My Grandmother’s Pound Cake

She made these cakes for all occasions—for celebrations, illnesses, trips, and deaths. She was a woman of few words, so she expressed her love and concern by baking these practical cakes for others.

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5: 18). As for my friend, she became the Poet Laureate for the State of Illinois, further proof that no system of oppression can stop the good plans of God!

Paula was visibly moved by the story. She was left wondering if hope and courage were closely linked to Grace. What about love? She remembered a story her friend and colleague Emily had told her, and she felt stirred to share it.

“I’d like to tell you a story shared by my friend Emily. I think you will find it relevant to this and inspiring.” Amy and Joel nodded encouragingly.

My grandmother Eloise always had a pound cake at her house. If there wasn't one on the counter in the oversized cookie tin, there was one in the freezer. I remember standing beside her in her spotlessly scrubbed kitchen, helping her to measure out the ingredients. She was insistent that the dry ingredients always be sifted three times. This was my grandmother's ministry. She made these cakes for all occasions—for celebrations, illnesses, trips, and deaths. She was a woman of few words, so she expressed her love and concern by baking these practical cakes for others. The only extravagant ingredient in my grandmother's cake was vanilla—and only a teaspoon. Almost anyone can find the ingredients for a pound cake in their own kitchen—flour, sugar, butter, eggs, milk, baking powder, salt and vanilla—that's it. It is an entirely practical cake—no frills—no icing—it travels well and freezes well. As a child of the depression, Eloise was a no-nonsense, practical woman. She was not a warm and fuzzy, touchy-feely grandmother. Tired of how people could never get her name right, she legally changed it from Ella Louise to Eloise since that is what everyone called her. She had a big heart and a sharp tongue and was opinionated with a strong sense of right and wrong. Her growing-up years were difficult. Her father's drinking made him unreliable. Her mother was left to raise seven children, mostly alone. When her mother died young from an unknown cancer, Eloise, as one of the older siblings, took in her youngest sister while navigating her young marriage. She did not trust others would or could take care of her, so she worked hard to take care of herself and everyone else.

With her faithfulness to the church, I believe that her sufferings fuelled her service in the world.

Busyness was her superpower, but it was not busyness just for the sake of busyness. It was busy with a purpose. Eloise rarely sat still. While sitting, her hands were still moving—cracking pecans, polishing silver, peeling apples. The local grocery store manager would call her when he was about to throw out apples or pears that were going bad. She would pick them up, peel them, stew them with sugar, and freeze them. Nothing was wasted. These apples or pears accompanied nearly every meal served by her. Few left her house without something from her freezer, whether it was a pound cake, apples, pears or corn our family put up in the summers. I believe she knew what Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama spoke about regarding compassion. Archbishop Tutu noted, “But when you say, ‘How can I help?’ even amid your deep anguish, it’s got an alchemy that transforms your pain. It may not take it away. But it becomes in a way bearable, more than it was at the time when you were just saying ‘poor me,’ thinking only about yourself.” Dalai Lama et al (2016) Eloise experienced much hurt as a child and young adult, which I knew haunted her, but she never let it slow her down. With her faithfulness to the church, I believe that her sufferings fuelled her service in the world. She was one of many strong women in the small Baptist church of my childhood who organized, ran and led the church's work. They may not have been visible during the worship service, but the church wouldn't have happened without them. Eloise was the one who taught my mother and who then, in turn, taught my sisters and me about what it meant to be of use in this broken world and, more importantly, to be of use in ways that serve others. Eloise died in 2009 after living with the after-effects of a stroke for five years. This faithful, busy, purpose-driven woman learned late in life also what it meant to be served. Reluctantly, she learned to allow her daughters and others to care for her intimately. It was not easy to feel purposeful when busyness was no longer her superpower. Finally, however, she learned one of her last lessons. She realized that she could trust others to care for her and allow others to experience the same purposeful, practical service she had faithfully offered throughout her long life.

Eloise’s Pound Cake

INGREDIENTS

2 sticks unsalted butter 1/2 cup shortening 3 cups white sugar 5 eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 cup milk 3 cups cake flour 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt

DIRECTIONS

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour an angel food cake pan. Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt. (My grandmother insisted on sifting 3 times, so I usually follow her instructions). Set aside. Cream the butter with shortening and sugar until light and fluffy in a large bowl. Beat in the flour mixture alternately with the milk. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Pour batter into the prepared pan. (When I remember, I try to leave time for the ingredients to be at room temperature. Bake in the preheated oven for 80 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Do not open the oven before 60 minutes is up, or it will fall. Let cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely.

