absolutely

lower ambient light levels, his gaze turned to

not. Does he believe he’s moved into the most

the broad curved stairwell that lay immediately

creative neighbourhood on the map? Absolutely.

ahead. Centred above the first-floor landing

92 Illustration: Tranter Roberts

Unsustainable forces of nature Author: Toggen

To whom it may concern,

all of a sudden, the water was above him and the air was below. The rowing first became a

Over the years the hardworking Apes of

problem as the oars were only catching air. To

southern Doork East have had to deal with

get any traction he said he had to hold his oars

our fair share of problems. We have had forest

above his head and row them in the air, where

fires, flash flooding of our fields, and occasions

the water now was. Wayne complained about

of gopher and locust attacks, destroying our

severe back pain from this strenuous activity.

crops. All this we have dealt with in silence and When he finally had gotten to his usual fishing

accepted as part of life.

spot, he tried to throw his lures in the water. Now, with the recent events, we have had

Gravity would have none of it, and the line

enough.

with the lure would simply grace the water edge and fly into the air below. The worm was still

They say that death and taxes are the only

attached to the hook, and the birds were biting

certainty, but we truly believed that we also

though. Seeing no other option, Wayne caught

could count on the forces of nature to be

the birds that would bite and brought them to

stable! Apparently, this is no longer the case as

market.

several reports from Cahuenga Boulevard and Manor Lane have attested to some very strange

This is far from the only report we have

occurrences indeed.

received. Just the other day, the apple farmers in Cahuenga Avenue were complaining that the

Each morning, the Ape Wayne de la Cruz strolls

cows on the neighbouring fields were eating all

down to the lake on the west side of Manor

their apples. It turned out that the cows were all

Lane to haul in the catch of the day to sell on

of a sudden floating in the middle of the air and

the market. We heavily rely on his services to

were seen circling the apple trees up to 15 feet

provide us with this great source of fresh fish.

above the ground. They were using their tail as a propeller to move back and forth for heaven’s sake.

One morning last week, reports came back that Wayne no longer had his usual selection of pike and perch for sale, but rather strange selections

Now, I know that this area of Doork East is

of fowl. There were a few pigeons, an owl, and

known for providing substances to get high, but

some larks. When asked what happened to the

in no way are we considering this as a viable

fish, de la Cruz gave a resigned expression and

option. Some other chicken farmers in the same

said that he no longer could sink his lures in the

street also complained that their animals were

water.

terribly stressed.

As soon as he set foot in his little boat and

It turns out that in a specific coop gravity is

started rowing, gravity would act strangely and

playing such strange tricks that the eggs have

an extremely high gravitational pull while the

were hitting the bullseye and it was impossible

chickens have a very low, resulting in weird

to choose a winner.

consequences every time a chicken lays her eggs. The eggs slam to the ground, sometimes

More serious implications to law and order in

shattering, while the chicken shoots off in the

the area also took place last week as some of

opposite direction, on occasion all the way to

the more enterprising local butchers had found

the ceiling.

a spot where the gravity was extremely strong. They then proceeded to move their business

Naturally, this is a horrible situation both for

to that place and sold meat by the pound. The

the farmer and chicken, so someone must act

problem was that they charged the same amount

and get gravity back to how it should be!

for the meat as before, but now that the gravity was so high, the poor district Apes had to buy

It is bad enough that the gravity issues are

30-pound pork chops and 10-pound chicken

causing havoc on our food supply and animal

filet just to have enough for one dinner. Fights

welfare, but we have encountered other

broke out later as they found out that the meat

problems as well. The weekly farmers golf

only weighed a fraction of this when they got

tournament is now cancelled for the second

home to their cabins.

week in a row. We do not know what is causing these unusual A few brave Apes tried to make a couple of

disturbances in the natural ways of things, but

rounds in the evening but needed to give up as

we suspect it has something to do with the

it was impossible to get the balls to roll in the

aliens and their blasted portals to Daark East.

holes. The most avid golfers even tried to use lead balls for increased gravitational pull but

As representatives for the welfare committee of

unfortunately this was to no avail.

southern Doork East we demand that someone appropriate will act and fix this problem sooner

The only advantage that they noted was that it

rather than later. Who knows what will come

seemed impossible to lose the balls in the rough

next, maybe we all just float away into space

as they also would refuse to sink into the tall

with no means of getting back? We surely can’t

grass. The biannual archery tournament also

be expected to keep Apes on a leash like a

needed to be put on temporary hold as they

balloon just in case the forces of nature should

were struggling with the opposite effect.

cease to exist at all?

The gravitational pull on the archery range is

Yours Sincerely,

now so high that the poor archers can barely

Concerned Apes of Southern Doork East and

manage to shoot the arrow 10 feet. They tried to

Southern Doork East welfare committee

mitigate the problem by standing 5 feet from the target but needed to give up as all the archers

Welcome to

T H E BR OWN SOUP

GALACTIC TASTE SENSATIONS Menu 1. Zero gravity splendor. Special ingredients perfect for those on a diet, the more you eat the more weight you will lose. Ingredients undisclosed. 2. The blowout. Soup with a mix of the spiciest chilies cultivated. If you need a system clean out, this soup is for you. Do not consume if you are elderly or cannot run to the outhouse very quickly. 3. Nanoparticle surprise. This soup is made from the lightest materials. You get all the nutrients you need without knowing that you eat soup. PS. No nanochips to gain control of your mind are added to the soup. 4. The Alien invincibility product. A special mix of herbs, spices and metal parts are added in this delicious soup that will make you impervious to pain up to 30 minutes after consumption (Side effects include harmless bubbles coming out of ear for 24 hours). 5. The 13 dimensions of soup. Compound of very heavy elements. Slightly radioactive, but mostly safe to consume. If taken correctly string fabrics and wormholes should be visible for a short while. Do not order if you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. 6. The grandfather paradox. New particles with time diluting effects are added to this mix of rhubarb and tomato soup. After eating do not worry if you see yourself eating at another table. This effect is temporary. 7. Florimond Brown Special soup. Tasty soup with potatoes, bacon and vegetables. Whiskey and cigars are included in the price. No nitroglycerin is added to the mix.

A l vi n B e s t

a n d t he dis a s trous soup restaur a nt Author: Toggen

It was the grand opening of the new restaurant in town. “The Brown Soup- galactic taste sensations” had promised to offer free food to all Apes who showed up the first few days.

supply of beer had drawn a lot of Apes to his

Naturally, the word had spread far and wide,

on top of his fruit hat and then proceeded to

cause. They did not seem to be too interested in the alien threat, but at least they had come to all of his protests. The problem now was that they seemed more interested in this new soup restaurant that was cleverly set up as a decoy to avert attention away from their grand schemes. Alvin planted another banana turn his fan in the direction of the soup queue.

so hungry Apes from all over Doork East saw their opportunity to get a free meal or

A few eyes were raised as the spicy smell from

two at the expense of the elusive aliens in the

his grilled sausages spread through the air.

district. The line outside the new restaurant

The Apes had stood in line for a long time

in Wright Buildings was long. All kinds of

though, so while he received a few hungry

Apes had queued up to get their hands on the

looks from the Apes, no one came his way.

free soup offered. Some of the greedier Apes had even brought their own kettles and were

“Wake up, Apes!” he tried. “The aliens are

ready to bring as much of it home as possible.

birds; they hold no limits to their schemes.

One particularly greedy Ape was dragging a

Wear the hat, wear the fruit. Avoid the soup.”

cauldron behind a donkey. He was no doubt trying to score the jackpot.

Alvin Best flailed his arms up and down to

Across the street, the leader of Doork East

the Apes had other things on their agenda it

garner as much attention as possible, but seemed. “Join DEATH today. You will not

Association of Terrestrial Hazards (DEATH),

regret it. Wings of metal, danger DANGER!”

Alvin Best was standing over his barbecue

Usually when Alvin gave his passionate

with a worried expression as he stuffed

speeches, Apes would gather around. Alvin

another sausage into his mouth. Earlier his

was sure that it was his winning personality

smokey barbecue delights, as well as his vast

Illustration: Amans Best

and crushing arguments that led to the crowd,

anticipation. All the chef managed to say from

but a more neutral spectator might argue

his scroll was “Dear Aaaaapppees…’’ as the

that the allure of sausages, beer and free

onslaught of the queued-up Apes trampled

entertainment was the real reason. Regardless

inside for a good position close to the free

of what drew the crowd, Alvin was sure in his

sustenance. Even the band on the inside of

conviction. The advent of the aliens in Doork

the restaurant had to flee to make room for

East was not good for anyone.

the ever-expanding barrage of Apes trying to squeeze themselves into the place. Across the

First, they had erected strange machines in

street, Alvin Best watched closely as he was

the district and then he had witnessed several

taking notes. Clearly this was some kind of

aliens gathering at locations on Mornington

scheme from the aliens to destabilise the Apes

Road. Whatever they were planning it was big,

in the district. Alvin removed another sausage

that was Alvin’s opinion anyway! It was a good

from the grill and took a big bite. He would not

thing that he had his multicoloured jacket. The

be tempted by this alien ruse.

parrots had told him that the aliens could not see him when it was activated. This was a huge

As the poor Apes behind the counter started

advantage as he could sneak up on the pesky

pouring in the free soup it did not take long

aliens and listen in on anything that he might

before events inside the restaurant turned for

find interesting.

the worse. It seemed none of the Apes had actually bothered reading the instructions of

The day would soon prove to be stranger than

the menu before demanding as much as five

anything Alvin had anticipated in the morning.

servings of the mixtures.

As the grand opening of the Brown Soup was about to set in, a few local Apes who had

Ordering “the blowout” was bad enough in

been employed by the aliens opened the front

itself but consuming as much as five fillings

door. A small group on the inside even started

turned out to have disastrous effects. The belly

playing some brass instruments to signify the

of the first Ape who attempted this feat let out

importance of the grand opening.

a short “aaaauuuuwww” before smoke came out of the Ape’s mouth. Seconds later his belly

Out of the main entrance a posh looking

swelled up to twice the size and a rumble was

Ape with an immensely large sized chef hat

heard through the building. “Opps” was all the

appeared and started unwinding a scroll. It

Ape could do before he jumped up and started

looked like he was the main chef responsible.

running outside. It was too late though. The

The scroll was long, and the Apes in line were

smell was not pleasant as the screaming Ape

getting impatient. The Apes could now see

ran out of the restaurant and dove into the first

the soup boiling in big barrels on the inside,

available bush he could find. The rest of the

and they started jumping up and down with

Apes only took fleeting interest in this spectacle

100

and shortly after several other Apes suffered

as a precaution. It was best to stand still. The

the same fate.

aliens were finally attacking. He was sure of it. Alvin was not moving for a few minutes, but

After half an hour, the Apes had helped

then everything was back to normal. Well, as

themselves to vast amounts and mayhem

normal as it could be with all the Apes in the

took place. Some had eaten the “grandfather

vicinity going mad, but everything is relative.

paradox” and were having heated discussions with their long-deceased ancestors about

The DEATH leader looked around briefly and

inheritance while others again tried the “alien

concluded that the worst danger was over for

invincibility product” and made a game of

now. His invisibility cloak was deactivated as

it to hit each other in the head with as many

he sat down and reached for his notebook.

objects as possible. Inside the restaurant several

Seven more floating Apes were recorded in his

Apes had now floated up and were stuck to

book. He proceeded to lift his gaze up from his

the ceiling after gorging on the “Zero Gravity

notes to record more Apes, but then a flying

splendor”. Alvin was taking notes. This would

snake with eight legs and shoes rushed by.

go in his big book of truth. Yes Sir, there were

Alvin’s jaw dropped down. He looked at his

things here to learn and to record.

book briefly, then at the sausages and again lifted his head. There it was again. A flying

Little did Alvin know that the events of the

snake, with eight legs. And it was wearing

restaurant opening would only be the start of

sneakers! Why would a flying snake need shoes,

affairs that day. The real problems started a few

was the first thing that Alvin could think of.

hours after all the mayhem at the restaurant had

The next thing was Arrrrggghhhh, and then

taken place. Alvin was on his sixth sausage as

everything went black.

he was recording all the strange occurrences in the restaurant. Invincible Apes, duplicate Apes,

Alvin Best woke up and saw that a two headed

and floating Apes sure was something he would

giraffe like creature wearing a suit and hats

tell his turtles about when he got home.

was trying to help him up. “Excuse me Sir”, the giraffe said. “Are you quite alright?”

As he flipped the page to find more room for

‘fFFFFFffffff” was the reply from Alvin as

his sketches something weird took place. The

his eyes looked like they were about to leave

ground started shaking, the light in the sky

his skull. Before the giraffe managed to do

flickered on and off, and a blue colour seemed

anything, Alvin was on his feet, quickly grabbed

to come and go for a few seconds. A low-

his notebook and sausages and ran as fast as he

pitched boom was heard while the ground was

could back to his headquarters at South Zam

shaking. After that, silence for a second and

Street.

then lightning came from everywhere. Alvin jumped up and activated his invisibility cloak

Several days later, the news of the portals

101

to Daark East had reached Alvin Best in

They knew it, I knew it. Soon they control our

his cottage. He would not have found it out

minds. Bring more fruit. Line the roof with

himself as he had barricaded himself in a room

fruits. It’s our last hope!”. Rayburn had gotten

in the basement, but luckily, he had one fellow

used to the ramblings of Alvin and generally

DEATH member who remained ever so faithful

nodded in agreement as the rant went on. He

to the cause.

had found out that he usually was not actually meant to do anything unless Alvin repeated the

Rayburn de la Cruz had been following the

same things at least twice. This time though it

situation on the streets for the last few days

seemed like Alvin had something in mind. He

and regularly reported back to DEATH

could sense it as Alvin was now sitting in his

headquarters on the developments. Rayburn

chair with his eyes open and staring intently

was a young Ape that had grown up in an

forward into thin air.

orphanage at South Zam Street. As he had not paid too much attention in school, he

When this occurred, the light was usually on

realised that his talents did not amount to much

inside the mind of Alvin, and he had a plan.

when he as an adult had to move out from the

After about five minutes of silence, Alvin

sheltered life of the orphanage. Pairing up with

looked as if he mentally was in the same room

Alvin, and his never-ending supply of sausages

for a change. He looked at Rayburn, nodded

and beer seemed like the ideal move. Several

and said: “We know the aliens are doing

years had now passed and Rayburn had gotten

something in the vicinity of Melendez Way,

a small room in DEATH headquarters and

Holly Hill, and Mornington Road. Here, take

as much sausage as he could possibly eat in

this.” Alvin reached into a drawer and pulled

a lifetime. The Ape thought Alvin was batshit

out 1000 $SOCIETY. He handed it to the now

crazy, but that was really besides the point. The

attentive assistant. “Take this money and rent a

Ape gave him shelter and sustenance, so it was

cottage somewhere in that area. I want you to

a mutually beneficial relationship. All Rayburn

spy on the alien’s activity over the next months.

had to do was to run some errands now and

When you are done, come back here and tell me

then. Also, he was responsible for making

everything you learned.”

posters. An easy job Rayburn thought. After this brief moment of clarity, Alvin again As Alvin was locked up in the basement, his

started shaking and jumped on top of his desk

helper came by regularly with the news and

to do a little dance. Rayburn shrugged, took

some freshly grilled sausages. Each time new

the money and did as he was told. Before he

facts on the portals were given over to Alvin, he

left though, he made sure that Alvin had a good

would start shaking violently and flail his arms

stack of food and beer in the basement as he

in the usual manner. “I was right all along. The

was not sure if we would actually leave the

birds and the songs. The Aliens. The buggers.

space before he came back.

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Pi ra t e l a n d

The m e park or clever robber y ?

Author: Toggen

Illustration: Tranter Roberts

In DE Magazine issue 2, we sent out our usual reporters Ramsey Castillo and Redford White to find out about reports of a driving ship wagon down at Canmard City Avenue. As it

turned out, the pirates had used Doork East for some kind of testing grounds for their new franchises. When talking to pirate Ape, Floyd Evans, it was apparent that the strategy was

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not entirely thought through, as looting was bad, and business was worse. We were promised an update on the situation though, so the magazine editors decided that this was probably an event that needed to be covered. Ramsey Castillo and Redford White with the report. Seeing the hilarious sight of the ship drawn across the fields of Doork East by a drove of Donkeys had been a delightful highlight of the working day. Ramsey and Redford had been looking forward to finally getting an update from eccentric pirate Floyd Evans on what he described as an outsourcing of the usual pirate activities. It should not be too hard to find the pirate this time, after all his boat seemed to get stuck in the mud a lot. It was a warm sunny autumn day. The wheat fields of southern Doork East had mostly been harvested and left a wide-open view of the area between the many farms. Some Apes were still toiling in the earth digging up potatoes, while others could be seen climbing the apple and pear trees harvesting the fruits of the season. As Ramsey and Redford took the long and peaceful stroll through the majestic landscape, they were happy to soak in all the views this beautiful place displayed at this time of year. Approaching the more urbanised area of Canmard City Avenue, they immediately noticed something that they had previously not seen. Along the central square of the street, a plethora of pennants and banners displaying the jolly roger were hanging on ropes above the cafes and bars of the streets. Also, in the middle of the square, a huge poster was spread out with the image of Floyd Evans along with the text. “Visit the marvellous Pirate Land Theme Park today. Live the life of a pirate for a day”. After the peculiar sight in the street square both Ramsey and Redford trudged along with wide open eyes as more and more surprising views

met them on the road. Apes were walking past them with small handheld pirate flags in their hands. Some had stuffed parrot toys on their shoulders, while others looked to have a black eye and a slight limp. The common denominator was that they all were seen smiling on their way back from wherever they came. After walking for another 15 minutes a huge flagpole could be seen in the distance. It was the unmistakable sign of the jolly roger displayed on the flag swaying at least 60 feet in the air. Accordion music playing cheesy pirate tunes could soon be heard as the two reporter Apes approached something that looked like a gate in a wooded area. Moving closer to the music and the gate, the reporters were approached by a pirate Ape that had all the stereotypical tells. A big black hat, an eye patch, a seemingly dead parrot on his shoulder as well as a hook on one hand and a peg for a leg. In his free hand he was holding a ceramic jug with the letters XXX. “Greetings land crabs!” the pirate was yelling while his eyes seemed somewhat unfocused. Most likely from the content of his jug the reporters agreed afterwards. “Step into Pirate Land and experience the great satisfaction of being a real swashbuckling buccaneer. Only 50 $SOCIETY to enter and you can enjoy as much free meat and ale as you can jam down your gullet”. “Well, that is all very interesting”, Ramsey said while trying to contain his laughter from this preposterous view. “We were actually in these parts a few months back and met Mr. Floyd Evans. He promised us a tour of his ship when we came back. You wouldn’t happen to have seen him around?” “Ah, you are talking about the captain,” the grotesque looking pirate said while taking a generous sip from his jug. “He’ll be in the quarterdeck, counting up the booty. But before you go in, I’ll have to ask for the admission fee, 100 $SOCIETY for the

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lot of you. Tell you what, as a gesture of good faith, I’ll even let you have a swag of my jug before you pay.” The ugly looking Ape tried for a laugh, but ended up coughing in the most hideous way, almost keeling over. Ramsey and Redford quickly paid up the $SOCIETY and politely refused the offer of a free drink. On the inside of the gates, the reporters were amazed to see a myriad of Apes. Stalls were set up everywhere, and it looked like games where one could win prizes were a big hit. Some Apes were shooting balloons with small cannons, while others were throwing knives at small mechanical boats passing by. There were two very peculiar details that the reporters noted though, at each of the stalls, a bucket with the letters XXX and the word “free” sat neatly placed. The other detail was that all the Apes operating the stalls had pirate hats but looked as decrepit and ragged as the sore sight they had witnessed at the gate. After passing the stalls it seemed like all kinds of contraptions and activities were set up in the park. There were small boats everywhere, a tavern, and a huge tower. Passing all these attractions, the reporters finally laid eyes on a familiar sight. The strange wagon ship from before had now been parked on a small hill in the centre of the park. The wheels had been removed and the donkeys that were previously dragging the craft were now laying next to it. Redford noticed their foul breath when passing and thought to himself that they also probably had finished a few buckets full of XXX brew. Just as the reporters were approaching the ship, the door of the quarterdeck burst open, and they could see a familiar Ape who was appearing to perform a little jig as he strolled out. In both of his hands were big wads of cash being tightly squeezed in his palms. The Ape looked at the reporters and started waving at them, motioning them to come forward.

