Summer 2012 Downsized Living by Downsized Living: The Magazine for the New America

DOWNSIZED

Living THE MAGAZINE FOR THE NEW AMERICA

Ellen Goldstein

Vol. 1, No. 4 • Summer 2012

IRO N C H EF: G O UR M ET PA N I N I O N T H E C H E A P

CA REERS Professionally Unemployed: It’s Not an Oxymoron T RAVEL Carry-On Luggage Fees: How One Man Fought Back PERSONAL FINANCE The Supreme Court Declares Some People Corporations: How You Can Invest

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Predictably, the Republicans vowed to fight on and overturn Obamacare in Congress. But they would need a majority in the Senate, and they don’t have that.

he Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the Affordable Care Act should give us all a reason to stand up and cheer. Chief Justice John Roberts’ swing vote to uphold the Act’s constitutionality was as courageous as it was surprising. I was convinced, as no doubt many Americans were, that the Court would rule the same way it did in Citizens United — in favor of the far right.

Besides the Supreme Court ruling on health care, there are other signs of a renewed sense of social responsibility appearing across the country. In June a group of Catholic nuns embarked on a nine-state bus tour to protest cuts in the federal budget proposed by the Republican Party. Starbucks recently decided to manufacture its coffee mugs in East Liverpool, Ohio instead of China. Cities with aging populations such as Niagara Falls are offering to pay off students’ loans in order to get more young people to move there. To combat obesity, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg proposed limiting soft drinks sold in movie theaters and restaurants to 16 ounces.

However, according to political economist Robert Reich, Roberts joined the liberal wing of the Court in his decision because of just that — he was worried about the public’s view that the Court’s rulings are based on partisan politics rather than legal objectivity.

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The Supreme Court’s decision to uphold the Affordable Care Act should give us all a reason to stand up and cheer.

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Let’s hope these small changes lead to bigger ones, such as a constitutional amendment to overturn the odious Citizens United decision, which the Supreme Court refused to reconsider.

In constitutional terms, Reich said, Justice Roberts based his ruling on shaky logic. Roberts considered the penalty for noncompliance with the Act a tax. But Reich also argued that “By this bizarre logic, the federal government can pass all sorts of unconstitutional laws — requiring people to sell themselves into slavery, for example — as long as the penalty for failing to do so is considered to be a tax.” The only explanation for the decision, Reich said, was that Roberts was concerned about the Court’s reputation. Although the Act could use some improvement — it still doesn’t cover all the uninsured — the Supreme Court ruling goes a long way toward saving America’s soul. It affirms the idea that we are a nation based on a set of human values, not a place that exists primarily to fatten the corporate bottom line.

In the meantime, in keeping with the theme of this magazine, we can laugh. In this issue, Liz McDonald and I demonstrate how to cook with a household iron; Liz explains what happens to workers who drop dead of old age at work (because they can’t afford to retire); Stan Sinberg skewers budget airlines; Debbie Simorte examines the revival of pop art and dadaism in home decorating; and Sally Deering explores bachelor life in a storage locker. I discuss the conversion of some people into legal corporations and examine a new labor category: the professionally unemployed. Thank you, readers, for your positive (and sometimes very funny) comments on the magazine’s Facebook page. I hope you enjoy this issue. 2

– Blair Adams

Volume 1, Number 4 • Summer 2012

PROFESSIONALLY UNEMPLOYED: IT’S NOT AN OXYMORON

NEW WORKPLACE BENEFIT PAYS FOR FUNERAL EXPENSES

THINKING “INSIDE” THE BOX: LIVING IN A STORAGE UNIT

IRON CHEF: GOURMET PANINI ON THE CHEAP

DECOR FOR NOTHING AND YOUR ART FOR FREE

CARRY-ON LUGGAGE FEES: HOW ONE MAN FOUGHT BACK

THE SUPREME COURT DECLARES SOME PEOPLE CORPORATIONS: HOW YOU CAN INVEST 3

P R O F E S S I O N A L LY U N E M P L O Y E D : IT’S NOT AN OXYMORON by Blair Adams

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s the effective rate of unemployment in the United States reaches 14.9 percent, the Bureau of Labor Statistics announced it’s time to add a new category of unemployment: the professionally unemployed. It’s not as crazy as it sounds. First of all, the Bureau argued, there are all of those who are self-employed but make little or no money and therefore should not technically be considered employed.