Amy laughed, with small tears welling up in her eyes, “The part about Eloise teaching her mother ‘what it meant to be of use in this broken world' really got to me! It seems that all of us face a magnificent choice when faced with brokenness, either to use it as an excuse to do nothing or as a reason to wake up and do something. So when I hear about people like Eloise, who grace us all with their presence and lives, my faith in human nature is strengthened.” “For me, it was her dogged selflessness expressed in the ritual of baking and providing her simple pound cake. Not a grand gesture but a constant one of care and consideration. In doing this, she says, ‘I will always be here for us.’ I am reminded of a poem by Marge Piercy….”

To be of use

By Marge Piercy

The people I love the best jump into work head first without dallying in the shallows and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight. They seem to become natives of that element, the black sleek heads of seals bouncing like half-submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart, who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience, who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward, who do what has to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people who submerge in the task, who go into the fields to harvest and work in a row and pass the bags along, who are not parlor generals and field deserters but move in a common rhythm when the food must come in or the fire be put out.

The work of the world is common as mud. Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust. But the thing worth doing well done has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident. Greek amphoras for wine or oil, Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums, but you know they were made to be used. The pitcher cries for water to carry and a person for work that is real.

Amy smiled. “Thank you for sharing that poem, Joel. Yes, we have all experienced the healing that comes through relationships and community when individual humanity is honored and not judged. They are the practices that help and affirm. This makes me think about what one of my favorite poets, John O'Donohue, had to say about Grace. He said

‘… Grace is the permanent climate of divine kindness. It suggests compassion and understanding for all the ambivalent and contradictory dimensions of the human experience and pain. This climate of kindness nurtures the sore landscape of the human heart and urges torn ground to heal and become fecund.’”

Humans are made in the Imago Dei—the image of God. Not to just be the image of God but to be active in the image of God as well.

Paula looked at her friends, “I love the idea of Grace as divine kindness! I remember now about a friend of mine in South Africa whose child goes to a school in Cape Town where they espouse one value above all others: kindness. He said that all the other values flow from this. Kindness is such an obvious and simple quality that we miss it, a kind of active love.” “Nice!” Joel came in. “I think these three stories are filled with so much grace, but John's quote, Shirley's striving, the nun's advocacy, and Eloise's baking also speak to me of faithfulness.” Amy nodded. “Yes, I agree, and yet the stories are so different. To me, the story of Eloise speaks about the Grace of showing up and sharing. In contrast, Grace in Gary's story was that of nonjudgement and acceptance. There is faithfulness in each of those, a belief in God's Grace that urges us to show that divine Grace to others.” Joel smiled. “That is so true. Shirley's story showed the Grace of generational resilience as her parents covered her with love and surrounded her with God's truth. Their steadfast faith, and the advocacy of the nun who used her agency to protect the girls was really a poke in the eye at the end, with Poet Laureate and Public Health leaders emerging from from this discrimination! Consider Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This is not just about salvation but about the here and now.” Paula nodded, “And let's not forget that Jesus was a social activist with an agenda for life on earth. In Luke 18:7-8, Jesus says, “And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you; he will see that they get justice, and quickly.” But this will not happen through God waving a magic wand. We are agents of God's Kingdom. We need to play an active role in advancing this realm of peace and justice on earth “as it is in heaven.” Humans are made in the Imago Dei—the image of God. Not to just be the image of God but to be active in the image of God as well. And anything that damages or hurts this “image” needs to be confronted and changed. Life on earth matters. God wants human beings to flourish now, body, mind and spirit. This is the social dimension of Grace, and it calls us to be social agents of change to grow our shared humanity.”

Amy hummed reflectively, “Mmm… the question is how? How is God calling our church to confront oppressive systems? How is God calling me as an advocate of justice, mercy and Grace? How do the children of the church see us extending or sharing and experiencing Grace?" Joel, who loved his quotes, jumped at the opportunity to share another, “Those are all big questions for us to work with. No quick answers. Have you heard what Rainer Maria Rilke had to say about such questions? He wrote

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

Letters To A Young Poet (1929) "... We are called to reconnect with God, neighbor or self, and Grace can be that reconnection."

Amy smiled. "I feel relieved by that, Joel. Love the questions and live them without rushing towards quick answers. On the other hand, isn't there also an urgency in confronting injustice? There's a question for you to ponder! But also, in these stories, we talk about Grace, which can be pivotal in restoring relationships and nurturing wholeness. It's important to remember that trauma could be seen as the potential disruption of that relationship and wholeness. When that disruption occurs, someone has been traumatized. The disruption can come from systems, persons, and policies. We are called to reconnect with God, neighbor or self, and Grace can be that reconnection." "That cycles us back to listening. Can we call it graceful listening?" Paula smiled. Her eyes suddenly widened, and she ruffled in her bag and pulled out her notebook, then quickly skimmed through her Bible study notes on Grace. "I think these notes we wrote down in our study group are profound, and they link directly to these three stories. What we are discussing here are small, practical ideas to work with alongside living with our big questions. These can be many day-to-day acts of Grace, not seeking THE answers but taking small steps of active kindness. Here is what I wrote