“Haaaarrggh’’ the pirate said as he gave the two Apes a big grin. “Would ya look at that, it’s me old friends from before! Yaarrgg, have ye gotten anything to drink yet?” Floyd Evans started looking around, no doubt for another jar with the triple X. “No, thanks,” both of the Apes said simultaneously while shaking their heads with conviction. “We were wondering what is going on though, this is a big change from last time we spoke. What happened?” “Baaarrgghh, well ye know, the ship on wheels was perhaps not the best idea in the world when all was said and done, so ol’Floyd needed to think of something. You see, the folks in the fields could outrun the ship, so making any serious money was tough. Floyd was sitting one evening singing some tunes while contemplating the next move. It was then a group of local Apes appeared. It seemed they liked Floyd’s singing and sat down to listen. After a while the Apes offered Floyd some booze that they had come by from some local farmers. Saaarrgh, booze makes me remember the old days on the sea, so I regaled them with stories of old, and they couldn’t get enough. The next day, more Apes came, and with more booze in the system the stories got better. It then dawned on me that perhaps this was the way to make it pay to be a pirate.” “Maaarrrgghh, after drinking my fair share of strong drinks and telling tall tales for more than a week, I needed a little lie down. Even hardened pirates get a headache you know! Gaaarrgh, well it turned out that while I was laying there, nursing my aching head, the local farmers who were responsible for brewing the strong drinks had been able to locate me. As it turned out they were ecstatic. All the extra sales in the last weeks had been more than they had managed to sell all season. It turned out they wanted to strike a deal with Floyd. They said, keep telling your stories and we will supply you with the alcohol. They also said they had a bit of spare land that I could use to start the

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106 Illustration: Tranter Roberts

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operation. All they wanted was 30% of the profits. Now, I must admit that Floyd was a little confused by this as I had been drinking all the profits myself, but the farmers assured me they had the solution. Waaarrrg, long story short, we started “Pirate Land”, and business is booming”. Redford and Ramsey noted everything down as fast as they could, and were generally impressed by what they had seen. “So, let me see if I have understood this correctly,” Ramsey said while scratching his head with his pen. “The farmers gave you land and alcohol, and you just have to tell stories. The result is that all these Apes are coming?” “Zaaaarrgghh’’ Floyd said with the widest grin. “It must be said that operations have somewhat expanded. So many Apes were coming that it was no longer possible for Floyd to handle this by himself. I even had to send a carrier pigeon to the pirate council to ask for reinforcements. Sadly, they did not have much trust in old Floyd it seems as they only sent these washed up, decrepit, foul-smelling lice ridden excuses for sailors’’. Floyd gazed over at some of his copirates laying in a pile by a stall snoring loudly. “Laaaarrgghh, it will get the job done though as the local Apes seem to appreciate this as authentic pirate life! So now we have all these pirate games that are practically robbery, along with free booze for all. Life is smiling to Floyd Evans my land walking friends’’. “Amazing story.” Redford said while looking around at the spectacle. “The farmers rented you land and property and provided you with booze. Your army of Apes charge money to enter the park, where you are trying to lure more money away from the visitors? In return, the farmers get a cut of your profits”. “Narrrghh, that is correct, matey.” Floyd again

clenched the wads of cash in his hands and performed another jig. “I don’t know why the pirates didn’t think of this before! No need to plunder and loot when Apes will give you their money for free! We even have set up a planking game. We get one of our crew to whack the Apes over the head with a plank. These idiots will pay 20 $SOCIETY for it. Can you believe that! Haaarrrgghhh! Next, I was thinking of doing some kidnapping and asking for ransom. If the Apes think that this is part of the pirate experience, we might even get away with it as an attraction!” “That seems like a high risk!” Ramsey said as he prepared to end the interview. “Thank you very much Mr. Evans, for your updates. We wish you the very best for your park”. “Daaarrggh, do stop back and make a report in your magazine, will ya! Maybe there will even be Apes from the central district coming down here to relish the delights of being a bonafide pirate for a day.” As the farewells were shared, the dancing pirate again moved into his quarterdeck, no doubt going for another swag of liquor and some booty counting. The two reporters did not really know what to think. Were the Apes really that stupid, or were the pirates really that clever? It seemed the pirate had in any case found an excellent prospering business, and the local Apes seemed to benefit from the operation, so a win/win for all it seemed. On the way back, they heard a large thump as well as some Ape shrieking. Immediately after they heard some laughing and clapping from the crowd. It seemed another Ape had been wacked over the head with a plank and was now out 20 $SOCIETY and happier for it.

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Sk y View Ave nu e T h e j e w el o f the So uth Author: CryptoLady

Sky View Avenue is a picturesque and quaint street nestled comfortably as the 3rd street from the south borderline, where Doork East shares a border with Fraggod East.

beard and top hat festival held annually during the winter. The livestock farming enjoys equal success, being one of the core agricultural industries in The City. Organic farming processes are proudly observed and executed, promoting good quality of life for all Apes. Travelling through the countryside, you may be lucky to observe a cow or two meandering the ripening fields.

This area encompasses the agricultural sector of the district. Precisely like at the north border, you will find an enormous flagpole with the Doork East crest proudly displayed at the south border.

The west of the countryside, especially around where Sky View Avenue is situated, is blessed with both littoral and riparian land, striking a fine balance in the location of pristine lakes and streams. On warm days you will find many Ape families enjoying the refreshing splendour of the jewel blue waters!

The agricultural activities consist of an abundance of the cultivation of both plants and livestock in this area. Wheat farming in Doork East is very popular amongst the City’s districts and it is rumoured that the wheat here does taste wheatier! It is also rumoured that a certain famous or is it infamous character, named Crépin Wright may have experimented some years ago on how to cultivate bigger grain, but alas that idea did not last very long! Additionally, tobacco farming has also flourished over time, contributing toward a healthy portion of the national income of the district. Farming the crop is labour intensive, spanning an average of 120 days to a full harvest, just in time each year for a full supply of freshly harvested tobacco to make its way into the cigar production process. A large supply of cigars makes its way to the annual

Located in the heart of Sky View Avenue, you will find a few local taverns and inns which are very popular with both the locals and tourists. Spotting a celebrity is nothing odd or unusual in these parts. Recent visits from the insightful Thorpe Brown saw huge crowd gatherings, many curious Apes hoping to exchange words with the famous Ape. The road in Sky View Avenue was expertly engineered and constructed by the local Military Officers. The road was built with lots of different sized stones that were compacted down to create a strong, stable, and longlasting surface. The road can stand up to the heavy crowds on days of huge gatherings or events, as well as carts laden with supplies

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Illustration: Amans Best

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travelling through. The road offers a beautiful vista of landscape with natural flora and a handsome line of trees. The array of bright colours from the flora mixed with the lush green of the trees is a site to behold. For the locals, travelling around faces no challenges, as the areas can comfortably be covered on foot. In fact, this is the preferred mode of transport as the abundance of generous fresh air and peaceful surroundings provides a sense of awakening. Originally, the dwellings and taverns were built by generations of villagers, all volunteering their time and efforts. These buildings were built with the most durable construction affordable, the earliest buildings built with wood and later rebuilt or extended with stone. Today the mixture of architectural design is unique and distinctive and a proud heritage town. The pride and joy belong to the residents, as the famous quote goes (adapted for the society), “I like to see an Ape proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see an Ape live so that his place will be proud of him”. The communities in the south of Doork East are productive, hardworking, peaceful, friendly, and familyorientated. Sky View Avenue is the centre for community gatherings, the place to unwind after a hard day’s work, the place to meet for quick ale and hear some juicy gossip! The place for the Apes up north to barter their wares. Fancy a game of darts, drop in anytime of the week/weekend, there will never be shortage of keen and avid players. If you happen to find your way down south, be sure to visit Sky View Avenue. You will be entertained for sure!

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T he s ecrets o f Brow n Ave n ue A p l a ce o f n ature and mys tery Author: BeamingKitty

112 Illustration: Tranter Roberts

Deep in the heart of Doork East lies a place of breathtaking beauty and mystery, a place where the gentle rolling hills and fertile farmlands play host to a unique and diverse community of creatures. This is Brown Avenue, a place where the connectedness of nature is savoured, and the secrets of the universe are whispered on the breeze. As one travels down the dusty roads of Brown Avenue, the first thing that strikes the visitor is the sense of tranquillity and peace that pervades the area. The gentle rustling of the leaves in the wind, the soft chirping of birds, and the distant lowing of cattle all combine to create a symphony of nature’s harmony. And it is here, amidst this idyllic setting, that the residents of Brown Avenue have chosen to make their homes. The Apes of Brown Avenue are a proud and fiercely independent population, unyielding in the face of adversity and passionately devoted to the land that sustains them. They are a community of farmers and artisans, who have passed down their skills and knowledge from generation to generation. And their labour has not gone unrewarded, the fields of Brown Avenue are a bountiful source of nourishment, not just for their own families, but also for their fellow Apes in all Doork East. Yet, it is not just the fertile land that draws these farmers to Brown Avenue. There is something deeper and more profound that keeps them rooted to this place, something that has the power to captivate the hearts and minds of all who dwell here. For it is also home to an otherworldly presence, one that has captured the imagination of scientists, artists, and dreamers for decades. The alien Apes have been known to visit the

land and leave behind intricate crop circles and cryptic artwork in the fields of Brown Avenue. These strange, otherworldly markings have become an important part of Brown Avenue’s culture and tradition. It has become a source of inspiration and wonder for the Apes living there and for those who visit the place. Curious tourists from far and wide are drawing to witness the mysterious markings for themselves. Many theories have been proposed to explain the alien Apes’ presence, from messages from extraterrestrial beings to the work of mischievous pranksters. Some believe that these alien Apes have brought new knowledge, wisdom, and technologies to the community, which has allowed them to improve farming techniques and get better yield out of the land. But one thing is certain: the impact of these mysterious visitors has only added to the allure and mystique of the region. Brown Avenue is a place of contrasts. It is a place where the simple, rugged beauty of nature meets the ingenuity and determination of Apes. Where the tranquillity of the countryside is juxtaposed against the hustle and bustle of modern life. And where the mysteries of the unknown are woven into the fabric of daily existence. As the sun sets over the rolling hills of Brown Avenue, casting a warm and golden glow over the landscape, one can’t help but feel a sense of peace and contentment wash over them. But as the stars come out, and the alien Apes reveal themselves, making their crop circles and mysterious designs, one can’t help but feel that Brown Avenue is a special place, where the secrets of the universe are whispered in the breeze. Because in this place known as Brown Avenue, where nature and mystery intertwine, the Apes can always feel connected to something bigger than themselves.

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114 Illustration: Théo Best (Crispy)

The Mornington Road Heist Author: Tranter Roberts

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“And remember, nobody is to use their real names” concluded the Ape with the long beard. He was standing in the centre of a dimly lit room. Beside him was a chalkboard covered in hand-sketched diagrams and scrawled annotations. Before the softly spoken Ape, code-named Tasama, lay a large wooden bench, almost entirely covered in highly detailed schematic plans, that appeared to be blueprints for a building. Listening intently from the far side of the tabletop were four other Apes, Lanurk, Heolt, Canmard and Brotaw. The Apes had been meeting regularly in secret, and today was the culmination of weeks’ worth of careful planning. Tasama was taking absolutely no chances. He had hand-picked everyone in the room for their special roles in tonight’s covert operation, based on a specific set of skills he knew they excelled in. Expertise the group relied on and would make the difference tonight between success and failure. Brotaw was the armourer. Beside him were an eclectic assortment of rifles complete with ammunition, each carefully wiped clean to avoid any chance for DNA evidence to be recovered. Canmard was the explosives expert. Coils of colourful electrical wire hung from both pockets and enough TNT was at his feet to start a small war. Lanurk in the dark

sunglasses, would be both the look-out and the getaway driver. Lastly there was Heolt, the alien technology and electronics wizard. There was no alarm system on the map he couldn’t bypass given enough time. The Mornington Five, as they would become known, were ready. Gang leader Tasama signalled it was time, and the Apes bundled tools, rifles, and explosives into large black holdalls and filed one by one quietly out into the cold night air. A short while later, the group passed unnoticed through the streets, and eventually stepped out into Martin Lane. It had just gone midnight and the place was deserted. Tasama gave the signal, and the gloves and balaclavas went on. Lanurk broke away from the group and took up a position in the shadows on the street corner. The remaining four Apes pressed on into the silence of the adjacent Mornington Road. They come to a halt almost immediately. There before them stood an unassuming Chateau, identical to so many others in the district with no standout features or obvious identifications. The ringleader unrolled the paper plan tucked under his arm. He signalled the thumbs up. This was the place. The first step was to cut the building power and disable the external alarms. Canmard and Heolt went in search of the main incoming supply. But nothing tonight was to be that simple. It was immediately apparent why this place had a reputation for a world-class security system. This had been anticipated however, and plan B was already in progress. Canmard assembled the necessary equipment and retraced his steps back towards Martin Lane and soon he was out of sight. A short five, maybe six minutes later

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there was a muffled distant sound, a little like a firecracker, and everything went dark. With the help of his explosives, Canmard had knocked out the power for half the district. Tasama glanced pensively at his pocket watch noting the time. The countdown started now. Under the hazy glow of flashlight, a wire ladder was unreeled and thrown over the perimeter wall. One by one the Apes scaled the boundary and descended into the Chateau grounds, retrieving the ladder once safely cleared. Tasama headed to the right and paced along the Chateau, studying the plans carefully as he did. After a few minutes he pulled out a white chalk stick from his overalls and marked a big “x” on the side wall, double checking his measurements just to be sure. Canmard moved into position with more explosives, taped them across the chalk mark then ran backwards unravelling a coil of wire as he did. “3, 2… stop” what was that? They all froze on the spot as approaching footsteps become louder. Where’s Lanurk? Where’s the look-out? Brotaw raised the rifle once more, aiming back towards the road. False alarm. The sound of the footsteps faded, and it was back to work. Once ear defenders and goggles were on, the silence was broken by a huge explosion that appeared to suck all the oxygen from the air. “Too much TNT?” wondered Canmard. As the dust settled a large hole was visible in the Chateau side wall and it was evident that part of the blue roof had entirely gone. The Apes could see, illuminated by their torch beams, right through to the centre of the building.

Carefully stepping over the rubble, they pushed forward into the darkness, where they found themselves at the rear of an entrance hall. Tasama was relieved to see the backup generators were not running, but Heolt cautioned the alarm system may still be active. He wasted no time going to work on the electronics panel high up on the opposite wall, carefully cutting and fusing various wires together. The technology in place here was of such high level of sophistication, he suspected some out-sourced extra-terrestrial engineering may have been deployed. He had a huge mistrust of the aliens and shuddered as this realisation fully dawned on him. Meanwhile, the rest of the group went to work with an oxyacetylene torch on the heavy-duty forged gates that stood between them and a stone spiral staircase. It was hard work and sweat poured from their brows, but eventually they were through first one, then two bars, creating a slim opening just wide enough to pass through. Before long, the gang started to descend the cold, spiral stone steps. These appeared to go on and on forever, leading deep into the earth. Tasama must have counted over one hundred stairs, and still they spiralled on. After what felt like an eternity, they finally rounded the last tight bend, and a vaulted room came into view. Heolt lit a smoke canister and tossed it into the centre of the room, quickly followed by a handful of light sticks that emitted a low-level greenish glow. As the smoke settled into a light haze, red laser beams became visible that crisscrossed the void before them. There must be some battery or alternative power source deep below ground. A painting hung to one side,

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faintly visible on the wall behind where they stood. A king perhaps? It was hard to be sure. Extremely careful not to break a laser beam, the Apes crawled forwards keeping close to the ground, inching towards a large solid steel vault door. There was no amount of oxyacetylene or explosives that would penetrate this. Tasama hoped the intel they had was good, and they were carrying with them the correct unlock codes for the day. Once clear of the lasers, they approached the keypad and a sense of trepidation fell over Tasama. He pulled out a small handwritten note, and began reciting a long string of numbers, which Heolt keyed in carefully one by one. An incorrect code would immediately set off an alert. They entered the last number and nothing. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife. Then, as if by magic a series of internal movements began, culminating with a large clunk, as the door creaked open. Tasama heaved the heavy door forward which revealed a locked golden gate behind. Fumbling into his overall pockets once again, he pulled out a bunch of ornate oversized gold keys. Canmard had never seen anything like it. There must have been over ten keys hanging there from a solid gold hoop. Tasama hadn’t volunteered how or where he had acquired these, information the other Apes were very happy to not know. On the third or fourth attempt, the key turned fully in the lock, and the gates swung open. They were in. The vault floor was piled high with solid gold bars. It would be all too tempting to load these into the holdalls, but that was not what they

were there for tonight. The Apes hastily shuffled towards the farright hand wall, which comprised, floor to ceiling, of safety deposit boxes. More tools were produced, and over the next ten minutes the locks for each box were drilled, the doors levered open, and the contents examined. Due to the highly secretive and confidential nature of the safety deposit box scheme, Tasama knew no authority would be able to confirm what contents, if any, were taken. Random boxes were left deliberately open to help confuse anyone examining the crime scene at a later time. Once all boxes had been prised open, Tasama went back to safety deposit box number 11. Inside were no diamond encrusted jewels, no piles of $SOCIETY coins, but rather two ordinary looking brown envelopes. Typed in bold on the front of one envelope was the word “ACCEPTED ‘’, and on the other one “REJECTED” was written. As Heolt, Canmard and Brotaw looked on in silence, Tasama reached back into his holdall and pulled out a red folder. Extremely carefully, he slid five pieces of crisp white paper out of the folder. Each paper was covered front to back in neat black writing. One by one he placed the papers into the first of the two brown envelopes. Mission accomplished. And just like that, the five Apes’ applications to join the Doork East Baank were approved. They were unaware that the vault they had infiltrated was merely a decoy, masterminded by King Monet himself. However, their ingenuity impressed him so much that he chose to employ them, rather than risk them working for his rivals.

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P resto n W hi t e

A n A p e wit h pri nci p les Author: Toggen

had been spotted sitting in a broken cart for more than two weeks. Having been editor for quite some time, Ramiro had a good nose for potential interesting stories. In this instance he could feel his nose hair tremble slightly, a telltale sign that something interesting was afoot.

While sitting at his desk reviewing the incoming reports from the field, editor in chief of DE Magazine, Ramiro Baldwin, noticed something curious. In the pile of daily tips from the public it seemed a certain variation of the same event had found its way to his desk more than ten times. The reports all came from the rural part of the district, more specifically from Taylor Avenue. For some reason, an Ape wearing a top hat

Wasting no time, the editor called in his two top reporters, Ramsey Castillo and Redford White. Their task was simple, go down to Taylor Avenue and find out what this Ape at the side of the road was all about. The walk from DE Magazine headquarters to Taylor Avenue was definitely too long. The DE Magazine reporters were only paid for an 8-hour workday no matter how long their respective tasks took. The two Apes were very senior at their position and knew all the tricks in the books to not overextend their working hours. After all, the pub opened at 5PM, and it was darts night. To remedy the gravity of the situation, both Ramsey Castillo and Redford White found it most reasonable to hitchhike to the rural parts in the south so as to save precious time. Due to the popularity of DE Magazine, several Apes were eager to grant the reporter Apes access to their south going carts. Of course, they expected to hear some juicy news as payment for the ride, but the Apes were more than happy to spin a few yarns in exchange for a quick ride to the area of interest.

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The two Apes selected a comfortable ride where the transport south consisted of goose feather pillows and compressed springs. The pillows were the deciding factor, so both Ramsey and Redford spent the ride south in horizontal position while soaking in the views of the countryside, basking in the nice warm

sun. Some time later the cart approached Taylor Avenue and the two reporters took a somewhat more detailed interest in the surroundings as they were now looking for the Ape beside the road. They did not have to look long. On a stretch of the road with wheat fields on either side, they spotted a broken cart on the side of the road. The two front wheels seemed to have

120 Illustration: Tranter Roberts

broken off and it was in no condition to drive without repair. On top of the cart sat an Ape with a black wool coat and a top hat. The Ape was sitting quite still with his arms crossed. The reporters found the scene to be very strange and hopped off their cart to have a chat with the Ape.