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Colby Brown believes prolonged unemployment teaches valuable skills that employers should recognize.

Some labor experts have gone even further and declared that unemployment should be considered a profession in its own right. Many employers, for instance, only consider candidates who already have a job and won’t hire the unemployed.

Joblessness teaches many valuable skills. Protracted unemployment builds resilience and character by forcing people to face repeated rejection.

But Colby Brown, a labor policy analyst at the Brookings Institute, said that these employers fail to recognize that joblessness teaches many valuable skills. “Protracted unemployment,” he said, “builds resilience and character by forcing people to face repeated rejection. Unemployment teaches budgeting under extreme circumstances. It also teaches flexibility — people have to creatively adapt to changing circumstances, like college students who get degrees in biology, then end up working at the Gap. And like our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, unemployment teaches people to soldier on in the face of imminent disaster — such as dangling at the precipice of foreclosure, homelessness and stacks of unpaid medical bills.”

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The Bureau also stated that people should be considered professionally unemployed if they don’t have a “real” job. Canvassing, distributing petitions, doing an internship or wearing a chicken suit outside a fast-food restaurant have little compensation or growth potential and so should be considered a dubious state of employment.

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PROFESSIONALLY UNEMPLOYED, continued

NEW WORKPLACE B E N E F I T PAY S F O R FUNERAL EXPENSES by Liz McDonald

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n the old days, workers used to get killed the old-fashioned way: falling from scaffolds and getting caught in machinery. But the recent economic downturn and the resulting inability of many Americans to retire have created an entirely new occupational hazard: dying of old age while on the job.

Michelle Bachmann thinks “professionally unemployed” is another name for those who are undeserving of benefits.

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“All of the characteristics I have mentioned,” Mr. Brown continued, “are great training for leadership.” Recognition of this fact, he said, should persuade more employers to hire the jobless. “But in the end,” he continued, “the only way we’re going to make a dent in the unemployment rate is massive public works projects, just like we did during the Great Depression.”

Funeral benefits are now available for those who can’t afford to retire and end up dying at work.

As more and more workers are succumbing to this unforeseen hazard, some employers are now offering “Winter Sunset,” a benefit that is designed to help employees who are at risk of dying at work. This funeral-expense coverage fills an important gap that worker’s compensation was never designed to deal with. New employees can choose the benefit and pay into it each week, just like a 401(k). Employees can save even more money by preordering caskets and other funeral supplies from Costco over the Internet. Winter Sunset is portable from one job to the next, and typically, the employer matches the employee’s contributions.

Predictably, the Bureau’s announcement was greeted with laughter and jeers by congressional Republicans. “The only ‘professionally unemployed’ are those who are collecting benefits and not looking for work,” said Representative Michelle Bachmann on Fox News. “We don’t need any huge government spending to put people to work. Unemployment causes unemployment,” she said. “And we’re not going to see any improvement in the economy until we get a grip on both.” • • •

FUNERAL EXPENSES, continued

As workers move into their upper seventies, anxiety about being “caught dead” at work starts to become overwhelming. “Concentrating on my job and just trying to keep up with software updates is challenging enough,” said Mary Eddings, a 78-year-old administrative assistant for a deepdiscount retailer. “I worry enough about keeping up with my job without having to worry about bothering my co-workers if I drop dead.”

Employees who opt for the Do Not Resuscitate provision are rewarded with a 10 percent discount on funeral services. “It does seem a bit counterintuitive,” continued Ms. Perkins. “Obviously, employers don’t want their employees to die, but, realistically, if an 80-year-old worker has a neardeath event on the job, it is unlikely that he or she will return to work in the future. Not only that, but to be eligible for the payout, the employee must pass away on the job, not in an ambulance or in the hospital.“

Many workers like Mary opt for the gold- or silverplated Winter Sunset bracelet engraved with an 800 number and a Do Not Resuscitate inscription. “The bracelet looks a lot like the kind diabetic or epileptic people wear. If anything should happen to me at work, someone would immediately notice the bracelet and call the 1-800 number. That gives me peace of mind,” said Mary.

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I worry enough about keeping up with my job without having to worry about bothering my co-workers if I drop dead.

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Once the deceased worker has been removed from the job, and the medical examiner has certified the cause of death to be the result of old age, the funeral benefits are paid according to what level of coverage the employee chose, and how long he or she contributed.

