Breaking down the wall of shame

To be that safe presence is so meaningful. It is sacred space. Holy Ground.

My heart is warmed and encouraged when I think about this experience and dozens of others that I had during this season of ministry. Seeing God work to release people from the shame and angst they have been living with, sometimes for many years, brings a sense of gratitude and fulfillment that’s hard to describe. It’s God’s doing through the wooing and love of the Spirit.

After Meagan’s presentation the group sat in silence for a while, then there was some time for comments and questions. Paula raised her hand. “What is the most valuable aspect of this work for you?” Meagan smiled. This was easy to answer. “What I value most in these ministry experiences, it is being used by God to start a person on the path to freedom. A person who has struggled with shame, embarrassment, guilt—oh, so much guilt—self-loathing, self-medication, perhaps even addiction. To be that safe presence is so meaningful. It is sacred space. Holy Ground. And to have the privilege of praying with the person, oh, that means so much! To go with them before God to know that God sees them, God knows them, God loves them no matter what they have experienced. This is very important. Such a privilege. I experienced this and more with this young woman, and she was very receptive. Hopeful. Ready to experience further healing.” Amy asked softly. “Do you know what happened to the young woman? Have you ever seen her again?”

Meagan nodded to show that she heard the question. “I don’t know what happened to her. I don’t know how she is doing. But I do know that when people break silence, it’s difficult, awkward, and painful. They may even experience anger and fear. Shame. And in the aftermath, I may not hear from them for a long time, but in time, they will share that it was the important beginning they needed and now they are on a path to freedom. I hope that this will be true for her.” One of the other members raised a hand. “How did the church that invited you respond to the outcome of your workshop?” “That’s a good question,” Meagan said. “I heard the heartbreaking stories of many that weekend and this one young woman pointed to what lay ahead for the church. How to continue to speak openly about abuse? How to provide safe space both for those who had broken silence, as well as for those who were still waiting? How to break down the walls of shame and silence and build community around the survivors? So much. “Did they want this? I hope so and I believe they did. Did I want this? Yes, most definitely. But in reality, it is so very hard for congregations to keep this kind of ministry going. There is rampant denial on the part of many Christians; there is fear of other people “being up in your stuff”; there is anxiety over mistakes or mismanagement, even lawsuits. I do the very best I can, but hold it loosely, and pray for the survivors who have disclosed. I also pray for the teams, pastors and laity who will carry on the work.” Amy wanted to know more about Trauma Informed Approaches. She had heard Paula speak about it before. She was sure that Meagan could also give some insights. “Could you tell us a bit about SAMHSA’s six principles that guide a Trauma Informed Approach?” Meagan was happy to do so. “Here is a little slide that would help, that I developed from the work of Dr. Scott Giacomucci in his book Social Work, Sociometry, and Psychodrama. Remember, all of us have experienced trauma or adversity in some way, so these ways of being with each other will help us all heal and find wholeness. It's really about building the Kin-dom of God together.” And in the aftermath, I may not hear from them for a long time, but in time, they will share that it was the important beginning they needed and now they are on a path to freedom.