“Hello good Sir.” Ramsey said as he gave a friendly wave to the Ape. “Are you in need of aid Sir? We are here from DE Magazine, as there have been quite a lot of reports coming in that you might be distressed.” “Good day sirs.” The Ape of the cart said as he unfolded his arms and tipped his hat to the

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reporters. “My name is Preston White, and I am very glad to see you. You see, I have been the victim of great injustice from the local law enforcers, and I would very much like to tell my story.” The White Ape then proceeded to step down from his broken cart and shook the hand of Ramsey and Redford. Redford nodded his head in the direction of the cart. “What happened here? You said there was some kind of injustice?” Preston puffed his cheeks and blew out some air before he started to speak. “So, here I am doing my normal route from Melendez Way to Canmard City Avenue with a shipment of scrap iron. I was sitting on my cart, minding my own business, when these hooligans from the sheriff’s office suddenly started to ram my cart. Obviously, I was horrified with this kind of brutality. They broke off both of my front wheels and then I got stuck in this location. I have never been treated this badly before, and from law enforcement. Outrageous!” Redford took some notes and scratched his head as he looked over what he had written. “You say that the sheriff’s wagon rammed you all of a sudden without warning? That sounds very strange?” “Well, they claimed they had been following me all the way from Victoria Grove and had shouted that I should stop for over two hours, but that is besides the point. I was sure they were just bad singers. Didn’t pay much attention to them.” “But they were from the sheriff’s office, right? Didn’t they have uniforms and markings on the cart? Why would they drive behind you for hours just randomly singing?” “That is going down into too many details!” Preston White again crossed his arms in front

of the reporters. “They used whistles, I was sure they were just rehearsing some silly tune. To be honest I was kind of annoyed that they could not just drive past me, as their singing was getting on my nerves, to tell the truth. Anyway, after they had savagely rammed my poor cart, they told me that they stopped me because my cart was missing registration plates. The nerve of them! I have been driving this cart for years, but I always leave the registration plates at home. Seems the most reasonable thing to do. No one can steal them that way.” Redford and Ramsey looked at each other, not quite sure what to think. After a few looks at the notes again, Redford continued. “Right, so they forcefully pulled you over. What happened next?” “Ha, the oafs had the audacity to give me a fine. Me! The law-abiding Preston White.” Preston now looked rather irate and was shaking his fist to the air in general. “I told them right there, that they could take the fine and shove it where the sun won’t shine. Further, I told them that I expected them to fix my wheels there and then. The only response I got was laughter. What an outrage. They said they could send over a repairman, but that I had to pay for it myself, can you believe that! Oh no Sir, they are paying for it, this is a certainty.” Preston was now panting heavily, and fury was building up in his head as he turned a dark shade of red. Preston and Redford now had a hard time containing their laughter, as the story seemed rather bizarre. Ramsey coughed a bit to camouflage his grin and proceeded. “So now I guess you are at a stalemate? How long have you been standing here, and what do you think will happen next?” “Sir, I will bide my time. When I am right, I am

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right, and this time I am sure I am right. The bastards will pay. I grant you, it doesn’t look too likely that they will come back though, as I have now been standing here for two weeks waiting, but I have principles, and justice will prevail somehow!” “What, you have been sitting here for two weeks waiting? What have you been doing this whole time, and what have you been eating? It is not possible to get washed or cleaned here either?” “Oh, I have been OK. I am an old Ape and don’t have any family, so I have time. My business is just collecting scrap metal, so it will not go anywhere. Each day this local Ape comes by and he will help deliver some food from the local restaurant. As long as I pay him, he will bring the food. It does get a bit expensive ordering three meals a day from a restaurant, but it is what it is. I have also ordered a cart to come by once a week with a tub full of water. That way I can get washed. The only problem I have is that it gets a bit cold in the evenings.” “That sounds rather expensive doesn’t it? I bet if you had spent that money on the repair for the cart you could have been on your way a long time ago.” “Don’t go there!” Preston gave both the reporters an accusing index finger. “This case is about principles, nothing more and nothing less. Besides, several Apes that passed by have offered to fix the wheels for free, but I won’t let the sheriff’s Apes get away with it that easily, no Sir! The other issue I have now is also that I had to sell the horses to pay for the restaurant meals, so even if the wheels were fixed, I would need new animals. I am currently devising a plan to get reimbursement for the horses from the sheriff as well. They will pay! Mind my words!”

Redford now had a lot of notes and tried to summarise the situation. “So, if I understand this correctly you were pulled forcefully over by the sheriff’s cart after they had asked you to stop for more than two hours. After that you got a fine for missing registration. You find this outrageous and refuse to pay. Now you want them to fix your cart but acknowledge that they probably never will return. You sold your horses to buy food from a restaurant and order tubs for washing once a week. There have been several Apes that want to fix your cart for free, but you refuse on principle. All the while, you sit on your broken cart freezing through the night, all because of principles?” Preston listened intently to the summary and nodded in agreement. He seemed rather proud of himself for standing his moral ground. “Precisely! Principles matter. If we all just gave in on every whim, where would that leave us. Sometimes we have to take the hard stand and say, enough is enough! I will stand here as long as it is required. At some point I am sure that they will yield, and then I can be on my way again.” With those words, Preston gave a nod to the reporters and proceeded to climb back onto his cart. As he pulled his top hat firmly down towards his ears, he again crossed his arms and proceeded to stare forwards into the wheat fields again. After waving goodbye, Redford and Ramsey managed to get a lift back to DE Magazine headquarters and made the opening hour of the pub for the evening’s dart tournament. The topic for discussion that evening was the story of Preston White and his stubborn attitude. No alcohol was needed that evening to lift the spirits, as the ridiculousness of the situation lifted the mood of the place for the entire duration of the tournament.

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Doork East

craftsmen union Author: BigSmell

Illustration: Tranter Roberts

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Craftsmen Brothers, Time is fleeting. The opening of the Market Place is already here, laying a fork in the road ahead that we may still choose to build how we please. I set aside my hammer to write to you today from the workbench of my humble Doork East cottage, with an appeal to the Craftsmen of all 35 Districts. Please bear with me as I set aside my pride in doing my best Artist’s impression to illustrate the two paths that lay at the fork that we approach now: One path is dark, and lonely. A veritable race to the bottom of the market, with no plan to set the value of our own labour. It’s a messy path, ripe with exploitation from a marketplace that we allow to undervalue our hard work and patience. Military Officers stalk this path without shame or fear of reprisal, pillaging our bar and fireplace fabrication shops and taking what they please with so little as a note left behind to alert us as weeks of hard work slip away at the moment we claim. In this path, we live on the floor amongst the Artists, leapfrogging back and forth with a class whose purpose only exists today because Artificial Intelligence hasn’t figured out how to realistically create fingers yet. Emissions are dropping and we earn the least $SOCIETY per day of all classes. On this dark path we have little hope to enrich our households with the one saving grace that no one can take if we don’t allow it: the benefits of our labour. This is the path that we’re currently set to walk if we don’t take what we deserve. The other path is bright, organised, and highly rewarding to those who take the time to build together. On the bright path, Craftsmen are paid a fair living wage for their goods. Military Officers who do the right thing are publicly honoured, such as Denton Wright, who just this month returned a stolen bar to its rightful Craftsman creator. On this path, Craftsmen fight back against the system that allows 10% of our wares to be stolen, and help our Brothers insure the items that take the most time to create make their way back to the thumbs that forged them. This is the path we will walk together if we unite now, determine the value of our own time and skill, and build a community that looks after each other. Of course, there will be those along the way who don’t wish to play ball and undercut our labour rate for a quick sale. We will deal with them together. We will shame them for turning their back on their own kind. We will create benefits that only those on our side can enjoy and we will leave the door ajar for those who gain the sense to join us. As a resident of DE, I assure you it’s possible to flip our value in this Society if we plan together and follow through. Together, we can build a culture that takes us off the floor. We are the bottom of the Pyramid, we are the foundation. The question is: How do we get the message across that without us, the rest of the Pyramid topples? The answer, my Brothers is simple: Unionise. Respectfully Yours, Nelson Edwards, DE LOCAL 11 Craftsmen Union

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PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENTS Billboard Victoria Grove Authors: Toggen & Tranter Roberts

Amato Fine Arts & Antiquities

Amato Fine Arts and Antiquities are pleased to publicise the launch of a new original art curator service, catering for the most discerning customers. Need a genuine Caravaggio hanging above the fireplace, or perhaps a Monet for the bathroom of your cabin? All known masterpieces are available, at very competitive prices. All orders will be forged fulfilled within 24 hours. Gallery founder Garrick Amato announces “All artworks supplied complete with A complementary certificate of authenticity... ahem, with full and comprehensive provenance fabricated... I mean included, free of charge.” _____________________________ Regent Street welfare union Pedestrians at Regents Place

are advised to be on the lookout for loitering Military Officers. There are rumours floating around that they are currently on a strike, but the news has not been confirmed. DE Magazine has heard from contacts within the Military ranks that the officers are currently in a very bad mood and refuse to loot anything. Some murmurs of bars being very heavy have been heard. If you see any officer group gathering in the streets, you are advised to keep your distance. They could be aggressive! _____________________________ Grand opening of new Squash Court at 156 Laurel Road The Explorer Guild of Doork East is pleased to announce the opening of a brand-new Squash Court at 156 Laurel Road. After spending months trying to break down the invisible wall at the eastern border of Doork East, our crafty explorer finally gave up breaking the barrier. Dynamite, pneumatic drills, battering rams and profanity, nothing works. As the explorers found out that everything bounces off the barrier, one of the more creative explorers suggested that we start a

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Squash club to recuperate some of the losses for trying to break down the barrier. All Doork East residents are welcome to 156 Laurel Road to try your skills. Only 10 $SOCIETY admittance for 30 minutes of bouncy fun! _____________________________ Hear ye all Apes of Doork East! The Amphitheatre will still accept family donations towards the construction of this amazing landmarks. Donate anything from 10K $SOCIETY to 1M $SOCIETY and receive accolades, fame and blueprints for your family’s benefit. Do not miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to create something amazing for your family. - Esmond Mars Grand Master of the Amphitheatre _____________________________ Sausage shortage throughout Doork East As many of our dear citizens have noticed in the last couple of months, sausages are getting harder and harder to come by. As soon as the butchers of the region have completed their work, wholesalers are buying everything up in bulk instantaneously. The Merchants

of Doork East are puzzled by this behaviour and are adamant that they are not part of a cabal to drive inflation up on this commodity. The buyer seems to have eluded all investigations so far, so expect prices to remain high going forward. The Merchants have pleaded with the farmers and butchers of Fraggod East and Gictus to ramp up production rates as much as possible to resupply the district. _____________________________ Warning to potential portal travelling Apes If you are travelling to Daark East through one of the official portals, be aware that a joker seems to be on the prowl. In times where traffic is low, we have gotten several reports that rotten vegetables seem to come flying through the portal from the Doork East side. Complaints from soaked Daark Apes have piled up on the assistant mayor’s office, it’s all very embarrassing. So far, we have no clear suspects, but we find it curious that a Doork East Ape has started a business selling face shields very close to the portals. - Doork East Town Hall Council _____________________________ Walnut Street Bridge Club seeking Daark East Apes The Walnut Street bridge club is struggling with rising prices overall, and would like to know if any Daark East Apes would like to join our bridge

club? The way we see it, oil for lamps is very expensive, so a self-luminous Ape in our midst during the late evening games would be a great cost saver. Don’t know how to play bridge? No problem, you can just watch the rest of us play! Only one toilet break per game is allowed! - Walnut Street Bridge Club ____________________________ Able Ape seeking employment opportunities Creighton Lavigne of 156 Martin Lane is seeking appropriate employment opportunities in the great district of Doork East. Creighton originally hails from the “information retrieval business” in Lanurk but had to vacate the district in a hurry due to unforeseen issues where he unfortunately “interrogated” the wrong Ape. As some Apes are better connected than others, Creighton found it prudent to lay low for some time. Creighton will work for any Sir or Madam with needs related to hard to extract information. The Sheriff’s office unable to help? Get in touch with Creighton for breakneck offers. - Creighton Lavigne, Unemployed _____________________________ Stamp Library Post Office sub branch Terrel Wilson of the Stamp Library would like all Apes in Doork East to know that a sub branch is now open in 93 King Avenue, Doork East. Any

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need for stamps? Any need for packages to be sent? Need to send a resignation letter to your employer? Come down to 93 King Avenue and have all your post-related urges fulfilled! - Terrel Wilson, Postmaster, Doork East _____________________________ Sheriff’s bounty- Wanted Apes The Sheriff’s office has reason to believe that the four Apes known as the “Gruesome Greens” are hiding out somewhere in Doork East. If you ever come across the Apes known as Thatcher, Tye, Kipp and Brewster Green, notify the Sheriff’s office immediately. Consider these Apes highly dangerous. Any information leading to their arrest will lead to a compensation of 10 000 $SOCIETY! _____________________________ Dungeon explorations or monstrous rentals Ever had the urge to explore a dungeon crawling with spectres from the depth of hell? Ever wanted to see a real dragon hoard? Maybe you would like to pet a Leprechaun? Well, now is your chance. Come to 18 Melendez Way to experience some real adventures in a very real dungeon. We also rent out unicorns to children’s parties and ghosts for set time haunting. Come over to negotiate prices, and we’ll set you up with a terrifying experience! - Garfield Ventucci, Merchant

128 Illustration: Amans Best

The Daark Diary of Sanford de Balboa Author: Toggen

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Day 1. Preparations and departure. Dear Diary, The procession from the town hall of the square in Victoria Grove to the portal at Melendez Way was marvellous. The district Apes were cheering us on as we paraded through the streets on horses adorned with the finest colours of our beloved district. Bannermen holding the standard of Doork East lead the procession while two marching bands would keep the good mood of the crowd. Behind the band several carts of supplies were pushed through the streets. The city, as well

as King Monet himself, had made sure that we would be equipped with any and all gear that would be required for such a long and arduous trip. I can only speak for myself, but it seemed a sense of pride radiated from all the selected members of the party as we rode through the streets. Before the march we had been briefed at DE University at Birkbeck Road. All the important Apes of our community had been there. King Monet chaired the meeting, but the assistant mayor was there, as well as the whole faculty of DE University with Brent Monet at the helm.

130 Illustration: Amans Best

Our mission was clear. We would be sent as official representatives from Doork East to explore and map the regions on the other side, known as Daark East. We were the lucky few that had been selected for this very honourable, yet somewhat perilous task. The selection criteria had been done by way of a draw. Many Doorks had volunteered for this very prestigious assignment, and only the luckiest five of us had been selected. Some envious Apes had voiced their concern that it would have been better to select the provable most competent crew for such an important

mission, but all had been dismissed as spiteful gossip from resentful losers. The crew selected for the journey consisted of five main members, each with their own very specific task. Before the briefing with King Monet, I had previously not met any of the other members, so all I have this far is first impressions. The first member of the group was an Ape known as Dover Cox. He was an artist of trade and would be responsible for drawing up copies of maps as well as documenting the surroundings of the new world with paintings, songs, and poems. A scrawny looking fellow it

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seemed, although his demeanour was that of a very happy Ape. He would skip around the room making sure that he shook the hand of everyone there, before he sat down at the table and pulled a feather from behind his ear and started drawing a sketch of the surroundings. To be honest, I don’t think he managed to catch much of what was said during the meeting, but I could be wrong. A happy Ape that surely

would liven up the camp at night for sure. The merchants had insisted that they would be represented on this journey and so a stout fellow with the name of Granger Chiesa had been drawn. His main responsibilities would be to map out the potential trade opportunities that this new land presented. He would then try to establish contacts so that all the merchants would benefit from new exciting opportunities

Illustration: Amans Best

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in this thrilling time. Granger seemed like a pleasant Ape, although I wonder whether he is equipped for long journeys. He was wearing the finest of garments to fit his robust physique and he seemed to really enjoy smoking cigars. I noticed that he managed to consume as many as four whole stogies during our short meeting. He did ask several questions though, most of them in the line of how much he personally could bring back to Doork East that was exempt from taxes. Sensing intelligence in this Ape I think he could be a valuable asset to our small group. For protection and recognisance on the journey we needed an experienced military officer. A tall and dark Ape by the name of Landon Baldwin had been chosen. He had a very loud voice and a handshake that you would remember for quite some time. At the table he was sitting with his legs spread wide and was taking twice the space of the other Apes. During the briefings he refused to remove his sword, claiming that it was part of his very being. He also spent any opportunity he could talking about past exploits in battles he had taken part in. It was hard to get any further readings on Baldwin at this time but seeing his character at the briefing made it clear that we were dealing with an Ape of vast experience with battles as well as military tactics. The last member of the party, when not considering myself, is the royal advisor, Alfonso Lavigne. I immediately found it a little odd that he would not greet his fellow travellers when entering the room, but rather would walk straight up to King Monet and throw his arm around the neck of the King. I cannot be sure, but King Monet seemed somewhat puzzled about this behaviour as well. During the meeting, Alfonso would generally

sit still in his chair while squinting around the room. He wore thick spectacles, no doubt from centuries of reading. He was indeed a zombie Ape. After the meeting we learned that Alfonso had dealt with several generations of Apes, and had managed to keep himself on the right side of politics. That was except for that rare occasion when he lost his head to a somewhat envious Monet Ape. Odd fellow but let me give him some time and I am sure that he will be a fine companion. His mission during the exploration will be to liaise with the locals to gain knowledge on politics of the area and establish diplomatic relations with the major players on the other side. So that only leaves me, Sanford de Balboa. My mission is to map out the new regions, document areas of interest and generally explore the surroundings to see what is there. I am very excited to go on this expedition, as exploring in Doork East is no longer that exhilarating. Being a robot Ape, I believe that it will be to my benefit to explore the new lands. After all, us robot Apes are generally better equipped to deal with harsh weather and adverse geography. We do not yet know what we will encounter, be it foreign Apes, new landscapes, exotic animals, or interesting artefacts. No matter what, it will be a real adventure, and to represent Doork East in such a grand setting makes me incredibly proud. After our little briefing and the grand procession, we had all gathered at the portal in the Clock Museum at Melendez Way. Originally this portal had taken the travellers directly to the zoological gardens in Daark East, but that problem had promptly been resolved in that all the animals now had escaped to Doork East and the newly founded menagerie just outside the Clock Museum.

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As luck would have it, we were allowed to take some helpers on the trip, and they would proceed to start off loading our equipment from the carts and manually through the portals. To the loud dismay of Chiesa and Lavigne we would not be able to bring any carts or beasts of burden through the portal as it was simply not large enough. Alternative transport needed to be arranged on the other side.

sound the reveille to wake us up. This would normally not have been too bad, but the fact that Landon was snoring infernally the whole night and it sounded like he was about to kill his harmonica, made for some disgruntled Apes. Landon’s mood turned for the worse as a spear was flying towards his general direction from Alfonso Lavigne’s tent. Some murmurs from both camps could be heard and Landon was scurrying off not to be seen for several hours.

A few hours of organisation and last-minute preparations saw us all finally prepared to step through the gate. Our helpers had gone in advance and had set up a makeshift camp on the other side in Daark East. Simple tents were erected for most of us, but Alfonso Lavigne demanded a walk-in tent with full amenities. He very loudly told the helpers, who looked terrified, that we would not sleep on the ground like some savage animal. The helpers just managed to squeeze in a bed frame and a bunch of goose feather pillows and duvets through the portal. As I am writing this there is an awful sound coming from the tent of Landon Baldwin. It sounds like a mix of terrified horses and a whale being choked to death. I hope it is only snoring and nothing worse. Regardless, I will now power down my hearing to a minimum and get some much-needed sleep. I need to be as sharp as possible for tomorrow’s preparations.