For the new hires who are encountering Winter Sunset for the first time, they should think of it as both an insurance and retirement product. “People should realistically consider their prospects for ever landing a high-paying job before they opt out of the benefit,” cautioned Ashley McGinty, a human resources manager at Transamerica Insurance. “This is the kind of product that gets me excited about my job — I haven’t seen anything this forward-thinking in a long time. Today’s economic climate has made it challenging for benefits managers to design quality compensation packages for new hires. At the end of the day, I think this one is going to be very popular.” • • •

“So let’s say an employee didn’t begin contributing until the age of 65,” said Joan Perkins, a benefits manager at Modern Hiring Solutions in Minneapolis, Minnesota. “That worker can still rest assured that he or she will at the very least be buried in a wood casket, assuming the death was the result of old age. Like any insurance product, the more you contribute, the better the benefits. Recent college graduates are uniquely poised to reap the greatest rewards because they are starting so young. Beneficiaries of these policyholders can opt for a custom granite headstone, catering and floral tributes for their loved one.”

THINKING “INSIDE” THE BOX: LIVING IN A STORAGE UNIT

Men seem to be hit the hardest, especially after they find themselves out of work and tossed to the curb with their man-cave belongings. Unable to find a job and forced to pay a monthly rent to store their stuff, many men have discovered a way to make it work — they move into their storage units.

by Sally Deering

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he last few years have been especially tough for homeowners trying to pay their mortgages after losing a job. Some are able to bounce back into the workforce and keep their houses; others have had to succumb to foreclosure. And like a chain reaction, sooner or later marriages bust apart and the nuclear family is just a bunch of old photos in a scrapbook.

Most of these guys are lonely guys who got dumped by their women, moved into their storage units and stayed there. After all, the TV was already there.

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Although most storage facilities have tight security, as well as strict building and fire codes, many men have found sympathetic owners, or those who accept payment under the table for allowing them to live there. “Most of these guys are lonely guys who got dumped by their women, moved into their storage units and stayed there,” said Dennis Lynch, an auto mechanic who lives in a storage unit in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. “After all, the TV was already there.”

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Lynch, 26, moved into his unit after he lost his job at a repair shop in Miami and his wife became tired of supporting them. His new home is a $600 a month, 200-square-foot cement block that comes with two garage doors and a private office with an air conditioner. By night Lynch sleeps in a bedroom set taken from his first bachelor apartment, and by day he moves it aside to fix mufflers.

Carl Hopkins enjoys the camaraderie of “Barter Town.”

LIVING IN A STORAGE UNIT, continued

“Lots of guys who live in their units, work in their units, too,” he said. “The guy next door is an antique furniture restorer and the guy on the other side of me is a carpenter. There are lots of blue-collar guys living here, and they all trade work. I call it ‘Barter Town.’”

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It’s like a summer camp but without the counselors trying to make you take a shower.

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Some storage units are more upscale than others. One unit dweller, José Melendez, who was married twice, has two sets of everything — two HD-TVs, two queen-sized beds and two lawn mowers he uses to prop up the garage door on hot days. A self-taught chef, Melendez cooks on a gas stove he installed next to a working refrigerator and portable toilet.

Dennis Lynch finds a storage unit to be a terrific live-work arrangement.

“I get to put up my naked girlie posters, blast the record player and rock out to Led Zeppelin on my electric guitar,” Hopkins said, eating a dinner of beef and pasta he cooked on a hot plate. “And I got a CB radio in case the cops get wise.”

“This place has all the comforts of home,” Melendez said. “And I’ve made a lot of friends. At night, we sit outside our units, share a cocktail and talk politics. Sometimes we play Scrabble and Pictionary and have sing-a-longs. It’s like summer camp but without the counselors trying to make you take a shower.”

Hopkins and the rest of the men living in this storage depot seem to have formed a brotherhood of some kind.

Carl Hopkins, 45, is the oldest resident of “Barter Town” and has lived in his unit for three years. A former stockbroker, Hopkins moved in to get away from the hustle and bustle of Wall Street and the loud sighs from his exasperated wife. Since then, Hopkins has taken on his new bachelorhood with a flourish and never looked back.

“Every night, we get drunk, fight with each other and then it’s lights out by 10,” Hopkins says. “Just like when I was married.” • • •

I R O N

C H E F

by Blair Adams and Liz McDonald

Ellen Goldstein

ecessity, as the saying goes, is the mother of invention. So when Linda O’Connor, 32, a gourmet cook and food writer based in New York City, lost her job and then her apartment, she had to think on her feet.