Day 2. Daark East-Neighbourhood explorations. Dear Diary, We were woken early by a very happy sounding Landon Baldwin playing his harmonica outside his tent. Apparently, he felt it was his job to

As we were packing up, it was great to get a first good look at Daark East in the light of day. Just east of where we camped, the great cliff with the Daark monastery was dominating the skyline. Immediately to the west and north vast amounts of buildings had been erected in what appeared to be a major city. The architecture reminded us somewhat of what we were used to from home, but instead of wood, stone seemed to be the material of choice for building houses. In the south the landscape opened up more, and a lake, as well as some wooded areas appeared in the immediate viewing distance. It was a great way to start the day. Both Granger and Alfonso had arranged meetings with local merchants and city council members in the morning. Granger quickly walked off in the direction of his meetings after a short breakfast while sucking in the fresh air from his third cigar of the day. Alfonso was more hesitant to move though. He lectured the assistants that the only proper way for a royal advisor to travel in these parts was by litter. The poor Apes scrambled to the nearby market to try and find some sort of arrangement that would please the Lavigne Ape. He would sit in the shade of an oak tree while squinting out from behind his spectacles and make grunting

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noises as zombies do. As Dover Cox had set up a canvas and was busy painting the cliffs of the Daark monastery, it left me with ample time in the morning to explore the surrounding area. I was keen to find out more details on this amazing place that somewhat reminded me of home. The first curious thing I found while walking through the streets was that the Apes in this world looked and acted almost exactly as us. There was one major difference though, they seemed to have a sort of glow emanating from their fur, like a visible aura that could be seen by the naked eye. Some of them had a white radiance while others could be seen with a more blue and greenish tone. A remarkable discovery that would surely need to be researched by our scientists back home. As luck would have it, I stumbled over a shop that sold old books and maps. It looked like a specialised shop, so I went in to have a chat with the owner. A friendly Ape with the name of James Gunnarson gave me a whole deal of great insights into this new world. When looking at his maps, the structure of the city looked almost eerily similar to Doork East. It has the same dimensions and the same number of streets even. Where the great Landmark of Doork East was located, it looked like the monastery of Daark East sat in that exact same location. Even the names of the streets seemed somewhat similar. Imperial Place sounded similar to Regent Place; Emperor Avenue was located where our King Avenue was. They even had a road called Gascanmard City Avenue where our Canmard City Avenue was seated. Very curious. Further exploring the maps of Mr. Gunnarson revealed that this place had the exact same

number of districts as back home. 35 in total. The difference was that Daark East was the most prominent district with the most Apes and the most important buildings and landmarks. Familiar sounding names like Sandfort Craras, Talisman City, Schinicelnag, East and West Crude and Dragodd East could be seen drawn in. It was explained that the regions of this world were mostly named after the most abundant natural resource in the area. For instance, the Marblab District would have great deposits of marble. The most exciting thing that came from Mr. Gunnarson was not about the similarities of the maps, but rather a surprising revelation that it was possible to travel further east than Daark East. Where our world had limitations of physically going beyond the edge of the map, here in Daark East it was not only possible, but very easy. They had even built a large bridge over a great chasm that separated the Daark East side from the rest of the world. I was warned that this area was mostly unexplored by the Daark Apes as it contained strange beings, strange Apes, and even stranger geography. The Daarks tended to stay away from the area, as they were mostly happy and prosperous trading within the confines of their own city limits. As a thank you for a great chat, I was given a sample map of the known districts. This would be a prized possession that I would devote much energy to studying in my spare time. After visiting the local shops and buildings the sun was high up in the sky. My stomach ached a bit from hunger as I could smell the crispy chicken being prepared by the many street vendors. My nose then told me that it would be time to return to camp and share some of my newly discovered details with the party

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136 Illustration: Amans Best

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over lunch. I wondered if they had similarly interesting stories to share. As I returned, I was met by a smiling Dover Cox who was in an unusually good mood. It seemed that he had finished his painting of the Daark monastery in just a few hours and was eager to show the result. It was a beautiful oil painting of the monastery seemingly swimming above the layers of clouds that surrounded the mountains. I told him that he did a great job and showed him my map from the store earlier. To my surprise, Dover did not seem too enthusiastic about the paper, but I put it down to him probably being as hungry as I was. The assistants had brought some much-needed precooked meals back from the portal and were ready to set up our dining table for lunch. We had the most delicious servings of plump goose marinated in flavoured butter, as well as fried fish from the creek at Birkbeck Road. All this marvellous food was courtesy of Chancellor Brent Monet at DE University. I imagined what it would be like to be a professor at the university and enjoy servings like this every day while savouring a generous portion of fresh apple cider. At the table two of the Apes from the party were missing. No one had seen Landon Baldwin after the failed wake up call in the morning, while Alfonso Lavigne had only left one hour earlier as the assistants had finally sourced a box with two sticks that would work as makeshift litter. So, the lunch consisted of Dover Cox, Granger Chiesa, and me. It turned out to be an interesting meal as I was given some updates on what Granger had found out during his meetings. Firstly, it had come to his attention that this world was rife with natural resources and that Daark East

specifically had huge deposits of diamonds and quartz. They did not value these gemstones as much as we did back home, and Granger saw great potential in trade for produce and other agricultural crops. Furthermore, he had also learned that the Apes in this world would be sorted in classes much like us, but in this world the names of the classes differed slightly. A Craftsman would be an Artisan, an Artist a Maestro, an Explorer a Discoverer, a Merchant a Trader, a Military Officer a General, a Royal Advisor an Imperial Minister, a Noble a Duke and a King would be an Emperor. Apart from that, the social ranking and jobs would be very similar to what we were used to. This was very useful information and we agreed to write it down in our logs and present it as part of our report to the Apes back home. The lunch lasted for several hours. While Dover and I indulged in the delicious food, Granger consumed everything that we had not touched. I think the setup of food was meant for five Apes, but now every last piece of meat on the bones were gone, and Granger looked reasonably satisfied as he lit up a newly acquired extra-long cigar. While waiting for the other Apes to return, I had a walk around the camp and to the south to the more wooded and swampy areas. The flora and fauna at this place finally reminded me that I was no longer in Doork East. Strange looking blue and green lizards with four eyes were intently staring at me before darting away for cover. There were even green birds that sounded like they were laughing at all passersby with hysterical cries. The trees were also different. Some oak, birch and aspen trees could be seen here and there, but the majority were unknown. Some very small trees that looked like cacti were everywhere. They were

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not prickly but had needle shaped leaves that seemed to shoot out from the stem. After some time of watching and documenting, I suddenly heard some violent harmonica playing coming from a small swampy lake close by. As I ran over to see the source of the racket, I was shocked to find a partly submerged Landon Baldwin wrestling an abomination that looked to be part crocodile and part beaver. It looked like Landon had the upper hand as the animal desperately tried to get away from his iron grip. When Landon spotted me, he again hooted with his harmonica as his eyes indicated that I should come over to give him a hand. I quickly ran into the water and understood by his motions that he wanted me to take his harmonica out of his mouth. Complying to his request I snagged the instrument from his lips and as soon as I had gotten it, out he proceeded to sink his now exposed teeth into the neck of the animal. The next things I heard were a growl from Landon, and a shriek from the animal, and after that silence! Landon then let out a triumphant cry and looked at me with a big grin. He explained that he was exploring the area when he met a local Ape that said these creatures were a delicacy. Since he was already there, he figured that he would catch dinner. The only problem was that he got stuck in the mud and thought he would pass the time fine-tuning his harmonica playing. For odd reasons the harmonica seemed to attract the animals, and he had been wrestling this beast now for well over thirty minutes. As I helped Landon out of the water, he would drag the deceased beast after him. He immediately proceeded to clean it out with his sword and threw it on his back as he was ready to walk back to camp. Apparently, the beast was called a Bitogator, and should taste almost

like chicken. As we approached the camp, we arrived almost at the same time as Alfonso Lavigne. The poor assistants that had carried his litter now lay exhausted by the camp trying to regain some of their breath from the heavy lifting. Alfonso’s mood didn’t seem much changed from earlier as he was going straight into his tent after murmuring a “good day” to his fellow adventurers. Landon and Granger were eagerly standing by the spit to roast the Bitogator later in the evening. The rest of us would gather at the table while waiting for the beast to cook. Even Alfonso had emerged from his tent as he no doubt must have caught wind of the amazing smells from the roasting beast. We learned from Alfonso that he had met with the city council, but when demanding to discuss matters with higher authorities was asked to wait patiently. Alfonso was not the Ape to wait for others, so his mood had not improved from that conversation. He had learned something at least. It seemed the prime authority in this land was Emperor Tang. The emperor was, according to reports, an Ape that seemed to have things under control. He had an amazing ability to predict the time and method of death of his opponents and also an amazing foresight in knowing what sort of Apes would prosper in the districts. His reports also indicated that he was a fair ruler and an Ape of wisdom, but Alfonso was not so sure about the latter as he had refused an audience with him that day. As the night came close and the sun had set beneath the horizon, all of us were sitting at our little camp sharing stories from the day, nibbling on the Bitogator meat while trying to relax as best we could. It was an eventful day,

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and the time had come to wind down and enjoy the evening in Daark East prior to our next adventures.

Day 3. Preparation for exploration. Dear Diary, The day started in an unexpected way. Landon’s incessive snoring had yet again kept part of the group awake until the early hours, while our military officer had no doubt slept like a baby. Just after the sun had risen, he was again taking his self-imposed duty of waking up the party very seriously. This time we did not hear the traumatic sound of his harmonica playing, but rather a high-pitched scream coming from the burly Ape. It turned out that Alfonso had spent the waking hours of the night spicing up the harmonica with a very hot chili powder. Alfonso immediately came out of the tent and was instantly in a very good mood as he was pointing and laughing at Landon. Indeed, I think this was the first time I had seen the royal advisor smile at all. After some intense few minutes of profanity exchanges, Landon walked off and was not seen for hours.

simultaneously, so everything that came out was somewhat difficult to comprehend. Dover, on the other hand, was not too involved in the conversation as he was seen staring at a tree for what seemed to be at least an hour. When finally getting a response out of him he claimed he needed his quiet time for artistic inspiration. I find Dover to be a hard character to judge. He is very preoccupied with his interests and don’t seem too captivated by the lure of exploration. I do hope he is good at drawing up maps. For my own part I feel that the real allure in this world would be to explore the areas to the east. The complete unknown has always fascinated me, and who knows what hidden wonders we would encounter in this strange and foreign land. I would make it my task for the day to source as much information as possible on what lies beyond the district map, and how to get there. Maybe if I devised a good strategy, I could convince the group that taking the eastern route would serve our greater interest the most.

At the breakfast table Granger, Alfonso and myself discussed how we should proceed for the day, and if the time had come to begin some more serious planning for further explorations. Alfonso suggested that we spend another day exploring the immediate neighbourhoods as he was still hopeful of getting that elusive appointment with the emperor of Daark East. Granger on the other hand was keener on finding out more about the different natural resources in the districts. At least that’s what we thought he said. Granger had now managed to find an ingenious way of eating and smoking

So as Alfonso scurried off in his litter, and Granger had walked off to the city, I was left with only Dover for company. As he seemed somewhat lost in his thoughts, I figured that I would ask him to accompany me on my adventures into town. I believed that the change in scenery would perhaps inspire him to come up with some songs or poems to immortalise this new and exciting place. Dover complied with a smile and gathered his scrolls before we set off. My plan for the day was to revisit my friend from the map shop, Mr. Gunnarson. Surely, he could give me a lead to where I could learn more about this land to the east.

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While on the way there, we got somewhat detained. In the middle of a reasonably large square with bars and restaurants on all sides, a band had started playing. There were guitars and drums as well as fiddles and accordions. Several Apes had gathered around to see what was happening and would block our path past the square. This did not seem to stop Dover; his mood was immediately raised to what could only be described as ecstatic and would start dancing around the crowd until he was standing in between the band members. The other players seemed a bit puzzled, but Dover only smiled even wider and produced a flute from his pocket and started playing along. I think the other members liked what they heard as they then continued playing as if nothing had happened. I would stand and listen to the music for a couple of tunes but felt that we needed to get going, to get the most out of the daylight we had left. I tried to signal to Dover that it was time to go, but it was to no avail. He just waved back and gave me a large grin in between his flute playing. After a while I gave up and thought that he would be able to find the way back to the camp when he was ready. A few moments later I found the way out of the square and now continued along the known path between the narrow streets of this alien city. I saw bakers, food vendors and cobblers. All the common shops and stalls you would associate with a normal city. The difference was the architecture and the glowing Apes. I had yet to enquire about this fact and made a note that this was something I needed to find out when the time was right. Drifting along the streets in my own thoughts saw me back at the map shop before I realised that I had walked some distance from the square. The now familiar sign of Mr Gunnarson’s map shop

was right above me as I swung open the door to his business. Yet again, the venerable Ape turned out to be very helpful. He explained to me that the Daark Apes generally spent most of their time within the 35 regions as this was a safe harbour from the exotic and strange places on the outside. He did tell me that there was indeed a way to the east from Daark East. A marvellous stone bridge that crossed a chasm that stretched all the way from Emperorswood Avenue to Wrecker Lane. Not many Apes from Society ventured out there though, as there were many risks. Mr. Gunnarson suggested that I talk to a fellow trader named Mr. Lars Olsen. Mr. Olsen did some trades with the more exotic and savage Apes on the outside of the district maps and would know more details about the subject. Again, I thanked him for the aid and proceeded to walk in the direction I was sent. Just a few minutes later I spotted a sign with the name “Eastern Curiosities”. This shop matched up with the name I had been given, so I knocked on the large wooden door and waited for a reply. A few seconds later, the door would open slowly and a rugged weathered looking Ape with a long beard and glasses would poke his head halfway through the opening. After a short discussion to learn more about my reasons for visiting his shop, he reluctantly opened the door fully and motioned me to step inside. It was the strangest thing. Stuffed animals I had never seen the likes of were lined up against the wall, weird looking string instruments hung above the animals, while what seemed like hundreds of books were collecting dust on shaky looking wooden shelves. The Olsen Ape led the way through the shop. It was very clear that I was dealing with an older Ape as his physique had peaked many

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years ago. He walked with a slight limp on his right leg and his arms and head were shaking quite noticeably when he moved forward. After a short walk, the Ape slumped down in an old rocking chain, gave a sigh as he touched his back and then noticeably relaxed while squinting in my direction.

intelligent bipeds that stood 2 feet tall and were known to steal anything they could get their hands on. Usually, they would not dare to get too close, but if no one was paying attention they would certainly try their best. The road further east was more obscure, and even Mr. Olsen had only travelled two times to the bigger town of Simkin. When describing the route there, the old Ape became more focused and had a longing look in his eyes. The road in those parts was not as good, and it would cut through a mountain pass before descending into a dark wood with marches, mosquitoes, and frightening sounds. The journey through this part would take as much as 3 days before opening up again to a plain where the river Magnax would nourish the thriving town of Simkin. Simkin was the last place where Mr. Olsen felt some confidence in travelling to. The Apes here were more savage and brute and were ruled by an Ape chieftain that was rumoured to be ruthless to those who did not obey the local rules. The problem in those parts were that several sentient species were calling it home, and this led to conflict and racism.

When asking for information about the land to the east, it was clear that Mr. Olsen had been on many expeditions to this place, but even he had only a limited knowledge of specific details. The first thing he warned was that this land was nothing like here in Daark East or any of the 34 other districts. It was a place of strange beings, of savage Apes and fragmented leadership. Monsters were roaming the sands and the forests and magic was not a thing of myth, but very real. He explained that the Daark Apes had long ago built a district beyond the chasm to organise civilisation in a proper manner. Many of the Apes of old preferred to stay on the other side and would continue living in their towns and hamlets scattered around the land. To keep communication and trade going, a bridge was built from Society to the old lands. To this day, it is the only way to travel between the two places I was explained that the closest town to the east was a trading post called “Western point”. It was a smallish settlement with primarily bartering Apes trading to and from Daark East and the further lands. It would take a day’s ride or so in cart to get there. It would be fairly safe on that particular route as it was frequented by both military Apes and merchant Apes regularly. The landscape was that of grass fields and small lakes. He did warn of some pesky little beings called “Brownkins” though. Apparently, these were some sort of half

I was very intrigued to learn that there were two other intelligent species living in the town. The Apes of course were the main group, but you also had a species of smaller Ape like beings called the Dwargs. Standing at only 3-4 feet and having a greenish complexion in their fur, these Apes made up for their lack of height with pure fury. Apart from being very easily agitated they were known as excellent craftsmen as well as excellent drinkers of strong beverages. The third species that inhabited the town also looked like Apes, but had almost no fur at all, except on their heads. They were not too strong but were known as good scholars

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and were considered highly intelligent. They were known as the Beasties.

helpers and his litter. When discussing the events of the day while feasting on some amazing food I learned that Landon had again further familiarised himself with the wildlife of the area. He had met up with some local hunters and learned that meat was a staple of the local diet. It seemed that the south part of Daark East did not have the agricultural scene of its Doork counterpart, but rather had more wild nature with lots of game. According to Landon there were more than ten different animals that were commonly hunted for food. The delicious Bitogator that we had yesterday was one of the more commonly hunted animals as they were rather abundant. Today we feasted on a pork-like animal that was the approximate size of an average dog. It was an easy catch according to Landon. What made it so delicious was not just the meat itself but the seasoning. Granger had made some excellent contacts in the spice trade today and was given some free samples as a gesture of good faith. It really tasted quite amazing, and as I understood it from the merchant, this spice came from the east of Daark east.

Mr. Olsen told of many things in this world. Beyond Simkin there were more rumours than facts, but it seemed all the info became more obscure at this point. He told of monsters that could turn into trees, dragons in the mountains and magic books that could perform all the feats imaginable. He also told of enormous riches. Gemstones, gold, and ancient treasure. There were legends of technology that were hidden deep in the wastelands and also precious wares such as fine cloth, spices, and furs. It seemed this land was full of legends. How much of it was true, well I don’t know, but it very much felt like an interesting place to discover. After what seemed to be several hours, I thanked Mr. Olsen for his time and found my own way out of the curious shop. The daylight had already started to fade, and I hurried through the narrow streets of Daark East back to our camp. I was hoping the other Apes had returned and that some lovely meat was cooking on a spit on the fire. As I closed in on camp my nose picked up the most amazing scents. The savoury smell of meat roasting, but mixed with something sweet, it seemed food was cooking for sure. As I walked towards the light of the fire, I could see Granger and Landon sitting in close proximity tending to the food. I first enquired if they had seen Dover and Alfonso this afternoon, but unfortunately, they had not. I was worried that something might have befallen Dover. He was such a distracted Ape. The thought crossed me that he was lost somewhere. Alfonso, I was not so worried about. After all he already had so many connections in the city, and he had the

That night we were sitting beneath the clear sky, looking at the stars and waiting for any news on Dover and Alfonso. Granger had a late-night puff of his cigars while Landon fell asleep and instantly started his incessant cacophony. I felt increasingly worried that something had happened to the two missing Apes.

Day 4. The missing Apes and the great escape. Dear Diary, The morning started early. I did not get too much sleep. This time it was not Landon who

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kept me awake, but the constant thought of what had happened to our artist and royal advisor. Before the sun had peaked over the horizon, I had prepared some breakfast and was ready to wake up the other two Apes. It seemed obvious that today’s activity would revolve around finding the missing members. Before I could make the effort to wake up the crew, I spotted two Apes who were sprinting towards the camp. They were flailing their arms and seemed to have urgent business. As they approached, I realised that it was two of our assistant Apes that came in. They were wheezing from lack of breath and exhaustingly fell to the ground as they reached the camp. A few seconds later when they had regained some of their stamina, I was shocked to learn that the emperor’s office of Daark East had thrown Alfonso in jail. The helpers told me that he apparently had demanded an audience with the emperor and that their staff had not taken the request seriously enough for Alfonso. After waiting more than an hour he had lost all patience and barged through the reception of the palace to greet the emperor. Naturally, the guards did not consider this action an amiable one and immediately threw themselves over him and carried him off to the dungeons. As the assistant Apes were telling their story they were now turning white with horror as they did not know what to do. I thought this incident was rather sad, but when turning around I could see the heads of Granger and Landon poking out through the opening of their tents. They seemed to be sniggering among themselves. The road to the emperor’s palace was not too long. The previous days I had gone towards the western parts of Daark East, but this time the route was going north. Granger and Landon were joining our crew that was led

by the assistant Apes that had now regained their breath and were hurrying us towards the palace at Emperorswood Avenue. It was clear that the northern part of Daark East was the most wealthy area. Many stately Chateaus and estates could be seen along the route north of the monastery. There were well kept parks, gardens and small lakes and streams in this part of the district. It was all rather pleasant. Were it not for the seriousness of the situation I would rather have enjoyed this walk in the lovely landscape of this place. Granger had already spent a few days in this area and took a small detour to a cigar shop he had found the previous day. He said that he felt very naked if he did not have at least two spare packs on him at any given time. Landon had not been to this part before and seemed rather unimpressed by the magnificent buildings. He spent most of the walk practicing his marching skills and even tried to pull out his harmonica. Luckily Granger coughed so loud when hearing the horrible sound that I think Landon understood that he better practice during more private circumstances. My feeling was that Landon was most content if he could be where the action was. As we approached the mighty palace of the emperor it was clear to see that this was a place of much wealth and prosperity. Chatting to the assistants we had learned that this world had the same general arrangement as our own. The Tang family worked almost as our own de’ Medici. The head of the Tang family, Qin Shi Huang Tang, would keep his residence in Daark East and would wield his influence over all the 34 other districts where he had placed loyal family members to rule in his absence. Entering the two large gates in front of the palace we were met with a 30-foot-wide

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marbled walking path. On each side of the path there were trees that I did not recognise. They looked somewhat like oak, but they had much larger green/yellow leaves. The trees looked ancient and majestic. The palace itself was an enormous building. It was mostly erected from different types of stone. Some I recognised as marble and alabaster, but a lot of it seemed to be constructed from a mineral I had not seen in Doork East. There were big windows in the wall, and from the look of it the palace had as many as five complete floors. Surely this palace had been built in a way as to awe and intimidate the inferior Apes in the region. Inside the building we were met by quite a few receptionist Apes. They were scurrying around looking very busy. When inquiring if we could see the emperor to discuss the arrest of our diplomatic contact, they hurriedly said that the emperor would not be in the palace all day. We also learned that the palace prison was indeed not located in the palace at all, but rather some distance from the grounds we were currently standing on, close to the border of Biroont to the west. When suggesting to Granger that we should quickly walk over to the prison he puffed out a gray cloud of smoke from his mouth and said that it was completely out of the question. He had done enough walking for the entire week, and on top of that he had not had anything to eat in two hours, so more acute needs had to be satisfied before we took this business with prison any further. To quickly remedy the situation with transport and sustenance we sent the assistants running out to see what could be arranged. Granger looked somewhat grumpy as his stomach was now making loud gnarly noises between his smoke inhalations. Landon on the other hand had found out that the receptionists looked

too wimpy for his taste, so he took amusement in flexing his muscles while blowing in his harmonica now and again. The result was that the receptionists jumped every time they heard the infernal noise of his instrument. Landon would roar out with laughter every time they jumped. I found this exercise to be somewhat infantile, but he seemed to be reasonably amused, so I did not interject. Some fifteen minutes later the assistants came running back. They had good news and reasonably good news. The good news was that a cart was prepared for us outside the building, and the reasonably good news was that they had found a restaurant that was about fifteen minutes away. Landon and I were happy to hear about this arrangement, but Granger was now in a foul mood and was adamant that the latter should be classified as horrible news. Regardless of sentiment we all trudged out of the palace and stepped into a rather nice coach that was pulled by as many as six horses. After listening to Granger complain loudly for fifteen minutes and very loudly for one last minute, we finally pulled up at a restaurant on Emperorswood Avenue. It was a quaint little place that lay in the clearing between two wooded areas. A rather odd place for a restaurant we thought, but it looked nice with smoke curdling up from the chimney and light shining through the windows. The smell of roast meat sealed the deal for Granger. We did not know that the large Ape could move with this speed, but he was out of the cart and into the restaurant before any of us could move. The Military officer and I descended from the transport in a more leisurely way and looked up at the plaque outside the restaurant before we opened the door. “Enchanting Experiences”

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was the name of the place. In the small prints below read: “If you wish to immerse yourself in the inner experience and let yourself free, ask for our special stew”. As we opened the door, we saw that Granger was already seated at a table and it looked like he had grabbed everything edible behind the bar. He had temporarily put out his cigar and was now holding a spoon in each hand as he stuffed everything he could get hold of into his face. Behind the bar, two young Apes with chef hats looked at Granger with big eyes. One of them tried to yell to Granger that he had to be careful with the special stew, but it seemed the merchant was in a world of his own and could only focus on the eating. Seeing that it was difficult to conduct any kind of meaningful conversation with the Ape, the two chefs turned to us and asked if this was our friend. When we acknowledged the fact, they pleaded that we intervene, as they did not know what would happen if one Ape ate the entire pot of special stew. It turned out that it had some very peculiar ingredients and was rather potent. Unfortunately, our intervention would not have worked as the entire pot was empty before we reached the table. Granger looked at us with a smile, put his spoon in his mouth and tried to light it with his matches. After that he fell over backwards and started howling like an owl. The barkeepers rushed over to the Ape who was now laying on his back arms and legs kicking. They claimed that it was the second time today that this very thing had happened. Curiously enough, another foreign Ape had come in earlier in the day and had also tried the special stew in a hurry. He was now lying in the back room for cool down. The innkeepers thought it would be best to remove Granger from the main hall as well, so they proceeded

dragging the catatonic Ape across the floor. In the backroom we received a major surprise. Among the casks of ale and firewood a half sleeping Ape in a sorry state was moaning softly while rubbing his temples. To my joy we had by chance happened on Dover Cox! I had been worried sick, but now at least he was located. As Granger was put to rest in a corner, our focus shifted to Dover. The artist seemed to be vaguely aware of our presence but was only able to give out some muffled moans. I quickly came to know that getting Apes back to their senses was one of Landon’s many skills. He walked over to the kitchen, came back with a bucket of water, and poured the icy substance over the Ape. Dover’s eyes were now wide open, just in him to see the back of Landon’s hand hitting him in the face. Landon gave off a satisfied grin as Dover jumped to his feet and was running for cover. A few seconds later the artist had regained all his senses and was able to calm down. A few minutes later we learned what had happened with Dover the previous day. His flute playing had landed him some credit with the local Apes, and he was asked by the band members if he would like to join them for a few drinks after they were done. Dover had been in such a good mood that he had forgotten everything about our camp and had gone with his new Ape friends. The new Apes appreciated his flute skills, and he continued playing at the local bar where they ended up. The barman was ecstatic, as the live performance drove in more than fifty Apes to his establishment. Dover would be allowed to drink as much as he wanted from the bar, and even received some money from the local Apes as tips for his performance. It was all a lot of fun, but

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things had turned more complicated later in the evening. In the late hours, Dover had caught the eye of a rather attractive female Ape sitting in the corner of the bar. He decided to approach her and played his most alluring serenades to attract the female. In a blur of drunkenness and hormones, Dover left the bar, closely holding his newly acquainted friend while giving her a kiss or two. As it were, the husband of his female companion was outside the tavern looking for his wife, and he did not take too kindly Dover’s advances. The artist Ape barely managed to dodge the now furious husband charging headfirst towards him. By dumb luck, the raging Ape managed to miss Dover and rammed his head into the wall next to them. This gave Dover enough time to flee. As he ran, he blew a kiss to the now embarrassed female and scurried away in a random direction. After running for more than ten minutes, Dover thought he had lost his potential pursuer and relaxed a bit. The problem was of course that he now had absolutely no idea where he was. It was getting dark, and he was getting hungry as the alcohol in his system started to lose its effect. After walking for what he thought was at least an hour, he spotted a nice tavern with lights coming from the windows. It turned out that he had found the same tavern as us. He then proceeded to ask for the special stew and made the same mistake as poor Granger. He paid all the money he had been given and consumed the whole bowl of stew. The next thing he remembered after that was being rudely awoken by Landon. After briefing Dover on the situation with Alfonso, we found it would be best to leave Granger at the restaurant for the time being and then proceed to sort out the predicament

in the jail. Before we left, we made sure to get some sustenance, but avoided anything that even looked remotely like stew. Luckily, the drive to the jail did not take us too long. After getting through the forestry area where the restaurant was located, the landscape opened up and consisted mostly of villas and stately manors. Indeed, it looked like this was a neighbourhood you would be proud of living in. The jail complex was huge. The building looked like a chateau, but it was all gray on the outside. Several smaller buildings were scattered around the area. Perhaps it was living quarters for the staff, or maybe they had segregated the more dangerous felons in the main building? As we rode up to the main gates of the prison, we were met by two rather unintelligent looking Apes. They were both wearing uniforms with the emperors’ colours and had pikes that they used to block the road leading into the main building. By the looks of it, not much had happened that day. They were half sleeping while leaning against their pikes as they saw us approaching. Landon, who was most familiar with Apes in uniforms, immediately tried to bark orders at the guards to let us in. It did not work very well. One of the Apes looked at Landon with a bored expression, wiped some snot off his face and told him that we needed permission from General Jason De Jong before we could see any prisoners in the camp. As we had no idea who General Jason De Jong was, we asked if he would come around here later in the day. The guards only shrugged, but after some more yelling from Landon we actually learned that one of the buildings on the compound was the home of General De Jong. It turned out that he was not in just now, but since the guards were getting very tired of

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148 Illustration: Théo Best (Crispy)

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Landon’s barking we would be allowed to wait for the General in the building adjacent to the General’s house. As our helpers negotiated waiting times with our transport, Dover, Landon, and I walked into the waiting room. It was a rather unimpressive room with a desk on the far side and some tables and chairs on the side closest to the entrance. We proceeded to sit down, but almost immediately Dover jumped up, pointed at the desk, and started shaking. Before we could figure out what had happened, Dover dove for cover under the table and tried to hide himself as well as was possible. When we asked what the problem was, he just reached out a trembling finger from under the table and pointed in the direction of a picture that was situated on the desk at the opposite side. On the table there was a picture of a handsome male Ape with a golden helmet and a nice curly moustache. He was closely holding a smiling lady Ape with a peculiar looking bonnet and thick glasses. To our horror we learned from a trembling Dover that the lady in the photo was actually his friend from last night, and the man was her jealous husband. Landon did not catch on at once, but as soon as I explained to him that the Ape on the picture most likely was the General, it would not look good on Dover or our prospects of getting Alfonso out of prison if we remained here much longer. Landon deliberated a few seconds and agreed that this probably was the case and that we should move Dover out of the building rather quickly. Just as we were about to evacuate a panicked Dover, we heard some commotion outside the building. Footsteps were closing in. I looked at Landon and ran over to the door to block anyone from entering. Landon caught on quickly and opened the window on the side of

the room. With speed I have never in my life seen, Landon grabbed Dover by his shirt and flung him out the window. The Apes on the other side were moving the handle of the door as the military officer was about to close the window. At that time, I unblocked the door and we both looked as nonchalantly as possible as the Ape in the picture walked into the room. The General was in a sour mood. He told us that he had not slept well last night and that we should state our business quickly and be gone. The Ape was a menacing creature and looked very much like a general. Since Landon was of the same breed, it seemed natural that he should lead the conversation. He explained what had happened to Alfonso and that it was a big misunderstanding. After that he demanded that the General should release our Royal Advisor immediately and that we would then be on our way. Unfortunately, this blunt speech from Landon did not sit well with General De Jong. He got up from his seat behind the desk and measured Landon up and down. After that, he grinned at Landon and told him that an offense towards the emperor was a rather serious crime, and that he could not do anything about it. That was, unless we were willing to pay a small fee to him directly, in cash, right there and then. It was at this point that I learned that Landon had a very peculiar sense of right and wrong. Corruption was the one thing Landon could not cope with at all. He told this to the general in a very explicit way, blew on his harmonica and pummeled the helmet of the general so hard that it got stuck over his eyes. At that point the now furious general called his guards, and we were escorted out of the building and thrown back out on the street. After this rather unfortunate incident we

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convened back at our transport where we found Dover hiding under a heap of blankets that he had gotten from the assistants. He was still shaking from fear when we arrived, and Landon was shaking from anger. It was not an ideal situation we had gotten ourselves into. As we were sitting there pondering our next move, Dover took out his flute to try and calm his nerves. He was playing a happy tune and to my surprise Landon started nodding his head, slowly at first, then more eagerly. After some time, he was laughing out loud, got to his feet and patted Dover on his back. He had devised a plan. When hearing what the plan consisted of, Dover grew pale as a snowman and furiously shook his head. He refused to take any part of this suicide mission. The idea was that we would wait until late in the evening, sneak past the lazy guards outside the compound. Then Dover would go outside the bedroom of Mr. and Mrs. De Jong where he would play some sweet serenades on his flutes. The idea was that Jason De Jong would be so infuriated that he would sprint out after Dover. To make it less likely that Dover would be caught, and killed by the General, I was to set up tripwires on the path back. When all this took place, Landon would sneak into the vacant cabin and look for the master key to the prison. When he had it, he would go to the main building and break Alfonso out. Landon was proud of himself. It was an excellent plan in his mind, and he was sure it would succeed. I will say this about our military officer, he sure is a brave Ape. After staring at Dover with determined eyes for several minutes, the artist finally broke down and reluctantly agreed to go along with the plan. After all, he had managed to escape from the General once already.

As the sun set to the west and the darkness drew closer, we set our little plan in motion. The first part went smoothly. The Apes guarding the entrance had fallen asleep, so we could easily walk past them. We then agreed on the retreat path back to our transport and set the tripwires. The idea was that I would then go back and keep the transport ready for evacuation of Dover when he came running. We would drive off into the woods where we had previously been at the restaurant and pick up Landon and Alfonso in the clearing. After that we would fetch Granger and ride off as soon and fast as possible. When the wires were up, I went back to the transport. I felt very nervous as the assistants made every attempt to make the cart ready to leave at a second’s notice. I sat still and listened. Nothing could be heard except the occasional snores from the guard Apes at the gate. After a few minutes I could swear that I heard some faint flute sounds in the distance. It only lasted a minute or so, and then I was sure that I heard a high-pitched scream from Dover that was followed by some very loud and obscene swearing. The scream from Dover came closer as the profanity also increased from somewhere behind him. Soon after I could hear a thud and then only Dover’s screams. It worked. The artist came running towards the cart and I motioned the assistants to get the transport moving. The guards had now also returned from their slumber and looked confused around for clues as to what was going on. Fortunately, Dover dashed past them before they could react and jumped onto the cart. We rode off in a hurry and were gone before our pursuers could react. We reached the clearing after a short while and hid ourselves off the main path so as not

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Illustration: Tranter Roberts

to draw attention. It did not seem to be a big problem though, as this stretch of the road saw little traffic at night. At this time Dover was a nervous wreck. All he could do was sit under the blankets in the cart and hum silently

to himself. I was not too worried about that but started to worry that something had gone wrong with Landon and Alfonso. It had now been more than one hour since we had arrived at the designated rendez-vous. I was pacing

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back and forth but could do little more than wait. After one and a half hours I finally heard something. It was a squeaky sound. As it drew closer, I could see that it was Landon. My spirits lifted immediately as the Ape had made it, but I thought it very strange that he was rolling a wheelbarrow in front of him. On closer inspection, I discovered that the wheelbarrow contained Alfonso, or what remained of him in any case. His head had been separated from his torso and both his arms and legs were lying scattered around in the bottom of the wheelbarrow. As I was gawking at this horrible sight the head of Alfonso opened its eyes and told me to help gather his parts so we could get out of there. As we drove away, we stopped by the restaurant from earlier and picked up a still sleeping Granger. On the way back to our camp we learned from Landon that he had encountered some problems when breaking Alfonso out of the cell. As he was sneaking into the cottage of General De Jong, he met with his Mrs. who told him that there were no jail keys there, but that there might be some in the prison building. She also said that she sent her regards to Dover and hoped to see him again soon. Landon ran over to the prison building and quickly found Alfonso moping in a rather plain cell. He had not found any keys though. But the military officer was very strong, and had managed to slightly bend some of the bars of the cell and that made it almost possible for Alfonso to squeeze through. Unfortunately, it did not work. It was Alfonso that then suggested that they should disassemble the body parts and slide them through the gaps. They could always sew the zombie Ape back together at a later stage. Landon had liked the idea and ripped the arms, legs, and head of

Alfonso. That way they managed to get him out. The wheelbarrow had conveniently been placed outside the prison and was an excellent tool for zombie transportation. It was the middle of the night before we reached back to our camp. What a day. Let’s not hope we will have this much trouble every day going forward.

Day 5. Divergence of opinions and clever plots. Dear Diary, Not waking up to Landon’s false harmonica attempts was refreshing. The whole camp slept in as it had been an extremely taxing day yesterday for all of us. It was around noon when the camp started to come to life. Our assistants had brought fresh supplies through the portal and had set up a lovely breakfast table for us. Freshly baked bread, ripe strawberries from the fields on southern Doork, and some of my very favourite cheeses. The smell of the feast had even gotten Granger out of his comatose state. He emerged from his tent looking only slightly better than Alfonso. His hair was out of place and his eyes had a deep red colour. For once he had even emerged from the tent without the telltale lit cigar between his teeth. As he passed me on the way to the table, he nodded, grunted in acknowledgement, and began digging in. Alfonso was also starting to look slightly better. The assistants had found some needle and tread and had already sewed back on Alfonso’s head and arms. I was curious to learn how it was possible that all his limbs worked perfectly after they had been severed, but apparently Alfonso didn’t know himself. He had frequently lost limbs though, so for

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him it was not a big deal. He did say that he was not too happy about Landon and his mode of transportation from the cell though. Wheelbarrow transport was not worthy of a bonafide royal advisor, he opined. As he told me this, he gazed carefully over at Landon. I think he was actually grateful to the Military Officer for his daring escape but would not admit to it in public. By the looks of it, Landon seemed very pleased with himself at least. And I must admit, I had gained a lot of respect for our Military Officer for his efforts the previous day. Dover was now also sitting at the table, nibbling on a few grapes, and greedily consuming the provided wine that the assistants had served. He even had regained some of colour from last night, but he kept looking over his shoulder, seemingly expecting to see General De Jong at any second. The breakfast continued without too much talking. As we were sitting there, I realised that we had actually not made any significant progress on our exploration. Sure, we had explored a fair bit of Daark East, but I felt it was now time that we seriously considered moving on to more interesting adventures. When everyone had finished their meal, I brought up the prospect of exploring the area to the east of Daark East. I pulled out the map that I had previously been given and spread it out across the table. For me the obvious next step would be to go to the area outside the districts. To my surprise, my petition to go this route did not garner a huge amount of support. Alfonso claimed that he did not see any real benefit of going out into the wilderness when the real centre of political power seemed to be based right here in Daark East. He agreed that he had encountered some minor setbacks on the way, but to him an audience with the

emperor was his main priority. He preferred to stay here and take his chances again. Granger on the other hand viewed the districts to the west of Daark East with some keen interest. Places like Talisman City, Schnickelnag, East and West Crude sounded like places where a merchant could make some serious trades. In his opinion, the areas to the east could hold nothing at all, as all we had so far were just tall tales from octogenarian Apes about perceived riches. A slightly tipsy Dover didn’t like the idea of going east at all. He claimed that Daark East was scary enough as it was. Venturing into the unknown could hold all kinds of dangers, and in his view, we did not know if there were any female Apes or taverns in the area. He would rather stay put and paint the surroundings of this particular place. According to him it was safer to stay as close to the portal as possible. And if we really had to go exploring, then he suggested we go south in Daark East. At least that was in the opposite direction of where the prison and General De Jong was located. The only Ape that was somewhat intrigued by my proposition was Landon. He was not convinced though as, according to him, he had a lot of fun in this general area. When I proposed we spend the day walking over to the bridge that connected the chasm from Daark East, he agreed to join me. After breakfast, the assistants had now firmly reattached all the remaining limbs of Alfonso. Granger had sufficiently recovered from his outage and was now back to puffing on his cigars. Dover, on the other hand, seemed to have dozed off after emptying the rest of the wine decanters. I had an appointment with Landon to go east and survey the bridge in about an hour, so that gave me some time to think. As the situation was now, it would take

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us nowhere. I needed to think of a way to convince the others to join the expedition east. After all, I was not dealing with the pinnacle of Ape intelligence here. There had to be a way! After being alone with my thoughts for a while, I had come up with a sort of plan. The first order of business was to break down the easiest target. Landon could probably be convinced pretty easily to join on the expedition, I just needed to play to his ego. If I had Landon, I figured it would be easier to get the rest of them to fall in. When walking out of my tent I saw that Alfonso was again barking orders to the assistants. He wanted the litter back in service as he again would attempt to go back to the royal palace to try and find the emperor. I walked over to him and tried to talk him out of it, on account of what happened last night, but he would hear nothing of it. I shrugged and turned around. At the breakfast table Landon and Granger were sitting talking. Granger had planned to revisit a merchant he had met the other day to discuss resources and potential trade with the other districts. Today he had packed a big bag of emergency rations, just in case. He would not risk the local restaurants anymore, as he felt they could not be trusted. When we had said our goodbyes to the enterprising Apes, Landon and I started walking east. To get to the chasm we needed to walk around the huge cliffs of the Daark monastery. We found that the easiest way around was the southern route. None of us had walked this way before, and it was refreshing to see some new scenery. On the south side of the cliffs the city was spread thinner, and it looked rural of sorts. The swamp to the south probably did not make for an attractive place to live due to the many bugs and critters that were scurrying and flying around everywhere.