Using two irons saves time.

to increase production, Linda bought a second iron and squeezed the sandwiches in between two irons.

Ellen Goldstein

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Cooking has always thrived on creativity.

Then using the iron as a hot plate by turning it upside down and propping it up between two bricks, she began experimenting with cooking other foods, such as vegetables and fish.

For those without homes or kitchens, gourmet panini can easily be prepared with a household iron.

Careful to keep her culinary experiments from the hotel management who would have thrown her out had they known she was cooking in her room, she began making grilled panini to sell to the office and construction workers in the neighborhood. As her business grew and she had

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Cooking was her passion. But homeless and marooned in a motel room with no kitchen and no immediate job prospects, Linda wallowed in despair for weeks. Suddenly, she was struck with inspiration — use the motel iron and ironing board to make gourmet panini and other grilled sandwiches.

Linda O’Connor gives boyfriend Paul Rosen a taste of her latest creation. 9

IRON CHEF, continued

CARRY-ON LUGGAGE FEES: H O W O N E M A N F O U G H T B A C K

Ellen Goldstein

by Stan Sinberg

hen Mickey Peck arrived at the gate for his Budget Airlines flight and gate attendants told him he’d have to pay $100 to store his carry-on bag in the overhead bin, he did something unexpected. He purchased an airplane ticket for his luggage.

Making stir-fry and other dishes is a breeze.

“It turns out it was cheaper to buy my bag a seat than to store it overhead,” Peck said. “The seat only cost $65.”

It took quite a bit of tinkering to figure out which settings — cotton, polyester, linen or nylon — were appropriate for which recipes. But like every other inventor in history, her 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration eventually paid off. Even with the steep fines she incurred when she was found out and cited by the Vendor Licensing Board and the Health Department, Linda made enough money to move out, get an apartment in New Jersey, and begin work on a cookbook The Iron Chef ’s Essential Guide to Homeless Cuisine. The cookbook, which is due out in November, is meant to help the homeless and formerly homeless to continue to be creative and healthy, no matter where they are.

Budget Airlines is known for its low-cost fares, but attaches fees or charges to virtually everything, including water. “Budget is dirt cheap if you don’t eat, drink, check bags, take carry-on bags and probably pretty soon, go to the bathroom,” Peck snorted. Peck said he didn’t pay for his carry-on bag at the kiosk, where it’s “only” $50, because he thought he could store it under his seat, which, amazingly enough, is still free. “But the attendants insisted I’d have to store it overhead, on account of what happened last time.”

Her next project involves using the dryer to knead dough and make tossed salads.

“Last time” refers to a previous Budget flight Peck took in which to avoid the carry-on fee, he wedged his backpack so tightly under the seat that in order to get it back out, mechanics had to be called in to remove the seat.

“Cooking,” she said, “has always thrived on creativity.” • • •

“They charged me for that, too,” Peck said, but would not disclose how much. But he added, 10

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CARRY-ON LUGGAGE, continued

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“I thought the guy who was in the seat next to my bag looked a little shifty-eyed, so when I strapped it in the seat, I told him, ‘If you so much as touch my bag, I’ll have you arrested for assaulting a passenger. And if you steal it, you won’t just go down for theft; I’ll make sure you’re charged with kidnapping.”

When faced with high carry-on fees, Mickey Peck found it was cheaper to buy a seat for his luggage.

“Let’s just say they charge a lot more to remove a seat than to sit in it.” After that incident, Budget put Peck on its “no-wedge” list. “If there’s even a question of whether a bag will fit under the seat with Peck, we make him store it overhead,” said Liz Borden, a Budget Air spokesperson.

Peck said that while he’s not a lawyer, he keeps up with the news. “I based what I said on the Citizens United case with the Supreme Court. If corporations have all the same rights as people, then I figure if my bag is a passenger, it enjoys all the same protections as you and me.” But even with all his traumatic experiences with Budget, Peck still doesn’t want to fly another airline. “I guess I’m like a lot of people,” he said. “I keep getting suckered in by those low advertised fares. I forget about all those fees till later.”

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I figure if my bag is a passenger, it enjoys all the same protections as you and me.

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Budget ticket agents said they were taken aback when Peck asked to buy a ticket for his luggage, but had no grounds to refuse. “As long as the bag is wearing its seatbelt and keeps the seat in the upright position, it meets all the requirements to fly,” Borden said.