Regardless, there were many smaller huts as well as more densely populated areas around small town squares. A nice and quiet place away from the constant noise of the central city. When looking to the north into the cliffs of the monastery we could see all kinds of openings high up on the wall. We could not make out if it was windows, cave openings or some kind of ventilation system, but we did see shadows moving back and forth inside. It was a curious observation that I specifically noted in my book. We needed to find out more about this cliff and the monastery at its peak. After some walking, the landscape opened up more. We had passed the south side of the cliff and the sun from the north again hit our faces. The swampy surroundings had also ended, and this part of Daark East was completely flat, almost without any trees. Again, the place looked more like a city. Buildings and habitats were erected very close to each other, and Apes were running around on their daily business all around us. We walked through the city on the main road leading past the city. Imperial Place, the signs hanging on the side of the road indicated. Curious. Our road on the same stretch was called Regent Place. Everything here in Daark East was strange, but yet it had a feel of a slightly different Doork East. A short while later the buildings ended, the landscape opened up completely and we could see the chasm and the bridge. It was an amazing sight. The gorge was several hundred feet deep, and we could hear the roaring water at the bottom of the canyon rush past at high speed. The chasm was wide. It’s hard to estimate the exact width, but it must be at least five hundred feet. It seemed to run north/south in an almost straight line. It was as if it was made that way intentionally. The bridge running over the chasm was a sight to behold. Two large towers

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on each side of the chasm had been erected. Wires from each tower held up an impressive stone arch that stretched across the width. As we approached the tower, we noticed that it was guarded by several military Apes. An Ape with a hat similar to General De Jong was leaning against some scaffolds while smoking his pipe. We approached the Ape and introduced ourselves. It turned out that this Ape was also a general. He shook our hands and presented himself as Goodwyn Jansen. A very friendly and helpful fellow. He explained that the traffic across the bridge was not too heavy. They would usually have some trade caravans going back and forth to the trading posts, but mostly the Apes in the district kept themselves there. The same was true for the native Apes out in the wild. They seldom wanted to take part in the city civilisation. This did not mean that they were not alert though. Sometimes raiding parties from the wild cities to the east would venture close, and pillage and loot what they could get their hands on. The Jansen family was bestowed the honour of guarding the bridge by the emperor himself, and the pay was rather good as well apparently. The General even showed us how the bridge was laden with dynamite. This was a precaution, should there ever be hoards of Apes trying to invade. Goodwyn did not think that would ever happen though. The cities on the other side were smaller, and the clans and chieftains usually kept busy warring and bickering between themselves. While we were standing on the edge of the bridge and gazed out over the plains on the other side, I felt it was time that I swayed the opinion of Landon. To my surprise it was very easy. I had planned to tell some half truths about how medals for bravery could be won

by wrestling the foreign Apes, that they had weapons on the other side that had legendary properties and that monsters that never had been defeated by Apes lay lurking behind each and every corner. I am sure that would have helped, but all it took to convince him was that the barren plains that lay ahead would probably annoy Alfonso something terrible. When I said that in a bi-sentence, Landon burst out in a roar, and said that it is settled. He blew a tune on his harmonica and looked rather pleased that he had now found a way to annoy Alfonso further. Being relieved that I now had one ally in my effort to travel east, we discussed how we should convince the others. We reckoned it should not be too hard to force Alfonso as he was a wanted Ape after all. I had already planned to tip someone off that Alfonso was in the northern district. I figured that if he knew General De Jong was onto him, he would be forced to retreat. I was even willing to give up our location so that we were forced to flee. The two easiest options then for Alfonso would be to travel back through the portal and admit failure to King Monet or just join the rest of us for a glorious expedition, and hopefully gain fame and fortune on the way. If we could get Alfonso to sway his opinion, we knew that Dover would relent as well. It was always the chance that he went back through the portal, but that was a chance we were willing to take. Besides, we were going to say that the female Apes outside the districts were more attractive than the ones inside, and that they very much liked the strange Apes coming from foreign lands. That might seal the deal. Granger would be a toucher nut to crack. He was the brightest among them, so if we were to tip the scales on that Ape, we really needed something good.

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It probably was our lucky day. It seemed almost all our problems could potentially be solved through our new military friend at the bridge. As we were talking about going east, we happened to mention Alfonso and his run-in with the De Jong General. As luck would have it, the two generals despised each other. According to Goodwyn, the other Ape was the most inept and corrupted oaf in the force. Goodwyn would be more than happy to help lead him on a wild goose chase to help us out. Landon seemed in a very good mood when he heard the description. To make this as realistic as possible, General Jansen would send one of his men over to the De Jong office, reporting that he had seen the fugitive and that he had the camp location where he would go. Of course, he would not divulge the exact location, but somewhere close by, at least close enough that Alfonso felt the heat and would retreat back to camp. A young private Ape was briefed by the general and ran away shortly after. It would take him a couple of hours to reach the place, but the attention should be on Alfonso quite some time before supper. To entice Granger, again Goodwyn had something that might work. It seemed that a common scam from the Apes on the other side was to make up fake treasure maps and try to sell them in the districts. The crafts Apes to the east were excellent at making fine looking parchment with beautiful, detailed drawings of chests full of gold bars and diamonds. They would also give an exact location for where the treasure could be found, and it even laid out the exact content of the loot. Goodwyn had confiscated dozens of these maps and would happily give us a bunch. We browsed through all of them and picked the best-looking maps with the most amount of buried treasure. Our plan was to tell Granger that we had bought these maps

off an old merchant for an obscene amount of money, and that we would all share part of the loot if we pulled in the same direction. The story had some obvious flaws, but we hoped that the greed of the merchant would cloud his judgment, and that he would relent. We now felt that we had everything we needed for the setup and thanked Mr. Jansen dearly. Landon gave the general a hard pat on the back before we turned around and started the walk back to our camp. The sun was still up when we got back. The assistants roamed around, cleaning up our mess from earlier and were restocking the supplies. By a large oak tree close to our tents, we found Dover behind a canvas. He was sitting there quietly making a rather beautiful depiction of what looked like the events from the previous day. We noticed a large decanter of wine next to him and by the looks of his eyes he had finished his fair share of the red delight during the day. He looked rather calm now and explained that capturing traumatic experiences on canvas would make them leave his very spirit. Both Landon and I were not quite sure if the painting depicted the actual event of last night though. What we saw on the picture was a happy flute playing Dover outside the prison compound. A female Ape was blowing kisses to him from a window while a very small ugly looking Ape was fuming in the background. At least the picture was well made. While we were waiting for the other Apes, I gently told Dover about our day and snuck in a line or two about the beautiful Apes on the east side of the gorge. By the looks of it he made a mental note of this in the back of his head, but his mind was fleeting from the massive amounts of wine, and he was no longer afraid of the general. I hoped that would change when Alfonso came back.

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To pass the time while waiting for the others, Landon would go just outside the camp and practice his harmonica. I was relieved that he went far enough away so I couldn’t hear anything. I had set up my maps on a table at the centre of the camp. Along with them, the treasure maps were laid out as bait for Granger. I made sure that the most enticing maps with the largest loot would be placed where it would catch the eye of the merchant. It was nice to have some time to myself and enjoy the sun, just listening to the sounds from the camp. The chatter of the assistants as they were running around, the hiccups of a now completely intoxicated Dover and the chirps and cries of the many birds that inhabited this area. As I was sitting there daydreaming, I heard footsteps approaching. Before I could see the Ape in person, it was very obvious that it was Granger that had returned to the camp. They say that reputation precedes you, well, in Granger’s case it was cigar smoke.

and myself had spent on these maps. I tried to leverage the value of the loot with the potential trade agreements we could find to the east and the potential exclusive trading rights we might receive from King Monet if we went that route. Unfortunately, I could see the scepticism in the eyes of Granger. He was an astute trader and had probably been pitched ideas thousands of times before. He did, however, say that he would spend the next few hours running numbers, and if the journey east would provide enough excess theoretical profits, he would consider it. Now, I just had to wait, and hope that it would work.

Before I could show the maps to Granger, he had removed the cigar from his mouth and triumphantly held up a document. He was in a very good mood when he showed me a memorandum of understanding related to a trade agreement with some Apes from the Marblab district. Granger would be able to get large quantities of marble in exchange for hemp from Doork East. On the go he had calculated that the trade would bring in a return of investment of about fifty percent. Granger was so excited about this prospect that he lit up another cigar while not remembering that he had a half smoked one in his other hand. As I was congratulating him on the deal, I tried to draw his attention to the treasure maps on the table. I spun up a tale about guaranteed profits, easy navigation and how much money Landon

To give Granger some space for his studies I retreated out of the camp to locate Landon. As I was walking out, I noticed Dover had now fallen asleep close to his canvas. Most likely a combination of adrenalin still flowing, and wine that was no longer flowing. Finding our military officer was not too hard. Walking only five minutes south, I heard some awful harmonica tunes coming from the direction of a small swampy pond. Landon probably realised now that Apes were not too keen on his musical talents, but here by the swaps several Bitogators had gathered around to listen to his talents. As I joined him by the lake I updated him on the situation, and we decided to sit in peace for some time, just enjoying the scenery before heading back. When the sun was a few inches over the horizon we thought it would be a good time to return to the camp. Enough hours should have now passed that General De Jong’s men would be on the heels of Alfonso. Granger had also had some time to contemplate his next moves. As we walked into the camp, we encountered a few of the assistants that had returned from the north. The litter that they had used to

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carry Alfonso was lying next to them. When we asked what had happened, they said with wide eyes and trembling voices that several patrols had handed out wanted posters with the likeness of Alfonso. They had also seen armed patrols looking for them. To not get too much attention to the party, even Alfonso had realised that he would be a sitting duck in the litter. The assistants were told to go along, and Alfonso would follow. It had been ten minutes since the assistants arrived, so they were praying that the royal advisor was here soon and that he had not been recaptured. I gave Landon a knowing sign and was pleased that the plan was working so far. It did not take long before an out of breath Alfonso came crashing into the camp. He immediately ran into his luxurious tent, breathed heavily for about a minute, and came out to tell us that as the chief of this operation he demanded that our next course of action would be to take the route east. According to him, the local authorities were lacking common courtesy for foreign diplomats, and he could no longer recommend cooperating with them. Playing along with his game, Landon and I nodded in agreement and wasted no time getting to our fourth member. Dover was sleeping by his canvas still and we abruptly shook him awake and told him with an urgent voice that General De Jong most likely had found our camp and it was just a matter of time before they got here. The artist did not like this at all. His face turned white while he tried to get his brain working again. Landon said that the only course of action not to be found was to take the road east as soon as possible. At this point Dover panicked and ran through the portal back to Doork East. The last Ape in the group turned out to be the

hardest nut to crack. Granger had been sitting for a few hours crunching numbers. He had calculated the marble trade against the risks and profit potential of the eastern route. His conclusion was that he could theoretically make three times the money going the eastern route, but that was assuming the maps were real. He said that he had doubts about that and that as the situation was now, he would rather trade marble. He puffed on his cigar, crossed his arms a limbo and eyed us with resolve. Our spirits sank then, we needed the merchant Ape to come. We could not complete the exploration journey with only three members. Again though, we were in luck. As Granger had made his speech Alfonso was looking back towards the gate to Doork East and asked a very simple question. “How do you intend to bring large marble slabs through the portal?” As Alfonso said those words, Granger’s cigar fell to the ground, and all he managed was “Shit!”

Day 6. The party moves East! Dear Diary, The events last night had gone in our favour. The four of us had agreed that we needed to travel east, and with great speed. We were sure that General De Jong would find our location eventually, and then it was back to the cells with Alfonso at the very least. To our surprise, Dover had reappeared through the portal during the night. He was now wearing glasses and a top hat as a disguise. He told us that he had changed his mind during the night and felt he could not let his comrades down. We were all pleased that he had changed his mind but were pretty sure that the allure of the female Apes to the east was the real reason.

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Our party had not wasted any time the night before. We had already planned out the details of what we needed and sent the assistants to sort out the details. Alfonso clearly stated that he needed two carts. One for him to sit in and one for his supplies. The transport cart needed to have a roof, and it should be pulled by horses. He did not care how the other cart was pulled, but it should have space for all the luxuries that he deemed necessary for the travels. That included a tent he could stand up in, woollen blankets and goose feather pillows as well as a plethora of exotic foods and drinks that were necessary. Granger agreed that they needed provision. He also had done some calculations as to what they needed to bring the loot home. He wanted three carts. One of them should be filled with food, one of them empty and one of them filled with useful supplies for bartering. Everything from gold bars to trinkets and handicrafts would be loaded in. Landon did not care so much about supplies. He just wanted a horse and would stack everything he needed in the saddlebags. I agreed with Landon. My mission was to explore. I needed my tools, paper and my clothes. Everything would fit on the back of a horse or mule. Dover was on the side with Alfonso and had demanded some modicum of luxury. He wanted a closed-up wagon that he could have all his canvases, papers, and clothing in. He also said that he did not like to get wet, so it would suit him fine to sit under a roof when it was raining. So, in total we needed six carts and quite some horses for our expedition. We only had time for a simple breakfast in the morning. Our assistants were busy sourcing all the material for our journey, and we were eager to be on our way. Alfonso looked to be

out of his comfort zone as soon as the sun had risen over the horizon. He would not admit it, but he looked very nervous. At lunchtime everything was set up. The carts were made ready, and we wasted no time lingering about in the camp. There was no sign of De Jong’s men as our procession rode out of the camp. After all, we took the less travelled road to the south of the monastery. Several of the local Apes would stop at the sight of us though, it seemed we were a bit of a curiosity travelling east with such a large party. Landon insisted on riding in front of the group, just in case there were any immediate problems that would have to be addressed. The Apes with carts rode in the middle while I was content to bring up the rear. Just as we had passed the eastern side of the monastery cliff, I could hear some shouting from the front of the procession. I rode up to Alfonso and asked what had happened. He did not look too pleased. It seemed Landon had spotted one of De Jong’s men ahead. Before he could react, he had seen the man run off and was now probably already on his way back to report to the general that he had found our position. The advice from Landon was that we picked up pace. It was not that long before we were at the bridge, and it would be unlikely that the general could overtake us if we just kept moving. We all agreed and sped up the cart as much as possible. Both Alfonso and Dover were now hiding in their carts. No doubt nervous that we would not make it in time. The trip through the populated areas to the east went rather well though. It was a bit tricky to fit our encumbered carts through some narrow streets at high speed, but it worked without us losing speed or goods. When the tower of the bridge was in view it felt as if a burden was released from my shoulders.

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We were going to make it! Or so I thought. Just as I was looking back towards the city and the cliffs, I could clearly see riders approaching. There were probably as many as ten of them, and if I was not mistaken, it looked like one of them had the same helmet as General De Jong. Immediately I picked up pace and rode to the front of the column to warn Landon. He spun around and barked orders that the assistants should push the horses as hard as they could. There was only one quarter of a mile left to the bridge. The pursuers were about the same distance behind, but they still had to manoeuvre through the many obstacles on the outskirts of the city and did not move very fast. Dover and Alfonso had also found out what happened and just looked back with big eyes. There was nothing else they could do but hope we would make the bridge in time. At that point I suspected Landon would ride back and fend off the soldiers. I was immediately surprised when I found out that he rode as fast as he could towards the bridge. It did not take long before I realised why though. Just as he got close enough to the tower to signal the soldiers, General Goodwyn Jansen answered the call and got two of his soldiers on horses immediately. At this point, General De Jong had gotten out in open terrain and was gaining on our rear fast. The horses from the bridge were now also in full gallop led by Landon and Goodwyn. The carts were in full motion and were now almost on the bridge. As we reached the bridge with the carts, General Goodwyn had now caught up with the pursuing military officer. He stopped the entire posse and yelled at them in a very clear voice that their jurisdiction ended right there. He ordered them to report any grievances he had with the foreign Apes with him, and he would take it from there. De Jong looked furious as he was

sitting on his horse just a hundred yards away from our carts. He could see both Alfonso and Dover poking their heads out from their carts. He flung his helmet to the ground and started swearing nonstop for what seemed like ages. When he had calmed down, he presented the charges against us to General Jansen. The general looked at the paper, rode back towards us and immediately threw the charges into the chasm while looking straight into the face of De Jong. At that point he pointed a finger at us, turned his horse around and rode away. Instant cheering went off in our camp and Dover did a little jig on the bridge as he was fetching his flute from out of his shirt. Alfonso had regained his composure and went back into his cart. We heard some noises reminiscent of bottles tipping over from inside his cart. After we had all thanked the soldiers on the bridge for their kind help, the time had come to cross over into the unknown. The chasm was a majestic view as we rode across towards the unknown plains on the other side. It took us about an hour to get all the gear across, and we decided that it would be best to set up camp just on the other side of the bridge and plan for the expedition ahead. A few hundred yards into the plain we found a small mound that would shield us somewhat from the winds. We decided to set up camp there. As we unloaded and recalibrated our stocks, we noticed that Granger had gone back to the bridge. We assumed it was to get a last good look at Daark East for a while. In the distance we would see a big cloud of smoke blowing away from the Ape. He then threw his cigar into the chasm and turned around to walk back. The next thing we saw was a big ball of fire rising up from the chasm. After that, the bridge was gone.

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162 Illustration: Théo Best (Crispy)

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164 Illustration: Théo Best (Crispy)

The life of a Stake Pool Operator in Doork East

Unblocked potential Author: Crispy

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It was finished. At long last, after many months of work, the amalgamation of mechanical parts, wires, tubes and gauges, of both known and mysterious origins, had seamlessly been brought together; it was ready. Spencer stood silently before his handiwork which occupied the middle of his workshop. He’d often wondered if he would ever reach this moment. He couldn’t help but grin. “Should we turn it on?” Théo’s voice startled Spencer, snapping his attention away from the device. He’d forgotten Théo was with him, lost as he was in admiration of their accomplishment. It pleased him to know Théo had been present for the final assembly. After all, the idea and plans for the device had only been made possible through a close collaboration with his long time friend and colleague. It felt appropriate for him to be here for this moment. “I suppose we should”, replied Spencer with a shrug, “We’ve come this far. It would be a shame not to see what comes next.” Spencer furrowed his brow before adding a question, “Any idea what it does?” His face expressionless, Théo’s gaze remained fixed on the device. “No idea”, he replied, “Whatever it is though, I’m certain it’s important.”

“You go for it”, came Théo’s reply. “You know what to do.” Turning back to the device, Spencer stepped forward towards the control panel. Various backlit buttons and gauges blinked on and off, flashing alternating patterns of red, green and yellow. As he worked the panel, various parts of the device began springing to life one by one and as Spencer continued punching in a sequence of commands, bit by bit it began to glow from the inside out, shafts of light pouring out in all directions from various cracks and crevices. Brighter and brighter, the light continued filling the room with its warm glow until Spencer could barely see the panel before him anymore, blinded by the intensity of the light shining up into his face. He continued to work, confident in his ability to complete the startup process from memory, fingers nimbly darting across the panel, driven instinctively with the knowledge that he was on the right path. As he entered the final sequence, light permeated everything. Squinting to shield his eyes, bright light now surrounded him everywhere he looked. It overwhelmed and consumed him. Spencer awoke with a start, awareness flooding back to him. Eyes blinking, adjusting to the shaft of daylight from a nearby window blinding him, he raised an arm to shield his eyes. Taking in his surroundings, he could tell it was midday, and he was seated at his workbench, having fallen asleep in his workshop yet again.

Spencer was not inclined to disagree. This did feel important. It was strange to reach this stage of a project, knowing the work was complete, but somehow not being able to recall how he’d done it or what exactly his work had achieved. It was all a blur and the mystery clouding the purpose of the device continued to perplex him even now.

It was not uncommon for Spencer to lose track of time in his pursuits, and while he did prefer the comfort of his own bed to rest, exhaustion would frequently take him before he could bring himself to pause progress on his work. He had lost track of how often this had happened recently, the last few months a bit of a blur with each passing day bleeding indistinguishably into the next.

“Care to do the honours?”, Spencer asked, looking back for a moment at his friend.