But Peck said he’s figured out a solution, so he won’t have this problem in the future.

The bag presented one thorny issue for the flight attendants: it was supposed to be stored under the seat during take-off.

“From now on, I’m traveling with just the clothes on my back. I’ll hit the Goodwill and buy some clothes. I’ll have a new wardrobe, and it’ll still be cheaper than forking over a hundred bucks to cram my bag in the overhead compartment.”

“We had a big discussion about that,” said John Grange, one of the attendants on the flight. “But in the end, we decided that by buying a ticket, the bag was no longer a ‘bag,’ but a passenger.” How the bag was classified came up again when, due to lack of availability, Peck and his bag had to sit in different seats.

Liz Borden, the spokesperson for Budget replied, “Oh, I’m confident we’ll figure out a way to charge him for that, too.” • • • 11

Jessica Robinette

D E CO R F O R N OT H I N G AND YOUR ART FOR FREE by Debbie Simorte

early five years into the Great Recession, it is not surprising that pop art, dadaism and do-it-yourself art — movements that use simple, easy-to-obtain items — have become hot new trends in home decorating. Takeoffs of Andy Warhol’s images of household standards such as tomato soup cans and Brillo boxes, wildly popular in the sixties, have made a big comeback.

Steel wool and ketchup bottles bring a Warholian ambience to any home.

DRESS THE WALLS Not long ago, we could finance anything. Next thing you know, we had to sell the Salvador Dali or the Picasso print to pay the mortgage. No worries. Just fill the empty space with your own version of Warhol. Nine steel wool boxes make a statement on this dining room wall, and are hung with lightweight mounting tape so you can easily switch them out for whatever suits your mood (or whatever the food pantry has in excess for the week). Cereal boxes make great pop art and can dispense your breakfast right from the installation.

With everything from the family heirlooms to the not-so-valuables sold off just to meet basic needs, the recession has stripped our habitats. The upside is that decorating styles that are simple, free and for everyone are at last bringing fine art into American homes.

Have a small space that needs a little something? Try ketchup bottles. It’s hard to be depressed over debt with the words “dip and squeeze” all over the wall. The trick in using small items in pop art is to use multiples, just like Andy’s repeated images of Marilyn Monroe and Liz Taylor. If you can’t go big, go bright and go bold.

POP ART TOP THE TABLE Two bottles of orange soda and lime juice really pop and are not so large that you can’t see the envy on your guests’ faces as they survey the décor, wondering how the down-and-out can be so hip and happy. Any combination of bold, bright or bizarre also works well.

Jessica Robinette

Christy Robinson, after being laid off from her construction job in Cleveland, said, “We lost the house, sold the car and kept the kids, so I traded my crystal for cases of beer. Now when the little darlings bring me a flower plucked from the neighbor’s yard, I have plenty of Bud vases on hand.” 12

DECOR FOR NOTHING, continued

D O - I T-Y O U R S E L F A R T

DA DA I S M

MOD THE MANTEL

Jessica Robinette

Next time you’re having an out-of-money experience, throw a finger-painting party. This mantel gets a colorful painting at very little cost. The great thing about do-it-yourself art is that it is whatever you want it to be. Play with what you’ve got.

Jessica Robinette

Finger painting adds fun, whimsical accents at very low cost.

Wheelbarrows and other found objects are very Dada and make great conversation pieces.

In the early 20th century, artists like Marcel Duchamp were famous for their “readymades” — art made from found objects. Duchamp is best known for Fountain, a work he created by painting “R. Mutt” on a urinal.

Karlene Kentner, owner of Hair of the Dog Home Interiors in Des Moines, said the idea for her new line of dog-hair pillows hit her one day while trying to clean bushels of the stuff off the sofa. “It’s nearly as soft as alpaca. Each piece is unique, as no two dog hairs are the same. Although I spend hours creating each pillow, swiping, twirling and rolling the hair until it meets the highest standards of petability, you can make your own, and quickly.

Now you can have your own versions of Dada art right in your own home.

“Just gather hair (sofas and return air vents are excellent sources), a shower cap and glue. Liberally coat the cap with glue, and then stick one handful of hair on at a time until cap is completely covered. After glue is dry, just stretch the shower cap over any old pillow, and you have a beautiful and functional work of art.”

In this example, moving an object such as a wheelbarrow to the living room frees up garage space and creates an accent table with a bonus. When friends are on the way, you can quickly roll it around and put drinks or appetizers in it if you don’t have a table. This gives you plenty of time to find centerpiece material. You can also do the same with ladders, bicycles, shovels and many other items you can find in your house or yard. The possibilities are endless.

PERK UP THE PILLOWS

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DECOR FOR NOTHING, continued

P E R S O N A L

D O - I T-Y O U R S E L F A R T

F I N A N C E

THE SUPREME COURT DECLARES SOME PEOPLE C O R P O R A T I O N S : HOW YOU CAN INVEST by Blair Adams

Jessica Robinette

T Dog hair pillows are very chic and easy to make.

he Supreme Court’s highly controversial Citizens United ruling declared that corporations, as legal persons, could spend unlimited amounts of money on political campaigns. In a corollary to that ruling, announced last week, the Supreme Court also decided that some people, such as celebrities, politicians and corporate executives, could be considered legal corporations, allowing them to sell shares of themselves to the public.

PILLOWS, continued If you don’t have glue, or you are just too busy being unemployed for the project, another option is to roll up your favorite black outfit and leave it on the sofa. Your pets will take care of the rest.

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If you don’t have pets, try polyester. Any charitable organization that gives away clothing has lots of it, which is perfect for pillows. Just slip a shirt over your pillow and tie the sleeves together for an impressive update. The stock of celebrities such as Tiger Woods can now be traded on the NYSE or NASDAQ.

Andy Warhol said, “What’s great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest.”

Whereas millions have been wiped out in the Great Recession because they had all their equity tied up in their homes, the extreme volatility in the lives of some public figures is good news in a sense for middleand low-income investors, who can take advantage of scandals to purchase stocks at very low prices.

Now, thanks to the Great Recession, that’s actually true. • • •

Tiger Woods is a classic example of a public figure who became a corporation. The champion golfer’s IPO, meaning that in exchange for the capital he raised, investors got a share of his future earnings,

SOME PEOPLE CORPORATIONS, continued traded at $350 a share before news of his divorce scandal broke. His stock traded at a record low of 50 cents a share until recently, when he began winning tournaments again, and his stock rose to $100 a share, meaning that small investors who bought at the bottom made a tidy profit.

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The Supreme Court also decided that some people, such as celebrities, politicians and corporate executives, could be considered legal corporations.

The fact that the stocks of senators such as Mitch McConnell or Harry Reid, as incorporated entities, can now be publicly traded on the NYSE or NASDAQ is only a formality. Unofficially, they’re being bought anyway. But the shares of such individuals, as well as those of corporate executives, typically trade at prices too high for low-income investors to afford.

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The five conservative Supreme Court justices who ruled in favor of Citizens United, Justices Scalia, Thomas, Kennedy, Alito and Chief Justice John Roberts, have taken advantage of their own ruling and have had themselves publicly traded on the New York Stock Exchange. Since they have lifetime appointments and steady incomes, they are a good bet for middle-income investors.

Bill McGuire believes that the dividends paid by celebrity mutual funds show that trickle-down economics works.

This is where celebrity mutual funds come into play, which can be obtained from discount brokerage firms. Bill McGuire, 43, of Grand Rapids, Michigan, was an unemployed welder, and there were so few jobs in Michigan that even the state unemployment office had closed. However, with his wife’s earnings as a substitute teacher, he managed to invest a small amount of money in a celebrity mutual fund. Besides providing some retirement security, the dividends from the fund eventually earned the couple enough money that they were able to buy a used car for Bill to continue his job search.

The decision created a whole new industry overnight. There is now an investment bank called Me, Inc. that will take people public. Financial service providers and brokerage firms had to learn how to advise their clients on which people and their corresponding stocks, mutual funds and other instruments are best for their investment strategies. In addition, gossip magazines such as People and Us have had to hire armies of MBAs to field the avalanche of e-mails from readers demanding to know how this or that bit of celebrity news affects the value of their investments. The ruling hasn’t changed a thing politically. Citizens United guaranteed that investors can still give unlimited amounts of money to a given representative or senator’s campaign through theoretically independent super PACs, the dividend being laws written or amended in their favor.

And Bill is optimistic about his future. “With expensive divorces, arrests, stints in rehab and so forth, there is a certain amount of risk involved in these funds, of course. But overall, I think we’ve done well. Our experience shows that trickle-down economics works; the earnings of the wealthy do get to the less well-off eventually. I don’t think people really see that.” • • •