Lifting himself from his chair, wincing as he stood up, habitually he worked to stretch out

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the accumulated tension from his awkward sleeping position. He was sore, but felt rested and ready to take on what remained of the day. Easing into wakefulness, he leaned back against his workbench, rubbing away the last vestiges of sleep from his eyes, then pausing a moment, looking across his workshop, he was reminded of all which required his attention. To one side of the room stood an over encumbered desk covered in all sorts of administrative paperwork. Incomplete marketing materials, hastily scrawled notes, loose stamps and list of unfinished tasks all lay scattered about the base of a sizable pile of overdue bills and invoices being held in place by a large stone. Next to this desk was a drafting table, upon which were plans and blueprints for several ongoing projects in development. On the opposite side of the room, the entire length of the wall was lined with sturdy metal shelving. There, numerous boxes and containers held tools and parts meticulously collected and organised over many years. A few shelves held gadgets and contraptions related to his projects in various stages of assembly. Recognition of a few parts reminding him of the completed device from his dream. It felt unfair that what had appeared so simple and obvious moments ago eluded him now. His eyes drifted to the space at the centre of his workshop, confirming what he already knew. There was no device. Instead, a half felted billiards table lay in its place, waiting for the skilled hands of the craftsmen to complete what he’d begun. “Of course it could only have been a dream.”, Spencer thought to himself, letting out an audible sigh. The work he was engaged in with Théo he knew to be real, but the progress remained slow and uncertain, especially in light of Théo’s recent difficulties. It had been frustrating for Spencer who was accustomed to solving most of the technical challenges he encountered with ease. Spencer was convinced he and Théo were missing something obvious, the feeling accentuated each time

following that particular dream. Or maybe he was really just a naïve fool clinging to an illusion of hope. Shaking his head, dismissing the thought, Spencer reached instinctively behind him for the notebook on the shelf above his workbench. Flipping it open, he sifted through his entries from the previous day, slowly making his way to the drafting board. A bit of progress here and there, as usual, but no breakthroughs or obvious leads to pursue. Snapping the notebook shut, tossing onto the nearby desk, he looked up, surveying the board before him for some hint as to where he should direct his attention today. He couldn’t recall when he’d grown numb to the enormity of what he’d undertaken with Théo. Numerous sheets of paper linked together by various bits of string adorned the entirety of the board, spilling over in some places to the walls beyond. Detailed notes, blueprints and documentation, sequences of correspondence, sketches, lists of required components with leads on how to obtain them; the details of many small interconnecting projects woven together in a semi coherent cacophony of ideas. Everywhere Spencer looked, more questions demanding his time, energy and attention. Théo’s muse kept him very busy indeed. This had been the term affectionately coined by both Apes when referring to the voice Théo heard which emanated from a small magnetic device he’d fastened to his head some months ago. While initially, the curious device would mostly only emit static, after an unfortunate close encounter with a lightning strike, the muse had made itself known to Théo. Hammered by a seemingly incomprehensible stream of nonsense flowing through his mind, gradually, with time, Théo made the necessary connections, slowly piecing together the knowledge required to create a stake pool. Spencer had been sceptical at first, but was quickly convinced by the impressive level of detail Théo provided for them to get started. While some aspects of their work remained mysterious, whatever the source of the information, it proved reliable, succeeding in having its message be heard and understood. And thus, Doork Staking

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168 Illustration: Théo Best (Crispy)

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was born. Their early success made them eager to pursue new projects using Théo’s muse to help guide them. Both Apes enjoyed working through the technical challenges of their stake pool and now hoped that their continued work might produce additional benefits for themselves and their pool’s delegators. Through their work, both Apes had come to understand that their operation of a Cardano stake pool had implications which stretched well beyond the simple creation and validation of blocks. Through his muse, Théo gained greater insight into ADA, which he described as being the lifeblood of the Cardano blockchain, and a key element in the fabric of their very existence as Apes. “There is ADA in everything”, he’d said to Spencer one day, “and all things in our world stem from ADA.” Spencer wasn’t quite sure how to interpret this prophetic statement, but the notion remained stuck in his mind whenever he worked on their projects. A persistent itch he could not scratch. Lost to his train of thought, Spencer barely noticed the intermittent sound of something vibrating against metal coming from behind him. Turning to face the curious disturbance, he moved towards the shelves upon which rested smaller devices on which he’d been tinkering recently. A glimmer of motion from one shelf caught his eye. To his surprise, one device, a long hexagonal cylinder of glass and steel no larger than a wine bottle, quivered near the edge of the metal shelf, the label of which read “Defective Parts”. Confused, Spencer picked up the fragile device to inspect it more closely. Inside, he could see that the small inner mechanism of gears, springs and rotors had been set in motion. A second glance to the shelf’s label confirmed the dissonance he’d observed; this device did not appear to be defective at all. Intent on returning to his drafting board to further contextualise this new development, he

stopped short upon hearing the sound of the metal vibrations resume. It should have been obvious that a more careful examination of his drafting board would be easier with the device on hand, he thought, momentarily chastising his absentmindedness before realising he still held the hexagonal device in his hand. The sounds of vibrations grew louder, no longer localised to a single shelf. Soon, devices across the entire workshop we’re springing to life all around him. Flustered, he hurriedly rushed to his workbench in search for his notebook, frantically rummaging about the room, eventually finding it among some stamps on his desk. Pen in hand he rushed about the room jotting down his observations. Hope renewed, perhaps this event would yield the much needed breakthrough he desired. Tik, tik, tik. The rhythmic din of metal striking metal reverberated throughout the room. Accustomed to it, he’d come to find it calmed and soothed him. A punctuating reminder that he was working towards something, even though that something was not all that clear to him at this present moment. Tik, Tik, Chik. With each strike of his hammer, he made progress. Chisel removing stone, gouging the rocky surface of the block he’d obtained for this specific purpose. The thought still amused him. He recalled the confused look on the construction foreman’s face that morning weeks ago. There he stood in Théo’s living room scratching his head, having just been asked to pour a concrete block in the center of it. “You know...”, the foreman paused searching for the right words before drawling on, “I’d heard them military fellahs had been pilferin’ y’alls furniture an’ all, but are you sure craftin’ it out of concrete’s the best solution?”

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along a number of different avenues. “I’m an artist actually.” Théo corrected him. This seemed to relieve the foreman greatly, laying what remaining concerns he might have had to rest. Théo smiled to himself. Tik, Chik, Tik. The inspiration for it had not exactly been his own. While wandering the halls of DE University, he’d overheard a couple of professor’s discussing the writing of a research paper. One had been complaining to the other about his inability to progress further, citing a “writer’s block” as the cause. The sympathetic colleague reassured his fellow Ape that all that was required was to keep chipping away at it and everything would eventually sort itself out in time. Théo was intrigued. Tik, Chik, Chik. Théo was no stranger to sculpting, but this was something different. Whereas sculpting required directed intent towards a specific purpose, Théo simply chipped away aimlessly, bit by bit with no destination in mind. An “artist’s block” better described what Théo was experiencing, but based on what he’d overheard, he hoped there was enough overlap for this technique to work for him as well. His art was his life, after all. Tik, Tik. It surprised him how much he’d come to rely on it. In the months following his shocking incident at the Morris dancing fair on Victoria Grove, he’d experienced new heights of creative satisfaction thanks to his new muse which provided him fresh insights and perspectives on the world around him. With Spencer’s help, he’d founded a stake pool. In the months that followed, when not occupied creating artwork to bring attention to their stake pool, he’d been working closely with Spencer, offloading whatever new information he’d gathered to help advance their ongoing projects

Then one day, it all suddenly stopped. Tik, Chik. Théo knew the device from which his muse originated still functioned. The connection was active, it had just become fuzzier, feeling more distant than before. He could discern enough to know it wasn’t static, but could not make out what it had to say to him anymore. Imperceptible as it was now, it felt as though he’d lost an arm. He struggled with this feeling wondering if he’d ever feel whole again. Tik. Chik. Théo stood in place, suddenly frozen. Hammer and chisel clunking down onto the floor having slipped from his grip. A moment later, reaching up to the device on his head, pressing his hand against it, he listened intently confirming what he feared most. Silence. The muse had left him completely. “Just like that. It’s over then”, he muttered to himself in dismay. Then, just as suddenly as it had left him, it returned. Jostled in surprise, a clear, but confusing sequence of clicks and beeps filled his mind. Its significance unclear, he registered the pattern, committing it to memory. Cross referencing memory logs from his previous muse encounters yielded no significant insights into its meaning or purpose. It felt familiar at least, yet there was an alien quality to this transmission which made it different in a way he couldn’t put his finger on. Without a second thought, he gathered himself and left his home, heading straight for Spencer’s place. Something significant had occurred here. A gathering of minds facilitating an exchange of ideas, he concluded, was the most logical course of action he could undertake. He was delighted. At least for the moment, it seemed as though chipping through his “artist’s block” had worked.

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172 Illustration: Théo Best (Crispy)

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A selection o f o u r m o s t dis t in g u i s h ed A p es

T he W HO ’S WHO o f D o o rk Eas t

Sherwood Davie s Craftsman • 101 Victoria Grove, DE99 Z78 T : @JonJone92779436 It is said that every king needs his castle, but it is also important to make your mark outside of your castle. After reading an article about the beauty of Victoria Grove, he immediately contacted one of his old Royal Advisor friends to secure a spot there, and after months of back and forth, is now the proud owner of a cottage in this fine street. He makes occasional visits, enjoying the scenery while he lights up premium cigars that can only be found in Doork East.

Wayn e Smi t h Craftsman • 25 Melendez Way, DE91 Z79 T : Tranter Roberts Vintner, distiller, bootlegger, and smuggler. If you can drink it he can make it. If you can’t buy it he can supply it!

Aman s Bes t Artist • 37 Victoria Grove, DE92 Y78 T : @bradleydrawn Hi I’m Amans Best..... Erm sorry, it would appear Amans has just climbed on top of the cupboards and he is swinging his legs back and forth. He does that when he’s happy and when he’s colouring in pictures with his crayons. Typical Amans.

Bon n et L avigne Royal Advisor • 121 Brown Avenue, DE101 Y64 T : @beamingkitty Meet Bonnet Lavigne, an Alien Ape from outer space. He loves nothing more than beaming down to Earth from his UFO to explore new worlds and meet new people. With his friendly personality and curious nature, Bonnet is always up for an adventure. Despite his extraterrestrial origins, he fits right in with the Apes he encounters, making him the perfect ambassador for intergalactic relations.

Alfred Mone t Royal Advisor • 121 Brown Avenue, DE101 Y64 T : @beamingkitty Alfred Monet is a tough and protective Ape with a love for cigars. Alfred will go to great lengths to defend his family, using his formidable spear to keep them safe from any threats. But don’t let his rough exterior fool you – Alfred has a softer side as well, and can often be found enjoying a good smoke and taking in the beauty of his surroundings. With his strength and intelligence, Alfred is a force to be reckoned with.

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Oswald de Balboa Explorer • 93 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE98 W62 T : @bobbyjuiceada An Ape that lost his ship and clothes, he is now waiting for SHIPS in The Ape Society.

Denver de Balboa Explorer • 89 Betton Street, DE97 Y67 T : @BobtheB82582122 Denver is the quiet type, influential and successful. Passionate about his work and has many tales to tell of his travels. Do not cross Denver. Closest relative is Edward.

Edward de Balboa Explorer • 89 Betton Street, DE97 Y67 T : @BobtheB82582122 Edward is the party animal and closest confidant of Denver. He has been on many expeditions having pillaged and plundered and put his mark on most places he has visited. Always in close proximity of Denver.

Pres ton Am at o Merchant • 12 Martin Lane, DE87 Z83 T : @CardanoShield Preston Amato, and his twin brother, Parry Amato, share a remarkable resemblance as they are both Cardano Apes. They live in close proximity to one another, residing on the same street.

Parry Amat o Merchant • 76 Martin Lane, DE93 Z83 T : @CardanoShield Parry and his twin brother live on the same street, which provide them with faster and more reliable connectivity between their nodes.

Jun ien Ven tucc i Merchant • 64 Sutherland Place, DE95 Y72 T : @johnnysadlemire Junien has chosen to take a hiatus from his merchant dealings in his family’s district of Rogeosk. After years of reigning as top merchant, his obsession with $SOCIETY has cost him the love of his wife and children. Blue with sadness, he searches each day for this illusive feeling of regret as he stares at his marvellous Diamond Hands Trophy. To this day he has not felt any regret at all, it’s been 7 years.

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Spen cer Smit h Craftsman • 54 Taylor Avenue, DE94 X71 T : @DoorkStaking Spencer’s curious nature has always pushed him to explore new frontiers within his profession, which has led him to become a Cardano stake pool operator. His fascination with stake pools lies in the block creation process and a desire to increase his stake pool’s ability to mint more blocks. Spencer loves spending time outdoors and has recently learned how to swim. It felt appropriate given that he runs a pool now.

T héo Bes t Artist • 30 Sutherland Place, DE91 W72 T : @DoorkStaking Théo’s artistic interests sit at the intersection of generative algorithms, artificial intelligence, emergent technologies and digital art. One day, he was literally struck by a shocking idea, which sparked in him the necessary knowledge required to set up a Cardano stake pool operation. In his spare time, Théo enjoys cooking steaks on the barbecue for his fellow Apes. He’s getting better at not burning them too badly.

Shaw Cox Artist • 21 Sky View Avenue, DE91 W63 T : @roslynjacquelin Shaw Cox, A young and impressionable Ape, learning the ways of the world. Always trying new things, but never settling on one thing. An Ape for all Apes as he is fondly known in District 11.

Numa Wilson Craftsman • 21 Sky View Avenue, DE91 W63 T : @roslynjacquelin Mr. Wilson is the name he goes by. A very serious and stern gentleman brought up to not only abide by the rules but to enforce order at all cost.

Rodn ey R ic h Artist • 9 Holly Hill Avenue, DE89 T80 T : @adadirewolf Mathematician and Riddler Extraordinaire. 43441154115223243115113314433431511511422 414143115.

Pell Mon et Royal Advisor • 9 Holly Hill Avenue, DE89 T80 T : @adadirewolf Retired pirate, Whiskey Connoisseur and now lover of dusty old tomes of dead men’s tales.

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En n emon d de’ Me dic i Noble • 9 Holly Hill Avenue, DE89 T80 T : @adadirewolf Esteemed (and Retired) Archeologist. Formerly an explorer. Made way too much money and was elevated to noble.

Terrel Wilson Craftsman • 93 King Avenue, DE98 Y66 (Stamp Library Post Office sub-branch) T : @VongdudeJason The Postmaster of Stamp Library Post Office.

Palmer Ma ddoc k Military Officer • 96 Warwick Road, DE98 Y69 T : @palmer_maddock Palmer keeps to himself. He is quite content on living in his tiny cabin and staring at the vast Doork landscape. After the war, that’s all he wishes to do, that and share his opinions on twitter. He’s pretty grumpy and could snap at any moment, but the Doork air sooths his nerves.

Tan n er Brown Craftsman • 96 Warwick Road, DE98 Y69 T : @Sanford__Ford Tanner Brown is a Thorpe fanboy. He can’t wait to get a signed hardcopy of “Your Reality is a Construction” one day. He has a shrine of Thorpe in a spare closet where he keeps all the toenail clippings he’s stolen from Thorpe’s trash bin.

Rawlin s C a st illo Explorer • 31 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE92 W62 T : @heanie Rawlins is an aspiring explorer who has many plans for major expeditions. He hopes to assemble a new crew in Doork East, with the most capable Apes, to achieve his goal.

Men d o C ataldi Merchant • 31 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE92 W62 T : @heanie I am Mendo Cataldi, a successful merchant from a long line of merchants who came to Doork East to work at DE Baank. But after the bank job, I will work on my business. I love it!

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Alfred Davie s Craftsman • 102 Jericho Way, DE99 X68 T : @ironhand89 Once upon a time I was a well known Military Officer guarding the royals in our society but my true passion was always crafting. Once we emerged I decided to carry my sword and chainmail as an homage to old times. My first item to craft was a bar and I hereby invite all MOs and former MOs to join me for a drink and stories from back then.

Win s ton C ox Artist • 18 Melendez Way, DE90 Z79 (Peela Gulab) T : @mrsbrown888 I told Garfield I love growing fruits, and he assured me of moving here for a joint fruit business venture. And here I am, mimicking statue pose every day in front of strange Apes with flashy toys in exchange for shiny $SOCIETY. “There are only 7 Apes that look like you. You’ll do great!” he said. Hmmm. I guess this is the handsome Ape problem that I have to endure. #HandsomeApeProblem #help

Den ton Hill Artist • 74 Mornington Road, DE93 Z82 T : @quno_steve Expeditions need precise navigation, and Denton Hill, a surveyor with a passion for open seas, identified the demand for accurate remote maps. Blending his artistic background with societal impact, Denton aids cartographers like Durward Mars in creating precise maps for explorers. His cottage at 74 Mornington Road, Doork East, exhibits plots of distant locations, leaving some wondering if they’re actual visits or dreamt destinations.

Den ton Gree n Craftsman • 121 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE101 Y62 T : @Recaf_1 Denton Green is a young aspiring master craftsmen who enjoys spending his downtime in the local Doork East pubs and clubs... on occasion Denton has been known to have a few altercations with the local sheriff but has recently vowed to improve his behaviour. His goal for 2023 is to craft enough items that he can sell his Cahuenga Boulevard cottage and move into a chateau in the north side of Doork East.

Regin ald Ve nt ucc i Merchant • 149 Martin Lane, DE100 Z83 T : @just_swissy Acquiring random secondary market properties, news spread about elites relocating to the map’s right side. Excitedly, he discovered a purchase in Doork East within his Reginald Ventucci Properties portfolio. Although distant from the landmark, he utilised his negotiation skills and ADA from his merchant background to secure his current residence, still marvelling at his surroundings.

Nyle Taylor Craftsman • 80 Laurel Road, DE96 Y70 D : Philopithikos#2099 Too cool to be a Craftsman, but has no other job skills.

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Os min L avigne Royal Advisor • 148 Mason Court, DE100 Z81 T : @TDRV_5 Osmin Lavigne was one of the oldest Royal Advisor pirates, getting funds for his Royal Advisor duties by pirating Apes. During one journey the ship sank and he died, but came back as a zombie to forever roam the sea and land as a Royal Advisor pirate zombie. Age 427 years.

Claudien Wright Military Officer • 80 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE96 X62 (Paradise Lost) T : @pizzaface99 Claudien the runaway Ape finally finds a home and job as a Military Officer in the peaceful land of Doork East.

Stud s Mars Artist • 155 Mason Court, DE101 Z81 T : @Fortress_Safe Making keys is an art and Studs Mars is the best! Working as a locksmith most of his life, he has made numerous keys for doors, chests, safes, and vaults for many Apes in Doork East. He is well known for his artistry on the head of the key, using intriguing designs to signify your individual key.

Darw in Robe rt s Craftsman • 72 Kingswood Road, DE93 U84 T : @Darwin7Roberts A proud Brazilian theologian.

Dagobert Cort e s Explorer • 84 Brown Avenue, DE97 Y64 T : @zrx_ada Dagobert Cortes, an intellectual Ape, was once a professor at DE University. He was lecturing students on the use of Cardano and its applications. Then one day, he decided to explore the world, searching for hidden knowledge. He left his job and went on his quest. He experienced many cultures and customs, and encountered many people. He felt inspired and empowered by his explorations, and eventually became a renowned explorer.

Tow n s en d Lavigne Royal Advisor • 79 Manor Lane, DE96 X61 T : @Crypto_Gator_ Townsend Lavigne is a Royal Advisor, yes, but he is a man of the people first and foremost. A farmer turned technology buff, Townsend enjoys practicing his swordplay while listening to his favourite Twitter spaces in his free time. He loves his quaint cottage in the prestigious Doork East District. He is fiercely loyal to his fellow Apes and will do anything within his ability to help progress the cNFT space as a whole.

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T he

D O ORK’S DI R ECTORY 149 individual NFT owners (7% of all Ape holders) registered 367 Apes (5% of all Apes) in 188 cabins (representing 62% of all of the cabins in Doork East). Give them a follow! Twitter

Ape

Address (Brand)

D: @LeonardoG#1286 @Woodlands_Tech

Baron Wright Bartolome García Booker Cataldi Dwennon Maddock Telford Davies Bentley Baldwin Linwood Ventucci Jorge Best Wyndam Brown Nicolas Chiesa Wyndam de la Cruz Ewing Brown Junien Ventucci Tranter Roberts Marlow Wilson Simon Best Hunter Maddock Garrick Amato Snowden Baldwin Wayne Smith Leland Smith Wayne de la Cruz Amsden Cataldi Wheeler Castillo Antonio Ventucci North Monet Ariste Cataldi Dagobert de la Cruz Bolton Wright Snowden White Bentley Lavigne Damas de Balboa Baron Baldwin Amans Best Damas Hill Ridley Chiesa Ramsey Castillo Claudien Best Rylan de la Cruz Thane Wilson Ansley Smith Keyon Robinson Jorge Davies Elmar Brown Numa Castillo Rochester Ventucci Charles Rich Wheeler Baldwin

39 Mason Court, DE89 Y81 41 Birkbeck Road, DE93 Y74

@cartercryp10 @JimenezPetroche @The_Meta_Broker @_timber1 @beep1984 @johnnysadlemire @72raKW

@abroberg @SpaceWave112358

@Adalegend626 @bradleydrawn

D: ap604#2166 @eujinchau

9 Melendez Way, DE89 Z79 71 Mason Court, DE93 Y81 35 Sky View Avenue, DE92 W63 33 Birkbeck Road, DE92 Y74 87 South Zam Street, DE97 Z75 64 Sutherland Place, DE95 Y72 112 Brown Avenue, DE100 Y64 106 Brown Avenue, DE99 Y64 25 Melendez Way, DE91 Z79 50 Kingswood Road, DE90 Z84 37 Manor Lane, DE92 W61 41 Mason Court, DE90 Y81 84 Regent Place, DE97 T77 109 Laurel Road, DE99 Y70 37 Victoria Grove, DE92 Y78 (The Amans Family)

112 Jericho Way, DE100 Z68 11 Warwick Road, DE90 X69 16 Sky View Avenue, DE90 W63 56 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE94 V62 29 Manor Lane, DE91 W61

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@armarosh @Atastyham

@Meppernet @b1das199 D: Bare Ape#0679 @3arrracuda

@beamingkitty @JonJone92779436 @cryptosnipe1775 @AlexxSpan D: BIGsmell#7057 @HughAmato @bobbyjuiceada @BobtheB82582122 @bodidleee @brightcrypto22 @ToolNFT @CardanoTrain @CardanoShield

@therealcardman @AceCNFT @chad19832014 @MnCloud9 @CMH_16 @DoorkStaking

@Crypto_Gator_ @CryptoCoinDoc01 @cryptoedz @roslynjacquelin

@ADALoc8or @Fortress_Safe

Marden de’ Medici Bonaventure Green Waverly Chiesa Ennemond Baldwin Benito Ford Dayton Davies Atherol Cataldi Fairfax Cox Thane de la Cruz Blas Castillo Alex White Cynric de la Cruz Mather Smith Osbert Hill Roch Chiesa Bonnet Lavigne Alfred Monet Broderick Monet Sherwood Davies Read Monet Bentley Ventucci Crépin Wright Colton Best Nelson Edwards Shipley Roberts Milton Mars Oswald de Balboa Denver de Balboa Edward de Balboa Gascon Green Mateo Castillo Durward Edwards Toussaint Lavigne Thatcher Maddock Crépin Monet Bradford Rich Preston Amato Parry Amato Barclay Wright Dayton Amato Agathon de’ Medici Lind Maddock Domingo Taylor Osmin Baldwin Marlow Amato Spencer Smith Shelley García Preston White Théo Best Shipley Maddock Agustin Amato Townsend Lavigne Olin Maddock Machin Cataldi Brinley Baldwin Kipp Cataldi Alvin Best Shaw Cox Numa Wilson Dane Maddock Sanford de Balboa Halsey Lavigne Wilfred Thomas Pothin Lavigne

29 Jericho Way, DE91 X68 27 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE91 U62

61 Manor Lane, DE95 X61 48 Victoria Grove, DE93 Y78 18 Manor Lane, DE90 U61 66 Regent Place, DE95 T77

11 Birkbeck Road, DE90 X74 121 Brown Avenue, DE101 Y64 101 Victoria Grove, DE99 Z78 143 Kingswood Road, DE100 Z84 37 Wright Buildings, DE92 S76 87 Jericho Way, DE97 X68 99 Taylor Avenue, DE98 Z71 93 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE98 W62 89 Betton Street, DE97 Y67 61 Martin Lane, DE92 Z83 (Department of Mental Health-DE) 3 Birkbeck Road, DE89 Y74 18 Sutherland Place, DE90 R72 65 Kingswood Road, DE92 Z84 81 Warwick Road, DE97 Y69 21 Victoria Grove, DE91 Y78 12 Martin Lane, DE87 Z83 76 Martin Lane, DE93 Z83 27 Regent Place, DE91 Z77 14 Mason Court, DE87 Y81 9 Taylor Avenue, DE89 Y71 31 Melendez Way, DE92 Y79 91 Regent Place, DE98 Y77 82 Birkbeck Road, DE97 Y74 37 Mornington Road, DE89 Y82 54 Taylor Avenue, DE94 X71 30 Sutherland Place, DE91 W72 79 Manor Lane, DE96 X61 48 Manor Lane, DE93 W61 41 Betton Street, DE93 W67 85 Sutherland Place, DE97 Z72 (Kipp’s Knives Out Agency) 21 Sky View Avenue, DE91 W63 127 Regent Place, DE101 Z77 123 Melendez Way, DE101 Z79 155 Mason Court, DE101 Z81

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@NFTsDark @LavingeApe @adadirewolf @dkelly7 @bstdk @Peter89668164

@Profkii @lovejsgo @VongdudeJason @Sanford__Ford @palmer_maddock @Sanford__Ford @hello2crypto

@Gerzillo @GexPR @BlackVRTitan

@grey8ear @CryptoReapr @haasklopfer @HCryptoAddict @harveydraper739 @heanie @heanie @actoddm @hoggie20 @FencerSpencer D: Infinite Vault#3962 @ironhand89 @jallapower @joshuaLcurtis @jezza_aa @mrsbrown888 @jochen4938 @joewcrypto

Alfonso Lavigne Francisque de’ Medici Telford Edwards Manley Baldwin Burgess Lavigne Rodney Rich Pell Monet Ennemond de’ Medici Fleming Ventucci Tanner Cataldi Dallin Castillo Nelson Monet Seward Lavigne Lucas Green Harvey Castillo Dover Wright Ridley de’ Medici Terrel Wilson Sanford Ford Palmer Maddock Tanner Brown Thatcher de Balboa Josephin de Balboa Courtland Davies Joannes Brown Josephin Best Martial Roberts Mateo Thomas Ramsey Wilson Silvère Edwards Simon Taylor Granger Chiesa Chad Lavigne Tomkin Lavigne Beaman Cataldi Rayburn de la Cruz Rodrigo Hill Rishley Davies Chad Chiesa Alfred de Balboa Lucas Mars Allyr Wright Fairfax Chiesa Rawlins Castillo Mendo Cataldi Litton Monet Grayson Baldwin Rae Maddock Tranter Cortes Emerson Rich Wakefield Evans Bray Green Kent Edwards Alfred Davies Tanner Evans Marin Roberts Rigobert Roberts Francisco Lavigne Bob Cataldi Winston Cox Pell Baldwin Denver Maddock Parry Chiesa Lind Green

9 Sky View Avenue, DE89 Q63 127 Victoria Grove, DE101 Z78 9 Holly Hill Avenue, DE89 T80 87 Walnut Street, DE97 Z73 109 Martin Lane, DE96 Z83 42 Sutherland Place, DE93 Y72 77 Wright Buildings, DE96 Z76 29 Kingswood Road, DE88 Z84 44 Melendez Way, DE93 Z79 59 Regent Place, DE94 Z77 93 King Avenue, DE98 Y66 (Stamp Library Post Office sub-branch) 96 Warwick Road, DE98 Y69 121 Holly Hill Avenue, DE101 Z80 22 Betton Street, DE91 R67

3 Walnut Street, DE89 Y73 124 Martin Lane, DE98 Z83 60 Mason Court, DE91 Y81 (Royal Robertson Estate)

40 Warwick Road, DE92 Y69 (Royal Robertson Cottage) 138 Mornington Road, DE99 Z82 42 Canmard City Avenue, DE93 X65 64 King Avenue, DE95 Y66 65 Brown Avenue, DE95 V64 38 Martin Lane, DE89 Z83 31 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE92 W62 81 Taylor Avenue, DE97 Z71 96 Birkbeck Road, DE98 Z74 112 Sky View Avenue, DE100 Y63 35 Brown Avenue, DE92 X64 102 Jericho Way, DE99 X68 109 Canmard City Avenue, DE99 Y65 70 Sky View Avenue, DE95 X63 29 Brown Avenue, DE91 V64 18 Melendez Way, DE90 Z79 (Peela Gulab) 109 Manor Lane, DE99 W61 3 Regent Place, DE89 Y77

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@Johnherza @Jagxpy @kiama_3d @vrostakos @King_Ventucci @kirbyjwilson @kpetric2017 D: kustard#5017 @L1k3Water

@l3allon1 @lara_bcw @lexcal78 @hopiumjunky @Mackmora2103 @Gregory10090041 @matasa_qt @MiltonWilsonTAS @Mirjamcla @MorGangsterNFTs @NestaKamachi @cryptlettuce42 @1Life2Cents @nolan_vbif @aheo33 D: Philopithikos#2099 @Piccolo2022 @Ryan45377575 @ponziratti @Cnft_Fella @Kazimeras @quno_steve @Rasputin552 @Recaf_1

@data_relevant @rrjoey05 @RyanCho10284380 @mannysakuraba

D: Sflynn324

Lind Amato Creighton de Balboa Pothin Hill Rigobert Baldwin Marden Taylor Gabriel Walker Elmar White Ochoa Ford Keyon King Ramiro King Brock King Dempster Ventucci Telesphore King Cyr Wilson Francisque Wilson Tanner Best Jarman Amato Fleury Mars Bromley Green Francisco Castillo Barclay Brown Seabert Hill Amans Taylor Dover Cox Landon Baldwin Whit Maddock Bonnet Castillo Marlow Smith Chapman Mars Milton Wilson Thorpe Cataldi Rodman García Siddel de Balboa Rider Wright Bonaventure Cataldi Lievin Cataldi Blas Brown Winslow Lavigne Esmond Cortes Nyle Taylor Salvat Cataldi Bentley de la Cruz Privat de’ Medici Estevan Baldwin Dunstan Ford Harold Baldwin Keyon Wilson Denton Hill Esmond Smith Sabastian Hill Manley Roberts Digby Monet Marlow Maddock Sabin Ventucci Denton Green Durward Mars Miguel de Balboa Barnett Cataldi Dwight Wilson Burt Monet Kenley Ventucci Wright Brown Ransford Best Estevan Taylor

83 Manor Lane, DE97 X61 35 Regent Place, DE92 Z77 112 Betton Street, DE100 Y67 130 Warwick Road, DE101 T69 69 Walnut Street, DE95 Z73 104 South Zam Street, DE99 Z75 126 Birkbeck Road, DE101 Z74 26 Mornington Road, DE88 Y82 31 Kingswood Road, DE89 Y84 66 Mornington Road, DE92 Z82 111 Taylor Avenue, DE100 Z71 152 Mornington Road, DE101 Z82 106 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE99 Y62 60 Sky View Avenue, DE94 X63 11 Regent Place, DE90 Y77 107 Sky View Avenue, DE99 Y63 117 Sutherland Place, DE100 Y72 12 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE90 U62 22 Mason Court, DE88 Z81 35 Taylor Avenue, DE92 Y71 51 Walnut Street, DE94 Y73 25 Wright Buildings, DE91 Y76 45 Holly Hill Avenue, DE93 Z80 125 Walnut Street, DE101 Z73 60 Betton Street, DE94 Y67 28 Canmard City Avenue, DE91 X65 39 Betton Street, DE92 V67 106 Wright Buildings, DE99 Z76 80 Laurel Road, DE96 Y70 74 Jericho Way, DE96 X68 (Erebor) 60 Laurel Road, DE94 Y70 113 South Zam Street, DE100 Z75 119 King Avenue, DE100 Y66 14 Victoria Grove, DE90 Y78 74 Mornington Road, DE93 Z82 46 Wright Buildings, DE93 Y76 128 Sky View Avenue, DE101 X63 121 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE101 Y62 82 Kingswood Road, DE94 Z84 85 Sky View avenue, DE97 R63 46 Laurel Road, DE93 Y70 (Great Eastern) 77 Regent Place, DE96 Y77

116 Laurel Road, DE100 Z70

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@AngelinMonet @gangjiy09721661

@SPEECHMOOR @SunshineCyCy @sve_son @crypto_swifft @just_swissy @Taniatang8 @TDRV_5 @pizzaface99 @JaxCrypto1 @Fortress_Safe @TASCutleryDE @theWilsonApe @TheAgent_ @artist_hill @Darwin7Roberts

@sfumato44 @cardanoeconews @toggen10

@brinleyventucci @toggen10 @upwindstrategy

Angelin Monet Packard Lavigne Pedro Wright Stroud Maddock Dempster de Balboa Colby Mars Bartolome Walker Wylie Robinson Huntley Cox Pablo Cox Barden García Reginald Ventucci Truman Lavigne Cynric Maddock Cristoval Rich Osmin Lavigne Oxford Monet Claudien Wright Wyndam Ventucci Barclay Ventucci Studs Mars Courtland Taylor Rudyard Lavigne Slade Amato Francisco Hill Clinton Roberts Darwin Roberts Martial Robinson Miller Smith Whitfield Smith Pablo Walker Snowden Walker Walton Walker Wilfred Walker Woodrow Walker Thorpe Brown Jorge Ventucci Lincoln King Blade Wilson Florimond Brown Tye Green Thatcher Green Kipp Green Brewster Green Clair Ventucci Geronimo Wright Washington King Wheaton Best Nicolas Walker Brinley Ventucci Creighton Lavigne Voltaire Mars Francisco Monet Domingo Lavigne Emerson Roberts Farley White Fiacre Rich Fleury Best Pépin Castillo Salvator Roberts Thane Green Tye Thomas Ramiro Baldwin Brent Monet

110 Mornington Road, DE96 Z82 68 Betton Street, DE95 W67

8 King Avenue, DE89 Q66 5 Warwick Road, DE89 X69 42 Jericho Way, DE93 W68 118 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE100 Y62 149 Martin Lane, DE100 Z83 130 Jericho Way, DE101 Y68 51 Birkbeck Road, DE94 Z74 148 Mason Court, DE100 Z81 80 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE96 X62 (Paradise Lost) 155 Mason Court, DE101 Z81 (Fortress Lock and Safe) 8 Manor Lane, DE89 U61 120 Manor Lane, DE100 Y61 72 Kingswood Road, DE93 U84 (Seminary)

69 Taylor Avenue, DE95 Y71 (Thorpe Brown Ashram) 98 Jericho Way, DE98 Y68 88 King Avenue, DE97 W66 110 King Avenue, DE99 S66 (Prankster’s Palace) 110 Holly Hill Avenue, DE99 U80 ∞ Gruesome Greens don’t like rules!

129 Kingswood Road, DE98 Z84 116 Kingswood Road, DE97 Z84 26 Martin Lane, DE88 Z83 14 Jericho Way, DE90 X68 10 Canmard City Avenue, DE89 W65 14 Betton Street, DE90 X67 156 Martin Lane, DE101 Z83 66 Warwick Road, DE95 Y69 120 Mornington Road, DE97 U82 (DE BAANK)

6 Kingswood Road, DE86 T84

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@utterchaos247 @christopevans @Vladi32022836 @thorpedebalboa @jerspar @whatupyoshi @CryptoZombree @zrx_ada

Fulton Monet Dickinson Monet Addison de Balboa Grayson Taylor Bradley Lavigne Miller de’ Medici Hamilton de Balboa Bond Monet Bede Chiesa Ramiro de’ Medici Ochoa Best Eldon Amato Barden Chiesa Durward García Chilton White Harman Ventucci Shipley Brown Alfred Baldwin Kipp Baldwin Harman Maddock Simon Maddock Silvère Maddock Maurille Maddock Tristán Baldwin Bancroft Baldwin Lievin Wright Ralph Wright Snowden Wright Broderick Cataldi Channing King Blade de la Cruz Truman Green Charles de’ Medici Ansley Lavigne Remington Monet Darwin Baldwin Booker Amato Geronimo de Balboa Sherlock Taylor Kinsey Green Geronimo Lavigne Booth Lavigne Carver Lavigne Rayburn Monet Dorset Lavigne Janvier Monet Manning Monet Whitfield Cox Redford White Wesley Taylor Théo Edwards Floris de la Cruz Penn Ford Newman Evans Marlow Ventucci Oxford García Bertin Baldwin Jagger Ventucci Wesley Lavigne Woodrow Cataldi Claudien Cataldi Parry Walker Dagobert Cortes

72 Betton Street, DE96 R67

10 Laurel Road, DE89 R70

79 King Avenue, DE96 W66

17 Holly Hill Avenue, DE90 Y80

2 Mornington Road, DE86 Y82

47 Regent Place, DE93 Y77

76 Birkbeck Road, DE96 Z74 124 Manor Lane, DE101 Y61 104 Regent Place, DE99 Z77 96 Martin Lane, DE95 Z83 47 Sky View Avenue, DE93 V63 24 Birkbeck Road, DE91 Y74 19 South Zam Street, DE90 Y75 46 Cahuenga Boulevard, DE93 W62 20 Laurel Road, DE90 Y70 152 Kingswood Road, DE101 Z84 84 Brown Avenue, DE97 Y64

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Introduction to Cardano NFTs Author: Kongsy

Illustration: Amans Best

Are you new to web3 and looking to get your first Non-Fungible Token (NFT)? First of all, a huge welcome to you! You’re about to embark on a great adventure, make sure to always stay safe and don’t hesitate to ask questions to people you trust.

The best feature of NFT’s are the communities that have been created around them. There’s a huge amount of knowledge to be shared by people experienced in this space, twitter and discord are usually the best resources for information. Discord provides a more personal

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touch, pop by a few servers and say hello! Note that the process of buying a NFT will be different depending on which blockchain it’s on. In the future blockchains will be further developed to simplify the customer experience, you might be able to move your digital assets from one blockchain to another without an issue, and not even think about which technology is being used in the background, just what NFT’s you want to interact with. Every blockchain provides different pros/cons. A few factors to consider are: e level of decentralization - does a couple of wallets own most of the network e security - does the network ever go down, is it easy to be scammed e scalability - how quick is the network and how does it accommodate more users/transactions e UX/UI - are the tools easy to work with, are there multiple wallets, dApps, etc to choose from different factors are important for different people, but not everyone has time to go through all these topics and decide on what blockchain to use. Personally, I’ve decided on Cardano which led me to The Ape Society and Doork East. This guide will go through everything you need to know to get your first NFT on the Cardano blockchain. In this tutorial I’ll explain how to start using Typhon wallet, but there are other great ones as well such as Nami, Gero, Eternl, etc. 1) Visit typhonwallet.io and download the chrome/edge/brave extension. 2) If you have a ledger, simply press “Connect with Ledger/Trezor” and follow the instructions. 2.1) Otherwise, press “create wallet”, name your wallet and give it a password. 3) You will see your seed phrase on screen, write it down on a piece of paper and keep it safe. 3.1) If you ever lose your password from step 2.1, you can always retrieve your wallet using the seed phrase.

4) Choose “HD Wallet” instead of “Single Address Wallet”. Congratulations on setting up your first wallet, you’re now ready to buy an NFT! There are actually two methods to make this happen. You can either fill up the newly created wallet with ADA or use a credit card directly. The most widely used marketplace to buy NFT’s on Cardano is jpg.store, and they accept credit cards. Find the NFT you want, hover above the yellow buy-button and press “Buy with Credit Card”. This will open up the “winter” service which asks for information such as your e-mail address and Cardano wallet address. You can now pay with you credit card and see the NFT pop up in your wallet after a couple minutes. To see the NFT, you can either check in the Typhon wallet directly through the google extension, or visit the website https://pool. pm/<wallet address> to view your assets. If you would rather use the native currency instead of your credit card, you can always buy $ADA through a centralized exchange such as Binance/Coinbase and send that $ADA to your wallet address. As soon as you’ve received the $ADA, use that to buy the NFT. Congratulations on buying your first NFT! There are lots of NFT stats/analytics websites to find new projects to join. For example https:// opencnft.io/ lets you find interesting information regarding different collections such as volume, number of holders/assets, historical prices, latest sales, etc. There’s also https://cnft.tools/ which you can use to sort through all of the assets of different collections, filter on traits you like, sort by rank to find that perfect NFT that matches your personality. There’s a lot to dive into when it comes to NFT’s and the Cardano blockchain. Stay patient and keep learning, you’ll become a pro in notime!

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A selection o f D o o rk s

Art Gal l e r y

NFT: Wayne de la Cruz, Explorer Courtesy of Tranter Roberts

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NFT: Sabin Ventucci, Merchant Courtesy of @Recaf_1

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A selection o f D o o rk s

Art Gal l e r y

NFT: Elmar White, Craftsman Courtesy of @Johnherza

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NFT: Waverly Chiesa, Merchant Courtesy of @Atastyham

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A selection o f D o o rk s

Art Gal l e r y

NFT: Rodney Rich, Artist Courtesy of @adadirewolf

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NFT: Creighton Lavigne, Royal Advisor Courtesy of @toggen10

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A selection o f D o o rk s

Art Gal l e r y

NFT: Damas de Balboa Explorer Courtesy of @bradleydrawn

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NFT: Kent Edwards, Craftsman Courtesy of @ironhand89

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A selection o f D o o rk s

Art Gal l e r y

NFT: Colby Mars, Artist Courtesy of @SPEECHMOOR

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NFT: Domingo Lavigne, Royal Advisor Courtesy of @upwindstrategy

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Special Thanks! We would like to express a huge thank you to all the Apes who have joined Doork East since our last Volume, for their support, time, ideas, contributions and passion that made this magazine possible. Our community is our treasure.

NFT: Charles de’ Medici Courtesy of @upwindstrategy